#God of Teeth event.
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Other Roth RP starter!
{{ Hello everyone! This post is regarding Roth's "God of Teeth" event. Basically, Other Roth has replaced Roth. So, if anyone wanna interact with a murderous, psychotic doppelganger. Please give this post a like and I'll write up a starter. }}
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Sometimes love feels like you’ve splattered yourself against a wall and there’s really no dignified way to get back up from that
#my stuff#a year after our breakup and like 9 months after we last spoke i texted my ex this morning#just to say i hope they’re ok and meant to say so at the fucking event on tuesday#no response of course#just like the last time i cracked during the night we were supposed to be at Teeth of God and instead they were with someone else#i feel like i’ve uselessly smashed myself against the metaphorical wall between us#pulped myself against their indifference to me#how do you stop feeling that pull? that draw to care for someone you can’t anymore?#ever since we’ve stopped speaking i’ve only ever dreamed of their back. of them facing away from me and out of reach of touch or voice#surrounded by others who bar my path#and in real life that’s exactly what happened. i didnt even see their face. idk if they even knew i was there. that part really eats me.#that i spent 40 minutes screaming inside just to prove i’m still alive and they didn’t even see i was there#what a waste of time and energy#and yet it gnaws on me all the same
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I would love to understand why my brain and body are desperate to not shower in the safety of my own home but perked up at the offer to go shower at the gym that’s full of people I don’t know and men who could pin me and locker rooms with open doorways and less control over cleanliness than I can get in my own apartment. Something something the years of swim practice and swim meet locker room showers being safe I guess?
#I’ll allow it#I’ll even encourage it if it can help me get over 6 miles walked per day again#but can I please fucking shower? I feel so gross#I have never in my life had as hard a time showering or bathing as I have this year and it’s been killing my self esteem#I feel like everyone knows I’m gross and I KNOW I need to shower#it’s important#and I don’t want my hair greasy or anything#but I go out of my way to avoid it except for an occasional hair wash or body shower when I need to go to an event#and it’s driving me CRAZY#cleanliness is really really next to godliness in my family and also I know everyone in the world views hygiene as a moral issue#and I CAN SHOWER I did it for YEARS I even did it daily for years I used to be SO good at always always doing at least the minimum#even if sleep deprived or sick#but now it’s like I’m stuck SCREAMING and slamming my palms bloody in a containment cell somewhere in the center of my concept of a body#BEGGING to just stop being so gross and to do a daily face routine and use lotion and keep my teeth healthy and keep my hair clean#and it doesn’t even matter#I’m so ashamed all the time#but my brain doesn’t give a shit about it anymore#it views the endless shame as a lesser evil and god I hope I figure out how to get that stopped#I don’t even get triggered in the shower!!! I don’t know what’s wrong! my brain just does everything it can#to keep me from undressing and showering#no matter how much I hate it#and this is so tmi sorry oh god#I’ll probably delete this later#but#shh katie#add to journal#is it the dissociation? is it the adhd? is it the ptsd?#FINALLY my POTS symptoms chill out for the winter and now THIS?
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longlegs is a movie about mother/daughterhood for real. throws up thinking about it actually
#LONGLEGS SPOILERS IN THE TAGS#Dont look if you dont want spoilers plsssss <3#didnt looooove it btw i have my mixed feelings and criticisms but! i did like it. and liked a lot about it...#feeling left with this dreadful feeling about being trapped in childhood and trauma and your mother trying to keep you there#and doing so much so you Can grow up but still not really letting you and keeping all of you in her house and keeping your memories of -#certain events to 'protect' you and just making it harder for you and then keeping up with these phone calls and of course doing all of -#what she did to keep her little girl alive so she could grow up and none of it mattered as long as her little girl got to grow up and be -#herself and not have to worry about all of those things shes doing or that happened... even though they still directly affect her and make#her life a living hell... shes tormented by it... and phone calls and interactions with her mother feel terrible... but she loves her#and she trusts her and she doesnt know what to do with her... or how to feel... and she wants answers andhgkshdfk GAHH its good#all of lees hair and teeth and nails and all of her things from childhood still in that house... in her room... all of her memories are in#that room... including clues to That One... god#longlegs spoilers#longlegs 2024 spoilers
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it genuinely kills me very slowly to think that some people can only ever think of jack as the destiel kid and not like an actual person with a myriad of maladjustments or silly funny personality quirks. like he has a whole special red and white fleece lined Christmas jacket and is canonically acknowledged as looking like a stupid hot white boy without any thoughts behind his eyes. He killed a whole fucking archangel and then decided that he really wanted to try making some friends like a week later. they wanna be normal and nice so bad and pretend to be some normal small town boy next door all the time but they were literally so angry once that it took three gunshots fired in the back to make him calm and reasonable.
he stress eats and stays in their room for weeks on end when they’re depressed or upset. they line their shoes up and fold their shirts and wear bright yellow vans and red hi-tops. he’s narratively paralleled to Anakin but his favorite character is Ahsoka. he pretended to be a coke addict and pretended to be a pretty new boy next door again to flirt with a hopelessly romantic girl. women want him and he’s absolutely clueless about it. women and men and probably fish fear him too. he dresses like a combination between an elderly man and a 70’s sitcom hippie. he was literally called Bieber and Suite Life. they like stripe patterns and Hawaiian pizza and movies and computers.
they’re literally an autistic person who just explodes shit when they get overstimulated. They watch riverdale and constantly sweep their hair back in a specific stylistic choice bc he likes looking like that. he fucking decapitated a whole Gorgon and then stole the guy’s snake as a trophy. he says shut up when he’s mad and calls things stupid and says they suck. he’s a teenage girl. he’s. A Teenage boy. He’s non-binary. He sat on the throne of god in grass stained jeans and clunky grandpa sneakers and left it all behind without even blinking as soon as his shitty bunker home called out to him. He sticks his tongue out when he’s focused on something and his left eye pulls up into a squint when he smiles reallt wide and his smile is crooked and he has sleepy eyelids . They decided to defy death herself just to rescue someone he mildly remembered caring about once and then blackmailed a reaper into helping with said rescue plan.
He got turned into the tiniest ugliest dog ever and got a thermometer shoved up his ass in the same episode where he’s narratively symbolized by the ouroboros symbol and makes the deliberate choice of destroying his soul just to selfishly keep his family bc he legitimately cannot handle thinking about losing them without going insane. his nicknames are sweetheart and darling boy and pal and buddy and Jackie Boy and slugger and he apologized to a girl for upsetting her like two episodes after ripping a man’s heart out and eating it raw. He literally actively wants to be a silly little guy that everyone likes but he’s so insane and unwell at the same time. he’s the best character ever and I need the entire world to understand this and to see him as more than just the destiel baby or I will also explode. .
#okay gn I have a teeth cleaning thing tomorrow#that’s enough word salad from me I’m just being autistic and gushing about how much I love jack#spn#jack kline#supernatural#he smiled while he killed Michael too….dont even get me started on what he did with Nick …. god he’s so#he’s so ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️#literally the character of all fucking time I will not be arguing about this I love him so much#jackposting#spn fandom#I’m . Augh .#having emotions sorry gang#liek yes yes we get it he looks like them both can you say something else please#he’s like . a fully functioning person with thoughts and development btw. if you even care#he’s so cool and awesome and silly#category 7 autism event#jack spn#destiel#but only briefly
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So QSMP Prison, right??
Super exciting, and I super wish I'd been able to find that full subtitled Fuga Impossivel to prepare for it mentally, but oh well, time to start thinking
(And note: I wrote this yesterday and just straight-up forgot to post it, so if anything's changed since then and contradicts what I said, whoopsies)
Now for starters, am I the only one who thinks this is a bit out of nowhere?
The Islanders have been committing crimes for QUITE a while, (Especially Tazercraft lmao) so why only now are they imprisoning all the Islanders?? And why are the Eggs being imprisoned too??
If this is for some crimes they committed, then damn they sure took their sweet time on that, huh??
So what if this is for another reason?
Before, when the Black Concrete was being spread around the Island, the Federation sent the Islanders to Egg Island, thinking it would be safe for them. But it wasn't. It got hijacked by the Watcher, and ended up causing way more problems than it solved
Idk if the Black Concrete is still an issue (Though it seems to have mostly resolved for now) but there is ANOTHER issue of the Eye Workers and Purgatory attacking
And the Eggs are in danger, with Empanada even losing a life
What if this isn't necessarily meant as a punishment, but a way to protect the Islanders and Eggs while the Federation tries to figure out a way to defend them from the Eye Workers?
What if this IS how they defend them from the Eye Workers??
They tried sending them off to a nice place, but that wasn't controlled enough, and it ended up becoming the horror show that was Purgatory. So now, time to course-correct in the opposite direction, as hard as possible
Instead of an Island where they can have some semblance of freedom, thus causing them to be vulnerable, they get the incredibly strict environment of a Prison, where they can control everything they do, and everyone that comes in and leaves. They control every threat, thus ensuring that no matter what, the people inside are as safe as possible, to prevent anymore disasters from striking again
And if there's some other psychological effects, making them easier to control afterwards, then so be it. Anything for their Perfect Island, right?
(And just to add, we saw the images of the Eye Workers looking for someone, right?? It's easy to assume that they're looking for Luffy, but I think that maybe they've lost sight of where the Islanders are, specifically because the Federation hid them. I'm not sure on that entirely, since they looked like they were trying to find something yesterday specifically, and the Islanders were obviously still on the Island. For all we know, they're trying to find someone else entirely, and we just don't know who at the moment)
#Also as a Philza main#Who else is anticipating some birdhouse trauma??#He said today he'd chew through those bars with his teeth#And I believe it entirely#And please for the love of god everyone#Stop talking about shoving bananas and burgers in your asses#There's better things you could be doing with them#The food I mean#You gay disasters you#qsmp#qsmp theory#qsmp purgatory#qsmp prison#qsmp event
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I need to redownload kidpix and use it as a photo editor I think. Could you imagine. God when I finish Zora I am gonna have such banger opportunities for fursuit pictures edited in kidpix
#I keep talking abt the zora suit like it’s anywhere near done. I literally just have the base prepped to start work on#I still gotta get foam to bulk it up a bit and see if the fur samples I ordered are good when they get here in like 2 weeks minimum and#then order new teeth and claws and god making paws is gonna be scary and I’ll need to order glasses and piercings too and god it’s gonna be#so muchhhhh. I wanna get an nfc chip to put in their nose too cause the snarl means I can’t do a squeaky nose (good trade off imo) but idk#how nfc chips even work. and the tail is gonna be a nightmare. I think I’m gonna do a 2ft tail max just for my sanity? maybe someday do a#proper long one for situational events/pics but I don’t think I could handle having such a long tail all the time#well anyway#zoracontent
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old math doodle of the one thing that always happens
#even in coatso though Cecil is about to start crying lol. tmhtog is like the opposite of spiderverse it has no canon events#the many hungry teeth of god#tmhtog#cecil iglesias#mark bernard#mythic's scribbles
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Pricking Thumbs - God of Teeth Start.
He dreams but doesn’t sleep.
Roth stirred and groaned, knowing the time. Half-asleep, Roth rose like some limp puppet hoisted by strings. He sat up, allowing his senses to catch up. Shower then breakfast.
Cold water sputtered then came in full. Roth tested the waters, then joined. The shower water washed over his weary frame. Soap in hand, he scrubbed his bluish skin. His mind longs for the warmth of his bed. Little by little, he convinced himself the day could be his. That he can do this.
That kind of thinking pushed him out the door. Kept him behind the wheel for about four decades. It came with self-loathing and bitter spite.
Cereal was all he could afford. He reused old coffee grind for another cup of joe. He forgot about getting groceries again. The mind was bothered by escapism. After work, he drinks and smokes. He gambles and finds love for the night. He finds his escape on the tip of every needle. Roth has yet to find his true escape from everything. That eludes him. So now, he must numb the pain of being.
Headphones blasted music into his ears. Elton John was his morning pick. The cassette was weathered but the music played. He finishes and gathers his clothes. Out of date fashion and weathered black boots was his uniform. Other clothes from another time were in the gloomy closet. Memories from another time when he could accept things. He could find joy, even in this place. That was long ago, far behind.
Unwilling, Roth exited and locked up his place. The hallways and stairs were dead silent. Nobody around, everyone was fast asleep or stranded. He preferred the morning quiet as he walked. The horrible, geometric carpet hurts his eyes. The elevator awaited him. Closing the lift doors, Roth pressed {“ground floor”} and started descending. The elevator rattled and moaned, as weathered, rusty steel grinds.
He dreams and is awake.
Roth thought about quitting for the umpteenth time. Then again, where will he go? What will he do? He wasn’t good at much. Not much at all.
He waited out of sight. He gripped his truncheon with nervous energy.
Roth reaches the ground floor. The doors have trouble sliding open, but Roth frees himself. Then, out of the corner of his eye, he sees someone. Before Roth could turn, he’s struck across the head. A police truncheon smites his head, sending him back. Roth falls back, feeling pain and blood. He tries his best to get up. To fight to do anything. He yelps and screams, as the figure attacks again and again. Fear overcame Roth.
He could see the other’s face. The face was his. The other was him. He was grinning. He was grinning as he attacked him.
Again and again, the truncheon came down upon Roth. Other Roth strikes Roth again and again and again. Until Roth couldn’t move. He was knocked out cold, with blood on his crown. Once finished, Other Roth entered and pressed {“basement”}.
Roth arrived thirty minutes before his shift started. A strange sight, but nobody questioned why. He tackled the work and ferried passengers. He ate lunch with his coworkers and laughed and cackled. He worked. He laughed. He smiles. Roth consorts with the usual crowds he frequents and says every line. Yet, beyond the actions, there was something underneath. A kind of strange mimicry. Nobody could see. A soulless impression. Nobody could care. He had them all fooled.
They all shall dream.
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Here's some screenshots from today. Lots of things happening in Baldur's Gate. I don't think a single thing Majexatli's been thrilled about.
#Eldritch IT Speaks#its interesting having to face Orin bcuz im considering like#Bhaal is the god of murder. Malar is the god of bloodlust and bestial violence. how does that influence things#because on the one hand violence is 🤝#on the other hand Majexatli is good aligned and also probably hates using weapons and killing nonsensically#(majexatli voice) so you stab people and dismember them huh. kinda pathetic that you use a knife instead of your teeth#oc: majexatli#salam plays bg3#the one positive event was probably bottoming for the first time#everything else in baldurs gate has been just one bad thing after another
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Been progressively getting more depressed and weepy on a daily basis about the hopelessness and meaningless of my life n situation n just today realized "oh it's because I go back to school on monday" and I associate school with pain because the seats are always fucking horrible and I always have to do sooo much work and coordination with accommodations, and I have a 3 hour long class this semester that I have to take in order to graduate with my minor and I cannot sit almost anywhere for that fucking long given my health problems. So I'm going to have to probably talk to this professor and beg them to let me stream in-- which will probably not work. My spanish class is in a room with god awful seating. I have one class more than I usually do and even though its a 1 credit class it's still another hour I have to spend in pain.
So all that said, my brain is apparently so traumatized by how awful my pain has gotten in the last 2 years that it's basically triggered by just. school. Probably need some sort of cptsd diagnosis. And lots of therapy. idk guys. I hope I can actually make it to my graduation.
#I don't even think therapy will help me though honest to god#the therapist gonna need therapy for themself after they done with me#Because I will argue w them to hell and back about ʷʰʸ it isn't fair for me to have to dutifully stay alive when#I am just a spectator to everyone else's major life events and milestones#and in private my life and my body continues to fall apart and betray me#And nobody fucking sees it. & If they know what I go through#they lie through their teeth about my value to make *themselves* feel better.#I hate this life and I hate this body I'm trapped in. I hate the world I am forced to live in#I stay because I'm waiting for a good argument as to why my life actually does matter#That and I don't want to traumatize friends and family#Like I need therapy but I also need to talk with like. Philosophers because I highly doubt any psychologist's ability to change how I feel#I've been in appointments and meetings where the therapist genuinely just doesn't know what to do with me.#“it sounds like you're feeling very overwhelmed”#Oh you think????#vent#sorry to be the Bitchy Depressive but#I have a “just get out of your head” mom#and I've tried so many things to do that but to no avail#I need to know that this semester is going to be liveable.
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it’s 3am I’m extremely dehydrated and ate poorly but I m having severe autism symptoms and cannot keep this to myself or I’ll die . I need you to understand that I am irrevocably haunted by these two quirked up artsy male actors and the entire epidemic of quirked up artsy male actors who are all about making real weird slutty art in the name of true cinema and being a slut and also being silly. They’re like an invasive species. I need to smash them with mallets. I need you to just know that. . Thank you
#this doesn’t mean anything please leave me alone I’m sorry#I just had to get it out of my head or I would never be able to sleep#cal.txt#meow meow posting#leigh whannell#alexander calvert#special interest is specially interesting today ..#category 7 autism event#I am putting . them in a. blunder blender#if they met I think it would kill god personally#actor men can never be normal. they’re either painfully normal and talentless and kept afloat by their faces#or they’re these guys.#.god . .#I don’t even know how to explain it or put it into words I can’t I just don’t . I can’t.#grips your shoulders tight and sinks my teeth into your arteries so you don’t remember this bc I’m embarrassed#Alexander ��cinema should be slutty and filthy and grimy again’ Twitter post repost calvert.#okay then! be a slut. I support you girl inlvoe u#I’m so stiredp sorry#spn#sawposting
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hi
#my phone is overheating idk how this has happened#anyways#i had to go in and redo my drug test sample for my new job cause the lab lost my original one :’)#so it’ll be another two weeks until i can start again :’)#which will be the same week i get my wisdom teeth removed :’)#im doing GREAT#on one hand : this means i can tier mmj event next week without worrying abt work#on the other hand : i have to pay for the rest of my dental procedure before i even start my job#god help me#snow.txt
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All Gods Welcomed Sale
This month, Highgod Originals has in-world sales for the holiday season.
Happy Halloween Second Life! This month, Highgod Originals has in-world sales for the holiday season. This All Gods Welcomed Sale is a month-long sales event. 🎃 Highgod Jade Glow Grillz are on sale 🎃 Get any Highgod Glowing Jade Grillz for 30% off! This sale is from 10/07/24 – 11/07/24 Highgod Originals TruckLoad Location: http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Montisigard/41/204/70 Find other…

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#accessories#All Gods Welcomed#blog#event#fall#game art#game design#gaming#glow#glowing#grill#grillz#Halloween#highgod originals#immersive arts#immersivearts.design#in-world#jade#jewelry#LGBT#LGBTQA#pride#Sale#second life#SL#store#teeth#virtual world
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halfway through...
#the entire thing went from like 3.9k to nearly 5k and im still not done 😁#this is literally the longest chapter yet and thank god its feelinf easy to write if not dragging bc otherwise this would be like pulling#teeth. esp as the first chapter to get back into editing with#i was considering to maybe try to knock out the next chapter as well but lol. lmao even...#still very pleased with the progress !!!! i think ill take a quick intermission to post the final thing of the event considering its midnigh#and then ill get back into it yippeeee
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not to keep harping on this but if you HATE shaving your body or any other part of your "beauty routine": stop doing it. just stop doing it, at least for a little while (maybe when you don't have a lot going on if that helps) and HONESTLY gauge how it makes you feel. is this feeling better or worse than the amount of time, stress, and money the routine takes? do YOU actually prefer how you looked before, or are you only worried about what others think? if you stopped doing the routine forever, could you find other ways to feel better about yourself with that energy?
when I was like 19 and the idea of not shaving my legs anymore first occurred to me (bc I had a Cool Progressive Boyfriend that Didn't Care) i just stopped and it was immediately like... a quantifiably large chunk of unnecessary anxiety just sloughed off my life forever. instantaneously I got rid a bunch of effort and stress I had been accepting as normal, and replaced it with more time to do what actually made me feel 'ready' in the morning, like hygiene, coffee, preparing for my activities etc.
and i DONT feel self conscious about body hair personally but even if I did, no amount of shame over hair could outweigh how much easier my life is. not just bc 'shaving annoying' or 'long showers' or whatever, but like. yeah I don't waste as much time getting ready anymore, and I also don't have to realize last minute before some leg-showing event that im unfit for display and have a whole self-esteem plummeting anxiety attack about whether I should rush it unsafely and risk being late, cut up, and stressed out before the event, or go With Hair and feel judged the whole time. i don't have to go through any of those emotions and when anyone does comment on my hair rudely, im in a much healthier place to deal with it and tell them to fuck off rather than validate THEIR fucked up standards by feeling bad.
once I realized I didn't give a shit and neither did anyone I cared about, it also gave me the freedom to cut out a bunch of other shit I was only doing (or Thinking I Should) bc it was what girls Have To Do to be presentable. fuck shaving fuck waxing fuck eyebrow shaping fuck concealer fuck multi step skincare fuck shapewear fuck lip fillers fuck contouring fuck teeth whitening fuck all of it, you do not need to change ANYTHING about how you look Every Single Day.
for those of you about to say "but I like being shaven/wearing makeup/literally pulling hair out of my face painfully every day etc etc etc":
have fun and mod your avatar all you want but for gods sake if you hate it and complain about how long it takes and all the stuff you "have" to buy or do just to "get ready" - you do not have to. you're not just having fun. you are not getting Ready, you are making your mood and experience worse for yourself, which is going to make you feel unready and unprepared for actually being yourself comfortably.
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