#First official painting of the year! Also first painting of the year I've made just for me :)

[mosimyri]

Quality time 😊❤️

A bit of oil painting practice of a cute family photo <3

[becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys]

Clownfall: Endgame - Hello December

I am late writing and posting this, because it's nearly the end of term and I am mega busy (I have leave in two days and I am counting the hours...) BUT some stuff happened last week so let's dig in!

Also quick note before we do: I would like to politely request that you stop tagging this with "England" or "English politics". This is about British politics, not just England, and I am not English. Please do not erase me it takes SO LONG to write these thank you all and goodnight anyway ON WITH THE SHOW

Saturday, 25 November

12.01am

We begin our tale with Oliver Wright of the Times, who reports that … no hang on, wait, I've fucked it, okay. To understand this story, you first need to understand Simon Case.

Simon Case is a civil servant, and current Cabinet Secretary and head of UK Civil Service

He was the highest ranking public official implicated in the Partygate scandal, though he didn’t resign nor was he fined

In the Telegraph’s published WhatsApp messages from Partygate in which Tories all chatted to each other (seriously HOW do those keep getting leaked), Case made fun of holidaymakers stuck in hotel rooms by Covid regulations

In the same messages he also described some opposition to Covid restrictions as “pure Conservative ideology”, which is. An Own Goal

He also described BlowJo as a “nationally distrusted figure” whose isolation rules the public were unlikely to follow, which is true but also the Quiet Part

This information is from Wikipedia, which I’m openly admitting here, so my esteemed colleague hbomberguy can stand down.

Why am I mentioning him! Well. Case was supposed to give evidence to the Covid inquiry in October this year, but didn’t because of medical leave (ironically). In November, he still wasn’t back (should have isolated better, eh, Si), and the inquiry was given private medical information relating to Case (presumably evidence that he’s not just faking it so he doesn't have to be shouted at by angry judges and MPs and that).

So! On Saturday the 25th, eighteen and a half hours before Beep the Meep’s spectacular TV debut, Oliver Wright of the Times reports that Simon Case �� uh, before his medical leave - advised Prime Minister Rishi Sunak that he should authorise pre-election talks between the civil service and Labour. Sunak - I suspect obviously - ignored this suggestion, in case it signalled that an election is now imminent.

According to Wright, it’s now questionable whether Case will ever return to his role.

Shame.

Monday, 27 November

2.44pm

House of Commons time! Let's see what our elected representatives are up to.

Tory MP Jill Mortimer says international treaties written 70 years ago "are not fit for purpose" to tackle illegal immigration, so we need to return to the "Deport the browns to Rwanda" plan. Ugh.

2.50pm

The following was reported by Matt Dathan of the Times, so CALL OFF YOUR DOGS hbomberguy.

James Cleverly – the newest Home Secretary, chappie who described another MPs constituency as a shithole in the House of Commons in his second week on the job – says the Rwanda policy isn’t the “be all and end all”.

Robert Jenrick – the Minister of State for Immigration – says the policy is an "extremely important component" of the government's small boats policy.

So! James Cleverly and Robert Jenrick disagree on this matter! Exciting! Hey, Tumblrs, just for fun...

Let’s remember those two names.

2.58pm

Robert Jenrick says boat crossings have been reduced by more than a third in the last year, but that numbers are still unacceptably high.

FUN SELF-STUDY ACTIVITY: Take a moment to form an opinion of Robert Jenrick! It’ll be worth it.

Here is some information to get you started: Jenrick this year ordered some lovely murals of cartoon characters (Mickey Mouse, Tom and Jerry, etc) to be painted over at a children’s asylum centre in Kent. His explicit reason is because he thought they were "too welcoming" for lone refugee children arriving in the UK, and such children should not feel welcome here.

Have you formed your opinion yet? Then I'll continue.

8.13pm

Rishi Sunak cancels a meeting with the Greek Prime Minister in a row over the Elgin Marbles.

Uh, there's a lot going on here - this is about the stolen marble frescoes that should be in the Parthenon in Athens, that gross British thief Lord Elgin stole decades ago and plonked into the British Museum. Greece has been asking for them back ever since, but a small handful of old white men who are in charge of the British Museum don't want to give them back and keep stating that Greece wouldn't look after them properly, which is a hell of a claim given that Elgin literally broke one when he nicked them, and also, he fucking stole them. Anyway, it turns out to the surprise of no one that Sunak also doesn't think we should give them back, and so when the matter was raised in an Anglo-Greek meeting recently Sunak literally walked out of it, even though the meeting was actually about something else.

So HERE HE IS refusing to do any diplomacy with Greece now i.e. his actual fucking job.

This is a big deal for the immigration-obsessed though! According to a Labour source, Greece is an essential ally for any agreement on illegal migration.

And even the Prime Minister’s supporters think he’s got this one wrong.

Wednesday, 29 November

Prime Minister’s Questions!

This is the (televised) point in the week where the PM has to appear in the Commons and be grilled by anyone who wants to put the boot in about anything at all. Keir Starmer decides today is the day to do some actual opposition, pushes Sunak on several fronts, and pretty much everyone reckons this is Starmer’s best ever performance at PMQs. People especially enjoy Starmer calling Rishi the “man with the reverse Midas touch”.

This is not, strictly speaking, actually funny. But it's political humour, which is like office humour. It doesn't actually have to be.

12.22pm

A former cabinet member tells the press that the Greek government are furious at Sunak’s snub. Uh oh!

Thursday, 30 November

Disgraced former Secretary of State for Health and all round human 1950s meat blancmange Matt Hancock talks to the Covid inquiry today. Specifically, to explain why he, the then-Secretary of State for Health, led the government so badly in the pandemic that we developed the second highest death rate in the world. To hear him tell it, he was an underdog hero doing his best to fight a toxic culture at Whitehall to get the pandemic handled responsibly.

The only problem with this is that it is contradicted by everyone else’s accounts.

He is called a “proven liar” who was “unfit for the job” by proven liar and unfit for his job Dominic Cummings. Former civil servant Helen MacNamara says Hancock displayed “nuclear levels” of overconfidence and said lots of things that later turned out to be untrue. Sadly for HandCock, he said these things to cameras that were recording him onto the telly, and so we do actually know.

Monday, 4 December

Keir Starmer talked about the economy today. He won’t rule out cutting public services, and it looks like he’s trying to tell disenfranchised Tory voters to jump ship to Labour.

Hope it’s a bluff! Very depressing if he’s serious. This is nowhere near as much fun as Tories being humiliated.

21.47pm

GOOD NEWS EVERYONE!

(This is from the Mirror, you can’t destory me on your YouTube.)

Labour MP Diana Johnson proposes an amendment to the Victims and Prisoners Bill to compensate thousands of patients infected with HIV and hepatitis C through contaminated blood products in the 70s and 80s, to the tune of billions of pounds.

And it WON!  Narrowly – 246 votes to 242.  A huge deal, because that includes 23 Tory backbenchers.  That is very bad for Rishi Sunak. He he he.

Tory MP Edward Argar had tried to sort this in adance, by saying the government would provide their own similar amendment to the bill.  Basically, he realised this was a controversial bill for the party, and wanted to present a version that could be a Tory victory rather than a Labour victory and Tory humiliation.

Didn’t work.

And neither did a THREE LINE WHIP for Tory MPs to vote against the Labour plan?!?? YES KIDS YOU READ THAT RIGHT Sunak didn't want people infected with HIV and hepatitis C through contaminated blood products in the 70s and 80s to receive compensation in case it made him look bad, so he imposed a three line whip to force Tories to vote against it.

And 23 of them rebelled.

And now he looks even worse.

Lol.

Tuesday, 5 December

Have you done your homework, Tumblrs? Have you remembered those names? Have you formed an opinion?

7.38am

Home Office minister and children's cartoon hater Robert Jenrick is interviewed on Sky News.  It’s ugly stuff.  He refers to small boats “[breaking] in” to the UK.  He insists asylum seekers WILL start being deported to Rwanda before the next General Election.  And generally does big talk about cutting immigration.

What a hero.

1.27pm

James Cleverly is in Rwandan capital Kigali, as the UK signs a new treaty designed to help score the Supreme Court’s approval for the Rwanda plan.

1.40pm

So!

Cleverly’s doing pretty much what he said he’d do.  He’s trying to legislate to make the Rwanda plan safer, rather than try to disapply human rights treaties. This, of course, is the Sensible Plan, if your plan is still to get people killed, but you want it to actually succeed.

But former Home Secretary Cruella Braverman is driving a load of Tories to push to disapply human rights obligations – and she’s joined in this by Robert Jenrick!!!!

That’s RIGHT!  Hope you remembered his name, because now he’s a VILLAIN!  Or, well, more of one, and in a more immediate way. After disagreeing with Cleverly in the commons on 27 November, he’s joined Team Suella.  Tonight he’ll be part of a meeting between three different right-wing groupings...

1.46pm

The new treaty guarantees that, if these plans go ahead, asylum seekers won’t be returned to countries where their lives or freedom are threatened, and creates a requirement for an independent monitoring committee.

This treaty would be great if we lived in a world where the Supreme Court trusted the Rwandan government to honour treaty obligations.  But we live in the world where NOT having this trust was part of the reason the Supreme Court ruled the plans unlawful.

Even if this wasn’t the case, we still need new legislation, and that’ll be way more controversial than this new treaty.  The legislation was said to be ready by Thursday, which is a very short turnaround that only a lunatic would believe, but in a SHOCK DISAPPOINTING U-TURN the government now refuses to commit to this.

In any case...

This is causing cracks in the Tory party.

10.33pm

The Parliament's Christmas tree lights are turned on! 

It goes as well as anything else in Parliament:

A visual representation of the Tory Party schism.

Wednesday, 6 December

8.21am

Boris Johnson arrives at the covid inquiry.  He will be questioned for two days.

He he he

10.26am

Johnson is asked why around 5,000 WhatsApp messages were lost on his phone from January to June 2020.

Steffan made this brilliant meme. Please do not grass me up to hbomberman.

11.33am

It’s clear by now that Johnson wasn’t alert to the danger of covid by February 2020.  Johnson says it wasn’t declared a pandemic by WTO yet, and he wasn’t asked about it in PMQs. Gosh! What a good point, maybe!

Until the KC points out a troubling fact: “You were the Prime Minister.”

Ah. Yes. PMQs are irrelevant, you see – the Prime Minister is allowed information that the opposition aren’t. 

And, indeed, he probably would have had, if he'd actually attended the five Cobra meetings about it that would have briefed him on it just as the virus was being discovered.

12.49pm

2.24pm

I’m skipping most of this stuff, since it’s normal lies and non-specific apologies from BJ.

But this one’s interesting.  Matt HandCock claimed he told Johnson on 13 March to call a lockdown.  There’s no written evidence of this happening.  Johnson outright contradicts it.

Lol

5.43pm

Cruella Braverman rejects Sunak’s Rwanda bill.  It fails the five tests she claimed his bill would need to pass.

These are tests she made up and published in a newspaper, I should stress, like they don't exist and she is not an authority. This is a bit like if I marched into your house, dear reader, and went "You are not allowed to celebrate the holidays this year because I personally said you have to pass my tests first and you haven't", and I'm pretty sure if I tried that you would drop me in a bin and laugh at me.

But, she has many supporters on the Tory right...

5.48pm

The Sun’s political correspondent says that if the Lords try to block emergency legislation, some Tory MPs reckon Sunak should call an election, fighting on Rwanda.

I desperately want this.  I DESPERATELY want this. They’ll lose that election so badly. SO badly. God, likes charge reblogs cast.

6.53pm

The villain Robert Jenrick … RESIGNS!

Oh no!  This is not good news if you’re the Prime Minister.

Fucking fantastic for the rest of us, though

7.26pm

Jenrick publishes his resignation letter on Twitter.  It’s two pages long, claiming the PM’s Rwanda plan basically won’t work.

Jenrick’s not wrong about that, but I speak as someone who doesn’t want any version of the Rwanda plan – not the monstrous Sunak one, and certainly not the hypermonstrous Braverman one. Good. Thanks for confirming, Darth Bell-end.

8.31pm

I enjoyed this tweet.

8.52pm

Sunak writes back to Jenrick, claiming the new plan WILL work.

Which is not normally what happens?!? Normally they yell about their current madness in a letter, publish it on Twitter because no one else cares or will agree, and get roundly ignored. But, desperate times! Here, Sunak’s challenge is to try to win over the Tories who don’t believe in his ability to deliver the plan.  It’s a big ask.

So what are we left with?

10.37pm

A senior figure on the Tory right is asked whether their side will kill Sunak’s bill. 

And they’re not sure! If it’s the only offer on the table, it seems sensible to vote for it. 

BUT the right wing of the Tories aren’t famously very sensible.  They’ll probably try and add amendments at the very least, but it’s genuinely possible they’ll reject it out of spite, because they are LUNATICS.  Or as a political move to weaken Sunak.

And that's what you missed in the Tory Civil War!

(Up to last week)

[kozachenko]

(Click the image for better quality)

Yipeeee that Keiki and Mayumi fanart I posted the WIP of is finally done woooo- This piece was a very experimental one that I'm kind of OK on. Maybe because I've just gone insane looking at it for so long and I'm my own worst critic lol.

Artist's Notes;

So I've once again been playing around with my rendering style, mainly because I have been wanting to improve my lighting for a while now and as I was just scrolling through Tumblr, I saw some of the official art for that one webcomic-turned-animated-TV-Show Lackadaisy and was immediately inspired. I also have seen a technique a few times in the past where the lineart and shading are merged together, so I've been meaning to try that for a little while.

I did some experimentation on this one sketch of Keiki I posted in my sketch dump and I really liked the results of it, so I carried those over to this piece.

I ended up scaling up Keiki and Mayumi from the original WIP because I felt like they were both getting lost in the composition, and I'm glad for that because I think it works a lot better. I'm not a fan of how Mayumi's sword turned out at all, but it's not really meant to be the focus of the piece so eh. Overall, I think I could do better with my colours, probably because with Keiki and Mayumi's colours, I did them flat in greyscale and then used a brush on the overlay blend mode to colour all of them over, after which I changed the base layer for their colours from white to yellow and then lowered the opacity so it all went together better. I also decided to use gradient maps for a lot of the background elements, mainly to experiment with getting in my values first to make them pop out more. I ended up finding a really nice sky gradient on Clip Studio Paint that I really liked, and that kinda helped to establish the colour scheme of the background a lot. I think the whole "start in greyscale then colour" thing really works better with painterly styles rather than more illustrative ones, and while it is good at making sure your values are more readable, I honestly don't think I have the skill level to pull that off yet. Honestly, I think I've been looking at this drawing too long or maybe I added too much to it, but I wish I could've made the colours less monochromatic, but I'll just save that for the next piece I do.

I do love how the flame (...well it's more of a weird space rift than anything in this piece) and the lighting turned out, those were fun to do. I was initially struggling with the flame and how Mayumi is positioned in front of it before realizing "Oh wait! This is a weird abstraction of a weird creature! I don't have to follow the laws of anatomy!" and just dislocated it's flamey bottom jaw from the main body. I also changed the colours of it since I was really not liking how incredibly bright it was when it had lighter colours. Again, the gradient maps served the more painterly style of the flames well.

I also love how Mayumi turned out. I could do her sleeves better but that's more of just me needing to study how those types of sleeves fold in that position more. I'm also very happy with the posing, the technique I used for that was taking photos of myself in the positions I wanted, blocking in the silhouette and then modifying that by adjusting it to my lines of action that I drew on top of the original photos, and then sketching over the silhouettes and drawing in the shapes of the hands overtop of the photo if I needed to get the fine details right. As for what I do to take the pictures myself, I use a tall chair I have, prop up my phone with a phone stand, put on a ten second timer and scramble to get in position. Yes, I did have to use a bunch of thin markers I had to try and get the hand positioning on Keiki's pose right, yes I do have a fake sword that I used to get the positioning of Mayumi's arms and hand right, the sword was for an old Halloween costume from several years ago. I really like how both Keiki and Mayumi turned out in this drawing, I'll have to play around with these designs for them more in future drawings.

Also, if you wanna know why I draw buildings like that, when I watched Fantasia 2000 as a kid (One of the Disney movies where they make really beautiful animations to classical music) the way they drew the buildings in the first few sections Rhapsody in Blue segment (the jazz one with the cities) changed my brain chemistry and now whenever I need to draw buildings really quickly, I refer back to that. Since the buildings aren't really the main subject, I didn't put much thought into them.

As you can tell I am very tired of this piece, mainly because I made things harder for myself by overcomplicating the process compared to what I usually do, mainly with the whole "starting in grayscale then adding colour." I'd honestly just prefer having a black layer set to colour that I can just toggle on and off when I need to see the values, but it was good to experiment. And that was mainly the point of this whole drawing, to experiment. I'm definitely going to have to play around with this new style I'm going for, mainly because I liked how it turned out a lot in the augmented Keiki sketch, and also because I want to find ways of making it suit my style more. I also really want to keep experimenting with my lighting like this, it's very fun. Last but not least I am never starting in greyscale again because dear god I do not like the workflow it forced me into. I don't have a problem with the method itself it's mainly just a skill issue lol.

If you wanna read my headcanons for these two, I put them in my WIP post, so you can read them there if you want to. The more I look at this the more I prefer the simplicity of my WIP. I might go back to this and just take away the fancy colours and effects to see what it looks like without all of that stuff and reblog this post with that drawing, but for now, I don't think I can look at this drawing again for a while.

[drdemonprince]

i'd like to say sth abt the x gender marker thing. i've just started getting the paperwork done for it myself, and although its an exhausting grueling bureaucratic pricess, it's filling me w the kind of joy i last felt when i got my first hrt prescription. i know i will have constant difficulties in a system of institutions that have no official way of dealing w nonbinary identities, and i fully expect the openly white nationalist party in my country to become a significant influence in national government within the next 10 years. i also have an escape plan of sorts, but i'm fully expecting that i may be legally detransitioned again. i would still be betraying myself fundamentally and stealing joy from myself, something that i get to have very little of, if i didn't do it anyway, bc i already cannot access plenty of services including healthcare bc i'm simply too dysphoric and institutionally traumatized to show up and be misgendered. there is no such thing as stealth or passing for a nonbinary person in the society i live in, only erasure; i might as well exercise this tiny amount of power i have been given for a brief time to force them to acknowledge me as who i am. i agree that having one's gender be irrelevant to one's personhood, including legally, would be vastly preferable, but i don't see how me getting an x in my id detracts from or otherwise influences that. my government already has plenty of ways of getting lists of trans ppl if they ever want one. i may be painting a target on my back, but as far as i am concerned, it is already there bc i am already incredibly vulnerable and restricted as a trans person for whom passing or stealth is not an option. i might as well get marginalized for who and what i am and make them look me in the eye at a doctor's office while they awkwardly tell me they don't have the infrastructure to process me as a patient than cringe and stammer while i tell them that actually i'm transgender and i would prefer for them to address me as this or that while knowing damn well they just see me as a quirky woman that they may or may not humor for hashtag diversity's sake. they may still do that ofc, but for all the risks and trouble i am incurring, it also corrects the scales of institutional power just a tiny bit in my favor by giving me legal grounds to argue. i'm also terrified of the police for good reasons, but i'm more terrified of them as a misgendered and scared but not out trans person unsure if and how much to advocate for myself than i am as someone confident enough to at least get hurt for who i am, rather than for who i am not and hiding out of fear of worse punishment. i am not advocating for anyone else to do or not do the same bc it is a subjective and highly varied set of risks and rewards that must be personally evaluated, and above all i'm very aware that as a white (not us) person, for all the institutional violence i have previously endured, i would be risking far worse if i were not, but as far as i am concerned, it feels like one of the best, most powerful things i can do for myself right now is to get the damn papers even if in the worst case they end up taking them away from me again.

Thanks for sharing your experience. I remember that when I was nonbinary and not medically transitioning, I felt much the same way. I was ready to really throw myself on the pyre for the sake of just actually being seen as not the gender I had been forced to be, for once. And honestly? Nothing short of medical transition did that. All the changes to my personal style, hair, comportment, voice training, the pronoun pins, the asserting myself, the putting pronouns in my email signature, the changing my medical forms and documentation at work to make me nonbinary, none of it made what felt like any lick of difference in how i was treated, because nonbinary identities are so thoroughly erased. The ONLY thing that got people to start treating me as gender ambiguous or to they/them me was to begin to transition as a trans man and use he/him pronouns, lol. (And eventually, most people did switch over to actually gendering me correctly as a guy, tho I still do get the they/them once in a while which annoys me and it's always VERY telling who tends to do it).

I don't know your situation or if you have medically transitioned in any fashion or not, or if you even want to, and our stories are different, but all of which is to say, I know how immensely frustrating it is and how confining it is to interpreted as your assigned gender seemingly no matter what you fucking do, and that sensation of being willing to take on serious risk to be seen. if anything that was part of what tipped me over into self conceptualizing as a gender nonconforming man rather than outside the binary altogether. different risks that i chose to take on, but still, the decision to take on risk rather than be locked away inside how people saw me.

I think structural nonbinary erasure runs so deep that very few individual level actions can make a dent in it and it's maddening. Of course there's all the intersections with transmisogyny that also impact who is visible as trans and who is not and who finds themselves yearning for greater visibility and those for whom visibility is nothing but massive vulnerability that itself cannot be escaped. But I understand that you've considered everything carefully and are aware of the risks in what you're taking on, and I hope that it does mean you don't feel that confined unseen feeling anymore. Because as much as I'm qualifying things I do know how fucking awful that sensation is and how few avenues there are for doing a damn thing about it that people will take seriously.

[nicoline1998enilocin]

hey love, i have a request if you’re up for it

my birthday is this friday and i was wondering if you could make a Bucky birthday fic, it could be smut, fluff, both, anything i want you to let your creativity run wild

i love your fics and i know this one will be amazing🩷

Bucky's Big Birthday Bash

PAIRING | Fiancée!Bucky Barnes x Fiancé!Avenger!Female!Reader

WORD COUNT | 2.9K

SUMMARY | You've been secretly planning Bucky's birthday, and even though he said he wanted to keep it small, you're gonna give him the best party he has ever had after missing out on 70 years of birthday parties.

WARNING(S) | This is your official trigger warning. Do not proceed if any of these topics upset you. Very light angst, swearing, smut [ grinding, oral (M receiving), throat fucking, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it), squirting, multiple orgasms, overstimulation ].

A/N | Thank you so much for the request, @multiversefanfics, and I wish you the happiest of all birthdays and that all your birthday wishes may come true! Enjoy my little present from me to you, and I can't wait to see more of your work, too! Yours is just as amazing after all 🖤

Likes, comments and reblogs will be very much appreciated 🩷

Divider is made by @firefly-graphics | 18+ banner is made by yours truly

Main Masterlist | Bucky Barnes Masterlist

''Hmm, good morning, doll,'' Bucky says as he turns around, reaching out to pull you close to his chest, but to his surprise, he's met with an empty space on your side of the bed.

''Doll?'' he says as he sits up, unsure why your usual space is now cold and lifeless. Usually, you're there every morning to cuddle up to him, share kisses, and start the day slowly.

Right now, something feels off to Bucky, and he can't quite place it.

He gets out of bed and walks through your shared apartment, calling your name a few times before finally spotting the note on the kitchen counter next to a cold cup of coffee. Yours, he presumed.

J,

I'm on an emergency mission with Tony + Steve. I'll call when I can.

Love,

Your doll

The handwriting is rushed, and he sighs. He hates mornings like these, even though he knows the feeling. Bucky has also been called out for many emergency missions, making it more lonely.

He pours the mug's contents into the sink and makes some black coffee in that same mug. It's your favorite, but whenever you're not there, he likes to use it as a reminder of you.

When the coffee is gone, he changes into a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie to go for a run through New York; he has to burn off some energy in a different way now that he can't have you first thing in the morning.

The mission is a success, but you decide not to let Bucky know you're back for just a few more hours, using this time to work on a surprise for Bucky's birthday with Steve in his studio.

You have asked Steve to paint a portrait of you and Bucky from the night you got engaged based on a few photos that somebody took, and he's more than happy to help you out.

''I still find it hard to believe he has been planning on proposing for such a long time,'' you tell Steve while sitting on a chair that's pulled next to him.

''Believe me, I've been there every step of the way, and he was so nervous he couldn't do it the first few times,'' Steve says as he's mixing some paint to finish the night sky in the background.

''Excuse me? Did you say-'' is all you can say because your phone is going off, and you see it's Bucky calling.

''Hold that thought,'' you say as you pick up.

''Hi, Hubby, is everything okay?'' you ask, worried; Bucky usually doesn't call unless it's an absolute emergency.

''Hey, I'm sorry for asking, but when do you think you'll be home? I haven't seen you in almost a week, and JARVIS tells me the mission is done. I miss you and your cuddles,'' Bucky sighs as he admits he's been waiting for your arrival home.

''It's okay. I have a few more errands to run, and then I'll be home. Shouldn't be more than a couple hours,'' you tell him, even though you feel bad for lying.

''Oh, okay. Be careful, and I love you, Bubby,'' he says with the defeat laced through his voice.

''I will, and I love you too, Hubby,'' you say as you hang up.

You look at the canvas again while Steve is working, and tears start welling up in your eyes, thinking about how lucky you are to have met this gorgeous man you'll call your husband soon.

When you sniff softly, Steve suddenly stops and looks at you.

''Are you okay?'' he says as he sets his supplies down and grabs your hand to pull you in for a hug.

''Sorry, yeah. It's just that it's- well, it's hard not telling him what I'm planning for him. I hate keeping secrets, especially from him,'' you sigh as guilt slowly creeps up your spine.

''You should go home and see him. I know he'll be more than happy to see you,'' Steve says, and you know he's right.

''Alright, and thank you again for doing this; you're the best,'' you say as you head out and back to your husband-to-be.

This time, it was Bucky's turn to be called in for a last-minute mission, and this gave you the perfect opportunity to get everything ready for his birthday without worrying about him finding out.

The painting Steve had done turned out to be perfect, and you thanked him by taking him out for lunch, which he hesitantly accepted.

''Steve, please! Let me repay you for all your hard work with lunch. It's the least I can do!'' you said, and he finally gave in, so the two of you got some delicious bagels for lunch.

Now you're busy as the Compound, where you're decorating one of the smaller ''party rooms'' as Tony calls them, to celebrate his birthday with the Avengers.

Bucky told you that even though he's okay with celebrating his birthday, he doesn't want a huge party or anything. Just dinner with you and a movie is all he needs, but he also knows that's probably different from what he will get.

Sure, with the help of Tony, you've got a reservation at one of the fanciest restaurants in New York on his birthday, but the rest of the evening will be lowkey with some presents, drinks, music, and dancing.

You've got a huge banner that says ''Bucky's Big Birthday Bash!'' in black and gold; it says ''Happy 106th Birthday,'' the colors matching his Vibranium arm.

All the presents from everyone are neatly arranged on a table, and yours, standing in the center of it all, is by far the biggest.

The rest of the room is decorated with little garlands, small triangular flags, and simple decorations. When you're done, you look around the room again, and when you're happy, you lock the door behind you so no one can come in unsupervised.

Later that night, Bucky gets home just in time for his birthday, and you're delighted to have him back right on time.

It's the morning of Bucky's birthday, and you're planning on surprising him first thing in the morning. You slipped out of bed a little earlier and changed into a gorgeous set of red lingerie and stockings.

You're preparing breakfast for him in the form of pancakes, and you got him his favorite fruit as a dessert, the plums already waiting in a bowl on the kitchen table.

When Bucky's alarm goes off, you're in the bedroom but not lying next to him. Instead, you've seated yourself in the big armchair in the corner, waiting for him to notice you.

''Mornin' doll,'' he says with his deep, rumbling voice, and you can't help but feel yourself grow wet at the sound.

''I'm over here, J. I've been waiting for you to wake up,'' you say, and his eyes scan the room and immediately grow wide when he spots you in your lingerie.

''Well, happy fucking birthday to me!'' he says as you get up and walk over to him.

''Happy fucking birthday indeed,'' you say as you push him down and get seated on his already hard dick, slowly grinding back and forth while you work your tongue into his mouth.

Deep groans come from his chest as you keep the same slow rhythm while precum slowly dribbles from his cock to make a damp patch in his underwear.

''Want me to clean you up?'' you ask with innocence in your eyes, but Bucky is well aware that you're intentions are anything but innocent when he sees the outfit you're wearing, but he's not mad at it.

''Please,'' he says, and you crawl down his body, leaving soft kisses in your path as you work his underwear from his body. You throw it to the side and place your hand around the base of his hard cock.

Your lips wrap softly around the tip, and you suckle, making him buck his hips and work deeper into your mouth.

''Jesus, doll,'' he moans as you take him slowly into your mouth, sucking your cheeks in as you do until your nose is connected with his pubic bone.

You keep bobbing your head up and down until Bucky's hands find their way into your hair, and he starts thrusting up into your mouth and throat until you're gagging around him.

As he does it, your nails are buried into his thighs, and you try to breathe through your nose unsuccessfully.

When you tap his thigh twice, he lets up, and you can finally breathe, a few strings of saliva running down your chin and connecting to his cock, making you look extremely fucked out, combined with the glossed-over eyes.

''You're gonna be the death of me, doll,'' Bucky says, and you just smile before taking him into your mouth again, hollowing your cheeks and sucking until he's shooting his cum deep into your throat, forcing you to take every last drop.

When you let go with a wet pop, he immediately pulls you up and moves your panties to the side so he can slide in with one thrust.

You let out a broken moan, and your head falls onto his shoulder, unable to hold itself up at the pleasure you're feeling.

His hands slide over your sides, down your hips, and onto your ass which he grabs before planting his knees on the bed and fucking you thoroughly.

''F-fuck, Bucky! Y-y-yes!'' you say between his thrusts and your moans, and you can't help but cum quickly, squirting all over his cock, legs, and the bed.

''Fuck, such a little slut for me, huh? Squirting all over me like the dirty fucking slut you are?'' Bucky says that his pace doesn't slow down even a bit, and soon you're overstimulated.

''B-Bucky, please! C-can't!'' you whine as he keeps rutting his hips into you, but he's not done yet. He knows you would use your safeword if he goes too far, so he keeps going.

''C'mon, just need one more, and then I'll cum for you,'' he says, and shortly after you do, feeling the orgasm set your insides on fire as it washes over you with incredible power.

''G-gonna cum, doll!'' he says, and he does, painting your soft, velvet walls with his cum as he keeps slowly thrusting as he works through his orgasm.

''You did perfectly for me, doll, always doing so good. You took me so well,'' he says as the two of you stay like that for a little while. He pulls out and cleans you up with a warm washcloth when he's gone completely soft.

''C'mere Bubby,'' he says as he pulls you close to him, his Vibranium arm soothing as he places it on your heated face.

''Love you so much,'' you babble out, and he smiles as he places a soft kiss on your lips, making sure he's gentle not to overwhelm you.

The two of you spend the rest of the day eating your breakfast and getting ready for Bucky's birthday dinner you've planned, and when you walk out of your walk-in closet, you show him the red lace dress you bought for this occasion.

Your hair is curled to perfection, and your make-up is light with a bold red lip that matches your dress perfectly. You put on your black heels and twirl a few times to show him the finished outfit.

''Hold on, there's only one thing missing,'' he says, taking off his dog tags and hanging them around your neck, where they fall perfectly between your breasts.

''Now it's perfect,'' he says, and you can't help but smile at him.

He changed into his birthday outfit, too, and after his hair was done, the two of you headed to the restaurant in your car. Since you two are the first to arrive, you decide to head in and get seated so Bucky can adjust to the atmosphere and stay calm later.

''Good evening, we're here for the reservation under the name Stark,'' you tell the lady behind the counter, and she nods when she finds it.

''You two are the first to arrive, but I suspect the rest of them will follow soon,'' she says as she guides you to a private room. Tony went all out for this, and you're making a mental note to thank him later.

''I can't believe you planned this for me; you know I would have been excellent if it was just the two of us, right?'' he asks, and he takes your hand, stroking it with his thumb.

''I know, but tonight is all about you, and even though it's just us and the other Avengers, I still wanted you to have a special night,'' you tell him, leaning in for a soft kiss.

The two of you are wrapped up in some small talk when the rest of the Avengers and Thor and Loki join in. Loki and Bucky may not be friends, but he promised to be there because you asked him to be.

Everyone is celebrating Bucky and you, and when it's Tony's turn, you can't help but thank him profusely for arranging this dinner in the private room.

''Thank you so much for doing this; it means a lot. And I promise to repay you for all of this,'' you say, but Tony laughs softly as he puts his hands on your upper arms.

''You don't have to repay me for anything; I'm doing this because I love you, okay? This night is all about the two of you, so this is all on me,'' he says, and you pull him in for a hug.

''Just know that I'm eternally grateful for everything you do for us,'' you say, and he smiles.

''I know. Now let's enjoy this dinner!'' Tony says as he sits down, and you do the same. It is a five-course meal; of course, Bucky and Steve have no problem eating it all.

When dinner is done, you're all on your way back to the Compound, and Bucky can tell you're getting cold. ''C'mere, you can have my jacket,'' he says as he shrugs it off and puts it on your shoulders.

''It looks better on you anyways,'' he says, and he places a kiss on your cheek, which makes you giggle softly.

Once you arrive at the Compound, everyone goes to the room you've prepared, but you stay behind with Bucky since you want it to be a surprise.

You have the perfect distraction figured out as you push Bucky into a nearby wall and start attacking him with kisses on his jaw and neck before giving a deep kiss on his lips.

Bucky's hands found their way to your hips, and he pulled you closer, reveling in all the attention you gave him. ''Bucky, we should go for one more surprise,'' you say once you finally manage to break apart.

''Do we have to...?'' he asks with a slight pout, which you kiss away.

''Yes, but after that, I'm all yours to do with whatever you want as your birthday present. You can even tie me up, and you can use whatever hole in whichever way you want,'' you whisper in his ear before nibbling softly on his earlobe.

''Fuck...'' he groans out, giggling softly before pulling him to the room where the other Avengers are.

Bucky opens the door, and everyone is there, yelling ''SURPRISE!'' as he walks in.

''Happy birthday, J,'' you say as he looks around the room, and he can't help but smile widely.

He's opening presents and getting everything from a few new knives for his collection to a cleaning kit for his Vibranium arm. Steve gave him a photo album with all their most precious memories, including a few photos from the 40s that he thought were forever lost.

Last up, however, is your present, and you walk over to get it.

''I will tell you in advance that you should thank Steve for this one, not me, because he helped me create it. I asked him to recreate one of our most special moments together as a reminder that you're stuck with me for the rest of our lives!'' you say, and everyone laughs loudly.

Bucky takes it and gives a small peck on your lips before ripping off the wrapping paper. Inside is the canvas Steve worked on from the night the two of you got engaged.

It's the two of you at the hiking trail where Bucky proposed, and the sunset is behind the two of you. Bucky is on one knee with the ring box popped open, and your hands cover your mouth as you realize what's happening.

Bucky has tears in his eyes as he looks at the canvas in front of him, looking back at the moment with nothing but fond memories.

''It is perfect; thank you so much for recreating this memory,'' Bucky says as he puts it on the floor and his arms wrap around you. He lifts you and captures your lips in a deep, loving kiss to thank you for the thoughtful gift.

''I love you so fucking much, and I'm the luckiest man in the universe,'' he says, and the two of you stay like that for a little longer.

After that, it's time for cake, drinks, and music, and the night is filled with laughter, happiness, and the feeling that everything is just how it is supposed to be.

You and Bucky have been dancing almost all night, and now you are sitting in an armchair in the corner, straddling his lap as his hands or on your ass. Neither of you cares as you are too wrapped up in your make-out session, and this night couldn't be more perfect.

[dolljunk]

I am a long time Wicked fan and if anyone knows me they would know I've loved Elphaba for such a long time that it's influenced my way of customising and figuring out how to paint, reroot and sew for my perfect Elphaba doll.

I'm honestly am super hyped for the Wicked movies because I think the casting decisions aren't the first thing you'd think of for the musical, but they're really fun and different choices. I'm also hyped the movie split the musical in two since I do find the writing between each song to be really brief and break neck, so spending even a few more minutes between each song to expand the world will be an easier transition for auduences that don't watch musicals.

So imagine my disapppointment that the first glimpse of official fashion dolls for the movie are dolls with the trademark Mattel (lack of) quality fashions and pretty poor screenings (Glinda's doll having nose contour makes her a "wait til clearance" doll for me).

My biggest issue is that there's no variation in screening or hairstyle for each character so there's no real incentive for me to purchase any more than one of each character, especially since the fashions are poorly constructed, made from subpar materials and lack even basic things like hemmed edges or finished backs.

So while, maybe 10, or 15 years ago, I probably would have been super excited that Mattel was making dolls of the movie, it's been a bit of a disappointment that I'm not picking the best of the best to be my first movie Elphaba doll, I'm choosing the least of the worst and being willing to pay full price.

I'm also really sad the packaging is just cheap blister packaging since I would have liked to keep the box as a memento of the movie since it does kinda sting paying £30 for this.

I ended up picking Ozdust Ballroom Elphaba because she has the most detail in her outfit and if I was gonna pay £30 I'd wanted a doll with a fully constructed outfit. Of course, there's implications of layers but they're all sewn together and the fabric itself is really cheap and bad feeling.

As a big Wicked fan, I'm really disappointed but I guess I finally have Elphaba in movie form.

[illuminatedferret]

The Mortal/Political Backdrop of TGCF

Another part of TGCF I've been quietly fascinated with is just how many of the major gods in the heavenly court are around 800 years old. Obviously we've got Xie Lian, Feng Xin, and Mu Qing(plus Hua Cheng), but Rain Master? Already ascended by the time Xianle's civil war began. Ling Wen was a junior official during Xie Lian's first ascension. We know Yushi Kingdom fell a few years after Rain Master ascended, and Pei Ming ascended himself not long after that. That's 5 of the highest ranked officials in the Heavenly Court(re: lantern count) and Yushi Huang, who as we all know, is the real boss in town.

Why does this matter? Here's one reason.

This backdrop paints a picture of the mortal realm that otherwise goes unaddressed. Principally, that 800 years before canon was a time of significant political instability. Not only was Xianle in a civil war, but the kingdom of Yushi was facing aggressive overtures from the kingdom of Xuli and would fall in short order(although it's unclear if it fell before or after Xie Lian's ascension), and Xuli was also facing persistent, growing civil unrest and dissatisfaction, and would eventually fall after Ling Wen made the Brocade Immortal. While we are given a minimal timeframe for these events, it feels like it isn't a stretch to say that the kingdoms of Xianle, Yushi, and Xuli probably fell within, at most, 50 years of each other. Which is kind of nuts. But it does help explain the existence of "the Royal Capital" in present-day canon, which initially confused me. Over the 800 years before canon, we know of the fall of 5 separate kingdoms. Rather than new kingdoms replacing them as they fell(ignoring Yong'an, I mean), their territory was probably absorbed by nearby kingdoms in an era of consolidation until we reach present-day, where characters refer to a "Royal Capital" without saying what kingdom it belongs to, because by the time of book 1 there is only 1 kingdom ruling over the entirety of what is allegedly ancient China. (probably an empire at that point...)

[wheredostarsgowhenyoudie]

Once upon a time when employees are being interviewed at SI:

.

.

Interviewer: So what is it like working for Iron Man?

Employee A: Oh! Easy question. I like that. It is an honor, you know. It's what I thought when I joined, and it still is now. But also, I did not expect that SI is a place where we are allowed to prioritize things like family. Like last time, I left my phone on silent at my desk cause I had to go to a meeting. My kid at home was having an emergency and I couldn't be reached. But apparently, Friday, Mr. Stark's AI, keeps track of phone vibrations so she made the report and someone came to notify me. I didn't even know there was a protocol for that. Turns out my daughter was having her period for the first time! And I'm a single father so I had no idea what to do and I was panicking. Next thing I know, an SI nurse came and apparently she was sent by Mr. Stark to walk me through how to help. Apparently, Fri also caught my panic rumblings and triggered 'YOU ARE NOT ALONE PROTOCOL' or something. (*laughing*) The next week, we received an official email introducing a new department called Human Care. They encourage everyone to reach out if we ever find ourselves out of our depths on non company emergency matters.

.

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Interviewer: How long have you been working here?

Employee B: Eight years, two months, six days and counting.

Interviewer: What's the weirdest thing you've witnessed here?

Employee B: (blanks out)

Employee B (struggling to think): Ahm. Really? Just one? Er- That's a tough one. Maybe that one time they set up a room for everyone to try lifting Thor's hammer? Or wait, no, maybe that time there when flying roombas were everywhere following Mr. Stark and reminding him to eat? Or when a villain came via the vents but before he could come down, Hawkeye accidentally hit him with pepper spray? I don't know, man. Weird things happen a lot. We're used to it by now.

.

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Interviewer: Do you feel safe working here?

Employee C: Yeah. The avengers live here. But to tell you the truth, I think Happy Hogan and his black tux team of agents scare all the potential bad guys away. I heard rumors that Black Widow personally trains them. Like, I know two of them. Jake, for instance. He's like a giant, and he is intimidating but I saw him crying one time and when I asked him why, he just said Mr. Hogan.

.

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Interviewer: Which avenger have you met?

Employee D: Oh, I've met two of them. Captain America and Thor. It was odd but one time, they were in the cafeteria and carrying trays of food and I do not mean just one each. Nope. Like, a ton! Like they're feeding an army. But it makes sense. Can you imagine the workout? With bodies like theirs? And the battles they go to? Man, if I have to save the world from aliens, I'll probably need the same nutrition.

.

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Interviewer: Which avenger is the kindest?

Employee E: Ahm...We all know they're all badass. But kindest, I think Spider-Man. Last Thursday, it was raining, and then Spidey suddenly came all wet and holding a box and I'm gonna quote him now. He said, "Friday, can you please ask Mr. Sam Wilson Falcon sir to come down? The shelter is close and I have a box of puppies and I really, really want to bring them up but Mr. Stark is gonna ban me from the lab again."

Interviewer: Aww. So what happened next? What did they do with the puppies?

Employee E (grinning): Falcon came down, alright. But he came with Iron Man who zoomed past everyone to drag Spidey to the penthouse. I am not sure what I heard but he was muttering about oven toasters and frozen spiderlings? In the end, aome employees volunteered to take care of them. But I believe two of them are at the avengers' floor. We saw Mr. Stark ranting about puppy paw paint marks on his armani.

Interviewer (gasps): Oh my. Was he mad?

Employee E (ends up laughing): Mad? Try grunting fondly? Peter really likes those puppies. Mr. Stark tried to act like he hates them but really, he adores everything about the kid, puppies included. He even had custom made collars with avengers logo made for them.

.

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Interviewer: I'm sorry? The Winter Soldier was asking directions to where?

Employee F: The Lego Store.

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Interviewer: How would you describe the workload? Do you still get work life balance?

Employee G: I guess it depends. I work in R&D and we're all nerds there. So like, we're typically busy but it's play for us. Some days, we're really cramped with work, mostly when deadlines are nearing or sometimes, we're just really in the zone, we do not want to stop. Peter activated 'NIGHT NIGHT PROTOCOL' for that. Had Fri lock us out of the lab and we had no choice but to go home or nap at the sleep wing. And would you believe? After the product launch, we got emails on mandatory vacation leaves with bonus to spend! Like, who does that? So yeah, it's cool working here.

.

.

And then, there was this:

Interviewer: How does it feel to be the heir of a multibillion dollar top green tech company?

Peter (stares quizzically, dumb-founded): Uhhh-....Look, sorry, I think I'm in the wrong room. I'm not- Maybe you got the wrong questionnaire? I'm just an intern-

Interviewer: Oh. Wait. Is it top secret then? Sorry, I was told of your identity as Mr. Stark's kid so I thought I could ask. But if you're not comfortable-

Peter: WHAT!?? Who said that? They're probably just joking.

Interviewer (chuckles nervously): Ms. Potts did actually.

Peter (freezes): Oh.

Suddenly the door opens and Tony walks in.

Tony: Hey kid, and Ms. Carrenland. How's the interview going? Thought I'd drop by for moral support, you know.

Peter (looks torn, but excuses himself to go to Tony): Uhm, Mr. Stark, can I talk to you for a second? Look, sir, ahm, I think there's been a misunderstanding. The interviewer asks me how it feels to be your heir. Like that's real. I don't-

Tony (has his brows rising to his hairline): Kid. Peter. Breathe.

Peter (groans and sighs embarrassingly): I just didn't want to lie! They mistook me for someone else. It was a misunderstanding!

Tony (smirking): It's really not.

Peter: What?

Tony: Kiddo, I was the one who gave Pep the approval to sign the questions. And really, you've been managing the R&D department and shadowing Pep at management for a year now. You never wondered why I make you do that?

Peter: Oh.

Tony: Yup. Genius child here.

Peter: I just wanted to help. You seem stressed out with the Avengers' work and dealing with the government. I thought I could lend a hand. I didn't- I don't expect you to- I'm not worth that, Mr. Stark.

Tony (scoffs): I beg to differ. Look, I'll be honest with you. Even if you aren't interested in the company, it's still gonna be yours. Look around you, kid. Do you think I let just anyone go around with a free pass at my tower? You have a room at my home. This place is your home, as where as everywhere else that I own. Plus, it's another motivation for you to take care of yourself when you go out as Spidey. Imagine all our employees. They need you, kiddo.

Peter (mumbling softly): I'm just Peter Parker.

Tony (smiles and pats his shoulder): And that is why I chose you.

[katarh-mest]

us election in ffxiv terms

I've seen a few people trying to paint Kamala Harris as Wuk Lamat, and I think that's an incorrect assessment. Wuk Lamat would have been closer to AOC running for election the first time - qualified, but had to prove herself by winning.... and she did.

No, the current US election is the choice between Lord Vauthry and Admiral Merlwyb.

Lord Vauthry

Nepo Baby. Daddy was rich and powerful so he inherited rule automatically. Elections? There is no such thing. Who needs democracy when you have stability?

Authoritarian. Follow his rules and obey, and be safe. Defy him, and get fed to the fishes.

Sometimes articulate. Sometimes descends into toddler temper tantrums.... considering he still has the husk of his infant toddler human self lodged in his armpit, that's not surprising.

Has no real vision for the future, just wants to stay in power because he believes the world is ending, and so do his people.

Also wants to stay in power to protect himself above all.

Doesn't understand what is wrong with him his entire life.

Let the poor eat meol.

if you're not part of the 1%, you're a slave and he doesn't care about you.

He loves the poorly educated. They will never question him.

Picked his right hand man because there wasn't anyone else really good for the job. He's not actually scared of Ranjit Vance but Ranjit is now just as enthralled as anyone else and can't say no to him even if he wanted to.

Admiral Merlwyb

Pirate's daughter professor's daughter but climbed into politics under her own merits

Looks younger than she is

Experienced, veteran politician now with 20 years of service

Will be the first to admit she's made some mistakes, but has grown and learned her lessons from them

Wants to protect her nation's interests, but will rise to the needs of global problems when required

Allows dissent among the citizens and open criticism of her rule without fear of retaliation

Figured out a solution to keep the pirate crews in check by making them official privateers and giving them free reign to loot the Empire. Tricky problems require tricky solutions. Are they perfect? No. But they're better than anarchy.

Surrunds herself with genuinely good advisors, instead of sycophants. Picked former pirate Eynzahr Slafyrsyn Governor Tim Walz as her right hand man because she knew she needed someone to help her come up with creative solutions to those tricky problems.

Certified badass. Kamala Harris can crack an egg one handed, Admiral Merlwyb can shoot a gun one handed.

Anyway, the choice is pretty clear to me. I know which badass lady pirate I'd rather have in charge of my ship for the next four years.

[desertdollranch]

Opening and reviewing my first Australian Girl doll

She spent more than a month in a box, making her way halfway across the world to her new home, and now here she is! I'm so relieved that she arrived safely. It was the longest I've ever had to wait for a doll, and through much of her journey I didn't know where she was or when she would be here.

I don't want to drop too big of a spoiler, but listen to this........ she was so worth the wait, and the money. This doll instantly won my heart with how exquisite she is in every way.

Australian Girl dolls were specially made for Australian children, by Helen Schofield, a grandmother who loved dolls. She created the brand when she couldn't find an age appropriate doll that was locally available or good quality. So she created these dolls to help children feel pride in Australian culture, while teaching them about friendship and empathy. There are five girls to befriend--Amy, Jasmine, Emily, Bronte, and Matilda, each representing a different region of the country, ethnicity, and lifestyle.

The company itself has quite high standards. They strive to reduce waste in their product packaging, and they use a factory in China that treats its workers humanely and does not use child labor.

If you've been around my blog for a while, you know how much I love collecting diverse brands and types of play dolls, especially international dolls. Also, this one will be extra special because I actually have an Australian grandmother--she's also a doll collector, and I'm looking forward to showing her my new doll the next time I see her.

After the cut, I'll show you who she is, and talk about why I chose her. I'll compare her with similar-sized dolls as well, and have her do some dressing up.

Before we get to the unboxing, let's check out the little goodies included with my doll.

First is a little pamphlet explaining why the dolls are special, but also represent real girls growing up in Australia.

There's another pamphlet about how to care for your doll.

All of the dolls come with a fun freebie: this cute pair of thongs.

Another freebie (a $30 AUD value) is this very sturdy doll carrier with pockets for accessories.

I also bought a pair of sneakers for my new girl. I figured her feet would be a bit larger than my other dolls, and these are cute, so she now has three pairs of shoes to wear.

Anyway. Enough of the small stuff. Let's let her out of the box.

It's Amy from Adelaide!

I chose Amy after three entire years of being indecisive and going back and forth on exactly which Australian Girl I wanted. They're all equally adorable, so I picked Amy because her personality seems very sweet, and I love that she has mixed heritage. According to the Austrlaian Girl dolls website, Amy's family tree is a mix of Aboriginal and Dutch on her mother's side, and English and Indian/Fijian on her father's side. Very representative of modern Australia!

I have no regrets. She is perfect!!! Just the most charming little angel. I am officially WOWED.

I'm seriously impressed at the superior quality of her construction. I understand why she was priced a bit higher than similar dolls. She is, from head to toe, beautifully made, with so many sweet details. Her dress and shoes are also impeccably made and feel very durable.

Her hair is flawless. It's a Kanekalon wig with loose curls, in a gorgeous shade of brown. Her eyes open and close. She has both painted and attached eyelashes.

She has a gap between her big toe and the next toe, so she can wear her sandals and thongs.

Her elbows are dimpled and she has subtle blush color on parts of her skin, including elbows and hands.

She has a crease across her palm.

She has articulation at her shoulders, hips, and neck. Her limbs, head, and shoulders are vinyl, and she has a huggable soft tummy. I don't really have a strong preference for either cloth torsos, vinyl torsos, or half and half like Amy. They all have pros and cons. This specific construction is nice in that she can wear low-neckline clothes without showing a cloth body, but it does make her harder to repair in case she has to be fixed.

I have a pretty good idea of what she'll be wearing when she's ready to change out of her pink party dress.

The first photo shows her in a dress I made. The second is a Maplelea dress and hat. The rest are all American Girl brand clothing, except for the shoes. Amy can comfortably wear most stretchy clothes by AG and similar brands like Our Generation, but her feet absolutely will not fit AG, OG, or Maplelea shoes.

The exception to the clothes is some of the tighter pieces. This AG shirt did not fit well. Amy's shoulders are a bit more broad than smaller dolls, and so without some extra give this is too tight.

Amy is 20 inches/51 centimeters tall. Here she is next to my Our Generation doll Jordana. I'm using an OG doll because they're actually available locally in Australia. Whereas American Girl dolls, which I usually use when I compare brands, have to make an overseas journey. So it's only fair that I consider any Australians reading this now who are wondering how Amy compares.

Amy is tall, but not the tallest doll in the family! Here she is next to Fernanda, my Karito Kids doll, who is about an inch taller although slimmer. Karito Kids dolls are in fact just slightly skinnier than American Girl dolls, so they have a much easier time sharing clothes.

In conclusion, I highly highly recommend this doll. She's absolutely sublime! I'm so thrilled to have her here, and I'm looking forward to having lots of adventures with her.

Obviously I'm far from Australia, but my Amy will still live her life as if she were in a suburb outside of the city of Adelaide. I've been looking at pictures of the geography of the state of South Australia, and there are some places in the mountainous parts that look pretty similar to the desert southwest where I live. So Amy will have no idea she's actually in the USA. Don't tell her the truth!

[x-bee-x]

Tonight I watched BBH. I've checked in on him before, I've watched parts of streams, I still appreciate and care about him lots. But it just hasn't been the same since QSMP. And tonight I watched the full thing, and what a stream to watch all of.

He said he was going to build offrenda alters, with fans on the server he's playing on, and it started with Richarlyson. Watching everyone come together to build the most incredible little statue and all the things they included because it was a reminder of him; such as a paint brush with colors of the rainbow coming from it above him, the chancla, and a skateboard; and all of us in chat as well as Bad saying some of our favorite QSMP moments and memories between them; like when Richas made Bad laugh so hard he fell out of his chair, and Bad saying that Richas' admin played Bobby the later half of the Dio De Los Muertos even when the eggs were missing and that he and Roier cried for like half an hour after it was over cause they just missed each other when everyone was done streaming; it was the most beautiful and fun and emotional thing. Then we all said how much we love and miss Richas as well as how much we love and thank his admin, I got that screenshot, and Bad said "goodbye Richas, and also hello again, thank you for everything."

And when everyone had let their allergies happen, we went onto him officiating said fans weddings. There were five of them by the way. And he started off by reading a small script of sorts for the first two, then finished them off with improvising and doing things like thanking the galactic empire and saying "you can kiss each other or something I guess if you want." And it was ridiculous and the best way to follow up and we were all laughing so hard.

Then he played Marbles with chat for a couple rounds.

And it just. It was all really lovely and fun. And it was kinda weird, like going back to him in particular and not liveblogging. I definitely still watch streams, and I still liveblog a little, but you know. I loved it, and I still do, but it's not the same. And I kinda miss it, but I also kinda like not having to feel almost pressured into blogging about everything in a way, and just hanging out with my friends or alone. But yeah, I missed him. Oh also, I can't believe it's been six years since BBH met Skeppy, happy muffinversary guys

[csleko]

Oops. I blew up the BIONICLE planet.

Again.

ANOTHER remake of a thing I did in 2005. Like, damn. 14-year-old Leko was REALLY getting into this stuff AND not being very good at it!

In this case, it was actually my first ever Flash animation. Well, the first one that was actually intended to be a thing and not just screwing around with random things to figure out the program.

I was firmly ensconced in the BIONICLE fandom from 2003 to around 2008, so pretty much everything I made during that time period was BIONICLE fanart of some type or another, and posted to BZPower's artwork forum.

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy movie was also coming out that particular year. Or might have already when I made this. Point is: I wanted to try recreating the exploding Earth from the trailer, and I wanted to be able to post it to a BIONICLE fanart forum, so instead of Earth I blew up Aqua Magna and the island of Mata Nui.

You MIGHT think I could have gotten away with just downloading a high resolution render of the island and slapping it on a sphere to make the planet in the remade animation.

And you'd be right. I COULD have done that.

But you'd also be wrong, because I didn't do that. I found a high res official render, imported it into Blender, traced the outline onto a heavily subdivided plane in sculpt mode, filled it in with more sculpting, vertex painted the textures onto it, then placed it beneath another plane with the ocean texture on it so the island would clip through.

Oh yeah, the actual animation was a lot of fun to figure out. Really got to play around with physics and particles after previously devoting so much time and effort to finding ways to avoid them. And the motion blur really adds a lot to the relatively simple effects.

This might be my favorite remake I've ever done, and I don't know if I'll top it.

[1d1195]

Screens II

Read the first part here: Screens

Another thank you to my 🪁-anon. Without you and your kind request, this story would not exist. I hope you enjoy this part as much as possible. Thank you to the following anon's for their support, I don't have names or emoji's for you but here are the kind messages I've received patiently waiting for a part 2: one and only Screens fan, #1 Screens fan, and this one that sobbed while trying to finish reading it. I did not mean to exclude anyone, I typed Screens into my blog's search bar to gather this information.

Finally, this anon provided a good chunk of the inspiration.

I hope you all enjoy it. I wrote it in a sense in a series of flashbacks and you will see this ◊ to indicate the difference in flashback scenes vs. my standard * to indicate a bit of time has passed.

"Okay on with it, lady. You talk to much." --Everyone reading this (probably).

Harry wasn’t so distracted by how pretty she looked with hair and paint falling across her pretty skin and over her beautiful face that he missed her saying the word ‘if.’ A hopeful sign that she believed in a miracle even if she was too scared to say so herself on any given day. Part of him also noted and hated the idea of her finding an apartment without him; even after a mere nine months of being in absolute love with her. He wished he had asked her to move in right then.

December | Holiday Break | 8:30 AM

Harry was extremely mindful of announcing his presence around her because he hated how jumpy she got when anyone else spooked her because she didn’t always see them coming around the corner or something. He especially did so in the quiet of the morning or the stillness of the evening. “Angel?” He called into his apartment. It was chilly on their first day of holiday break from work. Harry wanted her to stay the whole week with him. She couldn’t deny she didn’t want the same thing. He ventured into the winter air and returned with hot coffee, foam on top just as she liked.

They’d been together, officially, for a little over a year. But having known her a bit for the better part of a decade, it was easier than he ever thought to be in a relationship with her and he wished that he had thought of it long before last November. “Mm,” she hummed barely loud enough for him to hear as he approached his bedroom. “M’sleeping,” she mumbled against the pillow as he made his way across the room.

He chuckled quietly and set the coffees on his nightstand before slipping back under the covers with her. She rolled herself on top of him, legs on either side of his hips and her face pressed against the front of his shoulder. She was scrunched against him like a little ball. “Don’t move.”

He wouldn’t have if someone tried to force him to move. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed the side of her head. “Coffee’ll get cold,” he mumbled, rubbing his fingers against the back of her head. She sighed but said nothing. “C’mon, kitten. Y’told me t’not let y’sleep late,” he cooed and kissed her again.

“I lied,” she murmured. He chuckled. “M’too heavy, that’s it, isn’t it? Want me off you?” He rolled his eyes and squeezed her tight against him.

“No, y’silly thing.” She lifted her head up and hovered above him for a moment. She didn’t speak but she lightly drew her finger over his features. He watched as her eyes squinted, sliding over the trail of her finger in silence. She did this at least once a week. Usually when they saw one another on the weekends because they had more time than their Thursday night ritual. “What are y’doing?” He asked her.

Her cheeks reddened and she shook her head. She didn’t say and Harry let it drop. He always let it drop when he asked. Part of him thought nothing of it, surely it was for a portrait—a painting or a drawing she was working on. She had seen her do it with a rose, tracing the thorns carefully; or the arm of a park bench, admiring how it looked in the afternoon light.

Nonetheless, he enjoyed the way her fingers felt on his skin. It was one of the many things she taught him: using his sense of touch so much more.

Carefully he tightened his grip on her as he rolled the pair of them onto their sides to face one another. He brought his hand to her face and gently brushed his thumb across her lips and then traced his finger over her brow line, over the bridge of her nose, before settling his hand firmly against her cheek. “When’s your appointment?” He asked.

She sighed and shook her head. “Noon,” she mumbled. He gave her body a gentle squeeze as he held her.

“It’ll be alright, kitten.”

“I can’t teach if I can’t see,” she reminded him. “I’m sitting right in front of you, and I can hardly see you,” she whispered quietly.

He frowned and reached behind her for her glasses on the other little table beside his bed. He slid them into place, mindful to not catch her ear or pull too hard against her hair. He smiled at her. It made her stomach flip because Harry was by far the most beautiful person she had ever met. “I love your glasses,” he whispered. She rolled her eyes and shook her head.

“I look like a librarian.”

“The sexiest librarian ’ve ever laid eyes on,” he promised and ignored her snort. “Not only do they help y’see, but they help me see. S’like they magnify your eyes. Swear I can see everything you’re hiding in that beautiful brain of yours,” he murmured and pressed a kiss to her forehead, right between the rim of the glasses hovering over her eyes.

“They look like coke bottles.”

He shook his head. “I think you’re gorgeous,” he promised and pulled them down slightly and pressed a kiss to each of her eyelids. Silently he hoped and prayed to whatever god was out there that her appointment would give her good news and make the ache in her mind and heart lessen just a bit. He didn’t care if she needed glasses by any means or if her eyesight got worse. None of that mattered to him at all. He just wanted her to be a little happier than she was before.

*

Over the past year, he had seen so many stages of her grief. He saw the anger she felt when she missed a step and dropped her food outside the restaurant causing a mess all over her shoes and the entry way. It made her eyes water as she asked the hostess if she could have some towels to clean it up so no one would slip on their way out. Harry helped her clean it up and even placed the quickest to go order ever made so she could have extra for lunch the following day and promised her it was no big deal that she spilled.

 He watched her sadness as she couldn’t see things in plain sight—like the ever-hiding remote always evading her vision. Or when she accidentally put cinnamon in her pasta dish because she swore it was paprika.

The pain that puckered her eyebrows together all because her glasses and the screens at work bothered her so much.

Harry begged her so plainly to ask him for help. He had the phone pressed to his ear as he laid his head back against the sofa. Her voice made his stomach knot in the best way—she made him weak in the knees and the only thing he regretted about dating her was not doing it sooner. “I’ll bother you,” she whispered into the phone.

“Kitten, of course not.”

“If you’re hanging out with friends, and you need to come get me because it’s raining at night...and I can’t drive myself home?”

“Then I’ll say, ‘sorry lads, m’princess needs me.’ If they have a problem with that, s’on them,” he said simply with a shrug.

She released a quiet giggle despite how much she didn’t want to. “You’re much nicer to me than anyone I’ve ever known.”

◊

But she wasn’t always so down about it. Sometimes she had a really good sense of humor about it. Harry didn’t love it all that much though. It hurt him to hear her joke about something he knew in his heart hurt her quite a bit. But he was glad she could be in good spirits about it.

“Listen,” she said almost a month after their first kiss. “You’d be surprised how often someone says, ‘what are you blind?’ You’re just going to have to roll with it. It’s okay. I’ve heard it a lot and I say it to myself sometimes. I’ve been working on new comebacks but so far ‘legally, no; spiritually yes,’ is my favorite.”

Harry felt a wave of awkwardness wash over him, but she just continued to smile this gorgeous, bright smile that he had no choice but to let her make her joke.

And if he did say ‘What are you, blind?’ a few days later, well... at least she had warned him.

◊

Harry read to her sometimes. It made her feel like a little kid, but he didn’t dwell on it. He acted as if it was completely normal for a boyfriend to read out loud like a kindergarten teacher to his girlfriend. She snuggled up to him in his lap and glanced at the pages every so often as he held the book in front of them. She had to be careful though because Harry’s voice was so soothing and even though she loved to hear him talk, there had been many chapters she missed because he accidentally put her to sleep with his melodic voice.

◊

Sleeping together in the quiet parts of the night were some of his favorite times. Whether something more intimate happened between them or not. Night was when he felt most attuned to her. Harry couldn’t see any more than she could. Touching her, feeling the goosebumps he left in the wake of his fingertips against her skin made him much more aware of how touch could bring him to his knees for her. He also paid close attention to her near silent, soft whines of pleasure or how her laugh seemed so much brighter in the dark.

But listening to her speak at night might have been one of his most favorite things. “Why did y’leave me after that party?” He whispered. It bothered him a bit when they first started dating.

Her face was pressed to his chest, her finger moving over his face as it always did, this time focusing on the shape of his jaw, outlining the scruffy remnants of hair growth since he last shaved. “Why would you want to be with the near-blind girl?” She shrugged.

It took him no time at all to answer. “Cause she’s perfect.” She smiled and pressed a kiss almost touching the cross necklace that dangled between the sparrows on his chest.

She never asked him again if it mattered to him if she’d go totally blind. Not since she asked after their first kiss last November. He said it all right then at that moment. She believed him so easily because no, she hadn’t ever thought about it. There wasn’t a time when she thought that maybe she wouldn’t go blind. So, for Harry to believe it was possible was more than enough.

◊

Harry worried about her a lot more than most people did a lot of the time. More than her family who were so used to her poor sight it didn’t even phase them when she handed them the wrong cups or passed along the wrong items because they weren’t clear enough about where they were. More than strangers who would roll their eyes at her when she bumped into them on public transport.

But mostly herself because while she had been living with bad eyes for so long, it took Harry some getting used to the ins and outs of the harder things she had to do. One day they painted two canvases together, spinning them back and forth between them for five minutes creating fun little landscapes that didn’t make any sense. “Would y’ever want a seeing eye dog?” He asked. Harry was a terrible painter, but he’d do anything to spend time with her doing her favorite things. “Bet we could get you a really cute pup,” he smiled.

She smirked so cutely, and she wiped her hand across her forehead to get a piece of hair out of her eyes. In doing so, she painted a stripe of pink paint across her forehead, making his heart feel so jumpy with love for her. “Maybe if I went totally blind,” she shrugged. “Would need to find an apartment that allows a cute dog too,” she reminded him. As if a seeing-eye dog wasn’t an exception to most places.

Harry wasn’t so distracted by how pretty she looked with hair and paint falling across her pretty skin and over her beautiful face that he missed her saying the word ‘if.’ A hopeful sign that she believed in a miracle even if she was too scared to say so herself on any given day. Part of him also noted and hated the idea of her finding an apartment without him; even after a mere nine months of being in absolute love with her. He wished he had asked her to move in right then.

◊

Loving one another didn’t come without some hardships either.

Once more she found herself bumping into someone. Harry had gone ahead to the car to get to her door and naturally the moment he left her side she was nearly falling flat on her bum. However, the person bumping into her was quick, caught her around the waist before she hit the ground. “Oh, easy love. You alright?”

“I’m so sorry,” she said quickly.

“Hardly your fault, love. Don’t be sorry,” he smirked. “S’easy to fall for me,” he winked at her.

She gaped in surprise. Harry wasn’t surprised in the slightest because she was by far the most adorable person on the planet let alone that street. “Excuse me,” Harry said flatly. Harry eyed the arm around her waist that didn’t belong to her or himself, and the man turned his attention to Harry.

“Oh, of course you’re taken...Someone as beautiful as you would have to be,” he released his grip from her. “Sorry, mate,” he said to Harry and then winked at the beautiful girl.

Harry grabbed her hand and marched quickly toward his car without so much as another glance in his direction. “Harry,” she whined as he tugged her. He wasn’t rough, exactly. She didn’t think it was possible for him to be rough with her even when he was grumpy. Her mind flashed to that very first day when he looked at her with so much annoyance for getting food all over his clothes and then separating him from his friends.

Harry often got so protective of her that it came across as overbearing and every so often, he couldn’t help but feel jealous when someone else helped her. She had done so much on her own for so long the idea that she didn’t need him or worse, needed someone else made him so utterly sad that he had a hard time expressing how upset it made him. “M’sorry,” he whispered.

“Sorry? Why?”

“Jus’...I get so sad when other people help you,” he frowned. She turned toward him in her seat. “Not because I don’t want them t’help you. But because...I jus’ like helping you. Makes me think y’don’t really need me,” he mumbled. “I know I wasn’t always...so outwardly nice t’you. Think I was a bit of a dick,” he said quietly. “Think it would make a lot of sense if y’found...someone that swept y’off your feet right away.”

She reached out and cupped the side of his face and leaned forward to kiss him on the lips briefly. “I need you, always. More than that...I want you,” she said softly. Harry felt like a lovesick teenager at her words. Wanting him really was so much better than needing him. Because she didn’t. She was wonderfully independent and had done so much on her own for so long, she really didn’t need him. But wanting him around? Harry loved her so much he wondered how he ever could have been without her. “So much it feels like I need you.”

He leaned forward to steal another kiss and she smiled, her glasses bumping his forehead a bit. “I love you,” he promised.

She smiled. “Would you like to know when I fell in love with you?” She asked.

He blinked at her response. “Well, sure,” he nodded.

“When you held my hand at the party and walked me to your room...it was like...I don’t know, I felt like a princess,” she told him. “You totally saved me. I had no plan. No escape. I just didn’t want to bother anyone.”

He smiled at the memory. “I loved sleeping with you,” he winked. She pushed him gently and shook her head. “No really, y’looked so cute in m’clothes. Wanted you t’stay in my bed forever.”

“I bet you did,” she mumbled.

“Ha-ha,” he rolled his eyes. “Never would have thought your cute mind would constantly sit in a gutter, kitten. Yes, of course I wanted that,” he grumbled making her laugh. “Really I jus’ wanted you.”

“You want me too?” She wrinkled her nose making her eyes crinkle at the corners and Harry turned fully to hold her face between his hands. He leaned in to brush his lips over hers like he did the first time he kissed her. She gave the same little whine she did. It went right through his heart.

“What gave it away?” He mumbled against her lips.

◊

“What if it’s hereditary?” She whispered in the dark.

Harry turned to face her even though he couldn’t see anything in the darkened room. He could feel her breath and the anxiety in her voice was so palpable he could feel her voice. “Then...who better to help them than you?”

She shook her head. “I wouldn’t wish this on the people that made fun of me,” she mumbled. “I can’t imagine a child like me,” she admitted quietly. “It was so hard.”

Harry frowned and inched closer to her. His nose bumped into hers, he brought his hand up to her cheek. What he said next, he meant whether he was part of the future or not. With everything in him, it was one of the truest things he ever told her. “I can’t think of a luckier child than one like you, m’love.”

◊

It wasn’t always about her eyes. There were pictures they took and vacations they enjoyed. He loved her family and how they made him feel like he was part of her holiday traditions. Gemma and his mum adored her and asked about her more than they asked about Harry.

She had the best jokes from books she read. Her art was beautiful and taking walks through the park with her were some of his favorite dates he’d ever been on.

It was five months in when he told her he loved her for the first time. “You are the most beautiful woman I know,” he said. She smiled at him with the lightest touch of pink painting her cheeks. She made him stop and proceeded to lie in the middle of the sidewalk to capture a picture of the sky between the branches of a tree on the unseasonably warm April day. Harry took his own picture of her doing just that. “See?” He asked, showing her the picture he took.

She looked at the picture momentarily and then back at him. “You think I’m beautiful?”

“Of course, kitten,” he rolled his eyes. “Inside and out; the kindness and warmth you have inside you is probably jus’ a fraction of the beauty y’display outwardly for someone like me that falls in love with you every time y’smile,” he grabbed her hand continued walking down the street enjoying the spring air. She was quiet for the length of the road and when they stopped to wait for the light to change at the crosswalk, she looked up at him at her side.

“You’re in love with me?” She asked.

He blinked in surprise, feeling a bit tongue tied. He chuckled awkwardly as he glanced at her. “Uh...sorry... I should have waited...said that in the privacy of your apartment...or mine, or something. Not in the middle of a busy street.”

She smiled and shook her head at him. “I love you, too.”

The light changed and back again, but neither of them noticed because he was too busy kissing her while the crowd moved around them.

◊

Sometimes she got so angry and frustrated with herself that she would accidentally take it out on Harry. Like the time she didn’t see how close her fingers were to the knife and nicked herself good. Not enough to need stitches or even a trip to the minute clinic, but enough to make Harry ooh and ahh over her. “Angel,” he murmured after she ripped her hand away from him.

“Stop,” she sniffed. She wasn’t in pain—at least not from her little wound she inflicted upon herself. “Just stop.”

He frowned and pressed his lips together trying not to overwhelm her with his worry. In those moments, he stood waiting patiently. Eventually she would say sorry, and he would shake his head. “You don’t have t’apologize t’me ever, m’love...not ‘bout this.”

He knew this was hard for her. Every time she hurt herself or dropped something, it was a reminder that her eyes weren’t working the way they were supposed to. The last thing he wanted was her spiraling and worrying about what would come next.

But he wanted her to know that whatever it was, he would be right beside her. Seeing for her even if she couldn’t.

*

December | Holiday Break | Lunch time

She never let Harry go into her appointments with her. However, he made sure he was the first one to meet her at the door right outside the office because her eyes were almost always dilated. It amplified how difficult it was for her to see where she was going. After nearly bumping into someone as she exited, she apologized awkwardly. Almost instantly, Harry was there looping her arm through his elbow. “Hey beautiful,” he said kissing the top of her head. He didn’t say anything else. Didn’t ask about the appointment. He knew better. She would say something if needed.

He opened her car door, helping her into the seat and placed sunglasses over her eyes to protect her widened pupils. He kissed the space where her forehead met her hairline and closed her safely in the car. Once inside the car himself, he drove off, planning to get her more coffee because she hated these appointments and Harry wanted to treat her for being brave even when she didn’t want to be. She leaned against the window and didn’t speak. Harry placed a hand on her leg, and she wrapped her fingers around his. He gave her a squeeze and continued driving silently.

“They have a new... cutting edge surgery they want me to try,” she whispered to the window.

He squeezed her hand again, glanced long enough to see her contemplative reflection in the glass. “How d’you feel about that?” He asked.

“Nervous.”

He smiled weakly. He wished he could look at her, but he knew talking about it was easier when he wasn’t looking at her—even if she couldn’t fully see him. Harry ordered at the drive through and then continued driving to a little spot by a lake. It was still so chilly outside—even at the warmest part of the day. There was steam coming off the water from the warmth of the sun beating off it. She took a picture of it on her phone and Harry knew the look of concentration on her face was trying to figure out how to recreate the steam in a painting.

They were sitting on the hood of his car. It was still warm from the engine and Harry had a blanket laid over their laps. She leaned back against the windshield holding the coffee cup upright to keep her hands warm. Harry turned to his side to look at her. He brought his hand to push her hair away from her forehead and he traced along her hairline. “Do y’want surgery?”

She sighed. “I wanna be able to see.”

He smiled gently and gave her cheek a kiss. “Will it...get worse? If y’try it?”

She shook her head. “No more than the risk of a regular surgery. It won’t be perfect. I’d still need glasses. I’ll still have trouble seeing. But...I won’t go blind. It’ll either stop it from getting worse or it won’t work,” she shrugged.

“Sounds like you have nothing t’lose then, angel,” he murmured.

She was quiet for a second. “I trace your face so much because I worry, I’ll never see it again,” she whispered. Harry was speechless...all those times he asked her what she was doing... He never thought that was her reason. “I want it to be muscle memory,” she explained. “So... if my eyes...if I can’t see anymore...I hope I can sculpt it from memory,” she whispered.

That beautiful word ‘if’ made his heart so full of love for her.

But, by far that was the most...genuine thing anyone had ever said to him. “God, I wish I dated you so much earlier,” he mumbled and leaned down to kiss her as deeply as he could manage while the cold December air cooled her coffee down once more while he gently traced his tongue along her lower lip.

Her cheeks turned this beautiful shade of red that Harry loved so much. The sunglasses over her eyes hid so much from him. He meant every word earlier. He loved her glasses so much, if only allowing him to see deeper into her soul. “If...it works though...” she whispered after a minute of kissing. He didn’t say anything because he sensed there was more, and she swallowed hard. “I’m scared I won’t be me...I feel like my whole life has been put on hold because of my eyes. I don’t know if I know how to live without... thinking about them.”

“Then we’ll learn t’live without thinking ‘bout them,” he shrugged reaching for a piece of her hair and stroking it like a paint brush across her face. “You’re more than your eyes, kitten.”

Her heart felt so warm at his words. Harry always made the well-being of her eyes an effort for the two of them. It wasn’t a battle she faced alone. Harry was there the whole time encouraging her, helping her, keeping a literal eye on things for her when she couldn’t. It didn’t bother him when she cried about not seeing something. When she bumped into walls or doors, he never said anything other than to make sure she was alright. If she dropped something and made a mess, he simply helped her clean it up. Harry was her personal chauffeur, and he didn’t care at all.

“To be fair m’love, I would be driving y’around anyway because you’re a lady and I adore you and m’mum taught me t’hold car doors open for the women I adore. And I’d rather drive and keep y’safe... plus you’re a terrible driver even when y’can see. S’a danger to you, me, and everyone else on the road.”

“We wouldn’t...” she whispered quietly and shook her head, looking away from him.

“Wouldn’t what, m’love?” He murmured looking at her with a frown on his lips. Worry etched between his eyes.

“We wouldn’t...be in love...if it weren’t for the fact I can’t see,” she reminded him and turned to look back at his expectant face waiting for her to complete her thought. “I wouldn’t have spilled food on you. You wouldn’t have sat up front and asked if I couldn’t see. There wouldn’t have been writing notes for me or making sure I was okay at that party or at the pub...”

“Kitten, I learned t’read Braille for you. I don’t care if y’can see or not. I would do anything for you. I may have fallen for you because you couldn’t see but I don’t stay because of it. I stay because I adore you.”

“What?” She whispered breathlessly. She sat up fully while Harry stayed lying flat against the windshield. “You learned...you did what?”

He shrugged. “M’probably not very good at it. But I don’t know...thought if it came down to it, if it got worse and you were sad...I’d want t’help.”

Harry saw the tear slip down her cheek past her sunglasses. “Harry Styles,” she practically sighed. “You are...I don’t know...”

“The love of your life, maybe?” He smiled cutely and reached up to rub the tear from her cheek.

For the second time in her life, she had so much hope swelling in her heart. Harry, the cause of it once more. “And hopefully every life I’ve ever have and ever will live.”

--

general taglist: @justlemmeadoreyou @daydreamingofmatilda @tiredinwinter

I'm sorry if I missed anyone in the taglist. Please let me know if you'd like to join, if it didn't work, if you no longer want to be included, etc. :)

[gabessquishytum]

I've been watching ER lately (a medical drama show from the 90s/2000s) and one of the later story lines made me think of Dreamling <3

so!

Dream is an ER doctor in the states and Hob is a flight nurse. They meet on a plane to Vegas and spend the weekend together, eventually getting drunkenly married. While they both had a lot of fun, they plan to get it annulled when they get a chance.

Except because this is fanfiction, they can't get it annulled because they consummated the marriage (repeatedly and enthusiastically) and so they must either stay married or deal with a costly divorce <3

So they decide to give it a year (the sex is that good, ok, and they both think the other is cute) and see where it goes. At the sixth month mark, they finally meet each other's sons (with Calliope there, of course- Hob absolutely charms the pants off of her).

And then there's an accident with Hob's helicopter and Hob almost dies. And Dream realizes he's in love.

And then one of them gets pregnant and wouldn't you know it, Dream's sister Death also works in the hospital as an OBGYN. (she's... weirdly well liked by most of the parents she delivers for, despite her name).

They finally move in together when the year is up and Dream paints the nursery with Orpheus and Robyn (and promises that there'll be a new wedding for them to be in- he even has a new ring sitting in his pocket just waiting) <3 <3 <3

Omggg we love an accidental Vegas wedding!! Also i like to think that Dream could probably totally afford the divorce but he just really, really doesn't want another one because he's been divorced several times already and it's becoming a Thing.

And the sex is really that good.

So good that they start to forget all about things like condoms. Perhaps Hob happens to be trans and he's so manly and masculine that he and Dream both just forget that he still has the parts for making a baby (they may be doctors, but they are also himbos). Or perhaps mpreg is totally real. But either way, Hob has this terrible helicopter accident, is super traumatised, goes and has passionate and comforting sex with his husband... and 8 weeks later finds himself in Doctor Death's office, looking at the baby they made on the ultrasound. It's a lot to take in.

He ends up phoning Calliope and having a whole emotional breakdown to her, and she provides a much needed pep talk. With Calliope and Death supporting him, he's able to reveal the pregnancy to Dream and also announce that he's going to take a break from his career while he recovers from everything that's happened. He really wants more time with the kids and to actually make a go of this marriage with Dream (who he has totally fallen in love with, of course).

When they finally have their proper wedding, Calliope walks Dream down the aisle to where Hob is waiting with Robyn, Orpheus and the new baby. Death officiates the ceremony (and she does a much better job than the Elvis impersonator who married them the first time).

The sex is still mind-blowing. So good that Hob has promised if they ever divorce, he's taking Dream’s dick with him. He knows a really good urologist, from work 😉

[dreadnotau]

So, what the heck's been going on with Dread Not?

First off, kind of a big announcement, the twitter is officially GONE. As "twitter" (x?) added a policy that starting from November 15th, all posts made by users would be fed to their AI algorithm, both my personal twitter as well as the Dread Not twitter are deleted, to prevent my content from being used to feed some shitty AI algorithm. Tumblr isn't exempt from this bullshit AI fad either, but at least they gave you a toggle to opt out of it. It's a low bar and yet sites keep not clearing it. Don't be afraid, though, I've downloaded the archive of the official twitter account and if the fancy strikes me (and if there's enough of a demand for it) I might mess around with the html and make a downloadable version of the Dread Not Twitter for anyone interested in having it as a remnant of that bygone era. I'd just have to find a way to scrub all my actual personal data from that account first though, lmao…

On a more serious note, you probably noticed the comic itself hasn't updated properly since, what, June? And that was only one page. Before then the last update was in September 2023, so it's been well over a year since proper, consistent content for this comic has been made. For that, I am genuinely sorry. I made a lot of false promises and with the update in June I hyped it up with being "finally back" and then held up none of what I promised. That sucks and I wish I had anyone else to blame, but it's all me and my shitty nonexistent work ethic. I COULD'VE finished Act 1 during the summer, but with the way my motivation for art works, I got swept up in other projects thinking I could make up for lost time eventually, and then just didn't. This sucks and I wish it hadn't happened, but here we are.

Moving forward is going to be difficult because of this. As mentioned, I have other projects I'm working on now, projects I'm arguably more invested in than Dread Not. If Dread Not was EASIER to make, it'd be less of a problem, but I've set up a kind of impossible standard for myself of putting my everything into every page. This makes it look phenomenal, I can't deny it, the last few pages have been some of my best work and I still look at them very fondly, but there's also an aspect of… what it is that I'm actually putting so much work into. I don't mean to diminish my own fiction here, but Dread Not was kind of made on a whim, and while it has themes I find interesting it's not as… deeply significant as some of my other work is, or at least is MEANT to be.

To use a metaphor to illustrate, Dread Not is like popcorn that I've painstakingly made a giant ornate bowl to serve it with, while my other projects are fully planned meals that I need to find a good way to serve, and if all my energy is spent trying to figure out how to make my popcorn snack presentable, what time does that leave to the Actual Full Course Meal I'm planning? I hope that metaphor makes sense, because popcorn is still good! It's tasty! You can make it really nice and spicy, but at the end of the day that's not a gourmet meal, and I'd like to try my hand at more serious (culinary) projects. Projects that require me to work not just physically, but also mentally, to explore more difficult themes that mean a lot more to me. And, don't get me wrong, Dread Not HAS interesting ideas in there, it's just that I haven't reached them yet because I've been so preoccupied with this fucking BOWL. The popcorn is cold now and I still haven't finished painting it's goddamn container. There's a reason you usually serve this stuff in a paper bag.

And, paper bag analogy is right, because if you've seen my latest art dump on my art blog, you might've seen a couple of different styles in one place. Flat colours, monochrome colours with an emphasis on shading, a general complete lack of backgrounds, etc. What I want from you, dear reader, is to tell me what YOU want from Dread not. There's no way for me to finish act 1 in a reasonable time frame without downgrading the art, so I want to know what kind of downgrade you're willing to put up with. My personal ideal would be if I could just release the remaining pages as just line-art with minimal shading, but I understand that's probably not what people want, so…

Here's a forum for you to weigh in! (I recommend filling it out after you read this whole post)

On a different note, I want to heavily stress that I'm not abandoning the project, it's just morphing into something different now. It kind of HAS to in order to survive. Originally, working on Dread Not was something I did between classes, it was my only real "organised" artistic outlet if you could call it that, but now that I'm going to school FOR art, something as demanding as a full comic is less an outlet and more a chore. Even WITH downgraded visuals, that's still time spent on something that's not getting me grades or recognition, and while it's fun I'm kind of planning on doing art as a career now, so fun projects have to be REALLY fun for me to still invest so much time into (again, refer back to how my shitass art motivation works). This is why Act 2 is now planned to be entirely text, like other fics I actually work on in my spare time as a Break from visual art. It's a continuation of Act 1 still, just as originally intended, but I'll be adjusting my original script for Act 2 to fit into the new format. I'm sorry if this is disappointing to anyone (if the visual downgrade for the end of act 1 wasn't enough), but this is the most reliable way I can get myself to actually work on Dread Not since, again, I don't think a "passion project" should be draining to think about.

All of the technical stuff about the comic/AU/fic ASIDE… I want to give a huge shoutout to everyone in the Dread Not Discord server. Despite all the hiatuses and despite all the Lack of content I've given them, the server's been decently active and we've even made stories and characters completely divorced from Dread Not or even Deltarune as a concept! It's a really nice group to be a part of and I'm eternally grateful that something I made attracted such creative and thoughtful and SKILLED people into one place to share new ideas and discuss old ones. It's just a great time all around, and I don't think I'd be where I am today if it weren't for that server, as corny and stupid as that may sound.

I'm sorry this ended up being kind of a damper of an announcement, but seeing the state this blog is in I think it's a little necessary to make a proper post addressing all the stuff that's been going on behind the scenes. I hate leaving ya'll in the dark, but I also know that these posts are really long and probably really boring so getting something like this every other week would probably be even more annoying than complete silence.

Again, thank you all for your patience and, by all means, weigh in on what you think should be done with this AU going forward.

-Kooki

PS - I'll announce my other projects when they're in a more presentable state, for now you'll have to wait for those too, sorry.

[emptymasks]

so this hasn't happened in like a year

[ID: a tweet from me saying that my art has been stolen with screenshots of the art they stole badly cropped out and put on a tshirt with text that says 'yes, darling? do you need something?' and another screenshot of the store page. next to it is a screenshot of my original Goostarion artwork I posted to Tumblr and Twitter 6 days ago.]

someone stole my art. again. please never buy from tshirt shops like this on etsy. they are 100% stolen fanart and stolen official art. my own goostarion artwork as a sticker is one of the first results on etsy when you search for baldur's gate (which, thank you guys so much for that) and so perhaps because i put him on etsy you might see the tshirt and also think it's mine without checking the shop name. but it's not. and multiple people have the shirt in their basket. if an artist is selling their own work as a shirt it will be in their own shop, or perhaps in a redbubble/teespring shop under the same name. and it won't be a badly cropped version of their art with their watermark painted over.

[ID: a screenshot of the shop selling stolen art, SweetieBestieStore on Etsy. They have had 85 sales, 12 reviews with an average of 5 stars, the listing for the shirt with the art they stole from me says '3 people have this in their basket'. There is also stolen art by artists I tracked down using Google's Reverse Image Seacher they are grimmsever on Twitter, BryeArt on RedBubble and twistedlonewolf on Twitter. please support the actual original artists. their art has all been cropped, backgrounds erased and/or text placed next to it.]

i've repoted the listing, we'll see if etsy does anything. no one else can report it for copyright other than the person who owns the copyright so. we'll see if anything comes of that. i've reported stuff on other websites before like wish and amazon and got them taken down, but never etsy before so i don't know how quickly they work on these things or what the response could be. i have no idea if this post will reach any of the people who have this shirt in their basket on etsy, anyone who's scrolled past items like these on etsy, but please don't support shops like these.

[ID: a screenshot of my own Etsy shop 'emptymasks' where I have search for 'baldurs gate' within my own shop to show only my baldur's gate items, you can see my original artwork for goostarion which i have been selling as a sticker this past week since i drew him.]

And if you want Goostarion, you can just buy him as a sticker off my own shop. Or you could reblog the original post I made of the artwork here.

Ugh this isn't what I wanted to wake up too. I really hope no one buys anything more from their page.