#Gilderoy would just stand there

[fafodill]

Via @snapesupremacy on instagram

I couldn't stop laughing so I had to draw it

[ellecdc]

the poly!marauders and lily x shy!reader!!!!! I genuinely cannot handle how much I love it omg🫠🫠 would u be willing to make it a series??

maybe remus being overprotective/possessive of her before the full moon and she’s just like ???? bc she doesn’t know about his furry problem🫣 but the rest of the group are just really casual about the way he’s acting like “oh yeah he does this sometimes, just ignore it” and r is just like 🤔?? bc he literally won’t let her go and wants her by his side and lap all day!!

aaaaaah my mind got carried away after reading ur amazing fic🩷🩷

so. stinkin. cute (thoughts and prayers for our shy!reader fr)

poly!marauders + lily x shy!reader close to Remus' time of the month

pt 1 // pt 2 // pt 3 // pt 4 // pt 5

CW: love bite/hickies, man-handling Remus [ik, ik]

You had been…seeing the boys and Lily for long enough now to have noticed a few peculiarities. 

Black envelopes with green wax melts on the front that were delivered to Sirius were always confiscated immediately by Lily. Following the envelope's arrival, the rest of the group tended to fawn over Sirius for the rest of the day.

James was incredibly bright as a student in all subjects except Ancient Runes; prior to any quizzes or assignments, the group would play a game of “question pong” which was a twist on the muggle game ‘beer pong’ where cups were lined up and James would aim a ping pong ball and have to answer a question that was placed inside the cup that he had scored in. This amount of effort wasn’t placed into any of the others’ studies.

And what was obviously something the boys were ultimately accustomed to doing for Lily now extended to you when you couldn’t help but notice that at least one of them always escorted you to any of your classes in the dungeons. 

Another peculiarity, however, seemed to centre around Remus. 

Once a month, the group got a bit…sketchy before the three boys would disappear for about a day and then return basically back to normal. 

Lily seemed to be accepting of these occurrences, so you opted not to concern yourself with it either; if it was something you needed to know, they’d tell you.

Right?

Because, you see, the sketchiness wasn’t just limited to their comings and goings; but rather Remus himself.

He was a tactile person, that much you knew to be true. He almost always had a hand on one of his partners, a boyfriend or a girlfriend in his lap, or an arm around someone’s shoulders.

And yes, you’d been growing increasingly accustomed to the affection.

But it seemed to you that around these bouts of…sketchiness, the affection seemed to grow into something rather possessive. 

For example; it became clear to you that out of the three boys, James and Sirius were the ones who had a particular problem with Severus Snape, but during said period of said sketchiness, Remus nearly growled when he saw Lily and Snape discussing the upcoming Potions exam before he latched himself onto Lily’s side until Severus finally left. 

And then at the quidditch game against Ravenclaw, a group of girls behind you, Lily, and Remus were giggling over how ‘fit the Gryffindor captain was’ which led to Remus standing abruptly, moving to lean against the railing of the Gryffindor stands to wave James over before he pressed a searing kiss to the chasers lips leaving them both rather breathless. 

And then there was the party in the Ravenclaw common room for Benjy Fenwicks birthday where you, Lily, and Remus had been sitting watching James and Sirius dance with Marlene and Mary before Gilderoy Lockhart slid up behind Sirius in an attempt to dance with him. Sirius hardly had a chance to react before Remus was on the dancefloor and pulling his boyfriend into him, slotting their hips together and swaying sinfully to the beat all while maintaining eye contact with Gilderoy.

It seems important to note that Remus doesn’t dance.

All this to say, Remus got…sketchy.

But all of this had nothing on how he seemed to become around you.

You weren’t sure what caused the difference; perhaps it was because you were new to the group, perhaps it was because you were shy, or perhaps it was because he was more confident in his and the others’ roles within the dynamic. Either way, you were certain you were simply going to combust from the sheer amount of attention being devoted to you by your quietest boy.

You could hardly breathe or blink without him noticing, it seemed. And if you were within his vicinity, you were in his arms or on his lap.

Like right now…

You’d no sooner entered the Great Hall when you spotted Lily’s fiery red hair and made for the group before you were being man-handled to sit on the bench between his thighs.

“You almost missed breakfast, dove.” He offered quietly as he started preparing a plate for you right in front of your eyes. 

“Jeez Moony, whatever happened to good morning.” Sirius teased as he shot you a wink.

“Morning angel.” James offered quickly as Lily smiled softly at you.

“Oh, hi! I..uhm, I’m not that hungry, Rem.” You tried, but it was apparently the wrong thing to say.

Remus’ movements hardly faltered as he continued buttering an english muffin for you, but everyone else seemed to freeze in their movements as they watched the two of you with bated breaths. 

“Breakfast is important.” He said simply.

And believing he was quite close to actually hand feeding you the english muffin, you simply took it from his hands and shrunk into his chest at the attention. 

You felt your heart leap both in affection and embarrassment as you felt him press his lips to your neck as you ate, looking to the other three in hopes of help or explanation, of which you received neither.

“I was wondering if you wanted to have a sleepover with me tonight?” Lily asked you as she sipped from her tea.

“Oh, I uhm…sure, that’d be nice. Is everyone going to be there?”

Remus kept his face pressed to your neck but the others shared a glance. 

“No, we have a Marauders thing to attend to tonight, sweetness. Can we call dibs for the weekend?” Sirius offered, but his attempt was quickly shot down by Remus.

“Tomorrow.” He muttered from your neck as you fought the urge to shiver at the tickle of his breath. 

“What about the night after that?” Lily tried again.

You let out a surprised (and perhaps nervous) squeak when Remus’ embrace tightened around your middle.

“Tomorrow.” 

“Moons…” James tried, which finally got Remus’ face out from your neck in order to glare at his boyfriend.

“Tomorrow will be fine.” He proclaimed with an air of finality before he shoved his face unceremoniously back into your neck and latched his mouth to your jugular, eliciting another surprised yelp from your lips. 

“How’s that for a good morning, Y/N?” Sirius asked with a wink. 

You spent the rest of your breakfast wondering if this was your own personal heaven or your own personal hell.

Jury was still out by the time you left the Great Hall with a love bite displayed above the collar of your uniform.

[engie-ivy]

1055 words

Gilderoy is convinced grocery store guy was flirting with him, but the truth is, the guy didn't even really notice him. His date on the other hand...

What Bad Dates Can Be Good For

“This is so embarrassing,” Gilderoy smiles, more smug than embarrassed, as he brushes back one of his blond curls. “I'm so sorry. I wish I could say it's an incident, but the truth is, this happens to me all the time. Even while I'm on a date with someone, guys just come up to me and start flirting with me. It's so awkward, but the story of my life, I'm afraid.”

Sirius frowns. “I don't think he was flirting with you.”

Gilderoy smirks. “There's no need to feel threatened, Siri. So far, my attention is still on you.”

Sirius cringes at the nickname. “I'm honestly not threatened,” he assures Gilderoy, and it's true. Their date isn't even halfway yet, but Sirius is already quite certain Gilderoy doesn't do it for him, and if his attention were to be on anyone else, Sirius couldn't care less.

It had started already while planning their date, and Gilderoy had insisted they could go to one of the fanciest restaurants in town without making a reservation, because ‘they know who I am’, of course leading to them not being able to get a table at that restaurant, or any other restaurant anymore on a busy Friday night. Gilderoy had pretended he preferred cooking himself anyways, but of course he didn't have anything edible in his kitchen, so they had to go to the grocery store first. Gilderoy then proceeded to fill their basket with unnecessary and expensive products like pistachio milk, gluten-free protein powder, hand-roasted kale chips and whatnot, probably trying to seem interesting, but only annoying Sirius, and letting him pay for everything on top of that.

Now, having just stepped out of the grocery store, Gilderoy is convinced the employee there had been flirting with him.

“I just truly don't think he was flirting with you,” Sirius says.

Gilderoy rolls his eyes. “Then why did he come up to talk to me?”

“He wanted to restock the shelves, and you were in the way,” Sirius replies matter of factly.

Gilderoy lets out a deep sigh, like he can't believe how dumb Sirius is being. “He was clearly only using that as an excuse to talk to me.” He then smiles at Sirius in a way that feels belittling. “You don't have to be so jealous, you know.”

Sirius doesn't know how to make it any more clear. “Not threatened, not jealous, just disagreeing, Gilderoy.”

“Let's ask him then.”

Sirius blinks. “What?”

“Grocery store guy. Let's go back and ask him, so he can confirm that he was in fact flirting with me.” Gilderoy turns around and starts walking back towards the store.

“Oh, for the love of-” Sirius walks after him. “Gilderoy, let him be! I believe you, okay? He was totally flirting with you! Just leave the poor guy alone!”

“Oh, hello.” Grocery store guy is now standing behind the counter and smiles at Sirius as they enter the store, and Sirius can't help but notice the sight of the soft smile in combination with his freckles. Oh, he thinks as realization dawns. He's cute.

“Hi,” Gilderoy says, before Sirius can say anything. “Would you mind clearing something up for us, and tell my date you were just flirting with me?”

Sirius cringes, torn between trying to look as apologetic as possible and attempting to be as invisible as possible.

“I…” The guy blinks at Gilderoy. “Am sorry?”

Gilderoy lets out a laugh. “No need to be embarrassed. You're not the first and you won't be the last.”

The guy frowns as he stares at Gilderoy. “Am I supposed to know you?”

Gilderoy’s arrogant persona falters for a moment as he looks taken aback. “Well, not know me, but you've seen me.”

The guy shakes his head. “I really don't recall having ever seen you before.”

“You… What… How…” Gilderoy sputters, as Sirius has to bite the inside of his cheek not to laugh.

“Sorry, mate.” The guy shrugs.

"Bollocks!" Gilderoy bristles, his face turning red. “You're trying to mess with me!”

The guy tilts his head, calmly studying Gilderoy. “There's just a lot of people coming in and out of the store all day. Hard to remember who I've seen.”

“I am not hard to remember!” Gilderoy bites at him.

The guy holds up his hands, but his expression betrays his amusement with Gilderoy’s reaction, whose face is now bright red. “No offense.”

“Whatever,” Gilderoy snaps. “Keep telling that to yourself.” He turns on his heels and stalks out of the store.

“I am so sorry about him,” Sirius says, feeling like he has to say something.

“I'm sorry for you,” the guy replies. “You're the one who's dating him.” He almost shudders at the thought.

“It's a first date,” Sirius quickly replies. “I've literally only met him two hours ago.” He doesn't know why he feels the need to clear that up (okay, maybe he does know, and it has something to do with big, amber eyes staring up at him).

“Is that so?” The guy says, leaning forward over the counter. “And what are his chances of getting a second date?”

Sirius huffs. “Let me say it like this, if he were the last single gay guy in town, I would start dating women, and I'm actually very, very gay.”

The guy chuckles. “Well, not to worry. I happen to know for a fact that he's not the last single gay guy in town,” he says, looking up at Sirius through his lashes.

“That's…” Sirius scrapes his throat. “That's good to know.” Then he can't help but ask. “Did you really not remember him? Or were you just messing with his too-big-head?”

“I honestly did not,” The guy says, and then he gives Sirius a meaningful smile. “After all, how could I've noticed anyone else when you were right there?”

Sirius can feel himself blush, but before he can scramble his brain together enough to come up with an of course very smooth and witty reply, Gilderoy appears in the door.

“Are you done here? I'm hungry.”

“Thank you very much, sir,” the guy says, in a suddenly professional voice. “Here's your receipt.”

Sirius takes the receipt, and since he did not buy anything, he's not entirely surprised, yet entirely pleased, to see a phone number scribbled down on the piece of paper.

[serverusslaype]

Shameless, pt. 3

snape x professor!reader fic

Shameless Masterpost

hey yall B) it's time for part 3.. i'm hoping i've done this chapter justice, though i am a little doubtful, only because this was sort of a filler chapter, it doesnt have muchhh plottt.... i just love the hateful/resentful relationship between the reader and snape at the moment, does that make me toxic lmao? :( </3

there is not much else to say, so i hope you enjoy this next part, honestly i have no idea how many parts there is going to be, i'm sort of writing it until i'm happy with what happens sort of thing.

anyway, it's lights out and away we goooo!! (if you get this reference i love u)

The chilly, biting air blew through you like a windstorm as you rushed to catch up with the strawberry-blonde author, the adrenaline that was pumping through you doing most of the work. Without a beat, you reached Lockhart, your hand colliding with his chest as you pushed him into a shadowed area; his back - once again - slamming against the wall with a thud.

A look of shock and complete, utter fear was spread on the Gilderoy's face as you pointed your wand in his sorry face. "As I was saying before, Lockhart," you growled, prodding the tip of your wand into his chest, "If you ever pull that shit again, I will not hesitate to have you removed from this school." You huffed, clenching your jaw. Gods, you could kill him, honestly! "What in the ever sweet-loving hell were you thinking? A student could have been harmed!" You hissed at the man, who had now composed himself. Honestly, you were holding back from hexing him. "Actually, Longbottom almost was!" You added, fire in your eyes.

"I'm sorry, truly, I am." Lockhart said guardedly, watching you with cautious eyes as you stepped back to give him some space. "It wasn't my intention, I promise you-"

"Incompetence is not tolerated at Hogwarts, Lockhart, believe me." You warned him, allowing yourself to calm down a little bit. You might've gotten a little carried away.

"Understandably." Lockhart replied, his eyes flicking between yours and your wand

"I'm glad we have an understanding." You said coldly and gestured for him to leave. If you looked at him again, you were worried you might lose your cool. You'd never gotten so angry with someone before, but placing students in harms way because of a stupid mistake truly pisses you off. It's shameful.

The crunch of Lockhart's boots against the ground faded out into the cold, bitter air as he scurried away. You stood still for a moment to gather yourself and your thoughts, running a stressed hand through your long hair.

"Feel better?" A sudden deep, husky voice came from behind you. You almost jumped out of your skin as you spun around to find Snape, equipped with an amused smirk on his white face as he relished in your fright.

"Bloody hell, Snape!" You scoffed, throwing a hand against your chest. Where did he come from, didn't he leave earlier? Was he following me? You wondered to yourself, a suspicious frown landing on your face. That familiar burning sensation began to creep up onto your cheeks and neck as you looked at him.

"For a Hufflepuff, you're certainly… fiery." The corner of his lips quirked upwards as he clasped his hands behind his back. You swallowed thickly as he stepped towards you, your heart beginning to pound again once more. "Perhaps the sorting hat made a grave mistake all those years ago." He added, articulating each word perfectly, tilting his head at you. You rolled your eyes at him, standing your ground. You refused to let him intimidate you again. You were equals now, and you wanted him to treat you like one. Snape's face twisted into a taunting sneer. "After witnessing your reckless yet, dare I say, impressive outburst, you would have made a fine Slytherin student."

"Oh, what an honour." You groaned sarcastically. What a backhanded… compliment? You weren't sure. Despite your confident facade, you could feel the walls you'd built crumbling as Snape leaned forwards at you, his lips curling into a face of disgust at your reply. "I am not selfish, nor arrogant. I would rather put others before myself." A rush of anxiety washed through you, like you'd just missed a step on the stairs.

"Ah yes, the most obvious downfall of Hufflepuffs. Selflessness." Snape smirked at you. He was clearly enjoying how easy it was to get under your skin and irritate you. Gods, he was driving you crazy, and you honestly didn't want to know whether it was the good or bad way.

Most definitely the latter, let's be serious here. "Ah yes, truly sorry that we also value people other than ourselves." You mocked the Potions Master, secretly desiring a reaction from him. Though, he didn't say anything, he only kept the smug smirk on his lips, his eyes narrowing at you as he studied you. It's like he knew what you wanted and he refused to give it to you.

The silence was deafening, and it was making you squirm underneath his nose. You hated the way he could command a moment perfectly.

"A brave little thing, aren't you?" Snape said. Little thing? Who did he think he was?

"Why did you follow me, Snape?" You questioned him, ignoring his demeaning insult. You were curious as to why he followed you, surely there were better things to do than pursue the Herbology professor. "I was merely curious as to why you took off at such speed." He answered matter-of-factly.

"Hm," You clenched your jaw, "and were you satisfied with your findings?" You asked tauntingly. Your breath hitched as he stepped towards you again, making you step backwards until your back hit the wall. Your chest was quite obviously heaving at this point, and you were doubtful it was to do with your frustration.

The wizard stared at you for a beat, observing your movements. "It doesn't bode well for you to be found reprimanding your colleagues, Professor L/N." Snape simply said, disregarding your previous question

"I believe you would think different, had you seen what I did, Snape." You replied with a frown. "Pixies were flying freely in his class, causing utter chaos and torment to the students- I mean, they'd hung Longbottom by the hood of his cloak on the chandelier!"

"Lockhart will not last here, we both know that, L/N." Snape declared, leaning back slightly, as if to back off from you. The hostility in him was still present, though. "As for Longbottom, I'm not surprised. That boy is always finding himself in perilous situations." He added, glancing to the right momentarily with a look of disgust. He looked back at you, sending your heart into a rapid beat once more. "I suggest you keep your nose out of things that don't concern you."

"Lockhart came to me." You laughed dryly, offended that he'd assumed you were drawn to the drama. "He came to me for help."

"Poor choice, clearly." Snape sneered. You opened your mouth to bite back at him. "However, possibly a smart move. Choosing the faculty fledgling. Easy to use. Though, evidently, Lockhart did not possess the foresight to see that it would backfire on him. He clearly misjudged your… spunky character." He continued, making you snort. He cocked a questioning brow at the noise. "Do not mistake me, I did take pleasure in watching you admonish that blundering fool."

You were shocked to say the least, to actually hear something positive fall from Snape's lips. Did he really just say that? You stood there, dumbfounded, staring up at him.

"You look startled, Professor L/N," The Potions Master smirked down at you. Understandably, you were speechless. "Is it such a foreign concept for you to hear me speak well of you?"

"I'm astounded that you're surprised by that. It's a rare occasion that you dish out positive feedback, let alone compliments. I thought you were more self-aware than this, Snape." You said, feigning confusion. Snape's smugness was soon wiped clean as another more familiar facial expression of his took residence upon his features - a stone-cold glare

You couldn't help the tiny smile that tugged at the corners of your lips, an unusual warmth blooming in your stomach. Yes, you were truly taking pride in successfully insulting Severus Snape - at this point, who wouldn't?

"Touché." Snape glared at you. Another moment of silence passed through you and Snape as you stared each other down. It was weirdly intimate, again. The two of you seemed to be forming a habit of this.

Snape was the first to break. You gasped softly as the Potions Master swiftly swept away from you, his cloak billowing out behind him like a wave that refused to break. You've come to understand that goodbyes are not in Snape's vocabulary.

Watching him walk down the hallway, you presumed to his quarters, you let your head fall back against the wall behind you. A quiet sigh of relief fell from your lips. You weren't sure how long you could keep up this hateful mask to hide your blooming affection for him. It was easier to pretend that you hated him, even though he sometimes did nearly push you to that extreme.

A week or so went by without another close encounter with Snape, and you were surprisingly content with that fact. It gave you time to process everything and most importantly - settle into your new position as the Herbology professor. You'd partially seen him in the Great Hall for breakfast, lunch and dinner, or whilst walking in the hallways but you never evoked a conversation with him. You acknowledged him with a polite nod, but that was it.

After that unorthodox interaction with him in the hallway that night, the hostility had simmered down between you two. Sure, he was bound to say something tongue-in-cheek soon enough, but you'd avoided him because of that risk, and also to do with the fact that your crush on him was truly growing out of your control. You were just hoping he didn't notice.

Today was a Saturday, and it was around ten o'clock or so in the morning. Since you had no classes today, you thought you'd complete an inventory check, to replace and monitor the levels of herbs and other plant bits and bobs you had. You'd just finished four classes worth of grading after starting at eight o'clock, so you were craving something practical, really. The constant repetitiveness of reading the same thing over and over again almost sent you into an eternal slumber. No Wiggenweld or Wideye potion could have saved you.

As you dug through your cabinets in your greenhouse, you noticed some things were missing. "Huh." You muttered to yourself, sitting back on your haunches, observing the storage unit. You leaned forwards and rummaged through it again, assuming you'd miscounted.

No, you weren't wrong. Things were missing.

Billywig stings, Chinese chomping cabbage, dandelion roots, dittany… Your nose scrunched up in slight annoyance as your mind immediately thought of Snape. McGonagall did mention at the beginning of the year that he might snoop through your cabinets and take some ingredients for his Potions classes. You just didn't expect him to take this much.

Luckily for him, you were in a pleasant mood, so you weren't inclined to scold him for stealing from you, but rather just have a word. Not that he'd care if you did choose to berate him.

You sighed as you stood up from kneeling, your hands brushing off your now dusty skirt. Off you go, to the damp and dingy dungeons - not particularly one of your favourite places at Hogwarts. The weather had really changed over the past few days, it was now nearing the end of September, and so the rain and clouds had really started to take hold. As of right now, it was quite dark and dingy outside, the clouds almost black, like a warning to stay inside. You groaned at the depressing sight. Spring was your favourite season of the year, of course, being a Herbologist.

Quickly scurrying out of your greenhouse, across the outside courtyards and towards an entrance to the castle, your hand rose up to protect your head as a drizzle of rain started to fall. Reluctantly making your way to where Professor Snape resided, a rush of anxiety and butterflies stirred in your stomach. Was this a bad idea? Probably. Were you going to turn back? Possibly.

As you neared the spiral staircase down to the dungeons, a sick feeling gathered within you. Almost like a gut feeling. Perhaps this was a bad idea. You stopped in your tracks for a moment, torn between the desire of running away back to your greenhouse, pretending like you had no clue that Snape had been in your greenhouse and taken some things, and the desire of giving him a piece of your mind, respectfully, of course.

You shook your head to yourself, as if to rid your mind of your doubts, and so you carried on downwards, the smell of damp earth and what seemed to be decaying stone, interwoven with fresh moss. It wasn't too pleasant, but it was bearable, and it reeled you back to your time at Hogwarts when you used to travel down here for your Potions classes with none other than the brooding Professor Snape himself.

Your nose scrunched up as you thought back to the amount of times he had berated you in class for messing up such simple instructions, but you just weren't cut out to be a potioneer; Herbology was your calling.

You hesitated on the last step of the stairs, suddenly regretting your idea of paying the Bat a visit. Fuck it, you thought. You needed to establish some sort of boundaries.

A voice pulled you from your thoughts as you halted your body.

"Professor L/N," Snape's recognisable deep baritone rang out in the dark, gloomy hallway of the dungeons. His tone was almost questioning. It was a given, considering you were not a common passer-by in the dungeons. Thinking about it, this was probably your first time down here in a long time. His lips just uttering your name sent a chill down your spine. You cursed yourself for that. You had to squint slightly to spot his tall, broad and black figure in the shadows, partially illuminated by the torchlights hung against the walls.

"Professor Snape," You greeted back awkwardly. He stood straight, face adorned with his usual cold stare, one hand falling from the knob of his classroom door and moving to clasp his other behind his back. He was clearly waiting for you to explain your reasoning as to why you were down here, but you were sure he had inkling as to why. He wasn't stupid. "Erm." Your mind went blank. This was fucking embarrassing.

You glanced up at Snape, watching him tilt his head at you. He was silent. He was obviously enjoying your squirming as you tried to think of something to say to him.

"I've noticed some things missing from my cabinets." You finally said, trying to push aside the waves of embarrassment that were currently flooding your body. "I'm presuming it's you taking the ingredients?" You questioned quietly, avoiding the risk of conflict with Snape again. As much as it's fun to push his buttons, you did not have the energy this morning.

"Good observation." Snape said blankly, stalking towards you slowly. You felt your heart pick up in speed as another rush of anxiety ran through you.

"I appreciate the fact that you need them for your lessons, but I'd also appreciate the fact if you'd at least tell me." You said politely, desperate to keep the conversation calm and somewhat civil, watching nervously as he walked closer to you. You forgot how intimidating he could be when you weren't fueled by adrenaline and rage.

Snape cocked a brow at you, his eyes narrowing a tad as he studied your face. Your eyes were partially widened, lips parted to some degree. It was a very drastic change from the angry one he'd witnessed in the hallway.

"Would you like me to leave you a poem, and a cookie, too?" Snape teased you with a haughty look, purposefully provoking you. A quiet sigh slipped your lips as you rolled your eyes. That familiar mixture of irritation and lust rushed through your body.

"And here I thought we could have a civil conversation." You said bitterly, looking up into his dark, almost black eyes. Your cheeks burned hotter as you stared up at him. Snape was silent for a moment as he watched you. There was that rage again, bubbling inside you.

"How foolish of you." He simply said, that common amused smirk tugging at his lips. You felt your fists ball again, your nails digging painfully into your palms. This was a mistake for sure, you were in such a good mood today, and one visit to Snape had unravelled that. Gods, he was such an ass.

"Clearly." You bit back, venom sizzling in your voice. Snape's brow quirked at your tone, his eyes flicking between yours, as if trying to read your thoughts.

"If you have come to lecture me on my habits, Professor L/N, then you have come in vain." Snape said, looking down at you, observing your restless movements.

"Why? Too far up your own ass to accommodate other people's wishes?" You challenged him, though, you slightly regretted your choice of words almost immediately. Sometimes, you wondered how this man made you lose your temper and the leash on your tongue so easily.

"You are way out of your depth here, L/N." Snape warned you, his voice darkening.

Yeah, you were fully aware of that. Though, being the stubborn person you were, you refused to back down from Snape. This also seemed to be becoming a habit.

"Perhaps," you noted, quirking your lip, "or am I just making a good observation?" The rush of adrenaline pumped through you again, prompting your brave and daring words. You did not want to make an enemy out of Snape, but his rude and unnecessary comments were starting to grate against your patience. A beat of silence passed over the two of you before he spoke again.

"Will that be all, Professor L/N?" Snape glared at you, his patience wearing thin with you. The wizard's voice was harsh, almost biting. Maybe you really did piss him off this time. As much as you wanted to continue throwing insults at him to satisfy your own selfish needs, you should really take this moment to leave. Avoid making things worse, no?

"In truth, no," You shook your head at him, prompting a roll of his eyes. You clenched your jaw at his reaction. "I'd like it if you did actually leave a note or something along those lines to let me know what you've taken and used." You said calmly, trying to avoid another bout of conflict with Snape. The two of you seemed to butt heads constantly, probably due to your rather obvious differences.

"Yes, yes. I'll be sure to do that the next time I require your herbs or plants." Snape replied curtly, seemingly a little tired of this conversation.

Your face quickly twisted into a contortion of shock and confusion.

"…Okay… thank you?" You stumbled, frowning suspiciously at him. So, he just accepts your demand? Like that? Is this what it's like to be treated as an equal? Whatever you could get, you were going to take it. Just bite the bullet and leave, you thought. This was it.

Or was this some sort of mind-fuck?

"Do not thank me." Snape scoffed, his hands still clasped behind his back menacingly. Ah, no, there it was, you thought. 'Thank you' did not exist in his vocabulary either, then?

"So close, yet so far." You muttered amusedly, tilting your head at Snape curiously. You waited for another glare from him for being a smart-arse, but instead, Snape's lips quirked up into a smirk - an amused one at that.

It was a weird interaction. But with Snape, things were going to be weird; he wasn't a normal person. You'd be beating a dead horse if you wanted him to act like an average human being.

In secret, over the past few encounters with you, he'd grown respect to you - albeit a little - but it was enough. Satisfactory. In regards to the tongue-in-cheek, bordering offensive comments that fell from his lips, he only tended to push your buttons because you made it so easy for him, he found it rather entertaining to get under your skin and irritate you. In fact, it was highly amusing to him. For all his time at Hogwarts, it was refreshing to have someone that could keep up with his remarks and keep him on his toes, however annoying you may become. Although, he would never admit that to you… unless poisoned with Veritaserum.

"I have some grading to do." Snape announced, breaking the silence and your train of thought, continuing to stare down at you, inferring that he was indeed leaving now. You swallowed, nodding. The air surrounding you two was… weird, you couldn't put your finger on it. It wasn't uncomfortable, but it also wasn't comfortable.

"Likewise, Snape."

"Severus," he corrected you, narrowing his eyes, "you may call me Severus. We are, after all… colleagues now." Severus said, hesitating like he was almost inclined to say equals. You felt your heart leap into your mouth at the correction and you blinked quickly, a little taken aback at how he had suddenly changed. It was like you'd finally broken through his first defences and possibly earned some sort of respect. Perhaps he was testing you those past times, seeing how far you'd go, seeing if you'd break down and leave Hogwarts because of his relentless and cruel remarks. Nonetheless, you persevered through it and came out on top, despite the probable heightened blood pressure caused by the frustration and stress he gave you.

Still speechless from what he'd said, you stared up at him with big, wide eyes. "I suppose you may call me Y/N." You said quietly, your cheeks beginning to tint pink again from the intense gaze the two of you were holding. There it is, you inwardly groaned as your body betrayed you in front of Severus once again. At this point, there was more chance of you becoming the Minister of Magic than hiding your feelings. It was only going to get worse, you thought helplessly.

Severus tilted his head at you for a moment, observing you before swiftly turning around with a dramatic twirl of his cloak and floating into his office, the door shutting behind him with a heavy thud.

What a start to the year this has been…

ok so there's part 3, i'm not quite sure if i like how it ended, but i'll keep it for now. i do like the part where they exchange first names, sort of like the first bit of them tolerating each other B)

-> next on the agenda, the dueling club scene because that is just too good not to include omg. might change it up a bit tho.. we shall see!

this was lowkey an unintentional enemies to lovers fic i wont lie lmfao

once again thank you for reading, if you enjoyed it please let me know!! 🩷

part 4

taglist:

@a-laufeyson

@emilynissangtr

@livillain00

@meowskii

@nooneeveryonenoone

[neverfilth]

Did a bit more thinking about the Trophywife bros with @dr-chosenberg (and some art as well!)

Short summaries of each brother:

• Gilderoy (Modella's Husband)

The typical full of himself asshole. He sees himself as head of the pack. Dedicated to the family business since he inherited the biggest chunk. Also resentful that he has to share it with his brothers.

• Sterling (Dottie's ex-husband)

The one who works the hardest by default, which is why he never has time to spend with Dottie (as she mentions). He works the hardest because he feels it's the only way he would have a chance at dethroning his brother.

He is very much a workaholic and is kind of distant and robotic.

• Cooper

The playboy. He knows he's lowest on the food chain, so he doesn't even try to work hard. He just uses his inherited fortune to pick up chicks and party off in Sinville. Used to be classmates and friends with Modella. Her connection to him is what led to her marrying into the family. The reason he is so casual with love now is that he lost his chance with the woman he truly cared about.

After divorcing Dottie, Sterling remarries to their maid Josephine "Fifi" Tufthunter.

She would often clean his office, and he would vent at her. Her lack of rebuttal and high work ethic made him fall for her, and he enjoyed her company more than Dottie.

The latter talked too much and would tend to drive conversations towards herself.

He wanted a maintenence free wife who was content with the little time and energy he could apply to her.

After Bloberta is married, Mrs. Hymentact starts pushing Modella to find a husband as soon as possible. As she can't stand the idea, her younger daughter would've married first.

She urges Modella to find the perfect husband, one that would put more prestige on the family name.

She uses her relations with Cooper to get closer to the family, and even though the two have feelings for one another, she ends up marrying Gilderoy to satisfy her mother's expectations.

The two have absolutely no chemistry, and she is miserable with him.

Have a few other things I'm considering, but this is the baseline!

[defectivevillain]

dueling determination

pairing: severus snape x reader

reader’s pronouns: he/him

read the series here [unfortunately, this piece won’t make sense otherwise]

Gilderoy Lockhart just can’t seem to take a hint. The man is, in a word, an asshole. He has the most inflated sense of self-importance that you’ve ever seen in a person. Every conversation, Lockhart will brag and boast about himself, to the point where all your other colleagues are beginning to become annoyed with him too. Unfortunately, he sits next to you, so you’re somewhat unable to avoid him. At least, for a little while.

You soon begin to master the art of hasty exits from the Great Hall after meals. You arrive a few minutes early and eat quickly. The moment you see him enter, you exit. It leaves little time for discussion and even littler time for him to annoy you. Unfortunately, the professor catches on. To your immediate discontent and frustration, he starts arriving to breakfast at the same time as you. His seat is right next to yours—thank Merlin, you think sarcastically—and his desire for conversation is prevalent as always. You feel yourself growing more snappy and annoyed with each remark.  

The next meal, you have a brilliant idea. You pass your seat, ignoring the confused glances leveled at you, and continue walking until you’re behind an empty chair. Relief flooding through you, you sit down and begin eating. Unfortunately, after a few minutes, someone sits down next to you. You’re a moment away from cursing Lockhart out when you realize that the professor sitting at your side isn’t Gilderoy Lockhart.

“Severus,” you remark, eyes widening as you realize that the seat you chose is directly next to the Potions professor.

“What are you doing?” Severus asks, his eyes flitting about your face as if searching for an emotion that will give him the answer. You blink up at him and he looks across the hall, to where you usually sit. Understanding falls onto his face. Lockhart sits at his typical seat. His posture is abnormally straight and his eyes flit about the area. Severus turns back to his food. “Seeking refuge, I see.” You nod and take another bite of your food, risking a glance at your old seat. Unsurprisingly, Lockhart isn’t silent.

“Merlin, does he ever shut up?” You bemoan, watching as Lockhart talks to the Muggle Studies professor—who looks rather chagrined at the thought of being in a conversation with him. Unfortunately, you don’t realize you’re starting until he’s returning your gaze. Lockhart grins and gets up from his seat. Dread coils in your chest and you watch in slow-motion as the menace himself walks over to you. You tilt your head down and stare at your plate, but it doesn’t seem to dissuade him in the slightest.

“Professor!” The Defense Against the Dark Arts professor grins, running a hand through his hair in a gesture that is clearly supposed to be attractive. Unfortunately, it only makes you want to punch him in the face. Severus is silent at your side. You have to fight to keep the disgusted snarl from your face. “You’re not leaving me all by my lonesome over there, are you?”

“Lockhart,” you greet him in response, clenching your fists in your lap. Thankfully, the tablecloth hides them from view. You have to take several deep breaths before you can continue speaking to him. “I would never. I was simply… seeking some solitude.”

“Of course, of course,” Lockhart nods. He pushes a strand of hair behind his ear and you resist the compelling urge to stand up and walk away. “I simply can’t stand people who refuse to stop talking.” At that, Severus lets out a pointed cough that sounds rather reminiscent of a snarky laugh. Of course, Lockhart doesn’t notice. He only notices what he wants to notice, it seems. You have to resist a chuckle at the irony of his statement, too.

“Anyway, did you need anything from me?” You interject before he can go into one of his tormentous spiels about his adventures abroad. Lockhart blinks at you for a long moment. You’re rather brutally aware of Severus’s presence at your side. You want to be embarrassed, but you’ve made your disdain of the Defense professor clear to Severus many times now. Lockhart simply doesn’t give up.

“I was going to ask if you’d be able to join me for a demonstration duel,” the professor eventually says, an easy smile on his face. At least, you suspect that he thinks it to be easy. To you, however, the smile looks strained at best. You inhale slowly, trying to manifest the patience you need to finish the conversation. “It’s for the dueling club I’ve started, naturally.”

“Oh, um,” you stammer, relief coursing through you when you realize that he’s just asking for academic purposes. Unfortunately, a practice duel still necessitates the professor’s presence. You sigh, not quite able to come up with an excuse on the spot. “Yeah, sure.” You see Severus eyeing you over his goblet out of the corner of your eye. You pretend not to notice.

“Excellent!” The professor remarks, before proceeding to go into painful detail about where and when the duel is. Once you catch the time and date, you let your attention wander. You’re torn out of your thoughts when Lockhart grips your shoulder briefly. “Your help is greatly appreciated.”  He winks and it makes your skin crawl. You bite down all sorts of insults and instead watch silently as he walks away.

Suddenly, you’re not hungry anymore. You push your plate away from you and get to your feet. Inexplicably, Severus gets up too. The two of you share a walk along the halls, until Severus turns a corner to go to his office. You make the way back to your own office, thoughts running a mile a minute. You hadn’t really wanted to volunteer yourself for that duel in the first place, but the entire prospect felt unavoidable.

As the week continues, you begin to dread the coming duel with Lockhart. The wizard is immensely frustrating, talking your ear off at every possible moment. Despite your attempts at avoidance, you constantly cross paths with him—to the point where you begin to believe that he’s orchestrating it. You’re both grateful and miffed that your classes are keeping you busy. You don’t see Gilderoy much throughout the rest of the week, but time passes rather fast and before long, you’re standing in the room that Lockhart has designated for the duel.

“Professor!” The DADA professor greets you with a smile. “Glad you could make it. You know I greatly appreciate your assistance.”

“Any time,” you respond with a smile that hurts your cheeks. Thankfully, Lockhart is too busy with his preparations to notice the discord in your voice. You feel rather out of place, but you manage to have a few conversations with some of your students to pass the time. Lockhart seems moments from getting things started when, suddenly, the doors swing open and a commanding presence enters the room. You watch in thinly-concealed shock as Hogwarts’s Potions professor walks towards you.

“Severus?” You blink at him once, twice. He stares at you in response. You’re almost expecting this to be a fever dream, because Severus’s presence is entirely surprising. “What are you doing here?” You’re sure the relief you’re feeling is showing in your voice, but you can’t find it in yourself to care. Surely, this won’t be that bad if Severus is here.

“I’ll be your opponent,” Severus remarks, an unreadable expression on his face. You withhold the urge to grimace. Of course, you’re very grateful that you’re not alone with Lockhart. On the other hand, you had been anticipating the duel to be rather easy. Now that Severus is your opponent, you know that will not be the case. Fortunately, Lockhart gets things started before you can stammer and stutter any longer.

Gilderoy seems bent on making his presence known, as he goes into explanations concerning duels and the proper behavior when dueling someone. Admittedly, the longer he talks, the more you’re getting nervous. Severus is one hell of a duelist. You, on the other hand… Well. Your expectations for yourself are extremely low. You don’t think the duel will last much longer than a minute. Severus will beat you soundly.

Lockhart finally steps off the stage, to your simultaneous relief and regret. Before long, Severus and you are walking to the center of the stage, before turning on your heels and taking three paces forward. The moment this is completed, you whip around and cast a shield. You think it to be an unnecessary movement, but you end up blocking a curse that would’ve definitely hurt your chances at winning.

You can’t even begin to describe the duel that ensues. Your focus has never been more intense, and your movements have never been quicker. Severus is a serious threat, after all. His spellcasting is unrivaled. Hell, he’s made spells before. Merlin, you’re kind of screwed, aren’t you? Despite your rather low chances at winning, you manage to focus on the duel at hand. Severus’s command of magic is beautiful and you find yourself nearly becoming entranced by it. You’ve never been more thankful for nonverbal spells, because Severus is far too fast and agile for you to cast verbal spells with accuracy.

You have no idea how much time passes. Everything in your surroundings fades to the background. Your breaths are short and winded, but you’re certain you’ve never felt more alive. At one point, you have to wipe the sweat off your forehead from the exertion. Severus takes that opportunity and casts something at you, to which you dodge and laugh. Your voice echoes in the silent chamber and if you had time, you’d feel embarrassed. Severus’s gaze falls on you as you smile, and you take the afforded opportunity for distraction and cast a spell to disarm him. There is nothing but silence for several moments and your heart is racing as you hold Severus’s wand in your nondominant hand. You breathe heavily, taking on the shocked looks on the students’ faces. For almost an infinite amount of time, no one makes a sound. Thankfully, Lockhart must be entirely immune to the tension, because he claps his hands and makes himself the center of attention once more.

The Hufflepuff students cheer and you roll your eyes. You look to Severus, only to find that he has a rather uncharacteristic expression on his face. He almost looks impressed, awed. His dark eyes are gleaming in the low light of the room. You bite your lip and avert your eyes, passively allowing Lockhart to flit about and talk about the duel. Despite all the attention from all the students and the rather annoying Defense professor, you only really notice Severus’s gaze burning into the side of your face.

“Excellent!” Gilderoy claps, turning to address the students gathered around the space. “Well done, indeed. Unfortunately, that’s all the time we have for this week! Our next meeting will be focused on defensive charms.” With that, the students all file out of the room. You turn to Severus and hold out his wand in your palm. Severus has a complex expression on his face as he takes a step closer and reaches out to take his wand back. The look on his face is a strange mix of wariness and something darker. You’re certain that you would’ve been stuck staring at Severus for hours, if not for Lockhart clapping a hand on your shoulder and breaking the tension. The Defense professor continues to praise you, but you only have eyes for Severus’s withdrawing figure.

[atlasdoe]

today (May 2nd) marks an entire year since i last updated Only Survivors so to prove to you that i am actually writing the next chapter here's a snippet

"And where are your school friends today, Severus?" Emmeline asked, feeling the blood rush into her ears with each word.

Snape looked unfazed. "One of them Is currently working at Hogwarts alongside me," he answered with a smile. Aurora Sinistra, Emmeline recalled.

Snape went on. "Another is working with children across the UK. She's helping provide homes for those who lost their parents during the war." Charity Burbage. "I'm not sure what one of them is doing. After the war he left and I haven't heard from him since."

Emmeline had a hard time placing that one before Remus scoffed with an eye roll. "Yeah, that's because he wasn't just a Death Eater but a liar," he accused, causing Emmeline to remember. Ah yes, Edmund Avery Jr.

Severus shrugged, but didn't say anything in response, he just continued. "Two of them were killed during the war." Evan Rosier and Juliette Wilkes. "And the last..." he sighed and finished his drink. "The last is in Azkaban." Bruce Mulciber.

Emmeline expected Snape to show some kind of remorse. She thought that he would cry or admit that he didn't spend their school years with the right people as she had seen Pandora do so many times since Frank and Alce's torture. Only Snape didn't seem sorry at all. Instead, he turned to Remus.

"Two are successful," he said simply. "That's something you wouldn't be able to relate to."

Remus' jaw clenched but he stayed silent. Snape smirked slightly and spoke again. "Two are successful," he repeated. "One I haven't heard from in years, two were killed and the last is in Azkaban." Their eyes locked as Snape's smirk grew. "What was that you were saying? About how different we are?"

"Don't you dare," Remus hissed, standing up despite his bad knees and pushing the table away. "Your friends killed my friends!"

"My friends had nothing to do with the death of Lily, James and Peter," Snape argued, also standing up and mirroring Remus' stance leaning across the table. "The person who killed your friends is called Sirius Black, and you know more than anyone that he is anything but my friend." Snape's head tilted, as his face suddenly grew an amused expression. "What was he to you, Lupin?" he mocked.

Remus' face did something that Emmeline had never seen it do before. All expression of anything gentle had been replaced with what could only be described as his wolf side coming out. She, along with Gilderoy both held their breath as they watched the two men stand off.

In the past six years that Emmeline had gotten to know Snape and Remus after the war, she knew that neither of their first insistences would be violent, but at that moment it looked as if Remus was about to transform into the wolf and kill Snape there and then. Snape's face still held the cruel smile. He knew that he struck the exact nerve that he wanted to and as much as Emmeline wanted to hate him for it, she couldn't. Snape was right. They really weren't that different after all.

Something in Remus' eyes told Emmeline that he was thinking the same. She didn't know if she should've prepared herself for him to hit Snape or hug him. In the end, he did what she really should've expected him to do all along, considering it's all he ever seems to be capable of. Remus didn't face the facts head on or even try to deny them. He just drew back and walked away.

That was the difference between them, Emmeline realised. At least Snape had the courage to not run away from his past.

[iamnmbr3]

i love your taste in hp fics. what have you been reading lately?

why thank you! :) here you go!

Heart of Emeralds by Phantomato (words: 10,200 | rating: T | Regulus Black/Tom Riddle | Major Character Death)

The locket horcrux has his own agenda: reunite the soul, rejoin the main body. When Regulus’ defection gives him an opportunity to set this in motion, he finds himself relying on Regulus’ questionable loyalty.

The customer is always right by Metalomagnetic (words: 7,200 | gen | unrated)

In the summer of 1945, Caractacus Burke hires a new assistant to help with the shop. His son doesn't know what to make of Tom Riddle, the young charismatic man that doesn't seem to mind working hard for just a handful of coins.

Inhuman Resources by Asenora (words: 4,210 | rating: G | gen)

Speaking from the fire in the Gryffindor Common Room, Sirius Black will assure his godson that Dolores Umbridge is definitely not a Death Eater. How does he know? Well, he's seen the paper trail...

of all my demon spirits by basketofnovas (slashmarks) (words: 1,730 | rating: T | Gen)

After the end of term, Ginny gets a new diary and struggles with the events of her first year.

The Shack at the End of the Lane by Asenora (words: 4,156 | rating: G | gen)

It was an unconventional choice, on the part of the universe, to make Tom Riddle's victims meet his mother the moment they arrived in the afterlife.

Gilderoy Lockhart: Dabbling with Dark Lords by Math_and_Lunacy (words: 1,826 | unrated | gen)

He didn’t know who this Harry Potter person was, but surely Potter wasn’t half as brave and heroic as Gilderoy. Where, after all, were the series of books detailing Harry Potter’s adventures? Where were Potter’s fans?

Amulette d'amour by The_Carnivorous_Muffin, Vinelle (words: 97,035 | Tom Riddle/Alphard Black | unrated)

Tom is commissioned to repair a magical amulet.

Escape by SofiaDragon (words: 50,231 | rating: M | Gen)

Harry Potter reacts much differently to the Dementor attack on his cousin and it causes a cascade of changes in the lives of everyone he knows. He runs away to France to escape the English Ministry's bias and gets a solicitor (lawyer) to deal with his legal issues. Part one of a book 5 and on re-write that can be read stand-alone. Featuring: Snape's POV. People making decisions for Harry without talking to him about it first. The Horcrux in his head influencing Harry's mind. Professional psychologists/mind healers doing good work. Snape using cannibus. He would not go back to Privet Drive without bringing the law. He’d lose his temper and end up in Azkaban. Even with aurors at his back, he was likely to hex dear old Tuney into next week if he had to interact with her again. The fines would be worth it.

[wolfstarhaven]

Hi! Could you rec some fics where at the beginning remus is in a relationship with somone else? Sorry if you've already answered something similar to this 😅

Hi anon🌸 Thank you for this lovely request! I just wanna clarify: Remus might not be in a relationship in the beginning of each of these fics — but at some point he’s dating someone else. Sirius is not happy.

Happy birthday, you.,by WrappedUp (66k)

Sirius Black is about to turn thirty. But, like, it’s not a whole thing. It’s fine. And he’s absolutely not going to have a meltdown, fall in love with his oldest friend, and sabotage his own happiness.

He’s absolutely not.

General themes: muggle!au; slow burn; oblivious!sirius; jealous sirius; pining; hurt/comfort; happy ending; Remus/OC.

lover, you should've come over, by dykesiriusblack (105k)

Sirius Black is a mess.

Remus Lupin is new.

It's all quite complicated.

or

The story of Remus and Sirius meeting at age 20, falling in love without meaning to, and not knowing how the fuck to deal with it for far too long.

General themes: muggle!au; ANGST!!!; themes of depression and anxiety (read the tags carefully!); slow burn; friends with benefits; happy ending; beautiful prose; Remus/OC.

a sawn off shotgun, by dykesiriusblack (14k)

But the stage lights blur out the crowd and Sirius gets to his knees in front of Remus with their guitar and bass between them, and he does it again in their hotel room, has been doing it since their first tour, has been wanting to do it since he first learned about wanting, the kind that ruins you.

a band, a tour, and the kind of undefined relationship that drives you insane.

General themes: band!au; friends with benefits; jealous!sirius; beautiful prose; Remus/OC (it’s a fake relationship tho)

Befriending A Ravenclaw, by kreestar (55k)

Sirius has made a point to never learn the names of anyone in other Houses. There was no need to, in his astute opinion. Everyone who was not in Gryffindor must lack some intrinsic qualities which would therefore make them utterly intolerable as companions. And the Marauders - all three of them - did not need any intolerable fourths, thank you very much.

i.e, Remus is a Ravenclaw Prefect and Sirius is finding it harder and harder to admit he isn't obsessed with him.

General themes: Hogwarts era; canon divergence; Ravenclaw!Remus; oblivious!Sirius; jealous!Sirius; Remus/OC.

A Bird At Your Door, by moongoblin (32k)

Of pub quizzes, old films, Chinese takeaways, broken arms, and impassioned discussions of literature: Remus is confusing, and Sirius is just trying to figure him out.

General themes: muggle!su; uni!au; slow burn; pining; jealous!sirius; light angst; happy ending; Remus/Gilderoy Lockhart (briefly).

Paper Walls, by Kember (66k)

Have you ever lived with a person you just can’t stand? Everything about them rubs you the wrong way, and yet, you can’t help thinking what it would be like to kiss them… Yeah, welcome to the life of Remus Lupin. He just wants to keep his head down, crack on with his studies, and maybe graduate at some point in the future. But his juvenile crush on his arrogant, impulsive, reckless housemate, Sirius Black, is going to be a major bump in that perfect road.

General themes: muggle!au; university!au; flatmates; light enemies to lovers; Remus/Mary (only temporarily ofc).

Enjoy! (Also, hi! I haven’t disappeared I promise)

xx Elliot

[gildeheartlockroy]

Free Response

Gilderoy Lockhart/Female Reader One-shot

🔞MINORS DNI🔞

Warnings: explicit, smut, professor/student relationship but reader is of age (7th year)

Also not proofread because I’m ashamed of my latest hyperfixation

My AO3 collection of Lockhart fics

“You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me…” you hear one of your classmates grumble from in front of you, voicing the entire class’ thoughts.

There are only so many times you can defend that smiley idiot. Sure, you can be delusional at times—foolish on occasion—but even you know that this is just absurd.

How can you possibly justify another pop quiz that has zero to do with defending yourself against the Dark Arts, the very subject that you’re supposed to be learning here? Another pop quiz about Gilderoy Lockhart’s evening haircare routine, with a strong focus on which tonic he prefers over the other?

There is no way in hell you’re going to be able to rationalize this as just another misguided attempt by the flashy professor to entertain you all and take your minds off the rumored Chamber of Secrets. Not when Lockhart looks as if he’s proctoring an O.W.L. rather than a list of questions you’re pretty sure he grabbed directly from Witch Weekly.

He paces along the perimeter of the classroom, observing the class for any signs of cheating. You don’t know how to tell him that nobody—not even you—would resort to that for such a pointless quiz, mainly because that would be more effort than his class is even worth.

You used to take pride in acing these quizzes, back when you were just another one of his awestruck students. Much has changed since then, but these pointless, self-absorbed exams of his have stayed painfully consistent.

What exactly are you supposed to do with this information after you graduate…?

When you get to the final two questions— “What is Gilderoy Lockhart’s favorite snack?” and “What is Gilderoy Lockhart most proud of?” your mind immediately supplies several lewd responses that you mentally chuckle at. Imagine the look on his face if you actually…

Your eyes briefly snap up to where he’s standing over one of your classmate’s shoulder, tutting loudly at whatever half-baked response the disgruntled boy wrote. Beside him, a few of his friends audibly snicker, which makes Lockhart look around suspiciously.

You quickly turn back to your quiz before he can make eye-contact with you, and you brazenly decide to spice things up for once.

After all, you’re fairly confident he won’t actually discipline you for it. Not if he doesn’t want to risked getting sacked first.

Half an hour later, Lockhart collects the quizzes and shamelessly rifles through them at the front of the room, his feet propped up on his desk.

While he does so, your classmates exchange exasperated eye-rolls but for once, you’re paying rapt attention.

“Some of you really need to read Gadding with Ghouls again,” he chastises your class, flipping through the pieces of parchment with a dissatisfied frown. He opens his mouth to make yet another complaint, but the words die in his throat as his widening eyes stare at one particular student’s answers.

Gilderoy Lockhart’s favorite snack is me. His favorite flavor is whatever my pussy tastes like.

Face flushed and heartbeat thrumming in his eardrums, he can barely process the last question’s response.

Gilderoy Lockhart is most proud of the way he fills me with his cum almost every night after fucking me all over his classroom and office.

Truthfully, you almost chickened out of that last one. However, you only had about a minute to make that hasty decision and you opted to just throw caution to the wind.

Good thing you did, too, because you’ve never seen him so flustered that he can’t even speak. Hell, he hasn’t moved a muscle since he saw the absolute filth you wrote on a graded quiz, one you’ll inevitably fail if he turns out to find the whole thing in poor taste.

After several minutes of unusual silence, with most of the class now expectantly waiting for the slack-jawed professor to announce the overall results of the quiz, Lockhart finally gathers himself and clears his throat.

“For homework, I want you all to redo this quiz and tell me which exact chapter you got your answers from.” When he receives only a chorus of exaggerated groans in reply, he loudly adds, “And I expect you all to reflect on why you missed such easy questions to begin with! Now, I’m going to hand back your quizzes. Come on up when I call you, then you may go. Let’s see…”

Huh. That’s unusual.

He’s never ended class this early before, and he sure as hell has never bothered to return your classwork individually.

However, it doesn’t take long for you to realize that he’s deliberately placed your quiz in the back of the pile.

One by one, your classmates hurriedly flee the classroom before Lockhart decides to assign another poem on top of the quiz redo. He waits until the last student is halfway out the door before finally calling you up.

You pretend not to look too guilty as you awkwardly amble towards the front of the classroom, where Lockhart is perched on the edge of his desk and making a show of flipping to the very last page of your quiz.

“While I’m fairly confident that I remember most of what I wrote in my number two bestseller,” he begins in a low voice, shaking his head in disbelief, “I must know where exactly in Gadding with Ghouls did you find the answers to these two?”

“The unreleased copy,” you reply immediately, having spent the last eight minutes preparing your comeback while you waited for the rest of the class to leave. “The one you’d find in the Restricted Section.”

Lockhart audibly gulps as you draw closer, reaching out for your quiz. You innocently brush against his white-knuckled fist as you try to grab the parchment, but he swiftly reaches behind him and shoves them into his desk drawer.

You raise an eyebrow and he grins. “There’s no need for you to do the assignment. Full marks as always.”

And before you can let out a sigh of relief, he grabs you and practically throws you onto his desk, sending a few of his framed photographs and several copies of Magical Me crashing to the floor.

Your panties are off in a second, and you see him shoving these into his robes for safe-keeping.

“Hey! I like those,” you complain as you make yourself comfortable on the polished surface, spreading your legs and flipping your skirt up for good measure. Lockhart practically starts drooling and, lacking any form of self-control, hungrily shoves his face between your legs to lap at your wet slit.

You gasp as his tongue slides into your tight heat, his nose pressing against your clit. When you begin to grind down on him for more friction, he growls and wordlessly begins teasing your cunt with a finger, roughly sliding his tongue over your clit. Your legs shake as he adds another finger, clearly impatient and perhaps a little irritated at your cheeky behavior. Still, you can’t deny that seeing him so serious—so unamused by your antics—has you soaked in anticipation for whatever retaliation he has in store.

Lockhart sucks your clit between kitten licks, fucking you quickly with two fingers as he does so. Your hips move on their own accord, grinding into his hand and face as you chase your release.

When you’re close, you half-expect him to pull back and rightfully deny you your orgasm. After all, you’re the one who unashamedly put him on the spot today for no real reason other than to see his reaction. To your surprise, however, Lockhart only fucks you harder, shoving his fingers as deep as they’ll go while sucking on your clit so hard that your eyes roll to the back of your head.

You cry out his name as you fall apart for him, gasping as he continues to fingerfuck you and trace circles on your clit with his hot tongue. It’s only when you pat his head, silently pleading with him to give you a break, does he detach himself from your lower half, panting heavily and looking absolutely debauched.

While you catch your breath, he shakily unbuttons his trousers and shoves them down just past his thigh, along with his briefs. You catch sight of his flushed cockhead jutting out of his golden robes and you don’t hesitate to reach out and gently stroke him before attempting to guide him towards your awaiting entrance.

Unfortunately, this position isn’t the most comfortable given how unexpectedly Lockhart threw you across his desk. Not to mention, a wooden surface cluttered with books and various pieces of parchment isn’t the most comfortable place to lay back on…

“Hold on,” you mutter as you hop off the desk. You grab the handsome wizard’s shoulders and firmly push down, gesturing for him to sit on the floor. He does so with a confused tilt of his head, which instantly snaps back in surprise when you unceremoniously sink down on his eager cock, your cunt easily accommodating his familiar length. You bottom out in one smooth motion, rolling your hips when you feel him brush your cervix. He groans as he shakily leans back against the front of his desk, eyes trained on your bouncing form as you ride him for all he’s worth.

After a few unsuccessful attempts, he finally manages to sync his thrusts perfectly with your movements so he meets you halfway though your descent. That only makes you grind on his cock harder, which in turn drives him to buck up with more force. It almost feels like a contest that neither of you want to lose—not that there are any losers in a situation like this—and all you can think of is how perfectly his cock fits in your cunt and how much you want to feel it pulse inside of you.

Lockhart seems to be thinking the exact same thing because he bares his teeth and starts fucking up into you in sharp, quick bursts. You almost topple over from the sudden change of pace but he grabs your arms to hold you steady and as he takes charge and holds you still while he continues to piston his cock in and out of your slick core.

Dazed, you can only watch as he nears his climax, his eyes glued to where his cock disappears beneath your skirt. When you reach down to lift the garment so he can see better, his eyes widen in surprise and then he looks at you almost helplessly as he spills into you with a hoarse, drawn-out cry of your name. Rolling your hips slowly to help him through his orgasm, you lean forward and press your lips against his. Lockhart kisses you back eagerly, sloppily. His tongue finds yours and you smile as he explores the inside of your mouth. He only pulls back to hold your hips still with a hiss, his oversensitive cock twitching inside of you.

“I really am most proud of this,” he mutters into your neck when he can finally trust his voice to speak. He leans forward to rest his forehead against yours as you laugh breathlessly.

You hope he never stops giving those stupid pop quizzes.

[futurequibblerjournalist]

i just know you'd love an excuse to yap about these two because not enough people do so gimme your Pandora x Xenophilius headcanons pleeeaaasee < 3

Yess I don't think there's a time where I couldn't yap about these two oh my god

There's just so many good flavours of them. My personal favourite headcanon is Pandora Rosier and Xenophilius Malfoy (yes he's Lucius's younger brother—or half brother technically, in my head they don't share a mum) and they chose the name Lovegood together because that's something that represents their values while also distancing them both from their pureblood families.

They also both wore bright yellow to their wedding. Luna mentions at Fleur and Bill's wedding that her father taught her that sun colours at weddings brought good luck so I think it's cute to assume that Xenophilius and Pandora wore sun colours at their wedding.

I think Barty was the first person who got introduced to Xenophilius when he and Pandora first started going out (Pandora was testing the waters for telling Evan and also since Barty is a Ravenclaw like them, and a snoopy, gossipy one at that, it would be more difficult to hide from him). Barty fondly describes him as the humanised version of a wet cotton bud to tease them both but I do imagine they get along.

I've also played around with the idea of Barty and Xenophilius being roommates, so there's that.

I think Pandora was close with Sybill when she still attended (though I imagine Sybill to be older than both of them).

Xenophilius was really fond of plants and did great in Herbology—he also had his own little stash of items that were commonly hard to get one's hands on that he got through his father or trading/making deals during the holidays. It's partially because of this that he was part of the Slug Club (Slughorn also just liked the idea of having both brothers in his club after having already taught Lucius).

Pandora was creating spells even back at Hogwarts and she and Xenophilius would frequently try them out together.

In the summer you could often find the two under a tree on Hogwarts grounds making flower crowns for each other.

Pandora struggled more with leaving behind her pureblood family, not because of the values, but because of Evan who she was becoming increasingly estranged from. Only after learning about Evan being a Death Eater did she pull fully away.

I also think she's the one who came up with the idea of changing their names. She was heartbroken by Evan becoming a Death Eater and sought to distance herself as much as possible. Still, she held onto things from their childhood, things she later passed down to Luna in an attempt to make new, positive memories with the things.

Even though she abandoned her pureblood family, a lot of the customs and ways of acting were still deeply ingrained in Pandora and despite living a very carefree lifestyle she was still very tidy and cared a lot about being presentable (this reflected in Luna as well, up until Pandora's death). Xenophilius was the opposite, he was eager to be free in every way possible from what was expected of him.

The walls of their home are full of paintings. Not paintings in frames but just straight on the walls. They spent a lot of time painting together when Pandora was pregnant with Luna and somewhere in the house, they have handprints on the walls. They added Luna's after she was born. Since Pandora's died hers have faded and it's breaking Xenophilius's heart.

This is not a very specific headcanon but in aus I kinda like the idea of Xenophilius being the "hot and funny vacation boyfriend" except when Pandora describes him as such the skittles are standing there like 🧍🧍🧍🧍 "this is the hot and funny guy you've been talking about??? he looks like a ghost and he's currently collecting shells and seaweed???"

They're both huge nerds and they bond over being huge nerds.

Also, I love picturing them as like the Hogwarts parents of Gilderoy Lockhart, it's so sweet to me and I love picturing them being the only ones willing to listen to him ramble/brag about whatever thing he's done now or whatever his Bubbe has told him over the summer

Pandora loves to braid Xenophilius's hair and putting trinkets and shit in there.

You will 100% catch Xenophilius walking around in Pandora's super flowy patchwork skirts.

They both only have one ear pierced (opposite holes) and Pandora pierced Xenophilius's so they could wear matching earrings.

Both are big friendship bracelet wearers

They're the most queer coded straight ship to me

The first time Pandora heard Xenophilius curse was when he was trying to put together furniture for their house (even with the help of magic my man could not figure it out). Pandora proceeded to join him in yelling at the furniture, not because she couldn't figure it out but for support

They would 110% be the couple who goes all out on their Halloween costumes or just costumes in general honestly. Any occasion is an occasion to dress up

I don't think Pandora was soft-spoken at all, those two give me "he asked for no pickles" vibes through and through

Xenophilius does not believe in the concept of time and Pandora wants to be early to everything.

Xenophilius enjoys making jewellery and Pandora loves wearing it. Xenophilius also taught this skill to their daughter.

Please!!! Let's not forget Xenophilius being slightly cross-eyed!!!!!

Pandora was a Quidditch fan (she was influenced by Barty and Regulus, what can I say). The whole family used to go to Quidditch World Cups together and Xenophilius and Luna continued the tradition after Pandora's death

Xenophilius would definitely burn shit with Barty just because

He would also do graffiti with him in modern aus you can't convince me otherwise

These two would dance naked in their backyard in the moonlight

They would both be friends with Aurora Sinistra, Xenophilius bonds with her over stars and astrology while Pandora bonds with her over Alchemy and Spell creation

I feel like Pandora would really like fish/fishing (aquarium date when)

I think that might be all I can say about them for now but ask me again at literally any other time and I will probably have something new to ramble at you vnfjnbjgnbjg

ALSO!!! ACTUALLY!!! We as a fandom need to find a cute ship name for these two istg I need something. Idk what we have to work with but like,, silverpanda or silverseer (though this could be interpreted as Sybill because of the seer thing so???) or something I don't know, if anyone has any better suggestions PLEASE throw them my way

[xzerosparrowx]

wip of my drarry ballet au fic. Inspired by The Red Shoes and Black Swan. This first scene is pretty much the opening scene in The Red Shoes.

P.S. Eat dirt, Joanne.

The excitable chatter of the barely contained line of people fill the street, the sidewalk slick with rain reflecting the warm yellow glow of London. Standing at the foot of a door are two men, shouting out for calm to the rabble of young folks eagerly awaiting for the door to open. Harry, Ron, and Hermione tuck their umbrellas underneath their arms as the line surges forward briefly, a few angry shouts of line cutting behind them that seem to settle as quickly as it had begun.

“See, told you it was a good idea to come two hours early,” Hermione boasts, smiling at Ron and Harry, who are taking the brunt of the pushing line behind them.

“We are forever in your debt, oh wise one,” Ron bows, tipping dangerously forward as someone knocks into him, “watch it!”

There is no build up or warning to the doors opening, but the line still surges forward as if a gun had gone off at the races. The doormen quickly step out of the way as the line scrambles inside and up the stairs, people pushing and jockeying for a better position. Ron holds Hermione’s hand as Harry sprints up ahead, bursting through the doors, stepping over chairs to get to the balcony of the dress circle and laying himself out to save two extra seats.

“Move it!” A tall brunette orders, slapping at Harry’s scuffed dress shoes just as Ron and Hermione arrive, filling the seats.

“Sorry, early bird and all,” Harry smirks, earning a blustering scowl from the brunette and their partner.

“Mum packed us food,” Ron smiles, producing three baking paper lined sandwiches from his large brown coat, “Ham and cheese for ‘Mione and a bacon butty for Harry.”

“God save Molly Weasley,” Harry laughs, biting into the perfectly cooked bacon.

“Programmes?” An usher calls out.

“Two here thanks!” The brunette answers, grabbing two programmes from the usher's hand.

“One here,” Harry stands, taking one of the programmes from the brunette “thank you!” Which earns another round of scowling and muttered swears from the couple.

“Professor Lockhart's music better be good, we’ve spent nearly half of our rent for these tickets,” Ron grumbles as they look over the programme, taking a swig from a bottle that also comes out of his coat.

“Delacour would be able to dance to anything, even if the music is awful,” the brunette says happily.

“Dela-who?”

“Come now,” the brunette laughs, “you cannot have been standing in that line for two hours waiting to see her dance-”

“Not to see anybody. To hear.” Harry interrupts, finishing off his sandwich in two big bites.

“Look,” he continues, brandishing the opened programme in front of the couple, “it says here, composer Gilderoy Lockhart.”

“Have you heard of him?” Hermione asks, a little bite in her politeness that makes Ron smile adoringly at her.

“Never.”

“You will,” Ron says through his now finished sandwich, taking off his coat and hanging it over the balcony.

“He’s our Professor at the Royal Academy of Music,” Hermione informs happily, grabbing the bottle from Ron and taking a long pull.

“So Del-whatever better be good,” Ron side-eyes.

The brunette, now red in the face, opens their mouth to say something just as the orchestra begins to fine tune their instruments.

“Oh! There he is!” Hermione gasps, pointing out towards one of the private boxes closest to the stage.

“Oi! Lockhart!” Harry and Ron bellow together laughing as Lockhart, a handsome fellow with golden curls and a flamboyantly gray and pink suit, smiles up at them and gives them a little wave.

“He must be blind if that's the suit he's wearing,” the brunette laughs before being promptly shushed by the seats behind them as a settled silence moves through the theatre.

The string section fades in, a soft dolce accompanied by a pianissimo, with light touches of pizzicato from the violins. Harry closes his eyes to the melody and theme of the piece, letting it wash over him. It feels like a memory, the music gentle and quietly melancholic, like something he had heard once in a dream. No. No he had heard this before, had hummed the melody in the brittle hours of the morning in his first year at the Academy, had poured over the piano and ink until he dreamt in musical notations.

“Harry, isn't that your string piece from first year?” Ron whispers and Harry can only nod in reply.

“What? It must be a coincidence, right? Lockhart wouldn't lift it, surely,” Hermionie tries to reason, sounding less than convinced even as she says it.

Harry shrugs noncommittally, even when the cold bite of betrayal sinks its teeth into his stomach, and tries to focus on the ballet instead. It has to be a coincidence. Has to be.

The dancers float across the stage on pointe, the muscle in their legs straining while their faces maintain a soft serenity, even under the hot stage lights. Harry had not danced since he was thirteen, but he remembers the hours of practice to maintain a pirouette, the sweat and unhinged strive for perfectionism. He does not envy them. Going into music was the best thing he ever did.

A fanfare of trumpets and the sudden commotion of a battaglia, discordant and heavy, rips Harry from the dancers and back to the music.

“That's yours too, isn't it Harry?” Hermione whispers, but from the furrow on her brow she already knows the answer.

Lockhart stole his music, bits, and pieces of his soul taken apart and repurposed. His eyes naturally fall over to Lockhart, who is just sitting there, enjoying the ballet, enjoying Harry’s music. He wants to scream, to tell everyone that Gilderoy Lockhart is a talentless hack, but Ron has a firm, reassuring grip on his shoulder. Instead, he gets up and pushes past the brunette and their partner without a second to apologize, while Ron and Hermione quickly follow behind him, apologizing profusely as people scowl and complain behind them.

-

“Harry, you can’t just break into Lockhart’s office, you’ll get expelled before you even have a chance to explain why,” Hermione reasons, taking a large gulp of her beer, “besides, we don’t know for sure if he had intended to steal your music or if he just used it for inspiration.”

“Inspiration? Come on, I bet that lousy moron has stolen heaps of students works,” Ron bristles, downing the rest of his beer in one large gulp, “I bet there are heaps of people with the same story as yours that just never brought it forward because Lockhart is famous and ‘respected’.”

In the center of Hog’s Head, a student pub at the corner of Baker and Bickenhall Street, Harry nurses his beer and seethes, Hermione and Ron both encouraging and discouraging his more reckless tendencies in equal measure.

“Ok, so I won’t break into his office,” Harry concedes, plucking a couple of hot chips from the shared bowl in the middle of the table, “but he has stolen my work, note for note. Ron is right, there has to be other students that he’s done this to as well.”

“Maybe you could write a strongly worded letter to Lockhart-”

“A letter?” Ron laughs, “To Professor Gilderoy Lockhart, you stole my music. Fuck you! Sincerely, Harry James Potter.”

“Ok, well how about the director?” Hermione asks, finishing off her beer.

“What director?”

“Of the ballet. I'm sure he would appreciate knowing that the music he was using was stolen,” Hermione smiles, before getting up and going to the bar.

“I'm going to marry her one day, Harry.”

[bloofinntoona]

Hii I hope you’re doing well!! I binged read all your Sebastian Sallow fics and they’re some of my favorites 😭💜 I was wondering if you could write something with a modern Sebastian x f!reader where Gildroy Lockhart is the Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher and reader is swooning over him in class like everyone else and Sebastian is just ‘what does she see in this idiot’ >:( If that’s not enough to write something with, totally disregard this. Thank you!! 💖

so sorry for the super late reply! i had the story in mind for a while, but i just haven't had the chance to post it. enjoy a jealous sebastian sallow fic ;)

༻✦༺ 　༻✧༺　༻✦༺༻✦༺ 　༻✧༺　༻✦༺༻✦༺ 　༻✧༺　༻✦༺

"Let me introduce you to your new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher," the ginger-haired man clad in a golden cloak descended the stairs, flashing his pearly whites, "Gilderoy Lockhart, Order of Merlin, Honorary member of the Dark Force Defense League, and five times winner of Witch Weekly Charming Smiles."

Sebastian Sallow swore if he rolled his eyes harder, they would most definitely pop off from his face. The sound of students swooning echoed across the room, while several students, including Sebastian, physically cringed at the pompous wizard. Defense Against the Dark Arts was his favorite subject, but this particular teacher had absolutely destroyed his will to study for the rest of the year already. The walls that were decorated with different moving photographs and paintings of dangerous creatures now adorned with Lockhart's faces, paintings of the man sitting, standing, and some questionable positions. As Lockhart kept on rambling about his sterling background, Sebastian leaned in to you, ready to whisper a funny insult about the new teacher. Yet to his horror, you saw your eyes locked into the man, mouth agape as you craddle your face in your hands. You let out a small giggle when Lockhart made a stupid joke about some dangerous group of dark wizard that he defeated a while back. Sebastian widened his eyes and retracted his body, letting out a low groan. Surely this is a dream, right? Sebastian thought, Y/N would never fall for this clown.

The Slytherin student lightly slapped his own cheek, prompting the whole class to stare at the boy. "Ah!" Lockhart exclaimed, brows furrowing as he scanned the scroll listing the names of sixth-year students, "Sebastian Swallow, is it?"

Sebastian felt his brows twitched, "It's Sallow, sir." he muttered in annoyance. He heard a chuckle from his side, red tint quickly spread across his freckled face. Being humiliated in front of the class, and the girl that he has been crushing were definitely not on Sebastian's to-do list that day.

"Mr. Sallow, would you like to show the class how to properly duel using the Depulso charm?"

"I don't mind that." Sebastian shrugged. At least he could salvage whatever dignity he had left, knowing well that he excelled in dueling.

As the students stood up to clear the classroom, Sebastian felt a gentle tug on his robe. You flashed the boy a huge smile and a thumb up, "Good luck, I know you can do it!"

Just with that, butterflies flew all over Sebastian's stomach, and he felt his heart was going to explode. He walked over to the long blue carpet, positioning himself in the opposite position from the teacher. With a swish of Lockhart's wand, the floor lifted up. Lockhart fired the first attack, red lights flew from his wand. "Protego!" Sebastian casted, creating a blue barrier that deflected the teacher's casts. "Depulso!" Sebastian replied, pushing Lockhart back. "Ah, I found a talent, but not as good as I!" Lockhart arrogantly claimed, "Shall we continue?"

At this point, you could see visible veins popping on Sebastian's temple. "Confringo!" Fire erupted from his wand, accidentally burning a small patch of Lockhart's blindingly golden cloak. The whole class erupted in a collective gasp as Lockhart frantically cast Glacius to extinguish the fire, leaving a smokey hole in the cloth. "Not too worry, class, a simple spell will fix this," The teacher grinned again, annoyance prevailing in his voice, "Mr. Sallow, that is a dangerous spell and should not be practiced in the school grounds. I'm reducing ten points from Slytherin and detention after classes today. Class dismissed!"

A bunch of students crowded Lockhart, questioning if the man was alright - a few students even shot Sebastian a disgusted look, which the brunette replied with a shrug. Gentle footsteps approached Sebastian, "Are you alright?" you asked, "That was eventful."

"Yes, and I think he deserved to be knocked down a peg or two."

"Well, I don't think he deserved to be burned, Sebastian," you sighed, "now we can't go to Hogsmead after classes..."

Sebastian mentally facepalmed, totally forgetting that he had promised to accompany you to get a book for Potions class, "Oh God, I'm so sorry, Y/N. I'll promise we'll go tomorrow?"

You tapped your chin, pretending to think about the offer before nodding, "Deal. But you owe me a pumpkin pasty."

"Deal."

Detention was as boring as it could be. Seated between four other students, one of them being Garreth Weasley, who apparently created a massive stink bomb in Snape's Potions class. The Gryffindor boy gestured the red mark on his nape, mouthing about how Professor Snape hit him with a book in the very spot. Sebastian snorted before diving back into his essay, a 1,500-word essay about the dangers of fire-based spells.

It took Sebastian about two hours to finish the task. He quickly handed the poorly-written essay to Lockhart, who took the parchment as the two exchanged forced smiles.

As Sebastian opened the door to the hallway, he was taken aback to see a familiar figure, "Y/N..." he called your name, face red as ever, "What are you doing here?"

You shuffled closer to him, offering him your sling bag. "I sneaked some sandwiches for you. 'Bet you're starving for missing dinner."

"I'm not-" A faint sound of rumbling could be heard from the boy's stomach, "thank you, I really appreciate it."

"Tell me why you almost murdered Lockhart earlier?"

Sebastian sighed, his voice low, almost inaudible, "He just annoys me! I don't get what people see in him, he's pompous, proud, and barely teaches any knowledge about the dark arts!" he looked away, "... and I don't like the way you look at him."

Your face turned bright red, matching Sebastian's. You erupted in laughter, "Sebastian, I just find him funny." your legs shifted as you looked away in embarrassment, "Plus, I'm here waiting for you anyway, not him."

You felt Sebastian's arms wrapped around your shoulder, pulling you in a tight hug, burying his face by the back of your neck. You both stayed still, enjoying each other's warmth. You tiptoed and whispered into his ear, "Jealous, much?"

Sebastian's warm breath tickled your cheek as he let out a breathy chuckle, "I'm sorry." His face was just inches away from yours, deep brown eyes gazed on your lips. As you both were slowly closing the gap in between, the classroom door abruptly opened, prompting the two students to break apart.

"For the sake of Merlin's saggy balls, you two better get a room!" Garreth Weasly grimaced as he walked past, shooting a meaningful wink at Sebastian.

[ladyofwiltshire]

When Will I See You Again - Chapter 12 now posted!!!!

Chapter 12: I mean c’mon! Midnight trysts in the prefects' bathroom?

“So-” Gareth started, as they made their way up the tower. “When did Sirius decide to get a perm?”

Gil snorted, “You’re a right arse, you know that?” He stopped on the step above Gareth, blocking his way. “His hair is naturally like that, he just suffocates it in sleekeazy’s. It’s a bit wild actually, like some sort of creature-”

“You’re not falling in love with him, are you?” Gareth asked, leaning against the wall.

“No! No, definitely not! He just- he needs a friend right now, one that knows about the way he’s feeling…and fine, I’ve not been completely where he is. In fact, his father makes mine look like bloody Mother Teresa! But, I know what it’s like to be the black sheep in the family.” Gil looked troubled, like he wanted to either burst out into every detail of what happened to the boy -or tears.

“And what exactly happened to him?” Gareth began to pick at the old stone wall.

“All I will say is that his family know about his preferences, he’s broken the engagement with Cissa, and he was up most of the night with tremors-” Gareth watched Gil blink back a few tears.

“Tremors?” Gareth pushed.

“Gareth, please don’t make me say any more -” Gil pleaded.

“Like the sort you would get if-” Gareth didn’t get a chance to finish his question, as Gilderoy turned his back on him and carried on up the stairs.

Gareth followed him up, lighting a fresh cigarette as he entered his room, he saw Sirius sitting up in the bed, batting away the sweet treats Gil was trying to force feed him.  

“Something sweet will help you feel better, you know.” Said Gareth, making his way over to the pair. Sirius’s face paled, but he took a cauldron cake from the plate and began to pick at it. “You should go back to your dorm, Sir. All the lads are worried about you, said they haven’t heard from you in ages. Ray told me what happened in Defence the other day.” Gareth took a seat on the bed next Sirius, handing him a cigarette.

“I can’t. James hates me, and I don’t think Moo- Remus is my biggest fan right now.” Sirius said, taking a drag from the stick and closing his eyes as he blew out swirls of smoke.

“No one hates you, James certainly doesn’t. He’s only being his usual righteous self over what happened with my brother.” Gareth fiddled with the cigarette between his fingers, mulling over whether he should ask the question that has been playing on his own mind the past few weeks. “Why did you do it? Telling the Snape boy how to get past the willow, what happened?”

“You don’t have to tell us if you don’t want to, dear.” Gil cut in.

“I’m not going to judge you Sirius, I just want to know what happened.” Gareth put his hand on the boy’s shoulder. Sirius looked between the two lads and took a deeper drag.

“He’s been stalking Remus - Snape that is- has been staking Remus. I caught him. He would hide in the corridors, follow him all over the castle. I was scared for my friend. Reg told me that Snape had suspicions over Remus’s condition, that he was trying to get proof. To out him.” Sirius’s hand trembled as he brought the cigarette to his lips. “I caught him, waiting for Remus in the changing rooms for the prefect’s bathroom. James gave us the password and I told him to go down the week before the moon, to see if it helped the aches he gets. I waited for him in the changing room, I felt uneasy about leaving Remus alone. Then, as I sat there I saw him. Snape. Sat disillusioned in the corner, watching Remus get dressed. Obviously he saw all the scars, but what really bothered me was that Remus had no idea of what was going on in the shadows. He violated him Gareth! And I wasn’t going to stand for it!”

Gareth glared at wall, clenching his fists until he could feel his nails dig into his palms, as Sirius continued on. 

“One afternoon, just before the moon, Reg found me and told me that Snape was brewing polyjuice. For Remus. He would have proof then, undeniable proof. I couldn’t let him get away with it, Gareth. I wasn’t going to have him hurt my - hurt my friend.” Sirius finished the cigarette and vanished it in his palm.

“So you thought you’d use Ray to teach the boy a lesson?” Gareth asked, he tried to hard to keep his voice even, still staring ahead of him.

“No, of course not! I didn’t even think he would take it seriously, we were arguing you see. I confronted him, called him a slimy pervert, asked him why he was so obsessed with Remus. He then went on about catching me and Remus by the lake a little while ago, and how he saw us go the willow one night and not leave again til the next morning. He was trying to rile me up, threatened to tell Cissa about my affair with a werewolf.”

“Are you?” Gil finally piped up, “You and Ray, have the pair of you finally-”

[seriouslysam8]

He is startled awake by the ringing of his cell bars... He doesn't even know how long he's been here... Days. Weeks. It could have been minutes for all he knows.

He groggily realizes someone is talking to. Something about his master not even being able to finish the job correctly. That couldn't be right he doesn't have a master.

his musings are cut short when something smacks him in the face. He peers at the offending object and blearily readreads the headline stating "THE BOY-WHO-LIVES RETURNS HOME" when he's jerked into attentiveness by the picture on the front page

It's Harry... His Harry. But that can't be right Harry's only a toddler.. This Harry is way too old. Before he can make out more of the details the paper is suddenly ripped out his grasp.

Nooooo he tries to scream but it comes out more as a whimper.

The guard finds this funny for some reason as he snarls at him "you'll never lay a finger on the boy. You failed, you piece of scum." He then hears a clanging as the unknown guard walks away.

The preceding nights are the worst he remembers as he continuously relives the worst night of his life.

He's sprinting up the steps. Not even processing the blown apart roof. All he sees is the door blasted off its hinges.

He immediately comes across the first body and collapses immediately.

"Nooooo" he able to scream this time. "James what have I done!! It's all my bloody fault".

He's jerked outta his self loathing because he just knows he needs to see the confirmation of his greatest failure.

As he stands up he whispers "we'll see each other soon Prongs. I promise you that."

He doesn't know how much longer it is but he's thankfully pulled from the nightmare of reliving finding James' prone body next to the couch by the rattling of his cell.

He blearily stares up at his cell door when he recognizes Moody and no that's not right nymphy is a little girl. And she'd never look at him with such disgust.

But no it's not Moody or even his little cousin that grabs his attention. It's another newspaper headline but this time it proclaims loudly "HARRY POTTER MEETS FAMED GILDEROY LOCKHART!"

He reaches out as if it's a lifeline. He's older this time but he can tell it's been a year maybe two this time. He whimpers out a soft "I'll find you Harry".

"not on my watch you wont black" Moody sneers.

If he thought his dreams were bad after the previous newspaper he was sadly mistaken. It's as if the dementors could sense the new happiness inside him

He doesn't know how but he's able to drag himself up the stairs.

Another door blasted apart. "oh Lils why didn't you take Harry and flee. It's all my fault."

He collapses the second time that night next to the body of his sister. The person who knows him better than anyone besides James. The one who understands his terrible family only like someone who can because of shared experiences.

He can't even muster a cry of anguish this time as hot tears cascade down his cheeks. He doesn't even immediately feel the frigid cold November night air against his skin.

It's the soft voices this time that wake him from his self hatred. He's not even sure why he asks for the newspaper he sees the man holding. He deludes himself it's for the crossword, like he could possibly solve it in his current state. But it's definitely not for the infinitesimal chance to see his godson on the front page.

He does a quick glance at the front page and sighs in disappointment when he doesn't see Harry. He barely registers the story on the bottom with a picture of smiling happy family before he angrily tosses it into the corner.

Why was he being so stupid to think he would actually see Harry again.

It's hours later or maybe it's days or weeks who knows in this godforsaken place he definitely deserves to be in when he finally gives the photo at the bottom more than a passing glance.

He doesn't know how long he's staring at the photo trying to convince himself of what he's actually seeing.

"there's no way. He was never quicker than me. My curse hit him." But there's no denying that rat sitting on the boys shoulder is THE RAT. the rat that betrayed them all.

He should have known better than to think his nightmares couldn't get worse after seeing his godson for the first time in the previous articles. Since when did things ever work out for him. He's a Black for crying out loud. Nothing but destruction followed his wake. So in a twisted way he knew he deserved the horrors that awaited him that night.

That's when he finally hears it. The whimper that would haunt him forever. The whimper of his godson calling for him "pa'foo!!"

He's on his feet and at the crib and picking Harry up in an instant. Every other thought immediately leaving his mind.

He's so focused on consoling Harry he doesn't even see the blood trickling down his forehead

"ssshhhh Harry. It's ok. I'm here kiddo. Sirius is here buddy." He knows he's lying to the kid but he knows he needs to be strong for him.

He carefully hides his godsons face in his neck as he carefully steps over Lily to take him downstairs and away from the horrors within.

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[quillkiller]

Hi hi hi who do u think rita’s worst enemy is? Like someone she would hate with a passion?

GILDEROY!!!!!!!! GILDEROY!!!!!! he’s her worst enemy and he doesn’t even know it. she hates his guts and fantasises about killing him on a daily basis. in very graphic detail. i even wrote a fic where bella kills him for her<3

the thing is. he’s (from what i understand) from a wealthy family, a fraud, cheating his way to the top. steals other peoples stories and takes the fame and glory. the fame and glory that rita wants more than anything in the world. she thinks he’s pathetic and vile and talks funny and brags and its just soooooo easy for him. he has everyone fooled and she can’t stand it. everything he has should be HERS!!!!!!!!

and the thing is. shes no angel. she’s morally fucked up and cheats her way to the top in her own way. she is NOT above sleeping her way to the top even. like she’ll tell herself that shes doing those things for the readers. they should get to see her work. its just that good. so its not cheating….. but she wont steal. she refuses to steal and she holds onto that as if it’s some moral high ground she can claim. she genuinely believes shes entirely self made / rags to riches / etc. as if it makes her good!!! when she’s so fucked up in so many other ways!!!! my delusional princess with a disorder who refuses to acknowledge that shes gaining clout simply because bella from the house of black starts paying attention to her. she whole heartedly believes she’s self made and different and unique and there will never be anyone like her again. no one as special and interesting and clever as her (she honestly isnt any of these things <3) and if only someone would give her a chance. if only gilderoy didnt exist. if only she wasn’t a woman in a world of gilderoys

and then there IS!!!! the gender aspect of it. like she is a woman in the 70s and she’s not going to get as much attention and she latches onto that as her truth. she would become an active feminist simply for selfish reasons. because she should be famous and she isn’t!!!!!! and GILDEROY IS GETTING FAMOUS!!!!!! AND HE’S A MAN!!!!!!! a useless, boring, ugly, egotistical man!!!!!! and he isn’t a better writer or storyteller than her, but honestly i think they’re both pretty much on the same skill level. but i do believe that if she did fake it like he did she still wouldnt get the attention he gets. because it makes sense, being the 70s and the political climate and whatever. shes a distasteful young woman with a temper and no one likes her. a man can be distasteful with a temper and people will respect him.

so there is a gender aspect to it. which only makes it even more interesting to me. and anyway i didnt mean to make this reply so long agdjdjdjfjf BUT HE IS HER ENEMY AND SHE WANTS HIM DEAD

he doesn’t even really know she exists probably and he doesn’t care one way or the other. its a one sided beef and her meaning of self care if picturing different ways to dismember him <3