#Genuinely that's so much more than my other socials

[iraprince]

ALSO being on bluesky is reminding me i used to be on social media bc it was kind of fun. i used to be less scared of strangers and of talking to ppl. i have already rambled about this at length other times but i am thinking abt it again relative to necrotech99 and how excited i am abt it. it makes me wanna talk abt my stuff again.... (not TOO much bc i don't like unduly influencing quest suggestions/audience participation lol. like one thing i want to avoid from the tvrn era is it was really fun to answer so many behind-the-scenes questions, but i did end up eventually feeling like it created a situation where like... ppl who followed me on social media were having a rly different experience w the story, and had way more info, than ppl just following the thread, and i don't love cultivating/encouraging that kind of divide?)

anyway. thinking about that again. bc i used to talk abt tvrn all the time and promo it like crazy. and i even remember sometimes thinking to myself "damn where did i get all that energy bc lately promoing stuff/remembering to boost things online is such a drag and a chore and i hate it." and now that im on the necrotech grind im like oh yeah it was easy for me to remember to promo it bc i was.... genuinely promoing it... like i was genuinely eager to re-reblog stuff over and over and get more eyes on it bc i wanted really really badly for ppl to read and suggest!!!!! vs w work stuff a lot of times it's like. "[HEAVING A SIGH] i guess i should re-reblog stuff for Engagement and Visibility and Reach" in an abstract "maybe this will help me out jobwise? maybe someone will see my stuff and want to hire me, or find my itch and buy some games?" vs the DIRECT "i am hyping this up bc i want ppl to look at it now now NOW NOW NOW NOW :D NOW" that i feel when im rly into a quest

[himasgod]

Kinich x Reader and Wriothesley x Reader

Where reader struggles with social anxiety

(I loved making this request! As always, not too specific, to suit the reader's taste. If you have social anxiety, remember to be cautious and find your safe place, don't force yourself on others! I hope you enjoy it <3)

Wriothesley

A celebration at Fontaine Court turns into a nightmare for you, but Wriothesley is there to guide you back to calm.

The lights were too bright. The music was too loud. The constant hum of conversations around you filtered through your mind like an endless hum, making you feel like your ears were going to burst. The room was packed with elegant people chatting easily, but for you, being here was like trying to breathe underwater.

You had tried to stay close to your boyfriend, Wriothesley, seeking his reassuring presence in the crowd, but even he was busy talking to some of the court officials. You had moved away so as not to be a burden, trying to blend into the shadows, but the feeling of all eyes on you was suffocating you.

Your breathing became labored. The lump in your throat grew, and your hands began to shake. The heat of the room became unbearable, and the pressure on your chest kept you from breathing.

You needed to get out of there.

Without waiting another second, you slipped through a side door and found yourself in an empty hallway. The cool air hit your face, but you still couldn’t control your breathing. You leaned against the wall, trying to stop the world from spinning, fighting not to fall apart.

It was then that you heard familiar footsteps approaching.

“My love?” Wriothesley’s deep voice cut through the fog in your mind like an anchor. You didn’t look up right away, embarrassed that he saw you like this, so vulnerable. But he didn’t need you to answer; it was enough for him to see the trembling of your hands and the gleam of your panicked eyes.

Without saying anything, he calmly approached you. His presence was like a protective blanket, covering you from the storm raging inside you. Slowly, he reached out a hand towards you, but he didn’t touch you right away. He knew that in these moments, contact could be overwhelming, so he waited for you to be the one to make the first move.

“I’m here,” he murmured quietly, his tone firm and calm. “Breathe with me.”

It took you a moment, but you finally took his hand. His fingers were warm, his grip firm but not tight. At the contact, something inside you broke and you let out a choked sob, your tears rolling uncontrollably.

“That’s it, keep breathing, my love” he said softly. His words weren’t rushed or forced; he was willing to stay there as long as it took.

Slowly, your breathing began to sync with his. The pressure in your chest lessened, and the lump in your throat unraveled. You didn’t realize how much time had passed until you finally looked up at him. Wriothesley was watching you with those dark blue eyes filled with endless patience, not a trace of judgment in his expression.

“You don’t have to explain anything to me,” he said before you could apologize. “You don’t have to apologize for feeling that way.”

He wrapped you in a warm hug, his arms around you with the security of a refuge you knew you could always return to. “If you feel overwhelmed again, just let me know,” he whispered close to your ear. “You don’t have to face it alone.”

Gratefully, you clung to him as if he were your only salvation. For a moment, everything else faded away, and the world narrowed to the steady beat of his heart, the sound of his even breathing, and the comforting warmth of his embrace.

You didn’t know how long you spent there, but when you finally pulled away, your hands were no longer shaking, and you could breathe normally.

“Are you feeling better?” he asked, his tone denoting more affection than concern.

“Yes... thank you,” you replied in a whisper. A small but genuine smile appeared on your face, something he met with a satisfied look.

“Let’s go home,” he suggested, caressing your cheek gently with the back of his hand. “You don’t need to linger in places that hurt you.”

You took his hand once more, and this time there was no hesitation.

Because with him, you knew you would always have a safe haven to return to.

Kinich

A crowded Natlan market becomes a challenge for you. Kinich, with his gruff but honest style, helps you calm down.

The sun was blazing down on Natlan's bustling marketplace, where voices rose in ceaseless chaos. The air was filled with the scent of spices and roasted meat, and at every step you were hit by a sea of ​​bodies moving around incessantly. The laughter, the conversation, the shouts of merchants calling for the attention of buyers… it all mixed together in a deafening hum that made your heart beat faster than you could bear.

You had thought you could handle it, that you could accompany your boyfriend Kinich without problems while he gathered supplies for his next commision. But the crowd began to close in around you, and you felt panic seep through your veins, stealing your air little by little. Your hands shook, your legs felt like jelly, and the urge to escape overwhelmed you.

Kinich, who was haggling with a merchant for materials, immediately noticed the change in you. His sharp gaze turned to you, seeing how your eyes were wide, fear reflected in them. He knew what that expression meant; he had seen it before, even if you tried to hide it.

“Mh...” he muttered under his breath, eyes narrowing. Without a second thought, he turned to the merchant and tossed a handful of coins in his direction, leaving the materials uncollected.

He didn’t care at all that he had lost the bargain, not when you were on the verge of a panic attack.

He pushed through the crowd until he reached your side, his brow furrowed and his eyes filled with concern disguised as impatience. “Hey, look at me,” he ordered in his deep, but not aggressive voice. His calloused hand caught yours, squeezing it firmly, anchoring you to reality.

You couldn’t find your voice, but you felt the comforting pressure of his hand. Kinich leaned towards you, making a barrier between you and the crowd that continued to move around him as if nothing was happening. “Come on, breathe,” he told you, more gently this time. “Breathe in. Breathe out. It’s not the damn end of the world.”

His words were abrupt, but that didn’t make them any less effective. You knew his style: direct, blunt, but filled with a sincerity that made you feel safe. Focusing on his voice and the warmth radiating from his body, you managed to take a deep breath, though you still felt the lump in your chest.

“That’s it,” Kinich murmured as he saw you starting to regain control. His fingers, though rough, traced a small circle on the back of your hand. It was a gesture he probably didn’t realize he was doing, but it always managed to calm you down.

Seeing your breathing stabilize a little more, Kinich guided you out of the market without another word, keeping you close. He led you down a less-traveled alley and finally stopped in a secluded corner, where the noise was more distant. He let go of your hand just so he could turn you to him, his golden and green eyes staring intently at you.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were feeling this way?” he asked, his tone still somewhat annoyed, but you knew it was more concern than anything else.

“I didn’t want to bother you… you were busy and…” your words died in your throat as you saw his expression harden.

“Bother me?” he let out a short, incredulous laugh. “You’re more important than a bunch of screaming merchants and their damn arrows. Understood?”

You fell silent, feeling a little foolish for having worried so much about something that, in his eyes, was so simple. But that was what you appreciated most about Kinich. To him, there was no need to complicate things; if you felt bad, he would be there, period. No judgment, no unnecessary questions.

With a sigh, Kinich softened his expression and wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into his chest. The scent of leather and wood that always accompanied him enveloped you, and for the first time all day, you felt like you could truly breathe.

“You’re doing well,” he murmured next to your ear, his voice softer than ever. “But next time… if you feel that way, tell me. You don’t have to face it alone.”

And there, in his arms you allowed yourself to accept his support without reservation.

Because even though Kinich wasn’t the most delicate with his words, he always knew exactly how to make you feel safe in the midst of chaos.

Here is my masterlist, in case you are interested in any more of my work or want to send me a request <3

[creatingblackcharacters]

Follow Up to the Follow Ups

Some feedback to the responses I received:

1) A lot of people said that fear and discomfort is what makes antiracism not worth standing alone for. Okay, so then I want you to say this phrase to yourself when it comes to that moment:

"I would rather be antiblack than be afraid in this situation"

Does it make you uncomfortable? More uncomfortable than speaking up? I want you to dwell on that! And no, I'm not saying this to hurt you; sometimes it is the better option to stay quiet. I recognize that you have to recognize your own weight class. (Not so much on Tumblr as it is in real life, granted 🙄) But this is often the outcome when we choose not to act. We just don't admit that to ourselves so directly.

Try to notice how often you make that choice, how often you even have to make it. If you find yourself saying this more often than not, do you still feel you identify as an ally when it comes to speaking up about antiblackness? I'm not saying you have to fight every single battle. I'm just asking you to take the time to notice how often you find yourself tolerating more than you don't. And if that's something that you genuinely feel isn't right, or that you want to change, do so! You have the option to strengthen your allyship!

2) I feel like my question about Black fans got walked around a bit. Tbh, that is already the reality Black people live in. The way you aren't comfortable speaking up, I don't feel safe assuming you're safe to be around. It's a far more perilous outcome for me, putting faith in the anti-racism of a person that I don't witness them express.

3) Fear, itself

How do you think I feel? 🤣 You're afraid to speak out on antiblackness because you're worried about the anger of, or- if we're being honest- the social consequences of speaking out? I have an entire page dedicated to addressing antiblackness in media while Black!

At any point, not for my own betterment but the potential- not even a guarantee, just the potential- of yours, I openly put myself at risk of racist ire to try make the space around me better. I've been called plenty of slurs and insults on my main discussing these things. It's not an easy choice to risk that vulnerability. Trust, I understand that!

It's honestly gone far better than expected, though part of that is because I have to police my own tone. I don't expect other Black people to do so, or to have to do so. I can only imagine an environment where people felt less inclined to treat me and my peers that way, that they felt the fear of social repercussions for their racism when they spoke instead of me.

My point here is, I'm not naturally built to be stronger than you when it comes to dealing with racism. The way you are afraid of your peers treating you, is the way they already treat me and my peers. I'm forced into resilience, I've spent a long time learning how to deal with this. If I can stomach living with this, you can occasionally take the risk and speak up. Again, I'm not asking you to fight every battle. But you're capable of more battles than you think.

That's it! That's the end of the introspection practice this week. Thank y'all for participating; I hope that you got some perspectives to take on with you.

[asimplechaos]

This is breaking containment so I just want to stress that in SMALLER groups (SMALL. SMALLER. LIKE MORE THAN TEN PEOPLE IS VERY MUCH PUSHING IT), a space to let things off your chest, especially serious topics, is fine. I can understand the desire to keep it away from the main area to as not to bring people down.

But like, it should best be seen as more of a quarantine than a genuine platform for people to play therapy, in my experience. An empty room to scream into, where people are not obligated to respond or even look, but to just let out that stress in some non-destructive way.

If you need a space, you should not be looking for it on a social media site that literally anyone can stumble upon.

Obviously this changes between group dynamics and how long people know each other, but listen to me LISTEN TO ME

YOU DO NOT WANT TO SPILL YOUR GUTS OUT IN A PLACE ANYONE CAN ACCESS. THAT IS THE WORST PLACE TO BE VULNERABLE. YOU DO NOT WANT TO DROP THE DARKEST PARTS OF YOUR LIFE ON AN OPEN PLATFORM, IT /WILL/ BITE YOU BACK.

Also I want to quickly add because I saw a tag mentioning 'people-watching" (preface that this isn't to the person in specific, but the general attitude)

Smacks your hand like you were trying to take a cookie from the jar

You're part of the reason I'm saying this. Whether or not you intend to do anything with the information, since I highly doubt you intend to help by calling it "people watching", you're acting like people's behavior in a spot indicated for emotional vulnerability is some sort of entertainment or pastime.

I'm only going to say it nicely once: Stop that. If you think for two minutes I'm sure you can figure out why that's bad.

Obviously by talking about it I am ultimately drawing attention here but that type of attention is the last thing anyone actually using that community needs. I'm simply speaking out so others can be aware, and should anyone who sees this actually be in said community, give them a chance to realize this isn't a healthy arrangement.

So yeah.

Just saw a 'vent community' in tumblr's suggested tab and I cannot stress how much that is an absolutely terrible idea having a space dedicated to that full of strangers

[arcunlikely]

woah

People are liking my post tysm???? Have more too I insist

[egophiliac]

Hello ! I positively adore the running joke of Idia unknowingly finding Lilia to be the coolest guy ever whenever he doesn't know it's him, like when Silver described his father, or obviously with muscle red. I can't say what'd be funnier, Idia finding out his online best friend is actually Lilia, resident spooky hyper fairy; or them both never finding out, and it'd become even more ridiculous as time goes on. How do you think it'll play out ? You're always so on point

(Also, though it makes sense, I'm still devastated bat boy didn't get a ticket for the Halloween skeleton train : ( does anyone mentions him at some point ? Like how he'd have fit right in with all those Halloween town little freaks, and how he'd have impressed them with his spooks and scared techniques; after all he's been every Briar Valley's children worst fear on Halloween for centuries. I'm on the eng server and I didn't wanna spoil myself by watching the whole thing on youtube)

Have a nice day !

you and me both, Idia and Lilia being oblivious online BFFs (+ Idia being incredibly intimidated any time Silver brings up his jock gamer dad) is my favorite running joke/subplot. 🤝 it's SO good, to the point where I also am unsure if I actually want it to ever be resolved or not...maybe, like, as a post-canon stinger or something? everyone's standing around covered in overblot ink, and Idia and Lilia's phones go off at the same time...

(legit I do think this is part of why Idia couldn't be present for Lilia's dream, because for some reason Lilia decided he was going to just. embody his past self online. he probably quotes his own battle strategies or whatever in the middle of boss fights. Idia didn't pick up on the whole "oh how weird that we both live on a super remote island" thing, but he would spend thirty seconds listening to General Lilia describing siege warfare and be like "w-wait")

all that aside, however it does end up happening, I do see Lilia being very blasé and all "oh! cool!" about it. y'know, taking it very much in stride! and Idia...very much not.

(can't tell if tumblr is going to chew this into illegibility or not, this will be a fun surprise ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ)

as for Lilia sadly missing out on Halloweentown shenanigans...he does get one little mention as part of an offhand reference to the light music club, but so far no one has brought up how this basically is just Lost In the Book of Liliatown (Sebek's been too busy yelling about not getting to be in the same group as Malleus). 😔 honestly though, it's probably for the best that he got left out, because he would just settle right in and refuse to ever leave. canon would shatter. we would miss out on all the delightful angst of episode 7 because Lilia is too busy eating poisonous shrubbery inbetween practicing his very best screams, and no one can pull him away from it.

(I can hope for a sequel next year though...)

[bacchuschucklefuck]

Can you expand on what you mean by Baron being "too cool" to really fit a horror monster? It's a very interesting concept and I'd love to hear your thoughts. Is it that they're too active/involved/tangible and it detracts from their scariness?

I feel like I should preface this with a wall of disclaimers lmao 1/I am a hardcore, down-to-the-marrow, avid, deeply sincere horror enthusiast, esp. horror creatures. this usually means my mileage is vastly different from the average populace's, and my scaredy bone has been disintegrated by longterm exposure. most things in a piece of horror media won't scare me! so I practically never use that on its own as the scale to talk abt horror experiences, but when something does scare me it's always a special occasion to be treasured. 2/canon d20 is never really meant to be horror horror, and for good reasons: it doesn't fit the company's output, it takes a kind of carelessness in production estimation that is always a huge risk, it's often vulnerable in a way that kinda goes against how TTRPGs usually facilitates vulnerability, and for most people it's just! stressful! d20, even with the "horror-themed" seasons, generally just plays with horror tropes and stays focused in its goal of being a comedy improv tabletop theater show. 3/fantasy high's chosen system is DnD, which as I've mentioned before is before all a combat-based game system, which means the magic circle of play is drawn based on stats that facilitate and prioritize combat. want or not this affects every interaction you have in the game, and given fantasy high's concept from the ground up (everyone's going to school of DnD stuff to get better at DnD) it's doubly relevant. 4/This Is Fine I have no quarrel with this. my meters are internal, I do not ask this show to be anything it doesn't advertise itself to be, and what it is is fucking great! I like it! when I expand on this ask's question it will be like a physicist going insane in a lab. that's the mindset we're going in with.

disclaimers done. my stance on horror as a genre is that it's a utility genre rather than a content genre or a demographic genre; it is the discard of narratives. it's the trash pile. horror, above being scary, is about being ugly and messy, it's the cracks on the ground any story inevitably steps over to stay a genre that isn't horror. the genre's been around long enough to develop a codex and a general language that medias and makers and enthusiasts of the genre can use to talk about and build onto, but if you go into individual pieces there's really no unifying Horror Story. one person's beautiful life can be another's horror story, it's just how it is.

this makes The Monster a deeply intriguing piece of the genre. thing is a monster is in a decent percentage of any story - it's just when the antagonist force steps into something past a certain line traced out in the story's world. monstrousness is in pretty much every western fantasy story, it's in any story with a hero and something to vanquish or win; more than anything it's a proxy of that thing up there. the line in a narrative's world. the monster is the guard of the unknown lands, where heroic, civilized people don't tread.

what does this mean in the context of horror? the genre is about that perceived lawlessness, that "unknown land" so to say. we're in the monster's home. that's the literary context that we often walk into a horror piece with; the monster knows more than you about where you are. it may not understand you, but it holds more information than you, and with that it moves swifter than you, has more covered than you, and is more assured in its existence in this context than you. it's a struggle to catch up to it, it's nigh impossible to get one over it, and you're never sure it'll 100% work, because you just don't have the information necessary to.

with that framing you can kinda see where I'm coming from here: horror's often about the breaking of rules. I always think a monster's most effective when it breaks well-established rules of both existence and visual storytelling. think Possum (2018) or Undertale's Omega Flowey or the Xenomorph Queen - unique change in medium, unique change in graphic, unique change in design language, etc. in that sense I actually really like how canon baron plays out: they don't really function like anything else in the fantasy high universe, the bad kids have not managed to kill them when they've felled literal gods, their domain in fhjy literally introduces new mechanics to encompass their existence! from an experience design standpoint they slap mad shit. BUT! I can't help finding their character, like as a character riz (and the other bad kids, eventually) interact with, to be very... coherent? in design. this is kinda hard for me to articulate in words, it's more often a sense you get once you've looked at enough of these scrumptious fuckers, their general design and the way they show up is just kinda too clean, so to say. always kinda newly made? fresh unboxed. it, once again, makes sense for their lore - they are looking for more about themself from riz - and their function - they're an antagonist in a game experience, they're meant to be interacted with in a way that produces results and meshes with the existing magic circle - but that shininess takes away from the implied history they should have dominion over and the person they're haunting doesn't.

from another angle there is kinda something there about how put-together canon baron is as a concept; the domain they call home is riz's deep-seeded fears, extremely vulnerable things he's drawn borders around to quarantine and refused to walk into. things that from his perspective would irreversibly shatter certain pleasant fictions his world is built on top of. canon baron, While Extremely Cool, I feel is kinda too neat to connect with and signify the apocalyticized mess that'd result from this paradigm shift. the part where they're in riz's briefcase and looking through every mirror is Very Cool And Fucked Up! but ultimately the show draws a line around them as well, by making game-physical, tangible spaces they're in (the mirrors and the haunted mordred manor) and put riz and the bad kids there only when they need to confront stuff. riz is meaningfully narratively away from baron's unknown land for most of fantasy high.

with that and all of my disclaimers in mind my conclusion here is if canon baron wants to be a Horror Monster they'd have to cross way more lines. be a Lot more invasive. hence (holds up my class swap baron like a long cat)

[officially-other]

Frog (For context; I am the "host" or "original." We don't really like either term, but it's easier than saying "I'm the one who identifies with the name and body we use and I was the one to start the questioning process" lol.)

So, to be clear; Our collective isn't median, but we relate a lot to some median experiences. The concept of median plurality was our first step into plurality due to the fact that, up until we heard about median experiences, we'd only seen the more disordered forms of plurality. At least- those were the only forms of plurality we'd heard about in detail. For those of you reading this who aren't OP: I promise I asked before reblogging to make sure our experiences wouldn't be unwelcome.

This is a fucking WALL of text, and I would not blame you for looking at it and going "well I'm not reading that." I just figured it was better to give you a wall of text you'd never read than to give you something small that won't be helpful because I omitted the parts you'd find useful.

What made you start questioning whether you were a system or not? And what brought you to discovering and adopting the "median" label? As I began questioning my fictionkinity, I ultimately felt... weird. I confirmed who I was, and suddenly had what I assumed was a mental shift. Except it felt like I'd been plonked into someone else's life, and "I" spent the next few days feeling weird about it and cleaning because "what the fuck do you mean I live like this?" Turns out that was actually someone else, which I learned when consulting the plurality chat in the otherconnect discord server and coming away with the information that no, switching does not always look like getting booted out of first-person POV, or blacking out. It can look like "who 'I' am changing." When it comes to the median label- while we're not median, I can say what chose us to not settle on that term. I've seen median systems described as 'facets of one person' to an extent, or somehow being anything less than completely separate individuals. That may be inaccurate, but it's our understanding of the term. We feel INCREDIBLY strongly that this isn't the case with us. We're individual people and get really pissed when not respected as such.

Was there ever one, big "Aha!" Moment for you? Or several smaller ones? What was the event(s) like, what happened? The first "Aha!" Moment was the above, with the second being Malaika's appearance. Malaika was the first of our headmates other than me to show up properly and introduce herself, and idk what to tell you other than it's really fucking hard to deny what's happening when you have a vaguely feral witch going "Buddy intrusive thoughts don't have extensive conversations with you." After that, I feel like our life has been filled with "Aha" moments. Our mom commenting that she always felt like we were really unpredictable and inconsistent with our reactions to certain things, finding certain memories that we KNOW must have been a certain person fronting, our memory as a whole makes such much more sense through the lens of plurality, hell even the kintypes I was questioning suddenly made more sense when I realized they weren't me at all. They were some of my headmates experiencing phantom shifts and strong feelings about their kintype while fronting, or said shifts/feelings bleeding into my own when they were near front.

For neurodivergent medians, how did you differentiate your systemhood from the rest of your neurodivergencies? (Ex: the difference between autistic masking and subtle/fluid switches, identity issues from personality disorder vs genuine facets, etc) I feel this question in my BONES. The answer is... it's really fucking hard. After being in public social spaces for a while, we put on the autistic mask so hard that we tend to get blurry. Our mom has learned that if she asks if it's still whoever she dropped off at an event/appt/whatever as we get in the car, the most likely response is "aaauuhhhh.... probably?" Our biggest tool was learning that I'm not the default. That just because we're masking, or not feeling a particular strong sense for who's fronting, doesn't mean it's me. 9/10 times masking doesn't even cause a switch, it just causes confusion.

Do you experience some form of frontstuckness, whether it's "nobody can ever front except one facet" or "I'm a shell and everyone fronts through me"? Ngl this one is funny, if at Venti's expense (to be fair he thinks it's funny too.) During the election we were under lots of stress and Venti got frontstuck for three goddamn days. We're pretty sure he was properly frontstuck, since he couldn't hear anyone else either, but he was also just too scared to even try to pull someone up and switch out because he was afraid it wouldn't work and then he'd feel properly trapped. So technically we aren't sure.

Semi related to above, how do you recognize switches? Especially early in your journey. Are they subtle? Can you switch intentionally or is it random? Personally, we can switch intentionally. A lot of our switches are intentional. Intentional switches are much less subtle because we actively turn our mind's eye to the innerworld and "watch" the switch happen. Person A steps out of the body and back, person B steps into the body and grounds themselves. Beyond that, I... actually don't know. Maybe we'll pay more attention and write a post on how we experience switches after a while for fun.

How do you discover the identities of your facets, whether they're another you or someone entirely unique? This may be less relevant to you due to the fact that we aren't median, but: it helps that most of our headmates are fictives. I can recognize that certain characters have had a "will of their own" to me for a while, or that I feel emotions about a certain character's story as if it were my own, or sometimes it's as simple as "Wow I associate this song with this character!" "Hi." "WHAT THE FUCK WHEN DID YOU GET HERE-" As for non-fictive headmates, it's only happened... twice. We only have two of them other than me lol. Malaika introduced herself, and she's learned much about herself as she fronts. Jasper figured himself out because he woke up fronting and realized he wasn't someone we knew about yet.

Prior to self discovery, did you ever experience talking to your brain/body/"inner self" as a separate being to yourself, whether or not you actually believed they could respond or were conscious? Literally fucking constantly. I personified my brain and we still do. "I want to do this but brain says no." etc. While I didn't consciously personify everyone else, I did have lots of "my own thoughts" that acted completely on their own. I just was used to them, and as someone who experiences intrusive thoughts on the regularly, simply thought they were another form of that. They uh. They were not.

Have you ever had the experience of "not being able to pick just one aesthetic", which you later discovered was your plurality? THIS. I cannot express my feelings on this strongly enough; yes. I was in love with so many different styles of fashion- even ones I could never see myself wearing! Those ones in particular confused me. Turns out some headmates just like styles I would never wear myself. I felt a huge relief when I realized that I didn't have to pick one and could instead just try and gather clothes to fit a few different aesthetics. That feeling settled into everything, though, so that realization ended up not helping. Not able to just pick one career path, a small enough number of hobbies to reasonably sustain, and even though it feels really obvious saying it now I felt like I couldn't pick one personality. But that was just.... not obvious to me at the time. I couldn't pick just one way to be. Now I know it's because "I" am more than just me.

Are you monoconscious, polyconscious, or something else? Are your facets "conscious/aware" in headspace/while not fronting? Is the current fronter aware of/able to interact with the other facets while fronting? I said monoconscious in the replies, but actually the term we use is split-monoconscious. It's the best we've found so far. We have no innerworld... Except we do. Uh. It's complicated. Whoever's in/near front can only access the void. Hence our current collective name: "From The Void." But recently we've gotten a very strong sense that there is an innerworld, even some vague ideas of what it might look like, we just... can't access it or memories from it consciously when near/in front. We can interact with each other in the void; and do often! We like to chat. But whoever isn't in the void is completely inaccessible. I wouldn't call them unconscious though. As far as we can tell, they're aware and doing their own thing in our innerworld. They just lose memory of it the closer to front they get, almost immediately after getting pulled into the void.

HOO BOI this post is huge and I'm too tired to edit it, so if it's a messy ramble it'll just stay a messy ramble. We've been meaning to post about our experiences more, but haven't found the time, so your post asking some systems/collectives direct questions actually helped with that writers block. I hope this helps a little even though we're not median, and even if not thank you for reading all this way if ya made it!

Hiiii, plural community! Questions for median systems, while I explore the possibility of being one myself, answer as many as you like:

What made you start questioning whether you were a system or not? And what brought you to discovering and adopting the "median" label?

Was there ever one, big "Aha!" Moment for you? Or several smaller ones? What was the event(s) like, what happened?

For neurodivergent medians, how did you differentiate your systemhood from the rest of your neurodivergencies? (Ex: the difference between autistic masking and subtle/fluid switches, identity issues from personality disorder vs genuine facets, etc)

For those of you with no headspace or very limited internal interaction, what is that like for you? How did you discover your system and how do you communicate (if at all)? Do you experience uncontrolled inner voices, like a lot of multiple systems do, or something else (internal/"ghost" emotions, visual projections, random thoughts popping up)?

Do you experience some form of frontstuckness, whether it's "nobody can ever front except one facet" or "I'm a shell and everyone fronts through me"?

Semi related to above, how do you recognize switches? Especially early in your journey. Are they subtle? Can you switch intentionally or is it random?

How do you discover the identities of your facets, whether they're another you or someone entirely unique?

Prior to self discovery, did you ever experience talking to your brain/body/"inner self" as a separate being to yourself, whether or not you actually believed they could respond or were conscious?

For those of you who are stoners, how does weed affect you and potential switches? Does it make switching/recognizing a switch easier?

Have you ever had the experience of "not being able to pick just one aesthetic", which you later discovered was your plurality?

Are you monoconscious, polyconscious, or something else? Are your facets "conscious/aware" in headspace/while not fronting? Is the current fronter aware of/able to interact with the other facets while fronting?

⚠️ NO SYSCOURSE ON THIS POST ⚠️

I do not want to engage in syscourse, do not attempt to start any with me. I simply want to hear about others experiences and hope to learn something about myself in the process. If you want drama, go elsewhere.

[icewindandboringhorror]

sometimes looking at like Self Help Strategies lists for the symptoms I'm having is always just like:

thing that I already do

thing I have tried 10 times

thing I already do

thing that I don't have the money to do

thing I already do

thing I've been doing since I was 10yrs old to no avail

thing that is impossible given my situation

thing that doesn't apply to me

thing that I already do

thing I have already tried

hrmm, oh wait, maybe finally- OH, yeah.. okay. thing that I already do but it was just phrased slightly differently

thing I have already done

[brittlebutch]

the thing is, you’re absolutely right! because what neurotypical people sometimes don’t understand is the massive difference between the average level of social interaction that they themselves vs other people get outside of organized or scheduled events like work or school, and also don’t understand the massive difference between what failure looks like, and how those two things overlap. i’m told that among the average neurotypical person, they’ll make a point to talk to people in their lives or hang out with friends or go on dates or chat with other people in public spaces, al to have casual interactions, multiple times a day, multiple days a week. meaning, if they have a failed social interaction, it’s buffered by the many successful interactions they’ll go on to have. failure most likely won’t mean complete isolation, because they have multiple avenues of interaction to fall back on. and, moreover, a failure in a social interaction when you have (on average) fewer than most means that now rather than that person going “oh that was a weird interaction, i talk to them a lot and it’s not usually like that, maybe it was an off day” they go “huh i don’t know that person very well maybe they’re just like that?”, which means that the odds are way different on whether relationships stay good after mistakes.

social skills are not actually as inherent as neurotypical people like to think. it’s just that when you’re always in practice, always getting back on the proverbial horse, the advice “just get back out there!” does actually work very well. but if you’re not able to do that for any variety of reasons, you can’t play the game the same way. my advice is not “try harder”, it’s “lower your expectations for yourself on what a good interaction and a moment of connection might be”. just as it’s possible you’re somehow unintentionally upsetting people, it’s possible you’re unintentionally making them feel happy, or valued, or heard, even in small, passing interactions. remind yourself that you’re working with fewer resources and a much more limited data pool. a lot of the advice being given is coming from someone who assumes they understand what the math looks like for you, because it’s very difficult to imagine that other side. so instead of trying to overlay a system made for someone who has resources that you just don’t have, you need to figure out what a functional system of interaction looks like for you, and adapt the advice given to fit your situation. my advice, bearing that in mind, is that finding communities and groups can look like a lot of different things, and getting your social needs met can come from a lot of sources, and ideally should! you would understand best what your situation is, and there’s no shame in changing tact to accommodate for your own needs and boundaries.

forgot to answer this for a bit lol BUT yeah, the post was a little bit more about the Conceptual argument than it was about me specifically, so I'm definitely already with you re: 'finding out what your Individual social goals are and working based off of those instead having high expectations based off of other people's metric' stuff. You definitely have a huge point with the "social buffer disparity" between NT people and ND people, where failures are both less demoralizing internally and less impactful externally when you're able to have a greater average of interactions generally also

but I really appreciated the "just as it’s possible you’re somehow unintentionally upsetting people, it’s possible you’re unintentionally making them feel happy, or valued, or heard, even in small, passing interactions" aspect of this message. I do definitely have a recurring problem of like, labeling Myself as an Uncanny Valley Person and automatically assuming that every interaction I'm involved in must be some level of uncomfortable for the other person -- it actually was kind of a revolution moment reading this and realizing that OH it does make sense that if I can unintentionally make people uncomfortable, it's statistically just as likely that I can unintentionally lift people's spirits in one way or another! So thank you very much for that!!

[chrisbangs]

hello... (and bye ig 👋)

[giantkillerjack]

Ya know. I spent most of my life with horrible painful soul-crushing social anxiety.

And after about 25 years of continuous hard work, suddenly, people started pointing out - to my utter bafflement - that I had, in fact, achieved my lifelong dream of being charismatic. I'm 29 now; I feel comfortable in most social situations, and it is a very rare person whom I cannot make laugh.

I am, undoubtedly, finally, charismatic.

But do you know what I found?

I found that now that I have an understanding of which social rules serve which functions -- Now that I have an understanding of just how much damage my awkwardness was doing to people, well,

I found that, actually, my awkwardness never really hurt anyone at all. People were just judgmental dicks to me about it.

Now that I have the skill-level to (most of the time) creatively vocalize what is in my head as soon as I think it and without fear, I can confirm once and for all what I had always suspected:

I was worth talking to when I was quiet.

I was worth talking to when I was awkward, and when the words in my head took time and patience to hear, and when most of my jokes didn't land. I was worth talking to the whole time.

So I just... I hope that if you've ever wondered whether you are worth communicating with, the answer is yes. Absolutely yes. Each of us has a soul worth sharing - and if you and I were talking, I would happily wait for you to speak (or communicate in other ways) without condescending, and I would never shame you for that harmless awkwardness that so many people feel the need to violently stomp out.

You are worth talking to. You just are. And you deserve people who will speak to you with kindness, with patience, and with the basic immutable respect owed to all people.

(I talk about this with some frequency, both on tumblr and in real life. At some point, maybe I'll gather all my thoughts on the matter into one post. At some point, I wrote about my personal experience trying to build my social skill. But I felt the need to say at least a little bit tonight after seeing this other lovely post, and I'm glad I did. It will happen again.)

[kaurwreck]

for the ask game: LILAC CHARCOAL AND RASPBERRY

anon this is so sweet 😭

[ask game provided below for reference; if you'd like to play, please reblog from OP here:]

[complicit-rot]

i haven't been this social & talkative in Years someone drag me out back

[prismatica-the-strange]

Nope, I'm still crying

[magentagalaxies]

.