#Geeky Recipes

[barwithnodoors]

This recipe for beignet featured in Strange Academy #3. It was a weird recipe. There was no indication how much a cragful of Crisco is. I used 2 tablespoons.

I've never had Beignet before but they were really delicious.

[geekswhoeat]

Yas' Spiced Hummus: A Rye Lane Inspired Recipe

Yas' Spiced Hummus: A Rye Lane Inspired Recipe

This past January we participated in the Sundance Film Festival’s virtual film festival. One of the films we didn’t get an opportunity to see was Rye Lane due to it only being an in-person showing. Fortunately, we were able to see an early screener and came up with a really fun recipe inspired by the film, Yas’ Spiced Hummus. In Rye Lane, “two twenty-somethings, both reeling from bad break-ups,…

[uwudonoodle]

I just made the best hummus. A trick lets you boil dried chickpeas to nearly mush in 20 minutes, and it's the smoothest hummus ever.

Here's the recipe:

[mrkapao]

Mixed up something deviously delicious while bartending the Strategicon: Gateway 2024 Staff Lounge. Still trying to decide on a name and so far the front runners are 'Spring Time for the Elder Brain' or 'Mindflayer in a Sundress'.

1 1/2 oz Peach & Orange Blossom Ketel One 1/2 oz Lavender Syrup 1/2 oz Yuzu Syrup Splash of Grenadine

Shake vigorously for 5 to 10 seconds. Strain and serve over ice.

[madegeeky]

I've got this baking book I've been using and, don't get wrong, the recipes I've made in it are very good.

However, you can tell the author basically copy-pasted the recipes in it without really thinking about better explanations or tweaking the ingredients to make them work better. (The recipes are from the 1900s to the 1980s and so some of them desperately need more detailed instructions.)

For example, I'm about to start making a cookie recipe. The ingredients in this recipe are butter, powdered sugar, flour, cornstarch, and baking powder.

There's no vanilla extract or even salt.

I know from my own personal experience of both baking and accidentally forgetting to add salt to recipes, that this cookie is not going to have any depth of flavor. This 100% should have been tweaked and it would have taken very little work to experiment to do so. (I, myself, am going to add a tiny splash of vanilla extract and a pinch of salt.)

Also, the instructions for this recipe involve chilling the dough. However, they don't specify the container (or whatever you call it) that you should be chilling it in and that does make a difference. A dough wrapped in saran wrap and squished somewhat flat will chill faster than one kept on the bowl. If you do keep it in a bowl, are you supposed to cover the bowl or not? Covering the bowl will keep moisture in, thus making a wetter dough, and leaving it open means some of the moisture will escape making the dough less wet. (I'm going to wait and see how wet the dough is and decide what to do from there.)

These seem like small things and they wouldn't matter in cooking but this isn't cooking, this is baking, and usually things are done for very specific reasons.

I dunno, I'm just glad that I'm comfortable and knowledgeable enough about baking that I can see that these are issues and know going into it how I can fix them up but a lot of people aren't. They're going to try this recipe and wonder why their cookies turned out so flavorless or the texture was weird.

Just, if you're writing a recipe book write it as though it's the first baking book the reader has ever picked up because it might actually be. And I hate the idea of people being put off baking not because they're bad bakers but because the books have failed them.

Anyway, off to bake the cookies, will try to remember to let y'all know how it goes.

[wonderlesch]

12 Days of Geeky Gifts 2023

12 Days of Geeky Gifts 2023 is the ultimate gift guide with mind blowing gadgets and collectibles. It's the most wonderful time of the year! #newblogpostalert #12daysofgeekygifts2023 #geekygiftguide #wonderlesch

Hello and welcome to my latest Blog Post: 12 Days of Geeky Gifts 2023. There’s a song about the 12 days of Christmas, here I am sharing not only what is at the top of any geek’s gift list but where that gift can be purchased as well. Read on to discover a Foldable Drone that’s perfect for someone just starting out in the world of drones (that’s me!). A cell phone holder and iPad stand (helps me…

[lemonisntreal]

TONE DEAF :: Rosita and Norman <3

The first in a [hopefully] series of redesign + headcanon posts where I give you my take on a character for my AU

I'm grouping the two together because a] a lot of fluff headcanons I have, they share [because they're literally husband and wife]. And b] if I made an individual post for every single character, I... would go insane. So yeah. A bunch of characters are gonna get clumped together.

[FULL MASTERPOST HERE [yet to be made <3]]

HEADCANONS // BACKSTORY ⬇️

Me and the bad bitch I pulled by being autistic [also autistic]

Both of them are the same age, mid to late thirties.

In terms of general intelligence: Rosita has gifted IQ, while Norman is at genius level.

I know. I know Norman seems kinda dim in the movies. But guys [LMAO]. "I know it looks like there's nothing happening behind those eyes, but...... he can make entire computers!"

He's so smart yet so stupid. He's that kind of character. Like he can do all of this super impressive shit, and is super talented and can do math like BOOM done, but he's also kinda a "deer-in-the-headlights" when it comes to life [I LOVE HIM 👹]

Both of them worked hard and have their college degrees almost completely paid off at this point because of the scholarships they earned.

Rosita has a degree in engineering, Norman's a computer scientist.

They're both in STEM, it's just that Rosita likes to handle more of the mechanical aspects of things while Norman's better with the technical stuff, which I think is cute af.

Yin and Yang <3

This dynamic is just how they are too. How they act. Like for example, Rosita can be very to-the-point-

She's very much a problem solver and will get right to it once she understands what she's doing. Like yeah, she often takes a very methodical approach to it [see the scene where she's got all the papers laid out to try and learn to dance- very new territory for her], but once she learns, she gos all in. And EATS.

Norman's gotta have a plan before doing anything, meanwhile. He has a morning routine that can't be interrupted or else his whole day and mood will be thrown off. He reads through a recipe twice before even starting. That kind of stuff.

He's a lot more hesitant to even try.

A lot of people find Norman boring. But Rosita is enraptured by every word he says, she LOVES his long spiels about hyper-specific [and often mundane] things.

AAAA--

Norman is also a closeted DORK. He ran a tabletop games club in highschool with a couple other of his geeky ass friends [he's still into D&D to this day and has introduced Rosita to the game too]

[she's fun to play with, but super competitive. This goes for ANY game, actually, not just D&D. She'll kinda accidentally turn everything into a "contest" due to her inability to not do her very best] [it's mostly inspirational, not annoying, if that makes sense?]

I also wanna say Norman was in a weird amount of drama that he didn't want to be in at this time. Like all of his friends had falling-outs, and he was just always caught in the middle of it.

He's afraid of confrontation [UNLESS IT'S FOR HIS WIFE] [HE STANDS UP FOR HER RAHHHH] [this is gonna happen when I get to rewriting Sing 2, he's NOT just gonna take Crystal calling his WIFE "mommy pig"]

They're sooo "excuse me, he asked for no pickles"

Norman and Rosita technically met in high school, in Junior year when Norman first moved to Calatonia.

WHICH, he and his family did this because this was a point in time where laws having to do with the rights of animals were VERY flimsy, and Calatonia was one of the first and only safe places at the time-- for Pigs especially, actually.

The 3 Little Pigs is deadass CANON TO SING. So Pigs were/are actually a marginalized species in this universe.

[[during the warring period that I have yet to really talk about, they were often victims of the anarchy and poaching, so stigmas and insults around them still exist to this day]]

[[[[see Jimmy Crystal]]]]

So anyway, they "met" in high school- Norman totally crushed on Rosita from afar whenever he'd catch her in volleyball matches-

Rosita had a major tomboy phase throughout high school, slowly falling out of it during college [still only saves dresses and skirts for special occasions really]

[[Fun fact, Rosita is also sapiosexual [attracted to intelligence] [Roxanne Ritchi ahh] ]]

[[Norman is bi]]

They actually got introduced to eachother and had a proper arc when they went to the same college [which might've been a college in Redshore actually? But I'm not 100% sure on that headcanon. It would line up since Rosita's "wanted to perform in Redshore since she was a little kid" and Redshore is obviously a massive city with a lot of notoriety. Idk though- and it's not really that important to the story anyways]

Norman and Rosita had plans together- they were gonna make it big and live freely. Things were looking up with the lawmakers, who were finally repealing a bunch of nasty stuff that was put in place during the war times. And the two had hope that their dreams could actually be accomplished.

Rosita, who was originally gonna play it safe and become an engineer, was now thinking about attempting to become a performer [which Norman has supported since the beginning, he LOVES her singing, and often tells her that she's "better than some of the people I've heard on TV!"]

But. Life got in the way...

Present day, Norman works in Redshore at Crystal Enterprises. He's the head of some sort of organizational team- not really working on what he loves at this point.

And this is because of their children, who were a very sudden appearance in their lives [which is why we see so much struggle in the chaos at the beginning of the movie in this AU]

Rosita stopped everything, and Norman grabbed the first high-ish paying job he could, spending all his spare time on clocking in overtime hours.

The kids are all adopted, and there's only 6 now: Oldest Caspar [13], twin boys Mickey and Moe [11], middle child Kelly [9], little bro Freddy[8], and Zoey the sweet baby sister [6].

They became foster parents after the death of Rosita's sister [this hc is kinda subject to change, but this is the story rn. I'll specify on this later ☝️]

So Rosita's kinda put her life on hold for these babies. She's such a great mom to them, and they love her and Norman so much

But some of the older kids [Caspar specifically] are kinda in a rough phase since they feel like she resents them [which she doesn't], or that she isn't their "real mom" [which she IS]

This is like an E plot in the story, but definitely's gonna get at least a little bit of focus.

Rosita and Norman's marriage is falling apart just a little bit due to burnout, but it'll get better <3 [I can't do anything tragic to these two they're too sweet]

Norman snuggles up to Rosita in his sleep. Rosita starfishes LMAO

They wake up entangled. This is normal.

"Pig piles" are also a thing- there have been several nights where all six children "had nightmares" and so the family of 8 all slept in the same bed.

Norman has the best bond with the two girls out of all the children. They immediately latched onto him to be their level-headed dad.

Rosita can carry two kids at once easily, and often "relocates" them like this :>

She's probably the strongest out of everyone in the troupe if you don't count the potential Meena has. She solos.

She's constantly taking notes on everyone and everything around her. At the theater, you'll catch her tidying stuff up she spots out of the corner of her vision while you're having a conversation with her [she's still listening]. She knows everyones favorite foods, and allergies, and their preferences in things, etc. She's the most attentive and considerate out of all of them [the mom]

She may have a touch of OCD.

She gives the best hugs.

Rosita is also a FANTASTIC cook [not even a headcanon, I'm pretty sure the entire fandom agrees on this one] and often bakes stuff for her sweet-toothed children [and husband]

This is actually how she initially connected with Caspar, who refused to eat or speak at first when they were all placed with Rosita.

Cinnamon rolls.

Kelly will only eat the frosting off the top, and has ruined an entire pan before by doing this.

Rosita actually isn't the biggest fan of chocolate, small detail.

Idk why she just strikes me as not being an enjoyer.

Loves vanilla though. People are furious when she answers "vanilla" with zero hesitation to the chocolate vs vanilla question.

Norman is kinda a hopeless romantic, or at least really enjoys the aesthetic of it [in a sweet and not shallow way ofc], and goes all out every Valentine's Day: balloons, flowers, the works. He's learned that Rosita prefers strawberries over a box of chocolates, however. Has a tradition of getting a fruit basket for her <3

They also have a tradition from all the way back in college, where they go out to eat at specifically the in-universe equivalent of Olive Garden [which was the fanciest thing they could afford at the time] and eat a shared giant plate of spaghetti.

Norman loves coffee. Insists he likes it black but actually prefers a good 50:50 ratio of creamer and coffee.

Norman is also ☝️ lactose intolerant LMAO

[[or would be, if traditional milk was widely accessible/a thing. I say "lactose intolerant" but what I really mean is he's allergic to most milk substitutes- like nuts and soy [gives him tummy ache, not anaphylaxis] ]]

God, parenthesis are carrying me so hard rn.

Stopping here because I'm tired, but I could go ON about these two omg-

Normita forever rahhhh <3

[arkon-z]

You ever go searching for Zelda recipes for something fun and, 9 times out of 10, it's just another recipe for monster cake? (i'm looking at you, Babish and Geeky Chef).

Turns out there's a YouTuber who is actually creative, and has done a bunch of cool dishes!

That's a playlist of all the Zelda stuff. Allow me to point out my favorite: Tabantha Bake from Age of Calamity!

I've tried this one and it's really good. This is the recipe that changed my mind about mushrooms.

All of the recipes look awesome, though they assume you know your way around a kitchen. This is more advanced than 'make your ramen into SUPER ramen by adding vegetables.'

[instantpansies]

Haiii againn :3

Uhmmmm

I was wondering what your general mml hcs are :p

okay i think i'm finally prepared to answer this question!!! i'll preface this by saying i'm much more obsessed w phineas and ferb than milo murphy's law. i love mml very much but i don't have nearly as many Thoughts(tm) about it as i do pnf... even so here's what i've got

i'm not just saying this bc he's the voice actor, i think milo would listen to weird al. that and like '90s-'00s pop hits (basically canon anyway)

melissa has adhd and can't function without variety. she's always multitasking, fiddling, taking hard classes to keep herself occupied

definitely she's the type to really want one of those treadmill desks

that's part of why she gets along so well with milo, it's never the same with him. he's exciting

melissa is the most online of the main kids i think. she probably plays fps games and argues with people who disagree with her on twitter

i think melissa would be a vocaloid fan, lydia got her into it and she passed it on to amanda

btw lydia has been a miku stan since third grade

also melissa likes metal. i have no proof of this but i think she'd like it. good for studying

zack cannot stand metal though, it's grating and he can't hear the lyrics

on the topic of the main kids, i'm not super into shipping or anything but my philosophy is, they all have two hands. so casually speaking i really like the dynamic of simultaneous milo/amanda, amanda/melissa, melissa/zack (i'm not wild about them but if we don't go overboard zalissa is fine), zack/bradley, bradley/milo. they are in a circle holding hands and i like them a lot :3

however like i said that's just for funsies and i dont really really ship anyone there. i do like the dynamics of that particular arrangement though lol!

sara was a tumblr user during the equivalent of superwholock, now that that's not really a thing anymore she's gotten more into analysis and the more geeky side of dr zone fandom. she still watches the old edits though

okayyy i'm kind of obsessed w cavendish and dakota so they r always spinning around in my brain

i think brick and savannah are newer agents than dakavendish, which is why cav is kinda bitter. despite working for the agency for longer, he got stuck with the worst equipment and the most unfulfilling job possible

cav is probably a little frustrated at dakota because of this, but i'd think after so long working w him he's realized that it's not dakota's fault they can't seem to climb the ladder. they're just like that. but obviously he hasn't accepted his fate as we see in the show

dakavendish have been in the same semi-romantic semi-platonic situationship forever. neither of them has said a word. if they knew what a qpr was they'd really like that but they've never heard of it so instead they're just stuck Like That. hopeless idiots my beloved

cavendish watches ancient aliens and all those other sorts of shows about supernatural conspiracies. he half believes them. dakota watches them with him, ironically.

anyways back to the kids. lydia and buford met once at a concert for some famous orchestra, they don't really hang out but they email back and forth sometimes and exchange recipes.

lydia and amanda have been best friends for as long as anyone can remember. it sometimes seems like lydia is just amanda's sidekick, but she just prefers to step out of the way and do her part from behind the scenes. it's less stressful for both of them.

amanda hates candles. just can't stand them. they smell too strong, or never smell right, or they pose a fire hazard, or the shape doesn't fit the vibe she's going for.

related to that i think amanda has some pretty strong sensory aversions, especially to smells and certain textures

milo's backpack is essentially a pocket dimension. it's his hammerspace, so he doesn't need to think too much about what fits or not. he packs it every morning, but the stuff basically comes from already in that hammerspace. there are times when he packs the wrong things (which we see in one episode), but that's because they aren't stored in the backpack and are instead inaccessible to him

basically im saying milo is mary poppins and he can hypothetically access anything he needs at any time. issues only arise when he is caught unaware and unprepared, and that is very rare

milo and sara really like going to creeks. especially when they were little they would go to the nearest creek or pond and wade and look for creatures in the water

baljeet ran a boy bands fan blog back when the lumberzacks were active. he was shouted out once on their old social media and it's still one of his proudest accomplishments.

this isn't really an mml hc but baljeet kind of reminds me of a friend who runs a blog and a youtube channel about some really niche tech and programming stuff, and is also just a normal guy on the internet, so i think baljeet probably does smth similar

amanda and melissa have been academic rivals for a long time, but they have a mutual understanding and it's never gotten nasty. bradley thinks he's melissa's academic rival but honestly she doesn't see him as competition at all

bradley has a pretty big sweet tooth. i'm basing this off the whole carla thing if it wasn't obvious, but he definitely stops by coffee shops after school and gets the sweetest drink he can. ice cream fan as well

tbh i unfortunately do not think much about mort or chad. i dont have any hcs about them

same with the murphy parents :( i like them a lot but i dont have any thoughts abt them rn

elliot is bradley's older cousin who never really got along with him but their parents made them hang out when they were little. i'm going off vibes only here

okay so yeah that's all i can think of for now!!! i'm sure i will think of more later lmao but anyways. mml is such a good show

[fuckinghomepage]

FEBRUARY 7, 2024

IT'S FUCKING WEDNESDAY.

WORDS OF WISDOM OF THE FUCKING DAY:

FRIENDS SHOW THEIR LOVE IN TIMES OF TROUBLE, NOT IN HAPPINESS.

EDUCATE YOUR IGNORANT ASS:

THE TEEN SLANG DICTIONARY FOR DUMBASS PARENTS. more>>

FUCKING MIND-BLOWING BOOK OF THE DAY:

HOW TO BUILD A WELL-LIVED LIFE. more>>

USEFUL SHIT OF THE GODDAMN DAY:

FEED YOUR FUCKING PLANTS. more>>

WEBSITE OF THE FUCKING DAY:

RECIPES INSPIRED BY GEEKY SHIT. more>>

AWESOME-AS-SHIT VIDEO OF THE DAY:

HOW THE FUCK DO WE KNOW HOW OLD EARTH IS? more>>

[soulsilvers]

ult kantrio headcanon masterpost

⬇ here i will be compiling as much as possible of my very specific hcs about my favourite play dolls from pokemon that ive rambled about everywhere else, usually at 3 in the morning. and will be updating this post whenever i will. this is still just a small percentage of everything going on in my head lmao. ⬇

does not include futureverse, give it time in the oven.

RED 💖

mute boy born to a family of jolly, talkative and enthusiastic fishers. they make this their entire personality and reds house is very fishing themed. hes... absolutely not as enthusiastic as a kid and sick of the smell of fish, but enjoys it as an adult.

his pikachus a much bigger beast than most pikas in comparison. Supreme Champion.

during G1 he is very polite and well mannered in contrast to green and leaf. his room is tidy and he goes to bed early. though he defends all dumb rowdy shit leaf pulls anyway. this is reflected in his pkmn being more of the gentle giant sort.

he has learned a lot of cooking + baking skills from his mom and the smell of his outdoor cooking can instantly summon leaf and green (reluctantly) to him during G1. he is a huge sweet tooth as well and prefers tea over coffee.

only looks retired as an adult; often sleepy and napping and walking everywhere in crocs. boring as hell but hey its endearing when red does it. but he is very much in peak physical strength and still quickly sweeping other trainers' teams. despite his usual serene demeanor he can still go for the most rash decision and just go apeshit w his pokemon.

TERMINALLY OFFLINE. no way is he going to understand what "ratioing team rocket epic style big W" is going to mean. types bluntly, like your dad. last tweet from him was six years ago, a 240p quality video about encountering an ursaring in a hut in the middle of the woods.

his usual pokeball throw resembles a baseball pitch.

exactly just as geeky as he is athletic. he enjoys the battle tree, but he still wishes for more. his dormant interest in wildlife biology and conservation that he had as a child is soon reignited and hes gonna get that PhD.

enjoys haunted locations too much. even leaf is confused by this! he decides to buy the shittiest abandoned house. which is also haunted. but reds eyes sparkle as always, man is FLEXING and determined to renovate this thing while green is frantically experiencing literally every emotion at once from jumpscares to "huh red knowing how to renovate is kinda ehehehe" then again pacing around sobbing over what were they thinking buying this house.

GREEN 💚

his and daisy's mother was a musician with a similar personality to him. his father, prof. oak's son, was more like daisy and a humble gardener w grass pkmn by his side. neither were too interested in battling or going on adventures.

he is extremely multifaceted when it comes to styles and music tastes, for example. somehow this man can combine prep, jock, geek, stoner and punk rock to his style all at once. his music taste is ALL.

nowadays his eevee is sporting the same hairstyle as him.

millennial still trying to make his podcast a big thing. his poke-twitter is fairly professional. relatively offline, not hip enough for zoomer trainers.

a francoboo. had his boy crazy era in kalos and thus more experienced than red when it comes to relationships. some of his french ex bfs still chase after him but shit bricks every time red answers the door instead.

at least he got them to take good fancy pictures of him in kalos. and he cooks kalosian recipes quite well, spoiling red with those nicely decorated crepes. but likely he experienced some paris syndome too. when you realize lumiose city kinda often smells like piss...

not very artistic. he draws like a 5 year old.

bad at figuring out what lesbians like. he buys leaf ellen degeneres merchandise :(

hes just kind of. eternally stuck in 90s slang and still having his default insults be so hilariously lame they wouldnt sting anyone. like buttcheek.

this is a more recent thing about my design for him but his left eyelid is perpetually droopier than the other.

LEAF 💙

showed up inexplicably in pallet town one day and simply asserted herself. no further elaboration. her origins remain a mystery. she biked all the way inside oak's lab and kept biking.

diversity win! in this universe leaf is closer to being an "ash counterpart" than red is.

since shes always seeking new thrills, she lives in a van as an adult. it looks pretty amazing and cozy from the inside and plenty of room to cook! on the outside theres like. airbrushed venusaurs and wizards and venusaur wizards of all sort.

a big ball of positive meatheadness to the point where shell def blow up a lot of things thinking everythings gonna be just fine. some people want her dead for this.

absolutely will put anything in her mouth and sometimes this is terrifying. tries to always make her cooking look like something "fun" and colorful that kids would enjoy but usually fucks up the look.

on-off relationships with women, she makes a new rival with lgbt undertones every two months. popular gal like that. dont ask her for relationship advice.

quite online and very charming. types like cher on social media. still, she remains popular and loved amongst the youth.

had a geocities in 2004 where she documented her adventures (bc i want G1 to be as 2004 as possible like that). it was an eyesore to look at.

often forms a trio with may and kris and they go on roadtrips eeeeverywhere. they either love her one day or think of her as a dumpster fire personified the next day.

[barwithnodoors]

Thyme Variant Tea

And alcoholic take on the recipe from the Avengers Campus Cookbook.

1 cup of water

1 cup of mead wine

1 cinnamon stick

1/2 a medium Granny Smith apples (cored and sliced)

1 green tea bag

2 sprigs of fresh thyme

In a medium saucepan bring water, mead, cinnamon stick, and apples to boil and turn to low and simmer for 2 minutes. Take off the head and add tea and thyme. Leave to steep for 10 minutes.

Strain and chill. Serve over ice.

[geekswhoeat]

Scream Snack Mix: A Scream VI Inspired Recipe

Scream Snack Mix: A Scream VI Inspired Recipe

You know we can’t resist creating a new horror-themed recipe. Scream VI is one of this year’s most highly anticipated horror films so of course, we had to create a new recipe. Since everyone went absolutely nuts for the Cinemark popcorn buckets, we created our own along with an easy and tasty Scream Snack Mix to go along with it. In Scream VI, “following the latest Ghostface killings, the four…

[pretzel-mansion]

Everyone should love french onion soup as much as me.

Everyone should go to this one specific restaurant in my state and have their very first french onion soup there. Everyone should go to this restaurant with their family multiple times over and over without ever touching the soup, but seeing them enjoy it each time. Everyone should eventually be convinced to try 'just a little bite' and find that they love the soup and regret avoiding it until then. Everyone should appreciate the soup's wonderfully meaty broth, its jammy onions, mushy bread, and its layers on layers of funky cheese overflowing and frying to a nice crisp onto its bowl.

Everyone should order it every time they go to that restaurant, even if it makes them too full for the entree.

Everyone should try ordering french onion soup at a different restaurant, and be terribly disappointed about how bad it was. Everyone should wonder how this restaurant could have messed up such an admittedly time-consuming but simple soup. Everyone should order the french onion soup at another restaurant, and another, and another, trying to find one that reaches the glorious heights of the first restaurant. Everyone should find that the search for the perfect soup hardly ever proves fruitful.

Everyone should be willing to try another restaurant.

Everyone should be able to describe why each restaurant failed to make the soup well: poor broth, cheap bread, not enough cheese, the wrong type of cheese, sometimes even rotten cheese (How can you even mess up the cheese?). Everyone should be able to tell if the soup is good or not before they even taste it, the smell and look tells much. Everyone should make this search for the perfect soup known to their friends, even though it may make them seem odd and particular. Everyone should try to express the beauty of the first restaurant's french onion soup, and fail to have their words hit their friends tongues. Everyone should try expressing to their friends why the current soup they're having could have been better.

Everyone should find that the waitress was right next to them this entire time - "No, everything's fine."

Everyone should listen to this one specific podcast, which was supposed to be a ttrpg game, but temporarily became a love song for the glorious soup. Everyone's stomach should beg for that soup as they listen, doing sweaty groundskeeping work in the blazing summer heat. Everyone should end up at a geeky restaurant in Toronto, and find it is serving a french onion soup as a reference to that very podcast.

Everyone should be told by the waiter, "We're out".

Everyone should learn to cook, not necessarily for the soup, but because it's a good skill to learn and an art to master. Everyone should realize along their cooking journey, that they have gained the proper knowledge and skills to make french onion soup. Everyone should cry, and cry, and cry as they cut, and cut, and cut the exorbitant amount of onions required for this soup. Everyone should stare at the pot, terrified those precious onions may burn and ruin the soup. Everyone should forget the 100% necessary fancy brown miniature bowl that every french onion soup seems to come in, and settle for a mug instead. Everyone should serve it to an excited group of fellow french onion soup lovers, but leave them in a hungry wait as the cheese broils. Everyone should be able to see that the soup looks amazing, but have their smell disagree. Everyone should be crushed to discover, on tasting, that they used the wrong type of cheese (You can mess up the cheese.).

Everyone should be willing to try another recipe.

[fangirleaconmigo]

First off- I adore your Witcher Meta. It's exactly the kind of stuff I love to read and you lay it out SO well.

So that makes you the perfect person to ask: is there any canon backing up the common headcanon of Geralt (or other Witchers) not being able to cook well?

Ahhh thank you so much. I still get a bit self conscious about how extra I am, how detailed I can get, so I am very grateful I’ve found people just as nerdy as I am 😅

As far as book canon only, the only Kaer Morhen witcher I can remember being referred to as a bad cook, is Lambert! (People can correct me if they remember something else obv)

In general, it seems like they eat pretty well.

For Triss’s first dinner at Kaer Morhen, they served her “beer potage, thick with croutons and cheese,” and they drank cider, all of which sounds amazing.

The Geeky Chef made this potage which yes, looks absolutely delicious.

Then for breakfast the next day they served her porridge.

Kaer Morhen doesn’t have servants (maybe they did in the old days when the mages were there but not anymore) and they cook for themselves and so I feel like they eat quite well, even during long winters. Maybe rustic and simple but comfort food.

My headcanon is that Vesemir is the best cook, due to his experience and patience and role in caring for the keep. But I think Geralt, Eskel, and Cöen are no slouches, and if you let them make the meals they love, they feed each other well and put their little individual flourishes on there. I mean Geralt LOVES food. I can put a “Geralt and Food” post together if anyone is interested.

But as for Lambert, here is what Cöen says in Blood of Elves. He is training Ciri and they’re getting tired and starting to think about dinner.

“I’m not tired, I’m hungry.”

“Bloody hell, so am I. And today’s Lambert’s turn and he can’t cook anything other than noodles…if he could only cook those properly…”

So it seems like they take turns, and that at least Cöen does not look forward to Lambert’s turn.

Me, I’m a Lambert. My sisters get together usually weekly to have dinner and whenever I volunteer to cook, everyone else “kindly” insists I do not go to the trouble. 😂😂😂😂

If I remember correctly, TWN put a little reference to this into season two. However, I haven’t rewatched S2 yet so don’t quote me on that.

Also, I must mention at this point @artanisnaanie has a fic called In the Kitchen of a Keep in the Mountains. She is a nerd about medieval cooking and the fic has a chapter and recipe for each character and it’s really fantastic. I recommend checking it out!

Thanks again ♥️

[madegeeky]

Thanks again for the great map, Garrett. Especially love that basement bit.