#Gift Sanctuary

[irregularbillcipher]

i'm so sick of people who use the fact that mabel is very much like bill (yes, true!) and that bill even likes mabel (again, yes, true!) and understands her in some ways (again yes!!! true!!!!!!!!!! what was the bubble but a party that never ends with a host that never dies?) and then twist it to fuel their mabel hate. like for one, every pines family member has some deep commonalities with bill because he's an effective villain and plays off the heroes of the story so well! but ALSO because it completely disregards how their core philosophies about the world and people around them differ and it bums me out

i have said this before, exactly like this, and i will say it again. the main difference between bill and mabel is that bill finds the universe and the people in it constricting and dull and frustrating while mabel sees the beauty in dull people and things and sees them as full of potential. bill sees something boring, he destroys it, mabel sees something boring, she gets out her glitter glue. mabel is so filled to the brim with love and affection for others and such a wild desire to make everyone, including herself, happy at all times, and bill is trying so hard to be happy that he deliberately hurts people, ruins his own life, ruins the lives of everyone around him and then doesn't understand why he's so miserable. like these two are fascinating because they are both remarkably similar and WILDLY different and, most importantly, they are interesting to look at as foils because mabel is a good person

[short666bread]

Their fridge

[dr-futbol-blog]

The Gift, Pt. 1

The penultimate episode of the season The Gift (S01E18) is a Teyla-centric episode, and really sets up her arc for the remainder of the series. The 'gift' is a reference* to her particular brand of 'the shining,' the special connection she has to the wraith on a genetic level. It also allows us to see the expedition one step closer to total annihilation. They are nearing their collective 'dark night of the soul,' hitting rock-bottom, the peak of their desperation.

We start with what appears to be Teyla's dream within a dream. We are shown Atlantis at night as it might be, business as usual. It is unclear whether this is a reflection of how things have been recently in their actual state or whether this is how Teyla has been seeing and/or interpreting things to be. That is, it's not certain whether she is dreaming McKay being in his lab in want of coffee and Sheppard asleep in his bed, or that we are to understand this being the case and her dream involving just the wraith disrupting this normal state of affairs in the city. Both layers of her dream feature Sheppard, the first one sleeping in his bed and the other one having been killed by a wraith, his drained corpse laying in the same bed. Dreams have no meaning, Heightmeyer later tells us.

Both Sheppards of Teyla's dream have the poster of Johnny Cash on the wall of his quarters that Teyla had actually seen in Sheppard's self-constructed reality in Home (S01E08). While he does get one for his room later on, he shouldn't have one at this time, not yet. Sheppard was allowed to bring one personal item with him, and he had chosen a video tape of the Miracle in Miami game from 1984, and he had also brought a copy of War and Peace** (which can also be seen on his bedside table in the dream). Sheppard does not yet seem to have the poster in his room in Atlantis during Home (which this episode seems to intentionally call-back to). So, this is an odd detail.

All of this--the poster on the wall where it shouldn't be, the wrong angle from which Sheppard's room is shot (usually, his room is seen from the right side of the bed), the door to his quarters being on the wrong side of the room, and McKay being out of coffee (they should have been out of coffee ever since Chaya drank the last of it during Sanctuary, S01E14)--suggests that what we are seeing does not correspond with actual reality but is symbolic, is all fabrication of her subconscious mind.

And since we are introduced to the expedition psychologist Kate Heightmeyer in this episode, even though she tells her that dreams are basically meaningless, having dream symbolism in the episode would make sense. Sheppard does eventually get the poster for his room but not until they have re-established contact with Earth. Her seeing it in his room before it happens may even be foreboding, some form of augury on her part. But the fact that we were previously introduced both to the poster and to his copy of War and Peace in the same episode is not meaningless.

Teyla is startled awake from her first-order dream and, still asleep, she seeks out Sheppard in his quarters. When Sheppard does not answer her call, she opens his door with a hand-wave and walks in (and it's never made entirely clear how locking the doors of private quarters works on Atlantis; whether the doors are programmable, whether anyone can just walk into anyone's quarters like Weir walked into Sheppard's room after knocking in Home, if Sheppard has made sure that she is able to access his room in an emergency as member of his team, or whether Teyla just dreams that she is able to walk into his room at will).

This is Teyla's dream, so we don't actually even know whether Sheppard had been sleeping in his own quarters, and if he has, the reason could simply be because McKay has still been pulling those all-nighters at his lab as is textualized in a later scene. The dead Sheppard in Sheppard's bed may even be symbolic of the fact that in her subconscious, she knows that her leader does not sleep there. With that being said, it is suspicious that they show everyone else's quarters but McKay's. They hold off showing his quarters for a long time and even then we only get a quick peek.

It is of course possible that Sheppard had been sleeping in his own bed. This may well be the case. But the following morning when we find Sheppard and Teyla training in the same Athosian martial art we saw them practicing in Hot Zone (S01E13), they have a conversation that once more calls into question whether he does, in fact, sleep alone:

Sheppard: You OK? Teyla: Yes. Sheppard: Are you sure? Cos it's usually me picking my butt up off the mat. Teyla: Truthfully, I have not been sleeping much. And when I do, I have been having nightmares about the Wraith. Sheppard: Well, you're not the only one.

They could definitely use some quality bonding time together following the events of the previous episode.

First thing to note is that Sheppard has no problem kicking her ass if she's going to let him because he sees her as a warrior first and woman somewhere way down the line. It is uncharacteristic of her to be losing this badly, though, so he is starting to get worried about her. But more importantly, Sheppard doesn't actually say that he has been the one having nightmares about the wraith, or that he has been the one not sleeping much lately. It is a natural assumption to make and one that Teyla probably makes, as well. Only, it would be very unlike Sheppard for him to make himself vulnerable like that, to confess that he has a weakness.

Yes, they are friends, they are close, he does at least sometimes try to share personal things with her, to connect with her. But clearly there is nothing wrong with Sheppard's physical prowess, here, compared to hers. He even admits it himself that usually Teyla is beating him with little effort. So it follows that he is not the one who has been sleeping poorly, and as he has not been sleeping poorly, he also has not been the one having nightmares about the wraith. We also learn a few episodes hence that his nightmares are about what he had to do to Col. Sumner, not about the wraith as such. Also, he makes the comment much too casually (ie., the casualness is feigned) for him not to be genuinely concerned about who ever he is talking about.

So. There is someone else that has not been sleeping much (and this much even Teyla knew in her dream, McKay is becoming seriously sleep-deprived) working around the clock. And even when he does sleep, he has nightmares about the wraith. McKay, who has personally been to several hives, has seen the wraith up close and personal, has watched a wraith almost kill Sheppard without being able to stop it. Yeah, whether or not Sheppard is talking about him, McKay has definitely been having nightmares about them. Sheppard further has a strange reaction to Teyla mentioning his father being taken, here ("It has not been so bad since my father was taken"). Yes, Sheppard has issues with his family and we have just recently been reminded of this. But his father is still alive. McKay's parents, we already know, are both dead. Teyla and McKay may be paralleled in this, as well.

It follows that Sheppard is likely not talking about himself when he makes the comment that Teyla is not the only one that has been having nightmares about the wraith, he's not going to leave an opening like that for anyone at this time, is not even able to expose himself like that, to make himself vulnerable like that, to anyone but McKay. So he has to be talking about someone else. And if he has personally been sleeping poorly, it's because he has had to sleep in his too-small bed alone where McKay has had no time for sleeping whatsoever. But compared to everyone else, it seems like Sheppard has been the one getting sleep.

This is all but confirmed as they return to this very topic in the following scene in the meeting room where a large contingent of the expedition have gathered, among them both scientists and military personnel. The meeting is already underway as we join them:

Weir: I want options. McKay: You mean, besides crying ourselves to sleep? Well, not me! I haven't slept in days. Weir: And what do you have to show for your sleepless nights, Rodney?

The lady doth protest too much. He frigging volunteers this information completely unprompted. He admits it himself that he has been sleeping poorly if at all recently. He is the only other person besides Teyla that we know for a fact has not been sleeping lately. That tracks with what Sheppard was saying to Teyla. But he also says crying ourselves to sleep. Ourselves. Ourselves.

Also, while he does not look at Sheppard, he does gravitate toward him as he says this. He turns his head and says the first part to Sheppard and then turns to Zelenka with his explanation as though Zelenka--his closest lab collaborator--is the one who most needs to be convinced that McKay hasn't been sleeping for days. If anyone should know whether he has been sleeping or not, surely it should be Zelenka. Now, I'm not suggesting that McKay and Sheppard have actually been bawling their eyes out ugly-crying together every night because a) Sheppard has been trying real hard not to feel anything at all and b) they're both grown-ass men. But this is highly likely to be an example of parapraxis, of unwittingly speaking out thoughts that one tries to put outside of consciousness. At the very least the show has gone out of its way to make us think about their sleeping arrangements over several episodes.

Over the seasons we learn that Sheppard and McKay know so much both random shit and extremely private information about each other that it would not be out of the question for the two of them having spent these, what they believe of be their final days (and nights) not only together but alive at all, sharing things about one another in the small hours (whether in the bed that they most definitely share together at this time, or in "the game" room, if you prefer). And some of those things probably at least make you want to cry, knowing the kind of crap the two of them have been through in their respective lives that we have been hinted at. So, yeah. While what McKay says might not be literally true and he's certainly not admitting to it even if it was, the thought did not come out of nowhere. Also, when we find him exiting the office of Heightmeyer later, McKay does seem to be wiping his eye so it is entirely possible there has been some weeping in his recent past.

The scene in the meeting room has some interesting cuts again. We are not shown Sheppard and McKay in the same frame at all but they are not standing as far apart as they first seem. Only Teyla is between them, and they (and Zelenka) are all leaning against the tables to allow the people standing behind them a better view. There are, once more, marines standing guard at the meeting showing us the precautions Sheppard has been taking (and the fact that he has done this may have spared them a lot of trouble down the line as, unbeknownst to them, there is a wraith loose in the city at this time).

And once more, we don't see the beginning of the meeting, we don't see people coming into the room and settling to their places. When the meeting is already underway, everyone's attention is on Weir. Weir tells them that she would like everyone to focus on what they do best so it's fascinating that in this meeting, McKay is being somewhat combative and Sheppard is being conciliatory, again telling us which one of them has not been sleeping.

Now, what McKay and Zelenka are doing in the meeting can only be described as bickering:

McKay: Well, since we've got here, we've uncovered a number of defensive weapons systems beyond the shield. Wh-- Zelenka: We think our best option is the control chair. McKay: I was gonna say that. Zelenka: Yes, but you were taking too long as usual. McKay: Yes, but the point is, this may not be our best chance. Zelenka: Name a better one. Weir: Gentlemen!

First of all, Zelenka says that McKay usually takes too long which is something that Sheppard might heartily agree with. See discussion on Sheppard having helped speed McKay up and McKay having helped slow Sheppard down in connection with The Brotherhood (S01E17). Sheppard, of course, has suffered from this affliction of his more than most but Zelenka is also clearly running out of patience with hm.

The fact that McKay would ordinarily be doing this kind of back-and-forth in a meeting with Sheppard is only emphasized by Weir's "Gentlemen!" which she has had to say to the two of them several times previously. With regards to bickering, I have referred before to the scene in First Strike (S03E20) where Sheppard finds the two of them all bickered out, which actually makes him worried because he's so used to them working together that way. When they do start bickering again, Sheppard flippantly suggests that they should just make out to get it over with but he had been genuinely concerned to find them not bickering. Listening to this exchange must be comforting to Sheppard because, for one, he likes listening to McKay and second, Zelenka actually forces him to walk other people through his thinking and somewhat translates him to a lay audience.

So, in the previous scene we saw Sheppard with his best buddy doing physical exercise and here we see McKay with his best buddy doing some mental sparring (I mean, Beckett does theoretically hold the title of his best friend but in this episode, Sheppard-Teyla and McKay-Zelenka are clearly paralleled; it is meant to highlight to us the difference between friendship and something that is more than that). It's very poetic. But when we compare the way McKay bickers with Zelenka and the way he usually banters with Sheppard (which also happens toward the end of this scene), there is a difference. Often, McKay and Sheppard are going back-and-forth because they enjoy it, they want to get a reaction out of the other, it's teasing but good-natured, they are doing it to get closer to the other person. With Zelenka, they are actually in contest, trying to one-up each other. They are actually sick of having spent so much time in each other's presence recently and are airing the frustration born out of this. It is very differently motivated. For Sheppard and McKay it builds tension, for McKay and Zelenka it diffuses it.

Weir doesn't seem to have patience for the McKay and Zelenka show any more than she has for the McKay and Sheppard show, so she changes the topic. They have established an Alpha Site on another world:

Weir: Sergeant Bates: where are we with our Alpha site? Bates: We've completed the ground and aerial security sweep and are ready to begin establishing base camp. We're just awaiting final inspection by Major Sheppard. Sheppard: Right after lunch.

So, apparently Sheppard has lunch plans and can't go before. Which is real fucking interesting considering that in that the next scene, we find Teyla eating alone and being joined by Heightmeyer. The fact that Sheppard makes explicit reference to lunch and then we don't see him having lunch with his best work-out buddy and team member with whom he should be going to the Alpha Site right after lunch is something. That is a damn lampshade.

And like McKay turned his head toward Sheppard when he mentioned the crying ourselves to sleep thing, Sheppard here nods to McKay's direction as he mentions lunch, glancing at him from behind Teyla's head. It's not that he's meaning to signal to everyone what (or who) he will be doing for lunch, it's a subconscious gesture. It's his body-language revealing things that he has no conscious desire to disclose to anyone.

Weir and Teyla have a discussion about what the Athosians intend to do during this time that turns somewhat philosophical. Note that Weir and Teyla are mirroring each other, Teyla is tilting her head to the same direction as Weir whereas Sheppard... isn't (in fact, his head was tilted the exact opposite way; his face turned to McKay while keeping his eyes looking forward).

Note also the fact that here Teyla emphasizes the word "ourselves," indicating that she means herself and Sheppard, which just makes McKay's "ourselves" earlier so much more likely to also contain Sheppard. And Sheppard also reacts to this "ourselves" in particular; they probably briefly share in the memory of what they saw on the planet. We did not get to see how if at all he reacted to what McKay said earlier about the crying ourselves to sleep.

Weir then mentions McKay by name, prompting him to do a little wave to acknowledge what she was saying, accompanied with a raising of his brow. He also looks at Sheppard because obviously his reaction is what he most cares about. And where Zelenka seems to be so very done with McKay at present, Sheppard on the other hand, is all about him. His entire world is oriented to McKay.

Sheppard almost smiles at McKay, catches himself before he does. They cannot be seen mooning at each other during a meeting especially when there are goddamn marines standing just behind Weir looking right at them. This is a subtle exchange between the two but in that context, really rather bold.

I will also remind you of the fact that when McKay was removing the control crystal in Home (the episode is again calling back to it), kneeling underneath the table with Sheppard seated next to him completely zoning out, Sheppard was so damned turned on. This was when they were still just flirting. When nothing had happened. When Sheppard had only his imagination, and a cold shower waiting for him. Now, I can't tell you for sure that this memory is where Sheppard's mind went here but it certainly is the first thing it reminded me of. Especially given that McKay's flirtatious little wave here matches with his flirty tone back then.

Weir and Teyla go on for quite a while and are only interrupted by Kavanaugh who, as an honest coward, has no desire to die. The thing is, Sheppard doesn't really know what happened between Weir and Kavanaugh during 38 Minutes (S01E04) beyond possibly reading the mission report. We know that later on he really hates the man which, to be fair, seems to be a common experience for pretty much anyone that runs into him including actual aliens. But here, Sheppard doesn't really have any reason to dislike him. And you can see that while he very much disagrees with what Kavanaugh says and even makes light of it (he is playing with words and Kavanaugh either fails to notice or just ignores him; Sheppard is saying that considering is within the realm of possibility, not the actual doing), he is trying really hard to be respectful toward him. Sheppard's disagreement is meant to make the others believe in themselves, to keep hope alive:

Kavanaugh: We can't possibly consider staying and fighting. Sheppard: I disagree. I think it's entirely within the realm of possibility. Kavanaugh: There are tens of thousands of life-sucking aliens in highly advanced spaceships on their way here to destroy us, and we have, what, two hundred people, most of whom are scientists who've never even fired a gun before? McKay: Shockingly, first time ever I've found myself having to agree with Kavanaugh. Sheppard: All I'm saying is, let's not give up--just yet.

Sheppard looks at Kavanaugh to whom he is responding, he looks at Weir who is holding the floor, and finally he looks at McKay to see what he thinks about what he was just saying. Because that's what he cares about the most.

Yes, Sheppard is probably hoping that McKay will come up with something, some Hail Mary pass, that might save them even though he knows not to pile any more pressure on him at this moment since the man seems to be crushing under it as it is (and having nightmares and sleepless nights about it). He is trying really hard to keep an upbeat can-do attitude, and to express his faith in the scientists. What he's saying here is very similar to what the said at the beginning of the previous episode ("It means there's still time, Rodney. There's no reason to panic--yet"). And here, too, it is McKay's pessimism that makes him attempt to comfort him and him specifically. He may not be feeling any hope himself but he is damned if he's going to let his own feelings of impending doom and certain death get in the way of trying to make the person he cares about feel better about it all. This is him taking care of McKay emotionally, and in a very public setting, at that.

And since he's doing that, McKay apparently immediately transitions to having a private conversation with him that has very little to do with their current meeting, a general debate over the merits of the military and scientists with McKay arguing that warriors like Sheppard are much more courageous, gallant, and disciplined than scientists like him (although unlike Kavanaugh, McKay would not be afraid to go to the front line if it was needed), and Sheppard cheer-leading for scientists like McKay (who he knows can build an A-bomb and which, frankly, turns him on)*** that are able to do so much more than to just take a stand and lay down their lives for the greater good.

It's very sweet how they are each arguing for the other person with such conviction but their exchange clearly has the potential of turning into a more heated debate if it's allowed to go on for much longer. It does not seem like the first time they are having a discussion on this topic, either:

McKay: Now what was that we were supposed to all remember? It was something important. Oh yes, that's right--the Alamo! Sheppard: Granted you guys are scientists. No one's considering putting you guys on the front line, but science can turn the tide of war. Look at the... A-bomb. Zelenka: Not exactly our proudest moment.

McKay is clearly more testy than he usually is in meetings with Sheppard, his exhaustion showing in his need to argue for the sake or arguing even when he doesn't really disagree with Sheppard (and more shocking than his siding with Kavanaugh is that he takes, possibly for the first time, a public stance against Sheppard here; not because he doesn't think that they should fight back but believing that most of his science team will be unable). We see an even better example of McKay's exhaustion driven testiness with Weir later which Sheppard diffuses, confirming the fact that Sheppard and McKay have had a discussion about his lack of sleep not shown on screen.

It's good of Zelenka to interrupt them for the sake of everyone and for Weir to call the meeting to an end (once more telling the two of them to focus) so that they can continue this discussion over lunch. Or what ever else Sheppard had in mind to do during lunch when he definitely isn't eating in the cafeteria. While they're not exactly jumping for joy the situation being what it is, there's a clear to-be-continued here for the both of them. And as Sheppard gets up to leave, he turns to McKay.

You can see by his body language that this man is walking out of that room following McKay (just as we later see him more explicitly walk out of a meeting following McKay). That man is his Alamo.

Continued in Pt. 2

-* Since we see the poster of Johnny Cash in Teyla's dream, there may be a reference to one of his songs hiding in somewhere. See for example the lyrics to The Loving Gift (a duet with his wife June Carter):

You gave me a blanket to keep me from the cold of Siberia/Antarctic You gave me a song I learned to sing You showed me some beauty through the windows of your puddle jumper soul And you showed me a galaxy world I've never seen

Each giving to the other love and giving it away We spent the precious time we knew was borrowed 'Cause you gave me the courage to live with yesterday And you gave me tomorrow

You brought me a candle to light my way to bed You erased those shadows I'd been seeing You brought me a pillow to rest my weary head You taught me a gentle way of dreaming

Not only have we been made to think about their sleeping arrangements a lot over the past several episodes, even in this very episode we not only see Sheppard asleep in a bed, we are hinted that McKay has been having nightmares and that Sheppard is the one that pushes him to see Heightmeyer about them (see next entry), teaching him a gentle way of dreaming, as it were. For what possible reason do we need to know this much about how they spend their nights, hm?

-** So, we are told that "there are no hidden meanings" in dreams but there is certainly symbolism in scenes that pertain to dreams. There seemed to be a reference to War and Peace the last time we saw the book in Home so it follows that there's probably a reason to show us the book again in this episode. There is an interesting scene in the novel (Epilogue 1, Chapter 16--which suggests that Sheppard is almost done reading the book by this time), where a third character is startled awake from a nightmare pertaining to war (Teyla), in which Pierre (McKay) and Natasha (Sheppard) "began to talk as only a husband and wife can talk":

As soon as Natasha and Pierre were alone they too began to talk as only a husband and wife can talk, that is, apprehending one another's thoughts and exchanging ideas with extraordinary swiftness and perspicuity, contrary to all the rules of logic, without the aid of premises, deductions, or conclusions, and in a quite singular way. Natasha was so used to this kind of talk with her husband that for her it was a sure sign of something wrong between them if Pierre followed a logical train of thought. When he began proving something, coolly reasoning, and she, led on by his example, began to do the same, she knew they were on the verge of a quarrel. [Cf. the beginning of both this episode and the previous episode] From the moment they were alone together and Natasha, wide-eyed with happiness, stole up to him, suddenly seizing his head and pressing it to her breast and saying: "Now you are mine, all mine! You shan't escape!" — from that moment there sprang up a conversation that was contrary to all the laws of logic, contrary because entirely different subjects were talked of at the same time. This simultaneous discussion of many topics, far from hindering a clear understanding, was the surest indication that they fully understood each other. Just as in a dream when everything is unreal, meaningless, and contradictory except the feeling that governs the dream, so in this communion of thoughts, contrary to all laws of reason, the words themselves were not clear and consecutive, but only the feeling that prompted them. ...

"There now—you talk of my absence, but you wouldn’t believe what a special feeling I have for you after a separation....” “Yes, I should think...” Natasha began. “No, it’s not that. I never leave off loving you. And one couldn’t love more, but this is something special.... Yes, of course—” he did not finish because their eyes meeting said the rest.

The scene also features them sharing things about their pasts, their insecurities, the kinds of private thoughts couples share. This is the only time dreaming is mentioned in the entire book so if the episode is meaning to reference to the book, this chapter would be it. I don't know about you, but for me this chapter explains a lot of what happens in this episode.

-*** Here, McKay smiles bitterly as Zelenka reminds them of the role scientists had in the creation of the A bomb but in Underground (S01E07) McKay and Sheppard were having a very different discussion over the topic:

Cowen: The secrecy of who and what we are is the only defense we have against the Wraith. One day, all that will change. McKay: And you think you can do that with an atomic bomb? Cowen: Now it's you who surprise me. McKay: Well, radioactive readings; your fascination with our C4... Sheppard: You're just mentioning this now? McKay: It just came to me when he said one day all that would change. I assume you're hoping our C4 will solve your super-criticality problem. Cowen: Will it? McKay: It might. Depends on your designs. There's a host of other considerations. Sheppard: You know how to make an A bomb? McKay: Major, most of my high school chess team could design an A bomb. The actual hard part is having sufficient fissional materials of an appropriate grade.

I will also remind you of the fact that listening to Mckay talking about the A bomb on the Genii home world is when Sheppard realized that he feels something more than mere physical attraction toward this man.

[tinknevertalks]

Saw this on Facebook...

[chayscribbles]

have i mentioned i'm making Dyonas Palace in the sims like i did w the spaceship. it's way too elaborate. there's an underground swimming pool

[its-me-nikola-tesla]

Yes yes I am aware it's my birthday yay me 🙄

[fingertipsmp3]

Unfortunately I absolutely fucked up one of my nails today but also I made my grandma a tote bag for her birthday so I think overall it’s going well

[ephemeral-winter]

current uk culture war about a disco held in canterbury cathedral is hilarious to me because a) that sounds sick as hell why wasn’t I there b) “sacred” sites are many things to many people so please calm down and c) possibly the most fun I’ve ever had was playing beer pong on the decommissioned altar in an old nunnery chapel and I think allowing everybody to experience that same commingling of the profane and the sacred is an essential duty of religious institutions

[ciceroandlucien]

Alesan, the only child in Dawnstar. He's an orphan and a Redguard. One day he is out at night after finishing delivering dinner to the mine and he runs into Babette who is out for a hunt, maybe. He's smitten, but Babette quickly clears that up. But she feels some pity because she loves *her* family, so she invites him to join. He's scared at first, but Nazir shows him the family recipe for his stew so he can impress the miners and Cicero gives him a dagger. The Listener lets Alesan care for Shadowmere when they're not riding her.

[local-lovebug]

Heyo, I'm looking for some active players of the flutter games!

Friend codes are

Butterflies: QPPH (until 13.02.)

Moths: WQ55 (until 12.02.)

If you wanna friend me after this runs out, pm me!

[sezja]

The fucking popped collar on the polo shirt is fucking killing me

[blackroseenchantments]

These vegan bracelets include donations to animal sanctuaries of your choice! Up in the new shop!

[dr-futbol-blog]

The Gift, Pt. 4

Presumably the team spends some time going through the wraith facility but next we cut to McKay back in his own lab hooking up a wraith information device to his computer. Weir walks in telling him that Sheppard had said they'd found a wraith laboratory which means that what ever mission report he was giving her, they were now done with it. Which also means that McKay's motivation for playing around with this device they had brought back with them just went down to practically zero. He does have better things he should be doing.

The scene is basically just more exposition but it does display McKay's exhaustion. While McKay often ignores questions from Ford that he does not deem worth answering, here we see him flat out ignore a question from Weir that he doesn't have an answer for, which is much more unusual:

Weir: Do you think the Wraith were experimenting on the people of that planet? McKay: Well, I have no idea. Hoping this thing will tell us. Weir: Why the need for secrecy? The Wraith can take people at will and do whatever they want with them. McKay: Here we go. There. Now, that... that means absolutely nothing to me.

McKay doesn't have patience for rhetorical questions under the best of circumstances but here, he still tells Weir that he has no idea the first time because she did ask for his opinion on the matter. For the second question, he no longer bothers. For McKay, this is a side quest and a distraction.

Sure, they might be able to learn something about the wraith but they have more pressing problems than Wraith History 101. He shows further signs of his patience having worn thinner than usual, and the fact that he is talking with Weir instead of anyone else just highlights this fact:

Weir: I wonder... McKay: Just so you know, you didn't actually finish that sentence out loud. Weir: Well, this is obviously a language. McKay: Wraith language? Weir: That would make sense. I'd like to have a good look through this. McKay: Oh, well, knock yourself out. I've got to get back to the control chair anyway.

So, McKay takes off pretty fast. He says he has to get back to the control chair although he does not say that he was going to get back to the control chair right away. Notable is that between this scene and when we find him at the control chair, a considerable amount of time has passed and Beckett, in fact, informs us that it's "quite late".

Apparently McKay has been working on the control chair for a while now and we are to understand that it has been his main occupation for the past several days. They mentioned the chair in the first meeting, and McKay and Zelenka had difference of opinion on how useful it would be for their defense. Now, unless I've missed something major, this is the first time we see or hear about the control chair of Atlantis. We saw Sheppard activate the Antarctic chair back on Earth (Rising S01E01) which, incidentally, was the first meeting between himself and McKay. But when and how the control chair on Atlantis was discovered, we don't know. The discovery seems to be glossed over with McKay's line "Well, since we've got here, we've uncovered a number of defensive weapons systems beyond the shield" at the beginning of the episode. So, no big deal.

According to Zelenka, they haven't even been able to initialize the chair yet so that's what they are working on. Based on what he says, one might speculate that they have attempted to initialize it previously so when we find them trying to talk Beckett into sitting on it, that may not actually be their first attempt. In fact, it would be really surprising if Sheppard hadn't wanted to take a seat on it himself the moment it was discovered.

Their issue is with powering the chair, and since what they are doing is trying out different power sources, it follows that the later attempt with Sheppard using the chair needs not be the first time he has been in contact with the chair. For Zelenka to be able to say that they hadn't been able to initialize it yet in the first meeting, they must have at least attempted it before this scene with Beckett.

It's interesting that between McKay leaving Weir to work on the control chair and when we actually finding him working on the control chair, there is a scene where Teyla has another nightmare. Apparently, she had tried napping again. Now, it's doubtful McKay left Weir saying that he was needed to work on the chair and then went napping, so we are probably to understand that McKay is even more sleep-deprived than Teyla since there are requirements made on his time from multiple sides to produce all kinds of work that might potentially help them combat the wraith. However, we also don't know that he was diligently working on the chair this whole time; he certainly had time to do other things. But the fact that Teyla is sleeping poorly and we see McKay work through even these attempts of her at sleeping is pretty concerning.

Weir fetches Beckett from the control chair room and we are to understand that a considerable amount of time has passed; that she didn't just walk in there after McKay had just left her office but had actually spent a lot of time going through the wraith log. By the way McKay and Zelenka are going on, they've also been at it a while. They are trying to talk Beckett, the person with the authentic ATA gene whose time is not in as great demand as Sheppard's, to initialize the chair:

Beckett: Don't you remember what happened last time I sat in one of those? McKay: There's nowhere near enough power in the thing to do anything.

Does McKay remember when Beckett almost shot Sheppard out of the sky and he soon after walked in on a sight that would change the course of his entire life? He will not forget that as long as he lives.

McKay is trying very hard to be patient but the strain of the situation is clearly affecting him:

Zelenka: We are trying to determine exactly how much power is required to operate the systems that are controlled by the chair. McKay: And in order to do that, it needs to be on. Beckett: You have the gene now! McKay: Yeah, but I can't be trying to analyse the feedback data while I'm concentrating on keeping the damn thing activated! Beckett: Why don't you analyse it? Zelenka: Well, I could analyse it, but Rodney doesn't think that I...

The fact that they are not using Sheppard is actually rather curious and it is not explained why. We are to assume that he is busy but then, he has a lot of time to hang around Teyla while they are figuring out her wraith business. The fact that McKay could be doing it himself and just doesn't think Zelenka is--what?--capable of doing it is also pretty suspect. It seems like not being able to get any sleep is making McKay much more like "always like this" McKay than usual, and it's possible that he just doesn't want Sheppard to see him like that, doesn't want to take it out on him, is trying to protect Sheppard from his irascible mood by keeping him out of the lab (even during The Storm S01E09 he was trying to shield Sheppard from himself when he was chewing out his team). When you are tired, it's difficult enough to concentrate without someone there that naturally captivates your entire attention. Sheppard mentioned Teyla biting his head off just for caring about her earlier, and now we are to understand that McKay has had even less sleep than her. So him not wanting to use Sheppard here until as a last resort makes sense.

Weir, however, needs Beckett and comes to steal him away.

Weir: Gentlemen, how's it coming? McKay: Well, not good! Weir: Well, I'm sorry, but this won't help. Carson, I need you. Beckett: Oh, thank God! McKay: Yeah, but we're using him!

The thing is, even though he comes across like a petulant child, what McKay is doing here probably is the most important thing they could be doing. If they get the chair to work, it might be the only viable defense they have against the wraith. Weir coming to snatch Beckett away to satisfy her curiosity regarding this side-quest is a questionable decision. The frivolity of the topic is underlined by the bet that McKay and Zelenka have apparently had going about whether the wraith had been in Pegasus because of Ancients:

McKay: Oh, you're kidding me! Zelenka: Pay up. Beckett: How d'you know? Weir: The Wraith language. it's a derivative of Ancient. McKay: Well, that doesn't categorically mean... Weir: Rodney, please.

Apparently Weir had also been up all night translating the log from the wraith data device as she, too, seems to be running out of patience. The thing is, she's usually able to indulge McKay for a time and he actually has to go over her threshold for her to ask him to stop. Here, however, McKay makes a valid point that she just doesn't have time to process because what she had come for was Beckett to get his opinion on the contents of the device as a medical professional. Weir's lack of sleep does not seem to be motivated by an inability to sleep or having nightmares or crying herself to sleep, which has been indicated with McKay. She does thank Zelenka for making her nightmares more vivid in the following episode, but the way she says it, it sounds to be nothing but a turn of phrase, not a reference to actual nightmares. But regardless, she is also showing signs of strain.

Something interesting happens then:

McKay: Alright, we'll try Doctor Kusanagi. Zelenka: Kusanagi. McKay: Now! Zelenka: OK. McKay: Thank you!

First of all, Zelenka is clearly receiving the brunt of McKay's exhaustion, the poor man. Secondly, he is trying which you can tell by the fact that he actually says "thank you" which, according to Sheppard in McKay and Mrs Miller (S03E08) he never does. But more significantly, we never get to put a face on Doctor Kusanagi. Similarly, we never got a name for the Japanese doctor we saw in the previous episode Letters from Pegasus (S01E17). Let us assume that these are the same person because at least as far as we have seen, she is the only Japanese person on his science team at this time (there are a few Asian scientists in the background while Weir is in his lab and in the next episodes but they are random red (blue) shirts), and we are told in the following episode that Dr. Kusanagi is a woman. So. It means that this woman either has the authentic ATA gene or has received one through the gene therapy. She is number 3 on their list of people that could initialize Ancient technology. Why do I find this fascinating?

This woman clearly has a crush on McKay. She has the hots for him. She actually almost sexually assaulted him (he does not require your assistance massaging his cramping groin, Ma'am). In fact, even from McKay's tone here you can hear that he would rather not deal with her. And all of this would make perfect sense in the light of what I speculated in connection with Sanctuary (S01E14): that the Ancients and to lesser degree the people with the ATA feel a pull, a strong sexual desire toward one another.

Later on, we are meant to compare Teyla with Sheppard in that they both carry alien DNA, Sheppard of the Ancients and Teyla from the wraith. Teyla describes the feeling of being near the wraith as a "deep cold". She has always been able to sense them coming. We have so many, many indications that Sheppard is likewise able to sense the Ancients and people with the ATA gene, and even McKay could feel Chaya. But what that feels like is not a deep cold. It's more like a heat that pulls at you, it is a desire. It seems to be strong and while it can be resisted, it's especially difficult for people that don't even understand what is happening (like Dr. Kusanagi, or later Lt. Cadman). It is a genetic trait that is meant to make a population nearing Ascension want to mate even when they have lost all interest in the physical world.

Now, while Sheppard was born with the gene and has lived with it his entire life, McKay's gene was artificially activated so he is actually able to tell the difference between what it feels like to be around someone with the ATA gene under normal circumstances (he had been around Beckett and Sheppard before he got his therapy) and while having the gene activated in himself. He is in a unique position to compare the two and to know what is and what isn't normal for humans. For Sheppard, sensing the Ancients is as ordinary as sensing the wraith is for Teyla. Even if he had run into people with the ATA gene while back on Earth, he would have no idea what was going on or why those people, like Col. O'Neill, may have felt different to him--felt "Ancient-y," as he later describes it.

Regardless, this would explain the strange obsession and wish to serve that this scientist seems to have for McKay in spite of McKay clearly not having treated her with any special regard. These scenes are played out as comedic but they are actually keeping in with what we are shown but never explicitly textually confirmed about the Ancients and the people with the ATA gene in the franchise. Also worth pointing out is the defensive set of McKay's arms throughout this scene. It isn't just Sheppard that physically displays a boundary between himself and other people and yet showcases open body language between the two of them. They are welcome in each other's personal spaces but the same is not true for the others. They are so welcome in each other's personal spaces that the show actually had to put a personal shield around McKay when he first got the therapy. And it's going to take a whole lot more than McKay being in a mood to keep Sheppard away from him for very long.

Continued in Pt. 5

[atombonniebaby]

Sanctuary Hills Build 1/2 - Player Home (Part 2 will be the rest of Sanctuary!)

The mod list is included below! :D

Exterior

Living/Dining

Hallway, Bathroom and Upstairs Landing

Downstairs Bedrooms

MacCready and Duncan's Space

So, this is about 95% complete...

Just some structural things to tie up and a few extra decorations (clearly, most of my love has gone into the living/dining and the MacCready boys!)

There is nothing left of the original house. I downloaded a mod that allows you to scrap the houses (with rebuilt precombines and SS2 compatibility!)

My theme was 'Homely Scraver' I tried to add elements of the original home and kept the lower level dimensions (I only scrapped the house after I had everything in place!)

Mod List and Tips!

If you want to download the mods I used, I've linked them all below!

I've also added in keyboard shortcuts I had no idea existed that skyrocketed my attention to detail (and considerably extended how long this took! haha!)

Mods I Used

Base Mods

Settlement Menu Manager (Needed for some of the packs to show up in the workshop menu) - https://www.nexusmods.com/fallout4/mods/24204?tab=files

Place Everywhere (Essential for overlapping walls, dense clutter, etc) https://www.nexusmods.com/fallout4/mods/9424

Sanctuary Deep Clen and Remodel (Needed to scrap Sanctuary player home! Also adds 2 new bridges, pre-war, and a scrappy repair!) https://www.nexusmods.com/fallout4/mods/65561

Sim Settlements 2

Note: Probably not required. The base game build items and the other clutter mods would work, but SS2 is worth it! I did use the SS2 kit below for quite a few items, like the colored wood walls and such, plus decor.

Workshop Framework (Great mod, required for SS2, but also allows for exporting/importing Settelment layouts!)- https://www.nexusmods.com/fallout4/mods/35004

Sim Settlements 2 - https://www.nexusmods.com/fallout4/mods/47976

Sim Settlements 2 Wasteland Reconstruction Kit - https://www.nexusmods.com/fallout4/mods/48960

Bethesda.net (Honestly, some of the best workshop packs! Just save to your library for easy access)

Creative Clutter (Hands down can't live without this mod!) - https://mods.bethesda.net/en/fallout4/mod-detail/3411824 (There's an update ahh!)

V's Community Art (Some really nice art, some from in-game!) - https://mods.bethesda.net/en/fallout4/mod-detail/4335883

V's Scavver Art (I'm in love with this pack!) - https://mods.bethesda.net/en/fallout4/mod-detail/4335878

V's Stylish Decor (This pack is also pretty dang epic!)- https://mods.bethesda.net/en/fallout4/mod-detail/4335873

V's Book Retexture (No more pristine gray books!) - https://mods.bethesda.net/en/fallout4/mod-detail/4335888

Modular Kitchens: Updated (Snappable, clean, and worn variations, plus things to put on and in the fixtures!...like a frying pan with an omelet...immersion!) - https://mods.bethesda.net/en/fallout4/mod-detail/4096569

Do It Yourself: Updated (An easy way to fill up shelves!) - https://mods.bethesda.net/en/fallout4/mod-detail/4129753

Nexus

OCDecorator (Mainly to snag and place Mac's wooden soldier!) - https://www.nexusmods.com/fallout4/mods/4270?tab=files

Capital Wasteland Workshop Pack (pack one and two bring some nostalgia for a certain merc!) - https://www.nexusmods.com/fallout4/mods/43068

Capital Wasteland Workshop Pack II -https://www.nexusmods.com/fallout4/mods/5062

Rebuild - Workshop Standalone (the interior Sanctuary doors, with aged textures) - https://www.nexusmods.com/fallout4/mods/71742

The Cozy Scavver (Curtains. Will also be used for pre-made decor. Has some awesome pre-fabs!)- https://www.nexusmods.com/fallout4/mods/38982

The most immersive Coffee Mod (Coffee machines!)- https://www.nexusmods.com/fallout4/mods/19012

Snappy House Kit (I believe the staircase was the only thing used, but this mod includes repaired versions of Concord-style homes and so much more!) - https://www.nexusmods.com/fallout4/mods/11639

Scavver's Settlement Kit (Most of the wooden floors and walls!)- https://www.nexusmods.com/fallout4/mods/25515

cVc Dead Wasteland (All packs and all dependable! Some great clutter and Pre-fabs! Reorganises other mods to be included in the menus...such as display cases!) - https://www.nexusmods.com/fallout4/mods/43818

Femshepping Minimalist Homewares (Great decor! I love Femshepping's stuff!) - https://www.nexusmods.com/fallout4/mods/16316

CWSS Redux (Working bathroom furniture, with animations! - Also responsible for the "we aim to please, your aim will help" on the bathroom mirror, hah! Pair with advanced needs to add bathing requirements!...and yes, companions/npcs use them!) - https://www.dropbox.com/s/i3qi9s6yex2liyv/CWSS%20Redux%20v4.01.7z?dl=0

Fast Food (Adds a toaster, kettle, teapot, and bucket for fast, well food. Makes toast, and boiled water by simply tapping them!) - https://www.nexusmods.com/fallout4/mods/68467

Old World Plaids (Lots of scrappy overhauls with plaids...Nate is Scottish...this is essential for storytelling, hah!) - https://www.nexusmods.com/fallout4/mods/10769

Voiceapalooza Assortment (Adds cheese to the game, what else can I say?)- https://www.nexusmods.com/fallout4/mods/71486

Keyboard Shortcuts for fine-tuned placements!

Num Pad

8 & 2 = up and down.

4 & 6 = left and right

7 & 8 = move at an anlge

1 & 3 = size down and size up

/ & * = Adjust movement speed

- & + = Adjust Rotation amount

num Lock & then hit 0 = Unlock inaccessible items in build mode. (Good for deleting shrubs or doors that can't be highlighted—be careful. This includes companions! Guess how I know, hah!)

I have also noticed 1 & 7 (If I remember right) turn off physics, so any items you can pick up become static and won't move around!)

Main Keyboard

, & . = Rotation

L-CTRL or R-Alt = Change rotation axis.

I used the placement and rotation axis keys a lot in this build! Mac and Duncan's room has the best examples. I used these shortcuts to make Mac's soldier sit in the little bin on his dresser, place the cushions, etc., on their beds, including hanging Mac's hat on the bedpost!

[bluesunsdusk]

Thread By Thread

An omium lay desolate and isolated, sectioned off by security detail. Helix Security had mad a lot of effort to make sure no one could enter any of the still-standing omniums after the incident that destroyed a portion of the Australian outback. Most people never entered the complex, leaving it susceptible to damage from neglect and pests. Some omniums that had managed to evade detection before the end of the crisis became dusty and overgrown, causing a hazard for the fusion cores a few still had. So, perhaps, this fate where it was guarded was preferable. They always made sure at least the core was stable. They had learned their lesson, after all. They knew it wasn't something to be messed with.

A skittering sound bounced from the walls and through the sharp geometric architecture deep within the omnium, past swathes of security personnel. It stopped and was followed by a series of high-pitched clicks. Another set of clicks and mechanical squeaks came from a small distance away of it. As if in response, a lower series of clicks and thrumming echoed after it. It was soft, like a whisper, compared to the others. As soon as it was done, the other also weakened their tones.

Two small slicers vacated the room with a few quadrupedal units with a single arm attachment in tow.

It went quiet again, only for the silence to be cut through with a buzzing. Light flickered from the entrance. It continued, sometimes interrupted, sometimes accompanied by small clicks or creaks.

Eventually, the tapping of metal on metal announced the return on the small omnic units. Their pitter-patter triggered a brief pause in activity within the room. After a small low machine hum, it continued. The quadrupeds carried thick metal cords and tubes in their clamps. A segmented metal tendril reached out to the units and rapped into the loop of cord one of them held. It let go and allowed the tendril to carry the bundle away.

The tendril traveled all the way to the other end of the room, where Setesh lay half on their back. Their long neck twisted and they poked their head out from under a set of metal tubes, large optics scanning over the wires, examining them. Setesh looked to the small unit that brought it in and spoke to it in the low clicks that went through the halls previously. "Good," they had said, in their own strange machine language. The quadrupedal unit wiggled briefly from side-to-side as a mimicry of an excited pup once addressed.

Setesh returned to their work, moving the coil of wires and their head under the large structure they were working on. Several wires hung over their face, sparking slightly, hanging loosely. Chewed through by rodents, perhaps. Many rat nests had to be eradicated when they arrived, after all. It wasn't like Helix Security cared to look after this marvel of technology. To them, it was merely a machine, a monster, a harbinger of destruction. The omnium had done nothing but protect itself and the omnics were no more than its only form of defense. Human soldiers never bothered to consider why a machine instructed to do something would do anything in its power to continue what it was constructed to do. It was a basic discussion in AI for decades and yet... Now it sat there, dormant, stuck in a virtual environment where it could enact its purpose for quarantine.

Uncoiling the cords, Setesh began to measure how much of these they'd need to replace parts of the thick wires above them. They spoke to a unit again and it trotted off to an end of the room. After some work, the sparks of the wires Set was under ceased. They moved one hand to hold the wires in place and the other to cut it. They took out a section and placed it to the side. Two more arms folded out from the underside of their chest plate. They took a section of the metal cord they'd been brought and held it in the additional hands, allowing them to carefully cut and shape the cord. Strings of superheated hard light flowed out of their palms and moved with the motion of their fingers. It pulled at the metal, bending and twisting it until it was the same length and shape as the piece of wire Setesh had removed.

They took it between their fingers after allowing it to harden and examined it once again before placing it in the space they had made in the wiring. The fingers of one hand folded out and back, making room for the element in their palm to be more visible. They held the wire still and a small buzzing sound came from the bit in their palm as they nearly touched it to the wire and a bright blue light shined from it. They did the same on the other end.

Now it just needed a protective covering...

Setesh glances at the palms of their hands, the hard light generator bits still visible. It shouldn't be too complex of a shape to perform. They looked at the newly placed wire and contemplated for a few moments. Eventually, fine strings of hard light formed from their palms again and they latched the ends of each on what still remained of the original wire covering. One-ove-another, they wove the threads together, in a lattice structure until tightened together like a reinforced sheet of fabric with a transparent blue sheen.

Staring at the results, Setesh couldn't help but be somehow surprised. They had heard of the exploits of the Vishkar's hard light technology, Maximilien had done a wonderful job of selling it to them when he attempted to convince them to join him, but they hadn't yet taken quite this approach to it. This tool was meant for construction and yet they had adapted it to destroy. They only used it in construction for minor matters or temporary repairs. This was more permanent, slightly more grand in scale, more complex. And yet, it was extremely familiar.

It was quick. It was...easy.

It was almost like that which they had already been made to do.

They looked at their hands again. One of the slicers squeezed its way next to Setesh's head and gently poked their plates. It shuffled back out and waited for Setesh to follow. The slid back and sat up, looking down at the little mechanical creature.

It emitted a croak in a rough and unwelcoming tone and hopped, spinning into another direction and walking off.

"Ah...."

Damage detected. What more did this omnium need fixed? Maybe, their creator would appreciate more than mere repairs. Perhaps, it could use a little upgrade. It won't be the shimmering jewel of Oasis, but it would be an improvement, it could be a step towards it.

[the-wardens-torch]

Greetings from the Farm!