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appalamutte · 2 years ago

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you’re sixteen-years-old, moseying through your local bookstore when you come across it.

you’re not usually into nonfiction, especially not memoirs, but the man on the cover is familiar. laughing over his shoulder with his eyes closed, relaxed in a turquoise button-up and jeans, standing with his back to the camera at a counter cluttered with leafy vegetables and mixing bowls.

from seeds to supper, the title reads, and his name is eric bittle-zimmermann.

you deliberate for a bit, picking it up and reading the blurb, the reviews printed on the back sleeve, the first page. the very first words of the book are hey, y’all! and your friend walks over at that point, and they see him and say—“oh, i used to watch some of his videos.”

so you buy it, because your friend said you should, and later that night you’re already deep into the stories of peach cobbler recipes and learning how to differentiate between living and surviving when they send you the link to the guy’s old youtube channel. it hasn’t been active for a few years, but that doesn’t matter because oh my god are there so many videos. years of videos, almost a decade’s worth, starting all the way back in the early 2010s and you get sucked into them all, laughing at the funny ones and tearing up at the emotional ones, watching as the guy slowly grows up from high school to college and beyond.

you switch between reading the memoir and watching the videos over the next few weeks. you see his video on introducing his boyfriend and you read the chapter on maple-crusted apple pie and how learning to love is a lot like learning to lattice a pie, slow and patient and sometimes messy.

you see his cooking challenge video featuring all of his friends from college and you read the chapter on homemade bagel bites and how family doesn’t have to be a four-course meal you’ve had reservations for all your life. sometimes, family is just frozen bagel bites and sriracha sauce crowded around an uneven table.

you see his two-part wedding vlog posted in 2019, nearly 10 years ago, and you read his chapter on red velvet cake and how the brain can get confused, something to do with all the nerve endings getting tangled up, because when love reaches the same heights fear does, you end up fainting into your then-boyfriend’s arms.

then, you see his final video on the channel, a farewell to his subscribers and a glimpse as to what’s next. it’s short and simple, just his husband and him sitting on a couch together, a toddler between them. and you read the last chapter of the book on chicken tenders and how a seed in the garden never knows it’ll grow into a supper worth loving. it just knows it’ll grow into something, and that the growing takes time.

(a few years later, when you’re twenty and in college, you’re downtown with some friends and come across it. you still aren’t into nonfiction that much, but that one memoir always stuck with you, sitting on your shelf back in your dorm. and this one, with the guy’s back to the camera, tall and steadfast, standing in the middle of an ice rink, an emboldened number one across the back of his jersey. the name is familiar.

melting ice, the title reads, and his name is jack bittle-zimmermann.

you pick it up.)

#omgcp #omgcheckplease #zimbits #my writing #yeah i like to think they’d have matching memoirs #bitty’s is released a year after he ends his youtube channel and right before he gets picked up by the food network #and jack’s is released a year after he retires

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mindyco · 10 days ago

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ARC 1: 11

Review

For a moment, she just stood there, letting everything sink in. Then, unable to contain her giddiness, she laughed—a soft, light sound that echoed in the empty bakery. She threw both hands into the air in a small victory cheer. "He said yes!" she whispered excitedly to herself, feeling like a love-sick fool.

▼▼▼▼

The early morning light streamed through the bakery windows, golden and soft against the worn countertops. Y/N nudged the door open with her foot, three heavy grocery bags threatening to slip from her grasp. Her arms burned from the strain, and when the edge of a carton dug into her forearm, a sharp jolt of pain made her flinch.

She froze.

The ache wasn't just from the weight of the bags. Her bruises throbbed from where she had fallen, the skin tender from being dragged. The sharp pain in her scalp flared again, reminding her of the rough pull when they had grabbed her by the hair.

"Huff...."

She set the bags down with a heavy exhale, flexing her fingers to stop their trembling. Her gaze drifted to her arm, and before she could stop herself, she gently tugged the fabric back just enough to see.

The bruises had darkened overnight, blooming in angry shades of purple and green. Her breath caught as her other hand rose instinctively to cover her ear. It was almost as if she could still hear his voice—low, mocking, too close.

A shiver crawled up her spine. She shook her head quickly, but the disgusting feeling wouldn't fade.

Damn it...

Her throat tightened as her mind replayed to the night before. She had frozen, helpless, her heart pounding so loudly it drowned out everything else. The memory made her stomach twist.

What would he have done? How much further would it have gone? The thought made her chest tighten and her breath hitch.

What if...

Leo wasn't there...?

Her hands trembled as she tugged her sleeve down to cover the bruises. She didn't need to think about this. Not now.

"It's over," she murmured to herself, forcing the words to sound steady even as her chest felt tight. Her body told a different story, but she ignored it.

Her palms rose to her cheeks, and she smacked them lightly, the sting jolting her from the spiraling thoughts.

"Pull it together," she muttered firmly, shaking her head and rolling her shoulders as if she could physically shrug off the lingering fear. A practiced smile stretched across her face, though it didn't quite reach her eyes.

With a deep breath, she grabbed the bags and began unpacking them.

"You're fine. You're fine. You've got dinner to make," she told herself, her voice growing steadier as the kitchen filled with motion. "You owe Leo a feast."

The light from the window seemed to grow a little warmer, casting the space in a glow that, for the moment, made everything feel just a little less broken.

This place was far from ideal—most of the appliances were wrecked, the tables and chairs broken—but it was all she had, and more importantly, it was the only place Leonardo would know to meet her.

The faint chill of the room made her shiver, but she shook it off, grabbing the apron from her large black bag and tying it securely around her waist. With a deep breath, she got to work.

As she worked, the tension in her shoulders slowly eased. The clinking of jars, the chopping of vegetables, and the warmth of the oven wrapped around her like a blanket, pushing the memory further into the corners of her mind.

Hours passed unnoticed, the day slipping away as she focused entirely on her task. When she finally glanced at the clock, her eyes widened in surprise. The sun was already dipping toward the horizon, its golden light casting long shadows across the floor.

She looked around the kitchen and let out a small, incredulous sigh. "I really cooked all this?" The countertops were practically overflowing with dishes.

It was a habit of hers—cooking too much when her nerves took over. Still, it was better than letting her thoughts wander to places she didn't want to go.

With the food nearly finished, she turned her attention to the dining area—or what could pass for one. There wasn't much to work with: no proper table, no chairs. Just a battered wooden crate she'd found tucked away in a corner.

It would have to do.

After draping a clean white cloth over the makeshift table, she smoothed out the wrinkles. She carefully arranged the mismatched plates, covering them with lids to keep the food warm. Finally, she pulled a small vase with a fake flower from her bag and placed it in the center.

Stepping back, she admired her work—but her face turned bright red as realization struck.

Wait...

⁄(⁄ ⁄•⁄-⁄•⁄ ⁄)⁄

It looked...

too romantic...

Flustered, she snatched the vase back and stuffed it into her bag, muttering, "Nope, nope, nope." She hurriedly smoothed the tablecloth again, pretending the flower had never existed. But as she stepped back again, the nerves set in.

Her heart raced as she glanced toward the kitchen, imagining Leonardo stepping through the back door. Why was she so nervous? Her palms felt sweaty, and she wiped them on her apron, pacing back and forth across the room.

She tried to sit at the table, hoping to appear calm and natural, but her mind raced with doubts.

...What if he doesn't come?

Standing up abruptly, she moved around the bakery, pretending to busy herself with random things, though her movements were awkward. She glanced at the back door, the same door he'd walked through the night before.

The memory of him stepping inside, tall and calm, sent another wave of nerves through her body.

Just as she was about to return to pacing, the back door creaked open. Her heart leapt into her throat.

"Y/N?" Leonardo's voice, calm and steady, broke the silence.

Without thinking, she rushed to the kitchen, peering through the doorway. There he was, framed by the dim light of the alley, his silhouette familiar yet striking. His blue mask stood out against the shadows, and the cool air that followed him inside made her shiver.

"You're here!" she blurted, a wide smile breaking across her face. She didn't even realize how enthusiastic her greeting sounded. His posture stiffened.

Leonardo hesitated, clearly caught off guard by her warm greeting. He wasn't used to such eager welcomes, and for a moment, he simply stared, unsure how to respond. "I told you I would," he said finally, stepping inside and closing the door behind him with deliberate care.

She grabbed his hand without thinking, her small fingers barely wrapping around his as she tugged him toward the main area. "Come on! I made us dinner. I hope you're hungry."

He allowed himself to be led, his gaze drifting to her hand clasping his before flicking back to her face. She practically radiated energy, and he couldn't help but feel a small smile tug at his lips.

When they reached the makeshift table, he paused, taking in the setup. The plates were neatly arranged, the tablecloth clean despite the rest of the bakery's run-down appearance. A soft blanket had been laid beneath the crate to make kneeling on the wooden floor more comfortable.

"What's all this?" he asked, his tone quieter than usual.

"Oh! Um..." Y/N fidgeted with the edge of her apron, laughing nervously. "I may have... gone a bit overboard. Just a tiny bit." She gestured toward the dishes rapid-fire, her words tumbling out in an anxious rush. "That's chicken—special batter, super secret recipe—and asparagus with garlic and lemon because, you know, vegetables. Gotta stay healthy. Oh! And that's some soup, rice, and—"

Leonardo sat on his knees in front of the makeshift table, listening patiently as she listed off each dish. The corner of his mouth twitched upward as she rambled on and on.

I'm impressed," he said finally, his calm voice cutting through her string of words like a gentle breeze. "This looks... amazing."

Her cheeks flushed as she laughed, scratching the back of her neck. "I-it's nothing, really. Just a little thank you—well, for everything."

His gaze softened at her words. Without responding, he picked up the small utensils she'd set out, their size almost comical in his hands. His movements were slow and deliberate, careful not to bend or break anything. The first bite was cautious, but his expression shifted slightly the more he chewed.

His forehead lifted slightly, his expression softening as he chewed. "It's delicious," he said after a moment.

Y/N's face lit up, "You think so?" she asked, leaning forward slightly, her wide eyes fixed on him. He nodded, taking another slow, deliberate mouthful.

But he paused, his gaze flicking to her plate. "You haven't eaten," he pointed out, his tone softening further. He tapped the table lightly near her plate. "Eat. It'll get cold."

"Oh! Right. Yes. Of course!" She jolted, quickly grabbing her fork and taking a bite to reassure him—and maybe herself. She chewed quickly, nodding along like a student eager to please their teacher.

Her nerves began to ease as they settled into the meal. At first, she was stiff, her hands fluttering uncertainly as she darted glances at him between bites. But as the minutes passed and the conversation began to flow, her posture softened. Before long, she was chatting away, her words spilling over one another as she told him all about her day.

"And then," she said between bites, "I couldn't decide which brand of rice to get, so I just stood there in the aisle forever until this old lady came up and told me I looked lost. I was this close to just grabbing both."

Leonardo listened intently, eating slowly as though savoring both the meal and her chatter. His focus never wavered from her, as if every word she said was the most fascinating thing he'd ever heard.

When Leonardo's plate was nearly empty, Y/N didn't hesitate to scoop food from her own onto his plate, insisting he eat more. Despite his polite attempts to decline, he couldn't argue against her.

By the time they had finished eating, Y/N stood abruptly. "Let me get these," she said quickly, scooping up the dishes before he could protest.

"Y/N—" Leonardo started, but she was already moving, stacking the dishes like a tower.

"I've got it!" she called, wobbling slightly under the precarious tower of plates.

His body tensed as his gaze locked on her, ready to spring into action at the slightest sign of trouble. She teetered once, and his hand twitched instinctively, but she quickly steadied herself, muttering, "Careful, careful..."

She disappeared into the kitchen, and he didn't relax until he heard the clatter of plates safely hitting the counter.

When she returned, she carried a tray with a delicate puff pastry cake drizzled with salted caramel. He blinked in surprise, staring at the dessert. "You made this too?"

"Of course!" she said proudly, though there was a nervous tremor in her voice.

As she placed the cake in the center of the table, she spotted movement outside and hesitated, her eyes flicking to the window. She froze, eyes narrowing slightly as she peered toward the glass. Three figures were huddled just beyond the pane, their large shapes awkwardly pressed against the corner.

At first, her heart jumped at the sight—three strangers watching her bakery. But as her gaze lingered, she began to notice something familiar in their silhouettes. The curve of their shells, the outline of their masks—they looked suspiciously like...

"Leo?" she asked quietly, glancing back at him. "I think your friends are here."

Leonardo's posture changed in an instant. His body straightened, muscles coiling as his sharp gaze snapped toward the window. His entire demeanor shifted, instincts sharpening, ready for trouble, only to catch sight of three distinct figures.

They were huddled just outside, their large forms poorly concealed behind a corner, heads poking out awkwardly to peer inside. The instant Leonardo's sharp gaze met theirs, they ducked out of sight, scrambling back into the shadows like children caught sneaking a cookie.

Leonardo sighed heavily, the tension in his shoulders easing, though his irritation was clear. Y/N, however, tilted her head, studying his reaction. A soft, amused smile tugged at her lips.

He opened his mouth, struggling to find the right words. "They're not—" he started but hesitated, unsure how to explain. Before he could finish, Y/N had already set the pastry down and moved toward the front door of the bakery.

"Wait—Y/N..." Leonardo trailed off, sighing as he stood and followed her. With no choice but to trail behind, he allowed her to draw her own conclusions.

The two of them stepped outside, the cold night air brushing against their skin as they walked toward the alleyway where they had first met. The dim light from the streetlamp illuminated three large figures huddled in the corner, their voices low but heated as they bickered amongst themselves.

"Don't push me, Mikey!"

"I'm not pushing, you're in my space!"

"Both of you, shut up. He's gonna kill us if—"

Standing side by side with Leonardo, Y/N turned her head slightly toward him, covering the side of her mouth with her hand as she whispered, "I don't think they know they've been spotted."

Leonardo leaned down slightly to hear her whisper, the faintest trace of a smile tugging at his lips. Despite his irritation, he let out a quiet, amused chuckle, crossing his arms as he waited to see what she would do.

His gaze never left her, watching as her expression shifted, each emotion playing across her face like an open book.

She was nervous, her fingers fidgeted slightly, and her lips pressed together as she glanced between him and the alleyway. He could tell that she was thinking long and hard, and he already had a sinking feeling about what she was about to say.

"So..." she began quietly, her voice hesitant. "Should we invite them in for cake?"

Leonardo's brow twitched in response, and his reply was flat. "Not a chance."

Y/N didn't press him. She tilted her head slightly, meeting his gaze with a patient, questioning look. Her expression was full of that disarming sincerity he was starting to find harder to ignore.

He exhaled through his nose, turning his eyes away as if to escape her gaze. But even as he glanced to the side, his shoulders slackened slightly, his earlier tension melting into something softer. "You're relentless," he muttered, though his lips curved faintly at the corners.

Her face broke into a bright smile as she kept on staring in his direction. She didn't have to say a word—he already knew what she was thinking.

Leonardo met her gaze again, his sharp blue eyes locking with hers. His expression shifted, subtle but clear: If you really want this so badly, this one's on you.

Y/N's smile faltered into a tiny pout, her shoulders slumping ever so slightly. She'd been hoping he would be doing the heavy lifting. But the smirk on his face told her there was no way he was stepping in now.

She left out a soft huff as she called out, her voice slightly trembling.

"Umm! E... Excuse me!"

The three figures froze mid-argument, their silhouettes going rigid like deer caught in headlights. The silence that followed was deafening, and Y/N glanced up at Leonardo only to find him silently laughing.

She turned to glance at him, her cheeks heating up at his laughter. "You're not helping," she mumbled, her tone flustered.

Still laughing softly, he raised an eyebrow at her, wordlessly encouraging her to try again.

Y/N huffed lightly, gently elbowing him in the ribs before squaring her shoulders. (AU: 100% attack, 0% damage)

"Would you like to come inside?" she asked, her tone softer now.

Silence.

"I made a bit too much food, so we would love to have your company..!"

Silence.

(っ◞‸◟ c)

Her shoulders sank slightly, disheartened by their lack of response. She hesitated, glancing at Leonardo again, her brows furrowing in concern. Seeing her disappointment, Leonardo's patience finally wore thin.

He shook his head and let out a quiet sigh. "Alright," he muttered under his breath. Without another word, he strode down the alleyway.

Before any of the three could react, Leonardo was in front of them. In one smooth motion, he grabbed one turtle by the shell with one hand while using the other to wrangle the two others together. The three turtles squawked in protest, their attempts to escape futile against his firm grip.

"Inside. Now," Leonardo commanded, his voice low and leaving no room for argument.

"Leo, we were just—"

"Shut it."

Y/N trailed behind them, her hands clasped nervously in front of her as she watched Leonardo drag his 'friends' toward the bakery. "It's okay," she said quickly, her voice soft but reassuring. "Really, I don't mind. You didn't have to—"

Leonardo shot her a look that silenced any further protests, though his gaze softened slightly when it landed on her.

୨ TINY THEATRE ୧

*turtle brother's scrambling to see who Leo's girlfriend is*

Y/N: Eh? Are they interested in the dessert? ⁽⁽'o(≧ᗜ≦)o'⁾⁾

Leo: ... (¬_¬")

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

୨ Any constructive criticism? Please comment below! ˘ᗜ˘ ৎ

#x reader #tmnt #bayverse leo #leonardo x reader #bayverse tmnt #tmnt 2014 #leo x reader #tmnt bayverse #tmnt leonardo

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fractalist · 4 months ago

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I sometimes think about making a YouTube channel in which I "review" various items (e.g. a lightbulb, a pair of pants, a bag of frozen vegetables, etc.) but instead of talking about the quality of the item in any way I do essentially a live deep-dive into trying to figure out where it came from (which factory made it, when was it shipped to my location by whom, etc.)

I just realized I know a number of tips on how to track supply chains and that could be interesting or useful for people

#youtube #videos #capitalism

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h--hannah--h · 4 months ago

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In Community Shirley says how she found Leonard's youtube channel and comments "whats the point of reviewing frozen pizza."

actually reviewing frozen pizza is great, shirley, and leonard is 100% correct to do so.

personally my favorite frozen pizza is Red Baron Brick Oven Cheese Trio

Why is this pizza superior, you may ask?

First off, the crust. Out of most of the frozen pizzas I have tried this one is the most bread like (traditional pizza crust is a type of bread, usually high moisture and cooked on high heat). The outer crust of the pizza crust is nice and crunchy, and the inside is chewy but not hard to eat

Second, the sauce is a pretty simple red sauce as far as I can tell, which is optimal for a pizza in my opinion. Simple tomato sauce with herbs is best

The cheese they use is great. Mostly mozzarella with parmesan and provolone, a really great cheese blend for cheese pizza

Theres also herbs on top of the cheese as a garnish. It makes it feel fancy, I like that

Honestly a 10/10 frozen pizza. This is what other frozen pizzas should aspire for

I anyone wants me to review a different frozen pizza feel free to submit to my asks. Please keep in mind that I may be harsh (especially if its overly gimmicky like DiGiorno's pizzas, what the hell is wrong with those people). Also I will only review cheese pizza because im vegetarian and dont like vegetables on pizza (the texture makes my brain scream)

#community #pizza #frozen pizza #pizza review #red baron pizza #pizza expert #i would be super willing to make a gimmick blog out of this honestly

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thebiscuiteternal · 5 months ago

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"Stay away from these frozen vegetables!" "Don't eat these canned foods!" "These snacks will give you cancer!" "Don't order these drinks at a bar!" "Avoid cooking these foods in your air fryer!" "Deli meats you should never buy!" "Stay away from the state fair!" "Never eat these foods at a Chinese buffet!" "Never eat these foods off a Chinese restaurant menu!" "Never use aluminum foil, it's slowly killing you!" "Pre-shredded cheese will kill you!" "Microwaving food is killing you!" "Don't go to these chain restaurants!" "Shocking truths behind common brands!" "Shocking truths about gas station foods!" "Shocking truths about ketchup!" "Alarming facts about popcorn!"

And yet there's a glowing review that can't praise Chik-Fil-A's company policies highly enough.

Even if I know some of these are actually true (snack food color agents, for example), way to sound more like a conspiracy asshat than a food blog.

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snkts · 6 months ago

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The local Asian market was packed, shoppers pushing metal carts between wide aisles of various goods and ingredients. A low din of voices bounced off the metal and concrete surfaces, mingling with the hum of the refrigerators. They bought vegetables, tofu, and mushrooms in the produce section; the fancy thin sliced beef at the butcher; and various other items for hotpot that night, and frozen mochi to have for desert. Logan looked between items with a discerning eye, often reading their ingredient list, but Mikoto lacked the skill to tell what defined his choices. But they chatted as they shopped and Mikoto liked getting to see the myriad of cultures represented in the supermarket: Japanese, but also Korean, Chinese, Indian, Vietnamese, Thai, and so on. There was even a seafood section with fresh fish and crabs and squid.

On the far side of the store, as they were looping out of the freezer section, they passed a series of vendors selling food and meals: sushi, ramen, fried rice, and noodles. But Mikoto paused at one stall, drawing short. Behind some glass, one of the vendors was flipping small fish shaped pieces of dough around a metal pan and then stuffing them with various sweet feelings. Mikoto reached out to hook her hand around Logan's wrist, drawing his attention.

"Look! They're making Taiyaki!"

It hadn’t taken him long to realise that Academy City didn’t teach the kids it housed to be adults. They didn’t want functional adults. They wanted weapons. And weapons didn’t need to be able to take care of themselves. In fact, if they could, that was bad. It made it easier for them to leave. That meant all the money and time you put into them went to waste. The people who ‘made’ those weapons didn’t like wasting resources. Logan had decided that those people could go fuck themselves.

Mikoto didn’t know how to cook. He did. He could teach her, so he was going to teach her. They’d start small and work their way up - he wasn’t gonna get her any Michelin stars, but she’d be able to provide for herself. He’d made the executive decision that they were starting with foods she’d be more comfortable with. They’d had a few basic lessons so far, and all had gone well. She was a smart kid. The hardest part was just getting her to stop thinking about exact measurements and calculations. That wasn’t cooking. (He wished he’d had a camera the first time she asked him for a measurement for the garlic and he told her ‘whatever feels right’.) But she was making progress, and so he figured he’d show her something halfway between easy and intermediate: Hotpot. They could make the soup case themselves, and then the veggies would test her knife skills (he’d promised, no claws). A way to review the basics she’d learned so far, introduce the concept of poaching, and also just have a good meal. Hotpot was good.

Logan was looking through the list in his hand, double-checking to make sure they had everything they needed. He’d almost finished up when she speaks and catches his attention. Marketplaces were always… Difficult, for him to navigate the way he did most places. Bright colours everywhere. Vendors calling out and patrons holding conversations creating a cacophony of sound. Foods and flowers and people filling the air with clouds of scent. The air was so thick with spices and sugars that he could taste them with every breath. If he wasn’t careful, it could be disorienting, overwhelming. It was also the best place to get ingredients when he couldn’t take a joyride in the Blackbird. In this case, it was worth the effort.

But right now, Mikoto isn’t thinking about their ingredients. She was thinking about a stall that had caught her eye. … Well, he supposed he couldn’t blame her. They had been out a while. And they’d been thinking about food the entire time… He stood there for a moment, watching the vendors at work, focusing on the sound of frying dough and the smell of sweet red bean paste. He glances back at the list in his hand, then back to the vendors. Then he folds up the little paper and stuffs it into his pocket.

“Alright, fine.” He said, pulling out his wallet. If she was gonna twist his arm. “But you get one. We just got all this crap, don't ruin your dinner.” And he hands her enough money for two. Okay, so maybe he was a little hungry. And taiyaki was good.

#perditos #perditos ;; mikoto #verse ;; leader of the pack ;; later xmen #ic ;; trying to behave ;; asks #dfjhgdjhfg how DARE she suggest tasty snacks--#its so hard to be a parent :)

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eolewyn1010 · 2 years ago

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21, 34, 57 for the OTP asks (Schoethe, if you'd like)? :)

Of course I'd like, here we go!

21. Who would get into a fight to defend the other's honor? Who tends to the other's wounds?

I'd say they are both absolutely up to defend the other's honor, but in different ways: Goethe would look down his nose on the person infringing on Schiller's honor, and in cold politeness wish them a "good day" - before setting out to absolutely destroy that person socially. He'll make sure they never get a foot down in decent company again, a scathing review on every accomplishment, you better forget about that promising engagement (Goethe knows the family because of course he does); better get out of the country completely and change your name. He'll ruin a life, mercilessly and without a scratch on him - fortunately, because while Schiller would certainly try to take care of any wounds of Goethe's, he's kind of a chaotic mess and not really good at it.

Now, Schiller? Would just physically jump at the offending party and endeavour to rip their throat out with his teeth. He's feral. He would faint like a consumptive Victorian ingenue afterwards and Goethe would have to bring him to bed and tend to him tenderly, but he would do so happily and with heart eyes, because Schiller just beat up a guy for him. Conveniently, Goethe also knows a thing or two more about How To Live Healthily, so he's not a bad caretaker.

34. Who's more likely to tell a dirty joke or story to make the other blush?

Definitely Schiller; he's never been worried about making someone clutch their pearls. And once Goethe is over his initial "nyeh-nyeh-nyeh, your plays are crude and lewd and your Sturm-und-Drang attitude sucks!" fit, flustering him with just the kind of crude and lewd that Goethe complained about would make Fritzen's day.

57. Who's the serious one when grocery shopping and who likes to toss random things in the cart?

Again, Schiller has zero sense for health and/or self preservation; he probably lives off of chips, frozen pizza and dry noodle mixes. And rotting apples. Now, Goethe? The little nerd cooks exclusively with fresh vegetables and is positively a snob about local eggs and dairy products. Grocery shopping is Serious Business(TM) for Goethe. Especially since he tries to keep that idiot of a boyfriend alive.

#thanks!#ask thingie #Schoethe #Friedrich Schiller #Johann Wolfgang von Goethe #I still love ask games like this they give me such fun scenarios

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cyarskaren52 · 1 year ago

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https://tvline.com/lists/worst-tv-moments-2023-shocking-scenes-photos/

And just like that we are scarred for life. Here’s a gallery of tv moments from the cringe, the gross to the gory that we can’t unsee

2023 in Review: The Scenes We Wish We Could Unsee

Team TVLineDecember 11, 2023 7:00 am

Courtesy of HBO, Syfy, AMC, Foxnone

TV isn’t always filled with puppies and rainbows. Today, we’re (cautiously) revisiting the most twisted and disgusting happenings that flooded our screens — and our nightmares — in 2023.

Yes, we all might be better off not remembering The Last of Us’ fungal kiss of death or The Fall of the House of Usher’s gory acid shower, but where’s the fun in that? The list below isn’t all blood and guts, however. (Yay?) There’s also a rather revealing faux pas on Sex Education, Below Deck: Sailing Yacht’s human sushi tray (ick) and so much more.

A few quick reminders before you scroll down: The images below are pretty graphic, and some contain spoilers for your favorite shows. If you’re behind on any of the following, you might want to return later: 9-1-1, 9-1-1: Lone Star, Below Deck: Sailing Yacht, Bookie, Chucky, The Curse, Dave, The Fall of the House of Usher, Family Guy, Gen V, The Last of Us, New Amsterdam, Party Down, The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City, Servant, Sex Education, Succession, Ted Lasso, The Walking Dead: Dead City, What We Do in the Shadows, The Wheel of Time, Wolf Pack and YOU.

Now for the fun (?) stuff: Scroll down for 23 of the year’s most disturbing moments. When you’re done, hit the comments to make your own additions to this list. Which 2023 TV moments do you wish you could unsee?

Photo :��Fox screenshot

This one was a double whammy: After making us suffer through a character’s nightmare about her teeth falling out, the Fox procedural then made us watch that same character have (many!) tonsil stones extracted.

Photo : Fox screenshot (2)

The word “frozen” used to bring to mind delightful thoughts of singing snowmen and queens with ice powers. Now, the word makes us think of Rob Lowe’s Owen Strand pulling a guy out of a cryotherapy machine, then accidentally shattering his chest while attempting CPR. (Oops!) Oh, did we mention that the poor guy was the husband of the woman Owen was sleeping with? (Double oops!)

Below Deck: Sailing Yacht

Photo : Courtesy of Bravo

The crew on Bravo’s nautical reality franchise always goes to great lengths to make customers happy, but Gary took that to a whole new level when he became a human sushi tray for a special dinner. Not only were rolls of raw fish placed directly on his (clean, we’re hoping?) skin, but spicy wasabi was also served… on his nipples. Ours are tingling just thinking about it.

Photo : Max screenshot

Seeing Danny’s indebted client fall to his death wasn’t as bad as hearing the way he splattered once he hit the pavement. But we don’t have a list of Things We Can’t Unhear, so allow us the liberty of dropping this here.

Photo : Courtesy of Syfy

Nia Vardalos’ death scene was a masterclass in physical comedy, but we couldn’t help but wince at its sheer brutality. We can’t even decide which part was the grossest. The repeated slicing of Evelyn’s forearm with a butcher knife? The removal of her finger skin with a vegetable peeler? The head dunk into boiling water that melted her face? Actually, scratch that. It was definitely the peeler.

The Continental: From the World of John Wick

Photo : Peacock screenshot

As disappointed as we were to see half of Katie McGrath’s face covered up in the precious few scenes we got of her, eventually discovering what exactly some hungry rats had done to her mouth when the Adjudicator was but a wee lass made a very strong case for “masking up”!

Photo : Paramount+ screenshot

Emma Stone and Nathan Fielder’s Showtime series is constantly asking us to withstand high levels of cringe, but we almost couldn’t take this one: a prolonged peek at Whitney and Asher’s sex life, in which they both seemed to narrate a fantasy of Whitney having sex with another man while Asher controlled a vibrator for her. At least, that’s what we think we saw while shielding our faces from the screen.

Photo : Hulu screenshot

The FXX comedy forces us to watch at least one scene through our fingers every season. This time around, it was an unforgettably gross moment in the Season 3 finale, when the overzealous fan holding Dave and Brad Pitt hostage — a wild sentence fragment unto itself — dropped trou and urinated right there on Dave’s carpet, paranoid that using the actual bathroom would give Dave and Brad time to escape. Much like the captives, we didn’t know whether to look away in horror or keep staring at the spectacle before us.

The Fall of the House of Usher

Photo : Netflix screenshot

Prospero’s rager turned into the reddest of deaths when acid, and not water like he planned, rained down on the writhing mass of dancing partygoers. Melting your guests’ (and your own!) skin off their bodies while they scream, disintegrate and die? Ultimate party foul, Perry.

Photo : Fox screenshot

We’ve seen Peter Griffin take on a variety of strange body types over the years, but few have been as visually jarring as the coke-ravaged frame he sported in the screenshot above. The weirdest part? This isn’t even the only time this season that Peter has gotten hooked on a destructive drug. Thank God this show isn’t big on continuity, otherwise he’d have a rough road ahead of him.

Photo : Courtesy of Prime Video

The Boys spinoff certainly followed in the footsteps of the mothership series, delivering so many bloody and grotesque scenes that it’s difficult to pick just one. But if we have to narrow it down, even an exploding penis cannot top the Episode 5 sex scene in which a supe uses his vibrating fist to make his partner orgasm via the dolphin-esque blowhole on her back. We can’t even show you the moment, so take a look at Andre and Cate’s “WTF?” reactions instead.

Photo : HBO screenshot

We’re not sure why Tess wasn’t psyched when this infected sidled up to her and planted a big, tendril-filled, literal kiss of death on her in Episode 2 — he seems like such a fungi!

Photo : NBC screenshot

To be fair, we didn’t actually see all of the gruesomeness of when Max, Helen and co. amputated their wilderness guide’s leg in the forest to save her life. But just the sounds of the bone breaking and her guttural screams were enough to make us shudder.

Photo : Starz screenshot

Ron Donald may not have been very phased by his completely destroyed finger, but we’re siding with Henry’s feelings of shock and horror here. Needless to say, we really wish Ron had taken a beat (and a deep breath) before picking a fight with the back of his van.

The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City

Photo : Peacock screenshot

The image of a drunken Heather Gay puking in a plastic bag can’t be unseen, but it’s the sound of her violent hurling that really haunts us. Who knew such an iconic, elegant woman could not just toss her cookies, but so ferociously��heave them? And what was that other liquid spilling onto the floor?

Photo : Apple TV+ screenshot

If there’s one series that reliably makes the cut year after year, it’s Servant. This time, some poor cult member (he probably deserved it) had his eye plucked out by a bird. It would’ve been easier to stomach had the bird gotten its snack from a cadaver, but this guy was alive and screaming while the flying predator snatched his eyeball from its socket. Gross to the max.

Photo : Netflix screenshot

Sooo, we’re going to not include a photo of Otis’ flaccid penis here, but do we wish we could unsee that unsightly image? A thousand times, yes. But let’s face it: Of course Otis accidentally flashed a photo of his member for his entire school to see! It simply wouldn’t be Sex Education without some cringeworthy humiliations.

Photo : HBO screenshot

Heading into the series finale’s game-changing board vote, Roman fretted anew over why HE couldn’t be CEO. Kendall exerted dominance over his kid bro by pulling him in for a hug so purposely tight, it popped the stitches of the forehead wound Roman sustained during the street assault. Love hurts, the song tells us, but Kendall’s flex here was inhumane.

Photo : Apple TV+ screenshot

The opening scene of Ted Lasso’s Season 3 (series?) finale gave us one shock after another: Did Ted and Rebecca sleep together?! Oh, wait, no they didn’t. But now Coach Beard is here, and he’s in a thong! Of the three, that last one has haunted us the most, followed closely by the mental image of whatever Beard and Jane were doing in Rebecca’s guest bedroom the previous night.

The Walking Dead: Dead City

Photo : AMC screenshot

Leave it to the sewers of Manhattan to spew forth what is arguably the grodiest walker in the franchise’s history, a moldering behemoth made of fused-together zombies. Or at least zombie parts. (And we thought the rats were bad!)

What We Do in the Shadows

Photo : FX screenshot

Laszlo’s experiments to figure out why Guillermo couldn’t become a vampire went horribly awry when he combined Guillermo’s DNA with a number of animals, resulting in hideous hybrid creatures that were part man, part beast. It was tough enough just looking at them, but when they started talking and calling Guillermo “daddy”? We’d rather sit through an all-day accounting lecture from Colin Robinson than endure another minute of that.

Photo : Prime Video screenshot (2)

Everyone’s favorite reincarnated Dragon edgelord got BUSY this season with the totally not-evil innkeeper next door. So the absolute last thing we expected was to see Rosamund Pike send something akin to a pike right through the poor woman’s chest while they were at their, ahem, busiest. Not sure how Rand is expected to carry this trauma over to another bed anytime soon…

Photo : Paramount+ screenshot

Imagine waking up in the hospital, only to discover a bloody ram in the bed next to you. Then imagine a bloody claw ripping its way out of the bloody ram’s bloody stomach. Now try not imagining it — we bet you can’t! Welcome to our nightmare.

Photo : Netflix screenshot

We’re not looking to kink shame anyone (golden showers are your prerogative!), but we also could have continued existing just fine having never seen Lukas Gage giggling with delight while taking a stream of hot pee to the face. Joe didn’t know what he was walking in on, and neither did we.

Sent from my iPhone

#Gross #yikes #horrible #yuck #cringe #cringecore #unsee #Can’t unsee #Tv show #year in review

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bluepoodle7 · 5 months ago

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#Kroger #KrogerMixedVegetablesMealReadySides #FrozenVegetables #VegetableSoup #FrozenVegetablesReview

I tried the Kroger Mixed Vegetables Meal Ready Sides and these were pretty good.

These vegetables where put in a beef vegetable soup that was crock pot cooked and later microwaved.

These vegetables tasted fresh and firm in texture for frozen vegetables.

The Meijer Fredrick's Bacon & Cheddar Beef Patties and vegetable soup was lightly sweet and salty in taste while the burger patties added a chewy texture.

I would eat these again.

Got at Kroger.

#Kroger #Kroger Mixed Vegetables Meal Ready Sides #Frozen Vegetables #Beef Vegetable Soup #Frozen Vegetables Review

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llscafe · 1 year ago

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purple carrot premade meals, reviewed - part 2!

meal #6:

best meal so far! the plantains were tangy and full of flavor, the corn and rice was rich and creamy. finally, we're starting to see some interesting recipes.

meal #7:

this is only half a portion bc i gave the other half to my lovely bride-to-be. look at how little rice they gave! even if i had kept all the rice for myself it would still be paltry.

the spices are fragrant and give the meal such a lovely aroma. tofu is a bit rubbery, but not too bad. the sauce is the star; it just needs a bit of salt and it would be perfect.

meal #8:

i'm noticing a theme w/ a lot of these meals where they don't even try to make the tray look full. for the amount these meals cost, it's not a good look.

the sausage is flavorful if a bit dry, and the beans and rice are well spiced with a nicely al dente texture. like the pasta from last week, this dish is hard to fuck up.

meal #9:

another really good one! and this one actually has accurate prep directions, lol. the farro is bouncy and chewy with a great flavor, the chickpea salad is sweet and perfectly seasoned. both sides pair very well together, too.

meal #10:

this one almost looked like it had 2 different sides to it, but it felt like it was supposed to be stirred (the instructions do say that, but who reads) so stir it i did.

buffalo sauce is always very tangy and a bit spicy, and this was no exception. the cheesy sauce isn't the really thick and creamy kind, but it's nice as a lighter alternative. definitely a very tasty and comforting meal, if lacking in vegetables.

🥕🥕🥕

so overall, here's my verdict on purple carrot prepared meals: some of the offerings are better than your average frozen meal, but most are about the same.

if you want to try out some new vegan meals, and you can't/don't want to cook them yourself, you're probably better off trying a frozen meal brand like tattooed chef - especially considering the usual exorbitant price of purple carrot (13.00 per prepared meal), which is about as expensive as eating out every day. with the hefty discount that i got (4.66 per prepared meal), the pricing is comparable to a somewhat high-end assortment of frozen meals.

the meals are also a bit low in calories, protein and volume, so the average person would probably need to supplement with snacks and side dishes to feel satisfied.

the menu seems to consist of different variations/combinations of the same elements - i took a look at some other meals i could have received, and there was a lot of "meal #1 but with the sauce/topping from meal #2." if you ordered every week, you'd probably want to customize and make sure you get your favorites. i avoided everything with capers, lol.

i did get some extra store credit due to a delivery mishap, so i ordered some of the cook-it-yourself meals as well. they'll be reviewed in part 3. see you then!

#purple carrot #vegan #food review

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culinaryburst · 1 year ago

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Full Review: Best Ninja QB3001SS Ninja Fit Compact Personal Blender

Pricing

The Ninja QB3001SS Ninja Fit Compact Personal Blender is currently priced at $69.99 on Amazon.com. It is also available on other websites, such as Walmart and Target, for similar prices.

Here is a breakdown of the pricing details:

Product price: $69.99

Shipping and import fees: $60.09 (for shipping to India)

Total price: $129.08

Please note that prices may vary depending on the retailer and shipping location.

Chapter 1: Introducing The Ninja QB3001SS Ninja Fit Compact Personal Blender

With its compact design, powerful 700-watt motor, and 16-oz cups, the Ninja Fit is the perfect choice for busy people who want to make healthy, delicious meals and snacks at home.

Compact Design

The Ninja Fit is designed to fit on even the smallest countertops, making it ideal for small kitchens or apartments. It also comes with two 16-ounce cups, so you can blend and go without transferring your drinks to another container.

Powerful Motor

The Ninja Fit’s powerful 700-watt motor can easily crush ice and pulverize frozen ingredients, so you can make your favorite frozen drinks and smoothies in seconds. It’s also powerful enough to chop nuts, seeds, and herbs, making it a versatile tool for food prep tasks.

Easy To Clean

The Ninja Fit is easy to clean, with all its parts being dishwasher-safe. The blades are also removable, so you can easily clean them by hand.

Recipe Inspiration

The Ninja Fit has a 50-recipe inspiration guide to get you started, with recipes for smoothies, frozen drinks, sauces, and more. So whether you’re a beginner or a seasoned pro, you’ll find recipes to love in Ninja Fit’s recipe guide.

Nutrient Extraction

Frozen Blending

The Ninja Fit is perfect for blending frozen ingredients, so you can make your favorite frozen drinks and smoothies in seconds. It can easily crush ice and pulverize frozen fruits and vegetables, so you can enjoy your drinks and smoothies at the perfect consistency.

On-The-Go Convenience

The Ninja Fit comes with two 16-ounce cups with spout lids, so you can blend directly in the cup and attach the spout lid to take your drink with you on the go. This is perfect for busy people who want to enjoy healthy and delicious meals and snacks on the go.

Overall, the Ninja QB3001SS Ninja Fit Compact Personal Blender is a versatile, easy-to-use blender perfect for making shakes, smoothies, frozen drinks, and more. With its compact design, powerful motor, and easy-to-clean parts, the Ninja Fit is an excellent choice for busy people who want to make healthy and delicious meals and snacks at home.

Also: Full Review: Best Ninja BL610 Professional 72 Oz Countertop Blender

Also: Full Review: Best Powerful Immersion Blender, Electric Hand Blender 500 Watt With Turbo Mode

Also: Full Review: Best Ninja BN801 Professional Plus Kitchen System, 1400 WP, 5 Functions For Smoothies

Chapter 2: Benefits Of Using The Ninja QB3001SS Ninja Fit Compact Personal Blender

The Ninja QB3001SS Ninja Fit Compact Personal Blender offers a variety of benefits, including:

Make healthy and delicious smoothies on the go. With its compact design and 16-ounce cups, the Ninja Fit is perfect for making smoothies on the go. Blend your ingredients in the cup, attach the spout lid, and you’re ready.

Crush ice and pulverize frozen ingredients for resort-like frozen drinks. The Ninja Fit’s powerful motor can easily crush ice and grind frozen ingredients, so you can make your favorite frozen drinks at home. Whether craving a margarita, daiquiri, or piña colada, the Ninja Fit can help you create the perfect frozen drink.

Prepare food quickly and easily by chopping nuts, seeds, and herbs. The Ninja Fit is also a versatile tool for food preparation tasks. It can quickly chop nuts, seeds, herbs, and puree fruits and vegetables. It is excellent for making pesto, hummus, and other sauces and dips.

Easy to clean and dishwasher-safe. The Ninja Fit is easy to clean

For full article: Click here

#healthy food #foodporn #food #foodie #foodlover

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pure5extraction · 1 year ago

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What are the extraction methods for CBD oils?

Supercritical method, cold pressing, vegetable oil, solvent… So many terms that qualify the manufacture of CBD products. But what reality is hidden behind each of these practices? Is there a fundamental difference between CBD products extracted in this way or that way? What is the best mode of extraction? In this blog, you will explore the manufacture of CBD and its impact on the different CBD oils.

The origin of CBD

CBD (cannabidiol) is a molecule naturally present in hemp and known for its relaxing effects. A notable property of CBD is its lipophilic character. Chemically, CBD can only bind to fat or oil. Thus, it is not soluble in water. In order to transform CBD into oil, there are several Cannabis extraction methods, more or less natural, each with its own taste and specificities.

Extraction methods to create CBD oil

Let's review the four main methods of extracting CBD: supercritical extraction (1), cold pressing extraction (2), vegetable oil extraction (3), and extraction. by solvent (4).

1. Supercritical CO2 extraction

CO2 extraction aims to create phase changes (state of matter) in the CO2 and make it reach a so-called supercritical state. This process makes it possible to extract CBD while maintaining the number of terpenes in the plant material (CBN, CBG, etc.). Manufacturers favor this method for its efficiency and relative simplicity: no use of solvents or chemicals could alter the product's purity. However, CBD oil extracted with supercritical CO2 must be reprocessed to remove all traces of THC, which requires laboratory intervention.

CO2, a non-volatile element, is also already used in several industries wishing to control the concentration of a molecule, such as coffee and essential oils. At the end of the process, the CO2 is condensed and stored for reuse. Nothing is lost; everything is reused!

Thus, supercritical extraction is often used for the creation of rich and flavorful Full Spectrum CBD oils.

2. Cold Press Extraction

CBD extraction is often done cold for the same reason: to maintain a natural result while retaining the taste of the terpenes.

With the cold-press cannabis cbd oil extraction equipment, you can run the frozen hemp flowers through a press yourself and extract the CBD and terpenes as low-CBD hemp oil. It is a simple and ecological method to produce your own CBD. Disadvantage? It is not a very effective method when it comes to cannabidiol… Indeed, it takes a lot of hemp flowers to produce little CBD. This is why, apart from edible hemp oil, you will not find or find very few cold-pressed CBD oils on the market.

3. Vegetable oil extraction

Another DIY method, vegetable oil extraction, involves using hot oil to extract CBD from hemp. Instead, use olive, sesame, or coconut oil. This natural method makes it possible to produce tasty CBD oil. But the problems associated with artisanal extraction remain: you need a lot of hemp for little product; moreover, the hot oil may damage the molecules you are trying to extract.

4. Solvent extraction

The hemp is bathed in a solvent in order to extract the CBD. The solvent can be either ethanol, butane, or propane. By heating the liquid, the solvent evaporates, and only the CBD oil remains. The aforementioned solvents are flammable, even explosive; this process is reserved for knowledgeable chemists and CBD Growers.

What is the best CBD oil extraction method?

Supercritical extraction is the most effective way to produce natural, flavor-rich CBD oil. When cold, it keeps the CBD and terpenes pure, does not alter molecules, and uses no solvents, although a second treatment may be required to achieve less than 0.2% THC in the final bottle.

Very effective, it uses a minimum of hemp for a maximum of oil. Finally, ecologically, it reuses CO2 and requires very little energy for high yields. Artisanal extraction may have its charm, but supercritical extraction remains the most efficient and guarantees cost control for both the producer and the consumer.

#CBDoil #oilextraction #CBDextractionequipment #THCRemediation #cbdoilextraction #pure5extraction

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infamousbrad · 1 year ago

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Been meaning to do a review of my new favorite product, and it was definitely something I experimented with to solve this exact problem:

My life is just demonstrably better (flavor, texture, perceived health) if my food has more varied ingredients in it. But ...

Fresh vegetables don't keep, so I end up throwing away a fortune in spoiled food, take more energy to prepare and clean up after than I have most days. And ...

Canned vegetables have had all the texture and flavor boiled out of them and typically replaced with salt and sugar, so that's basically all they taste of. And ...

Frozen vegetables store well, retain their taste and texture, are affordable, and require basically no food prep or cleanup time, just throw a handful into the mix with whatever I'm cooking or reheating, but my apartment came with a tiny refrigerator/freezer, so I'm back to near-constant grocery shopping trips.

Finally, a friend who heard me complaining about this asked if I'd considered storing dehydrated vegetables? The option hadn't even occurred to me, because no grocery store within 200 miles of here stocks them. (I checked.) A few google searches turned up my new favorite thing:

Mother Earth Products!

(Not an affiliate link. I genuinely want you to believe me when I say that this review is not compensated in any way.)

If you are even slightly tempted to see if this will make it easier for you to get more food in your food, I recommend starting with the easiest one to use (no soaking time needed, just shake a half a handful of it into anything and simmer for 10 minutes): their six-vegetable soup mix. (Carrots, celery, onion, bell pepper, peas, parsley.) Throw it into pasta sauce, throw it into broth, throw it into ramen, throw it (and an egg and some bread crumbs) into a meatloaf, throw it into any canned soup that you wish tasted better -- I have fed this stuff to my pickiest friends and everybody goes nuts for it. And once you factor in how much one of those bags or canisters expands to with water, it's surprisingly affordable.

If it works for you at all, try some of the other vegetables and mixes. I love soaking some potatoes, bell peppers, onions, and sausage-flavored TVP into a pickle jar in the fridge over night, draining it and throwing it into some off-brand Egg Beaters in the morning and scrambling it up. Add some TVP and some onions to their refried beans, then stir in some cheese and a splash of hot sauce, and it's a delicious bean dip that's filling enough to make a meal. I've worked up a 13-vegetable soup, inspired by Panera's (back when it was still good) and the fourth experiment drew raves from guests.

(I was less impressed with the freeze-dried fruits, but ymmv.)

You can eat vegetables without wasting food, without them tasting like ass, without spending a fortune, and without spending an hour prepping them and then cleaning up afterwards. Seriously, try this stuff!

i mean this in the gentlest way possible: you need to eat vegetables. you need to become comfortable with doing so. i do not care if you are a picky eater because of autism (hi, i used to be this person!), you need to find at least some vegetables you can eat. find a different way to prepare them. chances are you would like a vegetable you hate if you prepared it in a stew or roasted it with seasoning or included it as an ingredient in a recipe. just. please start eating better. potatoes and corn are not sufficient vegetables for a healthy diet.

#foodie #foodgasm #dehydrated #vegetables #mother earth products

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