#Geralt is protective af

[larkoneironaut]

The Kaer Morhen theme plays in the distance

Nah, I’m kidding, it’s actually Drink Up, There’s More, because that’s the only tune my last brain cell plays on it’s tin whistle

[spellwing777]

Baby bats can sound similar to human babies, apparently.

[transboysokka]

10 characters | 10 fandoms | 10 tags

This is cool, thanks for the tag @transuncletaylor! I think I just talk about my faves right? I know I’m forgetting some but here goes

Sokka (ATLA) : he’s so funny and interesting and his character is So Deep actually! I love a guy with Secret Issues. Must be relatable I guess.

Mako (LOK) : You’re going to start seeing I have a type. Hot, bad boy vibes, seems reckless but has a huge sense of justice actually. Also I LOVE a mysterious and tragic backstory.

Jim Kirk (Star Trek) : I mean the exact same reasons as above pretty much.

Jack Kelly (Newsies) : same hehe. I just love these guys of questionable sexuality who are like a leader of a found family and would do ANYTHING to protect them.

Marius Pontmercy (Les Miserables) : he’s annoying af and doesn’t get the point of anything going on around him but he knows exactly what he stands for. So relatable. His hyperfixation with Napoleon for entirely stupid reasons? Iconic. What a king. Living through a tragedy too? I’m attracted to that angst like flies on shit.

Tommy Shelby (Peaky Blinders) : He’s just badass. The best antihero. He says fuck capitalism and then falls victim to it lol. Also he is a GENIUS and loves to fuck people up to protect his family. Also his trauma is delicious to me ofc.

Geralt of Rivia (The Witcher) : Mysterious hero with pain and a family. So yeah.

Roronoa Zoro (One Piece) : I mean pretty much the same as the majority of this list. Tough guy who would die for his captain omfg

Han Solo (Star Wars) : the og baddie, need I say more

Anya Forger (Spy x Family) : listen it creeps ME out too that a little girl is on the list of me, a grown ass man, but she’s SO funny and her cuteness reminds me of like every student I ever had, I can’t help it

ok idk if y’all figured out but I just tag people by typing letters and clicking the first people who show up lol. Anyway if I dont tag you and you wanna do this, go for it. If I tag you and you don’t want to do this, fine.

@ultfreakme @ozais-lobotomist @firenaition @fanfic-gremlin-ft-trauma @jovialcloudqueenisnotonfire @kiki-strike @lizardlicks @localgaysian @zukkacore @narrativelysignificantturtleduck

[amournoir]

Okay, so I have been seeing where we ask other people to ship us with fictional characters. But this time, let's ship ourselves with who we think would be the best ship for us. Made by @hathorneheiress

thanks @wholoveseggs for the tag sweetheart!! 🤍

this might come as a surprise but i’d 100% ship myself with Jake from Scandal. he’s loyal, kind, hot, intelligent, sarcastic af, did i mention hot, protective, resourceful, secure, and once more for good measure he’s hot. he’s always going to go above and beyond for his loved ones, especially his girl. he seems like he knows nothing but not only does he know it, he’s aware of what’ll happen before it does.

ofc i totally wanna ship myself with Elijah but if it had to be anyone from tvdu, it’d probably be Enzo or Jackson. both men are loyal af and being with them there’s always reassurance, don’t get me wrong Eli is loyal unless it includes his family (Klaus mainly). at least with the other 2 guys, you always know you’re the priority. they’ll always be loyal to you, never endanger you, make more friends than enemies hence you’ll have a community everywhere you go…same can’t be said for Eli or his siblings.

anywho, i’m still choosing Jake but maybe he might share me with Enzo…or if he dies, Enzo will just step in? 🤭

i wanna see who you ship yourself with so it’s your turn: @lyndys @drudyslut @rafetopia @jjsbank444 @drewstarkeyslut @miasmultifandomdump @geralts-yenn @sugarcoatedstarkey @ghostlyfleur + anyone else!

[iris-sistibly]

The Witcher but make it modern.

Geralt, Yennefer and Jaskier living together and raising their daughter Ciri.

*

Ciri opened her TikTok app and pressed the record button. After greeting her followers, she focused the camera on Geralt, Yennefer and Jaskier who were  having breakfast. Jaskier happily waves at the camera, Yennefer makes fierce model faces, and Geralt's brows furrowed, he is a very private person but he appears on his daughter's videos on rare occasions.

Geralt: Why are you focusing the camera on us?

He noticed on the screen's background a set of words, Ciri quickly explained that she was doing this trend about parents' rules on certain things and her followers were curious about her parents' take on this.

Jaskier: (enthusiastic as always, coz he's the fun parent, duh) Ooh! Sounds fun!

Yennefer: Interesting, alright let's do this

Geralt: (pretends to be uninterested) Hm

Ciri: Okay Mama, Papa and Daddy what are your rules about partying?

Geralt: You have to have a chaperone.

Ciri: (scoffs) That's ridiculous papa!

Jaskier: He's crazy, don't listen to him cub. As long as we know who you're with and the place you're at it's perfectly fine.

Yennefer: Agreed.

Ciri: Curfew?

Geralt: You're only 13, you're not allowed to stay out late period.

Ciri: Mama? (Looks at Yen with puppy eyes)

Yennefer: 6pm and only on weekends, summer and/or school breaks.

Ciri: Ugh! You guys are no fun (turns to Jaskier) Dad?

Jaskier: I'll let you stay out until 12 midnight, but only on no school days and with permission from Yen and Geralt.

Geralt and Yen: No!

Ciri sighed and rolled her eyes.

Ciri: Dating?

Geralt: I'll challenge him to become a bruxa bait, if he survives then he can take you out.

Ciri: (laughs) That is so mean!

Geralt: Hardly, I call it a test. If they want to date you then they have to prove to us that they're capable of protecting you.

Ciri: Aw...that's cute!

Yennefer: (Faces the camera) See everyone? Geralt is the over-the-top overprotective one

Jaskier: You're still a child cub, no need to hurry. We'll allow you when you're 18.

Geralt: 25

Ciri: What?!

Yennefer: Your father thinks you're gonna be a baby forever little witch, we all do actually but 18 is fine, though you have to remember what we always tell you about dating and relationships

Ciri: (nods) Always be mindful of the red flags...and drinking?

Yennefer: When you are of legal age and you have to be a responsible drinker

Geralt and Jaskier nod in agreement.

Ciri: Tattoos?

Geralt: I don't mind

Yennefer: Yeah it's fine, I suppose

Jaskier: (shrugs) As long as we get matching tattoos

Ciri: (chuckles) As long as I get to choose the design

Jaskier: Why? What's wrong with my choices?

Ciri: (giggles) No offense dad but your choices are too...bold

Yennefer: Terrible

Geralt: Ridiculous

Jaskier: (gasps, looking offended) excuse me?!

Ciri: Piercing?

Geralt: Fine

Yennefer: They're cute

Jaskier: Are we seriously going to ignore the fact that you called my tattoo choices 'terrible' and 'ridiculous?!'

The girl shook her head, that's pretty much their normal day as a family. She stopped recording afterwards, Geralt and Yennefer continued eating, and talked about their plans for the day (it was a Saturday). Ciri snickered while reviewing the video, and Jaskier still wouldn't stop blabbering about how cool his tattoo choices are.

Jaskier: (still offended af) You guys are just too old fashioned!

-

A/N: This dumb bitch forgot that there is another The Witcher fic in my drafts folder that was supposed to be posted before NYE. Anyway, here's a little fanfic of Geraskefer and Ciri in a modern setting.

[leastdatablebracket]

ROUND 2, MATCH 13

Propaganda under the cut!

Vyn Richter

Propaganda

hes just genuinely really manipulative and shady, like he is a walking red flag. the first time u see him in the game's dream-like prologue, its when hes taking u out of a hypnotic trance. and he says, and i quote, "that may have been a dream, but this may not be reality" WHAT?? plus the way he treats his patients (hes a psychiatrist) bothers me. to quote the wiki about a 10 year old boy, "Vyn Richter discovered after reassessment that Huey did not meet the diagnostic criteria for autism, but rather had learned to use the diagnosis as a defense mechanism to avoid social interaction." hes just gross and i wouldn't trust him with a pet fish, much less an autistic child (or myself! an autistic adult!)

Vyn IS manipulative af, but he's also overall a irresponsible doctor? It is said that he's pretty successful and apparently his methods work, but he divulges private information of his patients, especially to the MC. In his personal story Vyn allows the MC to visit one of his patients (a dancer who is very unstable and totally not up to see a random girl) who don't even know each other and with no authorization whatsoever. There's also this card's story where he exposes the MC to a violent and unstable patient. While I haven't read that story myself, I know Vyn takes a hit trying to protect the MC, the illustration being his arm with blood. iirc the MC then bandages his arm but still, why would you expose her like that? He also says he likes the MC because she doesnt feel shallow, or not like other people, which is basically giving different and new answers to his funky psychological tests. He has no reason to do that. It's not even an "i can fix him" situation bc none of these things are ever acknowledged not even as problems

Triss Merigold

Propaganda

Heavy spoilers for witcher 3: triss lies to geralt while he has amnesia so she can have him to herself, not telling him he has a wife and daughter out there somewhere. And when geralt gets his memory back at the start of 3, you can *just ignore all that*???

[underpreparedbard]

I already posted this on my AO3 but I thought tumblr might like it! I’m still relatively new to this so feedback is appreciated!

~

✨I Saw You Staring✨

~

CW: description of violence/injury

~

Description: Geralt learns a bit about Jaskier’s past, and realised he may not be the pampered rich kid he thought he was

~

The path doesn’t offer much in the way of privacy. Most of the time you’re sleeping outside after walking all day, so modesty tends to be thrown out the window pretty early on. Jaskier learnt this the hard way. Sure, he wasn’t exactly used to the life of a noble anymore, but at the very least he usually managed to fall into bed with someone who didn’t have to watch him bathe (although sometimes that was fun...).

He’d been travelling with Geralt for just under 2 weeks when his resolve finally broke.

“Geralt!” He shouted at the man riding on top of a chestnut coloured mare. “I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but I need a bath. Is there a river or something near here?”

“Finally realised there’s not many options for cleanliness out here?” Geralt smirked at him. He fucking smirked. As though he’d been waiting for this for days, which he probably had.

“You don’t have to look so smug about it, let’s just find somewhere and get it over with. I fear I’m beginning to smell like one of those monsters you hunt.”

A few minutes later, Geralt walked them over to a small clearing with a stream nearby. He dismounted and began rooting through his bags for an apple for Roach. Meanwhile Jaskier, who cared more about being clean than being stark naked in front of another man, was already beginning to strip off his clothes and fold them on the grass. Geralt began to turn away to offer the bard at least a small amount of privacy, when he saw a messy scar on the left side of the bards chest. It looked as though it was from a knife, or possibly a sword. The bard looked no older than 18, how could someone have tried to kill him already?

He was pulled out of his thoughts by Jaskier rushing into the stream and dunking under the water. He quickly shook his head and carried on feeding Roach, trying to push down the feeling of...sadness? Was that the right word? It wasn’t like he actually liked the bard. Just didn’t particularly want him to die. Or get hurt. Or lose the best years of his life travelling with a Witcher when he could be playing at courts, he was more than talented enough.

Oh fuck, Geralt liked the bard.

“Are you going to ask, then?” Jaskier called from the stream, almost making Geralt flinch.

“Ask about what?”

“My scar. I saw you staring. I’m sure you of all people are used to being asked about things like that.”

Geralt tried not to cringe at that. He was used to it, his body was littered with scars from various monsters and people he’d encountered over the years. It’s not something he’d wish on anybody.

“How did it happen? Get into a fight over a doublet?”

Jaskier huffed a laugh at that. “No, not quite. More of a family dispute, I suppose.”

Geralt watched Jaskier, indicating for him to continue.

The bard sighed, but carried on. “Jaskier isn’t my real name. My birth name is Julian Alfred Pankratz. Quite the mouthful, I know. I was also born with a title, Viscount of Lettenhove. I’m a noble, or was a noble I suppose. My title isn’t exactly mine anymore.”

The Witcher furrowed his eyebrows, wondering how one could just stop being a noble. Before he could ask, Jaskier continued his story.

“My parents were horrid people at the best of times. Filled with resentment towards me and my sisters, always trying to get us to follow in their footsteps and do things their way. I just wanted to play music, I didn’t want that responsibility or pressure.” Jaskier stopped speaking for a moment, his face turned towards the water below him as though he was trying to hide his emotion. Geralt wasn’t sure if he knew that Witcher’s could sense it, and Geralt could feel his deep sadness. He thought it best not to mention it.

“I get my love of people from my mother. She was always incredibly social, both at parties and in her bed, so I didn’t see much of her as a child. Not that I minded. But her habits made my father incredibly angry, as I’m sure you can imagine. He started to question everything she did, mostly while he was drunk, including the legitimacy of his children. I’m sure you can see where I’m going with this.”

“Hm.” Not the most articulate response, but Geralt didn’t want Jaskier to feel as though he had to stop telling his story.

“One night, after a particularly large amount of beer, my father confronted her about it while she was trying to introduce me to some Princess. No doubt trying to arrange a marriage of some sort. She was mortified, and they started screaming at eachother. Eventually she’d had enough and claimed I wasn’t his biological child in front of everyone. Needless to say he was angry and drunk and those things mixed with a knife doesn’t exactly bode well.” He gestured to his chest. “So I ran away, they disowned me, I almost died, and now I’m a bard.”

He said that last sentence in such a blasé way compared to the rest of the story that Geralt couldn’t stop the shocked expression that crept into his face.

“How old were you?” Geralt asked.

“15. So I’ve been on my own for 3 years. Until I met you.” Jaskier smiled at Geralt before ducking his head under the water to rinse his hair. The corner of Geralts mouth turned up a little at that. He felt an overwhelming urge to protect the young troubadour. Something he’d not felt before.

As he watched Jaskier walk out of the stream and begin to dress, he vowed that the man would never be alone again.

And for a long time, he wasn’t.

~

Hope you enjoyed! Have a look at my AO3 if you’re interested!

[written-prose-things]

Oh, Elusive Freedom

Summary: Jaskier finds grey hair on his head. It terrifies him and his husband for entirely different reasons. 

| AO3 |

Jaskier is obsessed. It’s isn’t something new, the bard regularly goes through phases of fancying new things he’s seen on the path. But it’s never been so closely associated with Geralt before. 

The witcher shouldn't be surprised by this really. He’s experienced this with a few people before as well. So he decides right then, that he isn’t going to spend the rest of Jaskier’s life ignoring the fact that they’re losing time. 

They’ve been camped out on the slopes of the eastern mountains for three days and Geralt is so done with it.  They’re looking for solutions to a problem that shouldn’t even be thought of as a problem.  So, Geralt gets out of their bed and starts packing up the campsite. 

Geralt senses Jaskier returning from his morning session of writing when he’s only halfway through rolling up the canvas of their tent. 

“Hey, Woah! What’s going on? I thought we were waiting for the blue elf?”

Geralt turns back to look at the bard, squinting his eyes against the early morning sunlight. Jaskier’s carrying a pheasant. He’s become a good hunter in the past decade. But that’s expected, he’s a fast learner. Geralt thinks smugly to himself after all the bard did complete studies worth four years in two. 

Geralt shakes his head, “I already told to Jas, it isn’t the blue elf. It’s the blue elk. And it died a long time ago.”

Jaskier crosses his arms over his chest and squints his eyes at Geralt, He has so many more crow’s feet around his eyes and mouth now. 

“What is your problem? Do you not want me to figure this out?”

Geralt gets up from his crouched position on the ground, “No, of course not.”

Jaskier scoffs, but Geralt can sense the betrayal that Jaskier is beginning to feel, “Of course I believe that. You’ve been dragging your feet since we began looking for a solution since the last winter. Do you want me to die? Are you bored with me? Your little human toy?!”

Jaskier is hysterical now and it hurts Geralt's ears just a little.  

He sighs. They’re already approaching the next spring. A full year. That’s how long Jaskier has spent obsessing over the fact that he’s going to die. Not as the time, he has left with Geralt, but as the time he has left to figure out how to beat this.  How to beat life itself. 

And Geralt is tired. He’s been through this before, so maybe he should try a different technique with Jas. Maybe, just maybe, the bard might see sense. 

 Geralt sighs and speaks up, “I’ve had lovers before, you know? And I-”

 Jaskier’s upon him, a little quicker and a lot more violently than usual.  “What the fuck is wrong with you?!” he yells, “I’m asking you if you want me to die and you’re telling me about your previous conquests! I’m doing this for you Geralt! I’m doing this for us! And if you’re not interested, then there’s no point to it.”

Geralt takes the punches that Jaskier’ throws at his chest and only when the bard is heaving with exhaustion does Geralt take both his hands into his own. 

“But you’re not really doing this for us, Jaskier. You’re doing this for a future us.”

 Jaskier lets out a long-suffering sigh, “What the fuck does that mean?”

 Geralt tries to gather his thoughts before speaking again, “In the past year, you’ve barely stopped to look at me. Spending our nights together is a chore for you-”

 Jaskier tries to interrupt and Geralt holds up his hand, “It doesn’t feel like there’s anything left of us. You’re wasting these years, which mind you, are not the last ones of your life. Two grey hairs don’t mean you need to look for a life elixir. But even then, suppose you spend the next years of your life looking for a cure, some fucking blue elf you hear of in the forests, a tribe of fae near some pond, the selkies at the shore, or whatever else...” 

He sighs before continuing, “ and you don’t find it. So, you won’t just be missing from my life since the day you died, instead, I wouldn’t have you in my real memories from the day you decided to leave everything else to look for this cure.”

 Jaskier looks away, “I didn’t know that.”

 Geralt clenches his jaw, “It’s happened before.”

 Jaskier looks back at him, “Oh, that’s why you were talking about your...”

 Geralt, “Yeah.”

 Jaskier nods, “So what do you think we should do now?”

 Geralt grimaces and shrugs his shoulders, “We’ll continue on the path. If we hear about something relevant to your cause, we’ll look into it.”

 Jaskier nods, “Have you heard of anything that we might find on the path?”

 Geralt nods, “I heard of a striga that’s been attacking a village on the way down this mountain.”

 Jaskier laughs, “Ah! So it is a Striga that’s caught your attention. I knew it wouldn’t be some useless beast that would have stolen my husband’s attention away from me.”

 Geralt laughs and hopes to the Gods that Jaskier doesn’t notice his blush. They’ve been together for decades now, but words of endearment never ail to catch him off-guard.

[elyccscorner]

Chapters: 54/? Fandom: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types, The Witcher (TV) Rating: Mature Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion Characters: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, Jaskier | Dandelion, minor OCs, Roach (The Witcher) Additional Tags: Pre-Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion, Hurt Jaskier | Dandelion, Hurt Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, Protective Jaskier | Dandelion, Protective Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia is Bad at Feelings, Pining, Mutual Pining, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia Has Feelings, And is starting to figure it out, Possessive Behavior, Which isn't Geralt's, crossing personal boundaries, talk about prostitution which isn't happening, Not Actually Unrequited Love, it's hard to be a bard, Angst, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia Whump, Jaskier | Dandelion Whump, Feral Jaskier | Dandelion, Non-Consensual Touching, ASD - acute stress disorder, Touch Aversion, Recovery, Panic Attacks, Nightmares, Trauma, Dissociation, Depression, Anxiety, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Roach is the Best (The Witcher), Geralt does his best, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia Uses His Words, Slow Burn Series: Part 5 of A song you know's begun Summary:

There was something ugly churning in Geralt's gut watching all those nobles flock around Jaskier. Fawning, complimenting, flirting.

Jaskier should be thriving and preening from all the attention. Instead there was something uncomfortable and pinched in his expression, skillfully masked behind playful smiles and bright laughs.

Geralt didn't want to contemplate why he, and only he, noticed the bard's wish to run.

(works also as a stand alone fic)

---

Sleeeeeeeeeeep - the best thing in the world! And Geralt has the last word, so this chapter is amazing, like always! :-)

[comfyswitcherblanketfort]

geraskier: Geralt is a hardcore gamer, like fully ranked and all that shit, Jaskier is a sweet baby who tries his best to be involved in Geralt's (very few and far between) interests. Cue Geralt following Jaskier around protecting him from being killed while Jaskier just plants flowers and pets the animals and admires the scenery of the game, basically doing all the useless things. *gaming part doesnt need to be detailed, i know nothing about gaming but someone told me they did this and i cried*

this has been sitting in my inbox for over a month I'm so sorry nonie! i just wanted to have the right vibes???? i hope you like it! 

i also know just the very basics about gaming so this is vague af lol

Warnings: none. well, swearing. but yall should expect that from me lol

________________

“Hey fuckers! Today we’re finally doing it. You bitched and moaned enough for-” Geralt paused and squinted at the chatbox on his live stream as he adjusted his headset, “No not that. I don’t get paid enough for that,” he teased, earning a ‘but if you did?????’ in the chat which he professionally ignored, “No, today I finally got my boyfriend to play with me!”

Jaskier leaned down over the back of Geralt’s chair and wrapped his arms around his chest, giving the camera a little wave, “I don’t know why you want to see this. I can’t even run in Halo. I’m terrible.”

Geralt twisted his neck to smile up at him, “It’s because you’re so cute.”

Jaskier rolled his eyes but blushed anyway, placing a kiss on Geralt’s forehead before walking around and plopping into his lap.

“Mkay we’ll start on easy, and you just follow me, okay?” Geralt asked, handing Jaskier his controller and shifting around so Jaskier was sitting with one leg over the armrest and Geralt’s arms were comfortably wrapped around his waist. 

“Oh is this the one with the gardening?” Jaskier squeaked as the title faded in with the, in his opinion, far too intense music. 

Geralt kissed his shoulder quickly, “Technically yes. You can grow what you need for potions.”

Schweatyballs264: stfu ur so fuckin cute

Mrs.ludgate: Yes darlin, gardening and muder.

Jaskier peeked over at the chat and giggled, “I leave murder up to muscles here.” he nodded to Geralt and his headset slipped off his ear, “Ah shit.”

“J it’s starting!” Geralt scolded as Jaskier set his controller down to fiddle with his headphones.

“Well protect me! I don’t know what I’m doing anyway!” he shrieked back. 

“Go left! No that’s right, dear.”

“Don’t use that tone with me!”

“What are you doing?! If you stop you’re going to get eaten!”

Jaskier snickered, “You said I could plant stuff! Oo, this one is pretty! I’ll put that on the hill over there.”

Geralt glanced at his boyfriend incredulously before guiding his character back to Jaskier’s, just in time to slash a swamp monster in half, “If you weren’t so sweet…” 

Jaskier did a little happy wiggle when the flower he was watering sprung up and bloomed with some golden sparkles. Geralt nearly missed the next swamp thing to come after them because he was too busy watching the way Jaskier’s tongue poked out between his lips while he focused. 

#1Lambchop: Eyes on the screen, hot shot. 

“Lambert what the fuck are you doing on my stream? Go back to work.” Geralt laughed, “That’s my brother, for the newbies.”

Jaskier perked up and waved at the camera, “Hi Lambert! I’m bringing tater tot casserole tomorrow, should I bring wine too?”

“Jask, what are you doing?” Geralt chuckled, moving his joystick for him to put him somewhere he could actually defend them.

Jaskier shrugged, “I was gonna text him anyway. This is just easier.” 

#1Lambchop: Good on booze. Bring that hot sauce tho

“Will do!” Jaskier chirped, “Oh fucking cock! Geralt!? How did I die?!” he turned to his boyfriend with the biggest puppy eyes to date. 

Geralt just gave him an exasperated stare. When Jaskier shook his head as if to say ‘well?’ he adjusted his boyfriend’s headset and smiled, “You weren’t paying attention, dingus.”

i8sl245knj4: for how sweet he is he’s got a mouth on him

Jaskier nodded, turning back to the screens with a determined look, “Okay I’m gonna try this time. I promise.” 

Geralt chuckled and shook his head, “Sure you are…” 

[pillage-and-lute]

If you're still open to prompts or ideas what about Geralt with curly hair, not wavy I'm talking full curls that only get worse near the ends. (Badly) Straightening it so it's easier tie up and ignore feels like a Geralt thing to do but the one time he forgets Jaskier can't get over how it looks. Also fuck all those mean asks you've been getting I vibe with your schedule and fics, being patient with expectation is part of the fun and if anybody says different they're wrong

Hi Anon!

This is cute af.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Geralt hadn’t realized that moving in with Jaskier would mean so little privacy.

Sure, the apartment was tiny and Jaskier was so casually absentminded it meant him drifting between rooms like a musical ghost. But somehow Geralt hadn’t expected it. 

Really most of the time it wasn’t even bad, and Jaskier knew when Geralt really needed space. But still...

“Geralt,” Jaskier said through the door. “Are you on the toilet or in the shower?”

“Uh, no?”

“Can you let me in? I tried this face mask but it feels like it’s burning.”

Geralt sighed and opened the bathroom door. 

Jaskier’s experiments with skin care, specifically face masks were often amusing, sometimes tasty (the cocoa and oatmeal homemade one), and sometimes disastrous. Jaskier was apparently slightly allergic to a large number of perfumes and dyes. At least once a month some cheap, two dollar facemask turned his face shiny and pink. He never gave them up though, keeping instead a careful list of the bad ones. 

He’d convinced Geralt to try a couple, thankfully picking less vibrant colors, and they were rather nice.

This time, however, Jaskier bustled in gratefully and began to desperately scrub something obnoxiously purple off his face. 

“I could feel it start to sting,” Jaskier said around the frantic face splashing. “It sounded so nice, lavender and peony with ‘calming cooling cucumber’.” Jaskier used his advertisement voice for the last part. It was a good voice, and it made him a fair amount of money, the only reason they could afford their apartment. Two grad students in a big city would generally be sharing a bedroom the side of a matchbox by now, and Geralt’s various bartending and bouncer jobs didn’t pick up that much money. 

“How do I look?”

Jaskier had surfaced, face only slightly chemical-pink, with a hint of purple goop by his ear. Geralt removed it absentmindedly.

“How do you look?! Geralt, your hair is curly!”

“Yes?”

Did Jaskier really not know? He always straightened it, sure, it was just easier that way, but had Jaskier never seen....? Apparently not, because he was hurriedly unplugging Geralt’s straightener.

“Why would you hide this? Geralt it’s beautiful!” Jaskier was running his hands through the curls, short nails scratching nicely along his scalp. 

“Oh but it could use a little work too,” Jaskier said, lifting a frizzy strand. “Dear heart it’s damaged all to hell, do you even use heat protectant spray?”

Heat protectant spray?

Jaskier snorted, although Geralt had said nothing aloud, his face must have said it all. Jaskier placed both hands on Geralt’s shoulders and sat him firmly down on top of the toilet lid. 

“Stay,” he said. Then he disappeared.

Geralt huffed. Roach, the grumpy tabby he’d found behind a dumpster one night when he was moonlighting as a bouncer leapt up onto the counter and stared down at him judgmentally. He rolled his eyes at her. She blinked back at him, slowly.

You like when he fusses over you. He imagined her saying. It was the way cats look at you, like they know all about you and are actually staring straight through you. 

I do not. He thought for her benefit. 

She blinked at him again, quite judgmentally, then stood and turned a tight circle on the corner of the sink. She sat down again facing directly away from him, very clearly giving him a cold shoulder. Lie to yourself all you like.

Jaskier bustled back in with an armful of...stuff. “I don’t have all the things I’d really need for your hair of course,” he was saying. “There’s a little bit of wave to my hair, sure, but I don’t have full curls like you.”

Jaskier climbed up onto the counter corner, moving Roach gently to the floor. “Hello pretty girl.” He set his knees around Geralt, and began to pour something into his hand. 

Geralt sniffed. “Is that sandalwood?”

“Very good, it’s a hair cream, good for restoring, I texted Triss and it should be okay for your hair.” He massaged it into Geralt’s head with strange scrunching motions that caught all of Geralt’s curls. 

He’d rarely really thought of them as curls. He knew that’s what his hair was, of course, but he always straightened it and he had a three-in-one shampoo conditioner and body wash, which had been the cause of a conniption fit when Jaskier had first moved in. 

Whatever Jaskier was doing felt good, though. Like a scalp massage.

“Mrrrhp.” said Roach. It sounded smug.

“Okay,” Jaskier said. “I’m gonna scrunch your hair with this.” He waved a washcloth. “To remove a little of the product and,” he checked his phone. “Define the curl.”

Jaskier set about playing with Geralt’s hair. He knew that wasn’t what the man was doing, but it felt like it. When Jaskier finally put down the washcloth he gave Geralt a quick spritz of something.

“Okay, I think I did it, take a look.”

Geralt was reluctant to stand from where he’d been bracketed by Jaskier’s knees, but he went to the mirror.

“It looks kind of...”

Weird. It looked weird. Geralt never just wore his curls and these weren’t even the horrible mess of having just woke up. They were actual curls.

“Sissy,” he said. 

“Oh,” Jaskier looked put out. “I think they look very nice.”

Sitting on the edge of the tub, Roach blinked at Geralt judgementally. 

“I’m not used to it,” Geralt said, tugging at a curl, which bounced. “But I guess it does look...nice.”

“I have an idea,” Jaskier said. He took a little packet of bobby pins that Geralt thought he recognized from the last time Yen had been over. There was some twisting and in the mirror he couldn’t really see what was going on. A couple little digs into his scalp and then...

“Voila,” Jaskier said. 

It was a bun.

A man bun. 

Except, man bun implied tiny and sort of inconsequential. This was quite a lot of hair and the curls looked good, adding texture.

It looked manly, for sure, but it felt secure. Geralt bobbled his head a little to check.

“I like it,” he said.

Jaskier beamed.

From the tub’s edge, Roach “mmmphrp”-ed approvingly.

[ao3feed-geralt-jaskier]

by Evanora

“Ciri! Please, tell me whats wrong.”

“Geralt. Those eyes, those cornflower blue eyes they were livid, evil- oh! Geralt! Who’s Jaskier?” ————- After the mountain incident, Jaskier returned to Lettenhove to finally embrace what he thought was his destiny, and become a viscount. A couple of months after Cintra’s fall, their carriage gets ambushed and Jaskier is the only survivor.

Lone in this world, and haunted by a mysterious power, Jaskier has to survive meanwhile being hunted. No where to hide, no where to go, the vulnerable man found himself locked away under the clutches of a king that promises to help with Jaskier’s magical problem only if the bard does anything the king commands him to.

Will the bard be back under the protection of Geralt or will he finally learn to survive by himself? Luckily, Destiny has a surprise for Jaskier that may just help motivate him.

Aka: Jaskier suffers for the world’s expense and for Destiny’s pleasure.

Words: 2087, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English

Fandoms: Wiedźmin | The Witcher (Video Game), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types, Wiedźmin | The Witcher Series - Andrzej Sapkowski, The Witcher (TV)

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con

Categories: F/M, M/M

Characters: Jaskier | Dandelion, Jaskier | Dandelion's Mother, Jaskier | Dandelion's Siblings, Jaskier | Dandelion's Father, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, Yennefer z Vengerbergu | Yennefer of Vengerberg, Original Characters, Roach (The Witcher), Cirilla Fiona Elen Riannon, Priscilla (The Witcher)

Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia & Jaskier | Dandelion, Jaskier | Dandelion & Yennefer z Vengerbergu | Yennefer of Vengerberg, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Yennefer z Vengerbergu | Yennefer of Vengerberg, Jaskier | Dandelion/Priscilla, Jaskier | Dandelion/Original Male Character(s), Cirilla Fiona Elen Riannon & Jaskier | Dandelion, Cirilla Fiona Elen Riannon & Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia

Additional Tags: Torture, Implied/Referenced Torture, Aftermath of Torture, Rape/Non-con Elements, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Jaskier | Dandelion Whump, Hurt Jaskier | Dandelion, Dark, Dark Jaskier | Dandelion, BAMF Jaskier | Dandelion, Immortal Jaskier | Dandelion, this is sad af guys, starts of happy turns dark fast, tw, Angst, Demons, Jaskier | Dandelion & Yennefer z Vengerbergu | Yennefer of Vengerberg Friendship, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia Has Feelings, Jaskier | Dandelion & Roach Friendship, Body Horror, angst no comfort, Sad Ending, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, Tragedy, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Imprisonment, Sadism, Unplanned Pregnancy

[jaskiersvalley]

I'm in ur inbox solely for purposes of crying about the latest shifter au installment, holy shit it's so good!!!!!! I love the narrative style and how soft everyone is, whilst still also being protective af!!! Lambert's cone of shame was the funniest thing ever lmaoooo In short I would die for you thank you have a good day

Please don’t die! Nobody is worth dying for. (I know you meant it in a very nice way but I much prefer people living - especially if they are friend shaped!) While you’ve got the shifter au on your mind, may I offer you a little bonus as thanks for your super sweet message?

Part 1, Part 2 and Part 3.

With their secret out, Jaskier found that he was having to fight for the limelight when out and about with his wolves. He encountered not just his own fanbase but the steadily growing numbers of those who dubbed themselves The Wolf Pack. It was both nice to know that his wolves were so popular but also infuriating because they were Jaskier’s wolves, he adopted them first. Things only got worse as more details filtered out about how they met, sleeping on the streets and helping each other out.

“Aren’t you frustrated that you can’t keep up with them?” A voice, silky and soft whispered from by Jaskier’s shoulder in a coffee shop. “I could help you with that.”

“Not interested,” Jaskier growled. For once, he was without his wolves because he had only wanted a coffee and if they went out together, they would get mobbed. The shop was only down the road anyway.

A business card was thrust towards him. “Call me when you change your mind. We can discuss payment then too.”

The problem was, the idea lingered. Jaskier never did see himself as much of a wolf, he lacked the regal majesty of one. Plus he was much more vibrant. Knowing his luck, he would get turned into a cockatoo. At least he could still appreciate music in that form, headbanging along to decent tunes. But that was beside the point. He threw the card down onto the table and ignored it until Geralt picked it up.

“What’s this?” he asked, frowning at the simple design. The other wolves, as if summoned by his unease, crowded in.

“Some creep wanted to help me “keep up” with you lot. I told him where to shove it. Seemed like a weird old man.”

Vesemir looked the most troubled. “Stregebor is bad news. If you want something, I would suggest Vilgefortz. A much more honest sorcerer.”

It was the first time Jaskier even entertained to notion. He would have loved to be able to keep up with his wolves who seemed to never run out of energy. So he asked Vesemir to set up an appointment.

“How much will this cost me?” he asked, sat opposite the sorcerer.

“It’s not an issue of money. It’s about sacrifice.” Vilgerfortz was looking at him seriously. Outside, the four wolves shifted nervously, wanting to barge in but the privacy spell was keeping them at bay.

Jaskier nodded and thought about what he had to offer. “My singing? My career? Looks? I mean, I’d look rather dashing with a facial scar and at least I’d truly be part of the pack then.”

That drew a laugh from Vilgefortz and he shook his head. “Shifters are dangerous. If they ever had children, they would be unpredictable, maybe even beastly. Even if you’re not a wolf, whatever your inner animal, even if it is a sweet, fluffy moth, you will be infertile.”

It was Jaskier’s turn to laugh. “Take it. I don’t think Geralt ever was the type I could impregnate, even before his mutations.”

In a way, Jaskier couldn’t believe that the price of keeping up was that. He had been prepared to give up fame and fortune for his wolves and now he was being asked for something he never wanted in the first place.

The potions tasted vile and Vilgefortz’s spells grated on his ears but Jaskier weathered it. There was no dramatic wind, no lightning, no quaking of the earth as the spell took hold. At most, it tickled Jaskier’s bones as he felt something shift in him. It was like there was a part of him that had been locked away until that very moment. He certainly didn’t feel like a fluffy moth.

“Concentrate, let your new form come forward.”

The world twisted in the blink of an eye. Everything looked bigger and Jaskier looked down at sandy coloured paws and the swish of a thick, bushy tail. He barked in excitement which settled into an odd purr.

Behind him, the doors opened and four wolves pushed in, curious and worried. They stared down at Jaskier, blinking dumbly until Geralt stepped forward and gave his new form a delicate sniff. The excitement was too much and Jaskier launched himself, trying to play with Geralt before running away, making loops of the room. It was Lambert who first joined in with the chase, heedless of pushing tables over as he chased Jaskier. After two laps, Vesemir stood on two legs next to Vilgefortz and watched the three idiot wolves chasing a fennec fox, nipping and tumbling as if they were young pups.

Once the whole room was a mess, Jaskier stopped by their feet, knowing he was safe from being bowled over in their vicinty.

“How about trying to shift back?” Vesemir asked. There was a knowing smirk on his lips.

Concentrating, Jaskier almost toppled over at the sudden shift and he had a new appreciation for how effortless the others made it look. A snicker from behind him had him twirling. Three pairs of yellow, human eyes were fixed on the top of his head. Reaching up, he patted around and found two large ears nestled in his hair and the bushy tail swished behind him.

“It’s okay, it takes a little while,” Vesemir reassured him. “Geralt had his ears and tail for a good three weeks before he learned to shift fully.”

Lambert reached up to tug at the ears. “They suit you, foxy,” he teased. Immediately, Jaskier was shifting back and jumping at him, barking in excitement as Lambert took on his wolf form once again and the game was back on.

[seb-owns-these-tatas]

Witcher Of The Night (Chapter 3)

THIS IS MODERN ERA READER WHO WOKE UP IN THE DIMENSION OF THE WITCHER.

CHAPTER 2

Characters: Geralt of Rivia x small!Naive!Reader

Summary: Y/N seem to have woken up with a panic attack and with questions inside her head about on how she would come back to her world. Geralt may have said a solution to it, but it was rather difficult to achieve. Furthermore, it seems as if there was another thing difficult to attain as well which leaves him upset and frustrated with everything. No matter how you were out of place in Geralt's family, you couldn't help but still feel that peculiar warmth you wanted to feel forever.

Warnings: No modern references in this one except for fried chicken. Story title insertion! *wink wink nudge nudge* A lot of Jaskier, Geralt and Ciri banters and a soft but kinda rough Geralt in this one because of certain circumstances. THERE'S TENSION IF Y'ALL BE FEELING IT. AHONHONHON. Mention of Yennefer of Vengerberg in this one. Also explanation of portals and mention of potions used in the game. A lot of talking, less action. You’ll get your action and ANGST on the next chapterSSSSS! 

Words: 6,570+ (LONGGGGGGG AF! I WAS SHOOKTH!)

A/N: Reader is between 5'1 or 5'. You can imagine a 4'11 one if you want to! I JUST REALIZED...HOW...SHE'LL....THEY'LL....ALRIGHT, GET WRECKED, READER! 😅🤣🤣 

TAGLIST IS STILL OPEN FOR THIS ONE! Heehee! Don’t forget to REBLOG, COMMENT OR GIVE FEEDBACK IF YOU DID LOVE THIS CHAPTER! IT’LL MAKE ME SMILE!

Taglist: @alyxkbrl​ @himarisolace​ @barkingbullfrog​ @ayamenimthiriel​ @hellodevilslittlesister​ @vania-marie​ @spookypeachx​ @grungelovebug​ @fangirl-inthe-us​ @nympeth​ @missjenniferb  (I couldn’t tag you bud! A different blog was popping out of the recommendation and it wasn’t your blog. Though, I’ll try again on the next update! Don’t worry!) @amirahiddleston​ @gabethelobster​ @dreaming-about-starfleet​ @uncoolcloudyhead @melaninstylezz​ 

Disclaimer: PNG's used in edits are not mine even the GIF's too. However, the edits and oneshots are definitely from moi. Characters, places and said monsters aren't from moi as well. I’ve taken it from the games.

MY WORKS ARE NOT NOT NOT NOT NOOOOOOT TO BE POSTED ON ANY OTHER WEBSITES. My official username in Wattpad is “TATATHEPOTATO” and that’s the only other site I have for writing aside from Tumblr. Thank you, Tater tots!

The sun's rays cascaded on your face. Smell of burned out Oak wood whiffed through the air and filled your senses as faded voices suddenly become apparent for no reason, or probably a reason for you to wake up from your uncomfortable sleeping position.

Was it the TV? You thought to yourself, scrunching your nose from the sun that hit your face and merely from the dust that was flying all over the place. As much as you've remembered, cleaning has been your habit at home and having a dirty apartment was unfamiliar.

The rays of the sun was suddenly hidden from a body who had to lean down to take a good look at your face. You've hardly squinted your eye to blur out the television in the background, shifting your head around and leaning fully on your forehead instead to avoid your cat named Jafar from sniffing your face.

"Princess Cirilla," Geralt deeply groused, his grim seeming to be felt by how brooding he had to put up; inches away from Jaskier and Cirilla who were close to you and around the table, watching you sleep like a baby.

The light blonde princess who had bright ocean blue eyes demanded with a soft kick to the ground, "But, Geralt!" she bellowed with a huff, "I wanna be her friend! You lads aren't fun to be with!"

"She won't stay long, Cirilla. She isn't from our world," Geralt droned and felt the enervation of not having his sleep last night. You were weeping like a toddler all night and his heightened senses weren't helping himself when he could hear those snuffles echoing as he shifted and turned all over on his side of the bed.

It was beyond terrible and utmost irksome.

His initial thought was to help a screaming lady sprinting in the middle of the woods and shoo her off when he's done killing the creature hunting her down. He didn't expect for her to live with them after he did so' just like how Ciri eventually landed on his hands for him to take care of. Amazingly, the adoption he had consist of an explanation, a royal offer from the kingdom of Cintra that involves the Law Of Surprise unlike with you; there was none. Not even a justification as to why you were there with them.

Saving Y/N didn't mean another adoption was up to claim and for him to protect with all his life.

Jaskier sat on the wooden chair in front of you as he deliberated and tried to understand your situation in his own creative wits, "You mean a Teleporter?"

Geralt shook his head, eyes narrowing as he looked at you from the side; assessing your whole ordeal and trying to get a gist of magic in your veins, "No, Jaskier." Howbeit, he'd felt none and it was frustrating the Witcher, "---She doesn't possess magic, I can sense it."

The bard shrugged and disregarded his opinions, giving Geralt a once over before focusing on your hair; momentarily plucking out a small leaf out of your hair which erupted a cock of Geralt's head as he watched Jaskier having no fraught from touching you.

"You know that senses of yours aren't exactly a hundred percent accurate when you've got kicked by a Kikimore and bitten by Ghouls,"

His expression was stoic, glowering before them both and especially from Jaskier's comment. Cirilla had her delicate fingers clasp together and over the side of her face as she admired your sleeping face, "She's so adorable while she sleeps!" she continued to cajole, "---Even a little shorter than me! Maybe she's my age and we can play!"

"She isn't," Geralt ceased her admiration and shook his head, beautiful gold eyes staring at your face that shifted and was now face front as to where he stood from afar, "How certain are you about that? You've only met her last night!"

Jaskier had his fist on his chin, deliberately looking at Geralt with that knowing look.

The Witcher lowly hummed in ponder. Focal point on your sleeping face with a stoic expression, trying to distinguish your length of life from the moment you were born, "Y/N must be in between the age of twenty to twenty-five,"

Cirilla had her eyebrows in a twist as she moved around to take a closer look at you again, a frown from the information that has been said, "But, she looks younger than her age!"

"Not at least in between ninety? or exactly a hundred? Like you, Geralt?" Jaskier added to the dispute. His query making Geralt sigh because he has been repeating the idea like a slow idiot.

"She doesn't possess some sorts of magic nor is she mutated, Bard."

"Maybe she possesses the power of immortality!"

He glared at the bard who gave him a shrug, Jaskier's face still dead beat from how his nap has been ruined prior to the night, but he had more sleep than Geralt did considering he wasn't a Witcher and had senses that not any normal human may possess.

"So her name is Y/N?! Why didn't you wake me up to welcome our visitor?!" The girl in a mint green Kirtle exclaimed, their voices finally coming to your senses and realizing that it wasn't your television nor was it your cat's breath on your face. You whimpered in an attempt to wake yourself up; yawning in the process and languidly bringing your head up for it to be bent at an angle with your arm on the table and fist on your temple.

"You were sleeping," Geralt began, resolving her dismay at the situation at hand, "--and there was a beast, Princess. It was hunting her down,"

"Oh, poor Y/N," Cirilla frowned a tighter one, eyeing you down and peeking from under your arm as she noticed the bruises on your face. She took a second before straightening her back, the braid she'd fixed never turning higgley-piggledy because of how tight and proper it was. A look of interest sent to the Witcher by the princess of Cintra herself and now the future queen ahead, "But, did you kill it, Geralt?"

Their voices seem to be recognizable, the two men of some sort and the kid's voice completely unfamiliar for you. Repetitive blinks full of fatigue before having the energy to sleepily place your chin on your fist, a blurry image of a youthful, lean body and a pretty face of a man sitting in front you coming clearer as you blinked again.

"Isn't it such a sight to wake up to your bruising face early in the morning, small rat."

Your face turned into a tight frown at the image sitting before you. The pillow of your lip jutting out in a pout when you've scanned the whole place and saw Geralt standing with a stern expression on his face, behind a kid who looked taller than you and extremely pretty.

The house even looked more old and primitive in the morning like you're currently living in history which made you groan to yourself because you haven't teleported back to your home as Jaskier said last night.

Great. Just great. You thought in the back of your mind before grumbling, "Can you...stab me with your sword right now?"

The question was sent to the Witcher despite of staring fully on the table. You didn't hear an answer from him as per usual and felt your anxiety rising through your head in agitation like a lighter sparking the gas. It's travelling too fast that you haven't realized the panic shooting wildly.

"I'm still here," you bawled, "I'm still here," and repeated over and over like a dinosaur jumping on rocks whenever google doesn't have internet. The panic was beginning to boil, making your fingers tremble in apprehension as you've struggled to keep in place on your seat, your feet on the ground shaking from the worry. Both hands gripping on your roots as you began to bawl out because you couldn't scream out all your frustrations because that's not how you roll, "I've already slept, I thought I'll be waking up in my apartment already,"

Cirilla took a step back when you've started crying, looking over at Geralt to ask what was happening. Both men together were contemplating as to what was happening as the Bard reluctantly and very slowly stood up as his gaze was fixated on you who kept on mumbling in whispers. He ran behind Geralt like you were a possessed woman and actually thinking you were casting a spell because of how fast you were mumbling your feelings out loud, sounding incomprehensible to the ears of everyone except for Geralt.

Jaskier stood behind Geralt like a kitten shielding behind his mother, "Geralt! I told you! She's a sorceress! One like Yennefer! This is probably why you're fond of her!"

Cirilla examined your state and tried understanding what was happening, her nerves also unsettling about the fact that maybe you were possessed by black magic. Though, she doubt it because you should've attacked everyone already.

Hence, there you were in your own seat. Bawling your eyes out like a toddler who had been left by her parents.

"Geralt? Is she okay?" the pretty child questioned Geralt who stood behind her with a distant look on his face.

His eyes narrowed on you, continuing his perusal. He was trying to fathom what was running inside those mind of yours and when a tear fell and another sniff coming from your side of the cavern, he knew it. A slight turn of his head and his silent thoughts of understanding as he had seen you freaking out and crying like last night; he knew what was happening.

"She's...panicking. Utterly harmless, Jaskier. Just like how humans do unless you aren't actually one," Geralt nonchalantly informed the bard who was hiding behind his towering form. He watched you roughly wipe your tears with the back of your clothed hand; his sweater that was awfully big for you and continued to rant while he narrowed his eyes as your focus was now on the knife set on an empty soiled plate that Jaskier has left.

"I just wanna go home!"

His forehead creased to the extent of trying to figure you out. Shoulders slumping as he breathed out a ragged curse beneath his breath to further his dissatisfaction of your next move.

"Y/N!"

You were fast enough to grab onto the sharpened knife, aiming it to the sensitive portion of your neck. However, not fast enough for the Witcher to even let it happen.

The knife in your hand wasn't even lifted halfway for Geralt to know what you were going to do. He'd seen a lot of bloodshed and known enough people who wanted for their blood to drop out of their hands. It only took two steps for him to construct his onslaught before you've even tried to slit your throat before them.

Your choice of weapon has been sheathed away from you. The tall, brooding, brawny Witcher slightly bending you on the table as he pulled the knife away from your neck with just a grip that didn't even earned him a sweat. It was like taking candy from a baby. Yet, you were pretty much struggling a lot from his strength as you tried wrenching your wrist off his hold with Geralt hunching down before you and never letting go.

Those gold eyes were a charm against the rays of the sun cascading his face. Your faces close from each other and you can see the chagrin and fury swirling in his eyes rather than those plain, apathetic glimmer set in his eyes with a warmth you couldn't express. With that only being seen and stared at, you knew he was furious.

The scary witcher was losing his temper.

"Let me go, Geralt." you firmly stated, voice wavering and sounding small like you were being hunted by a cheetah. Geralt held his scowl better than he had to when he has seen you the first time and it wasn't faltering.

You tried wrenching your wrist away from the Witcher, but he pulled it back with no remorse. Keeping you in place as he seethed; Aurum eyes momentarily taking a glimpse of your dry, chapped lips that were inches apart before settling those peepers on yours again and he wanted to groan out loud for the unsettling emotion he was having, "I would like to see you try, Midget."

Geralt held your wrist tighter around his fingers because you were moving, though; the simple action was enough for you to stop and never even think about doing it again. The strength that he was using was not enough to inflict pain. "I don't need another person's blood on my hands,"

Some of his dirt-ivory colored hair fell on his face as he continued to fume. Expression thoroughly livid as he said those words like it was burnt till dust, a history that should've been left forgotten but was now relived because of your forsaken act.

His warm breath hit your face and you couldn't move at all, like you were powerless and utter putty in his hands. You've heard a grumble vibrated out of his chest before snatching the knife off your fingers and quickly retreating from his position with a frustrated hum, leaving you exhaling out a breath you didn't know you were holding since he has grabbed onto you.

"Wha-what if dying is the only way to bring me back," you've tried to keep yourself in tact despite of the fast beating of your heart and the anomalous heat travelling all over your body. You shook the feeling off with a shake of your head as you continued; looking at Jaskier and Cirilla, avoiding the presence of the man who has been playing with your mind and human heart, "---I've slept, tried everything and still woke up in your house,"

The declaration sounded weak; completely despairing as you've seen Geralt saunter back to where he has been standing before you even tried to slit yourself alive. A tight moue that twisted his features from the act that has happened; filling utter disappointment as the rough crease of his wrinkles wanted to say.

But, he chose to stay silent rather than let out those emotions he was battling with.

You were completely an unorthodox to him. A picture he couldn't see and never wanted to even touch but hoped to imagine.

"I can feel you, I can touch everyone, I can feel sadness, despair, happiness, pain and a lot more," he felt your eyes on him as the first word has been said before reluctantly sharing gazes at the other two who were breathing when you've continued your articulation.

Nevertheless, the act that has happened made Jaskier and Cirilla's breaths hitch because they couldn't believe that it just happened in front of them like it was nothing.

It looked like Geralt has handled the situation well and you were suddenly okay. Just like that. A peculiarity of an event that they couldn't understand.

You've straightened your back and held your hopes high, dubiously taking a trek till you were in front of the people who were nice enough to give you shelter despite of not knowing you from the start; with a goodwill to even save you from an Alghoul that appeared out of nowhere when you should've died already when Geralt wouldn't have jumped into the picture.

But, no. You were still alive and you didn't know if it was a good thing or a bad thing as the protection came with a fair trade to be living in the world that they were in. A world where you still believed was in earth because of how human they appeared and felt. The only fragment that could keep you in doubt was the monsters that emerges out of nowhere and the magic that these people have been saying. A magic that can't be seen with the naked eye because you haven't seen a supernatural phenomenon yet.

Geralt gave a gravelly hum once you've settled your short self before him, the height differences apparent to the perspective of people. Geralt had his Herculean body in an assertive stance, broad-shoulders poised as you peered up at him with forlorn, the upset frown etched upon your face and he couldn't help but breath through his nose to compose himself.

"I need to go back, I gotta go back. Aren't you a witcher? Can't you cast a spell and help me?"

Jaskier and Cirilla had their forehead creased as they stared at the two. The beautiful child completely unaware of where you originated. She was deep in thought, thinking you came from any of the kingdom or if you were mutated as well just like Geralt because as been said by the witcher, you didn't belong in their world.

The man with glowing Aurum eyes sighed, "Witchers..don't work that way," he claimed with a slant of his head, eyeing you with gall and a slight pacified demeanor after losing his patience a while ago, "---I slaughter beasts, not brew the Fillet of a fenny snake with an eye of a newt nor cast a spell while mixing tons of shit in a cauldron like you thought I was,"

His disclosure was enough to make your heart fail from having faith again. It seems like every darn time he opens those luscious damn lips of him leaves you in a crestfallen shape or he just seems like the type to not give you hope with positive things like this which is why he was failing no matter if he wanted to give comfort.

You've washed your face with your hands in frustration, the fear rising for the second time this day and felt Geralt's heated stare on you, eyes shining in baffling fascination no matter how phlegmatic he wanted to appear. You can just see it in his eyes and it was odd because you've remembered how you couldn't read him like a book the night before, yet here you were; understanding how he tries to interact with you.  

"Then, who can help me? Is there a portal or some sort?"

His eyes looked away for a moment; deeply dwelling a thought inside his head. "Sorcerers create portals of natural phenomena and places that actually exist," the Witcher began roughly, voice utmost in the lowest timbre he could ever do and it almost made your body vibrate from his pitch, "---However, most sorcerers can only link portals to the world they're familiar with and that occurs in having the same witchcraft that a certain world creates," Geralt landed his bright eyes on you as he continued to ponder. An inevitable glower stamping his face as he went on with more information and a tight grimace, "---we aren't exactly certain about your world. But, the contingencies of casting a portal that should've been left untouched can cause upheaval or chaos not just to both worlds, but to the natural habitat and the future as well,"

Your frown was cut short, changing into an ample amount of confusion because of his explanation. Simply to say, the chances of creating a portal will jeopardize not just their world, but also earth as well. If you'll be wanting to cast a portal, there was a great amount of risk ahead.

Geralt continued his vouch, still engrossed at looking you in the eye like he wanted you to melt into a puddle. Your traitor of a heart skipping a beat as you've avoided his eyes and looked elsewhere, "---Which definitely leaves insignificance as to why you're lost in our world when there was no witchery encompassing that earth you call your kingdom,"

"So, there's no hope then?" you pointed out, sapless.

"It takes risks, Midget." Geralt lowly enunciated, the gravel in his voice seeming coherent as he mentioned the nickname he calls you. He looked to the ground, mind wandering off Wonderland as a scowl began to form again, like the next thing he wanted to say should've been kept and not mentioned ever again, "---And a very powerful sorcerer,"

Jaskier's ears perked at that, speculating and trying to involve himself with the topic at hand, his tongue waiting to be moved and for words to be told for reiteration, "Or sorceress," the bard boasted with a tone that made the witcher hiss back at him with contempt.

"Yennefer of Vengerberg could do the job well or some of her associates," the bard jested with a soft push of his elbow to Geralt's ribs, though it didn't even made him flinch. His nose flared back at him, giving him the stink eye before cussing him beneath his breath.

"Fuck off, Bard."

Cirilla ignored their laser eyes and tried to join in the conversation, "Who is Yennefer? I've been asking this since the last two last years!" she pondered, hesitantly raising her hand as if asking the teacher if it was time for her to spit out questions.

"Someone you shouldn't know, Cirilla,"

So, there was really hope. Even only a fourty-five percent of that aspiration you needed for your heart to be filled with faith. You nodded to yourself in understanding, leaving those other questions inside your head and asked straight to the point, "Who is Yennefer?"

Jaskier stepped a foot close, officially involving himself in the conversation with a smug grin on his face. His hands on his hips as he revealed with no shame, "Geralt's long lost love,"

Geralt had to close his eyes to calm himself down from the bard who kept on interjecting in the talk with you.

The princess of Cintra huffed, stomping a foot on the ground as she fixated her gaze at the huge trunk of a man who seemed to be having a moment of meditation, "You didn't tell me you had a lover!"

"Not anymore," Geralt grumbled more so to himself as the crowd asked questions after questions and served their opinions on a buffet plate; open for everyone to hear.

You innocently cast a look to his face. He could also feel your eyes on him and when he'd fluttered them open; it was completely pure for his irksome heart to fall in tranquil, "She's the one of the most powerful sorceress I know," he subtly breathed in your scent, masking himself with it as he tries to remember it in the back of his mind. Becoming familiar to the strong scent that makes his thoughts go in a haywire. A sharp, palpable and fresh scent that he ought and needed to ingurgitate straightaway. Lemon with a hint of peony; definitely different from the scent that Yennefer had, Lilac and Gooseberries. "---Maybe the only one who could create an enigma of a portal," the witcher more so than grumbled, face twisting in a way that made you look up at him in question because he seemed to be in pain, "Then? What are we waiting for? We should find her!"

The mere mention of a person who could help you leave their world quickly placed a warm beam lifting your lips, a sight that Geralt has been struggling to forget since last night. His eyes wandered off elsewhere, missing the catch of your bright filled ones as his nose scrunched from how overwhelming it was to be close to you.

"That's the problem," he gurgled before taking a step back, hissing beneath his breath because of how he was starting to become frustrated again, "---she's nowhere to be found," before turning his back away from you with a grumble.

You watched him walk away from you, embracing all his negativity and feeling your heart plummet because he was acting far from the welcoming man last night. It was like it has never been him that was offering to cover your wounds as he knelt in front of you, all the more; giving you a small smile despite of it not being his forte in doing so.

He was unconventional to you. A book you've definitely wanted to read, yet difficult to understand because the words were such a complex for the naked eye. Geralt was rare and a kind you've never encountered. Literally.

Nonetheless, his presence was intriguing and definitely inveigling.

"I have no hope then," you've thought to yourself, hearing Cirilla and Jaskier banter over something about the sorceress that ignited Geralt's change of heart.

"I'm hungry," Cirilla stressed towards the Bard who was now holding his Lute and plucking with the strings like he was forming another one of his epics inside his head. The bard ignored her and gave Geralt a once over who was on the other end of the cavern, opening wooden cabinets which had all different kinds of concoctions that certainly a normal human cannot take because of how toxic it was and how it was only forbidden and restricted for Witchers.

Cirilla threw a hissy fit, blowing out a breath of agitation and hunger because she was famished. You studied the child and noticed she was a little taller than you no matter how she should've been small. As you've tried to eye-ball her height, she seems to be in between five foot four or five foot three. "What's your name, kid?"

She narrowed her eyes on Jaskier who began to tread to where the Witcher is, "Cirilla," the princess honestly voiced out, palm on her stomach as it grumbled a sound that says she was starving so much.

Cirilla turned her heel to look at you, better than having Geralt stand before you because he was giving you stiff neck from being a tall, brooding man. She eyed you in question and you gave her a sincere smile, waggling your brows at the princess, "I can make food if you want?"

Princess Cirilla jumped on her feet like a child being given candy, clapping her hands in excitement, "Great! A mother figure other than a pair of boys! Geralt and Jaskier make the nastiest food they can ever cook," she jeered with a puff of her breath. Her eyes twinkled in felicity.

She gave you a big wide grin when you've pondered in thought as to what was easy to make in  medieval age; questions numbered inside your head and asking no one in particular if their world had chicken? flour? or bread flour, if they didn't have one? Condiments or any kind of spices for taste. Their time had to have chickens and so, you wanted a modern kind of dish to help yourself as well despite of living like in the past, "I can make you fried chicken, if you want? That is, if you can get me chicken,"

"What is a fried chicken?" she'll definitely love it, you thought because she was a child. Seeing her smile go bright just from hearing it made you heart coo; or it was simply a new image rather than those scowls you have been seeing since the morning has started so the kid had a soft spot in your heart. "An unhealthy dish, but definitely scrumptious,"

You turned your head towards the men who were a little bit far from where you both stood, they were talking in silence and that was completely pristine than the banters you've heard non-stop last night, "---And also a healthy viand for these boys you have,"

Jaskier continued plucking on his Lute, strumming random notes as he hummed inside his head, he gave you and Cirilla a glimpse as the bard watched you both interact with each other like you were both long lost friends, like a natural bond slowly being created, "Maybe this cuckoo of a maiden isn't actually bad to have around," he decreed with a look of sympathy. Turning his head to look at Geralt who seemed to have a furious staring contest with his potions.

"---You should help her, Geralt."

The Witcher languidly blinked, partially shutting the wooden cabinet closed and noting that he was deficient of Cat elixir, a concoction to help him grant sight in total darkness, some Black Blood and Fiend concoction that helps him increases the amount of weight that he can carry without being overburdened. Geralt sighed at Jaskier's confession.

"Do I have a choice?" he gurgled back at the bard.

"Won't a djinn help?"

Geralt gave Jaskier a once over before taking a glimpse of you and Ciri who were now sitting on the table, chatting about certain things that can entertain the princess. Jaskier finally had the tune he wanted, a simple catchy tune but different from his song about Witchers. It just had the same style, "I've already took it down into consideration," the bard hummed, completely intrigued and gave him a look, "We can take risks,"

Jaskier ceased himself from humming, the voices of women giggling in the background coming along in their conversation. The ambiance changing into a lighter tone from the moment you came into their cavern. A thorough spin of the world like it was changing in the different kind of path; it was like seeing a new color for the rainbow that has been added to complete the beauty of it all.

You just had that specific effect that could create allurement to the world wherever you're in. Hence, that was probably your magic.

"But, are you willing to take it, Witcher?"

He was taken aback by the question, a question even asked as a question inside his head. Was he really willing to take the risk in helping this midget? another person on his hand to protect and help? Will it not slip apart due to unfortunate circumstances? Geralt calmly breathed through his nose, his facial features slackening when he'd seen Cirilla's eyes twinkling again despite of what she has been through. "I've been through hell and maybe even deeper than that. Probably already met the devil with it,"

Geralt slanted his head in a way to adore the image right in front of him; though with a face that seemed to be lackadaisical, "---This woman hasn't experienced what I have, not even the slightest and I don't want her to," he suddenly admitted, "---I have no thought as to what curse has this woman been cast upon,"

Jaskier nodded in comprehension and ruth for you; pretty blue eyes admiring the sight before him and Geralt, "Seems quite an unfortunate path,"

"Evil is evil," The Witcher added as a matter of fact, "---Lesser, greater or even stronger," a subtle pause to catch his breath as he eyed you beaming back at what Cirilla has said before he continued, "---She hasn't shielded herself from it, nor does she have an amulet with her; like she was sent here for a reason. She's bound for ill-fate because we're in a world full of animosity and mayhem," Geralt trailed off when you've rummaged for the things in the pocket of your short that was neatly folded on the side of the table.

You've shown Cirilla a small beautiful transparent ball that had rainbow color stars inside. It was a lucky charm for you and it has been given as a gift from your mother back in earth.  

"Do you know Jacks and Stones, Cirilla?"

Cirilla's ears perk at that, a perplexed expression written on her face. "The game doesn't ring a bell, Y/N."

Once Cirilla has seen you grabbed onto the small stones on the space below their window and tried to play on your own, her forehead creasing seemed to relax and a look of elation and familiarity run through her face, "I think I actually know it! Isn't it Knucklebones?"

You've caught the ball and the small stone in one hand with no sweat. She eyed the ball and the stones scattered around the table, her eyes gleaming a lot more than she ever did. "I think so! But, here's the catch! Loser gets a slap on the forehead with a finger and the Winner gets two drumsticks of my special fried chicken,"

"---Oh, you're on, Y/N! I'm great at Knucklebones!" she challenged as she abruptly stood on the table, looking right back at Geralt and Jaskier who were already looking in fascination.

Cirilla demanded in blithe. A big, bright smile shining her face, "Geralt, we need chicken! Catch us one!"

At the mention of that, Geralt couldn't help but repeatedly blink at the wishes from the princess; catching him off-guard. Jaskier couldn't help but send a shit-eating grin to the Witcher who had his brows in another kind of twist, his face wanting to wince but he ceased to.

"I'm a Witcher, not a farmer," he deeply mumbled with a sigh. Cirilla blew a breath, her hands on her hips as she sassed, "Aren't you a butcher of Blaviken? Or do they just call you that?"

The Witcher's forehead creased at the mention of one of his monikers. He didn't want anymore retorts because the princess would drop down more comments for the argument that will last for hours till end just for her demands to be taken into account. Thus, which is why; Geralt was shrewd enough to end her pleading with submission.

"Fine,"

He thought that would be the end of everybody's demand when you've suddenly stood up on your seat and waved a hand to get his attention. Geralt gave you a look of query and with a little bit of tenderness in his eyes that you could undeniably feel no matter how stoic his expressions were. You cleared your throat, grinning back at him like a Cheshire cat.

"Can I come with you? Please?"

"No, midget." He strained, the lackadaisical tone lacing at the end of his tongue. His answer was fast and prudent, entirely against the idea.

You just wanted to be familiar with their world when you'll be staying in it for days, maybe even months or badly for years because of how you didn't know the portal they were saying. All you knew on how to transport was cars, airplanes, boats, bikes and even walking would do the job. But, not with magic and scientific luck.

You pouted back at The Witcher, heart falling from the rejection. Sending him the most pitiful look in your eyes and hoping you weren't looking like a waggling goose before them, "Pleaseee, Geralt? I wanna wander in the woods! Be familiar with the place especially that I've probably going to take time before I go back home," pause. "After Cirilla and I play and know who wins and loses,"

Geralt huffed to himself, an incoherent one as he deeply sighed. Jaskier could hear him from where he stood as he adjusted the leather hoop of his Loot across his shoulder, his witcher of a friend's jaw clenching like he was thinking about it deeply. Before granting permission in the end because of how you were giving him those Hirikka eyes; as said by his inner thoughts out in the back.

"Fine,"

The bard wanted anything but to cough out loud from that submission. Jaskier gave him a double-take. An evident look of surprise in his eyes as he turned his soles to point a finger at the Witcher. Geralt was quick enough to shake his head and slap his finger away with the back of his hand.

"Don't...even start, Bard."

"It's been a day and this small rat already has you wrapped around her finger!" he whisper-yelled at his friend, excitement and jest sparking his nerves which got him grinning like the devil.

Geralt glared at the mischievous bard grinning back at him with the knowing look that they can only both understand, "When will you bloody shut up?"

"When I don't have the voice to poetically sing my wonderful epics," Jaskier scoffed, crossing his arms on top of his Lute with that mocking glint in his eyes. The Witcher smirked back at Jaskier, spitting out a particular jest that could get him back-paddling, "Guess I'll need a travel companion in finding another Djinn,” 

Jaskier blinked in surprise, taking a step back as he shook his head and had a hand on his hip while the other was wiggling in the air to express his negations, "Oh no no no, Witcher! Keep me out of your heroic attempts of gathering some kind of genie! I am done!" the bard ridiculed as he took hesitant steps back, slowly and slyly taking off before Geralt carries him on his shoulders to purposefully tag him along in finding another Djinn, "I figured playing this jacks and stones with Cirilla and Y/N will be much better instead,"

Jaskier halted from his silent, sneaky egress. Giving both women a glimpse who were playing behind him, "A BARD WISHES TO JOIN YOUR WONDERFUL ADVENTURE, LASSIES!"

He snapped his head back at Geralt who simple wore a crooked smile and a look of mockery filling his perfectly chiseled face, "Off you go, Witcher of the night," the rascal waved him off, a gloaty banter being thrown back to the smug witcher, "I have also yet to create another knightly epic for an intriguing love story that is bound to unfold in the far north of Kaedwan,"

Thusly, Geralt's crooked smile was rapid to fall. His face masking in condemnation when Jaskier began to strum his lute and with a tune that would probably haunt his friend as he tried to sleep through the night.

"Doeful eyes like a dear~ Seems like a Witcher who couldn't bear~,"

Jaskier's singing has made history through different places in the continent and he was never wrong with the epics he'd been orally singing out around which is why this new song he was forming to create would either be a complete disaster, a mere tell-tale or a myth that was bound to end up in the vast veracity of the epic told.

IT’S ALL FUN AND HAPPY NOW. BUT, Y’ALL WILL SEE THE WRATH OF ANGST WHEN THE CHAPTER GOES FURTHER!

[afterhoursfic]

Never shut up about Dettlaff/Eskel! Never! Tell me how Dettlaff likes to leave bite marks and bruises all over Eskel and watch them fade away safe in the knowledge that his beautiful witcher can take it. Then tell me how he keeps putting them back over and over. Tell me how they will get dressed up and go crash masquerade parties and fuck in the shadowed corners where anyone can find them. Tell me how Dettlaff makes small toys for Eskel that he hides in his bags. Sweet & dirty toys. Tell me!

Oh anon you have some wonderful ideas!!!

Ever since Dettlaff said it was damn near impossible to stop himself from marking up Eskel he's been trying to get Dettlaff to do just that, but he's too worried about doing too much, going too far and hurting Eskel no matter how many times Eskel says he can take it.

It's not until Eskel comes back feom a griffin hunt littered in bruises when he fell off a small ledge and of course Dettlaff worries and threatens to kill the beast (Eskels already killed it but he cant say no). Within a couple of hours the bruises are mostly and any cuts long since scabbed over and would likely be gone tomorrow.

With that new information Dettlaff can't help but shove Eskel against a wall, he wanta to choke him a little and see the shape of his fingers bruise his skin but right now he really needs to do more, need to see his teeth owning and claiming. By the time they're done Eskel is limping and looks as if he's been mauled but he shows it off proudly, even wears his shirt lower when he gets his contract payment and lets Dettlaff stare down at them over his shoulder.

And just think about Dettlaff accompanying Eskel to Kaer Morhen, of course once he's throufh the gate Dettlaff does a sweep of the area to kill any serious monsters because his witcher deserves a rest. All whilst Lambert and Geralt are panicking that Eskel has been attacked and injured given the bruises and marks all over whilst Eskel tries to bring thwir attention to the new clothes and armour and even a sword Dettlaff got him because of course he has to keep his witcher safe aand looking fine af.

Also yes the balls, definitely see Dettlaff being invited to most of them, probably starts off with masqerade style to help draw Eskel out, but eventually Eskel doesn't care what anyone else thinks when he's getting the best dicking of his life 3 feet away from nobility. Also just kinda love the idea of Dettlaff cornering him somewhere and pulling his dick out for anyone to see and just praising him as he jerks him off, telling him what a mess he's making dripping pre all over the floor, that anybody could smell the desperation on him until he comes.

And the toys yes!!! Maybe he does a little wood carving of a herb or something that Eskel used when he had to nurse Dettlaff back to health once and maybe he put a little enchantment on something just to give Eskel a bit more protection. Maybe Dettlaff even makes him a dice poker board which just on the edges of his memory he can remeber from when he was a kid and still with the hillfolk.

And then theres also the far too lifelike remake of Dettlaffs cock which he spends far tok much time getting acquainted with when they part. Maybe Dettlaff even makes him a cock ring that he cant take off until they see each other again.

Maybe Dettlaff gives him a second ring, a lot smaller than the first, but before Eskel can make a joke about his cock Dettlaffs already on one knee

[benisalilbitch]

for these witcher3 characters ask.. How's about Regis, Geralt, Orianna, Iris von Everec? :3c

I needed to take a quick break, but we're back with the thirsty asks!

Thank you so much for the ask! And absolutely! Finally someone got another one of my faves and I know you know who it is. Regis has already been rated along woth Dettlaff, so you can find him in the 'ask me' tagged posts!

Geralt of Rivia

Is there anything sexier than a man with flawless white hair, fighting with a sword? Fuck no. Will definitely bang. 15/10

You might be surprised that Geralt is one of my faves given how much I make fun of this dumb slut, but he is. I'm a dumb slut myself and we are just made for each other.

The first time I saw Geralt in the game I died. I just couldn't believe I was going to be looking at this hot mf the entire game because he is the main character. I was like, bitch what?! I was so lucky to see this sexy witcher fighting monsters the entire game and I was more than happy to find that the game is long af.

I just adore men with long hair and semi-permanent scowls (you can ask my other baes) and Geralt fits that mold perfectly. Also, my man high on potions? Hot af. I swear I don't do it just because he looks hot (I do), but also because they do come in handy whenever you're fighting a monster. I also definitely didn't make Geralt run around shirtless half of the game because I just couldn't get enough of watching that hot fucker. I finally let my boy cover up when monsters started becoming tougher and his amor started looking sexier.

Geralt's voice just does it for me. Of course he's hot af, because he really is, but I really dig his voice. And his gorgeous hair. And his weird eyes because I have a thing for creepy weird eyes too. Also, isn't Geralt just the sweetest guy? He's the whole package. He cares about his family and it just makes me so happy to see all the friends my himbo has. He's hot, mean and soft, all at the same time. And whenever he growls at someone because they're not paying him enough? My hoe ass just couldn't take it.

I've started kind of categorizing a few characters into a dom/sub kinda thing and Geralt doesn't fit any. He's a switch and so am I and we're in love. I just know Geralt is whatever you want him to be. You're a hoe who's into some kinky shit? He's got you. Are you more of a vanilla kinda type? No problem. Geralt always does his best and it's always more than enough.

We also love confident and brave men. I'm constantly in awe of how brave Geralt is. He straight up talks to spirits and investigates some pretty creepy stuff that made me scared, but I was sure my man was protecting me the entire time (and I tried my best to protect him, but he died a couple times oops). We stan men that are sarcastic and funny and just plain gorgeous. I recently heard him actually laugh in a side quest and I died. His laugh is the best thing ever and whenever he has one of those cute little smiles, my poor heart can't take it.

I'm always right there with my favorite witcher, no matter what dumb shit he gets himself into. I always got Geralt's back and what a nice view that is.

Orianna

Rich, hot, vampire lady? Sing me up. Will bang. 13.5/10

I only met Orianna for a bit, since I went with another route in the DLC, but that was more than enough for me to love her. My girl is hot and feral af. Her first instinct when seeing someone stealing from her was to fucking stab them and I just love it.

Orianna's name is one of the best names I've heard and she's just so badass and classy, my heart can't take it. This rich bitch is the shit and Anna Henrietta wishes she could. I knew vampires were hot, but this lady is just too much for me.

Orianna is one feral, badass bruxa and she is more than welcome to stab me anytime.

Iris von Everec

Why? Why would you do this to me after what I've been through? I love her so much.... Also, hot af. Will totally bang and we'll cry afterwards. 13.5/10

My baby. I love Iris so much, she didn't deserve what happened to her and I did my best to try and make it better for her. My bae Olgierd definitely has good taste and Iris has even better taste. Olgierd is one stupid fucker, but he had good intentions and he sacrificed it all for his wife. I just want to take care of my baby and make it all better for her.

Iris looks gorgeous no matter what she was wearing. Her dresses were the shit and I just adore her voice. My baby also paints and she paints so damn well. I don't know if I was supposed to use the portrait in the quest, but I didn't because I only saw it after I was done lmao, so I brought it home and it's my absolute favorite.

They would have been the hottest couple together if only men in the game weren't so fucking dumb. Thank God they're pretty or I'd have gone mad already.

Send me The Witcher 3 characters and I'll rate them along with my thot thoughts.