#GOD DAMMIT I MISS THEM
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STOP BC I WAS LITERALLY THINKING OF REREADING TMI TODAY AND THIS MAKES ME WANNA DO IT SO MF BADLY [SCREAMS]
Simon and Clary at Java Jones
🎨: @imjenndove
#GOD DAMMIT I MISS THEM#AND I AM ACRUALLY GENUINELY CONSIDERING A TRIP TO NYC AT SOME POINT BC OF THE TMI GANG#THANK U FOR GIVING ME HOLIDAY DESTINATION IDEAS GUYS🫶🏻#(no but seriously i wanna reread AND go to nyc……. why must everything cost money)#clary fairchild#simon lewis#cassandra clare#the mortal instruments#tmi#tsc art#tsc
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#911 abc#bobby nash#michael grant#god i just miss them so much. like. sorry but the absence of their relationship has been FELT#dammit rockmund *shakes fist*#k spirals
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wdym jeonghan enlistment and junhui acting break what do you mean WHAT DO YOU MEAN
#yena talks#ive been avoiding thoughts on svt enlistment for ages because it just. didnt feel real#and then for them to drop that AND junhui being gone???????#my emotional support magpie friend jeonghan and my emotional support “do stars have feelings” kitty junhui#just. gone????????#i know no break is forever (just yet) and junhuis acting is a good thing but im going to MISS THEM god fuckinh dammit
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i’m so fine and normal about this guys
#ugh#this is because i was clowning on pleasing posting a model wearing a ‘you’re insecure’ shirt isn’t it#GOD DAMMIT#guys i fucking miss them so much i cannot do it anymore#when they announce the reunion if i don’t get tickets… bad things will happen#someone will need to keep an eye on me at all times to make sure i don’t do something drastic#ugh just. they’re just the best#i just miss them#sorry for teenage girl posting it will happen again#one direction#niall horan#harry styles#😞
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sorry i can’t talk rn i’m rereading mockingjay for the first time since 2012 and i’m still bitter about effie not being in it and having to read f*cking plutarch and fulvia say her lines😤
#yes i’m very attached to mockingjay pt. 1#no i’m not seething that one of my fave characters isn’t even in the book (🤬)#i adore you suzanne but that is probably the one (1) thing about this series you snafued😂#thank god she saw the error of her ways and agreed to let them put effie in the movie#not me reading plutarch say ‘i miss coffee’ and wanting to break something#because that’s effie’s line dammit#the hunger games#the hunger games mockingjay#the hunger games series#the hunger games trilogy#thg series#thg#thg books#thg movies#mockingjay#mockingjay part 1#the mockingjay#effie trinket#haymitch x effie#effie x haymitch#elizabeth banks#suzanne collins
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welp. starting off my birthday by holding a funeral for my oldest houseplant(s)
#crying in the kitchen 😎✌#im going to miss these little guys so much i have loved them SO much over the past 13 years..... god dammit yall........#i never shouldve put them in the kitchen i shouldve kept them with me in my bedroom#the poor little guys have been thru SO much cold stress the past year. even during heatwaves#bc of the dumb fucking stone windowsill UGH >:/#im going to miss them i love them so much :(((((((#ill never forget them :'(#this all sounds very dramatic and thats becuase it IS i am legit crying fjhdjdjshjrjshdks :')#mine
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hey look it’s my blorbos
YAY the first time I’ve completed art in time for pride month!! here’s some of the chars from the sketchbook kid AU celebrating with the most boring backgrounds ever 🌈 I’m gonna ramble under the cut, you know the drill
sooo I think I’ve already mentioned that Mattie is trans, but fyi Kaisa is in this universe as well!!
tbh I actually didn’t have this idea for them both to start with, it just kinda happened that way and ngl I just…I love the idea of Mattie having someone close to her right from the start who just gets it, and that Kaisa gets to have that shared experience with her. I think before Mattie was born Kaisa would have initially had some worries deep down about if the kid took after her too much (in terms of her not great experiences with magic and self-doubt, being a bit of an awkward mess (affectionate) ) but instead she gets to see Mattie taking after her in a whole bunch of ways and just thriving 🥺 and she gets to be a source of support and understanding that maybe she didn’t have herself when she was younger. anyway these witches are trans and I care them so much you guys 🥺
aaaand hey look I drew Harvey’s parents for once! btw in my headcanons for this AU Harvey’s parent on the left of him is non-binary and goes with any pronouns but mainly they/them! Harvey calls them Ren (short for parent). also I have names for these two now!! I’ve been calling Harvey’s parent Lin (left) (partly bc it means ‘forest’... like have you SEEN this couple’s living room wall, they are plant obsessed and I’m keeping it) and his mom is Nia (right). congrats on breaking the hilda curse of adults not having names guys 😌
and, ok, realistically I don’t think Arwen has fully come out or anything at the time of my comics but I wanted to include her anyway - and before anyone comes at me about how kids can’t be gay or whatever I’ll remind you that no one seems to have this problem with kids in other cartoons getting obligatory het crushes all the time, and in my own experience some people just figure themselves out a lot sooner than others (personally I didn’t find the right label til I was 20 but looking back the signs were there since I was 11 lol). anyway Arwen is quite introspective and searching as a person, so I think she’s got this a little bit figured out by now, even if she’ll probably be keeping it to herself for a while. there’s no way she’s talking about her thoughts on romance if Mattie’s in the vicinity
#i missed mermay bc i was busy so god dammit i am NOT missing pride month#maybe i'll do more with like. the actual main characters of hilda LMAO but in the meantime. look at them#hilda the series#hilda netflix#mattie#art tag#harvey#arwen#hilda kaisa#hilda oc#pride month#pride art#hilda ocs tag#mattieverse
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anyways sometimes i wonder if i'm meant to be connected with people. don't get me wrong i appreciate my friends, but like my quality of life wouldn't go down too much if i hadn't met them. i like digging information out of people. they lose a lot of appeal once i know too much about them. i don't really have any kind of interest in pursuing any kind of relationship with people, romantic or platonic. i could take people or leave them. dunno
#they're playing ahead by a century on the radio and it's great#i love the colour of that one. it's pretty much just a night sky. the instrumentals are a dark blue and the white stars#and his voice is a lovely green that makes me think of the northern lights#i know i talk shit but i don't think i could leave canada for good#might head further north eventually but i'll stay in the country#dunno i got some synesthesia that only shows up sometimes or some shit idfk man#though rn i am bitching about none of them understanding the situation from our (mine and my brothers) side#like yeah i know you guys have jobs.#are you trying to search for one for yourself?#while helping your parents business because if that goes under we're ROYALLY fucked?#while worrying about a buddy of yours genuinely going missing?#i'll b real he was a huge help by the end of that job once everyone else who liked me left#anyways#no? none of those apply? then shut the fuck up about us getting the dates wrong. we gave#god fucking dammit im trying to type and hit the wrong button im going to fucking make a bed with the fishes#yes we got the dates mixed up. cope. bitch. we have actual real life problems to deal with.#sorry our shit got in the way of your plans. i guess. still don't see why i had to apologise but maybe im just a genuinely shitty person#one self centered motherfucker#anyways thats my word vomit for the night. might delete l8r. dunno
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facing a bit of a social media quagmire again lately because the thing is, i left twitter (mostly) because i couldn't stand using a site owned by such a complete shitheel. but tumblr is also run by complete shitheels, so there's really no winning, is there lmao. twitter at least is more conducive to interacting with others, but i like tumblr's organization features and the ability to write out long posts like this.... i mean. i know i don't have to just choose one. i guess i'm just debating if maybe i should give twitter a try again, just so i can have more consistent contact with my friends.... i highly value my alone time but even i get lonely past a certain point. 😭
#twt just gets so stressful for me. so so so stressful.#i'd have to consider ways to curtail that if i were to go back...#but god dammit i miss my friends. i miss them so much tails.#i'm glad i get to talk to some of you here but like i said tumblr just isn't really made for connecting. sigh#lots to think about....#txt
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i totally get why LfW isn’t covering the novels (aside from that early bit of Study in Scarlet) but it does kill me a little that we didn’t do Hound at some point because like. man.
'Well, I am glad from my heart that you are here, for indeed the responsibility and the mystery were both becoming too much for my nerves. But how in the name of wonder did you come here, and what have you been doing? I thought that you were in Baker Street working out that case of blackmailing.'
'That was what I wished you to think.'
'Then you use me, and yet do not trust me!' I cried, with some bitterness. 'I think that I have deserved better at your hands, Holmes.'
'My dear fellow, you have been invaluable to me in this as in many other cases, and I beg that you will forgive me if I have seemed to play a trick upon you. In truth, it was partly for your own sake that I did it, and it was my appreciation of the danger which you ran which led me to come down and examine the matter for myself. […] As it is, I have been able to get about as I could not possibly have done had I been living at the Hall, and I remain an unknown factor in the business, ready to throw in all my weight at a critical moment.'
'But why keep me in the dark?'
'For you to know could not have helped us, and might possibly have led to my discovery. You would have wished to tell me something, or in your kindness you would have brought me out some comfort or other, and so an unnecessary risk would be run. […]
I was still rather raw over the deception which had been practised upon me, but the warmth of Holmes's praise drove my anger from my mind. I felt also in my heart that he was right in what he said, and that it was really best for our purpose that I should not have known that he was upon the moor.
'That's better,' said he, seeing the shadow rise from my face.
like. man. passages to have been published within a year or two of “Empty House,” huh
#sherlock holmes#HOUN#EMPT#it didn't really strike me the first god-knows-how-many times i read EMPT (or HOUN for that matter)#but at some point i was rereading the whole canon but misplaced Hound and so skipped right to the Return#and the reveal seemed so weirdly understated and quickly glossed over to the point it felt like half the conversation was missing?#and then my copy of Hound turned up again and i got to the reveal *there* and just had a moment of oh.#oh‚ *there* it is#that's why we don't get more about the deception or anything about watson feeling hurt or angry let alone holmes' explanation#or the two of them talking things out and all of it being okay again#because we don't need it in the Empty House because we already got that conversation#more or less#in Hound#also [slams fist on table] HOLMES SPENDS THIS ENTIRE CONVERSATION PRAISING AND THANKING WATSON#AND CALLING HIM INVALUABLE AND SAYING HE COULDN'T HAVE DONE IT WITHOUT WATSON'S HELP DAMMIT#he refuses to stop emphasizing how important watson has been to the case until watson smiles!!!#and even then he brings it up again later in the conversation more than once!!!#YES i am still holding a grudge against The Hound of the Baskervilles (1939) dir. Sidney Lanfield NO i will not let this go
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i found my old sheet music from high school, and found one of my absolute favorite pieces we ever played, and i have the most severe bout of painful nostalgia i’ve had in a while
#it’s been 10+ years#that fucking hurts#i miss high school so much sometimes#no it wasn’t the best time of my life or anything i fully believe that those days are coming#but as of my life right now i truly peaked in high school#god dammit i miss playing in orchestra so fucking badly#that was what my entire life revolved around at the time#nothing else really compared#it was my entire life to play violin in that orchestra#i just miss it so much i feel like i’ve been chasing that high ever since#i might reach out to my old teacher and find out if i can join them for their spring program#it’s probably been a while since he had alumni perform with them so that could be fun#i want to cry i miss those days so badly it hurts#journal 2024
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aight now i'll do ng+
#i will fight whoever at rgg studio thought miss match was a good idea for a minigame#but other than that i had a blast with infinite wealth#9.5/10 it's fun but i'd say wait until the game and dlc are on sale#yeah i still hate them charging for new game plus and the bonus dungeon but modern gaming is a mistake#by modern i mean having to pay extra for what should've been part of the base game as is god fucking dammit#sega is turning into capcom with dlc strategies (half joking)#ichiban's hawaiian adventure#kiryu's time in yokohama#nat plays games
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Living life yay huzzah yay
#a#I have beef with my school. am I happy here? absolutely. do I think we are beyond lame for not having an actual guy? 100%#letters don’t count!!!!!!!! having a capital letter for your school doesn’t count!!!!!!!!!!#like it’s not even a complete absence of a team no just like a silly little physical guy than runs across the field#and can be all cute on stuff on shirts and be stuffed animals it’s the marketing potential they’re missing out on#though I guess I’d rather have no physical dude than one which sucks complete ass I’m talking about pen state fuck that guy#I need to watch the gnomes again wait oh my fucking god I was thinking like damn I did the gnomeo juliet ace attorney moment#but my brain is knee deep in hellsing so idk how to connect them but bruh every piece of media has some form of rivals#I’m not emotionally invested in andercard but the idea of Catholic and Protestant gnomes is really funny#and they’re already British!! lovely!!! at some point in college I need to use gnomes for a grade I can’t let that be a high school only bit#did you know that gnomeo and Juliet is technically owned by Disney? add that to your marvel cinematic universe#oh gnomeo and Juliet poster we’re really in it now#did you know that the version of hello hello that’s in the movie featuring lady Gaga is not on streaming services? they take lady Gaga out#it’s really unfortunate the echos and duet aspect make the song it’s not just one or the other it’s Two Gnomes!!#have two exam grades back that I have not looked at out of fear#either they’ll be bad and I’ll watch hellsing to make myself feel better Or they’ll be good and I’ll watch hellsing as a reward#unrelated but it looks like a gutter on the other side of my dorm got busted and I’m trying to figure out if it’s always been like that#maybe it has and I’m not a gutter glorifier like I thought I was…. rip observational skills#I have a group project I have to work on and it’s evil I do not enjoy the class and it’s not very lgbt slay girlboss of me#but god dammit I am not filling out a fucking gender unicorn for your class that’s between me and my tumblr drafts from 2019#it gets a credit out of the way and I never have to take it again I am so strong#man what does it say about society that I’m more excited about Econ than wgs (it says nothing the Econ professor is just goofy and fun)#(also he does more than read off of slides and show those like buzzfeed social experiments)#but none of that is important since next week is when things get fucked and I’ll end up with more free time! yay strikes!!#update: made it back from project zone those fuckers held me hostage using social norms#it’s okay though I’m sooo strong and brave#talkingcore
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is dying my hair three weeks before my brothers wedding stupid? yes. am i doing it anyway? also yes.
#ooc#LISTEN AN OLD PHOTO FROM EIGTH GRADE POPPED UP AND MADE ME NOSTOLGIC#i miss my christina perri inspried chunky blonde stripe#and god dammit im gonna rock them again#*stripes
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it's also stupid because like i just straight up don't know how to talk about it i don't know what you want me to want! tend to think you just want me to "get over" the horrors your cultist friends keep inflicting on me which is not happening y'all are just evil af and because it's you when i personally want to know things about you want ten million other things want to be friends with you want to just straight up marry you forever and wouldn't hesitate even for a second all of these things badly and i have no idea which one is appropriate but doing all that for any cultist is like insane regardless of which one it is but they're all important ✨to me✨ at least but if you really just want to be evil so bad because it feels more normal to you for some reason there's barely even any point in talking about it but it's about you as hell it's also about the cult being fucked up and hurting freaking everyone and ruining everything and me just having to look at it for years now and for some reason it's always like as if i say something it just cancels out everything else i said but it literally doesn't it's really just EVERYTHING
#so you're either being any of these really cool things with me and stop downplaying his behavior#or he's getting cursed#and it won't be just because i'm trying to get you to stop enabling the cult and hurting me it's also because i'm hurt by the cult#i just can't really imagine myself having enough space for all that trauma bullshit in my head if i'm with you#but also it would only work like that with you because you're from the cult yourself and you're amazing and epic#and that last part is important i would just be angry otherwise though still caring because i'm stupid or something#depending on how you would be acting about it exactly i guess but not the point#he's also absolutely getting cursed if he tries anything weird on you or anyone else like 10000000% cursed#need to practice my curses anyway for other things too and everything#like damn the only reason for me *not* to worry about you is just some weird hierarchy bullshit#where hurting some people like that is just always okay regardless#when i literally just didn't do anything except had emotions about things that happened to me#talking about robotic :\#and you didn't do anything except having emotions about me and me having emotions so it's really just such bullshit#like sure there could be other things you can be a bit hard to read sometimes and impulsive and stuff but he also hates all these things >>#about me so much to the point of just wanting them erased completely along with my entire self of course it was that too#and it's fundamentally messed up it's literally torture we're talking about after all#miss you basically idk❤️#dammit i'm not talking like that to people to whom me talking just means they're still in control and can keep me trapped and tortured#i'm talking like that to them because they're worth it to me even if they become 100% a cultist#and i don't want to hurt them just because i'm extremely hurt#nvm just saw something these god damn freaking cultists god🙄#skip up a little now⬆️
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The chaos of us finding a hyperfixation, because somehow this works. (System shenanigans under the cut)
Don't- Don't ask how it's 20 people in front. It looks like chaos, but it works, and tends to monitor common fronters without having to go in every hour or so to fix it up.
^The order^
^The roommates in Avantris^
It's... Uhh, it's chaos. But, it works?
#system shenanigans#anyways now to change clothes-#UPROOTED! OH MY GOD I FUCKING KNEW I WAS MISSING A CAMPAIGN-#ughhhh dammit.#and my batteries at fucking 10% so i can't fix that right now :(#just know: there is a booker a grumley and a bitsy at least#not in front but they're still there#and yes before anyone asks: I asked them if this was okay and they're all okay with it#Victoria held me at knifepoint until I got Kana in before taking the screenshots#the cursed goblin
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