#GIRL WE DID THAT??? YOURE THE FUCKING VICE PRESIDENT???

[discordiansamba]

zuko just gets adopted into the friend group like he's a stray cat at aang's request. this is zuko, guys! i met him at the hospital when i broke my leg that one time! and they're just like we know. we visited you at the hospital. you were in zuko's room more than you were in your own.

aang: do you think it would be exploiting my position as avatar if i asked the pokemon company to make me a lifesize plushie of mamoswine?

sokka: yes but you should do it anyways

sokka casually revealing in a random video one day that he's dating yue, the princess of the northern water tribe by having her appear in a video. this is my girlfriend yue. and this is her girlfriend suki. who is also my girlfriend. love wins.

zuko: i'm going camping with my friends this weekend.

azula: surely you mean you're staying with them in a cabin?

zuko: no? we're sleeping in tents.

azula: ...but there's bugs outside.

zuko: yeah???

azula attends a ritzy all girls school that covers all grade levels with mai and ty lee. she's a classic overachiever who is always a part of the student council and is angling to become student council president once she enters high school. it will look great on her resume.

aang is privately tutored on account of being the avatar.

zuko can't get a scholarship like his sister can, so he ends up in public school instead. it's his first time attending school at all- ozai used to hire private tutors to educate him. former rich kid learns to live the life of the common folk.

(ursa is saving the bulk of the money she got from ozai's life insurance policy for their college education and emergency expenses.)

(ozai ran a highly successful company before his untimely and 100% natural death, but it was passed to his vice-president zhao after. he promptly ran it into the fucking ground.)

ursa waits about a year after ozai's death to rekindle things with ikem, who she had to break things off with after her parents made her marry ozai instead. she becomes the main actress at his theater company.

zuko loves it. azula just rolls her eyes and says live theater is so outdated in the modern era. zuko works part time at ikem's theater and his uncle's tea shop.

sokka: today we're exploring an abandoned building! toph, you're on cop lookout.

toph: sweet.

sokka, an hour later: SO. what did we learn today?

aang: always check to make sure the abandoned building hasn't been turned into a den of spirits first?

sokka: exactly, kuzon. exactly.

modern au aang in which he is up to date on all the Latest Memes(tm) vs modern au zuko who is extremely offline and has no idea what he's talking about.

(modern au iroh who knows more about what the kids are into than his nephew does, who simply lives in a constant state of ??????????)

[anotherpapercut]

I love how every election season establishment dems just like scream "VOTE" over and over again without ever presenting a plan for how they'll actually fix anything once we've voted for them or even bothering to do anything at all ever to protect voting rights???? like saying "vote" isn't super helpful when people are not being ALLOWED to vote

[violentdelightsandviolentends]

a whiskey with jax teller pleaseeee just him being a little shit during a hot sex bc hes jax ofc theres so little writing about him and yours is fuckin phenomenal <33

Relentless.

warnings - smut. cursing. jax and his filthy mouth.

you're so lovely - thank you!! this man's middle name is mischief. I just know he'd be a fuckin menace in bed.

3k celebration post here. 3k masterlist here.

"Shhh darlin'. You don't want them to hear, do you?"

You wish he'd thought about that before he'd linked his fingers with yours and led you through the clubhouse, whispering something about having to have you now.

"This was- fuck- your idea, Jax," you pant, gripping the sheets beneath you.

He's got you practically folded in half, his body cloaking yours, weight pressing you down. He keeps tilting your chin up to look at him, slapping your cheek gently when you close your eyes. He wants to be your sole focus.

Little does he know, he always is.

"Oh, come on. Like you didn't want it as bad as I did."

He has this tone, when he's fucking you. It's low and it's menacing and it's rough around the edges. It's lethal.

He punctuates his words with a particularly deep thrust of his hips, a surprised moan leaving your lips before you can stop it.

"You wanna get us caught? Huh?"

He thinks he feels you tighten around him, so he tests his theory.

"Or maybe that is what you want. I see the way you look at Chibs, honey. Do you want him to hear? Come and see what all the noise is about? Join in, maybe?"

You clench down, back arching at his dirty stream of thoughts. He chuckles, getting the exact reaction he wanted.

"Filthy fuckin' girl. You want your president and your vice president to fuck you together? At the same time? Talk about club bonding, huh?"

Jax grips your chin in between his fingers, forcing you to look at him. His hips never cease their relentless rhythm, stars floating in your vision. You open your mouth, and he spits right into it, winking when you swallow.

His other hand moves to your throat, gripping lightly. The man knows how to play you like an instrument.

"Come on, baby. I wanna hear them, all the dirty little fantasies in that pretty little head of yours. Or maybe it's not Chibs? Who is it then, hmm? Juice? Happy?"

You choke out a whine, and he laughs, dark and mischievous.

"Fuck, you're squeezin' me so tight. It's one of them, isn't it? Which one, honey?"

You shake your head, tears forming at your lash line.

"Oh, I know. How about all of them? All four of us, passing you around, taking turns. How's that sound? Is that what you want, dirty girl?"

The thought sends you right over the edge, gasping for air as the heat licks up your spine. Your end is Jax's too, the low groan he releases vibrating both of your bones. He collapses on top of you, the two of you panting.

"You're relentless," you laugh, catching your breath.

"It's one of the reasons you love me so much," he chuckles, kissing you softly. "That, and the fact I have hot brothers."

"You're right about one of those things," you tease, squealing when he pinches your sides.

A knock on the door startles you both.

"Jackie boy, we have some business we need to attend to. That is, if you're not... preoccupied."

The familiar Scottish accent sends heat rushing to your skin. Jax notices.

"Be there in a minute, VP!"

You hear Chibs' footsteps as he leaves, breathing a sigh of relief.

"So it was Chibs, huh?"

"Like I said," you chide jokingly, smacking him on the shoulder. "Fucking relentless."

[wish-i-were-heather]

of course trump fucking won. this entire country is fucked and always has been. i went to his instagram to see if him or harris have posted anything and im absolutely fucking disgusted. ive never seen anything more hypocritically racist, sexist, homophobic, and literally discriminating against everything besides white heteronormative christians. but unfortunately there are just as many disgusting people in the world who see themselves in him and are going to vote for him. and they did vote for him. look where that got us. and of course he won because those people voted for him, those people who want to take away human rights. why would a woman win in a country that's sexist?? why would someone of color win in a country that's racist?? and why especially would a black woman who actually cares about people win in a country full of racist, sexist assholes?? ive literally never felt more hopeless than right now. we survived the last times he was president, but his plans for this time are far worse.

if you voted for trump, you voted for a man who only cares about himself. he doesnt give two shits about anyone, republican or not. you elected a homophobe into office. oh, great, you're also homophobic? then think about this. you elected a racist into office. you elected an ableist into office. YOU ELECTED A RAPIST INTO OFFICE. if you dont see the problem with that, there is something seriously wrong with you. if you voted for trump, there is something seriously wrong with you. as a teenage girl who is going to graduate before the next election, youre giving me this absolutely disguisting horrible piece of shit that dares to call himself a human being to deal with. i am genuinly preparing myself to leave the country after i graduate. it was a joke at first, but its nowhere near funny now. if i could leave right now, at this exact moment, i would. i am actually crying right now because i know that there are other people, people who are my friends, who are far more affected by this than i am. you had your vote, and you chose use it to ruin the lives of everyone.

if you voted for trump, have fun telling your daughter, your sister, your girlfriend, your best friend, your niece, your cousin, your mother, everyone, that you voted to take away their bodily freedoms. have fun at the hospital as your ten year old daughter gives birth to her rapist's baby, potentially dying doing so, because you voted away her abortion rights. have fun receiving a text from your nephew telling you that he is hiding from an active shooter because you voted for a vice president who stands behind glass while preaching that school shootings are "a fact of life." have fun watching your best friend, who you didn't even know was transgender because no, you can't "always tell," get fired because you voted away their job security. have fun watching the world around you fall apart because you voted for a dictator, not a president.

send me more hate anon i dont give a fuck. words cannot express how upset i am right now. with everyone. if you voted for a third party or even didn't vote at all, you're just as much at fault. any vote not for harris was a vote for trump. and now trump has the votes. now trump is the president.

if you voted for trump, i would just like to say thank you. from the bottom of my heart, thank you for ruining my life.

[hotvintagepoll]

Propaganda

Myrna Loy (The Thin Man, Manhattan Melodrama, Mr Blandings Builds his Dream House)—Started out a slinky silent screen vamp. Became a screwball lead who had a blast drinking, being married to William Powell, solving mysteries, and taking her dog everywhere in the Thin Man Movies. Broke our hearts in The Best Years of Our Lives and played a string of dream wives. Remained hot the entire time. Decades of hotness.

Gracie Allen (A Damsel in Distress, Honolulu)— The funniest woman who ever lived, she was the brains behind an absolutely brilliant radio show that she did with her husband George Burns. The radio show was later turned into a television show (which you can find on Youtube) but during the radio days, it was announced that Gracie would be running for President of the United States for the year of 1940. She was running for the Surprise Party, and refused a Vice President as, according to her, there would be no room for vice in her white house. Her slogan was "Down with common sense -Vote for Gracie Allen." [more about this beneath the cut]

This is round 1 of the tournament. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. Please reblog with further support of your beloved hot sexy vintage woman.

[additional propaganda submitted under the cut.]

Myrna Loy:

Myrna Loy excelled at playing coy women, so common in screwball comedies in the 40s. She batted her lashes, and shrugged with grace, and made her costars look like foolish heels next to her. She charmed with sneaky elegance, well-placed pouting, and repartee. Besides, she was sultry AF.

While Myrna certainly looked hot in some her earlier vampy exotic bad girl roles, I think shes hottest when her comedic chops got to be displayed. Her dry wit, comedic timing, and subtle facial expressions make her the queen of deadpan snark.

She's just very Mother

So beautiful and popular she was crowned Queen of the Movies in 1936, Myrna Loy was also an amazing actress. She's best remembered for The Thin Man and sequels, where she gets to show off her comedy skills, adding irresistible impish charm to her classic beauty and dancer's figure.

THE SASS

One of the few actresses who managed to successfully transition from silent to talkies, never won an Oscar but was at one time the highest paid woman in Hollywood. Advocated for better roles and pay for Black actors in the 1930s, so passionately anti-Nazi in the 40s she made Hitler's blacklist, spoke out against Joseph McCarthy during the Red Scare, and advocated for fair housing in the 1950s and 1960s, all while being hot as fuck opposite William Powell, Clark Gable, Cary Grant, Spencer Tracy and a whole galaxy of the Hot Vintage Men Poll all-stars.

Cute as a button with so much RIZZ! She and whatsisname in The Thin Man are relationship goals.

She was literally called the Queen of Hollywood! She is so sassy and funny in the whole Thin Man series. Absolutely hot in those, and who doesn’t love a woman who can laugh? She had the sultriest gaze and that style! Also before she was a star she sat as the model for an iconic statue for a school (representing “Fountain of Education”).

the glamour!! the banter!! the comedy!!

She's got this cute kinda scrunched up face AND shes funny AND shes got a bangin body.

Gracie Allen:

Continued from previous propaganda: "We don't want to get rid of men entirely," Allen said, according to a story in the April 22, 1940, Indianapolis Star. "All we want to do is make them unconstitutional and keep them out of circulation, but have them handy when there's no place else to go."

On the Neutrality Bill pending in Congress: "If we owe it, let's pay it." On recognizing Russia: "I don't know. I meet so many people." On which political party she was affiliated with: "I may take a drink now and then, but I never get affiliated.""

She did have to drop out eventually, with World War 2 being on and all, but thousands of people still wrote her in anyway, even if the FDR won the popular vote in the end.  (https://www.jsonline.com/story/life/green-sheet/2016/03/31/that-time-a-comedian-won-the-wisconsin-presidential-primary/84944806/)

[vanishingstarrs]

hello! it me again :> sorry to bother you

I read your one shot "Try again" feat. Katsuki x reader. in it, you wrote that you'd love to write for Denki as well. did you or do you happen to know if anyone wrote a Denki x reader story / one shot or drabble where he charges everyone's gadget (phones, laptops, etc.) but readers? and he confronts them when they explain they just don't want to exploit him (like the others)? if not, how your take would be? thank you!

( hellooo ☞ ☜ this is so late omg i’m v sorry but this has been in my drafts forever and i finally finished it the other day !! i’ve never come across this fic, but i’m sure some variation of it must already exist, here is my vers. though !! pls enjoy <33 )

electric touch

You were walking down the hallway, frowning to yourself as your phone announced once again that it was low on battery. You fumbled with your cord, trying to get the damn thing to cooperate with your portable charger, which unfortunately seemed to be also lacking any of its power.

It looked like you would have to sit at the very back of class in order to plug in your phone.

Just as you began to look around your book bag for any signs of your wall plug in, you saw a group of your classmates gathering around the lockers.

You hesitated, wondering why everyone was making so much commotion.

You walked up to Jiro and nudged her side in order to get her attention,“Hey, babe, what’s going on over here?”

She chuckled,“Just Kaminari being his usual gullible self. Did you know there was a power outage last night? No one’s phone is charged, and Mineta convinced him to see how many phones he can get to a hundred before he runs out of juice and starts acting fucking stupid.”

The longer she talked, the deeper your frown became. You walked around your friend, poking your head into the classroom and spotting your class vice president and one of your best friends.

“Momochan!” You approached her desk,“Haven’t you heard what’s going on outside? Don’t you think we should stop it before he gets hurt?”

“Kaminari knows his limits.” Iida, the class president, came over as he overheard everything going on,“He’s also been warned about doing things like this before class, if he does, indeed, get hurt then he’ll be missing class in order to go to Recovery Girl and that’s solely on him.”

You huffed, turning helplessly to Aizawa for help,“Sensei—”

“Don’t involve me.” The tired man sighed.

You threw your arms up in exasperation,“Whatever!”

You took your book bag and tossed it on the desk at the very back of the class, going as far as to move the table a bit more to reach the wall plug in before going back to your previous task and looking for your charger, only to come up blank. You’d probably left it in your dorm room. Fuck. Okay, this was fine. You didn’t need your phone, and you could definitely survive without it. At least until lunch when you could go back to the dorms to grab your charger. You would just focus on work until then.

It wasn’t really too low anyway, you decided as you moved it to the edge of your desk. You wouldn’t use it unless it was emergent.

Aizawa deemed the period to be catch up time, and since you were already caught up with all your work, you decided to get ahead on future assignments. You had a project coming up in Mic’s class that he’d mentioned last week, he’d given everyone the work packets early just in case the class had procrastinators like him (his words). You worked silently, ignoring your classmates titters and giggles as they avoided working.

Your eyes couldn’t help wander over to Kaminari’s empty seat throughout the period, and even during your next few classes.

Once lunch rolled around, you motioned your friends to go on without you before turning in the other direction and heading for the infirmary. You walked in, eyes searching for Recovery Girl, but she seemed to be out.

“Hm…”

You walked further into the room, eyeing the curtain pulled in front one of the beds,“Kaminari? You in here?”

A body sitting upright immediately startled you, as a voice called out,“L/N?!”

You went around the curtain, raising your hand for a wave like an idiot and giving him a smile,“How are you feeling?”

Kaminari groaned as he sat up further,“Well, I’m not dumb anymore, I mean I am, but not in the sense that… you know what I mean. Anyway, I was just waiting on Recovery Girl to come back and dismiss me, think someone got hurt over in 2B.” He kind of went off on a tangent,“Man, I’m starving.”

You opened your bag and pulled out a clementine, going straight to peeling it,"Here."

"Thanks." His eyes lit up as he took the pieces you were handing him,"So... what brings you here?"

“Just wanted to check on you…” You shrugged when your phone dinged.

kyoka ♪ ( / ⌒0⌒＼) ツ: girl where did u go ??

y/n ʕ•́ᴥ•̀ʔっ: felt bad, came 2 infirmary to check on kaminari, start w out me !!

“Hey, your phone is—”

“It’s fine.” You chuckled as you put it away,“I won’t need it too bad, plus I already borrowed a wall port from Jiro, I’ll just sit in the back in math and get it some juice.”

“But I can—”

“Really, Kaminari, it’s fine.” You stood up, just as Recovery Girl came back,“I’ll see you in class, hopefully?”

“You don’t need to leave on my account, dear.” Recovery Girl took one look at him and nodded,“You two can head off. Nice of your girlfriend to come and check on you after the stunt you pulled this morning.”

“Oh she’s not—”

“I’m not—”

She gave a knowing look, stopping you both from saying anything else.

You chuckled awkwardly and the woman seemed to shoo you away as she began stripping the sheets on the cot Kaminari had just been on, he stood up as he was kicked out of bed and followed you into the hallway.

You offered him another orange slice.

“Walk to lunch together?” He asked with a grin.

“Okay.” You agreed,“Yeah, I mean, we’re both heading over there.”

“Right.” He nodded.

You walked in silence for a bit until he stopped all together and you turned to look at him, questioning,“You feeling okay?”

“You never ask me to charge your phone for you.”

"Right..." You weren't sure where this was headed.

"And you never laugh at me whenever my brain gets fried and I turn into an idiot... everyone else always makes fun of me and the fact that I don't really have a handle on my quirk yet, despite the year being more than halfway through."

You frowned,"That's not true, I think you've come a long way."

"There you go being nice to me again." He seemed almost exasperated… with himself? You couldn’t tell. “Why do you do that?"

"Because I'm nice?" You shrugged, unsure of what he meant exactly,"I don't know, do you want me to be mean to you, Kaminari? Because I couldn't do that. I never even ask you to charge my phone for me, it just feels like... I don't know, exploitation of your power?"

"But you've asked others to use their power to help you before, what about when you asked Sero to help tape your binder back together? Or when you had Jiro eavesdrop on Ectoplasm and Miss Midnight to know what you scored on the math test?" He brought up several points.

You felt yourself get flustered,"That's different, they're my friends so I felt comfortable asking them to do those things."

"Are we not friends?" He pouted.

"We are!" You tried to think of what to say.

"Then what's up? Why is it different when it comes to them?"

"Because I like you!" You finally revealed, you took a deep breath and turned away from him as you felt your embarrassment overpower any other emotion,"It's different because I have a crush on you, and I know you've never seen me that way, it's why you flirt with literally everyone except me, but it's okay because I would never hold that against you, and I'm rambling now, but the whole point of this, I think, is already lost, and I should get going, I'm sorry I made this whole thing super awkward, you don't have to say any—”

"I like you too."

"What?" Your eyes were wide now.

"I have a crush on you." He repeated with a laugh,"I never flirt with you because I could never stand to face your rejection, even as a joke, plus I never want to make you uncomfortable... I've liked you since the entrance exams when you beat me to one of those stupid robots, showing everyone just how strong you are."

"Oh." Was all you could say.

He grinned, cheeks looking a lot more full of color now than he had earlier that day when he landed himself a bed in the infirmary. You weren’t sure if it was because he felt better now or because he was slightly blushing.

“Oh. That's all you got to say?"

"Kind of...?” You were definitely blushing. “I don't know what to do now…”

The boy laughed, walking back over to you and taking your hand in his,"This okay to start?"

"Yeah." You agreed, readily.

Your hands must’ve been clammy, or his were, or it was some side effect from him having overused his quirk earlier, but you were sure his touch was electric.

"Good." He smiled,"Now give me your phone, there's no way I'm letting my crush walk around on five percent."

You hesitated.

"I won't go stupid again, promise, it's just one and that would be seriously embarrassing if it happened." He explained, and when you still didn't hand over the device to him, he groaned,"C'mon, please? How else am I supposed to sneakily enter my number in your phone?"

And you couldn’t say no to that.

[bitterkarella]

Midnight Pals: Tenebrous at 3

Matt Blairstone: i'm matt blairstone of tenebrous press Blairstone: publisher of such quality literature as split scream Blairstone: featuring bitter karella's The Ballad of Horse Girl Blairstone: available where ever fine books are sold King: sorry, what was that name again? King: i forgot Blairstone: it's bitter karella Blairstone: B-I-T-T...

Blairstone: a lot of people know us mostly as the publisher of Bitter Karella's the Ballad of Horse girl Blairstone: but in 3 years Tenebrous Press has published plenty of other fine horror literature Blairstone: like the anthology Your Body is Not Your Body, featuring Bitter Karella's The Divine Carcass Blairstone: and the Brave New Weird anthology, featuring Bitter Karella's Low Tide Jenny

Blairstone: i'm matt blairstone and this is my associate alex woodroe Blairstone: an authentic Romanian crone King: kind of young for a crone isn't she? Blairstone: oh it's state of mind Alex Woodroe: i cast the evil eye upon you, nenorocit

King: tell us more about tenebrous press Blairstone: well it's an indie press dedicated to all that's weird Woodroe: foolish youth hold your tongue! Woodroe: these occult secrets are not for the ears of ignorant outsiders! Woodroe: begone, outsider! your kind isn't welcome here!

King: look i'm just trying to get some service at this mysterious roadside inn at the edge of the dark woods King: and it's almost like you don't want my business Woodroe: in old country, we chase you with pitchfork mob for less than this!

King: fine maybe i'll just be on my way Woodroe: leave but be ye warned! Woodroe: stay off the moors! Woodroe: stray not from the road! Woodroe: don't go into the deep dark forest! Woodroe: and stay away from the mysterious castle! King: that's a lot to remember King: i'd better write this down

Blairstone: can you believe that we've been publishing fine horror such as Bitter KArella's The Ballad of Horse Girl for 3 years now? Blairstone: where does the time go? Alex Woodroe: only in america! Woodroe: what a country! Woodroe: in America, you find party Woodroe: in soviet Romania, party find you! Woodroe: [turning to camera] the fun fact is that pigs, like humans, can get sunburned

Blairstone: wow! 3 years! can you believe it? Woodroe: in romania, we mark occasion by sacrifice of the cockerel and eating of the turnip Woodroe: we thank president Dracula for our good fortune Woodroe: and vice president Frankenstein Woodroe: and speaker of the house wolfman Blairstone: i'm learning so much

Blairstone: of course in 3 years we've published other things Blairstone: like colin Hinkley's the black lord Blairstone: about an eldritch god in the woods menacing an innocent family Woodroe: in old country, is documentary filmed in real time as it happen

Blairstone: and Anthony Engebretson's lumberjack Blairstone: about a lumberjack who's a real fuck up Engebretson: he's also dealing with this evil imp Engebretson: but yeah also he's a fuck up Woodroe: in America, you jack lumber Woodroe: in old country, lumber jack you!

King: wow it sounds like you've got some real WEIRD literature there! Jeff Vandermeer: did someone say... WEIRDDDDDD?? Blairstone: That's right! there's so many weird and unusual books Blairstone: and its all happening right now... Woodroe: at tenebrous press!

In all seriousness, Tenebrous Press is doing incredible work on the indie horror scene and, if you haven't read their offerings, you owe it to yourself to take a gander over at https://tenebrouspress.com/. My very first story ever published was The Divine Carcass in Tenebrous' Your Body is Not Your Body, and I would not be where I am today had it not been for Tenebrous. Go see what weirdness they've got cooked up for their three year anniversary!

[jungle-angel]

The One With The Wrestling Contest (Frat!Rhett x Reader)

Summary: It's the height of mating season in the Delta Tau Epsilon house and the boys are holding a little contest in the basement to win the hands of their s.os

Warnings: Frat parties, wrestling contests in the basement references to smut 18+ only

Tagging: @floydsmuse @attapullman @sebsxphia

The basement was louder than a friggin concert stadium on a summer's eve, the bluetooth speakers blasting the music on high volume. The ding of a bell and the raucous shouts of a bunch of drunken frat boys and sorority sisters filled the basement which was already packed full of people from across the campus spectrum.

You were watching from the homemade bleachers on the other side of the room, you and several of your girlfriends from the Phi Gamma sorority and a few others, were all sitting close together each in a different colored toga that you had all made from shitty repurposed bedsheets, cheering on the boys who were down in "the pits".

"C'mon Kyle!"

"Beat the shit out of him Kyle!"

"Go for his balls Kyle!!"

Kyle Shanahan slipped in and football tackled the Alpha Beta rival by the waist, dragging him down into the inflatable pool full of strawberry scented k-y jelly.

The bell dinged again and everyone stood up, cheering and barking as Kyle victoriously threw his hands up, howling with all his long-haired, bearded glory. His girlfriend, Karen McCann, practically jumped from the bleachers and into his arms, riling up the crowd in the basement.

"Oh God I don't think I can do this," Kayce groaned.

"Ya'll know what happens to us if we don't right?" Rhett asked him.

Kayce's nostrils flared at the thought. Every Delta Tau in the past had to fight for their mating rights every year around this time, those slimy little Alpha Betas daring to encroach into their territory. Kayce looked up at the bleachers and saw Monica cheering everyone on. Under no circumstances would he allow Stan Winthorp to put his grubby, pervy hands all over Monica Long. Kayce could feel his eyes burning when he saw Stan making his way into the pits, ready for action and eyeing Monica who rolled her eyes.

"Over my dead fuckin body!" Kayce blurted out.

"Down homeboy!" Rhett ordered. "Look at me, look at me......are ya'll gonna allow Stan to get with your girl?"

"FUCK NO!"

"Are ya'll gonna allow him to get with her?"

"FUCK NO!" Kayce shouted furiously.

"Then ya'll get in there and show him who the top dog is!" Rhett told him. "Ya'll are a LEAN, MEAN FIGHTING MACHINE!!"

Kayce let out the most frightening war yell anyone had ever heard when the bell dinged again, signaling for him to get in the pits.

"Oh my God I don't think I can watch this," Monica laughed.

"Brace yourself Monnie, it's about to get crazier," you chuckled.

"In that case I'd better do a shot," said Cairo, Foster's boyfriend.

You handed Cairo the little nip of McGuillicuddy's mint flavored liqueur which he swigged back as though it were water. It was eight seconds.......eight painful seconds before Kayce leapt up off his feet, grabbed Stan and landed him in a triangle choke right on the ground. You, Monica and the others cheered from the bleachers as Kayce riled everyone up, the crowd chanting his name as Stan sulked off to clean himself up and lick his wounds.

"Holy shit!" Kayce gasped, wiping his face with a fresh towel. "That was fuckin great!"

"Alright Foster ya'll are up! Go get'em!" Rhett told him.

Oh man did Foster look pissed. It wasn't even a split second before he had the Alpha Beta prick on the ground, the very same one who had been pestering Cairo the week before at one of the bars. It had taken both Kayce and the vice president of the Sigma Sigma Kappa house to get Foster off him and drag the prick away.

Rhett eyed Smitty from across the room with a fury, his eyes burning like a pair of cobalt flames, nearly black with the intense desire to fight. The other frat leaders kept encouraging him, tapping him on the shoulder and hurling obscenities and insults at the Alpha Betas.

The bell dinged and it was time for him to go in. The bluetooth speaker started to play Eminem's "Till I Collapse", full blast as the two frat leaders entered the pits, staring each other down as they assumed the position.

Rhett nearly blacked out as the bell signaled for them to fight. It was a slippery mess as they tried to keep their feet balanced, holding onto each other as he fought to wrestle Smitty to the ground.

"Think you're too good huh Abbott?" Smitty sneered. "Just you wait until (y/n)'s in my bed and I can......."

A loud war yell fell from Rhett's mouth as he flipped Smitty right over onto his back, the slick of the k-y jelly splattering everywhere upon impact. Rhett rose, beating his chest with one hand in the ecstasy of his sudden victory.

You ran from the bleachers and threw yourself right into his arms, kissing him heatedly, neverminding that he was coated in strawberry scented lube. Smitty angrily slunked away into the corner with the rest of the Alpha Betas while you and Rhett basked in the afterglow of his triumph.

"Wanna meet me upstairs later?" Rhett asked wiggling his eyebrows a little. "Meet Caesar at the midnight orgy?"

"As long as your truck doesn't turn back into a pumpkin I'm down," you chuckled before kissing him again, much to the delight of the basement crowd.

[owl127]

Can youuuu…mayyybe…please write something containing a 🗡️ character and a jockstrap. Ugh something about jockstraps, mouth guards, and feminine girls doing masculine things is so hot🥵

read on Ao3

Reading @lexa-griffins talk about wanheda’s dagger got me inspired, so… *throws confetti in the air*

Lexa’s boots kicked dirty on her way to the bus stop.

“Lexa!” The cries behind her continued, along with the annoying click of cleats against asphalt. “Lexa, wait!”

Ignoring the girl running after her, Lexa climbed onto the bus without looking back. The driver looked her pursuer and rolled her eyes, signaling for the dirty athlete to hop into the campus bus.

“Thanks, Carla!” Lexa heard, and of course she would be friends with the bus drivers, because apparently, Clarke Griffin is very friendly with people. Girls in particular.

Lexa looked straight ahead as Clarke Griffin, captain of the soccer team, president of the debate club, LGBTQ+ alliance vice-president, and a fucking player sat next to her. Clarke swore at the mud tracks following her and lowered her socks with a long sigh.

“Lexa—” Clarke tried, but Lexa mmf-ed and turned her back to the alpha. “Okay, this is getting ridiculous.”

“You’re the one tracking mud on school property.”

“Brittany is like, nothing, she’s—”

“Have you slept with her?” Lexa turned to look into Clarke’s eyes, searching for honesty, trust, anything that would make the last three months she dedicated to this woman worth it. She found honesty, yes, but regretted it immediately.

“Not recently!” Clarke defended. “She likes to cheer in every game, and she keeps saying we’re seeing each other, but Lex, I haven’t been with her since before I met you!”

Lexa squinted her eyes, watching a bead of sweat forming on Clarke’s forehead.

“Okay, maybe once after we met, but we weren’t exclusive back then!”

The logic part of Lexa’s brain argued that Clarke had a point, and even Lexa had been on a fruitless date after she met Clarke. Had she thought about Clarke all the time? Totally. Did it in the end it help her see she was actually into the charming athlete? Yes, but irrelevant at the moment, since now the unreasonable part of Lexa’s brain kept replaying Brittany’s voice: “And that’s Clarke, number 10. She’s the captain. She’s also delicious.” A pink tongue over lipstick gloss had accompanied that statement, and a graphic image of that girl on her knees for Clarke had made Lexa escape the match as soon as she could.

Clarke had seen the iteration from the sidelines and had abandoned the bench in obvious pursuit.

“Are we exclusive?” Clarke asked when Lexa refrained from commenting. “I… I thought we were.” The girl swallowed, setting her face in the same hard angles as when she kicked a penalty. “I want us to be,” she said, extending a hand between them.

Lexa signed and took the offered hand in hers, feeling how warm it was, despite the fall leaves rushing past the bus window. She loved how warm Clarke’s hands were, a dichotomy to her always freezing extremities. Lexa mumbled something, and Clarke leaned closer, asking, “what was that?”

“Maybe I overreacted,” Lexa confessed, the almost empty bus a witness to the fact. “I hated seeing that girl talking about your dick like she owned it.”

Red crept into Clarke’s cheeks, making its way to her ears. “Well… she doesn’t,” Clarke said, one hand around Lexa’s waist. “You do,” she whispered, and Lexa’s face flushed with heat. “I want to be exclusive. If there’s any girl out there bragging about my dick, I want it to be you.”

“How romantic.”

“You’re into it,” Clarke argued, her bright eyes following Lexa’s scarf until it hid inside her jacket.

Logic once more piped up in Lexa’s mind that the girl had a point. The thong she had worn to celebrate Clarke’s game dampened with proof.

“You didn’t bring your phone or anything?” Lexa asked. “You just ran after me?”

“Of course. I couldn’t let you go looking pissed like that! And Octavia will pick up my shit.”

“So it’s not the first time you abandon your team celebration to pursue a girl?”

Panic flashed in Clarke’s eyes and Lexa felt merciful. “I guess from now on you’ll only be doing this for me.”

“Yeah.” Clarke kissed Lexa’s cheeks, sighing in relief. “My apartment is not far from here,” she said, the kiss lingering. “And I’m in desperate need of a shower.”

“Oh.” Lexa’s heart picked up, her cold hands warming up in her fingerless gloves. “If it’s out of desperation, we need to stop.”

“You’re so kind.”

With Octavia and the rest of the team still back at the football complex, there was no reservation for stripping as soon as they stumbled into Clarke’s apartment. The spare key with her neighbor was worth it (the assistant professor had looked the couple up and down and threw the key in their direction before closing the door and turning her TV colossally loud). Clarke’s shirt and cleats didn’t make it to the hallway, and Lexa’s pants puddled by the bathroom’s door. Lexa pulled the athletic shorts down and met the hard resistance of a jockstrap cup.

“Isn’t it uncomfortable?” she asked, drumming her fingers on top of the hard carbon fiber.

“Right now it’s pretty uncomfortable.” Clarke chuckled and kissed Lexa’s neck hard enough to bruise. “But that’s your fault.”

Lexa focused on Clarke’s high ponytail next, letting the blonde tresses free under the white light. “Yeah,” Lexa said, “it is.”

“Feeling possessive, huh?” Clarke nipped at the soft skin under Lexa’s chin while stepping out of her shorts, completely nude. Clarke moaned at the hands exploring her broad shoulders, digging into her trapezius, and scratching her deltoids. Lexa admired Clarke’s curves, but she salivated at her muscles.

A moan froze in a gasp as Lexa felt for Clarke’s erection, now free from the confines of jock straps and tight, athletic shorts. “Very possessive,” Lexa said, moving her hand in deliberate slowness, pushing eager hips back when Clarke tried to increase the pace. “You can be the leader of your team, but here” — a strong squeeze that made Clarke whine — “I’m captain.” The exhale on Lexa’s shoulder was nothing but a moan.

“Fuck,” Clarke said, her head surrendering to Lexa’s biceps as she mercifully started moving her hand.

Clarke smelled like sweat, and heat, and vetiver, and Lexa had it all for herself. She inhaled deeply, her brain creating a new pathway for that scent of love, need, and lust. Lexa prided herself on being an omega in full authority of her body and desires, but as Clarke groaned on her neck, Lexa surrendered to the primal need of control.

“Come for me, babe,” she said, softly albeit with a command, and poor Clarke followed like a trained puppy.

Lexa held her close as Clarke trembled, expending the last of her strength over Lexa’s olive skin. When Clarke’s knee threatened to buckle, Lexa guided the exhausted girl under the hot shower stream.

“I’m sorry.” Clarke mumbled as water covered her mouth. Lexa distracted herself with shampooing Clarke’s hair, and the fresh scent of mint and vetiver filled the fogging air.

“About what?”

Clarke turned to look Lexa in the eyes, all half-lidded and yawning. “I’m sorry for not being clear about being exclusive before. I was afraid.”

Lexa nuzzled the shampoo suds away from Clarke’s cheek. “Afraid?” she asked.

Clarke hugged her under the water, their wet bodies molding together. The water soothed Lexa’s skin, but Clarke remained her major source of warmth. “I was afraid you’d say no.”

“How could I not?” Lexa kissed her girlfriend — seemed safe to call her that way — until they were out of breath. “I hate sports, and you got me outside in a chilly morning just to watch you kicking some balls.”

“It’s one ball.”

“Whatever. Come here.”

Clarke obeyed, her hand sliding down beautiful curves to elicit a moan from Lexa. She responded in kind, hardening between them.

Octavia was pissed when she arrived home from their game and there was no hot water.

[bullet-clubs-bitch]

May i request a Matthew and Nicholas Jackson x reader fic? Possibly she is related to another wrestler and they are obsessed woth her and try to win her over?

The Final Show

Main Masterlist Matthew Jackson Masterlist. (Mentions of Smut) word count 4K

Matthew and Nicholas Jackson X Fem Reader (who is Sting's daughter)

Summary: With Sting’s last match coming up the Young Bucks resort to mind games to get the upper hand against Darby Allin and Sting. After going after Sting’s sons, The Young Bucks meet Y/n for the first time who is Sting’s daughter. The Bucks become obsessed with Y/n and end up fighting on who gets to go out with her. What happens when it becomes too much when Y/n is forced to pick between the two brothers? 

An: This took me a hot minute but I hope you like it. I kept switching points of views so I hope it’s not too confusing. I wanted to make this more detailed but it would be so long and I wanted to keep this as one part. Anyway hope you enjoy it! 

Revolution was quickly approaching and for some reason, Darby Allin and Sting still wouldn’t take us seriously. Although we didn’t want to do this we knew there was simply no other option. We had to get in their heads. As Sting was celebrating in the ring with his sons after becoming AEW tag team champions Nick and I attacked the men from behind. We beat all four men to a bloody pulp. Security tried to pry us off of Sting; but it was simply no use. As Nick and I made our escape through the crowd we got into an argument with a blond woman in the front row. She had blond curly hair and gorgeous green eyes I could get lost in. As beautiful as she was, she was acting like a total bitch. She yelled at us for attaching the men who now lied in a puddle of their own blood in the ring. Although our interaction was short I couldn't stop thinking about her. I asked security to find out more about this woman and I almost threw up in my mouth when I found out she was Sting’s daughter. 

“Remember that girl we saw in the front row?” I asked Nick as he was currently pacing around our office. “What about her? Are you going to try and sleep with her or something?” Nick asked me. “Yes and no. I was asking around and apparently, that’s Sting’s daughter!” “What? You saw her she’s gorgeous. No way in hell she’s his daughter!” I thought the same thing, she was gorgeous. Absolutely stunning, she looked nothing like Sting. “Apparently her name is Y/n. She will be at Sting’s final match. I was thinking what if we use her to get in Sting’s head?” I told my brother, hoping he would get my plan. “Are you sure you’re trying to use Y/n to get in Sting’s head or to get in your pants?” Truth be told, I was trying to play mind games with our opponents but sleeping with her would be a bonus point. 

As I was exiting the arena I surprisingly ran into Y/n. “Y/n! Wait up” I called to her. As she turned to see who called her it was almost like everything turned into slow motion. She spun so elegantly, her hair flowed gracefully. I was hypnotized by her beauty. My trance was broken when she called out “What the fuck do you want Jackson?!” Oh god, she was mad. “I just wanted to properly introduce myself, I think we started off on the wrong foot” The look on her face told me what I needed to know. She didn’t want to talk to me, especially after what I did. “Well as you know my name is Matthew Jackson and I am an executive vice president of all elite wrestling. I was wondering if uh…” I looked like an idiot standing here, I was rambling random nonsense making a complete fool out of myself. All Y/n did was stare at me like the big dumb idiot I am. Just then, as if the gods from above sent me a way to escape this awful interaction Saraya approached the two of us, dragging Y/n away from me. “There you are, I was looking everywhere for you. Let’s go already, I’m starving” Saraya said as she was practically dragging Y/n away from me. Just then she turned around giving me a nasty look saying “Stay away from her Jackson, she’s mine!” 

****

That night as I returned to my hotel room I still couldn't stop thinking about Y/n. As I showered all I could think of was having her pressed up against the shower wall. My mind was filled with dirty fantasies, they were so strong. I tossed and turned in my sleep, all I wanted was her lying there next to me. Not necessarily in a dirty way but I wanted to hold her in my arms as she slept. I didn’t understand the chokehold she had on me, I had known her for all of five minutes and now I sat picturing the two of us as a happy married couple with four children. She even invaded my dreams, she wouldn't get out of my head. 

***

“Good morning sunshine, I made you breakfast in bed!” I opened my eyes to be greeted by my gorgeous beautiful wife. “Baby, you shouldn't have. I’m the one that is supposed to be making you breakfast in bed, you are the pregnant one” I told her “Well, I just wanted to remind you of how much I love you Matthew!” “I love you too Y/n!” The two of us exchanged a sweet kiss before I felt a kick. “Did you feel that! He kicked” I told Y/n excitedly" “I know, little Darby sure is a kicker” “Darby?” “Yeah, we agreed to call him Darby. Don’t you remember? You said we could call him Darby to remember him after the accident?” “The accident?” “Yeah, when you and Nicholas attacked him and my father in the ring. You KILLED them? Remember? You Destroyed my family, my life. I know you apologized and I forgave you but the least you can do is name our son after him?” 

I shot out of my bed in a cold sweat. I was struggling to breathe, what the fuck kind of messed up dream was that? Like what the fuck? 

***

I was in the middle of a peaceful slumber when I was rudely awoken by my cell phone. I checked the time and then my phone. Why was my brother calling me this late? I was almost three in the morning for god's sake, this better be important. 

“Matt you need to calm down, it was just a dream” I was trying to comfort my brother after he told me the weird nightmare he just had. How would he react if I told him that I was also dreaming of Y/n. My dream however was not fucked up, it was peacefull, calming, perfect. 

Y/n stood in the middle of a beautiful flowerfield wearing a beautiful white gown. She danced around the field without a care in the world. The two of us were alone; it was the two of us against the world. 

Once I was able to calm Matt down enough I tried to go back to sleep but was unsuccessful. After twisting and turning I decided I would look online to try and find out more information about Y/n. I was able to find out that she was 30 years old, lived in California and worked as an artist. Her art gallery was surprisingly a half hour from my house so I assumed she lived close to me. The work she did was magnificent, not only did she paint the most beautiful pieces I’d ever seen but she also used other mediums such as sculpting, sketching, and she even had a very impressive digital art collection. Knowing that I would be sure to bring it up the next time I saw her. Maybe I could ask her to make me something? I was pretty confident my interaction with her would go better than the one with my brother. 

I knew this would be a bad idea. Today I would ‘stumble’ into Y/n’s art gallery and shoot my shot. I walked into Y/n’s gallery and it was even more beautiful than the pictures online. The inside smelt like vanilla and white sage, the walls were scattered with different forms of art media and sculptures. As I admired the work on the walls I heard a familiar voice ask “Hi there, do you need help with anything or are you just browsing?” As I turned to face her I saw the shocked expression on Y/n’s face. “Oh Hi Nick!” I could feel myself blush. “Hi Y/n, I didn’t know you worked here?” I tried to play dumb but I was scared she could see right through me. “Yeah, actually this is my gallery” She said with a smile on her face. “Really? I had no idea you were an artist” “Yeah, well..there a lot you don’t know about me” I could tell by the look in her eyes that the smile on her face was genuine. I felt as if I was dreaming, I might be delusional but was she flirting with me? “Oh really?” I asked “I’m surprised Sting never mentioned he had a daughter that was an artist. I didn’t even know he had a daughter. Your work is beautiful.” “Thank you! He probably didn’t mention it because he still thinks this is a phase and not a real job. He still sees me as the ‘starving artist’ who can’t afford rent when I’m making more than he is.” I listened carefully to every word Y/n said, I studied her features as she spoke. The more I thought about it the more I got why Sting never mentioned Y/n before. She was absolutely gorgeous, those freaks backstage would throw themselves at her. Just then I almost choked when Y/n said “I’m actually thinking of closing up early today. Do you want to grab a few drinks later?” I didn’t drink, but how was Y/n supposed to know that. “I’d love to but I don’t drink, '' I told her. “Oh- well I make a good mocktail?” Make a good mocktail? Was she going to make me a drink? Was I going to her house? “Sure! I’d love that” “Perfect, put in your number and I’ll send you my address” I nervously put my number in Y/n’s phone, reading the numbers over and over again to make sure I put in the right thing. Once Y/n sent me her address I noticed that she only lived a few houses down from me. “That’s crazy, I live a few houses down from you!” “Really?” “Yeah really!” “Small world. I’ll see you in a hour? I just have to close everything up” “I’ll see you then!” 

***

I felt like a nervous teenager that was going on his first date with his crush as I approached Y/n’s house. It still blew my mind that she lived only a few doors down this whole time. How did we never run into each other before? I decided I would walk to the large corner house I had grown to love. It was massive, the whole property gated off with a security guard at the driveway. 

(An: Here are some pics of the inside of the house!)

I always imagined what this house would look like on the inside and now here I was with the most gorgeous girl I had ever seen. As I walked into the house I felt like I had been transported back 50 years. The exterior of Y/n’s house was all modern but the inside looked like a 70s LA time capsule. My eyes were drawn to the massive conversation pit I could spot from the entrance. Everything was carpet, the decor was vintage but had many modern pieces that tied in beautifully. “Your house is gorgeous' ' I told Y/n “Thank you, I loved LA in the 70s. I wasn’t born but I have always been fascinated with the artichture from that era. When I saw this house on the market I knew I needed it but the outside was practically falling apart so I basically built another house around it to prevent these old walls from collapsing.” 

Y/n and I spent the whole evening talking and listening to old records. I was able to find out so much about her. How she moved out at 18 to Los Angeles with no support from her father. How she was no contact with her family for years as she tried to make it on her own in the big city. It looked like Y/n did quite well for herself. We talked for hours and I felt myself falling harder in love with her with every sentence she said. “Can I ask you something?” I asked Y/n as she put on a new record “Sure” “Do you hate me?” “Why would I hate you? I invited you over to my house?” “But I attacked your father and Darby?” “I’m over it. I was mad at first but I remembered he was kinda a jerk to me my whole life so. I was more mad you attacked my brothers. They were the only ones who actually cared about me. Tell your brother I’m sorry for yelling at him”  “So you don’t hate us?” “Nope” Well, that’s a sigh of relief. 

When I finally left Y/n’s I couldn't help the warm fuzzy feeling that washed over. God Matt was going to be so jealous. 

**

“What do you mean you went over to her house for drinks? You don’t even drink!!” I yelled at Nick. “She offered so I wasn’t going to be rude. And by the way, she makes a delicious mocktail.” I couldn't believe my own brother went behind my back when he knew I was the one who had a crush on Y/n. He said he didn’t even like her in that way. “I can’t believe you” “What? Is someone jealous?” “You know I am” “Well if it makes you feel better she said she isn’t mad at you and she wanted me to tell you she’s sorry for yelling at you the other day” Atleast Y/n wasn’t mad at me but I was still mad that she was all over my brother when she should be all over me. “I don’t care, I’m still mad at you” “It’s not my fault I stumbled into her gallery. It’s also not my fault she lives four houses down from me.” “WHAT?” “Yeah she lives on the corner. You know the house that always has security outside? That one” Okay, this wasn’t fair, he had the upper hand here. I didn’t fully believe him though. No way he ‘stumbled’ into her gallery. “You said you didn’t even like Y/n in that way!” “Maybe I changed my mind?” 

There was no way the both of us could have her. It could only be one of us. Nick and I decided we would have a little friendly competition to see who could win Y/n over. She would have to be the one to pick. 

***

“Okay, they are officially obsessed with you” Saraya told me as she pointed out yet another gift Matt had left me. “It’s a problem. They want me to pick between the two of them” I told Saraya. Saraya had been my best friend for years, we met when I designed a jacket for her when she first started out as a wrestler. I thought it was cute that Matt and Nick both had crushes on me but it got creepy fast when they wouldn't leave me alone. If I had to choose, I would choose Nick but if I did that I’m pretty sure Matt would jump off a bridge. “I don’t even know what to do Raya. They are actually driving me insane.” “Do you want me to say something?” “No, no I’ll talk to Nick. I actually like him but I don’t know if I want to go out with him with all of this going on.” “Well, Revolution is approaching soon. Maybe this whole thing will die down after that?” “Hopefully” 

****

I felt in my gut that what Matt and I were doing was causing more harm than good. We both wanted Y/n but what if after this she wanted none of us. I sat in my hotel room contemplating calling Y/n to try and apologize for everything but just as I was about to I heard a knock at my door. I went to open it and was shocked to see Y/n on the other end. “Can I come in?” she asked “Of course” I told her as I ushered her in the room. I could tell just by looking at her that something was wrong. “Look, I just wanted to apologize for everything that’s been going on recently. It’s gone too far and it needs to stop. We put you in a difficult position making you choose between us and I’m sorry. I’m sorry that Matt won’t stop bombarding you with gifts and calls. I’m sorry for putting you through all of this when you should be savouring these last moments with Sting in AEW.” I truly felt bad about everything. I thought about giving up and letting Matt have her but anyone with eyes could tell that Y/n wasn’t interested in Matt. 

“That’s actually what I came here to talk about. Look, Nick I do like you, I really do. Like a lot. The thing is Matt would go insane if he found out-” “He doesn’t need to know, it can be our little secret” “Nick, he would find out eventually. I don’t think it’s worth it. You two should stop obsessing over me and be focusing on your big match tomorrow. Whether you win or lose please do me a favor and make that match amazing. Even though I don’t have the best relationship with my father he deserves a big sendoff.” Y/n was right, this whole thing started with Sting and it was going to end with Sting. 

I noticed the tears start to form in Y/n’s eyes and I was quick to hold her close. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry Y/n.” “It’s not your fault” “Yes it is. I just really like you Y/n. I have never met anyone that makes me feel the things I feel when I’m around you. When I saw you for the first time I knew I needed to know more about you, I needed you in my life in any form. After that night at the gallery I couldn't stop thinking about you. I don’t care about what Matt will do, I don’t care how Darby and Sting will probably murder me once they find out. All I care about is spending time with you. This doesn’t have to be a romantic thing but I need you in my life Y/n. As crazy as it sounds I think I’m in love with you” Shit, did I just admit that I loved her. Great job Nick, you scared her off. 

“I think I love you too,” Y/n admitted. It was so quiet I almost missed it. “Really?” “Really”     

I was at a loss of words, I didn’t know what to say so I kissed her. It was a delicate kiss but it would end up leading to much more. I didn’t intend to make love to her that night but fate had other plans. I had never experienced something like this in my entire life. Sure I had sex before, I fucked many women but I never quite made love before. This was passionate, delicate, it was filled with so many different raw emotions I couldn't even explain it. We cried, we laughed, we did everything in between and I knew that I would do anything for that woman. I would fight for us, I would do anything and everything if it meant I could have the honor to make such beautiful love to her. It was like our bodies were made for eachother, I had found my other half. 

I felt safe, I felt at peace, this was my new home and I was grateful to be allowed inside. 

When I woke up the next morning I felt like I was still dreaming, that the universe was playing a cruel joke on me. But this wasn’t a dream, it was my new reality. The woman of my dreams lay next to me looking even more beautiful than she did the day I first met her. The sunlight shined on her sleeping body making her look like a goddess. Even though my body and mind was still filled with lust in the back of my mind I couldn't stop thinking about the things I would do to Sting tonight. I would end that man’s career. I would leave him lying in a puddle of his own blood, his lifeless body in the middle of the ring. Y/n would watch the whole thing, I would make sure of it. I wanted to break her heart, her soul just so at the end of the night I could make love to her and put it all back together. Sure Matt was the one that really loved her but I loved her in my own way. I loved the way she looked underneath me with tears in her eyes. I loved how she made me feel. The plan was always to use Y/n to get in Sting’s head right? That was our goal, fuck her and get in her head. Teach her that Sting is the bad guy, make her ours. 

It’s not my fault that Matt fell completely in love with her. I couldn't blame her, she truly was the most gorgeous woman I had ever met in my life. I just got to her first. I would have her brainwashed to serve me as her master. As much as I loved Y/n at the end of the day business is business. I hope she will forgive me for all of this. A part of me did truly feel bad but this was all Sting's fault. If he just took Matt and me seriously to begin with this would have never happened in the first place. I placed a delicate kiss on Y/n’s shoulder blade as I whispered in her ear “I’m sorry baby, I love you so much but I am going to kill Sting”

[usaigi]

Modern Blue Lions headcanons

Dimitri

Has difficulties with fine motor skills following the car accident that killed his family and Glenn. Has to use accommodating tools like specific silverware and a laptop to take notes in class. Kids used to be jealous that he got use a laptop in class but he just wanted to be normal

Regular member of his school GSA but everyone assume he's just a straight ally because look at him. Look at his hair. He's straight. His classmates don't discover he's actually bi until a week before graduation when they see him kiss Felix

Also a regular member of the BIPOC solidarity club. Dimitri, Dorothea, Ashe and Constance are the token white allies.

(mental health spiraling) "haha puberty/hormones :) No need to discuss these new symptoms with anyone, it's just normal teenager things" (it is not normal teenage things)

Annette

banned from home ec after starting a fire while making a salad... She's was trying to make homemade croutons...

girl ADHD :)

she got a B on a chem test one and cried about it for 2 days straight

"Maybe if I get all A and get this many awards and get this many scholarships, my dad will love me :)" (girl.. :( )

Frenemies with Lysithea. They're buddies until it's time for exams. Then it's war. There can only be one valedictorian. (death note's "I'll take a potato chip and eat it" songs plays in the background)

Olivia Rodrigo stan

Sylvain

Hasn't said "okay i'm sorry that I looked at Mrs Riley and lightly grazed her left tit" but has said that exact same thing

friend with a car. "yeah we can all fit into my Audi; Annette and Ashe are tiny, just squeeze in and pretend you like each other. We can stick Felix in the trunk" "I'll kill you."

He's in Lacross AND theatre. Ice hockey AND Ice dancing and figure skating. He can do both, he's bisexual

Has to pick between a major sport game and his theatre show. His dad wants him to follow his dream and do the game but Sylvain is getting ready to tell him "no dad i'm giving up your dream." He backs out. He goes to the game.

"You got a perfect score on the college entrance exams?" "Why is it hard?" (he studied so much)

Ingrid

"Gay people are real??? They don't just exist in San Francisco and on Glee???" /gen confusion. Not in a homophobic way, she's just raised in a conservative environment and instead of going on the internet, she hangs out with her horses (Just wait till she finds out about trans people)

When her family was going through a particularly hard financial time, her friends started packing extra lunch. They all know she doesn't accept handouts but Ingrid will never say no to leftovers.

So chronically offline. Who's Billie Eilish? What's Succession? What is Rizz?? They're making another Spider-Man movie!?

Dedue

Vice-president of the BIPOC solidarity club. The school gives them club money and he uses it to make food for the members.

"..." "Go on" "Down with... gringo?" *Claude, Petra, Felix, Cyril, Hapi, Constance, Dimitri, Ashe and Dorothea all clap*

Football/Basketball/Hockey couches keep trying to recruit him. He just wants to garden.

(Tw racism and ref to violence to poc men) "I don't want to antagonist white people. As a large brown man, I'm already perceived as a threat." "That's ok! Your safety comes first. I got this," Dorothea says as she throws eggs at someone's car with a confederate flag.

Mercedes

"I'm joining the war on liberation theology on the side of liberation theology."

"Mercedes! Can you explain your tardiness?" "Forgive me, professor, I was at morning mass." (She was. But she's late because she stop to smoke a blunt.)

In her most angelic, big sister voice, "fuck TradCaths 😊"

Somehow still failing her religious studies class

(tw cults and implied anti semitic conspiracy) Raised in a religious cult where her step dad was the leader until she and her mom escaped. Because of this, did not know Jewish people were real. "I knew they were people in the bible but all I knew was [redact]" (Don't worry, she knows better now that she's not in a literal cult)

Felix

"I fucking hate my dad" "why? Is it cause he didn't accept you being queer/trans?" "No, he was cool with that. He's just fucking annoying."

"Ingrid, what the hell, I'm literally trans. You know this. We've been friends since we were in diapers." "Oh. I forgot." "YOU FORGOT!?"

Wasian. (tw sui joke) @ Dimitri and Sylvain "stop joking about killing yourself--you're appropriating my culture, assholes."

Secret Olivia Rodrigo fan. He only listens to her music on youtube + incognito mode. Only Annette knows. Annette manages to get them concert tickets were they run into Lysithea.

Ashe

Spider-Man stan on main. Somehow he convinces Dedue to be his Ned Leeds to his Peter Parker for Halloween

He knows Ingrid would like the MCU if she watched it, but she's scared of needing to watch 10000 movies

*slaps Ashe's back* You can pack so much anxiety in this guy

Started school in the middle of the year because he's a foster kid. Rumors started spread about him being a harden criminal because he went to juvie. He keeps tries to correct them and say he's never been but Caspar keeps fueling the rumors

"Caspar! Stop telling people I went to juvie! That never happened!" "...You... lied to me? :(" "You made it up!" "Oooh. Right."

[viscountoflondon]

College Kavinsky 1.0

This story is based on 3 years post college admissions (So he’s a junior now). Peter and Lara Jean are not together; they broke up amicably (I am Covinksy stan but let a girl have a maladaptive daydream).

Reader is an afro latina curvy girl (Midsize or plus size the choice is yours) however as we have read multiple fan fiction and fictional books we all imagine ourselves as main character so feel free to do so 🥰

I’m sensitive about my shit but i hope you like it 

Warnings: curse words, slight vulgarity.

GIF credits below

“Where’s Y/N, where’d she go?” Peter asked, looking around for you he was hoping for an opportunity to talk to you, seeing your last interaction was a bit awkward. 

“Oh she left?” Ivy  (your roommate) 

“Why?” he asks taking a sip of his beer 

“Oh that's because Cameron (Ivy’s boyfriend) said it was invite only” Ivy answers 

Tonight the Fraternity was throwing a party, post new chapter  president, vice president, treasurer, secretary, and social chair as the previous seniors had graduated. 

Peter had been mentioned as the new Treasurer a promotion from social chair and Cameron his best friend was given the position as Secretary as the board recognized Cameron’s efforts in assisting his pledge brother and best friend in chapter activities. 

“CAM WHAT THE HELL?!” He asked giving Cameron an incredulous look 

“Sorry shit I didn’t even think about it.” he shrugged in response You had helped Ivy and the other girlfriends set up for the party post the event, and typically this party was the only by invite only party due to the fact that the new leaderships would be discussing exciting plans for the new year and only long term girlfriends and family would be invited back to the Frat house. But honestly the new chapter leadership always got to invite who they wanted. Anyway 2 hours had passed and there was no way you were making your way back to the house. 

Honestly you had no idea what she was talking about during your last interaction all Peter said was he liked your shoes and boy did Ivy scold you. Ivy knew Peter liked you; she didn’t want to tell you because it was like a secret between her, Cam, and Peter, however you were convinced she was a sucker for love looking at your recent interaction with rose colored glasses. 

~Flashback~

“Why didn’t you say something back?” 

“I did, I said thank you” “You were supposed to say oh thanks i like your watch your chain i don’t fucking know follow up with something!” you open your mouth to protest but she continues “What do guys like?” 

You shrug “Cars, sports, fishing” you shrug not understanding her question 

“So a guy complimenting your shoes would mean?” 

“He thinks they are cool” you feel the thud of the pillow hit your body “HEY!” 

“You are impossible! I am setting you up with one of the finest men on campus! And you fumble the damn play” 

You roll your eyes and huff looking up to the ceiling “I think you are looking into this too much” 

“I AM NOT!” she stresses

“Ivanna, why would Peter want me?” 

“WHY WOULDN’T HE LOOK AT YOU! YOU’RE HOT IN FACT” she moves closer “MANY GUYS HAVE ASKED ME ABOUT YOU ESPECIALLY WHEN WE GO OUT TOGETHER!” she grabs your shoulders, shaking you a bit hoping to shake some sort of sense in your brain. 

You hold a look of confusion “what?” you respond slightly above a whisper

“YES PEOPLE HAVE ASKED ME ABOUT YOU!” she takes in a deep breath to calm down realizing she was a bit too passionate “Guys have asked me if you have a boyfriend , can I hook them up, but I didn’t because they are fuck boys. Peter is not”

“So Peter asked you to hook us up?” “NO!” she responds quickly hoping she didn’t give away her scheme

Your brow quirks “okay so what makes you believe that he likes me?” “A girl knows things” “Uh-Huh” you smirk and walk away to grab the wine bottle. 

“So next time you see him”You interrupt “If there is a next time”

“Oh there will be trust me” You roll your eyes “you need to work that charm”

You squeal “Ow” you say in response to her pinching your side 

“And you need to work your charm, tu entiendes?” 

“SI! Damn!” 

“GREAT” she smiles

“So can we discuss the party now? How was it?” “Actually it was okay” She shrugs boring kinda because it was like a meeting with beer and food and games involved. 

“Oh” 

“Yea” she says snuggling into your side and focuses on the movie ahead. 

It has been almost 3 years since your last relationship. Things were said to you that made you question yourself, question the value you could add in a relationship etc, so it was hard that, the Peter Kavinsky, one of the most popular frat brothers on campus, liked you.  I mean you’ve seen the previous relationships/situationships/hookup girls they looked nothing like you so much so when Ivy hinted at him liking you made you think she was the most delusional person on this planet called earth. 

She was right, there was a next time, this time it was the homecoming party and as we know each frat house would partner up and try to outdo not only the previous year but make it a party that no one ever stopped talking about. 

“You have to come to the party!” Ivy insists 

“Ivy, it’s gonna be a lot of people” “SO!?” 

“Sooo, .......ugh......... I will come” you finally give in after she begged you for 2 days to go after your initial ‘no’

“YAY! Lets go shopping!” 

“Okay!”

In true homecoming fashion you both had to adorn Stanfords alma mater colors. You both decide on an outfit that suits you best. Your body is buzzing with anxiety as you both get ready. Last minute runs to get nails, eyebrows done, running to the liquor store to get pregame (A/N: drink responsibly), running to grocery store to get last minute late night snacks(Ice cream, chips, fruit, cookies). 

“Ready?!” Ivy asks you taking the last sip of her chaser “As I will ever be!” you respond 

She smiles and links arms together as you both walk out to meet your uber driver (A/N:  don’t drink and drive) 

As you pull up to the house the line extends way beyond what you initially thought. 

“OMG! Ivy” you look at the line feeling very overwhelmed and intimidated how were all these people going to fit in that house? How many kegs did they even buy to be sufficient for all these people? Isn’t there like a fire code or something? When the lines were small the house was packed you can’t even imagine all of them fitting.

“I know how it looks but trust me it’s gonna be fun!” she beams at you “Let me text Cameron” 

In a few minutes he appears from the front “HI BABY!” she jumps in his arms “Look who I convinced to come” they both look at you

“Y/N! Glad you made it” he says giving you a side hug

“Yea, thanks for the invite.” you smile still feeling like this was a bad idea. To be fair you never attended any of the homecoming parties or activities. Too many people, drunk people, pissed people, sad people, happy people, everyone everywhere it just wasn’t your thing, 

“Come on!” he says, ushering you two in you hear some groans and curse words as you two were allowed in. Inside the house you can breathe a little. It wasn't even full yet a few extra bodies were floating around, certainly not what you imagined. You hear the president give an order to move one Keg out to the backyard. Another voice is heard confirming all rooms are locked and secure. 

“Alright last meeting!”  You hear as you feel Ivy pull you back  “We know the mission?” Mark the president comments 

They respond “EPIC PARTY, EPIC FRAT HOUSE! TOP FRATERNITY OF STANFORD!” They cheer “LETS GOOO!!!” you look around and see Peter joining the cheering

“AND PLEASE NO GIRLS IN THE ROOMS I DON’T CARE HOW MUCH YOUR DICKS GET HARD SEND THEM HOME!” Sean the Vice President adds in making them all laugh 

“Here we go '' Ivy whispers to you as they open the door, in a moment the room quickly gets filled up the music is so loud the base in the speakers is vibrating through you. You watch as people grab cups, grab bottles of beer, grab the premade jello shots and make their way to the dance floor as you nurse your liquor punch? That's what they called it anyway. 

After a while your body loosens up you start to care less about the surroundings and you start moving to the music. Ivy had left your side and returned and left again so much so that you didn’t care anymore you were having your own mini party in the very distant corner of the living room which didn’t have any couches? How come you just realized? Actually all the seating was missing. 

You tip your head back to get the last drop in your cup and frown you move from your corner hoping to find no one occupying it and make it to the kitchen 

“SPEAK OF THE DEVIL! Y/N!” 

You turn to look behind you and there stood Peter (of course you notice him first), Ivy, Cam, and a few of the other frat brothers. You wave before getting more of the liquor punch whatever they put in it was really working its way in your system. You walk over and greet them. "WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN HIDING?" Sean asks

“OH I HAVE I’VE BEEN AROUND!” “THIS IS OUR FIRST TIME SEEING YOU WE’VE SEEN IVY LIKE A BILLION TIMES” You roll your eyes “WE ARE NOT ATTACHED AT THE HIP” and you weren’t you didn’t need Ivy to babysit you, you had fun the introvert way you know observing people and their mannerisms, argument over there, dancing over here, conversation in that corner, oooh trip up the steps

You watch as Peter smirks and that makes you blush, you quickly look away “what are you drinking?” you ask Ivy

“Oh girl i don’t know” she takes a sip “beer?” she takes another “i think i mixed beer with punch” You make a face “ew”

“Gross right?” you nod “Too drunk to care” she throws it back. You laugh in response. When you turn back to the group Peter is gone and your heart drops a little but not enough to care. 

You walk away from the circle and make your way around the crowd. A few guys stop you trying to flirt but it's a wash, they were way too drunk much more than you and were now just saying anything ‘like your tits, let me suck your pussy’ you cringe as you think about it. You spot Peter not too far away dancing. Of course he is surrounded by mostly girls and of course the one who he seems to be chummy with is the girl that fits the aesthetics of his recent situationships. You roll your eyes, fuck Ivy for making you think this guy even liked you. You were better off having a secret crush than hoping he had any interest. The night goes on and your mood is semi sour, not too much more so slight irritation. Thank God for your corner because you need a wall to lean on, heels, no seats, and alcohol are not the best combo. You look down at your clock and see it is 1am time for you to head out, you know Ivy wouldn’t mind hell you haven’t even seen her or texted her in the past 2 hours. You shoot a text saying you were going to The Crispy Bun, a hole in the wall burger bar that not many people knew about. It had a very retro vibe with a modern spin. 

You push yourself off the wall, stand in line for way too long for the restroom and head towards the front. 

“Y/N!” you hear Ivy and God did you roll your eyes 

“YEA!” you fake a smile

“WHERE YOU GOING?” 

You notice Peter and Sean, and what seemed to be Peter’s interest for the night walking up

“OH I UMM WAS GONNA GO TO CRISPY” 

“OOOOH YESSS!”  She pinches your side 

You squeal again “OW WHAT THE FUCK IVANNA!” She squints and looks at you “YOU WERE GONNA GO WITHOUT ME??” 

“I TEXTED YOU!” You feel yourself getting angry 

She pulls out her phone “OH SHIT YOU DID, SORRY FRIEND!” She throws her arms around you

“WHAT’S CRISPY?” Sean asks

“YOU DON’T KNOW? THEY HAVE THE BEST BURGERS LETS GO!” she says rallying up the small group. 

God no,  this can’t be happening. You were happy to just walk and have a nice burger in your drunken state now you had to be there as Peter and this girl would be flirting right in front of you. 

The group leaves, all 6 of you. You do your best to lighten up your mood, joining Ivy in her singing and giggling. Eventually you guys stop and she links arms with you pulling you close

“This is the time to make your move” she whispers in your ear You scoff “Please not this again” “What?” she looks at you and then back at the guys

“Ivy, he brought a girl, what are you even?” 

She interrupts you “Olivia? That’s Sean’s girlfriend!” 

You blush “oh” “You thought that was some girl he liked?”

“It look...” She interrupted again “Well you are wrong”

“What you two whispering about over there?!” Cameron asks 

“NOTHING!” Ivy sings in response. Ivy goes back to singing, and this time you happily join in. Maybe she was right because why would Peter tag along. You finally make it to The Crispy Bun. 

“Hi, how many?” the host asks “Hi Hannah!”  you greet

“Y/N!, Omg i haven’t seen you in like forever” the older lady comments “I know class and all” She puts her hand on her chest  “I get it girl”

“We have 6” “Ooooo I won’t be able to sit you guys for like an hour. But if you want there’s many seats by the bar I think you guys can sit in pairs, but as people leave just ask the bartender to move you closer to each other. Does that work?” 

“Yes it’s perfect!” Ivy responds. “And I’m starrrvviingg” You give her look what the hell does she mean by that's perfect? Was she planning on sitting with you and ignoring Cam

You feel her grab your hand and place it on Peter's hand. If the sky opened up and swallowed you now you wouldn’t even be mad.

“Peter take care of her!” 

“Scouts honor” he responds in a calm manner 

“Okay great here are the menus there’s a pair in the middle and and then on each side of the bar, I think” 

“Dibs on middle!” Sean comments pulling Olivia along with him

Your heart races as Peter pulls you through the busy bar, unbeknownst to you he chose the area that seemed to be a bit more calm. He helps you sit on the stool. You thank him sheepishly as he sits on his.

“No problem, so what’s good to eat here Y/L/N?” Y/L/N you like that nickname “Oh umm there’s a lot actually!” you open up the menu so you can both look at it. Peter stands up and moves his stool closer. You blush but try to hide it behind your big  bouncy hollywood style curls. You were a sucker for big hair so of course you had to put in those large rollers in your hair. “They have like gourmet burgers and then the classics” 

“What do you get?” he asks You go to answer but are interrupted by the waitress “Hey guys what can I get you?” You two don’t say much, keeping the conversation light until the food comes out

“MMMM” He moans, throwing his head back. 

“It’s good right” 

“I can’t believe I didn’t know about this place, shit where have I been?” 

“Under a rock” you respond sarcastically. He chuckles in response 

It’s quiet for a while as you two eat, he then looks down at your shoes and smiles. 

“So why you giving me the cold shoulder Y/L/N” he asks looking at you dead on 

Your jaw drops as you watch him pick up one of your fries and plops it in his mouth 

“I have not!” 

“You were giving me the cold shoulder not too long ago” He adds picking up another fry 

“I was not” you blush

He smirks and takes one last bite of his burger “So what was it then?” 

You blush some more and say “I thought you were just complimenting my shoes and...” you pause to think 

He quirks his brow “And?” 

You respond in a soft tone almost whispering “I just didn’t think you... were... interested” 

He scoffs amused “Well I am!” he confirms as he eats another one of your fries

“Do you want my fries?” you ask “Yes they are soo good!” 

“You can eat my leftover burger full now” you offer pushing the plate towards him “Nice” Perfect reason to have boys around they finish your food 

After he finishes he finally speaks “So now that you know I am interested” You blush “Can we get this show on the road, tired of looking at you from afar” “Sure” you blush

“Come here” he pulls you closer and angles your swivel stool to face him while both his legs cage you in 

“What would you like to know about me Peter?’ you ask 

“Everything” You blush and look “I love your smile” “Man you’re laying it in thick” 

He chuckles, throwing his head back “Nah I just wanna know more, you know?” 

“You gotta ask so I know what to tell you?” “Any love interests?” “No? Maybe” 

“Last boyfriend?” “3 years ago?” “Why’d you break up?” “Long story short he cheated” “Favorite TV Show?” “Bob’s Burgers”

“Nice” 

“Siblings”

“None” “Only child wow” you blush pushing the hair behind your ear 

You two continue and eventually you loosen up and ask him the same if not similar questions 

“What?” you ask, focusing back on his eyes. You had done the Marilyn Monroe Triangle method ( A/N: look at youtube, tiktok, etc), not that you did it intentionally just something you would do from close proximity or from a distance. You liked the details of things you noticed. 

He smirked and pulled you even closer, hands caressing your outer things, your eyes widened a bit as he leaned in. “I said, if I asked you out what would you say?” “Oh!” you giggle “Yes duh” 

“You guys want anything else?” 

“Want dessert?” He asks you “Uh no I’m good” you say not wanting to look like a glutton 

“We are good” 

“Alright together or separate checks” 

“Together!”  he responds quickly reaching in his back pocket for his wallet

“Oh I was gonna..” you say reaching for your bag  

He stops you “Consider this our first unofficial first date and if you pull out your card I swear to god Y/L/N” 

You stop midway “Thanks Peter” you say sheepishly 

“Don’t mention it, so about that first date” “What are you two love birds talking about?” Olivia teases

He smiles at her “private things, what's up?” he asks straightening, up looking across to see that Cam, Ivy, and Sean were making their way towards you two

“Oooh private things” She throws her arm around Peter, and caresses his face and you realize the uncomfortable expression 

“You guys done?” “Yea we gotta go back bro, it's been 2 hours cleaning helping get home all that Frat house shit” 

“Oh shit I forgot” 

“Because you’re busy flirting your balls off!” Sean adds

“Fuck off” Sean “ready?” he asks you 

“Oh yea”  you say standing up

You guys walk in pairs now you two being in the middle 

“So about that official first date” he asks lowly not wanting anyone else to hear 

“Oh yea I would love to” you look up at him 

“Yes! I need your number” He said handing you his phone. He smiles down at you and throws his hands around your shoulders pulling you in. 

You guys reach the Frat house and he looks down at you. You look to your side and notice Olivia looking at you both you can’t read her expression, it was odd though “Text me when you get home safe” “Awww Peter” Olivia comes over and pinches his cheek. He rolls his eyes shrugging her off “what about me do you care if I make it home safe?” 

He gives her a deadpan look “of course i do liv” he responds sarcastically 

You smile and rub his arms “I’ll text you Peter” you say looking up at him he smiles and kisses your cheek.

[chryza]

Presidential debate SICK ASS REACTIONS.

“The microphones will only be turned on during their turn to speak” thank the lord they finally learned

“VP Harris you and President Trump (sic.) were elected four years ago” I hope to god that it was a slip and not an omen.

Harris coming right out and attacking project 2025 is pretty pog anyway I hope she kills him. I’m still skeptical about her in a lot of ways and I’m not a fan of the continuing imperialist military industrial complex ie genocide. but fuck me she’s not a raving lunatic or a decrepit dude with dementia so like. Fuck man I’ll take it.

he keeps saying “as she knows” to try and ruin her credibility which might be effective if he didn’t immediately then verbally veer off the road and crash into a tree

WHY DID THEY TURN HIS MICROPHONE ON. THEY SHOULD HAVE JUST LET HIM FUCKING TALK TO AN EMPTY STUDIO IT WOULD HAVE BEEN SO FUNNY.

I hope Kamala kills him. I’m obsessed with the way she keeps laughing at him. KILL HIM.

“She’s a marxist” this is the only time in my life I wish trump was right I fucking wish Kamala Harris was that cool.

[on abortion] “When the baby is born they will decide what to do with the baby and they will EXECUTE the baby” i don’t even have a quip to add the quote speaks for itself

Live Kamala Reaction your opponent just said Tim Walz wants to “Execute Babies”

The MODERATOR being like “there is no state where it’s legal to kill a baby after it’s born” is KILLING ME

Harris does sound legitimately incensed about abortion rights which is a massive W for her, I fully believe she would crack down on restrictions to women’s healthcare

Harris “I invite you to attend one of trump’s rallies and what you’ll hear is him talking about fictional characters like Hannibal Lector, how windmills cause cancer, and you’ll see people leaving early out of exhaustion and boredom” YES. BLOOD. BLOOD.

SHE KNEW EXACTLY WHAT SHE WAS DOING HE IS NOW SOOOO MAD SHE IMPLIED PEOPLE WERE BORED OF HIM AAAAAAHAHAHA I AM MAKING TRIXIE MATTEL SEAGULL NOISES RN

Shown: watching Trump take the bait hook line and sinker

My mom sent me memes so I knew about this beforehand but

“THEYRE EATING THE PETS OF THE PEOPLE OF OUR COUNTRY”

*further trixie bird noises*

[Harris] “This is why I have the endorsement of former Vice President Dick Cheney” that’s NOT A GOOD THINGGGGG I don’t know if it’s like trying to be bipartisan but girl this is NOT the way

I need them to stop turning on Trumps microphone. Just leave it off

I TOOK A BULLET TO THE HEAD BECAUSE OF THEM

KAMALA I SUPPORT FRACKING HARRIS EVERYONE

WHAT ARE WE EVEN TALKING ABOUT ANYMOREEEE THIS IS SUCH A SHITSHOW

“Strength as a leader is not about beating people down it’s about lifting people up” Bold words from a woman who is actively delighting in mocking her opponent, to be clear I think it is an objectively good thing, I simply think this is a hilarious thing to say ten minutes post Live Kamala Reaction

“NOW SHE WANTS TO DO TRANSGENDER OPERATIONS ON ILLEGAL ALIENS IN PRISON”

Most of what trump says is just bloviating nonsense but I am noticing that Kamala Harris is very good at making her words sound nice while not actually saying much of substance. This is not a specific indictment against her because it’s a very Politician thing, but she isn’t actually saying much here.

[moderator] So do you acknowledge now that you lost the 2020 election

[trump] No it was obviously sarcasm

[moderator] I did watch all of the videos where you said that and I didn’t detect the sarcasm.

Trump, on Biden: I’ll let you in on a little secret, [Biden] hates her *pointing to Harris*

Okay so Harris is a proponent of a two-state solution for Israel and Palestine and is opposed to civilian mass-murder. I don’t even know how to begin to touch that with a ten foot pole and the whole situation feels so confusing to me in general. Overall she seems Anti-Civilians-Being-Slaughtered in the name of self-defense but then in the same breath assures that Israel needs support to defend itself from Iran so. Wow sounds like a whole mess of colonization practices that have deliberately destabilized a region that can’t easily be nuanced in a single answer

[Trump] “If she becomes President Israel won’t exist within two years” God I wish Harris was half as cool as he makes her out to be.

“I WOULD GET [PUTIN AND ZELENSKY] ON THE PHONE AND GET THE WHOLE THING SETTLED.”

Kamala Harris PUTIN WOULD EAT TRUMP FOR LUNCH put that on a check and take it to the bank I love national television

I love Harris essentially dishing the hot goss on Trump negotiating with the Taliban. Is this the platform to do it? No. But this is practically kayfabe at this point anyway. Do I even care

What a shitshow. Harris has zero high horse here, she refused to answer basic questions about position in an attempt to remain bipartisan, Trump endlessly blathered about nonsense. Kamala Harris won the debate, but to be frank, trump could lose to a mildly literate dog.

[kindnessisweakness2]

4

Emily signed the paperwork and much to the disappointment of Jax that was the last time he had seen or heard from her in a week. He didn't know what it was but his head was full of her. She was a fucking pocket rocket for sure. She handled Noah, put that crow eater in line without using her fists and shot David Hale down quicker than Clay ever had the opportunity to. He couldn't stop thinking about her and Gemma could see it. Fuck, everyone could. But Noah? God Noah felt it full force. Jax had him busting his arse more than any other prospect, and everyone could guess at why. "When are you gonna stop messing with that kid and just go see her?" Clay questioned as he made his way into the empty clubhouse. Jax shrugged from his place at the bar. He was sipping a cold beer as he sat and watched Noah clean his bike on the security cameras. Yes it was the 4th time in two days he made him do it, but in Jax's eyes it was fair. "I dont know what you mean." Clay rolled his eyes as he poured himself a whiskey. "You got the hots for this girl. Gem told me. Just go see her and let the prospect sleep for god sakes. We have a shipment coming tomorrow, i need him in good shape." It was Jax's turn to roll his eyes at his step father. Never would have guessed Clay to take a prospects side. Standing from his seat at the bar, Jax nodded at Clay and made his way out to his bike. "Pack it up prospect, I've got somewhere I gotta go." Noah stood to his feet and awkwardly twisted the oil covered rag in his hands. "Can I talk to you quickly before you go?" Jax's eyebrow raised in question. Noah seemed to be wrestling with his thoughts, trying to work out how to phrase what he wanted to say without pissing his Vice President off. "Look, I don't want you anywhere near Emily. I know your track record with women Jax And I don't want her hurt." Noah clearly threw caution to the wind and tried to be as firm as possible with Prince of Charming. Noah couldn't deny that part of him hated that Jax could have whoever and whatever he wanted. Women looked at him like he was sex on legs. Perfection, with a physique that the Gods themselves carved. But Noah didn't see the appeal. In his eyes Jax was a dick, and it wasn't like he was the only blonde haired, blue eyed boy in charming. Jax's eyes widened in Suprise at the boldness of the prospect and laughter tumbled from his mouth. Noah felt his chest burn with both embarrassment and anger at the sound. "The last person I'm gonna listen to is you, grunt. Yeah she's hurt and your the one to blame. Hey, who knows? Maybe I'll pay her a visit, make her feel better. From what I hear it's not gonna be hard to fill your shoes." Winking at the prospect, Jax put on his helmet and sped out of the lot, leaving a disgruntled Noah scowling at the reaper that addorned his back.

30 minutes riding aimlessly around Charming did nothing to clear Jax's head and sure enough he ended up in the one place he was adamant he wouldn't go. Leaning against his bike across the road from Emily's home, Jax lit a cigarette and mentally wrestled with himself. He was never this nervous about a girl before. He was the prince, Girls fell at his feet all the time. But this girl? No this girl was different. Fuck. What was he doing? He knew minimal things about this girl, so why was she all up in his brain. Not even crow eaters could distract him from the purple haired pocket rocket. "Jax?" His head snapped up, the sound of her voice halting his pacing immediately. There she stood in joggers and a cropped vest, looking worried. Her hair was down, the long purple strands dangling over her shoulder and Jax's first thought was imagining running his fingers through it. Wondering if it was as soft as it looked. "Jax is something wrong?" Emily spoke again, the concern in her voice clear. Jax found himself frowning at her. "Yeah, there is actually. I havent seen you at the clubhouse." Emily scoffed at the nerve of the man infront of her. She had seen him from her kitchen window and the sight of him pacing, chainsmoking cigarettes made her worried. Now she felt stupid for caring. "Im not a fucking Crow eater Jax. I've heard how the club treats women, thats not me." Emily turned to walk away, but his gentle hand on her arm stopped her. "Thats not what i meant Darlin'. I meant...Fuck i like having you around okay?" Emily shook her head, completely dumbfounded. "Jax you met me twice. You dont know me. Look, if this is a way to piss Noah off, fucking his ex, im not here for it. Whatever he's done, leave me out of it." Jax rubbed his face frustrated. "This isnt about Noah Em. Infact I cant stand him. This is different. Is it so hard to believe that i may actually want to get to know you? That i enjoyed the time I spent talking to you at the clubhouse the other day?" Emily smiled softly at him. "I'm not different. Jax im boring. Your wasting your time here with me. You have multiple women who would give anything to spend a night with you. Dont be stupid. Go." Jax grinned at her as she gave him a gentle shove towards his bike. Throwing his arm over her shoulder instead, Jax guided her back towards her house.

"Well arent you lucky? Tonights your night Em, Im Yours. Let me be the judge of whether your boring." Emily couldnt help but laugh at the confidence on him. It was gonna be a long night.

[angelbabyjiminah]

I HATE THISSSSS

I loved newjeans!!!! I was rooting for you!!!! We were all rooting for you!!!!!!

But your ceo and creative director started to act like a greedy fuckin finance bro and TRIED TO USURP A COMPANY and GOT CAUGHT! like a fucking dumb stupid guy!!! And she’s supposed to be a smart capable artistic creative diva!!!! Her downfall was that she aligned herself with the wrong people aka loser men aka that vice president A from the leaked kakao texts (who got accused of sexual assault btw! and ceo lady looked the other way)!!!

And now ex-ceo mhj—because she did in fact get fired from her position as ceo—is making a whole lotta noise with the press and now the Korean National Assembly?? and now one of the newjeans members went in front of these politicians?

Whatever. I don’t wanna talk about it anymore.

I just am done.

mhj and the newjeans members are now just making a whole lotta ruckus so hybe will let newjeans out of their contract without making them pay $200 million in termination fees. so mhj can put them in a new contract under a new label she controls, even if she has a non-compete clause in her contract, she can still pull the strings behind the scenes.

I hope hybe never releases newjeans cuz that’ll be what’s best for them imo. It’s really really fucked up but these girls can scream and shout and struggle as much as they want but they should never be allowed anywhere near mhj ever again. they should be chained up to a radiator and given methadone cuz these girls’ brains were hardwired and that shit needs to be flushed out. mhj fed them poison frfr.

It might be impossible to make sure they have absolutely no contact but hybe should not let these girls go.

[saltygilmores]

THOUGHTS WHILE WATCHING GILMORE GIRLS: SEASON 3, EPISODE 2: HAUNTED LEG (PART 2)

Both Emily and Lorelai are planning to attend Rory's "Swearing In" for her Vice Presidency at Chilton So, this is a very similar scenario to the one that happened 4 episodes back in "Lorelai's Graduation Day". Yes ma'am, it's another "Lorelai is unhappy about having to be at a place where her mother will also be but Rory wants them both there" situation. Yeehaw.

Shhh. Nobody tell her.

This is such a great line, and I don't fancy myself much of a Quote Lover, but I love this one so much I want to make it a magnet and stick it on my fridge next to my "Why did you drop out of Yale" magnet.

Nothing of great consequence or interest happens at the ceremony. Rory and Paris give mediocre speeches. Things between Lor and Emily are still chilly. Emily wants to meet Lorelai for lunch at Luke’s the next day. I see Francie up on stage and remember, tis the season for an incredibly boring storyline involving mean-girl nonsense and school politics 🥱 Francie is the Jason of S3.

I plan to forward past a lot of that sillyness and save myself some time.

Rory tells Paris after the first student body meeting that she wasted everyone’s time and nothing was accomplished and nobody ate the doughnuts that were provided. Paris is incredibly turned on and asks Rory if she wants to get married.

Just more Jess erasure... Alright, alright! This was Sookie's directive (supposedly) and it was said in jest. And here I was about to cancel Lorelai again for banning Jess from her stupid inn filled with mice. I've canceled her more times than an unwanted subscription to Dean Forrester Monthly magazine.

Not me going "what is this stupid obscure reference that nobody will understand", then googling it only to find out it's from The Godfather, the award winning book and movie series that half the population alive has seen but not me. I don't watch movies, okay?

Yes Ma'am!

I hate this stupid bullshit. Blew past the entire scene.

That's more like it.

Luke: Kirk came to me for advice about whether or not he had a shot with you. I told him you liked movies and junk food and talking incessantly but we both agreed that there's nothing like some good lovin to shut someone up." So then you agree, the only thing that would get Lorelai to shut up is to fuck her? Take your own advice already, Sir, and do it already. You're killing us here. Lorelai: Can you bring me a sharper fork? I'm not sure this one will go through your hand. Ah, I see that like me, Lorelai is also a connoisseur of making jokes about injuring people with forks. We're not that different, you and I.

What the hell else is there to do for fun in Stars Hollow?

More Crusty nonsense. Followed by student council nonsense.

Well if that isn't the Non Privacy And Feelings Respecter Pot calling the Non Privacy And Feelings Respecter Kettle black.

At least Santa Claus visits his Children once a year, which is more than Christopher does.

Not me and @frazzledsoul discussing just yesterday how often answering machines were used as a plot device on tv in the 90's and early 00's. AmyShermanPalladino in particular is obsessed with the humble answering machine. Because social media didn't exist yet and the male characters must have some way to harrass the women when they're apart. At least It's only Kirk this time so he probably meant well. Probably. He's kinda a perv. Lorelai: i hate my life. Maybe if we look into each other's eyes and say "I wish I were you" we could pull a Freaky Friday. (Imagining I'm me, Salty, and NOT Rory, Freaky Friday'ing with Lorelai): Let's see, let's see switching lives with Lorelai: The whole "fucking Luke" thing is good But then I'd also have to fuck Dean And I'd have to fuck Crusty.. Max? (eh?) Alex? (sure) Have Emily as my mother... Working at a dumb Inn... Idk if having sex with Luke is worth all that. Rory: "If we switched bodies, I'd have to date Kirk." If you switched bodies, Lorelai would have to date Dean. I don't hear her complaining about that.

The real star of Gilmore Girls.

Oh no. Not the LOR.

*smashes that bottle of wine over Crusty's head*

45? FORTY FIVE? He tripled the record held by the previous contender. Dean better step his harrasment game up if he wants to surpass that number. Crusty: "You don't get to dictate what to do! I called you (45 times) and you didn't respond so I did what I had to do. You can't shut me out, that's wrong! Your'e keeping Rory from me! Why hasn't she called me back?" EXCUSE ME? EXCUSE MEEEE??

Oh my, the whiplash of seeing Rory stand up for herself and get into Crusty's face, only to have her head to Doose's in a few moments where Jess will give her the peg-lowering of a lifetime and she'll limp away defeated with her tail between her legs. I'll put that in my next chapter. Things Googled While Watching Gilmore Girls: Clemenza, I Take A Nap Gif, Now Kiss Gif, Spelling Of Connoisseur Cutting Room Floor A joke about how Jess won't be invited to any more Bracebridge Dinners since he's vegetarian and he's banned from the inn.