#Fuck I always knew I was annoying !
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I genuinely can't get over how Oz killed Vic. Like...first of all, he strangles him, which is an odd choice when you consider that Oz usually kills people by gunshot. Quick and easy. But the thing with Oz is that he likes having power. You see it when he kills Sal. He physically wants to be the one to take him out. He wants to hold that over him. He doesn't kill Sofia. Despite it being the logical thing to do; he sends her back to her worst nightmare to contain and break her. He keeps his mother locked up in a room. Oz likes that power. For all intents and purposes, that is an intimate way to kill someone. To physically hold them down and feel their breathing stop is showing a kind of obsession that is just so in character for Oz when you think of just how much of a threat he sees Vic to be.
And then he does what I think can be considered one of the actions that cement him as heartless in the show. He takes Vic's wallet, and he just...takes all of his money. That is not something you do to someone you supposedly consider family. He kills this kid and then just robs him blind. And I know it's not the worst thing that Oz does in this show - far from it. But all of Oz's actions can be explained when you look at it through the lens of his goal. The people that he kills are either against him or so insignificant to him that it doesn't matter. You can't name half the people Oz kills, and the ones you can are people who have been set up to directly oppose Oz. But Vic isn't. Vic is this kid who has followed him and respects him. Even just killing him, I can sort of see as something the Oz who had some sort of humanity in him would do. But I just can't rationalise taking that money. Oz is rich. What was the need to take this money that is at most 1 grand or just over? There is no explanation, no need. Just instinct to take, and pure greed.
And that pretty much solidifies Oz as a character for me.
#like i watched this show and i knew oz wasnt a good character#and i did kind of suspect he would kill vic#but fuck i didnt expect it to be like that#the penguin#the penguin 2024#penguin 2024#penguin dc#oz cobb#victor aguilar#shit talker talks#felt like i needed to say that i cant really rationalise oz killing his brothers#like obviously thats probably one of the worst things he does#but i can see why oz as a character would see it as an appropriate response#i always try to find reasons why a character does a bad thing and i can almost always see why oz does the things that he does#but that small little action just annoys me because i cant find any solid reason why he would do it other than greed
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look i get that the shit simone biles' husband said a while back was cringe but it's getting pretty old to see comments about him under every single video of her. personally i don't think it's very feminist to constantly bring up an embarrassing thing a woman's husband said months ago and she is clearly not interested in discussing every time she accomplishes something
#i do not give a shit about that man. i am just Tired of seeing a video of her accomplishing something and the too comment always being#some shit about how much more famous and accomplished than her husband she is. shut the fuck up we already knew that#bringing up her husband every time she accomplishes something is not celebrating her accomplishments#you're actually just continuing to center a man when discussing her accomplishments it's gross and annoying
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Since you’re really getting into the world of Jewish music, have you heard of chilik frank ? He’s a chossid who does ashkenaz/Klezmer. My absolute fav song from him is a song called ‘Rabi meir omer’ !
Ughh one thing I love about kletzmer is the emphasis on clarinet so many songs have. It makes me want to pick mine back up and play this by ear...
As well, this is how it feels to play clarinet:
#ask#jumblr#jewish music#when i was first learning clarinet in school we all had a music book and i always gravitated toward playing the jewish or kletzmer-ish song#i didn't know it was kletzmer or jewish but i knew i absolutely LOVED playing that style of music#i have ALWAYS adored how that music style has sounded. deep in my heart i knew i belonged in a kletzmer band#anon thank you <3#i SERIOUSLY need to get my claronet out but i don't know how i'd explain to my family why i'd be playing obviously 'foreign' music#i haven't picked up my clarinet in years........#do reeds expire ....#i love learning songs by playing them by ear. i learned a lot of songs through this and even made claronet parts to songs that don't have i#i'd walk around during marching band practice with my earbud in playing parts over and over. i bet it was annoying to my peers LMAO#my toxic trait was listening to music while marching and playing music (not during comps obviously just during band camp)#it was so bad i listened to one song eight hours a day (more like ten) every day for two weeks#even AFTER band camp i would replay it on my walk to my ex's house. and it was a twenth minute walk or so. it was BAD.#UMMM. apparently reeds DO expire. funny. some of my reeds i used for half a year or more#and these websites are saying to replace them biweekly? no way. no fucking way#i don't care. i'll let my reeds grow a culture of their own if they play well (slight hyperbole)#vandorens are GREAT but they're pricy. i am NOT shelling out my life savings for three reeds
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The Creditor: hey you're Furnace's guardian, right?
Hiram: what.
The Creditor: I need a bride
Hiram:
#blinking guy dot gif#furnace and hiram have the most neutral relationship he's a little annoying but he's always been helpful they're just working together#but now he's ready to adopt her to back her up against the creditor#you know you fucked up if hiram “red flags” hargrave tells you to stop pursuing your marriage fantasies#i knew about the storyline but I wasn't expecting this to happen so suddenly#like there's no buildup it just happens#fallen london#hiram hargrave
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rewatching LoK, i'm being reminded how much I dislike the.... the brothers, mako and bolin, yanno? they're such underwhelming characters on basically every level. it'd almost be impressive if they weren't in every episode and didn't annoy me so much ugh
#bean talking into the void#also this show in general is very flawed lol#cool things about it but the choice to structure it more like a#prestige tv show#as in each season follows One Story#is... i wouldn't say it was a bad choice but i feel like you can see the growing pains#switching over from the episodic structure of ATLA#s1 while flawed is solid#it knows what it's trying to do even if it doesn't always stick the landing#season two feels like a season-long filler episode LMFAO#which is hilarious because a lot of world-building stuff happens#but tonally it's all over the place#serious political plots interspersed with the B Plot following Tenzin and his family#on vacation???#so fucking random#but anyway back to roasting the brothers#i find bolin just annoying in general his brand of comedy totally doesn't work for me#but at least he has like#a personality that's consistent#mako is sooooooo blah#the writers have no idea what to do with him and he comes across as having a strikingly boring personality#with no defining traits other than being wishy washy (and a boot licker)#it FEELS like he was meant to remind viewers of Zuko#at least in appearance if nothing else#another broody pretty boy to latch onto#but he has literally nothing interesting to actually get invested in#sure he's got his tragic backstory and he's the 'older brother who took care of his younger brother after their parents died' boo hoo#but that's all just exposition and it's barely shown in a way that feels illustrative or emotional in any way that matters#(other than him comforting bolin in s1 after he KISSES THE GIRL HE KNEW BOLIN HAD A CRUSH ON lmfaoooooo)#(what a good big brother lmfao)
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my body alert me to having an entirely full bladder with more than 30s warning challenge (impossible)
#it! is! so! annoying! just! be! normal! *screams*#genuinely i did piss myself as a kid a LOT until i was like. 10. no lie.#bc i would not know - at all! no inclination whatsoever! if i went anyway nothing would come out! - i needed to pee#until we hit 'you are going to piss yourself immediately'#just 0 to 100 in 0.35 seconds#and i did not have the control or muscle strength or whatever to not just. piss myself if i wasnt in immediate reach of a bathroom#i went though two. years. of 'bladder retraining' therapy#which is MEANT to retune you into signals or whatever so you know you need to pee with a fucking resonable amount of warning#spoiler: it did not do this#it did not improve the signalling at all whatsoever#what it DID do was develop the necessary strength and control to become doubled over with sudden OH GOD RIGHT NOW pee pain#BUT be able to hold it off for 5-10 min if necessary#which to the adults around me was a success bc it looked like i knew how to pee properly now#i don't. i just know how to NOT pee MYSELF and make it embarrassing. difference.#look man i'm 33 presumably there will literally never be a point in my life where i will know 'oh i kinda need to pee' an hour before#i will always be playing Highway To The Danger Zone every day forever#i just live like this#CHRIST it's so FUCKING annoying though#i mean this applies to all functions i have no internal signalling for anything until it is Super Right Now Urgent#my body notify me of anything at all ever challenge (impossible)#god if this aint the most annoying one though
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ahhhhhhhh guess who made the mistake of getting a haircut
#i was planning on growing it out for real i swear#but then the back of my hair got to that length (like it always does) where it starts touching the back of my neck wrong and i cant stand it#so i figured I'd juuuuuust get a trim maybe only the back so it wouldn't keep bugging me#and it started off pretty good too she was doing well with everything and i liked the way it looked#then she asked me a question with two options. and i answered the question. and she repeated my answer. good enough right?#well i think she maaaay have forgotten my answer in the span of like 2 seconds bc she started cutting SUPER short suddenly#and now my perm is completely gone lol#i think she's used to going a bit shorter so it looks good in like a week when it's grown out a bit#and you don't have to go back for a haircut every 2 weeks#but like. i would rather not hate my reflection (more than usual) for a week or two while it grows out yknow#eurghhhh it's not that bad tbh ive had haircuts where i wanted to kill myself and this is just 'hmm maybe i should wear a hat for a week'#but still. very annoying. and especially so bc i was actually feeling optimistic with where we were going at the start#anyway there's this weird phenomenon that keeps happening where I accidentally get my hair cut too short#then i decide this is going to be the time i finally grow my hair out for real#and after a while the back reaches that length where it starts bothering me again#and ill get a haircut juuust for a trim#then i somehow end up with a bowlcut#it's an emo bowlcut to be clear. so im not super hung up about it bc i still love that haircut for reasons i cannot comprehend#but everybody else seems to go 'ew a bowlcut why' except for the alt queers who go 'omg gender'#which i consider to be one of the biggest compliments i could ever get. and have gotten. seriously that moment will never leave my mind#like having someone that you consider Gender to look at you and say *you're* very gender? my crops have been watered my cattle have been fed#etc etc. anyway this currently has the shape of a bowl cut but it's too short esp on top#so im back in my 'okay im gonna grow it our FOR REAL this time' phase again. as it goes. like fucking sisyphus.#anyway. im gonna be tearing it up in the pit at origami angel tomorrow so if anybody's also going feel free to join me there#just gotta let off some steam. goddammit i knew i should have gone the queer route and just done it myself. in my defense i still had a perm#and i didn't trust myself to cut curly hair. turns out i shouldn't have trusted the barber either bc she just held it straight out#and chopped right across. and soon the curls were gone and everything was straight. ...that sounds like a metaphor for conversion therapy#'yeah just head into that place by the time you leave you'll be straight'#anyway. sorry for the waterfall of tags if ur still here kudos to you and may you have a wonderful day#mine
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Me: Oh boy, I can't wait to be a barista! Those guys are queer and quirky and I'm gonna fit right in! My coworkers, the most aggressively normal people I've ever met, IMMEDIATELY deciding they dislike me because I'm Too Much: lol
#jaytp#chat when am i gonna get a fucking break#yes im loud#yes i talk a lot#yes im annoying#none of those are crimes!!!!!!!!#would it be so hard to pretend to like me????#(for the record this isnt like. my imagination. i asked a coworker i get along with and he TOLD ME lmao)#history repeats itself etc#im once again the loser in high school always being asked to make myself smaller and quieter and more normal#babes i am nearly 31!!!! even if i KNEW HOW to do that. i simply will not.#and i do not need to be liked! i do not care if someone dislikes me!#but if im working at this place full fucking time#surrounded by these people for hours??????#id like to be able to have a conversation with them!#unfortunately. they do not want that.#i cant wait for a month to go by and for someone to ask me why im so quiet#YOU MADE ME BABE#im not quiet i simply stopped trying to have a conversation with you#love having the kind of personality half the people i interact with immediately are repulsed by
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Me like every five seconds during the Gravity Falls rewatch: This is something the fandom was REALLY annoying about-
#Hayley Speaks#Yeah I'm starting to realize something I always knew#And it's that the Gravity Falls fandom is FUCKING ANNOYING and doesn't know what it's talking about half the time#Again; we've known this but MAN. MAN!!!!#If I'd been playing a drinking game where I took a shot every time that happened; I would've been SO DRUNK#Happened a LOT with Mabel. Little bit with Bill. Little bit with Ford.#Obviously my priorities lied with Mabel but you know
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tbh that last ask reminded me...
#i finished arcane's new season not last night but the night before#and i don't really do “fandom” shit#but yesterday i was just watching some videos and looking at art and stuff#and i was kinda surprised that people interpreted jayce and viktor as being gay?#i personally always interpreted them as just being friends?#just reminds me that men cannot show any kind of intimacy or affection without being presumed gay#and i'm not saying jayce and viktor aren't gay -- i have no idea what the canon says#i'm just speaking more generally#i just remember moments in my life when i wanted to show affection to my bros#and i didn't or i had to wait until no one was around#because i knew we'd be called gay and like i don't give a shit but i wouldn't want to put my friend in that position#like in high school on the football team#one time my qb wasn't playing his best and we lost a big game and he felt a lot of guilt#the whole team tried to comfort him -- placed their hands on his shoulders#told him it was okay#but once everyone was out of the locker room i approached him#because i was a lineman right? he's my boy. i protect him every day.#and he was just one of my best friends at the time#and like i knelt beside him and put my forehead to his#told him reassuring shit and that i love him and everything#and i just know for a fact that if any of these tumblr girls saw that shit they'd assume we were gay#and it's lowkey annoying as fuck#lmao#like bros go off to war and die for their friends all the time#bros have been doing that since the dawn of history#it doesn't necessarily imply romantic/sexual feelings#you can have strong passionate love for people of the same sex without it being romantic/sexual
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My roommate and I had a conversation last night and I keep rotating it in my brain and I Don’t Like It
#blue chatter#they called me a resilient person. and no the fuck I am not. I break down so easily over everything and my body is falling apart on me.#I scream in terror when someone knocks on the door too hard the fuck you mean I’m good at handling adversity#I pointed out that I freak out whenever my grade gets low even a little bit#and they were just sitting there like ‘yeah. and then you pick yourself up again and you do the work.’#and no? not always? oftentimes I give up and don’t try hard enough to fix it and let points go that I could have earned#I barely ever go for extra credit opportunities and I’ve never gone to office hours of my own free will#I can’t even think about talking to a professor about a bad grade without wanting to cry? hello?#but they were insistent that even with those things I am still managing Incredibly Well in class given the circumstances. which made me#uncomfortable. like. I don’t think of myself as resilient At All and I feel a bit like I’m lying or tricking them.#I start shaking like a chihuahua when people are upset and I’m In The Vicinity. even when they’re clearly not upset with me.#I really struggle to advocate for myself ever and even when I do I usually feel guilty and walk it back partway so I don’t cause a fight#and I always get way too emotional for the situation when someone has anything they’re upset with me for. which isn’t fair to them bc I need#to be able to take constructive criticism without taking it as a personal attack on me.#like what the fuck do you mean *resilient*. I can’t even handle seeing a bug flying near my face or getting a B in a class. or being told#that I did something wrong. I’m actually significantly worse at handling adversity than I used to be. high school me was a resilientish kid.#and it’s not like I was ever *good* at handling my emotions. even when it was essential for my safety. I’ve always cried way too easily#even when it actively made the situation I was in Much Worse. even when I knew better.#I would get angry and scared and sad and start shaking and crying and even screaming at my parents when they were mad at me even though#I knew that it would always make my life much worse. and extend an already beleaguered argument.#I brought this up with my therapist and she was like ‘well. anybody would have done that if they were treated like you were’.#which. okay. maybe so. I still feel like I should have been able to handle it and just shut up and move on and not make it worse.#but I am aware that this is probably a cognitive distortion. even so. that definitely doesn’t make me resilient.#I just. I feel gross being called resilient. I’m not. I’m weak and easily scared and unable to handle even small amounts of adversity.#the fuck is my roommate even *seeing*.#the annoying part is that they’re generally an insightful person about other people and I know logically that they’re probably right#which is why I’m not going to complain any more about this to their face bc I should just drop it and not make it a Thing#I talk too much about myself and my problems anyway. not every conversation has to be about my brain worms.#but the discomfort is Distinct and Unpleasant. and now I’m just having to sit with it. and Feel Uncomfortable. and try to accept what was#definitely intended as a compliment. I know it’s draining to talk to someone who doesn’t accept any of the kind things you say about them.
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#rant#i think one of the most annoying things about being fat is having to be so conscious of how often you say you wanna be skinny#like oop don't wanna be annoying to the skinny people in my life#oh don't wanna piss off the people who are bigger than me in my life too#also it's not that easy to get skinny when you're poor and busy#i can't afford to buy another sports bra in my size because I'm a 32 M#the last one i bought didn't fit#any now my sister who started ozempic is comparing bodies with me as if she hasn't been fatter than me our entire lives#and I've always made sure never to talk about my body or food intake around her because i knew she waa jealous#i remained completely body neutral#and now this bitch is comoaring body composition bitch you're on ozempic and unemployed shut the fuck up#i can't imagine hiw kuch worsw it is for people who are bigger than me
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ok im a really chill and normal person and i get over things and am well adjusted but take a walk with me here. just give me my time to complain when im not in the absolute fucking trenches. and yes i believe i suffered more than those in trench warfare. it was literally a lesbian situationship with a bistraight girl come on. just. magenta choppy shag with the roots coming in. camo cargo pants black t shirt with red lettering and striped long sleeve (sign someone likes music. confirmed). lip ring big black stud earrings and nails. red docs. i think lesbians should be allowed to kill one dyke baiter in their lifetime idc
#and now we're gonna get into some quiet parts and youre just gonna let me have this#i. am so sick. first of all it was kinda funny how people ik ended up sorta surrounding her. felt good. but like we've shared a space#together since everything. i can like be in her presence it's seriously fine. that said. i do sometimes miss her#i say this after going through the really hating her guts period bc of her evil evil evil ways. and feeling like she's lame as hell bc she#s. but i mean it's me talking i have my problems too. i Hate the way we always so naturally act in sync. and i hate that we've both picked#each others' brains for hours so it's like. i knew you once and now we can't even look each other in the eye and that just really sucks#and i feel like. not that i strictly believe in these things. but we were sort of twin flames. i largely suffered for like. basically#falling in love w her. and i know i didn't leave as much of a mark. but i still hope it sucked a little for her#and i'll admit i think it'd be some sort of miracle if we could ever talk civilly. unfortunately we work in two ways#literally behaving in Ways and borderline fucking or not speaking. so. here we are#and i already humiliatingly tried to extend an olive branch this summer so im not gonna be fucking stupid. yk#but GOD how annoying. i did talk to situationship today and we were relatively normal so at least that's not deathly awkward#it's still. definitely um. stiff. but not terrible#i need to get to the club. pretend theres a cig emoji im on desktop rn#sorry for this.#film girl saga
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Finished White Collar season one
And that's one hell of a cliffhanger
#I'd seen general spoilers so I mostly knew what was gonna happen with the plane#but like. yikes man.#that's rough#I'd feel bad for Neal but I'm also mostly certain Kate isn't dead#(and I never liked her much. she's not written super well or made at all interesting beyond Neal's crush)#forgot how much season cliffhangers annoy me#leverage got me into that mindset lol#of always ending a season in a good way bc you never know if a show will be canaceled#but I know I've got 5 more seasons baybee#also WOW Neal not saying goodbye to Peter bc he could change his mind#fucking gets me dude#white collar#m speaks#m watches white collar
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I think I have aphantasia
#which is fuxking hilarious considering i knew what it was for like 4 years now because i know wilbur has it#but just. never considered it before my brother had his moment of stupid annoying questions and asked if i can imagine an apple in mt head#and i really couldn't#this is also fucking hilarious because when drawing fanart for fanfiction im always like#sorry if i got anything wrong >.< i got a trouble with getting something in text into a visual#AND NOT ONCE WHILE WRITIBG THIS IB THE TAGS DID I THINK THERE WAS A REASON FOR THIS#im. yea#shitpost
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you ever have one of those cases where you know your childhood wasn't exactly normal but then you take a look at one aspect of your life that you thought was just a quirky lil detail and realize maybe that was a bit more not-normal than you previously thought
#i spent my entire school years cooped up in my room pretending to study when i wasn't at school#no free time ever bc if there's free time then there's always something more important you could be doing instead of taking a break#just always trying to look like i was studying whenever anybody entered my room and i wasn't sleeping#maybe that fucked me up a bit bc now i never feel like I'm allowed to have any free time#or maybe that's just the adhd who knows#anyway that's also why i never went outside bc it never even occured to me that i could even ask for permission to go outside#or even just hang out with friends after school. fuuuuuuuuck wait is that why ppl have been thinking im weird for heading straight home#after school everyday instead of hanging out to chat and hang out even though i have nothing else to do#anyway what i was going for before that lil realization was that idk how to answer when ppl ask me about video games#bc you have to play those on your phone or computer and you have to pay for them too and of course my parents weren't paying for that#and it's not like i could've just got them myself bc i never had an allowance bc they expected me to ask them if there was anything i needed#but ppl aren't really expecting you to dive into how weird your life/parents were when they ask you about video games#so idk. maybe i should really just get a therapist so i can figure out what's normal and what isn't lol#anyway. i keep having these little realizations recently and idk why. i thought i already knew everything abt my own life#guess im just recontextualizing things based on new info or whatever#it's getting pretty annoying having new epiphanies abt my life when im just tryna get through school tho :/#mine#random#vent
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