#GIVE ME FUJISAKI!!

[dream-launch]

Please god let Jan's character be a new character and have fujisaki be in the fucking series

[quinns-art-box]

rarepair week day 3: studying/shopping

i thought maybe…. shopping online for computer parts?? they're just hanging out and being nerds. together <3 (i see chihiro as nonbinary and transfem, i don't mind if you have a different hc but please be respectful!!)

@dr-rarepair-week-blog

[krynutsreal]

DTIYS I did for insta :)

[drawbauchery]

I think I might be going insane Kinda funny how my entire process changes when I'm working on another person's sketch. Not too sure how well it worked tho.

(bbugz)

actually obsessed with this

[aparticularbandit]

I know we universally dislike how Danganronpa handled Chihiro and "he dresses like a girl because it makes him feel comfortable and less anxious but also he wants to become stronger so that he can shed his anxious feminine self and be a real man" but.

I had less of a problem than maybe I should have.

Because.

That's Ritsu's storyline in Fruits Basket (albeit with less murder). Ritsu dresses as a woman - full Hiyoko style get-up - because it makes him less anxious, because it calms him. His idea is that when he becomes more confident and sure of himself (and feels less like his existence is a blight on the entire world for which he must apologize (hi Mikan)), he will dress in suits and be more manly. In fact, the main character, Tohru, believes he is a woman until it's revealed otherwise, and this is seen as a deep point of shame.

However.

Fruits Basket also gives us Ayame Sohma, who overflows with the most confidence of anyone in the entire series, and who also. is a fashionista. Also occasionally wears women's clothing (a wedding dress, at one point, because his clothing store is to fulfill men's fantasies, and one of them is apparently wearing a wedding dress and getting married). Does not see a problem with stylizing his little brother's clothes as more feminine or putting him in a dress (despite said little brother very much not liking being mistaken for a woman or having people mention how feminine he looks).

Like.

Ayame aggressively does not care about your gender roles ever at any point in time.

And Fruits Basket tells us that this is the person Ritsu wants to emulate.

So like.

I should have a problem with how Danganronpa handled Chihiro.

But I'm also starting to wonder how common a plot point/trope this sort of thing is in Japanese media.

[dangans-ur-ronpas]

the pixie chihiro (and alter ego)

chihiro's wings are warped and damaged from birth, so flying is impossible. as such, they built and enchanted a wooden puppet to carry them around, and named it alter ego

alter ego is also sentient...in a way it is an extension of chihiro that can also think for itself? the string tied around alter ego's wrist links it to chihiro

instead of computer programming, chihiro specializes in making enchanted objects, including enchanted dolls. alter ego is not their only puppet but its the one they like the most

chihiro is self-conscious about keeping up with others given their size and inability to fly, so will usually only introduce themself when piloting alter ego. because of this most others assume chihiro is a magic, sentient doll

[k0k1ch1111]

Danganronpa fangame update

heressss my sideblog @danganronpafc

U can follow it 4 actual series update stuff lmao

Xoxo 😋❤️

[rainbowkeyboardyippee]

Me finding out that Naoto wasn't a boy because she lowkey gave me gender envy and still does but now I have to put up with my gender envy character being she/her femaled and probably objectified

[brainfilehasstoppedworking]

Takaaki while washing dishes: Boys are dogs, Chi-Chi, they'll be trying to grab you and touch you all over. And if you have a boyfriend, he'll be wanting to have sex everyday which can possibly lead to teen pregnancy.

Takaaki: That's why you need to have a boyfriend when you're 27, got it?

Chiaki's aroace ass: *looks up from her video game and gives him a thumbs up*

Takaaki: Good, and if they ever try anything just punch 'em in the nose!

[mecchimon]

Chi-chi

this was my first time ever drawing a doodle compilation and I'm really proud of how it turned out !

Especially this lol

[danggirlronpa]

AT THE FEET OF POOR ATLAS; a mixed-genre chihiro fujisaki playlist (1/4 ultimate girl semifinalist playlists)

[spotify]

tracklist:

HOW TO DRESS AS HUMAN / TAMAGOTCHI MASSACRE

Million Dollar Secret / Lucius

Poor Atlas / Dessa

Transgender Dysphoria Blues / Against Me!

I Wanna Get Better / The Bleachers

Halloween / Chris Garneau

(Coffee's for Closers) / Fall Out Boy

Oats We Sow / Gregory and the Hawk

[redxx95]

Exploring Kurosawa's internalized homophobia and compulsive heteronormativity

oh yea baby we bustin out the Big Words for this one 😎

This was supposed to be posted at the end of pride month but Life happened and it got delayed a lot 😩 So yea happy pride month (and happy birthday Kurosawa I guess 😂)

(btw I think I've never mentioned this on any of my other posts but english is not my first language, so if anything I write ever sounds awkward, that's probably why 😅) (also I had to merge a bunch of images to get around the image limit, this post is really long, the word count is at 1930 words 💀)

Hope you guys enjoy the read! 💞

Spoilers for anything up to vol 11

Let me start this by saying that there's no actual textual evidence of Kurosawa being gay (rather than bi/pan), so this interpretation is definitely veering towards headcanon territory. I'm also not trying to establish this as the only Correct opinion and anyone is of course allowed to have their own sexuality headcanons, this is very healthy and valid 👍

Kurosawa's internalized homophobia

The first scene I want to put under a magnifying glass is this one.

Let's examine what's going on here: Kurosawa has just tried to kiss Adachi, whose hesitation he perceived as disgust. Then he pretends it was disgusting for him too, because he thinks that is the average reaction anyone would have, extending this to Adachi as well. The way he says "who'd be into that?" is already lowkey homophobic, but the japanese line makes it even more evident: "普通嫌だよな" (= "Normally, you'd dislike that right?"). Keyword here being "普通" = "normal, ordinary", implying that anyone who would like that is abnormal. So what does that say about him then, who was so happy to get the chance to kiss another man? This is pretty much textbook internalized homophobia, where he has accepted what he perceives to be the general opinion on gay people and has made those values his own, hating himself for it (albeit only briefly here), which is why he internally apologizes to Adachi.

This is not the only instance of him feeling like that, although this next part is slightly more speculative than the more obvious example above.

So we all know that Kurosawa is a jealous, jealous man. It's one of his defining character traits and it's often the source of conflict and comedy alike. But he does not express his jealousy equally across genders. With men he has this strong rivalry where he needs to prove himself better and more worthy of Adachi's attention.

But with women he has a different approach: gently coaxing them away from him, lest they realize what a catch Adachi really is.

So, why this difference? The answer I have is that he doesn't actually believe he can compete with a woman. If Adachi wants to be close with a man, Kurosawa thinks it might as well be him, he's the best option after all. But if Adachi wants a woman, he cannot offer anything and is therefore the inferior option. He believes this even after he found out Adachi's not completely repulsed at the idea of being with a man. Even if Adachi's okay with men, he'll always prefer a woman.

And whenever he imagines anyone else with Adachi, it's always a woman, specifically Fujisaki, which he believes is "his type".

And he at least thinks he's very far away from that ideal. (He's not but that's a topic for a different essay.) If anyone's wondering why he even bothers at all then if he's so sure that a woman will out-compete him, I think the lyrics from the anime opening actually put it best, specifically the last verse:

I have these impatient feelings I doubt this love will come to fruition But still I can't give up this happiness There's a feeling here I can't resist A love like a castle in the sky

So basically, his plan is that he might as well ride the high of his first ever crush as far as it will go, intercepting where he can to prolong it just that little bit further, until it all inevitably comes to an end. (a castle in the sky = an unreachable dream) This plan kind of fluctuates throughout volumes 1-3 as Adachi gives him a bunch of mixed signals, but it holds true most of the time.

Adachi's side

Now I'd like to highlight the way Adachi actually thinks about their relationship, because it serves as a great contrast to Kurosawa's assumptions about him.

Throughout the first three volumes we see him grapple with his newfound feelings for Kurosawa, but he (almost) never puts his gender at the forefront of his musings. The manga makes it very clear that it's his lack of romantic experience and low self esteem that make it hard for him to accept Kurosawa's affections, and not the fact that he's a man.

This second page here being his own little gay awakening, where he realizes that he is not, in fact, disgusted by intimacy with a man.

It's also worth mentioning that when he later introduces Kurosawa to his parents (ch 41), they are immediately welcoming of him, suggesting he grew up in a very tolerant environment.

And it's not like he's completely unaware of heteronormativity/homophobia either, especially after he does his research in vol 8, but he is slightly more defiant in responding to it.

(I love how he just buys that bag he probably doesn't need that's supposed to come with all the wedding magazines, just as this very tiny act of rebellion.)

So now that we can see how different Kurosawa's thought patterns are compared to Adachi's, the next question we should ask ourselves is: Why is he like that?

Heteronormativity in Kurosawa's life

(yes we're finally getting to the comphet part of the essay 😂)

First let's look at the environment he grew up in. There are not many scenes with his family, but from those that we do have, we can at least make some assumptions about how he must've been raised.

His mother is clearly the authority figure in his life, judging by how she's described as "strong" and how terrified he is at her merely setting down a teacup (while Adachi has a more mild reaction). Her reaction to the news of them dating and Kurosawa expecting his parents to go as far as disowning him for it would suggest that she might just be generally homophobic.

But when they actually go meet her we see this slightly more nuanced perspective.

She's not entirely against it, but she does believe they are making a mistake by choosing to be together, hence why she thinks they might "regret it". There's many hardships that gay couples in Japan face, some of which we even see discussed in the manga, so it's not hard to see why she would be concerned for her son. The way she talks about Kurosawa never causing any problems, but "changing" ever since he fell for Adachi further supports that conformity is what she believes will ultimately lead to a successful, happy life. And that's also why she accepts Adachi later, when he's made it abundantly clear in his speech that they are happier in this non-conforming relationship than they were without it.

To contrast, her other child Mari is shown to have a very progressive stance (see: her pep talk in ch 47) and it would not surprise me if that is the reason she's rarely in japan and is never seen together with her family, save for the one time they're all at the wedding. She might find the conforming environment too restrictive and preferring to keep her distance. (shoutout to naina for this bit 🙏)

So that's Kurosawa's family situation. Now let's check how his social circle holds up.

From what we see of his friends, they never even seem to consider him possibly being with a man.

And his work environment seems rather toxic to say the least.

It clearly dictates traditional gender roles as the ideal. Nobody except Fujisaki even clocks any of Kurosawa's advances on Adachi as romantic in nature, even though he seems to be quite obvious about it (see: ch 34.5). And it's not like dating in general is discouraged at Toyokawa either, as we can see from all the women constantly vying for Kurosawa's attention.

From all this we can conclude that Kurosawa's upbringing and social/work environment is painfully heteronormative and until he falls for Adachi it seems he never questioned the status quo either.

The famous onsen scene, while funny, also reveals the sad truth that Kurosawa, in his 30 years of life, probably never even had the chance to explore his sexual orientation, rather focusing on being "perfect" in his straight relationships.

Speaking of those relationships...

He apparently had a bunch of girlfriends, who all seem to have dumped him pretty early on. His mother's surprise at him expressing a willingness to commit also makes me think he's never brought anyone home either. He also only seems to have a surface level understanding of what a proper relationship is supposed to entail, if his idea of an ideal date is just "what the average person" thinks is romantic. So why were all of his relationships so short-lived? Before I answer that...

Intermission: Kurosawa's smiles

It has come to my attention that this is not common knowledge, so let me explain: There's a way to tell apart Kurosawa's fake smiles from his real ones, without any context clues, just purely visually.

Real smiles: (ch 23, 24, 37)

Fake smiles: (ch 5, 13, 32)

The difference being very simple: Blush = real, no blush = fake 👍 And before anyone mentions it: No he doesn't just blush when he's around Adachi, that last fake smile is actually directed at him. (ch 32)

Edit from the future: This holds true like 90% of the time, but as Toyota's art style becomes more detailed, this doesn't apply as much in the newer volumes. I think there's also new details added that I haven't quite figured out yet so take this bit with a grain of salt. (The images below are still from her early art style though.)

So now that we have this additional knowledge, let's take a look at every instance Kurosawa is paired with a woman.

He's smiling in all of these. Not a single one has a real smile in it though.

I think he's never actually had his heart in any of his relationships, and the girls probably noticed it and that's why they dumped him.

And, of course, the first time he actually falls in love...

... just so happens to be with a man.

Even his friends comment on this, who have known him since high school.

It's almost funny how perfectly this aligns with real life gay people. Having numerous, short-lived relationships with people of the "wrong" gender is one of the more common traits of compulsive heteronormativity. (source: me oof) (but also shoutout to the "Am I a lesbian?" masterdoc, google it if you don't know, it's truly eye-opening)

After dating Adachi

So we have already established that he's far happier when he does finally get to date Adachi, but do any of his other thought patterns change?

Honestly it seems like he throws every single reservation about being seen as gay out the window.

He starts bragging like crazy about his new relationship to anyone willing (and unwilling) to listen, he has no qualms about PDA, he marks Adachi up and down so everyone knows he's taken and the only thing stopping him from proclaiming his love for Adachi to the whole world is the still very much existing societal homophobia. But he is a lot more easy-going about it now than he ever was before.

And I think the best way to describe this mental shift is, hear me out, the date song from volume 4...

... specifically the last 2 verses as a whole, and this section in particular:

"I won't let anyone divide our fraction! You couldn't pry this thrill from my hands when they're cold and dead!"

Horrible lyrics aside, this perfectly encapsulates how Kurosawa simply couldn't care less anymore now that he finally has what he's wanted for more than a year, maybe even his whole life. All the societal pressure pales in comparison to the sheer euphoria he feels at finally having someone that he loves and who loves him back just as strongly, feeling cared for and seen like no one else ever did.

And, you know, just happens to be a man. 🏳️‍🌈

[brainfilehasstoppedworking]

TAICHI??? MY LOVE???

TAICHI???? TAICHI FUJISAKI?! IS THAT YOU?!

[special-encounters]

MASTER!

The words of the program jolted Chihiro awake from a chair. The programmer had no idea how long the small nap had lasted.

You couldn't give me five more minutes? There were big robots and everything....

Fujisaki sighs as there was work to do on the oak desk. There always seemed to be work to do. The previous night was one filled with a terrible dream that Chihiro would rather not get into for fear of being laughed at.

Sorry Master, I was analyzing the dream you had. The one with that black and white bear?

It was more than a simple dream, it felt all so real but once Chihiro had Alter Ego scan the internet it put the mind of the programmer at ease.

What did you find?

The program lines up the report.

Well, it could be a premonition. Yet based on the data available it seems just like a bad dream. Junko is busy working on some project in a rural village i was able to extract from pinging his cellphone.

I think i'm just overreacting...

Then there was a knock on the door as Fujisaki comes up to answer it.

@despairs-memorial (Mondo) @dead-or-lie (Taka)

[drawbauchery]

I'm becoming addicted to coloring your pictures. Especially ones with kokichi... (elaboratejellyfish)

lowkey obsessed with how you do these..i get to see how my pictures would look with clean lines that actually connect, with smooth bright colors and?!?!? OBSESSED

[lurkingshan]

Helloooo, Shan! This is a bit out of left field but it’s something I’ve been wondering for a while. BL has developed more as a genre and shown itself to be increasingly sociopolitically aware (whether or not it effectively engages with that awareness beyond marketing is another thing), do you have thoughts on any sort of progression of how women and girls have been portrayed? Or observations on the general state of women and girls in BL? It seems to me their roles have become meatier, not just one-dimensional femme fatales or fujoshi. Or am I projecting a false narrative of genre evolution? 🤔

Hey Megan, thanks for sending! I love an out of left field ask. And I agree with you, I do think there has been a clear evolution in the way women characters are portrayed in BL, and I have been making note of it where I see it.

It used to be that female characters in BL were mostly just there to be antagonists, either as villainous femme fatales trying to break up the couple (like Plern Pleng in TWM) or fujoshis inserting themselves into the main couple's relationship in really inappropriate and fetishizing ways (like Pang in Love Sick). Even the precious few decent women characters from early BL (like Manow from UWMA) are still really only there as side characters who provide support to the boys and/or a bit of comic relief. Women in early BL were either problematic or kind of an afterthought in the narrative.

But more recently there have been BL dramas featuring women who are more fully fleshed out and actually a crucial part of the story. This is not linear and consistent, of course--there are BLs airing as we speak, like Knock Knock Boys and Blue Boys, that are still relying on women as primary antagonists--but there has been some growth. Here are some of the characters I find particularly notable in regards to the role they play in the narrative:

Ae Ri, The Eighth Sense

Ae Ri was a notable character because the narrative set us up to think she was going to be a typical femme fatale. She seemed to like Ji Hyun and we were naturally inclined to assume she would be an obstacle to him pursuing Jae Won, until the show completely turned that on its head and made her a knowing ally instead. It was a delightful surprise and she remained an important support and get a grip friend for Ji Hyun throughout the story.

Nara, La Pluie

Nara is another in the category of the subverted femme fatale trope, but this show took that much further by writing her with so much empathy and making her a fully fleshed out character with her own arc and even the start of a new romance by the end. It is still the best treatment of an ex-girlfriend character I have ever seen in a BL.

Fujisaki/Pai, Cherry Magic

Speaking of trope subversion, let's give a shoutout to these two corrective takes on the fujoshi archetype. Each version of this story did it a bit differently, but the common thread was that Fujisaki and Pai only wanted the best for their friends, and kept a firm line on how much to interfere in their relationship. Fujisaki is gentle and kind, offering small encouragements and nice gestures. Pai is much more of an enthusiastic fangirl so I was a bit weary at the start of her story, but the show used her fannish interests as an opportunity to model respectful fan behavior and I was quite pleased in the end.

Yiwa, Wedding Plan

And of course, I have to mention the current title holder for best female character in a BL, Wedding Plan's Yiwa. She is not only a great character in terms of having a fully formed personality, clear motivations, and a great set of relationships, she is also the engine that drives the entire narrative. I am still kinda amazed she exists.

This is separate but related to the recent increase in GL content and GL side couples in BLs, which is also getting steadily better. And I want both! I want solid GL dramas where the girls own the narrative, and I want BLs to write women better when they choose to include them in the story. I'm encouraged by the progress we've already seen.