#First question to his PA every morning: What day is today?!

[hubba1892]

It happened again! [x]

[bleucommelhiver]

look alive, ulric

nyx ulric week 2024 | day 3: teamwork RATING: T for language because it's Nyx and Pelna c'mon now WORDS: 1126 SUMMARY: On the day of the signing, the only people Nyx and Pelna can trust are each other.

The feeling of unease that’s been gnawing at the edge of Nyx’s consciousness since yesterday morning hasn’t let up. Today’s the big day. After today, he’ll put in a request for some much needed leave. Bring Crowe’s body back to Galahd, with Libertus if he’ll give him the time of fucking day, give her a proper burial. Check out the old haunts. Pay his respects to his lil’ sis and to pa. Finally see ma. Maybe you’d come along too.

He just needs to fucking get through today.

At least that’s what he keeps telling himself.

But as he makes his way past the crowds and barricades to the roundabout at the foot of the Citadel, the quietude of the day has him on high alert. Something deep in his gut is waiting for the metaphorical pin to drop.

The comm from command buzzes in his ear: “Niflheim contingent has left the hotel. Less than three hours until the ceremony. Bolster the Citadel Guard.”

Great. Looks like the circus is about to begin. Time to look alive, Ulric.

His comm buzzes again, this time it’s Luche on a private frequency. “Nyx, is the Princess with you?”

What kind of asinine question was that? Luche knows full well the captain’s relegated him to every form of grunt work since the last mission. Chaperoning the princess on the historic day of the signing was, apparently, out of the scope of his duties.

Nyx answers anyways, curious where Luche’s going with this. “No, I’m on duty at the Citadel.”

“Well, the Nifs just left for the ceremony. And she wasn't with them.”

The fuck? He was relieved from princess duty last night by Sonitus. Why’s Luche radioing him about it? The sense of unease in the pit of his stomach deepens.

It’s none of his business. He’s part of the Citadel Guard today, and all he needs to do is to get through today. It’s none of his fucking business, but his captain’s words echo in his head anyways: “Your orders are to protect her. Not to look, not to listen, not to think.”

Fuck.

Gods-fucking-dammit.

Nyx abandons his post and makes a beeline for his apartment. Along the way, he taps his comm, ready to test a theory.

“Hey Pelna, Luche says the Princess is missing.”

“No shit?” His surprised response comes quickly. “Today of all days. Real convenient.”

“Yeah, seems like the Nifs got us running about like rats.”

There’s a brief pause before he replies, “No shit.”

As Nyx rounds the corner to his apartment, his phone begins to buzz. He mutes his comm piece before picking up.

“Trust no one, huh, Nyx?”

“Figured if there’s anyone left in the Glaive that Crowe’s warned, it’d be you.”

“So, what’s the plan, hero? Off to rescue the princess all by yourself?”

“I got you, don’t I? The Robin to my Batman. Or would you be Alfred in this case?”

“Fuck off, asshole,” Pelna laughs. “How can I help?”

Nyx throws open the door to his apartment and grabs the watch from where he left it on his desk. Its face is displaying a steady 35:2720 and -13:0318 instead of the dance of numbers from earlier this morning.

“I’m running on a hunch here, but I’m going to send you some coordinates from Crowe’s watch. Can you pinpoint the location?”

“Yeah, hold on.” Nyx can hear the rapid-fire click of keys as Pelna logs in his credentials. As he inputs the coordinates, Pelna asks, “You hear from your other princess?”

Nyx sucks in a breath. “No. Not since yesterday.”

“My texts haven’t been getting through to her, thought you might know something about it.”

Nyx pauses. He was beginning to think that all his undelivered texts were some short of glitch with his phone: first Crowe, now you. Fuck, he doesn’t have time to dwell on this. It’s got to be a coincidence. You should be in Altissia now, far away and safe from whatever shitshow is taking place today. Regardless, you’re more than capable and he knows you’re fine. You have to be.

“Don’t worry about her Pels, she’s safe.”

“Right…” Pelna doesn’t sound too convinced, but Nyx doesn’t blame him, he’s not privy to your whereabouts. “It’s twenty miles south of Insomnia — outside the Wall. What the hell was Crowe doing way out there?”

“No, no, they sent her to—” Nyx catches himself. “I need another favor Pels, pull those coordinates up on the radar. What do you see?”

“Shit. There’s a whole fleet of airships sitting at that spot.”

“Niflheim.”

“Yeah, and from the looks of it, not the celebratory committee.”

Nyx runs a hand over his face in frustration. He should’ve known the armistice was bullshit; should’ve known the Nifs couldn’t be trusted. What’s the play now? If he alerts King Regis and mobilizes the troops, there’s a good chance the Nifs would catch whiff, especially if their ranks have truly been infiltrated. With the malcontent that’s been brewing from the protests on the streets to the soldiers in the barracks, he’s not confident any attempt at clandestine movements wouldn’t be immediately exposed.

So what? Does he just stay in the Crown City, pretend there isn’t a war fleet knocking at their door, and just…monitor the situation? Forget about the missing princess?

‘You’re not to look, not to listen, not to think,’ Captain Drautos’ words echo in his head again. Yeah, well, guess the King can count his lucky stars that he’s always been kind of shit at following orders.

Speaking of…

“Where’s the captain?”

“Should be on escort detail at the Citadel.”

Nyx doesn’t remember spotting the captain earlier. He scans the frequencies on his comm again, but it seems like their captain’s still AWOL.

At his silence, Pelna asks, “You thinking…?”

“Can’t be sure. Can’t rule it out either, but I need you to ready the Glaive for action.”

“What? You planning to deploy without the captain’s orders?”

“No.” Nyx dons his armor on over his uniform, pulling its zipper up and buckling its fasteners to secure the leather pauldrons in place. As he checks his weapons, he explains, “There’s no point bringing everyone along for a wild goose chase. As long as the Wall remains standing, their fleet has no way of reaching us, but if Crowe’s right, we need to be on alert for something inside the Walls.”

“You going dark?”

“Yeah, I’ll recon and assess. Low chance I won’t need to engage, but keep this to yourself for now. Give me an updated SITREP when you can.”

“Affirmative. I got your six.”

“Yeah. You always do, Pels.”

With that, Nyx ends the call and sets off.

Looks like getting through the day just got a lot more complicated.

NOTES: Please accept this excerpt from ch. 9 of Wayward Children as tribute, since as per usual, I've somehow deluded myself into thinking I'd be able to work on multiple pieces at once :)

[flanaganfilm]

Good morning/ evening! My name’s Sam and I’m currently a film student hoping to get into freelance writing. I’ve got a couple questions if you don’t mind (hoping you haven’t already answered them and I just missed them).

When you first starting making your own films, did you have already have thick skin for any critics/ bad reviews? Or is that something you grew over time?

Also, for your production company, do you hire interns and PAs or do you prefer filmmakers with more experience?

Thank you!

To your first question, I do not have a thick skin in that area AT ALL and never have. I don't know many people who do.

I'm often approached by fans who will talk about what a project of mine means to them, or I find a review or think piece online where the author really connected with my work. I want to let that feedback in, because it's validating. But letting it in means letting ALL of it in, even the negative. I don't really get to pick and choose. Once I decided to let myself react emotionally to other people's feedback, those gates are open I've got to accept whatever comes through.

I take my work very seriously, and tend to pour my heart and soul into it. We make these things because we love them. It can literally take years of daily work to do. When people love it, it feels great. When people don't, it hurts. There's really no way around that.

Film criticism has, like a lot of things, devolved over time. I was a massive fan of Robert Ebert, who was thoughtful and sophisticated in his critiques (most of the time), and tried to approach each movie he watched on the film's own terms - from the perspective of "how successful was this at achieving what it set out to do?" I see a lot of criticisms today that don't do this, and instead are lamenting what a movie is or isn't, saying things like "I wish this was more..." or "This isn't good because I wanted it to be something else."

"I wanted a ________ and what I got instead was ______ so it sucks."

The other issue is that loud, sensationalized vitriol gets more clicks. Negative reviews, especially brutal and callous ones, get more attention than positive ones. I've gotten to know and befriend some professional critics over the years, who have all told me that the positive reviews don't generate the audience reaction quite like the negative ones. People enjoy watching things get beat up. We reward the wrong kind of discourse, and that isn't unique to film criticism - it's everywhere. That's just a symptom of our culture.

One of my great frustrations is how we assert our opinion as objective truth. There's nothing more dangerous than tweeting "I liked ______ movie!" The comments flood in about how you're wrong, how it sucks, blah blah blah. People think their own taste is somehow factual. If someone says "I had a fantastic steak dinner last night and I loved it," we don't say "you're wrong, steak sucks". We understand the concept of taste when it comes to other things we consume, but when it comes to entertainment each one of us thinks we're the ultimate authority.

For myself, my producer and my wife have long discouraged me from reading reviews. I still can't help it. It's not healthy though. I can scroll past a dozen positive ones, and they evaporate in my mind, but I read one scathing thing and it sticks with me for days. There is one particular review of MIDNIGHT MASS that is one of the most baffling and frustrating things I've ever read, as the author appears to have misunderstood just about every aspect of the series, and drawn the angriest, most misguided, most erroneous conclusions. I read it with my jaw on the ground... "but they're objectively wrong. That isn't what happens, and that isn't what the show is even about." But what can I do? Who am I to say their experience of the show is invalid? They feel how they feel, and that's fine. That's okay. It has to be.

So your skin doesn't get thicker, it is a bizarre emotional experience to put something personal out there into the world and see the gamut of reactions. But at a certain point you have to remind yourself that it's impossible to please everyone, and that these projects don't belong to the filmmaker - they belong to the audience, and each and every one of those experiences is unique and valid. Perhaps there are lessons to be learned, and perhaps the critique can help you grow as a filmmaker.

I have similar feelings when I see someone trashing someone else's work I happen to love - for example, I remain baffled by people who didn't like EVERYTHING EVERYWHERE ALL AT ONCE, but that doesn't mean anything. It didn't work for them, that's all. Nothing works for everyone.

I have found over the years that I respect and appreciate analyses and criticisms that take this more personal point of view, and talk about their own interaction with the work as opposed to just dismissing it outright. When someone says "this movie didn't work for me," or "I didn't connect with it," or "It just wasn't my cup of tea," I have a much easier time taking it seriously. It's changed how I talk about my own reactions to movies or shows that I didn't respond to. And I found that it's made it much easier for me to enjoy things even if they aren't quite for me. Instead of being reactive and saying "it sucks" or "I hate this," I've gotten better at realizing it's not a binary experience - I can look at what DOES work for me, and I can appreciate it, even while other elements might not.

It makes for a much more nuanced discussion, and helps me grow. Sometimes, though, it's just the wrong thing to watch on the wrong day, and that's fine too. Maybe that makes it a little easier. If I step out of something and just really don't enjoy it, it helps remind me that it's not personal. Clearly, other people DO enjoy these things, sometimes I'm very much in the minority. And when that happens, I can say "oh, it's not so bad if someone hates a movie I made, or a show, or whatever. Life's too short."

But I long ago decided I'd never say anything negative about someone else's work in public. I know too much about what it takes to make a movie, and I'm not a critic. I'm a filmmaker. This town is too small, and there is zero upside in dragging another filmmaker's efforts. On the rare occasions when I do see another filmmaker indulge in that behavior, it is always a terrible look. And it can have real-world consequences - there are a few filmmakers who I've seen publicly slag off other people's work, and I quietly decided never to hire them. Like I said, it's a small town... and most of us read what people say about our work.

We should get back to that work, remember how lucky we all are to do this for a living, and leave that kind of thing to the critics.

[leviathansshadycorner]

Rope Him In ( Cato x District 10! Reader x slight! Marvel) Pt. 7

Summary: Interview

A/n: Sorry for any inconsistencies and spelling errors, enjoyyyyyy!

Pt.6Pt.5 Pt.4 Pt.3 Pt.2 Pt.1

____________________________________

Chapter 7: Interview

The games were Tomorrow. Today was your last day of peace and possibly life. Most of the time today was supposed to be spent preparing for the interview, however, Dolly and Rasmey gave you two or three hours of bliss before having to prepare. 

You were positive Buckley was out in the rose garden with Dolly. It was only natural for him to want to be outside instead of cooped in like you. Ramsey had come in to check on you twice but eventually stopped when he assumed you were sleeping. In reality, you were crying. Crying the whole two hours mourning the fact that you’d never get to see the faces of your family again. 

You remembered Amaranto and how the two of you would’ve been having breakfast together at this time. Or how you would have packed your Pa a lunch to take to work. You thought about those Sunday afternoons spent sitting on the dry grass with a blanket, just the three of you talking about life and reminiscing about your mother, occasionally eating something special when they’d work overtime. 

You thought about the times you spent with Clarabell in the angry rivers, scared out of your mind that a peacekeeper would come and hurt you both, but having so much fun in the water that you forgot that they even existed in the first place. 

Your mind went to Buckley. It was crazy how you went from greeting each other in the morning at school to being with each other every day. He looked out of place in the Capitol, and so did you. It was odd seeing someone from home on the screen, but you guessed that’s how he felt about you too. The two of you had grown closer than you would have ever at home. That’s when you started realizing that you should’ve appreciated everything you had at home instead of slowly isolating yourself as you grew up. 

Wiping the snot from your nose you decided to get up and wash your face. The clock read 12, and that meant it was time for your mentors to get you interview-ready. The actual interview itself was to start at 6 pm. However, you still had to practice your speech and what you were going to say to several different questions. The whole point was to make you appealing to not only the sponsors but the Capitol as a whole. After all, the sooner the tributes get used to the Capitol’s mannerisms, the better the victor will adapt. 

“Alright, let's try this again.” It had been thirteen minutes and Pradain was still struggling to get you to sit up straight. 

“Come on, we started an hour ago, I’m sure they can learn how to sit up straight later. What’s important is that we get them to speak clearly and with charm.” Dolly protested as Pradain pressed a hand to your back to get you upright. 

Pradain’s outfit consisted of satin gloves, and a matching dress that towered to his ankles, his feet adorned with five-inch  platforms. It was beyond you how he had learned to walk in those. 

“Don’t be ridiculous Dolly, this is a must when it comes to Capitol mannerisms. Now up!” Groaning you forcefully sat up, your shoulders still drooping.

“Ah! See- I thought you were shaped weird, but you’re just not lifting your shoulders.” He clasped his hands onto them, bringing them up and fixing your head’s posture. “See? That wasn’t too bad. Now let’s do it again.” He instructed, 

You looked over at Buckley- who had a scarf tied around him and the chair, propping him up straight. “I think I got it.” The poor boy pleaded to be untied. 

“You stay. And you,” He pointed at you, “Up!” 

Ramsey rolled his eyes. “Alright well, I’m just gonna go ahead and start reading these questions. Ramsey was already dressed in his suit claiming that he didn’t want to put it on later, so he decided to put it on now. 

He shuffled through some cards with common interview questions. “Alright, Buck-o this one’s for you. How would you describe home?” 

Buckley perked up, “Easy- Home is-” 

“AH! This isn’t a test, it's an interview. Tell them why you like home, what makes it special. Start with, ‘Well, home to me is-’” Pradain scolded Buckley. 

“Right, ok.” He nodded and looked at Ramsey to reread the card. 

“How would you describe home?” You looked over at Dolly, your face bored and uninterested. She noticed it and ushered you to pay attention to Buckley, sitting up straight which reminded you to sit up as well. Your back was on fire, you always thought you had an okay posture, but only now knew that it was too forward leaning. 

“Home to me is..” He stopped to think, his nose twitching as he was lost in thought, “Home to me is the yellow sunset, the dirt on my boots after a long day of work, the voices of my siblings arguing over a small toy, the pretty girls fluttering their eyelashes at me, the way their hair falls on their shoulders, and how round their-” 

“Okay, no stop- you’re getting distracted.” You laughed at Buckley’s response, starting nicely but going off-topic. 

“Alright then, at least you’ll make them laugh. You’ve got a good voice too Buckley, nice start.” Dolly tried making the best of things. 

“Same Question for you (Y/n). How would you describe home?” Ramsey put the cards down, his tired eyes looking at you as he waited for your response. 

“Any time now.” Spoke up Pradain. 

“Home to me is…Home to me is.” There was about a three-second pause, “My Brother. My Pa. Our little house by the wheat fields, and the river that runs through 10.” It wasn’t much, but it’s all that could come to mind. 

“That’s a start.” Dolly smiled. 

“We need you to say more, and don’t be afraid to get emotional, the Capitol loves that. They eat it up.” Ramsey crossed his legs. “We’re gonna have a long day.” He sighed. 

4 pm came quicker than anticipated. In the period you’d been practicing you were able to learn to project your voice, and Buckley learned how to be quieter. The two of you learned some fancy words, though you doubted you’d use them in a genuine sentence. 

Sashay and the rest of the stylists waited for you down at the stylist quarters where you were ready to get replucked like a chicken. It didn’t hurt as much as the first time, but the stinging feeling was still there. After you got bathed, they began working on your hair. Its (H/c) color being amplified and made brighter as they put some chemicals on it. It smelled foul, far worse than the cow poop at home. 

Your nails were painted black and white, You mentally groaned knowing where this was going. When your hair was finally dried they worked to braid it, putting some turquoise accessories on you before handing you to Sashay. 

She smiled brightly at you and kissed your cheek, “My my don’t you look beautiful.” She complimented taking your hand and leading you to the hanger where a long sleek cow print dress hung. It looked to have fur on it, and you assumed it’d come from home. 

“You’re going to look amazing.” She said excitedly as she instructed you to take your robe off. Sashay herself was dressed in all black, contrasting with what Dolly was wearing- white. You assumed the whole theme surrounding 10 would be cow print, and you were right. She helped you put the dress on, making some adjustments while it was on you so it would hug your figure better. It draped down longer on one end, the other end having a slit and exposing much of your leg. Below you wore some high-heeled boots that you thought looked ridiculous, but Sashay seemed enamored by them. She adjusted a belt on your hips- also containing hints of turquoise, and finally a necklace on you, tying the look together. 

“Oh!” She sighed clasping her hands together, “(Y/n), when you go home I guarantee you every man will want your hand in marriage.” She cooed as she circled you. “Perfect, now all we need is makeup.” The lady sat you down for another hour and a half of makeup application. You liked Sashay, she was more level-headed than Pradain and had such eloquence to her, however, the mix of having to speak in front of millions, and the games being tomorrow was not settling in right. Ramsey had to ask Pradain for a pill that would calm down your stomach. 

Sashay was escorting you out to the backstage area where Dolly and Ramsey were waiting. Ramsey was wearing black, Pradain opting to wear white, both of them sticking to the theme Pradain and Sashay had planned. You looked around for Buckley but he was nowhere in sight. 

“Wow.” Ramsey let out a long whistle, “You do not look like yourself at all.” He said admiring Sashay’s work. 

“(Y/n), you look stunning.” Dolly’s mouth was agape as she went to hold your arm and observe you. Your hair had been taken out of the braids, leaving behind curls in its place. 

“I can’t walk in these.” You whispered to her frantically. You didn’t want to fall on stage, but that seemed like something that would happen in your near future. 

She laughed, her smokey eyes closing making it look like she had hollowed eyes, “It’ll be fine, just try not to think about it.” She assured you. 

The stage was light as people began to flood the venue. There were stagehands all over the place, getting things set and ready. More tributes flowed in, you shrank back when you realized how extra Sashay had been with your interview gown since the others looked to be more playful and simple. People kept staring at you as they walked in, and that was a bad thing in your book. Eventually, Buckley came in. His stylist next to him as they chatted about god knows what. When he spotted you he froze slightly, keeping his gaze on you as they made their way to the group.

His hair was slicked back, his face looking more square but in a good way. He had some makeup on, but it was only to even out his tone, his freckles had been redrawn over his real ones since the base of his makeup had covered them. He wore a black suit, with hints of cow print on the inner side and flaps that poked out towards the neck of the suit. His boots matched yours, and he had a belt as big as one of the screens on. The two of you looked like you ran some sort of Texan Casino. 

“(Y/n), You look beautiful.” He complimented, his hands taking yours as he made you spin. “I almost didn’t recognize you.”  He said light-heartedly. 

Buckley’s attention made you flustered and you felt the room get warmer, “I could say the same,” You smiled, “Have you seen your hair?” You asked carefully, poking his gel-held hair. 

“Alright well, we’ll be out in the front row. Look for us alright?” Sashay excused herself and Pradain, leaving the two of you with Dolly and Rasmey. 

“They’re gonna line you up again, two lines- boys and girls.” Ramsey explained, “There’s a screen back here so y’all can watch but don’t miss your cue alright?” He ordered. The two of you nodded. 

“(Y/n), remember what we went over alright?” Dolly caught your gaze. 

Previously you’d spent time with Dolly going over some things you could do to emphasize your image as the Capitol’s cowgirl. Dolly had instructed you to speak with more southern twang than usual, keep a smile and hospitable personality, and speak on the livestock and ‘ranch life’ back at home. All things that would make a District 10 resident roll their eyes, but a Capitol citizen clap and shout. Unfortunately for you, you knew that this whole act would blow up in your face. You wouldn’t get taken seriously by the tributes, and if the small chance of you winning existed, you’d have to keep up the stereotype. 

Your mentors left you to take their seats. There was about an hour until show time, and some makeup artists stuck back to touch up some of the tributes. You and Buckley paced around the backstage, practicing lines with each other, and working on pronunciation. You hadn’t even noticed that the careers had flowed in. Glimmer was wearing a pink poofy dress, far too short for her. The only thing that distracted from her body was her giant blonde hair that cascaded perfectly, but even then she wore body glitter that made her shine. Clove on the other hand wore an orange dress and a hairdo that puffed the top part of her hair up. The two looked at you and laughed, making it obvious that they were laughing at your gown. You couldn’t blame them though. You would’ve laughed at yourself too. Buckley defensively went to stand in front of you to block their view, but it didn’t do much since they’d have to walk past you anyway. 

Behind them came Marvel and Cato. Both their faces were serious as always as they discussed something about weapon quality. You paid no mind to them, knowing that if you did they’d find a way to cause a scene. You weren’t sure why you were their favorite tribute to a bug, but you blamed it all on your stunt on your first day here. As they walked closer Marvel patted Cato on his chest, and the taller male turned to look at where you were standing. 

“Damn, never knew the girls from District 10 could look like that,” Cato said as they walked past the two of you, pretending to be nonchalant although you knew he had purposely said it. 

“Nice dress 10,” Marvel said, eyeing you as he trailed behind Cato. The two of them shook their heads and laughed as they approached the front of the line. 

“If I were a career I think I’d go after those two first.” You told Buckley who gave you an amused smile. 

“If you were a career you’d be with them.” He corrected. It wasn’t far from the truth. In almost every game, the careers were quick to form alliances with each other, alienating the weak from the strong. 

“You ready for the spotlight?” Talking was something you’ve come to realize that you did when you were nervous. Your hand practically shook, and you wore a nervous smile on your face. It was involuntarily there, however as much as you tried you couldn’t get rid of it. 

“No.” His simple reply. “Not too thrilled about it.” He exhaled. He had been holding a straight posture, his shoulders up, turtling his neck. 

“They’ll love you.” You reassured, but it only made him smile, his nerves still present.

 “Just don’t want to be laughed at.” He mentioned. 

The lights were beginning to flicker, meaning that it would soon be time for the show to start. 

You thought about what he had said. “Trust me. No one’s going to laugh at you.” Dolly and you had trained for your interview. Everything you were instructed to say made you look like a country bumpkin. If anything Buckley would be District 10’s saving grace- and you its fool. 

“Wow. You look beautiful.” Came the voice of District 12’s Katniss. It sounded rehearsed, void of any emotion. The same went for the smile she threw at you. 

You returned it and bowed your head. “Please, you’re the one who deserves such praise.” You guessed she was only saying that because her mentors wanted her to make allies in the arena since her high score presented a problem. 

That was the entirety of the exchange. The stage managers lined everyone up in order of appearance, hushing them as the presentation started. Once again you found the insides of your palms to be sweaty. You tried everything to ease your beating heart, deep breaths, pinching yourself, thinking of other things. However, none of them got rid of the sensation in your stomach. You felt like throwing up. 

Up on the screen Caesar Flickerman’s silhouette appeared, his signature ponytail obnoxiously hanging from his head as he leaned back on the chair. His theme song played, the bass so loud you could feel the floor rumbling. Cheers from the crowd erupted. Buckley stood attentive, watching the screen with his hands on his belt, his stance wide to keep himself in balance. From where you stood you could see Marvel and Cato hyping each other up, Glimmer joining in to fix Cato’s neat suit. 

“Let’s bring her out!” It had been a good couple of minutes, though it seemed like seconds as Caesar called out for Glimmer. She was the first one to go. Leaving about 19 people ahead of you. You watched as her clear, shimmery dress bounced as she stepped onto the stage with a huge smile, waving to the crowd. Her hair effortlessly dropped into place, making her look all the more attractive. The crowds were loud. Your eardrums could only handle so much before you reached out to cover them. 

Eventually, it was Marvel’s turn. He seemed so confident in everything he said, you learned just how charismatic he could be. Clove went next, her interview only made you more cautious of her. Soon after it was Cato’s turn. Unlike Marvel, he gave off boisterous energy. Almost as if he was too good to be there. However, the crowd was eating it up. He ended his interview with a hollar and returned backstage. It was almost the two-hour mark, some interviews taking longer since he wanted to give the tributes who didn’t stand out some limelight. Eventually, it was your turn. 

The stage manager came back to look for you, their hand on your shoulder as they walked you up the stairs. You glanced back to catch the reassuring gaze of Buckley, but instead found Marvel’s. He gave you a wink as a token of good luck, and off you were. 

“Now I’m sure we all remember our next tribute from the tribute parade. I mean how could we forget after the thrilling act she performed!” Flickerman emphasized his words, stretching them at the appropriate time. 

A couple of ‘woos’ and whistles came from the crowd as the anticipation built up. “From district 10- (Y/n) Cuernos!” He announced your cue to cross the stage. The lights were extremely bright, you had to look down as you stepped onto the stage. The crowd cheered at your out-of-place attire, it being one of the most unique (and ridiculous) outfits of the night. Shyly you put on your best smile before catching a glimpse of Dolly in the crowd, making gestures for you to smile bigger. 

You cringed when you thought of your family back at home watching this. Saying a silent apology, it was as if a switch turned on in your brain. Suddenly, your teeth shone as you stretched your lips into a smile, fluttering the huge eyelashes your makeup team glued onto you. With a hand on your hip, the other one waving, you swayed like you saw glimmer doing, your dress’ fabric swishing in the gap your legs left as you strode. 

“(Y/n)! My, my, how you clean up!” Flickerman commented, standing to greet you. 

“Thank you, Caesar.” Your eye nearly twitched at the forced southern twang in your voice. It was a whole lot more than Buckley, who had a natural southern accent, you had close to nothing of an accent. Even when it did slip, it sounded nothing like this. “My stylist purtied me up didn’t they?” 

He looked to the crowd, “Indeed they did.” He motioned for you to sit. 

It helped that the stage lights practically blinded you. You could see that people were sitting in the stands, but you weren’t able to make out distinct features- save for the front row where the mentors sat. 

Remembering what Dolly had told you, you sat up straight, teeth-baring into a cheesy smile. 

“Did that print you’re wearing come from a cow you raised?” The presenter’s teeth glinted in the light as the crowd erupted in laughter, “Oh! ‘course not- just inspired by them.” You giggled back, hating yourself even more. Your heart was beating hoping the president would accept your performance. 

Flickerman adjusted himself in his seat, “Now, I was going to leave this question for last- but I just know the audience has been anticipating the answer, am I right?” He turned to the audience who were cheering blindly. 

Like a doll in a box you smiled stationary, waiting for him to ask the question, but of course, he needed to prolong it for suspense. “What was going through your mind when you rode that steed?” There were some woo’s from the crowd, and you watched yourself on the screen as they replayed the moment. That clip gave you an ego boost each time you saw it. Giggling a bit too nervously you shook your head. “Nothing.” That earned a laugh from the audience. “I just remember wanting to ride it- couldn’t help myself I guess.” You gave a small shrug. 

“What a wildflower this one is.” Caesar made some amused faces. 

The interview lasted for another couple of questions, he seemed to have a lot for you. He asked you about home life, your loved ones, Buckley, and about skills. You didn’t have as many questions as the careers, but it was more than District 8’s tributes who had the least. 

“And do you have a strategy to win the games?” His tone was more serious now. 

Here it was. Your closing line. The one that took you and Dolly two seconds to come up with, but would echo in the minds of the audience. 

“I’m from District 10. I’m a born and bred cowgirl. I have to win. ” 

Cato couldn't help but smirk at your response, crossing his arms and leaning on the wall, he watched with attentive eyes as your interview continued.

His open mouth smile followed by “woah woah woah!” made the stadium rumble. You smiled and waved out to the crowd, Dolly giving you a thumbs up. 

“That’s an ambitious statement! I love it!” He did a little kick, “Well, you go out there and rope them in (Y/n) Cuernos! District 10’s very own cowgirl!” 

If only you could see Cato’s pissed-off face next to Marvel’s smug one. 

As you walked backstage again you were greeted with a bone-crushing hug from your fellow tribute. “Hey, that was good! Though you were a little strong on the accent.” Buckley patted your back. 

“Yeah, I had no idea you had one.” Glimmer teased as she and the other careers leaned against the wall. “Stop trying to win them over, I’m already the Capitol’s sweetheart.” The tall girl crossed her arms, the jewels in her dress reflecting. 

Marvel came around you, making space between you and Buckley who knew better than to cause a scene. “Did they make you skin that cow yourself?” His fingers scraped the waist of your dress, he let out an “O” when he realized it was just fabric. 

Cato gave him a look, causing him to back off. “You have to win huh? How do you think you’re going to do that?” 

“Don’t worry about it.” You refused to look at him. 

“Oh, I’m not worried. You see if anyone should be worried about you.” He sneered, his gaze getting darker. “Save yourself the disappointment, enjoy your time in the Capitol, and accept your fate. I’m winning this one.” 

“As if.” Clove rolled her eyes. 

Buckley and you both stared down Cato. 

He snickered, “And don’t go around thinking your friend here is going to help you. If you’ve been doing your research you know that there’s no such thing as friends in the arena.” 

That irked Buckley, “So who’s to say your little posse won’t turn on you and gang up on you in the arena?” 

“Pft, then let’s hope they can outrun me.” His response made the careers shift uncomfortably.

“We knew what we were doing when we signed up.” Marvel spoke up,” It’s our job to ween off the weak ones, so the strongest can prevail.” He said looking at you. 

“So is that what Cato’s going to do to you?” You didn’t mean for it to be a comeback. It just came out that way. The careers looked pissed now, but a stage manager came just in time to lead them back to their mentors. 

“Watch it 10.” Cato’s wild grin didn’t deter you, you continued to stare him down.  

Just like that, your time at the Capitol was coming to an end.

____________________________________

Tags: @randomgurl2326

[amane-by-together]

school bag || teru minamoto

genre: fluff

pairing: teru minamoto x fem! reader

summary: in which teru and [name] went on a lunch date before classes start

author's note: based on the true story and my offering to the gods to bring back teru bc i miss him :') idc if u hate him ya all can unfollow me for liking him 😗💅

[Name] placed a hand on her cheek while twirling her pen as she listened to her teacher’s lecture. She crossed her legs, letting out a small sigh from her lips. All her teacher’s words start to sound slow and blurry because of how tired [Name] is—despite the morning sun, she still feels sleepy. [Name] was in verge of zoning out until she heard the school’s speaker’s announcement.

“Attention to all teachers, we will be having a meeting around 9:00 AM. All classes will be dismissed for today, students are now allowed to leave and come back after lunch, thank you.”

There was silence, then all of a sudden, majority of the class started to cheer at the early cancellation of the class. [Name] whispered a small ‘yes’ under her breath now that she can go home and do the things that she wanted to do. “[Name]-chan, are you going straight to home?” Yashiro asked as she already wore her school bag. “Or do you have other plans?”

“I can’t stay at school to clean Hanako’s bathroom since I’ll get shoo-ed off by teachers since the PA system deadass said that all students are allowed to leave.” [Name] explained, pretending to be sad that she won’t be able clean the bathroom for today, she’s sure that Hanako will understand unless he needed an explanation.

“Aren’t you supposed to borrow a book from the library?” Yashiro tilted her head in confusion. [Name] blinked for a couple of seconds, then putting a hand under her chin to think about it, and realizing that she needed to borrow a book from the library.

“Fuck—! It’s supposed to be my free day!” [Name] cussed.

“[Surname]-san, mind your language.”

“Sorry Sensei.” [Name] apologized before grabbing her bag from the side of her table. “I gotta go now Yashiro, you go ahead and go home—stay safe.” [Name] quickly told Yashiro as she quickly went to the library to borrow a book, which is about Rocket Science, something that she had been interested in after she took the key with a rocket keychain from the doors that lead to nowhere and everywhere.

[Name] ran to the library and went to the receptionist to ask for books related to Rocket Science. “Hmmm, I’m afraid that you needed to go to the old building department, most of the books are there. The library is still under renovation so until then, you have to go to the library by the other building.”

“Thank you…” [Name] bowed slightly. She opened the door and let out a frustrated sigh that she had to walk her way to the old building which is like a six minute walk since you have to cross the courtyard before reaching there. [Name] clutched her bag, trudging her way to the old building department. “Do I really have to go to the other building? Can’t they just comb through every bookshelf to get a damn book. Goddamn it.”

“[Surname]-san?”

[Name] flinched, thinking that it’s probably one of the student council patroling the hallways and that they caught her saying a cuss word, but it’s weird because every student should be home right now, unless? [Name] turned around to see Teru waving his hand with a kind smile on his face. “Minamoto-senpai? Eyow, what you doing here?”

“I was with my friends but then I spotted you from afar so I decided to excuse myself and stop by and say hi.” Teru explained while scratching his cheek sheepishly. [Name] nodded at his response, she doesn’t seem to mind it if her seniors approach her and it’s like a normal thing for her. “By the way, why are you heading to the old building department?” Teru bounced back the question to her.

[Name] explained to Teru that she needed to borrow a book from the library so she first went to the newly established library to the new building but they lacked source materials and they are currently under renovation and that she was recommended to go check by the old building. “But it’s tiring to go there to be honest. You should probably head home by now, I bet Kou-kun is worried sick right now.”

“Don’t worry, I told him that I will be going home soon.” Teru reassured [Name]. “Are you heading home after getting your book?” Teru bent down a little to take a better look at [Name] since she was shorter than him, which he thinks it’s cute, as they start to walk their way to the old building.

“I mean since we have to go back after lunch, I guess I could stay home for a little bit.” [Name] shrugged in reply. She and Teru already established the friendship level after that late night incident where they both encountered each other in front of the convenience store and talked about themselves while making candy by the park. “It’ll be boring if I stay in school for three hours waiting for my classmates to come back.”

Teru stopped walking which made [Name] halt as well. She turned to look at the blonde haired male next to her. “Is there something up, Minamoto-senpai?” [Name] asked, getting slightly concerned as to why he randomly stood still. Teru needed to tell his true intentions as to why he approached [Name] in the first place and this is only his one in a million chance to do so before it won’t happen again.

“I can come with you to get your book…” Teru reached over to scratch the back of his head. [Name]’s eyes widened a bit as a small blush appeared on her cheeks. Teru gulped, looking away from [Name] as he continued. “And if you don’t mind, wanna go out and eat lunch together? Just the two of us?” This sounded more like Teru is asking her out on a date—and out of all girls, he just asked [Name] and it shocked her.

Yashiro will be needing all the details of their date if [Name] agreed to come with Teru. Aoi will be happy for [Name] because first, the most popular guy in school asked her friend out on a date, and second of all she’s a sucker for romance like Yashiro. [Name] cleared her throat to cut herself from her train of thought, thinking about possible ways to avoid this scenario because she felt guilty if she were to accept his offer and there’s like a hundred of fangirls who wanted to be in her shoes.

“But like, I don’t think I have any money left if we were to go out to eat lunch since this is for school purposes.” [Name] winced. “Plus I owe you one for helping me from that creepy guy on the convenience store and even paid for my things.”

“I never said you will be paying for this one.”

[Name] was caught off guard. “Ha? No way—you’re serious? You’re going to treat me lunch…?” Teru stiffled a laugh at her reaction, nodding that he was serious about it and that he was not bluffing. There was wind that passed by which carried the strands of [Name]’s hair a bit as she smiled at Teru. “Alright then—but make sure it won’t be far.”

“We’re just going to a nearby fast food restaurant, don’t worry.”

“Okay, now let’s go to the library to claim my book, then we can head to the fast food restaurant to eat lunch and if we have time left, we should go to the library to stay for a while, I have a quiz later.” [Name] slumped her shoulders with a sluggish laugh, if only the whole day was cancelled but they have to come back after lunch to continue classes.

Teru laughed as well. “I’m sure you’ll do well later.”

“Thanks.” [Name] gave him a closed eye grin. Teru’s heart skipped a beat. For the record, he was quite nervous considering that this situation looked like a date rather than a hang out as he wished to engrave in his mind. He was the one with the lack of experience and [Name] went through a few dates with Souho back when they were still together.

“Is your bag heavy?” Teru asked while pointing at the bag that [Name] is carrying.

“Well—it’s heavy not gonna lie.” [Name] showed her school bag.

Teru held out his hand. “I’ll carry it for you.” [Name]’s heart is definitely doing flips of joy right now because she’s experiencing every fangirl with a heavy bag’s lifelong dream which is for someone to carry their bag. And this type of stuffs happen in romance animes and kdramas. She gave her bag to Teru for him to carry as they entered the old building department.

They went for the second floor since that’s where the entrance of the library is located. [Name] had a quick flashback about her discovering the 4PM Bookstacks in order to find out Hanako without having to ask him about it. “Minamoto-senpai, is it okay if I go ahead? You can wait for me here.”

“Sure, I’ll be waiting outside.” Teru told her. [Name] entered the library to borrow a book while Teru, on the other hand, was strolling around the area checking his phone every ten seconds. [Name] went outside with a big smile on her face, waving the book at Teru. “You’re quick, [Surname]-san.” He praised.

“Yeah finally—since I’m the only one in line anyways.” [Name] sighed in relief.

“Then, shall we go?” Teru gestured to the other direction which leads to the exit of the old building. [Name] nodded in agreement since she was getting hungry. The two went outside the gates of the Academy on their way to a nearby fast food restaurant. “So…have you ever been on a date?”

“Hmm, yeah I had.” [Name] replied. “But it was with my ex for the first three dates—then a movie date from a certain guy, how about you?” Teru sweatdropped, must be nice to be in a date, he was always busy with student council work and exorcism to the point that he almost had no time for himself and that’s why he’s missing out a lot.

“I never been to a date…” Teru embarrassingly admitted. “Unless you consider what we are doing is going on a date.” He mumbled—but [Name] heard him loud and clear.

“So, is this a date then?” [Name] leaned forward with a slightly teasing smile on her face.

Teru inched away with an obvious blush on his face. “Maybe?”

[Name] giggled. “Let this be your first one.” Teru may be calm right now but he’s feeling butterflies and his cheeks warming up so he covered that up with a soft smile on his face. When they arrived at the fast food restaurant, they placed their things on the table and sat down.

“I’ll order for us.” Teru gave [Name] a quick wave before he went to the counter to order their food. [Name] pulled out her phone to play some games to pass the time, until she made a big mistake by turning to her side. It was an old lady, but she was familiar because she lived in [Name]’s neighborhood. [Name] internally panicked so she quickly disguised herself so that the old lady won’t recognize her.

‘I didn’t expect her to be here! I’ll be fucked up if that old lady recognized me and she will tell my mom that she spotted me on a date and then she’ll question me as to why I didn’t tell her and I’ll be doomed for eternity, the thing with Souho is already a high blow for her what more if I’m eating lunch with my senior.’

“I’m back~!” Teru cheerfully sat down next to her after placing down their order which is weird, isn’t he supposed to be sitting in front of her, but it’s fine anyways at least he’s covering her from the old lady’s vision. “Are you okay [Surname]-san? You seem to be paranoid.”

“Oh, don’t worry—I’m just letting my guard up, who knows some student from Kamome Academy might spot us and create an issue about us and that ‘Minamoto-senpai’s crush is from the Astronomy Club’ is gonna happen again.” [Name] explained, half of them is true but she’s more worried about the old lady by the neighboring table. [Name] gestured Teru to come closer to whisper something to him. “There’s an old lady next to us and she’s quite familiar and that’s why I’m hiding.”

Teru glanced to his side, then turned to look at [Name]. “[Surname]-san, the table next to us is empty.” He simply said.

“Eyow—what the fuck?!” [Name] blinked once she saw that the old lady that was on the other table was now gone like a popped bubble. “I swear, she was there before!” [Name] tried to explain. Teru only chuckled at her panicked attitude which he found it adorable.

“Maybe you’re seeing things that I can’t see~” Teru cooed.

“Whatever, at least I don’t have to hide anymore.” [Name] took a scoop of her ice cream and ate it gratefully. Teru chuckled as he started to eat his food. [Name] and Teru had a couple of conversations during lunch until they finished up their food. “Waaah—I feel so full.” [Name] remarked while stretching her limbs.

“[Surname]-san, look at me.”

[Name]’s heart was about to leap out from her chest at the sudden command. Teru tilted his head on the side as he leaned in to take a closer look at her. [Name] quickly whipped her head away from Teru as she proceeded to wipe her lips. “Let’s go back now.” So [Name] and Teru took their belongings as they walked back to Kamome Academy and they’re just in time because students are just entering the school.

Teru was still carrying [Name]’s bag, this is starting to look like the two of them are going out but then again nobody cared as they continued heading to their classes. [Name] and Teru chuckled at their oblivion as they headed to the library to review for their upcoming lessons. “[Surname]-san, if you’re going to study, put away your phone.” Teru smiled as he tried to take [Name]’s phone.

“Ehhh, I need my phone.”

“Do you really need your phone in a daily basis.”

“Of course—!”

Teru covered his mouth to chuckle. “You’re really cute, [Surname]-san.” [Name] tried to tell him not to blurt out cheesy words because she is easily flustered but then Teru proceeded to tease her because of it.

“Minamoto-senpai…I swear…” [Name] covered her face with her palms.

“Which reminds me, I have to go back to the Student Council room, I’m sure the others are there by now.” Teru stood up from his chair but then [Name] grabbed his sleeve. He slowly turned to look at [Name], who was now smiling shyly at him. “[Surname]-san?”

“Can you stay here for a little bit? I mean—don’t go, my classmates aren’t even here yet.” Teru’s heart skipped a beat, [Name] looked so adorable begging him not to go, not what you think of course. This school crush of his is making his feelings go haywire because out of all girls in Kamome Academy, why does he have to be crushing on [Name]?

Teru couldn’t simply say no, so he obliged. “Why not come with me to the Student Council room, you can stay there as long as you like.”

“I mean, sure.” [Name] agreed. The two teens went downstairs to the first floor to exit the library, and Teru is still carrying [Name]’s bag. Along the way, they chatted for a while that is until when [Name] reached for the door, Akane was there to reach for it too. “Tomato Head?!”

“Aoi-kun?—“ Teru added with a hint of confusion as to why the Vice President of the Student Council is right in front of them. Akane stared at them, trying to connect the dots as to why the two of them are together.

Akane coughed, gesturing to at the bag that Teru’s carrying. “So it’s [Surname]-san, huh President?”

“It’s not what it looks like—!” [Name] tried to explain the situation. “He’s just carrying my bag because it’s heavy!”

“Then why are you two together?”

“Because we had lunch together.” Teru smiled forcefully. “Now Aoi-kun, meet me back in the Student Council room and we’ll have a nice discussion about it.” Teru threatened Akane, then he switched the mood by smiling as he gave the bag back to [Name]. “By the way [Surname]-san, thank you for today—good luck on your quiz later~”

“Thanks~!”

omake:

“Have you heard? That if you carried someone’s bag, you’ll end up with that person for the rest of your life…at least that’s what I heard.” Aoi told the girls the week after [Name] and Teru had lunch together. Many students have been carrying each other’s bags, mostly the girls wanted the boys to carry their heavy bags. “I wonder who started the rumor…”

[Name] flinched. “Bruh—Minamoto-senpai just carried my bag and now everyone’s doing it? What the actual crumbs—?”

[vodika-vibes]

Fox can’t resist PA we all knew that 😏

He can not. He's a little pathetic when it comes to them. But that's okay because every strong man needs someone they're a little pathetic about.

It must be a kind of funny thing to see, Fox decides after the first few interviewees look between him and Yuu in absolute bewilderment. Yuu, after all, it tiny. The top of their head reaches his collar bone, and he knows they come by it honestly because Yuu's dad barely comes up to his chin. They're just a petite family. But with Yuu sitting on his knees and dealing with the majority of the interviewing, he has to wonder if the men and women that are being interviews think that Yuu is their boss rather than him. Stars, he hopes so. He doesn't need more people to manage. "What do you think, little bird? Anyone catch your eye?" Fox asks during a short break while they wait for the next batch of applicants to arrive. "Mm. They're all very...young." They say slowly. Fox releases a laugh, "Says the person who became the most influential person on Coruscant when they were 18." "Yeah, but..." There's a line between their brows, "My job isn't dangerous, all things considered. This is." Fox reaches up and lightly rubs the line off of their brow with his thumb, "It's not like they're going to be out there on their own. They're going to be working with some of my brothers." "...Mm...that's true..." Yuu pauses, "Honestly, I'm more concerned by the fact that not a single one of them has questioned that I'm the one doing the interviews." Fox grimaces, "I don't mind if they think you're in charge, because you are. I answer directly to you and no one else, but-" "But there's a difference to you calling me a 1 am because you need me to deal with a problem, and one of them calling me because they don't know the chain of command." Yuu finishes. Fox opens his mouth to reply, but stops when the door clicks open and an older man walks into the room. He pauses, looks at Yuu, and then at Fox, and then at Yuu again. He's a human man, probably in his early 40s, with his hair starting to gray, "Good morning," He says slowly, "My name is Robert Dayne. I was told that all current Fire Captains need to speak with the new Commander." His gaze flickers over to Fox, "That would be you, sir?" Yuu and Fox share a look, "That would be me, yes." Fox says, "You're the first Captain to come and visit, Captain Dayne." "Yes Sir, Today's my day off." "Ah, apologies then." Fox replies, "Yuu-" "Mm...Maybe virtual interviews?" They offer, "I'll think on it." "Have a seat captain," Fox says as Yuu hands him his resume, "I just have a few questions. You needn't worry, this isn't an interview, it's just me making sure I know the men who do work under me." Captain Dayne relaxes, "Yes sir."

[dietmountaindewbae]

x. dracula teeth

alex turner x reader

requested by @malina-33 ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

word count: 4371

summary: A few months in a romantic relationship with (late AM) Alex has made you realize how secretive he is, but you never expected to find out how horrifying and profound was his secret

warnings: wax play, pa!n, degradat!ion, roughness, bl00d, sharp objects.

music recommendation: wax and wane cover by deftones

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*⋆ ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:

The door squeaks open as you head downstairs to the poorly lit basement, you made a list of chores while Alex was away, he was gone touring,  you never acknowledge how overwhelming the silence of his absence made you feel, you missed his loud records bright and early in the morning with a cup of coffee and a cigarette trapped between his fingers, his morning kisses, his pillow talks, casual naps, and gifts from just being there by his side. You spend most of the day cleaning his dark and humid basement, it was very badly illuminated but the only thing that kept your mind out of this was that he returned today, you were more than excited, there were no words in any language to express how happy you were to see him.

Cardboard boxes were scattered everywhere, and big shelves were stacked with more boxes, books, clocks, and notebooks, you were doing good by cleaning out that basement before everything got covered with fungus and nothing could be saved, you were almost done with the shelves, soon enough you moved to the boxes.

Each had books, old cassettes of music, vinyl, clothes, and shoes, they were antique, very old, even a bit yellow now that you looked at them closer, but how come did he have all of these clothes? Maybe it was from someone in their family but you awfully doubted how a person could stay the same size every year, and not only that but with each box that you opened the clothes only seemed to get older.

Questions were flooding your mind, but that was until you ran into another box that had no name, no label, forgotten in a dark corner of the basement, something inside you tells you to open it, and another voice asked you plenty of times if you really wanted to know what was inside of the box, but you didn't want to stay like this, you wanted to know the reason it was sealed with three layers of grey tape, and disguised as a normal box in plain sight.

You grabbed a blade and slid it down the middle of the box, and you opened it, it was an old red leather box, and inside there were pictures, but not just any kind of pictures, it made your blood go cold, and your face got paler as you saw them up close, your hands shaking, could you believe a man that never gets old? were all of those fiction movies and books actually real? are you in danger? what should you do? of course, you don't know what to do when your boyfriend of two years could have this major secret, and you were so dumb to believe the lies he told you, why he couldn't take that death ramps to ring out of his finger, why was he so pale, why did he disappeared for a whole night, why the news was never on TV, no newspaper, nobody tells you what to do when you're with someone like Alex.

It was madness, maybe this was just a joke, maybe it wasn't real, maybe your mind was just being paranoid. You didn't know what to do, who could you ask about this without being called crazy, you had no other way out of this, but then you heard the front door slam shut loudly.

The first thing you grabbed was the blade in your pocket, your hand was shaking, your ears were ringing, and your eyes were wide open, you slowly approached the living room, and then someone whispered to you.

"Boo" You turned around in the blink of an eye, about to dig the blade into their leg, "Woah! calmed down babe is just me" The relief of hearing it's me was bittersweet, you looked at him differently, and you backed away instead of kissing him or hugging him, "Look's like a vampire has drained all of your blood," You were silent, "Are you alright?"

"Mhm" You wrapped one arm around him to give him a short hug, but he spun you around too happy to see you, "I-I missed you"

"M-Me too" He mocked, "What's that?" He asked about the box sitting on the counter.

"Nothing!" You said immediately, "I-I mean, it's just a little surprise I got for you, but you can't see it yet!" You tried to cover your lie but for how long could you keep that up, you should ask the expert, "How was your flight? I saw you guys on the TV you were amazing"

"It was great, I drank the best margaritas ever, and for me to say that you know they were delicious" You faked a laugh, "Anyways... what about you?"

"Me?" You began to get a little nervous, "Nothin' just cleaning the place up" He nodded his head dropping his bags and slowly approaching you, you walked back, your body against the countertop, he smiled pressing the palm of his hand on your cheek, kissing your lips softly, his mouth was eager for more, his kisses felt the same, tasted the same, but you weren't the same, something inside you had changed, a part of your didn't know what to do with all of these questions, no answers, strange behaviors, now you didn't know how to act, how did you get into this, did he had powers? was he reading your mind right now?

"Babe?" He backed away, he felt something with you wasn't right, "Is everything ok with you?" You didn't notice you never returned the kiss.

"Yeah, I just need to run some errands... I'll be back"

The whole afternoon you were from library to library, the things on the internet, and the images seemed to get more violent with every tap you opened, and every page you flipped, murder, immortality, blood, flesh, holy water, crosses, the sun, fire, wooden daggers, hypnosis, speed, and the lovers, tragic lovers, could you end up like one of them? After two years of strange behavior, why hasn't he done anything to you? what's stopping him? Your phone buzzed.

my man 🎀 | 20:30 Are you coming back soon?

A bitter taste in your mouth formed, your insides twisting, and the only thing that you wanted to know was the truth, only the truth. Still, you didn't know if maybe your mind was fucked up enough and you should get something to protect yourself, and even if you wanted to you could never hurt him, he has never done anything considered violent towards you, he would never do something like that.

You took a cab on your way home, how did this ever happen to you? maybe he spend years in relationships with other girls, telling them the same excuses as you, he never lied, he didn't tell the truth.

He greets you at the door, waving his arm, his face shining in the moonlight, you smiled and kissed his cheek, once inside the whole place is dark, lit by warm candles that lead to the dining table, it had flowers, wine, and a meal for two.

"What's all of this?" You asked.

"I know I haven't been home in a while, that you've stayed here longer than we expected, so I made us this..." Steak with pasta, and potatoes, some homemade bread as well, Jesus he made all of this himself, "To show you I love you and very much"

"Thank you, baby, this looks great" You smiled at him, and he pulled a chair out for you, and when you saw that smile, it was like everything had been erased from your mind, when you saw that smile every cold-hearted word you wanted to say had slipped away, but you wanted the truth, and that smile could never make you forget about that, "Does the pasta have garlic?"

"Yes? And plenty... a pasta isn't pasta without garlic babe" He chuckled while you faked another laugh, "The steak has some too" His sharp knife cut the meat, and you watched how his medium rare steak with its juices spilling onto the plate with blood, the joy in his face as he eats it, your appetite had shrunk, and you took a big sip of your wine serving more, and the delicious food on your plate was your enemy, you couldn't process everything.

"Last time I checked you didn't like it that much" You joked, "Right, Alex?"

"That's ridiculous" He stopped eating for a minute as he stared into your eyes, something was out of place, "Why are you asking?"

"Why aren't you telling me the truth?" You confront him, why was he still acting like he didn't understand you? He whipped his mouth slowly, his hands forming fists, "You're not gonna say anything?"

"I don't know what you're talking about" He answered.

"I want the truth!" You demand, he didn't know what to say, what to do, how to explain the unexplainable, never in his life had he been caught, and whenever he was about to confess the truth he withdrew, but there was no way of escaping this.

"For the millionth time, I don't know what are you talking about, stop!" He yelled, the veins on his neck popping up.

"I'm leaving... I just can't" It was getting out of hand, and you weren't getting answers, hell, did you even want them? He couldn't take that at all, if you left that was like hell to him, he moved faster than you, too fast, your eyes were shut for a moment and when you opened them there he was in front of you stopping you from getting out, "How-" He held you down, putting his hand on your neck.

"Don't go" His eyes wide open staring at your soul.

"What are those pictures in the box Alex?" Your voice quivered, "Tell me they're fake" He couldn't answer that to you, he couldn't, his brain couldn't form a smart way to get himself out of that situation, you turned pale, filled with too many questions that frustrated you so much, all those secrets he couldn't keep anymore, "Tell me the truth" His jaw tensed.

"You know the truth, you know the word" That was his answer, and you felt like you could pass out at that moment from the shock, but it can't be, it's impossible, or could it be?

"Get off of me" You ordered, "You can't... it can't be..." You took a step closer to him, running your warm hands thru his cold skin, and dark brown hair, he had no wrinkles, no marks, not a single flaw, "You're a vampire" It sickened you to say it because you hoped it was all made up.

"You're not leaving me, are you?" He asked you, now more than ever you didn't want to go anywhere, "I love you, if you leave I'll die" He so desperately says.

"Not even vampires can die from love" What you didn't understand is the feeling of not being scared of him, not being scared of what he could do to you because if he wanted to he could do so, what did you have? what was it that stopped him?

"I can if you go," His all-black outfit made his skin shine in the pale moonlight, "I would never hurt you, my love, I would never... all of this time I cared for you because you're all I need, you're all I yearned for, you're all I want, you're the only thing that keeps me here, and God when I see you... I wish I had more control but I lose it so easily" The curves of your body were made for his hands to grab, just like a puzzle, the spirit he missed, the joy, the spark that lights his fire, "You my love are all I need now, and forever" His fingers ran thru your hair pulling it back, aiming his lips to yours, now you were the one with no self-control when it came to the way he kissed you so slowly, so gently, passionate raw love, it was setting you on fire.

"Show me how much you can love me" He grabbed your thighs, sprinted to the bedroom, and lay you down fast, your clothes were slowly discarded from your body as he kissed down every inch of it, his rough fingertips like feathers against your flesh, his nails digging very gently on your skin.

"You don't know how far can I take you, babe" You watched him stand up just to grab one of the red candles on the table, approaching you just like he was ought to get you, ought to destroy you like he had been watching your every move, he hovered your body, "Close your eyes" His voice so hunting, your heart felt like it was about to beat out of your chest, you didn't know what he could do, he promised to take you far, but how far? how deep? He created new limits, and everything you once knew was changed, took a 360, and now all you knew was that even if this man hid his true self for years, he did it out of love for you.

He shushed you, his fingers running down from the middle of your chest, creating goosebumps along the way, to your sensitive spot, you unconsciously tensed up, "Relax," He whispered to you, his rough hands laddered your body in oil, your arms, neck, collarbone, chest, down to your stomach to your legs, he did this with such adoration and love for what he calls his, and you were more than willing to follow whatever he asked you to do.

When you least expected it, a trace of warm wax was spilled on your body, it didn't burn, it didn't hurt, it was sickeningly enjoyable, you gasped when those first few drops were spilled on your chest, the flame of the candle shined against your body, as he spilled a few more down your arm, "A-Alex..."

"You love it, don't you?" His fingers coated in the essential oil slowly descended to your sensitive spot, "Mmmm you do" There was no way you could deny it when your pussy was soaking wet from the hot wax against your skin, the shivers that ran up your skull when he whispered to you, "You love how warm it feels on you, right?" He demonstrates his tolerance, but not only that, he demonstrates how much he likes it by pouring some on his chest, it was a sight to see, his chest raising up and down fast as he drips more down his veiny arms, he makes fists with his hands as he breathes thru the pain, "You're as twisted as me, do you want more?" His breathy voice asked you, but he needs no answer from your mouth, your eyes were the ones that shined when he asked you, he poured more drops down your belly, the heat, pleasure, and pain mixing together to make you feel ecstasy.

"Oh fuck me-" You said, his fingers lazily grazing your clit dipping the tip of his fingers inside you, you trembled pushing your hips forward to get them to sink further in, he took his fingers away, looking at you frustrated, you did something wrong, you shouldn't have moved, and you would regret it, he stood up from the bed, you tried to stop him but he put your hand away, "Wait-" He left the room.

Your heart shrunk a little, you waited like a puppy waving her tail hoping he would come back soon, and when he did he came back with two short ropes, "Do you trust me?" He asked you, you locked eyes with his as you nod.

"Yes... of course I do" He grabbed your right hand, tying your wrist to the headboard as he kept that intense eye contact, figuring out what he could do to you next, there were so many ideas on his mind, twisted, evil, he just wanted to tear you apart.

He caressed your face with the tip of his finger, you were delicate to him, like a sculpture, a painting, a porcelain doll, he could sit and adore you for hours and with each minute that passed he would still be mesmerized by you, once your other hand was tied up he hovered you over, kissing your face as he sneaked his hand to grab the candle, he poured the hot wax between your tits, the flame grazing your skin in a hot breeze, you gasped, short on your breath, for the excitement of the danger, "You're a masochistic fuck, even if you don't say it... you can't hide it from me," His fingers went down to your cunt, which he so blatantly touched forcing his fingers inside your pussy that was contracting around nothing, you were desperate for more than just fingers.

"I need you inside me, please... I need it" He covered your mouth with his hand shushing you.

"Don't cry, you'll get it once I'm done with you" He comforted you, just the hope of hearing he'll eventually finish you up very nicely had you convinced to settle down for his fingers at the moment, but you were almost drooling by thinking about him inside you, just going all feral, he always measured himself to not hurt you but this time you didn't care, you just wanted everything, all of it. You felt everything at its highest peak, the pain, and the ecstasy, such a sweet combination, he takes the advantage of your eyes closed, finally relaxing a little bit, while giving in to his fingers, pouring wax on your lower belly, and on your hips.

You covered up your weeping, your body twisting as the hot wax ran down your sides, you knew the burn was gonna be over soon but his fingers worked wonders between your legs, it made you want, and need, but you felt pathetic to admit it, "I want more" You groaned, "I-I want it"

He was awed, you felt ready for more, it turned you on, it set you on fire and it was hard to change your mind, you felt addicted to the rush and once it was down you wanted another try, he poured wax on your tits and in your hips, you hissed and tried to relax as the pain fades, "More, babe?" You hummed as a yes, he drips more on your inner thighs, and you moaned instead of groaning, "You sick little fuck, you're making a mess on the blankets you know that? and oh... you taste so fuckin' good" He put his two fingers inside his mouth, tasting you so lustfully, taking in a breath, he had never tasted something so good, "Taste yourself" He slipped one finger inside your mouth, and you sucked it butting the tip of his finger before he replaced it with his mouth, he was eager, you felt him hard against your thigh, you couldn't handle it any longer, you wanted his dick way far up inside you, as he pulled away he trapped your lower lip between his teeth, he nibbled on it way too hard until you felt the taste of your own blood, his heart began to speed.

He sucked on it so gently, your heart beating out of your chest as he kissed you deeply, the taste of the red wine, and blood mixing together on his tongue so deliciously, but he stopped leaving you winded, "It's so easy to lose control for you," His eyes bloodshot red, his teeth fighting the urge to dig themselves on your neck, your flesh was so nice, and when you saw his sharp Dracula teeth you weren't scared, you weren't afraid, you felt wanted so badly he could even consume you, every last drop, you smiled at the sight, the blue moon rising, painting his cold skin like soft snow.

Just like a piece of meat he opens you up, positions himself between your legs, shoving his hard cock inside you, his rough hands tying your legs on his hips, pumping your pussy so roughly, going crazy, and it hurt but you didn't want to take it slow either, your knees high up as he lifts his hips up and down, burying his cock inside you hitting the spot that made you see stars, "Oh fuck... right there please!" You screamed holding on to the ropes, "Fuck...Alex!" You scream from the bottom of your throat, it was probably the loudest you've screamed.

"Oh fuckin' hell you just get tighter... are you gonna cum for me?" He pounded your pussy nice and loud, driving his hips forward and back, the bed frame hitting the wall as he kept fucking you, tears rolled down your eyes, he was a feral beast, while you were tied, forced to submit but you loved every minute of it, his cock strokes your walls just right, while they tighten around him, only getting wetter making it easy for him to fuck.

"Yeah... cum with me... cum inside my pussy... please" You gasped, "Please I want it... I want it so bad" You whined as your stomach contracted, "Ah! shit" Sweat, oil, tears, and wax covered your whole body up, Alex groaned taking a much deeper pace, burying himself inside you, your legs wide open as he thrusts his hips, only three more pounds, and he came inside your pussy just like you wanted, his hot release coating your walls, you hummed content.

He giggled, "I could love blood but you love cum," You nodded your head, it was like your addiction, every since he did it that one time, you loved it so much you desperately begged for him to finish inside you, "Cum junkie"

"Kiss me" He took a deep breath in, and you came alive after that raging orgasm, he was so pleased with the way you felt the whole night, but you still had something that was bothering you, "Al" You whispered, and he broke the kiss.

"Yes?" He pecked your mouth.

"I want to be with you," You said to him, he smiled at you so in love.

"You have me for as longs as you want" But he wasn't understanding you, maybe it was too much to ask, and it was serious business.

"Always, forever... until my last breath," You said, his eyes changed, you weren't really asking him that, right?

"Babe, this is not something I asked for" He pulled out of you gently, you felt empty but pleased at the same time, he was worried you were taking this choice by impulse without thinking it straight, it would be selfish if he just turned you because he wanted you, quite the contrary, he would stay with you until you weren't young and beautiful, he would stay as long as he could, "You gotta understand that, it's serious shit"

"I know! But Alex... I don't know if I'll ever be the same, I want to be with you until the end of times until the stars fall from the sky, and the sea dries, until then I'll stay with you... turn me please, I love you now, and forever"

"I adore you, you're my girl, my love, heart, mind, soul, you're everything" God that man was just like poetry, "But I can't... you're not thinking straight, love, this is permanent... this is forever"

"Just like my love for you, I loved you the first time, and I loved you the last time, and I'll love you forever... you'll do this because you love me... not out of selfishness or some sort of whim, this will set our love on stone," He sighed, there was no way he could change your mind, no way in talking you out of it, and he was scared, "I'll be ok... I swear I'll love you until the end of times, and pain only lasts for little" He was speechless, it was his take at the end of the day, you made the statement but it was his choice whether or not to make it real, there was a lot of reasons as why he thought being a vampire meant being miserable for a whole lifetime, watching the people you love the most die, and not being able to protect everyone you love from the world, but he was not capable of just turning people because he could, but you were more than sure you wanted this, and for many many years, he never felt this amount of love for someone, he fought thru the need of digging his sharp fangs into your skin because, above everything, he loved you, and if this was the way he needed to show you how much he does, then he'll do it.

His mouth slowly inched closer to you, he tried to be as gentle as possible, leaving a kiss on your neck before whispering in your ear, "I love you forever" He dug his sharp fangs into your tender flesh, and you screamed as he sucked out the blood from your neck, your heart beating so fast at the beginning until sit fell down to a slow rhythm, your vision got blurry, your heart pounding on your ears, the venom burned on your blood, but when he was over, he bit his own arm, the bite mark shaping perfectly with your mouth, "Drink it, now" He ordered, you sucked on his own cold blood, and you kept drinking until you blacked out from the unbearable pain, feeling your heart sink slowly on your ears, he comforted you humming into your ear as a song, telling you everything was going to be fine, holding you for the rest of the night.

From the black, you saw a white crack, your eyes slowly opening, blinking away some tears, you saw everything differently, you felt different but when you looked at him watching you in awe with a smile nothing had changed about him and you, and that was the last normal thing you knew it would never change, your love was more alive than ever.

"Until the end of times," Both said, wrapping yourselves in a deep kiss.

A/N

Sorry, the chapter was taken down by the community guidelines, i had to change the image because it appears to be very inappropriate, but i hope you enjoyed this chapter i worked extra hard on it, stay tuned for more, it’s easier for me to post during the weekend, forehead kisses to you.

For more stories follow me as @ thegirlinkneesocks on wattpad

x

[ihaveatheoryonthat]

Whumptober* Day 14: “I’ll be right behind you”

*I tried. I really did. I just hit “The Powers That Were Trying His Nerves” and couldn’t take myself seriously anymore.

@blaiddraws, someday I’ll write something for one of your AUs that’s not ridiculous fluff, but alas, today is for Worm Shenanigans.

---

There were certain inevitabilities in life.

The commuter who only just made his train to Humilau every morning, the annual Nimbasa blackout as Elesa’s ambition tripped the power grid, the departure and return of Casteliacones-- all of these events were guaranteed to happen, though the time frames varied between them.

Another constant was this: Ingo picked a direction and Emmet followed him.

It sounded odd, imbalanced even, but it really wasn’t. Ingo was too fair-minded to chart an inequitable path, and Emmet had no compunctions about raising an objection if need be. If anything, it was a game of give and take, of compromises. It was a substantial part of how they had ended up running the Battle Subway.

There was exactly one place Ingo had ventured where Emmet had been unable to join him, but, as always, he’d split the difference. While Emmet still wished he’d been able to accompany his brother on the unplanned commute to Hisui, the fact that it had been a round trip lessened the sting.

It was a strange homecoming, but not a bad one. There was a lot that had to change to accommodate their new lives, and a lot to adjust to or reacquaint oneself with; that was just the nature of things when you or a loved one was reincarnated as a soul-powered train. For every weird or uncomfortable new quirk, there were ways to alleviate that burden or find the fun in it, and there were plenty of perks mixed in. It was life-- just a new spin on it.

From the day he’d figured out who, precisely, was haunting the subway tunnels, Emmet had set his course.

As always, he followed his twin’s lead. It just took a little longer this time.

That was a nice way of saying that, when he passed, he turned right back around and demanded to become a second Frightrail. He knew the drawbacks; he’d been right there to witness them for years on end. While he might not relish the idea of drawing sustenance from others’ life force, he’d come to terms with that reality. Having a completely different body type would be a learning experience, but was it so much worse than moving on without his brother? No.

When it came down to it, that was the answer to every tricky question. He could endure it. They could endure it as a--

...could they be a two car train if they were both trains? Did one’s existence as a literal train preclude their ability to be a metaphorical car?

The Powers That Were Trying His Nerves stared for a long moment, processing, and then decided to wash Its hooves of him. Or at least, he assumed that was what happened. Something had to have occurred, because he blinked and then everything looked wrong.

Well, maybe not wrong, but weird. Even before reaching up to scrub at the rounded snout changing his field of vision, Emmet understood why that was-- again, he’d put years of thought into this, even if he’d made his decision all but immediately-- it was just… a lot at once. At least he had the luxury of knowing what he’d been getting himself into. Having an older sibling was convenient like that.

Speaking of.

He stopped pawing at his steel-smooth nose and looked around. Seemed Arceus had seen fit to plonk him in the park across from the station. Truthfully, Emmet hadn’t expected anything in particular, so this destination made as much sense as anything else. While it would have lived up the classic image of a ghost to rise where he’d died, he really didn’t need that kind of drama in his afterlife; he’d passed at home, and, logically, that space belonged to someone else now.

...he should go haunt the tunnels, just to see how Ingo liked playing worm wrangler.

Emmet made to push himself upright, but only made it so far as the first set of arms, lacking any of the tertiary pairs that studded each segment of plating. Right, they stayed dormant by default, didn’t they? He knew the sections of his body could slide apart to bring them out, but how exactly did one go about doing that…?

Maybe he should have asked some more pointed questions when he’d had the opportunity.

Eventually, he gave up on the ghost limbs, but with some trial and error, managed to wriggle himself into the air, and that would do for now. He stayed lower to the ground than strictly necessary for a host of reasons, ranging from ‘less noticeable’ to ‘not as far to fall’ to ‘feels more train-like’.

He was well aware that there wouldn’t be anyone at Gear Station so early in the morning-- not since Jackie had retired-- but it was home station for a reason, perhaps now more than ever. Even if he couldn’t make the staff understand what he wanted, all he had to do was wait around and he’d get it.

It wound up somewhat easier than he’d expected; even with the late hour, the station master’s office was occupied.

Blatantly ignoring the yellowed sign asking that patrons ‘not tap the glass, because the station master was sleeping’, he nosed it open and barged right in. Then Emmet did something that, were he alive, would have gone against the very fabric of his moral code: he deliberately caused a collision of trains.

With a sleepy hiss, his victim cracked an eye open, then chuffed a yawn.

“How long has it been?” He asked, nudging insistently at his brother’s face, “Do not tell me you were asleep all this time.”

“’All this time’? I can make assumptions, too, you realize. You’ve been here… hm… seven minutes, and you’re already jumping to conclusions.” Ingo rumbled, amused. His voice was raspy with disuse, and he didn’t even bother opening his other eye. Combined, it told Emmet that yes, he’d been asleep for awhile.

Magnanimously, he decided to ignore the comment, “You taunted me for days, before. And this time you decided to take a nap?”

His twin finally resigned himself to consciousness and ducked under Emmet’s head, giving himself room to stretch the first set of arms. “I’ve told you, the circumstances were nerve-wracking; it only turned into a game because that was the track you chose.”

Emmet grumbled his malcontent, and, to his surprise, it echoed in his throat. Before he had the chance to fully process that fact, Ingo raised his head, bumping against his.

“I assisted for a time, but it wasn’t fun in your absence. This seemed the easiest solution.”

Oh, it was a matter of fun was it? He could work with that. Eyes darting this way and that, he picked a quarry and escape route. When Ingo seemed distracted untangling himself, Emmet lunged forward and gave the tip of his tail a yank before scurrying off toward platform 3.

There was a bark of outrage that quickly condensed into:

“Your form is terrible!”

A delighted whistle escaped him and, without turning back, he called:

“Then you had better come correct me!”

The air displaced behind him, a secondary presence emerging from the slipstream he’d carved. There was a tug on his tail just before Ingo pulled up to his side.

“Honestly,” He huffed, nudging at Emmet’s spectral arm, “You studied aerodynamics; you should be aware of how inefficient this is.”

The plating slid shut at the contact and, unbalanced by his arms’ sudden exit, Emmet wobbled in the air. As he sped up, Ingo pressed their sides together, steadying him until he was the one leading, purposefully cutting a path through the air for Emmet to follow.

Well that just proved it: two cars to a train, irregardless of the number of sub-trains within.

Some things simply did not change.

[mc-writing-empty]

1902, Kentucky.

The fire’s gone out.

Turn a little deeper into the cotton quilt your mama made in some other lifetime. Blink slow against the dimness, steep deep in the stillness as the night stretches, yawns, gives way to a blessed new morning. You are alive again.

Cold and hungry. Feel the stiffness in your bones. Feel the heavy in your flesh. The tired, the lonely, the longing. But there’s a heart thumping under your ribs—feel it sing, slow and steady, at the sight of sunbeams. Sunbeams, again, like every morning that’s ever been. Sunbeams—new every day to a heart like yours, a heart that says: sunbeams, they’re a goddamn wonder.

Lead with it—that steady little drum of joy. Grab hold and let it pull your feet to the old floorboards. Little heart, pattering out a plea to see the sky—what shade of blue today? The question is as good a reason as any to commit to another day.

Dress in the gray light. Pull on the flannels and linen and denim that will keep the cold at bay. Keep your body safe. You know what’s at stake, kid. You know what it takes—to keep your body safe.

Breathe deep, cough against the rush of the cold—your breath hangs in the air. Little ghosts. Water from the bucket by the window, splashed against your face—close to frozen, stings against your skin. You’re awake. You’re alive.

Pull on leather boots, hope the laces got another day in them. Walk out into the wide world—see the slope of the clearing you made, the way the high grass meets a wall of trees—trees bigger than god, and maybe older, too. They hug in tight around your slice of paradise, your hard-hewn home. They form a cathedral of green—and brown and gold and flashes of deep, dark red. Like old blood, dried in a smear under your heavy, swollen lip after your Pa had finally had enough of you.

There’s a quiet here so deep you can feel it in your bones. Quiet like the moment after the preacher asks for bowed heads, but before he starts praying for hell to swallow all the sinners like you. Quiet like the first girl you ever loved, in that moment after you spilled that soft, silly confession to her—but before that foreign hardness took her face, before the slow panic and repulsion made her a stranger you’d never met. Quiet like that moment when you learned your first lesson in self-preservation: love is for other people. Better people.

It’s a real shame, kid—the way the world kicks around beautiful things.

But you’re alright here, ain’t you? You’re alright. You feed the bleating sheep in their little pasture, and the chickens, too, and you love that there’s life in every inch of this place. The sheep, the sun, the seeds in the ground—they don’t give a shit who you are or what you’ve done. What you look like, what you own. You give to them, they give back. You’re alright here.

You go down to the crick for water, just as the sun starts pouring proper down into your little dip between the hills. You can feel it, warm and easy against the back of your neck. The cold can’t hold you forever. Nothing can hold you forever.

The afternoon brings a visitor—a boy, a horse, an empty cart, trundling up the holler path. You split one more log, let the pieces fall, lean the ax against the same post where you’ve hung your shed coat. The boy hops down from his saddle, raises a hand in greeting.

Brought your saw back.

He lifts the tool in question for you to see.

Pa sends his thanks.

You take the saw, and he dives into his bag to bring out a small parcel wrapped in a bit of an old flour sack.

Cornbread from Mama.

You thank him for returning the saw, and for the cornbread. He’s tall and lean—maybe a little underfed. His shoes are two sizes too small. His coat’s missing a few buttons. A boy still, pushing at the seams of what will come next. His parents can’t keep up.

You ask if they need any firewood. He refuses, says his Pa won’t accept charity. You eye the empty cart his Pa sent along with him.

You tell him he can take whatever he can split—ain’t charity if you’ve sweat for it. By the evening, he has a full cart, and you split the cornbread with him on the porch.

And maybe it’ll all count for something someday. Maybe it’ll all count when hell finally swallows you up.

Before he leaves, he stops there on the creaky old steps, looks back up at you.

Pa says you’re a good, Christian man, sir. He thinks mighty high of ye. Just thought you oughta know.

Maybe it’ll all count, when his Pa has to help put you in the ground someday.

When the evening comes, you retreat inside. Feed the fire, warm the place up. Cold dinner, ‘cause your body’s awful tired, kid. Your mind, too. You dig up a box of tobacco, take a pinch and pack it into a pipe you won in a game of cards—maybe one of the finest items you own. You sit on the porch and watch the last of the burnt bronze evening melt back into the trees. You’re alright here.

Just as the darkness of the night swells up, you see the flicker of a lantern up yonder on the hill—a soft, yellow star moving through the trees.

Could be anyone. Could be the boy, come back for more wood. Or this could be the moment everything unravels. Could be the night they drag you behind a horse, put you in a tree, bury you as someone you’re not.

You aren’t scared, but you’re ready—you fold your fingers around the rifle leaned next to the door and wait for hell to open up and swallow the sinners like you.

A quiet knock.

You open the door.

It’s her. The widow from over the next holler. She stands silent in the doorway, and her dark, tired eyes meet yours. She’s dry as a bone, but in the empty pools of shadow cast by her lantern, you could swear she was a drowning woman.

You let her step inside and you exchange pleasantries, as you always do on these visits. She asks after the book she loaned you—have you been enjoying it? You confess you haven’t had much time for reading. She offers to read a chapter or two aloud for you.

That’d be real nice, ma’am.

But neither of you moves to retrieve the book. Her hands cling to the black linen skirts of her dress, knuckles gone white with it. You can feel the empty, howling grief that came in with her, followed her like a roving spirit. You wish you knew how to help.

She cuts the space between you in half a step and touches her lips to yours. She tastes like tears and uncertainty and so many sleepless, heartsick nights.

It’s not proper. It’s not the way things ought to be. It’s not what either of you imagined, back when you were small and the world told you what your hearts should want. But no one prepares you, do they? For the weight of it all. For the sadness that creeps in between the boards, settles into your chest like a cough you can’t shake. For the way the haints and hurts hollow you out, slow and steady, until you wake up one day feeling like maybe you ain’t even a real person anymore.

You know she’s just lonely. You know she misses her husband and that you ain’t him. Don’t wanna be him. But when she pulls off your clothes, all those layers of the day—when she sinks in against you, meets your skin to hers—you remember, for a moment, that you’re wonderfully, terribly, brilliantly human. And that’s enough.

Later, in the deepest part of the night, she does read to you. Her voice dips and lulls through the bare little room, until you can’t really distinguish the words themselves—all you can hear is low, lush birdsong, and the content thumping of your own heart.

You sleep the sleep of the safe and relieved—heavy, deep sleep—and by the morning—

—the fire’s gone out.

You watch as she dresses silently in the first sunbeams of the day. As she leans in toward your dusty little mirror and pins her hair back into place. Hasty, but careful. She gathers her things, prepares to leave.

She hesitates, turns back to you in your bed. Maybe you could pretend to be asleep, but—you’ve been seen now. There’s no going back.

There’s a long, soundless moment that stretches out in the space between you. She says:

You aren’t a man.

Statement or question or accusation—you can’t be sure what she means. Can’t be sure that it matters. You give no response.

But underneath your mother’s quilt, your hands begin to tremble with fear.

She leans down, kisses your forehead with reverence, the way folks kiss the statues of saints. Or maybe it’s with pity, the way folks woulda kissed the corpses of those saints before they put them in the ground.

She leaves you there with your trembling hands.

And the fire’s gone out.

[melissamasakari]

Confessions you didn't notice

Chapter two. Birthday mess.

Sam's birthday went according to plan. In the morning I managed to catch her on the way back from training (and I even managed to cover my ears and not go deaf from Paulie’s screams!) and gave her a gift.

“Wow! Is this a ’snakebite’?! I didn't even dream of it. You're an angel!”

“Glad you like it. Evening plans are still valid?”

“Of course. That will be me and you only. Phyllis is on duty today, but I'll take her out for lunch. And Cap,” she turned around, looking at the dust slowly settling after her boss flew past, winding another circle, “had let me go early today”.

“What a generosity!” I deliberately clasped my hands. “Are we sure we’re there will be no one else?”

“I didn’t plan it. Remy is on Patrol around the abandoned ruins, Arlo, as usual, has carloads of papers and reports for the evening. And he also was talking about a bunch of commissions for materials. Well, he probably just came up with an excuse,” she shrugged with annoyance.

“Oh... that will be mine commissions, it seems. The poor fellow will completely drive himself away at this rate.”

“Don’t worry, he’s crazy like this every autumn. Just another week and he will calm down. He’ll just become an ordinary grumbler again.”

“With some itchy feet,” I couldn’t help but add quietly. Sam burst out laughing and ran off.

We had a great time in the evening as expected, collecting a ton of tokens from Django’s. I think we even emptied his entire prize pool till next year. He looked annoyed at first, but then he expressed his joy out loud and called us walking advertisements for an arcade.

Two days later I was persistently reminded that it turned out to be my birthday. Even pa sent a postcard from somewhere in his wasteland. Just amazing! He should have dispatched it at the beginning of summer for it to arrive in time. Ginger sent me a great necklace by the mail. I don’t usually wear this type of jewelry, but she will definitely be pleased if I come to a party in it. Gust sent... what is this, an umbrella? And with my signature stamp? He is crazy or something? By now the whole city should have noticed that I really hate umbrellas! And those hats are also dumb! And just then it started to rain, how predictable!

From time to time appearing at home between trips to work, I was surprised to observe the endless flow of townspeople at my fence gate. They looked around very funny, leaving boxes and parcels at the mailbox. Many gifts were without signatures or cards, but it was not difficult to guess the giver. In the mailbox there was even a note with threats and a demand to sell my workshop and get out. Probably Higgins...or those loser scammers. Well, let's see what kind of loot I’ve got. There is food from Emily and Martha, a cool warm jacket from Carol (I've been meaning to order it for a long time!), a carpet from Gale, another carpet from Sonya, a cool pot of flowers from Alice. Oh, what else is there? The box contained exactly the same black dress as I wore on that ill-fated day. The sweepingly and beautifully signed card read: “Shine bright too! I love you. Antoine!” Wow. ‘Black glow’? That’s unheard of. Well, okay, so there will be a spare one if I screw up somehow. And this is where the boxes end. And letters, too. Oh, wait. At the bottom of the box was a letter from Petra with blueprints and congratulations. And a very official paper from the Civil Corps with an apology for the delay of my commission and hopes for patience and calm. Damn red-block-head! But at least he definitely didn’t eavesdrop.

Sam found me late at night diligently threshing punching sacks. We had a nice chat and exchanged news. She handed me a cool roomy bag with the logos of Flying pigs stitched over as decorations. Hand sewn, that’s amazing!

“Do you like it? I wasn't sure since you didn't answer my question.”

“Amazing!” I couldn’t contain my delight and hugged her tightly. “Where did You get it? There are so many pockets, you are a miracle!”

“I bought the basic one from Carol and spent a long time fiddling with the decorations. It turned out a little clumsily, but I...” She drawled guiltily.

“Are you kidding?! In fact, it’s hard for me to imagine you doing needlework and here it is! When did you found time? No one has ever bothered like this for me before. Well, mom, maybe. And it was very long time ago so I almost don’t remember her.”

“I'm glad I guessed right. Cheer up, kid, I need to run further along the route before anyone notices that I’m skiving.”

Having assured that all the urgent work was going as it should I crawled away to rest. The weather was pleasant in the morning; the mud from yesterday's downpour had even dried out. After reporting on the projects to the guild, I decided to take a leisurely jog around the pond to relieve some turmoil from my head. Relieve, however, did not happen – obsessive thoughts followed me around. We even didn’t have a proper conversation. It's a pity. Maybe I should seek him out again? Come on, that's bullshit. I have much more important things to do. Gale has generously piled me with interesting work again, so I’ll try to throw myself into it and just wait till the rest of the fall. Apparently I made the wrong wish on the Day of Memories when I was releasing a flying lantern into the sky.

Until next Friday I honestly kept my promise to immerse myself in work. I fulfilled several large orders, took inventory, went through a bunch of paperwork, and, while making another small commission, decided to beat up my training dummies.

“Are you training?” out of surprise, I jumped abruptly high in the air and in a turn stroked the visitor with my knee in the shoulder.

And Arlo didn't even wince.

“Didn’t anyone tell you that sneaking is bad? And you have to knock!”

“Somebody once told me. And I knocked. Your fence gates are always opened anyway. Great shot, by the way!” He rubbed the bruised area, shook himself off and continued. “So just how busy are you?”

“It depends on what do you need me for. Are we expected to save the world again?” Remembering the last episode with the sewer repair I asked cautiously. I really didn’t expect that he would show up in person! Finally!

“No, it’s not that bad. I just got a little carried away and broke my training dummy. Can you make me a new one?” He nodded towards my equipment for blowing off steam. “I see you already know how – you don’t even have to look for blueprints. Will you take my commission?”

“Wait a minute. I made one for you recently. What did you hit it with, a hammer or something?”

“As it turns out I need something sturdier.”

“Okay, just how urgent is it?” And why do I keep thinking that I’m missing the chance to ask questions that are of much more interest for me?

“Can you have it done before the Snowball Battle? I don't want to miss my training for so long.”

“I have one condition. No, two.”

“I'm hanging on your words!”

“You still need to have a break from your training. You have been delaying my orders for the third week a row!”

“Sorry, something happened,” he shrank guiltily.

“I know what could have happened to you!” I blurted out, shaking my fist at him. Is it just my imagination or is there someone giggling there from behind the fence?

“What is the second condition?”

“I want to challenge you to a snowball battle. I have already beaten you in land run, but in the martial arts tournament I consider it was a technical draw.”

“A draw? You knocked me out of the finals! I didn't even understand how it happened. Twice.”

“So, you remember. And then Russo almost broke all my ribs. I should have left him to you. Or at least get some proper sleep before that fight...”

“Come on?! No preparation and you just rushed to thrash the butler. And if it’s of any consolation I didn’t have a chance against Russo either. He used to be a Civil corps leader after all.”

“Don't change the subject. I still have to invent an arlo-proof dummy, you know.”

“Yes, sure. I don't usually do snowball fighting, but why not? I haven’t done anything other than work and training for a long time.”

“Well, before I forget. How did your exams go?”

“It’s better not to ask,” he immediately drooped. Was it really THAT bad? He was running around like crazy all month.

“It's a pity. Sorry. So my lucky fist-holding didn't work. Next time I'll cross my fingers for you. They say it works better,” I made an appropriate encouraging gesture.

“It’s okay, I’ll survive. Looks like I'm still not good enough.”

“Then they are all blind there if they think so.”

Putting on an air of importance he cheerfully said goodbye and disappeared again into the landscape behind my fence gate. Just like deja vu. Looking for clues for the task he had given me I decided to visit Petra. We spent all day brainstorming and finally came up with a plan. There's just a little bit left to do – I have to get everything done in a week, unless urgent problem is rushed onto me. I had to hang around in the ruins all weekend and replenish supplies of materials; if I’m lucky, I’ll be able to start testing my arlo-proof-something by Wednesday.

On Tuesday morning Arlo reappeared on his own out of the blue. Sure, I don’t usually immediately notice if someone is looming around the fence, since it's such a common thing. There is always someone running around my place as if it is some tourist attraction. And almost half of the heads usually sticking up over the fence here are all red, well, including my own. I perfectly fit into the picture here, nothing more to say.

Why is Arlo acting so strange? So very weird. He just walks back and forth in front of my fence gate but for some reason he doesn’t try to come in or knock. So I decided to hail him myself.

“Arlo? Hey, come in, don’t circle around there or you’ll trample a hole in the road!” I shouted from the height of the second floor of the assembly station. Zero reaction. What's wrong with him? “Sky to the Captain, do you copy?! Captain Arlo, confirm the operation status! Repeat: confirm the operation status, Captain!”

“I asked you not to call me so!” He pouted, but at least he restored his touch with reality. I'll save this feat for the future.

“Come in, I said. I’ll come down soon,” I pointed with my hand into the yard, “or, if you’re not in a hurry, you can wait for me in the house.”

At the second offer he somehow stretched himself out with some nervousness, shook his head negatively, and in a couple of jumps found himself near the workbench. Having finished assembling another very important thing, I went to find out what was going on felling intrigued.

“Are you’re looking for your dummy? I planned to finish it tomorrow, well, Thursday at latest. I still need to test it, at least minimally.”

“Are you going to hit it with a pickaxe?” Hinting at the obvious difference in strength, he nodded towards my rather battered punching sacks hanging near the stable. “But no. That's not what I'm after.”

“Then what's up?” I wiped my hands with a rag and inquired.

“I was thinking. Maybe we can go somewhere together? Tomorrow.”

“Are bandirates invited to this party? Or maybe an ensemble of jumping dancers? An honor guard from the city administration? We seem to have agreed on a fest on Friday.”

“The festival is still valid, of course. But I would like to do something, well, more tranquil.”

“For example? Just don’t offer to go jogging and training!” I wonder if I’m daydreaming again, or is this a date? Judging by what I know, it’s definitely not his promotion party.

“How about we go to Django's? Then we can book an arcade hall or take a walk to the beach.”

“Beach in winter? Your tastes are little specific, you know.” I pointed out slightly sarcastically as I was trying not to show my excitement.

“I would suggest a haunted cave instead, but it’s slippery there now. And also cold. The atmosphere is the best, of course. It's creepy and disgusting. You may get sick, and instead of having fun you'll end up with a full pack of new problems”.

“Fair point. So tomorrow, a restaurant. In the evening?”

“Yeah, let's go in the evening. In the morning the hall is packed. At lunchtime there are always some of the bosses present. This will be no rest either.”

“Then where do we meet and what about the dress code?”

“I can come to fetch you. By seven. Is it fine?”

“Are you ignoring the second question on purpose, or is there some hidden meaning?”

“On this matter I am only a so-so adviser. I'll leave it you. Just make sure you're warm and comfortable enough. I know you’re still not very used to the snowy winter.”

“Acknowledged. I’ll be waiting for you tomorrow,” we bumped fists in goodbye.

In joyful anticipation I cheerfully completed most of the work planned for the whole week. I even managed to go and report on everything urgent. All that was left was that arlo-proof dummy. Sam caught me finishing it the next morning.

“Wow, what a monstrosity you are building here!” Her delighted voice came from behind the fence.“Can I check it out?”

“Come in, just don’t touch anything yet. It's not really bolted. I still need to tighten it up a little more and check it. And just then it will be ready to be screwed to some fairly heavy stand. So I just drove it into the ground so far. For tests.”

“Did you call a tester?” Sam inquired busily and patted her boxing glove with her hand.

“Let the owner test it himself. I really hope that at least he won’t hurt himself in the process”.

“This thing will be moved to the headquarters?”

“Bingo! Certainly. I'm already working on the second design.”

“What a colossus!”

“Yeah, I’m very interested to see how he’s going to get this thing uphill. I have never seen any transport usable to moving up the ice slide that the ramp in the park has turned into.”

“He'll figure it out. For the sake of resuming training he will do just everything. I was surprised that he even cleared away all the papers! Has he sent you all your materials? Or was I running around for nothing?”

“As far as I remember I still need leather and fur. I managed to get some for urgent orders myself. So, I'm not worried yet. But if there’s some lying around at the headquarters, just whistle and I’d better come and pick it up. Oh, by the way. Your order is ready too, I was going to catch you tomorrow. Wait a minute. And pass me that metal thing, please.”

“Oh, great. Glad I dropped by.”

“Are you in a hurry? I could use your help.”

“Not too much. What’s what you need?”

“A trivial girly thingy. I've nothing to wear.”

“Now that is interesting. People don’t usually come to me for something like that,” she laughed.

“I’m not going to ask Antoine for help and then be unable to get away from him. He gifted me a dress, can you imagine? And even signed a postcard.”

“Come on?! Show me!”

As we entered the house together I opened the closet and invited my friend to rummage through it while I washed myself off after the dirty work.

“So how do you like my booty?” I went out in my usual home attire, preparing to inspect my scarce selection of clothes.

“Here is plenty to choose from. So what’s the occasion and plan of the event?”

“I would have liked to know the occasion myself. I've been told it will be a restaurant and a walk. The sequence is arbitrary. Also I don't want to suffer from frostbite. And I don’t want to look like an unwashed miner either. As such, everything is as usual.”

“Okay. Then let's try this out” Sam surprisingly quickly put together a cool set for me. Then another one. And another still. How come I’ve got so many clothes?

As I’ve tried out everything offered, we looked at the clock and found that lunch was almost over. So we had to finally choose and we settled on a practical classic. As result two almost identical girls, a blonde and a redhead, looked at us from the mirror, smiling provocatively. The difference was in the details and some little things. My jacket was warmer and longer still, bright blue – made of Slurpee leather. And the jeans were perfect – gray, with a lot of pockets. My only warm and non-slip boots also fit well. I’ll even wear my new necklace with these. And also I’m going to take with me my current favorite bag.

“You are my savior! Drop by on any weekend – I’ll treat you to home-cooked lunch.

“Splendid! They say you almost beat Django in the Cook off. Sorry I missed everything. Usually that competition includes a lot of my favorite dishes.”

“Let's catch up then. And here's your order.”

To pass time til the evening I decided to tinker with the paperwork that I usually do on Saturdays. However, Arlo did not appear at the appointed time. Nothing new. I was about to go “test” his order, and I even got to made a couple of test kicks when I heard noise from behind the fence.

“Look what the cat dragged in! You can arrange transportation for your new toy,” I began instead of greeting and waved my fist invitingly.

“Oh can I try it out?”

“Just without zeal. I already thought you wouldn't come at all.”

“Sorry. I was sorting out complaints from one workshop. It turns out that you are accused of stealing a pickaxe. A bronze one!”

“What kind of jerk took a risk? I have had only iron ones for a long time. You know that.”

“Yeah, well enough. That's why the investigation took so much time. I had to collect evidence in the first abandoned ruins in order to prosecute him for libel. He will be an eyesore for me until the end of the week in the jail now,” he said indignantly but rather threateningly, and made a couple of test blows at the dummy.

“It was Higgins, wasn’t it? Ugh, I'm sorry. Consider yourself forgiven. And as such you already punished yourself for being late.”

“So generous. And this toy turned outto beexcellent! I had no doubts, of course. You’re a great builder after all. But you managed to exceed all expectations.”

“Are you sure you don’t have a basement anywhere? Otherwise it might, uh, break through the floor or something.”

“Don't worry. I won’t put it on the second floor, but it’s the clinic where there is a basement, not our place. Are you ready?”

“If you are ready to give up trying to break this monstrosity. At least until Sunday.”

“Yeah, sorry. Let's go. We should practice together sometime.”

“No way.” I closed the house and checked the gate.“I won’t spar with you anymore.”

“And why is that? It was great! I enjoyed it very much!”

“Because I still plan to beat you in the tournament next summer, of course!”

“And just how will joint training interfere with this?”

“You will be ready for my surprises that way. That's not very interesting.”

“Do you have any other strange techniques up your sleeve?”

“Just you wait and see.”

“We've arrived.” Arlo opened the door, letting me in first. Well, that's nice.

Oh, a cozy little fenced-in nook. Seems like a good spot, not too close to tables intended for large groups or business meetings, but, to my sorrow, uncomfortably close to the entrance and also in a draft. That's where we headed. Why am I so nervous? Well, I only dreamed about this for almost a whole month. Cheer up, girl! So, I allowed myself to be pampered a little tint bit, and we sat down opposite each other. The distance seems to be decent. Calm down, Melissa, breathe. Nothing is happening yet.

“You said that you come here often.”

“Yeah, so what?”

“Then explain such abnormal excitement around.”

“You think so? It seems like it's always like this.”

“I don’t know how to put this. Usually when I get here, that’s either Sam who pulls me out into a noisy crowd of people or I just hang out alone at the counter and sometimes discuss new recipes with Django if he's not too busy. And now it feels like as soon as we entered the entire staff dropped what they were doing and began circling nearby.”

“If you hadn’t pointed this out I wouldn’t have noticed. For some reason such a stir happens every time I come in.”

“So it's clear. This means that in an hour at most the whole city will already be gossiping about seeing us here together.”

“And so what? Just let them say and think what they want. This doesn't bother me at all. Does it disturb you, maybe?” To my surprise he really guessed it! It’s unlikely that he’s always hanging out privately with the girls here. Otherwise Sonya would have already told everyone. Now she’ll definitely talk about this little visit of ours, oh crap.

“Not that much. Maybe on the contrary it will be beneficial and yield more orders,” I said, putting on an overly cheerful appearance. It’s also quite possible that those Nora of his will bite me in the face later. Who knows what these church apprentices are up to?

“By the way about orders. I mean what are we going to order?”

“Let me think. Will we have separate account? I'm quite happy with today's dish of the day, a couple of crepes for dessert, and some hot tart drink like tea or coffee.”

“If it’s more comfortable for you, let’s have separate.”

It is not at all surprising that Sonya was hovering somewhere nearby and instantly materialized as soon as Arlo waved his hand. We said hello again I told what I wanted and discussed the conditions. Then it was my companion’s turn and he immediately ordered a total five of his least favorite dishes. I was terribly surprised and immediately tried to talk him out from this dumb idea.

“Wait, you don’t like sweets. And you’ve said SO many times that you can’t stand steamed potato fruit. Are you sick by any chance? There are also three sweet dishes and even a dessert. Arlo, what's wrong with you?”

The waitress chuckled softly. Really, she knows better than anyone in this small town each persons preferences in food. There is nowhere else to go here to be honest.

“I was quite healthy this morning, thank you. I don't know I just wanted to try something new. Or give this food a second chance, something like that.”

“Okay, we’ll always have time to add something else.”

Sonya accepted our orders and finally left, smiling mysteriously and gracefully swaying her hips.

“So, how it is? Do you regret moving here yet?”

“No way. Apart from this cold winter and an excessively humid, rainy summer, I am quite okay. I'm not swallowing sand each time I need to go outside. And the skin does not crack if I forget to hide it from the sun. And my job is really interesting. I even have made some friends! And there is a small but pleasant bonus: my aunt can’t reach me here and has finally stopped trying to micro-manage my life.”

“How‘ s that?”

“Well, you know. She breathed down my neck all the time with her advice. Don’t talk with these people – they’ll teach you all bad things! Just tie the knot and be fixed for life. But you’re not allowed to be friends with this guy and that gal. Blah-blah-blah and stuff like that. She was so overbearing that she even distracted me from studying and working normally.”

“Understood. Sorry for asking.”

“Come on. Here I can at least breathe normally and be myself. Do what I want. Talk to everyone I like, and not with those who passed Kendra’s selection.”

“Do you think I'd pass?”

“Well, it's a good question. I didn't even think about it this way. Besides, I just don't give a fuck anymore. If she’d not like you, that would be her problem! It’s quite enough that I like you. But if you insist I can speculate what it would look like. Just for fun.”

“Try it, I’m curious, if it will not make you sad.”

“Well considering what I've heard about you from others... Hmm. I suspect she would be over the moon that I have a friend like you. Kendra would brag to all of her friends, driving away their ugly, boring momma's boys. But I just won't let this happen, okay? I only recently stopped receiving trainloads of letters from her demanding to account for every step. “

“Well, I haven’t seen something like this before, and it’s hard for me to comprehend it right now. I won't ask again, I promise.”

“Agreed. It’s like we came to have fun, not to pick at sores.”

“Exactly,” he was still noticeably saddened, even hovered a little. Somehow the conversation wasn’t going well, and I started to get even more nervous.

Our order arrived. Predictably, as Arlo never liked sweets, he turned even sourer. And he also flatly refused the offer to order something tastier or at least filling. Oh, damn it, what to do with him? I should have confessed to him near the house and found out everything! There are too many extra ears here, and it feels like they are all crowding around. I can’t ask about exams as he would have told me about work himself. In a fit of panic I fidgeted with my bag, I don’t quite understand what I was trying to find there except for keys and a set of tools. A first aid kit, maybe?

“Wow, what a cool bag do you have here. Did you do it yourself? I want one too!”

“No, it was not me. And there will be no repeat, this is a one-off.”

“Why is this?”

“It’s a present. Handmade. So it’s really hard to repeat.”

“It's a shame. Wait, a gift? From whom? Was there an occasion?”

“I won’t say from whom. But there was an occasion, yes.” I tried not to dwell on my disappointment from that day about how my “best friend” didn’t show up and didn’t even congratulate me with a postcard.

“I missed everything, right? How long ago?”

“In the fall,” Sonya came to put away the dishes, eavesdropped and tried not to giggle. I'll discuss it with her later. At least not in front of Arlo.

“Sorry. You were probably waiting, right?”

“Let’s just say, I hoped. At least that we could just meet up and chat. I definitely didn’t expect an apology for the delay of my order that arrived by mail. I missed you, by the way!” Oh, that was too loud. It seems like a couple of plates broke somewhere near, just a little short of reaching the kitchen.

“Can you pinpoint a date? I understand that I should have known this myself, but it has had totally washed out,” oh, what a guilty tone his voice has. I almost liked it.

“Not surprised. You were completely absorbed in the upcoming test. Twenty fifth.”

“Exactly. That was the last three days of preparation and run-up for the training ground. I utterly screwed up,” he hit himself on the forehead with his palm.

“Do not worry. I usually don't celebrate. This was I think the first year in the last... ten, or such that I had some festivities”.

“What kind of gifts do you like? Well, for the future,” have he perked up or something? It's nice.

“It’s hard to tell right away. I usually like something practical. The girls gave me a whole bunch of warm clothes. Now there is something to wear for work in and something fancy for special occasion. Just in case, I’ll tell you right now if you haven’t figured it out yet. I DO hate umbrellas! Anyone who dares to bring me an umbrella or any other thing that resembles it as a gift is at risk of getting it back, stuck up their ass and opened!”

I heard the door opening and the completely indecent laugh of Sonya and her group of friends three tables away. Antoine cackled louder than anyone, even the chandelier above them swayed. Well, guess who got here... I think I have problems. It's probably too late to leave. I shrank all over in my seat and tried to pretend to be a decoration on the wall, checking the situation with my peripheral vision. The laughter can still be heard, but it seems that the storm had passed. Gust walked past with a poker face and disappeared somewhere at the entrance to the arcade hall. His pig jumped funnily after him. Now it was I who had to hold back my laughter. Arlo without any reaction to Gust calmly continued:

“Do you have any wishes?”

“About gifts, or about this evening?”

“Both.”

“I’m not going to the arcade now, okay?” I nodded towards the person who came in. “I don’t want to see him with his sour face. It will ruin the whole mood for me.”

“Understood. Let's bug out then? “He winked conspiratorially and helped me to get ready to leave. Just in case I left a generous tip for my part of the order. I hope my hint will be taken.

We walked out into the refreshingly cool, clear night. The city had not yet begun to decorate for the winter festivals, it was quiet and calming. The yellow lanterns shone comfortably. I was really proud of making them! The shops had long been closed, and on the way to the Central square we didn’t even meet anyone. Sam's light wasn't on – she was most likely on duty. I was very relaxed so I didn’t even notice how we ended up at the swing near the school. But why not?

“Do you want to swing? New competition?” Arlo perked up noticeably and cheerfully sat down on the second swing nearby, as soon as I sat down on mine.

“You wanted quiet leisure time. Don't overexert - you'll fall out. Or wind will inflate your head,” I slowly began a test swinging, “I have a light form of motion sickness.”

“Then why did you do such tricks at the land run?”

“I had to quickly dust off my rusty skills. I have a complicated relationship with horses. And that stallion, moreover, was rented and too nasty. But it was fun!”

“Never DO that again. No one would even notice in time that something went sideways! You looked so confident.” I can hear rising anger in his voice. “And for your skills, we’ll come up with something if you wish.”

“Personal riding instructor? Sounds tempting. But first I will have to fix the issue with the stable and look for an opportunity to buy a horse. I need to wait until that tame filly I noticed at McDonald's grows up,” I said and then immediately imagined how ridiculous it all would look. Crap.

“Maybe you can start with something more trivial? Llamas are quite good for taming.”

“I hope this isn’t a veiled insult about my petite size. It's enough that Sam teases me about it regularly. But she's allowed to.”

“Why should I tease you? I like the way you are. And, by the way, why should Sam tease you? You two are almost of the same height.”

“It’s not really about height,” I jokingly pushed him under the elbow with my palm, slightly disturbing the balance of the swing. “We quickly befriended, and I got tired of her calling me builder. It was too formal. She called me “little fella” or “kid” one day and it stuck. Strange, because it’s not much shorter than my actual name. But I didn’t argue anymore.”

“Understood. Don't push me, or we'll get swings twisted.”

“Come on, I don’t have the strength to move you.”

“But you still managed to win a spar.”

“I’m still convinced that you gave in.”

“I wouldn’t have thought,” he got from the swing and walked around me from behind and grabbed the chains of my swing right above my hands. Satisfied, he looked down at me and offered to swing me. Starting to blush deeply, I nodded in agreement. For some time, only the rustling creaking of the rig was heard from above. I need to come back here sometime soon and oil all the bearings.

“Is it okay? Not too fast? Not frozen yet?”

“Fine. And what?”

“You look so good with such a blush on you, you know. It's getting late. Do you want me to lead you home?”

“Only if you come up for tea,” the swing gradually stopped.

“I don’t want to abuse your hospitality. Let's leave the tea for another time, okay?”

“Deal,” I got off my seat, and we headed towards the stairs.

Having climbed a few steps up, Arlo turned around, waved his hand at me and said: “See you Friday, sweetie!” and sped up the hill.

I'm looking forward to it. Wait, how did he call me? I definitely misheard!

[modern-day-bard]

Worth The Feeling

Content Warning: 18+

This story includes explicit smut, intimidation, and an age gap relationship (MC is 26, Javi is in his 40s). Minors, do not interact.

Chapter 7

Wait.

That is all I did this weekend. Wait and try and catch my breath. When I woke up on Saturday morning, I had all but convinced myself that Friday night had been a dream. But I could still feel his lips on my neck, and my wrists still tingled from his hands binding them together. Come Monday morning, I had now taken a total of three cold showers.

Lana had called Friday night, Saturday morning, and Saturday afternoon. It wasn't until she threatened to get the authorities involved that I called her back. I love Lana, and I tell her everything, but a part of me liked that this was just between Javi and me. Truthfully, I hadn't even had the opportunity to have any secrets from Lana. And I liked having a secret life for once. Even if I only kept the secret for about twenty-four hours.

I didn't give her all the details. The suspicious side of me wondered if he could sue me if he found out I had spilled all of our dirty laundry. Not that we had a lot of it. And I know Lana wouldn't tell, but we all work together. Surely it could get back to him somehow. In the end, I decided to tell her the facts, and leave out the dialogue during our kiss. The only person I wanted to confess my lust to was him.

That part had really been nagging at me. I confessed that I wanted him, and he said he felt the same way, and then he left. Kissed my forehead, and left. After I had my breathing back under control, I wondered if I had done something wrong. But I'd pushed that thought away as much as possible. I didn't want to be that person. As much as I was attracted to him, I wasn't going to let him make me question my confidence.

That is, until I stepped on to set.

It's not that I'm not acting confident, it's just that I can sense that I'm acting differently. Evidenced by the fact that I wore a dress today. Never in my life as a PA have I worn a dress to work. The amount of bending over and hustling we do just doesn't allow for it. But when I woke up today, and I remembered how good it felt to feel Javi's slacks against my bare legs, I pulled out this green wrap dress first thing.

I've now made it almost half the day without seeing him. Apparently over the weekend, Lloyd had some sort of epiphany and decided to shoot things in a different order than we'd scheduled. I don't think Lloyd understands that epiphanies are supposed to be rare. Now, the entire crew is in shambles. I've been assisting almost every department today, and by the time we get through with lunch, I'm starting to regret my choice of attire.

"Dwayne to Ava." My walkie croaks.

"Go for Ava," I say, out of breath from carrying several pounds of wiring almost a mile across set.

"Hi Ava, Gutierrez is asking for you in his trailer."

"Really?" I squeak, "I mean, did he say what I should bring him?" I tried to recover from my excitable first response.

"No, he didn't say. Just go check it out, would you? And then we're going to need you on soundstage one."

"Copy!" I hope he takes my excited tone as a frantic one. Today of all days, that wouldn't be surprising.

I take my time walking to his trailer. I wish I had seen him in the beginning of the day before everything got so hectic. I'm sure the chaos was written all over my face, and my dress was all wrinkled now. Even so, nothing would prevent me from knocking on his door.

"Come in!" I hear him call and my stomach lurches.

When I enter the trailer, I'm surprised to see another man standing next to Javi in front of the kitchenette. In my startled state, I blurt out, "Mr. Gutierrez!" as if it's him I'm surprised to see, in his own trailer, where I was called to meet him.

He looks amused. "Mr. Gutierrez? So formal, Ms. Cohen. I thought we were better acquainted than that," he takes a slow sip out of the mug in his right hand. "Ava, this is Jonah Elrod, my lawyer."

"Oh," I blink before holding out my hand, "Nice to meet you."

Jonah takes my hand, smiling, "Likewise." He must be early thirties or so, but his smile is a bit crooked, giving him more of a boyish charm. He is tall, with light brown hair slicked neatly back to match his suit. "Javi, I'll be in touch," Jonah turns to the table, picking up a messenger bag before moving toward the door. "Ava, it was good to meet you," he smiles another crooked smile.

"You too," I say, and then he is gone. The sound of the door clicking seems to echo in the room for a long time. It takes me a moment before I can look at Javi. After everything on Friday, the tension seems to pull these walls tighter around us.

"Hi," Javi laughs lightly, his voice filled with the suggestion that he is feeling the tension too.

"Hi," I smile at him, feeling shy. "Why were you meeting with your lawyer? Or, wait I'm sorry I probably shouldn't ask that."

"You can ask me anything," he leans against the wall, "But I'm a little worried about scaring you off."

I think on that for a moment. He doesn't elaborate, he just keeps watching my face change from confused, to more confused.

"Oh my god," realization hits, "You need me to sign an NDA. Was I supposed to do that before our date? I mean, before...Friday happened?"

Javi's eyes widen. "What?" He puts his coffee down on the table, moving closer to where I am by the door. "No. You don't need to sign an NDA. And that wouldn't be your responsibility, it would be mine."

I just nod, and Javi takes a breath before continuing.

"Look, I'm not trying to insinuate anything. I don't want you to think that I'm asking for your hand in marriage after one date. But with your career, I wanted to make sure all of our bases are covered." He waits, looking to my face for reassurance. Honestly, I feel a lot better just knowing that he didn't summon me here to legally commit to not talking to someone about our date after I definitely already talked to someone about our date.

"Basically, I wanted to ask Jonah about paparazzi rights. See if there would be any legal ramifications for someone if they were to post a photo of us together without your permission. I'm free game, I signed up for this. But you didn't," he takes another step closer to me, his eyes sincere, "I want to apologize, Ava. I shouldn't have done what I did out in the open where anyone could have been lurking with a camera."

After a brief pause, I ask, "So that's why you asked me here?"

Javi nods.

"And here I thought you were going to apologize for not coming in for a night cap."

Javi chuckles, visibly relieved. "If I recall correctly, you didn't invite me in for a night cap."

"Well, my apologies. I was...preoccupied." If the air was thick before, that comment just added about twenty metric tons of tension on top of it.

"Jonah seems like a nice guy," I feel dumb saying it, but I can't let my last comment hang out in the air any longer.

"He's pretty great. I'm thinking of getting rid of him, though." Javi takes another step toward me. Thanks to the general small scale of trailers, he's now close enough that I have to lift my head to look him in the eye.

"Why's that?"

"He totally checked you out when he was leaving."

I half-laugh, half-snort. "He most certainly did not."

Javi ignores my comment, reaching his hand out and taking the tie at the waist of my dress in his hand, twisting it around his fingers.

"Can't blame him. It's this dress..." his gaze flickers up to mine. Hopeful. Hopeful and heated. "It's a very good color on you."

"I might have..." my cheeks blaze with my omission, "I might have picked it with you in mind." Javi's expression grows possessive. "Is that so?"

"Mmhm."

Javi leans forward, bringing his lips to my ear. "Did you think about me while I was away?"

My breathing hitches. I nod slowly. His free hand moves to the other side of my waist.

"Tell me." His voice is low and commanding.

"I thought about you all weekend," My voice trembles with excitement.

"Mmm," he hums, placing a featherlight kiss to my neck. A shiver runs down my spine underneath his hand. "What exactly did you think about?"

Tentatively, I look up and meet his gaze. The look in his eyes shoots straight to my core. His lids are hooded, his deep brown eyes wanting. I place both of my hands on either side of his face and pull him down to me. I kiss him gently, trying to remind myself to breathe. He is gentle too, though now both of his hands are on my back, inching their way down toward the hem of my dress. Before I know it, we're moving backward. I don't open my eyes, but Javi's embrace spins me. We continue to step backward until I make contact with the table in the kitchenette. His hands travel to my thighs as he bends down slightly, lifting me just enough so that I'm sitting on the table. The movement breaks us apart, and he takes the opportunity to grab my chin. He leans in so close that his lips brush mine as he speaks.

"Use your words," I feel his other hand on my knee, his fingers lightly skirting up under my dress, "Tell me what you wanted then."

With his hand firmly on my chin, there is nowhere else to look as I say, "I wanted you to come upstairs."

"What else?" His hand continues up my thigh.

"I wanted you to help me out of my dress." I have no hope of hiding how quickly my chest is rising and falling.

"Mmhm. That one was a bit shorter. I think it stopped...Here," he cuts a line across my upper thigh with his finger, "Is that right?"

"No," my eyes flutter shut, "It was higher."

He chuckles, low and gravelly. He moves his grip from my chin to the back of my neck.

"Look at me, Ava."

And I do. I look at him even though my face is on fire and my hands are shaking. I feel so exposed and still so secure. There is not a trace of apprehension in my nervous system. Looking at Javi right now, I feel so bare, yet so protected.

"Tell me where to stop." He commands. I nod in response, open-mouthed and unable to speak.

Eyes boring into mine, his other hand still on my neck, securing me in my place, he continues to work his hand up my thigh. He stops in a few places, pinching gently, drawing slow circles in others. Then he reaches my hip bone, where the side of my thong rests. I mentally thank my past self for having the decency to pick something other than Hanes this morning.

He toys with the fabric, sliding his fingers through it and out of it. His gaze keeps questioning, waiting to see when I tell him to stop. But I don't plan on ever making that request. As he realizes this still isn't too far, he hooks his finger underneath the lace, and slides his finger along until it rests in between my legs. I gasp now that he's not simply touching my leg. And even that was far from simple.

His movements still at my gasp, anticipating resistance.

"I didn't t-tell you to stop." My attempt at a seductive tone is hindered by my excited stutter.

He gives me a small smile, his eyes moving to my lips.

It distracts me for a moment, so I don't realize right away that he has now slipped his hand completely between my thong and my sex. His middle finger swipes upward, quick and unexpected.

"Oh!" I gasp once more, placing my hands on the table beneath me to steady myself. I toss my head back as far as it will go with Javi's hand still securing me in place. He does the motion again, and I stifle a moan. He continues this, and I can hear the wetness pooling between my legs with each stroke. Wanting the strokes to grow harder, I wrap my legs around him, pulling him closer. But that makes him stop. I snap my head up, eyes wide with panic.

He chuckles again at my bewildered expression, before moving his thumb to my clit.

"Don't worry, sweetheart. I'm not done with you yet." His calloused thumb starts to move in slow, delicious circles.

"My...god." I whisper, my legs starting to shake around his waist.

He leans forward, kissing my neck and collarbone as he continues. In between kisses, he says, "You said you'd never been kissed like that until the other night. What about this?" he gently bites underneath my ear, "Has anyone ever made you feel like this before?"

I bite my lip, shaking my head as I stifle another moan. My eyes are closed once again.

"I believe I asked you to use your words." He practically growls.

But I can't. I can't, I can't. It's too much. It feels too good. My hand flies up to his shoulder, grasping for support. I don't need to be steaded, rather I'm grasping at this feeling. I need more. His slow movements are driving me crazy.

"I want you to make me..." I don't even recognize my own voice.

"Keep talking."

"I want to–"

"Dwayne for Ava, Dwayne for Ava." My walkie stutters to life from its position around my waist. I had completely forgotten that it was there.

"Shit." I cry, "No."

But Javi's fingers had already left my thong, and he's now leaning his forehead against mine. "You need to answer it," he pants.

"I..." Don't want to? Can't believe how shitty this timing is? Can't believe how good I just felt?

"Ava, are you there?" I hear Dwayne's voice again, slightly more irritated. The heavenly feeling I was just experiencing had dulled the fact that today has been one of the more chaotic days on set. I take a deep breath, grabbing my walkie from my work belt that was now much higher on my waist than it had been when I entered the room.

"Go for Ava."

"Are you done with Gutierrez?"

Well Dwayne, I was close. Javi smirks at Dwayne's question, pulling away from me and leaning casually against the doorframe by the table. The table where I was still sprawled out on, flushed.

"Yes. What do you need?"

"You're needed on soundstage one, like I said before. We need as many hands as possible to get organized in here."

I push my hand toward the receiver to reply, but I gasp when I see Javi slide his fingers into his mouth and suck. The same fingers that had just been giving me so much pleasure. He hasn't taken his eyes off of me, and now I'm starting to think he relishes in this specific form of torture.

"Ava?" Dwayne is definitely irritated now.

"Copy. On my way." I secure the walkie back on my belt and scoot off the table, rearranging my dress so that there are hopefully no signs of anything nefarious happening in here.

"You're evil for that," I jab my hand in Javi's direction.

His eyes turn exceedingly innocent. "I mean I had to have one taste before you go."

My mouth falls open and I just shake my head. "I just...evil."

He just looks at me and shrugs, still leaning against the doorframe.

"See you soon, Ms. Cohen." He winks.

I let my wobbly legs guide me out of the trailer, back into the brilliant sun. It is very, very difficult to wipe this dumb smile off my face. A PA running around on a day like today with a ceaseless smile plastered was sure to raise some eyebrows. As I head toward the soundstage, I try to come up with a reason to drop it.

Unfortunately, I wouldn't have to wait long to find one.

Next Chapter

Previous Chapter

Series Masterlist

[watchingblsnowandforever]

Am I doing a review tonight? Heck yeah I am (i would die of too much feelings if i didn't).

Am I publishing last night's review that I wrote in a fit of depression and impulsiveness? What do you think?

I feel a little bad that I couldn't write one for every episode, but i did manage to come so far and since yesterday's episode could be considered an extension of today's, think of this as a review for both.

Moving on.

I loved today's episode. I really really did. It was beautiful, gorgeous and very heartfelt. It was also hilarious and horny but let's not talk about that (or maybe we will?).

I like making lists, so here's one more (a couple of scenes are from yesterday's):

At the Bull Camp: when Pran and Pat start a fight to stop Tian and Phupha from fighting. And morning come, when they're getting up from the tent for breakfast, and Pat asks Pran to rate him: these two really are horny little minxes (affectionate) that use fighting as foreplay.

The confession scene. You know the one. It simultaneously broke my heart and wrapped it in a fluffy blanket. I would have been able to enjoy it more were I in a better mood, but it's okay.

Most of yesterday's episode was them getting lost in the forest. I think this is because in some way or other, all of them felt lost. And it was about finding themselves (and each other) again. It also highlighted, in phases, how their relationships and they themselves are similar and/or different.

Yesterday's episode is beautifully explained in this post, definitely give it a read if you have time.

In episode 16, what I really liked was that while PatPran did things that were references to the original ATOTS, PhuphaTian also did things that were references to BBS. Case in point: Phupha asking Tian to rate him on his 'performance' and Tian first showing one finger to tease him. The eleven was a nice twist though :D And the eye mask- I'm crying T~T

Also, I had an idea as to what were Hona's "conditions" going by Pran's and then Pat's reaction (no this has no connection whatsoever to me wanting them to do a play together shh). So happy i was right.

The waterfall and the classroom scenes- honest question P'Aof, are you trying to kill us with fluff? If so, I'm completely on board, but I have stuff to do, you know.

"We need to talk." Yes you do. You have a lot of talking to do.

We all knew Hona was going to surprise him right (I got flashbacks of The Eclipse OS episode 2)? I did not expect that big of a surprise, though (we'll come back to this later). Happy for Tian.

The play. I loved it so much. I have no words for how much I loved it. Especially the seating arrangements (not InkPa gossiping about PhuphaTian when they are sitting right there). Initially, I'd expected Pat to be Hona and Pran to be Khru Tian, but this dynamic does make more sense. The "No one should use their whole life to repay someone else's." hit me right in the feels because that's what they have been doing their whole lives. They had to hate each other because Pat's dad had wronged Pran's mom. Pran had to "break up" with Pat simply because Pat was his father's son and thus, in Dissaya's eyes, couldn't be trusted. This is also very true for Pa; she had to pretend to hate Pran even after he saved her life. So this scene was only part acting for them. It was also the reality they have to live through every day of their lives.

My favourite scene is the curtain scene; I could write a whole post just on that. Partly because of the kiss, yes, but mostly because of the connotations. Twice, they have been outed with the curtain falling. The first time had a mostly good outcome, however temporary (I'm not counting the Wai Mess™). The second time, they managed to avoid any suspicions. These two times, the curtain falling signified their (not so) secret relationship being exposed. This time, they kiss in front of a whole auditorium full of audience and the curtain closes on them, signifying that they are successful in hiding their relationship from prying eyes. This has both sad (that they have to hide in the first place) and happy connotations (that they are in their own world where they can love each other to the fullest). Also Wai and Korn being the bestest friends 😂😂. "We have no choice." As if Pat isn't screaming and jumping inside to kiss Pran in front of everyone. Yes, of course, Pat, that's the reason. Also, Pa saying "I didn't know Hia could act." –Didn't Pat act in the Architecture play in his sophomore year? 👀

[Unmute :D Do NOT repost; I'll do more than find you]

12. Poor Pa- I wanted to hug her then (the second hand embarassment almost made me curl into the corner of my bed and never come out).

13. Aaaaand Nong Nao is back. Also, in this scene the casual "will your dad be okay with this?" and "what about your mother?" tells us just how much they've come forward together, and how much they are willing to sacrifice for their love. Previously, there was always trepidation, anger, sadness or all three when talking about their parents, now it's just another topic. Like, it's good if they're okay with it, but we'll not stop loving each other if they're not. It's beautiful. Also, this:

YES!!!!!! I've been waiting for this singular scene since the Our Skyy 2 trailer dropped and I finally get it. My BBS part of the brain is so satisfied right now. Not Pa and her timing again-

14. The ring, oh my gods. I kid you not when I say I literally gasped and teared up a little when Tian (and we the viewers) saw the ring. "Chief finally put the 1000th ring on my finger." Ahhh I'm screaming. It means so much for them both.

15. That post credit scene? I don't have words left for it. TianPhupha is a go! My switch stan (always) brain: happy :D

That's all for today! See you tomorrow when I sum up Be My Favourite.

If you want more clips, feel free to send a request! :D

[heartofspells]

Guess what today is. If you guessed a 5SOS5 song day, you’re right, and you get a devastating song as a reward. Today is Red Line, and let me tell you, I laughed when I realized I wound up using almost the whole song. Truly, Red Line is heartbreaking and I love it. So like, wanna see how tragic I can make Wolfstar? No? Too bad, I’m doing it anyways. Spoiler: This song is not the song for a Wolfstar with a happy ending, so like, maybe don’t read this ask if you really want Wolfstar to come back together and be happy in the Second War.

“It's hard to think when I'm not faded / I thought I could repair myself / When you asked me, ‘What's the matter?’ / The actor says he hates himself / When we collided in the morning / Screaming with the mission bell / We burnt the city without warning / Reaching out for someone's help”

There so much I could say about this, truly. This really does have the vibes of Sirius and Remus, right after Remus learns it wasn’t Sirius who betrayed James and Lily, but the damage is long done. Absolutely nothing can undo over a decade with Dementors at all hours, nor can anything change the fact that Remus and Sirius once distrusted each other so much they were able to believe the other was a traitor that planned on letting two of their closest friends die, and there’s no way to fix that. “Trust takes years to build, seconds to break, and forever to repair” and Sirius and Remus don’t have forever; it actually took years to fully shatter their trust, which might be worse, because it was a slow and steady destruction of everything they were together, and forever might not be long enough to fix that, so 2 years certainly could not be. The forest of their love wasn’t just burned to the ground on Halloween of 1981 and the following 12 years, they salted the ground as well, so they can never regrow what used to be there.

“How many times did we run from each other? / How many times did I walk out the door? / Into the dark, we're no good for each other / Into the dark, I'm not welcome no more”

Sirius and Remus tried to rebuild their relationship in the aftermath of the First War and Azkaban, but that kind of distrust is nigh impossible to ever come back from. It is almost impossible to fully trust someone again, knowing at one point this person thought you were betraying your closest friends and everything you believed in and what Sirius left behind everything he grew up with for (Sirius stepped onto the battlefield knowing there was every possibility he’d face off against his little brother or that his cousin might be under one of those masks, he believed in what the Order was fighting for so much that he was willing to risk that, and Remus still thought he turned his back on the Order and their friends, on the people Sirius made his family), and in Sirius’s case, that this person also believed him to be a mass murderer that got their best friend and said best friend’s wife killed and tried to hand his godson over to Voldemort. They’ve walked away from each other so many times, what with the mutual spy beliefs and also 12 years in Azkaban without one actual question or a trial, and they ran from each other in the First War because neither wanted to actually admit they believed the spy was also the man they were in love with so avoiding each other was as good a solution as any, and by the time the Second War comes around, there’s too much bad history there for them to ever be good for each other, no matter how much they love one another. There’s still love there, there will always be love between them, but 12 years spent believing Sirius was the traitor has ensured it can never ever be healthy, because that’s the kind of belief that ends everything. Sirius and Remus once promised each other forever, they swore they’d always be together, but the second Peter handed over the Potters and framed Sirius, the second Sirius was believed to be a notorious Death Eater without a trial, they ended. Maybe they could’ve gotten past the fact that each thought the other was the spy, the First War canonically made everyone distrust each other so it’s not like the distrust was unique to them, but 12 years in Azkaban is a hell of a thing to get past, so can they ever go back to a relationship knowing that one party spent over a decade thinking the other was a murderer that killed everyone they both cared about?

They metaphorically walked away from each other hundreds of times during the First War, never able to actually, physically go through with it because they knew it meant ending not just their relationship but sending irreparable cracks into the foundation of the entire friendship of the Marauders, this would’ve had an impact on every last one of their close friends because it meant saying “7 years of friendship meant nothing to my partner, he turned his back on all of us, I slept next to him and didn’t realize when he started lying, he was happy to work for a man planning to kill several of us, I can’t stop loving who he used to be” and they couldn’t bring themselves to send a wrecking ball through their lives without undeniable proof, because they will never stop hoping they’re wrong about the other being the traitor, but they still don’t trust each other and they’ve both put up walls between them, their trust and faith in each other has long since walked out the door.

“Lonely hours cut me so deep / The only part that gives me hell / A secret weapon no one showed me / Fall out of love you lose yourself / Every hour ticking by, I think about you / I reminisce your memory, and what did I choose? / A sentimental comedy, the joke is on you / It's on me, too”

👀

If only Sirius and Remus had trusted each other, this song wouldn’t apply to them. However, that’s not the case, which is great for me. There’s not just the distrust, but Azkaban wreaked havoc on the inmates, and removed a decent chunk of the happy memories, so Sirius not only has to know Remus really did believe he got James and Lily killed and then murdered over 10 innocent muggles, but he’s also lacking several of the happy memories they had together, there’s possible several years of their relationship that only Remus can recall, because while Sirius kept his sanity, the Dementors still caused some damage.

Also, this is totally Remus in aftermath of the fateful Halloween, thinking of all his memories of Sirius and how much Remus loved him, and Sirius killed their closest friends and tried to kill Harry. “Lonely hours cut me so deep / The only part that gives me hell” is very much Remus thinking about everything at night, when he’s no longer able to distract himself and all he can think about is how his bed used to have two people in it, but even that’s tainted because Remus cannot tell when Sirius started betraying them all, so was any part of their relationship real, or did Sirius start a relationship with Remus simply to cement his place in the Order and give the appearance of walking away from his family, the disowned Black with a werewolf boyfriend certainly doesn’t sound like a pureblood supremacist spying for Voldemort, yet that’s apparently exactly what Sirius was. “A secret weapon no one showed me / Fall out of love you lose yourself.” Sirius himself was apparently the secret weapon, just not for the Order, and that cost Remus everything. Remus noticed their relationship growing distant, but he never noticed the moment Sirius fell out of love, and Remus suspects it’s right around then that Sirius betrayed them all. The only other option for Remus to consider is that absolutely everything was a lie, and while Remus was head over heels in love with Sirius, Sirius was laughing at him and insulting him to his family, all “can you believe how stupid this half-breed is? He actually thinks he’s worthy of a Black, his delusion has no limits,” and Remus cannot tell which is worse, the idea that he lost Sirius without even noticing or that he fell for a lie. Sirius fell out of love, and Remus lost everything (Sirius thought Remus fell out of love too, and that belief also cost Sirius everything, and then Sirius lost who he was in Azkaban and someone else escaped). Neither Remus nor Sirius will ever be the people they were prior to that Halloween, they can’t find those people in the mirror no matter how much they look and they look for them every single time they’re in front of a mirror, and they can directly trace that loss to the exact moment they thought the other stopped loving them. “Every hour ticking by, I think about you / I reminisce your memory, and what did I choose? / A sentimental comedy, the joke is on you / It's on me, too” This is 100% Sirius in Azkaban, thinking of how everything went wrong, trying to see how he could suspect the man he loved but not Peter. The Dementors will not let Sirius forget for a second that the switch was his idea, James and Lily died because of his suggestion, and all Sirius had to do to prevent this was trust Remus like he used to be able to. He keeps thinking of Remus and their relationship, and he can see the bitter humor of the situation even though he doesn’t think it’s funny at all (he wants to laugh exactly like he did when Peter escaped, and god does he feel and sound just like Bellatrix, he’s starting to understand why people think he’s nothing but a Black because Bella and him are almost carbon copies right now, different only by the brand on her arm). Wanna know the punchline to the joke? It’s that he and Remus loved one another and were dating, and they never stopped loving each other; they’d heard so many times that a relationship cannot exist without trust, and they’ve both received the worst possible demonstration of how bad it can be if people try to date without trusting each other, because it cost them both everything.

“'Cause I’ve been spending all this time alone / I'm on the red line, sinking aperol / Another vessel in a winter coat / (Ooh, ooh) / Am I'm just waitin' for my time to go / I hear the whistle for the doors to close / Another vessel in a winter coat / (Ooh, ooh)”

There is nothing I can say to make this more tragic, this verse is devastating on its own, and I really think your imagination will do more than I can.

I really did write a pseudo-essay on this, this thing is over 1000 words. Sorry about that, I’m very passionate about this album

WHO ARE YOU???

Oh my god, how are you doing this? How are you breaking me like this? That's meant to be my job.

Ugh. I love this song, and it's so painful, but then here YOU come sweeping in and just laying it all out on a platter in written form and I am NOT OKAY.

(also, this was really very beautiful and so devastatingly heart-wrenching)

[sinner-as-saint]

Let Me Love You.

CEO!Bucky Barnes x Reader AU.

Run-through: Things happened between you and your boss over a weekend recently; while on a business trip. Boundaries were crossed, lines were blurred – rather salaciously. Following this; you decide to resign from your dream job because you couldn’t handle the guilt of having been so unethical. So vulnerable and open. Neither could you handle his burning stare at work, nor the craving of being under him each time you looked at him. So you decide to leave before you ruin your own career and further. But then, your boss shows up at your doorstep – determined to make you realize that this isn’t so bad after all…

Themes: smut, fluff, ceo!bucky (because I miss him)

You felt awful as you stepped into your apartment.

Sighing as you looked around; thinking about how the job you just quit had paid for this lavish home you owned currently. Removing your shoes by the door, dropping your bag and keys beside them you lazily crossed your spacious living room and stepped into the main balcony.

Given you were high up, the view you had of the city was to die for. The sun was going down, and usually you loved sunsets but you couldn’t appreciate this one as much as you wanted to. You were stressed; now jobless.

You thought back to the past week you had just hustled through. Monday was weird; he avoided you like the plague. Tuesday was the same, except you caught him staring in your direction while in a rather important meeting. Wednesday, he still didn’t say a word – except for his usual demands which being his PA you had to meet. Thursday he didn’t come to work; which then gave you more time to think about everything which happened recently, allowing you more time to feel guilty and weird.

And today, given it was Friday he was the busiest he’s been all week. Yet despite that, he managed to send you looks which spoke volumes even in crowded rooms. And you couldn’t take it anymore. You believed you were someone who wouldn’t be able to mix work and pleasure and find a healthy balance, so for the sake of your own peace of mind; you produced a resignation letter and placed it on his desk when he wasn’t in his office. And you left for the day.

You knew he always lingered at his office for a while longer on Fridays. So you were sure that by now he must have found your letter. You wondered if he felt just as awkward and weird as you did, and if so, then he’d accept your resignation without any hesitation.

You sighed one more time, taking in the cool air and the orange-pinkish sky. You walked back inside and decided that soaking in warm water and essential oils would make you feel a little better. So that’s what you went for.

 Thoughts of him filled your head as you soaked in the warm bath water. Your boss. James Buchanan Barnes; powerful name for an equally powerful man. He was the kind of person you couldn’t forget even if you tried. Respect, fame, wealth, authority, power; he had it all.

And recently, just a week ago, he had taken over you as well…

-Flashback-

Friday morning you came to work and found out that you would be accompanying your boss on a short business trip. You didn’t make a fuss, even if it meant sacrificing your days off. The paycheck you received each month made up perfectly well for it.

Paris for weekend, to attend a business conference didn’t sound so bad after all.

“Sir, I’ve just been notified that you’ve cancelled the hotel reservations?” you questioned while scrolling through your mails. While you were just a little confused by this, the man in front of you was clearly not.

Sat across you on the dark seat; well-groomed as always – dark suit, perfect hair, perfect face, strong jaw and strong built. He looked like he could be on a magazine cover. Pure, drop dead gorgeous male. Many of your friends often asked you how you kept your calm and composure around him, and how could you not want to jump his bones all the time. To which you answered; you didn’t see your handsome boss in that light.

But oh did you lie.

You were human. And you did find your boss to be super attractive just like the rest of the world did. But did you do anything about it? No. Firstly, that would be highly unprofessional. Secondly, he was way out of your league. Still, it was hard being around a man this handsome. Knowing he was single and available made it worse.

“I did.” he answered, just as confidently as he did everything else. “It’s just one night, Y/N. We’ll stay at my penthouse.” He stated.

You nodded and replied back to your assistant who had initially emailed you about this sudden change. ‘We’ll stay at my penthouse’…

You had shared residence before. Once you spent the night at his mansion because of work load. Then another time you two shared a cabin while on a trip. Once you shared a hotel room because separate rooms weren’t available. But this, today seemed a little different. And you couldn’t place a finger on what it was.

It didn’t rub you the wrong way or anything. He just seemed so cheery, which was unlike the normally slightly grumpy man. But then again, who were you to question his decisions? So you went along.

You two landed in Paris on Saturday morning. The conference was to be held on the same evening, followed by a formal party of some sort, then the two of you would be making your way back home by Sunday evening. Quite a tame weekend… until it wasn’t.

 Throughout the whole conference, you felt a pair of eyes staring at you from across the room. Meanwhile you were talking to an acquaintance – legal advisor of one of the many businessmen who were attending the same conference as your boss. Steve was a friend of a friend but you two were currently bonding more and more due to work.

And little did you know, that Bucky hated it.

He was watching. He’s always watching you. Not in a creepy manner, in a protective way. As a woman, you were somewhat oblivious to the effect you had on people when you entered a room. You never noticed it, but your boss did.

Bucky knew how every man turned their heads to look at you. How every woman envied you. And it was never about what you wore, or how you did your hair. It was always about how you carried yourself, how you walked so confidently, how you were always polite and proper. And so beautiful.

As much as he liked showing you off, Bucky hated it when he wasn’t the only one who had all your attention. Like right now. He clenched his jaw as he studied how this man approached you. Blonde hair, tall and muscular – Bucky hated him immediately. He hated him a little more after he saw how the guy hugged you; a lingering hug which Bucky never got. Then he hated him a little more when he saw how you dragged your hands down the guy’s arm, refusing to let go of him.

You never touched him like that. Bucky asked someone close by and he was told that the guy you were talking to was someone named Steve Rogers, and he was a lawyer and an acquaintance of yours.

Hmm.

He tried to look away but he couldn’t. Bucky envied the guy talking to you. He didn’t like how close he was standing to you. He didn’t like how he kept his hands at your elbows so gently, caging you, keeping you to himself. He hated it.

 Then he asked you about it on the elevator, as you two made your way up to his penthouse to get changed and ready for the party later.

“You know Rogers?” he asked out of nowhere. His tone just as serious and cold as always.

“Yes. He’s… a friend.” You smiled innocently, thinking back to how you and Steve had successfully broken the ice earlier.

Silence.

 You each took a room inside his lavish penthouse apartment. You immediately loved the place. You had about two hours before the party so there was no need to rush. You took your time, yet your mind couldn’t help but drift towards how your boss has been acting in the past hours. First he was all cheery and warm, and now he’s back to his grumpy self.

Oh well.

You stepped out of your room just in time, your boss was waiting by the foyer dressed in a signature, all black, 3-piece suit. He looked devilishly handsome.

“You look lovely, Y/N.” He said softly as you walked towards him. You couldn’t help but smile and tried to hide your face by looking down at the marble floor. Before you could recover from his rare compliment, he reached for your hand and walked the two of your towards the elevator again.

You noticed it then. The shift between the two of you.

The party was amazing. Lovely people, lovely music, nice conversations; what more does one need? Then again, you could still feel a pair of eyes on you. At some point, you dared to look up and you made eye contact with your boss.

He was staring with an unreadable expression on his face. You shook it off and went back to the conversation you were currently part of, but you could tell he hadn’t stopped staring at you.

 You two met on the elevator again after the party, on your way up for the night.

“You and Rogers seem close.” He pointed out.

You were surprised at the tone he used – that of disgust and anger. “I don’t understand what you mean.”

He scoffed, then turned to you. “Is something going on between you two?” Same tone as before.

Your eyes widened. “No. No, what makes you say that?” part of you wondered why the hell was he so suddenly interested in your personal life.

“Just asking.”

You couldn’t help it. “Are you alright, Mr. Barnes? You haven’t been yourself in the past-,”

He cut you off abruptly. By backing you into the corner of the elevator, the cold metal pressing against your back as his warm hand held you gently at your waist.

“Am I alright?” he mocked in that authoritative voice of his. “No, Miss Y/N. I’m not alright.” He confessed. “I’m not alright with you being so close to me, yet not being able to touch you. I’m not alright with seeing other men making you smile,” he inched his face closer you yours, “making you laugh, dance with you, touch you like I can’t. I hate it.”

His warm breath fanned your face. And as the metal cage got higher and higher, your heartbeat increased in the same tempo. Racing. Rushing. Your thoughts were a mess. Your body was tingling, he was so close. Too close. And you could feel yourself giving into him already.

And you did eventually.

“Then what’s stopping you?” you asked in a whisper, and you heard his little chuckle under his breath. This could be a wrong idea, but it felt right. You looked up into his piercing stormy blue eyes and you saw it; the hunger, the desire, the need.

You were sure yours mirrored the same emotions. Bucky pulled away just for a second, to press the key to stop the elevator from moving upwards any further. Then he turned to you again. “Can I kiss you?” he whispered against your parted lips, barely touching them with his own but the proximity was enough to make you lightheaded.

You nodded quickly and his mouth was on yours immediately. His lips moved against yours perfectly. He slipped his tongue past your lips and stroked the top of your mouth, driving you crazy. His kiss was just how you imagined it would be; hot, passionate, and exciting.

Your hands found their way into his hair and your fingers ran through his soft locks. He pushed his muscular body into yours even more and you gasped as you felt how close he actually was. His body heat wrapping around you.

His hands slowly reached up and slid the straps of your satin gown down your shoulders, letting it fall and bunch around your waist. He had been wanting to do that all night, especially since he saw you dancing with that guy Steve.

Bucky smirked at the sight of the flimsy, lacy lingerie you had on; which he was sure he could tear off your body in less than a second. And he did, allowing the thin material to fall to the floor. He gently touched you wherever he could; letting his hands linger at your breasts and taking his sweet time; caressing and kissing your skin. His lips trailing down your neck; kissing, licking and biting.

His mouth didn’t leave your skin as his hands slipped in between your legs with ease; caressing your inner thighs as he went. His hand slipped into your underwear with no shame, his knuckles gently stroked your wet folds; making you shiver at his touch. He chuckled upon feeling just how aroused you were. “So perfect…” he whispered.

He ran his fingers up and down your folds, gathering and smearing your arousal around as he went. You whimpered quietly against him; your gown barely covered your body. But Bucky was nowhere near complaining. In fact, he had been thinking about what you looked like under that dress since the first time he saw you this evening.

His hand gently wrapped around your throat. He gave it a little squeeze and an involuntary, playful smile formed on your face. His smirk grew, and so did the fire in him. “Like it when I choke you, huh doll?” he spoke, dragging the tip of his nose along your jaw as his other hand slipped under your skirt and rubbed your clothed core. He couldn’t take it any longer. “I need to have you.” he growled. “Now.”

He pushed his two fingers past your entrance with ease and moaned right in your ear as he felt your wet and warm walls immediately welcoming him in. He curled his fingers inside of you, hitting all the right spots which made you weak in the knees. You bucked your hips against his hand involuntarily, and he chuckled as you moaned out loud while he touched you.

Feeling more confident than earlier, you quickly unbuttoned his pants, palming him through his underwear and feeling his erection. You smirked to yourself as he grunted the moment you touched him.

“I want you…” you mumbled breathlessly. All your worries and overthinking left behind, you wanted him bad. And that’s all you could think of at the moment.

Bucky smirked. He lowered his pants and underwear, then he hurried in pulling down your underwear, letting it all fall and pool around your ankles. You stepped out of it and Bucky picked you up by your thighs and kissed you deeply while holding you between him and the metal surface tightly.

Your legs wrapped around his waist and your arms held on to him tightly. His cock briefly brushed against your wet folds in the process and you whimpered through the kiss. Bucky needed to be in you already, all he wanted was to hear you scream his name as you cum around him. So he wasted no time in aligning his throbbing tip to your dripping wet entrance.

He pushed himself into you; stretching you out. His nails digging into your skin as he held you by your hips, and yours scratching at his shoulders as he filled you up; making you whine and moan as he went. You were both gasping by the time he filled you up entirely. His body didn’t feel as foreign as you expected. You two fit perfectly.

Bucky started rocking in and out of you, without wasting any time. You felt all of him; your walls clenched around his thick cock as he started out with slow strokes and then gradually sped up into you. You felt all of him, the bumpy and the velvety skin of his length. He was perfect as he stroked your walls with his pulsating cock. You were a moaning mess in no time.  

His strong arms supported you up by grabbing you at the curve of your ass; holding you against him, as he sped up into you; showing you how much he missed you. He pushed his head into the crook of your neck and swore under his breath, all while occasionally mumbling how much he loves you and how good you feel wrapped around him.

He fucked you relentlessly; earning more and more moans out of you each time his cock stroked your walls. Your hand slid into his hair and you tugged on it each time he pushed into you. You soon felt the familiar pressure forming; pressing inside you as the familiar warmth spread all over your body. You moaned wantonly.

Bucky nibbled at the skin under your ear and you lost all control you had left. Your thoughts became cloudy and all you could focus on was how his body brought you immense pleasure; your mind a foggy mess. Your clit rubbed against his pelvic bone each time he buried himself completely in you, and he soon quickened his pace; earning even more moans and mewls from you.

He pounded into you as fast as he could, your back slamming into the wall with each thrust; it hurt just a little. Your body moved along with his like a rag doll. And you never complained once. You could hear the wet sounds that he caused and the sounds of your skin clapping against each other – it was all too sinful.

He moaned right into your ear and the sound sent shivers down your back like it always did no matter where he took you. Your legs started to shake around him as he quickened his pace; pounding into you relentlessly. The pleasure built nicely as he took you higher… and higher… and higher. Until you couldn’t hold back anymore. So, you came undone around his cock; screaming his name in the process.  

And that was one of the many times he made you cum around him that night…

 -End of flashback-

 Fuck…

You shivered in the warm water at the thought of him deep inside you; how perfect he felt, and how you never wanted to leave that bed with him in it. But then, you thought about how wrong that was; how you shouldn’t have gotten so intimate and personal with your boss. It was wrong, and unethical and a terrible mistake. But it felt good…

Stepping out of your bathroom, wrapped in a soft robe, you felt chills all over your body. Not because of the temperature, but because it felt as though you suddenly weren’t alone in your home. You panicked for a moment. Your heart racing, your thoughts racing faster.

Then you sensed it.

Sensed him.

He was here.

 “Miss Y/N.” He spoke in that damn voice which could make you drop to your knees in less than a second.

Yet you managed to maintain your composure as you slowly turned around to face him. Realization hit you a little late, and you gasped under your breath when you finally saw him standing in the middle of your bedroom. Your initial reaction was to hug your robe tighter around your body.

He looked flawless and powerful as always. Hands shoved in his pockets; accentuating his broad shoulders. That gorgeous smirk on his face. Flawless hair. Flawless face. Bucky smirked. “Oh don’t hide from me. I’ve seen it all, haven’t I?” he teased so effortlessly.

You felt your face getting hotter under his intense gaze. “How did you… how-,”

He cut off your rambling. “I own the building, doll.” he answered like it was the most obvious thing ever.

Right. Of course he owns your apartment building. He also owns half the city.

There was an air of arrogance around him at all times. And you tried so hard to hate it, but you couldn’t. It suited him; the arrogance, the power, the authority. And he sure knew how and when to use it.

You cleared your throat as you kept your eyes focused on the ground, rather than look into his stormy blues ones because they were a new weakness of yours. “You shouldn’t be here.” You mumbled, not hating that he was here.

He scoffed. “Oh?” he raised an eyebrow at you and took a few steps towards you. You were surprisingly not hysterical about the fact that this handsome man found his way into your home out of nowhere. He walked over to you, grabbed you by the waist and pulled you into him.

You had no other choice but to look up into his ocean blue eyes and you could feel yourself melting already. He pulled you closer and leaned in, gently kissing along your jaw repeatedly. You closed your eyes and tried your hardest not to sigh in pleasure or moan as you felt the softness of his lips and the roughness of his stubble altogether.

“I’ve missed you.” he whispered against your skin, stopping for a moment and kissed you at the corner of your mouth. His arms circled around you, holding you close to him. Your arms circled around him as well, slowly. You realized you had missed him as well. His warmth, his voice, his mouth. All of him.

And just like that, he took over your very being again. One touch of his lips and you were under his spell with no intention of making it out anytime soon. “I missed you too…” you whispered breathlessly as he kissed your lips gently.

But those few words from you triggered something in him. An irritation he had carried inside since he saw that letter of yours on his desk. Overflowing emotions he couldn’t handle; due to which he was here in the first place.

“Yeah?” he whispered through the kiss, then slide his hand into your hair and tugged on it to pull your face away from his. He clenched his jaw as he looked down at you. He was conflicted, should he be mad that you even dared to think you could just leave him, or should he just fuck some sense into you? “Yet you dared to leave me your resignation with no warning?” Oh. “Huh? Is that how it is now, you think you get to decide everything?”

Oh. So he was mad.

“I didn’t mean-,”

He kept going. “Shut up, babygirl.” He spoke softly. “Now you listen to me,” he inched closer, gently biting your lower lip, “You’re not leaving me. You’re not resigning. You’re not going anywhere.” He stated, then pulled away to look at you again.

There was a fire in his deep blue eyes. “We can’t keep doing this.” You tried to come up with something. An excuse. You were looking for an excuse.

“Why not?”

“It’s wrong.”

He scoffed and then smirked again. “Is it? Does being with me feel so wrong to you now, huh?” he cooed, knowing it was only a matter of another minute or two before you give into him. “That wasn’t the case this past weekend, was it?” He moved the two of you backwards, towards your bed in the middle of the room.

You knew you wouldn’t be able to resist him for too long now. But you still tried, in vain. You sighed loudly, wrapped in his strong embrace. “You’re my boss.”

He chuckled. “I know that.”

“Exactly.”

“What?” he questioned, already untying your robe as he stopped at the end of your bed.

“You know what. How are we supposed to be professional at work if we’re sleeping together?” you asked.

He smirked looking down at you. “Then let’s not be professional.”

You sighed again. “It’s-,”

He cut you off with a kiss again, sliding your robe down your shoulders and letting it fall to the floor. “Shh.” And just like that, you melted under his touch. “It’s okay babygirl, let me take care of you.”

He pushed you down on your bed and held your stare as he undressed himself; smirking as he watched how you grew more and more desperate with each item of clothing he took off. He hovered on top of you in no time.

Bucky lowered his face; pressing his forehead onto yours gently, while he pushed his erected cock past your tight entrance. You moaned out loud as he did. He grunted once he filled you up entirely, and he gave you a couple of seconds to adjust.

“Fuck…”

You were so full of his thick cock that even forming a proper thought seemed impossible at the moment. You shuddered as you felt all of him. His lips found yours again, attempting to get you to stay quiet while he rolled his hips against yours.

He removed himself and pushed himself back into you, and watched in awe how you struggled to adjust to his size. He lowered his face again, and leaned into your ear. You heard him panting and swearing under his breath as he rocked into you. Your nails sank into his skin, around his shoulders; which you held onto for dear life as he pounded into you.

“Thought you could just leave me, huh? Thought I would let you?” he mumbled right in your ear as he fucked you relentlessly. “You thought I would let you go? Let someone else touch you, pleasure you, fuck you like this? Did you babygirl?” he growled. “Answer me!”

You whined, throwing your head back and moaning at how good he felt. “No… please I didn’t-” you were breathless. You tried matching his thrusts but were unable to; so you simply let go. Your body moved against his like a rag doll.

He growled at how your walls clenched around him. “What? You didn’t what? You didn’t think I’d come back looking for you? You thought I would just let you go because you asked for it?” he accidentally let out a moan, followed by swear words. “You think you make the rules here, doll?”

He reached up and grabbed your jaw, forcing you to look at him. His blue eyes were wild and fierce; staring deep into your soul. His gaze made you tremble in pleasure. He looked so powerful. Broad and strong, hovering above you, his cock buried deep in you. Looking down at you like he owned you.

He kissed you, bit your skin, kissed your open mouth while he rammed into you; and you never complained once. Given his size, he stretched you out completely. And it did hurt, but the pleasure compensated for the pain.

Your legs trembled as you lifted them up to wrap them around his waist. This allowed him to thrust deeper into you, and in the haze he was in, he managed to mumble right in your ear about how good you felt. He was relentless, as though each moan, each mewl which left your lips only encouraged him to get more and more rough.

 At some point, right when your walls started clenching around him and when you were just about to come undone; he removed himself from you and flipped you onto your stomach and pulled you onto your knees by your hips. He kissed the back of your neck and pushed himself inside you again. You felt his hard body press against the curve of your ass as he filled you up again.

You moaned out loud at the new sensation of him rocking into you from behind. Bucky’s hand found its way to your front and he pressed the palm of his hand against your lower abdomen. He liked the thrill each time he felt himself thrusting deep within you.

His hand travelled all the way to your throat and he bent down to whisper in your ear, “Can you feel me deep within you?” he boasted as he gently squeezed the side of your throat. But hard enough to make you lose your mind.

“Please…” You could only moan and whimper in response while he kept pounding into you incessantly. You felt him quicken his pace as he chased his own orgasm. And finally he let you, and you came undone all around him – moaning his name out loud.

-

You woke up an hour later, the sky was darker and you felt a lot better than you had all week. You turned to your side and found your handsome boss passed out next to you. A smile formed on your face involuntarily.

“Don’t just look, you can touch too.” His gruff voice spoke up a second later, his eyes still closed. You chuckled and snuggled closer to him.

“So what now?” you asked, wrapping an arm around his bare torso. His body heat was something you were quickly getting used to.

He took a deep breath, smiled and lazily reached over to place a kiss on your forehead. “Now you let me love you.”

[teddy06writes]

Can I request a Karl x Alex x Nick x Reader fic in which the reader is a teacher and they bring their boyfriends in for career day? I just thought it’d be so cute to see them interact with little kids.

sapnap x karl x quackity x reader

trigger warnings: none

premise: pretty much everything from the ask, although I know nothing about children so..., sorry lol

requested by the person above as well as @eliasxxk who asked for more karlnapity x reader

(y/n/n)- your nickname

(y/l/n)- your last name

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Career day?” Nick asked.

You nodded, quickly packing up the last of the assignments you had finished grading and tucking them into your bag, “Yeah, remember how I was planning the different stations and stuff for the kids?”

“Oh yeah, I thought you had all that stuff sorted?” Karl handed you your laptop from across the table.

“We did,” You sighed, “But someone backed out and now we have a slot to fill. So, one of you, all of you, I don’t care, we still need someone to do it.”

Alex frowned, “What would we have to do for that?”

You ran a hand through your hair, “Make a presentation on what you do? We were looking for a broad spectrum and the guy who backed out was someone’s cousin who did like, animation or something.”

As you gathered the rest of your things you explained that one group or person would be set up in each classroom, and that kids would rotate through, not just the fifth graders you taught, but the whole of the elementary school.

Karl grinned, “What time would we have to be there?”

“The welcome thing for the speakers is it 9 ish on Friday, so I can bring back the forms you’d need to fill out today to get them in on time.”

Your boyfriends agreed, and with a smile you pecked them all on the lips, “Alright, I gotta go. I’ll see you later.”

“Love you!” Karl called as you started out the door.

“Love you too!”

~~

After practically zooming through your first three units, ELA, Math and History, and sending your kids off to PE, you headed down to the admin offices to make copies and grab the forms.

“Hey Sadie!” You greeted cheerfully.

The secretary smiled, “Hey mx. (y/l/n).”

You moved over to the copier, starting your copies, “Do you have any of those forms? For the people giving the presentations on career day?”

“You found someone?” Adam, the sixth grade teacher who had been organizing the career day asked as he entered the office.

“Three someones actually,” You smiled, “Alex, Karl and Nick said they could.”

“Oh, that’ll be interesting.”  Sadie laughed.

“Minecraft youtubers,” Adam mused unenthusiastically, “I’m sure the kids will love to hear about people without real jobs.”

You rolled your eyes, “They pull just as much if not more than me every year, plus Nicky and Alex are still in college.”

Adam cocked an eyebrow as you grabbed your copies, and then the forms from Sadie, “Well at least I can’t complain, your saving my ass.”

“Damn right I am,” You scoffed starting out of the office, “You owe me.”

Heading back down the hall and then up the stairs to the fifth grade hallway you pulled out your phone, sending a text to the ‘loves <3′ group chat, ‘the files have been secured’

Back in your classroom you began to set out the Novels your class had been reading, and set up the last of the things you would need for the mini science lab that would happen later in the after noon.

~~ The next few days passed quickly, and soon you were pointing your boyfriends in the direction of the library, where the volunteers were supposed to be meeting before heading up to your classroom, greeting the kids who were already inside.

“Hey guys! Are you excited for today?”

A few kids nodded.

“Which presentation are you most excited to see?”

“Probably the actor!” Damien exclaimed.

“The actor? Any reason why or you just think they’d be cool?”

“I wanna be an actor.” He said.

“Yeah?” You chuckled, “What about you Sam?”

The girl through for a moment, tapping at her desk absently, “Probably the firefighter, I want to save people like them some day.”

You nodded, “Calum? Any your excited for?”

“Well I was excited to Ricky, he’s my cousin and an animator but he couldn’t come.” The boy pouted.

“Aw, well I’m sorry about that, but I’m sure there’ll be plenty of interesting people for you to see.” You looked over the schedule again, answering a messege from Adam, willingly surrendering yourself to running around and helping wherever needed during the day, instead of watching the presentations with your kids.

The morning announcements came and went, and the teaching aid who would be taking your place, touring the kids around came in, “Alright guys! We’r~~e going down to the auditorium so that the principal and Mr. Alderton can explain the plan for today, and so that the people who are going to be in these rooms have time to set up!”

She herded the kids out of the room, smiling at you as you grabbed your phone, following them out, but turning down a different hall to the library.

Adam breathed a sigh of relief as soon as you got inside, “Oh thank god! Okay, I need you to get these lovely people to there rooms, Adda is already going around to set up projectors.”

You nodded, taking the papers from him, “Okay people! If you’d follow me, we’ll get you into these classrooms on time!”

The group of various adults followed you out of the library as you started calling out names at each floor, in between the intersection of grade level hallways, pointing out room numbers.

By the time you had made it to the cross roads between the fifth and sixth grade, Adam was already frantically messaging you about being late so quickly you called out the last of the room numbers, pointing various directions and telling the people to let themselves in.

You turned to your boyfriends, “Right you guys are in my room, it’s at the end of the hall, my computer should be unlocked.”

“You’re not like, staying to hang out or anything?” Karl asked.

“I’ve been roped into over seeing this thing. I might be in and out at various times through out the day,” You pressed a kiss to each of there cheeks before starting back towards the stairs, “Have fun!”

~~

You spent your day running around, delivering different things to various classrooms and basically doing Adam’s bidding.

A little way into the last rotation of kids around the building you finally got the chance to take a break and head back up to your room, slipping in and sitting in the back as Karl tried his best to explain streaming to a group of kindergarteners.

They may not have fully understood what he was talking about, but they sure did find him funny.

You watched quietly as your boyfriends interacted with the kids, opening up for questions sooner than they had with the older kids, and patently answering each one.

“What are you going to college to learn how to do?” A young girl asked.

Alex smiled, “Well I’m going to get real smart to be a lawyer, and Mr. Sapnap here is learning about computers.”

“What’s a lawyer?” Another kid asked.

“My uncle’s a lawyer,” someone two desks away offered, “My mom says it’s someone who works in a court!”

Alex chuckled, “You are absolutely right Big Man, lawyers defend people who go to court.”

“If you and you are goin to college,” A boy near the front pointed at Nick and then Alex, “Then what’s he learning at college?” He pointed at Karl.

“Karl isn’t in college anymore.” Nick said simply.

“Not honking smart enough.” Karl grinned as kids laughed at his use of the word honk.

They continued to joke around for a while, until the pa crackled that it was time for everyone to head back to there normal classrooms, and you moved back to the front of the room, “That was entertaining.”

“(y/n/n)! This was awesome!” Karl exclaimed.

You nodded, glancing at the clock as you began to re arrange your desk, “Theres like, maybe ten minutes to the bell, you guys want to hang out in here?”

“Sure.” Your class began to file back in as Alex spoke.

“Mx. (y/l/n)! Why didn’t you tell us you were dating famous youtubers?” Damien asked.

You groaned, looking at a shrugging Nick, “Why have you done this?”

You class laughed at your displeasure, and you were about to start asking everyone how there days had gone when Karl beat you too it.

“Who was your favorite?”

“It better have been us!” Alex stage whispered.

The kids laughed, and you sat back, content to watch your boyfriends entertain the class.

[deleteddewewted]

Hello! How are you, and I have a request if you wish to do it. So I was thinking of a College AU with Shinsou working there as a part-time employee, then one day fem! reader comes in and at first he is like “Pfft whatever” but then he brings dropping his tsunade behavior and beings growing soft for her while he got to know her and he has seen her rescue a kitten in which he asked to help co-parent their child. He is doing it to get to know her more because he fell for her, but she is a bit oblivious when it comes to ✨feelings✨. I thought this would make a cute HC/ Drabble, however you wish to do it, of how their relationship began to bloom at the local coffee shop.

AAAAHHHH!!!! YES!

Happy Birthday to Shinsou Hitoshi!💜

The most adorable, handsome, and overall best purple headed boy on the show (Fuck off Mineta).

To Take Care of a Stray: Shinsou Headcanons

Barista! Shinsou x F! Reader

FLUFF

As any college student would tell you, cheap caffeinated drinks were a must.

Coffee specifically was a must.

Shinsou was honestly debating if he needed his 3rd cup of coffee that morning or if he could just wing it and go on with an empty tank.

He procrastinated when it came to his assigned project, plus his project partner ditched him, so he was practically all alone figuring his shit out.

And thats how he found himself working at his local coffee shop.

He hated every single customer that would come in at any hour of the day that he work on.

They all demanded his attention and honestly, some days he wished he could just scream in their faces that "No, i don't give a fuck about your pet bird speaking back to you. I'm only here to make you your coffee and take your money."

The cheap coffee was worth it though, so he keeps the complaining to a minimum.

Retail is honestly a "no reward" type of job. The amount of entitlement that some people have baffles him at times.

Around his second year in college he ends up working the late shift to make some extra cash. It also meant less people coming in and demanding an overly complicated drink. Score!

The sound of the rain pouring down helped calm his nerves and allowed him to relax for moment before the door of the shop swung open.

"Oops, sorry. Didn't mean to do that." The first time you walked into the shop you accidentally pulled the door with too much force that it ended up slamming into the wall.

Shinsou immediately didn't like you.

Who the fuck was this woman?

You went up the counter and told him your order taking out your money and handing it to him.

Clean and simple. Nothing special.

Then you came back again a few days later. That really fucked with him.

Most customers came in and never bothered to talk to him. He wanted their money while they wanted the shitty coffee they sold. Easy, right?

Nope, not with you apparently. You came in and asked about his day, how his studies were going, and if anything interesting happened in the shop.

He would respond with brief answers and immediately ignored you afterwards.

You were just so annoying.

..Ok, maybe not.

You were funny, the way you fumbled and played it off as you being intentional.

The way your mouth would widen into a smile anytime he spoke back to you.

You weren't overly energetic, nor overly happy. You were just nice, nice to him.

He wasn't use to that.

You fascinated him just because you existed and he wanted to learn more about you.

He got his chance on the 5th time you came in.

You usually came in at a specific time, always when there was barely any customers, but today you didnt' show up at all.

He wont admit it but he got concerned and would keep looking at the clock on the wall and back to the door of the coffee shop.

When you finally came in, you had scratches on your hand and on your cheek.

"What the fuck happened to you?" He leaned onto his hand that was placed on the counter top. His body relaxed and only showed boredom.

In reality he was terrified, you had scratches on your hands and red streaks too. Why?

"Oh, i was just- i fell into a bush." You gave him a smile that made his heart flutter and legs go weak.

He was so happy he was leaning on the counter because he hadn't he would have fallen onto the floor.

Your smile just had that affect on him.

"How stupid can you be? Look were your going next time."

"Aww, thanks sir!"

Good mood was gone. He told you not to treat him like your friend, thats not what you both are.

...But he really hated that you took that very literally and didn't bother to at least call him by his last name.

"Hmm." He gave you your usual and answered the questions you had for him that day.

You started to come in 4 times a week and every time you did he would notice new scratches on you.

The scratches weren't that bad, he thought maybe you were one those "adventures" types, but the red marks were concerning him.

When he would ask you about them you always had a different excuse for them.

"My backpacks straps are bit rough."

"I placed my arm wrong on the table"

It was this or that but never a concrete answer.

It was happening every time you came in so something had to be wrong.

He gathered up the little cuarage he had and decided to ask you what you were doing.

"Why do have so many scratches on you?" You werent expecting him to be so blunt but you happily told him to meet you after his shift at the nearby alleyway.

He was suspicious of you but he was also curious, he desperately needed answers because the concern for your wellbeing was getting to be too much for him.

He followed your instructions and walked towards the alleyway you directed him to.

When he turned the corner he saw the most beautiful scene in the world.

You were surrounded by cats...and you were giving them food.

He could die happily then and there.

"W- this is why you show us with scratches all over you!?" You nodded but got up and walked over to a cardboard box that was tucked under a bigger box.

You told him to follow and when he crouched down to see what was in it he saw two huge eyes staring back at him.

"You've been- this little thing is the reason for your scratches?"

"Yep!"

He laughed at you and helped you feed all of the cats.

When the two of you finished up, you picked up the box that the small kitten was tucked in and gave it a pat on the head.

"What are you going to do with the kitten?" Shinsou asked you.

"Well, i wish i could take it with me but i don't think i'd be able to take care of it since i work early in the morning and have classes late at night."

Shinsou's mind started planning.

He really liked you and wanted to be around you more often.

Shit, if he was brutally honest he had a crush on you.

"Well, i have classes early morning while i work at night. So...why don't we co-pa-... i mean co-care for the little guy?" He knows his ears were red, he knows his face was starting to turn red as well.

But he wasn't about to admit that he really wanted you to say "yes".

"Uh, ok. Sure!"

Shinsou was over the moon with this and it was all going so perfectly as well.

The kitten would spend the mornings with you and in the afternoons the two of you would meet up to take care of it together.

You both decided to name the kitten Mieko.

""Beautiful blessing child", thats a cute name! Why do you want to call him that?"

"Because...i want to- y-you idiot. Stop asking so many questions!" You just laughed at him and gave him a pat on the shoulder.

Shinsou melts.

Shinsou would bring the kitten with him to work since his boss had a soft spot for animals.

Imagine how exited he was when you first invited him into your own apartment.

"You have your own place? Color me impressed."

"Thanks Shin." Shinsou blushed a little at the nickname. It had been over a month that you both agreed to take care of the kitten together.

The more time he spent with you the more he fell.

"I hope you like the umm...book." This was another thing that started after the two of you began to co-parent the kitten. He would bring you gifts and act like it meant nothing.

Reality is that he was courting you.

He expected you to make a comment on his gifts but you glossed over them like nothing.

It was getting on his nerves.

"Aah, hey. Do you want to take Mieko out for a walk...again."

"Was that a question or a demand?" You laughed at him

You made it look easy with how much you make him blush.

The more time you both spent with each other, the more Shinsou realized he was truly in love with you and wanted you to be by his side.

But he was facing a problem. You.

You wouldn't pick up on the hints he was dropping on you. His interest on you.

So one day he decides to just tell up upfront if you would like to go on a date with him.

"Hey Shin, do you want to go on a date with me?"

Shinsou. exe has stopped operations

"W-wha-"

"I'm joking buddy! But seriously do you want to go out to eat? I think Mieko would-"

"W-WHaT!? F-fuck no!" That upset you because you thought he might like free lunch.

"You could've just said no." He was losing you, again.

Fuuuuuuuck!!!!!

"N-no wait! What i wanted to say was umm, would you like to go out with me? Like a date! N-not like friends."

You both just stared at each other for a moment, the silence only making the situation worse.

"...Sure."

Mieko, your child, just blinked at the two of you.

"These two ridiculous humans are my parents, great." At least this lead to Shinsou moving in with you and Mieko having a permanent home now.

Double the pats for the two new people in your home, double the purring sounds, double the angry and grouchy cats begging for your attention.

Who wold trade this? You got to cuddle with the two most adorable people in this world.

"I'm not fucking adorable Y/n!"

"Shush Toshi or you're not getting cuddles and kisses."

"....fine."