#GoinG to not become my mother
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Facilitated a meeting tonight where for the first 60 minutes I was like "I have to stop volunteering to facilitate these things I can't fucking do this I can't take it any more." But then a bunch of us stayed on the call for an extra 30 minutes to informally advise a less-experienced member about some things and it completely restored my faith in the whole process.
And THEN right as we were leaving one person there was like "though of course we can't just focus on ending one genocide. People are suffering in Sudan too. they're eating each other over there. Last I heard". And that did break me again I must say.
#I neeeeeeed to step back I have no patience right now#No patience means i'm fraying and i'm going to snap#Other signs i need to step back: neglecting housework. Chronically doubting that my work is adding anything to the movement anyway.#Going to carefully patiently fulfill my current obligations and not pick any more up#Going to spend a few weeks. A month? Tending to my garden and cleaning my house and reading FANFICTION#Going to spend a while attending things not leading them. Maybe sometimes sitting it out all together!#GoinG to not become my mother#Peace and love on planet earth#Me Fein#sudan crisis cw
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ARCANE LEAGUE OF LEGENDS: 2x01 - “Heavy is the Crown” ↳ "I know you doubt your merit of your birthright, Caitlyn. There's wisdom in that. But remember: You're a Kiramman."
#last post for a bit bc i will take a short break#arcane#arcaneedit#arcane league of legends#caitlyn kiramman#jayce talis#ambessa medarda#councilor salo#councilor shoola#caitlyn#jayce#ambessa#salo#shoola#type: gif#media: arcane#arcane season 2 spoilers#s2 ep1#katie leung's delivery in this scene was amazing with this new hardened caitlyn... my jaw was on the floor#and then when cait said shut up i immediately closed my mouth oop LMFAO (also ambessa's face damn she defo notices her potential)#and then jayce hesitating for JUST A LIIIIITLE BIT THERE my heart....... hextech now being used for weapons :((((#ALSO this is so caitlyn she literally just told THE council what she wants to do just like how she does back then in s1 when marcus was#complaining about caitlyn not obeying orders and going off on her own lol#S1 Caitlyn…. who wanted nothing to do with the Kiramman name who wanted to forge a path on her own…#but S2 Caitlyn Kiramman driven by grief anger and guilt#finally accepts her birthright becoming into the woman she thinks her mother wants her to be and accepting a position#thats “befitting her station” as a full on commander and leader for piltover#but is this what cassandra truly wanted?????#Does she truly know what she is shooting for???? An anger fueled revenge tour just to kill jinx???#goddamn this show. fucking spectacular
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my martha knight au in a nutshell:
Danny/Martha: see up here?
Danny/Martha: *taps skull*
Danny/Martha: intense psychological damage
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Danny/Martha: *upon finding out she's pregnant*
Danny/Martha: oh my god i cant be a mom, I'm fifteen and homeless--
Danny/Martha: im going to be a terrible mother--
Danny/Martha: i live in a cAR--
Danny/Martha: what if the baby inherits my powers? Oh no--
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Danny/Martha post giving birth: i've only had Bruce for a minute and a half but if anything were to happen to him i won't even need to fuse with Vlad, I'm razing this goddamn planet to the ground myself
Danny, to Baby Bruce: you are the last remaining thread of my sanity. I'm going to give you the world :)
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Danny/Martha prior to getting pregnant: Fuck it, if everything in my life has led to this moment, i'm allowed to make one stupid decision. I'm getting drunk and getting laid
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Danny/Martha while Bruce was a toddler: i swear to fucking god i am going to kill the next person who talks to me--
Bruce: hi mommy!! i brought you something!!!
Danny/Martha, immediately flipping on a dime: hi baby!! what do you have?
Bruce, a weird child like his mother: a spider :)
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Danny/Martha, talking to Falcone after he made an unsavory comment at her and Bruce: If you ever come near me or my son again, I will dig up your shithead father's corpse and make you eat his skin.
Danny/Martha: do you understand me
Falcone:... crystal, ma'am
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Danny/Martha new in Gotham: *getting mugged*
Danny/Martha: *grabs man's arm*
Danny/Martha: I AM GOING TO BREAK YOU IN HALF LIKE A TWIG, FUCK BOY, DO YOU HEAR THE WORDS COMING OUT OF MY MOUTH--
(she then proceeds to terrorize Gotham's night life for the next extended period of time, mostly unintentionally)
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Danny/Martha: Danny Fenton?? No. you must be mistaken, my name is Martha Knight.
Danny/Martha: this here is my littlest knight, Bruce.
Danny/Martha: I made him all by myself :]
#if martha could become the joker in one timeline if bruce died then she had to have SOMETHIGN going on up there mentally. im all for it#im a 'martha wayne may have been secretly batshit' truther. subscribing to bruciemilf's portrayal of the wayne parents#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dpxdc#fem danny fenton#female danny fenton#martha knight au#dp x dc crossover#dpxdc crossover#dpxdc au#dp x dc au#dp x dc#giving danny fenton psychological issues since 2022 folks#points at marthadanny: she's a hot mess with unprocessed trauma and psychological prblems. she's hanging on by a thread#LISTEN TO AFTER ALL BY CHRISTINE EBERSOLE THAT SUMS UP MARTHADANNY ENTIRELY#bruce your mom is even crazier than you. how is that possible. her trauma has trauma.#marthadanny: i dont wanna talk about my feelings OR my trauma i want to raise my son. go away#martha: who knew that being a child hero without any support would result in deeply rooted psychological issues and paranoia in spades#marthadanny: im fine (<- experienced liar. is not fine. please god someone restrain her before she claws someone's eyes out)#she has eyebags the size of the savanna and wields red lipstick like a weapon. she's going to rob a rich man blind. she has a baby to feed#what would a mother not do for her child? what heights would a mother not climb.#and you're shaken to your soul with an ache that you cant erase. like the tears you never cried but still keep scrubbing off your face.#there's a pain you cant imagine. the little talk that keeps you wide awake that somehow turns to bold determination that you wont ever make#the same mistake. so you've got to feed your little future and ensure her talent poise and charm might just grow up and save you after all#fun fact bruce and danny's birthdays are exactly one week apart. danny is Feb.12 and Bruce is Feb.19. take that as you will :)
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Just a girl who wants to be her mother’s daughter in the ways that matter
#Such a tenacious go getter & the smartest woman ik#Has NEVER looked back at a man twice. Knows she’s beautiful & that attention is guaranteed. Never desperate for male validation ever#The best fashion sense ik. She’s the epitome of classic & vintage#Doesn’t gaf what others are doing / is always tunnel visioned on her own goals#A mega workaholic and like. Maybe I’d rather balance but still she’s still an overachiever#I feel im becoming more and more like her by the day but still I have some work to do#Need to be more focused & to stop entertaining little boys fr#I just want to move w the unshackling confidence & elegance she seems to emanate effortlessly#I swear that woman was born that way!!!! So unfair for the rest of us mortals#Why does no one talk about the psychological torture that comes w having a naturally gorgeous genius mother#I’m dying over here I just wanna be like her but im pushing that boulder up the hill all the time#Meanwhile she’s always just On#HOW#Just an eldest daughter having a crisis about her mother who is also#The eldest daughter out of her and her two brothers#I need to journal about this I need to meditate#How to manufacture the drive that your mother was simply endowed with at birth#Not even joking I just got off my internship and now im sitting on a swing under the late May sun having a crisis about this
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Actually so tired that people mainly focus on the bdsm when they talk about La Pianiste when we literally have this dynamic right here. Like, that's insane.
What if you were a little girl in her 40's who couldn't grow up because of your mother-wife who made you sleep in her bed and forced you to repress every sexual desires and thoughts of becoming your own person just to keep you close to her ? What if you fought back and yearned for dangerous things out of her reach ? But also, what if you let her because it's all you've ever known and been taught to want ?
#these two are so entangled with each other and in the roles they play#(mother and daughter. husband and wife. prodigal or ungrateful daughter. adoring or mocking mother)#that they cannot handle it when something else is thrown into the mix#There's no space left because they fill all the roles in each other's lives.#but at the same time they never give the other exactly what she wants#The fights never last. Erika will never live up to her mother's ambitions. And her mother will never give her any form of affection which#might satiate her hunger for love. And so on.#They are deeply imperfect- Love and Despise each other but they could never bear the thought of being separated#When I read the part in the book where Erika talks to Walter for the first time and all she wants is to go back into her mother's womb...#you can't make that shi up#when people talk about toxic yuri that's what they could mean but unfortunately we live in a society#gradually learning to accept the person I'm becoming who would've been burned at the stake by my younger self <3#been having so much thoughts about this film once again. And I know that nothing written here is new but I'm a little sad no one really#talks about this relationship online since it's really the heart of the story for me#Of course everything happening with Walter is important. But none of that would be there without the mother-daughter situation#la pianiste#the piano teacher#haneke#sheep stuffs#isabelle huppert#also I'd kinda get it if it was another film and it made people too uncomfortable to talk about it. but I mean this is literally La Pianist
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fainting goat hybrid!ghost whose father and brother loved to scare him and make him faint; exploiting a weakness he didn’t understand and didn’t know how to stop. they took sadistic pleasure in watching his body lock up and fall to the ground with no hope of catching himself until he ended up with more bruises and scrapes from falling than from being beaten
that helplessness chafed at him and he forced himself through the drawbacks of his biology to secure a place in the military, even with the prejudice against prey animals. just for him to take a mission in mexico and find himself enduring the “hospitality” of roba who thinks his involuntary paralysis is a great deal of fun; especially when he learns he’s conscious the whole time
what haunts ghost most is his waking autopsy
not the pain of the incisions, not the trauma of watching roba reach into his body and play with his insides, but the knowledge that he couldn't get away because his own body betrayed him. he wasn't put under, no drugs coursed through his system. he didn’t have restraints fitted on him to lock him to the operating table. it wasn’t necessary
roba just had to make him faint first
after digging himself out of his grave, ghost puts himself on a dangerous cocktail of muscle relaxers and other medications; hormones that block hybrid instincts, vasodilators to increase blood flow and stop his muscles locking up, anti-anxiety meds to cut off his surprise response at the root. he puts his body through the wringer to the point that medical is constantly worried for his health and shocked that he isn't regularly OD’ing
but he will never let his body betray him again
#what up i saw a video about fainting goats and was like ‘i can blorboify that’#ive never seen this specific hybrid type before and got so giddy with the idea that i might be presenting something new before the courts#the rest of his family werent hybrids but his father blamed his mother for letting him become one#saying she must have a recessive gene that ‘poisoned’ his offspring#(but hes the one that has an incomplete family medical history wink wink nudge nudge your fault cunt)#i go back and forth between soap being a predator hybrid but still submitting to ghost no matter how repressed he is#or another prey hybrid who is the furthest thing from ashamed about his instincts and needs#but either way he can smell the almost sickly scent coming off ghost in waves to the point that he cant help scratching at his nose#he hates it. hates the way it covers up his natural scent but he doesnt know what to do#hes always taken pride in his identity#but ghost? hes mutilitating himself from the inside and he doesnt know how to help him stop#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt#we’re a team. ghost team#ghost cod#simon ghost riley#ghoap#ghostsoap#soapghost#hybrid au#cod fic#john soap mactavish#soap cod#save post
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the center for missing and exploited children has been getting daily calls about wren eleanor for the past two years. sometimes hundreds of calls per day. just for her. i know this because they told me as much when i called them myself a few hours ago.
it hurts.
#op#its hard to process#all i can think about is how she's going to grow up and find out#that thousands and thousands if not hundreds of thousands of people are begging someone#absolutely fucking ANYONE to HELP her#and her own mother is deliberately placing her on a silver platter for predators to consume#all i can think about is how once you have a kid everyone elses kid becomes your kid#not in an ownership way but in a protective way#all i can think about is my own child
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finally finished this fucking book
it took me almost a year because it’s so hard to get through oh my GODS
#every time Leo and Calypso interacted I wanted to bang my head on the table until I passed out#I’ve already reblogged 2 posts about this ik. But seriously how the hell does uncle Rick not realize how toxic that ship is#Leo’s character is practically ruined bc of Caleo WHY CANT MY POOR SON JUST HAVE ACTUAL CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT GOTDAMN :(#also Lester literally pissed his pants like every other chapter wtf???#and the new characters were kinda boring imo#Leo finding a mother figure in Josephine was really sweet but other than that I had no strong opinions on anyone#i do appreciate Meg and her backstory but she really does get on my nerves sometimes#istg if Grover pookie is mid next book I’m going to sob#and I already know my baby boy Jason dies next book so sobbing will happen either way#percy jackon and the olympians#percy jackson#lester papadopoulos#the trials of apollo#pjo hoo toa#jason grace#meg mccaffrey#leo valdez#grover underwood#(I’m just saying if Leo and Jason kissed all my problems would be solved)#how tf did I accidentally become a valgrace shipper#idc it’s much better than caleo anyway 🤷♀️#this book was repulsing it never happened
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'colin needs to grovel' 'colin should suffer' 'pen can't let him off easy'
please, his mother in law is about to be PORTIA, doesn't the man have enough curses in his life?
#colin bridgerton#polin#portia featherington#colin at the beginning realizing he's marrying into the Featheringtons: oh god i have truly met some insufferable people in my life#colin hours later full of spite and w/ approx. 0 patience for Portia's shit deciding he's gonna become The Problem: but also they've met me#Colin decides he's going to be the permanent thorn in her side and it's wonderful#don't get me wrong#but damn. . .pour one out for our boy#you KNOW he loves Pen because who the fuck else would deal with Portia of all people as a mother in law????#'woe portia as your MIL upon thee' is like. . .THE ultimate curse#but Colin went 'it's rotten work but not if it's for Pen'#we should all be so lucky
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projecting onto characters is all fun and games until u start giving Yu (and Nanako) your "Children of overworked and/or single parents that seemed to only relax or spend meaningful time with you during meals and so food and the happiness derived from it became an aceptable subsitute for affection and attention" and "Learning to cook your own meals at a young age was the best and worst thing to happen because it pleased your parent/s and made them proud but only in the sense that meant they had every excuse to no longer cook meals for your and thus not spend time with you." as well as "The result of this twisted food into both a self-soothing remedy for loneliness and as a means of self-harm when depriving yourself of it" becasue goddamn
#shout out to both dojima and my mother for choosing to go out smoking and drinking with work/pals rather then spending time with their kids#diff between dojima and my mother tho is that he is working to mend his ways and relationship didn't become radicalized by info wars#tho it is weird that they both kept visiting someone in jail#you know I don't like these paralells very much#here's hopin Dojima dosen't start beliving aliens live under the earth & secretly manipulate society because idk if I can handle that#lifts cup: cheers mate
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i know we've gotten eddie's side of things by virtue of him being a main character and shannon being a character in his story, but please for a second can we remember that before shannon's frontal lobe was finished developing she got pregnant, got married, lost her partner to the army without warning, went through a traumatizing birth, had her son diagnosed with cp, and had to deal with all of this in an in-law environment that was Less Than Ideal without a support system of her own separate from her husband
and then her mother got CANCER and was dying alone in another state and when shannon told her husband she wanted to move closer to her to take care of her he had the audacity to ask for TIME when her mother was DYING
and THEN after she made a horribly painful choice to leave her son so she could spend her mother's last months with her she finds out her husband moved to the very city she begged for them to move to bc of a job he could literally have Anywhere
shannon made some questionable choices i'm not saying she didn't but bestie no WONDER she wanted a divorce. the man she married was a stranger and the few concrete things she knew about him by s2 were not conducive to love. eddie was and is a great father but he was genuinely a horrible husband, and the fact that shannon could recognize that and choose herself is incredible to me.
edit: there is now a follow-up post about eddie
#shannon diaz#eddie diaz#9-1-1#and ofc this wants to make me go back to the manny fic#(my shannon pov fic where buck shows up in el paso#and becomes christopher's manny when he's about ~3)#bc shannon is so INTERESTING to me#as someone who was abandoned by a parent yes#if you have a kid i think you have to show up for them#but thinking about shannon#going from 18-21ish person#to MOTHER#and losing her identity#with no help aside from condescending in-laws#is so heartbreaking#her choosing to better herself for herself AND her son#is so powerful#yes she left but she came back#and then was forced to leave again#anyway post about eddie to follow up i just wanted this to be about shannon
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2019 to (wip) 2024... holy moly
#mother series#earthbound beginnings#ninten halloway#lloyd schneider#ana brewton#im gnna use the last names from that one book cuz I like them:)#ill go back and revise my old posts to change the tags#so happy my vision of the characters are becoming fully realized#I've learned a lot since 2018-2019...#I love u mother 1 forever and ever
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elena ferrante banging us all on the head with a hammer and shouting 'you can't outrun your mother, you only crash into her'
#this thought inspired by tina and imma being their mother's#tina as lila - clever + beloved#imma as lenu - reserved + cautious#SPOILER FOR SEASON 4 LOOK AWAY LOOK AWAY#tina is inheriting lila's destiny as the 'lost child'#lila''s greatest fear being dissolving into the margins >>#tina becoming dissolved in those very margins#how do you go back? you can't#also thinking about lila's mother and lenu's mother -#lenu as nunzia (more reserved)#whereas immacolata is more like lila. brash and loud and unafraid of violence#and then the daughters switch#and then...THEY SWITCH AGAIN with lila/tina...#THE DOLLS!! THE DOLLS BEING SWITCHED#elena ferrante has taken a single spool of thread from day ONE#and held onto it#to the very last page of the quartet the last MOMENT#elena ferrante there is no prize that deserves YOU#elena ferrante#my brilliant friend#story of the lost child
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🪡 + 🔨 | more yapping!!
NOTE: because so many bigger members of the Avarice Battalion are from the Omega clan, a big portion go to The Garden to celebrate the Omega Tree every Spring (a large symbol of longevity and legacy for the clan...before they burned down lmaooo!!!).
#tw blood#stressmonster101#iskall85#hermitcraft#soul eater#SELOTV#✩ | bonnies scribbles!#i just love backstories - hey girl why are you CRAZY!!!#their first meeting was stress punching iskall in the face for stealing her skulls repeatedly - get him girl!!#flora witches dont typically hide their bloomed flowers away - if they dont get enough sun they become sad and their personality changes.#<- the ones the live above ground at least!#you'll see throughout other rambles that iskall is very respectful of nature because he's scared of flora witches - especially The Mother 💀#i know this isnt how witches function in Soul Eater but i hold the power to make this my canon! strap in its redstone witches next!#tubbo?! whoa what are you doing here youre not even born yet when this story takes place omg!! get outta here!#the idea that a flora witch's flower just grows out of their head is so silly to me i needed it#the Avarice isn't really a military for anyone in this moment but i thought the name was cool as hell#mwawhwhawa being indebted!! that will totally never come up every again!!!!!! never!!!!!!!#stress having a witches soul which BY THE WAY has the ability to turn a demon scythe into a death scythe is TOTALY not going to be plot -#relevant!! thats crazy id never do that!!!!
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Monty 👏 Deserved 👏 Better 👏
#rooting for him and Edwin in S2#I don’t know how it’s going to work now that he’s a crow again but I’m trusting that there’s someone out there who can make him human again#my boy did not deserve Esther as a mother#or whatever the fuck she technically is to him#owner? master? mm that’s weird#he deserves a chance to become someone more than her puppet#and by that I mean he should join the agency and Edwin should fall in love with him#random thoughts with rowan#dead boy detective agency#dead boy detectives#edwin payne#monty the crow#monty dead boy detectives#monty dbd#edwin dbd#dbd edwin#edwin dead boy detectives#edwin x monty#monty x edwin
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Sometimes being in love is like getting your eye gored in a fit of purifying violence, sometimes it's not
#I keep talking about the romance of cannibalism so much my mother has gotten so so so tired of me (my friends are more mixed)#but also she got me to watch The Hunger (1983) which was very fun and very 80s#its about consuming and being consumed!!!!!!!!!!! Eating your loved one because you cannot stand them existing outside of yourself!!!!!!!!!#being eaten because you cannot stand existing outside of your lover!!! Becoming obsessed with literally merging together in the goriest way#basically I cannot stop thinking about Hannibal (2013)#I couldn't figure out how to get Tz's horn to fit with the way I placed their heads and then I realized wough........it would be going righ#in Vris's eye if I keep their heads where they were so I just leaned in bc themes......motifs..........symbolism................#blinding and being blinded is so central to their narrative ya know#anyway. this is an unhinged amount of tags I hope you had fun reading all of them#vriska serket#terezi pyrope#vrisrezi#homestuck#hs#my art#fantasy blood#religious imagery
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