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accio-victuuri · 1 year ago

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an analysis : Xiao Zhan + The Moon & Sixpence 🌖

as usual with xzs videos like the one just released, you can make an entire thesis into the possible meanings of every chapter and frame. add it’s relation to xz and if you’re a pro, go deep into the techniques they used in shooting and editing. this one tho is centered around the theme of “the moon and sixpence” which is a book xz recommended before. I saw a few articles linking this to the elements on the vlog and so i looked into it.

i have lightly talked about some elements from the vlog yesterday but focused more on the quotes that appeared and the music chosen.

it’s been years since he mentioned this book and he didn’t even say that it’s his all-time-favorite. for example, the van gogh elements, we expect that already to be a recurring theme. as well as the moon, but this one has another connection to it. i am honestly curious where his headspace is at, and why, in this specific point in time he felt so close to the message of that book or some parts of it.

let me start with a synopsis and the book is available on googlebooks if you wanna try it out like i did. 🔖

with the plot alone, you can get a sense of why he would like it. at the time he read it, he was not yet the superstar xiao zhan that we know now. and this is why i guess he related to it more now. especially the sacrifices he has to make for the path he has chosen. this was evident in his GQ cover story interview where he compares himself to his other friends and how they have normal lives. the books is written in the first person POV of narrator who is looking into the stockbroker turned artist Charles Strickland. you get to see the thoughts of the narrator and how he views the main character of his story. the way i see it, the narrator is “Xiao Zhan the person” and how he sees “Xiao Zhan the public personality”. this concept of two sides to him was opened up in his esquire cover story and i can’t help but think it relates to this story.

i will be heavily quoting passages from the book that attracted me and i personally thought relates to xz. this is my personal interpretation only.

The greatness of Charles Strickland was authentic. It may be that you do not like his art, but at all events you can hardly refuse it the tribute of your interest. He disturbs and arrests.

the story starts of with this line and well isn’t this one way to describe xiao zhan? he has always been described as authentic and the “real deal” as far as idols and actors go. not many people are expected to like him or be part of his fan club and chase him — however, one thing is clear: he disturbs and arrests. his popularity is something that is unheard of and many artist and companies try to replicate. he is a disturbance to the norm in c-ent and why he is a constant target. it’s his biggest asset and liability. something like MFW and stepping out of his home is also expected to attract all kinds of attention. He is aware of that.

“His faults are accepted as the necessary complement to his merits. It is still possible to discuss his place in art, and the adulation of his admirers is perhaps no less capricious than the disparagement of his detractors; but one thing can never be doubtful, and that is that he had genius. To my mind the most interesting thing in art is the personality of the artist; and if that is singular, I am willing to excuse a thousand faults.”

this is in the POV of the narrator, describing the artist he is writing a book about, Charles Strickland. the message of this quote is similar to the one i mentioned above. xz is not perfect and people, specifically his fans should accept that. it’s what makes him more real. through his wins and losses, he is still xiao zhan.

“It is a salutary discipline to consider the vast number of books that are written, the fair hopes with which their authors see them published, and the fate which awaits them. What chance is there that any book will make its way among that multitude? And the successful books are but the successes of a season. Heaven knows what pains the author has been at, what bitter experiences he has endured and what heartache suffered, to give some chance reader a few hours’ relaxation or to while away the tedium of a journey. And if I may judge from the reviews, many of these books are well and carefully written; much thought has gone to their composition; to some even has been given the anxious labour of a lifetime. The moral I draw is that the writer should seek his reward in the pleasure of his work and in release from the burden of his thoughts; and, indifferent to aught else, care nothing for praise or censure, failure or success.”

this next passage makes me think of the projects he has done and what it must feel like for him. there are a lot of dramas/movies that come out every year and what we repeatedly hear from xz is that he only wishes to bring good works. something people will enjoy and appreciate— never mind the popularity that comes with it. he just finished filming a big project LOCH which i can only imagine is so stressful to him. and now is working on another historical drama.

he is someone who immerses himself in the character and once it’s done, it must be a huge weight off his shoulder. like what is said — seek reward in the pleasure of work and in release from the burden of his thoughts.

“Then, what in God’s name have you left her for?’

‘I want to paint.’

I looked at him for quite a long time. I did not understand. I thought he was mad. It must be remembered that I was very young, and I looked upon him as a middle-aged man. I forgot everything but my own amazement.

‘But you’re forty.’

‘That’s what made me think it was high time to begin.’

i think this one is pretty self explanatory, how he started in the entertainment circle a little bit later in his life. compared to his peers. but the answer was simple to him as it was with Strickland, in his case, “i want to sing.”

‘I tell you I’ve got to paint. I can’t help myself. When a man falls into the water it doesn’t matter how he swims, well or badly: he’s got to get out or else he’ll drown.”

this message seems similar to the one quoted on the vlog about about the rivers and small streams. in this one, it emphasizes how one should not be afraid to take the small step of “swimming badly” in hopes that someday they will wade the waters more efficiently.

“But here was a man who sincerely did not mind what people thought of him, and so convention had no hold on him; he was like a wrestler whose body is oiled; you could not get a grip on him”

If there was something in this book the describes XZ so perfectly — it is this one. I think he is not devoid of over thinking about what people say or being a people pleaser. but in recent times, i am seeing a change in him and how he is more calm. a freedom in the way he speaks, the truths he is no longer holding back. he is not afraid to be different anymore.

which led to that GUCCI outfit. LOL! 🤣🤣🤣

‘Look here, if everyone acted like you, the world couldn’t go on.’

‘That’s a damned silly thing to say. Everyone doesn’t want to act like me. The great majority are perfectly content to do the ordinary thing.”

so true. a great majority wouldn’t and couldn’t do what he does. just looking at the chapters in the vlog, from going to a distant place and dealing with the MGW chaos. after that, being only afforded a small time to decompress and sit. to enjoy the sunset. that’s what his life is.

“I don’t pretend to be a great painter’, he said. ‘I’m not a Michael Angelo, no, but I have something. I sell. I bring romance into the homes of all sorts of people. Do you know, they buy my pictures not only in Holland, but in Norway and Sweden and Denmark? It’s mostly merchants who buy them, and rich tradesmen. You can’t imagine what the winters are like in those countries, so long and dark and cold. They like to think that Italy is like my pictures. That’s what they expect. That’s what I expected Italy to be before I came here.”

i would guess this is how he sees his work. he never claimed to be the best, you can see that with how he always mentions wanting to be better. he wants to give the people a positive view of life. which i can clearly see from the vlogs even, makes you wanna go where he visited.

“A man’s work reveals him. In social intercourse he gives you the surface that he wishes the world to accept, and you can only gain a true knowledge of him by inferences from little actions, of which he is unconscious, and from fleeting expressions, which cross his face unknown to him. Sometimes people carry to such perfection the mask they have assumed that in due course they actually become the person they seem.”

another one that i think describes xz. his little actions that we see reveal his true self —- the gentle, funny and dorky xiao zhan which is a contrast to the character he sometimes has to portray. it’s when we talk about his duality, the way he was posing and “game face on” for GUCCI but when he did the interview you can see the dorky xiao zhan 😂

there are times that xiao zhan merges some of the qualities of his celebrity side and i think it’s perfectly person. it is a huge part of his life, and the way i see it, his experiences only make him a better person.

“I have an idea that some men are born out of their due place. Accident has cast them amid certain surroundings, but they have always a nostalgia for a home they know not. They are strangers in their birthplace, and the leafy lanes they have known from childhood or the populous streets in which they have played, remain but a place of passage.

They may spend their whole lives aliens among their kindred and remain aloof among the only scenes they have ever known.

Perhaps it is this sense of strangeness that sends men far and wide in the search for something permanent, to which they may attach themselves. Perhaps some deep-rooted atavism urges the wanderer back to lands which his ancestors left in the dim beginnings of history.

Sometimes a man hits upon a place to which he mysteriously feels that he belongs.

Here is the home he sought, and he will settle amid scenes that he has never seen before, among men he has never known, as though they were familiar to him from his birth.

Here at last he finds rest.”

read that again. it’s a lovely way to put into words what i imagine is something that not only xz goes through. we know what kind of environment and country he lives in, i’m not trying to get political but you get the point. being a celebrity or public personality like him is vastly different from how it is with the rest of the world. i have always admired how he handles it all with grace, how he he willingly accepts the responsibility and burden of being who he is. and that’s why i was also surprised by his answer when asked about a parallel world and he answers about a superpower where he can make it possible to have no disputes in the world. being in that place, with lots of people around, from different parts of the world probably made him think more about this topic. aside from eating pizza and being his usual beautiful self, he was thinking about some serious issues too.

chapter 1 was about going to a distant place but not really, there was something in that place and experience that feels like a home he longs for.

alternate explanation, this can also mean him living his life as a graphic designer, and then spreading his wings into a different industry — being the place he has sought. but considering the time this was released and where he is now at life, i’m thinking it’s more of the former.

so busy yearning for the moon that he never saw the sixpence at his feet. 🪙

this imagery at the end of the vlog + the coin he holds + the quote fits so well together. the way i see it, XZ is doing both. he appreciates the moon, he looks up to it but he doesn’t miss to see and hold the sixpence. it’s why he is holding on to it, in some, it was even rolling on it’s own towards him. and it’s not just the proverbial sixpence. he is seeing and appreciating his surroundings —- the egg he ate, laundry, bike etc.

as a fan, this is actually comforting to me. the book itself is not the happiest, which makes sense cause xz prefers melodramatic to downright tragic stories. but it shows a realistic view of what some goes through to pursue their dreams. it’s not as glamorous as what we see on tv or the internet. but the end of the vlog, shows that xz is keeping a balance. he is not just busy looking up at the moon— he is also living his life.

-END.

I first knew about the connection of the vlog to the book via 辉夜姬不叽 and i got hooked into writing something about it and reading the source material. i also liked @resonancewitness interpretation of the vlog, particularly the lines in starry starry night.

#xiao zhan #halfway through making this i thought about why i made it in the first place lol i just got so fixated #reading the book was lowkey therapeutic for me cause it has some good passages about love too ^^#i can’t believe xz made me read book lol thank you xiao laoshi 🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️#i absolutely love the intellectual hipster side of xz never change please

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ryanthedoctor11 · 1 month ago

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Earlier a friend of mine ( @lylaaaaaaaaaaaaaa ) and I were discussing analog horror, and ways to do versions of it based on existing media well without feeling like we are making "beloved character but they are evil" and I wanted to share a couple ideas we had

The first was based on Doctor Who, because I'm me. I think there's actually a lot of potential in a Doctor Who one, obviously there is plenty of potential in Cybermen (and I've actually seen a few do that, though none I've seen have quite lived up to that potential for me). But I want to go beyond that, imagine a character who begins looking into the Doctor (similar to Clive in Rose, or LINDA) and they begin putting out their findings in the analog horror format, because from an outsiders perspective the Doctor could be considered terrifying, this being, always accompanied by a blue box who appears throughout human history, in various places, various faces, but always that box is there, and always that name, "The Doctor" and sometimes this "Doctor" whatever it is, it takes people. Takes them away from their homes, their families, and whatever it does to them in that box they always come back changed in some way. Eventually this POV begins to be tracked by various organizations, Torchwood, UNIT. They have to go into hiding, perhaps they even begin to see the box in various places they go, and disaster always follows until finally they meet it. This creature they so fear, this terrifying entity they have been watching. It reaches a hand towards them and says

"Hello, I'm the Doctor"

With a big smile on their face, and all tension is immediately dropped, because the Doctor isn't a monster or an evil being, they're the Doctor, they offer a Jelly Baby to the POV, get UNIT off their back, and let them go on their merry way.

I just think that would be fun, after all, from the right perspective the Doctor can be terrifying, until you meet them.

The other one we thought of was a Batman one. Imagine a criminal, committing some small act of burglary. But something goes wrong, their friends begin disappearing, one by one, the lights go out and eventually they are the only one left. Finally they see it, this outline, this shadow. With the only thing truly visible being its piercing white eyes, and then it gets them. But then I want the POV to switch (I know what comes next is similar to the Doctor Who one, but please bear with me, the ending makes all the difference). To a bystander in Gotham, someone who lives in fear, fear of the corruption, fear of these terrifying monstrous criminals, and fear of The Bat. This strange mythical creature, which hides in the shadows and preys in the night. Sometimes you hear screams in the night, and you know it has claimed another victim.

Throughout this one we would also see videos compiled as this person looks into the Bat and Gotham's other terrors. Someone caught in one of Riddlers death traps, forced to answer his Riddle correctly or suffer a terrible fate. Someone exploring a run-down fun house, before reaching the end and discovering a man, with terrible pale skin and bright green hair, surrounded by bodies, their faces contorted into terrible smiles, blood running from their mouths like a terrible lipstick. Someone being stalked by various people, so many different faces, different appearances, different heights, but always wearing the same clothes, and always watching them, until finally there is a knock on the door, and they see themselves on the other side, dressed in the clothes of their stalker. There's plenty more that could be done, obviously something can be done with Scarecrow, Poison Ivy could be an interesting one, Grundy could be fun, I'm imagining something can be done with Mr. Freeze, etc.

But in the end the person is still most terrified of, and most interested in The Bat. What is the Bat, is it a man or is it some form of cryptid, are those ears or a mask, is that a cape or wings, are those claws or gloves. Eventually our protagonist is walking down an alley on their way home, when suddenly they are jumped by some criminals. They have no hope of escape. Until suddenly a dark figure descends from the sky, it attacks the criminals, breaking bones, perhaps leaving scratch marks. Until finally it's over, and The Bat begins to approach our protagonist. They begin to scramble away in fear, believing The Bat was here to attack them, here to take them away or kill them, whatever it does to its victims. But it doesn't. It extends a hand towards them and helps them to their feet, before disappearing into the shadows, never to be heard from again.

Was it a cryptid, or was it a man? In the end it doesn't matter, whatever it is it is trying to help, to protect this broken city. Perhaps it can't stop everything, but it is doing what it can, this Bat-Man.

(I also want to make it clear I want it to genuinely be ambiguous whether the Batman of this universe is the one we know, or some form of creature, created by Bruce Wayne's grief and need for revenge after the death of his parents, I don't want there to be an answer, because it simply doesn't matter)

Writing them out back to back made me realize that they are similar stories, but I honestly think the endings do make a difference, while they both ended up providing comfort instead of fear the Doctor was simply... Themself, a madman with a box, and that reveal truly kills all tension. But Batman didn't, the ending was still hopeful, but in a way that to me feels like it makes all the difference, and I don't think I can truly explain.

But those are my ideas, I hope people like them, I doubt I'll ever make them a reality, but it still felt nice to share

#doctor who #the doctor #dw #dr who #analog horror #batman #dc comics #dc characters #dc batman

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elainsgirl · 6 days ago

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Saw a tiktok that said “I’m highly convinced book 6 is going to be about the spring court. It’s Elaine’s turn for a book (and we all know she’s a Spring). The “night court” editions are signifying the end of that part of the series. We are moving into spring. Tam tam might get a redemption. We might find out a certain someone is LUCIENS DAUGHTER.” … This had 24K likes😐

With comments like “I need an Elucien Calanmai scene so his last memory is not of Ianthe” (seriously? so it’s Elain’s job to replace Lucien’s trauma?), “I lowkey hope tamlin and Elain end up together and we never hear about the spring court again 😂” (fuck you actually lmao) and “the last crescent city book set up the next acotar as being another Nesta book! I dont think we've seen it all from Nesta yet”. Not to be dramatic but I would legit swear off SJM forever if I have to read ANOTHER Nesta book before getting Elain’s. I can’t deal with another Nesta story. After Elain’s book, if there’s still another ACOTAR book happening, I want it to be Feyre’s pov again. Or a multi pov. But please not another 600-800 pages of Nesta’s pov. I find her bitterness genuinely exhausting.

But anyway like… how did I end up in enemy territory??😭 Everyday I’m genuinely shocked by people’s reading comprehension. If SJM really goes in these directions, focusing on spring court of all places, after all the foreshadowing of Elain and the prison and her being a seer (which how on earth would that work in spring? who would train her? seriously people🙄), as well as the heavy elriel foreshadowing, then she’s a bad writer. Sorry lmao.

And how are those the main comments? I only saw one rational person telling OP it makes no sense to connect Elain to the spring court just because she likes flowers and gardening and that Feyre herself said Elain likes the night court. The rest of the comments though… YIKES. And I’m filled with such exasperation and the intense need to take each person by their shoulders and shake them. But I don’t wanna get involved in unnecessary fights on tiktok so I just scrolled passed. But I needed to show you how bad it is out there💀

”But I needed to show you how bad it is out there💀” … listen yeah, I haven’t been on tiktok for over a month. My last video was on March the 31st, but idk why today I decided that I wanted to become active again and start posting with the same schedule as last time only problem is the fact that, since I was so inactive for a long period of time - I cant just post videos as they enter review and shadowban, annoying but fine I get it. So basically, I have to start interacting with my fyp again to show the algorithm that im now once again active - so Im here scrolling on the fyp and 5 minutes in, I get a “the NC is so toxic Nesta needs to leave” video, then I get a “Rhys is a manipulator amd terrible partner to Feyre” and finally - I get this pro elucien video where the first slide is Azriels quote, “Lucien doesn’t deserve her” “i can defeat him with little effort” and the next slide was a fanart of Lucien in full on day court battle gear and it said “unleash” something. It had 5k likes and scared asf for my bp, I open the comments. My first stupid mistake. And my god. I had this epiphany as to why I quit tiktok for a while in the first place - the comments were jst filled with hateful arrogance. “Az being afriad of fire and expecting to go against someone w fire” - like, maybe I forgot but when is it confirmed Az doesnt like fire? At the HL’s meeting, didnt he do something with berons flames? Idk. But moving on, they where just makimg fun of Az saying he couldn’t defeat Lucien and want to know what they were using to prove their statement? The fact he calmed Cassian down…they’re rlly out here comparing Cass who doesnt have magic to Azriel whose quite literally compared to Rhys, THE most powerful HL AND the same shadowsinger who went up against Eris and had to be pulled back by Feyre. And whats rlly hilarious is that…he calmed Cass down w a flame in his eyes, it was his autumn power coming to the front - not day yet Lucien mom boys have convinced themselves Lucien will be this powerful day court icon and warrior when he was called Lord of FIRE - a nod to Autumn. Not Day. And after that I considered myself irritated enought that I just went through my mutuals videos which were obviously pro elriel 🙂‍↔️ and that made me feel better.

So I fully understand how terrible it is on tiktok, I literally understand the feeling of irritation and exasperation when reading those comments and seeing those videos. The urge to reply back to them all and shake some good ol canon into their heads but deciding to be peaceful instead because you dont have time or even the energy going back and forth with people that have such a twisted view of canon. I cannot even begin to explain the amount of times I received or even read comments that made me want to bang my head against a wall. I genuinely think that would be less painful. Bright side tho - that video inspired some new content for me to make 😌

Back to the spring video- atp its just insulting Sjm. Like. Come on. She is going to write a better story for Elain then her going to live in Spring with her sisters ex…a character Mass doesn’t even like and why on earth would Lucien be there after what Tamlin did to him? You know that HC of elucien doing it on calanmai gives the same energy as elucien’s romantacising Lucien saying he is a mated male now line…as if the poor guy wasn’t using it as a way to not get SA…I know eluciens dont hve enough pro elucien content but that always makes me cringe.

I highly doubt Mass wants to write about Spring, that woman is fully obsessed with the NC as she should be especially considering HOFAS further leans into the NC so A5 will obviously take place there. For the love of God, I cannot torture myself with another Nesta book. I loved liked tolerated reading acosf because the knowledge of elains book being next made it easier…if I had to wait 4 years for another Nesta book I think I’ll actually cry and just give up with Mass all together. It is bad writing because all the signs in acosf and even both bonuses hint to elains book being next + Mass literally said its one couple per book and I dont see why she’d lie or change her mind about it. It does make her a fickle, untrustworthy author + a bad writer for leaving all those elain/elriel foreshadowings and scenes when she could have focused on Gwynriel/Elucien instead.

Tiktok rlly does shock you with peoples reading comprehensions, but some people do it just for the shock factor so they can gain more views and interaction. You’re telling me, im in enemy territory too 😭 I cant even click disinterested because it ruins the feed I spent 2 years crafting. I went on tiktok this morning about 9 am and it’s currently 2am as im writing this and I have not been on TikTok since. I just cannot deal with seeing anti bs and the worst part is I liked every elriel post I came across from my mutuals so now im just waiting for them to make new elriel content as motivation to enter that pool of hell again. This is why I cannot take antis seriously when they claim to be the minority. You open up any shiprelated video and its 90% just antis stating the wrong opinions and yes in aware, opinions cant be wrong. Yet somehow they manage to do it.

Hopefully we leave enemy territory together soon anon 🫂

#elriel #pro elriel

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everybody-loves-purdy · 5 months ago

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I don’t get why people think people hate Bramblestar just because of the Moonkitti video. I hated him for years before that- it didn’t even affect my view on him ‘cause I hated how boring of a POV he was and how he was so easily manipulated and how he treated the three after their parentage was revealed.

There are many reasons to dislike him that have nothing to do with Squilf. Heck, for a while I hated both of them equally (former Ashfur stan).

Honestly I think it could be down to having a scapegoat, and it’s probably not an intentional thought process for most. If they can conveniently blame people not liking their fav on one specific thing and paint everyone under the same brush, then they don’t have to think or fight about as to why people may have other reasons not to like him other than “it’s because Moonkitti said so” and then completely dismissing her video as just bias (which in itself is very disingenuous).

Granted moonkittis video did most definitely bring the topic of him being an abuser to a wider audience, but a few videos about it came out before then and online discussion about the matter had been pretty rife, she most definitely wasn’t the first, I made a post a post about that topic myself within days of reading SqH when it was released lol. Furthermore a question they should ask themselves is, if Moonkittis video is really that terribly produced and full of bias, then why did so many people connect with it the way they did? Although I guess the answer for that is along the lines of they love Squilf and/or Moonkitti. And there’s been no major pushback against the video as far as I am aware that hasn’t contained biases, like the one TikTok that was going around that was very popular in pro brambleclaw circles that contained claims that Squirrelflight is what drove Brambleclaw to train in the dark forest and that she intentionally used him to make Ashfur jealous (something that is specifically proven false by Twilight). I think it’s very hypocritical personally to claim the Moonkitti video had biases but then turn around and share that and claim it has none.

Also think it’s kind of funny how this 4 year old video is still being blamed for the dislike for Brambleclaw. Apparently no one who watched and agreed with it has thought critically about a character who is still very prominent in the series for 4 years.

This isn’t against anyone who likes Brambleclaw by the way, I do definitely see why he appeals. I personally do really like him up until the second half of TNP! But I really hate how Moonkitti is used and treated as a boogeyman by certain Brambleclaw fans. This poor woman has been harassed to hell and back and is constantly slated by a certain section of fans. Like yeah treating a woman who has done nothing to you except not like your fav like the Antichrist and characterise anyone who has similar views to her as some kind of mindless Squirrelstar or Moonkitti worshipping drone isn’t really going to get anyone on your side.

Don’t get me wrong if a popular creator accused a favourite character of mine that I personally thought was morally good of being an abuser I would be upset too. I totally understand that. I’m not blaming people for being upset but I am blaming them for the ways certain people are channeling this upset.

#flight of the sacred eagle

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littlemoondarling · 1 year ago

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A critical review of a Wendigoon video, pls read it all if you're interested and pls be civil♡♡

Uhm so we all know wendigoon right? Beloved horror youtuber, for good reasons too, his videos have such a comforting vibe that I rewatch them whenever I'm feeling depressed, but recently I got to thinking about a couple of things and they are making me.... slightly uncomfortable with his videos.

The first and biggest thing comes from this video which is about the game "Faith: the Unholy Trinity" which is a game about demons, possession, baby sacrifice, exorcism, etc. All told from a very Christian pov (as most media tends to be) which is no problem, the problems start when we delve a little deeper into the uncomfortable implications about the main possessed girl Amy and her story.

Tldr, she started volunteering at a what is clearly supposed to be an abortion or neonatal care clinic where a demonic cult uses it as a front to sacrifice babies for the evil causes... which idk if you can start picking up on the very concerning implications of that.

Now Wendigoon spoke with the creator of the game who explained that the (what I will call) corruption route that the mc goes through is to make it clear that someone doesn't just get possessed by demons, that they have to go out of their way to get to that point.

And we know that Amy was a good girl before she volunteered in the abortion clinic, which when u visit it (starts in the video at about 2 hours 12 mins) it is made clear immediately that it is not... great.

You first see a letter from the owner who tells the who I assume is the secretary to notify him before returning any calls from the health department because they don't want another "surprise inspection" (the owner is revealed to be a demon and a cult leader btw :))

When you walk further into the clinic, you are met with a disturbing and grotesque demon (which is usual for a horror game but please try to see how the underlying message is clear) where a cop (who is 100% a good guy and hasn't been indoctrinated into the cult) helps you int defeating it. There are also stretchers covered in the blood of the sacrificed corpses under them. It is also made clear that they are injecting the women who seek treatment there with a substance to make them hallucinate and so they don't wake up during the "procedure".

And if you want to get a secret ending, you have to go back and fight a demonic lady who unleashes demonic babies at you who look a whole lot like fetuses but that is just my opinion.

The whole game revolves around a demon cult leader who made an abortion clinic to use the 'babies' as sacrifices and to experiment on the women. If that isn't the most right-wing reactionary Christian pro-life talking points, idk what is.

The issue is that Wendigoon doesn't address the blatant demonising of neonatal care/abortion clinics and the disgusting pro-life implications that are baked deep into the game's DNA, he just keeps praising it and it's creator without batting an eye at any of this. And the comments don't even acknowledge it!

This isn't to cancel wendigoon or anything, I've just been thinking about this specific video for a while and I want to get my thoughts somewhere bc I personally didn't see much talk ab this.

#youtube #youtube drama #wendigoon #faith: the unholy trinity #pro life #pro life rhetoric #ugh #there's also alot of us-centrisim in his videos but i don't expect anything more from youtubers tbh #calling other cultures' cryptids 'just another bigfoot/ lochness monster“ is a bit iffy #but it's not my place to talk ab it #im pro choice in case you were confused #oup i forgor to add tw #tw abortion #cw abortion #tw possession #cw possession

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steggyfanevents · 2 years ago

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#steggyweek23 is July 23 - 29, 2023!

What is Steggy Week?

Steggy Week is a celebration of the Steve Rogers/Peggy Carter ship.

How to join the fun

pick a theme (as many as you like!)

make a fanwork based on that theme

post it on the theme day

tag it with #steggyweek23 and @steggyfanevents (and share to our collection on AO3 if you want to!)

Fanworks can be anything: fic, art, graphics, gifs, videos, playlists, moodboards, headcanons, meta, and more. If it’s pro-Steggy, we’re happy to see it and share it!

Don’t feel like making anything? Try compiling a rec list, or sending a few prompts. Comments and shares are always appreciated too.

Themes and prompts

Day 1 (Sunday) - Headcanons and meta Share a theory or an opinion, or post a fanwork on the theme of a treasured headcanon.

Day 2 (Monday) - WIPs and updates Post a new chapter or the latest part of a series—or share a snippet, sketch, draft, or preview of what you’re currently working on.

Day 3 (Tuesday) - AUs and crossovers You asked for this one! Our most popular write-in theme. Carter and Rogers in your favourite space-themed franchise? Regency-era romance Steggy? We want to see it all.

Day 4 (Wednesday) - Family and friends Fanworks featuring at least one other character besides Steve and Peggy. Family, friends, or both? You decide.

Day 5 (Thursday) - Missing scenes and favourite moments Show us a moment you love—or a moment you wish we’d seen.

Day 6 (Friday) - Multiverse/What If…? Our most popular returning theme, chosen by you! The possibilities of the multiverse are infinite.

Day 7 (Saturday) - Free day Anything goes! See some suggestions from our poll below.

Music/lyrics

old!Steggy

Slice of life

Undercover

Going on a mission

Battle couple

Mutual pining

Words and quotes

Hurt/comfort

Outsider POV

Chris and Hayley in the real world

Partners/The Right Partner

Modern

Role reversal

#steggy #steggyweek23 #type: announcement #steve rogers #peggy carter #agent carter #captain america

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unsponsoreduk · 4 months ago

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Social Media New Year Special 2025

Welcome to Unsponsored and 2025! Happy New Year. Social Media New Year Special 2025 Enjoy! Continue reading Social Media New Year Special 2025

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bluedalahorse · 10 months ago

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Hi Blue!! I’m very interested in the pro choice fic! What is it about?

Okay so this was a post season 2, written pre season 3 fanfic I was working on, and it was quite angsty! Essentially Sara turned out to be pregnant, and decided to get some abortion pills and take them far away from home. She asked Rosh for help, and although Rosh was pissed at Sara, she decided she’d help her all the same. Felice (who was also not talking to Sara) ended up on the journey too. Felice, Rosh, and Sara were the three POV characters, and there would also be bonding, but also a lot of uncomfortable moments and moments of tension, too.

I think I wrote this one in part out of spite, because there were anons arguing that a teen pregnancy plotline would be oh nooooooooooo the worst thing ever, and I was like, hang on, I can actually see one being done well? And fitting into the themes of the show? Since so much of it is about parent-child stuff and cycles of generational trauma. So I started writing.

You can read the beginning of the story over here at this post.

I’m going to include two more excerpts from the story below the cut, just for fun.

Rosh explaining her reasons for helping Sara:

Rosh’s Phone

Messages with Ayub

Rosh: I’m going to be a little further out of range than expected

Rosh: but Sara’s still with me and she hasn’t done anything worrisome

Rosh: you and Simon good?

Ayub: the video games are keeping him busy

Ayub: but he’s pretty pissed you’re hanging with Sara right now, after what she did

Rosh: we’re not exactly hanging

Ayub: I know

Ayub: well. I don’t know. You can’t tell me the details. But I trust you.

Ayub: and I can look after Simon for both of us

Rosh: look I’m pissed too

Rosh: but she came to me, and she asked me to do this favor

Rosh: and I figure I’m being loyal to the part of Simon that wants to keep Sara safe

Rosh: I have to take over that for him, because he has to be angry with her right now

Rosh: and you’re going to stay with Simon and that’s how you and I are going to look after him

Ayub: three musketeers, baby

Ayub: do you think they’ll ever forgive each other?

Rosh: I don’t know

Ayub: I don’t know either

Ayub: …so weird

Rosh: right?

Rosh: anyway we’re ending up at some rich girl’s vacation cabin. Long story as to why but pray for me.

Ayub: I will be disappointed if you don’t come back with china teacups and raised pinkies and opinions on artisanal cheese boards

Rosh: shut up

Ayub: I mean Simon’s going out with the prince of Sweden, you may as well hook up with a golden coffee mine heiress

Rosh: shut UP, when have I ever gone for a posh girl

Rosh: also coffee doesn’t come from mines

Ayub: not with that attitude it doesn’t

Rosh: oh god our best friend really is going out with the prince of Sweden

Rosh: so weird

Ayub: SO WEIRD

Ayub: …do you think he can get us tickets to the Eurovision Song Contest? Or maybe the Stanley Cup?

Ayub: asking for myself

—

Felice and Sara have a really complicated conversation, content note for discussions of upsetting relationship dynamics (incomplete, but you’ll probably get the idea)

Sara plans to sleep that night with a piece of bar soap tucked into her pillowcase. She’s careful to slip it into the pillow she brought with her, instead of one of the pillows she’s borrowed from Felice. When she packed the soap into the very bottom of her backpack this morning, she wrapped it up in a scarf first and then zipped the scarf into a makeup pouch. Whether she’s hiding it from herself or others, Sara doesn’t really know. The soap is the color of eggshells, and weighs about as much as eggshells in her palm. Sara stole it off of August’s sink a few days before they all met in the field with the gun. If he knew about the soap, he never mentioned it or teased her for it.

The soap smells minty in a way that stings Sara’s nostrils. She breathes it in through the t-shirt soft layer of pillowcase, and even though her heart calms, her stomach tightens. Since Sara let a boy rewrite the way her body works, tension travels and transforms inside her in ways she can’t predict.

Of course Sara wishes that she could fall out of love all at once. Most of all, she wishes she could erase falling in love in the first place, for Simon’s sake. After the doctor at the clinic informed her, however, that she would need to take two pills over two days, and that her bleeding would diminish gradually over two weeks, Sara understood. She knows now that she is going to lose a piece of these feelings at a time, that their falling away will be like the erosion of a cliff, rather than a magician’s disappearing act.

When the morning comes, Sara wakes up to Felice sitting beside her. She is briefly hopeful, as Felice encourages her to sit up and hands her a glass of water, that the erosion is something Felice will understand, too.

They don’t talk much, at first. Instead Felice works the tangles out of Sara’s hair with careful fingers. Then, gradually, she begins to braid Sara’s hair, and as she braids she tells stories. There were a few other guys before Hillerska, all of them older. The first used to constantly pressure Felice for blowjobs. Another was a family friend in his first year at university; he was funny and liked to explain to her about the female authors he was reading for classes. He also called her exotic and kept trying to top off her wine glass when they sneaked away from their parents’ dinner parties. The last boy seemed kind and sweet—he had a dog he said he would die for, always texted her pictures—until Felice found out he was keeping a very blonde, very serious girlfriend a secret from her. The summer before Hillerska, Felice had to use emergency contraception after one of her hookups with the third guy. She had another girl buy it for her and smuggled the packaging off to a trash bin in a public park so her parents didn’t find it. She never told the guy.

Sara has heard Felice allude to other guys before, but never these details and personalities. She wonders if their other friends know the stories, and if so, why Felice didn’t tell her.

“Our friendship is still over,” says Felice, as she binds off the end of Sara’s new braid with a hair tie. “I’m just saying, I know it’s scary. I guess I don’t want you to be scared and alone right now.”

“Thank you,” says Sara, and part of her means it.

Another part of her is still at the back of the Bjärstad bus, the rough fuzz of the bus seats pricking at her legs through her school tights. Her fingers are numb and heavy now, just the way they were when she dialed the police that day. She was alone and scared, already. Still is. Sara accepts this as her punishment.

“I wish you’d told me sooner,” Felice says. “About what was happening between you two.”

“I told you, I didn’t know how,” Sara replies. “I know it’s too late for anyone to forgive me.” The phrase I feel like the worst person in the world echoes in her thoughts. She closes her eyes against it, then opens them again.

“If you told me sooner,” says Felice, “We could have done something. I could have given you more time with Rousseau. Your real true love.”

Sara balls her hand into a fist and presses her knuckles gently to Felice’s arm. “Stop that.”

That’s the part that Felice doesn’t get—that the love is the same. Not in the vulgar way TikTokers claim it is, when they’re making fun of horse girls. Only the way there’s an addictive thrill in being the one person who can tame someone known for trouble.

That’s crazy, right? Sometimes Sara is convinced that she’s going crazy.

“I wouldn’t have let Rousseau get sold, at least,” says Felice.

Sara’s stomach lurches. It occurs to her, in that moment, that Felice doesn’t know what happened with Rousseau. Sometimes Sara forgets it herself, it’s so strange. Grand gestures happen in movies, not in real life.

“August bought Rousseau for me,” she says. “From those awful horse people. Not that I accepted—”

“He bought you an entire horse?”

“I said I didn’t accept. I don’t think he knows how to take care of Rousseau.” Sara presses the tail of her braid between her fingers. She presses hard enough to bring pain to her fingertips, so she can block out the image of her horse—whose horse?—alone. “And now he can’t learn how. Not since I… not since the police.”

Felice flops backward onto the bed and stares up at the ceiling.

“He bought you an entire horse. And you were squeamish about the riding pants we got you. So that’s why you let him do anything he wanted?”

“I didn’t, though.”

“Alright. You did report him in the end.”

“He’d done bad things. He hurt people. I had to.”

“So he got you pregnant. Did he try to like—I’m sure he told you it would feel better without a condom. So many guys say that.”

“He never said that. We were always careful. I think one of the condoms must have been defective.”

“You can be honest. Sometimes boys lie, or secretly slip stuff off or—”

“I’m not lying.”

Sara wraps her arms around herself and rests her chin on her knees. She isn’t exactly sure what she’s supposed to say, but she’s fairly sure that whatever she’s saying now isn’t what Felice wants to hear. Maybe the price of forgiveness is pretending she’s been a helpless victim all along. She’s supposed to recite lines about August like: He manipulated me and tricked me. He didn’t let me say no. I was screaming and he put his hands over my mouth. I couldn’t fight back.

That’s easier for Sara’s old friends to swallow than: I saw him take pills and I know he was lying to me about what he was doing but I also planned to ask him about it until he got help. I was sure I could do it because he wasn’t as far along as Pappa, and I know what far along looks like.

Easier than: to be quite honest he treated me like his princess and we took turns doing the rescuing and I liked that and it even kind of turned me on, okay?

Until August took the prince and princess part more literally. Sara keeps reminding herself that she drew her line there, that she was able to put her foot down and refused to go to Valentine’s with him and be publicly recognized for that reason. She reminds herself that she isn’t going to let the tabloids talk about her. That she doesn’t want to live in a toy castle even if the castle is real, even if sometimes it even seems like it would be easier living in a castle than anywhere else.

(August doesn’t actually want that either, right? His words and actions say he does, but Sara also knows his body now. She’s felt how his breathing relaxes in the brief moments that he stops holding himself to royal standards.)

#young royals #sara eriksson #felice ehrencrona #rosh young royals #asks

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msbhagirathi · 1 year ago

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IPKKND LIVE BLOG - Season 1 [Epi - 2]

Cooooommmmmmmeeee ooooooonnnnnnnn, letz start the second epiiiiiiiiii.

So we are starting right from where we had left them off. ANDDDDD BAAAAMMMM! Khushi jolts out of her (or rather their?) trance and realizes where her hand is, snatches it back. Pulling out Arnav from his trance as well.

I want you to focus on their expressions in the scene. Look closely, when she snatches her hand away from his collar. His gaze, instantly falls down to her hand and there's a moment where he steels himself and maybe even thinks that 'How dare she!'.

It's as if Arnav realizes that he needs to be angry and THEN all hell breaks lose, as he throws her out of his hands. He orders the head of his PR team to control the photos and videos of this 'scandal'. Khushi is locked in a room for interrogation.

Back in Gomti Sadan, the neighborhood aunties are gossiping about Khushi's absence. Buaji asks about the papers' whereabouts to Payal. But, Payal, already very nervous and tongue-tied, reduces to tears. I am surprised why did Buaji not see the change in her demeanor and most importantly her spilled tears. But, that's also not much surprising coz Buaji can hardly ever read Payal or Khushi's distress over anything that they seem to be facing alone, in the entire show. This scene also indicates that Payal has never been the rule-breaker kid, she's always been kind of a 'yes-man' to her parents.

Ohh! Did you notice how Khushi's voice sounds so off? Do you know why? Turns out Sanaya was sick with cold while shooting this sequence. She mentioned this in that interview with Mrs. Gul Khan, which was released right after IPK ended a few months ago.

Arnav instructs the team to interrogate Khushi and check whether a rival company (Re-Fashion? RI-Fashion? REE-Fashion? whatever, lol.) send her there to ruin his fashion show in exchange of some petty amount of money.

Payal's belief, of her Abhishek ji standing up to his family's demand of the dowry, breaks. She realizes that he is present there, knows everything going on but still refuses to speak up. She is heart-broken.

Was it only me or you also thought that the way Sanaya pronounced 'profession' is kind of-idk-intriguing?-sexy?-hot?-pata nahi choro (ok, leave it.)

Garima tries to associate the papers' absence to Khushi's absence. Payal has been caught like a deer caught in headlights.

Arnav comes to meet or rather to interrogate his wife 'that' girl, for 'answers'. Khushi requests him to let her go as she explains him that she landed there by mistake.

He is so adamant in throwing all the unfortunately familiar 'accusatory' questions. What was that 'Wipro-Fashion'? 'PRO-Fashion'? Whatever. See, many of you would disagree, here, but I think he is legit right in doubting her intentions, given the type of people he would have dealt with till now in this profession. Although, WE know, from Khushi's POV, that she is right, BUT that's the thing, he doesn't.

"Then let it (the marriage) break. Problems like these are nothing for girls like you. If one leaves, then trap another." ("Toh tut jaane do shaadi. Tum jaisi ladkiyon ka kya hai. Ek jayega, dusra phasaa lena.") And the BG score changes to something close to tandav beats. Maybe, just maybe he realized that he has struck a chord or crossed a line or fcked up real bad. It can be any of the three.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh! The dreaded moment is here. Khushi retaliates but she does not realize the volcano in front of her, ready to burst out with hot, molten lava. She attempts to side step him but he grabs her by the arm and yanks at the dori of her blouse. Pearls scatter around, everywhere on the floor. Khushi is horror struck, devastated, horrified and all the girls watching this for the first time already knew what that meant. And hated Arnav for doing that to her for a long, long time.

See the irony, here. In the previous episode, we saw them together in that beautiful frame. No-one had any doubt of them being the alpha couple of the show. BUT. BUT. BUT.

After this scene, audience must have doubted, some might even have gone to the extent to declare Arnav as the villain. And later considered Shyam as the hero, coz of the way, he was introduced (we will come to that in that episode).

Hmm. I am thinking. Why did he let her go? Like? So....easily? After she pulled the ribbon from her hair and covered her exposed back, or rather her modesty. Arnav has frozen. At his spot. He isn't even moving a finger. (I will have to process this scene and then will let you know in a separate post.)

With this, the scene blurs and along with Khushi, we reach Gomti Sadan, where everything is eerily silent. Wait. Did we reach so early? Didn't Khushi take the whole day to reach SM? Then how come- ohh Guilty Arnav might have arranged a car for her to reach her home safely-Lol. Who am I kidding with? This is ASR, we are talking about. Let's stop with the wishful thinking.

Gomti Sadan. Gossips. Malign in their social image. A broken marriage. All of these are termed as a "Kali' (black ink) by Buaji. And who's at fault? Khushi. She talks of pulling off her braid and handing it to her. Basically, beat her ass off.

Buaji, I think, was never able to accept Khushi as her own child. She was always the only one to differentiate between the two. She was only the one who instigated Garima and Shashi against her. Although, Shashi had wholeheartedly accepted her as his daughter but Garima, often used to get manipulated into believing the worst, in Khushi.

Even now both Buaji and Garima are convinced that Khushi was, somehow, jealous of her sister's fate (that she was getting married) and so to malign it, she decided to sabotage the wedding by taking away the papers and fleeing out of everyone's sight until the wedding is called off.

Lol. Junior Engineer. And Buaji thinks, that's self-explanatory for them, having a right to ask for a dowry. Khushi explains herself. But, she is admonished by her (B-ji), for acting like a 'Dadi Amma', means trying to act above her age, by interfering in elders' matters.

Still, for the Guptas', specifically for Mrs. Garima Gupta, a broken marriage is worse than Payal getting married into a money-hungry family. Do you see it here? Getting MARRIED is of more importance than getting married into THE RIGHT FAMILY.

And as if all this admonishing and insulting is not enough, so, she kind of disowns her daughter. "Mat kaho hume Amma".

Khushi, who already had abandonment issues, guilt of being a burden to 'this' family, is now shell shocked. Someone please save this poor kid.

Buaji does it again! Hip, hip hurray guys! She again pulls up the orphan card and a non-refundable debt (of getting adopted by her brother and sister in law) card! What an awesome timing Buaji! Shut up Buaji. What? Shashi said this. Not me. I have manners, ok.

"Arre tujhse saga humara koi nahi hai." Payal's words calms Khushi to some extent. But, they are still not enough as we see that Khushi cannot sleep, and keeps tossing and turning, recalling her amma's harsh words.

She wakes up and opens their shop's door. Khushi is shown handling an LPG gas cylinder, an oil cannister and lighting a match stick, giving us the impression of her attempting to give up her life.

Precap starts. *quickly pauses it* I don't watch precaps. Spoilers. Don't like them. Bye. Such a stressful episode to watch.

youtube

P.S. : Remember the interview I was talking about? This is it. Please do give it a watch if you haven't already. It's so beautiful them sharing the off-screen things and being all nostalgic. You'll love it. :)

Previous Next Episode!

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polskasroka · 9 months ago

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The Promise of Eternal Oblivion

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Hades (Supergiant Games Video Games) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Melinoë & Odysseus (Hades Video Game) Characters: Melinoë (Hades Video Game), Odysseus (Hades Video Game), Achilles (Hades Video Game) Additional Tags: Post-Canon, Written During Hades II (Supergiant Video Game) Early Access, Hurt No Comfort, Angst, Night Terrors, Nightmares, Father-Daughter Relationship, Father Figures, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, ody can no longer run from his past, POV Odysseus (Hades Video Game), References to Ancient Greek Religion & Lore Word count: 6,868 Summary:

The Lethe, the famous river of oblivion, is a tempting option.

Read on AO3 or below!

All’s said and done, at last. Chronos has been cut into pieces once more and hidden in the darkest corners of the Earth and the Underworld by all the gods who fought against him. The feasts have been thrown, both down in the House of Hades and high up on Olympus to celebrate the victory that has restored the once lost peace and balance in the world. It’s currently being rebuilt and reborn, now with Demeter’s and Persephone’s great aid. So is the House of Hades.

The shades are taking care of everything, with Dusa and Zagreus being in charge of the design choices. The latter wouldn’t be in that position if it hadn’t been for his mother’s power to convince the rightful lord of the house that it was a good idea.

Melinoë has also been offered to share the job with her brother and the maid but she politely declined, as she usually does. She prefers to continue acquainting herself with everyone around here and becoming more knowledgeable when it comes to what is where in her old-new home.

She isn’t the only one who was encouraged to stay at the House of Hades or return to it.

Hypnos did it without hesitation. So did Skelly.

Nemesis refused.

Hecate chose to stay at the Crossroads, for it had always been and would always be her home. Apart from that, she wants everyone to have that sort of safe haven ready in case anything went wrong once again.

Moros would follow Melinoë wherever she’d go and reside. That earned the House another child of Nyx.

Then, there was Odysseus, who had to consider all pros and cons of staying at the House of Hades or claiming his spot in Elysium. Certain that he’d have few to no things to do there, he accepted the invitation. Sentiments similar to Moros’ might have also affected his decision. However, Odysseus would follow the goddess to the edge of the world for reasons different from those of Doom’s.

It did sound great at the start, it really did. A change of scenery was meant to do good, especially when moving from the middle of magic woods to a house. One that belongs to none other than the God of the Dead, the King of the Underworld, at that!

And maybe it was a bit vain of Odysseus to be thinking such things but he’d once lived in a luxurious place like this. He’d owned it. He’d been a king.

That part is, however, a far cry from who he is now.

He does have responsibilities but they’re not overbearing. He’s not a ruler of men anymore. Not in the mortal sense, at least. He’s still a tactician, though. That particular trait got him a task, for the fulfilment of which he’d have to use his experience and knowledge to invent new ways of preventing the Shades from leaving the Underworld.

The task never ends, obviously, but Odysseus doesn’t really mind. He’s got a purpose, so he’s not sitting idly, spending his every waking hour thinking about his past. The scrolls of plans and maps always lying on his private desk efficiently pull his thoughts away from the heartwrenching things he’d done when he’d been alive. The gut-churning war crimes or sacrifices made that would’ve ended badly no matter what he’d done.

When the war against Chronos was being waged, the duties he’d perform for Hecate and Melinoë kept the intrusive thoughts at bay in a similar manner to how his current job is doing it. The difference is that the constant fighting was much more consuming. There never was a real break from anything. Now there are. Even Shades aren’t able to work all the time.

Odysseus desperately clings to the most recent plans that he’s been working on, even while leaving his private chamber, granting himself one of these breaks. He’s almost afraid to let the thoughts about his best blueprints go for fear of spiralling down a breakdown filled with guilt and hundreds of ‘what ifs.’

He would be so successful at that if he hadn’t exited that room.

The spell is broken once he steps out of there. There’s no going back now, although he wishes he still had that boldness in himself, so that he’d just turn around and crawl back into the safety of his own four walls.

It’s not Melinoë who’s making him want to return to the blessed solitude, no. It’s the cries that he hears and blood that he sees that make him want to do that. It’s memories of the ‘great war of Ilium’, as Moros once dubbed it, that feel like crashing against a stone wall. The memories evoked by the sheer sight of Achilles. And Odysseus hasn’t even heard him speak today yet! Now, that is a new record for him.

“We, um… don’t talk about me and bows,” Melinoë says, laughing a bit nervously. “Isn’t that right, Od?”

“Ah, the bows!” he replies cheerfully, not to infect the goddess with his sour mood. As he approaches them, he continues, “the Nightmare Goddess here has many talents and the bows seem to be her only weakness.”

“You’re much too kind.” Melinoë rolls her eyes.

“It can’t be that bad, lass. Come on, let’s see what we can do about that.”

Melinoë doesn’t see the way Odysseus’ eyelid twitches at what Achilles has just offered. The man in question does.

“I’m not sure, sir. I always shoot everything but the target!”

“Your brother used to do the same thing. I managed to teach him, so I dare say I can manage to teach you too. Surely, it can’t be impossible for some of us, at least.”

The only reason why Odysseus holds back whatever snarky comment he’s got ready is Melinoë’s chuckle. He can’t bring himself to ruining her moment of amusement.

“Why don’t you join us, Od?” she asks as if nothing happened. As if Odysseus isn’t gritting his teeth so hard, that they’d shatter were he not a Shade.

“I might as well.” He smiles his usual smirk at Melinoë but drops it once she’s not looking at him anymore. Instead, he looks Achilles right in the eye and says, “watch out for your heel.”

Odysseus would really like to be happy for Melinoë and maybe he is. He surely is proud that she’s actually trying to learn how to use a bow properly but he’s so mad at himself for not having taught her himself. The worst thing is that he doesn’t know what he’s been doing wrong this whole time. The bow just didn’t work out a couple of times and they abandoned the idea. And now she’s picking it up in no time!

And it’s thanks to Achilles at that, out of all people!

Ridiculous is what this is.

As if to add insult to injury, Odysseus has been suffering from nightmares recently.

It’s not that he didn’t have them earlier, back when the war against Chronos was still on. He did have them but they contained much different things. In those days, he’d dream about losing a lot. He’d dream about losing the afterlife he had at the hands of the Titan. He’d dream about losing the Crossroads and everything that he and the rest of their inhabitants stood for. And he’d dream about losing Melinoë.

Such nightmares had Odysseus wake up with cold sweat running down his spine.

Now that the dangers are gone, his mortal past is catching up with him. It’s also getting progressively worse, for he soon can’t remember a night without a nightmare. He thinks about telling the goddess about it, wondering if she could help cease the images and noises of bloody battles and the terrible events that happened during his 10-year-long journey home.

The arduous way back has a lot to offer in the nightmare department. So does the war. Every night, it’s as if his mind’s casting lots as to what kind of suffering it’ll inflict upon itself.

There is something that tops everything, though.

The memory of dropping that infant from the wall.

That horrifying and infamous moment looms large over Odysseus’ dreams. If he happens to have it appear in his sleep, the rest of the night becomes restless. It makes him sick to the stomach no matter how many times he’s relived those dreaded seconds inside of his own head.

Giving him sleepless nights is one thing. One day, he goes to walk around the House of Hades and lands on the top of the high walls that surround the place. Everything is perfectly fine until he looks over the edge at the floor all the way down at the bottom of the wall. His head starts spinning immediately and there’s suddenly no air left in his lungs (as if he needed it), and his throat’s all dry. His knees almost give out and he has to stumble backwards and sit down.

Breathing, albeit unnecessary, seems impossible for a good while and the tactician feels like he’s about to pass out, his chest painfully tight. Luckily, though with tears welled up in his eyes, he manages to calm down, one palm on his breast, the other trembling.

He’s visibly shook even by the time he comes back to the main halls of the House. He needs the safety of his chamber, even though he’s not high up on the wall anymore.

“Odysseus!” Melinoë’s voice pulls him out of his head and he stops, and turns around to face the goddess. “I thought you were ignoring me.”

WHAT?!

“Me? Never!” he announces quickly, confidently, gesturing with his hand in the air. “I could be working on the most time-consuming plans but I’d never purposefully ignore you, Goddess.”

When he’s done talking, his hand stays in the air for a while and Melinoë’s face gets shrouded in concern.

“You’re trembling, Od. What’s going on?”

Odysseus looks at her and then at his hand, and he quickly shoves it downwards, focused on not letting his façade break.

“Nothing. Nothing at all.”

Melinoë folds her arms. “I don’t believe you.”

There’s a sudden urge to tell her that one thing he’s never told her. The one that haunts him in his worst nightmares and the one that broke him down back up on that wall.

“I…” he tries, he really, really tries, and Melinoë knows it. She hears the way that one syllable wavers. But he can’t let it out. Not now. Not here in the hall. “I haven’t been sleeping too well, Goddess. You see, now that the future is not that uncertain anymore, all the tensions from the not-so-recent times seem to be catching up with me and thus affecting the quality of my sleep. This shall pass soon enough, though.”

A half-lie. Not bad.

But Melinoë furrows her brows nonetheless. She still accepts that explanation and doesn’t pry further. Odysseus couldn’t be more relieved.

“If you say so. But if there’s anything troubling you, just tell me, alright, Od?”

There’s so much genuine care in her tone and the way she’s gazing at him that he knows he can’t tell her that it’s his nightmares that make him look like one of the undead from Ephyra back in the day. Not when she’s caring so much.

What would he even tell her? You don’t go to the Goddess of Nightmares and forbid her from giving you nightmares. That sounds highly disrespectful at the very least.

The nightmares don’t pass.

In addition, immersing himself in work and blueprints doesn’t help as well as it used to. Even receiving compliments from the Lord of the House or his son doesn’t aid Odysseus’ situation much.

The problem is that he doesn’t have anything to look forward to. While alive, reuniting with his family had been his driving force. Not too long ago, ending the war with Chronos was the ultimate goal that he and everyone around him shared. Now, making it more impossible for a simple Shade to leave the Underworld is a dead end job.

Then, a very foolish idea appears in his head. One of the worst he could have ever had – reopening old wounds is never a smart idea.

So, even though he’s made peace with his wife and son after they all died, he’s started considering finding and seeing them again, all the while hoping that they are still able to recognise him after all this time. After all, the Lethe, the famous river of oblivion, is a tempting option.

Indeed, he hasn’t seen his first own family since that day. But although they parted in a friendly way, without arguments or resentment, Odysseus has been yearning for seeing his loved ones anyway. He’s never really come to terms with them having gone their separate paths. Maybe it’s selfish of him but letting go of people one loves so much is not a simple thing to do.

Odysseus knows it’s not going to end well but he commits to the idea anyway. Anything to sleep through the whole night and stop experiencing the war and his journey home every day, every moment he’s not too busy with whatever is on his hands.

But he can’t just go to Elysium straight away. Wandering pointlessly around that place in search for his family rubs him the wrong way, so he has to ask someone for help. It won’t be Hades, no. He’s dealt with his brothers before and he’s not going to tempt fate anymore. Or ever again, for that matter. But he can ask Melinoë. She should be able to help, especially now that she’s already spent some time in the Underworld and in the House.

Thus, Odysseus seizes the first best opportunity at making such an inquiry to the goddess when he happens to stumble across her in the garden she shares with her mother now. And since old habits die hard, the tactician often tends to the garden, for which both the Princess and the Queen are always grateful.

“Oh, hi, Od! I’ve just finished here,” Melinoë says, standing up and brushing the dirt off of her hands. “I’ll leave some patches for you next time.”

“It’s your garden, Goddess, and you don’t have to remember to leave it for me to care for anymore. Those days are long gone.”

“It’s still our garden. It’ll always be. But,” she sighs, “you haven’t come here to talk about our plants, have you?”

“In fact, I… I’d like to ask for a favour, if that’s not a problem.”

Melinoë looks at him incredulously, folding her arms. “Of course, it’s not. What can I do for you?”

“Let’s suppose I were to visit Elysium. And look for my wife and son.” Odysseus notices how Melinoë’s face lights up, so he continues before she can start. “Is there any way to know if they’d still… remember me?”

His voice breaks a little at the end there and he wishes it didn’t. The goddess doesn’t let him dwell on that for too long, though.

“The Shades in the Administrative Chamber will know. Or they’ll know which scroll we should read to learn what we want to know. O-Or what you want to know! It’s your private matter, after all.”

“Well, I’d be honoured if the Princess of the Underworld herself decided to accompany me to both the Chamber and the Elysian Fields,” he claims in a warm tone, one that’d convince anyone to do whatever he pleases.

He also bows his head and Melinoë can’t say no to it all. Not that she was ever planning to.

“Let’s go then!”

The Shades in the Administrative Chamber willingly help out the two after given enough information on the souls in Elysium they’re meaning to find. While they’re waiting for the right scroll to be obtained, Melinoë gifts Odysseus with a hopeful smile and a bright look and it does fuel his beatless heart with the happy kind of anticipation.

Soon, Melinoë receives the scroll and hands it to her friend. An aura full of gleeful energy surrounds him because he doesn’t want to think of the tens of reasons why his family may have already chosen to drink the waters of the Lethe. And all those reasons would be equally sensible.

Odysseus finds the correct line and his enthusiasm is gone in an instant. He lets out a long exhale and gives the scroll back to Melinoë who also reads the bad news. She then watches him turn his back to her and run his hand down his face. She returns the scroll to the Shades of the Chamber and walks over to Odysseus to lay a hand on his shoulder. He slouches slightly.

“Do you still wish to see them, Od? It’s not a problem for me to find them, even if they don’t… As long as you’re still willing to go,” she offers gently, kindly.

“Aye, Goddess,” he says lifelessly.

The majority of their walk to Elysium is shrouded in silence. Melinoë isn’t too surprised, considering the information that the scrolls contained. Odysseus is visibly tense and nervous, something he rarely allows himself to show. In fact, Melinoë can’t tell if she’s seen him this restless around anyone but herself.

She stops at one point and Odysseus follows. He looks at her and then to the front. A while ago, he was too preoccupied with his own thoughts to notice two Shades a couple of steps before them, floating above the green meadows.

Odysseus glances at Melinoë again, his expression screaming confusion and disbelief.

“I’m sorry, Od,” Melinoë says quietly and watches him turn his gaze back at the pair of Shades. “I assume that they didn’t look like this the last time you saw them… did they?”

“No, Goddess,” he replies curtly. “They were… more whole, if that’s how I can put it. They looked more like I still do. Why has this happened?”

“There’s two reasons for that. The more forgotten the Shades become, the less they look as they used to, back when they were alive or when they arrived in the Underworld. Then, if they have no purpose, no duties that bind them or keep them motivated, they turn into those trusty green Shades. The latter is connected to drinking from the Lethe. After that, all they’ve ever known are these Fields,” Melinoë explains calmly, sensing how gloom’s gripping her friend’s dead heart.

“No sorrows or pain?”

“None.”

A shaky exhale leaves Odysseus’ mouth. It’s filled with some relief, though, and Melinoë hears that. It makes her feel a bit better about him and what he’s got himself into seeing.

“That’s why they have no motivation. This ever-present bliss of Elysium is what rids them of it. They have everything they could ever want, so why pursue something else?” the goddess adds.

“Will they stay in this… form forever?” Odysseus asks with the last embers of hope that he could dig out from his despondent self.

Melinoë hesitates, aware of how the Shade next to her is hanging on the edge of a breakdown by a thread. But he asks, so she can’t let his question stay unanswered.

“They won’t.” Straight to the point. “They’ll fade away, eventually, and their life energy will return to Primordial Chaos. Their essence will never cease to exist. But they won’t be reborn as the same persons.”

Heaviness fills her own heart as she hangs her head and stares at the green grass before her.

As soon as Melinoë hears Odysseus sniffle, she has to squeeze her eyes shut, so as not to let tears fall from them. Her own breathing wavers and she focuses on steadying it back to its natural pattern but still registers the air around her moving and the sound of the Shade next to her plopping down onto the ground.

Glassy-eyed, the goddess utterly pities Odysseus, the sorry sight he is right now. Hoping it’ll be at least a bit of comfort, Melinoë sits down next to him and lifts her hand to lay it on his back. She rubs at it carefully and then his whole frame shakes as he does his best to mute the sob that breaks from his chest. He’s got his eyes covered by a hand that he propped on his knee but Melinoë knows they’re at least as teary as hers.

“When they do fade away, they don’t even notice it. Nothing’s ever going to hurt them again,” Melinoë states reassuringly.

She’s met with silence, which Odysseus breaks after a while. “They drank from the Lethe right after we went our separate ways.”

So he read that entry in the scroll too.

A tear rolls down Melinoë’s cheek, hearing a weep rip itself from deep within his soul.

Odysseus doesn’t speak of his family ever again. He also doesn’t mention the encounter in Elysium and neither does Melinoë, for which he’s utterly grateful.

Days go by as they always do in the House of Hades again. There’s plans lying in front of the tactician’s eyes for most of the time, as he constantly draws his attention away from how his son and wife decided to forget about everything so quickly… But he doesn’t blame them, he can’t blame them. In fact, he thinks it was the most reasonable thing for them to do. They’d suffered enough once and they deserved to be free from those days.

The reality of it hurts Odysseus anyway. It always will.

It’s also yet another thing that’s going to be haunting him, weighing him down. He hates himself for dreaming not only about his mortal days but now also about that blasted stroll to Elysium.

Odysseus wakes up in the middle of every night. The nightmares seem to never be leaving him and he thinks he’s growing used to being torn away from his sleep while yelling and sweating cold beads along his spine. That’s when he knows that it’s no use going back to sleep because he’s not going to doze off again for another two or three hours.

So he revisits his newest plans and ideas, sitting at his desk with the chamber being illuminated only by a single torch hung up on the wall, next to him. In the dim light, Odysseus studies the blueprints, pondering over any possible changes or improvements. There is one concept that involves a wall and he’s feeling brave to assess it one night.

He digs it out from the pile of scrolls that he decided he would deal with later and spreads it across the desk. Holding the two sides down with his hands, he peers over it and an unpleasant sensation washes over him. He tries to weather it by swallowing and releasing a long exhale but it looks like it’s not going to be enough in the long run.

There’s that feeling of something clutching at his chest again and Odysseus blinks and attempts to compose himself because it’s nothing more but a scroll! A Great Tactician can’t be scared of scrolls, it’s absurd!

But it’s true.

Odysseus rips the plan into shreds.

Some other day, Odysseus wakes up with a thought of telling Melinoë about the most gruesome crime he committed during the war. He’s determined enough to do it as soon as possible before the courage leaves him and he’s left with that burden all alone again. He needs to share it with someone. He needs to finally feel better, lighter, and this must be the reason why he’s been coping so poorly lately.

If the goddess is not in her chamber, she is at the training grounds. Courtesy to Hecate, said training grounds look just like the ones back at the Crossroads. Melinoë wouldn’t stand it if they were different from what she’s used to.

So Odysseus heads exactly there but the closer he gets, the more familiar swooshes slicing the air he can hear. Curious and watchful, he peeks inside from the outside of the area and notices the goddess practising her archery skills. It brings a smile onto his face that disappears from there once he lays his eyes on Achilles who’s apparently still there to supervise Melinoë’s progress.

The tactician’s eyes grow cold at the sight and his fists clench tightly when Melinoë’s hit the mark and runs to Achilles to hug him, beaming with happiness and pride. Oh, she’d be a joy to look at if he weren’t there with her. Teaching her. Telling her how to shoot. Praising her for her first ever successful shot. Being there to witness it. Being there to laugh with her and return her embrace.

Odysseus should be there, not him.

When he storms off, all enraged and gritting his teeth, he’s got no chance of hearing how much Melinoë wishes he saw her do that and that her new goal is to better herself at archery even more and then show him how much she’s learnt.

The decision takes him a while to make.

Wanting to smooth out the process, Odysseus lists down all the advantages and disadvantages, both for him and for the residents of the House of Hades who are the most dear to him. Or one resident.

It’s rather sad to admit that the scale tips in favour of resolving to do the deed and finally be truly free. Free from worries and sorrows, and pain, and nightmares.

Odysseus knows it’ll terribly hurt Melinoë but he can’t go on like this anymore. He’s been trying to fight all those intrusive thoughts and remedy his terrible dreams and painful memories but nothing’s helped. Each day and each sleepless night are only making him more and more hopeless and desperate for a moment of respite. And the promise of eternal oblivion is something he’s found himself yearning for for the last couple of months or maybe even years.

The man of duty he is, the tactician doesn’t just leave. He makes an effort to inform everyone in the House about his decision and he’s relieved to hear their responses. The ones he’s talked to understand him but they’re upset anyhow. Maybe except for one figure who understands but is not too distraught. Odysseus is not too baffled by that, either.

He hasn’t told one particular goddess yet, though. And he doesn’t want to discuss this specific matter when he passes her in the halls. Instead, he asks her if she could visit him when she’s done with whatever business she has to attend to.

Odysseus also hasn’t told her about the infant yet. He doesn’t think about the possible repercussions. He’ll cross that bridge when he comes to it.

And it’s going to happen sooner than he’d like. It almost seems as if Melinoë resigned from doing whatever it was that she was planning on, and came straight to Odysseus. He shouldn’t be surprised – it’s not the first time such a thing’s occurred.

Melinoë is perplexed immediately after entering the room and having the door closed behind her. With a puzzled look, she follows Odysseus and takes a seat on a chair opposite him. She searches his face for any indications regarding the matters he wants to tackle but finds nothing but deep concern and… shame?

“Something isn’t right, is it? It can’t be, look at yourself, Od. Is it connected with something or someone around the House?”

“No, Goddess. It, erm… involves my mortal days.”

He swallows and exhales. Then, he drops it, looking Melinoë straight in the eye.

Her mouth falls slightly open as she hears what he’d done. There is clear shock in her expression but then the goddess furrows her brows and purses her lips as if she’s pondering over something important or serious. It puzzles Odysseus, for he was expecting her to… to do what? She’s a goddess, she could know a thing or two about sacrifices that have to be made sometimes.

Will she understand, then?

“Why haven’t you told me about it before?” she asks carefully, quirking an eyebrow up.

Odysseus’ eyes widen.

“Well, I…” He’s at a loss for words – something that never happens to him. “I’ve told you all about my greatest deeds and I suppose I was worried about you changing the view you had of me.”

“You’ve told me about the… less great deeds too. I see why killing a mortal child can be something that leaves a mark on a man but gods aren’t the purest beings, either. I’m sure you know that. And I think I can imagine what it means to be made to choose while being pressed by a god.”

Melinoë sends him a little smile which he returns, remembering how she mentioned being forced to make such decisions during her nightly ventures to Erebus or Ephyra. But then Odysseus also looks at her in a way that she can’t quite read.

I see why killing a mortal child can be something that leaves a mark on a man.

Does she now? She said it with something akin to lightness in her tone. Odysseus can no longer hide his own incredulity.

“That moment is still haunting me, Goddess,” he admits wearily. “Every day and every night.”

Silence.

“I’m so tired of–”

The tactician doesn’t let his voice falter any further, so he just shuts up. Tears well up in his eyes and he hates it. Averting his gaze, he blinks the tears away but it’s to no avail especially now that Melinoë’s got up to come closer and crouch in front of him. She cups his face to wipe the tears away and then grabs his hands with hers and squeezes soothingly.

“I need to rest, Goddess,” Odysseus gasps out. “I’m afraid I won’t be able to stand all these thoughts and memories for much longer. You see, after you defeated that old bastard for good, I was looking forward to whatever it was that the Fates had in store for me. For us all.”

“But?”

“But the optimism died out sooner than I would’ve preferred.”

He tells her about his dreams and his nightmares. He tells her how the latter are only getting worse and worse, never asking Melinoë to change anything about that. Even the sheer fact that he’s telling her that the night terrors are constantly rendering him terrified and exhausted is something he never assumed he would be so open about to the Nightmare Goddess.

Odysseus talks about the walls he can no longer wander atop of. He talks about the torn plans and ideas that he had to forget because they included either constructing walls or getting onto the already existing ones.

And then, he speaks about the utter disenchantment that he was met with when he read the scroll about Penelope and Telemachus.

Melinoë’s radiating with genuine pity and it’s only making Odysseus feel worse. Her mood is visibly plummeting and it’s all his fault. But he can’t keep it all bottled up anymore. He has to let it out, so that she’ll understand why he finally wants to forget everything and claim his spot in Elysium.

“Od?”

His expectant look is enough for Melinoë to go on.

“I’m not making you feel any better when I practise using the bow with Achilles, am I?”

The question quickly pulls Odysseus out of his torpor. He takes a sharp inhale and stands up, pulling Melinoë up too. She doesn’t even notice when he embraces her and draws her close to his front.

“The last thing I want is you blaming yourself for that, Goddess. Or for anything that concerns me, for that matter. It’s him I’m mad at, not you,” he says firmly and feels Melinoë release a breath that she was holding.

“Are you sure? I can talk to him if you’d like me to,” the goddess offers, shrugging. Not a big deal.

“No.” Odysseus then lets her go and wavery words leave his lungs. “It won’t change anything. I’ve made my decision.”

“What decision?”

Revealing the news causes Melinoë to burst out crying and bury her face in Odysseus’ shoulder. He’s there to hold her while she’s shivering, hidden in his arms, clutching the fabric of his cloak. She keeps telling him that she understands but her weeping seems to be implying something else. It’s as if she wants to tell him that everything can be mended, as if that idea’s ready at the tip of her tongue, but such a proposition never makes it past Melinoë’s lips. They’re both perfectly aware of how stubborn he is. She’s taken it after him.

He explains to her why the Lethe is the only solution to the hardships he faces every day. He once again mentions the things he’s already mentioned – his past now going hand in hand with him – and Melinoë is truly listening, absorbing and analysing the information, in-between the sobbing.

Odysseus feared she’d start questioning him and convincing him not to do what he’s yearning to do. But she doesn’t.

To Odysseus’ amazement, she calms down as he keeps talking to her, rubbing her back in a comforting manner. Only then does the goddess truly start to realise the severity of the horrors he’s got to endure daily and nightly.

“Goddess, you’re the last one to hear it all from me because… I’d be honoured if you accompanied me to Elysium,” he adds in a hushed way.

“Do you want to go already?” Melinoë mutters gloomily.

“I’ll wait if you need a moment.”

“Thanks, Od.”

“Take your time.”

It’s Melinoë who starts talking about the pleasant memories of the past she shares with Odysseus. After all, if this is the last time she’s talking to him while he still recognises her, she may as well use it to reminisce, so that they don’t part in melancholy. Not that Odysseus would remember that for too long once they’re off to their own, separate fates.

The goddess’ heart sings when she mentions all the times she played hide and seek with Hecate and Odysseus would help little Melinoë find the Titaness. They’d all always laugh the alleged cheating off later. Melinoë also played the game only with him from time to time and once found, he’d chase her around the Crossroads, purposefully failing to catch her, only to make her smile.

He’s cherished Melinoë’s laughter since the first time he heard it. There was a time when the little goddess didn’t have many reasons to laugh, for nightmares tormented her and she woke up crying in her tent. And Odysseus was always there first, ready to console her and talk flowery words about his own past, prattling on about the challenges he’d faced during the war or his long journey home.

And Melinoë would always fall asleep, listening to his calming voice.

Just as she’s doing now as he ends one of his monologues with a joyous chuckle. It then fades away when the bank of the Lethe appears in the distance before them. They fall silent and the audible sigh that Odysseus makes has Melinoë’s heart sink. They don’t stall, however, and steadily reach the river, stopping a couple of steps away from its gently flowing waters embraced in veil-like mist.

The sight is beautiful. Breathtaking.

“I guess our journey ends here. Thank you, Odysseus. For everything. We wouldn’t have any of this if it hadn’t been for you,” Melinoë utters, her words shaky, as she’s stood in front of him, looking into his tired but pleased eyes.

“Likewise, Goddess. I must admit I never expected the afterlife to be this eventful.”

“But now it’s time to rest. You deserve it, Od. We’ve got our share of it already, so now it’s your turn. Go and enjoy it. Be truly free from all that haunts you.” She smiles but her lips tremble.

Melinoë can’t stop her teeth from clattering, yet somehow manages not to let tears fall from her glassy eyes. She sniffles and puts on a brave face. She shakes her head and then throws her arms around Odysseus’ neck, pulling herself close to him, so that he can embrace her too. He holds her tightly, as if he were to never let go for fear of losing what they have, the bond they’ve forged over the years that Odysseus has always been too cowardly to name or call out loud.

He almost says it then. Almost, since the words die in his throat and all he does is clear it, emotions overwhelming him.

Melinoë sniffles again and soon releases Odysseus from her arms. She then wipes her eyes and tells him that she’s alright. He rubs her arm comfortingly and the goddess mourns the moment he stops and turns around, unable to look at her.

He’s breaking her heart and his own in two at the same time. He knows it but he also knows that this memory, this sentiment will be erased in a moment. He’ll feel no more pain and he’ll finally be free.

That’s what he’s craving, so he doesn’t waste more time and walks away from Melinoë. She’s following him with her gaze, which is boring a hole in the back of Odysseus’ head and he almost can’t resist whipping back around and returning to her.

In fact, it’s when he hears her choke on a sob that his resolve breaks.

Odysseus has the goddess pressed to his chest in no time. She’s not holding back now, crying into the fabric of his clothes, gripping them in her hands not to let him go to that blasted river.

“It’s no use crying over an old bastard like me, Goddess,” he says gently, his own voice shaking.

“H-how am I supposed not to?” Melinoë hiccups and continues, muttering the words into Odysseus’ front. “After all you’ve done for me? After all we’ve been through?”

He wants to say something but tears suddenly roll down his cheeks of their own volition. He grunts to compose himself again but he still remains quiet.

Tell her, you fool.

… Or let her do it for you.

“How am I supposed to just let you go without you knowing how much you mean to me, Od? You raised me and have always been by my side… I could never dream of a better father.”

Something grips him from the inside. It holds tightly and then loosens up, making a wave of relief wash over him, making him cry with no more inhibitions.

Pulling Melinoë impossibly close, Odysseus kisses the top of her head and rests his chin there, weeping just as heavily as she is.

“And I could never dream of a better daughter, Melinoë.”

His heart shatters into small pieces, hearing the muffled cry that she lets out. One last time, Odysseus tightens the hug for a fleeting moment and then opens his arms only to see how downcast Melinoë looks.

He pulls himself together for her, though. He can’t allow it all to get to him. He can’t allow it to convince him to return to and stay at the House of Hades.

Having brushed the freshest tears off of his own face and then hers, Odysseus holds her by her shivering arms and Melinoë locks her eyes with his.

“It’ll be alright,” he tells her (and himself). “Go home now and enjoy the rest of your life, aye? No more tears, Goddess. Chin up.”

She nods, still snivelling.

“I love you.”

It takes all of Melinoë’s willpower not to completely break down right in front of Odysseus. It only feels more impossible when he lets her go again and turns around to wander off in the direction of the Lethe.

“I’ll never forget you, Od. I love you, too.”

When Odysseus glances over his shoulder, the goddess is there no more. He thinks it’s better this way, for this way, she won’t have to watch him do the deed. She won’t have to witness the moment his memory becomes blank.

With his fists clenched and his step faltering, Odysseus reaches the bank of the river Lethe. He sits down on the soft, grassy surface and exhales, staring at the spot where he and Melinoë stood only a while ago.

It’s one of the happiest things in his whole life knowing that Melinoë’s seen him as her father all this time. He wishes it was possible to purge one’s mind solely from bad memories.

But it’s not and the longer he’s there, gaping into the distance with longing for the goddess to return, the stronger the pain in his chest’s growing. And it can be over so soon. Freedom and rest are right there, waiting for him to take a sip. Melinoë’s not coming back and he really shouldn’t be thinking about how she must be feeling now, grieving alone.

Left there, without him to hold her and lift her up, so that she can confidently stride forward again and face another day.

Sitting at the bank of the river, Odysseus glances at his reflection in the lazily flowing water. He reaches out his shaking, uncertain hand and scoops some of the liquid oblivion into his palm.

So this is Elysium?

#hades 2 #hades 2 fanfic #melinoe #odysseus #hades 2 melinoe #hades 2 odysseus

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