#GOD I FEEL SO BAD IM GENUINELY SLIGHTLY PANICKING

[ask-the-bastard-boss]

HEY HI SORRY TO ASK BUT. DID I SEND IN AN ASK AS MOON EARLIER OR IS MY MEMORY FAILING ME? IF YOU JUST HAVENT REPLIED THATS FINE I JUST GENUINELY CANT REMEMBER IF I ACTUALLY SENT IT OR NOT 💔

\\NONO YOURE FINE I JUST SAW IT 💔💔

Modven saw it at like 7 or so. And fell back asleep so I thought it was a fuckinh dream HE

GOD IM SO SO SO SO SORRY I SAW IT LATE

God i feel like a fucming ass im so sorry

[csprslvt]

you and i, and her. pt.12

Chapter 11

Summary: It takes almost losing Ellie for reader to learn how to love, but Ellie was okay with that, as long as you stayed with her.

Warnings: Fluff, lovey dovey bullshit, swearing and foul language. A chapter that is easy on the heart before shit goes down. Reader once again, doesn't deserve Ellie. But she loves you anyways.

You clung to Ellie until you were embarrassed and let go. But she seemed to enjoy your display of affection, she hesitated when you unraveled your arms from around her neck. You parted but her hands were still around your waist until they awkwardly pulled away from you entirely.

“So you really were bitten?”

“A long time ago. When I was like 14, It healed and scarred and I covered it up.”

You looked down at Ellies tattooed arm, reaching out and gently grabbing it, tracing the ink. She let you. It was like she wanted every touch from you that she could possibly get. Now, while the two of you sat in a comfortable quiet you really wanted to tell her everything. Tell her about the WLF, about Abby, about the locket you still wore, about how sorry you were that you had chosen someone else who left you over Ellie who had only supported you. You didn't deserve Ellie. You wanted to hide in her arms and apologize over and over. You felt so guilty it was eating you up inside.  

“Ellie”

“Hm?”

“I'm sorry” you mumbled, fingers tracing her tattoo, you looked down at it. Eye contact was suddenly difficult. But Ellie wasn't having that, she grabbed your chin and tilted you up to look at her. The concern in her eyes melted your soul entirely

“What are you sorry for?”

“Ellie, I'm not a good person.” 

She was holding you with both of her hands now stroking your cheeks, your own arm fell into your lap.

“What do you mean y/n? You're my best friend.” 

Oh the tone in her voice, so full of love made you want to cry.

“I've done some horrible things all because I was stuck on someone but I don't wanna be stuck on her anymore… I want to be a better person, and I want to be a good person.”

“Y/n you are a good person.” Ellie was confused, where was this certain outburst coming from?

“Ellie, you make me want to be better.” you whispered, “ I just want you. I just wanna be with you” 

“Do you mean that?”

The look you gave her was so genuine she felt like she was crumbling, all her walls of defense being knocked down just for you.

 She didn't need words after that, instead she pulled you closer, she hesitated before her gaze fluttered down to your lips. She leaned in and she kissed you. In that moment everything bad and evil fell away. It was just so full of Ellie,her slightly rough hands holding you softly, her scent of clean laundry and gunpowder replacing the overwhelming sensation of pine that you once held close to your heart, the feeling of warmth spreading everywhere she touched. Wrapping your arms around her neck, you have never kissed anyone so desperately, so passionately so full of emotion and vulnerability. As if to communicate through showing affection. Every bit of love and care you had was put into that kiss and when she pulled away you were both breathless.

But when Ellie mistook the dazed look in your eyes with regret and she panicked.

“Im sorry, oh my god, Im-”

“Shhh, shut up.” You told her before kissing her again. This time it was gentle, careful, and sweet. You pulled away, foreheads touching, brushing her hair behind her ear.

“I've wanted to do that for a long time, I just didn't realize that you wanted it too.” Ellie said with a happy, relaxed expression

“I didn't know I wanted to until you did it.”  

“I didn't expect to make a move.”

“I know, your a total loser who can hardly talk to girls”

“Only pretty girls, like you”

You wrinkled your nose in disgust, “Ellie, that was a horrible attempt at flirting.”

She chuckled, kissing your wrinkled nose. “ Well I tried”

“Don't do it again.”

“Okay y/n” 

She was so happy, it was written all over her face. You made her happy. You could only hope it would stay that way at least for now you could enjoy a little extra time with her before it all fell apart. Right now you shoved those thoughts away, you were so full of Ellie. She made herself a  home inside your heart without even realizing it. You needed her, you wanted her. And she felt the same way about you.

You explored the theater, moving hand in hand. Hers rubbing little movements into your knuckles.Sometimes she would take your entwined fingers and kiss the back of your hand. She was so entirely adoring of you. And that fact made your heart soar. 

Ellie, Ellie, Ellie. 

She appeared in every corner of your mind, and it took almost thinking you'd lose her to see it. But she took you over like some sort of lovesick disease that could not be stopped. So you took a deep breath and let it happen. You let yourself love her. And you let yourself let go of any and all hesitation. You were grateful to your first love for all her lessons and trials and tribulations but it was time to move on. And maybe if you did, Ellie would still want you at the end of this.

Walking into a large room with a big screen Ellie took you onto the stage. You grabbed her hands and set them on your waist, resting yours on her shoulders. You already knew what she was up to;

“I was gonna say, may I have this dance, but you beat me too it” She grinned

“I knew what you were thinking pulling me up here”

It was a sweet moment, it was nice to leave every worry behind and sway with Ellie to non existent music. It made your mind so empty, only able to look and admire her. You leaned close to her and she held you, breathing you in and letting her own hands wander your back, rubbing your shoulders. She was just so caring, it showed in every touch, every look, every stare. It was impossible not to fall for someone like that.

“Y/n?”

“Yes?”

“Promise me you'll stay with me.”

Without hesitation, you answered.

“I promise.”

“I've lost everyone I have ever loved, but I can't lose you. Stay with me”

“I'm with you as long as you want me.”

“I would never not want you.”

You could only hope that was true.

“Then you don't have to worry about me.”

Ellie let go of all her tension and simply held you. You said you wouldn't go anywhere and she believes you. That was enough for her. 

Eventually you pulled a part and went back to focus on the plan. The plan you dreaded so deeply. This entire time you worried about how this would end. You didn't know if you could stomach having the love of your present kill the one of your past. But you would have to hope that Ellie would leave this delusion that avenging Joel would make her happy. It wouldn't. Only healing could save her.

You gathered all your supplies and spread it out. Taking note of what was running low. Ellie was still doting on you, she was mystified. Totally taken with you. She was careful with your things and sat close enough that your knees brushed together, one of her hands rested on her thigh while you spoke.

“Where do we go from here?”

“Honestly I'm not sure, I heard something about Hillcrest…”

Ellie took out her map and pointed,

“This is where the TV station was…” she pointed and crossed out several areas on the map, places you had been.

“They have numerous locations.” her fingered circled Hillcrest, “There are some here I need to take care of.”

“Then we go tomorrow?”

“We go tomorrow”

“I will be ready as long as you are” You'd told her, she smiled

“Thank you y/n.”

“Always”

No matter what, you would always want Ellie, always be there waiting even when she ultimately didn't want you anymore. If only you had known, how soon that would really be.

[goldengoddess]

dance with me? - kaz brekker

request: uh hi! i don’t think you’re taking requests at this time but there is just something that i can’t get out of my head. it would be a kaz x reader and they go in a job at a ball. they have to dance together to blend in so that means touching. so reader lets him squeeze her hand or something to take his mind off his past and stuff but he like hurts the reader and then feels really bad about it or something. i hope you like this and i LIVE FOR YOUR WRITING. um thanks i guess🖤🖤

a/n: ballroom dancing scenes!!!! yes,,, im a whore for these and oh my god this is so long totally got away from me <3333

warnings: heist stuff, touch aversion? and one mention of a gun

this is not how you thought your night was going to go.

honestly, it wasn't how the night was meant to go. but heists almost never go the way they're meant to.

even so, when you woke up that morning the last place you expected to be was dancing in a ballroom with kaz brekker.

the heist was at one of the more upscale parties thrown by some wealthy mercher. the original plan had involved you, kaz, nina, and of course, inej. you and nina would come through the front doors of the party with some fake papers that kaz had been able to retrieve. the two of you would be dressed extravagantly, nina more so than you. nina was meant to take all of the attention of the night, so no one would notice as you tried to take the necklace right off of a woman's neck.

kaz would sneak in through another door, dressed as a guest, but much more conspicuously. he would be your backup on the floor, if he got the opportunity to do your job, he would take it. and inej was jumping around rooftops on lookout, just in case any other gangs got any ideas or any of the plan was leaked.

that's how things were meant to have worked out. in and out, not raising any alarms, and walking out half a million kruge richer.

halfway through the night though, as you kept your eyes on the target dancing around the room, kaz appeared at your side. you raised your eyebrows, looking at him over the cup of kvas in your hand. the two of you had agreed that as a group you'd pretend you didn't know each other. the less interaction, the less chance of suspicion.

kaz tilted his head towards nina. you turned your attention to the girl in the pretty red dress. she was surrounded by people wanting to touch her, talk to her, just like she had been the rest of the night. you looked back at kaz with a confused look on your face. 'what about her' you tried to relay with your eyes.

he lifted his arms and motioned to one tall man in a black and white suit, watching her. you tried not to linger too much on kaz's ungloved hands but you did anyway. but then you noticed the very distinct outline of a gun strapped to the man's thigh.

you sucked in a breath and turned to kaz in panic. this party was strictly no weapons. you had a small knife tucked into your corset but you knew that there was no way to win a gunfight with a knife. and if that man was armed it meant he wasn't alone. and that he meant trouble. and he was looking in your direction. there was no way the two of you would be able to get that necklace now.

kaz seemed to search for something in your eyes. he had his scheming face on, as jesper had dubbed it. you could tell the moment he made a decision one what to do next because he physically grimaced.

slowly, and with evident hesitation, kaz lifted up his hand in an inviting gesture. your eyes furrowed in confusion and stared at his pale hand. he nudged it toward you and whispered "c'mon" under his breath.

you straightened our back and placed your hands firmly on your hips, "what exactly are you asking me to do."

he rolled his eyes in annoyance, but you knew him well enough to notice the way his hand was shaking. he was nervous. he was panicking.

"i'm asking you to dance with me. now take my hand. now."

he didn't wait for you to take in what he was saying and he grabbed your hand from your hip. he dragged you onto the dance floor, you only had a couple of seconds to pull up your heavy dress before tripping on it.

kaz placed a hand on your dressed hip. you rested your hand on his shoulder. he lifted your joined hands and pulled you a little bit closer.

and then he started to dance.

correction, he started leading you in a dance.

for a couple of seconds you were so shocked, by the feeling of kaz's hand in yours, by the closeness of your bodies, by the fact that the two of you were now dancing in a room full of the wealthy elite, that you could almost ignore the way kaz's entire body was trembling.

you pulled your body away from his slightly when you noticed, giving him more room but not letting go of his hand, not letting the act drop and calling unwanted attention to yourselves.

"kaz" you whispered and squeezed his hand gently. he finally looked you in the eyes and your heart almost shattered at the look in his eyes. you gave his hand another squeeze and tilted your head to the side, "are you um are you okay?"

he let out a shaky breath. he squeezed your hand back quickly, his face showed the slightest amount of relief at the motion. you furrowed your brows and gave his hand another squeeze, and he mimicked your motion. you raked your eyes up and down his body and his trembling had slightly stopped.

"squeeze" you whispered and looked around the rest of the ballroom.

"what?" you heard him say.

"just squeeze my hand. if it'll help" you whisper shouted at him. your emberassment wouldn't let you look in his direction.

but you felt him start to slowly squeeze your joined hands. his strength surprised you and within a few seconds, he was full-on squeezing your hand. you bit the inside of your cheek to stop a pained whimper from leaving your lips.

you could tell the motion was helping kaz calm down, helping him focus on something else other than the closeness of the two of you.

he led you around the room in dance for a couple of more minutes, the two fo you didn't say anything. kaz focused on not focusing on you. and you focused on kaz's tight ass grip.

he was a good dancer. better than you expected him to be. his grip on your thigh was feather-light, but he didn't falter in his direction and didn't lose his lead at any moment. it was easy for you to slip into this act. you had to stop yourself from leaning your head onto his shoulder, from letting yourself slip into the fantasy of being a princess with a handsome, non-murderous, prince. this was dirty hands himself not prince charming. regardless, you wanted to ask him where he had learned to dance like that.

then, inej, sneaky as she is, appeared at your side holding a very familiar ruby necklace. "got it" she grinned and then slipped away before you could get a word in.

then, as you turned to say something to kaz, nina showed up on the opposite side of the two of you. her attention switched to your joined hands and smirked, and then she looked at kaz and nudged her head towards the exit. "uh i recommend we get going guys, inej isn't as skilled at stealing as you two so we better get out of here. quick."

she started prancing out the door and kaz started dragging you away, following behind nina. you looked around and noticed a couple of scary-looking men were facing you and kaz. he let go of your hand as you quicken your pace and then all four of you were running down the streets. anything to get as far away from that place as possible before guns started going off.

a couple of blocks later all four of you stopped in an ally to catch your breath. kaz was rubbing his bad leg, tenderly. nina was laughing with inej, clearly, the two of them were pumped up with adrenaline.

you, on other hand, were shaking your hand to relieve some of the soreness you were starting to feel. you did it close to your body so the others wouldn't notice but of course, the professional criminals who stayed alive by noticing noticed.

"y/n, what happened to your hand?" nina asked, her smile being playful.

at this, kaz's head snapped your way from where he was looking. his eyes darted between your face and your hand.

you looked away and gave nina a very casual smile, "nothing, i'm good. i hit it on a wall or something when we were running here. just a little sore. now how about we see that necklace inej?"

after a couple of minutes of walking and joking around with the girls, bragging about the beautiful gems, they walked ahead of you and kaz.

your steps lined up with his, so when he slowed down slightly, conveniently out of ear range of nina and inej, you slowed down too.

you waited for him to speak. but were still shocked when he said, "i'm sorry"

you didn't look at him, just continued walking forward. "you have nothing to be sorry for kaz. we both did what we had to do to make sure we all got out of there alive. no harm no foul."

he scoffed a little, "saints you're starting to sound like me." you smiled slightly at that and glanced his way to find him already looking at you, knowing it was true. he continued on there was harm, is your hand okay?"

you nodded your head, "yeah. i'm all good, genuinely. but now i know you probably have a very solid handshake."

he chuckled and then got very serious. he looked you in the eyes as the two of you walked, "thank you. i needed that. i probably would have passed out if it weren't for you." the last words were whispered. you knew how hard it was for kaz to admit weakness so you understood.

"anything i can do to help", you smiled, "plus i got a free dance out of it. you are one good dancer dirtyhands." you teased him.

and surprisingly he teased right back, "maybe we could do it again sometime then?"

[sanutopia]

Reacquainted [F,A]

jeong yunho (ateez) x reader

Request: Hi can I request a yunho scenario where it’s been a year since your break up and somehow you guys end up meeting and getting back together

word count: over 1500?? i think

a/n: im sorry if this plot seems overdone or if it seems a little rushed towards the end, i’ve been having super bad writers block but i wanted to finish this before i studied for a final im taking this weekend :( other than that i hope you like it!! also i thought id let you know i miss ateez more than anything and need to see them immediately bye 

fluff, angst

“Seriously y/n? You have to get out more!” 

Your coworker, Collin, has been trying to get you to go out after work with him almost everyday for the past month. Sure, you could say yes just so he’ll be quiet, but he’s always been the wild type and that just wasn’t your scene. You used to have things to do after you got off work, like snuggle with Yunho, watch stupid movies that both of you could quote line after line, and eat all the takeout in the world (plus a whole bottle of red wine). But after you started this job about a year ago, your stress levels were at an all time high and work was catching up to you. The movie nights stopped, your happiness was dwindling, and although you didn’t mean it, the frustrations regarding your job were taken out on Yunho. You came home agitated and tired, and Yunho felt day after day the distance growing between you both. You both cared for each other and had each others best interest in mind, which is why you decided to break up. Since then, it’s been the same thing everyday; you wake up, go to work, come home, and go to bed. You only started getting closer to Collin a few months back, considering your desks are right next to each other. He was distracting, which was what you needed to get your mind off of Yunho.

“By ‘getting out’ do you mean going to the club and getting drunk with you? Not my thing.” You continue finishing your last report of the day, too concentrated to listen to what Collin was saying. 

“Well you need to meet some people! I feel like I’m the only person you’ve spoken more than 3 words to since you started working here.” 

He turns around in his chair and scoots it closer to where you’re typing away on your computer. You roll your eyes and scoff, finally turning your chair around to face him. 

“If I say yes, will you shut up?” he smiles when he hears your answer, “Yes, actually, I will.”

“Me and a few people are getting together on Friday night for dinner. You can bring a date if you want. Casual thing, you in?” 

You sigh and roll your eyes once more. “It’ll just be me, no date.” 

“Cool, then I’ll introduce you to one of my old friends. Don’t think he has a date either.” 

For the next couple of days you contemplate this whole possibly meeting a date thing. It’d be nice to enjoy some time out of the office with some work friends and to meet some new people. At the same time, you can’t stop thinking about Yunho. You weren’t sure that you wanted to get introduced to another guy, seeing as you still weren’t over him even after a year. It just didn’t feel right. Regardless, you go the next few days looking forward to this weekend. 

Come Friday, you get ready for dinner, dressing casual since Collin made you promise to not get too dressed up. You still looked classy, though, because God knows what guy Collin brought to introduce to you. Collin texted you the location of the restaurant and it turned out to be a few blocks from your apartment. It was the restaurant right next to the little diner where you and Yunho used to get chocolate milkshakes every Friday. The memory hits a soft spot and you contemplate bailing, but you wouldn’t hear the end of that at work on Monday, so ultimately, you decide against it. 

You enter the lobby where people are standing waiting to be seated and look around for Collin. You wander around the lobby and decide to stand against the wall, pulling out your phone to ask your co-worker where he is. As soon as you unlock it, you hear a laugh that is oh-so familiar along with a tone of voice that sends shivers down the expanse your back. 

“Oh, there she is- y/n!” you hear Collin shout. You slowly turn around and pray that he isn’t with him. Not that you don’t want to see him, you just hadn’t mentally prepared yourself to see his bright, smiling face again, or what you would say to him if he were in front of you. 

He’s towering over Collin like he does everyone, his hair is a darker shade of brown now, and if anything, he’s cuter than you remember. He looks just as nervous as you do, maybe more. Collin stands in the middle of you two and tries to make conversation. 

“Well, now we’re just waiting on the other two. They’ll probably be late... no shock there. Anyway... y/n, this is one of my friends from college, Yunho. We haven’t really talked but a few times since we graduated, so I figured we could catch up and get reacquainted. Yunho, this is y/n.” 

He softly smiles, as if he’s happy to see you and reaches to shake your hand. It’s warm and so much bigger than yours and you realize then how much you missed holding it and feeling it on your skin. 

“Nice to see you, y/n.” In a way, you’re surprised he’s acting like he’s never met you, but that would be a hell of a backstory to explain over dinner with your annoying co-worker, so you play along. 

Your other two co-workers eventually come, late as expected, and you all get seated at a huge circle table in the back of the dining room. Yunho sits next to you, partly because Collin basically forced him; not that he was complaining. It was awkward for the first fifteen minutes or so before everyone ordered drinks. The waiter got to you for your order and before you could say anything, Collin ordered for you. 

“She’ll have a glass of white wine. She needs to let loose a little.” He smiles at you as if he did you a favor, but you decline and ask for water instead. After seeing Yunho, you won’t be able to handle wine, because then you’ll be a crying slob on the floor. 

Yunho leans over slightly giggling, “You hate white wine.”

You finally let out the breath you didn’t know you were holding and giggle with him. “Red wine is so much better.” 

The rest of dinner consists of your three co-workers chatting about how they despise your boss while you and Yunho are at the other side of the table catching up. His voice is soft and gentle, sort of how it was when things were going smooth between you two. He looks genuinely happy, and that is your greatest wish come true. 

“You look beautiful as ever. It’s great to see you happy and not stressed. I’m taking it the job is going well?”

“I’ve gotten used to it now. Not as overwhelming as it was at first.”

You both spend the evening laughing about old memories while the other 3 slowly get more and more tipsy. The night ends with Collin and the other 2 going to the dive bar across the street so they can have some more beer. As you’re walking out, They invite you and Yunho to join. 

“Actually, I’m just gonna head home, I’m feeling a little tired.” 

You start to walk down the sidewalk until Yunho catches up to you. “Are you gonna walk by yourself?” you nod in response to him to which he scoffs and stays next to you. You know better than to think he would let you walk in the dark alone. He cares about you to much. He’s swaying as he walks, hands in his pockets since he’s not used to holding your hand. 

“Did you go out with anyone after-”

“No. Did you?”

He shakes his head no. That gives you a slight feeling of relief. You couldn’t imagine any other human loving Yunho aside from yourself. He was your first love and you thought he’d be the only one. You just didn’t know if he felt the same way. 

You get to the stairs of your apartment and fish the key out of your purse. You can feel Yunho’s presence behind you, but it almost seems as if he’s nervous. You hear him suck in a breath and then sigh. 

“Would you... wanna do dinner again sometime? Just me and you though?” 

You turn and look at his face. His cheeks are slightly blushed and his ears give away the fact that he’s flustered. He looks more nervous than when he asked you out the first time. 

“Are you asking me on a date, Yunho?” he nods slightly, and when you don’t respond immediately he starts panicking. “O-Or not.. If I got the wrong idea from tonight, or i-if you don’t want to give this another sh-”

You cut him off with a gentle kiss to his cheek which he swears electrifies his whole body. He always rambles when he’s nervous. His cheeks are even more red now, but his bright smile returns when he sees you pulling away, smiling back at him. 

“Does that answer your question?” 

“That’s one way to put it.”

The door is opened and you’re standing inside now staring at Yunho, who is standing on the doormat almost looking sad he has to leave you now. He goes to tell you goodbye and slightly starts to turn away from you. 

“I missed you, Yunho. A lot.”

“I missed you too. More than I could describe.” 

You open the door a little wider and motioned him to come in, to which obviously he accepts. You place your hands on his shoulders and reach up to delicately kiss his lips. He welcomes you and wraps his arms around your waist, then moving them up to cradle your head. As you pull away, his thumb brushes your cheek. 

“Feeling you kiss me again makes me not wanna stop.” 

You put your hand on top of his, “Stay the night...please...” 

He kisses your forehead, “I’d stay here forever if that’s what you asked.”

That night, you were finally reacquainted to the feeling of Yunho cradling you as you slept on his chest, and you swear you’ve never slept so sound until now.

-----END-----

[zuffer-weird-girl]

Would you be willing to write a scenario about Kai's s/o going in to labor and the delivery? Maybe just Kaito?

Lets give plague doctor more heart attacks :D

Honestly? You deserved at minimun a pat on your back, because carrying a child is not easy... and aparently carrying a Chisaki inside you was equal to hell.

Deadly cramps, torturous nauseas and dear lord even comenting the word 'peas' left you wanting to pull all of your stomach out.... all of this for exactly seven months and a half already.

The baby was surely a fighter. His kicks were dead ass strong and ever time it was a bad one, you would wince in pain while supporting yourself on somewhere.

This baby was going to knock you out at some point...

Ever time Kai notice that this was happening he would place his entire gloved and scold his unborn child.

'Not even in here and are already causing trouble brat? Be good to your mother or we might have trouble.'

It was always in that same no emotions present tone of voice of his but you could see the genuine adoration in those usual cold golden eyes.

Although today you were feeling quite... normal.

No deadly kicks, neither the urge to puke ans surprisingly your feets weren't sore!

What a great day!

You got up from your chair to grab something to eat as you carresed slightly your belly on the way.

Although when you were already half the hall you started to feel dizzy and had to support yourself omwith one hand on the wall.

"Woah not looking great there miss. You good?" You heard Mimic's voice but when you looked down you just saw a black blur.

"Y-Yeah..." you took a shaky step "I guess."

"You guess?" Mimic spoke in sarcasm while Chrono coincidentally entered. Irinaka pointed to you for Kurono to see as he also made a slightly concerned face.

Before the man could ask what was going on, you felt as if a hammer had hit you in the gut while you howled in pain, no longer holding back the discomfort or the recent, unbearable pain.

Chrono and Mimic were immediately on your side when you almost fell to the ground. In your mind passes a thought that scared you to no ends and just to confirm you lowered your hand lower to push it back to see that your terrors were true.

Blood and other fluid... your water bag broke... The baby was coming earlier.

You let out a bloody scream at seing this and another joilt of pain came into you.

"ShIT ShE'S DyInG?!"

"Of course fucking not Irinaka! Shut up!" Chrono went to lend you a shoulder but you stopped him.

"K-Kurono... P-Please... K-Kai.. H-Here." You said between breaths, trying to stal calm since you knew this was going to stress the fuck out of everyone... especially Chisaki.

Hari didn't even objected and ran looking for Chisaki as Irinaka came back into his human form to at least see if it helps.

"Breath chick, you're a fucking fighter to carry that little shit."

"MIMIC!" you shouted and the man apologized at seing the anger in your eyes.

~

Chisaki was currently looking at the medicals exams of his unborn son along with the first ultrasound picture. The boy was going to be here soon and after a very long time he felt anxious.

He flinched at the way the door of his office hitted the wall as Chrono shouted his name.

"What the hell Chrono? Lost your manners?" He said darkly while placing the documents inside of his drawer.

"(Y/N)." He said while pointing at your direction "She's bleeding."

In one blink of Kurono's eyes Chisaki was already running through the house while placing his mask up.

Shit. What had happened?! Were you okay?!

"Angel." He called, ignoring his horror at seing the state you were in, and kneeled on the floor.

"Baby... coming." You breath out while jolting in pain again.

Damn those contractions

He cringed at your whines but ignored his own discomfort and scooped you up in his arms in bridal style as he shouted for a precept to clean ths mess as long for Chrono to get the fuck in the car.

Mimic swore he saw the walls trembling.

~

"Count to ten angel." He said monoustly but the way his hands tremble slightly and the hint of desperation in his eyes told everthing.

You screamed as the car suddenly roughly spun aside, the last drop of patience on your husband completely gone.

"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT CHRONO?!"

"IM SORRY BUT A GUY ALMOST HITTED THE FUCKING CAR AND COULD HAVE KILLED US YOU KNOW?!" Poor Hari was consumed by both you and Overhaul's desperation.

"Oh my god both oF YOU SHUT UP!" You shouted causing both of them to be completly silent all the ride to the hospital.

He was going to talk to you about that later, but maybe it was a understatement since you were giving birth at this point.

~

Kurono had to hold back Chisaki when a bunch of nurses just pulled you out of Kai's arms and a doctor told him to wait outside.

His wife was giving birth to his soon son and he was supposed to wait OUTSIDE YOU FILFH UNPROFESSIONAL BASTARD?!

When a nurse came to Chrono, asking for him to get out of the room since only it was allowed the father, he arched one eyebrow at her and pointed with his palm at a very furious Chisaki, silently saying 'Im the one keeping the beast calm, you sure about that?'.

The nurse just gave him a apologetic look before, with the nerves on their skin of talking to a dangerous man of the yakusa, calling Overhaul.

The way Chisaki looked at them could be described as murderous and if he had a laser vision quirk the poor nurse would be already dead on the spot.

"I-I'm sorry! But you can enter now." She bowed apologetically while indicating the door for Chisaki.

He didn't even acknowledge her as he entered the room abruptly, ignoring many looks of the doctors and just making a bee line at you.

Despite your eyebags and squirming in pain figurine, you still manage to look angelic... just incredible.

"Angel, it's almost over." He said monoustly, a mix of pain and relief at seing the way you opened your eyes.

"Kai..." you whispered while crying... your hand desperately hilding the bed sheets as you cried out...

"Dad hold her hand!" A male nurse suggested and you almost laughed if it wasn't for the torturous pain you were in.

Someone was trying to give others to Chisaki? Your Chisaki Kai? Great joke.

Chisaki narrowed his eyes at the man befofe cringing at seing you crying again... you were in so much pain but yet refused to just grab his hand because you knew him.

He suddenly left to a quick bathroom and picked a hand sanitizer and a handkerchief.... the scene was almost comic to the doctors and nurses. A soon to be father wipping his wife's hand before holding it onto his gloved one.

"You don't change do you?" You whispered while smilling at him, pure appreciation and love on your eyes as you looked into those beautiful golden ones that you had fallen with.

"Why should I?" He said monotonously but you could see the hints of a smile behind that black face mask of his.

His hand suddenly cracked at your strenght as you turned your head away from him to muffle your screams.

...ouch.

The doctors were surprised because they LISTENED to his hand cracking and he was just... there. He suddenly glared at them with pire hate as his words spilled from his kouth like venom.

"Bunch of incompetents, my wife is having a kid and you just stand there without doing nothing? Move and help her before I lose my pacience bunch of filfh." They flinched before returning to their activities whiel Kai scoffed 'sicks' under his breath.

Your screams had stopped and your grip on his hand released, putting the pieces together he looked up and saw a tiny creature on the arms of one nurse.

"You did it." He amused out loud while you only let out a sleep deprived 'yay' before closing your eyes as you tried to catch your breath.

He picked the handkerchief and wiped your forehead gently before looking down at you.

"You're sweaty..."

"No shit sherlock I just gave birth." You said between breaths and giggles receiving a pinch on your arm along with a scoff of his.

"W-Why isn't he crying?" You suddenly breath out.

Shit. Is true. He haven't heard his son cries. He looked uo already with anger before he saw the doctor bringing a white blanket and handing rubbing the face of your new born to you.

"See mommy? Your baby is fine." He felt butterflies forming inside his stomach at seing the little boy face in contact with yours... you smilling tiredly but still manage to open your eyes to look at your son.

"Kaito... is so nice to meet you.." you teared up at seing your baby for the first time... he had his father looks.

He punched his chest to prevent any hints of despicable tears fron falling from his eyes but it was really damn difficult... Luckily he managed to stay with his stoic face at least.

The moment though he saw you closing your eyes he internally panicked.

"Angel." He grabbed your face and shook slightly, checking your pulse with his other hand and sighing in relief at feeling your heartbeat on his fingers.

"She is just tired, will come back as soon as she recuperates... would you like to hold your son mister?"

He eyed the doctor in suspicion before choosing to only look at his son, eyes secretly telling how much he was willing to do for this little one already.

"Place him on the crib for now. I want my wife to see the scene, she wouldn't leave me alone after knowing that I holded my son without her seing it." He spoke crudely amd coldly at the doctor bit they didn't seemed to mind at first.

The doctor nodded in understatement before placing the kid carefilly down on the crib, right besides Kai as he sitted on the edge of the bed... holding your hand in his gloved ones.

He took a glance at his sleeping son and decided to just carres the tip of his thumb on the chubby cheek.

He swore the kid just smiled at the contact... a simple contact... but it was rather a nice feeling.

"I made this brat..." he mused out loud for himself before smirking down at his son and bringing your freahly washed head to rest on him instead of the pillows of the hospital.

"Welcome to this world... Chisaki Kaito."

[if-the-crown-fits-translate-it]

Discord pt 90

[Date: 17/03, 02.33 PM GMT - 17/03, 03.53 PM GMT]

[This conversation was going on in #arg, partly simultaneously to another in #general. The second is referenced later and was posted separately before this one.]  

[Direct continuation of pt 89]

[After Void pointed out the gdoc change, Fetch added another message:]

[Added was: “Please don’t tell them please don’t tell them please just pretend you never saw this just please.”]

Void: “nvm may be just my bad internet fucking things up ignore me”

Jack the Observer: “Oh. I see it.

Little sunflower seeds in green and yellow :)”

[Maxwell: “Where do you see that?”]

Jack the Observer: “Ask fetch, I think. He’s the one who edits the blog”

Jack the Observer: “But it’s there, if you look.”

Maxwell: “Fetch....”

fetch: “It isn't though?? I'm looking at the doc right now and there's nothing about sunflower seeds”

Jack the Observer: “I can send pictures, fetch.

If you would prefer?”

Maxwell: “i cant find anything”

fetch: “jack. after yesterday do you really wanna push me.”

Jack the Observer: “Yeah, i kind of do, actually

I could

I feel like it’s important and relevant information”

Void: “fetch knows best about what is there just ignore what i said,,,,”

fetch: “yeah. let's just ignore it.”

Maxwell: “but you all said...seeds”

donti (e): “... fetch please, this is serious.. it could endanger everyone here”

Jack the Observer: “Sunflower seeds :) leaves in yellow and green. You think if i won’t let Max hide it, I’ll let you, Fetch?”

fetch: “jack. drop it. right fucking now with that stupid fucking smile.”

Jack the Observer: “You are, in fact, just as important as Max is.

Unfortunately.

And it’s imperative that we keep all of you safe.”

Maxwell: “that...is one of the nicest things ive heard you say to us....”

fetch: “i know the doc better than anyone. i know what's there and whats not. if I say there's nothing there then there's nothing there.”

Jack the Observer: “You put it there, Fetch.”

fetch: “there's nothing there.”

Jack the Observer: “ Uh huh. /s”

jaynoblade: “he's right. there's nothing there. i just looked”

fetch: “im not ignoring anything there's nothing there.”

Jack the Observer: “Jay, what the fuck”

jaynoblade: “genuinely. i just looked. nothing”

donti (e): “hey hey hHEYyyyy chill”

Jack the Observer: “Is it gone — wait”

fetch: “check for yourself, jack”

[Context: Fetch deleted his edits about the seeds.]

Jack the Observer: “Oh, no i still have it”

fetch: “as i said. there's nothing there.”

Jack the Observer: “I still have it. And i have more pictures if you want to see them.”

donti (e): “... seeds?”

Maxwell: “thats just an image of a previous thing?”

fetch: “how do i know you aren't just editing shit”

[donti (e): “... seeds?”]

Jack the Observer: “I’m trying to have Fetch tell you first.”

kateza: “Hi good morning what’s going on?”

Mothbo: “Jack saw something no one else did”

[fetch: “how do i know you aren't just editing shit”]

Jack the Observer: “Fetch. You know I don’t lie.”

[Mothbo: “Jack saw something no one else did”]

Jack the Observer: “Haha :)”

fetch: “but you sure as hell spout a lot of bullshit.

now for the last time. There's nothing. there. Fucking drop it.

please.”

Jack the Observer: “And now instead of knight you sound like Max

Crazy”

Maxwell: “what?”

Jack the Observer: ““Oh no, i don’t want to tell them, please i just want to suffer by myself and not accept any help even though I clearly need it, no everyone else is busy, everyone else is stressed, they can’t know please don’t tell them”

That’s what you sound like

And that’s what Fetch sounds like too”

fetch: “you better watch your fuckin mouth, pal.”

Mothbo: “Jack, that's not going to help them all. I know you're hurt cos of Syd but don't take it out on them.”

Maxwell: “....”

[Mothbo: “Jack, that's not going to help them all. I know you're hurt cos of Syd but don't take it out on them.”]

Jack the Observer: “I’m not angry, I’m amused. And I’ll admit, slightly frustrated. What is up with these people and their self esteem issues.”

fetch: “what's up with you and your attachment to someone that doesn't exist anymore?”

Maxwell: “.....fuck off”

Jack the Observer: “If you don’t tell them within the hour ill see you in #img”

[fetch: “what's up with you and your attachment to someone that doesn't exist anymore?”]

Jack the Observer: “Oh, so you don’t exist when Knight is out? Shut the fuck up”

Maxwell: “i....”

Jack the Observer: “I’m glad you’re not all acting so goody goody and nice talking me anymore. This is refreshing.”

[People tell Jack and Fetch to stop arguing with each other. That just solved nothing and there’s no time to waste]

fetch: “i don't have the energy to fight anymore. there's nothing in the doc, whatever you have is edited bullshit, end of story.”

Jack the Observer: “Okay, we’re just going to ignore someone purposefully endangering their own health then. Sounds good to me /s”

[kateza: “I just woke up, I’m assuming something supposedly happened with the doc, I’m assuming the edit history was checked can we please stop fighting I don’t like this”]

Jack the Observer: “I can see something important. I’m being forced to keep imperative information to myself. You can see why I might take issue with this.”

fetch: “i thought you loved keeping information to yourself. that's what an observer does right. he just takes in information and does nothing with it. he doesn't get involved.”

Jack the Observer: “This is different.”

fetch: “of course it is.

just drop it.”

donti (e): “ah.”

Jack the Observer: “Yeah it fucking is different, Fetch. We fucking need you on this team. We’re meant to just ignore when you’re hurting? We’re meant to ignore when you’re endangering yourself?”

fetch: “i said. drop it.”

Jack the Observer: “Holy fucking shit not everything is about Syd”

Jack the Observer: “Maybe this is just about you”

fetch: “well maybe I don't want to be paid attention to. i'm not a fucking zoo exhibit. just leave me the fuck alone.”

Jack the Observer: “I don’t know how many times? I have to say this? But if I saw you as nothing more than a “zoo exhibit” i literally wouldn’t care about this at all”

Void: “fetch, people will learn one way or another. please at least take the chance to tell them yourself?”

Jack the Observer: “Clock is ticking”

fetch: “there's nothing to tell. im fucking fine.”

Jack the Observer: “There you go, sounding like Max again”

kateza: “wait, ok, so now fetch supposedly has the buds? Is that’s what’s going on? No one is catchinng me up everyone’s just arguing”

Jack the Observer: ““I’m fine I’m fine” you’re clearly not.”

[kateza: “wait, ok, so now fetch supposedly has the buds? Is that’s what’s going on? No one is catchinng me up everyone’s just arguing”]

Jack the Observer: “I can see something. Fetch isn’t letting me tell anyone.”

fetch: “well MAYBE I DONT WANT YOUR FUCKING HELP.”

donti (e): “HEEEEY HEY

jacks doing what he can”

fetch: “YOU EVER THINK ABOUT THAT? YOU CANT FUCKING HELP ME.”

Jack the Observer: “...”

fetch: “QUIT TRYING.”

Jack the Observer: “...”

Jack the Observer: “...

...

that was a bit too loud for me, actually. Ill be in #img in fifty minutes.”

Jack the Observer: “good luck.”

fetch: “fine. i need a nap anyway.”

Maxwell: “......”

[People talk about how important it is to share information, especially with how the situation currently is, and that they’d have to work together if they were ever going to resolve anything about this problem. They then note that if this in-fighting continues, more and more people might be dragged into Crown’s court. But then…]

jaynoblade: “okay, this is somewhat off topic, but.... do we even really know who crown is? because we thought he was ranboo in enderwalk, but then in that one ask he implied that he isn’t”

Maxwell: “hes something else then....”

Maxwell: “uh small problem”

donti (e): “prince read the backlog.”

[This refers to the conversation that had been simultaneously going on in #general2.]

A random Spark: “I know...which means Prince probably now knows the deal with the three court members and why they're gone”

kateza: “which means we'll be having another mind wipe probably :/”

LLyr: “D:”

Maxwell: “OH NO OH NO OH NO”

Maxwell: “i...”

donti (e): “if we had explained it fae would be wiped and then we'd be in trouble.”

Maxwell: “can we tell faem? fae already know....”

Maxwell: “he only brought up me and fetch....should we tell him about marcus?”

donti (e): “... maybe?”

A random Spark: “It's a good idea to.”

LLyr: “if the dam has already broken, i dont see a reason to keep it hidden. maybe ask marcus what he thinks about it?”

Maxwell: “i wanna say his name...”

donti (e): “you already namedropped him,

go for it

he might as well get the facts.”

kateza: “i don't like this

i don't like where this is going”

Maxwell: “jack what did you put in images”

Jack the Observer: “What i promised i would.”

donti (e): “fetches entry.”

Maxwell: “hes..oh god”

Maxwell: “i messed up i messed up i messed up--”

kateza: “no no no

you tried to help max. you did what you thought was right and even if it didn't have the outcome you want you tried to do what was right and that's good of you”

Maxwell: “i made it worse no no no no”

Jack the Observer: “You calm down too.

Panicking isn’t going to help prince.

It’s fine. Let faem remember.”

[normal-thoughts-official]

I'm ignoring my responsibilities in favor of watching the All Malec Moments video compilation so get ready for a livewatch no one asked for

Hodge is so incredibly wrong about everything he says about Magnus and it's kind of impressive because all he says is heavily supported by the Clave's files, which. Is proof of how great Magnus is at manipulating them and having them think exactly what he wants them to, tbh. Especially considering that as much as Magnus closes off emotionally, he was always very caring and kind to all other downworlders and warlocks, like, they all know they can trust him, he was named HWoB, he has a thousand kids, he took them all into hiding, etc. But the Clave and circle members are still 100% sure he's a super greedy lothario who's good for nothing but partying, and like. Obviously it's because they racist but they have an intelligence system and a file full of pictures and information and it all seems to support what Hodge is saying about him. So like Magnus was quite literally living a double life, with a whole personality he put up for shadowhunters and enemies, and another for his allies and friends, and even that one isnt 100% him because he was still trying to protect himself by closing himself off from relationships. and thats fucking impressive like my man is so smart i love him

Their first official talk is so funny magnus literally goes "I'm magnus" and Alec goes "Alec" and then he smiles and then he just goes. "Oh yeah right we should uh we should go to the hmm youhavebeautifuleyes what's it called hm" and its hilarious because they exchanged three (3) words and Alec is already all lost because Magnus is just That Beautiful. also all Magnus has to do is introduce himself and Alec smiles for the first time in 4 episodes like bro. bro. seriously. help him

he's SO frustrated when Alec doesn't get the "i love a dirty lair" flirt like he does that little eyebrow raise and hes just like "what the hell i thought that was GOOD" but Alec's head is legit playing wii music

Magnus pays izzy for "defending the warlocks" i had forgotten about that and it makes me so soft ;-;

Magnus and Izzy were just vibing with magnus asking her what presents Alec likes and clary immediately interrupts to ask about the memory demon like homophobic from day one i guess

Magnus is positively impressed by the way Clary goes "I'll do anything to save my mother" you can see how much he values loyalty right then have i mentioned that i love him

we talk about the "I'm talking to you" part a lot but we never mention how Magnus just throws that one and yeets off with clary not even waiting for a reaction he's just like that's RIGHT bitch you have beautiful hazel eyes too! do with that what you will i am now summoning a demon goodbye forever

the second him and Clary are away from the rest he tells her not to trust anyone and to be careful, like... ugh he cares so much it's unreal and again very deliberate, flirt a little, give izzy a necklace, throw in some innuendos, make it seem like it's all very innocuous so no one bothers to follow them or listen in when he goes away with Clary alone, and then immediately warn her about the clave when he gets away from the others. like he cares so much and he's so good at keeping that visible only for those he wants to it's astounding, my man is so talented and i hate that he had to learn to do that to survive but god i admire him and how committed he is to helping others too. like he could say "welp who cares it's dangerous imma go fuck off" like ragnor did but not only did he stay but he had a huge vulnerability with all his generosity and he never gave that up not for a second, even as he closed himself off from having any close friends or family or lovers, he never was anything if not generous and kind

the way he deliberately calls Jace shadowhunter in the most uninterested and even lowkey condescending way after the "pretty boy" incident idndjdndi we stan a king

the way Alec and magnus hold hands to summon the demon and even Magnus seems a bit shocked at the intensity of the sound and the bond that they make like. obviously they have their little staring contest and Alec is doing the Lightwood Intensity™ thing but like you can see Magnus frown just slightly and be a little confused because it was so strong right off the bat. even the sound of when they hold hands is louder than when the others do, like you can just feel their connection and the way magnus' magic flows so freely through Alec like god the soulmate energy tbh

Alec has a full body jerk when they hold hands too and he's the only one like damn we get it u 2 r vibin get a room

Izzy going "you ppl are pathetic" straight to the hets is so funny especially after Alec reacted to holding magnus' hand like he had gotten a 1000W electric shock or something. but i get the feel maybe she did that deliberately so they wouldnt pay as much attention to Alec's reaction too

the special effects were truly so bad like we all knew this but damn

Jace is such an asshole like Alec made it to kill the demon because it was you know about to seriously hurt them all and Magnus had just said that he couldn't contain the demon for longer (and like we know that Alec is the only one who ever cared if Magnus overexerted himself out of the shadowhunters but like bro this affects you) and Jace just???? shoved him??????? against the wall???? like a fucking piece of shit??? they should have let valak kill him tbh

the first time magnus calls him Alexander is when he calls Alec to see if he wants a drink and it's just like very clearly a thing that's supposed to be between them two? like he never did it when there were others nearby and i dig that

the fact that when asking Alec out he said "it was nice getting to know you, you seem sympathetic" like he could have gone with a lot of better more flirty adjectives but for a second the truth slipped out and he said what he thought - that while Alec was objectively you know tall and strong and all what really attracted him was the way Alec clearly gave a fuck whether or not Magnus was struggling with his magic to keep the damn demon at bay. and that was before the magic sharing shit too when Alec proved him right by cleaning up his things and saying that he had exerted himself enough for one day. like so many ppl see Magnus as the All Powerful Son Of Asmodeus Who's Also There To Service Shadowhunters and Alec just shows the faintest signs of caring about his wellbeing and he's immediately drawn to him like damn Im sad

also maybe this might be why he asked Alec to come so he could draw from his strength specifically, like he knew from the little hand holding thing that Alec was open and receptive to his magic (which probably adds to the "sympathetic" stuff like the fact that Alec had such an intense reaction to his magic and yet didnt try to push it back or draw away from it basically shows that he's open to Magnus if that makes sense? not only because magic is a part of warlocks but also because shadowhunters are all taught that magic is like, dirty and evil, so it would be instinctive for Alec to be resistant to demonic magic in his body, but he wasn't, he accepted it so readily and intensely it was a shock to the both of them) and also that he cared enough to support him. he kinda had Magnus' back from the beginning, first killing that circle member in the club before Magnus even saw him, then helping Magnus kill the other, then immediately making it to kill the demon when Magnus said he couldn't hold him back for long. like im aware I'm reading too much into this but s1 malec was very kept to the between-the-lines and its very interesting to me to think what Magnus was thinking, even if obviously on a subconscious level. Alec was showing himself to be open, reliable and caring, and magnus values that, and hes attracted to him and he hasnt had that in a while, because he wouldnt allow himself, but now he's healing and the pull he feels when he finally gets that while being emotionally available enough to accept these little gestures of caring is really strong. love that for him tbh

i go FERAL over everything about the magic sharing shit okay i always have. the way alec shows up and Magnus is kind of falling over, exhausted from trying to hold onto luke, and Alec immediately runs to support his weight and make sure hes okay? and magnus even as he was about to fall over never had his magic falter, my man couldn't keep his balance but still wouldnt come close to stumbling and risking luke's life further for even a second. so when Alec gets there he's just quite literally having his back, supporting his weight, when even Magnus didnt care about that (which like. unhealthy) and was focused on luke? and like Magnus can focus on luke because Alec is there to give him his support and make sure he's fine and how long's it been since he last had someone to do that?? and it's clearly alec's first instinct and like we know Jace or even Clary wouldnt fucking react like that. and then they have this ridiculous fucking staring contest again like we get it alec you're gay panicking at Magnus' beautiful eyes but like pls? and then we get to the most important part which is TAKE WHAT YOU NEED

like JDNDJSNSKDNDJDBSHSBSUSNSISNSIBSZJBZUZBSJSBSISNSSINSIS *SCREAMS INTO OBLIVION, SENDING SELF OUT OF EARTH'S GRAVITY ZONE*

his reaction is just SO intense and immediate he's just like "take what you need" he just offers himself fully to help Magnus just like that, no hesitation, and like Magnus is literally drawing from Alec's strength/life force, there should be some kind of resistance, even from a regular person or a friend, like its a very natural instinct. but Alec just grabs his hand and goes take what you need and he doesn't resist he just lets him do it and lets Magnus take his strength, because he genuinely worries about his wellbeing and safety just because he does, he believes in protecting others and being there for them, same as Magnus, and to Alec it's the most natural thing in the world but to Magnus it's shocking because he's always been self reliant, he has to be, he's been alone too many times and he's been used too many times and he's scared of what he'll let people take from him if he opens himself up because he always gives and gives, and he hasnt even let anyone be there for him to have his back and give him support when he needed in these last few centuries, not fully, not since Camille. but Alec shows up and just immediately cares for him in both small (like later when he refuses to let Magnus clean his couch magically because he knows he's tired and does it himself) and huge (like literally not hesitating before letting Magnus use a super intimate and presumably draining spell on him without putting any kind of limit, so Magnus can not overexert himself like he always does) ways and it means so much to him? and hes just so drawn and attracted to him and suddenly he realizes he's catching feelings that he had forgotten how to, because of course he had been healing and opening up, but he still kept people at some kind of length that didnt allow them to take care of him even if they wanted to, but Alec got that opening and he dived right in, and Magnus realizes how starved he's been for this kind of care and support that he's been denying himself and he decides to chase this, take it seriously, and i just aaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

and like again Alec doesn't even think twice about it, because he's always been the protector and the support anyway, and he doesn't want to let anyone struggle and also most of that is just him being a Decent Human Being, but just like he got that opening that no one else did before, he met Magnus at the right time and he was sympathetic and caring and that sparked so much in Magnus, made him realize just how much he's been craving affection and care and close contact with people, and being vulnerable emotionally, and all of that that he's been denying himself. obviously magnus is romantically attracted to him but right then Alec is unlocking honesty with himself inside of magnus, he's unlocking vulnerability and not using it against him but really making a good thing out of it, and magnus' forgotten it could feel like this, safe and nice instead of hurting and scary. and again it's such a simple gesture but fuck my boy's been starved!! for so long!!! okay! and he can't help but want to desperately clutch to that feeling because against all odds he trusts alec to see his vulnerability right then (and he deliberately lets him see it further when he gives Alec that drink, tells him he's been closed off, that alec's unlocked something in him. you can see all the sadness and hope and vulnerability in his eyes right then, pretty much for the first time in the show, hes just so open and vulnerable and that's deliberate! first time was a fluke but second time he's choosing to because he wants to see where this goes, and if the magic sharing scene is the spark, the drinking scene is the fire, because they're not in a life or death situation anymore, Magnus is choosing to give Alec a chance by showing him a glimpse of his insecurities and Alec answers in kind, letting Magnus see his own confusion and want, and also again shows his caring and doesn't betray or use magnus' vulnerability and fuck!!! Magnus falls in love right then because this boy stays with him all night and talks, and he sees Magnus look at him with shiny eyes and admit that he's been scared of relationships, and he tells magnus not to overexert himself, and they click and Alec is open to his magic and hes funny and hes compassionate and also passionate about what he believes in, and they have so much in common with the way they hide and care so deeply and protect others always and are so loyal and i just. udndjdndidjdjxnxjxnskxndk SOULMATES god)

I need to lie down actually this was a bad idea I'm not strong enough I'm too feral

Might continue this later who knows. I'll be tagging malec livewatch and also long post as always if you want to filter this nonsense out

[marvels-writings]

Livewire (4)

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Request: Hey:) I absolutely love this blog. Your imagines are entertaining to read. Can I request a Carol x R? Endgame/post endgame (hate/love) scenario: Everyone is trying to deal w/ their grief, Carol always seems to target R when lashing out/or acting cocky/arrogant. R remains infuriatingly calm & ignores her or responds in genuinely friendly manner but says things that fluster/get under Carol's skin. After they win, Carol eventually realizes that while R drives her crazy, she is crazy about her ;)

Extra: Hey! regarding the Carol x R request in which Carol lashes out at the R a lot during Endgame events, just want to add: R-when being yelled/screamed at responds in a polite/friendly manner, their response either leaves others speechless/makes them want to scream in rage/frustration, not because their response was insulting, but because it was said in that calm friendly manner= basically this person does not feel provoked/threatened in the slightest by the other person's anger or rage lol.

A/N: I really wanted to write this, so I wrote it

“CAROL!” You screamed, jumping forward to catch Carol, laying her softly on the ground in front of you. 

The knife had gone completely through her, you could see blood seeping out from the wound and onto her suit, you started panicking, you couldn’t let Carol die, not here, not now. Not after everything the two of you have been through, together. 

“Stay still.” You instructed, voice wavering as you put pressure on the wound, aware of the entire team struggling to hold down Thanos behind you. 

“Y/n, go help them.” Carol groaned, her voice strained with the effort to speak as a result of the pain in her side. 

“No, I’m staying by your side.” You answered shakily, before demanding for medical assistance on the comms, Rhodey said he would be over soon after seeing what had happened, he was the person you’d gotten along best with on Earth. 

“Y/n, go help them.” Rhodey said, landing beside you and putting pressure on the wound using his suit, you glanced over your shoulder and winced, they were barely keeping Thanos from the stones. 

“No.” You stated, swatting Rhodey’s hands away when you heard Carol groan in pain and putting pressure by yourself. 

“Y/n, go help them, I’ll be here.” Carol said, trying her best to sound reassuring as she propped herself up slightly. 

You could see the desperation in her features, even through the dirt all over her face her eyes were as sharp as ever. You saw the reflection of the fight in her eyes and winced. 

“But,” You began, Rhodey took your hands away from the wound and started tending to it better than you could. 

“Go, now.” Carol commanded, reaching for your hand and squeezing it, looking you in the eye and giving you a soft smile. 

You clenched your jaw angrily and flew off, your entire body glowing red and gold while you flew to Thanos. You instantly pulled him into a headlock and dragged him on the ground using your body weight, burning the back of his neck with the heat from your body. 

Carol knew you couldn’t keep this up for longer and she tried to get up, Rhodey pushed her back down and instantly took the knife out to cauterize it. Carol screamed as pain surged through her, the smell of burning flesh filling the air around her as she bent over in pain. 

The sight broke your heart, you heated up your hand and used all your strength to keep Thanos from doing anything, succeeding so far. Tony ran to you to help you, pulling at the gauntlet to get it off, it didn’t seem to be working. 

You looked around for Carol and saw her still doubled over in pain, trying to steady her breathing, you knew you were the cause of this, maybe if you’d just noticed the knife a second sooner and blasted it she wouldn’t be  in this much pain because of you. 

Thanos grabbed you by the back of your suit and threw you as hard as he could at Rhodey, the metal of his suit hitting your body harder than you could ever imagine, a large crack came from your ribs combined with pain.

“Y/n, you broke a rib, stay down.” Rhodey commanded, getting up instantly, you ignored him and lashed back at thanos, flying head first and knocking him down, you practically sat on top of his chest, using your fire powers to pummel yourself into the ground while punching his face as hard as you could, the heat from your hands burning his face. 

He used the power stone on your broken rib to throw you to the side, your head hit the side of some rock hard, almost knocking you unconscious. The adrenaline just barely keeps you running as you sit back up, forcing air into your lungs and your eyes to stay open while wiping the dirt from your eyes, trying to convince your body to get back up.

 “I am, Inevitable.” Thanos stated, lifting up his hand to snap but Tony got to him, trying to take the gauntlet off. Carol blasted his face to distract him, thinking Tony was trying to get the gauntlet off. 

You got up weakly, using the last of your power to blast his hand from hitting Carol and leaning back against the spaceship, the adrenaline starting to wear off. 

“And I am,” Tony said, lifting up his hand to show all of the infinity stones on his hand, blood dripping down onto his face. 

“Iron man.”

-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-

Maybe it’s true, legends never really die. Tony was going to be remembered as long as humanity still existed. Maybe he didn’t really die. 

You sighed and got up off the bench in front of Tony’s house, watching Pepper lead out Morgan while holding her hand and smile at everyone. You smiled back weakly at her, the rib still throbbing despite the cast. 

Carol stood next to you, hand sliding into yours as she stood almost stoically while watching the memorial, you glanced over at her to see her face unreadable. You sighed and watched the rest of the memorial in silence, missing Tony more than anything. 

-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-

“So what now?” You asked Carol while sitting on the compound couch. 

You’d just finished catching up with everyone, Natasha was gone, Tony and Steve were gone, there were almost no Avengers left, you didn’t know what to do without your family. 

“Now? I actually don’t know.” Carol answered, getting off the couch to get some water, you followed her, wincing at your wound. 

“You shouldn’t be walking.” Carol chastised, about to lead you back to the couch when you practically swatted her hand away, she frowned lightly at you. 

“Dance with me?” You asked, reaching for your phone and switching on your and Carol’s favorite song. 

Carol knew how bad your rib was hurting, but she couldn’t say no to your soft smile and your hand reaching out to her. She sighed and took your hand, wrapping both hands gingerly around your waist, terrified to hurt you. 

You smiled at her and wrapped your arms around her neck, looking up at her hazel eyes with a soft smile. The two of you swayed while looking at each other, the music being the only sound in the room. 

“I love you.” You blurted, eyes widening slightly as anxiety rose in your chest, but Carol just chuckled softly and smiled at you. 

“I love you too.” Carol answered, meaning every word as she leaned in and pecked your lips, you pulled her in and kissed her softly, all the emotions from the ship coming back.

All of the nights awake thinking about her, all the pining, all the fights and desperation, the kiss had every emotion you felt for her, she returned it tenfold, her touch felt like a livewire on your skin as she reached up to run her hands through your hair. 

She pulled away, completely out of breath and leaned her forehead against yours, loving the feeling of your hands stroking her neck. 

“Won’t you be my livewire?

Make me feel like I’m set on fire.”  Carol sang to you softly, you could feel her breath on your lips and smiled at the lyrics before pulling away to look at her properly. 

“I’ll be your livewire.” You whispered, dancing with Carol, smiling the entire time. 

A/N: I CRIED, im sorry but excuse me being a sobbing MESS over here, god, tell me if i got a reaction from people except for me. 

Tag List: @capcarolsdanver, @versdan, @lesbian-girls-wayhaught, @lovebotlarson, @dhengkt​, @5aftermidnight, @hstoria, @natasha-danvers, @veryfunnyal, @xxxtwilightaxelxxx , @ophelias-heart  , @never-didbefore , let me know if you’d like to be in any of my tag lists!

[yourdeepestfathoms]

As Tough As Diamonds, As Fragile As Glass

a character study on Bessie and her trauma.

whoops im away from home and my computer so can’t add the “read more” but i don’t want to wait so sorry y’all

TW: Panic attacks, mentioned/implied CSA, pedophilia, and rape

———————

Right from the get go, Bessie knew she was going to be the “mom friend” of the ladies in waiting. She expected this, though, and took up the role with open arms. This meant she had to be the strong one, and she was, but, sometimes, old memories came back with so much power she couldn’t fight back.

It happened during a rehearsal before the shows started. Bessie had just finished playing a part from one of the songs, which everyone clapped and cheered for.

“Great job, Lizzie!” Cleves praised and, although she meant well, something snapped in Bessie’s chest.

That was the name Henry used to groom her with. He would coo it in her ear as he caressed her quivering thighs, purr and croon it while he kneaded her budding breasts. Her never stopped unless she mewled for him like a hungry kitten.

The feeling of phantom fingers dance across her body and Bessie’s bass clatters to the ground.

Bessie reeled backwards in a surge of adrenaline, bumping into a few things until she was pressed against the wall. One hand grips tightly at her chest, which has tightened into several knots. Her throat closes up and she suddenly felt so, so vulnerable.

She could feel her breaths shortening and she dug her heels back into the tile floor, trying to ground herself in any way possible. This was not the time to break down. She had a job to do.

By now, the others have noticed, especially when Bessie started to gasp and wheeze. Seeing the bassist like this, pale and shivering, felt so wrong.

“Bessie?” Jane was in front of her. “What’s going on? Are you okay?”

No I’m not ‘alright!’ Does it look like I’m alright?! Bessie’s thoughts screamed, but a second voice overtook the sarcastic one.

You ruined her life

It wasn’t Jane the voice was referring to, though. Bessie didn’t dare look at the golden queen in question.

“Hey, easy,” Jane murmured, hands reached out to help steady the bassist.

“No!” Bessie exclaimed, jerking back and attempting to get up so she could go somewhere else to calm down and look at the situation rationally, but her legs were weak, and she stumbled before falling to the ground on all fours.

Immediately, Cleves was next to her and then Jane. The others huddled around her, whispering and gasping and bouncing theories off of each other. Bessie stared intently at Aragon’s shoes before shutting her eyes tightly.

You did this to Her

“Bessie?” Jane’s voice came from in front of her, but Bessie could barely make it out. “Bessie, can you hear me? You need to breathe, love. Can you do that for me? Breathe.”

Breathe? Wow, I never thought of that! Bessie thought because she didn’t have the air to say it.

“Bessie?” Jane tried again when Bessie doesn’t react, “Come on, love. You can do it. Breathe.”

“No,” Bessie whispered in a voice so weak and soft it was startling to hear come from her, “Can’t- Henry-”

A few of the queens tensed up.

You wanted it

Guilt came back strong. Bessie gave into the blind panic and felt her entire body seize up.

You ruined Her life

She began wheezing out ‘I’m sorry’s in between frantic gasps and her chest was tight so, so tight, and in front of her, Cleves steps in to grab her arms, trying to tell her to breathe but in that moment, Bessie needed to apologize more than she needed to breathe, and the apologies were spilling out on top of each other. Her lungs were screaming for air, but she needed to apologize or things would somehow get worse because she knew that was how it always worked.

At this point, she could feel herself shaking like a leaf, and she never felt more pathetic.

How can you break down in front of Her after what you did?

Why did she care so much? Why did she care about Aragon? Aragon left her when she needed her the most. Aragon gave up on her. Aragon blamed her for everything.

They hated each other.

And yet, Bessie was still trying to force herself to apologize for her trauma. Because, deep down, she knew her own fears and suffering didn’t matter.

Cleves’ hands cupped her cheeks, wiping away her tears, and Bessie realized she was crying on top of everything.

“Bessie, please, focus on me,” Cleves said gently.

“It was me,” Bessie gasped, opening her eyes and staring at the floor, at Cleves’ knees, Jane’s feet, because she didn’t deserve to look any of them in the eyes. “I-”

Tell them

“I’m trying,” She said, her chest seizing up.

“I don’t know what you’re saying, but it’s not important,” Cleves said, trying to catch her eyes. “Breathe, Bessie, breathe with me.”

“No, I-” Bessie stuttered, continuing to hyperventilate and feel more pathetic by the second. She had to say it. She had to wallow in the humiliation of what she did. “Henry- Affair- it was me.”

Cleves’ hands, wiping away her tears, went still.

“You- what?”

The bassist says nothing as she completely broke down into painful sobs, unable to breathe, unable to speak, squeezing her eyes shut before opening them again.

Her arms were numb, yet she still felt incredibly hot, and this was how she was going to die, wasn’t it?

You deserve it.

She shook her head again, feeling dizzy.

And then Jane’s hands were on her shoulders and Cleves is ducking her head to try and make eye contact, but the ceiling lights were too bright and all Bessie could hear was the thumping of her heart and her panicked breaths, and everything was buzzing, and the last thing she saw was Aragon’s face.

———

Her head was pounding. That was the first thing she registered. The second thing was the deep throb in her chest and then that she was lying down.

What happened?

Bessie groaned and immediately regretted it. Yup, she definitely had a headache. She tried to open her eyes, struggling slightly because of the overhead lights. A distance away, there was a gasp. Footsteps approached. Fingers touched her shoulder. A familiar voice.

“Elizabeth?” She opened her eyes and Lady Jane Seymour’s face was above hers, “How are you feeling?”

“What happened?” Bessie croaked.

“You had a really bad panic attack and passed out, love.” Jane informed gently.

Right. It all came back to her. Bessie closed her eyes again, taking a moment to wallow in her own humiliation and self-hatred for what went down.

“God, I’m sorry.”

“We’ll talk in a second,” Jane said, voice still gentle and warm, even when talking to her. “Can you sit up?”

Instead of replying, Bessie tried to push herself up on her arms, only making it halfway. She still felt incredibly weak, but before she could say anything, Jane was helping her into a better position. The touch made Bessie shudder.

The quietness that followed was tense and thick in the air. Jane passed over a water bottle, which Bessie took gratefully.

“I’m really sorry.” Bessie whispered hoarsely. “I’m so, so sorry.”

“It’s okay, love. You didn’t do anything wrong.” Jane assured her, gently rubbing the bassist’s shoulder.

That felt like a punch to the gut. But why? Shouldn’t forgiveness be a good thing? While pondering this, the others file in, much to Bessie’s dismay.

The other ladies in waiting look simultaneously worried and relieved, with Maggie clearly being way more anxious than Joan and Maria. The cousins had curious looks, while Parr and Cleves were genuinely concerned. Aragon’s expression was unreadable.

“Are you okay?” Maggie asked. There was an anxious look in her eyes.

“Yes,” Bessie grunted, pressing the heel of her palm to her temple. “Don’t worry about me. Just give me a moment.”

“You passed out, Bessie,” Parr informed and Bessie had to bite back a snide remark. “We’re going to worry.”

“What happened, anyway?” Anne asked, “I didn’t think anything could crack you.”

Parr elbows Anne in the ribcage for that one.

Bessie’s ears burn bright red, but, luckily, it’s hidden by her hair. She bows her head a little, sighing to mask her anxiety with agitation.

“It was that name.” She finally said, cursing at how shaky her voice was.

“Lizzie?” Katherine pipes up and Bessie winced.

“Yes.”

“You used to love being called that.” Aragon mused, like she was trying to find a way to deny the bassist’s fear. Whatever Bessie had been feeling towards her during the panic attack was now gone, replaced by the usual hatred she felt for the first queen.

“Yeah, well things change.” Bessie snaps back with barely contained rage, “I just- I don’t like it okay? It’s the name Henry used to groom me with...”

The room went silent.

“Oh, and that’s so terrible?” Aragon said, “After all, he loved you.”

“I was thirteen.” Bessie spat and she almost felt pride in the shocked reactions she got. “Shut your damn mouth, Catalina, because you don’t know anything.”

Silence.

Then, Cleves speaks up.

“I’m going to talk to her for a moment.”

After everyone filed out of the room, the red queen sat down next to her friend.

“Are you okay?”

“Not really,” Bessie laughed dryly, putting her head in her hands. “I keep thinking he’s- No. It’s selfish.”

“No it’s not.”

“I didn’t marry him. I’m not some seventh queen who suffered like the rest of you. It doesn’t-” Bessie sighed heavily, “It doesn’t matter.”

“It matters to me.” Cleves said firmly, “Who cares if you weren’t a queen? He still hurt you.”

Bessie is quiet for a moment, peeking up at Cleves, who sets a hand on top of hers, squeezing comfortingly. She sighed again.

“Catalina gave me the nickname.” The bassist started, her lips twitching into a ghost of a smile, “I loved it. So much better than Bessie. I actually stopped going by Bessie for awhile,” She said that part with a small laugh, making Cleves laugh as well, “But...”

The smile fell.

“When Henry and I got together, he used to groom me. Always telling me how beautiful I was, always touching me...” Bessie closed her eyes and swallowed thickly. “We- we had a lot of sex, I’m ashamed to say. I hated that I wanted it at first, hated that I thought it was just a sweet gesture and that he loved me, but- but then it just got more rough.” She has to stop a moment, scrubbing her hands over her eyes to get rid of the tears. Then, is a hoarse whisper she says, “Oh god, Anna, it hurt. It hurt so much. I felt like I was being ripped open.”

Worry sparks in Cleves’ eyes, along with anger and disgust. This was just another reason why she wanted to go back in time and beat the hell out of Henry. However, right now, she wanted nothing more than to take Bessie into her arms and hold her and keep any other bad thoughts from entering her head.

“I’ve tried to handle it,” Bessie continued, “I’ve done good. I just- I can’t act like this. I’m not supposed to.”

“You don’t have to be strong all the time, Bessie.” Cleves told her, squeezing her hand.

Bessie clenches her jaw, but then relaxed. She doesn’t say anything else, so Cleves speaks again.

“I’m sorry,” The queen said, “I shouldn’t have said that name.”

“Not your fault,” Bessie said, not raising her head from where it was angled towards the ground, “You didn’t know.”

Cleves nodded slowly.

“Can I hug you?”

“...That’d be nice.”

Bessie couldn’t help but lean into the arms that wrapped around her. She rests her pounding head against Cleves’ own, letting her fear and anxiety ebb away slightly.

“Can I call you Libbie?”

“What?”

“Libbie,” Cleves repeated, “You know, as a nickname. I understand if it’s too close to the other one, though.”

“No,” Bessie said quickly. She smiled a little, “I like Libbie.”

—————

The shower Bessie took was almost two hours long and she still didn’t feel clean by the time it was over. When she finally stepped out, her skin was rubbed raw and glowed neon pink. Sensitive to the touch and still budding blood in some areas where she scrubbed a bit too viciously, her flesh stung in the open air.

The feeling of His hands still lingered on her body.

After spending two minutes washing her face, she got dressed into her pajamas and finally stepped out of the bathroom. While trudging to her room, preparing to try and just sleep all this sadness off, she heard a commotion coming from downstairs.

“Maria, what the hell are you doing?!”

“My best!”

“Maria!! Hold her still!”

“I’m trying! She is WILD!”

“Shh!!”

“Oh, don’t you ‘Shh’ me! You’re not the one getting bitten!”

At that, Bessie does a double take. Thinking Maggie may be having a meltdown, she hurried downstairs, not caring if her eyes were still red and puffy from crying endlessly for two hours.

“Maggie?”

Instead of her protégé freaking out or having an attack, she saw a kitten with its tongue sticking out on the dinner table. Maria swipes the cat and hides it behind her back.

“Told you you should have been quiet.” Joan whispered to Maria, to which the drummer kicked her in the shin in response.

Maggie takes the Somali kitten and sets it in Bessie’s arms, who still looks very confused.

“Her name is Speed Demon!” The guitarist informed.

Bessie quirked a brow and scratched under the cat’s chin with a finger.

“Interesting name choice,” She said, “Whose is she?”

“Yours!”

Bessie stopped. She blinks.

“What?”

“You’ve been pretty upset since rehearsals, even though you said you were fine.” Joan said.

“You spent two hours in the shower. How do you think we found the time to get the Demon?” Maria pipes in for a moment.

“So, we got you a little present to cheer you up!” Joan continued.

Bessie is quiet. Then, she looks down at the kitten, which is licking her collarbone and purring loudly.

“Why?”

“What?” Maria tilted her head.

“Why did you do this? I was only a little upset. I told you I was fine.”

“We care about you.” Joan said.

“You’re our family, Bessie!” Maggie continued.

“We love you.” Joan finished.

Bessie wasn’t sure why, but that’s what broke her.

She crumpled down to her knees, tears streaming down her cheeks for the fourth time that day. But, this time, she really let herself cry. She let herself be weak for a moment because she knew the three people hugging her would be there to hold her together.

And the kitten? Well, the kitten was just the icing on the cake.

[hell-bound-stories]

walk?

It was nearing late afternoon and Azz still hadn’t found a way to get Syd out of bed, or even just smiling. Azz didn’t know why she was so down, and honestly neither did she. Every attempt to ask why was met with anger and frustration, followed by more sadness. “I don’t know why!” Syd would snap harshly, though Azz didn’t take it personally, “I just feel horrible ok, i’m sorry I know I shouldn’t be”. It was just one of those days where everything felt awful, and the overcast skies certainly didn't help lighten the mood. It wasn’t the first time Syd has had a day like this. 

Azz tried everything they knew to try and cheer Syd up. Getting her favorite food, watching her favorite show, playing her favorite game, even cuddling for a bit, but nothing seemed to work. It felt like nothing was going to pull her out of this rut. 

Syd laid on her big bed, rolled up in a blanket facing the wall scrolling mindlessly threw various social media apps on her phone. You didn’t need to see her face to tell the bags under her eyes were heavy and dark, like she hadn’t gotten any good sleep in days. She wasn’t paying attention to Azz at all, but deep down she did appreciate the effort they were trying to make to cheer her up. 

Azz was desperately trying to come up with other ideas to lighten things up. They hated seeing Syd like this. ‘I'm failing’, panicked thoughts started to race through their mind ‘I can’t fail, she needs me’. Azz hopped off the bed and walked around the room. They gazed out the window onto the sidewalk below. The sky was starting to clear with the clouds slowly dancing across it. Below was a nice couple walking down the street with their small corgi. Azz’s eyes lit up, they knew exactly what to do. 

“Hey” Azz said, walking back over to Syd in bed, “let’s go for a walk!”

Syd groaned not even looking up from her phone, “A walk?”

“Yeah, it's really nice out, a short walk to the park will be great” They said, sounding as excited as a puppy.

“Mmm, No, moving sounds hard” Syd had barely moved all day, only doing so when she absolutely had to. Her body felt impossibly heavy and hard to move. “Besides, it's getting dark soon anyways”

“Aw come on” Azz pleaded, this time not even getting a response back from Syd, who went back to her phone. “Fine” They stated sharply, “We’re going to have to do this my way” Azz walked back over to the other side of the room, stretching their arms.

“What way?” Syd said hazily, at this point not even paying attention to Azz, ‘whatever’ she thought lazily, and continued scrolling. 

A moment later she felt something jump onto the bed and walk over to her. At the foot of the bed was sitting a cute small corgi. Well as cute as it could be in a way. It had black grey fur with purple highlights scattered about. Its nails were a tad too long and definitely too sharp, along with the horns resting on its head next to its slightly bigger ears. More noticeably the “corgi” had no eyes, not even empty eye sockets. The area was covered nicely by fur, like someone had forgotten to draw eyes in. What it lacked in eyes it made up for in extra teeth, some poking through its lips in a cartoony way. ‘Right’  Syd rolled her eyes, ‘that’.

“Walk.” the dog demanded. Its voice was a little distorted but still understandable.

“Ohmygod” she whispered under her breath, “Azz knock it off, I just don't have the energy for a walk, im sorry”, you could tell she felt bad about this in her voice, she really felt she didn't have the ability to do anything right now. Syd pitifully went back to her phone, with guilt written all over her face as she did so.

Azz just sat there, but even with no eyes Syd could tell they were staring daggers into her. “Come on”, she nudged Azz on the side with her foot, “go”.

“Hrmph, fine” Azz said jumping off the bed, “If you wont take me I’ll just take myself!”. In a flash of purple light the little corgi turned into a moderately sized hyena, standing in the middle of the room. Syd turned around and glanced at them. She knew Azz could turn into pretty much any animal, but all the animals shared the same characteristics. No eyes, black/grey and purple fur, long sharp teeth and claws, with small horns placed on top, this hyena was no different.

The big dog began to cackle, “I'm gonna go terrorize old ladies at the park!” they laughed at the top of its lungs. Syd immediately shot up from her bed.

“WHAT”

“You’ll have to come stop me!!” between all the teeth you could see a shit eating grin on their face. Syd watched as the hyena ran out of her room gracefully. Then heard it not so gracefully fall down the stairs, crashing into a potted plant at the bottom making a mess downstairs. 

“Im good!!” Azz screamed, getting up to run out to the front door and down the street to the park. 

‘Fuck’  Syd thought frantically ‘that fucking dumb ass is going to get himself killed…...again…..wh a t’

Syd didn't have time to think. She had to go stop this demon from terrorizing people. Even though Azz was here to help Syd, she felt that it was her job to stop Azz from, you know, being a demon and stealing people's souls or….other things demons did. She didn't really know what demons did, and she didn’t want to find out today. Syd also wasn’t about to let them get hurt. She pulled her hair up, slipped on her favorite (and only) pair of boots, and ran out the front door after Azz. 

The park was a short walk down the road. Syd was there in a couple of minutes after sprinting down the sidewalk. She was a little chubby but that didn’t mean she couldn’t run great when she wanted to. However anyone would be tired after sprinting down a road after a hyena. She got to the parking lot and stopped to take a breath. By the park entrance she saw Azz, still a hyena, Sitting there licking their paw. No one seemed to care that a big monstrous, African native dog was sitting there by itself, in the middle of Colorado. People gazed by it as they walked by, clearly seeing something, but not freaking out. ‘Weird’ Syd quickly thought.

“HEY” she shouted between breaths, “get your BUTT BACK HERE” she tried to sound threatening, but it was hard with a smile on her face.

Azz looked up, looked around and finally found Syd. They cracked a smile, trying to hold back a laugh, but very much failing. Azz did a lil spin and took off into the park, Syd following quickly behind. Well as quick as you can chase a hyena. They ran what felt like around the entire park, finally ending in the middle of an empty grass field. 

Syd stopped again trying to catch her breath, “you….piece of SHIT” she yelled tackling Azz into the ground, who was still laughing. As they rolled in the grass “fighting” Azz flashed purple and was back to their “human” (demon?) self, with Syd finally pinning them to the grass. Syd couldn't help but smile harder, and started laughing too. Between breaths she managed to ask “What’s so funny?”

Azz gave her the biggest smile she’d ever seen. ’she’s smiling’ was all Azz could think right now ‘she’s actually smiling’ 

“You” 

Syd tried her best not to blush, but kinda failed a lot.

“OH MY GOD” she screamed, burying her face in the grass next to them.

Syd looked back up at Azz and went off  “You asshole!!! Oh my god, you're impossible, you made a mess downstairs then made me chase you around literally the hole park…” As she kept scolding them, Azz looked up at the sky. They slowly used their hand to point Syd’s head up at the sky too. She immediately stopped talking once she saw the sky. The sun was begging to set and that painted the once dark clouds in vibrant pinks and oranges, set against a blue sky slowly getting dark. Azz could swear they heard her say “wow”, but didn’t mention it.

Syd’s breath finally caught up with her, “you were never going to terrorize old people”

Azz looked at her again, with nothing but a genuine smile, “nope” 

Syd sighed, laying down in the grass next to Azz, looking up at the sky. All Azz could watch was Syd. The way her hair fell in the grass and the look of aw and beauty on her face was just amazing to them, they couldn’t look at the sky if they wanted to. 

“I did what I had to” Azz admitted “to get you out of the house”

Syd sighed again “I guess you did……….thank you” 

“You’re welcome” 

They laid in the grass, talking and laughing about everything and everything till it got too dark. Syd never stopped smiling.

“Hey syd”

“Yeah?”

“I think I broke my hand”

“Jesus fucking Christ”

[lovehelpmewrite]

Records, Scissors, and Trust

Title: Records, Scissors, and Trust

Pairing: Loki x reader

Word count: 1.1k

Summary: One day while you’re relaxing with Loki, you notice his hair is in need of a bit of a cut. In response, he asks a favor that exercises your trust.

Warnings: its literal fluff

[A/N]: i was really in the mood to write Loki and fluff and honestly need a hair cut of my own so here she was born. I haven't written much for Loki and haven't posted anything for him before so hopefully, this is well received! Also, I have your Warren requests and im working on them don’t worry, i’ve just had this in my drafts for a hot minute and felt bad not posting anything at all. Anyway, read on lovelies!!! 

Loki's hair was getting long.

Quiet music played from my record player, warm sun filtered in through my sheer curtains, and Loki and I sat on my chair and bed respectively, reading books together. 

I had taken a short break from reading to readjust my eyes when I happened to take a peek at Loki and ended up watching his minutely changing facial expressions. 

That was when I noticed it.

His hair was growing well past his shoulders by now, wavy, and soft, and gently curling at the ends. 

While I had convinced him to pull it back into a bun a few times, he had it down now. Tucked behind his ear and washing over his neck and shoulders beautifully.

"It's rude to stare, you know," he spoke suddenly without looking up.

Heat covered my cheeks as I pulled my book up to cover my face from him.

"So what do you find so intriguing about me today that you felt the need to stare, petal?" Loki asked, his smile genuine despite his teasing tone.

"I just noticed your hair was... it's getting a bit long is all," I said softly peaking over the book with shy eyes.

He seemed to only just be noticing its length as he looked at his shoulders where it rested. He gave a thoughtful nod before looking back at me.

"I suppose it is. Do you dislike it?"

"No! I mean- I wasn't meaning to... I just notice its longer than you normally wear it is all! It looks good, I was just..." I bit my lip, forcing the word vomit to stop.

Loki only gave a soft smile and turned his gaze back to the dark locks.

"Thank you for noticing, petal. Would you mind cutting it for me?"

I opened and closed my mouth at a loss. Cut his hair? That's... a lot of responsibility. Despite my anxiety over messing up his hair, I found myself nodding.

Soon, he was sat on a chair in the bathroom, a towel wrapped around his shoulders and secured with a large hair clip. 

I chewed my lip, looking over Loki's hair and trying to decide where to begin.

"You know, I can do it myself if its too much trouble, it's just easier with another person but I've done it plenty of times myself," Loki offered.

My eyes flicked up to his from staring the ends of his hair, finding nothing but sincerity. I shook my head at him.

"I want to do this for you," I said finally.

"Well, best get on with it then," he replied, a toothy grin growing on his face.

Ignoring my racing heart and steeling myself for the task at hand, I used my comb to part Loki's hair down the middle carefully and started cutting away small sections. 

Pieces of wet hair littered the floor as I stood on bent legs behind him, cutting slowly to ensure an even line. Slowly I made my way around to his front, standing nearly in between his legs. I pulled the two front pieces taught under his chin and made a noise when they came together unevenly.

"It doesn't have to be perfect, petal-" Loki tried to say but I just made another dismissive noise.

"But I know I can get this even," I muttered, leaning closer and trimming the most minute amount of hair off one side. I pulled both sides straight down and compared them again. My lips pulled tightly to the right as I realized it wasn't straight on one side anymore because I had cut the front.

Instead of moving my now tired body around to his side I just sort of, leaned over Loki's thigh to cut the side.

Somehow his hand came to rest gently on my waist as I cut.

Neither of us commented on it as I came back to stand in front of him, looking intently at the lengths again. 

Finally, I gave a little huff of victory and all but tossed the scissors into the bathroom sink. Then I was stood in between Loki's thighs, his hand on my waist, his face far closer than I had realized.

"All done," I declared, clearing my throat but still not moving.

"Thank you, petal," Loki answered evenly, eyes still holding me captive.

It felt like I was watching from outside of my own body as his lips pressed against mine. They were warm, slightly chapped, and tasted like... Loki. Something between toothpaste and coffee and whatever sweet he had last eaten.

My eyes had closed on instinct and stayed that way even after he pulled back, desperately willing the memory to engrave itself into my brain. After a few seconds of silence Loki made a stuttered sound and my eyelids fluttered open.

His eyes were wide, panicked.

"Y/N... petal, I didn't mean to... I don't want you to..." he was stumbling through words, so far from the silver-tongued prince everyone---including myself---was used to.

"I'm sorry," he landed on finally, " I shouldn't have done that, it wasn't my place. I shouldn't have-"

I pressed my lips back onto his, trying to stop the anxious ramble Loki had started, and to express my own feelings.

My chest swelled and my heart raced and my skin burned and it just felt so much like home. Like the feeling of finally coming back to somewhere familiar after being away so long, only to find everything exactly the same, and nostalgic, and right.

We both pulled back reluctantly, eyes locked on each other.

"Consider that payment," I spoke softly, trying to lighten the tension and watching the smile grow on Loki's face in response.

He turned for a second and looked in the mirror before facing me again with an even bigger grin.

"For a job so well done, you must let me give you a tip as well, petal."

I laughed, my heart lighter than ever, leaning forward to gently rest my forehead against his. Cheeky little god.

[survivormetaverse]

Episode 2 - "Fuck I’m on the cursed tribe" ~Moth

a lil sad to see my girl, Bri, go, but that just makes us one person closer to the goal >:3

dennis is very sneaky. we all had a tribe call and he said he'd come later but he was actually doing the hunt challenge. like that's totally fair, it's just even afterward he acted as if he was not really focusing on it either. im going to play the game assuming he has something, just in case.

GAME AND GAME SHOW ARE DIFFERENT DSJKLFHASJDJFH no but this was hella fun pls let's do it again

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hX3Fs7lDDQk&list=PLrsCGcojtF16jvLW49C4855pUlLWI9pnn

Dhsjdjsjskksks. First tribal done. We just finished the taboo challenge ... A good bonding experience with my tribe. However, I have a feeling we lost. 😂😂😂😂😂😂 The fact that I was the guesser. Rip. 

I filmed confessionals but my internet got disconnected hahaha so that's neat. Hopefully there will be youtube videos here soon, but new update Jodi and I are in alliances with Dennis and brayden separately which I think would be hilarious if they were also in am alliance together. And it will be funny it my internet is still out for the challenge tomorrow since I'm the guesser 😆 whoops

So this is the beginning of round 2 and here are my thoughts. Might purposely not be helpful in the taboo challenge lol but i have to do it in a way that doesn't show im throwing it? tbh i say this now but when i start playing the urge to win comes in ugh but i just wanna vote one of these people out. I also took a stroll through the wiki page for this org and i love that some of these people (esp brayden and amy) have played before and their stats are there like yassss give me ammunition yassss!!!! anywho i dont care if we win or lose tomorrow i think i set myself up nicely within the tribe and i still really dont think any of these people won the hunt challenge on my tribe but again who knowssss. if we lose the logic would probably be go for josh or ginny aka the least active people buttt i dont think so like i don't wanna go the boring route. i need to keep josh close to get to merge with him we have friends on the other tribeeeeeee so i need them to survive and i need him and i to survive till we swap or merge to link up. im also trying to win a hunt challenge but my god y'all have me fucked up!!!!!!!!! i guess we shall see what happens tomorrowwwwww

It was nice sitting the challenge out, I'm busy tomorrow and the fact that they could complete it is good for me. Also, if we lose, nobody can blame me for the loss. Only drawback is it appears to me some people can be getting close by bonding over funny things in a game. I have to go back and see who may be close, I don't think I'm next on the chopping block, but I'm definitely not in control. To me, I do not need to be number one on this tribe, I just need to survive the next tribal and hopefully make it to the swap at 14 or 15.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wm_dmPuwzzI&list=PLrsCGcojtF16jvLW49C4855pUlLWI9pnn&index=2 anotha one dj khaled

HEY SO KIND OF A LOT OF DEVELOPMENTS TO MY GAME we didn't lose first challenge!! thats great. whatever. no tribal. I've been trying to connect with fellow tribemates but overall we're all pretty quiet. I did have a small 30 minute call with Jay where we kinda connected on somewhat of a game level. I kinda get the vibe that he may not fully trust me or he might see my as a threat, but I want to work with him. I also really like Anastasia and Elle, I think I can connect with them more on a more genuine level. Perfect scenario for me would be setting up a trio alliance of Me + Elle + Anastasia, and then having Jay on the side as my actual #1. idk if I can pull that off, but that was my plan heading into round 2 BUT. AS ROUND 2 STARTED, MY GAY ASS WON THE HUNT CHALLENGE. AMAZING. idk HOW I managed it because like?? I finished and found the hidden link within like 20 minutes? Statistically very unlikely BUT I'm so glad I did it. I WON A SAFETY WITHOUT POWER. It's kinda like a hidden immunity idol, except slightly worse because I can't actually partake in tribal at all. we went ahead and competed in the Taboo challenge last night and boy it was kinda rough. We lost a LOTTA points because we kept accidentally saying forbidden words (I lost us 2 points, woops). But we ended up with a semi decent score. Elle did an amazing job guessing. I really hope we can pull this out. SO YEAH SORRY THATS KIND OF A LOT. OVERALL I FEEL LIKE IM IN A DECENT POSITION, WAY BETTER NOW THAT I HAVE A SWP. I wanna further my position in the game with some allies now. That's my next biggest goal. toodles!!!

So I've figured out that Amy is a comp beast based on us discussing our old seasons and how she did in those: she always talks down her abilities because she's worried she's being painted as a big challenge threat, but I don't think she realizes that doesn't matter to me at all. Ultimately, I think she needed to be at tonight's challenge more than me, so I decided it's ok to sit out since I'm sitting out only because somebody has to, not because I don't want to play. In tribal challenges, it means she'll help keep us winning tribal immunity, and further down the line, if anything, I'll be using her as my "Ken" and if she wins everything, it'll keep immunity away from people I want out. 

I think I did much better in Taboo than I did in endurance, so I'm happy about that. Hopefully my performance this round can help me redeem myself with my tribemates.

Today in the fools tribe: no one is talking 

Holy crap we won yet again this is such a great feeling just like last season :)

Fuck I’m on the cursed tribe this round This time I think I’m on the majority alliance, which is a great place to be. So hopefully everything goes as planned tomorrow 

https://youtu.be/fszNKUHjB_8

So! We did the Taboo challenge and got second place, probs wouldve got first if we didnt get deductions but also we did so good so whatever 😂. I definitely kinda pushed for us to do the challenge last night bc it's Dylan's birthday and I didn't want to have to like, be anywhere specifically today 😅. But yeah we did super good and now I'm gonna go talk to ppl bc I've been gone all day lol

Bye I hate it here. 

~

SO. Here’s the rundown: We lost. Again. Pushing for Shaad to go. Moth, Jared, and Danny all agree with him going. So far I’m getting good vibes with everyone. Danny says he gets along with Jared well and doesn’t talk to Moth that much. Plus, Jared, Moth and I have that little alliance. Jared and I also get along well. Worried for Moth as she doesn’t seem to message a lot. This tribal... I’m feeling safe. I might even make an alliance with Jared, Danny and I. Worst case scenario for next challenge we lose and Moth goes. 

Yay we won again! Anyways, Dennis messaged me tonight talking about how everybody else knows each other from playing Stings games before. He said he checked the series wiki and got freaked out and told me that we're two newbies amongst vets. While he's telling the truth, I'm actually not too panicked because 1) I actually checked out the wiki before he told me about it and 2) I have pretty decent relationship with Amy to incentivize her to keep me around. I worked tightly with Amy for the specific reason that I knew she'll have others to work with, and for her to keep me as a loyal number. I also know that she was runner up of another series and she already recognizes the target on her, so I doubt she wants to risk me putting a bigger one. WOW FOR ONCE I'M NOT THE FLAMING TARGET I LIKE THIS 

Round 1 updates: https://youtu.be/5nhSsLNcnZ0 https://youtu.be/S5-0Yw93wc0

~

Round two rambles: https://youtu.be/CuwgF9IVmUM

So, tbh I've done some research about some previous seasons and I noticed Moth and Jessica have played together before. Moth still has not talked to me but Jessica has been overly friendly. I know they have a group message with Jared and I know he can be the split vote between what happens in our tribal tomorrow. Jared claims he has voted for Moth but we will truly see tomorrow. But honestly, if he chooses us, then Jessica is next unless the tribe swap or merge has happened.

~

Also with that research, I've peeped there's other connections in other tribes from previous games so this is gonna be interesting.

~

I chose Jared to work with mostly because I see he can play strategy.

Fools tribe is bad at playing games. And its perfect for me because I am safe but i am wishing for drama bcs its fun. rn we are doing small talk and being so nice to each other. I think we will form an alliance officially soon but i am too awkward or like i dont know how to say it or bring it up.

WHY! DOES! MY! TRIBE! KEEP! WINNING!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am trying to go the fuck to tribal council but noooo we have to beast all the other tribes yet again. Like a swap is probably coming soon and with my fuckin luck I am gonna get swap screwed like they are gonna look at me from the phantoms and be like yeahhhh theyve been winning lets get his ass out. i would love to lose this next one so the sees look stronger. if phantoms go to tribal I know I''m safe (anything can happen but I set myself up well), and thats all I care about. Jodi and I started to really talk about the vets who are playing this season, and we just realized that we're the only newbies on our tribe. like wow. The fantasy would be to get to merge and have a numbers advantage of newbies against these vets, or make the vets eat their own idk. Lots of thinkin lots of thinkinnnnn. I have been strolling through the wiki page some more and mapping out potential connections from previous seasons. The casting directors work hard but i work harder

https://youtu.be/gsDJIiGiqHE

https://youtu.be/V1ku4_-w0SY

Roses are red We’re on day six Fools tribe worse at challenges than a bag of dead bricks

That im one of the strongest competitors on my tribe, Dennis feels like he is on the outs, but that connects us so i can pull him in as an ally.

It’s been a tricky round 

~~~

Edgic:

Power Rankings:

Phantom

Jodi: Jodi remains at the top of the tribe for much of the same reason as last round. Now, she is even in two alliances with no one wanting to come for her nor do they see her as playing both alliances. Hopefully Jodi’s quick alliance making and constant worrying will help strengthen her defenses in the later rounds to come when people will be looking at her more closely.

Amy: Amy is still playing that stellar UTR game. No one seems to register her as a threat despite their access to the wiki and her performance in the challenge. Her social game is just too strong. Additionally, her greater willingness to work with Dennis than Jodi’s willingness to work with him may provide some good allies for Amy if she ever wants to distance herself from Jodi.

Brayden: Brayden rises in the rankings from last round as he has become more closely aligned with Amy and Jodi. The trio seem to see themselves as the only “active” ones on their tribe and are very quick to bond. Additionally, unlike Dennis, Brayden is not viewed with suspicion by either Jodi or Amy. They definitely feel more like a core alliance than they did with Dennis. Furthermore, Brayden is poised to get the people he wants gone out of this game. He is targeting Josh and Dennis which are good targets, especially the latter. All it takes is for Brayden to push a little for Dennis and I am sure the two girls will take the bait. Finally, Brayden’s connection with Ginnifer is very beneficial since he seems to be the only one willing to work with her at the moment. This gives him a very easy ally and Ginnifer doesn’t have much of a choice besides working closely with him. It is certainly an easy number for Brayden if he ever wanted to backstab Jodi or Amy in the future.

Josh: What lands Josh here is that he performed well in the challenge and is easy to like. Interacting with Josh on calls is always a pleasure. However, by not being part of that main trio, he is in danger of being voted out on a whim. Despite that, he seems to be, in my eyes, the least likely out of the bottom 3 to be voted out. Additionally, there is paranoia around people’s “experience” with ORGs surrounding these bottom 3 from others (despite the fact that the top 3 is composed of 2 people with ORG experience). Josh gets this heat the least.

Dennis: Dennis is in real danger if this tribe goes to tribal council. If Brayden pushes hard enough, Jodi can be easily swayed into turning on Dennis. He needs to back off with the strategy talk and just be more social. What saves him from last is that he is in that alliance with Jodi and Amy. This might make Jodi hesitant about targeting Dennis so soon as she may see him as a number. Additionally, Amy does seem keen on keeping Dennis around for a little while which would help his longevity. Hopefully Dennis can realize people’s perceptions of him before it is too late considering that he gives great confessionals and is one of my favorite players this season.

Ginnifer: Ginnifer may be on the bottom, but she definitely has a chance at avoiding being voted out. Most talk around Ginny is about how she is hard to socialize with, but I am sure, when the strategic game starts becoming more important, she can navigate out of this position. After all, she does have Brayden advocating for her which can definitely help. She would need to push for Dennis if she wants to survive until the swap at this point.

Fools

Jared: He takes the number 1 spot on this tribe as he is working with both “sides.” He is serving as the perfect double agent for Danny and Shaad. Additionally, he is making the smart move of getting rid of an obvious duo wherein he was the third wheel of that alliance. He has a great strategic mind on his shoulders, but is it too early for him to show that off? Regardless, he has earned this top spot by avoiding the target cleanly and betraying his allies perfectly. Jared is definitely a contender for the winner spot as he has shown some excellent gameplay these past two rounds.

Danny: Danny has done well in avoiding the target this round as well. He seems to be more sociable and active than Shaad which is the main reason that he is not the one getting Jessica’s and Moth’s vote. Additionally, he was the one that brought Jessica’s and Moth’s pre-existing relationship to Jared’s attention which caused this flip to happen in the first place. Finally, Danny made an excellent move by pairing himself with Jared as this duo could be something fearsome to go up against in the future. The cards are being laid out for a force to be reckoned with and I am excited to see what Danny will do in the future.

Shaad: It is hard to tell if Shaad did anything himself to avoid being voted out, but, regardless, he did something right by aligning with Danny and Jared instead of ratting to Jessica and Moth. In fact, even if he does rat, he will still land himself at number 3. He is not going to get voted out here, and has an established alliance moving forward. And now that he is putting more focus on the game, I am happily anticipating what he can accomplish now.

Jessica: Jessica is being blindsided tonight. However, at the very least, she is not the one going. Her performance in challenges have helped her avoid the target for the time being. Here we can see that the boys weren’t inactive, they were just inactive with her which spells doom for Jessica if this tribe goes to tribal council again. Unfortunately, the boys found out about her prior connection with Moth. The only thing Jessica could have done was to distance herself from Moth at the beginning of the game, but that seemed unlikely since people were inactive with her. I hope Jessica is able to survive until a swap because it would be devastating to see her go so early.

Moth: There is nothing Moth did that landed them here. It was just an unfortunate circumstance wherein they are targeted because of a prior connection. Additionally, I doubt Moth is going to see this coming.

S.E.E.S.

Colin: With an advantage in his hands and him being the most popular bachelor on his tribe, Colin is quick to make allies and his allies like it that way. It feels as if everyone wants to ally with Colin. His activity in the earlier stages of the game have definitely born fruit.

Elle: Similar to Colin, everyone wants to work with Elle. Her social game is just that strong. Nothing much else to say besides what I said before, but the challenge definitely helped raise Elle’s standings in the tribe.

Anastasia: Similar to last round. Nothing much to say.

Jay: He is keeping out of the spotlight which is good.

Babs: No developments. Still viewed in the same way though has noticeably been less unhinged in the tribe chat.

Jennifer: Still the same as last time: seemingly inactive and might be targeted for it.

[bold]

Grocery Shopping - Ch. 1

Read it on AO3!

Chapter Summary: Evan Hansen can't sleep, and somehow this is cause for many, many problems.

Notes: hi im writing thos boys. first time ever posting a deh fic here we go!!! its sincerely three (eventually).  this chapter is Very kleinsen but i promise sincerely three is coming. (tw for arguments and aggression and panic attacks and stuff. prolly mentions of suicide/self harm in the future, but not in this chapter)

It always felt weird for Evan sit in the grocery store break room and wait for Jared. No one was in the store at 12 A.M. No one worked the night shift but Jared, and Evan knew that, so he'd sneak into the staff break room with the key Jared (very illegally) provided him with in case of emergencies. Emergencies, Evan had decided, could be considered anything causing Evan so much distress that he needed face-to-face consolation.

At 10 P.M., Evan was having trouble falling asleep. At 11 P.M., Evan decided he wasn't going to sleep that night. Within the next half hour, he was pulling a jacket over his pajamas and trudging out to his mom's pathetic excuse for a minivan. If he wasn't going to sleep, he could at least spend the next few hours with his best friend.

The break room felt so eerie with no one but Evan occupying it. Circular, grey tables stood accompanied by their matching chairs, vacant of anyone to fill the seats. Evan watched them carefully, convinced they’d move if he gave them too much leeway. When he was all alone in the break room, Evan felt like he was in a different dimension; one slightly altered, where there was the chance that chairs might move if not kept under surveillance. Maybe he was just sleep-deprived.

“Evan?”

Suddenly, the spell was broken and he was looking up at Jared with saucer-sized eyes. Jared was leaning against the door frame, looking at Evan skeptically. Jared took Evan’s silence as an invitation to keep talking as he strode into the room with a tactfully nonchalant hand in his back pocket. Always casual, disinterested Jared. Never too attached until Evan looked up at him with sleepy puppy-dog eyes. Jared gave him a small, wry smile, but the concern sat heavy between his eyebrows. “Everything okay?”

Evan nodded clumsily, chewing on his bottom lip for a moment before forcing himself to speak. “Couldn’t sleep.” Jared placed a hand on Evan’s shoulder and the tension staking his spine dissolved. He leaned into the comforting weight of Jared’s hand, which was now giving Evan’s shoulder gentle squeezes. “Sorry, I guess it wasn’t really an emergency--”

“Nah, you’re cool,” Jared reassured him with such little thought that Evan thought his heart might burst. It was so easy to be friends with Jared. It was so easy to let his shoulders slump and put his anxiety on pause for a few hours.

Evan’s smile was stiff only due to lack of practice. The motion was genuine, though, and he reluctantly drew away from Jared’s touch so he could stand up. “Cool.”

“C’mon, store’s pretty much deserted. My shift’s over in, like, half an hour anyway."

Evan knew that, but didn’t say anything. It might have been creepy that he knew Jared’s work schedule so well, but he’d rather be a little creepy to himself than a lot creepy to whatever poor soul caught him sitting in the break room for an hour before realizing Jared wasn’t working that night.

His hands twitched. Bad thoughts. Those weren’t allowed in the grocery store. It was a rule Evan set up for himself. No crazy hypotheticals, no panic attacks, no self-deprecation (except in the form of jokes that made Jared’s lips press together to suppress a snort). The stillness of the empty grocery store was the one place Evan allowed himself total peace of mind. No one really came around in the early hours of the morning, despite the store being open 24/7. Not that Evan was complaining. Having the store entirely at Evan and Jared's disposal was strangely exhilarating.

“Don’t you have a job to do?” Evan demanded, quirking an amused eyebrow at how Jared was guiding Evan through the store with seemingly no destination.

Jared cracked his first grin of the night. “Evan Hansen,” he gasped in mock offense. “Do I look like the kind of man who gives in to the clutches of capitalism?”

“No,” Evan admitted. “You look like a twink who works at an Easy Mart and is about to get his ass fired.”

Now Jared was laughing, elbowing Evan in the ribs as affectionately as he could. “Shut up, asshole.” As they rounded the turn from one row of shelves to the next, the pair was met with an abandoned shopping cart, idling at the beginning of an aisle.

“Are you gonna put that awa-- Jared!”

Jared was climbing into the cart. It wobbled dangerously as he struggled to sling his short legs over the side, but once he was in, Jared turned back to Evan with an expectant expression.

There was no way Evan was going to push Jared down the aisle. It was too dangerous! Jared could get hurt, they could knock a whole shelf over! “Absolutely not,” Evan said firmly. Jared’s bottom lip dipped into a pout and he fluttered his eyelashes. Evan crossed his arms like a self-defense mechanism, but he could feel himself already wavering. “N-No way! It’s a terrible idea--”

“Please?” Jared purred, and Evan was done for.

With a huff, Evan uncrossed his arms and placed his hands firmly on the shopping cart’s handle bar. “Fine,” he conceded shortly. “But when you fall out and break your arm, I am so not signing your cast.”

“That’s such a low bl-- OH MY GOD!” In the middle of his sentence, Evan shoved the cart as hard as he could and sent Jared barreling down the aisle. Jared’s instinctive screaming soon dissolved into laughter and for a moment, Evan thought it wasn’t such a bad idea after all.

That was until Jared crashed into a self checkout machine and the cart toppled over.

Evan’s mouth filled with apologies as he scrambled over to Jared, who was still grinning. “Oh my God, Jarebear, I’m so sorry, I didn’t expect it to-- I just thought-- Are you okay?”

Jared’s hand found Evan’s bicep, seemingly to steady himself until he gave it a squeeze. “Dude, you’re ripped.”

Unable to tell if it was a compliment or flirting, Evan opted to hide his face against Jared’s shoulder in response to that comment. Jared moved his hand from Evan’s bicep to the back of his neck, fiddling idly with the soft hair there. “I’m fine, I’m fine. Might’ve broke the checkout thing, though.”

Evan giggled into the fabric of Jared’s uniform and, rather than pulling away, nestled closer. He was starting to get sleepy and Jared rhythmically combing his fingers through his hair wasn’t helping. It was only after Jared’s hand stilled did Evan realize someone was in the store with them. Immediately, he sat up, face flushing at the intimate state he and Jared had been caught in.

In the most unfortunate turn of events, the people who caught Jared and Evan’s cuddle session were none other than the Murphy siblings.

“What the fuck are you two doing?” demanded the eldest of the pair, Connor. Evan couldn’t give a specific reason for  why  he hated Connor Murphy so much. He just really, really hated Connor Murphy. He was so stuck up, so rich, so  ungrateful  for everything his parents did for him. He thought he was better than everyone else and still had the nerve to be self-deprecating. It was infuriating.

Unfazed, Jared scooted away from Evan and stood up. “Hello, welcome to Easy Mart. How can I help you?” he deadpanned, clearly not interested in helping either Murphy sibling one bit. Evan followed suit, standing and hauling the shopping cart upright with him.

“I didn’t know you worked here,” Zoe commented lightly, her cheeks flushed a soft pink, as if she’d just caught Evan and Jared having sex.

Jared gestured to his own chest, which bore an Easy Mart vest and matching ‘Hi, my name is: JARED’ pin. “Whatever would give you that idea?”

Evan shifted uncomfortably at Jared's side. "Wh-Why are you guys here?"

Apparently displeased that Evan had opened his mouth, Connor sneered. "What? Are we not allowed to shop here now that you and the missus have decided this is your property?"

"Connor found a cat!" Zoe interjected abruptly. Connor shot her a death glare, but she didn't falter. "A little stray kitten walked up to him while he was outside and we came here to buy it food."

As adorable as it sounded, Evan couldn't allow himself to think about Connor Murphy petting a kitten. "Oh. That's--"

“But, of course, you two have to be here,” Connor interrupted, clearly flustered. “Easy Mart is apparently the only place that lets its employees make out with their boyfriends on the job.” The thought of Jared being his boyfriend sent heat to Evan’s cheeks and a shiver up his spine.

Noticing his discomfort, Zoe surprisingly came to Evan’s rescue. “Shut up, Connor, you work at 7/11.”

Connor scoffed, affronted that his sister would compare him to the likes of Jared Kleinman. “I’m just saving up money so I can get out of our fucking hell house as soon as I graduate.” Zoe made a similarly offended noise and the siblings’ words dissolved into overlapping arguments.

It was uncomfortable to watch. Evan pressed closer to Jared as a means of comfort, who placed a hand on Evan’s bicep again. However, it was a gentler gesture -- one to keep him tethered in place instead of drifting into a more panicked mindset. “Could you guys not air out your dysfunctional family laundry right in front of us, maybe?” Evan whispered to Jared, who rewarded him with a snort.

Evan wondered if the small noise of approval was worth it when Connor’s eyes were suddenly trained on him. The siblings’ argument was forgotten as Connor stalked up to Evan. Though he was only an inch or two taller, Connor seemed to loom menacingly over Evan. “What was that, Hansen?”

All pride abandoned, Evan immediately shrunk into himself. “I-I’m sorry, I didn’t-- I was-- You were just--”

“Oh, I was ‘just’? Just what, huh? Was I bothering you? Well, maybe it bothers me when I walk into a grocery store to find you and Kleinman making out on the fucking floor!”

“We weren’t making out!” Evan suddenly exclaimed, the near-screaming height of his voice shutting even Connor up. Unfortunately, Evan didn’t know when to shut up until it was too late. “Friends can be affectionate with each other! Not that you’d know, since you’ve got no friends and you wouldn’t know mutual affection if it hit you over the fucking head!”

Evan clasped a hand over his own mouth, as if he could somehow put the words back inside. Connor was stunned only for a moment before he shoved Evan, sending the latter stumbling backwards. “You don’t know shit about me, Hansen! You think you’re so fucking smart with your little comments, don’t you?”

“Stop--”

“Don’t you?”

“N-No--!”

“Fuck you!”

“Connor, that’s enough,” Jared suddenly intruded, pushing Connor back enough so he could wedge himself between he and Evan. “Get out.”

Connor wavered, debating whether he should keep arguing. He seemed to decide that it wasn’t worth it. “Fuck you guys,” he muttered once more before storming out of the store.

Zoe looked utterly exhausted. “I’m so sorry about--”

“Hey, it’s alright,” Jared assured her quickly. “D’you need me to drive you home?”

Zoe Murphy was the exact opposite of her brother. She had the prettiest smile Evan had ever seen. Her hair was soft and her cheeks were rosy. She tucked a lock of hair behind her ear and shook her head. “No, no. I should go calm him down… Thanks, though. Really.” She meant it. Evan could tell. “I’ll, um--” she mustered a crooked smile. “I’ll see you guys around.” She turned to leave, but hesitated, sending the boys another glance. "He's trying," she added, almost vacantly. So tired. "He's trying to get better. I'm really sorry about him."

Then she was gone.

Once Zoe left, Evan broke down. So much for his “no panic attacks” rule. Jared’s arms were sturdy around him, and clutching the back of his Easy Mart vest kept Evan from drowning in his own hysteria. Jared shushed Evan whenever he tried to babble out some incoherent apology. A hand was back in Evan’s hair and it made Evan double over into another fit of sobs from the genuineness of the gesture. “I got you,” Jared promised. “I’m right here.”

Evan was so lucky.

Once he was run dry of tears and utterly exhausted, Evan mumbled that he’d like to go home now, please. “Where’s your car?” he asked once they’d shuffled out into the parking lot.

Jared shrugged. “I was gonna take an Uber. C’mon, I’ll drive you home.” So, so lucky. Evan furled his hand into the fabric of Jared’s jacket, which had taken the place of the Easy Mart vest. “Tired?” Jared asked in response to Evan yawning into his hand. His eyebrow was quirked and his smirk was crooked, but it was overwhelmingly comforting.

Evan nodded, jerky and deliberate, much like a toddler. He climbed into the passenger seat while Jared took the wheel. As soon as he was in the comfort of his mother’s minivan, Evan slumped against the door and rested his head against the window. It was so dark outside. Evan peered over at Jared, who was illuminated by the sickly yellow car light.

“What’re you staring at?” Jared’s voice was so sweet. Evan could hardly breathe.

“Nothing.”

Jared shook his head and reached over for Evan’s hand. Evan gave it to him. He couldn’t imagine a scenario where he wouldn’t give Jared his hand.

“You’re such a weirdo.” There was no venom in the statement. It didn’t sting. Jared squeezed Evan’s hand. It was suddenly a lot less dark outside. “Let’s get you home, Ev."

[showingthroughtome]

7: june 23rd

Instead of taking it as a joke, Jess replies with genuine, flirty inquiry, “Really? You could stop Carly?”

Harry raises his shoulders, and humbly gestures, “Maybe.”

“Alright.” She agrees, crossing her arms and challenges him. The ball is in his court so now it isn’t up to her  which direction things go - if only for this one situation.

read below - mibba - story page - word count: 1482

Neither Harry nor Jess end up going through with their little sabotaging plans. On a very basic level, it turns out that they don’t really dislike camping, or the woods. They’ve always loved being outdoors, getting into little adventures in the park where they can feed the ducks, going down one of the trails that lead them into a forested area, only to have them both running back to their moms to get checked for ticks an hour later. The only differences between that and camping are that they're there much longer and they have to check for their own ticks. Which, they don't mind enough to want to go home - definitely not more than they liked being with their friends, recklessly drinking alcohol they had to get their older siblings to buy.  

By the third and final night, Jessica has mastered the art of finding the perfect wood to make a lasting camp fire. It may be too early to determine, but she feels like an expert in the area, bragging about it as she walks back to the campsite with Ben and Carly flanking her sides.

She's swinging a hefty stick around, boasting, “I mean, look at this. This will burn all night if we let it.”

“It’ll be ash in an hour and a half.” Ben holds up his hands, shielding himself from the stick.

“I give it an hour.” Carly, equally unamused, catches it and pulls it from Jessica’s hands.

Ben leans forward to look around her to Carly. “Are we making this a bet?”

“Guys! You’re not very encouraging of my skills!” Jess reaches to retrieve her find, coming up unsuccessful mostly because she is short, but also because Carly is extremely tall.

“Hey, you gotta leave her alone. It’s not her fault she only can reach five feet off the ground.” Harry shouts from beside their fire.

Jessica had been so preoccupied by her stick that she hadn’t even realized they were approaching the rest of their friends - what was she? A dog?

She looks between Harry and Carly who are now having a small stare down - Carly’s hand is still in the air and another one is keeping Jess away from her goal. Harry’s expression is one of playful business while Carly’s face reads pure joy. Harry lifts a finger, pointing sternly.

“Ugh, fine.” Carly lowers her arm and hands over the sturdy piece of wood. “It’s kind of sad to literally hold things over your head.”

Jess nods, sarcastically agreeing. “Yeah, I get it. Kind of like how it is to see you try to find something that is actually flammable.”

As soon as the words are out of her mouth, she takes off into a jog to hide behind a snickering Niall and Harry. Niall holds up one of the skewers him and Harry had been putting hotdogs on and aims it in the direction Jessica had come from. When looking back, she finds out that Carly hasn’t even taken a step towards her yet.

“Chill. I’m not gonna attack you.” Carly claims, hands on hip, playing innocent though everyone knows that's never been true.

Ben comes to her side, throws an arm around her neck and grimaces, “Babe, you do know pranks in the night are the same as attacks?”

“Yeah! Pranks at night especially count as attacks.” Jessica peers around Harry's shoulder, emphasizing her point. If Carly is going to retaliate, she would much rather it happen when one of her senses isn’t fucked any further than it usually is. Jess squeezes Harry’s upper arm so he’ll make his stance on her side known.

“Especially.” He nods, and then points his skewer more directly with the most unalarming frown ever.

“Thanks.” Jess huffs.

Carly drops her few pieces of firewood on the pile and throws up her hands in defeat. “Seriously guys. I can take a joke now without getting angry. You’ll see.”

She swings her arm around Ben’s waist and then the two take a seat on a sleeping bag laid out over the dirt.

“Ben, watch your girl.” Jessica pleads, winking at Carly when they make eye contact and becomingly slightly alarmed when Carly doesn’t return one, seeming actually, a little bit pissed indeed.

Jessica shudders at the thought. She places her firewood right in the flame that’s still lightly burning from the one they started for lunch. Soon enough, it’ll be big enough to roast their dinner.

“Do you think I should worry about that?” She asks the boys even though she knows Carly wont do anything that will actually harm her, perhaps something like a demonic symbol drawn on her forehead in permanent ink or sticking her hand in a cup of warm water so she’ll pee her pants like an anxious eight year old.

“I would be.” Niall shakes his head in grief, remembering, “Last time I joked on Carly, she told every girl that I brought into the apartment that I was a crier.”

“No.” Harry slaps his forehead with pity for his friend, shaking his curls and laughing. “That is undesirable.”

“Dude.” Jessica deflates for the guy, only imagining how awkward the follow up conversation could be to that. No offense, but who wants to hear how emotional someone is at first contact with a friend?

“Ehh, that’s okay.” Niall pats the hand Harry had placed on his shoulder comfortingly. “I did get her back. Apparently she doesn’t like honey more than shaving cream. Weird.” Niall smirks, leaving his friends to think about that as he backs away to do something else.

Harry and Jessica grin at the possibilities then face each other, shaking their heads in regret for the roommates who just signed a lease for another whole year.

“They’ll kill each other.” Jessica jokes in delight at her friend's expense.

“They think they’re actually on a prank show.” Harry agrees with a nod. He swats a bug that flies for his face and then returns more seriously, obviously worried for his best friend, “But, seriously, stay alert. I think she spotted a bee hive earlier.”

“Oh my god, Harry. Shut up.” She pushes him with all her might, heart beating faster at the teasing. With all of her friends making jokes about it, the only thing that keeps her from panicking is the thought - she can take a joke now. Carly isn’t fifteen anymore. She can take one little joke now.

“I guess I could sleep in your tent with you to make sure nothing bad happens.” He offers with a smile, eyes on her red vinyl tent set up right next to his yellow one. Even though it wasn’t planned, every one of them brought their own two person tent, figuring they’d share with someone who forgot their own. Since it was their first camping trip, they all chalked it up to a rookie mistake and enjoyed the breathing room as they slept through those warm summer nights.

It would be a lie to say that she didn’t think about maybe sleeping in the same tent with Harry and what that would do. Would it make things awkward? Would it speed things up? Would it leave them in this limbo?

Instead of taking it as a joke, Jess replies with genuine, flirty inquiry, “Really? You could stop Carly?”

Harry raises his shoulders, and humbly gestures, “Maybe.”

“Alright.” She agrees, crossing her arms and challenges him. The ball is in his court so now it isn’t up to her  which direction things go - if only for this one situation.

“Cause I’ve been thinkin’ ‘bout forever. Oooh.” Nat, coming out of the woods to the right of them, sings, dancing with grooving shoulders as she croons, “Or do you not think so far ahead?”

She stops right next to them, interrupting their not so innocent, flirty banter entirely.

“That is the ultimate shower song… or I guess, slightly-gross-lake-water-hair-washing song.” She exhales and thinks, “Definitely the more accurate title.”

Then she looks between them and cracks a smile, breaking character of Obnoxious Camping Nat.

“Nat, I love you with my entire soul.” Jess claims in her most serious tone, covering her heart and throwing her arm around her fellow short person. With all her attention on Nat, together they walk to a sleeping bag and prepare a hotdog. Once Nat is sat down, she sees that the fire was left to dwindle under the care of her friends so she gets right back up and complains the whole time she stokes the fire.

For the rest of the night, over red cups and shot glasses, Jess catches Harry’s eyes more than a few times. And at the end of the night, she zips her tent up with tipsy fingers, comfortable to be alone because Carly had complained about being tired for a while before she crashed hard hours ago.

authors note:

hiii! im personally not that happy with this chapter. i feel like its not the strongest one ive ever written. imma let you guys who actually read my notes in on a secret: i write a lot of this story while high. i mean, thats when the story came to me so why not? lol a lot of the time that works out for me but idk about this one. this just seems a little choppy. choppy stoned lauren came out and idk how to fix it (or maybe i am just accepting it for what it is lolol??) hopefully you can stay with me for the next one. because man oh man, we are building up to something!

please please please let me know what you think!!!!!!!!

thank you so so so much to @what-comes-from-within for betaing this for me as she does everything i put out these days, she is the bees knees <3

thank you so much for reading!

- lauren

[flame-cat]

idk why im making this but its fun, maybe some fahc writers can use it

note- since im making these notes to fit into fahc-verse, i use she/her with jack. more to be added... uh... whenever

asset seizure and firewall protection

almost immediately- gavin calls money "bundts." ryan immediately understands what he means :25- jack points out ryans fish tank is broken. ryan insists its supposed to look that way, and that jack doesnt understand art :47- ryan insists everyone try on costumes. michael is the only one not upset about his fashion choices 1:10- gavin admits that "none of these outfits are more douchey than what i usually wear." michael agrees

1:50- michael explains jack is replacing jeremy. gavin says he feels sorry for jeremy. michael says "you feel sorry for him, but thats not stopping you from joining." gavin agrees 3:20- "michael, you wanna fistfight on the helipad?" gavin says, with no prompting whatsoever. michael nonchalantly agrees, but says he cant make it up there, and suggests gavin jump from the roof to the lobby below. gavin does so. jack immediately runs at gavin and punches him in the face. michael joins the brawl against gav soon after. gavin loses. ryan, meanwhile, just sorta lets them have their fun 5:20- gavin: "because this is the vehicle that most, closestly, resembles, my face, can i drive it?" *referring to the "nose car"* 5:30- ryan expresses discomfort at the others' revealing attire. michael jokes "you know you want it" 5:54- gavin: "oh, jack, nice pair of tits!" jack: "oh, thank you! ive been working out" 6:10- *no prompting* gavin: "oh, dude, im jumpin' out!" ryan *nonchalant*: "why?" jack: "bye, gavin!" gavin: "wheee!" ryan: "dont die this time." 6:20- ryan: "its on hard. cause we're hard... core." 6:35- gavin *confused and slightly disappointed*: "i dont think theres anyone to shoot" 7:05- michael: "oh, ryan, youre in the coolest spot" ryan: "yeah, no, this is the death spot" michael: "yeah, youll die, but youll look cool doing it" 7:15- jack *a little sarcastically* "good thing we all have body armor on" *everyone but michael laughs* michael: "i do..." 7:40- *gavin nearly flips the car, everyone yells* ryan: "gavin! this is why we dont let you drive the car!" michael *nonchalant*: "its ok, im still hangin on" noteworthy throughout- everyone appears to cringe and make distgusted noises at civilians being hurt, but laugh at the same time in a grotesquely fascinated way 8:40- *gavin crashes, everyone falls off* gavin: "ive found the first road block" ryan: "didjya??? is it your driving skills??" noteworthy- ryan always appears most peeved at gavins lack of driving skills. michael usually takes it in stride noteworthy- jack is usually the least vocal in times of crisis 9:20- gavin expresses pride in taking out some trucks and cars. ryan is preoccupied with the fact that he was shot multiple times. michael, indignant, says he "was bippin" noteworthy- michael and ryan tend to argue in times of crisis. its usually michael who starts it 9:40- ryan abandons the vehicle in favor of shooting people on foot, unhappy with gavins driving. he passes it off as "being able to shoot better" but its a thinly veiled passive aggressive jab at gavins apparent unconcern for his friends wellbeing noteworthy- ryan is the king of snark 9:45- gavin sends a car flying into the river, and cheers and hollers. michael nonchalantly says "that was actually... the was pretty awesome." he doesnt seem sarcastic 9:45- meanwhile, having said nothing this whole time, jack is on foot trying to actually complete the mission, probably aware ryan is also, but not with him. she launches an explosive and sets it off, very close to ryan, who appears alarmed. jack just intones "thats me dont worry," and ryan just responds "ok" and doesnt bring it up again noteworthy- jack likes to get things done on her own. so does ryan. ryan and jack appear to have a silent agreement not to get in each others way. ryan appears more forgiving to jack when/if she screws up noteworthy- gavin is always the first and loudest to react to things. ryan follows close behind, more agitated than elated, michael next, and then jack, who mostly seems peeved noteworthy- ryan always gets most agitated with gavin, but its usually when gavin comes close to hurting him noteworthy- though they go off on their own a lot, they keep up constant communication 10:20- ryan: "oops, i shot gavin a bit" gavin: "ah, thats alright." ryan: "dont die. nobody die" *sounding strained* 10:50- not planned, but ryan and michael end up on loading, gavin keeps cops off them with the truck, jack is on foot doing the same 11:40- ryan: "uh, probably someone else should drive... since gavins gonna have to hop out and get drugs" gavin: "nah, ill hop out when we get there" ryan: "...okay" 11:44- unprompted, michael checks to see if ryan is ok. which he is not. short while later, michael mentions hes not doing much better, to which ryan expresses a small amount of concern. no one else comments 11:48- michael falls out somehow. gavin just laughs 12:10- jack: "woohoo! bye, fuckers!" noteworthy- michael seems very subdued here 12:13- michael mentions inevitable failure. gavin: "dyou think we will?" *genuinely suprised* 12:25- michael eggs gavin on as he crashes into and flips cars. he then remembers that he should probably be doing something about the cops behind them. jack agrees, apparently not paying attention either 13:10- gavin makes zooming sounds as they drive off. this appears to be something he does a lot. no one else comments on it 13:35- *approaching a road block* gavin: "dude, which one should i hit?" ryan: "ALL OF THEM!" 13:45- everyone else yells in excitement. michael just seems a little shocked and says, a little louder than usual: "oh my god they fucking exploded" noteworthy- ryan is usually the one to remind the others of the task at hand. jack is content to ride back seat, and gavin and michael are busy being... well, them 13:50- michael *shooting cops*: "bipbipbipbipbipbipbip" gavin: *mimicking intense chase music* the others dont make a comment on it noteworthy- ryan and jack seem content to just let michael and gavin be weirdos without really paying attention to it 14:20- michael freaks out about being shot and dying. ryan, slightly panicked, just tells him not to die over and over again. it doesnt work noteworthy- when gavin asks a question, michael is quickest to reply. ryan is right behind him 15:00- gavin, probably realizing its only fair, asks if anyone wants to drive. ryan accepts after giving everyone armor noteworthy- while jack always gets pinned as "team mom," its more ryan than anyone else. jack tends to just do her own thing. i imagine she would be an excellent mercenary, since she tends not to ask a lot of questions 15:40- jack is not sitting very lady-like 15:45- everyone: *freaking out about to crash* *make it out ok* michael *calmly*: "we're good, we're good." it should be noted he's driving noteworthy- if we're assigning familial roles, then michael is the big brother 16:00- gavin falls out. michael says sorry through his chuckling 16:30- ryan: "its a linear plowing apparatus." what a massive dork 17:00- when jack laughs, theres no holding back. you wanna talk about cancer-curing laughs? right behind geoff ramsey 17:15- gavin is usually a step ahead of everyone else when thinking of ideas. when it comes to focusing on the present, though, he gets caught up in his own head noteworthy- gavin is always the first to admit when he's lost control of a situation noteworthy- ryan never outright rejects anyones ideas, almost ever. if he does, he usually provides sound reasoning, or is joking 17:30- gavin: "oh, i felt bad about that. a cop landed after your smash and i just executed him in the head." no one comments 17:55- roles are switched now: ryan is on foot as a mercenary, michael is doing the same in the truck, and gavin and jack are getting the goods. noteworthy- gavin uses birght fuscia weapons far more than gold ones 18:40- jack is focused and nearly kills ryan 19:20- gavin starts singing. jack boisterously joins in immediately. jack then goes on to talk about something he watched recently, and gavin seems interested 19:55- the truck nearly tips over. everyone freaks out briefly, but once the crisis is averted, gavin and jack immediately go back to their conversation. it should be noted michael is driving 20:20- this time the truck does flip over. michael runs over gavin accidentally. gavin doesnt seem perturbed, though, even when michael apologises. seconds later, he even comments that this "might be the best mission yet" noteworthy- gavin doesnt appear to care a whole lot for his own safety 21:20- jack starts singing. this time gavin joins in 21:40- gavin: "this is, like, fast and furious material. did they ever have one of these?" ryan: "uh, they shouldve" noteworhy- ryan appears to always have some sort of heavy weaponry on him. no one comments on this noteworthy- they discuss team responsibilities while theyre doing things. absolutely no planning whatsoever: they "work" on the fly 22:20- gavin panics about dying. ryan, again, helpfully tells him to "dont die, dont die, please." remarkably, this doesnt work the second time either