#God this argument is getting so fucking old
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miradelletarot · 7 months ago
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I'm gonna speak on this a bit here too, because personally, I have a toe dipped in both sides of this argument (for very real and personal reasons). irl, me as a person, i did not want children. for a LONG list of reasons i won't go into here, I ended up having three. I love them. I was not ready for them, and I think I would have been just fine without them.
I say this because I UNDERSTAND how big of a responsibility it is to care for a human that requires constant care and attention, and how soul-sucking it is to constantly be reminded of how much I DIDN'T want that for myself. HAVING KIDS IS NOT FOR EVERYONE, nor should that be vilified! ONE DOES NOT NEED TO HAVE CHILDREN TO BE HAPPY! CHILDREN DO NOT EQUAL HAPPINESS FOR EVERYONE! THIS IS OKAY! All that being said, if Gale were real, and appeared in my bedroom right this very fucking minute, I would DUST OFF THE COBWEBS of my failing reproductive system if he so much as gave me the puppy eyes. (yes, I'm pathetic. leave me to my delusions, thank you). But, if he said 'babe, bestie...Mira my beloved, let's go on an adventure because kids are eww' YES MY SWEET MALEWIFE I will abandon all reason and logic and go to the ends of the earth with you.
But also, y'all??? Gale is a fictional character, and I am of the belief that the conversation we ALL know we are thinking of was INTENTIONALLY left open-ended for our head canons to happily chew on. It's that simple. Leave people alone to enjoy the characters in the way they fucking desire. Canon or not. Who tf cares. If you don't like it? Shrug your damn shoulders, take a GODS DAMN BREATH, and SCROLL ON.
And OP, I am so sorry you have been made to feel like they way you interact with Gale has to be pushed aside for other people's comfort.
PLEASE, please, share more. I know I speak for others when I say we want to see more queer and/or childfree Gale content. I have seen so many in this fandom express their sadness that they don't feel represented. That's not ok. If childfree and queer Gale content brings you joy, please share it. Share your joy. tell the world why he means so much to you. This random ass noob of a tumblr user wants to see you happy.
So I am going to make a post about it because despite my best attempts I still get some very aggressively worded posts about dad!Gale stuff on my timeline I truly don't believe that people who maintain Gale's stance as childfree as having canonical proof are inherently trying to put down or threaten those who have dad!Gale headcanons. Speaking as a minority in this fandom, as a gay man, and also as someone who is infertile I have found a lot of resonance and affirmation through the character of Gale and so I find personal enjoyment and empowerment to help deal with a homophobic and cishet normative world that pushes the idea of having children as a necessity for love and happiness by maintaining that my Tav's and Gale are childfree. I don't have any issue with anyone who loves the dad!Gale headcanon, go wild and free with it but people who are finding affirmation, joy, and fulfillment from him being childfree are just simply not a threat to your personal headcanon and tbh I often feel very guilty posting some of my headcanons and posts that are both explicitly queer about Gale and also about this childfree stuff because of how aggressive some posts are against Gale being childfree
I just also wanna say there's no less love or fulfillment for people that are childfree and that Gale can be equally as happy with or without children and that if anyone is bullying anyone for either of this then they need to go outside and touch grass. I am just simply asking the fandom to consider being a little more inclusive of different perspectives and people, especially to queer people who love Gale who can often feel pretty left out
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puppyeared · 6 months ago
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i feel like im not making any sense but does anyone else feel like there are stories that let u run with them and ones that spell everything out for you
#im reading that post that says artists are directors of audience reaction and not its dictator:#'you cannot guarantee that everyone viewing your work will react as you are trying t make them react. a good artist knows that this is what#allows work to breath. by definition you cannot have art where the viewer brings nothing to the table ... this is why you have to let go of#the urge to plainly state in text exactly how you think the work should be interpreted ... its better to be misinterpreted sometimes than#to talk down to your audience. you wont even gain any control that way; people will still develop their opinions no matter what you do#im thinking abt this again cuz i was thinking maybe the thing that lets adventure time work so well the way it does is cuz it doesnt#take itself too seriously that it gives the audience enough room to fuck with subtext and then fuck with them back yknow. i think it was#mentioned somewhere that they werent even planning to run with the postapocalyptic elements that are hinted in the show but changed their#mind after the one off with the frozen businessmen and dominoed into marcy and simons backstory. on the other side there are stories that#explain too much to let the story speak for itself and i think it ends up having to do more with the crew trying to lead ppl in a certain#direction than expand on what they have and i see a lot of this with miraculous. like when interviews and tweets are used as word of god in#arguments and it becomes a little stifling to play around with it knowing the creator can just interject. u can say its the crews effort to#engage with its audience but it feels more like micromanaging. and none of this is to say there ISNT room for stories that spell things out#theyre just suited for different things. if sesame street tried abstract approaches to themes and nuance itd be counterproductive#a lot of things fly over my head so i need help picking things apart to get it- but it doesnt have to be from the story itself. ive picked#picked up or built on my own interpretations listening to other ppl share their thoughts which creates conversation around the same thing#sometimes stories will spell things out for you without being so obvious abt it that it feels like its woven into the text. my fav example#for this might be ATLA using younger characters as its main cast but instead of feeling like its dumbed down for kids to understand why war#is bad its framed from a childs point of view so younger audiences can pick up on it by relating to the characters. maybe an 8 year old#wont get how geopolitics works but at least they get 'hey the world is a little more complicated than everyone vs. fire nation'. same for#steven universe bc its like theyre trying to describe and put feelings into words that kids might not have so they have smth to start with#especially with the metaphors around relationships bc even if it looks unfamiliar as a kid now maybe the hope is for it to be smth you can#look back to. thats why it feels like these shows grew up with me.. instead of saving difficult topics for 'when im ready for it'#as if its preparing me for high school it gave me smth to turn in my hands and revisit again and again as i grow. stories that never#treated u as dumb all along. just someone who could learn and come back to it as many times as u need to. i loved SU for the longest time#but i felt guilty for enjoying it hearing the way ppl bash it. bc i was a kid and thought other ppl understood it better than me and made#feel bad for leaning into the message of paying forward kindness and not questioning why steven didnt punish the diamonds or hold them#accountable. but im rewatching it now and going oh. i still love this show and what it was trying to teach me#yapping#diary
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berryblu-soda · 8 months ago
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local silly goofer was seething with rage and dumped it all in the tags, read at your own risk :3 <- personal stuff, wrote this after the tags, pretty okay now, just got it out of my system, love yall <3<3<3
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yappacadaver · 5 months ago
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the absolute fucking speed with which he hangs his head when rebecca's like "pfft normal. right."
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kraviolis · 2 years ago
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as i get older and continue to exist online i cant help but question why so many adults got into arguments with me over fandom bullshit when i was a teenager, and yet i also completely understand why they did.
#teenagers are so dumb godbless. and i dont mean intellectually. they can be pretty smart but all of them have -20 wisdom#i had to delete tiktok to prevent myself from continuing to argue with 14 year olds in the comments#bcus as an adult i really shouldnt but theyre so. GAH#here's the argument that was the final straw for me:#child: *the wildest and stupidest interpretation of a fictional media ive ever seen*#me: actually *explains the actual story and intention of the creator*#child: where does it say that#me: it doesnt say it explicitly but if you just look at the subtext and use media literacy its incredibly obvious#child: What Episode Does It Say That#it was that point i checked their profile and saw that theyre 14 and immediately deleted the app#how can i in good faith gonna argue about subtext with someone who probably hasnt even read of mice and men. or fucking romeo and juliet#im not gonna let myself stoop so low. im fucking 21 years old#but oh my god. the way that they talk down at you as if they arent currently in a developmental stage thats basically the sequel to toddler#infuriating.#and i was just as bad as a teenager i know for a fact i was because i was deep in the tumblr discourse trenches as a 14 y/o#i made the worst decisions as a 14 y/o#and i cant even just sit back and try to explain to a teen why i cant take them seriously bcus theyre just gonna get mad#and i cant even blame them bcus its not their fault!!! theyre literally just going through their terrible twos again!!!#oh my god. im so sorry to all the people who had to deal with me when i was a teenager#krav talks
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here-there-were-dragons · 6 months ago
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and god help you if you're not binary trans and then god DOUBLE help you if you're not nb "the right way" aka "so basically i'm a third binary gender that looks exactly half way between girl and boy also i'm completely 100% human and 100% desire to be human and only human and just as invested in picking Gender Team to be on as everyone else because we all know the only thing that exists or matters in the universe is baseball and exactly what baseball team role you define your existence by permanently without ever even considering anything else right?"
the Trans Experience in our society is being treated like schrodinger's gender. you're a woman when they wanna deny you agency and a man when they wanna deny you support. this is an experience that unites nearly all of us, whether transmasc, transfem, or something else.
#most people even in queer spaces don't even believe you exist then. at best you get treated like woman lite#(but only if you were considered female originally. if not then you get treated like “disguised man(derogatory)”#even by people who otherwise aren't fond of terfs)#and good fucking luck trying to explain any relationship with identity stranger/more complicated/GOD FORBID more distant#than the afformentioned 'i'm the third binary gender'#without *every single* other Not Straight/Cis person on earth IMMEDIATELY deciding on some level that you're just a narcissistic cis poser#and if you're very lucky they will be polite enough not to say so to your face immediately upon every interaction#but will still continue to treat all of your opinions and inclusion under their umbrella as a polite afterthought the existence of which#is entirely dependent on you never actually saying anything or having any opinions or needs/wants in general#and never attempting to actually *use* any of that Queer “Community” Cred or expect to have like. voting rights within said “community”#well allow you to pretend you're one of us so long as you sit down shut up and don't expect us to ever actually give you a club creditcard#purely for our own convenience of course. but when the chips are down you'll be our meatshield and we expect you to thank us#for even allowing you to be that much in our presence#and xenogenders? voidpunk? even the most basic types of multigender/fluid? god for your own safety just fucking forget about it.#half the lgbtqa+ population will consider your very existence personally offensive enough to actively want to explode you with their mind#and the other half will condescendingly pat you on the head and assume you're a furry and/or that you're only like this because autism#as if it's any of their damn business#and the good old universal fallback “anyone who likes/thinks/feels a thing i think is weird can only possibly be doing it because fetish”#i still rememebr years ago when people were clamoring for a trans npc on flight rising but ignoring that scribbles was right there#because scribbles is they/them nonbinary so they “don't count”#people still don't count them last i saw#in the same breath they were insisting galore (a cis man character to my knowledge) absolutely HAD to be trans because#“the shape of his eyesockets looks too female” which is uncomfortably reminiscent of just straight up terf bone structure arguments
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hershelwidget · 6 months ago
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working on so many projects
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tag yourself i'm "swap auuu"
#grim guys night has two scrapped versions already and frankly i'm losong it it's genuinely the hardest to figure out#cause see. the grim GIRLS. they All Get Along (relatively)#dashi lillian and viktor are all Chill with each other. they all chill with lamia (one of them is dating her so like. come on)#they're all Decent with theatre. lillian has a Very Specific connection to him and viktor has something similar but dashi and lamia know#Fuck All about him and his past so they don't ask questions yk#MEANWHILE. lars out here being darwin's MURDERER and natquik being the Weirdest and Most Offputting Old Man to ever Offputting Old Man#natquik is actually chill and a good guy don't get me wrong but it's his vibes. nearly nobody but like. dashi and philliam. actually know i#philliam's like their Boss too and as friendly as he is there's always going to be that Gap in authority that makes it weird at best#not to mention whatever darwin has going on with. everything. none of the grims really respect him like. at all. he's the Outcast#I did at some point put theatre in with them but then I Remembered and he was the ONE PERSON who really made sense other than Dashi#but dashi was obviously occupied with The Girls so here we are. I might head back to Lars.#grim guys night more like grim Holy Shit These Men Are So Uncomfortable With Each Other#my best argument for having lars instead of philliam is that natquik and lars Sort of get along ??#like they were among the first grims and they were often left alone at the manor and they share common traits and similar linking people#darwin and lars being. victim and murderer is faucijn wild though so i suppose natquik is just. the buffer. the wall. he keeps lars out of#darwin's line of sight or something#this one is the hardest from a logic standpoint ... these three guys would NOT hang out alone but this is the prompt and i can't stray from#it. yeah the art itself is pretty easy !! and fun actually !! but My God. The Canon.#also philliam is kind of out of the question because the whole idea is that everyone is On Break.#being On Break WITH your boss just doesn't. sit right.#yeah in some circumstances it kind of works but in THEIR profession?? they need time AWAY from him i am so sorry
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confusedsiewmai · 6 months ago
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#vent#negativity#i wish i was less bitter and full of hate and anger and frustration#i wish i never felt angry at all#i wish i can never raise my voice#i wish i can notice when im raising my voice and scaring ppl#i wish i had more self awareness to realise that im being mean and judgemental and scary#i wish i werent argumentative and stubborn#i wish i can go back to when i was 16 and genuinely thought i was a bad person and therefore every bad thing i do is just status quo#im so sick and tired of trying to improve as a person because i honestly feel like im getting worse and it makes me so scared knowing that#at least if i were sure of being a bad person again i wont feel this much anxiety and hurt over accidentally being a dick#god i wish i were still convinced i were a bad person then at least id think killing myself would actually solve things#idk anymore im just so sick and tired of being a human being who just wants to be loved but never feels loved because of learned self hatred#or at least i think its learned. if im just misinterpreting things then welp lollllllll i guess im just meant to hate myself then#im so sick and tired of being scared and waiting for the moment when people would just.... reject me completely and disown me#why do i have this fear since i was fucking 8 what fucking world is this that at 8 years old i was this fucking scared of being disowned#now im just waiting for my friends and the guy im currently talking to to just......... fucking stab me or some shit idk
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okcoolthanks · 8 months ago
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How to stop feeling like an awful person after accidentally crossing someone’s boundary even though you talked to them about it and apologized and know you won’t do it again and they understood it was an accident and it’s fine and you two are still on good terms
#god I just#Ughhghhg#I can’t stop THINKING about it it wasn’t even that bad they said i was doing a bit and it was getting annoying#and I said i was sorry like multiple times and I said I won’t do that but again and they were like ‘no you can! it just got a little annoyi#ng it’s fine!’ and I still feel like a terrible person#I think I’m tired that’s gotta be it#or I’m mentally going through what I went through with my old friends and how I got mad at them and lashed out when I shouldn’t have and#refused to apologize and got into a big argument and then had one conversation about it and got mad again and then lashed out AGAIN and then#texted that I didn’t want to be friends any more and then I cried for weeks and every time I’d see one of them I’d want to throw up and I wa#s constantly miserable I didn’t want to go to school and I did everything that I could ok the comic because it was a fun distraction but it#also made me sad because I wanted to finish it and show it to them but they weren’t ever actually interested in it and I never got to show#them and I even made two characters in it based on two of my best friends in that group at the time and now I don’t know if I should delete#them entirely or keep it or change the characters???????? I don’t know#fuck#oh yeah one of those best friends basically took the plot of HBD and changed it a little and is gonna make a fucking short film with it#it’s a stupid fucking plot too it’s one of those like coming of age stories where the main character wears a ghost sheet and it’s actually a#metaphore for being socially anxious because he has a bad home life but then! then he’s walking to class and someone steps on the sheet and#it comes off! and they become best friends and they work through their problems!#Jesus fucking Christ I can’t believe her#I told her it was similar and that she should change it but we were gonna discuss that the week I texted I wasn’t coming back so#If she makes it I’m gonna sue her I don’t fucking care I told her I fucking told her and later that fucking day she ‘came up with it on her#own’ fucking Christ man get a life#I need to stop typing and go to sleep idk why I did that#sorry for the rant!
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lilgynt · 8 months ago
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i hate when my mom is like i’m not one of ur little friends no bc they wouldn’t be my friend the way ur acting this is only happening BC ur my mother
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introspectivememories · 1 year ago
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unrequited tddk is about the emotional infidelity. and i know what you're thinking, "oh from shouto's end right? cause he's can't ever get over izuku and it bleeds into every single romantic relationship he has?" no!!! from izuku's end. izuku who is very much not in love with shouto but can't seem to stop the weird Closeness that they have. izuku sitting in shouto's lap even though he has a boyfriend. izuku staying up all night with shouto bc shoucchan just gets it guys!! we understand each other. izuku getting sick and the one thing he asks for is shouto much to the chagrin of his boyfriend. izuku who remains willfully oblivious to the situation because if he acknowledges it then he'll have to let shouto go and that is the one thing he cannot do. izuku who wasn't loved by his peers growing up and now that he has someone who Gets him like nobody else, he's not letting go.
#100% izk is mean like this#you don't understand#this is like the first fic idea i ever really sat down to write#like years ago#and i did write parts of it but i could never get it to come out the way i wanted it to#so now im turning it over to y'all#anyway in my story the boyfriend is bakugo#and bakugo fucking hates how close they are. like truly despises it but he can't even say anything cause izk refuses to acknowledge it#and like “ffs izuku can you let that poor man go? it hurts just watching him pine over you”#and like i dont think sho is the kind of person who can be friends with someone who rejected him#so i think that when izk starts dating bkg he initially lives in a state of denial for like a year until ocha talks some sense into him#and then he picks up like an overseas hero placement and drops all contact with izk#bc he loves izk but he cannnot watch izk be happy with someone else#and maybe that makes him selfish but why does he always have to be the selfless one? let him be selfish this once#and izk spends like the next 5 years with a hole in his heart#but sho is Thriving overseas without the added angst of izk draping himself all over sho.#until one night izk shows up at sho's apt. turns out that izk was doing an overseas mission and asked for sho's address under the guise of#being an old school friend. and sho reluctantly lets izk in cause it's cold outside and by god he has never been able to deny izk anything#and then they have a massive blowout argument.#why did you leave? / are you fucking serious? like you weren't two-timing bkg with the way you used to sit in my lap#wth are you talking about? / izuku! you do not get to have both of us! either you pick me or you pick him. and judging by that ring you#picked him. / i am not kind like you izuku. if you picked him i don't want anything to do with it. i don't want to be there for it#anyway#tododeku#tddk#todoroki shouto#midoriya izuku#bnha
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yokelfelonking · 1 year ago
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Post 9/11 Trivia
Most folks on this site were either children on September 11, 2001, or weren’t even born yet.  But America went crazy for about a year afterwards.  Here’s some highlights that I remember that might not be in your history books:
There was national discussion on whether or not Halloween should be canceled because…fuck if I know why.  After planes crashed into buildings in NYC it follows that 6-year-olds in Iowa shouldn’t be allowed to dress up like Batman and ask their neighbors for candy, I guess.  (Halloween wasn’t canceled, by the way.)
On a similar note, people asked if comedy - any sort of comedy - was appropriate anymore, ever.
People sold shitty parachutes to suckers “in case your building gets attacked and you have to jump out the window.” There were honest-to-God news reports warning people not to jump out of the window with shitty mail-order parachutes because they wouldn't work.
As a follow-up to the attacks, someone mailed anthrax to some prominent politicians and news anchors - you know, famous people - along with some badly-written notes about “you cannot stop us, death to America, Allah is good” and after that every time some random dumbass found a package in the mail they didn’t recognize they thought that the terrorists were targeting them, too.
Everyone was similarly convinced that their town was going to be the next target, even if they were a little town in the middle of nowhere. "Our town of Bumblefuck, South Dakota (population 690) has the largest styrofoam pig statue west of the Mississippi! Terrorists might fly planes into that too! It's a prime target!"
People started taping up their windows and trying to make their houses or apartments airtight out of fear of chemical and biological attacks. There were news reports warning people that turning your house into an airtight box was a bad idea because, y'know, you need air to breathe.
"[X] supports terrorism!" and “if we do [X], the terrorists win!” were used as arguments for everything.  "Some rich Arab you never heard of donated to his organization that backs Hamas which backs al-Queda, and also owns stock in a holding company that has partial ownership of the Pringles company, so if you eat Pringles you're supporting terrorism!" "The terrorists want to tear down our freedoms and our way of life and rule us through fear! Eating what you want is one of our freedoms as Americans! If you're afraid to eat Pringles, the terrorists win!" (I promise you that this sort of argument is in no way hyperbole.) (This argument is how Halloween was saved, by the way.  “If we cancel Halloween, the terrorists win!”)
People worked 9/11 into everything, and I mean everything, whether it was appropriate or not.  If you went to the grocery store the tortilla chips would remind you to support the troops on the packaging. Used car sales would be dedicated to our brave first responders. You couldn't wipe your ass without the toilet paper rolls reminding you to never forget the fallen of 9/11, and again, this is not hyperbole. My uncle, who lived in Ohio and had never been to New York except to visit once in the 70′s, died of a stroke about 8 months after 9/11, and the priest brought up the attacks at the eulogy.
On a similar local note, on the day of 9/11, after the towers went down, gas stations in my home town immediately jacked up gas prices.  The mayor had the cops go around and force them to take them back down.  I doubt any of that was legal.
Before 9/11, Christianity in America - and religion in general - was on a downward swing, with reddit-tier atheism on the upswing. Religion was outdated superstition from a bygone age. The day after 9/11? Every single church was PACKED. (This wasn't a bad thing, but the power-hungry on the Evangelical Right saw this as a golden opportunity to grab power and influence.)
EDIT: By Popular Demand - Freedom Fries. I initially left these off because they came a couple years after the initial panic and most people thought they were kind of absurd (and I don't recall anyone really going along with it other than maybe some local diners here and there). France didn't want to get involved in our world policing so some folks were like "TRAITORS!" and wanted to call french fries "Freedom Fries" instead, so as to stick it to the French.
Besides dumb shit like that…it’s really hard to overstate how completely the national mood and character changed in the span of a day, or how much of the current culture war is a result of the aftermath. (9/11 was the impetus for the sharp rise in power of the Evangelical Right, who made themselves utterly odious and the following backlash helped the rise of the current Progressive Left, for instance.)
And if all of this seems batshit...well, it was. But I want you to think for a moment how people react today over even trivial shit. People send death threats over children's cartoons. They call for blood if the maker of a video game had an opinion they don't like. If someone made a racist joke a decade ago when they were a teenage edgelord, folks will go after people who even associate with them. "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND ALL THE HARM THEY'RE DOING!?"
Now take that same level of over-the-top histrionics and apply it to the unprecedented event of passenger planes crashing into crowded buildings in America's most populous city and killing thousands of people all at once. "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THAT WE WERE ATTACKED!?"
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vatelixx · 12 days ago
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The enormity of my desire (disgusts me),
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Very very early seasons (1 — start of 2) Spencer Reid x afab!BAU!reader
SMUT!! (and fluff, some angst in relation to Spencer’s past because it can never be too happy, we’re not allowed nice things here). first times & explorations of intimacy.
──── autistic spencer (it’s a central theme to the plot), reader is actually morally good (for once).
Warnings: sub spencer (what did u even expect?), heavy corruption kink, first time for Spencer (all i do is sit around and think about how i’d like to devirgin that genius), HEAAVY praise kink, very very inexperienced Spencer, slight? oral fixation, they’re both just rlly down bad (i told u i would write something light, i delivered), Reader is whipped, Spencer is sooo much worse. Biblical references, Religious imagery, i think i talk about math equations???? And random metaphors/complexes.
w.c: 4k
a/n: i rlly wanted to explore aspects of spencer that criminal minds swept under the rug (cough cough his undiagnosed autism, cough cough his social exclusion, cough cough his crippling fear of forever being alone). Next upload will prob be heavy angst/no smut post-prison spencer (god help me please, i must be a masochist for the way i make myself suffer)
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There’s a lot Spencer hasn’t done.
He knows he’s behind, that he never quite caught up when it came to the taboo of sex and intimacy. Everything, everything, he’s ever had has been centred around exclusion, alienation, he feels like he’s lived on pause. Frozen, never advancing, stuck on ‘go’. Touch isn’t easy for him, interpersonal relationships are worse. He’s different, god he’s heard that his entire life. ‘You’re not weird, you’re just… different’, but maybe he is weird. Maybe his whole existence is just one big cosmic fuck you, because he’s missed out on so much, so much that he can’t understand, comprehend, act out against. Falling behind; this is the only area of life where he continuously comes up short, inexperienced, naive, he’s not used to being incompetent.
He’s never experienced want the way others do. He could never just hook up, fall into the body of another, expose them to the vulnerable elements of his stature. Open himself up to scrutiny. He might be a genius, he might be intellectually advanced, accepted into a multitude of ivy leagues before he was old enough to vote, but there’s drawbacks to his success. Social awkwardness, an inability to blend, mould, be one of the crowd. Sometimes he wishes he was average, something grey and mundane, so far reduced from the person he is now— it would all be plainly simple.
But he’s not, he’s not. So, this is the weight he has to bare for the brain he never asked for.
Pyrrhic victory, he’ll always be renowned for his intelligence. ‘You’re going to change the world kid,’ maybe, but simultaneously, he’ll never get to experience said world. There’s a chance he’ll always be on the outside, watching normal people gravitate towards each other. Live dreary lives of domesticated simplicity. Stacked bills, arguments over money and parenting techniques. Going to bed angry, only to turn around, mid-night, and resolve it, to not sleep on bad blood. To take them off the couch, to settle into predestined sides of the mattress.
There’s not enough possessions in the world he’d sacrifice just to experience love.
Hedgehog dilemma, the challenges of human intimacy. The hedgehogs want to move closer, to preserve heat during cold. But, they are forced, biologically cursed to remain apart, in order to prevent themselves from harming each other. Spencer doesn’t want to be hurt, to hurt, it’s a morbid byproduct of his upbringing; all he ever endured was mockery.
He thought he’d never get to experience the physical, carnal aspects of existence. And sure, he made peace with the notion, accepted the consequences of being born atypical. Learnt to live without.
But then, oh then there was you. Pretty, intellectual you who quite literally tipped his world on it’s axis. Upheaved the most stable of routines. New to the BAU, he wanted you to last. To stay around, endure the worst of the job. If only for his selfish benefit of orbiting in your presence.
He remembers how it all started: Detroit, another case, more budget cuts, forced proximity that sent you spiralling into a shared bed for the night.
“You’re my favourite person in the team.” you admitted, “And I know that’s dumb, because we’ve spoken the least, but… you’re just, so you. That’s a good thing by the way, a really really good thing.”
He couldn’t quite believe you were talking about him. Spencer, who spilt coffee, and slipped into ceaseless tangents about obscure information. Spencer, who walked into walls when you were around, stumbling over his sentences before deftly, very astutely, giving up, walking away mid-conversation. He wore sweater-vests and colourful mismatched socks, it’s not like he was going to be crowned ‘white boy of the month’.
“Not dumb.” Spencer had responded, shifting closer to tangle further into the warm mess of this accidental situation. “That’s good. I like being me.” he mumbled. “Sometimes…. sometimes it sucks. But that’s okay. I think it’s okay?”
He moved to press his face into the crook of your neck, but you were faster, gathering him by tousled hair, forcing him to look you in the eye.
Oh.
“Please. Please.” he whispered, breaking apart, fracturing, “Please like me. And more than in a weird, ‘just friends or coworkers’ way.”
You did. You do. He should’ve kissed you then, but maybe he was scared, maybe he couldn’t quite discern his feelings, separate the logic from the emotional. So he waited, waited, waited until now. Your third date, you take him to an exhibition within a science centre: replica models of the solar system, filling rooms up, papier-mâché sculptures illuminated by light.
Best date ever. You listen, even when he’s rambling about planets, when he’s pointing out that yes, Jupiter’s density is less than water. That, technically, it would float in a bathtub, if one was built to accommodate its size. You don’t care that he’s not exactly the staple-piece for conventionally attractive males. That he’s nerdish, and awkward, and so so inexperienced when it comes to this.
In his apartment, later, much later, he looks at you, looks at you like you’re the one who just solved the fucking Riemann hypothesis.
“What do you want the most? Like,… if you could ask for one thing.” you say, and god, Spencer loves when you pose these deep, hypothetical questions. When you make him think, because you, you are the biggest challenge to his intellect yet.
You. He wants to say. But he settles for ‘Being remembered,’ instead. He works to untangle layers of fabric, your scarf, your jacket, letting out an exasperated laugh when he meets your amused gaze. “Right now though? I think I’d settle for kissing you.”
You cup his jaw, tracing your fingers along the sharp curve, and god he has perfect anatomy. “Settle huh? You should be more appreciative.”
He leans forward to press a chaste kiss against your lips. Drawing away for a moment, just to return because he’s never had this before. Because for the first time in his life, he gets it. He gets physical attraction, even if it took time. He’s kissed, been kissed, yes. But he could count those moments on one hand, and if you asked how many he truly enjoyed, he’d be left with no fingers raised.
“Believe me, i’m very appreciative…”
This isn’t like before, what he felt in the past; he expected something monotone, flighty, a brief fleeting moment of satisfaction. Means to an end. No, it’s actually the best thing he’s ever experienced, and he’s going to become so insufferable after this, because he’s just found out he is very very into kissing.
Correction: he’s very into kissing you.
In the moment between parting, and touching again, he assumes you to be divinity personified. Spencer has never been religious, but something of this magnitude should be canonised. He wants to ask you. Ask you when you became this beautiful. When you became the person he needs to kiss a second time, kiss a third time, kiss until his lips go numb.
A shaky inhale, a pause. “I hope… I hope that it was okay - I mean, it was good for me. Really, really good. Um—“ to be honest, he’s just glad he didn’t say thankyou.
“Yeah, Spence. That was… wow.” you draw your bottom lip between teeth, press into tissued flesh. Jesus Christ. “Wanna try again?”
Yes yes yes yes. He looks at you, pupils blown obscenely out of proportion. Part of him wants to say, ‘why didn’t we do this sooner?’ But that’s not fair; he’s only ready now. Now that he feels, now that he might be a little in love with you.
“Please,” is his answer, and then he’s catching your face in the palms of his hand, tugging your lips back to his, because admittedly, they have ached in the long, extensive period you were apart (53 seconds).
This time it deepens and Spencer sees stars. It’s an astronomical phenomenon, something interstellar— and god, he’s relating kissing to space. They should just tape the word ‘virgin’ to his back and call it a day.
There’s soft little breathy sighs escaping his mouth now, bleeding into yours. And yeah, spontaneous combustion might be a real threat. Actually no, it would hardly be spontaneous; there’s a clear, clear cause, and it just so happens to be your ruinous lips.
This is an entirely new facet of the human experience. The kiss is electric; he’s always been partial toward physics, and right now his veins carry an alternating current.
You know, he could probably write a thesis based on this.
You both stumble back back back until he’s hitting a wall, and yes, thankyou. He’s making all sorts of sounds he can’t justify, and it’s a supernova, an infinite black pool of— oh, he thinks he might die, ascend, transcend, when you press your thumb against his chin, hold your lips at just a little slant from his. Force him to wait there.
“Please,” he’s never been above begging. A worthy sacrifice, one he’ll certainly repeat again because you return to the kiss, and the world around him dissolves.
You’ve got one hand tangled in his hair. Tousled auburn, fingers sinking into strands, pushing all the way down to the root. The other is still cupping his face, keeping him close, keeping him selfishly close actually.
“Spence,” you murmur. And yes. Yes. He likes that. The way his name sounds rolling off your tongue, like it was destined to be there. Like he was destined to be yours.
His world is ending. So is yours. Fuck it, he presses himself against your thigh, and ohmygodohmygod. He’s being loud, he’s actually being so criminally loud right now because apparently he’s the most whorish virgin to ever exist.
“I lied, I lied,” he admits between messy kisses, “When you asked what I wanted the most? It’s not to be remembered, well it is, its on the list. But—“ he groans, kisses you again because talking interrupts matters that are more important. Like your lips.
“I wanna cum.”
Eloquent.
Spencer Reid being dirty? Oh, it’s hot, it’s so hot to reduce someone to such an obscene state. To reduce him, the boyish fumbling nerd (who just so happens to be the most beautiful person in existence) to such a degrading mess.
Still, there’s shock. Not because he said it (you greatly appreciate the indecent things falling from those pretty lips right now), but because—
“You’ve never? Haven’t even experienced it once? By yourself?”
He should be embarrassed, but his lips are red, his eyes are glassy, and the bulge in his pants is straining to be touched. “Never,” he sighs shakilly. “Never, and i’m— i’m starting to understand why it’s so popular.”
He whimpers, pushes himself against your thigh, because the friction, yes. “Is that weird? Please don’t think i’m weird. Because I’m really, really weird. Just maybe… not in that way?”
It’s never been enough. His body sometimes feels numb to the touch, and yet still so very overstimulated. Like he manually blocks himself from feeling, already prepared for the flinch. How does he explain that life hasn’t been kind to him? That he hates his body because of what people made it out to be when he was a child. Stripping him naked, tying him to a goalpost, always the underdog. The one to be targeted, tormented.
“It’s actually kinda hot,” you interrupt his thoughts, and just because you’re evil, corrupt, the worst, you press your thigh harder against his clothed cock, palm covering his mouth when a plethora of whiny sounds escape his mouth.
It’s performative, really. Alone in his apartment, there’s no need for noise control. So when your thumb slips between parted, swollen lips, he knows to suck. The average human hand has between 10,000 and 10 million bacteria, and Spencer does not actually give a fuck anymore.
“To think that you’ve never even felt what it’s like. That you’re gonna feel it with me for the first time. I get to see that shit— god, you’re going to look so fucking pretty for me.”
You draw your thumb out of his mouth, and he has the audacity to whine.
He’s never wanted anything more in his entire life. It’s all tertiary now. Only this matters.
“Please don’t praise me—“ he protests, “I’ll probably finish in my pants.”
“Praise kink, noted.”
You laugh, and he can only groan, curse existence for being this cruel to his overworked, undervalued body. “Don’t— don’t laugh. You’re not supposed to laugh, that can heighten performance anxiety. Increase insecurity, and…” he sighs, “You do not care. Sadistic tendencies, noted.”
“Shut up. Wanna see you.” you say, and he’s just muttering breathless mhm’s, too delirious to function; his body is betraying the last iota of self-control like the little whore it apparently is.
His sweater comes off first, then his top. Discarded fabric, his raised arms when you mutter a candid ‘up’, giving way to exposed skin. In response? Your pupils dilate. Spencer knows because he’s analysing, profiling. If you hate him like this, he’s fairly certain he’ll drag himself into a self-dug early grave. He wishes he was being melodramatic. That your approval didn’t have such a substantial impact on his carefully-constructed ego. But, oh, it does. It does.
Thin, with a long, defined torso, he blushes, rose blemished skin, when your hands drag across his stomach. He’d love to say he reacts sanely, suavely. Urbane to your touch. But that would be a total, discreditable lie. Instead, his back arches, seeking contact, following the path of your fingertips with pitiful desperation. He feels malleable, willing to bend and contort, if only to feel more.
“How can you not think you’re pretty, Spence?” His pants are gone next, then his stained boxers, fabric borderline sheer now, soaked through with pre-cum.
Spencer feels betrayed. His body never responds, not to his own hands, not to his own thoughts. And yet, the moment you’re on him, he’s a live-wire. It’s sick, heinous, double-crossing. Maybe it’s purposeful, done just to spite him. Figures.
“Holy shit, look at you. Look at how perfect you are.” Spencer wants to object, because he distinctly told you not to praise him. However,.. right now, the lights are on but nobody is home. Brain-death, he’s certainly in a vegetative state.
“Ohmygodohmygod,” he whimpers, because no amount of knowledge about human anatomy and physiology could prepare him for how he feels under your touch. No amount of education in the psychology of relationships could inform him of how viscerally wrong the way you look at him feels.
Because it’s not wrong, not all. It’s the most right he’s ever felt, and he’ll tell you that if you’ll just keep it up.
The sounds he’s making are phonographic, lewd, you’ve given up on trying to stifle them now. Where have you been hiding? Your eyes fall, and he wants to blush away from the exhibiting gaze, but he’s just…. too far gone; the thought of your touch outweighs any previous reticence. Then, oh then, you drop to your knees, and shit. He expected your thigh, maybe your hand if he was lucky, not—
This. Your mouth, your tongue, your pretty lips; god, god, is this a sin? Because if it is, he’ll take it.
“Please,” he whines, and he can’t look anymore because the sight alone is going to send him over the edge. He’s gripping the wall, scrambling scrambling for purchase, because he’s trying not to grip you, but how exactly does he keep this respectful?
He’s pretty sure they’re past that, considering your mouth is currently wrapped around his cock, and he’s debauched.
You want this, you want him, he feels like he’s transcended humanity, like he’s become someone, anyone and anything, that deserves the way you’re taking him apart, piece by piece. In the aftermath, he hopes you don’t leave a single ounce of him intact.
“Wanna kiss you. Oh— oh oh,” he’s sobbing now, “Come back here. Miss your mouth— even if it’s,” he looks down and that’s a mistake. “Please.”
Of course it would be Spencer to disrupt the best (and admittedly only) head of his life because he needs you closer.
You oblige, raising from your knees, and Spencer thinks it might be sacrilegious. But then again, he feels religion in your touch so it can’t be too profane. Maybe? He’s not sure, he’s not sure and it doesn’t matter. Ethics and morality have long since disintegrated, sins are engrained into humankind. He almost wants to thank Eve for tearing into the apple, because it’s allowed this irreverence to occur.
Spencer blindly follows you through the apartment, stumbling and muttering until he can collapse against the bed. Baring his pretty neck as his head hits the bedframe. Tangled in sheets, draped over his lap, his deft fingers run across your waist, mapping out the structure of your frame. If only to remember, recite this act of blasphemy.
“Spence,” you whisper, and then his lips are crashing into yours, stealing breath, stealing sanity. He whimpers, murmurs a protest when you draw back, and you can only laugh. “Lets get you off, yeah? You wanna feel an orgasm, pretty boy?”
“Yes, yes please. That would uh— yes.” he’s not even sure how he’s conscious right now. His body, god his body, has endured more pleasure in the last hour than it has for the majority of his life. Your hands scathe, and Spencer is willing to indefinitely burn, if just to feel them one more time.
You only stop to take off your clothes, and surely there needs to be prep? To reaffirm, he knows anatomy, the correct procedure, how the transgression is supposed to occur. And yet, that’s from a clinical, objective mindset. Do this, do that, etc etc. Nothing works out like that in practice.
You’re so wet, panties stained through, he spares a moment to run his fingers across your thighs, hand slipping beneath fabric to graze your clit. The moan that follows has him distracted, thumb tracing circlets, over and over until you’re pulling back to return the balance. The balance, which admittedly is skewed, tipped scales, you’re on top. He falls to the weight of your influence.
And yeah, he’s more than fine with that. Jesus, you drag your panties down, down your thighs, your legs, then they’re reaching your ankles, pooling there for a moment before they’re being discarded, tossed somewhere on his floor — leaving behind a souvenir that yes, yes this happened.
“I can’t,” he says, burying his face into your shoulder when you take him. It’s slow, sinking onto his cock like every inch of warmth will destroy him. Maybe it will. Maybe he doesn’t care, because he deserves this. He deserves to feel after so much repression.
Or maybe, maybe he’s just become the biggest slut known to mankind. Likely.
Your body presses against his, and he thinks he’s going to disintegrate, because he feels so good. He understands now, he understands why people do this. Why it’s integral to the function of most. This is the best day of his life. This. Is. The. Best. Day. Of. His. Life.
There’s this noise, this pathetically loud whimper when you start to roll your hips— and oh your body is wet against him, and you’re so tight, and it’s perfect because he doesn’t have to do anything.
He can just sit here, look pretty, and cry.
He knows he’s a giver, that he’d bleed himself dry for you. It’s a curse, he supposes: so willing to bend backwards for the satisfaction of the people he trusts. But, this is foreign, and he wants to watch you, aimlessly stare, dumb and empty-headed as you wield his body like a weapon. Turn him into something perniciously yours.
Spencer has no reference for what an orgasm is supposed to feel like, and yeah, he’s really good at guessing in these type of situations. Because he’s rolling his thumb over your clit again, and he wants to draw it into his mouth, to see you laid out across bedsheets, writhing, unable to do anything but suffocate him with your thighs.
You clench around him, back arched, releasing a series of strained moans. With one hand tangled in his dishevelled hair, the other pressed against his chest, your face contorts, your body stiffens. There’s no way his incessant whimpering just got you off?
Okay. So you like him desperate. Point taken.
“Please— please, wanna cum. Wanna feel it so bad,” he’s slurring over his words, sentences punctured by devastating whimpers. And look at him, asking for permission, waiting even though his body has been teetering on the edge for so long now.
“Shh, shh..” you press your forehead against his, and he melts. Reoccurring theme. His hand grips your jaw, thumb pushed firmly against your chin, keeping you close. “You wanna cum for me, baby? Gonna give me your first?”
“Mhm— mhm…” is all he can say. When you pick up your pace, he has to burrow his face into the crook of your neck, whimpers messy and broken off, suppressed against your warm skin.
“Oh. Oh…” he repeats, again. Like there’s anything else he could utter, because this is earth-shattering.
It’s the sun, and all eight planets combined, and the universe collapsing in on itself, and he’s bucking, squirming, releasing into you, spilling deep.
He sobs. Breaks down. Because it’s so so good, and he can’t believe he ever deprived his body of this.
Neediest whore to ever exist, apparently.
It takes him a while to come back. Longer to regain motor function, to sink into present day. Life, and expectations, and everything, everything, your touch eradicated.
“Just… just stay like this?” he asks, collapsing against your body after he’s drawn out of you. There’s mess, evidence of your ministrations, but cleanliness seems futile when he’s blissed out, caught in a post-orgasmic haze that yes yes yes he needed so badly.
You card your hands through his hair, watch the way he stares up at you, large, widened eyes, chin resting against your chest. “Hi,” he mutters dumbly.
“Spence,” Spence, Spence, Spence. He could drown himself in that nickname.
“Yeah?” he breathes out.
“You we’re so good—“
He rolls away from you, finding a home for his face in the pillow. “Stop. Stop.” he groans, “Don’t do that. You’re going to destroy me. I’m not… equipped for this, for you. Someone should just sedate me, put me out of my misery, a coma sounds like—“
He tilts his head to the side, relinquishing, “Okay. Sorry. Meltdown over. Can we shower? Then maybe do this again? Which will make the shower inconsequential, I suppose. There’s a new documentary I want to watch, and oh, you still haven’t seen the third Star Wars—“
He’s happy, content, over the fucking moon, to be silenced with your lips. “Yeah,” he murmurs, hand interlocking with yours as you both fall back against the mattress, “Let’s do this again.”
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pucksandpower · 2 months ago
Text
Pride and Prejudice and Bullets
mafia boss!Max Verstappen x professor!Reader
Summary: your life is predictable — revolving around teaching about Jane Austen novels and grading term papers — and you like it that way … until an old classmate makes a sudden appearance that turns everything upside down
Warnings: minor character death
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The sharp rap at the door jolts you from your late-night reading. You glance at the clock — 2:37 AM. Who could it possibly be at this ungodly hour?
Cautiously, you approach the door, peering through the peephole. Your heart skips a beat. Is that ... no, it couldn’t be. But as you swing the door open, there he stands — the boy who vanished from your high school without a trace nearly a decade ago.
“Max?” You breathe, scarcely believing your eyes.
He doesn’t respond, just pushes past you into the apartment, one hand pressed firmly against his side. As he moves, you catch a glimpse of crimson seeping through his fingers, staining what looks like an absurdly expensive shirt.
“Jesus, Max, what happened to you?” You gasp, instinctively reaching out.
He flinches away from your touch, his eyes wild. “I hear you’re a doctor now. Do your doctor stuff,” Max barks the order at you, his voice rough with pain.
You blink, momentarily stunned. “I’m a doctor of British Literature! What are you even doing here? How do you know my address? Why are you here?”
“Needed a doctor, you’re a doctor,” he grunts, stumbling toward your couch.
The reality of the situation starts to sink in. “Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, I need to call an ambulance.”
“No,” Max snaps, his tone brooking no argument. “Don’t. Are you stupid? I’m here because I can’t go to a hospital.”
Your mind races, torn between concern and confusion. “Yes, right, fuck, I should call the cops. Why do you know my address?”
“Wound. Fix it,” he growls through gritted teeth.
“Yes! Wound. Uhhhh, take off your shirt?” You stammer, fumbling for your phone. “I need to Google this- oh my god that’s disgusting, oh fuck, is the bullet still in there?”
Max’s eyes narrow. “You really don’t know what you’re doing, do you?”
“Of course I don’t!” You exclaim, your voice rising in pitch. “I write papers on Jane Austen, not ... whatever this is!”
He groans, both from pain and exasperation. “Fine. First aid kit. You have one?”
You nod frantically, dashing to the bathroom. When you return, Max has managed to unbutton his shirt, revealing a nasty wound just below his ribs.
“Okay,” he says, his voice steadier now. “Antiseptic. Clean the wound.”
With shaking hands, you do as he instructs, trying not to gag at the sight of so much blood. “Max, please, what’s going on? How did this happen?”
He ignores your questions. “Tweezers. The bullet’s still in there. You need to get it out.”
“What? No! I can’t — I’ll hurt you!”
A humorless laugh escapes him. “Trust me, it already hurts. Just do it.”
Swallowing hard, you position the tweezers. Max’s hand shoots out, gripping your wrist. “Wait,” he says, fumbling in his pocket with his free hand. He produces a flask, takes a long swig, then nods. “Okay. Go.”
You take a deep breath and plunge in. Max’s entire body goes rigid, a string of curses flowing from his lips that would make a sailor blush. After what feels like an eternity, you feel the tweezers catch on something.
“I think I’ve got it,” you whisper.
“Then pull it out,” Max hisses.
With a sickening squelch, you extract the bullet. Max lets out a strangled groan, then goes limp.
“Max?” You say, panic rising in your throat. “Max!”
His eyes flutter open. “I’m fine. Just ... give me a minute.”
As you clean and dress the wound, a tense silence falls between you. Finally, unable to bear it any longer, you speak. “Max, please. What’s going on? I haven’t seen you in years, and now you show up at my door in the middle of the night with a bullet wound?”
He sighs, pushing himself up into a sitting position. “It’s ... complicated.”
“No shit,” you retort. “Start talking. Now.”
Max runs a hand through his hair, wincing at the movement. “After I left school, I got mixed up in some ... stuff. Bad stuff. It was supposed to be temporary, just a way to make some quick cash. But things ... escalated.”
“Escalated how?” You press.
He meets your gaze, his eyes hard. “You really want to know?”
You nod, not trusting yourself to speak.
“I run the Dutch Crime Syndicate now,” he says flatly.
You can’t help it — you laugh. It’s a high, slightly hysterical sound. “The Dutch Crime Syndicate? Are you serious? That sounds like something out of a bad movie.”
“Does this look like a joke to you?” Max gestures to his wound.
The laughter dies in your throat. “Oh god. You’re serious.”
He nods grimly. “Dead serious. And now you know why I couldn’t go to a hospital. Too many questions.”
“But ... why me?” You ask, still struggling to process this information. “We were barely even friends in school.”
Max shifts uncomfortably. “I ... kept tabs on people from back then. When I heard you’d become a doctor-”
“A doctor of literature,” you interject.
He rolls his eyes. “When I heard you had become a ‘doctor,’ I made a note of it. Just in case. Never thought I’d actually need to use that information, but ... here we are.”
You shake your head, trying to clear it. “This is insane. You’re insane. I should be calling the police right now.”
“But you won’t,” Max says quietly.
“And why’s that?”
He looks at you, really looks at you, for the first time since he arrived. “Because you’re curious. Because part of you, whether you want to admit it or not, is excited by this. By me showing up and shaking up your nice, safe, predictable life.”
You open your mouth to protest, then close it again. He’s not entirely wrong.
“So what happens now?” You ask instead.
Max shrugs, then immediately regrets it, judging by his wince. “Now, I rest for a bit, then I leave. And you go back to your life of Jane Austen and tea cozies.”
“That’s it?” You can’t keep the disappointment out of your voice.
He raises an eyebrow. “What were you expecting? That I’d sweep you off your feet and into a life of crime?”
“No, of course not,” you say quickly. Too quickly.
A slow smile spreads across Max’s face. “Well, well. Maybe there’s more to you than meets the eye, Y/N.”
You feel your cheeks heat up. “Shut up. You’re delirious from blood loss.”
“Maybe,” he concedes. “Or maybe I’m seeing clearly for the first time in years.”
There’s a charged moment of silence between you. Then Max groans, breaking the spell. “God, I sound like a bad romance novel. Must be the whiskey talking.”
You can’t help but laugh. “Well, you did show up bleeding on my doorstep in the middle of the night. It’s all very dramatic.”
“What can I say? I aim to please,” Max quips, then turns serious. “Look, Y/N ... thank you. For helping me. For not calling the cops. I know I don’t deserve it.”
“No, you probably don’t,” you agree. “But ... I’m glad you came. As crazy as this all is, it’s ... nice to see you again.”
Max’s expression softens. “Yeah. It’s nice to see you too.”
Another silence falls, but this one is comfortable, almost companionable. Finally, Max speaks again. “I should go. I’ve already put you in enough danger.”
“Wait,” you say, surprising yourself. “You’re in no condition to go anywhere. At least stay until morning.”
He hesitates, clearly torn. “I shouldn’t ...”
“Please,” you insist. “For my peace of mind, if nothing else.”
Max searches your face, then nods slowly. “Okay. But just until morning.”
As you help him settle more comfortably on the couch, you can’t shake the feeling that your life has just irrevocably changed. For better or worse remains to be seen, but one thing’s for certain — it’s going to be one hell of a ride.
***
The early morning sunlight filters through your curtains, rousing you from a fitful sleep. For a blissful moment, you forget the events of last night. Then reality comes crashing back, and you bolt upright in bed.
Max. The wound. The Dutch Crime Syndicate.
You groan, burying your face in your hands. What were you thinking? In the harsh light of day, the whole situation seems utterly insane.
Steeling yourself, you pad out to the living room. Max is still there, sprawled on your couch, his chest rising and falling steadily. He looks younger in sleep, almost vulnerable. It’s hard to reconcile this image with the hardened criminal he claims to be.
As if sensing your presence, Max’s eyes flutter open. He winces as he tries to sit up.
“Morning,” he grunts.
“How’s the wound?” You ask, your voice carefully neutral.
Max prods at his side gingerly. “Better than it has any right to be, thanks to you.”
You nod, then take a deep breath. “Max, about last night ...”
He holds up a hand, cutting you off. “I know what you’re going to say. And you’re right. This was a mistake. I shouldn’t have come here.”
“No, you shouldn’t have,” you agree, relief washing over you. “Look, I won’t tell anyone about this. But I think it’s best if we just ... pretend this never happened. You should go, and we should forget we ever saw each other again.”
Max nods slowly, his expression unreadable. “If that’s what you want.”
“It is,” you say firmly, trying to ignore the small part of you that’s screaming in protest.
He starts to gather his things, moving stiffly. You turn away, heading to the kitchen to make coffee, needing something to do with your hands.
That’s when you hear it. The sharp crack of a gunshot, followed by the tinkling of shattered glass.
You freeze, your heart pounding. “Max?” You call out, voice barely above a whisper.
“Get down!” He shouts back. You drop to the floor just as another bullet whizzes overhead, embedding itself in your kitchen cabinets.
Max is at your side in an instant, his earlier stiffness forgotten. “We need to move. Now.”
“What’s happening?” You ask, your voice shaking.
“Rivals,” Max says grimly. “They must have followed me here. I’m so sorry, Y/N. I never meant to put you in danger.”
Before you can respond, there’s a thunderous banging at your front door. “Open up!” A gruff voice shouts. “We know you’re in there, Max Emilian!”
Max’s face hardens. “The Silver Arrows,” he mutters. “Persistent bastards.”
“What do we do?” You whisper, panic threatening to overwhelm you.
Max’s eyes dart around the room, assessing. “Is there a fire escape?”
You nod. “Through the bedroom window.”
“Okay,” he says, his voice calm and authoritative. “Here’s what we’re going to do. We’re going to make a run for it. Stay low, stay behind me. Got it?”
You nod again, not trusting yourself to speak.
“On my count,” Max says. “Three ... two ... one ... GO!”
You scramble to your feet, keeping low as Max leads the way to your bedroom. The banging on the door intensifies, accompanied by the sound of splintering wood.
“They’re breaking through!” You gasp.
“Almost there,” Max says through gritted teeth. He throws open your bedroom window, then turns to you. “Ladies first.”
You hesitate for a split second, then clamber out onto the fire escape. The metal is cold beneath your bare feet, and you realize with a start that you’re still in your pajamas.
Max follows close behind, pulling the window shut just as you hear your front door give way.
“Down,” he hisses, guiding you towards the ladder.
You descend as quickly as you can, your hands shaking so badly you nearly lose your grip more than once. Max is right behind you, his presence oddly reassuring despite the circumstances.
As your feet hit the alley below, you hear shouts from above. “There they are!”
“Run!” Max yells, grabbing your hand and pulling you along.
You sprint down the alley, your bare feet slapping against the cold pavement. Bullets ping off the walls around you, and you let out an involuntary scream.
“Keep going,” Max urges. “There’s a car around the corner.”
“A car?” You pant. “How do you know?”
“I always have an exit strategy,” he says, a hint of pride in his voice despite the situation.
Sure enough, as you round the corner, you see a sleek black car idling at the curb. A man in a dark suit is behind the wheel, looking tense.
“Get in!” Max shouts, practically shoving you into the backseat before diving in after you.
The car peels away from the curb before Max even has the door closed. You’re thrown back against the seat as the driver weaves through traffic at breakneck speed.
“What the hell, Max?” You finally manage to say, your heart still racing. “Who were those people? Where are we going?”
Max runs a hand through his hair, looking more rattled than you’ve seen him yet. “Those were the Silver Arrows. They’ve been trying to muscle in on our territory for months. As for where we’re going ...” He exchanges a look with the driver in the rearview mirror. “Somewhere safe. For now.”
You let out a hysterical laugh. “Safe? I don’t even know what that word means anymore. My apartment just got shot up! I’m in my pajamas in the back of a strange car, running from a gang war. This is insane!”
“I know,” Max says softly. “And I’m sorry. This is exactly what I was trying to avoid by leaving last night.”
“Well, bang-up job on that one,” you snap.
The driver clears his throat. “Boss, we’ve got a tail. Two cars, about three blocks back.”
Max curses under his breath. “Can you lose them, Daniel?”
The driver — Daniel, apparently — nods grimly. “I can try. Hang on.”
The car suddenly swerves, cutting across three lanes of traffic. Horns blare as Daniel takes a sharp right turn, tires squealing.
You’re thrown against Max, who instinctively wraps an arm around you to keep you steady. Despite everything, you can’t help but notice how solid he feels, how good he smells ...
No. Focus. You shake your head, trying to clear it.
“Max,” you say, your voice steadier than you feel. “I need you to be straight with me. What exactly is going on here?”
He sighs, his arm still around you. “It’s complicated.”
“Un-complicate it,” you demand.
Max is quiet for a moment, seemingly weighing his words. “The Dutch Crime Syndicate ... we’re not just petty criminals. We’re big. International. And lately, we’ve been expanding our reach. The Silver Arrows don’t like that. They think we’re encroaching on their territory.”
“And are you?” You ask.
A ghost of a smile flits across Max’s face. “Maybe a little. But business is business, you know?”
You shake your head in disbelief. “I can’t believe I’m hearing this. You’re talking about illegal activities like it’s a corporate takeover!”
“In a way, it is,” Max says. “Just with higher stakes.”
“Boss,” Daniel interrupts. “I think we’ve lost them for now, but we can’t go to any of the safe houses. They might be compromised.”
Max nods. “Good thinking. Head for the marina. We’ll take the boat.”
“Boat?” You echo. “Max, I can’t just leave. My job, my life-”
“Your life will be over if the Silver Arrows find you,” Max says bluntly. “You’re involved now, whether you like it or not. I’m sorry, but there’s no going back.”
The gravity of the situation finally hits you. This isn’t some exciting adventure that you can just walk away from. This is real, and it’s dangerous.
“What have you gotten me into, Max?” You whisper.
His arm tightens around you. “I’ll keep you safe,” he promises. “No matter what.”
You want to believe him. Despite everything, despite the insanity of the past twelve hours, you find that you do believe him.
As the car speeds towards the marina, you try to process everything that’s happened. Your quiet life of academia seems like a distant memory now. In its place is ... what? Danger? Excitement? A chance at something you never knew you wanted?
You look at Max, studying his profile. He seems different from the boy you knew in high school. Harder, certainly, but there’s something else too. A confidence, a magnetism that you can’t deny.
As if sensing your gaze, Max turns to look at you. For a moment, the facade of the hardened crime boss slips, and you see a flicker of the boy you once knew.
“I really am sorry about all this,” he says softly. “If I could go back and undo it all, I would.”
“Would you?” You ask, surprised by your own boldness.
Max looks taken aback. “Wouldn’t you want me to?”
You consider this. “I don’t know,” you admit. “This is all terrifying and insane, but ... I’ve never felt more alive.”
A slow smile spreads across Max’s face. “Well, well,” he says, echoing his words from last night. “Maybe there’s hope for you yet, Y/N.”
Before you can respond, Daniel announces, “We’re here.”
The car pulls up to a private dock where a sleek yacht is moored. Max helps you out of the car, his hand lingering on your lower back.
“Last chance to back out,” he says, his eyes searching your face. “Say the word, and I’ll have Daniel take you back. We’ll figure out a way to keep you safe.”
You look at the yacht, then back at Max. In your mind’s eye, you see your apartment, your job, your safe, predictable life. Then you see bullets flying, feel the rush of adrenaline, the thrill of the unknown.
Taking a deep breath, you make your choice.
“Let’s go,” you say, taking Max’s hand and stepping onto the gangplank.
As the yacht pulls away from the dock, you can’t shake the feeling that you’re leaving more than just the city behind. You’re leaving your old self, your old life.
And as terrifying as that is, you can’t wait to see what comes next.
***
As the yacht cuts through the waves, you find yourself standing at the stern, watching the city skyline grow smaller by the minute. The reality of your situation is starting to sink in, bringing with it a cocktail of emotions — fear, excitement, and a nagging curiosity that won’t let you rest.
You turn to find Max leaning against the railing, his eyes fixed on the horizon. There’s a tension in his shoulders that wasn’t there before, a reminder that you’re not the only one affected by this sudden turn of events.
“Max,” you say, breaking the silence. “Why did you really pick me?”
He glances at you, a flicker of something crossing his face before his expression settles back into careful neutrality. “The doctor part, obviously ...”
You raise an eyebrow, sensing there’s more to it. Max sighs, running a hand through his hair.
“And you have no one who would miss you,” he continues, his voice softer now. “No contact with family and, as far as I’m concerned, no friends who would notice.”
Your heart sinks at his words, partly because of the stark truth in them, and partly because of the implications. “Notice ... oh fuck, you’re gonna kill me?”
Max’s eyes widen in surprise, then narrow in what looks like genuine offense. “No. That’s a last resort, too many questions. You’re on my boat now, aren’t you?”
You let out a shaky breath, not sure whether to feel relieved or more worried. “So what then? Am I your hostage? Your accomplice? What exactly is my role in this mess?”
Max pushes off from the railing, moving closer to you. “Right now? You’re under my protection. Beyond that ... I guess we’ll have to figure it out as we go.”
“Figure it out?” You repeat incredulously. “Max, I left everything behind. My job, my apartment, my entire life. I need more than ‘we’ll figure it out.’”
He has the decency to look chagrined. “You’re right. You deserve answers. But right now, our priority has to be getting somewhere safe.”
“And where exactly is that?” You press.
Max glances around, as if checking for eavesdroppers, before leaning in closer. “We’re headed to Monaco.”
Your eyebrows shoot up. “Monaco? As in, the luxury resort town on the French Riviera?”
He nods, a hint of a smile playing at his lips. “The very same. I have an ... associate there who can help us.”
“An associate,” you echo skeptically. “Another crime lord, I assume?”
Max’s smile widens. “Something like that. His name is Charles. He’s the heir to the Rosso Corsa Mafia.”
You can’t help but laugh, the absurdity of the situation finally getting to you. “The Rosso Corsa Mafia? Seriously? What is this, some kind of international crime syndicate convention?”
“Hey, networking is important in any business,” Max quips, his eyes twinkling with amusement.
For a moment, you’re both laughing, the tension of the past few hours dissipating slightly. But as the laughter fades, reality sets in once more.
“Max,” you say, your voice quiet now. “What am I doing here? Really?”
He sobers, his gaze intense as he looks at you. “Honestly? I’m not entirely sure. When I came to your apartment last night, I was just looking for help. I didn’t plan for any of this.”
“But you must have had some idea,” you press. “You said you kept tabs on me. Why?”
Max is quiet for a long moment, his eyes searching your face. Finally, he speaks. “Do you remember our last day of school together? Before I ... left?”
You furrow your brow, thinking back. “Vaguely. It was just an ordinary day, wasn’t it?”
He shakes his head. “Not for me. That was the day I decided to leave. I was in the library, trying to figure out how I was going to tell my parents I wanted to drop out. And then you came in.”
“I did?” You ask, surprised. You have no memory of this.
Max nods. “You were returning a stack of books. You looked ... happy. Excited about your future. I remember thinking how different we were. How I’d never have that kind of certainty, that sense of purpose.”
You’re not sure how to respond to that. “So... what? You’ve been keeping an eye on me out of some kind of twisted nostalgia?”
He winces. “When you put it like that, it sounds creepy. I just ... I guess I wanted to know that someone from our old life made it. That it was possible to be normal and happy.”
“And now you’ve dragged me into your world,” you say, a hint of bitterness in your voice.
Max looks stricken. “I never meant for this to happen. If I could go back-”
“But you can’t,” you interrupt. “We’re here now. So what happens next?”
Before Max can answer, a crew member approaches. “Sir, we’ve just received word from Monaco. Mr. Leclerc is expecting us.”
Max nods. “Thank you, Rupert. Tell the captain to push the engines. I want to make it there before nightfall.”
You shake your head in disbelief. “This is insane. You know that, right? This whole situation is completely insane.”
“Welcome to my world,” Max says, his tone light but his eyes serious. “It’s not too late to back out, you know. Say the word, and I’ll have the captain turn this boat around.”
You consider it for a moment. Your old life seems so far away already, like a half-remembered dream. And despite the danger, despite the uncertainty, you can’t deny the thrill of excitement coursing through your veins.
“No,” you say finally. “I’m in this now. For better or worse.”
Max’s expression softens. “I promise you, Y/N, I’ll do everything in my power to keep you safe.”
As you stand there, the salt spray on your face and the wind in your hair, you find yourself believing him. It’s crazy, it’s reckless, but you trust him.
The next few hours pass in a blur of activity. Max is constantly on his phone, speaking in hushed tones in what sounds like a mix of Dutch and French. You catch snippets about “security measures” and “clean identities,” but most of it goes over your head.
As the sun begins to set, casting the sea in shades of gold and pink, you find yourself back at the stern of the yacht. The coastline has long since disappeared, leaving nothing but endless ocean in every direction.
You hear footsteps behind you and turn to see Max approaching, two glasses of champagne in hand.
“I thought we could use a drink,” he says, offering you a glass. “To new beginnings?”
You take the glass, clinking it gently against his. “To new beginnings,” you echo, taking a sip. The champagne is exquisite, of course. You wouldn’t expect anything less from a mob boss’s yacht.
“We should be arriving in Monaco in a few hours,” Max says, leaning against the railing beside you. “Charles has arranged for a car to meet us at the marina. We’ll be staying at his family’s villa in the hills.”
You nod, trying to process this information. “And then what?”
Max shrugs. “We lie low for a while. Figure out our next move. The Silver Arrows won’t give up easily, but they’ll have a hard time touching us in Monaco. The Leclercs practically own the place.”
“And where do I fit into all this?” You ask, voicing the question that’s been nagging at you since you stepped onto this boat.
Max turns to face you fully, his expression serious. “That’s up to you, Y/N. I won’t force you into anything. If you want to walk away once we’re in Monaco, I’ll make sure you have the means to do so safely.”
You consider this. The sensible thing would be to take the out he’s offering. Go back to your life of books and lectures and quiet evenings alone. But the thought leaves you feeling ... empty.
“And if I don’t want to walk away?” You ask, surprised by your own boldness.
A slow smile spreads across Max’s face. “Then I suppose we’ll have to find a place for you in this brave new world of ours.”
As you stand there, watching the last rays of sunlight disappear beneath the waves, you can’t help but feel like you’re on the cusp of something momentous. Your old life is behind you now, growing more distant with every passing moment. Ahead lies uncertainty, danger ... and possibility.
You take another sip of champagne, savoring the bubbles on your tongue. Whatever comes next, you realize, you’re ready for it. Ready for the adventure, the risk, the chance to reinvent yourself.
As the yacht cuts through the darkening waters, carrying you towards a future you never could have imagined, you find yourself smiling. For the first time in years, maybe for the first time ever, you feel truly, exhilaratingly alive.
***
The yacht glides smoothly into the marina, the lights of Monaco twinkling like a galaxy of stars against the night sky. You stand at the railing, taking in the sight of luxury yachts and sleek speedboats bobbing gently in their berths. It’s a world away from your modest apartment back home.
Max appears at your side, his face tense. “Remember,” he murmurs, “stay close to me and don’t say anything unless you’re directly addressed. Charles is an ally, but he can be ... unpredictable.”
You nod, swallowing hard. The reality of your situation is sinking in again, the brief respite of the boat ride fading away.
As the crew secures the yacht, a figure emerges from the shadows of the dock. Even in the dim light, you can tell he’s striking — all lean muscles and sharp cheekbones, with piercing green eyes that seem to take in everything at once.
“Max,” he says, his accent a mix of French and something you can’t quite place. “You’ve brought trouble to my doorstep again, I see.”
Max steps forward, clasping the man’s hand. “Charles. Thank you for this. I owe you one.”
Charles’ lips quirk up in a half-smile. “Add it to your tab, my friend.” His gaze shifts to you, curiosity evident in his expression. “And who might this be?”
Before Max can answer, Charles is already moving towards you, taking your hand and bringing it to his lips in a smooth motion. “Enchanté, mademoiselle. I am Charles Leclerc.”
You stammer out your name, caught off guard by his Old World charm. Charles’ eyes sparkle with amusement.
“Adorable,” he says. “Now, shall we? It’s not wise to linger here.”
With that, he turns on his heel and strides towards the parking lot. Max gives you a gentle push, urging you to follow.
As you round the corner, your jaw drops. Sitting there, gleaming under the streetlights, is quite possibly the most ostentatious Ferrari you’ve ever seen. It’s matte black with an eye-catching racing stripe in the colors of the Monegasque flag, and sleek lines that practically scream speed and luxury.
Charles is already sliding into the driver’s seat, while Max ushers you into the back. As the engine roars to life, a thought occurs to you.
“Is this a kidnapping?” You blurt out, your nerves finally getting the better of you.
Charles catches your eye in the rearview mirror, a smirk playing on his lips. “You seem very willing for one.”
Your cheeks flush. “That doesn’t calm my nerves!”
“It is like this,” Charles sighs, accelerating smoothly as he maneuvers through the narrow streets of Monaco. “Do as Max says or we dump your body.”
“What!” You exclaim, your heart rate spiking.
Max shoots Charles a glare. “Charles, do not scare her more than necessary. The poor girl is already terrified.”
Charles shrugs, not taking his eyes off the road as he takes a sharp turn that has you clutching the seat. “I merely state facts, mon ami. Our world is not for the faint of heart.”
You look to Max, seeking reassurance. He meets your gaze, his expression softening slightly. “Ignore him. You’re under my protection, remember?”
“And what exactly does that mean?” You press, emboldened by the adrenaline coursing through your veins. “I still don’t understand my role in all this.”
Max hesitates, glancing at Charles. The two seem to have a silent conversation before Charles speaks up.
“You, ma chèrie, are an unexpected variable,” he says, his tone lighter now. “Max has a habit of collecting strays, but you ... you’re different.”
“Different how?” You ask, not sure if you should be offended or intrigued.
Charles’ eyes meet yours in the mirror again, a glint of mischief in them. “That remains to be seen, doesn’t it? But I suspect you’re made of sterner stuff than you let on.”
The car falls silent as you process this. The streets of Monaco fly by outside the window, a blur of high-end boutiques and lavish casinos. It’s like stepping into another world.
Finally, the Ferrari begins to climb, winding its way up into the hills overlooking the city. The road narrows, becoming more secluded, until you’re passing through an ornate gate flanked by high walls.
The car comes to a stop in front of a sprawling villa that looks like something out of a movie. Marble columns, manicured gardens, a fountain bubbling gently in the courtyard — it’s almost too much to take in.
As you step out of the car on shaky legs, Charles is already striding towards the entrance. “Welcome to Casa Leclerc,” he calls over his shoulder. “Try not to break anything irreplaceable.”
Max appears at your side, placing a steadying hand on your lower back. “You okay?” He asks quietly.
You nod, not trusting your voice. Max guides you inside, where you’re immediately struck by the opulence of the interior. Priceless artwork adorns the walls, and you’re pretty sure that’s an actual Fabergé egg sitting casually on a side table.
Charles leads you to a spacious living room, gesturing for you to sit. As you sink into a plush armchair, he busies himself at a well-stocked bar.
“Drink?” He offers. “I imagine you could use one.”
You nod gratefully, and soon find yourself nursing a glass of what’s probably the most expensive cognac you’ve ever tasted.
Charles settles into a chair across from you, swirling his own drink thoughtfully. “Now then,” he says, his tone suddenly all business. “Perhaps it’s time we discussed the situation at hand.”
Max, who’s been pacing near the windows, turns to face the room. “The Silver Arrows are getting bolder. This attack ... it’s a clear escalation.”
Charles nods grimly. “They sense weakness. Your recent expansion has left you vulnerable, mon ami.”
You listen, feeling increasingly out of your depth as they discuss territories, alliances, and what sound like complex financial maneuvers. It’s like overhearing a board meeting for the world’s most dangerous corporation.
Finally, unable to contain yourself any longer, you speak up. “I’m sorry, but what exactly am I doing here? I’m not a part of ... whatever this is.”
Both men turn to look at you, as if suddenly remembering your presence. Charles raises an eyebrow at Max. “Yes, do tell. What is your plan for our unexpected guest?”
Max runs a hand through his hair, a gesture you’re starting to recognize as a sign of frustration. “I didn’t have a plan. It all happened so fast, and I couldn’t just leave her there.”
“How gallant,” Charles drawls, though there’s a hint of genuine amusement in his voice. “But now we must decide what to do with her. She knows too much to simply let go.”
Your grip tightens on your glass. “I won’t say anything. I swear. Just ... let me go home.”
Max’s expression softens as he looks at you. “It’s not that simple, Y/N. The Silver Arrows saw you with me. They’ll assume you’re involved, whether you are or not.”
“So what then?” You ask, frustration bleeding into your voice. “Am I your prisoner now?”
“Non, ma chèrie,” Charles interjects smoothly. “Think of yourself as ... a valued guest. Under our protection.”
You laugh bitterly. “Some protection. I’ve been shot at, kidnapped, and threatened with bodily harm in the span of 48 hours.”
To your surprise, Charles actually looks chagrined. “Ah, yes. My apologies for that. I have a flair for the dramatic, you see.”
“What Charles is trying to say,” Max cuts in, shooting his friend a warning look, “is that you have options. We can set you up with a new identity, somewhere far from here. Or ...”
He trails off, and you find yourself leaning forward despite yourself. “Or what?”
Max and Charles exchange another of those loaded glances before Max continues. “Or you could stay. Become a part of this.”
You blink, sure you must have misheard. “Become a part of ... your crime syndicate? Are you insane?”
Charles chuckles. “Now you’re catching on, chérie. We’re all a little mad here.”
You shake your head, trying to clear it. The cognac isn’t helping. “I’m not a criminal. I’m a literature professor, for god’s sake!”
“And yet,” Charles muses, leaning forward, “here you are. You could have called the police at any point. You could have refused to get on that yacht. But you didn’t. Why is that, I wonder?”
You open your mouth to protest, then close it again. He’s not wrong. Despite the fear, despite the danger, there’s a part of you that’s been thrilled by all of this. A part that’s been longing for something more than your quiet, predictable life.
Max kneels in front of you, taking your hands in his. “I know it’s a lot to take in. And I’m not asking you to decide right now. But I want you to know that if you choose to stay, we’ll teach you everything you need to know. You’ll be protected, valued. Part of something bigger than yourself.”
You look into his eyes, searching for ... you’re not sure what. Deception? Ulterior motives? But all you see is sincerity, and something else. Something that makes your heart beat a little faster.
“I ... I need time to think,” you manage to say.
Charles claps his hands together, breaking the moment. “Excellent idea. A good night’s sleep will do wonders for clarity of thought. Allow me to show you to your room.”
As you follow Charles up a sweeping staircase, your mind is whirling. Two days ago, your biggest concern was finishing grading papers on Jane Austen. Now, you’re being offered a place in an international crime syndicate.
It’s absurd.
It’s terrifying.
And yet ...
Charles stops in front of an ornate door. “Your quarters, mademoiselle. I trust you’ll find everything to your liking. We can discuss more in the morning.”
As he turns to leave, you can’t help but call out. “Charles?”
He pauses, looking back at you with those piercing eyes. “Yes?”
“Why are you doing this? Helping Max, offering me a place here? What’s in it for you?”
A slow smile spreads across his face. “Let’s just say I have a good feeling about you, Y/N. You might be exactly what our little organizations need.”
With that cryptic statement, he’s gone, leaving you alone in a luxurious bedroom that probably costs more than your entire apartment back home.
As you sink onto the plush bed, your head spinning from more than just the alcohol, you can’t help but wonder: what would Jane Austen make of all this? Somehow, you don’t think even she could have imagined a plot twist quite like this one.
***
The morning sun filters through the luxurious curtains, rousing you from a surprisingly deep sleep. For a moment, you’re disoriented, the opulent surroundings a stark contrast to your cozy little apartment back home. Then the events of the past day come rushing back, and with them, a sudden clarity.
You sit up, your mind made up. It’s crazy, it’s reckless, but you’ve never been more certain of anything in your life. You’re staying.
After a quick shower and change into clothes that have mysteriously appeared in the wardrobe (and fit perfectly, which you decide not to question), you make your way downstairs. The villa is quiet, save for the faint clinking of dishes coming from what you assume is the kitchen.
You follow the sound, finding Max nursing a cup of coffee at a marble island. He looks up as you enter, his expression guarded.
“Morning,” he says cautiously. “Sleep well?”
You nod, taking a deep breath. “I’ve made a decision.”
He sets down his cup, giving you his full attention. “Oh?”
“I’m staying,” you say, your voice steadier than you feel. “I want to be a part of this. Of your world.”
Max’s eyebrows shoot up, surprise evident on his face. “Are you sure? This isn’t a decision to be made lightly, Y/N. Once you’re in, there’s no going back.”
You meet his gaze, unflinching. “I’m sure. My old life ... it never felt right. Like I was just going through the motions. But this? As terrifying as it is, it feels real. It feels right.”
A slow smile spreads across Max’s face, transforming his features. “Well then,” he says, standing up. “I guess we better start your training.”
“Training?” You echo.
Max nods, his expression turning serious. “If you’re going to survive in this world, you need to learn how to protect yourself. First lesson: shooting.”
Your eyes widen. “Shooting? As in, guns?”
“No, we’re going to teach you competitive archery,” Max deadpans. “Of course guns. Come on, Charles has a range in the basement.”
As you follow Max through the winding corridors of the villa, your heart races with a mix of excitement and trepidation. This is really happening.
The shooting range is state-of-the-art, with multiple lanes and an impressive array of weapons displayed on the walls. Max selects a handgun, checking it over with practiced ease.
“We’ll start with something simple,” he says, holding out the gun. “A Glock 19. Easy to handle, reliable.”
You take the weapon gingerly, surprised by its weight. Max positions himself behind you, adjusting your stance and grip.
“Remember,” he says, his breath warm against your ear, “breathe steadily. Squeeze the trigger, don’t pull.”
You nod, trying to focus on the target at the end of the range rather than the heat of Max’s body behind you.
“Whenever you’re ready,” he murmurs, stepping back.
You take a deep breath, aim, and pull the trigger. The gun goes off with a deafening bang, and you can’t help but let out a surprised scream.
Max tuts, shaking his head. “Don’t do that, it will give you away.”
You turn to him, incredulous. “Like the loud noise wouldn’t? I shot a gun!”
“And missed,” Max points out, nodding towards the untouched target. “Now go again.”
Gritting your teeth, you face the target once more. This time, you’re prepared for the noise and the recoil. You squeeze the trigger, and to your surprise, the bullet hits the outer ring of the target.
“Better,” Max says, a note of approval in his voice. “Again.”
As the morning wears on, you find yourself falling into a rhythm. Aim, breathe, squeeze. The shots become more accurate, your stance more confident. Max is a patient teacher, offering guidance and correction with a gentle touch here, a murmured word there.
“You’re a natural,” he says after a particularly good round. “Must be all those Jane Austen novels. Secret badass under all that propriety.”
You laugh, lowering the gun. “I don’t think Lizzy Bennet ever handled a Glock.”
“Her loss,” Max grins. “One more round?”
You nod, raising the gun once more. As you fire off the last few shots, you’re aware of Max’s gaze on you, more intense than before. The final bullet hits dead center, and you turn to him with a triumphant smile.
“How was that?” You ask, breathless with exhilaration.
Max doesn’t answer immediately. He’s looking at you with an expression you can’t quite decipher — admiration, certainly, but something else too. Something that makes your pulse quicken.
“Max?” You prompt, suddenly very aware of how close he is.
In one fluid motion, Max closes the distance between you. His hand comes up to cup your cheek, and before you can process what’s happening, his lips are on yours.
The kiss is electric, sending sparks through your entire body. You respond instinctively, your free hand fisting in his shirt to pull him closer. The gun clatters to the floor, forgotten.
Max backs you up against the wall of the shooting range, his body pressing against yours. When you finally break apart, you’re both breathing heavily.
“I’ve wanted to do that since you opened your door that night,” Max admits, his forehead resting against yours.
You laugh breathlessly. “Even with me in my ratty pajamas?”
“Especially then,” he grins. “You were adorably flustered. And then you went and patched me up without hesitation. I was a goner.”
You shake your head in disbelief. “This is insane, you know that? A few days ago I was grading papers on 19th-century classic literature. Now I’m making out with a crime lord in a secret shooting range.”
Max’s expression turns serious. “Is it too much? We can slow down, or-”
You cut him off with another kiss. “No,” you say firmly. “It’s not too much. It’s ... exactly right.”
A slow smile spreads across Max’s face. “Well then, doctor. Ready for your next lesson?”
You raise an eyebrow. “And what might that be?”
Max’s grin turns wicked. “I was thinking something in the realm of close combat. Very hands-on.”
You laugh, a thrill of excitement running through you. “Lead the way.”
As Max takes your hand, leading you out of the shooting range, you can’t help but marvel at the turn your life has taken. It’s dangerous, it’s completely illogical, and yet ... you’ve never felt more alive.
Whatever comes next, you’re ready for it. With a gun in your hand and Max by your side, you feel like you could take on the world. And who knows? Maybe you will.
***
As Max leads you out of the shooting range, there’s a palpable tension in the air, crackling with unspoken promises. You follow him through the winding corridors of Charles’ villa, your heart racing with anticipation.
“So,” you say, trying to keep your voice steady, “where exactly are we going for this close combat training?”
Max glances back at you, a mischievous glint in his eye. “I thought we’d use the gym. Plenty of space, padded floors ... you know, for safety.”
You can’t help but laugh. “Safety, huh? Is that what we’re calling it now?”
He stops abruptly, turning to face you. “Y/N, if this is moving too fast-”
You cut him off, stepping closer. “Max, I literally left my entire life behind for you. I think we’re well past too fast.”
A slow smile spreads across his face. “Fair point. Still, if at any point you want to stop-”
“I’ll let you know,” you assure him. “Now, are you going to show me these close combat moves or what?”
Max’s grin turns predatory. “Oh, I’ll show you alright.”
He pushes open a door, revealing a state-of-the-art gym. The space is impressive, with gleaming equipment and, as promised, a large area covered in training mats.
“Shall we?” Max asks, gesturing to the mats.
You nod, suddenly feeling a bit nervous despite your bravado. As you step onto the mat, Max begins circling you slowly.
“The key to close combat,” he says, his voice low and intense, “is to always be aware of your opponent’s movements. To anticipate their next move.”
You turn, keeping him in your sight. “And how do I do that?”
In a flash, Max is behind you, his arms wrapping around your waist. “By staying alert,” he murmurs in your ear.
A shiver runs down your spine at his proximity. “I thought I was doing pretty well,” you manage to say.
You can feel Max’s chuckle rumbling through his chest. “Not bad. But you’re still too tense. You need to relax, feel the flow of movement.”
His hands slide up your arms, gently adjusting your posture. You lean back into him, relishing the warmth of his body.
“Like this?” You ask, your voice barely above a whisper.
Max’s grip tightens slightly. “Getting there. Now, if someone grabs you like this, what do you do?”
You consider for a moment, then make your move. You twist in his arms, using the momentum to break his hold and face him. “How’s that?”
Max looks impressed. “Not bad at all. You’re a quick learner.”
“I have a good teacher,” you reply, a bit breathless from the maneuver and his proximity.
For a moment, you stand there, faces inches apart, the air heavy with tension. Then Max moves, swift and sure, sweeping your legs out from under you. You land on the mat with a soft thud, Max following you down, pinning you beneath him.
“Rule number one,” he says, his face hovering above yours, “never let your guard down.”
You raise an eyebrow. “Is that so? And what’s rule number two?”
Instead of answering, Max lowers his head, capturing your lips in a searing kiss. You respond eagerly, your hands coming up to tangle in his hair.
When you finally break apart, you’re both breathing heavily. “I think I like rule number two,” you say with a grin.
Max laughs, the sound rich and warm. “Oh, we’re just getting started with the rules, doctor.”
He leans in for another kiss, but this time you’re ready. Using the moves he just taught you, you manage to flip your positions, straddling his waist triumphantly.
“How’s that for staying alert?” You ask, feeling a thrill at the surprised and appreciative look on Max’s face.
“Impressive,” he says, his hands coming to rest on your hips. “But you’ve left yourself open.”
Before you can ask what he means, Max surges upward, capturing your lips once more. As you lose yourself in the kiss, you feel him shift, and suddenly you’re on your back again, Max looming over you with a satisfied smirk.
“Distraction,” he says, “can be a powerful weapon.”
You laugh, breathless and exhilarated. “I’ll keep that in mind. Any other lessons you want to teach me?”
Max’s eyes darken. “Oh, I’ve got plenty more to teach you. If you’re up for it.”
You reach up, pulling him down to you. “I’m a very dedicated student,” you murmur against his lips.
What follows is less a lesson in combat and more an exploration of each other. Clothes are discarded, hands roam freely, and the only sounds in the gym are gasps, moans, and occasional laughter.
Later, as you lie tangled together on the training mats, you can’t help but marvel at the turn your life has taken. Just days ago, you were grading papers in your quiet apartment. Now, you’re in the arms of a mob boss, in a luxurious villa in Monaco, having just had the most exhilarating experience of your life.
“Penny for your thoughts?” Max asks, his fingers tracing lazy patterns on your bare skin.
You turn to face him, propping yourself up on an elbow. “Just thinking about how surreal this all is. A week ago, the most exciting thing in my life was finding a rare first edition at an antique book fair.”
Max chuckles. “And now?”
“Now?” You grin. “Now I’m learning to shoot, engaging in ‘close combat training’, and apparently joining an international crime syndicate. It’s ... a lot.”
His expression turns serious. “Is it too much? It’s too late to back out now, you know. I could have set you up somewhere safe, given you a new identity earlier, but now-”
You silence him with a kiss. “Max, I meant what I said earlier. I’m in this. All of it. With you.”
The smile that spreads across his face is radiant. “Good,” he says, pulling you closer. “Because I don’t think I could let you go now if I tried.”
You settle into his embrace, feeling safer than you have in years despite the objective danger of your situation. “So, what’s next on the criminal training agenda?” You ask, only half-joking.
Max pretends to consider. “Well, we’ve covered shooting and hand-to-hand combat. How do you feel about safecracking?”
You laugh. “Safecracking? Seriously?”
“Hey, it’s a valuable skill in our line of work,” Max defends, his eyes twinkling with amusement.
“Uh-huh,” you say skeptically. “And I suppose pickpocketing is next on the list?”
Max grins. “Now that you mention it ...”
You swat his chest playfully. “You’re impossible.”
“And yet, here you are,” he points out, capturing your hand and bringing it to his lips.
“Here I am,” you agree softly. “So, what happens now? Do we stay here in Monaco? Go back to face the Silver Arrows?”
Max’s expression turns thoughtful. “For now, we stay here. You need more training before we can risk going back. And I need to regroup, strategize.”
You nod, a mix of relief and excitement coursing through you. “So I get to play princess in a Monaco villa while learning the finer points of criminality? I think I can handle that.”
“It won’t all be fun and games,” Max warns. “The Silver Arrows are still out there, and they’re not going to give up easily. We need to be prepared for anything.”
“I know,” you say, your tone turning serious. “I understand the risks. I’m ready for whatever comes next.”
He studies your face for a long moment, as if searching for any sign of doubt. Finding none, he nods. “Alright then. Welcome to the family, Y/N.”
***
The Monaco sun beats down relentlessly as you step out of yet another luxury boutique, arms laden with shopping bags. Oscar and Lando, your assigned bodyguards, trail behind you, their eyes constantly scanning the surroundings.
“I think that’s the last one,” you say, unable to keep the excitement out of your voice. “Who knew shopping could be so exhilarating?”
Oscar raises an eyebrow. “I think the exhilaration comes from Max finally letting you out of the villa, not the shopping itself.”
You laugh, conceding the point. “True. I never thought I’d be so happy to see the inside of a Gucci store.”
Lando grins. “Just wait until Max sees the bill. That’ll be truly exhilarating.”
As you make your way towards the parked Ferrari, you can’t help but reflect on the past few weeks. The intensive training, the late-night strategy sessions with Max and Charles, the growing feeling that you’re part of something bigger than yourself. It’s been thrilling, but also claustrophobic at times.
“I still can’t believe Max agreed to this little excursion,” you muse as you reach the car.
Oscar shrugs, opening the trunk. “You can be very persuasive when you want to be. Those puppy eyes of yours should be classified as a weapon.”
You’re about to retort when a sudden movement catches your eye. Before you can react, the air is filled with the deafening sound of gunfire.
“Get down!” Lando shouts, pushing you behind the car as he and Oscar draw their weapons.
Your heart pounds as you crouch behind the meager cover, the sounds of a firefight erupting around you. This isn’t like the controlled environment of the shooting range. This is real, chaotic, and terrifying.
“Y/N, stay down!” Oscar yells over the din, returning fire at unseen assailants.
You nod, too shocked to speak. But as you huddle there, a horrifying realization hits you — you recognize some of the voices shouting orders.
The Silver Arrows. They’ve found you.
Suddenly, a strong arm wraps around your waist, yanking you up and away from the car. You struggle instinctively, but your captor’s grip is like iron.
“Well, well,” a deep voice rumbles in your ear. “What do we have here? Max’s new pet, I presume?”
You crane your neck, looking up into a face you’ve seen before — in photographs, in briefings. Toto Wolff, leader of the Silver Arrows himself.
“Let me go,” you growl, trying to sound braver than you feel.
Toto chuckles, the sound devoid of humor. “I’m afraid I can’t do that, my dear. You see, you’re my ticket to bringing Max to his knees.”
As he speaks, you become acutely aware of the weight on your thigh. The gun. The one Max insisted you carry, “just in case.” This, you realize with startling clarity, is that case.
Moving as subtly as you can, you reach for the holster strapped to your leg. Toto, focused on the fight around you, doesn’t notice.
“You don’t have to do this,” you say, stalling for time as your fingers close around the grip of the gun. “There are other ways to resolve conflicts.”
Toto’s laugh is harsh. “Spoken like someone who doesn’t understand our world. This isn’t a negotiation, it’s war.”
You take a deep breath, Max’s training echoing in your mind. Stay calm. Aim true. Squeeze, don’t pull.
“You’re right,” you say, your voice steadier than you feel. “I don’t understand your world.”
In one fluid motion, you pull the gun free and twist in Toto’s grip. Before he can react, you press the muzzle against his chest and pull the trigger.
The gunshot seems impossibly loud, even amidst the chaos of the firefight. Toto’s eyes widen in shock, his grip on you loosening as he stumbles backward.
For a moment, everything seems to freeze. Then, chaos erupts anew.
“Boss!” Someone shouts, and suddenly you’re being pulled away, strong arms encircling you protectively.
“I’ve got you,” Oscar’s voice says in your ear. “We’re getting out of here.”
As he hustles you towards the car, you catch glimpses of the scene around you. Silver Arrow members rushing to their fallen leader. Lando providing cover fire. And blood. So much blood.
Oscar practically throws you into the backseat of the Ferrari before jumping into the driver’s seat. Lando dives in barely a second later, and then you’re peeling away from the curb, tires screeching.
“Are you hurt?” Lando asks, twisting in his seat to look at you.
You shake your head, still too shocked to speak. The gun is still clutched in your hand, and you stare at it as if seeing it for the first time.
“You did good, Y/N,” Oscar says, his eyes flicking to you in the rearview mirror. “You kept your cool. That’s not easy in a situation like that.”
“I ... I shot him,” you manage to say, your voice barely above a whisper. “Toto Wolff. I shot him.”
Lando and Oscar exchange a glance. “You did what you had to do,” Lando says gently. “He would have killed you without hesitation.”
As the adrenaline begins to fade, the reality of what just happened starts to sink in. You’ve just shot one of the most powerful crime lords in Europe. In broad daylight. In the middle of Monte Carlo.
“Oh god,” you groan, leaning your head back against the seat. “Max is going to kill me.”
Oscar lets out a surprised laugh. “Are you kidding? He’s going to be thrilled. You just took out his biggest rival.”
“Took out?” You repeat, a new wave of panic washing over you. “You mean he’s ...”
“We don’t know for sure,” Lando says quickly. “But a point-blank shot like that ... it doesn’t look good for Toto.”
You close your eyes, trying to process everything. Just hours ago, your biggest concern was whether to buy the Prada or the Fendi handbag. Now, you might have just assassinated a mob boss.
The rest of the drive passes in a blur. Before you know it, you’re pulling up to the villa, where Max is already waiting, his face a mask of concern and anger.
As soon as the car stops, he yanks open your door, pulling you into a fierce embrace. “Are you okay?” He demands, his hands roaming over you as if checking for injuries. “When I got the call, I thought ...”
You cling to him, the familiar scent of his cologne grounding you. “I’m okay,” you assure him. “I’m okay.”
Max pulls back slightly, cupping your face in his hands. “What happened? Oscar said there was a firefight.”
You take a deep breath, steeling yourself. “The Silver Arrows ambushed us. And Toto ... he grabbed me. I ... I shot him, Max. With the gun you gave me.”
For a moment, Max just stares at you, his expression unreadable. Then, to your surprise, a slow smile spreads across his face. “You shot Toto Wolff?”
You nod, still unsure of his reaction. “I think ... I think I might have killed him.”
Max’s smile widens into a full-blown grin. “Y/N, do you have any idea what you’ve just done? You’ve single-handedly changed the balance of power in our world.”
“I have?” You ask, feeling slightly dazed.
He nods, pulling you close again. “You’re incredible, you know that? I knew you were special from the moment I showed up at your door, but this ... this is beyond anything I could have imagined.”
As Max leads you into the villa, his arm protectively around your waist, you can’t help but marvel at the turn your life has taken. From literature professor to potential assassin in a matter of weeks. It’s terrifying, exhilarating, and completely surreal.
“What happens now?” You ask as Max guides you to the study, where Charles is already waiting, phone in hand.
Max exchanges a look with Charles before turning back to you. “Now? Now we prepare for war. The Silver Arrows won’t take this lying down, Toto dead or alive. But with you by my side ...” He trails off, a fierce pride in his eyes.
“You can be unstoppable,” Charles finishes, raising his glass in a toast.
As you sink into a chair, the events of the day finally catching up with you, you realize that this is your life now. Gunfights and power plays, luxury shopping sprees and criminal empires. It’s a far cry from grading papers on Jane Austen, but as you look at Max, seeing the mix of pride, concern, and love in his eyes, you know you wouldn’t have it any other way.
The war may be just beginning, but with Max by your side and a newfound confidence in your abilities, you’re ready to face whatever comes next. After all, you’ve already taken down Toto Wolff. What’s a little inter-syndicate warfare compared to that?
***
Five Years Later
The small apartment buzzes with the energy of five recent college graduates, sprawled across mismatched furniture in various states of relaxation. Empty pizza boxes and half-empty wine bottles litter the coffee table, evidence of their Friday night catch-up session.
“Alright, alright,” Emily says, reaching for her phone. “What should we put on for background noise? Music? TV?”
Jake, lounging on the worn leather armchair, perks up. “Oh! What about that true crime podcast I was telling you guys about? The one about modern mobs?”
Zoe, curled up on the couch, raises an eyebrow. “Seriously? Isn’t that a bit heavy for a chill hangout?”
“No, no, it’s fascinating!” Jake insists. “It’s not just gruesome stuff. It’s all about the economics and politics of modern organized crime. Super interesting.”
Lisa, sitting cross-legged on the floor, shrugs. “I’m game. Could be fun to learn something while we drink.”
“Seconded,” chimes in Alex from his spot by the window. “Hit play, Em.”
Emily fiddles with her phone, connecting it to the bluetooth speaker. “Alright, here we go. ‘The Mob in the Modern Age: Episode 7 — The Dutch Syndicate’s Rise to Power.’”
As the podcast’s intro music fades, a smooth, professional voice fills the room:
“In the world of organized crime, power shifts can happen in the blink of an eye. But few have been as sudden or as dramatic as the meteoric rise of the Dutch Crime Syndicate over the past five years. Once a minor player on the European stage, the Dutch Syndicate now controls vast swathes of territory and influences everything from high finance to international politics. But how did this happen? The answer, dear listeners, lies in an unlikely source: a literature professor turned criminal mastermind.”
The friends exchange amused glances. “A literature professor?” Zoe snorts. “Now that’s a career change.”
“Shh,” Jake hushes her, leaning forward intently.
The podcast continues: “It all began with a chance encounter. The Syndicate’s boss, known only as Max Emilian, was injured in a firefight with rival gang members. Desperate for medical attention but unable to go to a hospital, he turned up on the doorstep of a young literature professor in the middle of the night.”
Emily pauses the podcast. “Okay, this sounds like the plot of a bad romance novel.”
“I know, right?” Lisa laughs. “What are the odds?”
Alex shakes his head, grinning. “Maybe our old prof is secretly living it up as a mob wife somewhere.”
The group erupts into laughter at the absurd image.
“Can you imagine?” Zoe gasps between giggles. “Professor Y/L/N in a shootout?”
Jake wipes tears from his eyes. “God, remember how she used to get flustered just operating the projector?”
As the laughter dies down, Emily resumes the podcast.
“What happened next is the stuff of legend in criminal circles. The professor, whose name we now know to be Y/N Y/L/N, not only patched up the crime boss but ended up joining his organization. Within weeks, she had become his right-hand woman and romantic partner.”
The room falls silent, the friends exchanging wide-eyed looks.
“No way,” Alex breathes.
“It can’t be,” Lisa shakes her head. “It’s got to be a coincidence.”
Jake holds up a hand, shushing them as the podcast continues.
“But Y/N’s true moment of infamy came just a month into her new life of crime. During what should have been a routine shopping trip in Monte Carlo, she and her bodyguards were ambushed by members of the rival Silver Arrows gang. In the ensuing chaos, Y/N found herself face to face with none other than Toto Wolff, the notorious leader of the Silver Arrows.”
“Oh my god,” Zoe whispers, her face pale.
“What happened next would change the landscape of European organized crime forever. Y/N, using a gun given to her by Max for protection, shot Toto Wolff at point-blank range. Wolff did not survive the encounter, his death throwing the Silver Arrows into disarray.”
Emily pauses the podcast again, her hand shaking slightly. “Guys ... this can’t actually be our Professor Y/L/N, right? I mean, it’s impossible.”
The room is silent for a long moment, each of them lost in thought.
“Remember how she just ... disappeared?” Alex says slowly. “In the middle of the semester? The department said it was a family emergency, but no one ever heard from her again.”
Jake nods, his brow furrowed. “And it was right around the time this podcast is talking about. Five years ago, give or take.”
Lisa shakes her head vehemently. “No. No way. Our Y/N? The one who cried when we threw her a surprise party for finishing her PhD? There’s no way she shot someone.”
“But think about it,” Zoe says, warming to the idea. “She was always talking about how literature reflects real life, how the best stories come from unexpected places. What if ... what if she decided to live a story instead of just teaching about them?”
The group falls silent again, each of them trying to reconcile the image of their soft-spoken, cardigan-wearing professor with the gun-toting criminal mastermind described in the podcast.
Emily takes a deep breath. “Should we ... should we listen to the rest?”
After a moment of hesitation, they all nod. She presses play:
“In the years since that fateful day in Monte Carlo, Y/N has become a force to be reckoned with in her own right. Known in criminal circles as ‘The Professor,’ she’s rumored to be the strategic mind behind the Dutch Syndicate’s most daring and successful operations. Her background in literature and analysis has proven unexpectedly valuable in the world of organized crime, allowing her to see patterns and opportunities that others miss.”
Jake lets out a low whistle. “Okay, that part I can actually see. Remember how she could break down a text? Find connections no one else saw?”
The others nod, still looking shell-shocked.
The podcast continues: “Last year, Y/N and Max officially tied the knot in what insiders describe as the criminal event of the decade. The guest list reportedly included high-ranking members of various international syndicates, as well as several politicians and business moguls whose connections to the underworld had previously been only rumored.”
“A mob wedding,” Alex says faintly. “Our professor had a mob wedding.”
Zoe suddenly sits up straight. “Wait a second. Guys, remember that weird email we all got about a year ago? The one that looked like spam but had our names in it?”
The others nod slowly, realization dawning.
“It said something about a ‘special event’ and how the sender wished we could be there,” Lisa recalls. “We all thought it was just a weird phishing attempt.”
“Holy shit,” Jake breathes. “She invited us to her mob wedding.”
The podcast wraps up: “Today, the Dutch Crime Syndicate stands at the pinnacle of European organized crime, with Y/N and Max as its power couple. Their story serves as a reminder that in the modern criminal underworld, brains can be just as valuable as brawn. And sometimes, the most dangerous person in the room might just be the one with a literature degree.”
As the outro music plays, the friends sit in stunned silence.
Finally, Emily speaks up. “So ... do we think it’s really her?”
They look at each other, years of shared memories and inside jokes about their favorite professor flashing through their minds.
“I mean, what are the odds of two literature professors named Y/N Y/L/N getting mixed up with the mob in the same year?” Alex points out.
Jake nods slowly. “And it would explain why she just vanished. Why the department was so weird about it.”
“But ... but it’s Y/N,” Lisa protests weakly. “She used to bring us cookies during finals week. She cried when we analyzed sad poems.”
Zoe reaches for her phone. “Only one way to find out for sure. I’m googling her.”
The others crowd around as Zoe types in their former professor’s name. The search results load, and they collectively gasp.
There, staring back at them from countless news articles and blurry paparazzi shots, is an unmistakable face. It’s older, harder somehow, but undeniably the woman who once taught them about Jane Austen and Shakespeare.
“Well,” Emily says faintly, “I guess this explains why she always said Pride and Prejudice needed more action scenes.”
The room erupts into hysterical laughter, the absurdity of the situation finally hitting them full force.
As they catch their breath, Jake raises his wine glass. “To Professor Y/L/N,” he says solemnly. “May her gun be as mighty as her pen.”
The others join in the toast, clinking their glasses together.
“You know,” Alex muses, “I always thought her lectures on Crime and Punishment were a little too detailed.”
Another round of laughter fills the apartment as the friends settle in to re-listen to the podcast, this time with a whole new perspective on their former professor turned criminal mastermind.
As the night wears on, they share memories of their college days, now tinged with the surreal knowledge of where life has taken their beloved professor. And though none of them would admit it out loud, there’s a small part of each of them that can’t help but admire the sheer audacity of it all.
After all, how many people can say their literature professor went on to conquer the criminal underworld?
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safyresky · 1 year ago
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wheeeeeeeeeeeew
#personal#dani vents#my god. my god. my god. my GOD#BEING HOME IS ROUGH TAG READERS#my parents are just. WHEW. childish for 50-60 year olds. ya feel?#it's toasty in the house bc it was a hot day#but my dad is like nah we're not turning on the ac it's going to cool off#it has not cooled off#anyway my mom is like 'i'm having a hard time breathing bc it's so hoooot in here'#and yknow. it is a little sticky. and humid. me fingies are swollen#but bc my dad is stubborn and cheap as fuck he's like#NO IT'S GOING DOWN TO 15. then he said 16. then he said 17. it'll cool off he said#SIX HOURS AGO#ANYWAY i made the MISTAKE of asking mom if she was okay bc she was breathing heavy#which started the 'dialogue' (read: argument) of them snipping about turning it on bc mom's like#oh welll the ac only goes on if YOU want it on so.#and then he's all FINE then i'll TURN IT ON but like. in that tone of voice#where it's like. he says he will but is mad about not getting his way (passive aggressive?)#and then goes WELL I HAVE ASTHMA AND I'M FINE IN HERE SO WHY AREN'T YOU FINE IN HERE?#and it's like buddy. you are the most idgaf about my asthma asthmatic person i know#he'll be like I CANNOT BREATH and we'll be like TAKE YOUR PUFFER YOU ASTHMATIC HOE and he'll be like nah im fine#so anyway i went to my room bc holy shit these two. holy shit#and it is nasty hot and i'm hoping my sister goes down to complain lmao#ANYWAY YEAH. SORRY FOR SILENCE BEEN IN GTA FOR 5 DAYS#WAS AT A SEMINAR AND WENT SHOPPING WITH MY SIS TODAY#SO YEAH
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phoenixfire7894 · 4 months ago
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I know a lot of Tgcf fans greatly dislike the Banyue Arc (and I understand in the sense that it’s early on that all adaptions really mainly include up to that arc in this point in time and it gets repetitive) but I am actually a decent fan of this arc, mainly because of Hua Cheng, Mu Qing, and Feng Xin all just wearing obnoxiously obvious disguises.
Xie Lian really humored these three.
Hua Cheng is the least offensive of these three. He’s not really actively trying to hide his identity per se. I imagine that he didn’t want to straight up lie to Xie Lian, which is why he only disguised his appearance and then proceeded to be the weirdest person ever. Like mans lowkey waltzed up to Xie Lian and said “Hey bestie, I’m just a good old normal, 100% average teenager who is most definitely not a ghost king or anything like that! Look, I can breathe!“ and then proceeded to info dump a shit ton of information about gods and shit like he’s Wikipedia which a normal, 100% average teenager who is most definitely not a ghost king would most positively not know.
However, our other two offenders actually thought they were fooling Xie Lian, whom may I remind you, is legit their childhood friend. They swapped color pallets and called it a day. And not only did they not try to not act like their selfs in the personality sense in their disguises, they also were just so bad at pretending not to be themselves. Like, someone says “General” in the cave where all the travelers were hiding and they both respond like it’s them being addressed. Idiots.
Also, the three of them just bicker half the time. Mu Qing and Feng Xin just kept yelling that this random nepo-baby Xie Lian picked up was so sus and trying to prove it to him while Xie Lian sits there and tells them to go for it while he snickers internally, knowing the identity of every single disguised person in the room.
These three legit had an argument about whether or not this “San Lang” could drink water. That’s just so fucking funny to me.
Honorable mentions in this arc is Feng Xin getting the shit beat out of him by Windmaster because he somehow was unaware that they swapped gendered forms (which btw, how the fuck did he not know this)?! Also, He Xuan and Hua Cheng just seeing each other in disguises because I wish I got their internal monologues for that.
Tldr: Banyue arc isn’t the best arc in the series, but it still stands as a fairly comedic regardless.
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