#God I just want to sleep PLEASE
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NEW BIRTHDAY THEME IS OUT!!!!!!!!!!!
BIRTHDAY SLUMBER PARTY, HERE WE COME
I think the theme is more loungewear than straight-up pajamas, but hey, I'm not complaining! (and -- look, we still have the groovies, I'm not giving up hope for animal kigurumi until I gotta)
#art#twisted wonderland spoilers#kutsurogi my room#put on the onesie jamil#man i am absolutely LIVING for jamil's adorable embroidered throw pillows#just offscreen is the wall decal that says 'bless this mess'#gosh though i am ready for a year of COMFY BOYS#does this mean we're going to get some kind of canon confirmation about whether or not malleus needs special pillows to sleep#yes PLEASE#god. i can't decide which would be funnier: mal in sweatpants and a vintage gargoyles (1994) t-shirt#or mal in a full victorian-style striped sleep set complete with nightcap that has a pompom on the end#that jiggles up and down with every HONK mimimimi#(this is probably also what riddle sleeps in tbh)#(ace can't even make fun of him because it's just too on the nose)#and hey twst as long as i have your ear APPARENTLY#i want that halloween event to be real and i want a lilia for it please and thank you 🙏#i know it's not his turn for a halloween card but c'mon. pretty please.#i am asking so nicely
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stay warm! 🌟🍬🤖🎈
#stupid idiot forgot his mittens. to the shredder#merry yurimas.#polysho#project sekai#pjsk#prsk#emu otori#tsukasa tenma#nene kusanagi#rui kamishiro#proseka#Oh my god im waking uo for the stupid broadcast in like 6 hours im dumb as fuck#WEH. WEH#merry whatever the fuck#AUUUUUU excited to have nothing to do and draw for myself for um 12.. days. Oh my god theres only 12 days til 2nd sem. Oh fuck everything#I NEED TO DRAAAAAAAAW.#guys help i was going to draw song covers i want but i need to sleep cause i have stuff tomorrow but listen#if rks gets a snobbism cover i called it. Ok? ok.#i think it would be funny and just if they dont get another duet again. get the ruinene treatment. CAN WE FREE RNN ACTUALLY ITS CHRISTMAS#what was the other thing. um carnival that song i want it added so bad idk if theres sny songs with its letter count but please.#literally played nijiro stories on repeat while drawing this we need them back#fucking NBOODY TOOOOLD ME ITS EMUKASA WEEK ON STIPID TWITTER IM NOOOOTHING IM NOTHIN#i usually acknowledge that i dont have the moxy to do fanweeks but i really want to be drawing more and faster so i will participate.#emurui week is like march iirc. you wont get away from me this time.
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No because then I think about how much comfort and softness Arthur had to give up since his childhood. No parent figure he could actually admire and be proud of. He couldn’t even be a good husband to Guinevere, he had to be a leader and stoic, he couldn’t cry, and those rare moments where we see him letting himself go, he hugs Gwen so fiercely, he smiles so widely, so entirely, and that’s when your heart breaks, because you see him empty, like something’s missing, and then you realise all those small touches between him and Merlin are all he had ever had. Arthur ‘you’re the only friend I have and I couldn’t bare to lose you’ Pendragon; Arthur ‘Why are you so upset?’ Pendragon; Arthur ‘I haven’t seen you smile these past three days’ Pendragon; Arthur ‘I think we would probably get on’ Pendragon;
Arthur ‘Just… Just hold me’ Pendragon.
He treated Merlin like he wanted to be treated. He did it clumsily, but he still tried. Arthur only ever wanted to be cherished with soft care and tenderness, and I’m glad that was the last thing he got before dying.
And from Merlin, of all people.
(let’s also not forget that Arthur held Merlin’s hand before he died. He stroked his hair, and smiled before going away. In the end, that’s all he ever longed for)
#give my man here some cuddles please#i bet he is like a koala when he sleeps AND WHY DO I KNOW THIS?!#because in season five where we see him sleeping with gwen#he is hugging her so close🥲#i want to implode#he is so soft#he just wants some hugs from the people he loves the most#I BET HE NUZZLES#oh my god why am i doing this to myself#merthur#bbc merlin#merlin#arthur pendragon#merlin bbc
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am i gonna put you in the book acknowledgements am i gonna be able to say your name without flinching am i ever gonna get a word in edgewise am i ever gonna recover the time i spent with you. computer virus kid; i arrived in your life already begging to be let in. somehow insecure i could even be your friend. like you had a line outside the door and we were all shifting our weight, begging.
you're so fucking good at that - at making people feel like they need to earn you, like you're a commodity none of us can afford. no kindness or careful communication could work on you - you were so good at just going-ghost, about deciding someone just wasn't cool-enough. something about that is super ironic. even the parts of it that weren't romantic felt like a romance book. i wanted you to like me so badly i scrubbed myself clean just so you'd spare me - what. your favor? a look?
okay okay okay. it's just a friendship - if it was even true that we were friends, if you even saw me as someone you trusted. on reddit someone would tell me girl literally just cut her out of your life, it's not that difficult. even i was aware of how fucked up the whole situation was. like, why the fuck do i even care about your approval? you're like, not even that fun to be around. you are often a little bit cruel.
but for almost four years of my life, i thought i had found someone like me. somebody who liked the same things i do. someone who liked to read and who liked making jokes with esoteric references and who spent maybe too much time on the internet and who was absolutely a little bit pretentious. i don't know, something about that was powerful and addictive.
i keep thinking about our last conversation. about how i said - okay, enough is enough. you pushed me too far, you really hurt my feelings.
and how you laughed and said - you think you're the victim?
#spilled ink#warm up#writeblr#she physically assaulted me and then screamed in my face#but not before sh'ing first and blaming it on me#while she was locked in my bathroom. at 1 in the morning#while i begged her to please just calm down and to try taking a deep breath and to go to sleep#and then she was like - ur just like my abuser#bc she had screamed in my face which was triggering to me and i froze like a deer in the headlights#and since i had shut down at that point evidently i was the problem child#i know she is out there telling our mutual friends i abandoned her and it makes me SO pissed off#like dude you spent so much fucking time forgiving & forgetting that your decrepit asshole of a boyfriend#pushed me down in the fucking hallway#but noooo hes <3 troubled <3 at 43 and divorced#bc according to you it's important that u don't '''see anyone as a monster''#but god forbid i not handle you SCREAMING IN MY FACE#i couldnt even get you to say sorry for crossing my original and only boundary you were like ''what did you want me to do''#babe i said 'the bf is not allowed around here he scares me and u said ur broken up with him'#that was the thing i wanted you to do: not fucking invite him to WHERE I LIVED#godddd typing this shit out and knowing it's only 2% of what actually happened makes me feel pathetic#i can't believe i let you treat me like that. you were a TERRIBLE friend.
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Im about to get controversial.
Out of chrollo, illumi and hisoka, hisoka is canonically the least likely to flirt to get anything he wants, if at all.
A lot of people think he's a natural flirt but I fear I couldn't have disagreed more. He only "flirted" a single time and that was solely to piss off machi, knowing she'd never agree. Hot take? He would've never asked if he knew she'd agree.
Also, bro's the biggest humanphobe in the anime. He keeps his distance from everyone. The only human physical contact he ever made was through fighting people. (If you're a person thats interested in seeing more evidence, I have an entire long thread about it on twitter that I do plan on posting here soon)
so u cannot give me 1 reason for hisoka to flirt with someone at a random bar but chrollo and illumi? i can think of a few.
chrollo, he already canonically flirts to get what he wants. straight up goes on dates gets a suit and shit. he has no reputation among the general public that hes concerned of that isnt the spider. Illumi? He's a manipulator. I HIGHLY doubt he never flirted to get something in his life from people who are too easy to win over. He's someone that wouldn't care what people think of him. He's also anonymous. People have no idea who tf he is anyways. If it affected the zoldyck reputation? Thats a different story.
Hisoka? he would fucking NEVER. Him specifically? HE HAS A REPUTATION. And whats that reputation? That hes an absolute disgusting freak that no one should dare to approach. He kills people. He fights live and makes sure the audience is always disgusted and weirded out by his actions and performances. You look at him and you should immediately look away and pray he hasn't seen you.
So riddle me this. If his entire shtick is making sure everyones afraid of him and avoids him, then why the hell would he get himself a reputation that makes him approachable????
Why would he get himself a reputation that makes you, as a person who only ever heard of him picking people up, want to approach him.
On top of that, I just.. don't see him picking random people up..??? random weaklings that dont even know nen????? he literally treats them like trash that inconveniences his time. You're saying he'd EVER give them the privilege of sleeping with him???
And then you'd say, oh so he'd sleep with strong people! HERES THE THING. Why would he sleep with them..... when he can fight them. Him getting off from fighting comes NOWHERE to actual sex. What people don't understand is that he gets off to killing people and seeing them crumble in front of him when they realize theyre going to die. Torturing people to death. What's... that got to do with like. yknow. actual sex bro 😭😭😭😭😭😭
this turned into a huge rant probably but do you know how genuinely depressing it is seeing a unique character like hisoka that gains lust through FIGHTING and KILLING reduced to. sex addict in fics. Like. be so fucking serious right now. He called himself a FIGHT ADDICT in the manga. Can I see more of him actually spending his time killing and fighting people instead of whatever the hell bros doing with a random npc.
Anyways this is also why I hc him as asexual/demisexual NEXTTTT
#When a fic is so good but they make a hisoka a sex god instead of a murderer. like dear god. Ya Allah. Mercy on me.#can i please get more fics where he absolutely fucking murders people in deranged ways like god (Togashi) intended instead of....#(checks notes) .....sex???#sorry to me this is 1 fanon characterization that i just gag from i cannot physically stomach that shit anymore.#also the way he never touched a single human and is not a touchy person yet the musical made disgustingly touchy with everyone including go#i saw red when i saw that one scene.#thats not fucking hisoka morow thats hekosa pedoro#if togashi wanted him to sleep around he would've so simply and easily made him mention that. Like even leorio said he jacks off.#yet togashi didnt. because HE DOESNT.#HISOKA GET BEHIND ME#anyways asexual hisoka morow canon goodnight everyone#also trans hisoka can we get a little more content of that i know its completely unrelated but pls im starving#i would put the “ill do it myself meme” WHICH I DO I HAVE A DEMI HISOILLU FIC but im so slow at writing fics sobs and throws up#hisoillu#hisoka x illumi#illumi#illumi zoldyck#hisoka#hisoka morow#chrollo#chrollo lucilfer#hxh#hunter x hunter#my post#my analysis
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I still think about how Leo’s ideal day out for the fam’s venture into the Hidden City was basically just an effort to get some rest and relaxation because boy does he never get that ever.
#rottmnt#rottmnt leo#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#Leo is that one kid who’s like yeah dude I’m chill I’m laidback#and on the inside he’s just in a constant fetal position rocking back and forth#at least the others got a good amount of time spent in Tahiti but Leo’s out here like please god just one spa day 🙏🙏🙏#no but tbh? it’s genuinely a great look at Leo’s character that he wants to go to a spa to basically just sleep in the sun#it’s not bombastic or flashy or anything he legit just wants a good place to get proper rest and care#that hair spa can catch these hands LET MY BOY HAVE HIS SPA DAY 🔪#HONESTLY EACH PERSON’S CHOICE OF WHERE THEY WENT FOR THEIR DAY OUT SAYS A LOT#like raph wants to emulate who he perceives as those in justice in a desire to become more like the hero he so desperately wants to be#leo goes off on his own in order to let his guard down and actually rest for more than a lackadaisical facade#donnie goes with april not only to salvage his pride and condemn magic but also to hold onto his self worth and genuinely help out#and mikey thrives in family and specifically the harmony within family and how that is portrayed through the act of simply being together#in this essay I will-
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JJK (Toji & Mahito) x I Saw the Devil (K-Movie) Crossover
#jujutsu kaisen#toji fushiguro#mahito#i randomly rewatched this movie a couple of days ago and i instantly just wanted to make a crossover w toji... can u see it...#i can see it..#also chose mahito to be the main antagonist bc yea...#remember watching this movie the first time w sushi and oh my god.... it was good but omg so many uncomfortable scenes#so be warned if u decide to check this movie out as well#also wanted to practice more lighting and background stuff#even tho the bg was so hasty LOL thank god csp got a leaf brush#been talking w friends how gege should make a side story that's toji focused about his life before dying LOL please...#i would love to see his ass sleep around and be a deadbeat#just wanna know MORE but gege... hates us LOL#last time i did a crossover was my mystic messenger x train to busan... that was in 2017 and they look terrible LOL#art#jjk#jjk toji#fanart#artists on tumblr#killamonart#i saw the devil
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ARE YOU ALL GONNA KEEP LETTING ME GET AWAY W/THIS?!?!?!??!?!?! also ourple under the cut cuz i think it looks cool
also heres the sketch tee hee
goodnight
#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#fnaf 3#GOD ITS 12 AM I NEED 2 SLEEP#fnaf springtrap#springtrap#william afton#purple guy#I MADE THE SKETCH AND I#WHEEEEEEEEEW CHILD#PLEASE [PLEASE PLASE I CANT KEEP DRAWING HIM W/WHORE EYES'#(i can and i will)#((you cant stop me))#not TOTALLY satisfied w/the colors but whatevs#FFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUCLKKKK#FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK#HIM HIM HIM HIM#I WANT HIM SO BADLY HELP ME#ALL MY CANVAS IS JUST HIM W/WHORE EYES I CANT DO TIS#WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEH!!!#I CANT BELIEVE#I GOT THE ANGLE OF HIS FACE RIGHT W/OUT USING A REFERENCE#POINTSSSS#WHORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#spacie scribbles
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Who's hand is on Helaena?
#hotd#house of the dragon#please no brutality of women#i just want one season#shes sleeping and aegon doesnt wear silver#that hand looks concerning#helaena targaryen#white short hair?#daemon targaryen i swear to god
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BTW. TO ALL NISHIKI FANS (AND ANYONE INTERESTED REALLY), PLEASE CHECK THIS OUT IF U HAVENT ALREADY.
it's the transcript of an interview with Nakaya Kazuhiro, nishiki's voice actor, held on March 20th,2023!!
THERE'S A LOT OF GOOD ANALYSIS BY NAKAYA HIMSELF. LIKE.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
CHECK IT OUT, THERE'S A LOT OF GOOD STUFF
#akira nishikiyama#PLEASE SHOW UP IN THE TAGS THIS IS IMPORTANT#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA#translation is a bit wonky at parts but its def understandable#ALSO I FEEL VALIDATED IN SOME OF MY NISHKI VIEWS#theres a lot of things iwanna say but also i need to go to sleep god#LIKE NISH WAS DEF JUST FOLLOWIN WHAT KIRYU WANTED TO DO WHEN THEY JOINED THE YAKUZA#HES SO. CODEPENDENT. he good at actin chill at first bUT THEN NO AND '' I AM NOTHIN WITHOUT U''. PLE A SE#ALSO LIKE NISHIKI NEEDS MORE FRENS GOD#LIKE OUTSIDE OF KIRYUS LIL CIRCLE#see this is kinda why i wanted him to meet ichibanasdhgdfh#hE NEEDS AN ICHIBAN IN HIS LIFE#ok sorry this was suppsoed to just me be tellin ya all about this#also i have the transcript saved too jUST IN CASE#also yes i once again stole from discordasfdgd
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Hey there, are you ok?
hey! thank you for checking up on me, this was really sweet!
i SWEAR i did not die. i just got a bit busy doing SladeRobin Week (which i will finish so help me god-) as well as things in my real life. i'm still trying to find the balance of like. fandom creation and working. i am very lucky to have the living situation that i do rn, but it is the sort of schedule where i do have to be ready to watch a baby at really any given point so. it's a tricky balance right now, but i'm going to be active here again! maybe not as many asks answered a day as before, but i want to try to answer like, a few a day and whatnot.
i also think i got briefly overwhelmed, in that i got more asks faster than i answered them. which is the opposite of a problem and something i'm very lucky for! but it did make it difficult for me to keep up and know what to answer next. (this is *not* a discouragement to sending asks! i love them all and pls send as many as you want! i just am a little slow sometimes so i appreciate the patience! <3)
so! i'm back and i'm good, ty for asking! we are back to the regularly scheduled programming <3
#necrotic answerings#this was really sweet anon#like not asking for content. just checking in#made me so soft#also when I initially was going to come back there was you know.#the fucking us election.#and I think it's very fucking clear by the everything about me how I feel about that#I needed a few days to just. handle feelings on all that#also also I started a new show. my partner finally convinced me to watch 911.#so i've been thinking about those lil firefighters.#which. I did make a blog for 911.#haven't posted anything yet! but I made it.#bc godDAMNIT the dead dove scene over there is scarce. fandom full of antis Jesus.#I like a challenge tho. I'm bringing the dead dove to the firefighters not even god can stop me on that one.#I have almost 100 asks to work through.#AND I WILL FINISH THE WHUMP ONES I SWEAR ON MY LIFE PLEASE.#I just had a few weeks of adjustment to both my sister and my brother in law working full time again#I love my darling nephew. but I cannot type and play with him at the same time.#taking care of babies is like. easy until it isn't idk how better to explain it#he will sleep for 4 damn hours and I will be peacefully bored#then he wakes up and wants to fight Jesus.#I don't like kidfic but I could write a good one with this experience by now tbh.
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The problem with anxiety is that it very rarely listens to reason and logic and isn't that a bitch move of a mental disorder.
#i mean fair this is a big reason to be anxious#but it is not helpful or useful or productive#and now I'm gonna be 3 nights with poor sleep#god i hate this brain just be normal about something please#(two weeks from now I'll look back at this post with one of two DRASTICALLY different perspectives)#(i dont know which perspective i want)#fuck off anxiety
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It's hard being someone who does genuinely get infuriated with Ford's actions and acknowledges a lot of his flaws and the people he hurt, while also liking (and relating) to his character enough that I would like him to have nice things sometimes and don't believe he's satan
#hes not my favorite guy#but i keep having to defend him because every time people talk about him its like “YEAH HES A SHITBAG WHO WANTS TO WATCH HIS BROTHER DIE”#“HED PROBABLY LAUGH IN HIS FACE WHILE HE GETS MAULED BY TIGERS”#when i was reading the fanfic O Brother I too thought he was being overly cruel to poor Stanley (in a way that made sense not an ooc way)#but then he like found out the deity that was his entire life was lying to him and that he hurt people#and that he no longer can SLEEP because hell hurt people again#and he has to figure out the impossible answer of what to do while everyone is upset and untrusting of him#and his best and only friend barely can LOOK at him#and all the comments are like “YEAH THIS IS WHAT HE DESERVES!!! FUCK YOU STANFORD”#meanwhile im over here like “oh my god thats so fucking awful!!! i feel so bad!!!”#like he genuinely has NO ONE right then thats fucking awful#its Jonathan Sims all over again except even the AUDIENCE hates him and like?????? please hes just misguided he does NOT deserve this#stanford pines#ford pines#gravity falls#again let me clarify HES NOT EVEN MY FAVORITE GUY#i obsess over him occasionally but im a Stanley defender through and through AND YET#i keep having to say “guys. hes not as bad as you guys think. and Stan isn't as GOOD as you guys think. GUYS. PLEASE.”#it truly is interesting how different focuses on characters influence the audiences perspective of them SO MUCH#because ngl remember how i mentioned J Sims?#i really feel like Jon and Ford are similar#meddled with deities they didn’t understand. had paranoid tendencies. isolated themselves often. had selfish tendencies.#often rude and abrasive but also had a heart#and again the audience LOVES Jon and hates characters for disliking him#but this audience (which probably is the same people too lol) hate Ford and feel vindicated when characters dislike him
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I'm so tired. what is wrong with me
#rambling#two and a half hours of sleep at best#I can't sleep without taking melatonin and once I wake up it's over. my stupid cat was crying at my room door#I feel sick. I'm so frustrated. Why do I feel sick????#I just want to rest God please
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can’t stop thinking about all the possibilities for her in S2
Men DNI
#I wanna see her lead zaun even tho I feel it’s somewhat unlikely#I want her backstory#fuckkk they better not do her dirty :((#im emotional and im stressed and ive cried 3 times today thinkinf about her#uhh god im vrying again 😭#ugh#fuck im thinkign too much i cant even write down what else i want to see of her#I want to see her living a happy peacful life away from zaun with a smile on her face in 4k#I also wouldn’t mind seeing her naked#I wanna see her pretty scars#also please add renata to the show#Im not a fan of ‘renata is sevika!!!!’ theory because. it just doesn’t make sense to me.#and idk it feels like it takes away from sevika as a character#also#they dont even look the same. the only similarities i can see are the arms.#idk where people pulled that theory from#ALSO another reason i dont like it is because i think renata and sevika should bang#i dont want them to be the same singular person because I want both of them at once 🫶#sevika#arcane#<3#there’s def a lot more to list but i can’t think rn so im gonna go sleep:3
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Grant: “I just need you to be complacent.”
He wraps his hands around my neck and begins to squeeze.
Grant: “So that we can go home together.”
I scratch at his hands, trying to dig my fingers underneath them but it’s to no avail.
Grant: “Please darling . . . just go to sleep.”
He squeezes tighter. I feel my head swell, a dizziness takes over.
Player: “P-ple . . . ase . . . s-stop . . .”
Grant: "Just . . . sleep . . . and then I can let go."
#Hnnggggggg 🥴#Oh my goddddd um WOW okay!!!!#I'm going insane#ouuuughg holy shit#hes so hot im sorry#I LOVE WHEN CHARACTERS FEEL SAD HURTING SOMEONE BUT NOT ENOUGH TO STOPPP!!!!#i need a moment to breathe#LITERALLY#IM??????#WAWAOWAWOOWOWOWOW#OHHHHHHHHHH MY GOD .#Grant is terrifying#biting him biting him biting him#aaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAA ohhh my god ohhhhhhh my godhxgdg#If you refuse to go to sleep and try to stay awake Grant will accidentally strangle you to death.#Since he's SO CONVINCED you'll eventually just submit. It's one of the few endings where you're killed.#HELP#i’m so in love with him please#RUFFRUFFBARKAKSDNKSNDBARLBARK#He needs therapy sooooo bad#i want him#TakenForGranted#Being strangled to death is actually one of my biggest fears LMAO#Unknown Visaul Novel#Grant Turner#UnknownVisualNovel#Tw Strangling#Strangling#Tw Strangulation#Strangulation
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