#God is kind of a dick

[puppetmaster13u]

Prompt in Memes 4

Another prompt, but in memes because trying to gather my thoughts is hard sometimes lol.

[necrotic-nephilim]

jealousy really is the driving force of DamiTim as a ship. love that for them. love how Tim has the Robin mantle ripped away from him and he has to suffer the jealousy of watching Dick and Damian bond. how possessive over Dick Tim can be, to have him stolen by Dick.

even more so though, is the jealousy from Damian. how on earth do you cope when you finally get to be Robin, a role you've convinced is your birthright, and no one really likes you? every prefers the Robin who came before you? Dick regularly reminds you that he can always go and call Tim back when you act out? like the complex Damian has over Tim is unreal. Tim, who was born with a silver spoon in his mouth and had everything handed to him his whole life. he never had to struggle or fight for his place like Damian did. Damian has spent his whole life fighting and proving himself, and yet he can't ever seem to truly claw the mantle of Robin away from Tim. even when Tim lets it go, becomes Red Robin, they seem to share it. Tim can slip back into the role of Robin whenever someone like Dick or Bruce need him to, because *he's* the Robin who they need. he's the Robin who was able to find Bruce. he's the Robin that Ra's wants an heir out of. he's the Robin who even Jason respects. in Damian's eyes, everything Damian has fought tooth and nail for, was handed to Tim.

so of course he's going to react to Tim with violence and aggression, especially after finding out Tim has contingency plans for him. no matter how much Damian proves himself, he's never going to be enough, especially not to Tim. and so his deep refusal to see Tim as family, to acknowledge Tim's legacy is all driven by such an angry jealousy. Tim understands aspects of Bruce's legacy that Damian doesn't, like the need to sweet talk and play nice with the elites of Gotham, even if they're corrupt. they exemplify different aspects of Robin, and the aspects that Tim exemplifies are the aspects that Damian knows he'll never fully understand and therefore holds such a deep contempt for. he wants to fight criminals, not play nice with politicians. Tim understands the side of Gotham that's utterly foreign to Damian. if anything, he represents that side of Gotham, to Damian. a pretty little rich boy who's nothing but a know-it-all and not a real son of Bruce. he can't be a Wayne. he can't be Damian's family.

and all of that angry jealousy leading to unhealthy obsession turned a weird, angry crush from Damian is just my bread and butter. that is how DamiTim should be. to me. Damian obsessed over hating Tim Drake so much he accidentally ends up sort of in love with him and that only makes Damian angrier. because he can't prove everyone right by *also* liking Tim. he can't let Ra's win like that, because frankly why wouldn't Ra's be delighted by Damian and Tim getting together. and it builds and builds with angry passive aggression towards Tim that culminates in angry hate-fucking-that's-not-just-driven-by-hate. love and hate are always viewed as opposites in shipping and i think they're the same intense passion just in different directions. and for the best ships, they're very intertwined. what is DamiTim is not the peak of that. "i put so much of myself into hating you i had no choice but to fall in love with you somewhere along the way" core. love that bleeds into hate and hate that bleeds into love. "you make me so angry i regularly passively try to kill you but not with any real effort because who would i obsess over if you were actually gone" core. murder attempts as a form of courting. contingency plans to take each other out as a love language. they're unwell.

[all-purpose-dish-soap]

real quick. to the the anon in my inbox a few weeks back asking about how free use medic came to be the agreed-upon method of stress relief for the whole of 141: i love you, you're perfect, i'm not ignoring you; i am drafting in direct response. several things.

at the anon who sent me the ask minutes ago about a particular au with Soap: good god. good god. i have 8 solid hours of meetings tomorrow and that's all i'm gonna be thinking about. thank you for the brain rot. rip.

[spacedace]

Damian doesn't know who Santa Claus is and Danny tries to gaslight him into believing in Santa

Okay but, like, wouldn't even be gaslighting! Santa canonically does exist in the DC universe, I think I remember reading something about him fighting through an army in hell to give Darkseid a single piece of coal once?

So like, Danny doesn't have to gaslight Damian into believing Santa's real, he just has to pull out the proof (Danny has a binder of everything he knows about the Spirit of Christmas for the purpose of when he eventually goes to war with him, Danny hates Christmas so fucking much haha) and show him evidence that Santa is real.

Probably ranting the entire time about how much he hates the guy & Christmas and it's obvious that this is Danny's arch nemesis. His one true villain above all others. Pariah Dark? A nuisance. Dark Dan? Just a tuesday. Santa? That motherfucker is the bane of Danny's existence and he will pay for what he's done (spread Christmas cheer).

And Danny's the newest member to the family. Damian's been encouraged to get to know his new brother and try and bond with him a bit, make him feel like part of the family. So, obviously, the best way to do that is to help Danny in his quest for vengeance.

And of course Tim & Jason end of getting roped in on this. Damian's grown since he's first came to live with his father. He still is a little brat to his older brothers - he's the baby of the family it's his right - but he doesn't actively hate them anymore and can admit when their particular skills would be useful. Tim is the best at strategizing, and Jason is a combat master with access to all sorts of weapons. With all of them working together Santa has no chance, they will destroy him.

Which all just makes me think of something like this happening lol:

“What…uh, what are they doing?” Duke glanced between the chaos unfolding in the family room to where Dick was calmly seated in his favorite chair, sipping idly at a cup of coffee.

“Sibling bonding.” Dick said. There was that specific aura of calm around him that said that he’d already gone through several crisis and all the stages of grief at least twice. Considering the calamity and chaos the eldest batkid had seen over the years - and especially the last few months since Bruce officially adopted Danny and brought him into the fold - it was a bad sign that he’d reached this particular state of Done (TM) before noon. The earliest Dick even woke up was two in the afternoon.

Duke contemplated turning around right then and there - the particular combination of people all excitedly feeding off each other’s feral energy on the other side of the room was a catastrophe in the making he didn’t want to be anywhere near when it finally breached containment and spilled out into the wider world - but unfortunately he was cursed with the curiosity that afflicted all members of the bat clan.

“It looks like they’re plotting to try and kill Santa Claus.”

Dick turned to look at Duke fully for the first time since he’d entered the room. He had the eyes of one that was deeply haunted by the horrors they had witnessed. On the other side of the room Tim was ranting about anti-magic tech while Danny, Damian and Jason argued over what weapons would be most effective against a demi god. There were schematics of what looked worryingly like a rocket launcher looking device that - if the scribbles on the whiteboard someone had drug into the room where to be believed - was going to be rigged to shoot ecto-grenades.

“Danny hates Christmas.” Dick said, and Duke noticed for the first time that his hands around the coffee cup were faintly trembling. “He’s declared Santa is his arch nemesis.”

Duke blinked, glancing over to the others long enough to see Danny start frantically scribbling the words Christmas Nuke on the whiteboard. No one else was trying to erase it. Tim looked worriedly contemplative. Damian and Jason where both nodding in agreement.

He was going to regret this. “But Santa isn’t real?”

Dick’s eyes gained a faintly manic glean, and Duke could faintly hear the sound of porcelain creaking warningly beneath the desperate hold he had on his coffee cup. “That’s what I thought!” Dick said, with enough cheer to make Duke flinch back instinctively. “But apparently he is.” A distinct crack appeared in the cup, coffee dripping down into Dick’s lap. “And apparently they’re going to war with him!”

Well, Duke considered, at least that explained why he caught the four of them burning down the giant Christmas tree in the city center last night.

[tang3r1n]

cute idea but hero!chizome grappling with a hopeless crush on all might’s daughter figure (jus a chick he took under his wing izuku style)

like UGH. he’s such an old-school gentleman FUCK. he sends flower bouquets with your favorite flowers and like a 4 page letter with the most beautiful and eloquent language used to talk about how in love he is, and he talks like he’s fucking dying. exhibit a;

“i would lay myself at your alter, goddess, my insides laid out for your tasting, your pleasure— please eat of my flesh, consume me whole and let me feel accomplished as a simple, filling meal for you.

oh i beg of you, let my soul forever intertwine with yours, let me feels the silk of your skin, the heat of your breathe, plunge your hand into my heart and cherish it. sink your teeth into my neck and devour me.

i yearn for you, lovely thing. warmly, obsessively, lovingly, carnally, i can only hope you pity my foolish desires— my insane ramblings of fanatic and desperate attempts to gain your affections. please, please by the grace of all that is just and fair, let me worship you. let me treat you as you want to be.

i pray to no god but that of your body, of your mind, of your soul. there is no religion outside of your teachings, my muse. your word is my law, my written oath, music in the grand hall, the rain, the air, the existence of love. i would sooner accept death and the failure of my life’s work than to even acknowledge the existence of beauty that shines brighter than yours.

i beg of you, let my lowly hands hold you, let my soiled and ugly form touch and feel you, let me court you, my fair woman.

let me love you.”

omfg and he’s so petty. randoms in the street and fellow heroes flirting with you? he’s sighing and scoffing dramatically before completing dissecting their speech patterns, body posture, heroing skills, physical appearance, literally anything he can to make them leave you two alone

i feel like he doesn’t care abt how he looks (i mean duh no nose.) but the second you mention liking muscles he’s suddenly finding excuses to flex and stretch around you non stop, he’s doubling up his workout routine and bulking like a MOTHER FUCKER to see if you’re staring yet.

AAAHHH idk i just love chizome and need him insanely badly.

[spahhzy]

Angel: God, we have another prayer request for inner peace!

God of Light: Ah okay uh you know the drill... make them sick.

Angel: Ah, God, they actually specified that what they mean by peace is 'not you taking away their health, so they can feel grateful when they have it back'

God: Lemme guess...an Arc again...

Angel: Jaune, sir.

God of Light: Ah, it's that Jaune fellow again...ungrateful man... Okay then, uhmm...kill their mom?

Angel: Jaune, already thought of that in contingency subsection alpha: Do NOT HURT MY LOVED ONE'S

GoL: Oh gosh, whatever happened to 'Let your will be done' okay um...oh a natural disaster!

Angel: Nope, right after he followed with: This also means don't hurt other people, including the ones I don't know.

GoL: Ah darn it okay okay uh thinking on my feet here uhm oooh! Oh! Take away his job!

Angel: 'Don't take away my job' he said that specifically.

GoL: Oh my me....stupid arcs...okay what if we killed him in his sleep peacefully?

Angel: 'I would also like to remain alive and live my originally intended life span'

GoL: Didn't my brother give them like abnormal lifespans...fuuuuuuu-okay okay, uhm...what if we sent him uhm...a criminal mute as a girlfriend?

Angel: Oddly specific, but *checks the paperwork* huh...we can do that!

GoL: ahahaha got him, oh, and make sure she's enemies to his best friend that will spicen things up.

Angel: Alright, sending 'Mute Madness Package' to one Jaune Arc... now!

[frogaroundandfindout]

Cassie is overwhelmed by Phobos’ influence and lashes out at Tim. Dick knows nither he or Tim can match her Amazon strength and helps Donna overcome her fears so she can go talk sense into Cassie (Wonder Woman #167)

[milksteakkk]

writing evan as sarcastic and irritable in kleinsen fanfics is not mischaracterization. in fact i highly encourage it

[redrobin-detective]

This is an announcement and a promise: if you are a bad nurse, I am coming for you. If you are rude and judgemental to patients, deny them basic human decency you will face my wrath. If you take shit care of them, think you know better than not only the patients and your coworkers but the whole medical team then you cannot hide from me. I will find you and I will go toe to toe with you bc even the worst human alive deserves care and respect and I will beat that lesson into you and maybe make you grow a heart.

[angelswitxh]

I wish I had someone to do like a 24 days until Christmas edging challenge. Mommy giving me an advent calender on the first of December but inside each of the compartments with a little note, lovingly written out by her, with a different position or toy written on it that she's going to edge me with, increasing the number everyday so on the first she edges me once, on the second she does it two times, so on so fourth.

I want Mommy to watch me cry and moan as she keeps me denied and leaky and whiny, watch me shake ane tremble and beg and for her to tell me no. Listen to her say things like "Shhhh puppy, good boys don't whine, and your a good boy aren't you princess? You'll get to cum soon baby, be patient for mommy" and "aren't you Mommy's sweet little whore? Such a good puppy, so handsome when your crying for Mommy to let you make a mess in her hand!" While she squeezes my cock and pulls on my hair. Mommy controls when I feel good and when I'm allowed to make a mess of myself for her, and she loves seeing me leaky and whiny and punishing me/chastising me for it

Finally after 24 agonizing days of being edged and denied, it's Christmas morning. The soft glow of the Christmas tree cast long shadows across the room, opening gifts with Mommy like normal and enjoying each other's company, when I get to her final gift for me. Mommy having me sit next to her, her fingers curling in my hair as I open it, watching my face as I see the pair of lacey panties she bought for me with a cute little silk Christmas trees sewen onto the front.

Mommy leaning over, her grip tightening in my hair as she says "Aren’t they just perfect for my little princess? You’re going to look so cute in these, aren’t you, baby? Put them on."

Mommy watching lovingly as she makes me put on a little strip show for her before I put on the panties, circling me and tracing the outline of my cock through the fabric, grabbing my chin to make me look at her, pinching and teasing my nipples as she compliments and humiliates me

"Oh, look at you, My poor little baby looks so pretty in pink. Doesn’t he, puppy? Such a whore for Mommy’s attention"

Mommy seeing how needy I am, laughing at me for it, teasing me, slowly rubbing my cock through the panties and watching me fight the need to hump and thrust into her hand, "Aww, does my baby want something? Tell Mommy what you need, princess."

Not being able to get out much more then "please" and "mommy" and needy whines, my mind too foggy to form words, so desperate to cum after 24 days of being edged and denied.

Mommy ordering me to get on my knees for her, lifting one of her legs slightly and telling me to hump her leg, watching as I grip her thigh and grind against her, cradling my face as I get all teary eyed and desperate. Mommy being so entertained to see me do anything if it means I might get to cum, humiliated and overwhelmed with the need to please her. Finally mommy takes pity on me and pulls me into her lap, tying me wrists and legs up so I can barley move, shushing me every time I try to ask what she's doing and why, "Good puppies don't speak baby, but be patient"

Finally I understand what's happening when I see her pull out a vibrator, turning it on and holding it against me before I even get a chance to speak.

"Time to make up for all those times Mommy denied you princess!"

Mommy pressing harder as she watches my face twist with desperation, needy to cum but unsure if I need permission and too blissed out to speak, my cock straining against the panties. Mommy playing with my nipple with her free hand, squirming in her lap while she coos at me. "Such a good little slut, you love being Mommy's toy don't you?"

Finally she takes pity on me. She grabs my hair and tugs, telling me "cum for Mommy baby boy, be a good little whore" as she turns up the intensity of the vibrator. I'm shaking with need and soak through the panties, expecting Mommy to pull the toy away and give me a break. but she doesn't. I'm whining, confused and getting overstimulated, trying to squirm away from it when Mommy pinches my nipples again and tells me to stop squirming and be grateful for my gift.

"Didn’t I say you were a whore? Again. And thank mommy after each one. Can you do that baby? Can you say "thank you mommy?"

I cry and whine, trying to be good and stay still, stuttering out a "Th- tha...thank y-you mo...momm....my" after each orgasm

By the fifth one, I understand what's going on, that mommy is making me cum for each day I was denied. Each climax leaving me weaker than the last. By the time she stops and finally gives me a break (more to give her wrist a break then give me one) im a mess.

Mommy admireing her work, playing with my body with her hands to work out her wrist, tracing the outline of all of my tattoos, slowly going further and further down until shes tracing the outline of my cock. Mommy deciding shes heard enough of my whining and putting a gag in my mouth. "Poor little baby. Time to keep that pretty mouth busy."

"Look at you, So pathetic, all tied up and gagged. But Mommy loves you just the way you are."

Finally mommy moves the panties out of the way, running her finger over the tip, watching me twitch and cry into the gag. Eventually she decides to turn the vibrator back on.

Listening to her coo at me with fake sympathy, "Almost there, princess, just a few more…"

Mommy pushing me over the brink again and again, watching me spasm and drool and whine incoherently. After a few more rounds she takes the gag out, slowly pushing her fingers in my mouth instead, thrusting in and out and feeling me suck on her, listening to me ragged breathing, telling me to beg for the last one. She pulls out her fingers and plays with my hair while I try to whine and say please, but mommy reigns confusion, "What was that, baby boy? Mommy didn’t hear you."

"Mommy… please…"

She leans forward so her lips brush against my ear and brings her hand up to wipe away the tears that are streaming down my face, "Beg for it properly. Tell Mommy what you want."

"Mommy, please… let me cum…"

For a moment I think she's doing to deny me again, or make me keep begging, but finally she decides I've been good enough and tightens her grip in my hair. She turns the vibrator back on and presses it to my oversensitive tip, watches me cry out and squrim in her lap again, gasping for breath and trying to run away from the sensation and simultaneously get closer to it, while mommy praises me until I cum for the first time. "Good boy! Show mommy how greatful you are, princess."

[bonemeal12]

I love this panel so much. I love this whole issue. look at their little faces :)

[moeblob]

Erin, to her crush: You're a dick

Mason, the crush: I won't argue! But to clarify -

[qiu-yan]

wei ying got away :(

[frogaroundandfindout]

Tim becomes scared when out before Phobos, god of fear, and dick encourages him to remember what Bruce taught him (Wonder Woman #167)

[arkhamsbrat]

sorry to all my lovelies requesting anything abt dick grayson i cannot write for him because i am Literally Him!

dont look at the tags im not writing for him look away

[packedandstrapped]

I got these English Laundry chinos at Costco for $8.

The color is called Perfect For Roadhead Green.