#Gift Sanctuary

[destinationtoast]

I celebrated Christmas with my parents, brother, and aunt... and it turns out multiple of us gave each other Ted Lasso, to the point where everyone present ended up with one copy of it. 😹 I was the only one to receive a Roy Kent, though. 🥰

[short666bread]

Their fridge

[dr-futbol-blog]

The Gift, Pt. 1

The penultimate episode of the season The Gift (S01E18) is a Teyla-centric episode, and really sets up her arc for the remainder of the series. The 'gift' is a reference* to her particular brand of 'the shining,' the special connection she has to the wraith on a genetic level. It also allows us to see the expedition one step closer to total annihilation. They are nearing their collective 'dark night of the soul,' hitting rock-bottom, the peak of their desperation.

We start with what appears to be Teyla's dream within a dream. We are shown Atlantis at night as it might be, business as usual. It is unclear whether this is a reflection of how things have been recently in their actual state or whether this is how Teyla has been seeing and/or interpreting things to be. That is, it's not certain whether she is dreaming McKay being in his lab in want of coffee and Sheppard asleep in his bed, or that we are to understand this being the case and her dream involving just the wraith disrupting this normal state of affairs in the city. Both layers of her dream feature Sheppard, the first one sleeping in his bed and the other one having been killed by a wraith, his drained corpse laying in the same bed. Dreams have no meaning, Heightmeyer later tells us.

Both Sheppards of Teyla's dream have the poster of Johnny Cash on the wall of his quarters that Teyla had actually seen in Sheppard's self-constructed reality in Home (S01E08). While he does get one for his room later on, he shouldn't have one at this time, not yet. Sheppard was allowed to bring one personal item with him, and he had chosen a video tape of the Miracle in Miami game from 1984, and he had also brought a copy of War and Peace** (which can also be seen on his bedside table in the dream). Sheppard does not yet seem to have the poster in his room in Atlantis during Home (which this episode seems to intentionally call-back to). So, this is an odd detail.

All of this--the poster on the wall where it shouldn't be, the wrong angle from which Sheppard's room is shot (usually, his room is seen from the right side of the bed), the door to his quarters being on the wrong side of the room, and McKay being out of coffee (they should have been out of coffee ever since Chaya drank the last of it during Sanctuary, S01E14)--suggests that what we are seeing does not correspond with actual reality but is symbolic, is all fabrication of her subconscious mind.

And since we are introduced to the expedition psychologist Kate Heightmeyer in this episode, even though she tells her that dreams are basically meaningless, having dream symbolism in the episode would make sense. Sheppard does eventually get the poster for his room but not until they have re-established contact with Earth. Her seeing it in his room before it happens may even be foreboding, some form of augury on her part. But the fact that we were previously introduced both to the poster and to his copy of War and Peace in the same episode is not meaningless.

Teyla is startled awake from her first-order dream and, still asleep, she seeks out Sheppard in his quarters. When Sheppard does not answer her call, she opens his door with a hand-wave and walks in (and it's never made entirely clear how locking the doors of private quarters works on Atlantis; whether the doors are programmable, whether anyone can just walk into anyone's quarters like Weir walked into Sheppard's room after knocking in Home, if Sheppard has made sure that she is able to access his room in an emergency as member of his team, or whether Teyla just dreams that she is able to walk into his room at will).

This is Teyla's dream, so we don't actually even know whether Sheppard had been sleeping in his own quarters, and if he has, the reason could simply be because McKay has still been pulling those all-nighters at his lab as is textualized in a later scene. The dead Sheppard in Sheppard's bed may even be symbolic of the fact that in her subconscious, she knows that her leader does not sleep there. With that being said, it is suspicious that they show everyone else's quarters but McKay's. They hold off showing his quarters for a long time and even then we only get a quick peek.

It is of course possible that Sheppard had been sleeping in his own bed. This may well be the case. But the following morning when we find Sheppard and Teyla training in the same Athosian martial art we saw them practicing in Hot Zone (S01E13), they have a conversation that once more calls into question whether he does, in fact, sleep alone:

Sheppard: You OK? Teyla: Yes. Sheppard: Are you sure? Cos it's usually me picking my butt up off the mat. Teyla: Truthfully, I have not been sleeping much. And when I do, I have been having nightmares about the Wraith. Sheppard: Well, you're not the only one.

They could definitely use some quality bonding time together following the events of the previous episode.

First thing to note is that Sheppard has no problem kicking her ass if she's going to let him because he sees her as a warrior first and woman somewhere way down the line. It is uncharacteristic of her to be losing this badly, though, so he is starting to get worried about her. But more importantly, Sheppard doesn't actually say that he has been the one having nightmares about the wraith, or that he has been the one not sleeping much lately. It is a natural assumption to make and one that Teyla probably makes, as well. Only, it would be very unlike Sheppard for him to make himself vulnerable like that, to confess that he has a weakness.

Yes, they are friends, they are close, he does at least sometimes try to share personal things with her, to connect with her. But clearly there is nothing wrong with Sheppard's physical prowess, here, compared to hers. He even admits it himself that usually Teyla is beating him with little effort. So it follows that he is not the one who has been sleeping poorly, and as he has not been sleeping poorly, he also has not been the one having nightmares about the wraith. We also learn a few episodes hence that his nightmares are about what he had to do to Col. Sumner, not about the wraith as such. Also, he makes the comment much too casually (ie., the casualness is feigned) for him not to be genuinely concerned about who ever he is talking about.

So. There is someone else that has not been sleeping much (and this much even Teyla knew in her dream, McKay is becoming seriously sleep-deprived) working around the clock. And even when he does sleep, he has nightmares about the wraith. McKay, who has personally been to several hives, has seen the wraith up close and personal, has watched a wraith almost kill Sheppard without being able to stop it. Yeah, whether or not Sheppard is talking about him, McKay has definitely been having nightmares about them. Sheppard further has a strange reaction to Teyla mentioning his father being taken, here ("It has not been so bad since my father was taken"). Yes, Sheppard has issues with his family and we have just recently been reminded of this. But his father is still alive. McKay's parents, we already know, are both dead. Teyla and McKay may be paralleled in this, as well.

It follows that Sheppard is likely not talking about himself when he makes the comment that Teyla is not the only one that has been having nightmares about the wraith, he's not going to leave an opening like that for anyone at this time, is not even able to expose himself like that, to make himself vulnerable like that, to anyone but McKay. So he has to be talking about someone else. And if he has personally been sleeping poorly, it's because he has had to sleep in his too-small bed alone where McKay has had no time for sleeping whatsoever. But compared to everyone else, it seems like Sheppard has been the one getting sleep.

This is all but confirmed as they return to this very topic in the following scene in the meeting room where a large contingent of the expedition have gathered, among them both scientists and military personnel. The meeting is already underway as we join them:

Weir: I want options. McKay: You mean, besides crying ourselves to sleep? Well, not me! I haven't slept in days. Weir: And what do you have to show for your sleepless nights, Rodney?

The lady doth protest too much. He frigging volunteers this information completely unprompted. He admits it himself that he has been sleeping poorly if at all recently. He is the only other person besides Teyla that we know for a fact has not been sleeping lately. That tracks with what Sheppard was saying to Teyla. But he also says crying ourselves to sleep. Ourselves. Ourselves.

Also, while he does not look at Sheppard, he does gravitate toward him as he says this. He turns his head and says the first part to Sheppard and then turns to Zelenka with his explanation as though Zelenka--his closest lab collaborator--is the one who most needs to be convinced that McKay hasn't been sleeping for days. If anyone should know whether he has been sleeping or not, surely it should be Zelenka. Now, I'm not suggesting that McKay and Sheppard have actually been bawling their eyes out ugly-crying together every night because a) Sheppard has been trying real hard not to feel anything at all and b) they're both grown-ass men. But this is highly likely to be an example of parapraxis, of unwittingly speaking out thoughts that one tries to put outside of consciousness. At the very least the show has gone out of its way to make us think about their sleeping arrangements over several episodes.

Over the seasons we learn that Sheppard and McKay know so much both random shit and extremely private information about each other that it would not be out of the question for the two of them having spent these, what they believe of be their final days (and nights) not only together but alive at all, sharing things about one another in the small hours (whether in the bed that they most definitely share together at this time, or in "the game" room, if you prefer). And some of those things probably at least make you want to cry, knowing the kind of crap the two of them have been through in their respective lives that we have been hinted at. So, yeah. While what McKay says might not be literally true and he's certainly not admitting to it even if it was, the thought did not come out of nowhere. Also, when we find him exiting the office of Heightmeyer later, McKay does seem to be wiping his eye so it is entirely possible there has been some weeping in his recent past.

The scene in the meeting room has some interesting cuts again. We are not shown Sheppard and McKay in the same frame at all but they are not standing as far apart as they first seem. Only Teyla is between them, and they (and Zelenka) are all leaning against the tables to allow the people standing behind them a better view. There are, once more, marines standing guard at the meeting showing us the precautions Sheppard has been taking (and the fact that he has done this may have spared them a lot of trouble down the line as, unbeknownst to them, there is a wraith loose in the city at this time).

And once more, we don't see the beginning of the meeting, we don't see people coming into the room and settling to their places. When the meeting is already underway, everyone's attention is on Weir. Weir tells them that she would like everyone to focus on what they do best so it's fascinating that in this meeting, McKay is being somewhat combative and Sheppard is being conciliatory, again telling us which one of them has not been sleeping.

Now, what McKay and Zelenka are doing in the meeting can only be described as bickering:

McKay: Well, since we've got here, we've uncovered a number of defensive weapons systems beyond the shield. Wh-- Zelenka: We think our best option is the control chair. McKay: I was gonna say that. Zelenka: Yes, but you were taking too long as usual. McKay: Yes, but the point is, this may not be our best chance. Zelenka: Name a better one. Weir: Gentlemen!

First of all, Zelenka says that McKay usually takes too long which is something that Sheppard might heartily agree with. See discussion on Sheppard having helped speed McKay up and McKay having helped slow Sheppard down in connection with The Brotherhood (S01E17). Sheppard, of course, has suffered from this affliction of his more than most but Zelenka is also clearly running out of patience with hm.

The fact that McKay would ordinarily be doing this kind of back-and-forth in a meeting with Sheppard is only emphasized by Weir's "Gentlemen!" which she has had to say to the two of them several times previously. With regards to bickering, I have referred before to the scene in First Strike (S03E20) where Sheppard finds the two of them all bickered out, which actually makes him worried because he's so used to them working together that way. When they do start bickering again, Sheppard flippantly suggests that they should just make out to get it over with but he had been genuinely concerned to find them not bickering. Listening to this exchange must be comforting to Sheppard because, for one, he likes listening to McKay and second, Zelenka actually forces him to walk other people through his thinking and somewhat translates him to a lay audience.

So, in the previous scene we saw Sheppard with his best buddy doing physical exercise and here we see McKay with his best buddy doing some mental sparring (I mean, Beckett does theoretically hold the title of his best friend but in this episode, Sheppard-Teyla and McKay-Zelenka are clearly paralleled; it is meant to highlight to us the difference between friendship and something that is more than that). It's very poetic. But when we compare the way McKay bickers with Zelenka and the way he usually banters with Sheppard (which also happens toward the end of this scene), there is a difference. Often, McKay and Sheppard are going back-and-forth because they enjoy it, they want to get a reaction out of the other, it's teasing but good-natured, they are doing it to get closer to the other person. With Zelenka, they are actually in contest, trying to one-up each other. They are actually sick of having spent so much time in each other's presence recently and are airing the frustration born out of this. It is very differently motivated. For Sheppard and McKay it builds tension, for McKay and Zelenka it diffuses it.

Weir doesn't seem to have patience for the McKay and Zelenka show any more than she has for the McKay and Sheppard show, so she changes the topic. They have established an Alpha Site on another world:

Weir: Sergeant Bates: where are we with our Alpha site? Bates: We've completed the ground and aerial security sweep and are ready to begin establishing base camp. We're just awaiting final inspection by Major Sheppard. Sheppard: Right after lunch.

So, apparently Sheppard has lunch plans and can't go before. Which is real fucking interesting considering that in that the next scene, we find Teyla eating alone and being joined by Heightmeyer. The fact that Sheppard makes explicit reference to lunch and then we don't see him having lunch with his best work-out buddy and team member with whom he should be going to the Alpha Site right after lunch is something. That is a damn lampshade.

And like McKay turned his head toward Sheppard when he mentioned the crying ourselves to sleep thing, Sheppard here nods to McKay's direction as he mentions lunch, glancing at him from behind Teyla's head. It's not that he's meaning to signal to everyone what (or who) he will be doing for lunch, it's a subconscious gesture. It's his body-language revealing things that he has no conscious desire to disclose to anyone.

Weir and Teyla have a discussion about what the Athosians intend to do during this time that turns somewhat philosophical. Note that Weir and Teyla are mirroring each other, Teyla is tilting her head to the same direction as Weir whereas Sheppard... isn't (in fact, his head was tilted the exact opposite way; his face turned to McKay while keeping his eyes looking forward).

Note also the fact that here Teyla emphasizes the word "ourselves," indicating that she means herself and Sheppard, which just makes McKay's "ourselves" earlier so much more likely to also contain Sheppard. And Sheppard also reacts to this "ourselves" in particular; they probably briefly share in the memory of what they saw on the planet. We did not get to see how if at all he reacted to what McKay said earlier about the crying ourselves to sleep.

Weir then mentions McKay by name, prompting him to do a little wave to acknowledge what she was saying, accompanied with a raising of his brow. He also looks at Sheppard because obviously his reaction is what he most cares about. And where Zelenka seems to be so very done with McKay at present, Sheppard on the other hand, is all about him. His entire world is oriented to McKay.

Sheppard almost smiles at McKay, catches himself before he does. They cannot be seen mooning at each other during a meeting especially when there are goddamn marines standing just behind Weir looking right at them. This is a subtle exchange between the two but in that context, really rather bold.

I will also remind you of the fact that when McKay was removing the control crystal in Home (the episode is again calling back to it), kneeling underneath the table with Sheppard seated next to him completely zoning out, Sheppard was so damned turned on. This was when they were still just flirting. When nothing had happened. When Sheppard had only his imagination, and a cold shower waiting for him. Now, I can't tell you for sure that this memory is where Sheppard's mind went here but it certainly is the first thing it reminded me of. Especially given that McKay's flirtatious little wave here matches with his flirty tone back then.

Weir and Teyla go on for quite a while and are only interrupted by Kavanaugh who, as an honest coward, has no desire to die. The thing is, Sheppard doesn't really know what happened between Weir and Kavanaugh during 38 Minutes (S01E04) beyond possibly reading the mission report. We know that later on he really hates the man which, to be fair, seems to be a common experience for pretty much anyone that runs into him including actual aliens. But here, Sheppard doesn't really have any reason to dislike him. And you can see that while he very much disagrees with what Kavanaugh says and even makes light of it (he is playing with words and Kavanaugh either fails to notice or just ignores him; Sheppard is saying that considering is within the realm of possibility, not the actual doing), he is trying really hard to be respectful toward him. Sheppard's disagreement is meant to make the others believe in themselves, to keep hope alive:

Kavanaugh: We can't possibly consider staying and fighting. Sheppard: I disagree. I think it's entirely within the realm of possibility. Kavanaugh: There are tens of thousands of life-sucking aliens in highly advanced spaceships on their way here to destroy us, and we have, what, two hundred people, most of whom are scientists who've never even fired a gun before? McKay: Shockingly, first time ever I've found myself having to agree with Kavanaugh. Sheppard: All I'm saying is, let's not give up--just yet.

Sheppard looks at Kavanaugh to whom he is responding, he looks at Weir who is holding the floor, and finally he looks at McKay to see what he thinks about what he was just saying. Because that's what he cares about the most.

Yes, Sheppard is probably hoping that McKay will come up with something, some Hail Mary pass, that might save them even though he knows not to pile any more pressure on him at this moment since the man seems to be crushing under it as it is (and having nightmares and sleepless nights about it). He is trying really hard to keep an upbeat can-do attitude, and to express his faith in the scientists. What he's saying here is very similar to what the said at the beginning of the previous episode ("It means there's still time, Rodney. There's no reason to panic--yet"). And here, too, it is McKay's pessimism that makes him attempt to comfort him and him specifically. He may not be feeling any hope himself but he is damned if he's going to let his own feelings of impending doom and certain death get in the way of trying to make the person he cares about feel better about it all. This is him taking care of McKay emotionally, and in a very public setting, at that.

And since he's doing that, McKay apparently immediately transitions to having a private conversation with him that has very little to do with their current meeting, a general debate over the merits of the military and scientists with McKay arguing that warriors like Sheppard are much more courageous, gallant, and disciplined than scientists like him (although unlike Kavanaugh, McKay would not be afraid to go to the front line if it was needed), and Sheppard cheer-leading for scientists like McKay (who he knows can build an A-bomb and which, frankly, turns him on)*** that are able to do so much more than to just take a stand and lay down their lives for the greater good.

It's very sweet how they are each arguing for the other person with such conviction but their exchange clearly has the potential of turning into a more heated debate if it's allowed to go on for much longer. It does not seem like the first time they are having a discussion on this topic, either:

McKay: Now what was that we were supposed to all remember? It was something important. Oh yes, that's right--the Alamo! Sheppard: Granted you guys are scientists. No one's considering putting you guys on the front line, but science can turn the tide of war. Look at the... A-bomb. Zelenka: Not exactly our proudest moment.

McKay is clearly more testy than he usually is in meetings with Sheppard, his exhaustion showing in his need to argue for the sake or arguing even when he doesn't really disagree with Sheppard (and more shocking than his siding with Kavanaugh is that he takes, possibly for the first time, a public stance against Sheppard here; not because he doesn't think that they should fight back but believing that most of his science team will be unable). We see an even better example of McKay's exhaustion driven testiness with Weir later which Sheppard diffuses, confirming the fact that Sheppard and McKay have had a discussion about his lack of sleep not shown on screen.

It's good of Zelenka to interrupt them for the sake of everyone and for Weir to call the meeting to an end (once more telling the two of them to focus) so that they can continue this discussion over lunch. Or what ever else Sheppard had in mind to do during lunch when he definitely isn't eating in the cafeteria. While they're not exactly jumping for joy the situation being what it is, there's a clear to-be-continued here for the both of them. And as Sheppard gets up to leave, he turns to McKay.

You can see by his body language that this man is walking out of that room following McKay (just as we later see him more explicitly walk out of a meeting following McKay). That man is his Alamo.

Continued in Pt. 2

-* Since we see the poster of Johnny Cash in Teyla's dream, there may be a reference to one of his songs hiding in somewhere. See for example the lyrics to The Loving Gift (a duet with his wife June Carter):

You gave me a blanket to keep me from the cold of Siberia/Antarctic You gave me a song I learned to sing You showed me some beauty through the windows of your puddle jumper soul And you showed me a galaxy world I've never seen

Each giving to the other love and giving it away We spent the precious time we knew was borrowed 'Cause you gave me the courage to live with yesterday And you gave me tomorrow

You brought me a candle to light my way to bed You erased those shadows I'd been seeing You brought me a pillow to rest my weary head You taught me a gentle way of dreaming

Not only have we been made to think about their sleeping arrangements a lot over the past several episodes, even in this very episode we not only see Sheppard asleep in a bed, we are hinted that McKay has been having nightmares and that Sheppard is the one that pushes him to see Heightmeyer about them (see next entry), teaching him a gentle way of dreaming, as it were. For what possible reason do we need to know this much about how they spend their nights, hm?

-** So, we are told that "there are no hidden meanings" in dreams but there is certainly symbolism in scenes that pertain to dreams. There seemed to be a reference to War and Peace the last time we saw the book in Home so it follows that there's probably a reason to show us the book again in this episode. There is an interesting scene in the novel (Epilogue 1, Chapter 16--which suggests that Sheppard is almost done reading the book by this time), where a third character is startled awake from a nightmare pertaining to war (Teyla), in which Pierre (McKay) and Natasha (Sheppard) "began to talk as only a husband and wife can talk":

As soon as Natasha and Pierre were alone they too began to talk as only a husband and wife can talk, that is, apprehending one another's thoughts and exchanging ideas with extraordinary swiftness and perspicuity, contrary to all the rules of logic, without the aid of premises, deductions, or conclusions, and in a quite singular way. Natasha was so used to this kind of talk with her husband that for her it was a sure sign of something wrong between them if Pierre followed a logical train of thought. When he began proving something, coolly reasoning, and she, led on by his example, began to do the same, she knew they were on the verge of a quarrel. [Cf. the beginning of both this episode and the previous episode] From the moment they were alone together and Natasha, wide-eyed with happiness, stole up to him, suddenly seizing his head and pressing it to her breast and saying: "Now you are mine, all mine! You shan't escape!" — from that moment there sprang up a conversation that was contrary to all the laws of logic, contrary because entirely different subjects were talked of at the same time. This simultaneous discussion of many topics, far from hindering a clear understanding, was the surest indication that they fully understood each other. Just as in a dream when everything is unreal, meaningless, and contradictory except the feeling that governs the dream, so in this communion of thoughts, contrary to all laws of reason, the words themselves were not clear and consecutive, but only the feeling that prompted them. ...

"There now—you talk of my absence, but you wouldn’t believe what a special feeling I have for you after a separation....” “Yes, I should think...” Natasha began. “No, it’s not that. I never leave off loving you. And one couldn’t love more, but this is something special.... Yes, of course—” he did not finish because their eyes meeting said the rest.

The scene also features them sharing things about their pasts, their insecurities, the kinds of private thoughts couples share. This is the only time dreaming is mentioned in the entire book so if the episode is meaning to reference to the book, this chapter would be it. I don't know about you, but for me this chapter explains a lot of what happens in this episode.

-*** Here, McKay smiles bitterly as Zelenka reminds them of the role scientists had in the creation of the A bomb but in Underground (S01E07) McKay and Sheppard were having a very different discussion over the topic:

Cowen: The secrecy of who and what we are is the only defense we have against the Wraith. One day, all that will change. McKay: And you think you can do that with an atomic bomb? Cowen: Now it's you who surprise me. McKay: Well, radioactive readings; your fascination with our C4... Sheppard: You're just mentioning this now? McKay: It just came to me when he said one day all that would change. I assume you're hoping our C4 will solve your super-criticality problem. Cowen: Will it? McKay: It might. Depends on your designs. There's a host of other considerations. Sheppard: You know how to make an A bomb? McKay: Major, most of my high school chess team could design an A bomb. The actual hard part is having sufficient fissional materials of an appropriate grade.

I will also remind you of the fact that listening to Mckay talking about the A bomb on the Genii home world is when Sheppard realized that he feels something more than mere physical attraction toward this man.

[chayscribbles]

have i mentioned i'm making Dyonas Palace in the sims like i did w the spaceship. it's way too elaborate. there's an underground swimming pool

[smerchingaround]

I have a toy bat that hangs from my living room ceiling btw. If you even care

[fingertipsmp3]

Unfortunately I absolutely fucked up one of my nails today but also I made my grandma a tote bag for her birthday so I think overall it’s going well

[atombonniebaby]

Sanctuary Hills Build 1/2 - Player Home (Part 2 will be the rest of Sanctuary!)

The mod list is included below! :D

Exterior

Living/Dining

Hallway, Bathroom and Upstairs Landing

Downstairs Bedrooms

MacCready and Duncan's Space

So, this is about 95% complete...

Just some structural things to tie up and a few extra decorations (clearly, most of my love has gone into the living/dining and the MacCready boys!)

There is nothing left of the original house. I downloaded a mod that allows you to scrap the houses (with rebuilt precombines and SS2 compatibility!)

My theme was 'Homely Scraver' I tried to add elements of the original home and kept the lower level dimensions (I only scrapped the house after I had everything in place!)

Mod List and Tips!

If you want to download the mods I used, I've linked them all below!

I've also added in keyboard shortcuts I had no idea existed that skyrocketed my attention to detail (and considerably extended how long this took! haha!)

Mods I Used

Base Mods

Settlement Menu Manager (Needed for some of the packs to show up in the workshop menu) - https://www.nexusmods.com/fallout4/mods/24204?tab=files

Place Everywhere (Essential for overlapping walls, dense clutter, etc) https://www.nexusmods.com/fallout4/mods/9424

Sanctuary Deep Clen and Remodel (Needed to scrap Sanctuary player home! Also adds 2 new bridges, pre-war, and a scrappy repair!) https://www.nexusmods.com/fallout4/mods/65561

Sim Settlements 2

Note: Probably not required. The base game build items and the other clutter mods would work, but SS2 is worth it! I did use the SS2 kit below for quite a few items, like the colored wood walls and such, plus decor.

Workshop Framework (Great mod, required for SS2, but also allows for exporting/importing Settelment layouts!)- https://www.nexusmods.com/fallout4/mods/35004

Sim Settlements 2 - https://www.nexusmods.com/fallout4/mods/47976

Sim Settlements 2 Wasteland Reconstruction Kit - https://www.nexusmods.com/fallout4/mods/48960

Bethesda.net (Honestly, some of the best workshop packs! Just save to your library for easy access)

Creative Clutter (Hands down can't live without this mod!) - https://mods.bethesda.net/en/fallout4/mod-detail/3411824 (There's an update ahh!)

V's Community Art (Some really nice art, some from in-game!) - https://mods.bethesda.net/en/fallout4/mod-detail/4335883

V's Scavver Art (I'm in love with this pack!) - https://mods.bethesda.net/en/fallout4/mod-detail/4335878

V's Stylish Decor (This pack is also pretty dang epic!)- https://mods.bethesda.net/en/fallout4/mod-detail/4335873

V's Book Retexture (No more pristine gray books!) - https://mods.bethesda.net/en/fallout4/mod-detail/4335888

Modular Kitchens: Updated (Snappable, clean, and worn variations, plus things to put on and in the fixtures!...like a frying pan with an omelet...immersion!) - https://mods.bethesda.net/en/fallout4/mod-detail/4096569

Do It Yourself: Updated (An easy way to fill up shelves!) - https://mods.bethesda.net/en/fallout4/mod-detail/4129753

Nexus

OCDecorator (Mainly to snag and place Mac's wooden soldier!) - https://www.nexusmods.com/fallout4/mods/4270?tab=files

Capital Wasteland Workshop Pack (pack one and two bring some nostalgia for a certain merc!) - https://www.nexusmods.com/fallout4/mods/43068

Capital Wasteland Workshop Pack II -https://www.nexusmods.com/fallout4/mods/5062

Rebuild - Workshop Standalone (the interior Sanctuary doors, with aged textures) - https://www.nexusmods.com/fallout4/mods/71742

The Cozy Scavver (Curtains. Will also be used for pre-made decor. Has some awesome pre-fabs!)- https://www.nexusmods.com/fallout4/mods/38982

The most immersive Coffee Mod (Coffee machines!)- https://www.nexusmods.com/fallout4/mods/19012

Snappy House Kit (I believe the staircase was the only thing used, but this mod includes repaired versions of Concord-style homes and so much more!) - https://www.nexusmods.com/fallout4/mods/11639

Scavver's Settlement Kit (Most of the wooden floors and walls!)- https://www.nexusmods.com/fallout4/mods/25515

cVc Dead Wasteland (All packs and all dependable! Some great clutter and Pre-fabs! Reorganises other mods to be included in the menus...such as display cases!) - https://www.nexusmods.com/fallout4/mods/43818

Femshepping Minimalist Homewares (Great decor! I love Femshepping's stuff!) - https://www.nexusmods.com/fallout4/mods/16316

CWSS Redux (Working bathroom furniture, with animations! - Also responsible for the "we aim to please, your aim will help" on the bathroom mirror, hah! Pair with advanced needs to add bathing requirements!...and yes, companions/npcs use them!) - https://www.dropbox.com/s/i3qi9s6yex2liyv/CWSS%20Redux%20v4.01.7z?dl=0

Fast Food (Adds a toaster, kettle, teapot, and bucket for fast, well food. Makes toast, and boiled water by simply tapping them!) - https://www.nexusmods.com/fallout4/mods/68467

Old World Plaids (Lots of scrappy overhauls with plaids...Nate is Scottish...this is essential for storytelling, hah!) - https://www.nexusmods.com/fallout4/mods/10769

Voiceapalooza Assortment (Adds cheese to the game, what else can I say?)- https://www.nexusmods.com/fallout4/mods/71486

Keyboard Shortcuts for fine-tuned placements!

Num Pad

8 & 2 = up and down.

4 & 6 = left and right

7 & 8 = move at an anlge

1 & 3 = size down and size up

/ & * = Adjust movement speed

- & + = Adjust Rotation amount

num Lock & then hit 0 = Unlock inaccessible items in build mode. (Good for deleting shrubs or doors that can't be highlighted—be careful. This includes companions! Guess how I know, hah!)

I have also noticed 1 & 7 (If I remember right) turn off physics, so any items you can pick up become static and won't move around!)

Main Keyboard

, & . = Rotation

L-CTRL or R-Alt = Change rotation axis.

I used the placement and rotation axis keys a lot in this build! Mac and Duncan's room has the best examples. I used these shortcuts to make Mac's soldier sit in the little bin on his dresser, place the cushions, etc., on their beds, including hanging Mac's hat on the bedpost!

[ciceroandlucien]

Alesan, the only child in Dawnstar. He's an orphan and a Redguard. One day he is out at night after finishing delivering dinner to the mine and he runs into Babette who is out for a hunt, maybe. He's smitten, but Babette quickly clears that up. But she feels some pity because she loves *her* family, so she invites him to join. He's scared at first, but Nazir shows him the family recipe for his stew so he can impress the miners and Cicero gives him a dagger. The Listener lets Alesan care for Shadowmere when they're not riding her.

[local-lovebug]

Heyo, I'm looking for some active players of the flutter games!

Friend codes are

Butterflies: QPPH (until 13.02.)

Moths: WQ55 (until 12.02.)

If you wanna friend me after this runs out, pm me!

[sezja]

The fucking popped collar on the polo shirt is fucking killing me

[blackroseenchantments]

These vegan bracelets include donations to animal sanctuaries of your choice! Up in the new shop!

[dr-futbol-blog]

The Brotherhood, Pt. 4

McKay leaves to go to bed and passes the table where Sheppard, Ford and Teyla have been having supper. Sheppard is acting nonchalant like he hadn't just been listening to and watching the whole thing that had happened in his line of sight, behind Ford and Teyla. And as McKay passes behind him, he just has to comment on what he has been observing:

McKay: I'm heading to bed. Sheppard: Which bed might that be? McKay: What?

He sounds hoarse. Not playful or mischievous or someone dicking with a friend but like he actually has to force the words out. He's projecting nonchalance, to be sure, even going so far as to pretend to be reading a parchment like it's a magazine or something (second time in this very episode we see him pretending to be reading) but it is entirely an act. McKay smiles as he passes Sheppard (not 'is smiling while passing Sheppard'; as in, his smile was a response to Sheppard engaging him), and it takes him a moment to register the question. McKay is honestly confused by it. What even are the options, here?

He actually stops, turns, and then steps forward to check up on Sheppard. Is he okay?

So, let's assume for a moment that they have been fucking. In that context, this question makes sense. It's justified. Gay or not gay, clearly with the whole Chaya situation and this, they need to have a conversation about boundaries and how far they are allowed to push them when something really important, like ZPMs or Ancient weapons, are concerned. Not because of McKay, clearly, but because this is making Sheppard feel some kind of way and he doesn't like it. He's still feeling guilty about what (ever it is that) happened with Chaya (although his mission report suggests that he knows he didn't do it entirely of his own volition), and he's projecting his guilt on McKay. Earlier, he might even have been pushing McKay to pursue this for the common good, and he doesn't like it. He's having to confront some of his own issues, and he doesn't like it. He might be the world's biggest hypocrite having a problem with this, and he doesn't like it. But he can't help himself. Sheppard needs to be the centre of McKay's attention.

McKay is shifting on his feet here, this is clearly making him nervous. Not nervous excited, nervous cautious.

I mean, it could just be that Sheppard is being a dick for the sake of being a dick, in which case he manages to make it awkward when it didn't need to be awkward (and to be fair, he does do that a lot) but, like. If they are just co-workers or even friends, he has no business asking something like that. If they are just co-workers and he's merely a team leader to him, that comment would be wildly out of line. But if they are fucking, it is his business. In Sanctuary (S01E14), Sheppard told McKay that when anything he does becomes his business, he will let him know. And now, Sheppard seems to be making McKay's business his business, so I guess this is the point where Sheppard is letting McKay know that his business also has become McKay's business. Which is fair.

Only, by making this comment out here in public instead of waiting to do it later in private because he just couldn't sit on his unease for a moment longer, he's inviting Teyla and Ford into the conversation. And they're seeing the whole situation in a completely different way:

Ford: I think Allina might have a little crush on you, Doc. McKay: Oh, she does? Teyla: It is very clear to us all. McKay: It is? Sheppard: Well, everyone but you, apparently.

Sheppard acknowledges here that he knows McKay wasn't pursuing anything with her. That wasn't his issue. That's not why he's upset, or salty, or what ever you interpret this as. McKay is clueless and, as far as he knows, not interested in women in general or this woman in particular. He realizes now that he's made this into a whole thing when it didn't need to be a thing. Because Ford, especially, cannot know about them and he now seems tickled by the fact that this woman is crushing on poor clueless McKay. Good job, Sheppard.

The thing is, McKay has no idea how to navigate this. He's looking for Sheppard for some guidance on how play this. Not for wanting to hook up with this woman that he has shown zero interest in so far because he just has to have her right here and now when he's actually feeling pretty tired, that's not it at all. He needs Sheppard to give him some sign-posts because how ever they are going to play this out, he's doing it for Sheppard. Anything he's doing here is going to be for two reasons and two reasons only: to get them the ZPM and to maintain Sheppard's cover of plausible deniability. So he comes right out and asks him what to do while being careful about how he's putting his words:

McKay: Should I have, um… Are you sure about this? Sheppard: Yeah, I'm very sure. McKay: What should I do?

McKay wants him to tell him what to do because he does not know what to do. Not because he doesn't know how to flirt or to seduce a woman or to have sex with one (and if he doesn't, it's purely because he has never wanted to and it never interested him) but it's not like he's a virgin. Notice how serious he suddenly is about this. He's not sleepy, he's fully focused and brimming with his usual nervous energy. And it's not because he's suddenly revved up about the possibility that a woman might find him interesting (which is where they are leading the mainstream audience) because he had no interest in her when she was coming on to him. He does not look excited. He looks cautious. His focus is entirely on Sheppard. He doesn't even goddamn glance at her more than to make sure they aren't being overheard which is what someone would do if they were interested and were told that they might actually like you back.

But, like. Let's also assume for a moment (because we actually are hinted later that this has, in fact, been the case; see next entry) that they have both had the other's private parts inside the other's talking parts very recently. And in this context, Sheppard asks:

Sheppard: You don't know what to do?

He's not asking McKay if he doesn't know about the birds and the bees, here. He's not implying he thinks the man doesn't know how sex works because he's such a virgin. He's not calling him a virgin who can't drive to poke fun at him. He doesn't look like he's making fun of him at all, he looks almost hurt.** He's a little offended because while they probably haven't had the "What are we?" discussion, being in a same sex relationship and having someone of the opposite sex flirt with your partner right in front of you without being free or able to do anything about it is a particular kind of hell, especially if your partner doesn't know how to deal with it quickly, tactfully and decisively. it should be obvious what McKay needs to do. It's also entirely possible that they have actually had a discussion on what to do in this kind of scenario previously, as we learn later in the episode that by this time they have shared so much personal information with each other that McKay is actually surprised there is something Sheppard had not yet told him. If what ever you are doing could end someone's career in an instant, there are things that you need to talk out.

If they have been intimate, Sheppard is telling McKay that he needs to set up a goddamn boundary before he finds himself in a situation neither of them wants him to be in. He needs to let this woman down easy but in a way that won't destroy their chances of getting the ZPM (and this is precisely what we find him doing on the following day). It's all so obvious to Sheppard but, then, McKay isn't the most socially aware person. But at the very least McKay knows what they're talking about, unlike Ford and Teyla.

McKay: I know what to do, eventually. I mean, what should I do now? Should I say something, something tonight? Sheppard: Tell you what, Valentino—wait till tomorrow. You'll be more on your game after you get some rest. McKay: Oh. Right. Right. Good answer.

Similarly, McKay isn't telling Sheppard that he knows how sex works, here. For one, he knows Sheppard knows he knows how sex works. Sheppard isn't zoning out in meetings watching him because he's thinking about flight schematics. And he was never intending to have sex with this woman who, once more, he has shown zero interest in. Who is too primitive for him to even see as a person, let alone a potential sex partner. He's asking Sheppard whether he needs to take care of this thing right away, nip it in the bud. Talk it out right now, tonight. Is this something he has to deal with immediately and if so, what is he supposed to do?

He's not looking at Sheppard for answers because he doesn't know how women work (I mean, he doesn't but he's also not interested in knowing, so that's not the reason), he's looking for Sheppard to tell him what to do because Sheppard the one who has the most to lose here, and hence, he gets to call the shots. He gets to put up the sign-posts. He gets to decide how they play this out. It's Sheppard's military record that is at stake, here.

And Sheppard decides to let him off the hook. He finds the answer that both gets McKay out of this situation he put them in because of his own issues and leaves Ford and Teyla with the impression that there was potential interest there, that this poor woman ever had a chance. And it's also rather sweet how McKay getting rest is an actual concern for Sheppard. McKay is relieved, and you can again tell that the whole thing is a performance to him in how he, now, talks louder to bid her good night, which is not something that even occurred to him to say left to his own devices. He did not care about her or the quality of her night prior to this moment. He's doing this for Sheppard.

Notice that McKay says "Good answer." He doesn't say "That's good advice, thanks" or "You're right, I'll do that" or any variation thereof. He's congratulating Sheppard on coming up with an answer that allows him to walk away. He's relieved as hell that he is able to walk away from this situation without messing anything up for anyone.

Sheppard does not turn to watch him leave like he usually does but instead fixes his eyes on her like he's using this gesture to nail himself to his seat so as not to go after him right away. But he has to occupy his mouth with something all the same. Leaving together in the evening and arriving together in the morning is something they can never be seen doing. I don't know how even a casual viewer could interpret this as Sheppard showing interest in this woman himself. He is so hopelessly, helplessly in love with that man that I don't know what to tell you.

It's real interesting that they chose to use the name of Valentino, here. Valentino is supposed to be a reference to the "Latin Lover," his name synonymous with the consummate seducer of women. The thing is, they could have used the names of much better known seducers of women, like Don Juan, Casanova, or Lothario (Casanova has the exact same number of syllables, too). Out of these, Valentino is going to be the least familiar to the audience, being an actor from the silent film era. Maybe Sheppard is just into silent films, who knows. But as a reference? They chose the one great seducer who was pretty heavily implied of having been gay.

Rudoplh Valentino actually embodied the concept of the "lavender marriage",* he had an actual marriage annulled for never having consummated it, and he starred in a film called The Married Virgin in which the character's inability to consummate a marriage was a damn plot point. They chose Valentino. They didn't choose any of the famous womanizers of history that were actual heterosexual seducers of women, they chose the closeted gay man who had a reputation of romancing women on screen. Also, just to put it out there--if you fuck men and know who Valentino was, you also know that Valentino fucked men. This reference is a tacit acknowledgement of Sheppard's queerness. This is an example of the use of coded language both in universe and toward the audience. Gay people are going to catch the reference whereas straight people are not going to pay it much attention.

So anyway. Sheppard just called McKay a gay man who acts like he is interested in women. After expressing interest in whose bed he was going to sleep tonight.

God damn, show.

Sheppard asked McKay whose bed he was going to like he had options where the natural assumption would have been that he was obviously going to his own bed. The implied options in this scenario are "yours, hers, or mine". And they return to the topic at the end of the episode where Sheppard tells McKay that he's going to be sleeping soundly tonight, and McKay lets him know that he's going to be working instead of sleeping that night. Because, you know. We really need to know about their sleeping arrangements, and clearly it's something about which they like to keep the other person informed, too. We're expressly told that they won't be sleeping together... on this particular night. But this also means that Sheppard did not sleep soundly on the night they're discussing in this scene.

And the reason for this is discussed in the next entry.

Continued in Pt. 5

-* Lavender marriages were practiced especially in the Hollywood of 1920s, when Rudolph Valentino was at the height of his career, because the morality clauses in the contracts of actors forced them to put on displays of heterosexuality for the public and these marriages were just for show. The men would sometimes marry lesbians or other women who knew what was what and may have some other motivations for marrying gay men, or sometimes the women didn't know what they were getting into and these marriages of convenience were just never consummated, hence e.g., Valentino's trial.

It is this use of coded language that really sells it to me that the subtextual narrative was inserted on purpose, that there were several different people making it happen on the show. Straight people are going to hear the line as saying "Tell you what, lover boy" whereas non-straight people will hear it as "Tell you what, closet queen"; the same line has different meaning depending on the context it's inserted into.

-** In two episodes hence, in The Gift (S01E17) Ford makes a disparaging comment about McKay's sexual prowess (the size of his Johnson, as it were) and Sheppard gives him this look of "Grow up" to which he indignantly responds that why is it okay for them to do it and not him. Only, that's not what Sheppard was doing here. It's how Ford interprets it but it is not how Sheppard intended it.

[bluesunsdusk]

Thread By Thread

An omium lay desolate and isolated, sectioned off by security detail. Helix Security had mad a lot of effort to make sure no one could enter any of the still-standing omniums after the incident that destroyed a portion of the Australian outback. Most people never entered the complex, leaving it susceptible to damage from neglect and pests. Some omniums that had managed to evade detection before the end of the crisis became dusty and overgrown, causing a hazard for the fusion cores a few still had. So, perhaps, this fate where it was guarded was preferable. They always made sure at least the core was stable. They had learned their lesson, after all. They knew it wasn't something to be messed with.

A skittering sound bounced from the walls and through the sharp geometric architecture deep within the omnium, past swathes of security personnel. It stopped and was followed by a series of high-pitched clicks. Another set of clicks and mechanical squeaks came from a small distance away of it. As if in response, a lower series of clicks and thrumming echoed after it. It was soft, like a whisper, compared to the others. As soon as it was done, the other also weakened their tones.

Two small slicers vacated the room with a few quadrupedal units with a single arm attachment in tow.

It went quiet again, only for the silence to be cut through with a buzzing. Light flickered from the entrance. It continued, sometimes interrupted, sometimes accompanied by small clicks or creaks.

Eventually, the tapping of metal on metal announced the return on the small omnic units. Their pitter-patter triggered a brief pause in activity within the room. After a small low machine hum, it continued. The quadrupeds carried thick metal cords and tubes in their clamps. A segmented metal tendril reached out to the units and rapped into the loop of cord one of them held. It let go and allowed the tendril to carry the bundle away.

The tendril traveled all the way to the other end of the room, where Setesh lay half on their back. Their long neck twisted and they poked their head out from under a set of metal tubes, large optics scanning over the wires, examining them. Setesh looked to the small unit that brought it in and spoke to it in the low clicks that went through the halls previously. "Good," they had said, in their own strange machine language. The quadrupedal unit wiggled briefly from side-to-side as a mimicry of an excited pup once addressed.

Setesh returned to their work, moving the coil of wires and their head under the large structure they were working on. Several wires hung over their face, sparking slightly, hanging loosely. Chewed through by rodents, perhaps. Many rat nests had to be eradicated when they arrived, after all. It wasn't like Helix Security cared to look after this marvel of technology. To them, it was merely a machine, a monster, a harbinger of destruction. The omnium had done nothing but protect itself and the omnics were no more than its only form of defense. Human soldiers never bothered to consider why a machine instructed to do something would do anything in its power to continue what it was constructed to do. It was a basic discussion in AI for decades and yet... Now it sat there, dormant, stuck in a virtual environment where it could enact its purpose for quarantine.

Uncoiling the cords, Setesh began to measure how much of these they'd need to replace parts of the thick wires above them. They spoke to a unit again and it trotted off to an end of the room. After some work, the sparks of the wires Set was under ceased. They moved one hand to hold the wires in place and the other to cut it. They took out a section and placed it to the side. Two more arms folded out from the underside of their chest plate. They took a section of the metal cord they'd been brought and held it in the additional hands, allowing them to carefully cut and shape the cord. Strings of superheated hard light flowed out of their palms and moved with the motion of their fingers. It pulled at the metal, bending and twisting it until it was the same length and shape as the piece of wire Setesh had removed.

They took it between their fingers after allowing it to harden and examined it once again before placing it in the space they had made in the wiring. The fingers of one hand folded out and back, making room for the element in their palm to be more visible. They held the wire still and a small buzzing sound came from the bit in their palm as they nearly touched it to the wire and a bright blue light shined from it. They did the same on the other end.

Now it just needed a protective covering...

Setesh glances at the palms of their hands, the hard light generator bits still visible. It shouldn't be too complex of a shape to perform. They looked at the newly placed wire and contemplated for a few moments. Eventually, fine strings of hard light formed from their palms again and they latched the ends of each on what still remained of the original wire covering. One-ove-another, they wove the threads together, in a lattice structure until tightened together like a reinforced sheet of fabric with a transparent blue sheen.

Staring at the results, Setesh couldn't help but be somehow surprised. They had heard of the exploits of the Vishkar's hard light technology, Maximilien had done a wonderful job of selling it to them when he attempted to convince them to join him, but they hadn't yet taken quite this approach to it. This tool was meant for construction and yet they had adapted it to destroy. They only used it in construction for minor matters or temporary repairs. This was more permanent, slightly more grand in scale, more complex. And yet, it was extremely familiar.

It was quick. It was...easy.

It was almost like that which they had already been made to do.

They looked at their hands again. One of the slicers squeezed its way next to Setesh's head and gently poked their plates. It shuffled back out and waited for Setesh to follow. The slid back and sat up, looking down at the little mechanical creature.

It emitted a croak in a rough and unwelcoming tone and hopped, spinning into another direction and walking off.

"Ah...."

Damage detected. What more did this omnium need fixed? Maybe, their creator would appreciate more than mere repairs. Perhaps, it could use a little upgrade. It won't be the shimmering jewel of Oasis, but it would be an improvement, it could be a step towards it.

[im-not-buying-it-ether]

1. I love this 2.

Ra’s seeking out the rumored Champion of the old wizard Shazam, a powerful titan of magic who safe guards Eternity, someone who would understand his vision for the world and has the power in excess to achieve it. Nigh immortal with their blessings without need for a Lazarus Pit like him, certainly the returning Champion would see his perspective as a fellow old soul whose witnessed this worlds sorrid history.

Only for the Champion he finds to be 10, as freshly chosen for the role as the rumors surrounding him. Which… is unexpected, but he can work with this.

His grandson is soon going to be ten as well, there are few children in the League and perhaps the Champion of Magic himself would do as a good tutor to be at his side (since Dami has been taught magic, no joke) He can hold onto and assimilate the boy into his plans through his grandson, even better when Damian could have a greatly powerful confidant.

Thus starts Billys “Kidnaped into tutoring/befriending an assassin prince” arc of hanging out with a pre-Batman Damian bc “Holy heck there’s a kid here, no way is he leaving rn” and also Talia and Ra’s treat him super well and also there’s a lot of tigers and he really loves tigers.

Cue Damian’s tenth birthday some time later and he arrives with an insult to Bruce’s height, a sword, and his emotional support best friend/tutor in tow. Bruce is confused, Billy is just happy to still be hanging out with his friend, and Damian is wanting to get that Rabin mantle alongside his father now please.

Bruce adopts Billy that, Clark adopts Billy this

But what about the Al Ghul family adopting (kidnapping) Billy Batson?

BAT-son. Come on! It’s perfect! Talia raises Billy as she did with Damian, stern but loving. Ra’s sees Billy as potential against Batman

Come on fanfic writers

[dwuerch-blog]

The Gift of Rest: A Divine Invitation

I’m exhausted with so much rancor and antagonism in our world. I had to turn the TV off because I couldn’t take one more “He said, she said!” I know exhaustion. I lived in it when my late husband was so very ill. That was 14 years ago. It was divine timing when a dear friend gave us this wall decor’. It was exactly what we needed then, and we need it now — more than ever — a sanctuary — a place…

[terracegallery]

Modern Colorful Cross Art

Beautiful colorful white modern cross with crisp clean lines and flowing brush strokes by artist Sharon Cummings. Perfect for the Christian soul! Great for Christ centered home, church sanctuary and office decor spaces. Christianity furnishings and accents. GET IT HERE!