#Fuck whoever invented Halloween!!

[wanderingmind867]

Halloween is my least favorite holiday. I usually consider Thanksgiving boring, but even it's better than Halloween! For someone with my horrible nerves, this holiday can go rot in hell! All day today, I've heard people talking about scary movies! Well now, don't be shocked if I have nightmares tonight! This is on all of you! All of those students and adults who kept talking about scary things today!!! This is on you!!!

I might not even be able to go to school tomorrow if they keep this up!! I'm not subjecting myself to horror just for one school day!!! It's not worth it! It's really not!

[serendipizzy79]

Start running!

Ye gads, it's like the Rosymorn debacle all over again!

Yikes, the ex-husband is going to be well and truly pissed off with me after this...

What is a Halloween outfit without some blood spatter, hmm?

Duvessa is very nearly at the end of act 3. Here she is, dressed up as Morticia Addams for Halloween, blowing up the Iron Works. Practical armour is a thing of the part, apparently 🤣

Hey, it was worth it to unite the Ironhands and the Gondians... Wait, who am I kidding - it was worth it just to tell Wulbren Bongle to get fucked.

Yes, Barcus, I'm amazed my tits stayed put in this dress too, whoever invented Faerûnian titty-tape deserves an Arch-Dukehood. No it wasn't Gortash*snort*, he wishes.

[shelly-ya]

Incorrect quotes:

Saw this one in instagram

Baji: whoever the f***!!!! Invented MATH... f***you

Baji:*starts striping and throwing his book bag* even though you are probably dead... you have fucked up my life so much!!!!

Baji: fuck binomials!!!! *brushes teeth, gargles and spits out*

Baji: fuck square root *takes shower*

Baji: fuck Pythagoras theorem *gets dressed* I hope to God heaven has security up there because if I get there and I see the bitch who invented math it is on sight!!!!

Me *already fainted from seeing baji naked.*

Bonus

Baji: *dies in bloody halloween*

Me: so... you think he got to meet the guy who invented math.

Draken:*swats my head for not reading the room*

Didn't tag you in this either what's going on with me

@angelsdevils @stxrmylxve

[lilythelitten]

Rooftop Ninjas

(A recursive fanfic for TMNT: From the Hidden City, an incarnation by @hopeaterart )

…I wrote over FOUR THOUSAND words for this. Four thousand words for a fanfic of a fan incarnation that technically hasn’t even been written yet. I’ve never even written 4k-word fanfics for published works. What the heck, brain.

So since there aren’t plans to flesh them out (understandable, they’re far from the main focus) I have been thinking for a bit about the future kids. And in the process, created a very specific dynamic for Lita/Hinata and her brother Nagato. So have this story about them. Did I spend too much time on this? Yes, yes I did.

Should mention since there’s (again, understandably) not much to work with, I basically gave myself carte blanche to do whatever the fuck I wanted with the future kids (within reason). It’s not like any of this is canon anyway, so…yeah.

Few more things before we start: fight scene’s not great, sorry about that, hard to write a fight scene from the POV of a six-year old; I don’t know if everyone still lives in the clinic but I’m assuming they do for storytelling purposes; and she/her pronouns are used for CJ because I am assuming he hasn’t started using she/he at the point of time the story takes place, apologies if she has, not malice, just me not knowing.

Aaaaaand GO!

“Hina! Hey, Hina!”

Hinata blinked awake at the sound of a sharp, somewhat muffled whisper. Still sleepy, she closed her eyes again and buried her face in her pillow, trying to go back to bed.

“Hiiiiiiina.”

This time, the whisper came with a poke to the back of her neck. Then another. Then another. Hinata let out a soft groan, tilting her head so she was facing whoever it was. “What?” she mumbled.

Instead of an answer, a hand slowly pulled up her sleep mask so she could see who it was. Her vision was kinda blurry at first, so they were just a fuzzy silhouette, and she blinked a few times to clear it. And once it was clear...she had to blink again to be sure of what she was seeing.

A ninja. A small figure around her own height, maybe an inch taller, wearing a black jumpsuit with the hood and mask pulled up, two swords strapped to their back and two hanging from their hip. Through the darkness of the room and the visible space around their eyes, she could make out green skin...

But she didn’t need to. She knew who this was.

“Naga, why’re you in your Halloween costume?”

Her brother sputtered for a moment, then pulled down the mask to glare at her with a pout. “It’s not Halloween an’ it’s not a costume! It’s a ninja disguise worn by ninja.”

“Okay. Can I go to bed now?”

“No.”

“But it’s late.” Hinata squinted at the clock, the one bit of light in an otherwise pitch black room. “It’s ten. That’s really, really late.”

Nagato puffed his chest out proudly. “That’s nothing. One time, I stayed up ‘til midnight.”

Hinata gasped. “No!”

“Yep! And I’ll tell you all about it if you go do this with me.”

“Do what?”

Her brother set his hands down on the bed, grinning. “I wanna play Ninja.”

Hinata’s eyes went wide, and she shot up in bed. Ninja was a game she and her siblings and cousins had invented two years ago, and it was the best game ever. They’d all go outside (after the pepper spray incident Granduncle Splinter said they couldn’t play Ninja indoors) and divide into two teams—good ninja or evil ninja—and then they’d all pretend to have a ninja fight. Sometimes, they made up the situations. Other times, they’d act out battles their family had done a long time ago (Nagato always called dibs on playing their daddy). Every time, they pretend-fought until all the members of one of the teams were out (they had a rule, three strikes and you were out), and then the team that still had members won.

Hinata loved Ninja. They all did. But...

“But it’s late,” she said. “No one else is awake. We need teams to play Ninja.”

“No we don’t. We just need two people. One as the good ninja—” here, he pointed to himself “—and one as the evil ninja.”

She frowned. “Why’m I the evil ninja?”

“Because I don’t wanna be the evil ninja. Now c’mon!” Nagato grabbed her arm and yanked her out of bed, Hinata toppling to the floor with a yelp and a thud. Across the room, their sister stirred, and both siblings froze, holding their breath—but all she did was shift a bit before quieting again.

Nagato sighed in relief. “Gotta keep quiet,” he murmured, pulling Hinata to her feet. “I don’t wanna be tattled on.”

“Why don’t we ask them to join?” Hinata whispered.

“‘Cause none of them will listen to me even though I’m the leader.”

“I don’t think you’re the leader.”

“Who else could be the leader?”

“Um...CJ?”

“CJ’s our cousin, she doesn’t count!”

Hinata opened her mouth to respond, but Nagato cut her off. “Plus she never said she was the leader, but I did. Plus I’m older than you. So I’m the leader.”

Hinata wondered if she should point out that both CJ and Jan were older than them. She also wondered if she should point out that even among them and their siblings, Nagato was only second oldest, it was just that Kiyomi was completely uninterested in leading and so made no attempt to argue when Nagato declared himself the leader.

She then decided that it wasn’t worth the argument, and nodded. Her brother smiled smugly, puffing his chest out. “Like I said. I’m the leader. Now c’mon! Let’s go before we wake someone up.”

And so the two of them crept through the dark room, steadily making their way to the door and out into the hallway. They couldn’t risk turning on the light—that might wake someone up. They had to make their way through the darkness, carefully heading down the staircase to the second floor, where they’d have to be extra careful (this was where the adults slept).

They were almost to the next staircase when Nagato suddenly stopped, then gestured at the door beside him—the door to the dojo. “C’mon,” he whispered. “Go pick out a weapon.”

“A—” Hinata’s heart skipped a beat, and she stared at her brother in shock. “A weapon? We could kill each other!”

“Shhhhh!” Nagato hissed, putting a finger to his lip. After a pause, he continued. “We’re not gonna take actual weapons. Just practice ones.”

“How is that better? What about last time?”

“This will be better than last time!” Hinata was kinda amazed at her brother’s ability to whisper-shout. “Just...go grab one. I won’t hit you in the mouth. Sibling’s honor.”

(The “last time” they spoke of was a game of Ninja back when they were five, where Nagato had snuck practice weapons out of the dojo and CJ had ended up hitting Hinata in the mouth with a katana, knocking out her two front teeth and causing her to run sobbing to her parents. That day, Hinata had learned that she was supposed to lose baby teeth, and Nagato had gotten in trouble for sneaking weapons out of the dojo, and CJ had gotten in trouble for hitting her cousin in the mouth with a wooden katana.)

Reluctantly, Hinata stepped forward, opening the door to the small dojo and staring at it, too worried to go in. “Won’t we get in trouble?” she asked.

“Only if we get caught—now go!”

And her brother suddenly shoved her into the room. Hinata stifled a yelp as she stumbled forward, but once she steadied, she let out a resigned sigh and headed to look for the weapons.

It didn’t take her long to find them. It also didn’t take her long to pick one—she always liked the sword. Maybe it was ‘cause both of her parents were sword users. Whatever the case, Hinata carefully picked up the practice katana and nervously edged towards the doorway, heart loudly thumping with every step.

“You got it?” Nagato whispered as soon as she was there. When she nodded, he grinned. “Awesome. Let’s go.”

“Aren’t you gonna get a weapon?” Hinata asked, following him down the hallway.

“I’ve got my weapons.” He patted at the swords on his hip and the ones on his back.

“...why’re you bringing four?”

“You’ll see!”

They climbed down the second staircase, being extra careful with their steps—the first floor stairs were pretty creaky. When Hinata’s feet touched the floor, she felt a relief sweep through her. And a bit of thrill at having made it all the way to the first floor late at night without anyone noticing.

“Alright,” Nagato said. “Hard part’s over—now we just gotta get outside.”

Hinata stopped. “But the door’s locked,” she said. “An’ I dunno how to unlock it.”

“We don’t need the door.” He headed over to a nearby window and stood on his toes, pulling himself halfway up on the windowsill to fiddle with something Hinata couldn’t see. After a few seconds, there was a click—and, with a huff of effort, Nagato lifted the window.

Hinata’s eyes widened to dinner plate size. Nagato looked over his shoulder and grinned proudly. “Kiyomi figured out how to open the windows an’ showed me. Now we have secret passages outside.”

“How did you do that?” Hinata asked, walking up to the window as Nagato climbed fully onto the sill.

“Can’t tell you. Oldest sibling secrets.”

“But you’re not—”

“I’m the oldest brother. Do you wanna play Ninja or not?”

Hinata did, so she let her brother help her onto the windowsill. She carefully swung her legs so they were dangling on the outdoor side, then slid off the sill, landing on the ground. Nagato landed next to her a second later. “We gotta keep the window open,” he said, voice louder but still low. “So we can get back into the house when we’re done.”

“Back into...” The full implications hit her. “Oh my gosh. We— we just left the house!” Her voice was giddy with either excitement or worry. “We left the house an’ it’s late an’ we’re not allowed to leave the house at night an’ we stole from the dojo an’— an’—” She cut herself off with a gasp, clapping her hands to her cheeks. “We’re gonna get in so much trouble,” she whispered, eyes wide.

“No we’re not! We’ll be done and back in our beds before anyone even wakes up.” Nagato sounded so sure of it that Hinata relaxed a bit despite herself. “C’mon—follow me!”

He turned and started walking away. Hinata stared after him. “Aren’t we gonna play now?” she asked.

“Here? No! Everyone will hear us! I’ve got a better idea.”

***

“Nagato,” Hinata said, trying not to panic. “This is a terrible idea.”

They had just arrived at a building. They had climbed. The fire escape. All the way to the top floor (sure, it was only five floors, but still!). And they were about to climb onto the roof. To play Ninja.

Hinata wished she had stayed in bed.

“It’s fine!” Nagato insisted, standing on his toes and trying to grab onto the edge of the roof. “Daddy jumped around roofs all the time!”

“He was fourteen! What if we fall?!”

“We’re not gonna fall! We’ll stay in the center!”

“But what if we don’t?!”

“I’ll catch you!”

“What if you fall?!”

“I’m not gonna fall because I’m good at ninja-ing!” Nagato strained to reach the edge of the roof, standing on the very tips of his toes, then dropped into a slump with a groan of defeat.

“We can’t even reach it,” Hinata said, eyes nervously flicking up to the top of the building. “Can we please just go home and play in the backyard? I’ll be super quiet, I promise!”

“No, no!” Nagato declared, holding up a hand. “I know what to do here.”

He backed up a bit, took a deep breath, then shut his eyes in concentration. Everything was quiet for a bit, then there was a flicker of light. Then another. Then—slowly—the blue outlines of a second pair of arms shimmered into existence from his shoulders, flickering and wobbling before becoming stable. One magic arm reached up to grab the ledge, and Hinata’s eyes went wide. Is he gonna...?

He did. The other magic arm grabbed Nagato’s regular arm, sloooowly lifting him up to the roof. Nagato squinted in concentration, eyes glowing blue and regular arms stretched out to grab the ledge. Hinata watched him in silent terror, very aware of every wobble the magic arms made. What if he fell? How was she gonna catch him? If she couldn’t catch him, what was she gonna tell their parents? Her heart pounded in her ears as her brother reached for the ledge—

—and then the magic arms fizzled out of existence, and Hinata screamed and flinched away, covering her eyes.

...

“I got it!”

Hinata peeked through her fingers. Nagato had...he’d made it. He’d grabbed onto the ledge and was climbing up onto the roof with both his regular arms and the magic ones and...Hinata stared as he hoisted himself fully onto the roof, briefly disappearing from sight before his head popped out to look down at her, looking smug. “I told you I wasn’t gonna fall,” he said in a “duh” kind of voice.

Hinata was still staring. “I can’t believe that worked,” she said.

“Of course it worked! I’m a magic ninja!” He huffed, crossing his arms. “An’ I got magic first, so I know more about it than you.”

“Don’t brag.”

“What? I did get magic first!”

That was true. And very unexpected. A while ago, their dad had explained to them—all of them—that they were gonna get magic when they were older, probably teenagers, maybe earlier or later but the chances of that were low. And then two weeks ago Nagato got the blue power during the last game of Ninja they’d played, accidentally shoving CJ to the ground with magic arms.

It wasn’t impossible to get magic at six years old—Aunt Zia had been even younger when she got her power—but it wasn’t common, and all the adults had been really excited that he’d gotten it so young. And so for a week after getting the blue power, Nagato used it for everything and kept looking for excuses to use it and bragged about it to their siblings and cousins all the time.

Nagato was kind of exhausting sometimes.

“Now come on!” He leaned over the ledge, stretching his hand down to her. “I wanna play already!”

Hinata shrunk back, looking up at him in fear. “Wh-what if I fall?”

“I’m not gonna let you fall! I promise! Sibling’s honor! I’ll pull you up with the magic, just come on!”

Hinata hesitated, then grabbed her brother’s hand. The magic arms flickered back into existence to grab her arm, and Nagato pulled her up, helping her up onto the roof. She stumbled a bit as she stood up, and her heart skipped a beat—but she didn’t fall.

She was on the roof.

Hinata’s shoulders sagged and she sighed in relief. Nagato beamed, magic arms finally flickering out for good and his eyes fading back to black. “I told you you wouldn’t fall!”

“I was so scared—”

“You didn’t need to be! ‘Cause I didn’t let you fall!”

“I can’t believe I’m up here!”

“Believe it! Now—” Nagato gestured to the swords. “Can we play?”

“...” Hinata looked back at the edge. “Not so close?”

After moving to the center of the roof, the two stood apart facing each other. Hinata held the sword she’d taken from the dojo in both hands, not entirely sure whether it was one-hand or two-hand, while Nagato drew both swords from his belt, shifting a bit to try and get into a proper stance. The air itself buzzed with anticipation, and Hinata found herself unconsciously fidgeting. They hadn’t played Ninja in a while. Was she still good at it? Was she gonna get beaten in five seconds? And why—

“You’re s’pposed to talk.”

“Huh?”

“The evil ninja always talks about what their evil plan is at the start! An’ you’re the evil ninja, so you hafta talk.”

“O-oh, yeah.” Hinata cleared her throat, then thought for a bit. They didn’t agree on a scenario this time, so...maybe just make it up? “Um...fear me, people of Earth, for I am, uh...the Ultimate Ninja?” She looked at her brother, who gave a thumbs-up, prompting her to continue. “And I’m here to take over the world, and I’m starting here, with this city of yokai. Now, um, surrender, or I will...um...hurt you real bad.”

It wasn’t great acting. She was always rotten at playing the evil ninja. Fortunately, her brother more than made up for it.

“Halt, evildoer!” Nagato declared, dramatically pointing one of his swords at her. “You should be the one surrendering!”

“And...who are you supposed to be?”

“I am Leonardo Hamato! The coolest ninja of all! Now either leave this city or prepare for an awesome butt-kicking!”

Hinata paused. “I will not,” she said awkwardly. “You think you can beat me?”

“Of course I can!”

“Then...” She lifted her sword to point it at him. “Come face me.”

Nagato grinned and yanked up his mask so it covered the lower half of his face again. “Hajime!” he yelled, and charged towards her.

Hinata scrambled out of the way of the first sword strike, though she didn’t entirely need to; it was a slow swing, and Nagato had to throw his whole body into it. She tried to swing her own sword at his side, but it was heavy and slow and he dodged easily.

“These are heavy,” Nagato muttered.

“They’re made of wood,” Hinata pointed out. “Wood’s heavy.”

“Well—whatever!” He spun to her and swung, and Hinata scrambled backwards to avoid the hit. Nagato kept going though, relentlessly swinging his swords and forcing her back further and further to avoid them. Which, since they were trying to avoid the edge, led to him chasing her in a circle, spinning around the roof while clumsily swinging swords.

Seemingly realizing he was getting nowhere, Nagato spun the katanas so they pointed the same direction and thrusted them in a stab. Hinata sidestepped, barely dodging, and Nagato’s eyes widened—and then she thwacked him on the arm with her sword.

“Ooooow!” Nagato yelled, dropping his sword, while Hinata cheered, “Strike one!” Her brother glared at her, then stomped—hard—on her foot. “Ow!” she wailed—and then yelped as he thwacked her in the stomach with his other sword, sending her sprawling to the concrete.

“Ha! Strike one!” Nagato grabbed his dropped sword and raised them up, and Hinata raised her own sword to block it. The swords THUNKed against each other and Nagato stumbled backwards, Hinata frantically scrambling to her feet. Not waiting to regain her footing, she ran towards him, stumbled—

Thwack!

“Ow!” she wailed, grabbing her shoulder, which stung from the blow. Nagato laughed and cheered “Strike two!” then pulled back, readying for one more swing. Hinata’s eyes widened, trying to find some way to fight back, before Nagato swung with so much force he spun in place—

—and Hinata ducked under the swing and smacked her sword into Nagato’s side.

“Oof!” Nagato staggered backwards, arms flailing before he dropped to one knee, trying to catch his breath. “Strike two!” Hinata called out. A few seconds paused, then Nagato stood up, eyes narrowed.

They were both at two strikes. The next hit would end the game. Neither of them moved a muscle, just stood there staring at each other. Was he waiting on her? Did he have some kinda plan? Who was gonna move first? Who was gonna—

“Pssst,” Nagato fake-whispered. “You’re s’pposed to talk now.”

“Oh! Um...” Hinata hesitated, then cleared her throat. “You are quite skilled, ninja,” she said, sounding just as awkward as she had the first time. “But you cannot defeat me.”

“Ha! That’s what you think, bad guy!”

“Ultimate Ninja.”

“Whatever! For I, awesome ninja that I am, have a secret weapon!”

Hinata blinked. “Secret weapon?” she said, genuinely confused.

Her brother’s eyes glowed blue. The magic arms flickered into existence from his shoulders, but this time...Hinata’s eyes slowly widened to dinner plate size as they reached back, drawing the swords strapped to his back with a swish. He posed with the swords in his regular hands, the magic arms holding out the two other swords.

Hinata’s jaw dropped. “WHAT?!” she yelled.

“Behold!” Nagato declared, and she could hear his grin under the mask. “My shi kenjutsu!”

There was a brief silence on the roof.

“That’s Japanese for ‘four sword technique’.”

He reared back, leapt forward—

—and bonked himself in the head with a floating sword.

“Ow!” he yelled, stumbling back—and bonking himself again. “No—” The sword dropped a bit, this time hitting him in the shoulder. “Stop—” Hinata stared as Nagato backed up, trying to adjust the magic arms and bonking himself with his own swords over and over until he let out a scream of frustration and dropped on his butt, crossing his arms and scowling as the magic arms disappeared and the swords clattered to the roof.

“...” Hinata walked over, looking down at him with worry. “Are you okay?”

“No.” Nagato yanked down his mask and pouted, not looking her in the eye. “It was gonna be so cool...”

Hinata sat down next to him, and neither of them said anything for a moment. “Why’re we up here anyway?” she asked. “Couldn’t we have played Ninja normally?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“‘Cause CJ and Jan don’t wanna play with me anymore.”

“Huh?”

“I asked if they wanted to play a few days ago an’—” Nagato’s lip quivered, and he looked away. “An’ they said no, they were busy.”

“That’s not—”

“They were playing earlier!” he insisted, head jerking to look at her. “I saw them! That’s why I asked! They just don’t wanna play with me!”

Hinata stared in confusion. “But why don’t they wanna play with you?” Sure, her brother was kinda bossy and sometimes he got them into trouble, but he wasn’t mean or anything.

Nagato’s pout morphed into a scowl. “It’s ‘cause they’re jealous.”

“Jealous? Of...” And then she realized. “Of the magic?”

“Mm-hm. They played with me before I got magic. Now they don’t wanna.”

“Oh...” Hinata wasn’t sure what else to say. “But...they play with the rest of us, right?”

“They won’t,” he said, his hands balling into fists. “You’re gonna get powers too, an’ then they’ll stop playing with you because they don’t wanna play with us because we have powers and they don’t!” His voice cracked on the last word, and he furiously rubbed his eyes. They were quiet for a bit after that, mostly just because there wasn’t much they could say.

Then, Hinata picked up one of the swords and lightly tapped Nagato on the shoulder.

“Wh—”

“Strike three!” she chirped. “I win!”

“Nooooooo!” Nagato wailed, springing to his feet and glaring at her. “You— you— you jerk! You cheated!”

“Nope!” Hinata replied brightly, standing up. “The rules are three strikes and you’re out! An’ we were still playing! I won!”

“Noooo!”

“I wooon, I wooon, I won I won I wooon!” she sing-songed, and Nagato pouted again.

“I’m leaving you on the roof,” he muttered, grabbing the swords he’d dropped and sheathing them on his back. Hinata gasped, all smugness gone.

“No— no! I’ll let you win, I’ll say you won, please don’t—”

“I’m joking, I’m joking!” he yelled, holding his hands up. “I’m not leaving you on the roof. You’re my sister, I like you. And I’d get grounded forever.” He picked up the other two swords and sheathed those on his hip.

She watched as he went over to the edge they’d climbed up from. “Are we done now?”

“My side hurts. An’ my arm.”

Hinata was suddenly very aware of the aches where the swords had hit. “Me too,” she said, following him to the edge.

It wasn’t a long drop down to the fire escape, and the two sat on the edge. “Naga?” said Hinata.

“Yeah?”

“If we do this again, can I wear my ninja costume too?”

“Yours is pink. What if everyone sees you?”

“They won’t! I’ll be extra stealthy, I promise. Sibling’s honor.”

Nagato thought for a moment, then shrugged. “Okay, sure.” And then he started climbing down to the fire escape to head home, Hinata following close behind.

***

By the time the two of them got home, they were giggling uncontrollably, giddy from having a ninja fight on the roof and getting away with it. They giggled as they climbed through the window and Nagato did that weird oldest sibling thing to close and lock it. They stifled the giggles when they climbed up to the second floor and briefly entered the dojo to put all the practice swords away, but it was right back to giggling once they were on the third floor and had made it back to Hinata’s room.

“That was amazing,” Hinata said, climbing onto her bed with a grin.

“An’ no one knows!” Nagato had an equally wide grin. “See, we don’t need meanie cousins to have fun. We just need each other, fake swords, an’ a roof.”

“An’ me winning.”

The grin slipped off Nagato’s face. “I’ll do the four sword technique right eventually,” he grumbled.

Hinata didn’t respond for a bit, thinking. “Do you think Daddy ever tried that?” she wondered. “Using four swords at once?”

“Probably! It’s s’pposed to be really cool and Daddy’s the coolest so he probably thought of it. An’ it’s hard to do because no one’s as cool as Daddy.”

She leaned in closer. “Not even Uncle Mikey?”

“Not even Uncle Mikey.”

“Not even Papa?”

“...” Nagato hesitated. “Well, yeah, Papa’s really cool, but...Daddy’s cooler. Don’t tell him I said that.”

“I won’t,” Hinata said, nodding.

They were quiet for a moment, then Hinata yawned, suddenly aware of how tired she was. “‘S late. I’m goin’ to bed.”

“Yeah, me too.” Her brother turned to head for the door.

Hinata burrowed under the blankets and pulled her sleep mask down, laying her head on the pillow. “Night, Naga,” she called out, already drowsy.

“Night, Hina.”

She heard the door softly shut, and then there was silence. Hinata shut her eyes, hardly daring to believe how much she’d gotten away with tonight—and no one but Nagato would ever know.

The last thought she had before she fell asleep was that having siblings was pretty great.

(One last author’s note: I am aware it has been stated that Raph and Donnie taught their kids to not antagonize their younger cousins due to jealousy. For my purposes, I imagine that lesson was taught sometime after Nagato ended up being an early bloomer powers-wise; they never thought they’d needed to have the talk so early. Also, eight-year olds can be jerks. Aaaaanyway hope you enjoyed this monstrosity I spent too much time on.)

[transexualpirate]

spoilers ahead. also if you liked the movie maybe don't read this im just straight up bashing it. it's only slightly under average as a movie on it's own but when compared to the actual megamind movie it's utter trash tbh specially with the amount of inconsistencies from the first one. it's like the writers forgot they were supposed to watch the first movie before writing the second. sorry my english is gonna be the worse it's ever been im too angry to translate things correctly

here are my notes taken as i was watching it:

his face is wrong cape is different

WE HAD A WHOLE PLOT ABOUT HIM LEARNING TO APPRECIATE MINION LAST MOVIE. WHY ARE WE DOING THIS AGAIN EXCEPT WORSE. WHY ARE THEY MAKING HIM BE AN ACTUAL PIECE OF SHIT TO MINION

they changed minion's name because of a "copyright problem", or so minion said. unfortunately i will keep deadnaming him. who the fuck is ol' chum. i dont know him

"the bad old days were just two days ago" HUH???? NO THEY WEREN'T. IN THE SHORT STORY RELEASED FOR HALLOWEEN WHEN THE WHOLE DOOM BUTTON THING HAPPENS THEY SAY THAT HIS FIGHT WITH TIGHTEN WAS JUST WEEKS AGO. UNLESS YOU'RE TELLING ME THIS MOVIE HAPPENS BEFORE THAT BUT THAT ALSO DOESN'T MAKE SENSE BECAUSE HE CALLS MINION "MINION" AND NOT THAT CHUM BULLSHIT. SO WHAT THE FUCK

while we're on the topic of messed up timelines, if this happened just two days after the fight, then they're still in 2010's. why the fuck is there a child influencer

keiko is so annoying she's supposed to represent an youtuber or something and she's the president of the megamind fanclub (which is also weird because she says she has been that for weeks now but didn't he supposedly turn good two days ago? and he was notorious for having a bad reputation and being hated by the public before that. so what the hell)

the thing that's bothering me the most however is right in the beginning of his monologue he says he thought his destiny was to be evil, turns out his destiny was to be good all along. NO. THAT IS NOT THE MORAL OF THE MOVIE. THAT ISN'T WHAT HAPPENS AT ALL. HE SAYS IT HIMSELF AT ENDING OF THE FIRST MOVIE THAT HE THINKS YOUR DESTINY IS WHATEVER YOU MAKE OF IT. THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS DESTINY. NOTHING IS SET IN STONE. YOU'RE FREE TO BE WHOEVER YOU WANT TO BE. THAT WAS AN IMPORTANT PART OF THE MORAL AND THEY WERE JUST LIKE "LOL NO ACTUALLY,"

he went to "villain shool"??? he had a "MENTORSHIP PROGRAM" IN "VILLAIN SHOOL"???? THERE'S NO VILLAIN SCHOOL YOU STUPID FUCKING IDIOT WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT THIS ISN'T MONSTER HIGH GIRL WHAT

"i always thought there was romantic tension between blue man and pretty lady" "what, really? no way" ROXANNE. MEGS. LOOK ME IN THE EYES. PAY ATTENTION TO WHAT IM SAYING. ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME. YOU KISSED. TONGUE AND ALL. REMEMBER THAT? WHEN YOU GUYS WENT ON A DATE AND THEN YOU KISSED AND THEN YOU FOUGHT AND THEN YOU HELPED EACH OTHER AGAIN WHEN DEFEATING TIGHTEN? AND THEN YOU KISSED HIS CHEEK IN NATIONAL TELEVISION? GUYS THAT WAS (supposedly) JUST TWO DAYS AGO DO YOU NEED HELP

"no way" GIRL WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT HE SAID YOU WERE HIS REASON TO KEEP FIGHTING ARE YOU GETTING DEMENTIA

megamind can't operate a toaster. megamind can't operate a toaster. you know the super genius that builds giant robots for fun? the guy that extracted alien dna from dandruff and gave someone super powers? the guy that invented the dehydration gun? yeah. he didn't know the toaster had to be plugged in to work. and when roxanne did it for him he referred to it as sorcery. because he's not only a fucking asshole now he's also stupid and magically forgot everything he knew

"megamind was the founding member and leader of the doom syndicate" FOUNDING MEMBER? LEADER? THIS ANTISOCIAL OUTCAST SOCIALLY ANXIOUS FUCKING ALIEN RAISED IN A LITERAL PRISON? FOUNDED AND LEAD THE SYNDICATE. RIGHT. SURE. AND HE GAVE UP ON THEM BECAUSE HE "DIDN'T WANT TO SHARE THE SPOTLIGHT". BECAUSE IT'S NOT AN IMPORTANT PIECE OF HIS BACKSTORY THAT HE WAS ALWAYS UTTERLY ALONE AND ISOLATED.

dude why are they making him the world's biggest asshole where did the CHARISMA GO

they made roxanne become the mayor of metrocity. she's an INVESTIGADOR. but you know what seeing the big picture roxanne becoming mayor is like not even that crazy. it's just. out of character

keiko is still absolutely insufferable it's like she's written to be the most annoying person ever all her fucking lines are like nails on a chalkboard

they really dumbed megamind down like he's literally useless now he can't do anything on his own anymore (NOT EVEN TOAST.) like they saw the "dramatic flamboyant super intelligent super villain is secretly pathetic and lonely" and said "how about we just keep the dramatic and the pathetic and throw everything else away? it's not like this is a well constructed famous and widely loved character or anything"

ATTACKING THE SYNDICATE ???? WITH TENNIS BALLS???????? AND THEY ACTED LIKE THAT WAS SOME MAJOR GENIUS MOVE BRO THAT IS A FOUR FOOT CREATURE MADE OUT OF LAVA WHY IS HE SCARED OF TENNIS BALLS THEY TOOK THIS "FOR CHILDREN" THING FAR TOO SERIOUSLY

positive point: roxanne saving megamind and him calling her "my hero" <3 that was adorable that made me movie at least 30% more watchable

the ending monologue where he says he "finally learned the difference between good and evil" made it 40% less watchable WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT? IS THAT WHAT THE MOVIE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE ABOUT? IS THAT THE FUCKING MORAL? WHY WASN'T IT MENTIONED OR IMPLIED ANYWHERE. NOWHERE IN THIS MOVIE WAS IT EVEN SO MUCH AS HINTED AT MEGAMIND NOT BEING ABLE TO TELL GOOD AND EVIL APART. IN THE FIRST ONE SURE BUT IN THIS ONE? AT ANY POINT HE SAID ANYTHING OF THE SORT. AND HOW DID HE LEARN THAT ANYWAYS??? WHAT WAS HIS BREAKTHROUGH MOMENT WHEN HE FINALLY MAGICALLY LEARNED SOMETHING HE ALREADY KNEW? WAS IT WHEN HE GAVE UP AND DECIDED TO WEAR A FAKE BEARD AND PRETEND TO BE HOMELESS SO PEOPLE WOULD LEAVE HIM ALONE? OR WAS IT WHEN HE DECIDED TO ATTACK A FUCKING EVIL VERSION OF STORM FROM X MEN WITH TENNIS BALLS? AND WHAT KIND OF FUCKING LESSON EVEN IS THAT BTW. "TELLING GOOD APART FROM EVIL"?????? WHAT KIND OF FUCKING PREMISE IS THAT JUST RUB A FEW BRAINCELLS TOGETHER AND YOU CAN DO IT

keiko being an actual fucking child and megamind promising to teach her "crime fighting" was weird and bad but it's not the most out of character thing he's done so whatever

DANCE OFF SEQUENCE????? A FUCKING. DANCE OFF SCENE. A DANCE BATTLE. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME. I DIDN'T KNOW I WAS WATCHING FUCKING HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL SORRY

mr nighty knight could get it

THREE TIMES in the movie someone broke out of jail and NOT ONCE we saw the warden or even tighten who was supposed to be in jail. WHERE IS MEGAMIND AND MINION'S DAD HUH. WHERE'S THE WARDEN

no mention to musicman either which is a waste imo but not the worse thing by far so whatever

every roxanne&keiko interaction felt like a tik tok comment section. too many unironic "you got this, girl!" and "you go, girl"s

i need to lay down for a while

now if you'll excuse me im gonna rewatch the first one. for mental health reasons.

i finished megamind 2 and honestly i was so much happier before. why did i do this to myself. why did they do this to my boy

[magalidragon]

Mags, I hope your vacations are going well ❤️

I just saw you reblogged that baby with a creepy doll 😂 does that mean we can expect to see the magical Rhae anytime soon?

I hope my newest fic tease answers your question if not this should! 😭

"She really doesn't like me, huh?"

"Just be lucky you're not Theon." Rhae <i>hated</i> Theon. He never was in the same room with her without several people at any point in time.

Rhae shifted in his arms, clutching him and her newest toy. The motion drew Robb’s attention to it and he screamed, falling backwards. “What the FUCK is that thing?”

He swore Rhae smirked. He sighed. “It’s her new baby.”

“It’s DEAD!”

“It’s a zombie baby.”

Very softly, where you stopped still because it was such a rare occurrence, Rhae said, “Cweepy.”

“Seven hells it is creepy.”

“She loves it.” He was trying to be a good parent and she wanted it. The doll had blackened eyes, marks for stitches and green around its mouth. Whoever invented it was fucked up. The moment Rhae saw it, she squealed— he almost crashed the grocery cart into a display of Halloween candy— while demanding she have it.

Robb shook his head, unable to understand. He wasn’t a father, he didn’t get it. “That’s so weird. You ever get her tested?”

“She’s apparently a genius.” That’s all the doctors said.

[lamortexiii]

Cryptic Mystic: We Are the Mask

The things you like, how you socialize, your reactions - all make up parts of your personality. Deciphering the truth from the lies; we possess the ability to morph who we are. How much/what do we mask, and what purpose does “masking” serve? This month’s blog dives deep into a few topics that all tie together to create one collective theme. As most things in life, these topics are intertwined. You’ll likely take something different from this blog than the next person, but that’s how my blogs are, as you probably well know��� Now, without further adieu, let’s jump into this one.

To start, I’d like to take a moment to ask that you visit the website 16personalities.com and take their personality test. I guarantee you’ll gain valuable insight into your personality, and how you compare with others. It may even help you to better understand yourself or others. I always get the result of “Protagonist: ENFJ-A”. This result hasn’t changed in the last 5 years, however, psychologists and layperson test-takers alike will let you know that throughout life the results can change. So, on a scale of 1-100, here are my detailed results: 

MIND (Introversion VS extroversion): 89% extroverted

ENERGY (intuitive VS observant): 79% intuitive

NATURE (thinking VS feeling): 53% feeling

TACTICS (judging VS prospecting): 94% judging

IDENTITY (assertive VS turbulent): 56% assertive

Personality is a somewhat stable thing but has the potential to change over time in certain ways. There are some parts of us that I fully believe will never change. I term those the “concrete personality factors.” However, there are plenty of things about our personality that we can change if we try. Strong willpower and mind can aid in changing one's personality traits that are malleable. The not-so-malleable personality traits are much harder to change (if changing them is even possible) and would take a great amount of self-discipline and maybe even some serious professional therapy. My perspective: embrace who you are! If there is something about yourself that you would like to change because it is harmful to yourself or others, then work towards that change. At the end of the day, you are the only person who holds the key to changing who YOU are. The choice is ultimately yours. I tell people, no amount of therapy can change a person unless they truly want to change in the first place. Just like no one else can force you to change. Changing requires work and effort on YOUR part. 

So how do masks tie into all of this? People hide who they are behind metaphorical masks all of the time. We see this in several realms, however not all always apply in this context to everyone. We see examples of people “masking” who they really are through makeup, clothing, behaviors, and actions on a daily basis. Some are better at hiding who they are than others, and some of these folks you likely believe that you know who they are, but in reality, you have no idea. That’s one of the interesting things about the internet - you can be whoever you want to be. Whether that is your true self or a figment of who you are, the internet is a place where we see the most “masking.” Deciphering the truth from the lies in this digital world can be challenging.

I’ll tell you a story about an encounter I had early on in the age of technology and computers. Back in the olden days of dial-up internet, we had these things called chat rooms. Haha. Okay, I’ll stop acting like most of you don’t know what the hell dial-up and that whole era of technology looked like because I’m sure that a majority of you experienced it firsthand like me. Anyway, so I was in a chat room talking with random strangers. I really hit it off with this one guy. We liked a lot of the same music and had a similar style. He sent me some pictures and I thought he was attractive. We had good conversations. It was a good friendship so far, so after talking with him for a few months I decided to set up a meeting. I decided to be on the safe side just in case and take a friend with me to meet him for the first time. A friend of mine needed to go visit her boyfriend so she agreed to give me a ride to the location and agreed to leave me there while she ran to her boyfriend’s house only if I was comfortable. If I wanted her to stay she agreed that she would stay with me. We drove the 30 minutes into town and approached the location in her pickup truck. As we came closer to the building I could see a guy standing outside of the building (it was a bar) and he was smoking a cigarette. He was wearing all black, chains hanging off of his pants, and a front-facing black baseball-style cap. I knew that had to be him. We stopped in front of the building and he walked towards the truck on the driver's side where my friend was sitting. Upon reaching the window, he looked absolutely nothing like the picture he had sent me. In fact, he was much older than the picture he had sent me. Yes, you can laugh, your friendly neighborhood witch Kavita was officially catfished before catfishing was a thing. *cue laughter* He had an extremely creepy energy coming off of him (and not the good kind). He asked what we were up to, and I told him we had some errands to run, but that I just wanted to stop by and say hi. He was eyeballing me like a piece of meat. I grew intensely uncomfortable. The tension in the air was so thick you could cut it with a knife. My friend sensed that this was not the meeting I had intended and explained to him that we had to go, but that it was good meeting him and quickly drove away. She began laughing, looked over at me with a sheepish smile, and said, “what in the fuck was that?!” 

Oh, the early days of the internet. It was the wild west. It still is to a certain extent, but back then it was a much different time. My story paints an important picture about how people can easily put on a mask to impress others or to lure in their prey. I’ll never be certain of that man’s intention, but he lied about many things for one reason or another and that’s not cool. 

Looking at masks from a literal perspective and their origin, the first masks are from at least 9000 years ago. They were thought to have been used for occult rituals in countries like China and Africa. Some masks were to ward off evil spirits, while others were used for disguise, entertainment, or even for religious worship. The earliest masks were made from tree bark and leather. Some of these masks were in the shape of a human face, however, some were shaped like animal faces. Animal face masks often symbolized the connection between native people and nature. Many tribes and ancient cultures (some of which still exist today) gave utmost importance to nature, animals, and the world around them. As time went on, sometimes animal masks were used in sync with someone’s zodiac as a form of personal representation.

Masks have come a long way since their invention. Today masks can be used for protection (as we know all too well in this day and age), as well as to supply oxygen and other drugs during procedures or in life-threatening situations. We see people wear masks on Halloween (counting the days over here!) as well as for social gatherings, such as a masquerade-themed party or on New Year’s Eve. 

So, we’ve talked about metaphorical masks as well as masks in the literal sense. I hope that you were able to take something from this blog. Whether you learned something new that you found interesting or maybe you even learned something about yourself through that personality quiz. Until next month, be easy and stay safe out there my fellow earth wanderers. 

<3 - K

Cryptic Mystic Blog by PsychVVitch @psychvvitch

www.LaMorteXiii.com

[blitheringmcgonagall]

002 James?

Yesss! I love James ❤️ whoever you are, thank you xx

How I feel about James:

James is basically my ideal man. That doesn’t mean he’s perfect but... (fuck it, yes, he is, he completely is).

I hadn’t realised it I think until @lizardcookie pointed it out, but my idea of James is that he had has a very high moral code of chivalry, I don’t mean open the door for me, I mean having high morals/ sense of fairness, and that if you give your word you keep it, that he would never even consider betraying his friends in his wildest dreams, that sort of thing? Or think twice about risking his life and fighting for what is right? And a bit old fashioned, but not in a misogynist way, I just mean maybe in how he speaks, the music he likes, because his parents were much older and he had no siblings...

I think he started off being a bit of a show off - imagine having no siblings, with older parents, DYING to meet other kids his age, wanting desperately to impress and being extremely good at Quidditch and academically in school? He was a pain, basically (a likeable pain).

But what other people like Lily couldn’t see was that as well as being an immature git, he was intensely loyal and kind to his friends- that he was protective af of his friends and worried about Sirius and Remus and Peter for all different reasons. He is extremely accepting of people just as they are, he is not at all prejudiced - see how he and the others accept Remus without any issue after the find out his secret- and so he clashed immediately with the mini Death Eaters in school. He found the bloody lack of action in Hogwarts by teachers on issues like racial slurs, and attacks on muggleborns like Mary, infuriating and wrong and he took them on and didn’t care if he got into trouble. 

I bet hearing a bit about Sirius’ home life and the fact that without doubt the mini Death Eaters tried to attack/goad Sirius made James mad, and activated his White Knight Syndrome (he needs rescuing from his need to rescue others - yeah, look, I find that an endearing quality in James’ case, taking in the strays - the disowned heir, the werewolf, the lonely mediocre boy).

However despite being a gifted wizard he didn’t invent cruel hexes like Sectumsempra or Levicorpus like Snape (even if he once used the second one on Snape - and who else did he learn it from if not from the very boy who invented it? I’m looking at you, Severus!!) - the marauders are described by teachers as the equivalent of the Weasley Twins, not vicious thugs. He invented a complicated map with his friends (omg what fucking nerds) and they spent ages becoming illegal animagi just to help their friend. Risking Azkaban.

He rescued Snape from Remus during the infamous Prank and I think that was a major turning point for him. He didn’t think twice about saving his enemy’s life. But it made him grow up, fast. He deflated his head. Dumbledore made him Head Boy so he was definitely a safe pair of hands, commanded respect, trustworthy, and popular enough to fill the role. And Lily started to see that her opinion of him had been poisoned by Snape over many years (Snape was jealous, canon alludes to the fact that he saw Lily watching James, so I think Snape guesses she fancied James before Lily did!!) and that he had also changed a lot... and the rest is history!

All the people I ship romantically with James:

Lily Evans 

I have read a few Jegulus fics which I liked (because again the White Knight Syndrome strikes back) but I prefer Jily because I think Lily may have been a target but didn’t NEED saving she damn well didn’t... and he loves her.

My favourite James in fanfics?

Anything by @elanev91, @lizardcookie @bcdaily @ghost-of-bambi @petals-to-fish @littlejeanniebean @likeawildthing (and james from “Alright, Evans” as my fav classic fic.

And my version? James in  We Can Be Heroes (canon fic from after The Prank)

My non Romantic OTP for James:

Sirius Black, except they were so close they were like brothers, and I adore everything about them, Prongsfoot all the way! so I also this in a way Remus was his best mate? And we get very little info about these two in the books which is sad.

My unpopular opinion about this character:

I imagine him as having great pecs and beautiful biceps and fine forearms, a gorgeous chin and mischievous hazel eyes and... no, I can’t think of anything unpopular.

Ok fine, I think he would have gone mental and lost it with Remus for believing Sirius was the spy?

One thing I wish had happened in canon with James:

No Halloween 1981 deaths, thank you!!!!

My OTP:

Lily Evans

My crossover ship:

None

A headcanon fact:

[jamaiskookie]

chapter two ; vent shenanigans 

🎃 warnings: mentions of injury / falls, police officer jargon (?) 

🎃 word count: 4.1k

🎃 genre: crack + humour = quality bangtan fics

🎃 A/N: i’m back!! i missed you... what’s up ? :-) go flood my inbox okay thanks HEHEHEHEHHEHE I’M EVIL FOR ENDING IT LIKE THIS BUT I’M NOT SORRY

main masterlist.  heist masterlist.  PREV

🎃 synopsis: “it’s heist time, baby!“ detective jeon jungkook is not nicknamed ‘golden maknae’ for no reason. he’s good at everything, except pleasing his superiors, something his colleagues find to be a piece of cake. which is why he jumps on the opportunity to finally prove himself in something he knows he’ll excel in: a halloween heist.

“Who has the key?”

“It’s not me! It’s Jeon, I can feel it in my bones!”

“Wha-? Are you kidding me right now?”

“It’s you! I never saw where the key went after you took the box away, you must’ve stashed it on yourself instead of putting it inside the box! Guys, I got it, it’s Jungkook. Now everyone just hOARD him-”

“Don’t you dare touch Jungkook!”

“I left the key in the box so no one can snatch it!”

“Jimin, get your hand away from my ass or I swear to God I will murder you- ”

“Wait, so are we trying to find the key or the box or the watch? I’m honestly just confused?”

“JUNGKOOK. It’s Jungkook, I’m literally calling it.”

“Bitch- pardon my french- but, Bitch?? I have been staying still all this time! I think it’s Namjoon, he’s making random accusations with zero reasoning.”

“I literally don’t know what’s going on.”

“What’s the use of teams if we’re all going to be like this? I vote that we all split up, every man for themselves.”

“I agree, Seokjin is not a very good teammate. He spent the last few minutes practicing a dance to Beyonce’s ‘Partition’. I think he’s in a cult, but we’ll get back to that.”

“I’m not in a cult, it’s a dance team! It’s a sport, you know?”

“Fuck, who was that?” 

“That’s my hand, what the fuck? Why are all the lights off?”

“Is there a power shortage?”

“Holy fucking goddamn shit, someone must be trying to get the box! Protect, protect, protect! I repeat: Someone is infiltrating!”

“How do we know it’s not just you pulling a trick, huh, TAEHYUNG?!”

“The box, it’s fucking gone!”

The lights abruptly switch back on. Jimin and Taehyung fall back with a thud, wincing at the sudden intrusion of light. Everyone turns to the middle of the room. A gasp goes around the precinct. 

Yoongi. 

literally only ten minutes ago :

Jungkook is slightly regretting all the decisions he has made over the course of his short 23 years of living. It may be too late for that- He’s made some really stupid desicions before- but if only he had come clean and just taken disciplinary action. Maybe he wouldn’t have been roped into such an elaborate plan. 

Although, he must admit, it does appeal to his competitive side. But if only he had just told the Captain earnestly, that he was just eating overripe bananas for the hell of it, he wouldn’t be hanging upside down from the ceiling of the precinct right now. 

Because if there’s anything he’s learned from his accumulative 10 hours per week spent on Among Us, it’s that vents are the best invention known to mankind for all things sneaky and deceitful. This particular incident checks both of those boxes.

Except he isn’t killing one of the players and chucking them off a spaceship. 

Jimin whispers in his ear through Jungkook’s airpods, “Are you okay? Over.” 

“Hello Carbonara Boy, please use our code names. Over.” Jungkook whispers in response. 

“Justin Seagull, is everything going smoothly? Over.” Jungkook cracks up as quietly as he is able to at his code name. 

“Carbonara Boy, the coast seems to be clear. Going in.” Jungkook mumbles into the phone. 

“Okay Justin Seagull,” Jimin pauses before continuing. “Be careful, don’t fall out of the vents like you did last time.” Jungkook swallows his annoyance down.

“That was one time, and it was barely a fall.” Jungkook says through gritted teeth. “Carbonara Boy.” He adds as an afterthought after he realises he had foregone the codename formalities.

“You were almost rushed to the ER, what do you mean barely-?!” Jimin argues, and Jungkook’s eye twitches. He’s so tempted to mute Jimin on his call, but he can’t afford it. He needs someone to be on the lookout in case Yoongi pops back from his fourth coffee run of the night. 

Jungkook’s head bangs against the top of the vent, and he wordlessly curses whoever designed these things to be so tiny. It’s like they didn’t even consider that an (almost) 6 foot man would be crawling through the ceiling vent to win a Halloween Heist. He crawls army style on his elbows, inching forward slowly to the next opening. 

“Justin Seagull- ” Jimin stops. “Wait, what’s Namjoon’s codename?” Jungkook’s about to reply when a voice rings out, clearly from below him. He stops in his tracks, not paying attention to Jimin’s question. 

“- helping Jeon? From what I know, you take delight in ratting him out.” Says a voice which sounds suspiciously like Taehyung. Jungkook can feel the force of Namjoon’s eyes rolling all the way from the ceiling. 

Wait. Taehyung? Namjoon? Did he accidentally crawl to the break room? Jungkook throws his head back- as much as he can in the enclosed space, internally groaning and working out the physics of how the heck he’s going to be able to turn around in this tiny vent. 

What he meant to do was get to the middle of the precinct. He strategically had placed his watch box straight underneath a vent covering, meaning he could swing down and grab the box immediately while Jimin created some sort of distraction. How did he manage to get to the break room instead?

“I can’t.” A snobby sounding voice pipes up to answer Taehyung. Yes, that was definitely Namjoon’s nagging voice. “He’s attacked my pride now, I have to win!” Taehyung sighs- a sound that Jungkook has practically memorised just from the sheer amount of times Taehyung has sighed at whatever kind of stupid antics Jungkook has found himself doing. 

“Okay,” The sergeant relents. “It can’t be too hard. It’s just taking a watch. It’s not even guarded, or hidden, or anything. Just out there in plain sight. I’ll go out and get it. I have work to get back to, and I need to be back home early tonight, the twins are going trick-or-treating.”

Jungkook hears a loud scraping noise, and then a goose quacking from below. 

“Are you stupid?” Nevermind, it wasn’t a goose. Just Namjoon screeching. “It’s a Halloween Heist. No way it’ll be that easy, we’re playing against the best officers in the force. If you go out and grab it, then the others will come out and pounce on us.”

“Okay!” Taehyung relents, giving in so that Namjoon will stop his duck screeching. “Then what do you propose we do?” There’s a pregnant pause and the unmistakable sound of Namjoon fiddling with his glasses- a habit he’s built up when he’s concentrating. 

Jimin is still yelling through Jungkook’s airpods, even though Jungkook can’t reply. Jungkook drags himself back by a centimeter experimentally, accidentally bumping his head against the top of the vent. His face twists up in pain, wordlessly hissing. 

“What was that?” Taehyung asks. 

Curses. 

Jungkook scampers away (As much as he can scamper in a tiny vent.) going backwards on his elbows as fast and as quietly as he can. But then suddenly, his abdomen sinks in the metal below him, and the vent floor rips apart. Jungkook freezes, and promptly falls into the air. 

Bemusedly, Jungkook wonders if this is how felons feel when they hear a police siren nearby. It’s terrifying. Maybe he should be more empathetic to his perps. Jungkook lands on his stomach with a deafening, telltale screech of the metal scraping the floor, rolling across on his back in excruciating pain. 

“- Kook, did you hear me? I said that I think you’re headed to Namjoon- what was that noise?” Jimin questions worriedly from the phone. Jungkook sighs in relief, because Jimin’s clear voice means his phone is still intact from the fall. He brings his knuckles up to his eyeline and winces. 

His phone may be intact, but his body is slightly ruined. Nothing new, he thinks. At least he didn’t break a bone this time.  

Namjoon and Taehyung look on confusingly. After a wild pause of silence and tension, Namjoon speaks. “Were you,” He says, enunciating each syllable. “Spying on us?” 

“Not intentionally.” Jungkook defends, still hurt on the ground. “I just fell out of a vent, and your biggest worry is that I was spying on you guys? Wow. I’m hurt. I thought we were closer than this, Kim.” Namjoon waves away Jungkook’s concerns. 

“You always fall out of things. This isn't even the first time you’ve fallen out of a vent.”

“- Why does everyone keep bringing that up!”

The break door swings open, and Jimin screams when he sees Jungkook laying on the floor. “Oh, god! Oh, god, oh God! Oh no, what happened?” He blanches at the sight of the tiniest amount of blood lacing Jungkook’s knuckles. 

“I’m fine,” Jungkook grumbles, reaching his hand up to motion at Jimin. His hair is sticking out in all directions, his clothes crumpled and his Jimin grabs a hold of him with his left hand, pulling him up so he can stand. Jungkook groans, clutching at his stomach. “I’m fine, this isn’t even that bad. The metal took most of the fall.” He insists. “I’m not going to break my three year streak of not going to a doctor.”

“You haven’t been to a doctor in three years??” Before Taehyung can jump into his lecture on how poorly Jungkook is managing his health, Jungkook balances on his feet and flings an arm around Jimin’s shoulder, smiling brightly. 

“Carry on with your heisting, men. Apologies for the interruption, my B. Definitely my bad.” Jungkook dismisses it and heads to the direction of the door as if there is not a whole chunk of vent on the ground, which he just fell out of. But Namjoon just shrugs. That’s Jungkook for you. 

The man has unorthodox ways and almost always lives spontaneously. 

“What is going on here?” Hoseok asks just as Jungkook and Jimin are about to walk out. The Captain stares suspiciously inside, and Jungkook’s smile stretches unnaturally up to his ears; the smile he puts on manually when he has something to hide. 

“Nothing! I didn’t break any government property, that’s for sure.” Jungkook reassures the Captain, slowly closing the door behind him, concealing the mess inside with a blinding grin. Hoseok’s glare narrows, but he doesn’t make an attempt to investigate any further. 

After all, the watch is still shut tight in the middle of the room, untouched and unmoving. 

“What were you doing in the Kims’ territory?” Seokjin asks, but his gaze is fixed on his phone screen, texting furiously. He looks up when Jungkook doesn’t reply. 

“Umm,” Jimin fumbles. “We were just-” 

“Jeon fell out of a vent.” Hoseok proposes, filling in the rest of Jimin’s sentence. 

“The fuck?” Jungkook sputters out. “How did you know?” Jin breaks out in laughter, pushing both of them aside to peek into the room. Sure enough, metal scraps lay in the center with the imprint of Jungkook’s back seen in the middle. His laugh grows more obnoxious and he leans over his stomach. 

Hoseok shrugs nonchalantly, but there’s a satisfying victorious glint in the corner of his eye. “You have blood on your knuckles, I can see the Kims in there looking at something on the ground, and I figured the large crash we heard could only mean that Jungkook did something.” Jungkook pouts. 

“Plus,” Hoseok points out. “This isn’t the first time Jungkook’s fallen out of a vent, so it was fairly simple figuring out what happened.” Jungkook holds his palm up, signalling his superior to stop. 

“Okay,” He sighs out. “We get it. I fall out of vents. I’m not the imposter, I swear this was an accident.” Hoseok turns to Seokjin, forcing him to abruptly force down his laughing fit, as he always does when he doesn’t understand a pop culture reference.   

“Oh,” Jin begins explaining. “It’s this really popular game online. There is an imposter which acts as a killer, and they have to kill everyone on the ship before each crewmate finishes their tasks.” If anything, Jin’s explanation leaves even more questions unanswered, but the Captain doesn’t pry any further. Jungkook’s grin softens sheepishly. 

“Nothing suspicious here!” He exclaims loudly, hobbling away with Jimin back to the evidence room. Four pairs of eyes follow his footsteps, waiting just in case he suddenly reaches out to grab the box. But Jungkook is smart enough to know that his colleagues aren’t afraid to tackle him, crippled or not. 

Reluctantly, Hoseok walks back to his office, dragging Seokjin by the collar. Namjoon sighs, pursing his lips in annoyance. 

“Well,” He remarks defeatedly to Taehyung. “There goes our vent plan.” He crosses off ‘Among Us Vent ~ Plan #53’ off the gigantic bright pink binder which lays on the table. Taehyung not-so-secretly lets out a relieved exhale, which Namjoon pretends not to notice. 

But the vent isn’t what triggers the chaos about to ensue. No, that was entirely a misunderstanding. Jungkook balances himself on Jimin’s shoulder, while Jimin is chastising him, scolding him for not being careful. 

“If you keep falling out of vents-”

“Again, it was only twice-”

“Two times more than necessary. Normal people don’t fall out of vents that often, Jungkook.” Jungkook beams down at Jimin, the tip of a bad joke already rolling out his mouth.

“But we’re not normal people, Chimmy,” He says proudly. “We’re cops.” He says it as if he’s reciting a speech after being awarded a medal for his work in the force, not like someone who just fell (Quite spectacularly) out of a vent. 

“The vent just couldn’t hold all this muscle.” Jungkook says. “All of this,” He holds up his knuckles and flexes his knee out cautiously. He really isn’t that badly hurt. Jimin just makes a big deal out of everything. “Will be healed soon.” Jimin doesn’t seem too convinced. 

Jungkook shuts the evidence room door behind him, rubbing the back of his neck in slight regret. In hindsight, the whole vent idea was probably a bad idea. Even if it did end up sounding like a good plan, he should’ve sent Jimin in the vent instead of him. Jimin’s short stature and thin stance would have given him a much larger advantage than Jungkook had in a vent. Jimin also has a better sense of direction than Jungkook does. He probably wouldn’t have ended up crawling to the break room. 

Jimin sits Jungkook down, still side-eyeing him annoyingly for the vent incident. 

“Okay, so plan A failed!” Jungkook exclaims, worriedly positively. “Time for plan B!” 

Jimin’s right eyebrow lifts up in confusion. “Do you have a plan B?”

“Well… ” Jungkook pauses. “No, but we’ll work one out.” 

“Just no more vents, please?” Jimin pleads, and Jungkook agrees. As if Jimin would let him go five feet near a vent ever again even if he didn’t agree. 

“Okay, no more vents. I promise.” (Jungkook crosses his third finger over his index finger behind his back. Just in case. You never know when going inside a vent is going to come in handy.) 

“You know, I was thinking… ” Jimin ponders, and Jungkook perks up, listening intently. “It’s weird that Yoongi’s not back- ” Jungkook put a finger up, silently telling Jimin to shut up for a bit. He peeks outside the door through the blinds, frowning. After almost zero thought or consideration, he flings the door open and steps outside. 

“Hey!” Jimin squeaks out. “You’re not fully healed yet, you shouldn’t walk-!” He follows Jungkook out the door. Outside, possibly the most brutal fight ever happened in the precinct is going on. And that’s saying something. They have some of the highest arrest records in Seoul. 

You would be surprised how violent teenaged girls can get when you take away their phones. 

Jimin can still feel that bald spot at the back of his head if he reaches back far enough. That patch of hair will never grow back, he thinks sadly. Curse Kim Yoona, that little delinquent. He should’ve just left her alone when he saw her drinking a can of beer on the sidewalk. 

Outside, Jin and Taehyung are currently engaged in the most intense screaming match Jungkook has ever seen. 

“- Well then, WHY would you be out here messing with the box then?!” The squawking noise comes from Seokjin. 

“MESSING WITH THE BOX? I did no such thing!” And the shrieking is Taehyung’s voice. 

“You’re clearly trying to steal the box straight in front of us, idiot!” Squawk. 

“I was just trying to get to my desk!” Shriek. 

“wHY would you go through this path to get to your desk?” Squawk. 

Jungkook waves his arms, walking in between the two feuding men, as if his body can block out the squawking and shrieking. It doesn’t, and the men continue to argue through Jungkook’s torso. 

“You’re trying to win the heist by being an idiot? That’s what you’re doing?” 

“An idiot-? - Jungkook get out of the way I’m going to commit murder- ”

“Seokjin,” Jungkook sighs. “Don’t murder him in a police station. If you must, you might as well do it in a dark alley or something.” Taehyung looks offended, but he doesn’t have enough time to get mad or berate him through Jungkook’s ongoing speech. 

“What’s going on? Is the box still here?” Jungkook asks. The box is sat still just about a meter next to him, which is slightly relieving and at the same time, disappointing. He thought some real drama had been going on. 

Hoseok and Namjoon are huddled in a corner, watching. A sigh leaves Namjoon’s lips, but nobody can tell whether the source of the sigh is from frustration or just one of Namjoon’s periodic i-can’t-believe-i-work-with-these-idiots sighs, which Jungkook is usually the recipient of. 

The captain and the exasperated officer step forward, about to enter the screaming match. Jimin also shuffles towards the huddle of police, craning his head to examine the box- which is still sitting untouched. But not for long, of course. 

Namjoon frowns, already suspicious of the other side and he slides over next to Taehyung, defending him. The very same way, Hoseok stands at Seokjin’s side, quietly displaying a rare case of loyalty. Seokjin preens over the box, but he can’t open it to see if the watch is still inside- the others would surely protest. 

And Jungkook and Jimin are just left awkwardly to the side, looking over the looming threat of the severe conflict going on. 

“Who has the key?” The Captain asks. 

And well, you know the rest. (Just scroll up, please. For efficiency’s sake there will be a slight time skip. Thank you for your cooperation!)  

 two minutes after the start of the screaming match ~

“Yoongles-!” Seokjin yelps at the sight of Yoongi bursting in. Yoongi looks seemingly confused; obviously some sort of distraction or act he’s played up to confuse the precinct- well, Jungkook will have none of that, thank you very much. 

“Okay,” He scowls. “We get it, Yoongi, you intellectual smuck.” Yoongi stares blankly at Jungkook, mouthing the words ‘intellectual smuck’ silently to himself. 

“What, suddenly you have the vocabulary skill of an actual adult?” Yoongi asks in his signature dry and emotionless tone. Jungkook should be offended, but he still hasn’t passed that vocabulary test from the second grade, so maybe he has a point. 

Even the Captain is staring warily at Yoongi. Namjoon and Taehyung are just straight up glaring at this point. Jimin is just confused. 

“I just came back from a Starbucks- I didn’t want to support capitalism, but nothing else was open this late- what are you guys doing?” Before anyone can answer his obvious lie, he notices the chair in the middle of the room. “Oh hey,” He says, the expression on his face lifting up a little. “Are you guys done already?” 

Six heads slowly turn to the middle of the precinct to the chair that Jungkook had dragged out just half an hour ago. It’s empty, with just a light coating of dust left on the surface of the seat. The six heads turn back to Yoongi with knowing glances and pointed glares. 

He lifts one hand- the hand not holding the starbucks paper cup in surrender. 

“Wasn’t me.” He said, unconcerned. “Why would I bother stealing it?” But his hand clutching the coffee cup is placed weirdly, like he grabbed it hastily in the dark. And, Jungkook notices Yoongi's left knee is weirdly pressed against the second drawer in his desk. 

Jungkook’s eyes narrow. 

“Then if you didn’t steal it,” Yoongi rolls his eyes in irritation when he hears the word ‘steal’. “What’s in that second drawer, Yoongles?” Yoongi halts. After an odd moment of hesitation, he sets down his coffee. He swallows down nothing, gulping while darting his eyes around. His cheeks turn rosy, which is unsettling to see on his pale as white face. 

Min Yoongi is nervous, which is a sight Jungkook never thought he would live to see. 

Strangely enough, he exchanges a brief look to Jimin before stuttering out a response to Jungkook. “Ah- ” He blurts out. “Nothing.” 

“Nothing?” Namjoon barks out. “I take back the accusation I placed on Jungkook, then. Yoongi clearly orchestrated this whole thing.” Yoongi sputters out some noise of complaint. 

“Open the drawer, Min.” Hoseok commands, exercising his authority in a slightly (?) questionable way. However, nobody seems to be complaining. Nobody but Yoongi, of course. 

 “Hey!” He yells. “That's an infringement of privacy! You have no right to do so, even as my employer!” Hoseok, regrettably, has to commend his employee’s knowledge of rights and bylaws in the workplace. Jungkook curses. He only has two options to win the heist now, each just as unlikely feasible as the other. 

1.  Somehow manage to convince Yoongi to open his drawer, then grab onto the watch-box before anyone else gets a hold of it.

Highly unlikely that Yoongi will open his drawer in the first place; that man is the physical manifestation of the word stubborn. 

2.  Cause a distraction and break into Yoongi’s drawer. 

Quite unethical for a police officer to do in the first place. And also, he’d really prefer to come out of this heist alive. And Yoongi would definitely skin him alive if he went through his private stuff. So the best chance he’s got is to prod at option number one. 

Jungkook crosses his arms together. Beside him, Taehyung and Hoseok do the same. “There’s only one reason you wouldn’t open the damn drawer, sunbae.” He says. “It’s because you have the watch-box inside, isn’t it?” 

Seokjin nods in agreement. “You put up this whole front saying you want nothing to do with this and then dropping off to go get coffee so we wouldn’t suspect you!”

“How else can you explain all the lights suddenly turning off?”

“Must have been a freak power cut, I don’t know!”

“Also!” Jimin adds furiously. “You didn’t even get us anything from Starbucks! How could you? You know the pumpkin spice latte is only here until Halloween!” Which is the least of their worries right now, but Jimin’s remark is enough to make Yoongi flinch. 

“I’m telling you,” He insists, but his grip on the drawer hasn’t budged an inch. He’s nervous, but there’s a tiny proud or smug look in the corner of his eye. He definitely has the box. Jungkook’s now absolutely and completely sure of it. “I don’t have the stupid box thing!” 

“You lie.” Taehyung accuses, and Hoseok nods. He’s been strangely silent, although Jungkook supposes the Captain can’t very well get angry and begin reprimanding his officers for something like this. A secondary theory he has is that the Captain can’t afford to lose his steely-cool reputation, which would be upheld no matter what Hoseok does, but he doesn’t bother to point that out. 

“Hand over the box,” Jungkook says. “You can’t stay here all up until midnight.”

“I don’t have the goddamn box, for fuck’s sake-!” 

“Language. If the ‘goddamn box’ isn’t hidden in your desk, then what is in your drawer of mystery, Officer Min?”  

“Can a man not have his secrets?”

“Your secrets… are hidden in your office desk?” 

“... Never mind that, I heard Jungkook fell out of a vent again, what was that about?”

“He just can’t keep himself from falling out of vents.” 

“ONE TIME. - And you’re changing the subject! Stop it!”

Amidst the chaos unfolding, Namjoon stands in the corner, occasionally jumping in to jab a few words at a very infuriated Yoongi. When nobody is looking, the corner of Namjoon’s mouth tilts up in a smug, but subtle smirk. Nobody, not even his own ‘partner’ Taehyung is aware of the rectangular box containing someone’s certain watch in the second drawer of his desk. Now all he has to do is hold on to it until midnight. 

TO BE CONTINUED.

🎃 talk to the bangtan officers!  add yourself to the taglist!

TAGS; @extremeobsessions101​ @jksbbyfacebunny​ @dwcljh​ @stonyiscanon​ @bishuthot​ @s0seo​ @cecedrake2217​ 

[seven-oomen]

Okay, so first off, Happy Birthday to your cat!  I hope he got lots of his favorite treats.  Glad to hear that today went as well as can be hoped for you.  And overall today wasn’t too bad here.  We got several big truck deliveries, but when I deal with those I tend to deal less with customers, so it sort of balances itself out.  We’ve been told that we’ll be closing early all week because of the protests, so that’s been ramping the anxiety, but the internet has provided a number of pleasant distractions on my breaks.

Secondly, I would pick Noah for the one that has the second set of twins, for mainly two random reasons; 1) because last time it went Chris, then Noah, so it feels like it should do the same this time, and Chris already had Ben, 2) because it keeps the number of kids per family more balanced- 4 & 3 rather than 2 & 5.  Idk, my brain just gets weird about symmetry and balance in things and I’ve never figured out if it’s an ADD related thing or just a me thing.  Also, the idea of him trying to do his job while pregnant, with Chris and ESPECIALLY Peter trying to be super protective at the same time is just amusing to me.

And actually, thinking about that and the preview for the next chapter made me think of a couple things that didn’t make it into my reviews.  When/how/from whom did Chris learn about the fire? Did Gerard or Kate tell him in a gloating sort of way and kind of tip him off that something was hinky about it, or was it through other hunter contacts, so the thought of outside involvement came later?  

Was he still pregnant with Ben, or was it later on?  Did he contact anyone in Beacon Hills about it for further info at any point before he showed back up in town?  Because I was trying to think about some of the things that could turn up later for angst (why I was doing that to myself is anyone’s guess, but here we are…) and it occurred to me that if Noah was going to have any lingering upset over Chris leaving it would most likely (to me) be from the time right after the fire.  

He’s just lost Claudia, and went off the rails from it, but at least he had Peter, and Laura, and the other Hales.  Now Peter is in a coma, Laura’s left town, and the rest of his adopted/found family is dead.  He has no idea where Chris is, or if he’s safe from whoever did this (does he know about what happened between Chris and Peter before Chris left again?, and he’s dealing a set of even more heavily traumatized twins right now.  I feel like even the most understanding person is gonna have some stuff to work through there.  (Also, Jesus, poor Melissa [possibly for multiple reasons])

Uhhh…sorry to send things into a drama tailspin there for a moment.  Allow me to try and brighten things back up with the original impetus for me to make this a submission and not an ask; because you mentioned X-Men Halloween costumes and I have Thoughts.  *takes super deep breath*  Because omg, yes, so very many options.  

Side note - I would be so happy if someone dressed as Nightcrawler.  He is my precious fuzzy elfin bb, and I love him to bits and get so tired of him getting left out of things (looking at you Funko.)  I feel like Stiles or Peter have the best attitude match (maybe, MAYBE Jackson), but don’t know if anyone would want to deal with the amount of makeup involved.  But, anyway, just, the possibilities.  

Stiles telling Malia she can’t just take the easy way out by going as Wolfsbane, so she takes one of her old white A New Hope Leia dresses and cuts it down into an old school Mystique costume. 

 Peter pulling rank and telling Derek he’s the Alpha so he gets to be Wolverine (this even works better height-wise [I didn’t realize you didn’t know their approximate heights.  I’d looked them up before for…reasons.  Having seen them standing next to each other repeatedly, I’m pretty sure any actual height advantage Ian has comes strictly from his hair], although when Stiles points this out he earns himself a hell of a glare.)  

Naturally that means Chris has to be Cyclops, because, well, calm and serious.  Noah realizes this means they expect him to be Jean Grey.  (N: “Why can’t I ever be a character that wears normal pants?!” C: “Well I have to be the boring one all the time” P: “I mean, you are the closest to a telepath of the three of us.  Don’t you want us mock fighting over you?” N: “…if we do this I get my pick of the Phoenix costumes.”)  

Stiles and Noah trying to fight over getting to be Gambit so they can do exploding playing cards, but getting told they can’t be Gambit unless they can do the accent correctly (Gambit isn’t Gambit if he’s not Cajun, that’s just how it is, I don’t make the rules.)  While part of me thinks it’d be funny to see Jackson as Nightcrawler because of the tail thing, I think Stiles would be more entertaining.  

He’d make little smoke bomb things to fake the sulfur and brimstone effect of his teleporting.  All the family members with enhanced senses would HATE him because they STANK something fierce, and it LINGERED.  But anytime one of them tried to tackle him to get them away, he’d yell “BAMF!” throw on to the floor and run like hell.  

Jackson would be Iceman so he could make it a crossover costume with the character from Top Gun so he could wear aviators and a leather bomber with his outfit.  Allison could dress like Shadowcat from the early Excalibur run, and she could see if Ben would dress up as Lockheed with her (because that would be adorable).  

Derek would decide that if he can’t be Wolverine and glare angrily at people the whole time, he’ll be Colossus so he can just stare with silent disappointment the whole time.  Scott would decide he wants to be Cable (because “…he just looks so cool…”), so Melissa and Chris would dig through their old hunter gear to help him make his costume.  

Melissa could be Jubilee, and rig up little flash bangs to fake the plasma bursts (unlike Noah she has absolutely no qualms about proving that she can still rock a pair of short shorts.)  Lydia would either be Rogue to show off that SHE at least can manage a believable accent, or Emma Frost for the looks that costume would gain her from Allison.  

Alternatively; both sets of twins argue over who gets to be Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver, so they decide that one pair will do the classic comic version, and one will do either the Evolution cartoon version or the MCU version (though they are allowed to switch out the Quicksilver for the other film version if they choose).  

Lydia claims Mystique instead (it’s tempting to make her Banshee, but that seems a bit TOO on the nose), or maybe one of the other Phoenix looks (when I say Phoenix looks I mean Jean’s Phoenix or Dark Phoenix suit from the comics, because I LOVE that outfit), and Ben dresses as Beast (because that would also be adorable).  *finally stops to take another breath*  …umm…so anyway, yeah, as a perennial X-men fan I think it’s safe to say I love this idea, and am so grateful for you putting it in my head…  …sorry about the wall of text, I may have got a little carried away…  …again…

I loved every single sentence of this wall of text, so never apologize. (Although I did break it up a little before posting because that makes it easier to read for other people.

I think all of my ideas for the middle of this fic where either based on questions you, or @artemisa97​ asked me in reviews. So honestly, keep them coming if you want to ask them. They help me determine where the problem areas are, what kind of kinks I need to work out, so honestly, even the sad ones are a great help.

And yeah, I hadn’t looked up their heights yet, I just assumed Peter and Chris were a bit bigger than Noah, but I was delightfully wrong!

I do have one more gem to share, a height comparison of some of the boys and to show you just how tiny Ben is compared to the others.

Blue - Noah (182 cm / 6 ft)

Purple - Chris (177 cm / 5′10)

Red - Peter (178 cm / 5′10)

Yellow - Derek (183 cm / 6 ft)

Green - Ben (111 cm / 3′8)

Turquoise - Jackson (170 cm / 5′7)

Ben’s height is about average for someone between the age of 5 & 6, Jackson’s height is a little on the short side, but I’d imagine that he’d still grow a little until he’s like 20 and end up being around 175/176 cm.

I’d imagine Stiles to be a little taller around 172 cm, Allison is a little shorter at 165 cm and Malia is around 168 cm. (They will all still grow a bit, averaging between 173 (Allison) and 178 (Stiles) )

And the one thing I will say about whether or not Noah gets the twins, without getting too spoilery, or maybe it is, I’m sorry if it is but I can’t help not share.

Is that eventually both Noah and Chris have the same amount of kids from Peter. And one of them has twins. I’m still debating on names, in the deleted scene I named them Mikhail and Adeline, I currently have different names picked out. 

And I think the balance thing is ADD related, because I had the same issue with planning the story XD. So yeah, Peter gets to have a lot of kids, and adopt a lot more into the pack, because Season 2 is kinda canon in this universe, in the sense that Isaac, Erica, and Boyd are still turned. Kira comes along, and of course Lydia. Considering what I have planned for Danny and Mack, I might add them to the pack as well.

And omg I LIVE for those X-men costume ideas <3 Omg. I love it. Considering Stiles’ abilities he would definitely be Nightcrawler and would probably use a quick spell or two to get the makeup in place. (A druid invented this fantastic spell to always get eyeliner on fucking point and shared it in their spellbook. Spoiler alert; said druid was Noah in his teenage punk years. Turns out, it works for other makeup too.)

And I’m in fucking love with all of these ideas actually, I can’t really say which I like more.

[rhysie-cakes314]

Day 14- Revenge

This one is just a silly crack fic to break up all the chapters of hurt and deep stuff.

Clint and Tony had a Halloween tradition. Every year, they attempted to pull a prank that got the other to scream. The first of October all the way through the 31st was all fair game. Whoever screamed first lost. To make things fair, Tony always let Clint have full access to his credit cards and JARVIS kept their plans from each other equally. Last year, Clint had got Tony good. Tony tried to blame it on being sleep deprived, but they all knew the truth. Clint had used Tony’s high-pitched scream as a ringtone for months. In fact, Clint had won three years in a row now.

This year, it was time for Tony’s revenge. He was going to make Clint have nightmares with his prank. Everyone but Thor was on his side this time, or at least they claimed to be. It was common for one of the other Avengers to double-cross the pranksters in the October games. To make sure he wasn’t screwed over by a last minute double cross, Tony had told them all one plan, but had a different plan going on his own as backup. He’d be lying if he said he put any faith at all in the plan that included the others. Trusting Natasha or Phil to work against Clint would be stupid of him, although Phil always claimed to be staying out of it.

So as far as his co-conspirators knew, the plan was to feed Clint a drug laced pumpkin pie, then when he was tripping, scare the shit out of him with an air horn and strobe lights (in case Clint wasn’t wearing his hearing aids). It was nice and simple. Clint usually ate a whole pie himself, so it wasn’t even unusual to make several different pies. When the rest of them were eating pie around him, it would hopefully help the archer disregard any suspicion.

The real plan, as Tony was calling it in his head, was much more complicated. Tony had started planning it in April. It hinged entirely on how observant Clint was. Tony knew the man was acutely aware of even the most useless details of his everyday life the same way Natasha and Phil were. He figured it must be a habit one picks up at SHIELD. So back six months ago, Tony began making sure the tower was only stocked with the same toothpaste brand every time. If someone went shopping on their own and bought the wrong brand, Tony replaced it with the correct one.

Which leads into October. At midnight last night, Tony replaced all toothpaste in the tower with a different brand. Clint would naturally be suspicious, and instead of risking it, he’d go to his emergency disappearance bag that he thought Tony didn’t know about. It was honestly silly that anyone in the tower thought they could own something and Tony wouldn’t know about it. His personal AI ran the tower! Natasha had her own bag as well. They were well stocked with everything one might need if they suddenly needed to go off the grid. It was a good idea to have, and finding Clint’s had made him consider packing his own. He decided against it, deciding that he would be useless without being able to use any traceable tech, so going off grid would never be an option for him. Plus, he was much harder to disguise than Clint or Natasha. His face had been in the news his whole life.

So when Clint this morning went to brush his teeth, the plan was for him to go get his bag out of its hiding spot in the vents. What Clint didn’t know was that Tony had placed a trap for him there, that was motion sensitive. Clint wouldn’t know what hit him when the flex cage Tony had designed suddenly wraps around his body. If he managed to not scream as he was trapped, there was still more to the plan. Clint was afraid of spiders. It was a weakness Tony hadn’t taken advantage of in previous years because it felt like cheating, but after last year’s loss where Clint had used his fear of water against him, Tony was finished with mercy. The archer thought he hid the fear well, but he tensed up ever so slightly at the sight of a spider, and Tony had found footage from a CCTV camera outside a grocery store that showed the man screaming and freaking out when a spider landed on his arm. If Clint didn’t scream from the trap, Tony could activate a small door built into the wall of the vent where several spiders were currently very crowded in a tiny space. They would crawl out any chance they got.

Tony now sat one room over from the vent he knew Clint would go to. He smiled when he heard the archer shuffle through the hallway towards the room. This was going to be epic. Tony heard Clint move the furniture covering the vent out of the way and pull the metal grate off. It would be any minute now.

The unmistakable sound of the flex cage bounding around someone was loud enough through the wall and Tony held his breath. All that accompanied the sound was a muffled “mph!” from the archer. Tony sighed. Time for plan B. He tapped the small icon on his phone that would activate the spiders. This had to work, it was full proof!

Nothing. Tony wanted to pull his hair out. He didn’t even hear an ‘ew’! Not a single reaction out of his victim. Right, there was no choice but to investigate what had gone wrong. At least the pie plan would still happen next week. There was time to come up with more schemes before time was up. Tony crept around the corner, peering into the library. From the doorway, he could see Clint’s feet with his stupid purple socks, but not the rest of his prone body. The room was silent. Tony jumped into the room, maybe he’d get lucky and startle Clint himself.

“What the-” the genius growled. The flex cage had apparently attacked a lamp. A lamp that was somehow attached to faux feet covered in purple socks. How the fuck had the man seen through his plan? Or avoided the spiders? Even though Clint clearly set off the trap on purpose with the lamp, the spiders should still have frightened him. Where was the birdbrain anyway?

An air horn sounded just behind him and to the right. Tony couldn’t possibly have been ready to stifle his startled scream. “Hnyaaargh!” He flailed around stupidly before he fell on his ass.

Standing above him, smirking, was Clint. “How!?” Tony yelled. “You’re impossible!”

Clint, the rotten bastard, didn’t answer him. He merely held up his cell phone and pressed play. Tony could see himself scram and fall on the tiny screen. “I win again!” Clint sang happily. He left the room shouting “We are the champions, my friends,” to the tower, effectively waking up any Avenger who wasn’t already up. Tony just remained sitting on the floor, gaping at the doorway where Clint had left.

“JARVIS, what the hell just happened?”

“I believe you just lost for the fourth year in a row, sir,” JARVIS sounded pitying. Tony picked up the lamp that was wrapped in his stupid invention, a rubbery self adhesive that sought heat so it’d curve around bodies to get to their body-heat, the ‘flex cage’ he had been so proud of only moments ago. He hurled the lamp across the room, where it shattered against the wall. He had been so certain of his revenge this year! Then he had been taken down by an air horn. What kind of a genius couldn’t out plan Clint Barton?

The sound of shattering porcelain and glass brought Steve running there. “Tony! Are you okay?” Steve looked at the scene in the library. The confusion slid away after a moment. “Oh, honey, I’m sorry. I really thought you had it this year.”

Tony let his boyfriend help him up but dodged the pity hug. He didn’t feel like getting Steve’s comfort right now. “Yeah, me too,” his voice monotone. This was a stupid contest, he shouldn’t be this upset about it. Stupid Tony Stark being oversensitive when he loses a stupid game because his plans are stupid. And the world called him a genius? Boy, had he fooled everyone. He was never going to get revenge on Clint.

Steve followed the man silently to the kitchen. His frown deepened when Tony poured some Bailey’s in his coffee at six in the morning. “Tony,” he tried gently, but his mouth snapped shut when Tony shot him a vicious glare.

“Don’t,” Tony bit out. “It’s just a game, I’m fine.” He downed the drink, made another, and quickly drank it as well. He kept the third mug full alcohol-free, and waltzed past the worried blond to go to his lab. He could feel Steve following him like a shadow, but ignored the man. Maybe he would just give up and go away.

Tony had no such luck. Steve was nearly as stubborn as he was. “When did you start drinking in the morning?” Steve finally broke the tense silence fifteen minutes later.

Tony ground his teeth and closed the file he was working out. “Don’t read too much into it, it was just a little something to take the edge off.” Tony forced his voice to sound more calm with each word. “Plus, I didn’t sleep last night, so it’s basically not even morning for me.” Tony threw him a Stark patent smirk to complete the effect.

Steve gave up. “Fine, let me know if you feel like being honest again,” he snapped. Tony watched him leave with a perverse satisfaction. At least he always succeeded at pushing people who wanted to help away. It was his best talent.

“JARVIS, pull up the footage of the library from when Clint entered this morning.” Tony watched as the archer lightly pushed the lamp into the vent, standing back when the trap activated. Then he saw the archer reach in and pull his arm out with a smile, looking at the crawling black dots on his arm. Before Tony saw himself walk in, Clint gently brushed off the spiders, and walked over to hide beside the doorway.

The man wasn’t even afraid of spiders! What the actual fuck!? He swept the screen away with a scowl. Maybe Clint had fooled them all. He was actually more of a genius than Tony and just played a dimmer character all these years. If Clint was actually a genius, the only use Tony really was was his money. “I just wanted revenge! Is that too much to ask?” He asked the silent lab.

“Apparently so,” JARVIS answered him sarcastically. Tony should never have given him an attitude.

“Shut up, JARVIS.” Tony felt like his head was splitting open, and he bent over, holding it between his legs. “I don’t even know my own friends,” he told himself miserably. He could hear Howard in his head reminding him how much he sucked. No one will ever actually like you. They will pretend so they can use you, sure, but who could like that? He would say, gesturing at all of Tony with a look of disgust on his face. God, Tony was pathetic. He still let his dead father ruin things and effect his reactions to silly pranks after all these years.

Tony heard the lab open, but had no interest in lifting his head off his work table to see the intruder. “What,” he asked tiredly. Clint invaded his vision, appearing beside him on the bench. Tony sighed, sitting up. “Come to gloat?”

“Nope,” Clint made a loud pop on the ‘p’ sound. “Came to tell you the plan was actually brilliant. You totally would’ve got me if I hadn’t been faking arachnophobia for the last ten years of my life. I was waiting for it to finally pay off, so thanks for that.” He grinned at Tony.

Faking arachnophobia? Clint hadn’t been trying to hide his reactions to spiders, he had been pretending to hide a fake reaction. He screamed and reacted even when alone just to be sure. It was the most intense double-bluff Tony had ever seen. “But why?” he blurted out. It was utterly insane. Of course Tony hadn’t thought of that! The fake phobia had been going on before they had even started the prank competitions. He suddenly felt much better about the whole thing. His observation skills and planning wasn’t at fault, Clint was just insane.

Clint shrugged. “Needed a long con to keep me entertained.” He met Tony’s horrified gaze. “Wonder what con will play out next,” he teased.

“Do we even know you?”

Clint laughed like an evil madman. “Does anyone really know anyone?” he asked like some sphinx in a story. He dodged the wrench Tony threw at him as he continued his loud cackling and left the lab. Tony’s thirst for revenge was completely rekindled. He was going to start planning for next year right now.

[musicallisto]

hello there, love! can i request to be shipped from a male character in the sophomore, ilitw, and high school story? I'm a female with dark brown eyes (almost black) and jet black hair. I'm slightly tan. I like listening to music especially indie and bands (coldplay, imagine dragons, bastille), movies, eating at fast foods alone, can appreciate dry and self deprecating humor. i hardly open up but i like listening to others. i get attach to fictional characters, d eEP CONVERSATIONS && theories!!

we have the same music taste vkvkvkvkvk

I Ship You With…

Z I G   O R T E G A

(faceclaim: Santiago Segura)• You would introduce him to soooo much good music. Actually, it would be an exchange, because you both know some excellent artists and tracks and you’re dying to share them with someone, stan them and bingewatch their concerts and interviews. When you first meet and eventually start dating, you have very different musical tastes but as days pass and you begin to show each other your favorite songs, they evolve into a perfect mixture of the best of your favorite genres! You end up creating a collaborative Spotify playlist - you know, those kinds of playlists that you can both freely add songs to and when you’re not sleeping with each other, it’s a tradition to send the other the link to your favorite song at the moment. That way, you discover tons of new bands to stan and Zig becomes this huge Imagine Dragons and Muse fan (also he develops a slight admirative crush on Chris Martin but like who doesn’t have a crush on this man honestly, a true hero)

• Okay you like eating at fast foods alone and he’s very concerned about his diet, his well-being and his health since he must remain in perfect shape for his ballet, so it’s not that often that you eat pizza or burgers together. (actually, close to never.) so instead, you have these homecooked, delicious meals where you just invite each other, cook together and end up tasting your, ahem, culinary invention. Neither of you are gifted cookers so it usually ends up in a huge food fight in the kitchen, tainting poor, passing-through Becca’s blouse and terrified-yet-mildly-amused Aaron’s T-shirt. There’s cake preparation on every single wall and on the floor as well, strawberries dead on the countertops and eggshells laying wounded next to the bowl, so it’s safe to say that cookery speaking, it’s a disaster, but neither of you really mind after the absolutely amazing reenactment of a medieval battle you’ve just made, and when Zig leans in to “wipe from flour off your face” (it quickly turns into a heated make-out session on the worktop until a traumatized Zack walks in and yells he’ll need to “sluice his eyes with acid to forget the obsecenity he just witnessed”.

T Y L E R

(faceclaim: Harry Shum Jr.)• MOVIES AND TV SHOWS MARATHONS, ohmygod, so many of them. The funny thing is neither of you actually have a Netflix account. You’re just constantly stealing your friends’ codes, especially Becca’s and Chris’s, because they’re too busy working or… doing undefined presidential stuff to notice and also to even use their Netflix. So you’re basically the hugest moochers the world has ever known but none of you mind because what’s the point of having Netflix if you’re not gonna use it, that shit’s expensive plus they’re technically just doing a friend favor amirite? So you regularly have The Crown And The Flame marathons, you know how much Tyler loves that show and even if at first you only agreed to watch it so he would stop talking about it 25/8, you ended up adoring the story and the characters, so you watch the three seasons every once in a while and can basically recite all the script by heart. You even dressed up as Annelyse for Halloween so you would match with Tyler and Abbie! Your personal guilty pleasure, however, are Cassandra Leigh movies, that woman is just so talented and beautiful, and her acting is always on point! Tyler wasn’t a huge fan of it at first but eventually liked her movies more and more (and also, he just loves to see his best friend happy and fangirling over her movies, because it’s cute and rewarding and also it can always be useful for blackmailing so be warned)

• You are King and Queen of self-deprecating humor and dark references and memes that literally no one else understands. Sometimes you’ll just look at each other and literally say or do NOTHING and burst out laughing like a bunch of kids. You just have so many private jokes and memories with Tyler that are simply impossible to understand for someone who doesn’t have a brain and a sense of humor wired like yours. Also there’s literally no boundaries in your self-mockery, like you’ll just point at a trash can in the street and simply say “same” and the rest of the gang will ask you why you say that, telling you it’s not true, you’re beautiful and worth it etc., but Tyler will randomly laugh because he knows. And at this point it’s become a competition between you. You have yet to decide the prize but whoever comes up with the best self-deprecating punchline wins… something. Between the “you know they made a day dedicated to me? It’s garbage day!” and the “my personality in a nutshell is the loser character trait from the Sims”, it’s a concerto of mockery and the others don’t understand how you can possibly laugh at somethiing so sad?? but intellectuals (Tyler and you) know it’s the best form of humor and the tournament still goes on day by day

N O A H   M A R S H A L L

(faceclaim: Nick Robinson)• Before anyone comes @ me, I KNOW HE’S NOT A LI AND HE’S A TRAITOR BUT ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE WHEN YOU LIVE IN AN ESCAPIST FANTASY CREATED AS A SELF-DEFENCE MECHANISM TO COPE WITH THE HARDSHIPS OF LIFE so yeah I ship you with Noah. You would help him after Jane’s death, being the most comprehensive and supportive friend ever. Despite your young age, you knew what Noah wanted in those troubled times what a lot of space and quiet, and every now and then a friend to talk to, to distract himself.That’s what you became for him. When all the others children were circling around him like vultures, asking for stories, all the juicy and gruesome details about her death, about that supposed thing that thing that supposedly killed her, you were the one who scared them away, protecting your best friend and telling them how inconsiderate and heartless they were being. You easily were one of the most mature and friendly people he’d ever known, also giving him support and sometimes advice to face his mother and the abrupt departure of his father. When you grew up, you always helped him stay focused on what really mattered to him, reminding him of the diner he wanted to open, of his plans for the future. It was only a matter of years until he realized he was in love with his childhood best friend, who had been there for him through the good and the bad.

• Since you started dating Noah, a few years after the end of high school because he was not feeling ready to be involved romantically with anyone then, you realized that your attachment to fictional characters started to evolve. You could almost always see a pattern in the characters you prefered in books: it was often the lonely, tortured and sarcastic character, withdrawn because of his dark past, and you were quick to determine that it was because of how much they reminded you of Noah after all the shit happened. He was feeling a lot better now, and you could see how radiant he was in his culinary major, but you always remembered all the hardships you had to face and all the self-esteem issues you had to fight from both sides. Also, Noah understood perfectly what it was like to be completely fucked up by a book or a TV show, and to get attached to a character to the point that you can’t stop thinking about them and feel like a own member of your family died when the sadistic author decides to put an end to their suffering. (can u tell this is personal experience) He never judges you and always comforts you when your favorite character died or is having a hard time or your OTP became canon or you’re just hyperventilating/ugly crying because of fictional universes.

• After several years of fighting and struggling, and many days of hopefulness, Noah’s dream of opening his own diner finally comes true and he’s more glowing than you’ve ever seen him. He’s incredibly thankful because not only have you been morally helpful, you’ve also helped him economically and he doesn’t think he’ll ever be able to repay you. You don’t want anything of course: just saying your boyfriend truly happy is fabulously rewarding. Baby Jane’s soon becomes a known spot for Westchester locals, who more or less all know Noah from the time he lived there, and it feels weird yet great to move back to your hometown after so many years. You sometimes help him when you have a day off work, cooking with him or, more usually, you work as a waitress because he playfully kisses you while saying “Listen, I love you a lot, but I’m better slaving over a hot stove.” You don’t mind, because it’s always a pleasure to work with him and since the customers remember you from your younger days, you get the chance to chat with them and reunite with your old group of friends, who come to visit you every once in a while. It’s a calm and placid life, but after everything you’ve been through, it’s everything you want and deserve.

A N D Y   K A N G

(faceclaim: Min Jun Qian)• Your best friend would be Andy, and this since childhood, just like Noah! He would be a rock for you, always there to cheer you up and listen to you when you’re down, and you would be equally comforting to him, especially when he’s going through figuring out his life and his identity. He would’ve been so lost without you during his childhood and adolescence, after the terrifying Jane drama and everything that came after. He quickly becomes you partner in crime and, being a little more extroverted than you, he’s often the one who introduces you to his friends, invites you to parties through mutual acquaintances, and sometimes even gives you ideas for uh… some not-so-authorized stuff in the school, but you only agree if you know it’s perfectly safe and you don’t risk anything (or at least, anything too important) because you have to admit the thrills and the adrenaline are what you live for in those little moments, especially with your best friend.

• He’s also the one you can have deep conversations with during high school. You know Noah is still too emotionally bruised to talk about things that he may consider “depressing” or “too big for children to understand”, and you respect that he doesn’t want to get involved in those kinds of heavy reflections. However, you really want to discuss about them with someone, and Andy is the perfect person for that. He’s very open-minded, intelligent and ressourceful. His goofy, funny side always adds a twist to the theories you already know and debate about - “maybe you are an Illuminati, how can I be sure I can trust you?” (to which you answer “you can’t” with a malicious smile). Sometimes it’s not even that deep, it’s just talking about what you think is going to happen next in your favorite TV shows or books, or discussing a character’s psychology - it often happens that Andy and you have drastically opposed points of view on the same character and you like to confront them and understand why the other likes them, or hates them.

• Your favorite spot to talk about those theories and have those philosophical conversations about the moon, the earth, society and reality is in his garden. When you were kids, you used to have sleepovers at his house and your parents never minded because they were friends with Andy’s; now that you’re older, you basically spend most of your free nights at his place, laying on the grass and watching the navy blue sky. You built a little wooden house in the trees in his backyard when you were twelve, with the help of your friends and his parents, and it has a perfect view of the sky and the trees below. At first, going up there is very difficult, especially surrounding yourselves with trees and the singing of the forest, but the more you went up in the tree house, the easier it was to go back to the forest. It’s so calm and placid up there, with only the birds chirping to disturb you, or rather soothe you, and you’ve lost count of the nights you’ve fallen asleep there. It’s the best place to have deep conversations and also silly dares, and it’s so peaceful that you can almost forget all the bad stuff that happened in your youth.

I’m sorry but I didn’t have time to write a long headcanon like those up there for HSS! Just know that I romantically ship you with Michael Harrison, someone you’d be able to talk to about anything, from the silliest things (“do crabs think fish are flying?”) to the deepest (”what do you think Area 51 is really?”), and he’d always be up for a good laugh. And your best friend would be Morgan Jennings, being one of Michael’s best friends, she became yours as well, and you would love the same kind of music and go to concerts together and collectively lose your shit. Everyone thinks Morgan is a little selfish, but you know better than that, and you want to prove everyone that she actually has a heart of gold!

Hope you don’t mind this, I didn’t want to make you wait any longer and it was getting a lot for me to write!

Moodboard

bigger version

Playlist

Oasis - Wonderwall (yES)Coldplay - Adventure of a LifetimeArctic Monkeys - R U Mine?Halsey - Ghost

[swiftsgetawaycar]

NATIONAL PUMPKIN DAY FT. TAYLOR SWIFT’S PUMPKIN PATCH

So, apparently it’s national Pumpkin Day and in honour of that (and RFI’s MV coming out later one) I wanted to do The Pumpkins™ Explanation & Appreciation post. Starting noowwwwwwwww….!!

Okay, well, a while ago now, I was going about my daily Tumblr routine of reflagging and liking posts related to Her Majesty Queen @taylorswift when I stumbled upon a post about it be autumn and Red (2012) season. Being my fall-loving self, I reblogged the post with a comment and it then turned into something way bigger than mere Red appreciation. @spoookyswift whose post it was, messaged me and we very swiftly (wink wink) became friends. (Flora is my amazing pumpkin mama but we’ll come onto that in a bit!) She told me that she had just made a group chat and asked if I wanted to join, I jumped at the opportunity because I didn’t really have many swiftie friends, and after an annoying process trying to get a group me account, I was in!

Not long after I joined, we decided we needed a better name than “the group chat” because that’s not catchy at all and our girl @taylorswift would not appreciate our hook-less existence so we started talking about names and for a while it looking like it’d be #justiceformeredeth or 80% Gay Swifties (which we all still think is relevant tbh ahah) but THEN because we’re the people we are, we got into a heated discussion about whether The Nightmare before Christmas is indeed a Christmas movie or rather a halloween movie, our division led to Flora (our fearless leader) casually typing in “controversial pumpkins” and THAT WAS THE MOMENT I KNEW and I said “OMG THATS IT”. Then there were multiple more polls for voting on a name, my favourite of them all being ‘the gay pumpkins Meredith disapproved of, until we settled almost unanimously (there was one controversial pumpkin who voted against the name) on the Controversial Pumpkins™. Thus, the Pumpkin Patch was born and the 10 of us at the time quickly threw around “pumpkin” like Taylor uses “dude”.  So that’s how we got the name, but what the patch is and always has been even since it’s nameless days with only Meredith as our icon pic (what? It’s an ICONIC PICTURE OF MEREDITH!) is a place of love, joy and all-round positive vibes. It’s somewhere where we all can share stuff about ourselves free of judgement, a place where we can get advice about sticky situations we’ve stumbled into, somewhere safe enough for us to be honest and to know that there is a whole bunch of people with nothing but love and support for us. Yet, it’s also a place of endless joking around, meme-sharing and boy-hating. It’s a family of people from all across this crazy world who came together because of Taylor Alison Swift but have stayed together because of each other. I am so SO lucky to have these amazing people in my life, they bring me so much happiness and joy every single day and I have no clue what I’d do without them. In short, @spoookyswift, we owe you big time for choosing us to be a part of the secret session that is The Pumpkins™. Speaking of Flora……

Flora // @spoookyswift

My darling Flora, where do I even begin? Oh, wait, I know, with that time WE WERE BOTH IN TAYLOR SWIFT’S FUCKING LIVING ROOM LISTENING TO REPUTATION AND EATING COOKIES AND WE DID NOT KNOW WE WERE BOTH FUCKING THERE BECAUSE WE KEPT IT SO SECRET AND WERE STUPID PUMPKINS AND SO I’VE NEVER GOTTEN TO HUG YOUR PUMPKIN ASS?!?!?! (Yeah, I’m not still bitter or anything hhahahahhah) No, but seriously, you’re Mama Pumpkin and we have you to thank for The Pumpkins™, I will be forever grateful that you picked me to be a part of the patch and that ever since you’ve been the greatest friend a girl could ask for! You’re my snake buddy although you’re convinced you’re a bean we both know you’re just as snakes as I am!! YOUR TAYLOR’S PUMPKIN BITCH WHICH MAKES ME EXPLODE WITH JOY AS WELL AS KIND OF WANT TO HURT YOU BUT DW I WOULD NEVER! My weird heart loves you weird heart forever 💖

Ceci // @cats-and-wildest-dreams

CECI, YOU ARE THE LITERAL CUTEST! You went away for like 24hrs and I almost died from missing you!!! You are an absolutely GORGEOUS pumpkin and make me smile so hard on a regular basis. I know you think that Tay will never notice you but I promise that she loves you just as much as I do and you’ll get your moment with her even if I have to fly to Nashville myself and speak to Taylor Nation!!

Megan //  @sweetteaswift

My first memory of Megan is when she was chasing down a UPS truck in her Speak Now t-shirt to get a photo with it because it had Reputation on the side and my snap chatting her from the library where I was supposed to be studying advising her on how to get the girl the perfect shot. I think that basically describes our relationship since. Although, she’s the only pumpkin who has appreciated my dogs and I’m still waiting for her to get her Pumpkin butt on a plane to meet them!  SHE IS THE EXTRA PUMPKIN!

Nikki // @greysswifts

NIKKI IS MY GAY ASS AUNT AND IM NOT EVEN CLOSE TO SAD ABOUT IT!! Seriously, Nikki is our resident LGBT Pumpkin Queen and is always up for dragging boys like Taylor does in her songs, unapologetically and with all the dignity in the world. SHE HAS THE VOICE OF AN ANGEL and always brightens up the Pumpkin Patch. AND I WANT HER HANDLE COZ DAMN IT’S COOL! In short, I stan Nikki!

Aislinn // @theyhaventyet

Our lovely Canadian Pumpkin, Aislinn, WAS THE ORIGINAL CONTROVERSIAL PUMPKIN, I REPAT THE OG CONTROVERSIAL PUMPKIN WAS AISLINN!!!!! The first thing that comes to mind when I think of her is Thanksgiving and me talking to her about it because I LOVE CANADA and my boarding school experience happened there and that’s about me not her so back to Aislinn WHO IS THE BEST AND I LOVE HER SO MUCH AND I WIL FIGHT ANYONE WHO HURTS HER PURE LITTLE CLOUD OF JOY ASS!

Ozge // @wildestgiraffe

OZGE! MY TURKISH PUMPKIN FLOWER BUTTON BALL OF POSITIVITY AND JOY! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH AND YOU’RE SO SWEET TO ALL OF US AND YOU MAKE THE PATCH SUCH A BEAUTIFUL PLACE TO BE A PART OF AND I KNOW THIS IS ALL IN CAPS WITH NO PUNCTUATION BUT I JUST AM EXPLODING WITH LOVE FOR YOU!

Yolanda // @sadbeautifultragicswift

This genius invented the Speak Now Pumpkin™ karaoke challenge which has blessed us with so much pure happiness and the cutest and most gorgeous voices ever so THANK YOU GENIUS GODESS FOR THAT! You’re always so incredibly lovely to all of us and I appreciate that more than you know! ALSO, YOU KNOW LIKE EVERYTHING and I love your messages because they make me laugh as well as feel inadequate for having the memory of a donut! AND YOU ARE THE CALENDAR PUMPKIN AND WE APPRECIATE YOUR SERVICE FOR OUR COUNTRY!! I still laugh over how you didn’t realise I went to the SS and told me I “DIED DED” LOVE YOU - DON’T EVER CHANGE OKAY?!?!

Katie // @these-sick-beats

You are the cutest and I love you like a lot and thank you for being such a supportive and wonderful pumpkin! Although we haven’t chatted much you’ve been nothing but nice and you’ve kept secret my secret if you know what I mean!

Janessa // @fifth-harmony

Although you stan not just Queen Taylor, you’re a swift through and through! YOU ARE SO FUNNY AND KIND AND WE MISS YOU ON THE CHAT COME BACK BE (T)HERE!!

Julia // @fragileswiftie13

JULIA BLESS YOUR CONTROVERSIAL PUMPKIN HEART!! You’re amazing drawings for whatever-the-fuck-science-of-cells-is-called class started the whole donuts vs nuclei debate which I am happy to report ended in a CLEAR victory for donuts (or as Flora says Dough-nuts) but seriously, you’re such an amazing person who I’m lucky to have met, YOU LOOK GORGEOUS WITH YOUR BRACES ON I’LL PUNCH WHOEVER SAYS DIFFERENT! Please don’t ever forget how wonderful you are!!

Laura // @swiftslastkiss

FIRSTLY YOUR PIC WITH TAYLOR IS THE ABSOLUTE GREATEST TO EVER EXIST YOU LUCKY PUMPKIN!!! You’re such an incredible friend and your heart is pure goodness and I cannot wait for the day I get to hug you because you’re the best and the Patch would not be the same without you, you make us all better pumpkins!

Lina // @confesswift

THE VIOLENT PUMPKIN OF THE PATCH AND THE

Sarah // @thatwasthenightthingschanged

GERMAN PUMPKIN, you sent the funniest messages and your Red poll was iconic! Not to mention how GORGEOUS of a person you are inside and out! Also, you’re my name twin pumpkin because although I’m Sara (SAH-RA) people call me Sarah so much it may as well be my name aha!  you dragging

Sammy // @theswiftreputation

Steve Irwin Pumpkin, I’m so glad I met your Aussie pumpkin ass - we’ll have to become Roos on January 26th ahah and show the Patch a real party!!  YOU ARE AN AMAZING BEAUTIFUL PUMPKIN WHO DESERVES ALL THE GOOD IN THE WORLD AND I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!! YOUR LITTLE LAMBY IS THE CUTEST EVER I JUST WANNA SNUGLLE UP WITH HER!! All my fingers are crossed that your march order gets to you problem free aha

Talia // @locketswifts

TALIA BABE YOU’RE AMAZING AND I CANNOT THANK YOU ENOUGH FOR BEING YOUR BEAUTIFUL PUMPKIN SELF! I LOVE YOU - ENOUGH SAID! 

Safira // @acciothirteen

I’m so relieved you’re NOT a kiwi despite living in NZ otherwise there would’ve been some interesting sport related convos aha! BUT the minute your username came up in conversation I knew I’d like you and you haven’t proven me wrong! You’re sure sweet and smart and I LOVE HAVING YOU IN THE PACTH KIDDO!

Emily // @enchanteds

FAMOUS KERMIT GIRL TURNED INTO PUMPKIN YOU’VE BEEN IN THE CHAT FOR LIKE 3 DAYS AND I ALREADY ADORE YOU AND THINK YOU’RE THE BEST PERSON EVER! LONG LIVE YOUR KERMIT MEMES AND YOUR INCREDIBLE ICON

Dacia // @fifteenmp3

YOU ARE ALSO NEW BUT FABULOUS! YOU’VE MADE ME SMILE SO MUCH OVER THE PAST FEW DAYS, YOU FIT INTO THE PATCH PERFECTLY, IT’S LIKE YOU’VE ALWAYS BEEN A PUMPKIN AND WE LOVE YOU SO MUCH! Thank you for existing!

Morgan // @teylors

ANOTHER NEW PUMPKIN WHO I LOVE AND WHO LOVES TREE!! YOU ARE ALSO FAMOUS TUMBLR THAT WE TRIED REALLY HARD TO ACT COOL FOR AND I’M SURE BY NOW YOU’VE REALISED ‘COOL’ ISN’T HOW MOST PEOPLE WOULD DESCRIBE US BUT WE’RE ALL COOL ASS PUMPKINS IN THE PATCH! YOUR KERMIT POSTS ALSO MAKE MY DAY AND I’M GLAD THAT YOU AND EMILY PROVIDE A LITTLE GREEN AMONGST ALL THE ORANGE!

Okay, I think that’s the whole patch and if not, I AM SO SORRY PUMPKIN I PROMISE IT’S NOT BECAUSE I DON’T LOVE AND APPRECIATE YOU MY BRAIN IS JUST NON-FUNCTIONING A LOT OF THE TIME!!!

In conclusion, seeing as this has turned into an essay, these people make my day every day. I am so very lucky to have them in my life and everytime I see I have notifications from our chat I automatically smile. MY HEART IS FULL OF LOVE FOR MY PUMPKINS - IMMA SLUT FOR ALL OF YOU!! So, dear Pumpkins, thank you so very much for these past few months and for allowing me somewhere to be understood, laughed with not at and loved for my weird and wild ways. I LOVE YOU GUYS. THANK YOU ALSO TO OUR QUEEN, LORD AND SAVIOUR @taylorswift FOR OWNING ALL OUR ASSES IN THE FIRST PLACE AND THUS MAKING US FAMILY!

14 DAYS TILL THE PUMPKINS DIE BUT HEY, RIGHT NOW WE’RE THE LUCKY ONES!

LOVE FROM ALL MY PUMPKIN HEART,

Sar xxx

[eglantinian]

So i got tagged by @eponineinthebarricade, @bisexual-eponine, @kugirocks, @eponinexenjolras​ for this, and i decided i’ll just drop them all here for fun. i put in all my questions and those i tagged above, so if it’s not their thing to read the answers of other people, they don’t need to check mine out.

mechanics:

answer 11 questions

create 11 questions (for those i’ll be tagging) 1. What can cheer you up no matter how sad you are feeling? 2. How are you, really? (if you’re up for sharing, go ahead. if not, well, then, just say pass, and move on from this one) 3. Whose face do you think of when you hear the word humble? 4. What do you generally dislike about a certain fandom you are in? 5. If you can create a word, what would that be? 6. Was there something you said that you wish you could take back? 7. What irritates you? 8. What cultural norm do you wish wasn’the norm? 9. What’s one thing you would sacrifice everything for? 10. Would you want to die in Mars? 11. If you were in a zombie apocalypse, what weapon would you use, and why?

tag 11 persons: 1/ @ladywolfmd, 2/ @tomorrowatdawn, 3/ @xreyoflight, 4/ @skip-is-tired, 5/ @astoryinred, 6/ @courageandbravery 7/ @thesovereignempress, 8/ @eponinetdaae, 9/ @eponniia, 10/ @encarnalise, & 11/ @kotagula

questions from eponineinthebarricade:

What would you do if you went to space?

Probably spend gawking at Earth from the space station for a bit before bonding with other astronauts/cosmonauts over our mutual love for space. I’d probably be a space liaison.

What is “love” to you? Reason and passion entwined.

What is your hobby? Writing. Editing some photos. Reading. Watching videos about film and script analyses.

A food one must taste before they die? There’s this noodle we call palabok in my country, and it’s really filling. It has shrimp, eggs, and some vegetables thrown in, and the sauce in it is just… ah-mazing. I love this food.

Your way of coping with stress? I sometimes sing all the stress out. Or sleep. I like sleeping. Sometimes, I write. Or exercise eskrima.

What do you think would happen if music was not invented ever? Life would go on, albeit a little less interestingly. We’d make certain sounds from objects and we’d use our voice for purely practical reasons, but always wonder why is there something missing. We’d wonder why is spending time on this earth always a little empty. Literature would be less potent, less inspiring, even if it maintains a certain beauty with how it’s written. Any song would just be mostly poetry read aloud. Political propaganda as well as the market would use more visuals. Films and anything on screen would lack the drama and vividness of our imagination. Basically, our life would remain the same, but we’d have more boring lives.

Sleeping all day or being productive the moment you wake up? I prefer sleeping all day, but reality often denies it, so by circumstance and by duty, I am inclined to chooose to be productive. It makes me feel like I have a purpose, anyway.

Coffee or tea? I like both, but tend to buy more coffee because tea is a tad bit pricier.

What is your favourite literature movement? Realist and transcentalist movements.

Your favourite author? I have a ton, but for this one, I’ll say Sylvia Plath (for fiction) and Nick Joaquin (for non-fiction).

A line from your favourite poem and why you chose that line? ‘The night wind revolves in the sky and sings.’ - Tonight, I Can Write the Saddest Lines, Pablo Neruda It’s one of the most visually appealing and symbolic lines ever. And I memorise this poem a lot, but I keep forgetting this line. It’s the most different one from the whole set, and it joggles my pattern of recollection. But I really like it a lot.

questions from kugirocks: 

Favorite T.V show? I don’t have one I particularly like, but for the moment I am invested in watching The Flash.

Favorite movie? For this one, I’ll say Trance (2013) and Inglorious Basterds.

Favorite book? For this one, I’ll say Jonathan Tepperman’s The Fix.

Dogs or cats? Both are adorable, but I’m not inclined to adopt either.

An actor/actress you wish to meet? Leonardo DiCaprio because of his advocacy for the environment. Or, hmm, Asia Argento. She’s vastly underrated, and I’d really like to say she did amazing as Éponine in the 2000/2001 French mini series of Les Mis.

Grab the closest book to you. Turn to page 11. Read the first line from that page. What is it? ‘The Atoan system four days later.’ - Star Wars: Darth Vader and the Lost Command, Issue #1 (2011) Written by: W. Haden Blackman; Atist: Rick Leonardi

Favorite sport? Eskrima/Arnis. Savate.

Favorite musical artist? Too many. But I’ll say Freddie Mercury for this one.

Color or no color? Colour.

Favorite season? Autumn.

Favorite musical? LES MISÉRABLES

questions from eponinexenjolras: 

Are you afraid to die? No.

Introvert or extrovert? I’m an ambivert.

Dream job? Consul general / Human Rights Commissioner / Writer

What would you do with 1 million dollars? Keep half in bank. The other, I’ll divide to pay for my family’s needs, while some shall go to a select chairty, and a bit for some business.

Imagine you’re a celebrity. Would you want to be married to another star or rather to someone ordinary? I don’t like sharing, but I’d learn to make sure I could make that someone ordinary feel happy, safe, and never doubtful of my relationship with them.

Which royal person would you want to be (past or present)? Rajah Soliman. Or Nefertiti.

Where do you want to travel? Everywhere.

In which era would you like to live? Every era has its harms, but if I could visit a particular era, I’d want to see pre-WW1 or pre-WW2..

Favorite hobby? Making art.

Have you ever done something illegal? Yup. But would I tell? No.

questions from bisexual-eponine (who tagged me thrice lol)

set 1:

favourite musical? LES MISÉRABLES

what is the worst thing that’s ever happened to you? A shit ton that I’m not ready to share, but I’ll settle to oversimplify it with traumatic childhood episodes and psychologically being manipulated by people I thought I could trust.

“Thinking Out Loud” or “Perfect”? I’m inclined to be partial to Perfect. I understand that TOL is sweet, but this one is just more poignant for me.

most embarrassing childhood memory? I had a fistfight with a guy playmate in front of the church when I was ten. I won. But I suffered quite the embarrassment.

have you ever been in a serious accident? Mild opening of the scalp because I was reckless once. Got 2-3 stitches. I can’t fall asleep unless it’s sideways, but I’m trying to sleep on my back more.

Bill Skarsgård: smash or pass? I didn’t know who this guy was, so when I searched who he acted as, I just can’t. I’ll pass.

do you think people can get too old for Halloween? Nah.

how often do you sin? Everyday………..

are pandas useless? (trying to prove a point to my friend philip) No. There is such a thing as Panda Diplomacy by China, who owns all the pandas in the world, so they get a lot of cash and ‘fans’ because they are adorable af.

are you flexible? To a certain degree.

if you wanted to get married, where would you do it? If. Well, there’s a beautiful place up north in my country. I’d pick that.

set 2:

what’s one headcanon you’ve always had for your otp? Okay, I have a lot, and some of my otps aren’t here, but here are some I’d like to share my thoughts on. Enjonine: They always don’t fall in love right away. It’s like the lowest priority they could ever have, and when they do, it’s one amazing collision. Anidala: They would have ruled the galaxy well. Anakin is a genius, and Padme is one feisty diplomat. They would have motivated more to know more about the balance of the Force, and ended slavery (gradually). Ugh. They could have had it all. Sifki: They brought out so much growth from each other. In ALL aspects. Seriously. Sif would be nearly invincible in wars with Loki’s help, but she would temper his… well, mischief. Dramione: Same thing with Sifki, but they would be more amazing role models, especially with being intellectual equals. They would show the younger generation what Sirius really meant about being people with a little bit of light and darkness within. Carl Jung’s Animus/Anima plays in a lot here.

did you ever have that one teacher that just hated your guts for seemingly no particular reason? My general psych prof. Ah well, the feeling is mutual.

on a scale of 1-10, how strict are/were your parents? A mild 8 on a daily basis because of how fucked up my country is, a strong 15 when anyone in my family fucks up.

what do you think will finally break the internet? The moment Harambe returns.

which fictional character would you most like to marry and why? Enjolras. He is reason and passion entwined. Certainly imperfect in his own ways, but I feel like I could bring out his empathy in a more grounded way while he would make sure to challenge me to be better without making me feel a lesser person. 

what’s the worst purchase you’ve ever made and why? Hmm. SOME BLACK SHOES WITH CRISS-CROSS BINDINGS. It does more damage for my feet.

which character did you hate at first but don’t anymore? Sansa Stark. I didn’t realise I had too much internalised misogyny until I analysed her character, and finally realised that one could be dainty yet deadly. She’s an amazing character.

which character did you like at first but don’t anymore? Dumbledore. Look, he’s great and all, but he had a lot of mistakes that usually go unnoticed because of his Wizengamot status. He compromised a lot of things.

what’s the craziest thing you’ve ever gotten away with? I’d rather not speak of it.

who’s the messiest person you know? That would be… me.

what quote or saying do people spout but is complete bullshit? ‘Someone may have it worse than you. Please try to understand whoever did this to you.’ Casse-toi. Who, then, would understand me? Must I deny my own pain to give way for others so they could feel less guilty? Or you could feel better? Fuck off.

set 3:

what do you consider to be the three best things about yourself? Uh… curiosity. Ingenuity. Feeling too much.

if you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be and why? Caring too much.

what’s the most beautiful place you’ve ever been to? The Venetian.

what do you think is the “right age” to get married? 30-35 years old.

opinions on the concept of marriage? It’s how state and the market exploits love.

what are three things you’d ask your pet if they could talk? - what do you really call yourself? - do you have a nickname for me? - what is really your favourite thing to do with me?

when should we get a great comet revival? 2 years from now. They need to re-organise, re-plan their marketing strategy without sacrificing their cast, and re-structure their management model.

do you have a poor relationship with your family? (i sure do) i love my family, and they love me too, but sometimes they can be a little insufferable.

favourite time of day? 3 am. 7 am. 3 pm. 12 mn.

favourite person (real or fictional, dead or alive)? my guy bff. we argue once in a while, but i’m so fond of him a lot. i literally relax more when i see him.

favourite movie quote? ' Let the past die. Kill it, if you have to. It's the only way to become what you were meant to be.' - Kylo Ren/Ben Solo Star Wars: The Last Jedi

[krxmarktuan]

GHOST! for a starter where my character is trying to convince yours that ghosts are/aren’t real.

Drabble (x) || starter

Whoever the fuck thought that it would be fun to invent horror movie night can rot in hell.

This was the thought in Mark’s mind as Mihyun demonstrated ROFL in real life as a reply to the former’s suggestion of her sleeping over, not wanting to be home alone after a marathon of Blaire witch project and the Insidious trilogy.

This was an hour ago, and now Mihyun still has that stupid grin on face as she insists that ghosts do exist. She was in the kitchen while Mark was draped on the sofa, shouting rebuttals.

“Mark, they do exist.”

“Don’t start with me.”

“Even he said that your flat is haunted.”

“IT’S NOT HAUNTED-“

Mark stopped mid sentence, bolting out of the sofa to run towards the kitchen, eyes wide at Mihyun. He can see the discomfort the other felt, as if her face mirrored his fear.

“Who is ‘he’? Who told you?” He asks.

“Your flat mate.”

Who would’ve thought that Mark would meet Halloween almost passing out from being spooked;

He lives alone.

[dweemeister]

Favorite horror movies (so far)

When it’s time for Halloweening, There is something you should know. People ask me for horror movies to see, So it is this list that I shall bestow.

As asked by @underblackwings, I’m assembling a list of some of my personal favorite horror movies that I have seen in their entirety. It should be noted that this is a blog concentrating on older films, so there are typically older horror movies. Older horror (pre-Exorcist) is not necessarily scary to modern audiences anymore, but what they’ve going for them is atmosphere and tone. This list concentrates on what I consider “pure” horror movies - so no comedy-horror movies like Get Out (2017) or The Cabin in the Woods (2012)... neither would have made this list anyways.

The beginning of the list is dominated by Universal Studios - which was considered a major studio in the 1920s/30s, but not as “prestigious” as, say, MGM, Warner Bros., Paramount, or 20th Century Fox (Universal along with Columbia and RKO were “mini-majors”... Disney released its films through RKO for decades). Universal made its reputation on horror movies during its infancy.

So without further ado, in chronological order, here are some personal favorite horror movies...

The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari (1920, Germany)

A silent film from the German expressionist movement (which emphasized extremely angular sets and a high contrast between lights and shadows). Hypnotist Dr. Caligari (Werner Krauss) uses a somnambulist/sleepwalker (Conrad Veidt) for illicit purposes. Often credited with the first twist ending in movies - not sure if that’s true, but it’s damn effective.

The Phantom of the Opera (1925)

A lot of people are familiar with the musical treatment of Phantom. It’s the same plot here, with the Phantom dwelling down in the sewers underneath the opera house and falling madly in love with Christine Daae. But the definitive movie version is the 1925 silent film starring Lon Chaney, Sr. I don’t want to spoil his appearance. Includes a very early use of Technicolor - used to incredible effect in the masquerade sequence. The set for the Palais Garnier - the operahouse - seen here stood standing at Universal Studios’ backlot for decades. This Phantom is in the public domain (Universal failed to renew copyright in the 1950s), and can be seen here.

That said, the most notable films in the Universal Monsters franchise (your mileage may vary): The Hunchback of Notre Dame (1923), The Phantom of the Opera (1925), The Man Who Laughs (1928; haven’t seen it but heard good things), Dracula (1931), Frankenstein (1931), The Mummy (1932), The Invisible Man (1933), Bride of Frankenstein (1935), The Wolf Man (1941). But my personal favorite is...

Dracula (1931)

I just wrote on this. Yes, the Frankenstein series - ESPECIALLY Bride of Frankenstein (1935; also recommended but only after you’ve seen 1931′s Frankenstein) - is the backbone of the franchise and I think Bride is one of the greatest horror movies ever. But Dracula is the most atmospheric for me, and Lugosi is so fucking good as the titular vampire. Just be warned that there is almost no music in this Dracula because it was an early post-silent film, and producers thought that in-movie music would confuse audiences unless there was a visible source for the music - so there’s a lot of grainy silence for stretches in the movie. Dwight Frye plays Dracula’s assistant, and has one of the most unsettling laughs of all time.

A Spanish-language Drácula was made at the same time by Universal. It uses the same sets and the same screenplay, but was filmed at night after the English-language production was completed for the day. I’ve never seen the Spanish-language version, but I’m told - by a minority - it is the better movie because they were able to see the rough cuts of the English production before beginning every night, and were able to improve on their performance.

Island of Lost Souls (1932)

Best to go into this unspoiled. It’s based on the H.G. Wells novel of the same name. Charles Laughton plays a scientist conducting ungodly experiments on animals on his private island. Maybe not scary - for reasons I said earlier about older horror movies - but creepy as hell with that disturbing ending. 

Diabolique (1955, France)

A boarding school teacher and her husband’s mistress conspire to kill a man, who is the headmaster of this boarding school. The headmaster is tyrannical, abusive to everyone - the children and the two women in his life. Things go wrong, oh so very wrong.

The Fly (1958)

This is the original film to the 1986 remake directed by David Cronenberg and starring Jeff Goldblum, which basically launched Goldblum’s career. Here, a scientist has invented a teleportation device. But, of course, there’s an accident involving a fly and, well... let’s just say the ending will either go two ways for you: it will either be the funniest thing you have ever seen or the creepiest. There’s no in-between, and I found it close to the latter instead. If you liked this, watch Return of the Fly (1959) - not as good, but oh my god still creepy. Both films include Vincent Price (most famous among youngsters nowadays as the narrator in Michael Jackson’s “Thriller” and the elderly inventor in Edward Scissorhands in his final film role, but had a long history in 1950s-60s low-budget horror) which takes us to.........

House on Haunted Hill (1959)

Vincent Price is a millionaire and is offering $10,000 to whoever survives the night locked in his spooky house. I mean, this is a tired trope by this point, but it essentially originates here. And it’s probably the best incarnation of that trope, too. Price is the serio-comic sort - with that faux-English accent who enjoys frightening the audience any time, any day.

The Tingler (1959)

Vincent Price again! It is perhaps the stupidest movie I have put on this list, as Price plays a pathologist who discovers a parasitic creature that grows on the base of the human spine whenever the human subject is terrified. The Tingler itself is pitiful in appearance, I have to admit. And here’s Price’s genius: he never believes the horror - no matter how stupid, how preposterous, how unlikely - is beneath him. He treats it with all seriousness, but never to excessive self-importance. That’s why I love The Tingler!

The Innocents (1961)

Do you remember “O Willy Waly” from last year’s Movie Odyssey Award for Best Original Song? That was from The Innocents - where a governess (Deborah Kerr) must care for two young children within the haunting confines of a Victorian mansion. She believes that the two children and the mansion itself are haunted... or is she just imagining these ghosts? It remains up to audience interpretation. Includes a controversial ending - it shocked audiences then, and is still controversial now.

Kwaidan (1964, Japan)

A collection of four unrelated Japanese folk tales; “Kaidan” literally means “strange stories”. This one is on the longer side, at about three hours. The middle two stories are my favorites - “The Woman of the Snow” and “Hoichi the Earless”. Do a little preparatory reading on this movie before starting because of some very distinctively Japanese aspects.

Hausu (1977, Japan)

I lied. There is one comedy horror on this list. That is Hausu, also known as House. Again, it’s best to go unspoiled as possible. But it’s about a schoolgirl and her six friends going over to her aunt’s country house for a vacation. All hell breaks loose in what (and I truly mean this) is the weirdest movie I have ever seen. Great soundtrack, though!

Poltergeist (1982)

I really don’t have to intorduce this one to people, thanks to a recent remake and how popular it is. But basically this idealistic ‘80s Southern Californian realize their home is haunted by ghosts. Their youngest daughter is taken by those ghosts, and... oh boy.

I think that covers it. These are all essential viewing, if you ask me. If there are any questions or comments, reply to this post, send me a pm, anything. I hope you see at least one of these movies before Halloween rolls around. Happy viewing! :)