#GEGE GIVE ME MY MAN BACK Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[biboomerangboi]

My friend was watching the show for the first time and they brought up a misconception that I think we see a lot in fandom. So I want to talk about The Gamblers Den and specifically this scene in particular:

My friend genuinely wondered what Hua Cheng would do and then when they heard his explanation they were even more confused:

They basically messaged me saying, wait Hua Cheng would have made the bet. He bets people’s lives and some how Xie Lian is okay with that. How???

And to anyone else who’s thinking the same thing or falling for the Demon King vibe Hua Cheng is trying to sell here I am here to tell you, you have all been duped.

What’s import to understand is that Ghost City actually came from making one of Xie Lian’s ideas work:

Xie Lian is talking about a specialised market here, a place where the common people couldn’t just stumble into without reason and that’s what Ghost City is and The Gambers Den is the foundation of it. While Xie Lian didn’t say hey go gamble, Hua Cheng is taking a risk and playing into his greatest strength and then showing of for his crush is the most dramatic way possible when talking about it.

For Hua Cheng the house always wins! Literally. Or at least what he wants the bet to be will always happen. His luck is just that good. If the gambler wins it’s genuinely because Hua Cheng let him.

In the Den he is acting as Judge and Jury with Xie Lian as his moral code but he can’t just turn down the deals. If he does then these people could go to less safe options (looking at you Qi Rong) to get what they desire which negates the reason he built Ghost City in the first place.

Hua Cheng has to let these people play by his rules if he wants to follow his Gods wishes. So he has to be creative and look at loop holes, phrasing and Xie Lians most important teaching finding the third path.

For this moment specifically giving the options I think Hua Cheng would have taken the 20 years of his daughter’s life. Why you may ask? Well the phrasing is easier to manipulate. While the eradication of his competitors is pretty well laid 20 years of his daughters life is pretty vague.

Option 1) Hua Cheng could take her away from her shit father and put her in an apprenticeship and marry a man of her choosing since her hand is now her own to decide since Hua Cheng doesn’t want it.

Option 2) She has to work in Ghost City for 20 years and is married to Yin Yu in name only (because Hua Cheng can’t have a wife at all or he won’t win Gege) then gets pleasantly divorced and giving a severance payment after 20 years.

Option 3) He could decide life is a vague term and after she dies she has to spend 20 years in Ghost City and matchmake a future marriage between her and another ghost.

Option 4) He could decide what she has to do with the next twenty years of her life which could include an actual good marriage and education. Where she has to worship his shrine and be only his devotee for 20 years.

Option 5) He can literally say I’ll collect when I decide and never cash in.

He can do anything because the wording is so fluent and for Hua Cheng debater and Civil God Killer it’s probably easy. He’s not a demon king, he’s a crafty trickster spirit basically a fae lord.

He’s playing the system and he’s winning that’s what Xie Lian figured out and why he supports it. He knows Hua Cheng well enough even back then to trust that he would make the right decision because he believes in Hua Cheng and he’s right too.

[saccharinesatoru]

Caught in the Moment (Help, I'm Stuck!)

pairing: gojo satoru x reader (f)

genre: stepbrother!gojo + smut

word count: 6k

summary: When your Mom remarries, a certain white-haired, blue-eyed demon enters your life in the role of your new step brother. It doesn't matter how angelic he looks, he's nothing short of the devil. And while you've never been very close with your family, Gojo wants to be a whole lot closer to you than a step brother should be. But, hey, family comes first, right? Gojo sure thinks so.

warnings: stepcest (the people who like it, love it and the people who hate it wanna burn my house down for writing it), language, gojo's a brat, the stuck-in-washer bs from h*ntai, dubcon bordering on noncon?????? (open to interpretation, honestly), fingering & oral (f receiving), penetration (p in v), creampie, low key breeding kink, degradation with some hints of praise on the side like if you squint real hard, squirting, some anal (f receiving)

A/N: i will take no questions as to where I have been or why I was gone. i also write for some anime now too lmao. i miss satoru and I'm pissed at gege and I need an outlet bc these new manga chapters are giving me grey hairs. also, this is like 45% proofread max. oh, and thanks for 2k followers <3 ... i rarely come on here anymore, so I didn't notice until now.

xx Jay

You were never much of a family person. It’s not like your Mom made it very easy after divorcing your Dad and hopping from dick to dick like the floor was lava. New weekend? New date. Summer getaway? Fresh boytoy. Spring break? New guy to break her back- if her obnoxious moans were anything to go by. 

Overall, you were as much of a family person as your Mom was- noncommittal and unwilling to settle down. And you carried over that same distant, superficial behavior to any of your past romantic relationships… which always ended just about as quickly as your Mom’s did. Your closest friends liked to joke that poor taste in men and a lack of commitment to relationships were perhaps the only things you and your Mom shared in common. And you’d both been that way for as long as you could remember.

Which is why you heard a record scratch in your head when your Mom announced practically out of nowhere that she was engaged and soon to be married. Apparently, this was “the one” and “her knight in shining armor”, or so she claims. She’d have periods of puppy love infatuation every now and then with one of her flings, but since your Dad left the picture, none of your Mom’s relationships had led to a ring on her finger- much less a mansion to share with her new fiance.

The moving process proceeded as quickly as your Mom’s relationship had. In the blink of an eye, all your belongings were packed away nicely in boxes and placed in the back of a truck, soon to be parked in the driveway of your new house. It was as if your Mom wanted to move in together with her latest obsession before her new man realized how horrible of a wife she’d make. Your Dad could attest to that. 

The news about the engagement and rushed move all hit you suddenly, sure. But no amount of new information or experiences could have crashed into you quite as hard as your new step brother.

Literally. 

“Ow, fuck,” you rubbed your side, “Watch where you’re going.”

Gojo Satoru. 

Despite the angelic features, this boy was nothing short of the devil. Whenever you were bored, you’d flip through TV channels and stumble across trashy reality shows where rich people drank alcohol like it was water, partied until the sun came up, and had money to burn. You’d laugh at the over the top antics. Surely you’d never run into someone who actually behaved that way, right?

You wish you were wrong. 

Gojo turns around and lets out a chuckle, “My bad, sweets. I’m not used to having such dwarfs living here. The air must be a lil’ different down there, yeah?”

He places his palm on the top of your head and gives it a pat, smirk painted on his lips. You bat his hand away and take a step back, “You say that is if you’re not ducking to keep your head from hitting the door frame. I’m not tall, you're just freakishly tall.”

Smirking at you, he leans a bit closer to your face. He smells of strawberries, you note.

“Well, you know what they say about tall guys with big hands, right? Do you wanna find out if the rumors are true? I’ll give you a hint,” He takes another step closer, “they’re more than true. And all ya gotta do is step into my room and see for yourself.”

You bristle. 

His loud music? His rowdy friends that came over? His unwillingness to wash dishes? None of that came close to the bullshit that came from Gojo’s mouth. If it wasn’t suggestive comments spilling from his mouth, it was outright filth. 

Somewhere in Gojo’s mind, you two being in the city for the summer and practically home alone given your parents were constantly out doing God knows what meant it was open season to flirt and harass you mercilessly. It started as brushing your shoulder and occasionally touching your lower back when he would move past you in the hallway or kitchen, and now it progressed to… this. 

Stepping back like you’d been burned, you look at him with irritation, “Are you on crack? Is it crack that you smoke?”

He quirks his head to the side with a little smile on his face, “Whatcha mean, sweetheart? Don’t Mom and Dad want us to bond?”

You bring your hands to your head to massage your temples, “I’m going to pretend you didn’t just say… any of what you just said.”

Turning around you begin to walk away, “Keep all your pervy comments to yourself, clean your dishes in the sink, and stay out of my way. I’m supposed to be on summer break, for fuck’s sake. I didn’t come back home from one headache to live next door to another.”

Gojo’s lips curl upwards at that as he tilts his head to the side to get a nicer view of your ass as you walk toward the other room. He knew he’d get you eventually, he just had to play the long game. Despite what the people around him thought, Gojo was no fool. He saw right through his Dad’s rushed engagement and gave the two love birds a few months tops before the relationship failed. And if his Dad was allowed to make foolish mistakes in the name of love (lust), then couldn’t he do the same? After all, it’s not like he’s ever going to see you again once the marriage falls through. 

He might as well enjoy this little…. sibling dynamic while it lasts, right? That’s what any good brother would do. And in that moment, Gojo decides to himself that he is that good brother. Oh, he’d be the best big brother. 

Despite the constant annoyances from the white-haired, blue-eyed demon spawn who resided in the house, you did appreciate the in-house washer and dryer. Lugging your dirty clothes from your apartment to the laundry room of your housing complex was quite the pain. 

Humming a tune to yourself, you walked to the dryer with an empty hamper held against your hip. Opening the dryer door, you leaned down and began to remove the items of clothing. You leaned in a bit further when you noticed a sock at the very back of the appliance. 

Rip

You froze. You’ve never been the religious type, but you prayed to whatever god existed that your favorite sweater did not just get caught in the door of the dyer. You held your breath and tried to pull back a little further.

Riiiip

This time the tear was louder and you could just picture the fabric coming loose. 

Biting your lip you tried to wiggle around a bit to find a way to back away from the dryer door without ruining your sweater even further. No luck. 

After some time bent over with your upper torso stuck in the dryer, you heard footsteps approaching the laundry room. 

“Thank God,” you breathed out, “Mom, can you lend me a hand? The fabric on my sweater is stuck to the door of the dryer, and I don’t want to pull away since it’ll rip the top even more.”

You felt a hand brush against your upper thigh, and your breath caught in your throat. 

“Oh, I’d love to help, sweetheart,” Gogo sighed, “But I can lend you a whole lot more than just a hand.” 

With as much strength as you could muster (given your upper body is stuck inside a godforsaken dryer), you kick behind yourself in an attempt to get him away from you… only to have him catch your foot in his large hand. 

“Oh,” he tsks, “That’s no way to treat your loving brother, is it? After all, I’m just trying to help my cute, helpless little sister.”

You grit your teeth, “So help me God, Gojo, if you touch me again, I’m going to rip your dick off and shove it down your throat.”

Although you can’t see him, you know he has that infuriating smirk painted on his face. “Nice to know you’ve got my dick on your mind, princess. Although I think I’d like my dick inside something else…”

Latching his hands onto your hips, he pulls your ass against him and grinds against you slowly. 

God, was it a bad day to have worn a skirt. 

“These skirts? These thighs?” he groans, “This ass? God, it’s like you’re begging me to take you. Seeing you leave the house with those skimpy little outfits on made me want to drag you to my room and fuck some manners into you. Maybe then you’d know not to show off what’s mine.”

You furrow your eyebrows so aggressively you know there’s guaranteed wrinkles. “What on earth are you talking about?” you spit, “Get the fuck away from me!”

You squirm some more but to no avail. He grabs your hips even tighter, and you feel the outline of something long and hard against your ass. You do everything in your power not to gasp. The last thing you want to do is give him the satisfaction of knowing how much this is affecting you. 

“You don’t get it, do you?” he asks in a taunting tone, “I’ve known since day one that your Mom and my Dad were never gonna last. But that doesn’t mean we can’t have some fun of our own, right?” He grinds against you again, and the end of your skirt pushes higher up your thighs. “And I couldn’t believe my luck when I just so happened to be walking past the laundry room and spotted you all nice and vulnerable for me.”

“Gojo, this isn’t funny. Let go,” you bite back. 

“Oh, no, I think I’m gonna take my time and enjoy this,” he continues to roll his hips against yours and removes one of his hands from your hips to push your skirt up and over your ass, revealing your panties. “Black lace? You’re kidding me, sweetheart. It’s like you planned for this all along. You want me as bad as I want you, huh?”

You feel his fingers run along the elastic of your underwear and begin to slip them down your legs. This time, you really do gasp. And Gojo certainly heard it if his dark chuckle is anything to go by. 

“I’m not fucking around, Gojo,” you let out desperately, knowing where things are about to head, “This is fucked up. You’re my step brother, and there’s no way in hell I’d sleep with you. If you let me go now, I won’t tell our parents.”

By this point your panties are on the floor and your skirt isn’t covering any part of your ass. “Oh, go ahead and tell them, princess,” Gojo remarks as his fingers draw closer to your cunt. “Let ‘em know how good your step brother makes you feel. Family comes first. And in this case,” his longer digits finally reach your pussy, “you’ll be coming in more ways than one.”

He runs a finger up and down your slit, and as much as you try and fight back, your body gives into the pleasure, especially when his fingers reach your clit and begin to roll against the bundle of nerves. “Thaaaat’s it,” he purrs, “Almost like this body was made for me the way I know it like the back of my hand, hm?”

He picks up the pace at which he rubs your clit and suddenly inserts a finger inside your cunt. “Dripping already and you really had the nerve to pretend you didn’t want this. Kind of a sorry attempt to maintain your modesty, sweetheart.”

Pumping his finger in and out of you, you're beginning to lose the strength in your legs. If it weren’t for the fact that your upper torso was held up by the dryer, your legs might have given out. 

“G-Gojo, we shouldn’t-” 

He cuts you off, “You’re really going to tell me you don’t want this while you’re soaked already? Your mouth is saying one thing, but this pussy is saying another, sweetheart.”

As if to prove you wrong, he adds another finger and picks up the speed at which he’s scissoring your poor pussy. You let out a moan and allow yourself to push back against his fingers, barely mindful of your snagged sweater that landed you in this mess in the first place. 

You’re embarrassed to say (and you’d never admit this to Gojo), but you’re getting increasingly closer to your orgasm. You’ve been with your fair share of guys, sure, but no boy has ever made you feel as good as Gojo was making you feel right now. 

And that drove you nuts. 

Before you could stop yourself, you let out a moan. The pleasure of Gojo’s fingers on your clit and in your cunt was making your mind hazy and forgetful of the promise you made to yourself to not reveal how good Gojo was making you feel with his fingers alone. It was only a matter of time before your legs gave out completely if you’re being honest with yourself. 

“Oh?” Gojo asks tauntingly, “You enjoying yourself, pretty? What happened to that bratty mouth of yours? You just needed that attitude fucked right out of you, yeah?” 

Since Gojo already heard your moan and knew how your body was responding to his stimulation, you all but dropped your resolve and made no efforts to hold your noises back. After all, you were getting closer and closer to your release, and your brain hardly had the capacity to stay silent while taking his fingers. 

The lewd sounds of Gojo’s fingers pumping in and out of you were nothing short of filthy, and you’re almost ashamed to admit it turned you on even more. “Hear that?” Gojo asked as he continued his rhythm. “It’s like she’s calling out for me. You’re close, right?”

You whine at the question. 

“There’s no need to respond, sweetheart. I already know the answer,” Gojo quips with a smile. “But I think this pretty pussy of yours can be a bit louder… How about we pick up the pace a bit, yeah? Maybe add another finger? You can take it, right?”

Before you can respond, he adds another one of his long fingers and is plunging in and out of you at a mind bending pace. Your voice is shaky at best as you whine at the feeling. “Fuck,” you moan, “S-Sato-”

The white-haired boy smiles at your broken speech and the (attempted) use of his first name, “What was that, baby? Trying to moan your step brother’s name, let everyone know how deep his fingers are in your pussy?”

“Ugh,” you groan, trying to muster up the last bits of willpower you have left, “fuck you.”

He laughs at your comment and is half impressed that you’re still able to talk back. “Hm, still talking shit? Don’t worry, my tongue and cock will take care of that riiiight away. But first,” his pace gets impossibly faster, “you’re gonna cum all over my fingers.”

As if by magic, you came immediately after the words left his mouth. If you weren’t already a bit fucked out, you would have pondered how Gojo seemed to already know your body better than you did. 

Gojo pulls his fingers out of your sopping cunt and sucks them clean. “Hm,” he hums, “Tastes even better than I imagined. You’ll let me get another taste, right? I mean, that’s the least you can do for your step brother after he made you cum so nicely on his fingers.”

He slowly lowers himself to the floor as you process his words, and before you could formulate a response, his tongue is on your pussy. You gasp out and would be tempted to reach back and grab his hair if your arms weren’t stuck inside the damn dryer. 

Gojo groans into your pussy, “Fuck, sweetheart, you tasted amazing on my fingers, but I like it even better from the source.”

He dives back in and has you moaning out for more. The way he moves his lips up and down your slit and rolls his tongue around your clit feels heavenly, despite the fact that the boy is the devil himself. 

Your legs are growing noticeably weaker, and Gojo loops his arms around your lower thighs to keep you in place and pull your cunt closer to his greedy mouth. Even then, your lower half is twitching in stimulation. Despite the tremors, you try to push your hips against Gojo’s face even more, and he lets out a laugh at the feeling. If you could see Gojo, you would see how much your sounds and movements are affecting him. He’s already high on the feeling of tongue-fucking you. But from inside the dryer, you can’t see that he’s as hard as a fucking rock, and his leaking cock is straining against his sweatpants to the point where it’s almost painful. 

His tongue settles on your clit and begins to alternate from sucking to rubbing figure eights on the bud. You’re really hoping no one else is home. Because if someone is, there’s no way they wouldn’t hear your desperate moans that are only increasing in volume as Gojo continues to eat you out like your pussy is his last meal. 

“Satoru, that feels so fucking good,” you sigh, leaning your head down to rest against the wall of the dryer since you’re unable to keep it up. 

“Oh, it’s Satoru now, is it?” he asks mockingly as he leans back and lets his fingers continue the pleasure on your clit, “You’re telling me all I had to do to get on your nice side was suck on this pretty pussy? Sweetheart, I would have done that for free.”

He leans back in and latches his tongue to your clit once more, picking up the pace and intensity of his sucking. With the little leg strength you have left, you bounce the lower half of your body against Gojo’s mouth continuously in an attempt to increase the stimulation. 

‘She wants to ride my tongue, huh?’ Gojo thinks to himself. ‘She’ll have all the time in the world to do that when I get her to sit on my face.’

Gojo’s turned on even more at the thought of you suffocating him with your thighs as your cunt drops on to his lips. He’ll have to experience it soon before the idea drives him even closer to insanity. 

Fuck, he couldn’t get enough of you.

He moans into your pussy, and the vibrations almost make you cum on the spot. The feeling is so good your eyes are nearly rolling back in your head. You’re really glad Gojo can’t see your face or he’d never let you forget the fucked out look in your eyes. However, what you don’t know is that Gojo won’t let you forget how good he fucked you no matter what your facial expressions looked like- those were just the cherry on top. 

“I’m so close, Satoru,” you whine, “Please don’t stop.”

You continue to grind on his face, shaking with pleasure and beginning to feel beads of sweat form on your forehead from the heat of the tongue-fucking coupled with the warmth of the dryer. 

The dam broke when Gojo landed a loud smack on your ass. You yelped and your legs gave way fully as you released all over his face. Gojo licked up every last drop of your cum and left kisses around your inner thighs before he pulled away. 

“Damn,” he breathed out as he rubbed his hand against the cheek he just spanked, “I didn’t take you for the masochist type, little sis. Got any other secrets I should know about? Or should I just find them out myself?

You whine at the feeling of his hand on your ass. You know there’ll be a mark there tomorrow. But you couldn’t focus on the long-term consequences of what was happening right now in the laundry room. It was fucked up, of course, but it felt so good that you didn’t even care how wrong it was. 

“Satoru,” you spoke, voice a bit hoarse from moaning, “need you to fuck me.”

Gojo tilts his head in faux confusion, “What was that, princess? I didn’t quite catch that. I mean, you are stuck in the dryer, after all. How else would I have been able to get you this easy and exposed for me?”

You groan in equal parts irritation and desperation. If you weren’t so fucked out already, you would have certainly cussed him out by now. 

“I said,” you repeat more firmly, “I need you to fuck me.”

He hums, “What? No “please”? And here I thought I’d fucked some manners into you. I guess all you respond to is cock, huh?” He brings his hand down against your ass once more. “Why don’t you try again, sweetheart?”

“Please,” you beg, “Please, please, please fuck me, Satoru. I need your cock so bad.”

You know he’s got that bratty smile on his face when he hears your words. His little step sister wants his cock, and who is he to deny her?

He quickly pulls down his sweats and spits on it before pumping it a few times. He rubs the head of his cock up and down your slit before lining it up with your entrance. 

“Wait,” you manage to snap out of your daze, “Satoru, we need condoms.”

He clicks his tongue and shakes his head, “Condoms? Baby, don’t you trust your step brother? You know I’m clean.”

You open your mouth to refuse, but your mind gets more and more hazy as he rubs his cock against your folds. 

“And besides,” Gojo grunts, “You’ll be begging for my cum soon enough.”

Without another word, Gojo slides into you. You curse out loud. He’s not even all the way in, and he feels fucking huge. The tip alone is wide enough that the ring of your pussy stretches uncomfortably and you feel it sting. And, fuck, even though it feels like he’s been pushing in for forever, he’s still not done. 

“Fucking, fuck,” you gasp, “Are you all the way in yet?

You can’t see his length, but as he pushes deeper and deeper inside your wet pussy, you suspect he’s got to be somewhere around 9 inches at least. Of course, the rich, popular, pretty boy has a massive cock, because he’s just so infuriatingly perfect.

“Just about, sweetheart,” he hisses and finally bottoms out, “What? Don’t tell me you want to back out now. You’re the one who wanted this, remember? My bratty little slut of a step sister can’t take the cock she begged for just a minute ago?”

You bite your lip and try to adjust to his gigantic length. Once the burn subsides, you feel the pleasure seep in. You’ve never felt so full. It was as if he were in your guts, and if you could look at your abdomen, you’d see his cock bulging from your tummy. You could only imagine how much fuller you’d feel when he actually came.

And although you had been apprehensive earlier, now the idea of Gojo cumming deep inside you nearly had you drooling. Better yet, his cock is so massive that instead of drooling saliva, you imagined his cum dripping from your mouth because he had filled up your pussy past the brim. 

“Fuck, I can’t wait any longer, sweetheart,” Gojo groans and begins to fuck into you. “You’re so fucking tight it feels like your pussy is suffocating my cock.”

You moan at his words and try to picture his face as he takes you from behind. Gojo has always been attractive- that was never up for debate. But you could only imagine how hot he’d look with his eyebrows furrowed as he bit down on his pretty pink lips and sweat rolled down the sides of his face. You bet his white hair would stick to his forehead a bit, and you’d kill to run your fingers along his uppercut while he fucked you. 

That can be for another time. 

“Oh, my God,” you cry out as he pounds into you, “Just like that, Satoru, don’t stop.”

He playfully rolls his eyes as if your pussy wasn’t frying his brain too, “So demanding,” he tuts. 

Picking up the pace, Gojo begins to slam his hips against yours even harder. He lands another spank on your ass and grabs your hips tightly with his free hand.

When was the last time you got laid? You can’t even remember when the dick you’re getting now is so good. And you certainly have never had a guy this big before, that’s for sure. But you almost feel like a virgin, because you have never been fucked like this before. It was an experience you hadn’t even considered until now.

“God, you have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do this,” Gojo professes, “Every time I’d hear you touching yourself in your room, I wanted to kick the door down and take care of you myself.”

If you weren't so absolutely cockdrunk already, you would have been positively flushed with embarrassment at his comment given you thought you’d been so quiet and strategic about when you played with yourself. 

“Fucking hell,” Gojo removed his hand from your ass pushed his hair out of his eyes. “I even thought about sneaking cameras into your room to get an exclusive glimpse of what you looked like all needy and desperate to cum.” 

You gasped at the vulgar statement and felt yourself grow strangely wetter. 

Since when did any yandere behavior turn you on? 

Gojo laughs when he feels you tighten around him. “Oh, you like that? Well, now that I have this pussy, I’m never letting it go. No need for those cameras anymore, sweetheart. Why watch clips when I have this cunt instead?”

You really felt like you were going insane at this point. His cock is bullying itself into your cunt at an almost bruising pace. You could feel your wetness run down your thighs and your cheeks burn with embarrassment imagining the mess you’ve made on the floor from the amount of cum you’ve released. 

Gojo’s not faring any better. He felt like he would bust almost immediately after pushing into you, but he’d be damned if he fucked up this moment- the moment he had been imagining and wait for since the first time he laid eyes on you. 

“Oh, step sister,” Gojo said in a sing-song voice in between grunts, “Could you imagine if Mom and Dad walked in on us now? What would they say, seeing your precious little cunt be stretched out by your step brother’s cock, huh?”

Moaning at the thought, you try to close your legs a bit at the overstimulation.

“Oh, no you don’t,” Gojo quips and pulls your legs apart before shoving a hand between them and attaches his fingers to your abused clit. “There’s no way you’re getting away from my cock until you’re filled with my cum and can’t remember a thing except my name. Got it?”

You nod your head but immediately receive another spank. “Words, princess.”

“Yes!” you cry. Since there are tears welling up in your eyes, you’re now sweating, drooling, and crying. Gojo must hear your sniffling since he remarks, “Next time, I’ll take you from the front. That way, I’ll be able to see your face when I fuck you dumb.”

His words get progressively dirtier as he pounds into you. He’s so caught up in the sensation of your pussy clenching around his cock that he’s almost rambling nonsense at this point. 

“Do you know how hard it is not to push you down face-first on the counter when you walk into the kitchen wearing those tight dresses or short skirts? It’s crazy how I've waited this long to fuck you,” he pants. “Fuck, I’ll have to take pictures of you after I’m finished fucking this sloppy pussy so I can show all my friends what they're missing.”

You never imagined you’d be into voyeurism, but the way Gojo is describing how he’d photograph and record you to show you off to his friends like some prize to be won has you moaning out even louder. Your whole body feels like it’s on fire. And everything Gojo is saying and doing is only adding fuel. 

He was reaching parts of you that you didn’t even know could be reached. And he could tell by your reactions how good you felt taking his cock.

“Poor little girl,” he sighed out, “I bet you were getting tired of playing with this pretty pussy all by yourself, right? Your fingers just weren’t long enough to reach right…. here.” He hits your g-spot head on, and it has you screaming out his name. He rams against the spot over and over again, and you swear you’re seeing stars. 

His stamina should be studied by scientists the way he’s relentless as he pounds into you without any sign of slowing down. You knew for a fact that you would have collapsed onto the floor if not for the dryer door and Gojo’s arms keeping you up. You felt like a ragdoll with the way he was fucking you. You weren’t a person in this moment, you were his own personal fleshlight. And he’d be damned if he let you walk away without your pussy perfectly molded to fit his dick and his alone- not that you’ll be able to do much walking for a while anyway. 

“Y-you so big, Satoru,” you exhale, “I swear I can feel you in my throat.”

He laughs at your cockdrunk comment, “Believe me, sweetheart. Next time, my cock will be in that throat.”

He starts rubbing your clit even faster than before, and you’re doing everything you can not to scream your throat raw. It’s like Gojo has some sixth sense for your facial expressions since he barks, “Don’t you dare keep that mouth closed. I waited too long to fuck this tight pussy for you to hold back your screams.”

Your ass shakes as he spanks you multiple times in a row. With each spank, your moans get louder, your ass now bright red and warm to the touch. 

Removing his hand from your waist, your legs fumble. You’re barely standing upright, and practically all your weight rests on the where you body slumps over the dryer. “You better keep standing, pretty.” Gojo taunts. “Because you’re gonna have a much harder time taking my cock if you slip.” He threatens you as if he wouldn’t just fuck your boneless body on the floor, but he feels you tighten even more with his empty threat. 

Using his free hand, he spits on his fingers and brings them to your ass. Your eyes shoot open when you feel one of his digits run against the rim of your ass. “S-Satoru, what are you d-doing?” you stammer out, trying your best to form remotely coherent sentences. 

“What am I d-doing?” Gojo mocks. “Well, I’m just showing this hole some love too. Must have felt left out seeing your pussy be stuffed so nicely, yeah?”

He runs his finger along the rim and leans down to spit another dab of saliva on the hole all while keeping up his cock’s brutal pace and unforgiving assault on your clit. 

You clear your throat and shake your head in a poor attempt to clear your mind. “S-Satoru, I haven’t done anything there yet,” you pant. “Y-you shouldn’t do that.”

He smiles almost sinisterly, “Oh, I think I should, sweetheart. And that’s what I’m gonna do.”

Without any warning, he pushes his finger into your ass, and you yelp at the foreign sensation. You’d never tried anal with any of your past boyfriends. This was entirely new terrain. 

And Gojo dismissed your apprehension like he was swatting a fly. 

If anyone else did something like that to you, you’d wring their necks. So why did it feel so damn good when Gojo did it?

You moan louder as he begins to pump the digit in and out slowly, his spit acting as makeshift lube for the tight muscle. The combined sensations of your clit, cunt, and ass being played with was driving you insane. 

“F-fuck, Satoru,” you nearly wail, “I can’t take anymore, it’s too much!”

He shakes his head in mock disappointment, “Oh, no, pretty. You can and will take it. You’re not done until I say you are.”

You’re fully sobbing by this point. You can’t tell where your tears end and where your drool begins. Your whole body is shaking and not just because of Gojo’s unforgiving pounding. 

“I’m so close,” you exclaim, “F-feel like I’m going to explode.” You didn’t even know how to explain what you were feeling at this point. 

“Explode, huh?” Gojo questions as he bites back a groan, “Well, that sounds exciting. How could you possibly ask me to stop now? We’re gonna miss the best part.”

You bite the inside of your cheek so hard that you taste the metallic flavor of blood that mixes with the excess saliva in your mouth from all your drooling. And if you were actually able to think clearly, you would have noticed the saltiness from your tears as well. 

“S-Satoru!” you scream. “I think I’m gonna-”

You didn’t even get to finish your sentence before you’re squirting all over your and Gojo’s legs, the floor, the side of the dryer. Your whole body is trembling, and you feel as if you’ve been electrocuted. You’re still crying out as Gojo brings both of his hands down to your hips to fuck you even harder. 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” Gojo moans loudly, “Did you just squirt? Fucking god, I can’t wait to lick it off you.” His pace is as rough as ever, but it feels even more intense since you just had the strongest orgasm of your entire life. “I’m gonna fill up this pretty little pussy, and then no other guy will want my sloppy seconds, yeah? This pussy belongs to me now.”

Gojo fucks into you one, two, three more times before he’s shooting thick, hot ropes of cum deep into your weeping pussy, still unbearably sensitive from squirting. If you weren’t so fucked out of your mind, you would have been mortified that you squirted- on Gojo and because of Gojo, nonetheless. 

It feels like ages before his cock stops filling you with his seed and he finally stills inside of you. That’s a miracle if ever you’ve seen one, because you thought you would die if he kept going. 

You both wince as he pulls out, and he watches in awe as his cum spills from your cunt. You hear him rustle through his discarded clothes on the floor before you hear the click of a camera. This little sound effect draws you from your haze a bit.

“G-Gojo!” you yell. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”

You can hear a pout in his voice. “Gojo? What happened to Satoru, hm? Is that name only reserved for when I fuck you?”

“Delete that immediately!” you wiggle in place. 

He just scoffs and shakes his head. “Oh? You really want me to delete it? Because I could have swore you were just smothering my cock when I told you how badly I wanted to take pics of you after I’d fucked you stupid.”

You huff and are about to argue back when you feel him run his fingers against your thighs once more, and your words are caught in your throat.

“Speaking of which…” Gojo hums, “I must not have fucked you hard enough if you can still talk back to me…”

Your breath hitches. 

“I guess that just means I’ll have to fuck you again then, won’t I?” Gojo thinks aloud and grabs your ass with both hands. “Like I said, family comes first.”

---

if you made it this far...thanks guys lmao

[calebrity]

june seems too late

caleb (xia yizhou) x female reader (mc)

for your graduation, caleb takes two weeks off to visit. things don’t go like they should.

▻ cw. noncon elements, pseudo-cest, light smut/nsfw, dark themes, caleb is a yandere what’s new, lots of pining and unrequited love, characters are 18+

▻ notes. hey yall so caleb’s mullet is actually killing me in catch-22. anyways heed the warnings & do enjoy 🤍 you can read this on ao3 (username caked) if you prefer that :3 homeboy is actually insane but i love him he’s precious . 10k words slowburn buckle up. im planning to post lotssss of caleb, raf, and sylus stuff so keep an eye peeled!! :P

𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒕𝒔 + 𝒓𝒆𝒃𝒍𝒐𝒈𝒔 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒂𝒑𝒑𝒓𝒆𝒄𝒊𝒂𝒕𝒆𝒅 (๑´ `๑)♡

June comes at a breakneck speed.

Before they step out the door, she’s fussing all over the wrinkle in her robe and worrying that the cap will sit weirdly on her head.

In the car, on the way there, she doesn’t voice any more of her fears lest they intensify, but Caleb spots them all as if they’re written on her face. She fidgets and does not notice the way he looks at her.

Probably for the better, he thinks.

When they part, he gives her a pat on the shoulder (as opposed to rustling her meticulously-styled hair) and tells her not to worry. She’ll do great. This is a big day for her; he pleasantly remembers his own ceremony and urges that hers will be just as smooth.

It seems good enough for her. She’s dragged off by her friend, skipping hand-in-hand, and her nervous giggles ring in his head in a building full of noisy people. It might as well be a little pin dropping in a quiet room.

Sometimes Caleb almost forgets just how much stock that girl- his precious little meimei- puts into him and his words. It stirs something tender in his heart, and then he recalls his true feelings and it twists. Twists like a knife or the bitter truth.

There’s only a couple years between them, and yet during her graduation, Caleb can’t help but feel a sense of pride tug in his chest alongside something deeply bittersweet.

She’ll for sure be spreading her wings now. She’ll for sure be leavin’ him behind.

And he’ll have to say yes to it, that it’s fine with him. Pretend like he doesn’t care. He’s got a natural talent at dissimulating his intriciate, troublesome feelings, but it doesn’t mean he enjoys it. No, sometimes he just wishes she’d… see him. See him for what he truly is and not run in the other direction screaming, who are you and what did you do to my gege?

But that’s selfish, isn’t it? He huffs with a small, wry smile.

While waiting for the event to commence, Gran eagerly watches the stage, and Caleb lowers his head.

She’ll be spreading her wings for real, an inner voice murmurs again, rubbing it in his face. And then she’ll fly away. Never come back to you. Leave our nest to make a new one.

That, oh, that thought— Caleb’s not a generally angry person, but that has choler flaring in his chest... Imagining somebody standing by her side that isn’t him fills him with a darkness he cannot label. But he’s trying to be good, a good older brother. He’s been… trying for so long, and…

Even if he knows deep down that if he doesn’t do something, she’ll fly away—

“Beautiful, isn’t she?” Gran says beside him. She tucks her hand in the crook of his strong arm and he returns half the dimpled smile on her face.

Her words cannot be truer. His little sister is breathtaking; it’s the kind of beauty that will bring a man to his knees and plant soft longing in his heart. Evidently, though, it’s not the kind of beauty to bring a dog to heel…: she’s like a bowl of kibble and something rotten in him salivates at the smell of it.

It’s funny, you know, how much of a hypocrite he is. He gives her the saddest puppy eyes to get what he wants but there’s a big mean dog hiding in his heart. Barking and wanting.

Caleb curses himself. On the outside, he hums fondly. “Always. Hm… To be able to say I’m her big brother feels like an accomplishment in itself. I’m real proud’a her.”

Gran’s not looking at him; all eyes in the auditorium, including his, are leveled towards the stage and the spotlight raining over students shuffling in gowns. Caleb is thankful for that. Caleb has had a distinct self awareness since middle school, and he knows better than to let the love in his eyes- the kind that’s not entirely brotherly- reveal itself to any onlookers.

He’s kept on his toes by all the secrets he walks with. He’s kept on his toes by her.

“I can’t believe this day has come,” the elderly woman beside him (not tied to him by any biological means, but he loves her regardless) holds a tissue to her eyes and fights a teary smile. Caleb, utterly entranced by the familiar figure slowly inching closer to the podium and administrator, gives a noncomittal hum to show he’s heard, but his heart is knocking at the sight of his little sister. He can’t stop it. He can’t even slow it.

“Ah, my sweet girl…” (And why her sorrow-tinged, doting words echo some of the ones he keeps to himself, Caleb stopped caring.)

Gran, still not glancing at her adopted boy (albeit, there is close to nothing about Caleb that now resembles a boy), takes his large hand in her wrinkled one. Her free one dabs away an elusive tear.

“It’ll be even harder to see once she moves out and all. I’m sure she’ll want to keep exploring the world. I just… I just hope she visits more than you do, dear,” her voice warbles with sadness, but she’s only teasing him out of love.

A breathy, uneven laugh escapes his pursed lips. Caleb swallows thickly, “Yep. But that’s natural, wantin’ to find new opportunities and such... She’s really coming outta her shell, isn’t she? And… she’d better visit,” he says playfully, “The dinner table would feel awfully quiet without her during the holidays, huh?”

He’s not conscious of half the things he’s saying, operating under autopilot: robotically, he speaks in the voice of a teasing, somewhat protective older brother and nobody bats an eye to it.

On the inside, his feelings experience endless turbulence.

But he’d miss her if she left, that’s for certain. Words could never do him justice. He’s never exactly deserved that, though, has he?

He smiles to himself. Pathetic.

He told a nosey friend, once, that he had lost his marbles long ago. He’d said it with a smile- a genuine one, too- and as if it was no big deal. Because Caleb reconciled with his sin nature long ago.

He’s so proud of his meimei. So caught up by her.

Wants to marry her. Wants to blow all his pilot earnings on a big glittering ring for her precious little finger, wants to make all those childhood games, the ones where he played the dad and she the mom, come to life. Oh, if he’s being perfectly honest, he wants to—

“Caleb, honey, are you coming?”

A papery hand gives his bicep a gentle squeeze beneath his button-up. He’s pulled from his reveries and he blinks, noting the crowd as it begins to thin out and the stage that meimei has stepped off of. “She’ll be waiting for us, I’m sure. And nervous,” she explains with a light laugh, “but I think she’s very excited, too.”

(So excited to start your new life apart from me, huh, sis?)

The lower half of his face reshapes into a small smile as he looks down at Gran and nods with reassurance. He’s so good at providing consolation to others but somehow consistently fails to do so during his lone moments of self-reflection.

“I’d promised her I’d treat her to some ice cream at that new stall that just opened up,” he chuckles, and this time it does harbor some real mirth there, his eyes lighting, “I honestly think she was more excited for a special dessert than her own graduation.”

Gran laughs at that, too.

Then, he’s led away. Led to her and happy as a child.

After the ceremony ends, his very real fears of her suddenly leaving are put to rest for a moment when she leaps into his arms- just as she did when they were younger- and locks him in a hug.

He’ll always be a willing prisoner, in that regard. A slave to her affections and the strange sickness that rears its head in the pit of his stomach even when he tries his best to drown it.

She’s his lifering. The one thing keeping him afloat.

He looks over his shoulder, back at the shore. There’s a striking realization that he’s been dragged so far from it… And then he looks back out to sea.

Sometimes, Caleb thinks he’s closer to the point where the waves converge on the endless horizon than he is to dry land. And that’s fine with him. Because Meimei is holding his hand, doggy-paddling beside him.

He knows he shouldn’t try to drag her under. But sometimes, that’s all he fucking wants. For her to feel this way, too.

What a selfish gege.

✷✷✷

Caleb’s frame is hugged by an intense, golden light. Windchimes tinkle in the breeze and bring a nexus of soothing sounds.

The air is balmy. Unsmistakably summer.

You kick a pebble from your shoe and look over to Caleb with a small smile, his long legs keeping an even pace with you despite your slower one and all the dillydallying. The sun flares off one side of his head and it’s so bright you have to squint.

“It’s nearly time for dinner, you know,” even as he reminds you, he can’t fight off the grin playing at his own lips. It’s not exactly like he wants to truncate this moment with you, but hunger is creeping up on you both just as sundown is, and this brisk walk is urging it out. Your belly has voiced as much. After his laugh had died down, Caleb showed his concern but sighed when you brushed it off.

“It’s fine,” you tell him again. “I’m not fully dependent on snacks, you know,” and a dirty voice in the back of his head, a very dark corner, accuses, then what do you depend on? “We won’t starve if we eat one hour later... I mean, how hungry are you?” You poke.

(A lot. So much, Meimei.)

A casual smile curls his lips. Everything about him is so outwardly relaxed when he’s with you; it’d take some intense scrutiny to pick up on the little tells of restlessness he constantly shoehorns down inside him.

Anything to protect you though, right? Even if that means from himself.

He replies with thought, “Ehh… I guess walking a little farther wouldn’t hurt,” he shrugs with one shoulder, a teasing edge to his voice because those old habits die hard.

“Just don’t tell me to carry you if your feet start to hurt, pipsqueak.”

“Hah. As if! You know, I’ve been training a lot. Those hunter exams might even be harder than the Aviation’s.” Your light banter is rewarded with a small, incredulous laugh and a playful raise of his brow. Right now, he looks so boyish, youth lighting his face even as you pass under the tinsel-like leaves of a shady willow tree. “I’m serious, Caleb! My body’s probably more endurant than yours now.”

A challenge is brewing, and the signs are obvious. The anticipating glint in his eye, the slight posturing in his steps and the downright valorous grin you pin at him— all are suggestive of an upcoming game. He just has to throw his own hat over the wall to officially mark its start.

Of course, he does just that.

“Oh, really now?” He smiles and his eyes crinkle with amusement. He gives his head a tilt. “Are you trying to provoke me, sis? ‘Cause I’ll have you know that these muscles aren’t just for show...”

With a pout, you give his arm, thick and fully exposed under the frayed fabric of his tank, a harmless shove. Caleb’s heart has an anomalistic skip and his bicep tingles. It takes a considerable amount of effort to not snatch your little wrist up and force you to do it again.

“Oh, c’mon, you may be all big and strong now, but all that muscle will just slow you down.” (You’re getting him all sorts of riled up today, aren’t you? It’s good to know you look at him, that you acknowledge the man he’s become.)

“Do you wanna test that theory? We could do a race,” he suggests simply, a fluctuation of excitement in his voice betraying itself. “Because I’m ready to go right now.”

You huff, competitive as ever. “Oh, we’ll see about that!”

You roll your cropped sleeves an inch over your shoulders (as if to replicate his sleeveless tee) and Caleb watches with humor as they unfurl immediately. You dart your head around and land on a streetlamp at the end of the quiet, cobbled path.

”There,” you point, “that light over there will be the finish line. You have to touch it before the other person does or you lose. You’ll be a rotten egg.”

“You’re so childish.”

“You’re racing too, y’know.”

“Alright, alright,” he easily surrenders, lifting his palms up. Truthfully, he has no intentions of backing out now, try as he might to pretend he’s not equally invested in this as you. He sets his feet behind a crack in the paved stone, right beside yours, and nonchalantly prepares himself for liftoff. “But when I win—“

“Your toe’s in front of the line, Gege! Don’t think I didn’t see it!”

“—Don’t go cryin’ to Gran like old times and ignore me for the rest of the day, okay?”

A fleeting pink colors your cheeks, flowering across your face like a bruise at the mention. “Geez,” you deflect bashfully, “You’re so caught up in the past, Caleb.”

The accusation isn’t unwarranted. Your older brother has this strange penchant to keep all your childhood traits like a bag of tokens in his back pocket, forever ready to pull one out on a whim.

His gaze lowers for a moment at your innocuous teasing, and you watch with a mix of confusion and guilt as an offhand sadness weighs in his expression.

You open your mouth, about to find something to remedy the ever so slight shift in the air, but he lifts his head and his eyes are cheerful. Sunny and bottomless.

He looks at you infinitely. It’s as startling as it is endearing.

Your brow relaxes when you give him a once-over and sense no lingering sorrow there, or any evidence that it even appeared to begin with. Maybe it’s just the heat getting to you.

“Well,” he smiles, teasing to a fault. “You ready, or… do you plan on chickenin’ out? I’ll let you if you admit defeat right now. Otherwise, don’t be a sore loser.”

You wave him off and level your eyes forward. “Psssh, sore loser….” Thrill beats in your ears with a rushing current of blood. You plant your hands to the gritty cobblestone and lean forward.

“The moment you agreed,” your little grin sparks back to life, “you lost, Gege.”

Oh, and he is just the rotten egg, isn’t he? The perverted dud and the lying, selfish asshole.

The wormy apple.

✷✷✷

There’s just some things in life you can never quite wipe from your memory.

Here’s one: The first time Caleb was called a sister-fucker.

He remembers that day and how condemning it felt. Like he’d been made the object of some irrevocable curse. It was unwarranted, it was: some stupid playground bullies were mouthing off after he rushed to your rescue for the umpteenth time, and the word flew like a witch would on a broom. Caleb was not prepared for that stab in his little heart.

That was in middle school, and he was angry. Ashamed, too. All sorts of clashing feelings, really. Those little brats said the f-word in front of you, his innocent little meimei, and to make matters worse, Caleb was not sure if the majority of his anger should lie with their accusation or his inability to determine whether it was grounded or not.

He was hardly fourteen, then, and you were twelve. He never laid his hands on you that way. No, never thought about it. He hardly had the capacity to, at that time.

At that time.

But that moment stayed with him,… and that dirty, dirty epithet was one that remained around the block until one day something peaked in him- that shame climbing to its point- and he beat it from their mouths.

It never did end up getting back around to you. For a number of reasons, Caleb is glad for that. Just to name a couple: It saved him from the flaming red ears, and the awkward chat the bird-and-the-bees topic surely would have been.

When it got around to Gran, though…

‘Caleb, dear, is there…’ The elderly woman, for all her experience in fostering children, was not exactly sure how to broach the subject- which was oddly risqué, and downright horrifying it if were to be true- with her young boy.

But she didn’t think it was true: sure, the two were exceptionally close, she trailed him like a lost puppy and he had some underlying impulse to anchor himself beside her at any given time, but they laughed and played and Caleb was always the archetype of a- sometimes cheeky, sometimes clingy- older brother.

Their behavior was considered very normal for their circumstances, she’d thought. They seemed inseparable upon the first meet. With their close bond came the occasional spat and meaningless argument, but that only served as more proof of their strictly sibling dynamic, too.

Gran thought about it for only a moment before finding her peace, and shortly after her words.

‘Why are those boys saying such things? What did you do to make them have it out for you?’ She was gentle but firm with him. Caleb was not afraid of her; just maybe the awful, creeping feeling in his gut that told him he was in the wrong after all.

‘N-Nothin’, Gran… They got upset because I wouldn’t let them pick on Meimei… Don’t worry though, I covered her ears so she wouldn’t hear them.’

But it’s not like he ever imagined actually laying his hands on you— L-Let alone fucking. Even as a boy, he had the sound-enough subconscious to shut away those fleeting, invasive thoughts and put some space between you two when he was feeling… extra confused.

Caleb’s twenty-one now, though. And you’re nineteen and things are different. Those tender, innocent feelings of love from your shared youths- the one-sided romance of your bond- has by now fully realized itself. It’s bled out into ruby-red fingers of desire like watercolor on a page, and they grasp Caleb tight. Refuse to let go. He’s not a boy anymore. And he’s not particularly kind anymore, either. His softness is a luxury that only you’re entitled to but every touch feels like a beatdown because of it.

Yeah he might be overbearing sometimes but you’re just as abrasive. You cut him in ways you could never know.

But Caleb’s not a sister-fucker. He’s not.

And he’s not all the shame associated with that title and the big fat cluster of intricate emotions like guilt, loneliness, and terrible, terrible longing… H-He’s not.

No— He hasn’t even fucked you yet.

✷✷✷

Two weeks. Caleb is allotted two weeks off from his responsibilities at the Aerospace Academy to spend the start of summer with you.

Late June marks your graduation and the beginning of an exciting break the both of you had been planning for months to share. Between a taxing schedule and study papers that pile up if he so much as thinks about holding off on them, Caleb is a bit pressed for free time. He’d been counting down the days until he arrived back in Linkon.

Now that it’s finally here- your mini summer ‘vacation’, as you’d called it- he won’t take any of it for granted.

He’s savored every little moment with you since childhood- no stranger to the sentimental. But as you emerge from your bedroom with a cute bikini with a white frilly skirt that hardly covers your ass, Caleb decides this memory needs to be given a little extra care.

You flutter past him and down the hall, sheepishly nodding for him to follow, and he realizes he’s been staring a little too long without saying anything. He plasters on a nonchalant grin and sticks his hands in the pockets of his swim trousers. “Okay, sis…” He compliments in his tone.

“You, uh… you ready to go now?” He asks, propping himself against the kitchen arch to watch you pour yourself some water. He reminds that there’s juice in the fridge and you quickly forego the tap. He chuckles at that.

You try to hide a shy smile from him, too much energy in your heels to not sway as you move around the kitchen. There’s a small ball of nerves in your belly and you can’t help but feel a bit naked in your two-piece. You bought it because you’d thought it was adorable, but truthfully you feel a bit out of place- under scrutiny, maybe- as you uncap the fruit juice.

“I’m ready,” you announce casually. “But did you see my bathing suit?”

“W-What about it? Yeah, it… looks nice.” He answers a bit breathlessly.

You look over your shoulder before picking up your glass and marching over. His gaze flutters when you do, like he’s bracing himself for something. In stature, he’s nothing like the round-faced kid you grew up with, standing over six feet tall with lean muscle to hug his broad frame, but right now, he looks almost boyish with anticipation.

On the way to him, you stuff down that inexplicable kernel of unease. You pretend your pulse isn’t fastening, too.

A quasi reaction of fight-or-flight stirs in your chest. For the life of you you don’t know why. Maybe you don’t wanna know.

You smile. Gege, solid arms folded over his muscled chest, regards you with a strange look. It disappears under a veneer of brotherly charm— gone like a feverish hot flash of something unreal.

You stop a few inches in front of him. “See?” You chirp, piking your shoulder up for him to observe. “The red polka dots are actually apples. Since you like them so much.”

After a pause- one that seems to stretch infinitely but is actually only brief- you watch Caleb’s cheeks turn to rubies. Heat flares at his ears.

He sets his jaw and lets out a small scoff, eyes flitting everywhere. “W-What are you sayin’, pipsqueak? You got it… just for me?”

“Ugh, no, Caleb!” You giggle with a hint of disbelief. “I just thought it was cute but wanted to show you.”

With an annoyed pout, you spin away from him and head for the island. On top of it, a cooler sits, its lid open. You nurse from your icy drink as you wedge a variety of cold beverages and the sandwiches he made at the bottom.

“Yeah, yeah,” he recollects himself and joins you at the counter, coming to your aid without prompting. “Well, I think it’s cute too. But don’tcha think it’s a little… showy? I’ll be sweating bullets the whole time we’re at the beach.”

You laugh under your breath, only half paying attention. Certainly not to the intense glint in his eye as he watches your profile, anyway. “Why? And you won’t be sweating if we’re in the water.”

“I don’t want any guys gettin’ the wrong idea,” he lilts, but there’s a notable tinge of seriousness there. “Thinkin’ my pipsqueak isn’t off limits.”

A soft pink warms your cheeks this time. “It’s fine, Caleb,” you murmur, dutifully ignoring his gaze- which you are now exceedingly aware of. “Everyone’ll be minding their own business- they’ll hardly be looking at me.”

Wryly, Caleb closes the cooler and raises his brow.

“Doubt it.”

He seems as if he has a lot more to say, but apparently holds off on it.

When you return home, it’s close to five and Gran has finished her errands. She sits in the living room on the lovechair, holding a cushion on her lap as she watches the news.

You hardly have time to greet her on the way down the hall: you bump shoulders and race with Caleb for the bathroom shower. Maybe he’s going a little easy on you (per usual), but you’re too tunneled in on reaching it in time to scold him for it.

“Ladies first!” You say with victory, grinning through the crack in the door as it groans with pressure, halfway open. Caleb crams his elbow in it to show he won’t give up so easily. You’re met with his bunched brow, his sun-dried, messy hair and a grudging smile he can’t quite fight off.

“Be a good gege and wait your turn!” You tell him.

The title weakens him. His hand falters and you manage to shut the door. The lock clicks softly.

“Alright, alright,” his voice sounds muted from the other side. His footsteps, retreating down the hallway after a belated few seconds, emit defeat.

Maybe some frustration, too.

Either that, or his feet have just gotten heavy.

“But if you use up all the hot water,” he warns, “I won’t let you help me with dinner. Just remember that. And let’s be real, I know you’re hungry.”

Well, he has you beat there. Maybe he knows you just as well as you do him.

It’s an endearing thought, actually; as the warm water pours, you slough away the sticky layer of sea salt and the sand glued to it with a smile. Once these two weeks are over, you’ll go right back to your normal life: your brother will return to the clouds and you’ll have to pretend, between a steady stream of pining texts and phonecalls meant to check in on you, that you don’t miss your gege. Even if sometimes, all you want is to leap back into time and hold his hand, cower behind his shoulder to escape the daunting fear of growing up.

You have responsibilities now. Dreams you’re meant to follow. You’ll train to be a hunter and then officially enroll into their program. Caleb will become a bonafide pilot within a couple months, achieving his lifelong dream, and might leave you in his proverbial contrails.

It’ll be just you and Gran, until you pack your boxes for an apartment downtown closer to your future workplace. Family will become a distant memory, a fading speck on the horizon or a phantom pain that tugs at your heart.

But… maybe that’s just what growing up means. Letting go of everything behind you. Caleb would certainly be able to relate with the sentiment that- other than each other and Gran- there was little to hold onto in the first place.

But… You’re not so sure about all of it. Maybe you’ll have to ask your gege for advice around the dinner table. You have no clue what will happen a month or year down the line, and to be perfectly honest that terrifies you, but for now—

You’ll make the most of this break with him and Gran all together.

✷✷✷

Half of it flies by in a blur.

Movie nights with buttery popcorn and long strolls by Bloomshore turn into fuzzy lines as soon as you look back at them. Once-quiet suppers with just you and Gran are revived with the cheerful presence of your brother, and the cabinets are filled with new snacks the two of you buy on impulse to test out.

You chase him around your cozy, childhood home demanding he deletes those awful pics of you- and the woman who took you both in as children calls from the couch for him to stop terrorizing you already.

He always swears it’s in good fun, but submits to your whining. Not without a flick to your forehead, though. It never hurts, but you make sure to stick your tongue in his face.

Evenings are spent on the floor by the coffee table.

Caleb busts out an old, wooden box from the closet and speaks in a wistful tone as you pass nostalgic photos and yellowed notes between each other. You’re about to poke at him for being so sentimental, but you spot a little mist in his eyes, so you refrain.

There’s six days left, tonight.

Neither of you remind the other of this ticking clock of sorts, but sometimes it will get quiet after a bout of laughter and you think you can feel it in the blanketing tension— the wordless countdown to zero.

X amount of days until I leave for Skyhaven. And, X amount of days until Caleb leaves us again.

You can hear it snicking like a stopwatch- and not the one Caleb wears.

A fan on the floor cools the balmy evening, but just a little.

You lie on your belly- utterly stuffed from another delicious meal- on his bed while he assembles a model. It’s some aircraft that you can’t hope to remember the name of, but he’s always gravitated towards that kind of thing, in more ways than one.

You kick your feet and moan with boredom when his eyes take on a very concentrated look and he hunches over the figure in his hands. He pokes his tongue out the corner of his mouth, he’s so engrossed.

Many minutes seem to pass. “Are you almost done, Caleb? We were ‘sposed to watch a movie tonight.”

Without glancing up, he chuckles lightly. “Be patient, pipsqueak. You know, it’ll go faster if you help me out here,” he suggests, nodding towards a few wayward pieces on the edge of the mattress. He scoops them up before they call fall off.

”Or are ya just gonna watch me do all the work?” He looks up to you and smiles. It’s soft. Smitten, almost.

You huff. “Fine. Okay, I’ll help.”

“Knew ya wouldn’t leave me hangin’.”

Seemingly pleased, his purple eyes stare for a moment longer before lowering. They remind you of the nebula sometimes: all bottomless and resplendent, and sometimes they get a little starry if you catch them for too long.

You’ve seen them darken like black holes before, though; some deep chasm taking over whenever his protectiveness flares up or he asks you, with his hand held tightly in yours, who made you cry. Then, he’s a force to be reckoned with, devoid of warmth and sharp-edged.

“Caleb, can I… ask you something?”

Caleb glances up immediately. Noting the sobriety of your expression and the lack of playfulness in your tone, he gives a quick nod. He lowers the half-constructed model- the one his hands absolutely dwarf- as if it’s no longer important.

“Of course,” he says. He gives his head a little reassuring tilt. “If there’s anything you’re curious about, you can tell me.”

You let out a small sigh. “Will you visit again? Visit more, I mean?”

He blinks and appears contemplative for a few seconds. Yet, you get the strange feeling that it’s less him trying to formulate an answer and more like he’s trying to figure out just what prompted your asking in the first place.

“Sure, whenever I get time,” he answers with a simple shrug. “You know I wish I could be here all the time, sis… For you and Gran,” but mostly you, he doesn’t clarify, “but the Academy is no joke. I need to work hard if I want to get in.”

His endless scores of A’s and A-pluses reflect his convictions. It’s really only one subject he can’t find it in him to master: Those damned, annoying mental wellness checks. (He thinks that all those less than reputable scores— they don’t reflect him, they reflect you.)

He smiles. “Then, I’ll be able to really support us.”

“Yeah…” You sigh softly after a beat. “But, like… what if you stop visiting? You’ll find a girlfriend and then never come to see me and Gran again,” you mask your very real concerns with a weak laugh.

Caleb’s brow gives a little twitch.

His expression falls, then, like swirling grey clouds that nudge aside white fluffy ones. Something in your chest seizing, you understand it’s disgust that rewrites his pleasant visage.

You just… don’t know why.

“Why would I get a girlfriend?”

You stare on with confusion. For a moment, you feel stunned because you’ve never seen him make that face before.

It takes an extra second or two to lasso in your rationale and laugh. “Well, you’re like twenty-something now. Isn’t that just what happens? You’ll find a girlfriend and I guess I’ll find a boyfriend. I mean, I bet Gran will be happy too if one of us brings home some babies—“

A derisive scoff cuts you off. “Babies?” He throws back, peering up at you through long lashes. He takes on the perfect Kubrick stare.

The scathing sound of his voice and the shadowy look in his eyes is more than enough to zip your lips. “Don’t you think we’re a little too young for that? Besides, we don’t have to do anything right now… If we want to stay single, that’s perfectly fine.”

A few moments of uninterrupted silence pass and leave you with no choice but to reflect on your actions. You inwardly ask yourself if you did something wrong. It certainly feels that way.

You give your throat an inaudible clear. “I was just teasing, Caleb, geez,” you brush off his intense stare by looking down.

The aircraft model looks big and unbreakable in your grasp, a far cry from how it appears when held in his. You distract yourself from the startled beating of your heart by rotating it in your hand.

“Y-You can dish it out, but you can’t take it?”

You don’t meet his eye when saying that, not when he’s regarding you like you’re little more than prey or tomorrow’s dinner. No, you don’t dare to.

Gege is reliable by nature. But you suppose he can exhibit his fair amount of ‘intimidating’ when need be.

You feel an unseen weight lift off your shoulders (when they became cowed, you don’t know) when Caleb heaves a sigh.

He’s apologetic, “Sorry, sis. You’re right. Talking about it just… freaks me out a little. I mean, I barely have the time to even think about it, let alone prepare.” He pauses for a moment, as if waiting for your input.

When you look back up at him, it’s as if nothing ever happened. As if he never changed.

His eyes beam like indigo gems, sunny and unaffected. He leans forward to pat your head and it takes a strangely high amount of effort to not flinch under the weight of his palm.

If he notices, his mild expression doesn’t betray any signs.

“Why, what’s up?” He quirks a playful brow. “You’re not… Seeing someone, are you?” Caleb questions with a light laugh, hands moving to fold over the plastic plane in his hands, though his gaze remains level on you. Glued there like he physically cannot take it off until you provide him with an answer.

“Did my pipsqueak fall in love with some boy while I was gone?”

A harsh gust of wind escapes you at that. A laugh, you realize, or what’s supposed to be a laugh. You resume inserting pieces into place, adamant on building the miniature aircraft.

Your cheeks feel toasty. He’s managed to make you feel startled, ashamed, and bashful all within the span of a minute or two. It’s as impressive as it is whiplash-inducing.

Your gege is watching you very carefully as you lower your chin and purse your lips. “No…” you say sheepishly. “If I did, I’d be spending the summer with him instead of you,” you tease.

That proclamation rings loud in Caleb’s ears like a gunshot bang.

She’ll spread her wings, and fly away.

He should be joyous that there is still an absence of that ‘special someone’ in your life, that he indeed is the one spending the prelude to summer with you.

But all he feels is a lump of dread forming in his belly.

It fattens and makes it hard to breathe. She’ll spread her wings and fly away. Leave you in her dust and all the memories. All the love.

”Yeah? Well, consider me lucky then.”

Something in his chest plummets. Too rapid to catch it. Too monstrous to hope to.

He lets it sink. Feels himself going with it. It’s getting so hard to hold out, Meimei. But don’t look at him with those eyes of wide startle. It’s still the Caleb you loved from your childhood, your beloved Gege.

Just with a whole lotta love that you couldn’t even begin to fucking fathom.

…Six days. Six days left.

He’s been granted a final, measly six days to change your mind and convince you that he’s still got a place in your life, in your heart. That it’s reserved only for him.

An uncanny smile warps Caleb’s lips.

“I’ll always visit,” he assures. “And don’t worry, sis… Once I get a girlfriend, you’ll definitely be the first one to know, okay?” He chuckles, a pleasant sound.

A pretty smile smooths out the remnant lines of uncertainty in your face. “Okay. And… I can visit you in Skyhaven, too?”

Delirious excitement blips across purple eyes, his grin too bright.

“Sure,” he cheerfully agrees. “Even better.”

✷✷✷

White dots his vision like a light leak seconds before you barge in.

That tight knot, the one that had been wrapping his stomach in threads of want and frustration and need, begins to unfurl at full pelt, and Caleb quivers as it happens.

Those academy girls could never quite compete with his pumping fist or the swirling thoughts in his head he gets himself off to. But he supposes they served their purposes where they could— in those moments of foolish thinking where he thought they could heal him and needed to at least make an attempt. To clear his conscious, if nothing else.

(Spoiler alert, a humored voice in his head says dryly. They didn’t. And of course they didn’t. They were never his precious little Meimei. That’s no one’s fault but his own for believing he could get ‘better.’

No. ‘Better’ is you. It always has been.)

He’s learned from all that, though. Played all those games- and people- ‘til they tuckered him out.

Relief bowls through him. That’s just what he needs, isn’t it? A little help. He’s never considered these short-lived sessions of fucking his fist a way to summon pleasure, no- although that is very much present when he does- but rather as a kind of damage control.

He’s too pent up and needy. He needs to take the edge off, somehow, lest some of that frustration teems over when he’s talking to you and he messes up. Messes up in a way he can’t fix.

After all, he’s entitled to his own self-soothing mechanisms, isn’t he?

Or… what, is he just meant to deny himself of that, too?

Caleb bites down on a deep moan and shakes.

Pleasure courses through his veins and builds to a high peak, certainly not one he can hope to climb down from in the short time it takes you to run down the hall and into his bedroom.

“Caleb, guess what—“

And, you know, it’s already embarrassing as is, being interrupted in a personal moment and caught in such a compromising position, but what makes it worser is when it’s your own little sister who walks in to find you with your cock in your hand.

What makes it… mortifying?

When she hears you saying her name during it.

When she gasps, her eyes losing their initial glitter as they flit down, his cock gives a shameless throb and Caleb can’t decipher if the lurch in his belly is from disgust or newfound arousal.

Either way, he realizes his nakedness and scrambles to fold the sheets over it.

(Bit too late for that though, huh?)

With labored breaths, he makes a sound akin to a whimper, voice thin and pained, and lets his jaw hang dumbly.

You seem to cotton on to reality once more, because you finally take a step back- a shaky, belated one- and begin to retreat into the sunlit hallway.

Evening casts a cherry-orange glow on the white walls that flickers when you backstep into one of the beams filtering from the window. It makes you look fiery and almost hellish. But he’s a sinner. A sinner by nature and so you’re inviting.

(And he came to terms with his sin nature long ago. Sometimes it just feels like he’s waiting on you.)

His love— so deep and fervent, spread in the pit of his being like apple seeds, tearing him apart from the core— brings endless guilt, maybe, but not regret. No, nothing is regrettable about you. And he’s sorry, he’s so fucking sorry, Meimei, that he’s a monstrous liar and he desperately wishes it wasn’t like this, that you could see him separate from a brother, but—

He can’t stop. He can’t stop.

And there’s a certain instant… where he’s had to pause and really look at himself and ask if he truly wants to.

What he feels for you is suffocating. Like an eldritch river beast snatching his ankle and dragging him down hopeless, louring depths. But he pictures your face in perfect peace and wears your locket close to his heart. He loves you endlessly. Would do it all for you.

Just… Maybe pretending he doesn’t feel what he feels for you isn’t apart of that equation.

He senses your departure with a stab of inexplicable panic. “Meimei,” he quickly stammers, reaching out with his free hand.

His other hand, the one with wet, dripping knuckles, sticky with his own seed, darts to hide behind him, placing a proverbial cloth over his sin.

He has half the brain that already wants to mitigate this situation as it plays out in front of him in real-time, and he’s all but praying a ‘clean-up’ of sorts is viable here...

The scale doesn’t quite seem to be tipping in his favor though and honest to God, he’s not surprised. He deserves it if anything, for being such a selfish, awful big brother. Oh, doesn’t he know.

You look horrified, and you are. It feels as if you’ve been splashed with cold water. Your chest warms like a hearth and tightens, but your limbs frost over. Icy-hot shock keeps you moored in the threshold of his bedroom door with wide, fluttering eyes.

“Wait, don’t go, i-it’s not—“

A feeble lie. Wholly unconvincing.

You’re naive to a fault, that’s been true since you were kids, and too kindhearted for your own good, but this is not a matter wherein you can feign ignorance... It’s not one where you’re running into his arms, either.

No, you look… afraid as you back away from him. Like his arms come dead last on the list of places you want to be.

Paired with the mute horror is abashment. A vivid pink glazes your cheekbones and Caleb, guiltily, thinks you look very pretty (albeit, he can’t remember there ever being a time where he didn’t think that).

You recollect just enough of your composure to pick up your jelly legs and maneuver them out.

The door clicks shut and the sound is too soft to warrant the tempest gusting through his chest. His heart thrums at racehorse speeds.

He said your name, Meimei (or more accurately, moaned it), and you heard it. He came, and you saw that, too- fountaining over the backs of his fingers like white water rapids. You… saw it all. Saw him.

A niggling feeling stirs inside him. Filthy and blinding but brief. It passes like a car in the night, there and then gone.

A voice purrs to life in the back of his head, one of greed and frustration. One of miserable longing. He listens to it for a moment, and it brings him catharsis.

The loneliness constantly enveloping him like fog at a mountain’s foot seems to thin out, but just a little... It allows some wiggle room for a warped sense of accomplishment to settle.

Because you saw him.

(And isn’t that all he ever wanted?)

Slowly, Caleb licks his dry lips and hazily notes the twitch of his cock against his wet abdomen. It’s flushed an angry red as it crawls back to life, but Caleb tucks it under the waistband of his boxers and contemplates his next move.

You’ll be in disarray, in shock, in a boiling pot of disgust and the likely, self-sabotaging questions of, is this somehow my fault? Maybe he’ll even capitalize off them— screwed-up, pathetic gege he is.

But you saw him and there’s just no denying it and now there’s no hiding place for him either. Not anymore.

This truth… you can both navigate it together.

There’s a pulsating mix of terror, guilt, and scorching excitement that takes the breath from his lungs as he lies back down. Relief moves in a thin undercurrent in his blood, reassuring him that it’ll be okay. Somehow, it will.

Little devils perch on either of Caleb’s shoulders. He feels a very odd sense of calm wash over him. You saw it. So…

Do you accept it?

He thinks you might just have to. For your gege’s sake, if nothing else. Because Meimei, this has been killing him for far too long.

Relieve him, why don’t you?

✷✷✷

His vacation of sorts is coming to a close.

Caleb blinks, and a few days scurry underfoot like mice— too quick to stop or comprehend. He steps on the tail ends of them, but they escape anyway.

You’ve been avoiding him.

Stowing yourself away in your bedroom and locking the door just in case he tries to come in; you don’t exactly expect him to come barging in like you did, especially not after what you’d seen, but you’d rather be safe than sorry.

You’re not afraid of your gege, you’re not. You never have been. But these past few days have felt nothing short of hellish.

You tell Gran you’re not feeling well when she asks why you’ve been skipping family dinners. She leaves a water bottle by the door with a tiny orange pill on top and believes you.

Sure, you told your tall tale or two growing up, and Caleb always had your back when you needed to cover up a small wrongdoing, but this is… different. To pretend that nothing is happening right now- or that it’s all fine- would be more than just a white lie.

Something is wrong with your Gege. Terribly.

You… don’t know what to do.

You love him. And you hate him, hate him in a way you never could when he used to steal your snacks as a child or conveniently forget to unlock the attic hatch.

These battling feelings only serve to complicate the situation further; your stomach is a war-ground of guilt, sorrow, and a disgust that viciously razes your wellbeing to the dirt.

How could you do this, Caleb? You think to yourself, curled up on your side, nuzzling into a heap of pillows. You’re under the illusion that this was an overnight thing. That he up and decided just a couple days ago to do the unthinkable- the reprehensible- and vocalize your name in the act. You don’t why he did it. What he was thinking. But whatever the reason could be, perhaps you don’t want to know.

Your own Gege….

Anger beats in your chest. Fear, too- making your belly toss with sickness. Now the future is more blurry than ever, and the one person you always leaned on for counsel has all but spat in your face. That’s what it feels like, at least. Like betrayal.

Hours drag by and you fall victim to endless swarms of butterflies, but not the good kind. The anxious kind. They fly in droves and absolutely piece you apart.

Guilt lances at your heart as you curse him in your head, and you hate that despite it all, you still feel the undercurrents of love for him.

For the entirety of your childhood, he was your shield. Your best friend, your protector, and the one person in the whole entire world you could always count on- perhaps more than Gran- to be there for you. Your teasing but well-meaning older brother. Now, you realize just how strong that sentiment is, because it stubbornly remains. Even now as you clench your teeth and hold back tears.

It’s buried under layers of hurt, though. A feeling of betrayal that pierces bone-deep and spreads all over.

He’s sick. Depraved. A voice in a dark cranny of your brain whispers, bitter and scared. But these new, scathing adjectives you assign your gege are just as surprising as they are uncertain, because no matter how many times you mentally call him a sick monster, your heart sings a weak song against it.

No. No, he’s not a monster. He’s your Gege.

Maybe you can fix this, somehow.

Maybe… Maybe it was a misunderstanding after all! Some rotten delusion you experienced fueled by the summer heat and the humid haze of late June. Even if it wasn’t- maybe you’d just be content to pretend it was. You’ll seal your little pinky with his and he’ll make a vow to never bring it up again; you’ll accept a lie, even, if he says it never happened to begin with.

You’ll do it. You’ll pretend. The two of you will go back to normal and he’ll leave for Skyhaven and you’ll eventually send in your final admission to the Hunter’s Association. You’ll be accepted in and you’ll forget him. Forget him until he pays his one or two occasional visits during the holidays. By that time, though, you’ll already have gotten your new place and it’ll serve as an excuse to never have to fucking see him again—

You don’t want to see him again.

A little sob escapes you.

You feel sick to your stomach. Nausea churns in your gut like milkfat in a butterbell. You shut your eyes desperately to bat away a flurry of intrusive, bitter thoughts, but it hardly works.

How could he do this to the both of you—?

Could you confide in Gran about this? If you told her, would she find help for Caleb or spank him like old times-? or would she start looking at you with cold, repulsed eyes as if it was your fault?

Is… Is it your fault?

A sequence of knocks sounds at the door.

For how gentle they are, you really shouldn’t flinch so hard.

Your breath hitches. Your fingers curl around your blankets and tighten.

“Y/n,” the voice on the other side of the door is honeyed and low. You note the sadness in it and immediately wish you didn’t as a throbbing sweeps through your chest. “It’s…. It’s me. It’s Caleb,” he sighs out. “W-Will you… let me in?”

Your response is quick. “No,” you say dully, feigning meanness. “I don’t feel well.”

“What’s hurting?” He seamlessly chirps in a light voice, concerned. You’re just thankful he hasn’t tried for the knob yet, despite knowing you’d locked it anyway. “You still have your meds out here… I guess Gran left them for you, huh? Do you want me to bring them to you—“

“Just- go away, Caleb,” you manage to say his name, but it’s in a gritted, forced breath. Something in your heart does a 180 degree twist as the title leaves your mouth. A salty tear rolls in and wets your tongue.

You take a shaky breath in and try to mask your sorrow. That’s near impossible.

“L-Leave me alone.”

A pause.

For a second, you’re almost dumb enough to believe he’s turned around and left.

A palm, large and worried, presses to your bedroom door. “Are you crying? Meimei- let me in, please,” comes his fretting voice. “I need to see you.”

Meimei. The title, once wrapped with affection and warmth, sends a cold chill down your spine. You ought to open that door just to give him a black eye and a wake-up slap to reality. He needs that— and desperately.

A wave of anger, frothy and hot, rides over that feeling of disgust- but just for a moment.

You sit up in bed and sneer at the locked door, “I need you to leave. Go, Caleb! I don’t wanna see you anymore, don’t you get it?!”

It’s a strange thing, how you’re currently blind to his expression but you can clearly imagine it regardless: anguish bunching his brow as his whole face falls. You’ve seen that face before, and now you’re seeing it in your head. It’s paired with a very real, pained sound he makes.

You hate the guilt that hits you, barreling through you at the sound of his strained voice. Growing up, there was always a reason why he called you a cry baby, why Gran told you to guard your heart. Because it’s fucking weak. Prone to your gege.

He leans his full weight against the door. Fists planted there as he hangs his head.

“Don’t say that!” he forces out. “You don’t mean it. Let me come in. I’ll explain to you what happened— a-anything you wanna know. Just…” He pauses for a moment, exasperated.

“I only have three days left to see you. Don’t leave me like this.”

Three days…

You force your eyelids shut. Your nostrils flare.

“Please,” he says, and drives the final nail in the coffin home. Your, coffin.

You’re about to get up from your bed, plastering on a cool face as you prepare to untwist your limbs from your blankets. You drag one leg up from your sheets before a mental image- one you never want to acknowledge as real- stops you in place.

(Meimei, he moans. Meimei meimei meimei, nmmph—)

You stoop your head and cry harder.

“Dammit, sis,” his voice warbles opposite the door. “Let me in, you’re not okay- don’t cry, don’t cry,” he hushes, but you cut off his tender, admittedly effective tries at consolation with a sharp shout.

“Tell me,” you grit. “Tell me you didn’t mean it! That all of it was just some- some- I don’t know! Just tell me it won’t happen again,” you whimper, “That it never did.”

“Please, Gege.”

His reply comes quick. After a loud, shuddering breath that rattles the last of your wellbeing and oozes confidence.

“No,” he says lowly, assured. “It did. It did happen, sis. It’s been happening. You just… didn’t know.”

Revulsion lands a punch to your gut. Direct and vomit-inducing.

“N-No—“

“I’m sorry,” he interjects sadly. A very deep convinction bleeds into his words a second later, though, strengthening them. “I never meant to hurt you. But I don’t regret the way I feel. I love you, Y/n. I love you more than you could ever know. So… let me in. C’mon- Let your Gege see you just one more time, or will you send me back to Skyhaven without so much as a goodbye?”

Furious, you shout for as loud as your frightened throat will allow.

“NO! Leave, Caleb! I don’t wanna see—“

The door makes a sound. It echoes around the four walls of your cozy bedroom and you watch in mute horror as the knob, with the tiny slat lock and all, begins to turn.

Without using his hands, Caleb pushes the door open with his Evol.

He takes a proper moment before stepping in- almost as if preparing himself- something flashing across his face before withering away. You think it takes some piece of him with it.

But when he does take that first stride in, you get the cold, unshakable feeling that he is no longer your Gege, not anymore.

Some monster in him has been fully realized: it’s sloughed its skin- the sweet, doting face of your older brother- like a snake and embraced its scales. It can only crawl on its belly and it only crawls towards you.

(And now, all there’s left to do is place that apple in your hand—)

“It’s gonna be okay, sis. I’m right here. Gran doesn’t have to know. And if she finds out- it doesn’t matter. I’ll take you someplace else. Fly you far away, if I had to—“

“C-Caleb, stop,” as he nears your bedside, you demand your legs to move but they won’t- anchored in place like bags of sand. Tears path down your cheeks and put a chink in his armor; his brooding face faltering.

You know, just between the two of you, growing up, he was always a bit soft, too.

“It’ll be just the two of us and no one’ll lay a hand on you, I pinky promise. I’ll be a pilot within a month and get you anything you could ever dream of,” his quivering lips curl into a smile- a genuine, manic one- as he takes your smaller hand in his own and kisses the back of it.

You try to tug it away to no avail. You suppose he was right, a handful of days ago, saying his muscles weren’t just for decoration. If he wants to overpower you, he can, and that’s a terrifying thought you don’t want to believe in but it’s looking like you might have to grow out of this blind trust you always held for him. It’s looking like there’s no better time to start that than now.

Your lungs heave, “Caleb, what are you—?”

“Remember, when we were younger? you’d called me selfish once or twice,” he chuckles, a light sound. “And you were right, Meimei. I am selfish. But you should take a page from my book sometime, too. I’ll let you, ya know. Just say the word, and—“

Panic taking control of you, you regain feeling in your bones and launch a foot at him.

It’s seized, instantly. Suspended in midair— floating unnaturally without so much as a touch or grab. He’s holding it up, keeping you pinned beneath him, with his gravity manipulation skill and you realize with another sob that you cannot escape your Gege, not in heart and not in body, not ever.

His eyes trail to yours after a thick moment, indigo irises dancing with darkness, impatience, and the smallest beat of hurt. As if this pains him more than you.

What an asshole. A lying, selfish— manipulative asshole.

The sweet, kindhearted boy Gran raised to be your brother—

“Are you… tryin’ to hit me?” he laughs, lifting a deceptively flippant brow. “Hm, that’s alright. I can tell what you’re thinking, Meimei, that you don’t recognize me at all right now, right..?”

His fingers, long and slim, do close around your floating leg, then. They draw your calf to his face and he peppers a chaste kiss to it. It lingers and makes you feel sick— butterflies erupting in your stomach at the way he looks up at you, lashes framing a reverent look that borders on delusional.

Mortification settles when you realize they’re not just the anxious kind, those butterflies: Your body seems to be just as traitorous as the brunette hunched over you.

“But it’s me, Caleb. Your own gege,” you wonder if it’s a scoff, the little breath he looses, or something else, but he appears almost disappointed with himself for a fraction of a second—

Gone.

“So let me take care of you. If you don’t let me now… you’ll just be delaying the inevitable. Might as well just… rip the bandaid off, right? It’ll be okay, just have a little faith in me. I- I can’t keep pretending anymore. But it doesn’t have to end with you crying,” he reasons with furrowed brows, hands descending to pin yours to the bed and entwine your fingers with his. He hovers over you and nuzzles his nose into the crook of your neck, sighing with deep content. It’s a mockery of a lovers’ embrace.

But to Caleb, it’s the real thing.

“I want us to be happy. Just let go, Meimei. Let go and let me take care of you. I… always have, haven’t I?” He murmurs, lips planting a kiss- the first of many- to the thumping column of your throat.

(—All there’s left to do is place that apple in your hand, and watch you take the bite.)

[mysticmoosenger]

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 𝕗****𝕕 𝕦𝕡 ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

𝐫𝐢𝐩 𝐦𝐲 𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐫𝐭, 𝐤𝐢𝐬𝐬 𝐦𝐲 𝐧𝐞𝐜𝐤, 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐰 𝐦𝐞 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐫 𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐦𝐞 𝐬𝐰𝐞𝐚𝐭…

synopsis: deciding to ask choso to switch roles!

themes: sub!choso, dom!reader, orgasm denial, edging, nicknames, begging, reader is evil, choso is just a little guy

characters: choso <3 love my boy and hate gege

a/n: hi very happy to be back, excited to write more. everything i’ve written previously is deleted from my page bc i want to start fresh haha. college is destroying my hopes and dreams rn. also, i didnt proofread this like at all and its 4am, so just like, ignore my fuck ups please ily

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・.

●・○・●・○・●

choso! ur a super freak!

He wont show it, but he is already cumming at the thought of it. He is 110% a switch, but has been taking the dominant role since you seemed so sweet and eager to let him use you to do whatever he pleased.

“baby, I dont know how you feel about it and maybe it’s weird for me to say but… do you mind if I take the lead a little?”

That caught him off guard. Like totally off guard. As he was taking off your shirt his hands froze and his assault on your neck paused, He blinked a few times and asked to make sure thats really what he heard, “…you mean like, you want to be dominant?”

You shyly nod and continue to run your hands through the hair at the nape of his neck, his signature buns starting to unravel, somehow making him even hotter. God, you wanted to eat him alive.

After a few more seconds of processing, he quietly responds, “…yes love”

You feel him slowly kiss the marks he left you on your collarbone, his hands now gently reaching to remove your shirt. As he goes to lift it over your head, he moves back to allow you some space to wriggle the tight material past your shoulders. You catch a glimpse of his face right as he backs up, his face a bright red and his eyes looking glossy, he looks perfectly pitiful. Wow… you never realized how badly you have wanted to do this.

You manage to free yourself from your constricting top, taking off your bra as well. Choso watches you, his eyes following your every move, scanning your body. It’s obvious how down bad this poor boy is for you. You had never expected him to be this eager about switching roles.

The upper half of your clothing now gone, the red LED lights around the border of Choso’s room making your skin look flawless and irresistible. You swear you can see the poor boy drooling over you, waiting for you to order him around, use him, and make him a sobbing mess. He’s sitting in front of you on the bed, his hands tentatively resting on your thighs, staring at you with those sleepy dark eyes. He still had a bit of eyeliner on from earlier in the day, now starting to smudge and give him adorable tear stains. “okay cho… please strip for me baby”, you coo, wanting to mark up that broad muscular chest of his.

He slips his black compression tee over his head in one fluid motion, exposing his perfect abs and those sexy tattoos trailing down them leading to his hips. He stops and begins to run his hands from your waist to your tits, awaiting more instruction, already beet red and breathing fast. His heart is beating so fast that it starts to make him dizzy with lust. “I said strip cho. everything. be a good boy for me okay?”

You have never seen your man this worked up in the entirety of your relationship before. He moves at what seems like lightening speed, tearing off his pants, looking at you for approval as you nod for him to take off his boxers too. His dick springs out with possibly the hardest and angriest boner you’ve ever seen. You motion with your head for him to lay down, crawling on top of him and hovering your clothed pussy over his dripping dick. His eyes begging you to fuck him, he begins to snake his hands around your hips, trying to get you to at least touch him. “no cho, hands up by the headboard.” you say, pulling his wrists together and pinning them above his head. “if you move them I’m not letting you cum today.”

Choso nods immediately, knowing that he’d rather die than not be allowed to finish tonight. You make eye contact and slowly dip down to meet his lips with yours, your hand sliding down his arm from his wrists, gently caressing his muscular tattooed biceps. “you belong to me, got it cho?” you purr against his lips. He lets out an erotic whimper in response, which honestly takes both of you by surprise. You pause and let it replay in your head a few times before saying, “I’m totally breaking you tonight. how did I never know you had such a cute little submissive side?”

You move your hand to gently squeeze his throat and rejoin his lips, tongue grazing gently along his lips, his occasionally meeting yours. And while Choso has a submissive side, he’s still freaky. As you move to pull away, he nips at your bottom lip, making you moan in response, “god I love you.”

You begin to move down his body, leaving little nips and kisses on the way to his beautiful abs. You glance up at his flustered face as you start to fill the gaps between his tattoos with little hickies to mark your territory. “no one else is allowed to see you like this, alright cho? mmmm fuck, no one..” you moan against his skin. You love the idea of your love bites being shown off in his weekly gym pictures.

Choso is squirming, overwhelmed at the sensation of you kissing by his v-line. “..mmm pl-please y/n… ohmygo-d yes pleaseee…” he rambles, his eyes squeezing shut and his eyeliner now officially all over his cheeks, complimenting the long tattoo over the center of his nose. His hair has almost completely fallen out of his buns, now tangled and fanned out around his face. He really does look angelic. And pitiful. You just want to ruin him.

“please what baby? please stop? its too much and i should stop?” you tease as you reduce your love bites to feathered kisses, barely touching his skin. “n-nooo please no i w-want mmore~ please baby y/n p-pleas- oh my go- god fuck!” he begs, his mouth agape and his hips writhing to try to get any pressure remotely to his dick.

You decide that since he has been so good (and you just want to make him a whimpering mess) he deserves a little treat. Your lips ghost down his thigh and to his balls, placing a gentle kiss to them. You quickly suck on your fingers to give them some lube while making sure Choso has a good view, and begin to stroke his shaft. With the way Choso is moaning, you speed up your movements, twirling your fingers over his angry, dripping tip and the end of every motion. Your other arm wraps around one of his thighs, doing your best to pin him in place. His hand slid down sneakily to rest atop your head, lacing his fingers through your hair. Your tongue found a sweet spot towards the base of his balls, eliciting a loud “FUCK oh my- fuck y-yes y/n there!” You continue stroking him and swirling your tongue against his sensitive spots until he is shaking, his hips desperately attempting to buck upwards. Right as he is about to finish, you remove your hands and sit back, away from his cock.

You smile, taking in the gorgeous sight before you. Choso is breathing in loud pants, whimpering and shaking from the abrupt stop of the stimulation. His eyes are teary, his makeup smeared, and his lips are glossy from your kisses. Trailing down, there is a line of love bites leading to his tattoos. His lower abdomen is drenched in slick precum. “baby please p-please keep going~” he begs in between pants.

You giggle slightly sadistically and gently run your fingertips around his v-line and base of his dick. Moving your head up, you give him a sloppy kiss, again inciting cute whimpers from his throat. “cho love, you remember what I said earlier about your hands? Dont think I didnt notice baby…”

Choso lets out a loud moan in protest, begging you for a second chance.

Luckily for him…. the clock just hit midnight.

ending a/n: thank u for reading!! please send in requests my asks are open! or just talk to me!! love u guys and im so excited to be back! :)

[valentine-cafe]

~Scrolling through the request roster to see who needs to get their brains fucked out some love~

Let's see, some mango pancakes sound good! I've got some thoughts about tying Haitao up and blindfolding him, then absolutely spoiling him without letting him come.

Maybe, if he's really good, his partner will let him suck on their fingers while they fuck him :3c

. ˚◞♡ bttm grim reaper boyfriend x top male reader ꒰ the instigator reaper ꒱◞ ₊˚

⊹ ۪ ࣪ ᥫ᭡ haitao 9948e / male reader ꒱ you decide it would be a wonderful idea to bound and edge your boyfriend

𖹭. content warnings◞  explicit content .  penetrative sex . edging . hand job . 0.4k

𖹭. receipts◞  anon you are an absolute godsend with these requests<3

. ˚◞ ꒰ 🍰 𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒌𝒔 ꒱ m.list . guidelines . characters . lorebook ⊹ ۪ ࣪ 

“— mhnhgh— plea-ah, hnhghah! ple— pleaseplease-”

oh his sweet begs. the way his cock leaks with pre-cum. the pearly white droplets rolling down your hand and wrist.

“the sensory depravation too much for you hm?” you comment with a croon, hand pumping at his cock just a bit more than last time. there is no mercy from you. let your boyfriend cum? absolutely not. you want to hear all the pathetic noises he makes in his blindfolded state.

feeling all of you so much more — the sensations he receives. the eyes that look down, at the reaper beneath them. they wish to see every little change and shift in his body language and face.

“f-feel so good— g-nngh! death, c-can’t— need to—”

“cum hm? what a shame.”

your comment strikes into his tummy, tears dampening the fabric of the blindfold while his mouth opens and closes at the feel of your slow paced thrusts inside him. a moan ripping out of his lungs as his climax is once more stolen away into the night by your skilled hands.

“filthy little whore. look at how you writhe for me— oh” with a tut and chuckle, you lean closer to him and speak the rest of your words. “so pretty, doing so well. aren’t you taking it so well hm? pretty little slut.”

with a weak grip on you, the man drags his nails down your back, following the action with a pathetic whine and an attempt to buck his hips.

“ah-ah. no bucking pretty.” you whisper roughly into his ear, speeding up to watch him get closer and closer, until you slow once again. this time, silencing his cries by pressing two digits down onto his tongue and fucking his mouth with them.

he doesn’t mind one bit, the feeling pushes him over the edge. to your surprise.

You watch the man splutter, eyebrows raise. while a small choked moan escapes him. that doesn’t stop you from continuing. if he can’t take the edging, he’ll take the overstimulation.

so you begin to fuck into him quicker, with shallow and rough pumps. cock spluttering and painting his insides white. while your other hand comes to thumb the slit of his cock and rub all of his cum around his throbbing, poor dick.

“g-gn h! ah! — plea-please— gege— ge-gege-ge!” he moans, but takes all that you give him oh so greedily.

𖹭. taglist◞ wanna join the taglist? fill out this form

𖹭. remember◞ you make a writer's day every time you like, reblog and/or comment on their piece. if you enjoyed my work, please considering doing so<3

. ˚◞ ꒰ 🍰 𝒑𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒔𝒆 𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒔𝒊𝒅𝒆𝒓 𝒔𝒖𝒑𝒑𝒐𝒓𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒖𝒔 ꒱ tip jar . masterist ⊹ ۪ ࣪

[bgomtori]

☆ colours - c.bg

synopsis - despite everything you two have been through, all good things must come to an end right?

-> beomgyu x reader

-> listen to colors by halsey for an experience 🤍

-> friends to potential lovers to acquintances, highschool au

-> warnings! beomgyu pushes reader away, angst, talks on mental illness and eating disorders, yn becomes an insomniac, beomgyu's a year older than you

-> notes! i've gotten back into jjk for the 7th time, and i saw like 3 edits abt stsg to the song colors, so i just wanted to LET IT OUT. GEGE AKUTAMI WATCH OUT

love is the most twisted curse of them all

tired eyes scanning through the folder of memories on your phone, your head dipping into the fluffy cushions underneath you. you didn't want to go through it again, but you couldn't stop your fingers from moving. your eyes watered, tears dripping from the corner. this was at least your 50th time rereading past messages, past folders, and old voicemails you had with choi beomgyu

choi beomgyu, the man that he was. talented, charming, and pretty. he was constantly bombarded with the squeels from your schoolmates along the hallways. however, he would always stick to you like glue, to him, you were everything he wanted. what a trope, maybe opposites do attract.

he was the light to your darkness, even if he stuck onto you like a emotionally attached puppy, you appreciated his presence. as much as you wanted to ignore his pestering, you enjoyed it, too much, to the point where your heart starts beating rapidly whenever he's around.

"ynn, let's go to the arcade after school. you don't have anything after right? let's go." the way he drags his words to persuade you into doing something he wants to do with you, and how your name rolling off his tongue perfectly, has an effect on you. his arms leaned on your desk, giving you puppy dog eyes.

"beomgyu, we have a test next week, i can't just waste my time playing games with you." you closed your textbook, placing your pen back into your pencilcase, making eye contact with beomgyu.

"come onn, you've been studying so much this entire week, you've barely hung out with me." beomgyu whined, using the tip of his shoes to kick your shins.

"beomgyu. this test is important for my final grade." you firmly stated your point, hoping that it'll get through beomgyu's thick skull. you sigh when beomgyu continues to look at you with the same puppy eyes, your words going deaf to his ears.

"fine.." you muttered out, you could have sworn that you saw beomgyu's eyes sparkle when you said that. he jumped out of the random chair he stole from the person who sat infront of you.

"i'll wait for you outside your class! see you!" beomgyu beamed, messing your hair before skipping out of the class like a lunatic. you watched as he left your class, smiling to yourself.

"are you giggling over choi beomgyu like everyone else?" your tablemate, natty, commented. knowing the teasing glint she had in her eyes, you glared at her.

"shut up."

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁

"i'm graduating in a month, will you miss me?" beomgyu smirked, biting on the straw of his drink. you took small bites out of the bread beomgyu got for you, giving him a disgusted glare.

"what's with that look." beomgyu gasped, swinging his arm around your shoulder, pulling you closer to him. the side of your body was completely squished against him, you could feel your heart about to jump out of your throat. he was too close, too close for your liking.

"i'm going to miss my favourite junior ever, you know that right? you're my favourite junior, no one can ever compare to you." beomgyu reminded you, your lips pursed into a line, pushing his body away from yours.

"don't you have other juniors to care about? why me?" you asked, your eyes not leaving his own round ones.

"isn't it obvious.." he mumbled, not loud enough for you to hear.

"huh? speak up."

"it's nothing! come on hurry, i have a new song to play for you on the guitar." beomgyu grabbed your hand, running towards the direction of his house. you screeched as he pulled you at a speed you were not ready for. you felt like you were running a track competition at this point, just how much stamina does choi beomgyu have?

your head was dizzy, you haven't ran in such a long time at a distance you don't even want to remember. the click of beomgyu's door caused your head to look up from your phone.

"sorry for making you run, i was just excited." beomgyu apologised, placing a plate of fruits and a cup of water on the floor, finding himself on the floor beside you.

"it's fine." you shook your head, poking the fruits on the plate, not having an appetite for them. beomgyu noticed your odd behaviour throughout your entire conversation with him, from the way you just took small bites of the fruits and taking huge gulps of water.

"have you been eating these days?" the sudden question had you panicking, is he always this observant? your eyes darted around his room.

"i ate the bread earlier, doesn't that answer your question?" you replied non-chalantly.

"i meant like proper meals, when was the last time you have eaten an actual meal?" his face has gotten serious, you thought to yourself, your nails dug into the flesh of your thigh, trying to think of a plausible answer.

"i can read you like a book yn, you can't lie to me." beomgyu sighs, his hands reaching out for yours, pulling them away from your thighs.

"i know i'm always not serious around you, but this has to stop soon okay? don't starve yourself, it's unhealthy, and i'm worried for you okay?" beomgyu carressed the knuckles of your fingers. slowly, you calmed yourself down from the unsettling thoughts that were eating you alive, smiling at beomgyu,

"i'm sorry, i'll stop. i don't like seeing you all worried because of me."

beomgyu's lipped tugged up into a smile, standing up, "i'll make something for you to eat, wait here."

from that day on, you knew you could rely on beomgyu with whatever problems you had. he's your best friend either way, opening up to him was easy. he was your solution to everything.

that was until a week before beomgyu's graduation, you've noticed that his radiant aura was turning dull, his eyes slowly getting more tired by the time. despite that, he has been wearing a fake smile around his batchmates, smiling whenever he was with them, returning the same energy they were giving him. your eyes squinted at his odd behaviour, you too, could read him like a book.

"you're not actually that optimistic right?" you stated, trailing behind beomgyu. beomgyu paused in his tracks, turning to face you.

"what are you talking about yn?"

"you know what i'm talking about. if you need it, i'm here to help you." you inched closer to beomgyu.

"please, if you're hurting let me help you too. let me return that favour. isn't that what friends are for?" you gagged at your words, friends? of course. you two were just friends, nothing more.

"aren't you cute? don't worry about it yn, i'll tell you everything soon." beomgyu patted your cheeks, waving a quick goodbye to you before disappearing into his classroom. you stared at the empty spot infront of you, why isn't he telling you anything after everything? didn't he tell you that he trusted you with all his life, if not, why isn't he opening up to you?

you bit your lips, trying to suppress the tears that were about to flow out. you groaned, walking back to your class as if nothing happened, but your mind was overthinking, again.

what you failed to notice was that beomgyu was watching you from the window of his class, his heart ached seeing your pained expression. he then felt a tug on his sleeve.

"when are you going to tell her?" seungmin whispered, his eyes watching beomgyu's actions carefully.

"soon enough."

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁

it was finally the day every senior had been dreading or anticipating. you stayed back after school to watch the ceremony, in hopes of seeing your seniors for one last time before they leave, including choi beomgyu.

you felt so proud for him, he's finally done with this hell, and now he can follow his dreams. however, you couldn't escape the feeling of emptiness, without him, what were you? ever since he started distancing himself from you, you felt horrible, you felt like shit.

before you knew it, the ceremony was over, the crowd screamed in joy, running to find their best friends in the crowd. you did the same, dashing to where beomgyu might be at. you hated running, but in order to talk to him in school one last time, you ran as fast as you could.

finally, you found him, your eyes watched as he took multiple pictures with the girls from his batch and yours. your face fell as you realise that the crowd practically engulfed him, you probably wouldn't have enough time to have a decent conversation with him.

however, your eyes met his, your body tensed up, he looked exhausted, yet he was still able to flash you a cute smile that you reciprocated. he signalled you to go towards him, telling the crowd that he needed to leave soon, and that was when you walked towards him.

"congrats on graduating." you hugged him, feeling his body slowly soften under your touch.

"lovebirds, wanna take a picture together?" seungmin shouted, his hand stretched out, asking for your phones. both you and beomgyu handed him your phones. seungmin smirked, snapping numerous shots for the two of you.

when he returned your phones, he whispered something in beomgyu's ear, causing him to blush and yell at him to shut up.

"don't mind him. come with me, i have something to tell you." beomgyu shoved his phone back into his pocket, dragging to towards a familiar direction.

the walk was comforting, you talked about everything that came to mind. beomgyu stared as you rambled, watching you as if you hung the stars in the sky, you were stunning.

"sorry, was i saying too much?" you mumbled, sitting beside beomgyu on a bench at the park where you first met. beomgyu shook his head.

"i like hearing you talk don't worry." reassuring you.

"what did you want to tell me anyways?"

"before that, take this, i want you to cherish this forever, as if your life depends on it okay?" beomgyu pulled out a ring, placing it on your pinky. your heart raced, the butterflies in your stomach turned into a whole zoo, your face felt warm.

"what for..?"

"i'm leaving daegu to pursue my dreams, i may not be able to see any of you again, so i just want you to have this as a reminder of me." beomgyu suddenly announced. your eyes widened, a lump formed in your throat, leaving your mouth dry.

"what are you saying? can't you at least keep in contact with me? that's stupid, you can't just cut everyone out of your life like that." you argued, biting back the tears that were watering your eyes.

"you're making this harder for me." beomgyu laughed, "you'll distract me from achieving what i want, my priority isn't you."

you were smacked with the hard truth, beomgyu was more determined to pursue his lifelong dream, and in order to do this, he has to let go of one of his dreams, and that dream was to be with you forever. your goals were completely different, you would only hinder his progress towards success. your eyes stung with tears, it hurts.

"gyu, you can't do this, maybe we can figure something out?" you pleaded, you couldn't live without him by your side. beomgyu wiped your tears with his thumb, making you look at him.

"you know i love you right? if you love me back, promise me that you'll let me go." beomgyu forced a smile, trying to calm you down.

"you? what? why didn't you tell me this earlier? we could have spent more time together as a couple." your voice was shaky, you wanted to leave, but you wanted to stay by his side till the end.

"yea i could have, but i guess i was too scared, so were you though." beomgyu shrugged, laughing dryly to himself. he hated this, he hated the fact that you were crying because of him, he hated that he can't do anything to stop you from crying. beomgyu watched you sobbed, his eyes beginning to sting, but he blinked the tears away.

"this is just a bad dream right?" you looked at beomgyu. beomgyu held your hand, shaking his head slowly, your eyes tearing up once more.

"sometimes love can be the most twisted curse of them all." beomgyu chuckled, looking off to the side.

"then at least curse me a little at the end." you hiccupped. beomgyu's eyes widened, softening once he made eye contact with you. he pulled you into a kiss filled with longing and desperation. you were quick to kiss him back, you didn't want this to end, you wanted him to stay by your side forever. you slowly pulled away from him, wiping off the dried up tears from your face. beomgyu took your pinky, intertwining them with his,

"i'll go now, take care of yourself for me okay? please eat well." beomgyu kissed your lips once before walking away from you. leaving you to cry by yourself on the bench, at the park where you first met, and now you've ended it at the same spot.

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁

bonus!

beomgyu started sobbing when he walked away from you. you must have endured so much pain when he left you in the dark for so long. his first love, a love where it could have blossomed into something more than friends, crumbling down like that. he hated himself for that, he hated seeing you hurt, but you would still suffer the same fate if you stayed by his side. thus he made his decision that week prior to his graduation.

perm taglist! (send an ask to be added) @mrsyawnzzn @tinyelfperson @woncheecks @boba-beom @naveries @be-argyu @defnotleee

[ducklingpia]

⋆˙⟡ 𝐌𝐲 𝐟𝐮𝐥𝐥 𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐳𝐞 & 𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐲𝐬𝐢𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐂𝐚𝐥𝐞𝐛’𝐬 𝐒𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐲𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐞 🍎⋆˙⟡

ℋℯ𝓁𝓁ℴ 𝒟𝒶𝓇𝓁𝒾𝓃𝑔⟡ ݁₊ . (Charlotte Tilbury's voice) After I read all of his content, I have been thinking about this man the concerning amount at this rate. So instead of letting them float around and occupy my rotting brain to the point of insanity,I decided to write this full summary of Caleb’s story in chronological order. Main reason is to put all my thoughts out of my brain and let them rest. But also- for the people who don’t have all of his cards I hope this can help you understand him a little bit better.

Words count: 16k (This is like a whole damn fic I’M SO SORRY)

Notes: I’m giving credit to @slimepuparibaba because I’ll be following their present & alternate timeline based on this post. Thank you so much for the guideline.

Warning: spoilers of all caleb’s content in game so far (Main story,anecdote, tender moments, secret times, Standard myth memory, Standard 5 stars card memories,Limited 5 stars memory, Affinity phone calls and messages ) although I’ll try to be as vague as possible and focus on my interpretations more than the details in each content.

I will separate his storyline into 3 sections : Past timeline, Current Timeline, Alternate/future Timeline 

Let's go ദ്ദി(˵ •̀ ᴗ - ˵ ) ✧

── .✦ 𝑷𝒂𝒔𝒕 𝑻𝒊𝒎𝒆𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒆

Content featured: Some flashbacks in main story, Standard Myth, 4 star cards Tender moments (Borrowed Promise,Summer’s Echo, Longtime Yesterday, Stage Observer, Skyline, Verified Rumors), Anecdote (Pathless realm),Bond memory (Rain’s Embrace), Secret Times(Solace)

─ .✦ So here’s the thing, please correct me if i’m wrong but from my understanding - Only the events that happen in Main-story, World underneath, Anecdotes, and maybe bond memories are considered ‘main timeline’ meaning whoever you chose to romance, these events are still happening in your universe. Usually we consider the 4 star/ 5 star memories to be an alternate timeline for each guy, right?

but for Caleb it’s a different story. all of his 4 star cards that will be mentioned in this section were happening in the past. all of them have “old days:_____” written on them.

What does it mean is that - these events are not an alternate timeline. All these memories will still be happening no matter whether you choose to romance Caleb or not.

whoever your Li is, you still grow up with Caleb and experience these memories the same way. These memories had shaped MC to be the woman she grew up to be at the current timeline. If we keep this in mind then we will see their dynamic in a deeper perspective.

Flashbacks from childhood

─ .✦ Let's start with his villain's origin story. There are several flashbacks about mc’s relationship with Caleb throughout a lot of the content. I can’t remember in specific details which information came from which content. but here are what I can randomly gathered so far

Caleb also was an experiment test subject from the same lab as MC. We don't know since when but from his anecdote we know that he has been experimenting on up until 9- 10 years old

He possessed an ability to use his Evol from a young age. It has been hinted that he’ll become a force comparable to a black hole given time. Not even light could escape it.

I’m not sure when the first time the 2 of them met. Could it be in the lap? could it be after the First Wanderer attack? could they meet after grandma adopted them? . One thing for sure is that Caleb fell in love with MC the moment she held his hand for the first time. He immediately positioned himself in a role of “older brother” (Gege,Nii-chan, Oppa) in order to protect & take care of his new found-Family. They grow up together under the same roof.

It has been said that MC lost a lot of her memories during childhood. she went into a deep ‘fever’ and kinda reset herself every time she came back to normal. She forgot the time she met Rafayel at the beach, she forgot Caleb as well.

This probably happened several times - and every time she forgot about him, Caleb will introduces himself the same way “I’m your (gege,Nii-chan,Oppa) I’ll always be by your side”

Both went through the same traumatic event. What makes Caleb different from MC is - He does not forget. He remembers the time he has been in the lab. I strongly believe this has an effect on him psychologically when he grows up.

there’re also multiple call-back in small details that Caleb has been taking care of her all the time growing up. He himself probably formed his own identity as somebody who always be MC’s protector.

4 star card Tender moments: Borrowed Promise

─ .✦ This is the first time- skip we see MC and Caleb. The memory happened in her high school days. It’s a random summer day where Caleb dragged MC out to the park. The very first thing that I can see so clearly in this card is - He spoiled her ROTTEN. And he does it so naturally, like breathing. The amount of care & attentiveness that he has for her lowkey gives me whiplash since I just finished the main story the day before. This is the old version Caleb that grew up with MC- the one she always relied on. in here it already shows a hint of romantic feeling Caleb has for her when she talks about her “friend”

Another thing is, if we take a second to think about it. Caleb in this card was probably in high school as well. and to think a boy at  this age acting like him is something so unusual. Made me kinda wonder how much he has to grow up so fast and be such a responsible ‘brother’ figure for her without having his own childhood.

4 star card Tender moments: Summer’s Echo

─.✦ Another fluffy card that shows more of Caleb’s softer side. He’s already in college here. Again, we can see HOW MUCH he spoiled her. every little thing that he does for her so naturally.He’s dotting on her to the max, MC seems to be used to it tho. It also mentions how Caleb fulfilled MC’s every wish and desire growing up. whatever she wants he will get it for her

Anecdote (Pathless Realm)

─.✦ The Anecdote shows his time when he was a pilot student in college at Skyheaven. We have a glimpse of Caleb’s other side. We also get to know more about the reason why he became a pilot (spoiler alert: MC) .

There are few important points that I wanna yap about in this one

1. his low-scored psychological test, one of his answers in the test

2. when he went to that test where he flew into the deep space tunnel and flew out of the designated path. Not sure if he did that on purpose? Maybe it was an accident

There's an underlying issue here, Caleb seems to have lost the fear of death. It’s like he’s numb to it. For a human to lack this instinct which is the most important fear we should have for survival. He lost it a long time ago. Do you realize how much he had to go through in his childhood to no longer feel afraid of death? 

At his very last moment before he lost consciousness in the deepspace tunnel - going back to MC is the only reason for him to stay alive and survive that incident.

Bond memory (Rain’s Embrace)

─.✦ On this one we see more of his ✨Yandere ✨ side peeking through a bit. MC was already in college. I think from this moment MC starts to grow more onto her own self and starts to seek her own independence

There’s a guilt in him where he accidentally locked MC up in the attic all night when they were kids. He probably thought that MC forgot about it but she doesn’t. He probably felt so bad about it that he was the reason that made MC cry. He also swore to never lock her up again (well….)

Caleb also accepts in here that it’s not MC who’s not capable enough to protect herself, it’s him who’s not ready to accept that he’s not needed anymore + seeing that MC is still scared of loud thunder and covered in fear in his arms. Caleb asks to be the one to ‘protect’ her one last time from the storms.

4 star card Tender moments: Longtime yesterday

─.✦ This memory happened at MC last summer break before her graduation. Caleb took her to visit his former teacher from the Aerospace Academy. More moments of Caleb taking care of MC like a princess here (why can’t this be meee 😩). And more obvious hints of his feelings for MC. The way he uses her belonging as an excuse to keep other girls away from him is so 🤌🏻

4 star card Tender moments: Stage Observer

─.✦ Ok so this memory finally affirms my sus. Both of them obviously have an underlying romantic feeling for each other at this point dude. Can’t deny it. MC found a cute ass letter in Caleb’s dorm and went 58 steps to make him tell her who the girl is. The way MC reacts to Caleb potentially having a girlfriend is nowhere near platonic. She also kisses his cheek in front of the whole ceremony (poor dude was short-circuiting for a whole minute).

His graduation speech was basically a proposal to MC. Caleb is giving MC a little more hint with what he feels about her. But at this point both of them are still scared to cross the line.

4 star card Tender moments: Skyline

─.✦ MC went to Caleb’s workplace in Skyhaven before her hunter qualification exam. He shows her around, taking her to see different airplanes. They reminisce about when they were kids, when Caleb took her to watch the Airplane for the first time. The fact that he remembers every detail about that day made me wanna cry bro.

Another card where Caleb lowkey confesses to MC.When MC told him that she wanna be his ‘childhood friend’ in the next life He legit told her  ‘What if I don’t wanna be your childhood friend anymore?’

With the EN localization I’m pretty sure we can just replace ‘the childhood friend’ to ‘gege/nii-chan/oppa’. so basically he asked her ‘What if I don’t wanna be just your gege anymore?’ what if I wanna be more than that?.

Although he tryna make it more lighthearted by saying he wanna be a seagull instead. MC’s response after this is really obvious that she knows.

Secret times (Solace)

─.✦ In my opinion this Secret time is happening in the past. there’re a lot of contexts in the dialect hinting that they were still living together. It’s basically a period ASMR that every Li has. Again, The way he took care of her & coddled her is making me so freaking emotional. 

4 star card Dynamic Date: Verified Rumors

─.✦ This card is not available yet since it’s the reward from 10 days with you log-in event. But judging from the artwork I assumed that this memory is from the past timeline.

── .✦ 𝑪𝒖𝒓𝒓𝒆𝒏𝒕 𝑻𝒊𝒎𝒆𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒆

Content featured: Main story (Under Deepspace Chapter 4, Homecoming Wings), 5 star standard memories (Endless Summer, Exclusive Aftertaste), Standard Myth (Lucid Dream)

Main Story (Under Deepspace Chp.4)

─.✦ well, the kaboom chapter. many ppls speculated that Caleb knew about the explosion all along. I personally disagree. I think he’s just the victim like grandma & MC

Most of us players met Caleb the first time in this chapter so we might not feel the effect it has on MC much. But if you go back and experience all the content I listed above then come back to this chapter again, it really hits different….

Main Story (Homecoming Wings)

─.✦ Well, so many things happen and hit all of us like a truck in these 2 chapters. Let's hold each-others hands and recap some important information for a bit shall we?

Caleb got saved from the explosion, I assumed it was by that same professor that adopted Kevi.

It implied that he lost his arm from the explosion. They replaced his arm with a mechanical arm and put that zombie chip into his body as ‘the price’ for him being brought back to life

He created a new identity by being a colonel from the farspace fleet. Doing some kind of secret mission that involved putting a zombie chip onto everybody in the fleet.

The whole purpose of that Processor however, is still unclear. whether he wants to create a ‘perfect’ weapon or wants to help EVER do something. all of them seem to involve using MC’s Aether core power

I guess that somewhere along the way, Caleb found out about this. So he has no choice but to play both sides. There’s no way he’ll let these people touch the love of his life. But he also has to do what these people told him to, otherwise they will throw him away and ‘abandon’ him like what he said to us. in order to protect her he needs this power.

The problem is that- MC suddenly comes back to his life. now at the worst time possible. I think with all the traumas he had gone through so far+ the effect of the zombie chip, his behavior starts to change.

All crazy stuff happened and then MC found out all the things that he’s done behind her back. MC kinda realizes that this is not Caleb she used to know anymore.

They part ways not on a good term. There is some bitterness lingering between them. At this point, MC (player) has to decide whether she will continue to rebuild the relationship with the most important person in her life or move on from him.

5 Star card: Endless Summer

─.✦ From now on, starting with this memory, some people might consider this card to be an alternate reality if you chose to romance Caleb. But since the story is still pretty much about their reunion and they’re really awkward (although it’s so obvious what Caleb feels about MC) with each other. I will still count this as a main timeline event. In this card you can see Caleb being unsure if he should come back into her life. MC also feels some resentment for him after 2 weeks have passed in the main story. His Yearning for her is so strong in the kindle scene tho. the sadness, the hurt, the longing. Sooo yummy 🤤

5 Star card: Exclusive Aftertaste

─.✦ Another episode of their reunion arc. Caleb takes a visit to Linkon and MC sees him. Again in this one you can consider it as an alternate timeline already since some of their interaction starts to become a little bit romance-forward.

Caleb is still unsure about his place in MC’s life. MC is also unsure whether to let him back in fully.

At the end she gave him her apartment’s key and told him to visit her anytime he wanted to.

5 Star pair cards: Standard Myth (Lucid dream)

─.✦ This is so important. The myth story explains further about Caleb’s motive at his current position in the main timeline. It explores deeper into his lore and his back story with MC back when they were kids. MC received a special mission with the farspace fleet and went back to Skyheaven. Their relationship is a lot better here. But when we remember that this is still Love and depression myth. it gets dark and freaking sad real quick. I cried when I finish this Myth ngl

one thing I realize after reading this myth tho. MC. IS. CRAZY. ok? Sometimes we players kinda forgot that this girlie pop is lowkey sick in the head. what she did to herself in this myth is beyond me. Anyway we got more information about that damn zombie chip and reasons why Caleb didn’t really get affected by it like other dudes in the fleet (it’s the power of love everyone….I’m kidding)

We also got the first kiss mentioned in the story… yeah, they kissed already.Not directly on the lips but still…  but the situation and the whole context of it were so damn depressing. At the end both of them silently agreed to forget about it.

── .✦ 𝑭𝒖𝒕𝒖𝒓𝒆/𝑨𝒍𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒏𝒂𝒕𝒆 𝑻𝒊𝒎𝒆𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒆

Content featured: 5 star standard memories (Hidden Waves), 5 star limited memory (Painful Signal),4 star card Tender moments (Longtime Moments), Linkon New Year event Chapters, 4 star card dynamic date (Intertwined gold)

─.✦ From this part forward we are in the alternate / future timeline with Caleb - all of these will happen if you choose to romance him.

5 star card: Hidden Waves

─.✦ hands down my favorite 5 star card of Caleb. This happens after the event in his Myth story. MC visited skyhaven to see him and they had an argument. Caleb got sick & MC butting heads with him to let her take care of him. Caleb is being overprotective as usual & MC being stubborn as usual. they match each other’s freak tbh. after reading what they’ve done in the myth story I’m kinda done with these 2 lol.

In this card it really shows how much Caleb had been holding on to this ‘reliable presence’ to MC. All his life he has always been the one MC can relied on to the point that he refuses to let her see his weaker side. It's kinda sad.

Mc starts to take more initiative towards him in this. I really love the animation in the kindle scene. His facial expressions are so full of emotions. The whole story feels really intimate & domestic.

5 Star limited card: Painful Signal

─.✦ The debut of his mechanical arm. Their dynamic in this card is way more playful & intimate. the ways they act around each other are more like when they were in the past timeline now.

That graveyard scene where he took a selfie with his own grave? Iconic. peak Gemini energy. We also met his REAL sidekick (not that snake man thank god) , his old colleague from the Aerospace Academy. But remember this is love and deepspace. It took a different turn real quick.

Basically MC found out about his robot arm. It kinda hinted again how much this man has to endure all this time.

4 star card Tender moments: Longtime Moments

─.✦ In this memory I can see the shifts in their dynamic more. they’re a bit more flirty. The elevator scene had me curling my toes and giggling like a teenager. With MC coming to terms that her old version of Caleb is transforming into a different man in her eyes now. Caleb also starts to accept MC’s ability to fight alongside him also. They fought alongside and made a really good team together.

Linkon New Year Event Chapters + Intertwined goal 4 star card Dynamic date

─.✦ Since all the Event chapters haven't been unlocked yet. We don’t know the full story but from what I’ve read so far, they went on the fighting shenanigans together. Their relationship is more smooth. In the dynamic date it took a full on romance route now. with how close they already were compared to other Lis from the beginning. Their interaction feels really cozy and domestic here.This is where the relationship really shifted for real I feel. Caleb finally confesses, MC also confesses, they almost kiss. Life is good again ☁️🕊️👼🪽

✧₊⁺ In conclusion:

─.✦ I had a big ass crush the moment I met Caleb in chapter 4 before he got kaboom and gone. then got completely swept off my feets by Rafayel. The moment I found that he will be back as a new li again,I opened a new account preparing for him immediately (back in late November). So when he’s out I was able to get all of his content the very first day. but I made a mistake (like 99% of us) by going straight to the main story without checking out his 4 star memories first. safe to say that I finished the chapters with such a bitter taste in my mouth. I had to take a break from him the next day. At some point I even regretted making an account for him. But I decided to give him a chance and read all of his content bit by bit. I re-read his main story chapter again as well.

Now that I complete all of his contents, my feelings toward him have completely changed. He went from being at the bottom of my tier list when I finished the main story to now breathing at Rafayel’s neck and ready to snatch me away.

I just hope this post can persuade those of you who are still unsure about this man. If you feel put off by him after reading the main story but still wanna give him a chance, I highly recommend starting from 

his 4 star cards in the past timeline. you can get them in the wishing well shop. they’re relatively cheap. or you can watch them on youtube.

Read his anecdote

If you can, I recommend pulling at least one of his myth pairs. You can unlock the full story in the special event for a limited time even if you have only 1 of them. or again, you can watch them on youtube.

I also wrote another post about the controversial topics regarding his character in this post. You can go take a look if you wanna read my take on it.

That’s all, please feel free to add your own thoughts in the reply if you wanna talk about him. I’d love to read them. 

English is not my first language so I apologize in advance If I make any mistakes.

Time to go back to my main man 🚶🏻‍♀️ gosh I miss my stinky fishie so bad I’m gonna go annoy him in the cafe for the next 5 days now. Bye bye 👋

[axxa-the-allikatt]

My first FengQing fic! Collab with @screeching-painter-witch. Loved working with you! Glad I had someone to help me through with my first fic about them TwT I’ve been wanting to write them forever but I was too nervous 🥲. Can’t wait for us to start working on part two <3

Here ya go guys.

***

HEAVEN JUST GOT SWEETER FOR YOU

Summary:

“Ling Wen. Hey Ling Wennn. I won the bet. Pay up.” Pei Ming's voice came in. “Which bet?” Ling Wen replied.

“You know, the one where I said the generals of the south would sleep with each other within a decade?”

There was a pause. “General Ming Guang, this is the general communication array.”

“…Shit.”

OR

As they deal with the stress of an unexplained plague in the South, Mu Qing and Feng Xin’s bickering takes a turn for the worse as Feng Xin unintentionally brings up Mu Qing’s mother.

Mu Qing storms off and ends up in his mother’s tomb, and unwittingly gives himself up to a monster in the disguise of his beloved mother.

As Mu Qing is on the verge of dying at the hands of the monster, he subconsciously sends a prayer to Feng Xin in his last moments.

Feelings ensue. Feng Xin probably ascends for a second time.

Pei Ming is going to lose his job.

***

Text

“Don’t get into too much trouble!” Xie Lian called out from the door to the two generals walking away. Mu Qing rolled his eyes as Feng Xin waved at the man, before their expressions turned sour as Hua Cheng draped himself over Xie Lian’s shoulder, giving them a smirk.

Feng Xin and Mu Qing were on their way back to the Heavenly Capital after going to Xie Lian's Puqi Shrine for tea.

After everything with Jun Wu had happened, and Pei Ming had taken over as interim Heavenly Emperor while the Heavens were being rebuilt, Feng Xin, Mu Qing and Xie Lian had been working on rebuilding their friendship.

Their new dynamic, where they were all more or less on equal footing socially, meant they'd had to form new ways to redefine their friendship from the ground up, and tea at Puqi Shrine had become both a way for them to reconnect and catch up, and a way for Feng Xin and Mu Qing, who still lived in the heavens, to escape the stresses of rebuilding the Heavenly Capital for a bit.

It had become a near weekly occurrence, during which the three had become closer and more comfortable spending time with each other (even in spite of Hua Cheng's catty remarks that Xie Lian had to visibly stifle a laugh at. Apparently Xie Lian and Mu Qing were more similar than Feng Xin had previously thought).

Today, though, things were a little more fraught than usual.

Feng Xin and Mu Qing had been notified of a plague that was beginning to ravage the South.

It was a strange condition. No one new how it was transmitted or what caused it, only that those who caught it would fall victim to terrible nightmares, crying out to people they cared about or loved ones they'd lost, until the strain of the dream drained them and they grew calm, stopped moving entirely and never woke up again.

This time, they had visited Xie Lian for advice. In his 800 years of banishment, Xie Lian had apparently run into every terrifying creature and circumstance possible, and no god had spent as much time in the mortal realm as he had.

Mu Qing had suspected it might be a ghost draining mortals' qi, and they had silently agreed that if Xie Lian did not know anything, Hua Cheng certainly would. Not that they would ask him outright. If Hua Cheng knew something, he would certainly not pass up a chance to impress "gege" (Feng Xin still grew a little red at the way Hua Cheng said that word to Xie Lian).

Apparently, Xie Lian had run into such monsters before, and even been assaulted by some of them. The casual way he'd described the encounters, plural, made Feng Xin shiver.

Hua Cheng had also run into such creatures. He confirmed Mu Qing's suspicions that the condition described by the mortals was most likely caused by a creature, although it was more demon than ghost. One of them had attempted to feed on the strong Yin energy of Ghost City, and after the disappearances of numerous ghosts, Hua Cheng had become aware of it and dealt with the problem.

He'd said no more but only stated that it "should be easy to kill for a martial god."

Feng Xin and Mu Qing had exchanged a glance at his slight mocking tone.

As the two began walking away, Feng Xin could tell Mu Qing was on edge. He hated being seen as incompetent, and Hua Cheng's remark had managed to make him feel just that.

“Fucker” Feng Xin muttered under his breath, referring to Hua Cheng. Mu Qing rolled his eyes again before adding “Can he not speak in riddles for once? Lives are on the line here!” “What was it that he said again? Something about memories haunting and losses. What the fuck is that even supposed to mean?!” Feng Xin hissed.

“Why don’t you try to actually use that brain of yours? Oh wait, you might lose your remaining common sense.” Mu Qing taunted.

“Shut up! It’s not as if you know the answer!”. Mu Qing huffed in annoyance but kept quiet.

“I thought so! Stop acting like you’re so smart. You aren’t all that.” Feng Xin muttered under his breath. “What was that!?” Mu Qing demanded.

Feng Xin was about to repeat what he said, before he had, what he thought, a brilliant idea to rail Mu Qing up. “I said maybe, commoners should train better so that they can protect themselves from the plague!”

Mu Qing grit his teeth. “Yeah?! Well, maybe if the not so commoners of Xianle had trained better, we wouldn’t have lost the war!”

“What the fuck?! Where did that come from?! Fuck off!”

“Do us a favour and kill yourself!” Mu Qing hissed back as they both ascended to the heavenly capital

“Well, maybe you should kill yourself. Go join your mother and she might teach you some actual manners this time!”

Mu Qing, who was in the middle of a retort, froze. His angry expression carefully settled into a blank stare as he stood shocked for a few moments. Feng Xin stilled at this reaction, his heart dropping into his stomach as Mu Qing swallowed hard before slowly backing away. Before he could call out to him, he had disappeared into an array, closing it before Feng Xin had a chance to run after him.

“Fuck.” Feng Xin muttered.

***

The array fell closed behind Mu Qing.

Feng Xin ran in the direction Mu Qing had disappeared in, ready to open and array himself until he realised he had no idea where Mu Qing had gone and no way of finding out.

With how badly he'd fucked up, Mu Qing would probably want to be alone right now anyway.

Fuck, fuck, FUCK!

Why did he say that? Why did he ever think it was a good idea to bring up Mu Qing's mother when he had failed to be there for Mu Qing when she'd died?

It had been going so well with Mu Qing.

After the Mt. Tonglu incident, Feng Xin had realised how wrong he was about what kind of person Mu Qing was and he had been more than happy (reluctant but not against it) to help when Xie Lian had reached out to him to help get Mu Qing to be more comfortable with them.

It had taken him all his strength not to mention Mu Qing’s little f-f-friends speech at Mt. Tonglu but really, almost all the times they used to fight in the past few centuries, he’d never thought that Mu Qing would really take it to heart.

Tripping over his own feet, Feng Xin had a vague thought about going down to the mortal realm to find Mu Qing, but realised that what he’d said was fucked up and Mu Qing would probably need space. The communication array. Right! Trying to call out to him in the array, he was met with silence. Fuck.

What the fuck was he going to do now? Leaving Mu Qing alone for a bit seemed like a good idea, but for how long? Should he wait at his palace? Should he ask someone for help? Who would he ask?

He did not want to worry Xie Lian about this. Besides, who knew if Mu Qing would be angry at him for sharing that fight and his reaction with Xie Lian?

No, he needed to seek advice from an impartial party. Someone with better social skills than himself, who had seen his and Mu Qing's fights over the centuries. That left…

The only person in the heavenly capital who had any idea about situations like these. Pei Ming (who was the interim heavenly emperor now). As much as Feng Xin didn’t want to go to him for help, he knew he’d messed up horribly this time and needed some clarification on what to do.

"Nan Yang! What brings you to my palace?"

Feng Xin had not realised how quickly he'd already reached Pei Ming's palace before the idea had fully formed in his mind.

"General." Feng Xin nodded at him. "I need advice on a certain… issue."

Curiosity piqued, Pei Ming gestured at Feng Xin to sit next to him. "And what is this 'certain problem?' Another fight with Xuan Zhen? I'm sure you can cover the damages," he said, playfully. Feng Xin winced. He clearly didn't expect that to be the actual reason.

"Yes," he said.

Pei Ming raised an eyebrow.

"Well, there are no damages, but..." Feng Xin trailed off lamely. He wasn't sure how to describe what had just happened.

After a moment’s pause, Feng Xin began murmuring to himself what sounded like a string of curses, and Pei Ming couldn’t make heads nor tails of it.

“General Nan Yang, if you’re here to curse my ancestors out of the dead, I’d be highly offended, you know.”

Feng Xin took a deep breath. “I need help. It’s…urgent.”

"Yes. You’ve said that. I'm afraid you will need to be a bit clearer, general."

Feng Xin shot him a look that probably would have made Mu Qing proud in other circumstances.

Pei Ming waited surprisingly patiently as he tried to find the words.

"We had a fight."

"That part is to be expected," Pei Ming replied. "But that's par for the course for you guys. What happened that you came here?"

Feng Xin tried to find a way to phrase it.

"..."

"It wasn't a normal fight." Great. Perfectly said. Mu Qing would have had a field day with that one.

Pei Ming, for his part, looked confused but curious. Feng Xin had a feeling he was fishing for gossip. Although, as Heavenly Emperor, he would have to keep it under wraps, at least until the whole issue was resolved.

“What's this issue that is so concerning that the general has come to ask for my help?”

"Well…There is a plague in the South, and we were looking for ways to combat it."

Pei Ming's face turned serious. "And have you made any headway?"

"We have some information, but not enough to have a clear picture of what to do. We were discussing our next course of action and we couldn't come to an agreement. The conversation got more hostile and..."

"And?"

Feng Xin sighed. “Mu- General Xuan Zhen and I started arguing again. And I sort of unintentionally brought up something that made him stalk off who knows where.”

“Oh. And what’s this that you brought up?”

Feng Xin grit his teeth, knowing full well that Pei Ming was asking for future purposes. “I.. said something about his mother.”

Pei Ming faked a gasp. “Oh that is a low blow, general!”

“I know, you bastard! That’s why I’m here for help. It’s the first time he’s ignored me in the array. He always replies,even if we’ve fought! Fuck, what if something’s happened to him?! What if he-“

Pei Ming put up a hand to stop Feng Xin from going off in a tangent. “I’m sure he’s fine, general. I don’t think he’d appreciate you thinking of him as weak. He’s probably in a fight with some demon that blocks the communication array. I’m sure he’ll be back soon.

The two of you know each other well, and you practically share a domain. A bond like that should make you as good as brothers! Back when I had just ascended-"

Feng Xin suddenly felt awkward. He rubbed at his neck, tuning out the next thing Pei Ming was about to say.

He'd really fucked up.

***

Mu Qing had no idea where his feet were leading him. He really hadn’t expected Feng Xin’s words to sting so much.

He had been so relieved when Feng Xin and His Highness had invited him to Puqi shrine, a few weeks after the Jun Wu incident. He had been sceptical at first, thinking this was a joke to remind him of what had happened at Mt. Tonglu. But neither of them had brought up the incident, and they had spent almost an entire day conversing about the Xianle days.

It had been a surprise for all of them, when both Feng Xin and Xie Lian had cautiously asked Mu Qing if he would mind cooking, and Mu Qing, for once, did not feel like they were treating him as a mere servant, and had began preparing without any argument. Over the months they had spent several days in each other’s company.

Once Hua Cheng had returned, Xie Lian had more often than not excused himself from these hangouts early, and Mu Qing found himself spending the rest of the day in the company of only Feng Xin.

He had gotten too comfortable with Feng Xin’s snarky remarks because he had believed, for once, that they held no poison behind them. Stupid stupid stupid.

Now he had to face the painful numbness that he was so used to, back when everyone pulled at his threads about his status and… and his mom. Mother. It was then that he realised where he was going. His mother’s tomb. The place that buried all the painful memories and safe guarded all the happy ones.

Even before he'd ascended, Mu Qing had wanted to find a good spot to build a final resting place for his mother. A place deserving of the honour of holding her. He didn't know when exactly the idea had first come into his mind. Muddled thoughts about what to do next and honouring her legacy were all his mind could manage after she'd died, and no one else knew how much of his determination to ascend after that was for her. She would not be remembered otherwise. No matter how wise, patient, beautiful, elegant she had been, no one would spare her name a glance.

She deserved better. She deserved the honours of a queen. Mu Qing had not been able to give her that in life, but he'd be damned if anything kept him from at least doing so in death.

He'd built her a tomb himself, filled with engravings and gold and jewels, deep in a forest in the Southwest. He'd disguised it so that, to the eyes of mortals and less powerful gods, it looked like a small decrepit hut.

He visited it whenever he needed comfort. Sitting with his mother in silence gave him a sense of peace he couldn't manage as easily in his palace in the Heavens.

But now, as he neared the clearing, the place felt more stifling than relaxing, more dangerous than safe. Stepping into the area, his breath caught in his throat. There, sitting on the stone steps of the little hut, his mother was beckoning him.

The first thing he felt was guilt.

How could he have forgotten the gold specks in the pitch black colour of her eyes? Her dimples when she smiled?

Mu Qing wasn't an idiot. The second he saw her he'd immediately put together Hua Cheng's stupid riddles. Of course the thing before him was not his mother. Of course it was whatever had been causing the deaths across the South, plaguing villagers with memories of those they'd lost until the strain was too much, feeding its victims' qi as their pain rendered them unable to move.

Of course it had found this spot, brimming with Mu Qing's spiritual energy after centuries, and decided to lure him here.

Mu Qing realised all this.

But maybe, just maybe…. “Hello mother” he called out, walking towards the hut. “Perhaps, Feng Xin was right. It’s about time I joined you” He leaned into the outstretched arms of his mother. Relaxing into the touch he missed so terribly, “Take me home mother.”

As his ‘mother’ wrapped her arms around him, he felt the soothing touch calm the torrent of spiritual energy flowing through him.

Seconds passed into minutes. Slowly, he felt his consciousness slip from his grasp, a lovely numbness spreading across his body.

Melting into the embrace, Mu Qing tried to grasp his thoughts, which tauntingly slipped from his fingers every time he held onto one for too long.

Pleasant memories flashed through his head; of the Xianle days, where he would pick berries for his mother, or would secretly slip a smile at a stupid joke that Xie Lian would make; of the times when Xie Lian had ascended and he would help him with his infinite amount of prayers; of the days back in the mortal realm, performing in the streets for whatever they could earn; of the day where Mu Qing finally ascended, years and years of training finally paying off; of the all the little things that helped him stay strong for hundreds of years; of Feng Xin whom he couldn’t tolerate, yes, but also the one person in all the world who had been with him through all these ups and downs. Feng Xin.

Feng Xin. Shit.

With a startle, Mu Qing opened his eyes, trying to jump away from this demon that had the audacity to lure him in using his beloved mother’s form.

He realised with a shocked grunt he couldn’t feel his limbs, nor could he sense any spiritual energy flowing through his body. With a wretched gasp, he felt bile rise up his throat, and blood oozing out of his nose, onto the cold wooden floor which he was now lying on.

He cried out in agony as the demon, which had returned to its real form, an ugly eight legged, one eyed monster, sunk its claws into this skull, piercing it with a painful crack. He was losing consciousness again.

He thought again of his mother. Of the woman who had dedicated her life's efforts to raising him, to making sure he could survive and follow what he wanted to do. She had believed he was strong enough to ascend, and he had. He was not going to throw that away. But what could he do now?

How stupid was he?! Falling into the arms of a demon that he could’ve ended within moments? Now he was stuck in the clutches of a monster, falling into the same fate as those innocent mortals.

At first the dreams were still nice. Sweet, calm moments of his mother teaching him how to cook, how to make the best of each plant and animal so they would have as much to eat as possible. Mu Qing and his mother, washing laundry together. Her steady hands and soft voice, patiently teaching him how to sew, each stitch demonstrated again and again, her kindness at his messy imitations until he improved.

Slowly, though, the dreams kept becoming darker, more distressing.

His mother's illness. Her shaking hands, no longer able to earn them food by mending clothes. Her voice, getting quieter and quieter. Her flushed face distorted in the agony of fever and pain. Mu Qing, sitting by her bedside, unable to do anything but watch. Hating to leave her alone, but he had to, to work, sweeping, washing, changing the prince's sheets, mending clothes--

The fall of Xianle, and then the fall of his mother, weak, delirious with pain, nearly unrecognisable by the end of it. He'd just wanted to join her, stay with her forever in the Ghost Realm, or the next life.

He could hear her voice, twisted into unusual cruelty, saying that he'd abandoned her, hadn't done enough, hadn't worked hard enough to get her the medicine on time, hadn't recognised what was wrong early enough, that he'd run off to cultivate with the Crown Prince without a care for her.

It was this cruel voice that roused a small part of Mu Qing. His mother would never say that. She never would have blamed her son for anything they went through. Even ravaged by fever and pain, she had been the one to encourage Mu Qing to find new friends, to take any opportunity he wanted, to make her proud by becoming proud of himself. As weak as she had been, she had celebrated with him when Xie Lian had argued for him to become a disciple at Mount Taicang.

Who was this creature to distort her memory like this? And how could Mu Qing possible let that stand?

Unfortunately, these thoughts had come too late.

Struggling but failing miserably, millions of thoughts flit through his head, trying to make the last impression on him before he cracked under the pain. But there was one thought, only one, that made its impact. Feng Xin.

Feng Xin. Feng Xin. Feng Xin. Feng Xin. Feng Xin. Feng Xin. Feng Xin.

Stupid Feng Xin. He wanted to think Feng Xin was an asshole for landing him in this situation. But really, Mu Qing knew he had only himself to blame. It was just a stupid remark.

Why did things have to end so badly between them? Mu Qing used to think that Feng Xin would be his death, but in death the only thoughts passing through him were of Feng Xin. How miserable.

But although Mu Qing tried to convince himself that he was annoyed at this, he still held onto the thought of Feng Xin, like it was his life line.

Feng Xin. General Nan Yang.

He passed out.

***

“And you should’ve seen her face! It was as if she had never knew gods existed! Then there was that woman who-“

It had been 10 minutes since Pei Ming began droning on about his female conquests of the decade (where had he found the time?!) and it had been 10 minutes since Feng Xin zoned out.

Honestly, for once, he wished that he could focus on Pei Ming’s gossip, because, right now, he wanted to think about anything but what Mu Qing might be doing.

His heart was racing marathons and he really wished Mu Qing would just come back to him and impale him with that saber of his (fuck, that sounded wrong…well-) instead of ignoring him. It was making him feel things he didn’t know were possible.

On one hand, in the current situation, Feng Xin felt so fucking bad for saying the things he did, and (although he would never admit it) he would fall to his knees if that was what it took for Mu Qing to talk to him again.

On the other hand, for the past few weeks, that feeling in his heart that brimmed every time he was with Mu Qing for the past 800 years was hitting him harder than ever.

He had the desperate urge to just dash to the nearest Xuan Zhen temple and pray to Mu Qing until he came back, even if it was to make fun of Feng Xin about it for the next few centuries.

Mu Qing. Mu Qing. Mu Qing. Mu Qing. Mu Qing. Mu Qing. Mu Qing.

Feng Xin was so lost in his thoughts he’d managed to completely tune Pei Ming out when he received it.

He felt a prayer tugging at the back of his mind. This one had a particular urgency to it, despite the fact that no words came to him.

He thought it must be from someone powerful, maybe a rich lord who had offerings to spare, until he caught the faint signature of Mu Qing's spiritual energy.

It built up and up, became a surge until Feng Xin wasn't sure how he could have missed it for even a second.

He unconsciously gasped, startling Pei Ming mid-speech. Mu Qing. He was-

Dashing from his seat, Feng Xin rushed past a surprised junior official. Ignoring the call from Pei Ming, he hurriedly began drawing an array for somewhere in the south.

That’s where he’d got the prayer. From Mu Qing.

Pei Ming seemed to notice his anxiousness. He looked at Feng Xin for a moment, then at the array he was drawing.

"Shut up," Feng Xin heard himself say.

Pei Ming looked startled at his words. "General, what happened? Did Xuan Zhen respond in the array? Is he in danger?"

Feng Xin still felt the intrusion in his mind, growing louder and louder.

The prayer held no words, but the feeling in it was clear.

Fear, tinged with exhaustion and the determination of someone who refused to let it get the best of him.

Fuck. Something must have gone terribly wrong for Mu Qing to call out to him like that. All the images that he had been trying to ignore, of Mu Qing hurt or worse, flashed through his mind again.

Mu Qing seemed to try to hold it back, but the wordless call for help was interspersed by spikes of sorrow, pain and the cruel words of a woman's voice Feng Xin did not recognise.

Ignoring the call from Pei Ming, he worked on the array using his own cup of tea to paint the sigils on the wall, latching on to the prayer with all his mind's strength, words beginning to make it through.

Mu Qing's voice was low, laboured, like it was hard to speak, but his words were desperate, fraught with emotion. Feng Xin didn't know what he'd expected to hear from Mu Qing right now. He would never ask for help, so the situation had to be dire. Probably cursing Feng Xin out? Telling him it was his fault Mu Qing had gotten into this? Was he-

Feng Xin.

Feng Xin. Feng Xin. Feng Xin. Feng Xin. Feng Xin.

General Nan Yang.

Feng Xin froze for a second before his worry increased tenfold.

His own name, repeated again and again. It sounded strange that way, in Mu Qing's voice but said without an ounce of mocking or derision. Feng Xin knew Mu Qing cared about him, perhaps not in the same way as Feng Xin cared for him, but he never expected Mu Qing to say his name with such desperation, almost like he was holding on to it to keep from succumbing to whatever was being done to him.

Habitually, Feng Xin drew his bow.

Without pausing for the array to completely open, he dashed through it, almost tripping over some rocks on the other side. He froze for a second, then ran.

His mind was not always as quick as Mu Qing's, but Feng Xin was sure whatever had managed to subdue Mu Qing like this must have been the demon killing mortals in the South.

The array had led him to a small clearing in one of the forests of the Southwest. There was a hut, its entrance darkened like that of a tomb. Its design reminded him of the small houses behind the palace in Xianle.

In front of it lay Mu Qing, still and bleeding. His limbs twitched. Attached to his head were the legs of a giant, spiderlike creature, its one eye trained intently on Mu Qing's unmoving body as its limbs dug into his skull with sickening strength.

“MU QING!”

At a speed that surprised even himself, Feng Xin knocked an arrow and let it fly, aiming at the thickest part of its head which was mere inches above Mu Qing's.

The arrow was infused with enough spiritual energy to break buildings.

With a cry of agony, the creature burst into a mess of filthy blood and flesh.

Ignoring the disgusting mess, Feng Xin got on his knees beside Mu Qing, almost breaking down when he saw the serious injuries on his head.

He could wallow later. Right now he had to get someone to help him.

Mu Qing was barely breathing, his eyes closed. His limbs still twitched as blood flowed from his nose and mouth. On the left side of his head, his temple had succumbed to the pressure, partly caved in in an unnatural shape.

But he wasn't dead. Feng Xin breathed a sigh as he moved to gently pick Mu Qing up. This must be painful, but it wasn't nearly enough damage to kill a martial god of his calibre.

Feng Xin was already in shock, but what he felt as his hand grazed Mu Qing's side made his blood run cold.

There was next to no spiritual energy left in him. Mu Qing's meridians were frayed to a level Feng Xin had never seen.

How did that thing get close enough for long enough to do this kind of damage?

As gently as he could without jostling Mu Qing, Feng Xin sped across the clearing and ran into the array.

This was his fault. He would fix this, and he was not letting Mu Qing out of his sight until he did.

Feng Xin was seeing red everywhere. He didn’t know how much longer he had before he himself started to feel dizzy.

Thankfully, several hands came to help him, the medical officials assuring him that they would try their best. Best? Oh, he must have been screaming for help.

As he yelled orders and ran to the Nan Yang palace infirmary as fast as he could, he couldn't keep his eyes away from Mu Qing.

He's still breathing, that's good, Feng Xin thought, even as Mu Qing's breathing got more faint and shallow by the second. Feng Xin was not going to think about that. Even if he stopped breathing, it was still fixable.

Keep breathing Mu Qing, come on. That's it. Please keep breathing.

The entire Heavenly Capital had heard what had happened by the time Feng Xin had laid Mu Qing in a cot and the healers began to administer treatment.

After what felt like hours but in reality must have been just a few minutes, he felt his body and mind calm down.

Alright. They would save him. Mu Qing would be fine. He had to be.

***

Mu Qing remained unconscious for the next four days.

Feng Xin desperately hoped Mu Qing would wake up soon because he was having waking nightmares about him lying in his own pool of blood almost every minute.

The rest of the gods and officials also desperately wanted General Xuan Zhen to wake up soon. Not only because he was a crucial part of their system, but also because Feng Xin was terrorising everyone in the capital with his constant anxiety, temper and that perpetual frown on his face.

It had been two days since Feng Xin had brought Mu Qing half dead into his palace. It had taken almost an hour until the medics were able to assure Feng Xin and everyone else that Mu Qing would make it out well, and that he had gone through a spiritual energy deviation, which had caused more damage than the actual monster.

Feng Xin spent the first two days in a chair by his cot, standing guard. He was still in his armour. The specks of Mu Qing's blood on it had turned a dull brown. Next to him, Mu Qing's breathing remained steady.

Mu Qing could wake up any minute, and he'd surely panic without a familiar face there to explain what had happened. And Heavenly Officials did not need sleep like humans did, anyway.

Countless officials came to offer their respects, although many of them were clearly just here for the gossip.

Anyone who asked what had happened for General Xuan Zhen to be struck down like this, with a too-curious glint in their eyes was promptly told to go fuck themselves.

Pei Ming visited, and Feng Xin just barely remembered to inform him that the plague in the South had been dealt with.

Xie Lian came by too. After Feng Xin told him what had happened, he insisted on keeping him company, making some not so subtle references to how he'd felt when Crimson Rain had dispersed in Mount Tonglu. He said Crimson Rain sent his well wishes, that he hadn't joined Xie Lian because he doubted Mu Qing seeing him when he woke up would aid in his healing.

Xie Lian ended up staying for longer than a day, but as Mu Qing's meridians steadily patched themselves back up, they'd agreed he'd leave them alone and return later. Two people seeing Mu Qing in such a weak state would probably be too much for him.

*

After Xie Lian left, and the healers assured Feng Xin again and again that Mu Qing was on his way to speedy recovery, Feng Xin got antsy. The healers seemed to notice this and sent him out to find some herbs and other ingredients that could balance qi and help speed along Mu Qing’s recovery. Feng Xin hesitated, but in the end his desire to see Mu Qing wake up and recover as soon as possible outweighed the instinct to be at Mu Qing’s side. He left the healers with instruction that he be the first one alerted when Mu Qing woke up.

Feng Xin had spent the next two days either rushing around the capital and the mortal realm, looking for whatever the medics asked him to get, or spent it glaring holes in his palace wall and anyone who came into his line of vision.

*

Feng Xin heard noises of his middle officials worriedly lingering from outside the curtain that sectioned off the cot from the rest of the infirmary. Feng Xin knew he meant well, so he stopped himself from yelling at them to leave and instead sent out a sharp spike of killing intent, careful to keep it away from Mu Qing.

He scowled at the curtain until the officials outside scurried away. The last thing Mu Qing would need when he woke up was curious, worried stranger staring at him.

He was focused so intently on getting them to leave that he didn't notice the slight shuffle of fabric coming from the cot.

"You look like shit."

It was barely a croak. The voice was laboured and raspy from lack of use.

Feng Xin whirled around.

"Mu Qing."

The man in question, although dazed, began to look guarded at the intensity in Feng Xin's voice.

"Yes, good job, you have eyes," Mu Qing rolled his own eyes.

There was a beat of silence as Feng Xin held himself back from lunging at Mu Qing to embrace him.

But in spite of the fondness and relief to see Mu Qing awake, there was also anger.

"What the fuck?"

Mu Qing bristled. "I should be asking you that."

Feng Xin was not deterred.

"Why the fuck did you do that? Why did you let that thing jump you?"

Mu Qing looked tired, but the anger still flashed in his eyes.

"That's none of your fucking business. You have no right to be pissed off after what you said! Why are you even here? I didn't fucking ask for your help anyway!"

"You did!" Feng Xin burst out.

Mu Qing crossed his arms, clearly trying to hide how difficult the movement was for him to manage. He still looked angry, but that didn't bother Feng Xin. Mu Qing had every right to be angry at him for what he'd said, for as long as he wanted.

What hit Feng Xin like an arrow to the gut was the fear in Mu Qing's eyes. He was hiding it with a shroud of anger, but Feng Xin knew him well enough to know that it was nothing more than a mask. And for even a bit of fear to show itself alongside the anger, Mu Qing had to he really disconcerted.

"I... what?"

Sighing, Feng Xin softened his voice like he was talking to a cornered animal.

"You called for help. Do you not remember?"

Mu Qing took a shuddering breath. Then he let the anger flash in his eyes again. He scowled at Feng Xin.

"That's not fucking funny."

"I know it's not. I'm not joking."

Mu Qing paled. He held his crossed arms in front of him like a shield, like he was afraid Feng Xin would give a devastating revelation.

"What... What did I say?"

"..." Feng Xin suddenly found himself at a loss to explain. Mu Qing had just thought of him, had only said his name. Why did that sound so strange when Feng Xin thought about saying it out loud.

Mu Qing only grew paler at Feng Xin's silence. Feng Xin hated the apprehension he saw on his face. His eyes were so wide, he looked so scared, like he was preparing himself for a lethal blow.

"Feng Xin, what did I say?"

Feng Xin forced it out, but found his voice grew smaller as he said "Nothing. You only thought of me. Only my name."

The relief on Mu Qing's face faded the second he saw Feng Xin's conflicted expression.

Whatever Mu Qing had been about to say was interrupted as Feng Xin spoke at the same time.

"You-"

"I'm sorry."

Mu Qing seemed even more surprised at that. When he didn't talk, Feng Xin continued.

"I'm sorry. I was stupid. I shouldn't have said that about... your mother."

At the mention of his mother, Mu Qing suddenly looked tired. To Feng Xin's surprise, though, he didn't antagonise him further.

"I did tell you to kill yourself right before."

Feng Xin was stunned. What was happening? "Yes, but--" he sputtered a little. "You should not have to apologise right now, for anything. It's my fault you ended up like this--" Mu Qing winced at the reminder-- "and even if you hadn't--"

Mu Qing interrupted him. "It was my decision. We would have run into it eventually. The demon was the one causing the plague, he was trying to lure me back to my mother's-- to that spot in the forest."

"Mu Qing." Feng Xin felt even guiltier at the admission Mu Qing had just let slip. He couldn't bring himself to speak loudly, his voice low. "That was your mother's tomb?"

Mu Qing pressed his lips together into a thin line. Feng Xin had the very bad feeling he was going to cry.

"That doesn't-- Where is it? The monster, where did it go? Did it get away?"

"It's dead," Feng Xin assured him. "I killed it after you called."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

Mu Qing seemed relieved at that. He looked frustrated, Feng Xin knew it was with himself. "And the tomb? Is it..."

"It's intact. The space felt drained of spiritual energy, but there were no damages."

A beat of silence.

"Mu Qing--"

"Feng Xin--"

"You go first," Feng Xin ceded.

"No. You go."

Feng Xin chuckled. If Mu Qing was back to being this stubborn, surely he was on his way to being perfectly fine in no time.

Then he remembered what he'd wanted to say, and his laugh (that Mu Qing rolled his eyes at) faded in place of trepidation. But Mu Qing had almost died. And the memory of seeing Mu Qing unconscious and bleeding, his breaths shallow, still stuck to Feng Xin. So.

"Maybe this isn't the right time."

Mu Qing scowled at him. "I'm fine. Just say it."

Feng Xin sighed. "this definitely isn't the right time, but--" he steeled himself a final time.

"I love you."

It came out more blunt than Feng Xin intended. His tone almost sounded angry. Shit, he really didn't know how to do this.

Mu Qing looked like he'd frozen to the spot. His eyes widened in shock, then realisation. Then they went cold.

"You don't need to do that."

Well. Feng Xin had thought about what Mu Qing's reaction would be, more often and more intently than he'd like to admit. But he hadn't thought Mu Qing would say that.

"I don't--"

"What, do you think I'm fragile now because you saw me weak?" His face twisted into a bitter smile. It was clear he tried to go for arrogant, but he mostly looked hurt. Vulnerable. Feng Xin hated it.

"That's not what--"

"I don't know what you think you saw or what you think I said, but I don't need to be coddled, Feng Xin. You should know that by now."

What the fuck?

Okay, Feng Xin knew Mu Qing was a champion of mental gymnastics. He was prepared for this. Even if Mu Qing did not love him, he deserved to know the truth.

"I'm not coddling you! Why the fuck would I do that?"

"Then what are you doing?" Mu Qing looked up at him, his eyes full of steel like he was facing down an enemy. Even directed at Feng Xin, even in this weak state, it was beautiful. Awe-inspiring. Feng Xin hated to admit it, but in that moment, like in many before, he understood Hua Cheng's worship of his beloved as a god.

In the face of that sight and that thought, Feng Xin said it.

"I've loved you for centuries." This time his voice came out perfectly gentle. He wanted to soothe Mu Qing, convince him. It didn't matter that he didn't feel the same, if he could convince Mu Qing that he was honest, that Mu Qing was safe with him, that he could crush Feng Xin's heart with his heel if he wanted to.

Mu Qing looked even more shocked now. His eyes had widened again, and in them, as the fear faded, Feng Xin saw something else. Something so painfully beautiful Feng Xin's heart constricted in his chest.

The slightest bit of tenuous hope.

Feng Xin wanted to keep that feeling in Mu Qing's eyes. He wanted to nurture it until it bloomed into full-blown joy.

"You--"

Feng Xin smiled. It made the fluttering something in Mu Qing's face grow.

Yes, he thought about saying, but he did not want Mu Qing to find a way to misread Feng Xin's expression of his sentiments.

So Feng Xin said it again. He looked Mu Qing in the eyes, and let every bit of sheer love he had held back over 800 years show in his expression and his voice as he said, slowly this time, "I love you."

Mu Qing kept looking at him, then shook his head as if he were trying to shake himself out of a dream.

"You're not fucking with me."

Feng Xin felt endlessly fond. "I'm not."

"Wait," Mu Qing said. He'd begun to relax, but he suddenly tensed up once more. "When you say you--" He seemed to be having trouble getting out the word.

Feng Xin was pretty sure he knew the right thing to say this time. If he didn't fear Mu Qing would read his mind the second he thought it and punch him, he would think Mu Qing was an idiot.

"I’m in love with you." He enunciated each word clearly, as if he were teaching the words to Mu Qing.

Mu Qing rolled his eyes. Then he seemed to realise what Feng Xin had said. His cheeks and ears blushed a pretty pink. Feng Xin wanted to bite it.

Mu Qing just stared at him for a while. When Feng Xin began to awkwardly fidget, wondering if he was even going to get an answer, Mu Qing spoke.

"Since you're not messing with me. I am also. Hm," he cleared his throat with a breath. "I also. Um." Mu Qing stuttered.

Oh wow…Okay Feng Xin, get it together.

Feng Xin knew how Mu Qing got when feelings were brought up like this. He needed to be steady, someone Mu Qing could rely on to get more comfortable with his emotions.

Feng Xin took Mu Qing's hand.

"You don't have to say it."

He was still smiling. Mu Qing rolled his eyes again, although a smile began forming on his own face too.

Mu Qing's blush deepened. "Shut up. I'm getting to it." Then, after a beat, "I want to."

Feng Xin thought the Heavens must be misnamed, because surely only the sight of Mu Qing's face right now could be deserving of that word.

After a number of aborted attempts (Feng Xin did not keep count because Mu Qing would kill him if he did. The number was six), Mu Qing had finally gathered himself enough to say it.

"I love you too." He'd said it stiffly, like a general delivering a speech, and Feng Xin stifled a laugh at the tone. "Well fuck you too,"Mu Qing muttered, thought there was no bite in it. He was smiling.

They looked at each other so fondly. Feng Xin had never thought Mu Qing would look at him that way. (He'd dreamed it, wished for it, but he'd never thought it would actually happen.)

The moment broke when Mu Qing yawned, his eyes drooping a little. He was clearly not back to his full strength, and the fear and stress of their conversation had faded enough for the exhaustion and his injuries make themselves known again.

Feng Xin squeezed his hand. "You can rest if you want to."

Judging by the "Hm" Mu Qing gave instead of resisting, Feng Xin could tell he was well on his way to falling asleep.

Mu Qing fell back into the covers.

Turning towards his seat, Feng Xin decided to let Mu Qing rest, when he felt a gentle tug on his hand. Turning back, he saw Mu Qing’s hand wrapped around his wrist, the injured man peaking at him through one squinting eye. Fuck. He looked so cute.

“Do you want something, Mu Qing?” He asked softly. He received no verbal answer, but another tug at his hand made his heart speed up.

Feng Xin had gotten very good at reading Mu Qing over the years. He knew what Mu Qing wanted, but he still wanted to be sure he'd understood correctly.

Tenderly, tentatively, he asked "Do you want me to sleep next to you?"

Another gentle tug.

Leaning onto the hand, he slowly crawled into the bed, lying beside Mu Qing. “Ok?” He whispered. He received no reply again, but Mu Qing made no attempts to move away when he inched closer to him, wrapping his arms around that deceitfully slim waist, pulling him against his chest.

Mu Qing immediately curled into his side like a cat, like he had once or twice in his sleep when they'd been in the same tent on missions together.

He began carding his fingers through his hair. They felt just as soft and silky as he’d dreamed they would be. Minutes passed, and as Feng Xin felt himself slipping into a cozy sleep, he felt a soft ‘I love you’ whispered against his neck.

In reply, he pulled him closer, holding him a bit tighter, as he pressed his lips into his hair.

“I love you too.”

***

Mu Qing had fallen asleep almost immediately once he’d curled up against Feng Xin and, although he’d never admit it, it was the comfiest sleep he’d had in a long while.

Which led to his situation now. It had been, what he could safely assume, a few hours since they’d fallen asleep, and Mu Qing honestly would have slept for another few hours, if it weren’t for that little nightmare he had that jostled him from his sleep.

Yes, he could’ve easily gone back to sleep, if it weren’t for one tiny problem. When he had fallen asleep, Feng Xin was still awake for quite a while.

Which is why he had forgotten all about the fact that Feng Xin snored.

It wasn’t loud by any means. It was a tiny rumble. But when a tiny rumble was constantly humming by his ear, it really took all his strength to not to push that stupid face away from him.

Mu Qing sighed. It had been almost three minutes since he’d woken up. He didn’t even want to open his eyes, in hopes that by some chance that he’d accidentally slip back into sleep. He supposed it was time he woke up.

He slowly opened his eyes, and huffed when he was met with the sight of Feng Xin’s broad chest. He wanted to bite them.

Carefully turning his head, he froze for a second before yelping and pushing Feng Xin away, consequently leading to him falling off the bed.

“What the fuck?!” Came a shout from on the floor.

But Mu Qing was too busy glaring holes at Pei Ming standing by the doorway, with Xie Lian right behind him.

Beside Mu Qing, Feng Xin shot up from the floor glaring at Mu Qing, before his eyes fell on the two martial gods. His expression turned sour as he huffed at Pei Ming then apologetic as he looked at Xie Lian.

Before either Mu Qing or Feng Xin could say anything, Pei Ming let out a loud cackle, then proceeded to huff that he’d always known that the two generals of the south would end up together. Behind him Xie Lian merely smiled at them happily, giving them a thumbs up before excusing himself.

“Fuck off” Feng Xin hissed. Pei Ming, who hadn’t shown any signs of leaving, cackled again before disappearing from the doorway.

The two generals let out a sigh. Looking at each other, each awkwardly waited for the other to speak.

Feng Xin cursed under his breath. Mu Qing was on the verge of rolling his eyes when he froze.

Feng Xin. Feng Xin was kissing him. Oh.

Letting out a surprised squeak, he felt Feng Xin chuckled against his lips. It was a moment before he regained his bearings.

Oh? Two could play that game. Mu Qing grabbed at Feng Xin’s collar, pulling him back onto the bed. As Feng Xin gasped, Mu Qing bit his lower lip, snickering at the yelp from Feng Xin.

Pulling back, the two gods stared at each other…

Mu Qing rolled his eyes.

“You ruined the fucking mood!” Feng Xin groaned. Mu Qing snickered, which turned into an embarrassed chuckle as Feng Xin threw that stupid dopey smile at him.

“Are you feeling okay? Do you want to go back to sleep?” Feng Xin questioned, flopping back on the bed. Mu Qing bit the poisoned reply on his tongue. No. That wouldn’t work. Not now.

“I’m alright. I was having a great sleep until your stupid snores ruined it,” he huffed out instead.

“…..” Feng Xin was only grinning at him like an idiot. Mu Qing face flushed as he realised what he’d just admitted. “You-“ “I’m glad you’re comfortable with me,” Feng Xin interrupted.

Mu Qing was about to retort, but caught himself. Feng Xin was being genuine. He wasn’t saying it as a joke.

“…Mn,” Mu Qing replied. He really wanted to hide under the bed right now. Instead, he fell back onto the bed, rolling onto his side facing away from Feng Xin. A few moments passed before he heard the sheets ruffle behind him.

His instincts almost made him kick Feng Xin away, but he ignored them, letting out a quiet sigh as muscular arms creeped up around his waist, a head resting against his back.

“…”

“…”

“I’ll try not to snore.”

Mu Qing kicked his foot, earning him a chuckle.

Just as he was about to fall asleep again, a voice in the general communication array caught their attention.

“Ling Wen. Hey Ling Wennn. I won the bet. Pay up.” Pei mings voice came in. “Which bet?” Ling Wen replied.

“You know, the one where I said the generals of the south would sleep with each other within a decade?”

There was a pause. “General Ming Guang, this is the general communication array.”

“…Shit.”

There was a pregnant pause, before screams of disbelief and ‘I knew it’ blasted through the array.

Without a word, Feng Xin and Mu Qing got out of the bed, grabbing their weapons before heading out to the emperor’s palace.

Sleep? Fuck that. They had some hunting to do.

***

Hope you guys enjoyed!

Reblogs are appreciated~

[suguru-getos]

“I have love and dreams too.”

It feels like finally, he was candid & vulnerable & like his real self to Yuji. He knew he was going to die there, and yet he just used this opportunity to show a little bit of the golden, selfless heart he carries. I really don’t understand how certain people in the Jujutsu Kaisen fandom view Satoru as selfish… it honestly irks & confuses me to bits. Anyway, that’s not the point here. The point is how absolutely shattered it made me. My heart literally sank at that line & the way he said that. He’s always the “annoying one”, the “Strongest” but only when needed.

It’s really something else when you finally come to the realization that the only person who treated Satoru like an actual human being is Geto Suguru. I’d like to think his students would take care of him, would remember him well… but I don’t see that happening. The ending of JJK has been nothing short of tragic to me. It’s how everyone relied on him & they were always a foot short on the gratitude. Even after his death he is being blamed for not killing Yuuji on time & letting this happen. Give him a fucking break.

I don’t understand the ending of this manga honestly, Gege has time & time again showed they are brilliant & then they do something like this. It’s blatantly obvious how much they hate Satoru though lol but then why use him to milk the manga sales until the last possible minute? :3 Sly and disgusting to me. I don’t want to say anything else despite I am absolutely PISSED with the ending because at the end of the day it’s their story. I will be balming my wounds writing fanfiction as usual. :3

A part within me was gut-wrenched when I saw the panel, those were the words of a man who knew his last moment… is here. Satoru, wherever you are, I’m sure you’d be happier. Maybe being united with Suguru is what suits you best in the world of JJK. :// Also, nothing’s changed? The ending isn’t Shonen-esque at all to me? Ugh whatever—

The summary of this in my head is — shit ending, fuck canon. He comes back & gets to live his hopes and dreams.

[irisintheafterglow]

heyy hope you're doing well (iykyk).

You know me lol...i got an idea for a fic but my exams are going on and i can't write it myself...like... that scene where gojo is panting? everyone relates it to well....but for me, i always feel a little hurt. i just wanna hug him and let him lean his weight on me as he catches his breath while i caresses his head cuz LOOK AT HIM! HE'S EXHAUSTED! MY MAN DESERVES A BREAK!!

Anyways so that's what i was thinking lol....a fic where (for the sake of my sanity) he gets a break and leans on the reader on the floor while catching his breath as the reader holds him close... it's okay if you can't do it though i just hope we all recover from the trauma that we call jujutsu kaisen. amen 🙏 😭

the stakes are high, the water's rough, but this love is ours

wc: 0.44k

cw/tags: swearing, angst if you squint real hard, pet names (baby, angel), just loving satoru things

note: you're literally so right i think all my problems would be solved if i could just hold him for a second and let him breathe because GEGE WHEN I FUCKING CATCH YOU- anyways hope you like this, it's just a drabble because i felt like getting straight to the point without exposition oops. enjoy!

likes, reblogs, and replies are always appreciated <;3 gege you will pay for my therapy

Your back collides with cold, grimey tile as you slide onto the floor in the corner of the subway stop. You stopped counting the number of Curses you’d exorcized a long time ago, but you knew it was a large enough number to have your body physically depleted. Your eyes shut from sheer exhaustion as you continue to steady your rapid breathing and you sense him collapse on the floor next to you. You don’t open your eyes, even when his forehead falls onto your shoulder and you can feel his heavy exhales through your clothes. Somewhere in the dim fluorescent lights, his right hand grabs your left, holding it tightly as he grounds himself in your presence. 

“Fuck, I’m so fucking tired,” he mutters against your body. Like clockwork, your fight-or-flight response starts to recede now that he’s here. You’re always safe when he’s here. “I’m so, so tired.”

“I know, baby. I know.” 

“Are you okay? Are you safe?”

“I’m safe, ‘toru. Even more so now that you’re here. Just rest.” The familiar feeling of Infinity extending itself to envelop you sends goosebumps on your skin; it was like his technique knew to cover you from sheer instinct after doing it so many times. Whether he knows it or not, he slowly starts to completely slump against you and you let him, wrapping your arms around his shoulders while his head fits snugly under your chin. His body continues to melt into you when you rub his back without him asking and sighing when your fingers comb through his hair. If Nanami or Yaga saw you two curled up on the dirty floor, neglecting your duties of slaying Curses, they’d have a field day. But, as of now, the only people in the green-tinted underground were you and Satoru. 

“We gotta get back out there,” he groans and you tighten your grip on his shoulders ever so slightly to pull him back to you. You didn’t want him to go yet, and it seemed like he didn’t want to, either. The universe allowed Satoru very limited moments to catch his breath and you damn sure weren’t going to let him rush into danger again so quickly. 

“Give yourself a few more seconds to just breathe, please. No one’s gonna hurt us right now,” you murmur into his hair. “I won’t let them.” He huffs out half a laugh at the irony, at your promise to protect the one who’s supposed to be guarding everyone else.

“Thank you, angel. Just give me a little longer and I’ll get up.”

“Take all the time you need; I’ll stay here forever if you need me.”

if you enjoy my writing and would like to support me, you can buy me a coffee on my ko-fi! you can also check out my full masterlist here :)

[rayan12sworld]

💠💙From the Future for the Past

By:friedchickenlord

Summary:

Silent flaps of butterfly wings.

Given the chance, he will gladly change the past—or making new branch on the road, Lan Wangji isn’t picky. But looking at his awkward fifteen-year-old self trying to come to terms with his feeling is kind of fun. He… might understand a little why his husband is so fond of teasing him.

~~未来から過去に

Bonus Chapter, Wei Wuxian's side:

Please give back Wei Wuxian’s husband. He is three years old and he wants kisses.

Chapter:3/3

Words:27,193

Status:completed

One moment, Lan Qiren and Lan Xichen are instructing the junior disciple on Lan Sect sword form with Hanguang-jun watching from afar. The next second, there is a bright light and a man dressed in black appearing in the middle of field, brandishing a pitch black dizi with red tassel like a weapon. “GIVE ME BACK MY HUSBAND!” he shouts as he blindly tries to kick Lan Qiren. There is chaos—Jiang Cheng shouting ‘what the fuck, what the fuck’, Nie Huaisang screeching in horror, Lan Qiren trying to outshout everyone, and Lan Xichen trying to bring order—which is broken by a huff and a sound of laughter from Hanguang-jun. The unknown man, hair tied in half high ponytail with red ribbon, whips his head to the source of laughter. When he sees Hanguang-jun, everyone can see the rapid change of his emotion from anger to astonishment to a besotted one. “Er-gege!” the man cheers, leaving the chaos he has made to run to Hanguang-jun who has already opened his arms. “Er-gege! You laugh! Your poor husband has missed you so!” “Husband,” Hanguang-jun answers, catching the man who has thrown himself at the older Lan Wangji’s embrace without any shame. “I miss you too.” “!!! Lan Zhan! I told you to give me warning before speaking like that! Your husband’s heart can’t take it!”

~~

Lan Qiren coughs out blood as he points at the shameless couple with a shaky finger. “Y-you! The pig that touches my nephew! What did you said your name again?” he shouts in anger, wiping the blood that drops on his chin with his other hand. The man in black stops kissing Hanguang-jun just to laugh again. But, after he seemingly understands that he needs to explain and can’t keep playing around, he detaches himself from the older Lan Wangji—who quickly wraps an arm around the other man’s waist—and bows low to Lan Qiren’s direction. “This humble one is your worst student, Wei Ying!” he greets cheerfully. “Courtesy name Wei Wuxian, of Gusu Lan Sect… I have a forehead ribbon and all! Do you want to see, Uncle?” the man begins rummaging the lapel of his robes before pulling a Cloud Patterned forehead ribbon with triumph. “You are not Wei Wuxian!” Jiang Cheng snaps, pulling his shixiong to stand behind him. “The fuck, you look nothing like him! What kind of joke is it?!” “The joke is I died once and got offered a body—aw, Lan Zhan, don’t look like that!” Wei Wuxian—the older one—smiles gently at the stunned and pale-faced younger Lan Wangji who loses all the color on his face at the word ‘I died’. “I am alright.”

~~

.“STOP TRYING TO MOLEST EACH OTHER IN THE OPEN!” Uncle Qiren roars, pointing his disciplinary ruler at Hanguang-jun who has his husband pinned on the magnolia tree, lips red and swollen and forehead ribbon crooked. During the last few days of the stay for Hanguang-jun and Wei Wuxian (in Mo Xuanyu’s body)—to build an array to go back to their time, to kill Wen Rouhan when they are on it—Lan Qiren and the rest of Cloud Recesses have to endure the public display of affection from the loving married couples. They have been separated for too many weeks. They are so shameless that even Wei Wuxian can’t look at any of them at their eyes—even if one of them is still him. Wei Wuxian can’t imagine him and Lan Zhan being that shameless. Especially Lan Zhan. Oh, he really is a bad influence on Lan Wangji. “Er-gege!” he cries, throwing himself on his Lan Wangji when he realizes that he truly is a pig who has stolen Lan Qiren’s prized cabbage. “Please don’t throw me away because I am a bad influence!”

[fallloverfic]

TGCF donghua Season 2, Episode 3 thoughts

Screaming through my tears of happiness. Spoilers under the cut (also book/story spoilers, for folks just coming in from the donghua).

We may only get him for a minute or two BUT I LOVE ALL THE PRECIOUS SECONDS OF YIN YU, MY BELOVED T-T The second he started talking I had to pause to scream adlkjaldaj

I also love how obvious this is. It's a nice way to set up for the audience "yeah, something's fishy here and it's not just He Xuan". I'm just imagining Hua Cheng like taking Yin Yu's bandages off and unrolling his sleeve to properly set the scene for Xie Lian to see the shackle alkdjalj Cause it'd be funny. Yin Yu, tiredly, "Yes, Hua Chengzu, whatever you want, Hua Chengzu..."

They are so cute. I love them so much.

I imagine a bajillion people have said this but this is very funny as a comparison to Beast giving Beauty the library in Disney's Beauty and the Beast. Hua Cheng knows what makes his gege happy: a fully stocked armory. Xie Lian's pose is so adorable T-T "I really do" indeeeed. Their back and forth kills me T-T

E-ming, babyyyy T-T gets some sparklies cause it's so happpp cause Xie Lian is noticing it :3333

ALSO E-MING'S CHIRPING???? IT'S SO CUTE????? THE CUTEST THING IN THE WORLD????

Xie Lian leaning over to pet Hua Cheng's weapon while Hua Cheng is wearing it ends me. Just ends me. Bless them all.

Spider-man Xie Lian was hilarious aldkjalj You think "oh he's not being good at this whole sneaky thing isn't he, Yin Yu is probably like "how long do I pretend I can't tell he's like 10 steps behind me"" and then WOOP SPIDER-XIE LIAN alkdjaldkja

Spider-Lian, Spider-Lian, does whatever a scrap collector god can...

I also love the parallel stuff with Lang Ying and Hua Cheng, setting up for Hua Cheng to later impersonate him. I know part of it is just twigging Xie Lian's memory of Hong-Hong-er, but the first time it happens (with Lang Ying's silhouette after dropping the bandages fading into Hua Cheng's face in the present), I think it's a clear set-up for the later plot of Hua Cheng pretending to be him.

Also Ruoye and Xie Lian being badass: I am always here for it.

Qi Rong getting a second of reference. I'm so excited to see how he's handled, terrible man that he is, love him.

Wind Master was also really funny, "I never want to go on patrols with you ever again!" aldkjaldja He's so mad aldkjaldaj

Wonderful episode. I cried. I screamed (no literally I had to pause and make myself be quiet alkdjaldja). E-Ming's chirping T-T Yin Yu T-T Hualian. So adorable.

Other episode thoughts for season 2 (didn't start till episode 3):

S02E03 (you are here)

S02E04

S02E05

S02E06

S02E07

S02E08

S02E09

S02E10

S02E11

S02E12

[nanamis-bigtie]

2024 manga reading journal - an extract

this was supposed to be a bigger project but 1) i forgot 2) i haven't read as much as i hoped and i'm kinda bummed about it

but i found a few new favorites, returned to some older reads, finally did a proper reading of my current obsession... it wasn't a fruitless year

if you want to follow my 2025 journey, i will list everything i read on my bluesky, feel free to follow ❤

without any further add-on - my personal favorites of 2024:

delicious in dungeon

do i need to say anything?

handsome girl and sheltered girl

one is a little awkward, the other is extremely stupid, what can go wrong? to this day one of my favorite yuris

dragon ball

it aged bad as fuck. but i still enjoyed the dip back into my early manga days. despite its many flaws, it's a classic worth reading not only for its cultural value. it's just a piece of good story.

demon slayer

i like returning to this story from time to time. it's comforting. everyone deserves a little bit of tanjiro in their life

no touching at all

one of the first yaois i have ever read, still one of my favorites, and another re-read only confirmed me in my opinion. amazing slice of life story with the right pinch of angst to it

boy meets maria

this story teared me into tiniest pieces, chewed through, swallowed, spat me out and chewed again. and i mean this in the most positive way possible. brilliantly brutal.

a story of seven lives

expected a sweet story about pets. got hit by a bus. surprisingly complex story about loneliness, survival, love and trust. but if you're sensitive to the topic of animal abuse...better avoid it. don't fall for a cute cover, it's a hurt/comfort story

home office romance

i admit, i got it only because i saw higuruma in that guy. i stayed for the story. it's such a warm, adorable and hot nerd 4 nerd romance! it's sweet but knows where to add spice, and the author knows how to build the tension.

under my skin

yeah, it's a gay smut. but what kind of gay smut. if you like mature characters and guys in suits being bottoms, that's the meat for you. sex scenes are so hot they got a bl veteran like me blushing.

kabukicho bad trip

yeah, it's a gay smut x2. but also an interesting take on dom/sub relationship. i don't see many bdsm manga around, i'm going to cherish this find

goodbye, eri

it's tatsuki fujimoto, do i need to say more?

sesame salt & pudding

age gap enjoyers, i'm pspspsing you closer. hot dilf, hot fmc, hot plot and hot sense of humor - and everything sprinkled with the perfect dose of mature approach to the topic. must read, if you're into this

jujutsu kaisen

no matter what the fandom will bark, i loved the ending. i am not kidding, this manga has dragged me through 2024 and i'm not sure if would still be alive if not for gege and his characters.

octave

i was making faces because idols and music aren't my thing but i thought it because i gotta support queer manga market here in poland. and i was swallowed. idk what it says about me that i vibe so much with stories about loneliness and self re-discovery.

nichijou complex

this has no right to be so relatable and funny?? an unexpected take on relationship crisis and aging. plus dilfs are hot. in a dilf way hot.

home far away

people died. i'm the people. i don't think i will ever recover from this.

kaiju no 8

give kafka's tum back ffs. i have a little love-hate relationship with this title because it could be EVERYTHING i want from a shounen...and turned into the most generic thing ever. but it still has kafka. even if they absed him.

dandadan

i have no fucking idea what is going on here but i also have no fucking idea what is going on in chainsaw man and i ride this bus for 2 years now so-

blue lock

horrible soccer manga. wonderful gay teen drama manga. grew way too invested for something that had me facepalming every 3 pages at some point. i still lowkey hope shidou will eat that ego freak alive at the end.

honorable mention to series i read 1st volume for a try and 100% will continue in 2025 because they got me locked in:

[rocket325]

Shinobu Sensui and Suguru Geto are both characters in my top 3 villains list which makes sense due to the fact that they're both so similar, in fact Gege Akutami has admited to being inspired by Sensui when creating Geto. However, I find myself liking them for different reasons.

With Geto what I like most about him is his relationship to Gojo and his fall to evil. When we first see Geto (at least not Psuedo-Geto/Kenjaku) it's in JJK 0, we see him at possibly the height of evilness: he hates non-sorcerers to the point of calling them all "monkeys" therefore disregarding them all as uncivilized yet he benefits off their money, in fact he hates them so much that on Christmas Eve he starts the Night Parade of One Hundred Demons which results in the death and injuries of multiple civilians in Japan and despite not hating them he's willing to kill Yuta, Panda, and Inumaki to achieve his goal of getting Rika to succeed in the Night Parade of 100 Demons (keep in mind he considers Maki to be a "monkey") But we also see that he was close to Gojo and in a way is still friendly to him, he doesn't seem to consider him as an enemy per say just someone in the way of achieving his goal. Not to mention we do see that Geto isn't entirely evil and does care for sorcerers with his two "daughters"(forget their names right now)

Sure all the things I mentioned above are interesting and are good for villain but if Geto was only in JJK 0 I don't see him making my top 5 Villains list.

What makes me put Geto in my top 3 villains lost is seeing his fall in the Hidden Inventory Arc. We see at the start of this arc that Geto's ideals are a complete 180 of how they were in JJK 0, instead of hating them, he believes that non sorcerers need to be and should be protected by sorcerers. We see the peak of his and Gojos relationship as well. However, as the arc progresses we get to see his decline. When he and Gojo are tasked with protecting and escorting the star plasma vessel, Riko to Tengen we see how the care for making her last day on special while protecting her from everyone trying to kill her. It even gets to the point where Geto gives Riko the choice to continue living her life and she is about to accept the offer but then she's killed by Toji Fushiguro, a man with no cursed energy. What further hammers the nail is when Geto and Gojo are carrying Rikos dead body and the entire crowd reacts with applause.

It then time skips to a year later, Gojo is only getting stronger, Shoko is a healer, but Geto isn't progressing at all and he's clearly in a bad mental state, He goes around absorbing curses which from what we're told taste terrible. We see his conversation with Haibara and how his ideals match Getos at the start of the arc and how Geto wishes he could go back to thinking that way. His conversation with Yuki further causes him to believe all non-sorcerers have to be removed. Then there's the conversation at the KFC(?) with Gojo the every famous "Are you the strongest because you're Saturo Gojo or are tou Saturo Gojo because you're the strongest." line. This conversation clearly has a deep impact on Gojo and he doesn't want Geto to go down this path. The final thing that hammers the nail into the coffin is how his "daughters" (again forget theor names and ik they're not biologically related) were being treated in their village.

As for Sensui, while his fall to evil is certainly interesting that wasn't what made his my favorite anime villain of all time. What I personally find more interesting is his parallel to Yusuke, his inability to realize the grey between the black and white, his refusal to truly believe the fact that it's him Shinobu Sensui doing all of these bad things therefore making different personalities just to runaway from it, his searching for a meaningful death especially after having only 2 weeks left to live, how the "fake" Sensui Seven represents the 7 deadly sins, and how the "real" Sensui Seven represents the 7 deadly sins.

In short I love both of these characters especially as villains and think they're amazing written. I also want to note that whenever I referring to my "top villains" I meant anime villains, I personally like villains such as Bane, Two-Face, Darth Maul, and Darth Vader a bit more but both Sensui and Geto are in my top ten villains of all time list. If you want to know the other villain in my top 3 anime vilalins it's Cell, certainly not as well written as the other two but I think he has a cool concept and love how he is the embodiment of a perfectionist complex

[sidecharactersdomatter]

Thoughts I had during TGCF S2 Ep 3

Let’s make the best of Summer Vacation

CW: Past trauma

Previously on TGCF…

-We’re back in Ghost City

-It’s a Ghoulish mob!

-The same bandaged boy from episodes 2-4 in S1

-Thank you Qianqiu

-Riot!  Riot!!!

-The same old cartoonishly violent dust cloud with people fighting in it, classic

-Qingxuan’s face XD

-Yep it is him

-Oh no he doesn’t like touching

-Yeah he does know the kid

-‘Oh joy’ is right!

-A chase!

-Oh no!  Not the mask stall!

-Got any Yuan on you Xie Lian?

-It’s the Blue Spirit from ATLA (that’s the first thing that came when I first saw the waning moon officer)

-That guy has a red lantern shaped eyeball for a head

-Oooh the Ghost city outskirts

-It’s Yubaba’s manor from the Spirited Away movie My sis’s quote: Xie Lian!  Don’t give anyone your true name!

-The manor’s interior feels like the fancy restaurants I’d go with my extended family Sis: Yeah except for the dancing ladies

-This is giving Bollywood vibes

-It’s your man!

-Oooh a flashback!  800 years ago…  

-Those maids are wearing Hanfu reminiscent of the Han Dynasty style

-That’s Alexis Tipton

-“If a foil palace falls it can be rebuilt, but if a son falls ill it won’t be so easy to put him back together again” That is some solid advice

-He looks and sounds adorable!  “I hate it when they fall apart!”  That complain letter ties in with what happens when he’s older…

-Does anyone know who voices Child!Xie Lian?

-His mother’s design is also inspiration for one of my ATLA OCs

-This was me with Kapla blocks, colorized

-It was a few days ago!

-It’s the same music from Ep 9 in the Sinner’s pit

-The shots of Hualian together!!!  Those are the best crumbs!

-It’s the engagement ring from Ep 12!

-“Xie Lian you wound me!  You think I’d go to a brothel?”  My reaction: ���A soup place? (Futurama reference, it’s in one of the revival eps)

-Hua Cheng: Brothels, bad.  Interior design, good.

-“I haven’t had a home for the past 800 years…” that line hit hard.

-Hong Jue again!!!!

-“Always how dangerous” 10/10 best flirting

-Flashbacks from S1 eps 3-4

-You gotta love Hua Cheng’s commitment

-Good shot of the Ghost masks

-Hua Cheng’s quote on power is secretly inspiring

-And he accomplished what Ling Wen couldn’t in mere seconds!

-Not so rough Waning moon officer

-Still touch aversive

-“Who am I to deny your wish?” *fans myself non stop*

-Great.  Now I’ve got a craving for dragon fruit, strawberries and mango slices

-“Yong’An.”Oh no his answer triggered XL’s PTSD

-Everything really did change when Bai Wuxiang attacked

-That spiral effect

-To quote on meme made for S2 on tumblr: 

Xie Lian:  It can’t be!  That boy’s homeland shouldn’t be Yong’An!

Hua Cheng:  Yeah, yeah Gege, Let’s get you to sleep.

(My older sister loved that reaction, that’s for sure) 

-The sword’s eye woke up!

-When the house is so well decorated you forget about the mission…

And my older sis would also say: Now he’s draping himself

-The demonic chanting he does while dashing around the manor

-It is Yubaba’s manor from Spirited away

-That was close!

-He just did Yor Forger’s ceiling jump from Spy x Family

-It’s a 12

-Yeah he’d just end up with snake eyes the whole time

-He’s onto you Xianle, best headcanon I’ve got is that Xie Lian is a terrible liar.

-“Useless idiot” yep keep it coming with the Qi Rong roasts

-There’s a Dragon relief on the door

-It’s the earthbending sound effect from ATLA when the huge stone door closed

-This brings me back to the very first Ep when XL defeated the demon at Yinian bridge

-Man, Imagine Sokka in Hua Cheng’s armory doing the same scene from Sokka’s Master (Instant comic inspiration!):

-Dude really thought of the best gift for his highness (I’m really glad I finished this reaction on XL’s B-Day!)

-The exchanged humor on tending to the armory!

-Here it comes!

-And now, here are my translations of the Crimson rain sough flower’s scimitar:

E Ming, wakes up: Who’s that?  Who’s there?

Xie Lian: Hello.  *chuckles*. It’s cute!

E Ming, hearing Xie Lian’s compliment: He thinks I’m cute!!!

Xie Lian: Isn’t that nice?  Well I like you too.

E Ming, hearing more of XL’s compliment: Awww!  Stop it!  You should totally pet me!

Hua Cheng: No

E Ming, now excited: YES!!!

(I love how Hua Cheng and E Ming’s whole dynamic when it comes to Xie Lian’s affection is basically, Hua Cheng: E Ming no!  E Ming: E Ming YES!  Imma go sketch that out!)

E Ming, getting petted: Oh yes!  Yes!  Right there, and near the hilt!

-He’s gonna touch the deadly scimitar, he’s touching the deadly scimitar, he touched the sword

-They tended his wounds!

-This has the energy of two hardworking dads tending to their adopted son while they’re both busy with jobs

-He’s honoring Xiao Ying with her name, that’s good

-Just like Lang Qianqiu!

-Every night at Paradise Manor is Dim Sum night

-It looks like a red bean roll cake

-Another quick 800 year flashback!

-Those glasses look like Jade

-That maid has lighter brown hair

-This is what happens when you accidentally drink through the wrong pipe

-Qingxuan is the wingman/woman

Finished just in time for Xie Lian’s Birthday! Also when I heard that a short film and movie were announced!!! Everything’s coming up TGCF and it’s awesome! For those of you reading The Scrap Immortal and the Avatar, I’ve got a great start on Chapter 1 so hang tight this weekend! More reactions will be coming out this week!

[cruyuu]

Last chapter leaked and is so, so bad

Hi anon.

I've actually skipped looking at leaks this time (and would do so in the future) because I've wanted to experience one chapter in its entirety and not just have it vaguely translated. Besides, I started to really hate how popularized leak culture is in this fandom. It's gotten so bad to the point that some people don't even read chapters, they just read leaks and that's it.

I understand why you might think it's bad. I also think so. There's two chapters left and, as a fan of the story, I dislike the direction of everything. It feels rushed and forced... it isn't fulfilling at all. I'm happy for those who do think it's good but for me it's a hard miss. Landings in shonen usually aren't pretty though so I'm used to it. (and even though there are two chapters left it still wouldn't change much really.)

As a Yuuji fan though, oh am I having fun lol.

I'm going to put the rest behind the cut (which is my opinion on this chapter).

We get explanations because of course we do. There were many fans who disapproved and called bs on the way the entire Sukuna fight was handled. I have to admit that even though I do think what Gege wrote makes sense, it still feels overtly complicated and just a tad plot convenient how everything played out perfectly. It's all just... I don't know. Too much explanation and little to do with imagination. I'm not a child so I don't need a chapter dedicated to spelling out little things that could've easily been mentioned at an according time (like during the battle).

Still... the way the powers work here in this story does require you to really sit and think and do require block after block of text. This is the one part that I never liked about jjk because explanations like these make character-oriented moments feel less alive and make all of them behave like a bunch of dolls because one moment you'll see them talking but the next panel you're met with a whole class on jujutsu. It was always bizarre to me how little interaction there was between characters... hell if you take away the class sessions, they rarely have moments where they talk amongst themselves for themselves instead of giving a lesson on jujutsu or strategizing. It's admittedly a bit strange but oh well... it is what it is ig.

There's a reason (aside from certain characters being hot) why jjk's tag on ao3 has a lot of works. Some people take what we know and expand on it in a far less Gege-way by having characters interact with each other. I have grown to like more characters in fics way more so than in canon. In canon, only a handful of characters get my love and I'm sad to admit that those that do (such as Maki and Higuruma), quickly slip out of that loving spot and now I can't really feel as happy as I did about them before.

On that note, I haven't felt anything when Higuruma showed up alive. Yep lmfao. I used to feel for this man a lot and he is one of my top 3 (aside from Yuuji and Sukuna) but... I can't say I am happy that he's back. Now his sword disappearing in Yuuji's hand is for nothing and him clearly dying in front of Yuuji was for nothing. I still do love him and can't really dislike him (absolutely not) but canon... man the story really is kicking me in the butt when it comes to execution because ever since 265, the story had been a literal mindfuck. When I think I have a sense of where it is going to go, it goes a total opposite direction (and usually the one that doesn't really fit the vibes of the previous chapter). To me... the story's now all over the place which is contradictory because everything is being spoonfed to the readers and everything is "fine and dandy".

I still will complain because Shibuya arc had me thinking that I'd be reading something different (like CSM did) but then... here we are. There are practically no real consequences (aside from Gojo) in the Sukuna battle but at this point I wouldn't be surprised if he, too, gets a pass and gets resurrected. I would love nothing more than to read a shonen where the dead don't come back and where there's actual troubling consequences but then that wouldn't really be a shonen but would be a different genre all together (a seinen) so... yeah. I'm not going to count in Megumi's sister (because she's barely even a character) nor reincarnated cursed spirits (because we couldn't really even invest ourselves in them before they were gone) so you could say the only real casualty of the whole vs. Sukuna (aside from the Merger which wasn't even a real threat since Kenjaku wasn't even that intent on that plan in the end) is my time.

I'm just joking ofc, but I hope you get my point. It's not rewarding, not fulfilling and definitely not a good conclusion for someone who could barely even invest themselves into other characters. I still can't give a fuck about Yuta, or Kusakabe, or Panda. I feel just as stone-faced as Nobara and Yuuji did during the latter half of 268 when Megumi joined them. It's all so... whatever. (and it's kinda hilarious to me because the fandom is losing their minds and meanwhile the characters are lowkey behaving like dolls lol)

Still for those who did enjoy this and do love how everything is unraveling and so on and so forth, good for them. I'm just stating my opinion. Some might get the impression that I would love for jjk to be a tragedy, and tbh, I would not but I really would've loved if Gege, as an author, made me care about the side characters more. Instead the side characters to me feel like empty husks and I attached myself to Yuuji because his development seemed interesting only for it all to amount to weird ass interaction with the entire cast and back to being benched. He's literally playing spectator now in this chapter and yeah... it's really disappointing.

Again, two chapters left and this is where we're at. Lol.

I don't want to be a killjoy but yeah. It's not all so bad really but it is frustrating how little there is about the world and in general how many things have been shelved in favor of what we got now. Instead of seeing these interactions (which was just recycled "ok so this happened which wasn't explained") we could've gotten explanations regarding Yuuji's linage, his talk with Gojo, or for that matter, had character behave a little less like npc's in a video game that repeat the same dialogue when you come up to talk with them.

What this chapter did reveal which was also funny (said with anger btw) to me is this:

So Yuuji's "gloves" weren't really a cool feature that came from swallowing his half-brothers but by mr. Chosen One himself. Le big sigh.

Okay so... the Yuta glaze. No offense to people that like him but since when did he develop this much that he overshadowed everyone (even the King of Curses) in the end? Not only is his plan this successful but turns out that without him, everything would've failed.

I'm just straight up baffled at the amount of attention he's getting because last time I checked he wasn't the one who brought back the literal threat of the series and had absolutely no connections with the secondary antagonist (Kenjaku). Instead of the supposed main character who never had gotten the spotlight in his own fucking story (which is just proving those haters right atp because truly what the actual hell is jjk about? Everyone but Yuuji.) to get something that belongs to him... Nope. None of that.

If you thought this was an actual serious story then well... jokes on you. This panel is actually lowkey hilarious but because I really had grown fond of the story I just find it frustrating.

Yeah I... I don't know what to say really but Gege really disappointed me with this. I'm not much hopeful for the future (because the writing does feel quite cheap) and therefore will stop treating jjk like I did before. Does this mean that I hate it? No. I'm just disappointed.

I will keep my head up for like two chapters more since I'm curious what else can happen but then will definitely move on. Not from the characters tho who (luckily) can exist outside of canon. Yuuji and Sukuna will always be my babies and others are still there in my heart even though I'm very much so frustrated with the story.

So yeah... there you go. I probably might skip answering asks regarding the chapters in the future bc I really don't care anymore. If Yuuji's linage get addressed (which is the only thing I care about atp bc everything else is starting to annoy me) I might be okayish with whatever the hell we get as the ending.