#GAY VOLLEYBALL PEOPLE- */explodes | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

mizunetzu · 4 years

Note

iwaizumi finding out hes gay and having an extreme gay panic when they get their new manager in aoba johsai and the team teases him to hell and back for it (iwaizumi x male manager!)

Nice to see you again, boke saiikai~~ also look at iwa freak out in this gif AHAHAHA

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Iwaizumi x reader - Iwa-chan, Panic!

⚠️warnings - none

Pronouns - male, he/him

——————

Iwaizumi lazily scratched the itch on his stomach, not caring that his shirt was slightly lifted up and people could see his stomach if they looked. Eh, it’s not like people were around anyways.

He was already running late to practice, so he might as well reserve his energy and take a detour to the gym. It’s not like anything important was happening anyways.

“Yo.” Iwaizumi yawned, pushing the door to the gymnasium open. He slipped through, only now realizing that no one answered his greeting. He also noticed everyone was gathered into a loose semi-circle, apparently looking at something Iwaizumi couldn’t quite make out.

“What's...goin’ on guys?” Iwaizumi neared the huddle of Seijoh volleyball players. Matsukawa turned around, seemingly the only one who heard Iwaizumi in the first place. Mattsun nudged his head towards the middle of the circle, the clearing, where someone was standing.

“New manager.”

Iwaizumi’s ears perked up. Oikawa was complaining about ‘having at least one manager before he graduates’ but also ‘one that’s not one of my fangirls, because they wouldn’t take good care of the team.’ As insensitive as it sounded, having a manager drool and follow Oikawa for the majority of practice instead of doing their job does sound pretty frustrating. Iwaizumi scratched his head.

“Don’t tell me Shittykawa finally found a girl who doesn’t fawn over him.”

Matsukawa shook his head.

“Not girl.” He pointed to the boy standing there awkwardly, moving out of the way slightly so Iwaizumi could see. “It’s a boy.”

Iwaizumi’s eyes trailed from his feet, up to his firm-looking torso, and trailing around his nice-looking arms and hands. He couldn’t help himself from checking this dude out. Maybe he was just curious as to why this boy joined as a manager and not a player-

Iwaizumi’s eyes finally met the boy's glass-like (e/c) ones. He realized now that as he stared at this boy's mesmerizing eyes, his own (e/c) eyes began to stare back at him. Stare with his eyes growing wide, a cute doe-like expression on his face. But all he could see was his breathtaking, iridescent eyes.

“Uh, earth-to-(L/n)-chan?” Oikawa, who was standing next to ‘(L/n)’, waved his hand in front of his deer-in-the-headlights-face. He visibly jumped, blinking a bit, and turned his head quickly, pretending he was staring at Oikawa the whole time.

However, it wasn’t the same for Iwaizumi. He continued to stare with his mouth parted slightly, absolutely mesmerized by this guy’s handsome face. It seemed so...holdable. Like he wanted to walk up to him and hold his face in his callused hands and just...stand there. Forever. Squishing his cute face in his hands.

Cute? Cute? No. No. No. Not cute. Iwaizumi Hajime was not finding a man cute. No, not in a million years.

So why was his heart pounding in his ears so much?

His heart wouldn’t calm down. His everything wouldn’t calm down. He couldn’t tear his eyes off the new manager boy in front of him, immersing himself in conversation with a blush to shake off the fact he was totally staring back. He couldn’t help but feel confused. For once, he felt jealous of Oikawa. Not because he wanted to be popular or stalked by fangirls or anything, but because this boy’s full attention would be on him, and not Shitty-Crappy-Stupidkawa.

Matsukawa snapped his fingers in front of Iwaizumi’s face, smirking when he threw his head back in surprise with the reddest face he’s ever seen him with. Iwaizumi blinked, blankly, trying to process what just happened, before somehow exploding into a deeper shade of red.

“Are you sick or something?” Matsukawa placed the back of his hand on Iwaizumi’s forehead jokingly. “Oh. Nevermind.”

“Wh...I-I...huh..?”

“You’re just gay.” Matsukawa wiped his hand on his practice shirt. “Super gay. Super highschool level gay. You were totally checking out Manager-kun there.”

Iwaizumi grabbed Matsukawa by the collar, shaking him around in hopes of shaking the truth out of him.

“I-I’m not!”

“First symptom: denial.”

“Shut up-!”

“E-excuse me…?” Iwaizumi stopped dead in his tracks. Matsukawa was one second away from bursting out into cackles at Iwaizumi’s impossibly pale face. They both slowly craned their necks towards the foreign voice. Iwaizumi suddenly forgot how to breathe.

He, ‘Manager-kun’, seemed more utterly breathtaking up close. He was standing right infront of Iwaizumi, looking directly at him with his attractive (e/c) eyes. He didn’t even realize when Matsukawa wormed out of his grasp.

“(L/n)-san, good afternoon.” Matsukawa bowed slightly. “My name’s Matsukawa Issei, by the way. Thank you again for being our manager. We look forward to working with you.”

“Ah...thank you.”

When Matsukawa looked back at Iwaizumi, expecting him to introduce himself, he caught Iwaizumi staring at him with goo-goo eyes and an equally confused, frozen-stiff expression from Manager-kun himself. They stared at each other, one from awkward silence and the other from pure, unadulterated gayness. Matsukawa rolled his eyes.

“Dude!” Matsukawa jabbed Iwaizumi in the side, making him snap out of his trance with a grunt. “Don’t be rude, introduce yourself to Manager-kun!”

Iwaizumi broke into a cold sweat. He turned back to ‘Manager-kun’, attempting to look as cool as possible.

“Y-yo...the name’s Iwaizumi HaJIMe-” Iwaizumi’s voice did not want to be on his side today. The betrayers that were his vocal cords cracked mid sentence, making Iwaizumi cough horrendously in hopes of covering it up. Mattsun looked like he was going to die holding in his laughter.

“Nice to meet you, Iwaizumi-kun,” Manager-kun grasped his hand in his own, and held it for a moment. “My name’s (L/n) (Y/n).”

He, (Y/n), flashed a small, friendly smile, and Iwaizumi was taken. With the way (Y/n) held his hand so tenderly, he could probably faint. He’d rather die than let go. It was so warm, his hands were so warm. God, he felt so soft inside.

“...Y’know, if you aren't feeling well, I can take you to the nurse’s office-”

“No-! It’s-it’s fine! I’m fine!” Iwaizumi sputtered, and he silently whined when (Y/n) pulled his hand back. He stepped back, and gave a small wave.

“That’s good, Iwaizumi-kun. Well, I just wanted to introduce myself to everyone. See you later, Matsukawa-kun. Iwaizumi-kun.” (Y/n) smiled again, and left to introduce himself to another teammate. Once (Y/n) was out of earshot, Matsukawa erupted into a fit of cackles.

“Pfft-ahahahahaha! Dude! Y-you-! Ahahahaha! You need to chill man! At this point everyone’s gonna know you went all-“ Mattsun mimicked Iwaizumi’s wide-eyed expression, bringing his hands together and pretending he was a moe schoolgirl. “Kyaaah! (L/n)-senpai is soooo handsome!”

“SHUUUUUT UPPPPPP!” Iwaizumi started kicking at Matsukawa’s shins and hitting his back, trying to silence his cackles and hope (Y/n) didn’t hear that. Or see the huge red blush on his cheeks.

Oikawa side-eyed Iwaizumi and Matsukawa from the net pole. His hands were still moving on setting up the net for practice, but his eyes were examining the two fellow third years roughhousing with each other. More specifically, the red that engulfed Iwaizumi’s face. Oikawa turned his attention back to the pole.

——

‘Just do it!’

Those three words played on repeat in Iwaizumi’s mind for the past 2 weeks. And they seemed to get louder when Iwaizumi arrived to practice.

‘Just do it, Hajime!’

‘No!’ Iwaizumi thought back to himself, watching as (Y/n) greeted everyone who came through the club room door. He was standing outside, holding a box with supplies stuffed in it. Iwaizumi dreadfully neared the club room.

‘Do it! Now!’

‘No! Fuck no!’

“Ah! Hello again, Iwaizumi-kun-“

“No!” Iwaizumi blurted out. He was quick to cover his mouth, but the look of confusion that knitted (Y/n’s) face was enough to tell he had heard Iwaizumi loud and clear.

“Uh. I mean. Good mor-uh good afternoon, (L/n). Sorry bout’ that.” Iwaizumi trudged into the club room as nonchalantly as he could. But once the door closed, he slumped down to his knees.

“Something wrong, Iwa-chan?” Oikawa mused, slipping on his blue practice shirt over his head. “You look like shit.”

“Y-you’re one to talk, Shittykawa! Go die!”

“Uuu! How mean! Mean Iwa-chan!”

“Yeah yeah.” Iwaizumi hastily slipped into his practice clothes. Oikawa watched his face closely. It was redder than usual.

“Hey, Iwa-chan?”

Iwaizumi looked up from his knee pads, halting temporarily as he threaded them through his leg. “Mm?”

Oikawa opened his mouth, then glanced to the door where (Y/n) was standing outside of. Not yet. He didn’t have enough evidence yet.

“Never mind.” Oikawa rubbed the back of his head cutely.

——

Iwaizumi slumped down on the steps of the gym, heaving like he ran 13 miles. Well, he did. He watched as everyone came trickling back, Oikawa yelling praise as they all collapsed in front of the gym. Training runs across the block were tough. Especially after an exhausting practice match against each other.

“Good job, everyone!” Oikawa clasped his hands together. “Get some water, go rest, do whatever! We’re gonna do some serving and receiving practices, then we can take a break!”

The tuckered-out team choursed out a “Yessir!” before scattering about and doing their own things. Iwaizumi let his head loll back onto the concrete steps he was sitting on, closing his eyes and catching his unsteady breath.

“Iwaizumi-kun!”

Iwaizumi jolted up harshly, a blush adorning his features as his eyes snapped open. (Y/n) looked down at him with a small white towel in his hand and a water bottle in the other.

“I figured you needed some water or something so-I got you some stuff-!” (Y/n) promptly set the things down on Iwaizumi’s lap, though he’s not sure he noticed with the way he was staring at him so...strangely. Huh, that’s been happening for a while now.

Iwaizumi’s dazed look suddenly dissipated, his consciousness coming back to his eyes as he fumbled for the items slipping from his lap.

“Oh! Thank you...dude…! You’re…you’re...cool...f-for that…!”

Iwaizumi shot finger guns at his (Y/n). His crush. Fucking finger guns. He wouldn’t mind if he took his finger guns and shoved it so far up his a-

“It’s no problem!” (Y/n) shot finger guns back, before flexing an arm and patting his bicep. “It’s what a manager is for! Makin’ sure you boys are alright.”

“I’m gonna go fill up some more water bottles...l stopped and filled one up for you first because you looked thirsty…”

(Y/n) ran off. “See you!” He called from a distance, before disappearing from sight. Iwaizumi waved back with a blank expression on his face.

His legs felt like jelly. Not only because he ran 13 miles non-stop, but because of how whipped he became for manager-kun (Y/n) in the span of only a week or two.

Oikawa hummed to himself knowingly, watching Iwaizumi slump back onto the concrete steps with a hand in his heart.

——

“Iwa-chan, Iwa-chan, Iwa-chan!”

“No! No! No!”

“But why?!” Oikawa exasperatedly yelled, dramatically blocking the door leading outside the club room. It was just him, Iwa-chan, Mattsun, and Makki. Makki and Mattsun sat on the floor of the club room like they were expecting Iwaizumi to come in, and from the way they didn’t try to stop Oikawa from blocking the door, they knew the same things he did.

“Let me out shithead!” Iwaizumi clawed at Oikawa’s arms. Oikawa, as twinkish and childish as he seems, was actually stronger than he looked.

Eventually, Iwaizumi stepped back to take a breather. Matsukawa and Hanamaki took that as their chance to secure him, as Hanamaki grabbed Iwaizumi by the torso and wrapped his whole body around him.

He held him as secure as he could while he thrashed around, waiting till Matsukawa hurriedly set up a foldable chair and brought out some rope. Hanamaki dragged Iwaizumi to the chair, ignoring his pleads of “Let me go!” or “Y’all will pay for this-I swear!” As he forcefully sat him down.

He held his hands to the back of the chair as Matsukawa tied him up as quick as he could.

“Oi! What the fuck!” Iwaizumi kicked at Matsukawa as he circled him with the rope.

“It’s for your own good, Iwa-chan.” Oikawa piped up from his spot blocking the door. He didn’t want to move from the door until Iwaizumi was fully immobilized, just in case he tried to run for it.

“Like hell it is-ack!” Matsukawa tightened the rope. “Ease up, will you! God damn!”

“Sorry, sorry.” Matsukawa, in fact, did not ease up. He tied the rope into multiple tight knots, making it virtually impossible to somehow slip out of them. Iwaizumi squirmed around in his restraints as the chair was rotated facing away from the door, and towards Hanamaki and Matsukawa.

Oikawa sighed triumphantly, and backed away from the door. He clasped his hands together.

“So nice of you to finally join our discussion, Iwa-chan.”

“Literally suck my dick then go practice receives on a nearby building and fall to your death.”

Oikawa feigned offense to Iwaizumi’s words. Hanamaki chuckled, while Matsukawa shut Iwaizumi up by tugging at the rope’s end he was holding in his hands.

“Isn’t this illegal? Like-somewhere in the world?”

“It isn’t right now~” Oikawa sung, before becoming laughably serious. “Now! We need some answers!”

“More like you couldn’t contain your curiosity or ask Iwaizumi like a normal person.”

“Makki! You’re supposed to be on my side!” Oikawa blurbed, before coughing and regaining his cool integrator vibe. “Anyways!” Oikawa snapped harshly at Iwaizumi.

“You! Have a! Crush! On Manager-chan!”

Iwaizumi choked on his own spit. He turned away dumbly, with a coy look on his face.

“Dunno what you’re talking about.”

“Don’t play dumb! We all see the looks you give him! ‘Fess up, Iwa-chan! You’re absolutely totally whipped for (Y/n)-chan!”

Iwaizumi stiffened. “Since when were you two on a first name basis-!”

“See?! You got mad when I called (L/n)-kun by his first name!”

“That doesn’t mean anything!” Iwaizumi barked. He was starting to sweat now. Were these restraints always so stuffy? “I was just wondering why you called him that!”

Oikawa stuck his tongue out. “Just say you like him we’ll let you go~!”

“Never! No way in hell!”

Oikawa gasped. He pointed dramatically at Iwaizumi. “So you do admit it! You’re totally in love with Manager-kun but you don’t wanna say it!”

“Wh-?!” Iwaizumi sputtered. He kicked around in his restraints, making Matsukawa tug at the rope again. He was thrashing around so much he didn’t hear the door open. “When did I-“

“When did I ever say I had a big ass fuckin’ crush on (L/n) that it made me question my whole sexuality?! But that I couldn’t care less since he’s so...so nice and cute and-fuck!”

Matsukawa and Hanamaki paled. They seemed to be looking at something behind Iwaizumi. Oikawa was still listening intently to Iwaizumi’s confession, not noticing whatever it was those two were staring at.

“Fuck! Fuck! I wanna grab his stupid face and kiss him all over! Fuck! Why is (Y/n) so cute! I wanna call him by his first name too! I wanna hug him and do things boyfriends do too! Fuck! I’m so-“

Oikawa’s eye eventually trailed up from Iwaizumi. He locked eyes with whatever was there, then immediately copied the same panicked ‘we’re dead’ look Hanamaki and Matsukawa had. He looked back at Iwaizumi with a sweaty, pale face.

“H-hey, Iwa-chan, that’s enough-you proved your point-“

“-I’M SO FUCKING GAY FOR (Y/N) IT HURTS!”

The three boys flinched, looking behind Iwaizumi with the same look you’d give when you got caught doing something bad. Iwaizumi was breathing heavily, slouched on his chair after his whole explosion of a confession. He looked at the three third years, who weren’t even looking back at him.

“...what? This is what you guys wanted right? To admit that I like (L/n-“

“I-Iwaizumi, you might wanna shut up…” Hanamaki said, his voice trembly. Matsukawa and Oikawa nodded.

“No! Why are y’all acting so weird! You guys were all up my ass about it, and now you’re telling me to shut up?!”

Matsukawa silently spun his chair around slowly, towards the door so he could see what they were all staring at.

“Honestly, if y’all weren’t expecting me to actually…confess…t-to…yooouuu…”

Iwaizumi’s voice progressively died down as he locked eyes with (Y/n), standing by the door with the reddest shocked face he’d ever seen. It was Iwaizumi’s turn to go pale.

“Uh...I-I heard...screaming...f-from the club room and...and I wanted to see if you guys were ok...um.” (Y/n) awkwardly swung his hands around, before letting them rest behind his back. “So…”

“Do you...really wanna ‘kiss me all over’ and do boyfriend-y stuff together…? With me…?”

Iwaizumi said nothing. He started squirming madly in his binds, trying to look anywhere else but (Y/n).

“Let me out let me out let me out let me out-!“

Iwaizumi only wriggled and kicked harder when (Y/n) started approaching him.

“LETMEOUTLETMEOUTLETME-uu-?”

(Y/n) balled up his fists, resting them rigidly on Iwaizumi’s lap as he clumsily pressed a kiss to his lips. His eyes were clamped shut, unlike Iwaizumi’s, who were wide open. He felt (Y/n) push closer, to which he let his body give in and relax, closing his eyes and tilting his head to deepen the kiss.

Matsukawa wolf-whistled, while Hanamaki yelled things like ‘Get it, Iwaizumi!’. Oikawa smiled triumphantly once more, clapping quietly. “Bravo! Yay Iwa-chan!”

Iwaizumi’s eyes were half-lidded as began to pull away. He let out a shaky sigh, watching Iwaizumi take breathless breaths in. Oikawa was still clapping in the background.

“Yay! Yaaaay Iwa-chan! Iwa-chan is happy and I fulfilled my promise! (L/n) will be Manager-kun for forever!”

Iwaizumi snapped out of his dazed trance to glare at Oikawa in confusion. “Huh?”

“Ara?” Oikawa tilted his head. (Y/n) caught on, and started violently shaking his head ‘no’, as well as flailing his arms around trying to shut him up.

“You don’t know why (L/n)-kun decided to join the club?”

Iwaizumi shook his head. (Y/n) whimpered slightly and covered his face in his hands.

“I told (L/n)-kun that if he became our manager, I’d find a way to get you to fall in looove with him. But it looks like I didn’t need to do anything~”

Oikawa chuckled. “He really only joined for you, y’know. When I went up to talk to him about being a manager, his eyes lit up and he said, and I quote: ‘I’ll do it if you set me up with your friend Iwaizumi-kun and get him to fall for me-! Kyaaa! Iwaizumi-kun is so tall dark and handsom-ow!”

Oikawa was abruptly cut off when Iwaizumi kicked him in the leg, as it was the only thing he could reach while he was still tied up. Iwaizumi turned to the side with a blushy pout.

“Y-you’re embarrassing him, idiot.”

“Aww look. He’s enjoying this.” Matsukawa snickered. Hanamaki chuckled as quietly as he could, both trying not to get kicked in the leg like Oikawa did. (Y/n) sank to the floor, defeated.

“Why did you tell Iwaizumi-kun...that’s so embarrassing…” (Y/n) groaned from the ground. He was still covering his face, so he didn’t notice when Matsukawa started untying Iwaizumi, or when Iwaizumi squatted down and placed his hand on top of (Y/n’s) head.

(Y/n) made a noise of surprise as Iwaizumi patted his head with a blushy scowl.

“S’ only fair that I know… I was pretty embarrassed too when you heard all those things I said about you... Eye for an eye and shit…”

(Y/n) said nothing as Iwaizumi continued to pat his head. They said nothing for a while, before Matsukawa silently whispered to Oikawa.

“Wait, if you knew that (L/n)-kun liked Iwaizumi, why did you look so scared when he walked in? You knew they liked each other.”

“Ah.” Oikawa rubbed the back of his head, watching as Iwaizumi and (Y/n) shyly exchanged phone numbers.

“I was scared that Iwa-chan was going to murder me.”

——————

Wanna know what makes my day? When people comment on my fics 💖 especially when they reblog and go crazy in the tags or even say something IN the reblog itself 💖💖💖 makes me feel all warm inside ✨

-Mr. Mizunetzu

#haikyuu x male reader #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu fic #haikyuu iwaizumi #iwazumi x male reader #hajime iwaizumi #iwaizumi fluff #iwaizumi x male reader #hajime iwaizumi x reader #iwa chan #iwa chan x male reader #iwa chan x reader #seijoh #aoba johsai #seijoh 3rd years #aoba johsai 3rd years #iwaizumi x you #hq iwaizumi #hq x male reader

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ffamranxii · 3 years

Text

HAIKYUU!! COUPLES HEADCANONS

DAISUGA

-Daichi goes to the gym to work out. Suga goes to the gym to ogle Daichi

-Suga has a massive sweet tooth

-Daichi cooks, Suga cleans

-Suga is a little shit who is not above seducing Daichi in public. He can say the most lewd things without batting an eye while Daichi blushes furiously

-Daichi and Kuroo once hooked up at training camp. They do not talk about it

-Daichi is good friends with Michimiya and Kiyoko. Suga is closer to Asahi

-Daisuga rarely fight and are often asked for relationship advice. Daichi tries to discourage this because “guys I didn’t realize Yui had a crush on me or that Suga was in love with me for three years.”

-Daichi can’t dance, won’t dance, and refuses to acknowledge the time he got trashed and twerked

-Suga dislikes his given name unless it’s said by Daichi, who is the only person allowed to call him Koushi

-Suga is extremely flexible. Daichi is not.

-Daichi or Suga getting hit on makes Daichi uncomfortable. Getting hit on amuses Suga, and Daichi getting hit on makes him horny

-It took all of high school for Daisuga to get together, because Daichi is oblivious and Suga assumed Daichi wasn’t into him. Daichi’s dumbness and their mutual pining becomes a fond, shared joke several years later

-Daichi has no gag reflex.

-Daisuga have a very fat, very orange cat named Ninja. He’s surprisingly fast and agile despite looking like a furry basketball. (Daichi is a dog person and did not even want Ninja at first. He suspects Kuroo had something to do with this. Suga sometimes playfully gets upset because “Ninja likes you better than me, Dai!”)

-Everyone expects Suga to be the dominant one but Suga is more than willing to be submissive for Daichi and has on several occasions

ASANOYA

-Noya gets up before sunrise to run. Asahi would rather die than leave his bed before 8am

-Noya turns the coffee pot on and cooks breakfast to lure Asahi out of bed

-Noya is surprisingly patient, gentle, quiet, and kind when it comes to Asahi and his insecurities

-Noya is the type to bottle his insecurities and fears until they explode. The only one who can calm him back down is Asahi

-Asahi makes bratty faces when he thinks Noya isn’t looking

-Noya and Tanaka spend a lot of time with Daisuga because of the Daichi&Suga&Asahi&Kiyoko friendship. Asahi and Ennoshita become good friends

-Asahi doesn’t understand the distance between Noya and his sisters because Asahi is very close to his

-It is impossible to embarrass Noya

-Asahi gets a lot of inspiration for his fashion designs from traveling with Noya

-Noya knows how to braid hair and likes to play with Asahi’s

-Asahi enjoys physical affection but dislikes overt PDA. Noya would happily climb Asahi like a tree in public if Asahi would let him

-Only Asahi calls Noya by his given name

-Noya knows he likes Asahi early on but Asahi’s panic (“omg someone LIKES me?? NOYA likes me?? My crush??”) at his confession prevent them getting together until after the Date Tech match (after Asahi rejoins the team).

-Noya is affected by wanderlust and that’s why he travels. Sometimes Asahi joins him. They get married in Canada during one of these trips. (I once read a fantastic asanoya fic where a significant event happened in Canada so Canada is my asanoya place now)

-Noya sends Asahi a postcard from every place he’s ever visited. Sometimes he’ll spend over half an hour trying to find the *best* one, only to buy them all and send them as a sort of big long letter. Asahi saves them all in a photo album that lives on the coffee table. (Some people have a coffee table book, Asahi has a photo album.)

-Noya prefers to top. The one thing he’s really uncomfortable with is being on the bottom (physically laying beneath someone and also sex).

KUROKEN

-Kuroken have a black cat and a calico and enjoy naps on the couch with the kitties. Kuroo has SO MANY pictures in his phone of Kenma curled around the kitties.

-Kuroo: “Love you.” Kenma: “Hate you.”

-Kenma CAN cook, but likes that Kuroo likes taking care of him

-Every game Kuroo has ever owned is multiplayer because he only games with Kenma

-Kenma’s favorite games involve critical thinking and puzzles. Kuroo enjoys watching him play

-Kuroo is an introvert masquerading as an extrovert. Kenma is an introvert. They enjoy quiet nights in.

-Kuroo has anxiety. Kenma always knows when Kuroo is anxious and how to fix it

-People make Kenma anxious. Kuroo makes himself anxious.

-Kenma’s nicknames for Kuroo are Kuro and Koroemon. Kuroo calls Kenma Kyanma and kitten

-Kuroo has been in love with Kenma for as long as he can remember, since they were kids. Kenma knows this, but doesn’t understand he feels the same way until Kuroo goes off to college

-Kuroo is the one who discovered Daichi’s lack of gag reflex. He’s delighted to learn that Kenma lacks one as well

-Kenma moves more slowly than Kuroo. He’s not as comfortable with physical affection and sex as Kuroo is. Their relationship progresses slowly, and Kuroo lets Kenma lead.

-After Kenma’s confession, how he feels about Kuroo is one of the very few things Kuroo does not doubt or make himself anxious over.

-Kuroo can, will, and has go(ne) on and on and ON about Kenma until someone shuts him up. It drives Yaku up the fucking wall in high school.

-Kenma does a retro game stream once or twice a month made up of games he and Kuroo used to play as kids. Kuroo actually games with him on those days and Kenma’s followers are quick to notice and speculate because Kenma has literally never gamed with another person in the same room before. Sometimes Kenma can only post the actual gameplay because Kuroo ruined the footage of them by being excessively sappy. (Kuroo is NOT above flirting and dirty talk to get an edge and Kenma doesn’t really think his fans need to know that.)

-Kuroken do not talk about Kuroo’s mom or sister

-The Kozumes love “Tetsu-chan” and Kuroo’s grandparents adore Kenma. Kuroken get along with each other’s families better than they do their own.

-Kuroo is tactile. He’s that ass-slapping friend. Kenma thinks he’s ridiculous

-Kuroo used to be dislike Hinata, because Kenma and Hinata are extremely good friends and Kuroo was afraid Hinata would take Kenma away from him. Kenma has assured him he doesn’t like Hinata like that but Kuroo doesn’t warm up until Hinata starts dating Kageyama

BOKUAKA

-Akaashi is 100% in charge of the house and the financials and his word is law. Not because he’s an asshole but because Bokuto is whipped

-Akaashi is a screamer. Bokuto has a big dick.

-Bokuto is the calmest between him and his sisters. His sisters have formed an Akaashi fanclub

-Bokuaka kiss a lot during sex

-Bokuto fucking loves owls

-Akaashi used to be embarrassed over being a manga editor but Bokuto thinks it’s the coolest job ever, “even better than mine!” When his authors need references, Akaashi sends them pictures of Bokuto. Bokuto takes this responsibility very seriously

-Bokuaka exclusively refer to each other by first name but Akaashi can’t break the habit of using -san

-Akaashi and Kenma are very good friends. Bokuto thinks they might even be better bros than him and Kuroo. (Kenma is one of the few people Akaashi calls by first name, and one of the only people who calls Akaashi by his.)

-Akaashi overthinks as a result of anxiety, but he doesn’t think he has anxiety. He prefers to call it “seeing the issue from all sides”

-Akaashi and Bokuto do yoga together. Bokuto behaves himself surprisingly well around Akaashi in yoga pants

-Akaashi decided to attend Fukurodani after watching Bokuto play and literally for no other reason

-Bokuaka are the embodiment of love at first sight and their relationship has an unreal, almost storybook quality to it because they are literally perfect for each other. Because of this, Bokuto doesn’t understand why other people struggle so much to start and maintain a relationship, no matter how many times Kuroo tells him “just because your relationship is straight out of a movie doesn’t mean the rest of the world works like that”

-Bokuaka have a koi pond in their backyard and have named all the fish. Bokuto always asks about them when he’s away for games

IWAOI

-Iwaizumi cooks and cleans because he’s always been the one taking care of Oikawa, but he refuses to fold the laundry because “I’m not doing everything for you, you fucking freeloader”

-Iwaizumi cooks healthy “old man food.” Oikawa’s sweet tooth suffers

-Oikawa is that guy who puts more cream and sugar and other additives in his coffee than actual coffee. He’s tried all of Starbucks’ seasonal drinks and never gets the same thing twice

-Iwaoi have very heated arguments about if Godzilla can kick King Kong’s ass or not. Iwaizumi of course sides with Godzilla

-Iwaoi once fought about the original purpose of Stonehenge and now no one can mention England without it coming back up

-Oikawa only became comfortable with his glasses because Iwaizumi likes them

-Iwaoi have been friends since they were in diapers. The whole volleyball team took bets on when they’d announce their relationship

-Both the Oikawas and the Iwaizumis respond when either boy calls for mom or dad. Oikawa calls his sister Nee-chan while Iwaizumi says Oneesan

-Iwaizumi’s favorite of Oikawa’s features is his legs. Oikawa is in love with Iwa’s arms

-Neither of them can remember when they started liking each other or how their relationship started

-Iwaoi are shockingly codependent and do NOT do separation (during university in Argentina/California or for away games) well

-Deep down Oikawa is extremely insecure and worries he isn’t enough - in volleyball, in school, in his family, in his relationship. Iwaizumi always knows when he’s putting on a front and how to cheer him back up

-Iwaizumi is secretly so soft and weak for Oikawa

-After the Olympics Iwaizumi moves to Argentina to be with Oikawa and they get married. They move back to Japan after Oikawa retires from volleyball and after gay marriage becomes legal there

-Oikawa keeps various plants around the house and the patio and is extremely proud of them. He paints all their pots and even names some of them (which Iwaizumi thinks is disgustingly cute). His most prized plant is a lucky bamboo he bought on a whim when iwaoi first moved in together.

-Oikawa can’t deepthroat. It makes him so jealous that Iwaizumi can

-Iwaizumi blushes whenever Oikawa gives him a genuine compliment

-Iwaizumi has a praise kink. Oikawa has a “whatever comes out of Iwa’s mouth” kink

-Iwaizumi has dom tendencies.

#haikyuu #headcanons #daisuga #asanoya #kuroken #bokuaka #iwaoi #updated it #sawamura daichi #sugawara koushi #azumane asahi #nishinoya yuu #kozume kenma #kuroo tetsurou #bokuto koutaru #akaashi keiji #iwaizumi hajime #oikawa tooru

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dwarfbutch · 3 years

Text

this is a thought that came to me as i was waking up from the worst nap of my life and saw like a million spiders crawling out of holes in the wall and couldnt tell dream from reality BUT i think if there was a poll on the internet that asked any and all haikyuu watchers (avid fans, people who have only seen a couple of episodes, lgbts, cishets, volleyball players, couch potatoes, etc...) to nominate JUST ONE character in the entirety of the series who they think could be gay (and im stressing the part where it has to be just one, this is an hypotethical poll where you can only pick one character and after that you can never ever take the poll again or your computer explodes) we would see a very clear schism between people who voted oikawa and people who voted suga. im talking ridiculous numbers too like almost a perfect 50/50 split with some rogue voters who picked like kenma or idk asahi, but the general consensus would be that if there was one single gay character in all of haikyuu it would either be oikawa or suga. this hypotethical poll would start the worst fucking discourse in the history of the internet with takes such as "saying suga is gay reinforces cisheteronormative standards" or "gay oikawa thruters characterize suga as toxic" this conflict would reach its peak after months of heated arguments on all social media platforms and multiple 5 hour long video essays when multiple voice actors from both the japanese and english version start either weighing in with their opinions or try to calm the two warring factions with pr reviewed statements. this would eventually lead to massive amounts of backlash to all those involved, starting an exteremely serious and lengthy conversation about whether cast members should get involved in this kind of discourse, with some people going as far as to say that anyone who isnt part of the lgbt community taking part in this is actively queerbaiting. all this would end after several more months of mayhem when haruichi furudate himself finally sends out a single tweet that simply states "youre all wrong it was actually takeda #gayrights", after which he promptly deletes all his social media accounts and disappears from the public eye never to be seen or heard of again.

#txt #hq #q slur

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leotssukinaga · 5 years

Note

yo can i rq kageyama, hinata and oikawa introducing a male s/o to the club/ publicly showing they're dating for the first time?? 💖

!!! hell yeah! I didn't know if you wanted scenarios or hcs so I did hcs I hope that's okay!!

Kageyama:

he was probably a little shy abt introducing you, not because you're a guy but because he knows what they're like lmao

he's not shouting his sexuality from the rooftops or walking around with rainbow pins on his badge but everyone in the club knows and it's in his twitter bio and he feels like that's enough

you've been asking to meet then for a while. you know hinata because you're in the same class but you've never met the rest of them, and hinata doesn't know you're dating tobio

so one day he's walking you home from school (you have a club which gets off around the same time as practice usually ends) and he asks you if you'll come to practice tomorrow morning

the excitement on your face melts him and he gets excited too

he's a few minutes late to practice the next day, wanting to make sure they'll all be there when the two of you walk in

he doesn't really know what to say by way of introduction so he just walks in holding your hand and hopes that's enough

hinata spots you immediately and shouts your name, running over to you

it takes a second for the fact that you're holding Kageyamas hand to sink in but when he does he's absolutely thrilled

the others follow him over

tanaka and noya lament the fact that he got an s/o before they did

daichi asks "is this why you've been calmer recently?" causing both of you to blush but tobio nods and you melt a little

"i can't believe someone tamed the king" tsukki no

"wait does that mean they're both kings" YAMAGUCHI NO

everyone's waiting for kags to explode but he just let's out a fake laugh and squeezes your hand a little tighter

holy shit someone really did tame the king

you love knowing that you calmed him down

for publicly showing you're dating he probably just like. tweets a photo of you kissing his cheek

doesn't wanna make a big deal abt it yk

most of the people he knows are in the vbc anyway so

Hinata:

things go pretty similarly just... louder

he runs in and shouts "GUYS MEET MY BOYFRIEND Y/N" and you're just like,,, babe calm dOwn omg

but you love him! in all his energetic over the top glory

he's literally never been quiet about his sexuality. imagine hinata being quiet about ANYTHING

makes "bc I'm gay" and "this is homophobia" jokes 98 times a day

"hinata why can't you hit the ball straight today" "bold of you to assume I can do anything straight" "hinata I am talking about volleyball not the fact that you're gay"

he's also never shut up about you from the moment you started dating

he asked you out after class and then immediately told everyone he knows when you said yes

probably has your name and the day you started dating in his bio

they all knew what you looked like since he tweets selfies with you every single day

and they already love you because you make him happy(er)

you sit on the bench with ukai, yachi and kiyoko

he shows off a lot

which pisses kageyama off

he literally asks you to leave and daichi has to defend your presence

"he's not affecting Hinata's playing, you can't kick him out"

"he's showing off"

"when is he not"

"ugh fine"

he grows to accept it tho

because daichis right, hinata is always showing off

(he just does it more for you)

Oikawa:

i dont think he's out at all tbh

doesn't wanna be hated or fetishised by his fans so he just like. didn't tell anyone

(except iwa)

but you've been w him for 3 months and he knows he loves you and he's ready

you're shocked and you tell him this

you ask him like 20 times if he's sure

you're happy though, you're lowkey so tired of the schools gossip twitter calling you "oikawas gay friend"

he doesn't take you to practice for a small meeting with the club he straight up just kisses you after they win a game

he doesn't even wait for you to come talk to him. he goes up to the bleachers the moment they finish, grabs you and kisses you.

everyone goes quiet, the other matches going on pause and everything

he couldn't care less. he has you

most people are supportive, the tea account calls you his boyfriend (and actually says your name!) and you now have an official invitation to all games and practices

the best part though? you finally get to hold his hand.

both of you are thrilled

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dunnystuff · 3 years

Text

Sent: Monday, June 07, 2021 2:31 PM

Subject: Rich's Blog

Hi to all -

Pride Flag

This symbol of gay pride has now been elevated to a status near to that of the US flag. Since this is gay pride month, that rainbow flag is being displayed at many of our embassies. That includes the Embassy at The Vatican. Somehow, I don't see this as improving our relations with the seat of the Catholic Church. American Catholics have reacted rather badly to this display. However, no such display is being done, to my knowledge, in Muslim nations. The Muslims tend to be violent about homosexuals.

AOC

This genius has found a solution to the crime problems, exploding in our cities all over the land. It is so simple, it is a wonder that intelligent people never thought of it ! Just stop building jails. No jails, no prisoners, and therefore, no crime. Wow !

Facebook

They have extended their ban on Trump until at least January 7, 2023. Actual criminals and hate groups are okay, however. Even state sponsored ones.

Kylee McLaugh

This young lady was captain of the volleyball team, and also a dedicated Christian. The University of Oklahoma banned her from the team, and demanded she take 'diversity' training (i.e. re-education camps), because of her views. She is suing the school for civil rights violations - specifically free speech. Also for persecuting her because of her beliefs. Could get interesting.

Rhode Island

Nicole Solas, a parent of a kindergarten student, asked the school to explain exactly what they were teaching their children about race and gender issues. Rumors were not encouraging to parents like her. Seems all this gender ID stuff and white hatred was all the rage in the school system. The school was evasive and vague, and would not tell her what they were teaching her children. So, she filed a FOIA request to find out. The school fought this, claiming she was trying to 'intimidate' the school. This has now grown to 200 requests, and the school will have to be forthcoming about the curriculum. Then they can deal with all those angry parents. Lawfare at work.

Mark Cuban

This billionaire owns the Dallas Mavericks, among other things. He stopped playing the National Anthem before games a few months back, so as not to offend the snowflakes. People did notice, and complained. There was no notice or announcement of this change, and that also offended people. Lt. Governor Dan Patrick actually did something. He suggested that Mark sell the team - there were plenty of patriots who would buy it from him, and continue to play our anthem. He also offered up to the state government 'The Star Spangled Banner Act', which denies any state funding for any team that does not play the anthem. Mark resumed playing the National Anthem soon afterwards.

Dr. Fauci

The more we see of his emails, the more guilty he looks. He at first gave stats that were more or less accurate on the progress of this virus, then changed his mind, and gave 'misleading' information. The actual death rate is about .04%, at the worst of the pandemic, a year ago. Fauci then compared it to a bad flu season. Then he used other math to make things seem a lot worse.

Remember that we are now in Phase 3 of the 'solution' to this virus? Phase 5 is when the Covid Cops go door to door and force everyone to take the shot.

If it was true that nearly 600,000 people in the US have died from Covid, then we should expect a spike in the death rates for the nation. Guess what, boys and girls - the death rate for last year was about 2.5 million for all causes. Virtually identical to the previous several years. What changed was the reported cause of death. Flu and other respiratory causes fell by more than 90%, being replaced by Covid. And, Covid was listed for things like auto accidents, gunshot deaths, and many other causes. Guess the Covid Cops didn't think to create false 'fake deaths', like all those fake votes.

Make-a-Wish

This foundation was set up to provide special care and services for children with terminal conditions. Their former CEO has pleaded guilty to fraud and embezzlement. Seems Jennifer Woodley gave herself fake bonus payments, fake pay raises, totaling about $41,000 and spent $23,000 on company credit cards for her personal use.

But, she cut a deal, to avoid the three ten year sentences that her crimes deserved. Instead, she will have to return the money, pay a fine, and serve five years probation. If she is a good girl, and does all that, then her criminal record will be expunged at the end. Pretty sweet deal.

Calvin Coolidge

Silent Cal was never regarded as one of our best presidents. But, he is underrated. He was perhaps the last to try to limit the office to what the Constitution designed, rather than expanding it to an imperial presidency. Congress was always trying to make the states into vassals of the federal government, rather than as free and independent units of a collective government. He was disliked by congress for his many vetoes of their pet projects. For example, he refused to allow the creation of many 'agencies' to 'regulate' things. He said, correctly, that the 'government did not have the authority to create bureaucratic agencies infused with legislative authority and lacking oversight.' He opposed bailouts, or even aid in local emergencies, as this would tend to addict those areas of the country or economy to government subsidies, rather than to solutions to their problems. Furthermore, such actions would make other Americans pay for those problems.

Can you imagine that happening today? We could do well with another Silent Cal.

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lonelypond · 4 years

Text

Soldier Game: Operation LA Smile

NicoMaki, Love Live, 5.2K, 1/?

Summary: Soldier Game is called in to protect a team of fashion designers who have been assigned to smuggle scientific data into a hostile United States. Working as models requires a new skillset and Nishikino Maki's first encounter with Yazawa Nico explodes with tension.

ROUND ONE

Sprawling government complex. Full of busy offices, tracking numbers and citizens, calls and meetings being held in a variety of languages. Competent, concerned, efficient bustle. Take a left at the Innovation For A Cool Earth Liaison office, down a very quiet hallway, and take an elevator to the second floor, where the lights were lower, and noises of grunting and bodies falling could be heard. Third door to the right was slightly ajar and inside, Tojo Nozomi, long purple hued hair in a very professional ponytail, had printouts spread all over her desk. And the latest fashion magazines in a row at the top like a barricade. And on her very very secure government issue but Nozomi tweaked to make it even more secure laptop the message from RiceQueen, pleading for help biohacking a prophylactic treatment for the coronavirus. Nozomi’s supervisor stared at her from the doorway.

“Come inside and close the door.” Nozomi shut her laptop, “I’ve read through all the files you had forwarded..

The Deputy Minister nodded and shut and locked the door. “And your conclusion?”

“I think we should go through artistic channels rather than our usual operatives.” Nozomi waved at the chair opposite her.

“What do you mean?”

Nozomi slid a magazine toward the Deputy Minister, open to a page with the latest collection from FeatherSmile Designs. Intricately woven graphene fabric that lit up with neon kanji. “We would have to upgrade their tech, but I think they could carry the message effectively.”

“But they’re not agents. We’d be putting civilians at risk.”

“We give them minimal details and protection. I’d need Soldier Game.”

The Deputy Minister nodded. “They’ve been on standby for months so that wouldn’t be a problem.”

Nozomi glanced at her laptop. “I’ve built a personal relationship with our US contact. I’d like to be involved.”

“That’s unusual.” A tilt back in the chair. Nozomi was starting to lose her audience.

“She’s very skittish.”

“It is difficult to get US visas.”

“For a mini movie in LA? The Governor has negotiated higher threshholds for funded projects. Here’s my plan.” Nozomi handed over a folder that had been marking a particular fashion spread. “We bring FeatherSmile in under the cover of assisting with increasing the positive response to Japanese businesses and citizens. I have a contact in California we’ve used before, Kousaka Honoka.”

The Deputy Minister read the plan over, “Bold thinking, Tojo. May be useful on several fronts. I’m impressed.”

Praise for the obvious wasn’t something Nozomi wasted time over. “People are dying, ma’am. Ignorance and bigotry are on the rise. And someone has asked us for help.”

“So what’s our first step?”

“Contact Yazawa Nico and Minami Kotori. Bring them in. And inform Soldier Game of their new assignment. I’d like to see them on some photoshoots now, rolled out over the next two weeks in separate locations. Maybe one of them vacationing in the middle of celebrities. Send Nishikino for that. She’s got the status.”

The Deputy Minister typed quickly into her phone, “Anything else.”

“I’ll be taking my driver.”

“Of course.”

“I have a list of gear we’ll be needing. I’ll put Sonoda on that and let Rin assist.”

“Then I’ll put Ayase and Nishikino in the field this week while Sonoda preps.”

“Perfect.” Everything on Nozomi’s list had been checked off. Now to talk to the tech team about upgrading FeatherSmile’s textile output.

###

Nishikino Maki, bright red hair under a floppy straw hat, stretched out on the chaise, her book next to her, the sun hot against the skin exposed by her bikini. And then the waiter’s shadow blocked her light. She tipped up the hat, with a snarl, “Just leave it on the table.”

The waiter nodded, placing the tall glass. Maki held up a finger to keep the waiter’s attention, reached over, picked up the glass, and sipped.

“Too salty.’ Maki spat in the sand. A murmur of horror rippled down the row of seats. “Take it back. Tell your master mixologist that Bloody Marys should let the tomato juice shine.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“And you’d better be back here before I finish this chapter.” Maki picked up her book and took her sunglasses off, “Management fires my least favorite employee each and every day. Survival of the fittest.” Maki winked. “Or the cutest.”

Next to Maki, a banking dynasty scion fresh from the London School of Economics rolled her eyes at the vapidness of the idle rich. Nishikino had landed in Hawai’i last Thursday and by the weekend had been spoken of in terror by hotel staff members all across the Big Island.

###

Ayase Eli, blond hair in a tight bun, stretched, laying back across the barre, smiling at the smaller woman waiting next to her. “It’s been too long since I’ve had a job with a full dance studio.”

“Oh, are you a dancer?”

“Trained in Russia.” Eli’s tone was polite enough but something in the icy blue of her eyes encouraged the other woman to shuffle farther down the barre. Eli did another perfect move, “It’s great that dance is having such a strong surge. I’m hoping to get a job on a movie in LA or something.”

“Oh, that’d be cool. It’s hard to get work in the US now, with their strict visa limits.” The smaller dancer moved from first to third position.

Eli leaned forward, relaxing, watching herself in the mirror, “But haven’t you always dreamed about Hollywood?”

“Who hasn’t?” The other dancer dropped into a full plie.

###

Sonoda Umi had the supply list memorized, with her own additions. Soldier Game had their own preferences. Dressed in a simple black pantsuit, light blue shirt, gun holster hidden, Umi swiped the pattern that opened the door for her. A clerk greeted her.

“Sonoda-san.”

Umi glanced at the nametag, “Fujioka-san. Please inform Tojo-san that I will meet her driver in the Armory.”

A bow and Umi moved through the checkpoint. That was one of Umi’s favorite things about having to work from Headquarters. There were no unnecessary conversations, everyone prided themselves on efficiency and detachment, Umi felt not at home, but at work. Which was one of Umi’s more productive places. And Umi’s productive places were Umi’s happy places.

###

Yazawa Nico swivelled her chair, forcing her eyes away from the multiple screens in front of her. “Nico knows the computer’s doing most of the work, but…” Nico shook her head, “This much information is making Nico’s brain hurt.”

Minami Kotori, in a custom made Rumi Rock yukata, was pinning fabric to a dressmaker’s dummy. “Take a break. We can finish programming the looms later.”

“Nah.” Nico shook herself, slapping her face, “Sooner we get it done, sooner we can cut the garments. Did we get the model measurements?”

Kotori nodded, “All the details. Did you see the pictures?”

Nico closed her eyes, yes, she’d seen the pictures, but how do you...then Kotori interrupted her with a giggle, “I’ve been having the most...exquisite dreams.”

Nico decided a change of topic was her best strategy before Kotori breached TMI territory.

“Anything we make will drape well.”

“And practically drip off.” Kotori giggled.

Nico refused to be lured to after hours chatter. “I think the redhead would look great in that lilac twisted tweed you showed me.”

“Ooohh, it would really bring out the lavender in her eyes. Tweeds will also easily disguise any patterning.”

“Yeah, if we use the free color slot to match their individual eye colors…”

“Oh, I can see it,” Kotori stepped over to her drafting table, swift strokes creating three almost capes, Nico guessed from her distant, odd angle.

“So we’re going with a Fall/Winter book?”

“Would you rather see them model bikinis?” Kotori asked wistfully.

Nico dropped her head to her clasped hands, exhaling. What the hell kind of trap question was that to ask a respectful, modern woman so so gay she can’t stop thinking about her new co workers playing nude beach volleyball? There was no safe answer.

“This is so much flashier and more complicated than our usual drop jobs. Can’t we just…” Nico really needed a steady girlfriend so she wouldn’t get preoccupied by random curves.

Kotori frowned, she’d had a late night conversation with their international headquarters. “Command thinks this ask is a mole trying to get information about our operations.”

“Damn. So flashy it is. All personality. Nico nico ni.” Nico, hands raised to her temple, smiled, then sighed, shrewd glance meeting her partner’s.

“Yeah.” Kotori bit the air.

New information absorbed and back on task, Nico considered the juxtaposition of life saving science and sexy swimsuits. Too distracting. But then again, no one would believe it was about anything but pretty women in pretty clothing. Everyone underestimated pretty women. And none of the models were shy about their assets, from the pics Nico had seen.

“Bikinis. Nico just thinks no one will notice the thin pinstripes are actually graphene circuits if they have those models to look at.” Plus, if Soldier Game was investigating them, that little fabric would make guns or recording devices harder to conceal.

Kotori raised an eyebrow at Nico, “You always have the best ideas, Nico.” A few quick adjustments with her pencil and the capes become beach covers, in linen, not tweed, “Ready to wear, on demand we are. With reclaimed fabric. Eco friendly.”

“Eco sexy.” Nico snapped her fingers.

“Sexy sexy” Kotori giggled.

Nico decided a mutual review of their corporate sexual harassment policy was a very necessary next step.

###

Umi stopped, pivoted on her heel and glared over packed duffle bags at the short, energetic ginger haired woman bouncing down the hall after her.

“Let me help, Sonoda-chan.”

“Everything is wrong with that.” Umi stated through gritted teeth.

The ginger shrugged, mischief flicking in chartreuse eyes, “You won’t let me call you Umi-chan.”

“Hoshizora-san.” Umi stated deliberately, as an example, “Perhaps I could speak to your direct report.”

“Nozomi-chan? Oh sure, she always loves it when I stop by her office. She’ll have tea ready and we can talk about what I found out about…”

Umi stopped the spread of information as quickly as she could. “Where is Tojo-san’s office?”

“Right this way.” Hoshizora sped down the hall. Umi briefly wondered if the cat like gimmicky gestures were the actual result of some kind of genetic experiment with cheetahs, but surely there would have been more rumors. Hoshizora skipped -- skipped?!?!?! -- through a door and Umi increased her pace to catch up. Pausing, she knocked, but the door was ripped open, the mini cheetah hybrid speaking to someone inside, “Sonoda-chan wants to see you, Nozomi-chan. She doesn’t like…”

Umi stepped inside the room, stern. “I can speak for myself.”

Tojo was dressed appropriately for the office, in a dark suit, unlike her driver’s Nadeshiko Japan soccer jersey and jean shorts, exuded polite propriety. “Please take a seat, Sonoda-san. How can I help you?”

Hoshizora slid into the chair behind the desk, “Sonoda-chan” Hoshizora winked, “objects to my “‘overt familiarity and lack of respect.””

Nozomi had a slight smile that bordered on a smirk. Umi adjusted her initial impression. She was beginning to suspect that this division was not run to military specs. Nozomi’s voice was a giggly, syrupy mess with hints of rural accent, “Now, now, Lt. Commander, I’m sure you are aware that you will be undercover beginning tomorrow.”

“Of course. I read the dossier.” Umi started to prickle.

“So why do you object to my assistant following my orders that you be eased into a non military environment by ignoring a strict hierarchy.”

Hoshizora, Rin, Umi corrected herself, was rocking the chair back and forth, silently laughing. Umi cleared her throat, “I was not aware those were...Rin’s orders.”

Rin leaned forward, eyes wide, sticking out her tongue.

“Are you going to be aware of everything happening on this mission?” Nozomi asked quickly.

If I can be, Umi’s head went, but she just shook her head in lieu of a verbal reply.

“So, as you are temporarily under my command, you should be aware that I find keeping my charges in a state where they are continually alert leads to the most successful missions. Perhaps not as planned as what you are used to from your time with the Defense Forces, but our skillset needs to be more flexible.” Nozomi tilted her head, almost coquettishly, “Do you understand, Lt. Commander?”

“Of course.” Umi stood at attention, her eyes locking on Rin’s, “Umi will be fine from now on, Rin-san.”

“Rin.”

“Rin.” Umi grinned. Deliberately.

“Good.” Nozomi leaned back against her desk, relaxed, Rin spinning in the desk chair. “And call me Nozomi. Tomorrow, we meet Yazawa and Minami and we need to have our covers locked down.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Nope.” Rin giggled. “You’re slow.

Umi bowed. “My apologies, Nozomi. I won’t let you down.”

“I know you won’t. It’s why I requested your unit.”

Umi hadn’t been aware that the assignment had been an outside request. She’d been too eager to return to the field, even if it involved rather shameless activities. She made a mental note to pay more attention to details. And to cultivate Rin’s acquaintance. She seemed like the detail spilling sort.

“Where’s the tea, Nozomi-chan?” Rin rolled the chair to the credenza under the window.

“Why don’t you take Umi-chan down to the canteen and tell her about our last job.”

“Ooh, that’s a great idea. C’mon Umi, I’ll race you.” And Rin was out the door.

Umi glanced at Nozomi, who shrugged, “Better sprint.”

Umi sighed. So this was a test of physical as well as mental acuity. Fortunately, she had a route to take from here that would be a short cut. Umi headed to the window, raised it and dropped down two stories to the courtyard.

“Unexpected.” Nozomi watched as Umi landed lightly, then raced diagonally toward the kitchen’s loading doors. “Interesting.”

###

Maki Nishikino had never been subject to so much scrutiny. Especially while in this little clothing. The interest in the narrowed ruby eyes was clinical and the fingers that reached out to adjust the bow at her breast were disturbingly impersonal. She reverted to a childhood habit and wrapped her arms around her torso, stepping away from this Yazawa person with a frown.

“This one can’t seem to smile…” “Maki.” Maki snapped and Yazawa raised an eyebrow. “Call me Maki.”

“Maki.” Yazawa bit off every syllable, “doesn’t seem to get sunny or smiling so we’ll have to go for moody sexy on the shoot.” Yazawa stepped back, hands on hips, eyes still roving over Maki’s body in a way that made Maki feel like she was wearing even less. “So either slightly less fabric or a lot more.” “I can smile.” Maki bared her teeth at her antagonist.

Nico shook her head, relaxed her lips in a smile that somehow seemed to make the air glow around her, then called back casually over her shoulder, “Less clothing, maybe lose the top, lots of mood lighting, a fabric that will shimmer. Make a note for the photographer. Cool, wet mystery.”

Maki would have choked when Nico said wet with a smack of her lips but she was fortunately not drinking anything, just reaching out her hand for the water bottle

Now the other designer, Kotori was staring at Maki with speculative, measuring eyes, “Yes, I see what you mean, Nico. Maybe something that looks like washed up on a rocky shore.” “Mermaid? Hmmmm…” Nico gave Maki one more head to toe examination, shrugged, rolled her eyes, and turned away, “Show me a sketch.” Maki pulled on her coverup and retreated to a chair, knees pulled up, trembling with anger and embarrassment. This was not what she expected this assignment to be. Where was someone she could kick? Or suture? Or shoot? Where were Umi and Eli?

Kotori suddenly purred as the door opened, “Oh, hello, Sonoda-san. Welcome to our temporary studio.”

Maki thought studio was a generous description for a grungy boxing gym with a green screen set up in front of the ring.

Umi stepped in, dressed for some reason in her kendo workout gear, while Maki was wearing this wisp of thing that would get washed away in a light swell on a calm lake. Both Nico and Kotori were suddenly all attentive to the newcomer.

Umi, as polite as ever, bowed, “My apologies for my tardiness. One of my students had a minor injury I needed to tend.”

“Are they all right?” Kotori asked.

Umi nodded. “Just a small accident.”

“Good. We had a chance to start with Maki.” Kotori waved a hand in the direction of the chair, “If you’ll follow me into the locker room, I’ll get you suited.

“I am at your command.” Maki snorted, loud enough that Umi would hear so Umi pinched up her lips in a frown at the volume, Maki rolled her eyes and then was distracted by Nico with her hands on the arms of Maki’s chair, “Eyes here, Red.”

Maki was startled and snarled. “What do you want?”

Nico sighed, “Okay, Nico knows your brand is temperamental celebrity and we want other temperamental celebrities to see how all…” Nico flipped her hand dismissively at Maki, “this looks in our swimsuits, but it’ll help if you’re at least polite on the set. Don’t etiquette classes come with the wealth package. Or do you like getting thrown out of countries?”

“I can be civil.” Maki said coldly. “Oh good. Nico can’t wait to hear it. Now can you smile? Watch me.” WIthout even a beat, Nico leaned in, staring deeply into the depths of Maki’s eyes, paused just long enough that Maki’s breath caught, and then hopped back, a manic gleam in her eye and a sunblast of a smile on her face, “Nico Nico Ni needs you to act as pretty as you look.” Then there was a wink and Nico twirled, her back toward Maki and Maki had a minute to recover, “Nico will grab a camera and we’ll try the poses again.”

Maki groaned. Nico heard it and hesitated as she picked up the camera. Nico wasn’t a cruel woman. For all the red carpet photo shoots and TWIG selfies, this would be Nishikino’s first professional photoshoot. Which is part of why Nico was drill sergeanting Maki into the patented, 125% successful Nico Nico Ni practice practice practice mindset. The brat, though attractive in the conventional burn down the seacoast with laser eyes sense, would benefit from the confidence that came from repetition. Nico grabbed her oversized pink hoodie from the director’s chair and as she turned with the camera in hand, she tossed it at Maki, “Put this on.”

Maki hesitated, then shrugged into it, relaxing slightly at the warmth and additional coverage, “Why?” Nico shrugged, “This is just a practice shoot, you don’t need to freeze.”

“How did you?” Maki blushed when Nico raised an eyebrow and flicked her glance to Maki's chest for a second. Maki immediately looked anywhere but Nico, “I can handle it.” “Yep. Sure you can, Ma-ki. But tell the camera that.” “Huh?”

Nico raised the eyepiece, pointing the lens at Maki, “Confront the camera. Nobody worth your time wants passive pretty. We want fight.” Nico chuckled, “Hate hot. Flirt fight.”

“Flirt fight?” Maki said slowly, actually glad for some direction. “With you?” Nico lowered the camera, “With the lens. Nico’s not even here.” She raised her hand in front of her face like a magic trick and then Maki was looking at the lens again. Maybe if she imagined a target?

Nico decided to help, “So what makes you mad?”

Maki’s lip twisted, “Exploitation.”

Fancy word. Nico wondered if that was personal.

“What makes you happy?” Maki shrugged.

Not thrown off by no answer, Nico kept up the patter, Soldier Game needed to up their casual talk game, Nico was doing all the work here. Of course, she was prepared to do all the work. Nico relied on no one.

“Hobbies?” Nico kept moving, her voice even. “Music.” Maki’s posture opened. “I play the piano.” “Nico cooks. Pick up those boxing gloves and put them on.” Commands camouflaged in conversation, after years in the fashion business Nico was a master.

Maki walked over to the table and laced into them.

“Hit the heavy bag.”

This was better, Maki thought as she pounded into the leather, feeling a little like Steve Rogers, stuck in a place he didn’t want to be.

“Classical?”

“Jazz. Spent a lot of time in America, studying…Ellington, Basie, Baker, Chet, and Jospephine, Bessie Smith for the blues…” Maki had an easy rhythm going, hardly noticing Nico clicking away. “Then…” a snarl, “everything got openly toxic for women and Asians so I hit the road.” Good cover, Nico thought. Maki was Soldier Game's American link. “And you know Ayase and Sonoda how?”

“School. Families.” Maki shrugged, “We know the same…” her voice hardened, “people.”

“Got a jazz trio going?” Nico asked lightly. Maki laughed, the mood dispersing, rolling her shoulders and shaking out her arms before attacking the bag again.

“Look at me.” Not a request.

A graceful turn, sharp purple eyes snapped onto Nico, narrowing, curious, alert, cardigan slipping unnoticed off a shoulder, strong legs braced for the next blow.

“Got it.” Nico announced, lowering the camera with a flair.

Maki tilted her head, “Got what?”

“Nishikino Maki.” Nico glanced down at her viewscreen, ruby eyes with a happy twinkle. “I’m about to rethink our whole campaign. Kotori likes sweaty.” Nico froze. Oh damn, she’d better go rescue the kendo champ. “Wait here, Cassius.” And Nico hustled to the dressing room.

###

Kotori was sitting primly, legs crossed, hands folded in her lap, eyes never leaving the muscles on Umi’s back as the other woman changed into the swimsuit Kotori had chosen for her. Nico barrelled through the door, Umi gasped and grabbed for a towel, and Kotori frowned and turned, “Nico, I was concentrating.” “Sure you were. But Nico has this genius idea. I took some pics of Red there,” Nico flicked her thumb back toward where Maki was slouching in the door, “with gloves and my hoodie over the suit and you’ll love the aesthetic. Just take a look. Plus, I ran a quick search on boxers…” “When did you have time?” Maki wondered. “There was a whole hallway; Nico is fast.” Nico slid next to Kotori, “Found Muhamad Ali quotes. One of them is “I’m too fast. I’m too smart. I’m too pretty." And with these three...”

“Nico” Kotori turned, wide eyed, hands reaching for Nico’s while Umi and Maki shared a confused glance, “That’s PERFECT.” “Nico knows.” “People will swoon.” Nico took a quick glance back at Maki, “Nico knows. And Ali's an American icon, so cultural resonance. Coated in pop culture candy."

Kotori stood up, muttering, totally ignoring Umi, who was standing with a towel clasped at breast level offering some cover for her bare torso. “Just a few changes, maybe robes, maybe some of those big, satin shorts, sliding down…” Kotori swept her hand down her hip.

“Nico can see it.” “Now that I’ve seen them I can…” “Yeah, yeah, less talk, we get on a plane in tomorrow, go make magic happen.” Nico shoved Kotori from behind, forcing the designer seamstress into a stumble toward the door. Nico picked up Umi’s shirt from where Kotori had been sitting on it, handing it to the owner with a wink, “You can thank Nico later.”

Umi grabbed on to the lifeline and nodded.

“When Kotori finds you again, tell her Nico’s in the gym, setting up a few things for tomorrow’s shoot.” “Of course, Nico.” Umi buttoned up quickly.

“Thanks, champ.” Nico blew a kiss as she bounded out of the room, past Maki with barely a side glance. Umi chuckled.

“You’re amused?” Shocked, Maki settled across a bench, twirling a curl of hair.

“By Nico?" Umi considered. "Yes. She and Kotori have an interesting working dynamic. Completely different from ours, but just as professional in its own way, I think.”

Maki looked doubtful. “She seems a little flaky.”

“It’s mostly for show.”

“Really?”

“Yes, like when a bird displays its full foliage.”

“To impress someone? With flakiness?” “With energy. Very desirable from a mating perspective.” “You want to ma…” Umi, now flustered, rushed to interrupt Maki’s question, “Birds, birds do such things to attract a mate. I am a complete professional, as always.”

“As expected.” Maki agreed. Umi never cracked. Eli would occasionally start to have...Maki hated the f word....feelings, but Umi, Umi was always 100% on the job, ready, focused. Maki relied on that. What Maki did with....emotional precursors was work them out, leave them to wilt in the blaze of the open, actively exhaust her imagination so she didn’t have to wonder about things. Remembering a flare deep in devilish eyes and hands confidently maneuvering a camera, Maki considered if acting on the impusles flashing through her thoughts would be best before she got on a plane with Nico and flew into even more unfamiliar territory, Maki knew how she worked, and she knew who and what she would be thinking about. Nico’s exacting glance had had a tactile quality and Maki’s skin felt like it had been barely brushed by exploring fingertips. Which was going to be distracting. And Maki knew too well that distractions could be deadly.

“I’ll be in the gym. Don’t find me.” Maki decided.

Umi withheld her commentary. Every job was dangerous. Every Soldier prepared in her own way.

###

Nico had taken the green screen down and was in the center of the boxing ring, looking through a frame made by her fingers, muttering. Maki slid a weight in front of the door and approached the ring, hanging over the ropes.

“I saw you looking at me.” Accusatory snap. Why not? Hate hot. Nico had said that. Nico inhaled, sighed, and turned with hands open, “Look, Nico is sorry, and is so so professional, but you’re just so…” “Hot.” Maki ran a hand through her hair, “I know.” Switch the mood, check. Nico’s expression soured, “Okay. When did Nico sign up for your publicity blasts?"

“I don’t DO relationships," Maki announced, as if Nico had not spoken, "but you’re obviously into me, we have to work together, and I’d really rather not spend a lot of time wondering about whether you’re any good in bed,” Maki stepped through the ropes, strutted toward Nico, making certain to brush by the shorter woman, “like...you know.” And Maki shrugged, casually as she turned, and offhand arrogant multiple x rated seXXXy flashed neon in Nico’s mind.

Nico shook herself, quickly recalibrating the expected response. Ms. Too Cocky For Containment, Too Shy for Eye Contact here obviously wanted Nico to skip the apology phase and go right to impress. “Nico does fine. No complaints. Thousands of need more Nico texts.”

Maki’s quirked eyebrow read dubious as she leaned back, with liquid grace, in the corner of the ring. “Sure. Because your lack of detail encourages belief.” Amethyst eyes dared Nico.

Was this a trap designed to lower Nico’s defenses? Work of the mole? She and Kotori had decided wariness was essential with the new security team, but showing weakness was no way to keep the upper hand. And Nico thrived on the offensive.

“Would you like pics?” Two steps and Nico had blocked Maki into the corner, and the grungy, windowless gym had shrunk to the size of the ring as the combatants sized up their next moves, “Testimonials?” The tip of Nico’s nose had now landed a jab against Maki’s as dark pink lips landed the verbal followup, snapping, “Nico doesn’t even need a bed.”

Nico knew there was a big chance that saying that would completely blow the atmosphere and the super stupidly hot redhead who wouldn’t stop looking super stupidly doable would just collapse into hysterics. And, Nico thought, honestly that might have been a relief, because right now, Nico was pretty pretty sure pretty pretty Maki was smoldering with some fire Nico didn’t start and Nico wasn’t sure exactly what was supposed to happen. Or if everything would just explode. But Nico had never gotten anywhere by not being bold.

“Oh really?” Maki pushed herself up, voice trembling slightly to belay the confidence in her actions, but as the movement rippled through her abs to her bosom, the thinking parts of Nico’s brain, the ones that had been slowing her down, shut off and her hands shot out to grab Maki’s waist.

“I liked you better down here.” Nico dropped Maki onto the stool, leaning in, one hand sliding slowly over Maki’s ear, through her hair, fingers exerting the lightest pressure on the neck, other hand holding Maki at the back of the waist.

“Oh.’ That squeaked out of Maki and Nico was suddenly at her neck, nibbling, confident, certain, as she felt moans her...opponent, sure let’s go with boxing analogies, was swallowing. Maki had not anticipated Nico’s response to be this fast. Or...effective. Maki could feel her heart hammering and Nico’s nearness raising the hairs on her arms. Was this a standard thing for Nico and models?

Nico nipped the earlobe and timed with the shudder, went for the hook, “Want more?” following quickly with an uppercut, her lips on Maki’s throat, slipping to the jaw, hand sliding down to tease Maki’s breast. Maki almost convulsed, no longer asking questions, all of her attention now on Nico’s next advance.

Nico heard a hiss. But no words.

“What was that? Nico was now between Maki’s open legs, leaning in in a way that would have surprised her at the brazeness of the move, if Nico’d been thinking at all, but no, she wasn’t, so she pushed in and Maki leaned forward, even as she squirmed on the stool, legs bumping Nico’s waist, her arms slipping through to wrap themselves in the ring ropes to either side.

“Maki?” Nico avoided the lips, even as Maki nearly roared, concentrating on the reddening chest above Maki’s bikini top, a hand on the bow and the bikini fell open, and Nico stopped for a heartbeat, breathless, she would be going there, as soon as…

A hissed word full of whispery need. “yssss.” And Nico bit, and Maki screamed, and the stool got kicked out of the ring, and Maki was suspended against the ropes, head thrown back, hair in crazy, bouncing tousles, and Nico could never watch another boxing match again, and every taste and touch of skin was so soft and supple and Nico had to dodge a thrashing leg, and Maki was about to rip the stanchion out of the ring, and Nico freed Maki's arm from the ropes, and fell backwards with both of them like they’d switched to wrestling and with Maki on top, Nico even impressed herself, hands flittering as fast as butterflies, kisses hitting as hard as taps on the speed bag, Maki mouthing nothing that made sense. And, then, with a cry, it was over. And for just a brief second, Nico caught a bright glance wide with wonder, then long lashes fluttered closed, and Nico had to scramble for something to cover them both as Maki passed out.

“Wow.” Nico sat, catching her breath, back braced against the stanchion that had managed to survive upright, redhead snoring at her side, under a beach towel. “But what the hell?”

Maki muttered and Nico hushed immediately. Now was not a time for Sleepy Beauty to be wide awake in beast mode. Nico was thinking.

A/N: Twitter, where I live, was in a Bodyguard AU mood so it got me thinking. And all this Maki X Not Nico stuff also got me grumbling. And here we are. Can't promise when the next chunk will come, as I am working on finishing Apocalypse Midnight Dance Party chapters (and Tiger By The Tail) but I wanted to post this start. Enjoy. And stay safe. And drop me a song for my Soldier Game playlist.

#NicoMaki #Bodyguard AU #Nishikino Maki #Yazawa Nico #Soldier Game #Ayase Eli #Sonoda Umi #Minami Kotori #Tojo Nozomi #Hoshizora Rin #Koizumi Hanayo #Kousaka Honoka #Slightly OOC #Lily White

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duhragonball · 5 years

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Dragon Ball Z 261

Last time, Gotenks and Piccolo escaped the Hyperbolic Time Chamber, but not soon enough to prevent Majin Buu from turning everyone on the Lookout into chocolate and eating them. Gotenks, now a Super Saiyan 3, is determined to avenge his mother(s), so you’d think he’d finally make some headway in this fight. But not really. He seems to be able to go toe-to-toe with Buu this way, but he’s not exactly dominating the guy.

At this point in the battle, Buu is using his elastic body to stretch and contort himself out of the path of Gotenks’ blows. The first time I saw this, I wondered why he hadn’t done anything like this before, but now it’s clear to me that Buu never needed to before. Until now, Gotenks’ punches and kicks weren’t even hurting the guy, so there was no need to dodge him at all. The only thing SSJ1 Gotenks did that hurt Super Buu was the Super Ghost Kamikaze Attack, and even that wasn’t enough to put the guy down.

Even now, I doubt Buu really needs to bother with this. He’s just toying with Gotenks here.

Then Buu swings him down through the Lookout, and chases him through the hole he just made.

Buu follows Gotenks to a lake on the Earth’s surface, and somehow Gotenks manages to sneak up on him, commando-style, which seems kind of odd considering how much power he must be putting out just to maintain SSJ3.

Then he busts out a new move: Brain Crush Hammer.

This... cuts Buu in half, which is pretty cool, except it doesn’t exactly live up to the name “Brain Crush Hammer”.

Gotenks blasts both pieces with the “Finish Flash”, which I guess is like the Final Flash only he keeps his hands apart and fires in two different directions.

From the Supreme Kai Planet, Goku, Kibito, and the Supreme Kai watch the battle in a crystal ball, and they’re all pleased with Gotenks’ performance. Goku’s so high on the job he’s doing that he’s beginning to think Buu will be defeated before Gohan even gets a chance to fight.

This is especially frustrating to Gohan, because he has to sit here for 20 hours as part of the Elder Kai’s power-up spell, or whatever it’s called. He’s got to be at like 19:57 by now, but he can’t watch the battle with his dad, and if he gets distracted, it’ll just take that much longer to finish the work. On top of that, even the Elder Kai isn’t required to focus on this. He’s been reading comic books this whole time.

Stop me if you’ve heard this one, but Gotenks did this big flashy move on Majin Buu, and he thought he had this in the bag, only for Buu to reassemble himself and turn the tables on him. This is pretty much every fight Buu has been in. The only difference is that stronger characters just manage to last longer, but the results don’t really change.

I think that’s kind of a problem with this guy. It’s not as bad as Frieza, where people knew he was invincible, attacked him anyway, and then they were all surprised to see that he wasn’t even scratched. It got old really fast, and that’s why I always get bored watching the Frieza Saga up to the part where Goku turns Super Saiyan.

I’d suggest that this is part of the reason why I like the Saiyans and Androids better as villains. We know the Saiyans are beatable, because Goku’s a Saiyan and he could be beaten, provided his opponent is strong enough. The androids were presented as invincible, but #19 is the first one we see in action, and he gets beaten without a lot of trouble, so it offers a glimmer of hope that the stronger androids that follow have their own weaknesses.

What makes Cell so awesome is that he’s eminently vulnerable. He needs to feed on humans to get stronger, and then he’s dependent upon the androids to achieve his final form. Even in his ultimate form, he still takes all sorts of hits, if only to show off his regeneration powers. He’s a daunting challenge, but there’s still lots of ways to attack him.

WIth Buu, I think the idea is that no one really knows what they’re getting into when they fight this guy. Dabura thought he was a joke, and even Babidi was worried when Dabura ran him through with a spear. Except Buu could just regenerate and turn Dabura into a cookie. Vegeta seemed to do better against Buu, almost lulling you into thinking he had a chance, but really, that fight was just a repeat of Dabura’s effort. Vegeta could damage Buu, but Buu would just pull himself back together and keep fighting.

This move right here that Gotenks is using is called the “Super Balloon Bomber”, but it’s basically just more exploding ghosts. The SBB is simply Gotenks making thirteen ghosts all at once instead of making ten ghosts one at a time. Also, he says these ghosts pack a bigger wallop when they blow up, which makes sense, considering Gotenks is at Super Saiyan 3 this time.

And Buu can’t dodge these guys as easily as the last set, so maybe these ghosts are faster too. Makes sense.

But the outcome is basically the same. Buu gets blown up, but he can still pull himself back together.

It irritates him whenever he has to do that, so I don’t know, maybe this is draining his stamina every time, but it sure doesn’t seem like it. No one ever observes that Buu ki is getting slightly weaker.

And Gotenks is lulled into this false sense of security, because he did an impressive move on Buu, and even Buu is upset about it. He thinks he’s winning, but when you get down to it, what did the Super Baloon Bomber accomplish that the Finish Flash didn’t?

And this is why I have my doubts that Goku ever really stood a chance against Fat Buu back in episode 245. He only thinks he might have been able to beat him, but all he really proved was that he could last longer against Buu than Vegeta did. Just like Gotenks is proving that he can last longer than either of them. But it doesn’t do any good to last longer if you can’t put the guy away.

Now, I’m pretty sure the whole fight down on Earth was filler. If I recall correctly, Buu and Gotenks stayed on the Lookout the whole time until it was destroyed, but in the anime, Buu knocks him down to the ground, they fight there for a while, and then Buu shoots him back up to the Lookout, and they resume there. But it’s hard for me to tell the difference, because the filler parts of the battle scenes fit almost seamlessly with the ones adapted from the manga. It’s a simple formula. Hero does a big move, Buu either no-sells it or recovers a few seconds later.

Meanwhile, Piccolo’s been having a nervous breakdown over the Lookout getting destroyed by all this fighting. It’s easy to lose sight of this, what with everything else getting trashed. The world below is nearly deserted, most of the main cast is dead, and there’s really nothing stopping Buu from just blowing up the whole planet if he wants. But the Lookout has been an institution on this show for years. It’s pretty wild watching it get smashed to pieces like this. It’s like Toriyama decided he would use the Buu arc to just tear down the entire world he had built over the past decade, and it’s awesome to watch it all fall apart. Z stands for the end.

Meanwhile, Mr. Satan and Bee are still trudging through the wasteland. Satan seems to think there should be people here, which I don’t understand, since this place looks like it would be deserted even before Buu showed up.

Then they spot a city, and that boosts Mr. Satan’s spirits somewhat. Surely, there must be survivors there.

But no, this town might have been spared from Fat Buu, but Super Buu wiped out the population with the Human Extinction Attack. Mr. Satan doesn’t realize that, because even though he saw the attack like everyone else, he never got hit, and he never saw anyone else get hit, so he doesn’t realize what it was intended to do.

There’s something very tragic about how he calls out for a hero’s welcome. We’ve seen before how much Mr. Satan’s self-esteem depends on his fame and celebrity. He was terrified of being the runner-up in the 25th Budokai, for goodness’ sake. Jewel was the runner-up in the 24th Budokai, and everyone seemed to love that dude, but it’s not enough for Mr. Satan. Now, he’s stuck in a world where he can’t call upon his fame because all his fans are dead.

But at least there’s food and water. Satan loots a grocery store and gives Bee a dish of milk. Not sure that’s good for dogs, but this is Dragon Ball Z, so who cares? All those pterosaurs in this show have big fat bodies and tiny li’l wings and they can still fly. Dogs drink milk here.

Satan still can’t figure any of this out. He knows Buu was a decent person at heart, and yet he’s destoryed the entire world. Why? It just doesn’t make sense.

Then they move on, and Satan sees Fat Buu in the clouds. I don’t really buy into Satan/Buu slash, but I get why people do. You could write a gay romance story about Batman wondering why Superman turned evil, and it would look a lot like this.

Yeah, yeah, the Lookout’s destroyed. I already covered that. Why do some of the pieces float in mid-air, while others lie on the surface of the big piece that’s left? How does anything in this world work? Let’s move on.

Buu does this thing where he bends over backwards and grabs his ankles to make a ball, and then he starts crashing into the Lookout multiple times. He’s supposed to be trying to hit Gotenks, but I think he’s more interested in breaking he Lookout down to pebbles.

But that sets him up for Gotenks’ next move, which is...

OH COME ON, PICCOLO. Do you really have to touch your forehead to do Special Beam Cannon? You know how this works, so shut up and let him do his thing.

So Gotenks does “Continuous Super Donuts”, which is basically the same as the “Cosmic Halo” from a few episodes back, which made a ring around Buu that closed in on him. Only this time, Gotenks makes multiple rings, which seal Buu up in a ball of ki energy. But Gotenks knows he could bust out of this, so he plans to follow up with another move....

ULTRA BUU-BUU VOLLEYBALL. Now, I know what you’re thinking, this is a lot like Tien’s Volleyball fist from the 22nd Tenkaichi Budokai. We’ll you’re wrong, because...

DAMMIT PICCOLO STOP WHIMPERING ABOUT THE LOOKOUT AND HELP.

GOTENKS IS GOING TO PASS IT TO YOU, BECAUSE IT’S A TEAM ATTACK. THERE’S NO “I” IN TEAM PICCOLO. YES, THERE’S A “ME”, WE ALL HEARD THE TAYLOR SWIFT SONG, BUT THIS IS NO TIME TO BE TALKING ABOUT THAT.

LOOK, GOTENKS CAN ONLY STAY IN THIS FORM FOR A FEW MINUTES, AND IF BUU GETS OUT HE’LL KILL US ALL, PICCOLO. WOULD YOU STOP THINKING ABOUT TAYLOR SWIFT FOR LIKE TWO SECONDS AND SAY YOUR LINE?

YES FINALLY THAT TOOK FOREVER WHAT ARE YOU DOING OUT HERE?

All right, so Piccolo sets the ball, and Gotenks spikes it down in to the earth, where it explodes and makes a huge hole. That might have killed Buu, except Piccolo screwed up the timing so it was only 99.2% effective.

Piccolo yells at Gotenks to quit screwing around. Yeah, you’re one to talk.

So Gotenks knows Buu survived that, and he taunts for him to come out and continue fighting. He even says that he can’t stay in this form much longer, and it’ll take him an hour to re-fuse and do this again. Why would you tell him that?

But Buu doesn’t show himself, and Gotenks wonders if that last attack really did finish him off.

I blame Piccolo for this.

#dragon ball #2019dbliveblog #fusion saga #gotenks #piccolo #majin buu #goku #kibito #supreme kai #elder kai #gohan #mr satan #bee

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gamora-borealis · 6 years

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Reasons to watch CHiPs

The 1977-1983 TV show not the shitty movie

Okay so I'm too lazy to make one of those funny power points with comic sans, but here ya go.

CHiPs is this very '70s (a little '80s) show about California Highway Patrol officers, mainly focusing on Los Angeles motor officers and partners Frank "Ponch" Poncherello and Jon Baker. It's not perfect (the '70s were very problematic and talk about Police propoganda...) but here are some reasons to watch it.

Ponch and Jon are lovers. There is no heterosexual explanation for their relationship. Sure, Ponch still hooks up with a lot women and Jon dates girls occasionally, but why not? They wouldn't want anyone getting suspicious, so it's business as usual. Ponch is bi, and John is gay but just really likes hanging out with women (he drinks his respect women juice almost daily).

Jon is a cowboy from Wyoming (uhhh...Brokeback Mountain anyone?) and Ponch is Puetro Rican and speaks Spanish.

Their Sargent is played by Chris Pine's dad, Robert Pine, and I can't unsee it now everytime I see Chris Pine (Chris's mom is also on the show sometimes as the Sargent's wife and at one point has a baby named Christopher). The Sargent is always about to loose his damn mind over everyone's antics and it's great.

Season 3 and on, Michael Dorn (a.k.a Worf from Star Trek TNG) is one of the crusier cops, Jed Turner.

Season 2 has one of my favorite characters, Cindy Cahill, who is a staunch feminist and sometimes wears Princess Leia braids. She insists on using inclusive language and actively fights against the fact that she can't be a motor cop, even though she is a great motorcycle rider. She loves investigation and goes to Grad School at the same time too?? She is replaced by a model in Season 3, but Bonnie Clark isn't that bad after you get to know her.

According to a 90's CHiPs TV movie, her and Jon eventually date and get married, but I say it was only for convience because she is Aro/Ace and John is gay and they are good friends...

Sometimes Jon and Bonnie have the same haircut.

Caitlyn Jenner is on the show some in Season 5. Like her or hate her (for her politics), it's interesting. And I actually like her character.

Officer Artie Grossman, who is on the show from Season 1, is an amazing character. He loves food, is goofy, and just doesn't give a crap about other people's opinions. He conviently knows random facts about anything and everything, which always comes in handy.

Season 2 and on, Harlan Arliss is the station mechanic who is short, fiesty, a bit goofy, always wearing a labcoat, and also doesn't give a crap about what other people think of him. He starts out with a dog named Dave but the dog kind of disappears after a while. He and Artie eventually become good friends.

One of the originals, Officer Barry "Bear" Baricza is always wearing bellbottom uniform pants and has perfect hair.

They do so many things as CHP officers that CHP officers have no business doing, and should sometimes be left to local police or the FBI, but whatever...

Disco. Lots of Disco. As underscoring for car chases, and Ponch just loves Disco dancing and John likes watching him dance.

Listen to the theme song from Season 2 and on, you won't regret it.

Also some old '70s/'80s TV show jazz, in the earlier and later seasons especially.

Did I mention that Alan Silversti, the composer for the Avengers movies, does the music Season 2 and on?

EXPLOSIONS. Cars being launched over each other. Random chemicals exploding. Cars falling off cliffs and exploding. Car crashes that are so ridiculous, you just have to watch. With some slow motion, too.

Apparently Season 6 gets ridiculous. I'm on Season 5, but I've heard Season 6, in which John has left, involves plotlines like "a Robot tries to take over the station," "Evil glam rockers that look like KISS," and "Ponch becomes a Male Model."

Literally any season you can find the fads of the day. Tight short sorts, laser shows, roller disco, jet skying, skateboarding, three wheelers, exotic animals like Tigers, BMX bikes, street gangs that do martial arts, different kinds of car racing, going to Chippendales, horse riding, skydiving, nudist volleyball, and that is just off the top of my head...

The fashion and everything else is either retro aesthetic or ugly with no in between...John is always wearing turtlenecks and Ponch is always wearing low v-necks.

The "woah there is a women who is a *insert traditionally manly profession here,* dammnn" plots get old really fast and it's funny to see how everyone in the seventies thought they were soooo progressive.

They drive around Los Angeles all day and it's awesome.

I'll admit, the show is cheesy. I don't think I have ever laughed so hard at anything before, at how ridiculous it is. Perfect to watch when you are sick or really bored.

And there you go. It's on Amazon Prime and local network broadcast stations that show old shows.

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existential-ashes · 6 years

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I never really get whether I’m gay enough to call myself gay.

like it feels like I’m constantly in phases and they last a month or so, but then suddenly I’m thinking about guys again and the whole thing gets fucked up. Sure, I’m pan, but have I ever had any experience other than with dudes? I’ve kissed girls and I’ve kissed nonbinary folks but never done anything other than that. And those never seem as serious anyways, considering my penchant for transmasculine and masculine folks in general so I’m always like.... is it still gay if I like butch peeps? Is it still gay if I like feminine guys? because I do. I seem to pull people towards the middle, like I started off with feminininish pretty boys with homophobic anxieties due to toxic masculinity who seem to only like femme girls because they make them seem more manly (so when I turn up it’s like whoa babe slow down, gather your legs into a swoop and be graceful always - not necessarily them saying this. it’s mostly what I think I should be doing and what I intimidate myself into doing until I explode). Then I moved on to butch girls who made me feel like I should act like them, but of course that leads to the “do i like you or do i want to be you” shithole that makes me more insecure i just like butch girls people let me live. And then there’s transmasculine folks and trans guys who are just ugh my life I swear to god the feeling of wanting to be you and wanting to love you are sooo much stronger (but I’m realizing now that even if I want to be you, I also feel less like myself when I try to imitate you so while I am a femme nonbinary person who uses neutral pronouns, I constantly feel guilty because I feel like I’m taking up your space)

I’m just not happy in general with anything. I feel like a fake all the time. Fake gay, fake trans, fake cis, fake Korean, fake American, fake TCK, fake fake fake fake fake. I can’t talk about the things I like because people either shit on me for it or they’re koreaboos; I can’t talk about the things I like without people saying “oh wow, you know a lot about this that’s surprising” like what do you want from me? I talked about sports once and nobody believed me and yeah sure I know a lot about volleyball because I wanted to legitimatize my affection for haikyuu but really is it that weird for me to know the top teams are usually from Brazil? why are people so condescending? I fucking hate this. I haven’t gushed about anything in such a long while without restriction, without feeling guilty. I’m getting back to rot. Everything festers, the anger, the wellness, it’s infecting me.

And turning me dramatic apparently. I hate that I’m unable to be assertive like I used to be. When did i turn into such a cool freak? gotta be cool, gotta make sure nobody gets ruffled, gotta make sure I don’t start shit, gotta stay cool in this situation, gotta make people think I’m not reacting and cool and cool and cool I used to be a firey bitch. I used to be so angry. and I hated it so I changed it. But the cool reminds me of the apathy I felt when I was at my lowest. It reminds me of the distance between myself and everything. I want to get involved again, but the cool keeps me away. It’s a coping mechanism, a layer of protection, but it’s just keeping all the rot inside. I mean it’s also protecting me, but the infections still there. and letting the fever back in will end in the same place: I tried being fire, I tried being ice, and either way I hated the results. It’s because I never chased out the infection fully, but I tried real hard. I don’t know how to fix this perpetual disappointment with everything. How does one make mental antibiotics?

#depression #anxiety #can't sleep so I made a to do list which helped #but then i just had to write this #I'm watching insatiable and nonnie is just #agh #stirring things up #i want to be independent #i want to know myself #i want to stop being insecure #personal

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esteemedbastard · 6 years

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His dear child was sleeping in a hospital bed with an oxygen mask over his face along with an IV attached to his arm. Quickly he rushed to his side and gently held the pro’s hand in his own while running his fingers through his silver hair. Gently Janes leaned over and pressed his lips to Aster’s forehead. “Daddy’s here Aster. And I’m not gonna leave you anytime soon.” He whispered as he let his tears roll down his cheeks. (James is Aster's Dad)

Aster doesn’t remember anything about the fire, and perhaps for the better.

A burglar broke into their apartment with the intent to steal James’s artwork. James confronted him, and in the struggle the thief’s gun went off, striking a ceiling light and setting off an electrical fire.

The fire spread to Aster’s room, where he slept soundly. James couldn’t get to his son in time to bring him to safety.

He’s badly burned from the bottom of his left eye to his chin, and the right side of his head is scorched. They had to cut off all his hair before surgery. Burns scale up his legs and arms, and there’s a splotch directly in the center of his chest.

He’ll live, but Aster will need to see a plastic surgeon for years for additional surgical procedures as he grows.

Aster is only ten years old.

They move into a house in the suburbs and get a high tech security system. Aster goes back to school, walking into the class to the gasps and shrieks of his classmates. He grows his hair and wears hoodies to hide his face. When the bullies make biting remarks, Aster responds with sharp retorts.

He signs up for karate when their insults shift from verbal to physical.

As Aster grows up and the surgeries make his scars more manageable, he stops hiding behind his hair and hoodies and uses makeup and concealer. From karate he branches out to volleyball and lacrosse, trying to compensate for his face by training his body.

He trains his mind, too. Aster plays Duel Monsters online after his homework is done. Over the computer, no one can see his face. The people on the DM servers become his friends, talking to him in the chats. One of them suggests Aster start going to tournaments.

He does. And he wins.

(He wins a lot.)

There are bullies at the tournaments, too. Aster doesn’t need words or fists to put them down; for the first time, he uses his cards to shut them up.

By the time he’s fifteen, he’s already gone pro.

At seventeen, Jaden Yuki has a crush on Aster Phoenix. He’s so confident in the way he handles his cards and he’s merciless with opponents who don’t take him seriously. He’s only two years older than Jaden and yet he’s taking the pro world by storm.

He’s stunning, too. Steely blue eyes and silver hair, tailored suits to show off his gorgeous body, and a tenor voice to make Jaden shake in his shoes.

Aster’s P.O. box is posted up on a fansite, and Jaden starts sending him letters. He remarks on Aster’s previous duels and makes his own interjections about what he’d do in Aster’s place. He asks Aster how he likes Dubai, Paris, Moscow, and Hong Kong. Jaden’s never been out of the country before and Aster doesn’t reliably update his social media about what he’s doing on his travels.

Jaden follows Aster on social media, of course. There aren’t a lot of candid photos of Aster: no gym selfies, no “I woke up like this,” no pictures on the plane; nothing. All of his pictures are promotional shots, pictures taken during a duel, and media pictures. The fansites vent their frustrations but Jaden doesn’t mind. Aster has cameras in his face all the time. If he wants to keep some things private, then that’s his business. Jaden keep his letters bland and impersonal, only talking about Aster’s duels and his traveling.

A couple of days after Jaden moves into his college dorm, Aster’s world falls apart.

After his morning run, Jaden opens up his phone to see Aster’s pictures posted all over the fansites. That’s nothing new, but these aren’t professional shots; these are photos someone took with their phone.

Aster is getting out of the hotel pool after a long nighttime swim. Jaden swallows audibly at the sight of Aster’s partially clothed body. His toned arms and taught chest make Jaden feel funny in his stomach.

But the scars on those arms and chest that causes Jaden’s stomach to flip-flop. Scrolling down, there’s a photo where Aster lifts his head to reveal a long scar on the left side of his face.

In the comments, a fan publishes a link about an attempted burglary nearly ten years ago that led to a fire in the apartment where Aster lived as a child. Another fan gleefully counts Aster’s scars and guesses how many surgeries Aster has had to reconstruct his body.

Anger boils in Jaden’s gut. These people dug up Aster’s pain and splashed it all over the internet. He unfollows the fansite and shoves his phone back into his pocket.

Back at his dorm, he sits down at his desk and pulls out some paper and a pen.

“Dear Aster,

I saw the pictures on the fansites. It pissed me off to see people breaking your privacy like that. What happened to you is a tragedy.

But I’m sure you hear that a lot from people. You’re probably tired of it. So I’m gonna say something different:

You’re beautiful.”

Jaden’s not sure what he wrote after that. He rambled on for at least half a page about how beautiful Aster is. Hell, Jaden realized he’s gay when he watched of Aster’s duel in the Euro Cup a year ago! Aster’s eyes shone so brightly when he drew Destiny Hero Diamond Dude, and Jaden melted into a Jaden-shaped puddle.

He sends out the letter with shaking hands and tries not to think about it. Aster gets so many letters there’s no way he reads them all, especially after this.

Still, Jaden checks his mailbox every day in the hopes that he’ll get something, anything, from Aster.

And then–

The flowers arrive.

It’s a big bouquet of two dozen red roses, placed in a clear glass vase with a white ribbon tied around the neck of the vase. The ribbon holds a red envelope in place.

In case Jaden had any doubts about who sent the flowers, there’s a makeup-less picture of Aster inside the envelope along with a letter with intimate details about Jaden’s letter.

“Thank you Jaden, for making me feel beautiful for the first time in ten years.”

(And then, if Jaden’s heart couldn’t explode enough, the letter closes with an invite to duel online and Aster’s dueling code.)

#bluebutterflyrose #yu gi oh gx #heroshipping #aster phoenix #jaden yuki #edo phoenix #judai yuki #unlikely heroes #putting my words on a page #answered asks #ok to reblog

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the3mmadil3mma · 8 years

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January 23rd, 2017

This story begins on August 4, 1998. That was the day I was born. I was born into a loving family, the only child of my parents and the only grandchild of my grandparents. I spent my days at the center of attention. I am told that I was a very curious and social baby.

Three years later, my brother came along. We didn’t always get along, but we always loved each other.

Growing up, I was always a very happy kid. Whenever I could, I was playing with my friends or doing some sort of art project. I loved school. Yes, I was that kid that woke up ready to learn every day (I’m a nerd I know). At recess, my friends and I would play with fairies and try and escape the woodchip lava. We didn’t have a care in the world. Everyday was a new adventure that we couldn’t wait to go on.

Then cam middle school. Unlike most people, I actually really liked middle school. I didn’t care about what other people thought of me. I had the worst sense of fashion, only talked about Star Trek, and was afraid of breaking the rules, but I was still a happy kid.

I started high school with dreams of success. I wanted to get straight A’s, be valedictorian, and have a high school experience like you see in the movies. By October I had a boyfriend, great grades, and was having a blast. But this is where things started to change. I began to question my sexuality, which led to a lot of sleepless nights. By January, I had broken up with my boyfriend and had come out as a lesbian to a few close friends. February of 2013 was a hard month. I was just starting to have difficulty in my classes and I was still trying to accept the fact that I was gay. Then, one of my best friend’s dads passed away suddenly. He was my soccer coach and I had known him my entire life. He was like an uncle to me. The next few months were a rollercoaster of emotions. I started a relationship with my first girlfriend, had volleyball tournaments almost every weekend, and was very involved in band. I finished freshman year with straight A’s and plans for a great summer. I spent time with friends, went on some fun trips, and celebrated my 15th birthday. I had some of my best times that summer.

By the time sophomore year started, I was feeling pretty good. But then, school started getting super stressful, I was busy with band and volleyball, and my girlfriend and I broke up. I didn’t know how to cope. Sophomore year was the first time I ever really had to study or work hard in school. The stress got to me. I started self-harming. I don’t really remember why I started, but once I did I couldn’t/didn’t want to stop. Some days I did it because I was sad, others because it was a pain I could control, but most days it was to feel something other than numb. My mother noticed around January of 2014 that I was feeling “down” so she sent me to my first therapist. I denied having a problem, she never even knew about my self-harm. I went in there every week and talked about nothing just so my mom would stop asking me about my feelings. I continued this pattern for a while until I had convinced my mom I was “okay”. At some point before summer I stopped self-harming because it’s really hard to hide when you’re wearing shorts.

The summer after sophomore year was a weird summer. I felt okay most days. My depression had gotten much better. But, then I had summer PE. I had never been in love with my body, but it wasn’t until the summer of 2015 that I really started noticing. I began to get really anxious anytime I wore anything other than a t-shirt. I was unhappy with how I looked. So, I began to eat healthier. For three weeks during that summer, I was exercising nearly 8hrs a day between volleyball and PE. I don’t remember if I lost weight, but I do remember consciously thinking about what I was putting in my body and exercise for the first time. At the end of the summer every year I go to a summer camp. One thing we always have at camp is a ton of candy. I had told myself before the week started that this was going to be the last week I was going to have candy until Halloween. I had convinced myself that I was being extra healthy and that I didn’t need candy. It seems like a small thing, but this its where I began to spiral out of control.

Soon junior year started. I was still trying to eat healthy. It was harder than I thought. Going out with friends and getting junk food was just so much fun, especially after football games on Friday nights. I soon began to throw/give away parts my lunch. It started with cookies, then chips, and the my fruit. I soon stopped packing these items all together. Most days I would come to school with only a peanut butter sandwich, which I would throw in the trash as soon as I got there. Next I cut out breakfast. I would start every morning with unsweetened black tea, to give me energy. By late September I was only eating dinner every day. Soon, none of my clothes fit, I was cold all the time, and I spent every waking minute thinking about food. I would dread going out with friends. I was always anxious. I knew what I was doing. I knew it wasn’t healthy, but I couldn’t stop. I felt like I had no control over my life and so I found that control in what I put in my mouth. I lost 15lbs (10% of my body weight) in three months. This was my new form of self-harm. Sure, I hadn’t cut in 6 months, but that didn’t mean I wasn’t harming my body in other ways. And it didn’t do anything to help my depression. If anything, it made it worse. I hated everything about myself, and it showed. I was miserable. I couldn’t focus in class and I withdrew from my social life.

The holidays were the worst. Thanksgiving was a mix of anxiety and dread. I remember going on a run to “make up” for everything I was going to eat at dinner. The run was a blur and I almost passed out twice because I was pushing myself so hard. Since volleyball season was over, I had introduced over exercising into my routine. Thanksgiving night was awful. I spent a long time in the bathroom convincing myself not to throw up everything I had eaten. I was miserable and doing everything possible to hide it from my family.

Then it was finals week. I was so stressed I binged. Almost everyday I would eat so much food that my stomach felt like it was going to explode. But I managed to still get straight A’s, despite not being able to regulate my thoughts or my body temperature. Christmas was spent feeling guilty and depressed. I hated every minute of it. Then, I went to Hawaii with my family. I had to spend every meal with my family, so there was no way I could restrict. I remember constantly counting every calorie that I put in my body. I had given myself a 700 calorie a day limit. Of course I went over everyday, and that made me feel worse. While on vacation I started self-harming again. It was hard to hide because I was at the beach most days, but I managed to make it through without my mom figuring out. That was one of the worst vacations I have ever taken.

January of 2015 was a weird month. In the beginning of the month, I was determined to lose all the weight I had gained over the holidays. While dealing with that I became involved with a girl in my class. We spent almost the whole month texting and we almost stated dating. But, I realized that I was in no mindset to be in a relationship. She had her own mental health issues and in order for me to be there for her, I needed to be there for myself. So, I decided I was going to recover. On January 23rd, 2015 I broke off our friendship and began my journey in recovery. I wanted to recover for me, but I started it all for her. If I hadn’t met her, I don’t know where I’d be today. She gave me the push I needed and I will be forever grateful for that. This is the last photo I have of me before I started recovering. I look at it now and see a sick, weak, and deeply unhappy person. I never want to be her again.

I spent the first 6 weeks or so recovering by myself, without professional help. I followed a bunch of recovery accounts on Instagram, went grocery shopping for “safe” foods, and started eating more regularly. Soon, my mother noticed and confronted me about it. She asked if I wanted to see a therapist and I said yes. Starting therapy was hard for me. I’ve never been good at sharing my feelings. But just going somewhere to talk about life for an hour once a week helped. I didn’t share everything, she never even knew about my self-harm, but it definitely helped to talk thing out. I’m still in therapy today, two years later.

Recovering from my eating disorder is one of the hardest things I have very done. I still battle with that voice inside my head everyday, telling me to restrict. Some days I’m good at blocking it out, but other days, like today for instance, I give in. I’m not done yet. I still have a long way to go, but I’m way better off than I was. My brain is still filled with the voices of depression, anxiety, and anorexia. I may have to hear them, but I don’t have to listen. Recovery is hard, but it’s not impossible. I have learned to take things one-step at a time. I have learned that not all days are going to be good days. I have learned that relapse is inevitable and a part of the process. I have learned to practice self-care/self love.

I’m not always happy and I’m not always all right, but that’s okay. I will be on this journey my entire life, but it’s getting easier every day.

Today marks exactly two years of being in recovery. I hope by sharing my story it will show someone that they can recover too.

To anyone that may need it:

You can recover.

You will find happiness.

You will learn to love yourself.

It will be okay.

#me #tw #eating disorder #recovery #anorexia #1/23/17 #its okay i love you #recovery is possible

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apsbicepstraining · 7 years

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5 Harsh Truths That Will Make You Less Of A Jerk

Humanity is principally defined by its is no way to seize the obvious. So, let me ask you this TAGEND

What is the most obviously wrong shit that beings feel on a daily basis that — wait for it — you too believe ?

I’m talking about something that you know on an intellectual level is incorrect, but five minutes after being reminded of it, you forget again. If you can’t think about one, well, I gamble I can. And it comes back to burn you in the proverbial ass method more frequently than you think …

# 5. We Are Privately Sure Everyone Feels The Same Pleasure And Pain

When you’re a toddler, you acquire everyone and everything in your world are similar to you. That’s why you used to think your thrust animals get lonely if you didn’t play with them and that your parents would love your cartoons if they would just give them an opportunity. It’s a normal chapter of a kid’s proliferation and as this much smarter guy points out, we never certainly germinate out of it.

I mean, you probably recollect being a boy and hearing an amazing new song that shaped you want to punch-dance through a brick wall … and then you played it for a couple sidekicks and they just got that gross look on their faces. You know, the watch of nervously pretending to enjoy something loathsome? What follows is more awkward three minutes of your life, during which you find yourself going steadily angrier( “Why are they claiming not to like it? ” ). But eventually, you grow up and realize that not everyone likes the same things.

Years afterwards, you get the flu but ability through production anyway, rather than miss season. Then, a co-worker catches it and takes three sick daytimes. You roll your eyes and announce him a pussy, automatically assuming that the two of you two are find exactly the same indications, but that one of you was tougher.

The obvious concept you’ll be missing is that standing is at least as subjective as music. Hell, discipline even is indicated that redheads tend to feel more ache than everyone else, due to a genetic quirk. It appears that it’s the same for women, due to how pain signals are communicated to the girl intelligence. Meanwhile, people from colder parts of the world literally stop feeling the cold the method the rest of us do. Some beings almost never appear fear — not due to firmnes, but due to a collapse of certain types of contacts in the intelligence( they’re called sociopaths ). All of the hotshots that motivate us to haunt specific actions and avoid others actually feel totally different from person to person.

She can snow angel for hours on end, but needs an ER trip and three months of rehab after a snowball engage .

You’ll shrug and say, “Of course, everyone known to be, you turdthinker, ” but five minutes after reading such articles, you’ll act in a way that substantiates you don’t. I’ve had fit acquaintances get annoyed with me when I say I’ve never experienced the “runner’s high” euphoria that comes with hard exercise. They say it’s because I’m not pushing myself hard enough, while science says some people are just physically incapable of appearing it. So, are my friends fit because they’re more dedicated than I am, or do they just enjoy the “high” of employ? They clearly want the former to be true. My thin acquaintances don’t like to admit that there’s a hormone that moves you starving and that some people simply have more of it.

That’s because formerly you accept the idea that it rightfully would feel completely different to live inside another person’s form, everything changes. After all, at what point can you safely accuse person for, well, anything?

# 4. We Don’t Realize The Battle Inside

I know what you’re saying. I ever know. “Oh, so you’re one of those buttholes who say nothing is anybody’s blame, because those poor souls are helpless to refuse their caprices? So, when somebody tortures a child to fatality, we’re supposed to give him a hug and say he couldn’t used to help? Is that it, butthole? You are the hole of a butt.”

No! You altogether are defined by how good of a position you do opposing your pernicious exhorts and overcoming hurting. Maturation is an issue of getting better at it; success is an issue of mastering it. Beating back the urge to procrastinate, to cease, to be lazy … that’s how you reach the top, child! Buy my notebook !

But …

You know that person at the part who’s ever furious? He blew up last month because soul lost an invoice. Last Christmas, he lost his shit because he thought somebody stole his lunch out of the fridge. You check him throw his outbursts and marvel at how immature he is. After all, you get angry, very, but you ensure it! Hell, you’ve had people plagiarize your lunch tons of periods, and you’ve never kicked a trashcan so difficult that it left a dent and realise the secretary cry.

Sure, you’ve fantasized about shitting in the culprit’s yogurt and blaming it on the apprentice, but you’ve never actually done it .

However, here’s the thing: From your outcome, he’s “always” angry. From his culminate, he’s had two blowups spread across several months and, in between those incidents, he successfully resisted the recommend to explode 162 experiences . His anger urges come more frequently than yours, and he experiences them more strongly. For him, every “normal” day is the result of a hard-won duel … but, you merely see when he loses. He find himself as the hero of his own life, battered and bruised by his personal demons. You envision him as a ridiculous manchild who loves to discover himself yell. You detest his unstable, feelings ass.

Or, you witness the space your depressed sidekick goes residence from operate and immediately clangs on the sofa, refusing to go out or do anything recreation. You dislike the acces she merely … affords up and refuses to even talking here it. Invisible to you is the merciless attempt she exerted precisely to make it through wreak. So, you get annoyed. Or, you find your marriage “feel like i m cheating on” you. You didn’t investigate all of the dozens of hours he had the exhort and fought. You merely encounter the moment he lastly demonstrated in. And you want to fucking kill him for it.

Basically half of all country music jobs are started this way .

And because you exclusively established up in the consequences of the these combats, they believe your grumbles to be the equivalent of some bureaucrats intimidating Arnold Schwarzenegger’s character after the events of Predator . “Why did you blow up a whole jungle, asshole? Your whole gang is dead, and it’s your flaw! No, I don’t want to hear your apologizes! Whose arm is this? “

“Fuck the chopper, your ass is getting to the unemployment path! ”

# 3. … But We’ll Usually Forgive Ourselves For The Same Failure

Here’s a question I bet you’ve never stopped to ask: Why is it an insult to allege officers of adoration doughnuts? Or to joke about how black people affection fried chicken or watermelon?

And simply clearly stated, those are reviles( in the U.S ., at the least ). If a officer plucks you over and you tell him, “Hey, you know the doughnut shop shuts at 8 p. m ., you better move, ” you know you’re pee-pee him off. If a grey buster moves up to groupings of black people standing on a street corner and says, “What, did somebody sag a barrel of fried chicken? ” he knows he’s trying to start a fight.

One that’ll end with him complaining online that nobody but him has a sense of humor anymore . But, why is it an offend? It’s not like the behaviour itself is vile — right now, there’s some grey buster sitting in a Popeyes Chicken restaurant snickering to his friends because a group of pitch-black guys trodden in. “Ha, how did I know they’d be here! I potted they’d rioting if this neighbourhood closed down! ” — literally taunting their desire of fried chicken through a sip of fried chicken. Well, what you’re find is a ritual we all go through in order to reassure ourselves. “Theres” two steps to it TAGEND

For the first, imagine a group of friends sitting around and sharing embarrassing fibs. As many of you know, during filming of the TV present Nashville , I was accidentally captured in the backdrop of a shot urinating into a fountain. So, I will tell that storey among friends, because I know someone else will immediately try to top it( “One age, ” says John, “I was pissing in the lavatory during a White House tour, and the president strolled in and I inadvertently turned around and pissed on him! I think some of it got in his lip! ” ). The aim is to reassure each other that our lives are screwed up in exactly the same way.

“For the record, John wholly plagiarized that storey from me.”

But, then comes the second largest part of the ritual, in which we’ll jest at somebody else’s screw-ups in a completely unforgiving and mean-spirited room, strictly to reassure ourselves that their failures aren’t like ours. “My family went to India a couple of years ago. All of the streets reek like piss! Merely a disgusting people — they’re like swine! “

This is why I invested my first got a couple of decades of life stimulating gay laughs with my small-town peers. For a cluster of guys scared of what their hormones were doing to them( “they can never know I jerked off to a Sports Illustrated article about beach volleyball! ” ), it was very reassuring to sit around and say, “Man, are you able dream going turned on by buster laughingstock ? ” It’s the same reason we would laugh at a friend’s messy copulation legends( “So, then I wake up and roll over — I’m like, I don’t even know this chick! She looked like fucking Richard Belzer! “) and then immediately talking here what worthless sluts those cheerleaders are. The theme? Our uncontrollable compulsions are lighthearted recreation, theirs are a signaling of weakness and degeneracy.

“Can you believe Richard Belzer just takes these pics that guys like us is likely to be masturbate to? God, what a Hollywood closet case.”

Thus, the “fried chicken” gags. The consequence is that, where my consumption of deep-fried chicken is just a ordinary buster gobbling an incredibly favourite American bowl, their uptake is due to a atrocious cultural failure to control their pushes. It shifts them into cartoonish gluttons, with no more self-control than pups. It’s the same reason my high school gay parodies often implied that homosexuals are ravenous rapists who can’t control their immorality( “When you’re in the cupboard chamber with Kevin, don’t deflect over for the soap! ” ).

But, in addition to causing us to be dicks to other people, this double standard too symbolizes …

# 2. You’re Constantly Getting Blindsided By Your Own Weaknesses

There’s this thing everybody does the first time they have to sit down and write up a budget. They’ll plan everything down to the penny — the really smart ones will even set aside some fund for disaster gondola restores and those sorts of things. But, they are able to also completely fail to plan for one important category TAGEND

Fucking up.

I’m talking about the weekend when you’re so depressed that you only buy a shitload of day-old grocery store donuts and eat all of them yourself. I’m talking about the eBay auction you acquire thanks to a drunken late-night offer, or the expensive talent bought for a special a person who has you detect doesn’t looks just like you back, or the dumb impulse buys you’ll inevitably become when you’re get over the breakup and want some kind of shining spot in their own lives( maybe it’ll be a puppy next time !).

“I’m not going to name you, so I’ll feel less guilty when you have to be returned.”

“Well, I precisely won’t do those happenings, ” you’ll say, “now that I have a fund! ” See, Future You goes tagged with the same ludicrous belief we make about strangers: All motivations can easily be overcome with a little effort. Future You won’t oblige dumb purchases to deaden desolate moods! That shit is what Old You did — from here on out, it’s smooth sailing!

And when you start dating mortal new, you never envisage, “This will be a good person to handle my alternating irritation outbursts and emotional cold spells six months after now! ” You’ll instead suppose yourself being awesome and stable, eternally. And when job opportunities comes up to take on a second place, one that would eliminate both sleep and your social life? “No problem! Future Me doesn’t get sleepy or lonely! Future Me is a robot that works with absolute precision and reliability! “

“Ho Hos from the vending machine are the only Christmas dinner I need tonight.”

Oh, sure, there are parties out there who run the opposite room, who joke about how they’re precisely a loser destined to wind up old and drunkard. But, frequently, the precise reasonablenes they’re down is because they’re repeatedly disappointed by how they screw up in the same roads again and again. Their own weaknesses continue to astonish them, since they are refuse to be realistic about how strong the desires are by comparison. Here’s a relevant time for those of you who want a brief YouTube snap TAGEND

It’s hard-handed, if not impossible, to make peace with the fact that we are always going to fuck up on occasion. And, at health risks of going taken out of situation, I’ve got to say that this has really facilitated me realize Satan.

That concept of a tempter who can work from inside your very mind, offering up short-term gratifications in exchange for long-term destruction … it prepares feel. I don’t mean as a literal being, but as a course to facilitate step outside yourself in those critical time. You get an urge and you stop to say, “Is this the devil, tempting me? ” It realise you suspicious of your short-term indulgings — the starvation, the rage, the selfishness — all that shit that will devastates your relationships and health in the long run. When someone else screws up, you can see them as a fellow casualty of the Dark Lord himself, deserving of sympathy.

But, you know, there’s a intellect Christians still cheat on their spouses and booze themselves to fatality. All they were required to do is change the focus to other people and keep it there( “Gays are just heterosexuals who’ve been invited into sin by the Devil! ” ). Hey, be talking about which …

# 1. We Give Clueless, Bullshit Solutions … And Then Get Angry When They Don’t Work

That last thing is probably the most perfect portrait of what I’m talking about in this article. Why do Christians seem so obsessed with homosexuality? Why have they decided lesbian marriage is the one issue capable of exterminating the light of the righteous from the universe eternally?

Because it’s the ultimate exam of the “Everyone knows the same temptations” fallacy.

If you sit down a cluster of anxious and tired people and start proclaiming to them about their fragilities( desire, gluttony, petty savagery, adultery ), you get lots of vexed folks altering uncomfortably in the pews. But, when you take that same mob and preach against lures they never find, if you rail against the “gay agenda” and Muslims and the depravity of Hollywood, now you get some ovations and “Amens” flowing your room. “Let us all congratulate ourselves for not succumbing to the push to change our sexual orientation or transformed into Islam! We are truly badass fighters of goodnes! “

“Like Jesus before me, I genuinely have the eye of the beast! ”

And obligate no mistake, having grown up in an evangelical church, up until my 20 s I knew exactly how to solve the lesbian wedding act: Simply give them the same rights as everyone else. And by that, I signify the right to marry the opposite fornication. I swear it built appreciation at the time and, because you presumably did not just start reading the clause right here, you already know why. Everyone, I was told, is actually a heterosexual — God said so. Thus, “gay” people simply have a funny fetish for the same fornication that they can get over with a bit tradition. If you’d told me that my homophobia was itself the result of my own bad caprices( including an overdeveloped gumption of disgust that’s common to social reactionaries ), I’d have gazed at you like you’d precisely puckered your cheeks and realized one steady fart noise. ” My behavior isn’t due to uncontrollable impulses! I’m a fully functional human being, with a person, who constitutes moral selects! “

And if you’d told me that not only is what they’re doing not immoral, but that if I swopped organizations with them, I’d be just as gay , if not more so? Hopeless. For me, at the time, the implications would have been shattering.

You’d have gotten a similar mind from me considering anyone outside my own group, in fact. If you’d driven me through the projects, I’d have calmly explained that if I was born there, I’d get a part-time job, save up some money, and move the hell out! I stepped around every day patting myself on the back for overcoming counsels I didn’t even detect, to make myself feel right about the ones I was giving in to on a daily basis. My years of asshole know-how are probably why I’m so fascinated with the Internet’s fat-hating obsession today. I return it up a lot, and it’s because each time some clueless 20 time old-fashioned says, “Losing weight is simple: It’s calories in, calories out! All you need is a little self-respect! ” I smile and nod and think, “Yep, that was me! I thought that same condescending bullshit! “

Spoiler: I was incorrect .

But, I attest that even experts acquire the same damned mistake, and always will. Pick any theme. Like the obesity stuff — we’ll listen a new possibility every month about whether fighting obesity is about cutting carbs, or paunch, or sugar, or precisely dismissing it all and cutting calories. They rarely seem to factor in the only thing that really subjects: which diet doesn’t leave you starving. Because if you’re getting pummeled with emptines insists, you will succumb. This is why exercise doesn’t induce you lose weight — exercise ignites calories but also clears you hungrier. And exactly 100 percentage of humans have a doorstep at which they no longer have the force to repel an exhort. I don’t care who you are — if the president himself got thirsty enough, he’d be begging John to pee-pee in his lip. It’s science.

It would also be a great style to choose who in the field really wants to be president .

Or what about violation? Statistically, if you grew up under certain circumstances, you’re far more likely to turn into war criminals. Now, cue the anecdotes: “Well, I grew up in the rough part of city, and I never so much as got a rushing ticket! ” See, because their impulse to commit crimes is surely no more powerful than ours, and our clean register is, hence, proof that we’re Gandhi. So, why lift a finger to improve those Ferguson “thugs” change “peoples lives”? None helped us! Better to retain a handgun under the couch and imagine about filming them when they break in.

“Well now, wait a second, ” you say, “that simply draws us back to the blame question that “youve never” got around to reacting. If we can’t genuinely know how hard individual pushed the motive to do the shitty happening he only did, then how do we know when it’s okay to call him an asshole ? “

Hmmm. Good subject. Here’s someone babying a minuscule owl.

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cupcakelord69 · 7 years

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I’m bored, so why not?

200: My crush’s name is: My girlfriend’s name 199: I was born in: Irvine, CA 198: I am really: empathetic 197: My cellphone company is: Verizon 196: My eye color is: Green 195: My shoe size is: 9? 194: My ring size is: Hell if I know 193: My height is: 5′9 192: I am allergic to: Nuts, cats 191: My 1st car was: Nissan Altima 190: My 1st job was: Blaze Pizza 189: Last book you read: The Wonderful Wizard of Oz 188: My bed is: Super comfy 187: My pet: I have two betta fish 186: My best friend: My girlfriend and my other best friend 185: My favorite shampoo is: Whatever gets the job done 184: Xbox or ps3: Gameboy 183: Piggy banks are: Somewhat useful 182: In my pockets: I carry everything I own, when I’m wearing my EMT pants, which have 9 pockets! 181: On my calendar: Is all my homework 180: Marriage is: Cool if you find the right person and have realistic expectations 179: Spongebob can: Disappear 178: My mom: The reason I have PTSD 177: The last three songs I bought were? Ricochet, Dark on Me, Air Force Song 176: Last YouTube video watched: Marijuana by John Oliver 175: How many cousins do you have? Hell if I know 174: Do you have any siblings? Yes, one step sister and two younger siblings 173: Are your parents divorced? Yes 172: Are you taller than your mom? Yes 171: Do you play an instrument? Yes, guitar 170: What did you do yesterday? I took a trip to the city to buy a new uniform [ I Believe In ] 169: Love at first sight: No, but I believe that your souls can recognize each other on first sight, which is a breeding ground for love 168: Luck: Yes 167: Fate: Somewhat 166: Yourself: Hell yeah, even when no one else does 165: Aliens: It’s possible with the size of our universe 164: Heaven: I believe we go some place nice when we die, but I don’t believe it is segregated into heaven and hell; we all deserve to find peace if we did good things in life 163: Hell: I don’t believe in hell either, but I believe there will be some type of temporary punishment for genuinely bad people; I have no power to tell who a bad person is though 162: God: No, we have morality born inside us and the power to do amazing things; we don’t need a God for that 161: Horoscopes: No 160: Soul mates: Yes; I believe that souls can know one another and be meant for each other 159: Ghosts: Maybe? 158: Gay Marriage: Fuck yeah 157: War: It is useless and a waste of life and resources 156: Orbs: No 155: Magic: I wish I could [ This or That ] 154: Hugs or Kisses: Kisses 153: Drunk or High: High 152: Phone or Online: Online 151: Red heads or Black haired: Black 150: Blondes or Brunettes: Brunettes 149: Hot or cold: Cold 148: Summer or winter: Winter 147: Autumn or Spring: Autumn 146: Chocolate or vanilla: Vanilla 145: Night or Day: Night 144: Oranges or Apples: Apples 143: Curly or Straight hair: No preference 142: McDonalds or Burger King: McDonalds 141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate: White 140: Mac or PC: PC 139: Flip flops or high heals: Flip flops 138: Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor: Sweet and poor, like I am already 137: Coke or Pepsi: Coke 136: Hillary or Obama: Obama 135: Burried or cremated: Cremated 134: Singing or Dancing: Singing 133: Coach or Chanel: No preference 132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks: No preference 131: Small town or Big city: Small town 130: Wal-Mart or Target: Target 129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler: Adam Sandler 128: Manicure or Pedicure: Manicure 127: East Coast or West Coast: East Coast 126: Your Birthday or Christmas: Christmas 125: Chocolate or Flowers: Neither, bring me fucking normal food and I’ll be happy 124: Disney or Six Flags: Disney 123: Yankees or Red Sox: No preference [ Here’s What I Think About ] 122: War: It is ridiculous that we kill to make peace 121: George Bush: Dumbass but better than our current president 120: Gay Marriage: It should be no different than other types of marraige 119: The presidential election: *Drinks an entire bottle of whiskey before I’m able to answer this question* 118: Abortion: It is a woman’s right to decide her future, including whether or not she will have a child 117: MySpace: Forgot it existed 116: Reality TV: Idiotic and slightly entertaining 115: Parents: I have mixed feelings on this one because my parents are polar opposites 114: Back stabbers: Petty 113: Ebay: A more expensive and competitive version of Amazon 112: Facebook: The thing that everyone has and no one really wanted in the first place, but its there anyways 111: Work: Can be nice if you do something productive and that you are passionate about 110: My Neighbors: I never really see them 109: Gas Prices: WAY too high 108: Designer Clothes: Too expensive but I can appreciate that they look good sometimes 107: College: The most expensive thing on this list; Great concept; Shitty exectution 106: Sports: Receives way too much of my college tuition 105: My family: Most of them are great people 104: The future: Hoping for the best, preparing for anything, loving every minute of it [ Last time I ] 103: Hugged someone: A few minutes ago 102: Last time you ate: A few hours ago 101: Saw someone I haven’t seen in awhile: A few days ago 100: Cried in front of someone: A few weeks ago 99: Went to a movie theater: Last Tuesday to see PowerRangers 98: Took a vacation: November 2016, Pennslyvania 97: Swam in a pool: A month ago 96: Changed a diaper: October, 2016 95: Got my nails done: Two years ago? 94: Went to a wedding: 2012 93: Broke a bone: Collarbone(2005); Finger(2016) 92: Got a peircing: Never 91: Broke the law: Never 90: Texted: A few minutes ago [ MISC ] 89: Who makes you laugh the most: My girlfriend 88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is: My dogs 87: The last movie I saw: Power Rangers 86: The thing that I’m looking forward to the most: Having a cool job and helping people 85: The thing im not looking forward to: Paying more bills 84: People call me: Pretzel 83: The most difficult thing to do is: Feel what someone else is feeling and love them all the same 82: I have gotten a speeding ticket: Nope 81: My zodiac sign is: Virgo 80: The first person i talked to today was: My best friend 79: First time you had a crush: In the 4th grade, I had a crush on my childhood best friend 78: The one person who i can’t hide things from: My girlfriend 77: Last time someone said something you were thinking: A few minutes ago 76: Right now I am talking to: No one 75: What are you going to do when you grow up: Work for the EPA (if it still exists by the time I graduate college) 74: I have/will get a job: In environmental sustainability or healthcare 73: Tomorrow: I have class 72: Today: I had class 71: Next Summer: I will still have fucking class 70: Next Weekend: Is Easter...and I’m doing nothing for it 69: I have these pets: 2 Boston terriers; 1 Betta Fish 68: The worst sound in the world: High pitched drilling 67: The person that makes me cry the most is: My mom 66: People that make you happy: I have already listed them many times 65: Last time I cried: Last night 64: My friends are: The best 63: My computer is: One of my friends 62: My School: Somewhere in Utah 61: My Car: A crappy 90′s car that still works better than the American government right now 60: I lose all respect for people who: Lie 59: The movie I cried at was: I can’t remember 58: Your hair color is: Brown 57: TV shows you watch: Parks and Rec 56: Favorite web site: No preference 55: Your dream vacation: Anywhere were there is not a lot of people, a cool culture to explore, and good food 54: The worst pain I was ever in was: When my spleen exploded 53: How do you like your steak cooked: Medium 52: My room is: Clean? 51: My favorite celebrity is: Emma Watson 50: Where would you like to be: In someone’s arms 49: Do you want children: Yeah, eventually 48: Ever been in love: Of course 47: Who’s your best friend: I feel like I already answered this question 46: More guy friends or girl friends: Guy friends 45: One thing that makes you feel great is: Love 44: One person that you wish you could see right now: My grandma 43: Do you have a 5 year plan: Sort of 42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die: Nope 41: Have you pre-named your children: No... 40: Last person I got mad at: My mom 39: I would like to move to: Washington 38: I wish I was a professional: Doctor [ My Favorites ] 37: Candy: Pixie Stix 36: Vehicle: Audi 35: President: Obama 34: State visited: Utah 33: Cellphone provider: Verizon 32: Athlete: No preference 31: Actor: Tom Hiddlestone 30: Actress: Aubrey Plaza 29: Singer: Pentatonix 28: Band: Too many to pick one 27: Clothing store: Banana Republic 26: Grocery store: Smiths 25: TV show: Parks and Rec 24: Movie: Krampus 23: Website: Netflix 22: Animal: Dogs, dolphins 21: Theme park: Seaworld 20: Holiday: Halloween 19: Sport to watch: Volleyball 18: Sport to play: Rock climbing 17: Magazine: I don’t read magazines 16: Book: All Quiet on the Western Front, The Bell Jar; I love books, so this is a difficult one to pick a favorite in 15: Day of the week: Not Monday 14: Beach: Black sand beach in Costa Rica 13: Concert attended: Black Label Society 12: Thing to cook: Vegetable Dishes with Pasta or Rice 11: Food: Ramen 10: Restaurant: Any place that serves amazing ramen 9: Radio station: 91.X 8: Yankee candle scent: Apple Pie 7: Perfume: None, I fucking hate perfume 6: Flower: Sunflower 5: Color: Indigo 4: Talk show host: John Oliver 3: Comedian: Trevor Noah 2: Dog breed: Boston Terrier 1: Did you answer all these truthfully? Yes, I wouldn’t go through all this trouble just to lie

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