#For the good of the colony of course

[pushing500]

Oopsie daisies, what an unfortunate and unforeseen outcome to this refugee quest. Whatever will we do now? I suppose all that's left is to consume them out of respect ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Blackdragon is starting work on making some packaged survival meals for the first leg of our journey towards the crashed ship. He's got a level 8 cooking skill with a minor passion for it. A handy colonist to have, for sure.

In other news, Socks is getting along swimmingly with both Laursen and her cellmate Duchess! At some point, Socks has been converted to our cult, but I must have missed it in all the goings-on. We're working to recruit her now.

In a few days, our violent conversion ritual will be ready again, though, so Blackdragon's catgirl fiancee Duchess had best be prepared...

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[pluralsword]

Sorry everybody, had to do it. XD the joke is in the comic panel text if the meaning is unclear due to this being a variant of the meme format. Arcee sure has long days sometimes huh, glad she has determination, wisdom, trust, and love to get through it. If you're stumped check under the cut:

This is a variant of the Loss meme, the loss also being her and her family's long days

[risoria]

No but seriously it IS so sad and such a futile action to try talking to people online these days bc you can try to make the point ”my whole outlook on life is changing, and re-prioritizing what and who you support and forging new friendships and getting to talk to likeminded people @ protests or via endeavours online is a good thing actually. it’s a good thing to try, it benefits everyone - if your mental health is improving somewhat it helps you to keep doing things and your community and also yourself long term” and they’ll be like ”oh so you want (idol/celebrity) TO DIE IS THAT WHAT youre saying, racist!!!!??” like, respectfully, bitch are you stupid??? try not to deflect from the topic. please practice reading comprehension, and then keep going with compassion and growing personal morals because you really need all three…

[dykepaldi]

every single time i forget how much magicians apprentice/witchs familiar revolves around davros and its such a shame. wish it was just my fave fucked up poly situationship running around getting into shenanigans.

[rustchild]

.

[lesenbyan]

There are few things worse, I think, than reading a call to action memoir that is so close to right but really should have been shelved for at least 5yrs before going to print so the author has time to learn enough to see all the false equivalencies that really hinder the point

[andromedasummer]

one thing i love about my uni is even when the subject we are studying is about far away country or ultra specific phenomenon theres always a book in the syllabus, published by the university, by a member of that country and/or culture, by an expert on that special subject, who happened to attend my university too. who's lived in the same cities i have.

[reachfolk]

*pokes blog* damn I think she's not totally dead, that's a shock

[mantisgodsdomain]

We're going to talk about our cool vampire guy headcanons again. We like to set Monsieur Scarlet as a member of Solenopsis invicta, albeit a very unconventional example of the species. As a fire ant, technically, he is venomous - however, he's not actually had venom production online for decades, and at this point the cost for Making That Bite Work Again far outweighs the perceived benefit.

Would it be directly useful for his survival to be capable of injecting people with venom that causes intense burning sensations? Yes, probably, especially since he's at a scale where the swelling induced would probably take out an arm for hours at a time. He's just not going to fix it, because that takes life force that he could be using for other purposes, like breathing, or keeping his heart running, or having an emergency teleportation stock so that he can fling himself a metre or two in any direction when need be.

[everysongineverykey]

m/rina constantly sharing reels begging americans to speak up about israel/palestine and other issues and writing entire songs about how racist the us is is sooo. like yes absolutely. america and north america in general needs to do what we can about this and we as white people are all complicit in institutional racism but girl... why is it only ever america you preach to. aren't you literally british.

[icryyoumercy]

@nimblermortal

first, because these things are important nowadays, i am not a medical professional, this is not professional medical advice, the WHO has helpful information about malaria, when living or travelling in a region where malaria happens, mosquito repellent and appropriate protective gear are mandatory and non-negotiable, and so on

quinine is made from tree bark, which makes it one of the two medically useful things made from tree bark i know of, and also makes me wonder how people learn these things. were they just. walking around biting random trees. is the desire to chew on tree bark just part of what makes humans human.

it has initially been used as a muscle relaxant by the quechua people, to treat uh. random shivering? which is apparently a thing people sometimes do? which i could look into, but then i'd probably get distracted

the spaniards brought it back to europe, as they did with so many things, and because things like germ theory and microbiology and chemistry were still centuries from being discovered, what people knew of malaria was that it causes fever and thus shivering with very noticeable periodicity. and they had just been told about a thing that can stop shivering, so might as well give it a shot. if the symptoms are all you are aware of, the symptoms are all you can treat.

and for some utterly baffling reason, it turned out it didn't just help against shivering, it actually cured malaria? which. wasn't what anyone was aiming for, but gift horses and all that.

rome, being located very conveniently in a swamp, and having a rather inconvenient amount of popes and other people important to the catholic church, was perfectly located to pioneer such treatment and make a great many of the rich and powerful (and thus by advertisment of word of mouth and rumor everyone else) want some more of this marvellous drug, which made quinine (that is, the bark it's extracted from) one of peru's most important stolen goods

then, of course, a lot of fucked up colonialism happened (including in africa, because it's hard to do colonialism while dying of malaria), because europeans were unwilling to engage in things like fair and equal trade with non-europeans, we get fun medical price gouging and attempts at monopolies and general unpleasantness, and someone finally managed to isolate the exact chemical compound instead of just grinding up the bark and mixing it with something that tastes better than tree bark

and around the 1940s, malaria treatments with fewer unpleasant side effects were discovered (which i know nothing about and won't look up because adhd), and by 2006 the WHO has declared that quinine shouldn't be used as the first choise in treating malaria for a variety of reasons, including resistant strains and aforementioned side effects

also, if you're really curious about the taste, tonic water is traditionally made with quinine, and has been used as a prophylactic against malaria. once it wasn't used for that purpose any longer, though, people have decided to add less quinine and more sugar and citrus because they didn't enjoy just how incredibly bitter that stuff was. also, the FDA says you can't have more than 83 ppm of quinine per liter of tonic water, so if you wanted to treat malaria with it, you'd need to drink some ten liters per day, and if you want to use it for prevention, you'd need around 20 liters per day, at which point malaria seems like the better option

what tonic water can help with, on the other hand, is muscle cramps! not sure how much of that is the quinine and how much is the placebo effect, but at that point, we're back to readily available and comparatively harmless

either way, in the 1860's, it was one of the few actually working medical things (along with chloroform and diethyl ether for general anaesthesia, and opium for pain relief), so they will throw it at anything that has even the slightest ressemblance to periodic fever (to be fair, a number of other things they did also had the required medical effects, they just ran afoul of paracelsus's basic adage of toxicity

Alle Dinge sind Gift, und nichts ist ohne Gift; allein die Dosis macht, dass ein Ding kein Gift ist. All things are poison, and nothing is without poison; the dosage alone makes it so a thing is not a poison.

—Paracelsus, 1538

by reaching the poisonous dosage at the same or a much earlier point than the therapeutic dosage)

[songofwizardry]

not to be a one-note person or one of those "man this reminds me of a book I read" people but so many times recently I have thought, "I need you to read the word for world is forest by ursula k le guin and then we can have this conversation again"

[oveliagirlhaditright]

I guess it's not overly common, or maybe it is and it's just in fiction, because there's plenty of them, and good in depth ones...but I also have always kind of liked or at least had interest for Bangelus I always was bummed there was never another meeting w them. It was something of ATS that didn't make sense since she was all he thought about last time he was out and he even almost ended the world. It was waste that rematch never happened....

I definitely agree, anon. I imagine a lot of it has to do with the legal issues at the time, of course. With Buffy and Angel being on different networks and the networks not really wanting the different characters to appear on each other's shows.

And, perhaps, the writers felt like if they had a Buffy vs. Angelus thing again--even if there would of course be some differences this time--it would be too much like Buffy season two, so instead they had Angelus vs. Faith instead (which I do love).

But it definitely is weird that Angelus didn't seem to mention Buffy much in Angel season 4, when she was all he thought about before. I think the most we get is him calling Buffy "a pistol," (which is a great line), and him calling Dawn and asking if Buffy's there (to figure out if the Slayer in town he's hearing about is Buffy or Faith), right?

To be honest, we can't deny that some of this might also be because season four is where a lot of where the Angel/C*ordelia plot line is. And during that, the show kind of stopped mentioning Buffy (to maybe try and give the illusion that Angel had moved on some, to try and get the audience to stop thinking of the Angel/Buffy pairing, or moreover to get people to not question... "Wait, how is Angel pursuing a relationship when he still has the curse when the whole reason he left Buffy is because he can't have a relationship if he still has the curse?"). So that might also be part of it. But I definitely think it's moreso the first points.

And, I know I'm biased here, of course (though I do still enjoy Angel/C*ordelia some, though Angel/Buffy is my OTP now), but I don't think Angelus really had feelings for C*ordelia (Buffy seems to be the only person that both the man and demon in him loved). Or if he did, it wasn't like what he felt for Buffy. Because if he had, wouldn't they have made him crazy like his feelings for Buffy had? Like, wouldn't he have wanted to destroy her for making him love her, too, if that had been a thing? So I don't think something like "Angelus had feelings for C*ordelia and that's why he didn't really think about Buffy in season four" was a thing.

The closest we probably ever get to seeing Buffy and Angelus ever interact again in canon is the comics (I don't know if you've read those, anon).

In season 8, I feel like Twilight (this other persona of Angel's, who, is, like partly good and partly bad; and also being possessed by his and Buffy's kind-of-evil kid [it's a super long and complicated story)] is kind of Angelus-like to me. But also Angel-like some. And yes, he and Buffy do end up fighting.

And then in season 10, Angelus makes a brief appearance (when his great-grandsire brings him out again) and he jealously attacks Spike in knowing that at the moment Buffy has chosen to be with him instead. And this definitely seems to hint, of course, that Angelus has finally accepted his feelings for Buffy by this point (the Twilight stuff kind of did, too--if you choose to see Twilight as partly Angelus at all--since he was choosing to be with Buffy and trying to create a perfect world with her, where they and everyone they loved could be together).

There's also a part in the tie-in book "Monster Island" (that takes place in early Buffy season 6 and Angel season 3), where Buffy and Angel (and Gunn) are kidnapped by the Big Bad of the book's minions. To try and get them out, Tara casts a spell to get all magical creatures to attack each other (thinking the demons would then turn against each other, and they could just easily swoop in and save Buffy and Angel at that point). But she didn't count on Buffy and Angel also being magical creatures, of course (or even herself being a magical creature), so Buffy and Angel are trying to break from their bonds to kill each other. And Angel is starting to be very Angelus-like (like, Angel even thinks that), though he's trying to fight it.

...This reply is all over the place. And I don't know if it makes much sense. Sorry about that! But like you, I do kind of wish that we'd gotten more Bangelus in canon! Like, it's cool that in the comics it seems that Angelus has undergone some sort of journey offscreen and accepted his love for Buffy, but I wish we had seen that onscreen somewhere.

But oh well. I guess that's what fanfiction is for:)

Thanks for the ask!

Edit: There's also more Buffy and Angelus in the book "Night Terrors," a Buffy Choose Your Own Adventure book. But if you get on the path where Angelus shows up, it's sort of an alternate canon to Buffy season two, as he shows up earlier there than he did in season two (before he and Buffy make love, etc.).

Angelus is also in the book "One Thing or Your Mother," and the classic comic "Ring of Fire," but they're more missing moments/episodes from season two, than Angelus showing up in a later season and seeing Buffy again or anything like that. I do highly recommend both, however, since you're a Bangelus fan. Especially "One Thing or Your Mother." Oh! And in the tie-in-novel "Here Be Monsters" (that takes place during Buffy season three), there's a section where Buffy is seeing her worst nightmares. I think it's Angelus she sees (and I think she sees herself killing him again? it's been a while), who tells her that she knows how their story is going to have to end (with her killing him once more), and she'd better make it stick this time.

In the tie-in book, "The Evil That Men Do" (a book that takes place in season three), Buffy and Angel are kidnapped by Helen (a former vampire lover of Angelus') and her lover and forced to try to kill each other in a gladiator-like game. They pretend that they've turned on each other to get out of it and get their enemies to try to kill one another (as Helen's lover was always jealous of her and Angelus, and now he fears they're going to be together again).

In the classic comic "City of Despair" (that takes place in Buffy season 4/Angel season 1) Buffy and Angel are abducted to another dimension (called the City of Despair, actually), and forced to battle each other. They both have these collars on their necks, that are impossible to remove and will kill them if they disobey. They're also, like, almost forced to fight against their will: their bodies moving with a mind of their own, I mean. But eventually Buffy realizes that it's literally people's despair keeping them there. She convinces Angel to try to fight against the feeling with her for just one moment: the two of them embrace, and then escape.

Edit 2: Wait. I guess there's also the Buffy book "Big Bad," that has Buffy and Angelus in it, but I haven't read it yet. So I can't tell you how good or in-character that one is atm. And unlike how the original tie-in books and classic comics were always okayed by at least one of the original writers, I'm not sure if these new novels have been. I'm thinking not?

Edit 3: And though a part of me is loath to mention Boom, since they're not canon and I have... not very positive emotions about these comics in a lot of ways. In the first Buffy/Angel comic they were doing, Angel ended up possessed by something called the Hellmother, I believe it was called, while he and Buffy were on a mission in the Hellmouth together. And then Buffy ended up having to fight him.

[theitcharchives]

I looove zooming out of my works and examining them through lens of contemporary events. Babydoll you're such a product of your times

[phantom-dc]

Bruce sighed.

He never thought he would die like this. When he started out as Batman he was certain he would meet his end fighting the criminal underworld of Gotham. When he got older and life got stranger, he believed he would die fighting off a threat like Joker or Deathstroke, maybe even Darkseid. Being used as a human sacrifice to the King of the Infinite Realms was not on that list, let alone being a willing sacrifice.

Unfortunately, it had been necessary. An asteroid was on collision course with Earth. The asteroid had a colony of sapient alien life on it, so destroying it was not an option. As the League grew desperate, Constantine revealed a similar incident had happened a few years ago. The King of the Infinite Realms had, along with his subjects, turned the Earth intangible and both the Earth and the Asteroid had survived. Constantine isn’t sure why or how, but there are signs an extremely powerful ghost had merged realities and in the process erased the memories of this event from the entire population of Earth! The only reason Constantine knows about it is because a Demon with time-based powers told him during one of their poker games. Summoning this King was risky, as they had no idea what the King would want in return, but this entity seemed like their best bet. Now Bruce thinks they had been wrong.

Superman pulled Bruce out of his thoughts:

“Bruce, are you sure you want to go through with this? If we work together, we might be able to-”

Bruce cut him off:

“No, Clark. You heard Constantine. If we do not hold up our end of the deal, the Ghost King could simply make his ally, this “Clockwork”, reverse time to before the planet was saved. The Earth and the asteroid will still be destroyed, killing everyone on both. This is the only way.”

Clark looked dejected. He knew his friend was right. The King had turned the entire Earth intangible with one hand! He knew the League couldn’t defeat this foe, not without help. Any being that could help them would demand even more bloodshed in exchange, though. One human life in exchange of saving the entire planet had been a steal, according to the Justice League Dark. Clark looked at Bruce:

“Are you going to put on your cowl? This will be the only chance you have to tell the other Leaguers who you are.”

Bruce looked at his cowl. He had taken of his suit, so that his family had something to bury. But to reveal his identity to anyone other than Clark....

“I will keep it on. Even if I die here, I cannot risk anyone finding out my identity and using it to get to my family. I hope the League understands.”

Bruce is pulled into a hug. As Clark holds him as close as he can without breaking bones Bruce cannot help being filled with regret. He wanted more time with his family and, dare he say, friends. This was not how things were supposed to go. Clark pulls away and seems to want to say something:

“Bruce, I just want you to know, I-”

“WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON, B?”

Suddenly Nightwing enters the room, along with the entire Bat-family. Even Alfred and Oracle, donning masks, are there. They looked confused and scared, which made sense. They had all been summoned to the Watchtower, and when they had seen non-field members there as well they knew something was very wrong. Robin stepped forward, demanding an explanation:

“Father, what is happening? Why did you ask for us here? Explain yourself this instant!”

Red Robin looked ready to fight, staff in hand and in a low stance:

Where is the danger? Who is the enemy? Do you have intel for us? ARE YOU BEING MIND CONTROLLED?

Spoiler yanked at Red Robin’s cowl, pulling him out of his paranoid spiral:

“Easy, Captain Paranoid! Let him speak!”

Red Hood was clearly agitated. It was never a good sign if he was asked to the Watchtower:

“The fuck is going on, old man? Are you dying or something? That’s my stick, not yours!”

Bruce steeled his nerves. This was not going to be an easy conversation. How does one tell their family they are going to die and there is nothing to be done about it? Things had been going well for them, too. Dick and he hadn’t fought as often anymore, Jason had not called him names when he patrolled Crime ally last week, Tim hadn’t done anything that could be considered villainous (that he knew of) and Damian had not stabbed any goons for a month. Truly things had been good. Bruce knew this would mess it all up. He feared Jason would start killing again, or Damian would take out his grief on the criminals or Tim would… Well he had no idea. Last time Bruce disappeared Tim blew up so many LoA bases (he still wasn’t sure whether there had been people inside or not), so it was anyone’s gue-

“Sir, could you please elaborate on why we are here? I’m assuming it has something to do with the reason for this dreadful cold, and perhaps your lack of a shirt?”

Bruce sighed. Alfred always knew how to get through to him. With a heavy heart he told them everything. He would sacrifice himself for the survival of both planets. There was nothing to be done about that, and he asked them to please accept his decision. Naturally everyone was outraged. Amidst the chaos, Orphan asked a question:

“Why you?”

Bruce explained that, according to Constantine, the King had asked for a single sacrifice in return: “To feast on a non-magic, non-meta mortal human that will not resist being consumed.” It had pointed specifically at Batman, making sure they all knew which one it wanted. There had been no time to negotiate the prize, so he had accepted. After that it had left immediately for Earth, turning it intangible so the asteroid flew through harmlessly and fulfilling its end of the deal. Orphan seemed to think for a bit, before speaking up again:

“We’ll miss you.”

She hugged Batman. The others, realizing there was nothing they could do, at least not before facing the King, joined in as well. Bruce told them how proud he was of everyone. That they were strong and brilliant, and to please protect each other and Gotham in his stead. He thanked Alfred and Oracle for their help over the years and to please continue to support the others with the same strength they used to help him. After a moment they were interrupted by a knock on the door.

Wonder Woman had entered the room. With a saddened expression, and a dented doorhandle that showed her tension, she had come to collect her friend.:

“Batman. It’s time.”

Bruce nodded at her. Thanking her, he tried to leave with her, but was stopped by Alfred. After a quick hug, Alfed offered Bruce a cookie from the plate he had brought along:

“Every man deserves a final meal. I’m sorry this was all I have to offer.”

Taking a grateful bite, Bruce allowed himself to indulge in the taste of home.

“Thank you, Alfred. This means more to me then you realize.”

Steeling himself once more, Batman and the others followed Wonder Woman to the main room. It was the largest room in the Watchtower, several stories high with observation platforms, security screens showing cities all over the planet and a teleportation platform. As they approached the room, Batman was surprised by the cold that radiated form the entrance. Opening the door the source of all the cold and grief became visible to the group. Signal had to shield his eyes:

“What the hell!?!”

There it was, the High Ghost King of the Infinite Realms. A giant being, which had been so large they had to move to the observation platform to speak with it. Even then it towered over the heroes. It’s skin impossibly dark, with constellations spotting its tail & torso. The stars converging on its lower arms, making it look like it was wearing glowing white gloves, the same as a strange symbol on his chest that seemed important. The stars on its neck blending seamlessly with its hair, yet leaving its head completely dark aside from a few little spots on its face. The only facial feature they could make out where 2 Lazarus green eyes, focused on the new arrivals. On its hand, a ring with a skull on it that had freaked out the Lanterns. On its head a dark crown covered in patches of frost, and its own Aurora Borealis spreading from it. The room had already been partially covered in frost simply from the King’s aura. Power emanated from it, which had caused several members that had been dead and revived before to kneel on reflex, which was frightening even if they managed to get up on their own again.

Martian Manhunter had tried to peek in the Kings mind, hoping to find a way to convince the King to spare Batman, but he had been unsuccessful. As soon as he tried his knees buckled, and he had been pushed out. Ever since the Ghost King had radiated frustration. Now, as Batman entered wearing only his cowl and some spare pants, that frustration seemed to spike dangerously. Was the King upset he had been left to wait for his offer?

"What the fuck is this? I didn’t ask for a striptease, especially from some old Frootloop!”

“Constantine, what’s wrong? What is it saying?”

Batman was worried. He had not expected more anger from the being when presented with the offering. Looking at Constantine, he saw the magician frantically looking through the pages of his books, desperately looking for a translation.

“Hang on, mate. I’m doing my best here! Ehrm… no, that’s not right… Something about mating? Maybe he likes you, Bats. He also said something about “the absence of clothing” so…

Suddenly he is cut off by a strange sound coming from the Ghost King. It makes a strange motion with its body and its giant maw opens, as more of those sounds escape. It reminds Robin of Alfred the Cat when he has a hairball. However, there is more sound in the Watchtower now. The Red Hood is clutching his stomach as he is doubling down in laughter.

“HAHAHAHA!!! WHAT? HOW THE FUCK DID YOU TRANSLATE THAT BADLY? HOLY SHIT!”

The Ghost King stops making the noises, and it’s eyes snap to Red Hood. It moves it’s head closer to him, casually passing it through the barrier Constantine had put up. Constantine’s swears in surprise, but the King seems not to care as it “speaks” to Red Hood:

"Oh, thank the Acients! Someone who understands Ghost Speak! Can you PLEASE help me and translate for us? This trench coat guy is terrible, and somehow twists everything I say in the worst way!"

Red Hood relaxed, looking up at the Ghost King’s giant head.:

“Sure man, no problem. I’m pretty sure he is using like 3 different dictionaries to get this far. I saw him first translate Ghost to Pixie, Pixie to Gnome and Gnome to Demon before telling us in English! So, what’s up?”

Batman was stunned. The Ghost King actually face palmed. What the heck was going on?

"Of course he is. That explains why it sounds like he is putting this through Google Translate 4 times! These guys summoned me to save the Earth, which, totally cool. Happy to help! But a summons makes it official, which means I need to get an offering. I can’t leave without it or I face a mountain of paperwork from some stupid bureaucratic eyeballs for not following proper procedure. But I can always ask something simple and get it over with. No biggie, right? WRONG.”

Red Hood actually grabs a chair to sit on. Not even in a somewhat respectful way, he is sitting on it backwards, casually leaning on it.

“Oh, boy. How badly did they fuck up? Gotta be big since Batman over there is ready to be eaten?”

The King glares at Constantine, who puts up his bravest “time to out-bollock a Eldritch Demon” face. The King is not impressed:

"Man, I asked, and I quote: “I’d like to eat a regular human meal that doesn’t fight back, like that guy would eat!” I wanted it to be clear I didn’t want blood, or corpses or virgins or any of the other horrible things stupid cults try to give me! I just wanted a burger or something! But then Mr. triple dictionary over there somehow turns that into: ‘’I wish to feast on a non-magic, non-meta mortal human that will not resist being consumed, and it must be that one.” I’ll admit I was pointing at one of the non-supers, but that didn’t mean I wanted to eat him! I just wanted to make sure it was normal food, something that doesn’t fight back!”

Red Hood looked confused, asking if the King’s food usually fights back. The King rolls it’s eyes:

"In life, I lived with mad scientist parents who treated lab safety as a suggestion at best and a chore for teens at worst. Put enough samples in the fridge and you get a whole new type of Thanksgiving trauma. Dang, I’m getting even more hungry. I’d love some turkey right now. Could you get them to bring me some food? That way I can have my sacrifice and leave…”

Red Hood stands up. He asks if the King can wait a few more minutes, claiming that after all that frustration he deserved something better. Getting a nod from the Ghost King, the Red Hood suddenly shouted over the platform railing towards the waiting Leaguers:

“FLASH! Get your squad up here, and bring pen & paper! I got a job for y’all!”

Zooming up every member of the Flash family gets a list of things to get and a warning not to tell the Bats what’s on it, or Red Hood will shoot them in the knees. Looking at the lists, they quickly caught on what was going on and promised they wouldn’t tell. This was way too funny! Red Hood does a fake bow to the King, clearly amusing himself.

“Don’t worry, your Hungry-ness! Your sacrifice is being prepared! Anything else we can assist you with?”

The Ghost King seems to tilt its head in amusement. Whatever Hood was doing, it was working, which honestly was the only reason nobody had tackled him to the floor.

"Actually, if you could get that Frootloop to put on a shirt that would be great. He is shivering and honestly, I’m worried he’s going to poke someone’s eye out with a nipple. Why is he shirtless anyway? Please tell me he wasn’t actually trying to seduce me or something, he’s old enough to be my dad! Gross!”

This caused Red Hood to again double over in laughter. Everyone was confused, what could possibly be so funny in this situation? Constantine had frantically tried translating during their conversation, but it had gone too fast for him. He gave up when the King mentioned eyeballs and seduction, accepting he wouldn’t get anywhere like this. Batman however couldn’t resist his need to know everything anymore.

“Hood, report! How are you communicating with the entity?”

Red Hood turns to Batman, walks past him and towards Alfred, grabbing one of the cookies he had brought with him. As he walks back and hands it to the Ghost King, he starts to explain:

“Honestly, not sure. It feels instinctive, like a second mother-tongue. Pretty sure it’s some sort of “dead-guy-language” you learn when you die. Speaking off: Turns out Constantine is a VERY unreliable translator. Spooky here is actually pretty chill! He used you as an example to make sure we knew what he wanted, not to demand you as a sacrifice. He is in fact pretty ticked that you guys tried to feed B to him. Speaking of: Batman? Put a shirt on, for fucks sake. You look like you’re going to freeze your tits off.”

This earned a round of giggles from Green Lantern & Green Arrow. Now that the tension had left the room, other Leaguers also smiled in relief. Besides, it’s always fun to see Batman being the butt of a joke. Sure enough, Batman let out a frustrated sound, that got the rest of the Bats to join in on the fun. They understood that their dad in fact felt rather silly right now, which meant that they had more to gossip about soon. Constantine now was wondering what Hood was up to:

“Mate, I did my best! Sorry for not being fluent in every language in existence. What the hell did you send the Flash to get? The bloke is a scientist and denies magic when it’s right in front of ‘im! What could they possibly get that I couldn’t-”

At that moment, the Flashes zoom out of the Zeta tubes and zoom across the observation deck. After a few moments of red and yellow blurs, the deck is covered with tables filled front to back with food! Picking up a receipt that fell to the floor, Batman realizes this is take-out from all over the world. Seeing a puddle of Lazarus water grow on the floor, he looks up. The Ghost King is actually drooling! Red Hood steps aside and gestures to the feast:

“Welp! There is your sacrifice! One. And I also quote: “regular human meal that doesn’t fight back, like “that guy” would eat!” Well, more of a feast then a meal, but I’m sure a big guy like you can finish it, and you can always take home the rest I guess. Bon Appetit!”

Opening his giant maw, the Ghost King digs in. Well, as much as he can. He actually looks kind of silly eating everything with a tiny fork. Still, judging from the purring sound emanating through the Watchtower it’s to the Kings liking.

"DUDE, THIS IS SO GOOD? I need to know these restaurants! You want a bite for helping me out? You saved me SOOO much annoying paperwork, I was about to bail!”

Picking up a plate of karaage, Red Hood took of his helmet revealing a second mask underneath and dug in as well:

“Don’t mind if I do, this smells fantastic! Oh shit, you should try this stuff, it’s great!”

Red Hood being allowed to partake in the offering so casually caused Constantine to do a double take. He realizes he seriously misjudged this entity. Still, that didn’t explain the horrific stories about him. He would need to do some digging into that, maybe with Hood as a translator. For now he takes a swig of his drink. The world was saved, no one died or lost their Soul and he didn’t make any new enemies he thinks. Plus, Batman felt like an idiot, and that always made the Brit smile.

All in all a good day!

[iamacolor]

the community note under the post (and a quick google search) clearly states that this is fake (and this would not be the first time that a random account siding with Russia is trying to stir up shit with France - there have been several cyber attacks and campaigns - if you check the account the so-called source is a russian "translation" of an undated exchange between Macron and a woman in a street who can't be heard over the "translation" voice and there's no way to link back to the original video but this came out right after Macron declared that he wasn't against sending troups in Ukraine to fight off Russia )

also when it comes to how france deals with its colonial and imperial past, although french politics and institutions love to pretend like colonisation isn't a relevant topic today, they don't pretend it never happened, they'd rather say that it wasn't such a bad thing and actually helped develop countries or that it was a crime but it's over now and relationships between countries should move past that

I'm sorry what the fuck did you just say ??? This has to be fake.