#Finally have a good computer!
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
upgraded room set up!
I built a new PC so I made a little console setup using my laptop!
New computer:
Ryzen 7 5700
GeForce 3060
32 gigs of ram
This is my "console" set up!
Laptop is a ASUS TUF 15 2021
My PS4 and switch are also connected to my tv. Right now I'm using this setup mostly for melee, guilty Gear strive and Street fighter 6.
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
"Now, the vow will be honoured, and my Lord brother's soul will return."
Radahn stans keep winning, but I personally am in Miyazaki's walls rn
#my art#shadow of the erdtree spoilers#sote spoilers#shadow of the erdtree#elden ring#godwyn prince of death#godwyn the golden#miquella the kind#miquella the unalloyed#promised consort radahn#fromsoft#i do not think critiques of radahn are as shallow as “pay $40 to fight a boss we already fought”#the dlc is good right up until the final boss#most of the new bosses are good#i loved midra and metyr and messmer and the dancing lion#radahn as consort just comes completely out of left field and just seems like a huge disconnect between the dlc and base game#radahn's story was done with the festival#and it's a good end! i like the festival and the base game radhan fight#but here he shows up again out of nowhere when godwyn is the obvious choice and a godwyn boss fight would be new and interesting#you can even still have your villain miquella story#puppeting his brother's living-but-soulless corpse unable to accept#that just because godwyn is breathing and follows his command like a deprecated computer program#even godhood can't bring his brother's soul back#his body must be slain and he must die a true death#we could have at least gotten a line of dialogue from radahn but nope#ok rant over#this pic is sloppy but idc#no cleanup we die like men#yes i know miquella's model technically has only three arms but i gave him four bc three looks silly
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
The indescribable tension between an overworked and underpaid smut writer, and his biggest fan hater.
(for @frummpets)
#SVSSS#Shen yuan#shang qinghua#cumplane#Normally I don't tag with ship names but this one is a special case.#Confession time: When I first had SVSSS described to me I 100% thought the main pairing was between these two.#The dynamic is impeccable! Even if its 'just a fan ship' I stand by it.#Sorry to the people who like to think of them as handsome pretty boys. I don't.#These guys sit in their rooms and use the computer for 90% of waking hours. They are not looking after themselves well enough for good skin#They can be cute in their own way. People with acne and missed shaving spots deserve to have their romances too.#And sloppy hate makeouts <3#Hi Sol! I truly did whoop and holler when drawing your name for the raffle!#You've been so kind and generous towards me and I'd happy to finally have the opportunity to give back some of that joy!#Thank you so much for all your support and the incredible fanart <3 You've made my day so many times!#I hope this silly mini comic is to your liking!#Playing around with colours for this one was a blast!
6K notes
·
View notes
Text
Little bright colored outfit with a fun vest ~
(shoes from ebay like 10 years ago. everything else is thrifted)
#ootd#jfashion#fashion#fantasy fashion#mori kei#....like... adjacent... lol#no idea what style this would be lol.. makes me think of like whimsical vaguely fantasy themed childrens book character#finally posting one of my aforementioned seven million drafts of actual outfits and costumes i have finished and edited#the photos for but just never feel like posting lol..#I need to find one of those people whos like 'omg i am ADDICTED to social media ugh i wish i could get off of it#im just browsing and posting like 60 times a daaaaay!!!' and take a little magical bottle and suck some of the social media#enthusiasim out of them. for moi. In exchange they can have some of my 'literally just never in the mood to post or interact with the#outside world ever' energy. We can balance each other. huzzah and so on#Though I think maybe it's part of the general thing I've heard of like.. I can't remember if it was in reference to adhd or just some sort#of general execcutive functioning issue type of thing - but the idea that things have to be ''just right'' before you do something. like#'oh i need to do this task. but i have to wait until XYZ first' or 'oh i can do this but only if X specific condition is met' or etc#The fact that I even have to be in a Specific Mindset to post. or sometimes will delay posting on social media because like 'oh well#I'm going somewhere tomorrow. somehow this matters. i cannot spend 5 minuts posting TONIGHT. clearly it will interfere#somehow schedule wise with the doctor appointment i have 15 hours from now. yes. yes. i must wait until my appointment is over#tomorrow afternoon. THEN i shall post' or etc. etc. lol. NOT even taking into account the many days#I just genuinely and physically sick and it's not even a mental thing. I just physically dont feel like sitting at the computer lol..#ANYWAY.. trying to get back into it. trying to get a business bank account.. make a proper paypal so i can start selling sculptures again.#selling clothes and sculptures.. posting about such things then of course as one must. etc... chanting to hype up and motivate myself lol#But yes. this is my favorite outfit out of the bunch so I am posting it first I guess.. maybe others later..#Also the purple dress says its from shein. which I've heard is bad fast fashion stuff. but maybe okay since its second hand? I havent#been to the bins since like 2020 or late 2019 even. and I think stuff like shein and temu has only become poular in the past few years#but I bet if I went to the bins now I might would find a good handfull of that stuff. Probably now not much different than what you#find in a walmart or a forever 21 or actual physical stores you can go to though. I hear quality of clothing is down everywhere no matter#where you get it or whatnot. What bountiful joys unfettered capitalism and exploitation bestows upon us (<being sarcastic).#Wearing one of my favorite little vests though. I love the texture of it and the clasps on it
131 notes
·
View notes
Text
Week 16 of drawing Gordie!!!
#gordie#gordie swsh#pkmn#pkmn gordie#pkmn swsh#pokemon#pokemon gordie#pokemon sword and shield#swsh gordie#sorry if this one is a bit wonky#finally have a proper drawing tablet and while the sketch looked good i think the proportions didn't translate well in the final piece#doesn't help i started on my computer and then finished it on my tablet
66 notes
·
View notes
Text
Safety.
#mouthwashing#curly mouthwashing#anya mouthwashing#artists on tumblr#my art#digital art#I couldn’t get this picture out of my head#I had to draw it#in the end I really like the colors#i had to draw these two because I couldn’t stop thinking about them#curly did nothing#so now that’s all he can do#anya finally stuck up for herself in the worst way possible#but in a way#everything they did was understandable#they made terrible mistakes#but I probably would have done the same#that’s why I hate this game it’s too good#I can be mad at the characters all I like#but with how it makes me think#it also feels like beating myself up#aside from jumbo of course#he’s a special case#don’t feel to bad about mentally picking on that one#throw him in the blender actually#anyways I might make this into another Timelapse video but I gotta get to my computer to do it 💔#cw: gore#cw gore#tw gore
39 notes
·
View notes
Text
New banner!
I finally have finished both the WIPs I have been working on on-and-off since september! (and throwing pieces of into some of the skilltober posts) and was planning to wait until we're done to post them but. restraining from posting one is bad enough. so!
this is *way* too long to all fit in the banner, as you can probably tell (because I was dumb and trusted the first search result that said banners should be 3000x1055 :D ) but oh well. And many of these guys have old designs I have since changed, and some of it looks weird but TOO BAD. sending it out into the world anyway cause I need it off my computer.
version without the red tint and close ups under the cut
the red colour is to go with our blog theme lol. without the tint:
yes I just crammed shivers in there for the sake of including her
#disco elysium skills#de skills#disco elysium#ohh no way are we tagging everybody in here... maybe just the ones in the foreground? here goes...#de logic#de encyclopedia#de rhetoric#de drama#de conceptualization#de volition#de authority#de suggestion#de pain threshold#de physical instrument#de electrochemistry#de interfacing#de savoir faire#good enough#ily all skills I'm sorry you can't all be in the front#very happy to finally close the file for this off my computer#and have a proper banner yaaay#rev art
48 notes
·
View notes
Note
What art program do you use?
These are my top 3 programs in my art process! Ignore the name of the app folder. It helps with MY motivation to draw lmao
1. Procreate ($12.99 as of Feb 2024)
My main drawing program! Its so easy to use and the UI is simple. What really sold me to procreate is the default brushes and the time lapse! if you’d like I made a post a while back on the brushes i use for lineart! Sooooo worth the investment honestly. also you can animate on it too! but Procreate released Dreams recently. I’m just saving up for it oneday!
2. Easypose (FREE)
I love using this for composition, perspective and poses especially in group setting which I really struggle with. The proportions are very much anime but nothing anatomy studies can’t fix!! Also love that its free and isnt subscription based. Lil warning though the asset library is very limited. there are DLCs but they’re not as detailed as what you’d see in Magic poser and/or Clip studio. But still the basic shapes still help a lot! and I wish i can change the color and move the light but it only has the one light source.
3. Canva (Free & Paid Subscription)
THE Graphic Design for dummies!!! /lh No but fr it has helped me a lot in clutch especially for merch layout when I used to do a lot of conventions
Honorable Mentions for References that helps me a lot (aside from Pinterest):
Sketchfab.com - lots of 3D assets that you can rotate around and use as references especially when you can’t find the right stock photo!!! (Some of the Assets are free or you can buy them!)
Line of Action - been using this a lot for studies! (free or you can subscribe to them!)
Clipdrop Relight - When I’m struggling to light a scene. Very helpful for color studies cause you can set up 3 lights at once for that bisexual lighting~
#anon#narwhal speaks#art programs i use#man if i still have access to a computer/laptop…#i would be able to list cr4k3d photoshop#and i’d be more powerful lmaoooo#i wish i could be using Clip Studio#they have more stuff in there but i got really overwhelemed by the UI and i think it would be easier for me to use as a desktop app#rather than on an ipad#maybe oneday when i finally save enough for a really good laptop#cause i wanna learn how to 3D sculpt lmao
132 notes
·
View notes
Text
a sweet love, a toothache kind of love
#hiii im not dead#accept this. i dont know when i will pick up my pencil again#dont have a computer so i cant check the colours..... praying it doesnt look AWFUL!!!!#god drawing this took SO LONG i had forgotten how long fucken drawing actually takes#my art#this looks st valentines themed. as far as im concerned it is feb14 instead of mid august#if someone wants a vertical version hmu methinks it could b a cute lockscreen#go2#good omens#aziracrow#crowley#aziraphale#AH YOU CAN FINALLY EDIT HASHTAGS#i dont remember how tagging works anymor#good omens 2#good omens fanart#good omens 2 fanart#aziracrow fanart#ineffable husbands#neil gaiman#david tennant#michael sheen#uhhh idk what else. chao#going back 2 my slumber. see u in like 5 months mayhaps
240 notes
·
View notes
Text
diversity win: the news ticker writer from cookie clicker is nonbinary
#good for them. good for them.#.txt#guys have i mentioned i'm obsessed with cookie clicker#i have been for yearsss#i had an absolutely legendary save in high school#and another one on my old computer before it bricked#but i finally have it on steam now so my progress is finally permanent#cookie clicker
29 notes
·
View notes
Text
WHAATT ??? SPOOKY MAKING ACTUAL ART AGAIN ??? thiz iz insane
★ version without text + image based on under cut :
★ song : "Goodbye to This Meaningless Everyday" – Dobu no Awa
#wowza thiz one waz kinda really super mega hard#the background waz a huge pain to make but im actually so proud of how it came out#i felt like i needed to unwind after today . especially cuz tomorrow will be a million timez more stressful . but instead i made thiz ://#ive had thiz song stuck in my head for a few dayz and wowza i needed to make smth based on it �� just had to get it out of my system#also i finally drew colin again !!!! featuring some kind of important lore related stuff !!!!#young colin !!!! wow !!!! feast your eyez upon him !!!!#.....#oh who am i even kidding#nobody will care about thiz#nobody botherz with what i make anymore#why should i#itz clear that i have to give up on making mediocre art and instead focuz on getting a good job – i have no worth az a living being anyway#so might az well make myself useful ...#i have no redeeming qualities – everyone i know doezn't care for me and thatz ok#itz fine#i don't mind#some of us need to be the primary pick for natural selection anywayz#dhmis#dhmis art#dhmis au#high voltage au#dhmis colin#colin the computer#dhmis hv colin#bro itz literally midnight i should be sleeping#what am i doing with my life bro – a time such az thiz should be dedicated to studying . not for mucking around#im such a failure child#sigh
22 notes
·
View notes
Text
Like in this moment, when without telling anyone what he was going to do or asking for help or advice, but only by watching tutorials on YouTube dot com, he now tried to cut his hair by holding scissors to his head, but so bad, that even if, at best, he won't cut himself with them, he will still end up with an asymmetrical and awful hairstyle.
From the beautiful fic, Cat's Cradle by hurryuptonightism! This art doesn't do it justice because they have a lovely moment for all five prisoner siblings, but predictably, my Fuuta bias won out :3
#milgram#fuuta kajiyama#I KNOW fuuta would be watching on a computer at this point but it wasnt working in the sketch so i gave him his phone lol#ive been meaning to do this since i read it in january - i revisit it from time to time and was excited to finally do something for it :3#i love their fuuta and mahiru fics so much and this sibling moment really got me good ;---; made me so emotionallll#the dynamic between them was so perfect 😭 loving and caring for each other but still both being rude/tugging on hair LOL#neither of them communicating out loud but still doing so in their own way <33#it was so fun drawing lil baby fuuta ;-;#all the little moments were perfect 🥺#i have one more fic thing planned atm but i wanted to post these before i switch to christmas craft mode lol
20 notes
·
View notes
Text
TRAILS IN THE SKY REMAKE ON SWITCH
#ink thinks#trails in the sky#the legend of heroes#FINALLY ILL HAVE THEM ALL. SOBBING#do u have any idea how much ive wanted sky but cant bc i dont have a good computer#thank u falcom godspeed falcom
26 notes
·
View notes
Text
pardon me, but this line got the LOUDEST laugh from me.
#finally playing disco elysium#i've had it on my computer for almost a year now#dlksajhfsad they should have sent a poet#thats such good oh my god#disco elysium
135 notes
·
View notes
Text
average minecraft gameplay of elementary school kids (+the og doodle of it I did like. months ago)
#re:kinder#fanart#yuuichi mizuoka#shunsuke takano#my art#i must inmediately make clear to you that i believe shunsuke would absolutely loot villages in minecraft like. TOTALLY#he has that sillyness he would see like. an oven and steal it he would break the wood of houses for the sake of it#the thing that distinguishes him and yuu from it is that yuu just has to commit arson and just has to put the villagers on fire#i think the first thing yuu would do the second he enters a village is to inmediately go kill the iron golem#the iron gained from it is a bonus its more so to see the chaos that ensues without the protection of a golem#and that would be if the gamemode was survival but im gonna be so real i dont see yuu being a survival player#im 100% believer that he would be a creative player through and through#destroying villages would be sillier just place a ton of dynamite and see it go kaboom#i think i should have made shunsuke a little less confused over going to a village in this he has chaos in his heart#thing is ive been working on this very on and off for a while so i. i forgor my headcanons briefly turn brain off just . confusion💔#on that note i will be free soon i will be free to draw a lot this semester is finally ending soon oh my god😭#this semester uni has been a lot and fibro has been kickin me for no reason but ILL BE FREE🔥🔥SOON🔥🔥#id like to let you know that to make this piece i had to pray the dios te salve maria prayer thrice#my computer finds ways to get worst and that prayer is the most efficient way for it to let me do basic tasks it sounds insane but its fr😭#it doesnt like it if i pray anything else for some reason it just really seems to like this prayer#anyway ive had a whole discussion on how the rekinder cast would play minecraft but. theres a 30 tag limit#so💔 we gon save that for another day when im having a good day in terms of my fibromyalgia i need to lay down SJWIDNAKD😭😭#i should do the dios te salve maria prayer when i do my finals atp god save my cells
15 notes
·
View notes
Text
The Name of The Game
The (Un)Official Guide to Hero-Keeping | Cont'd from Part 8
Content: mentioned past attempted noncon, hysterical whumpee/nervous breakdown (seriously yall, it gets bad), disabled whumpee, trans whumpee, tied up/handcuffs, noncon unshirtening, past captivity references
* * * * * * * *
Excerpt from: The (Un)Official Guide to Hero-Keeping; a self-help guide for villains and bounty-hunters
[While following this guide, as well as generally while playing the wonderful game that is villainy, you will find that the advice can rarely be fitted to every specific scenario. But one piece of advice is universal: If you value your freedom, your loved ones, and your life, you must never reveal your secret identity to your captured hero. As soon as you do, there is no more facade. Villainy is no longer a game. It is your life. And heroes will not hesitate to destroy your life if it means they can win the game.
If a hero (or ANY untrusted party) ever happens upon your secret identity, it is your responsibility, as a villain and as a human being, to accept the end of your life as you know it…
Or to ensure that the hero can never tell another living soul.]
* * * * * * * *
“See you soon?” Deeby repeated Sweater-vest’s last words incredulously. “See you soon?! Christ, and you know he knows– god, he just needs to stop being such un pendejo and shut the hell up, stop making everything about his goddamn god complex and shoving it en las caras de todos–”
The sudden anger from the usually cool and smug Deeby did not help the apparent panic attack seeping ever so quickly into Stan’s consciousness, especially with said seething bounty hunter circling around the room like an angry shark as he muttered to himself and gesticulated wildly.
Stan cowered to hide his shirtlessness from said angry shark. His chest and limbs started to buzz from all the excess oxygen entering his system as he took in heavy breaths, his head spinning, dizzy, hurting, every muscle clenching.
“--y quién se cree ese cabrón para venir a joderme MI TRABAJO?”
He was so angry. So loud, talking so fast, and what the hell was he even saying?! It was too much, too much.
“Y la puta Lana no puede ni aparecer para decirme que me está jodiendo la vida OTRA VEZ porque es lo único que le encanta hacer, joderme TODO lo que–”
Stop it stop it stay calm stay calm please not now please please please not now you can’t show weakness like this in front of your kidnapper you can’t stop it STOP IT–
He took in an involuntary loud heaving breath. Then fell into a stuttering slew of smaller breaths as he tried to keep quiet, and Deeby finally took notice of the state of his captive.
Stan squeaked and pulled the jacket around himself tighter. He was small, he was silent, he was invisible.
Then he gasped in another desperate heaving breath with an involuntary cry of panic when he suddenly ran out of air. He’d stopped breathing entirely with all his efforts.
“Stan? Qué es–... Ah, you good?”
Stan nodded quickly, shaking. “F-fine, fine.”
Deeby raised an eyebrow at him. “Don’t lie to me. What is this, you having a panic attack?”
He couldn’t get his eyes to focus, but he shook his head fervently. Then reeled as it made the dizziness and headache so much worse.
“Stan, talk to me, chiquito. If he actually did something to you, tell me. I need a good reason to kill him, you’d be helping me out a lot.”
He didn't actually even hurt me, did he?
“No–! I-I u-uh-uh yes-s-s, but– but–”
I don't WANT to ‘help you out’! I don't want to talk about it! ESPECIALLY not with you.
He let out a whine and failed to swallow the giant knot forming in his throat.
“Alright, is this about the shirt then? Or the uh, the chest thing? Is that why you went from colonizer white to ghost white when you thought I was gonna make you strip earlier?” He walked over to the tattered shirt and scooped it up. “Because if that's what got you, I can assure you I don’t give a single crap what you’ve–... got in your...”
Deeby trailed off as he held up the grey strips of fabric that used to be Stan's button-down.
And just stared.
Stan gawked at the unrecognizable shredded fabric hanging in the bounty hunter's hands. His breath caught in his throat. He hadn't realized how utterly destroyed his beloved shirt was. What was he supposed to wear now?
“That… Motherfucker…” Deeby muttered, almost as as aghast as Stan. “Christ, I knew he'd pull some grade-A bullshit, but this–”
“Y-you KNEW?!” Stan gasped out, surprising himself with the volume of his outburst. “You– You knew he was gonna– gonna try to...”
Deeby didn't look up from the tatters in his hands. “Yeah. He's predictable, if nothing else.”
Stan's entire body felt like it was full of angry bees. “You–... You left me-e alone with ‘im. On pu-urpose.”
“And everything turned out fine, you're fine. Look runt, we need to have a little talk about what–”
“NO!” Stan cried, ignoring the drop in his stomach when Deeby's eyes took on a slight challenging glint at the interruption. “No, don’t change the subject! You left me alone with him! You knew he was gonna try to– to rape me and you left me alone with him! Handcuffed, chained to the floor, powerless, immobile, beat up to hell and– a-and unable to defend myself and you-you left me alone with him!”
The floodgates were opening. The stifling sense of justice suffocating Stan from the inside out wouldn’t let the injustices go unsaid any longer, crashing through his body and just about ready to make him burst. Ironic, given the everything.
Deeby’s jaw set. “Stan. I wouldn’t have left that shit-for-brains alone with anyone if I didn’t have to.”
“Oh, but you– you had to?” Stan taunted, hoping the sarcasm came through in his voice even with the stuttering and heaving breaths. “What, Dee-deeby the great bounty hunter actually answers to someone? Enough to put the uh, the bounty in danger? Or are you just scared of him, wanted to get away?!”
Deeby snorted.
“Hell yeah, I'll do whatever if the buyer asks it,” he proclaimed. "And I'm not scared of that human cringe-fail. The day I'm scared of him is the day I'm dragged away screaming and turned into… well, you, basically. But I mean, that's when he's actually dangerous…"
He seemed to think on it for a moment. Then crouched down in front of Stan, smug grin replaced with something like the look a friend gives when they think you're about to ruin your life with a single dumb decision.
“Honesty, bud… I wouldn't be so tough around a guy like that if I were a guy like you. Best to just fuel his ego.”
Stan physically recoiled. “Don't tell me what–! Who-wh–…”
That insult sounded way too genuine. Since when was the mercenary genuine?
“Wait, wait, you'd…” Stan shook his head, trying to untangle his thoughts from the spaghetti of his mind. This concussion was killing him. He could barely think. “If you were… Who even was th-that?”
Another chuckle. “What, Tweedy? That was Vaughn. He said that earlier, though I applaud your ability to block him out. Wish I could do that.”
Then again, the hunter was most likely just trying to psych him out. Get him to behave again. Stan wouldn't fall for something like that.
“No, idiot, I mean–... I meant who is he? Why is he going to-to see me soon?… And– and for that matter, are you working together? Because it seems like you hate each other.”
Deeby let out a huff of air. “Look, bud, we need to talk about that phone call I had to take, the boss–”
“You're avoiding the question.”
“Well frankly, there's more important things to talk about,” Deeby dismissed quickly. “So I was talking with the boss-lady on the phone while you were–”
“I don’t care about what that Lana person has to say!” Stan said, slamming his hands on the floor for effect, a breath-stealing pang running through his ribs at the jostling. “Jus– Just tell me who you guys are, tell me why I’m here, tell me why I should be scared of ‘a guy like that’! Who ARE you?!”
Deeby narrowed his eyes slightly. “We need to talk about what's going to happen to you next. And you're gonna listen to that. Not yell demands at me like some asshole 6-year-old, because you already know I don't deal with all that ‘who am I, secret identity’ crap, so you're not getting those answers.”
Well actually, judging by the horrible sticky weight that slammed Stan in the gut when Deeby said that, he didn't want to know what horrors awaited him next. So next best thing? Keep being an asshole 6-year-old.
“Why?”
“Anonymity is the most valuable tool you can have in this game.” Deeby recited it like a script, exaggerating a monotone boredom. “Also I'm not an idiot, it's protocol that's saved me before, it helps me do my job without getting invested… take your pick.”
“You're not even wearing your mask any more!” Stan cried. “So much for secret identity!”
“I think what you're meaning to say is ‘thank you for rushing to save my damsel-in-distress ass from some twink with scissors when you heard me screaming for help even though you were dealing with a really important phone call from the worst person ever’. And you're very welcome. Now we need to talk about what I found out in that dumbass phone call and what it means for you.”
He always had an answer for everything, huh? Always another quip.
Stan's blood started to boil, and he may have actually, genuinely growled a little.
“S-so-so so what, you are scared of her, then? You're scared of her and that's why you left me with that monster?!” He tried, spitting back as much smug asshole-ness as Deeby had been throwing at him. “Is that why you hate them, you’re just their damn lackey doing whatever they tell you to do?! Just a puppet for them to guide around, running around capturing supers and serving them up on a silver platter like a good little servant?!”
Deeby stared at him, genuinely stunned by the sudden venom in the captive's words. His fists clenched by his side.
Hm. Stan may have gone too far.
“Look, McKellen,” Deeby spat as he took an authoritative step forward, voice slow, low and dark. “There are things at play here that you can’t know about–”
“Why not?!” Stan felt like he was losing it, voice creaky and high and hoarse. “Obviously I’m gonna be trapped here with you assholes for the rest of my short life until you kill me with some new form of torture experiment bullshit! Why not tell me everything?! Why not do whatever you want with me?! Just tell me! Please!!”
Stan glared desperately at the bounty hunter. He knew he wasn’t even just crossing the line at this point; he was sprinting over the line and stomping on it repeatedly in a panic-fueled frenzy, kicking at it and letting out his full fury as if the line itself had done this to him, as if absolutely decimating the line would somehow fix everything.
Way deep down, almost too far down to admit to himself, he almost hoped the mercenary would see through the insults and the fighting to see the pleading, hurt, scared man underneath. And then take pity. Just let him have this one thing, before he broke entirely.
But the bounty hunter glared right back at him.
“No.” He stated venomously. “Right now, you're going to shut up. And listen.”
As if Stan would ever listen to the orders of his kidnapper. Of a villain.
A small laugh, just a little chuckle, took root his chest. A disbelieving smile cracked across his face.
The absence of the signature unbothered grin, the absence of the mask, the deathly seriousness? Not to mention the gun, the knives, the chains, the handcuffs, the power suppressing collar, no cane or crutch or any viable mobility aid in sight, and beaten so hard multiple times that he probably couldn't run properly anyway even if he did have a knee that actually worked…
This really was hopeless, wasn't it?
He could rage against the dying of the light all he wanted. Scream and shout and cry and fight and say witty things to hide the excruciating, never-ending pain.
But the light would still die all the same.
He clutched Deeby's very own stupid cowboy-ass jacket around his shoulders. He couldn't even defend himself from getting his shirt ripped to shreds right off his body!
And this bitch–
“You– you don't think…” he had to pause to let out a barrage of inappropriate giggles, then shoved up shakily to his feet, back braced against the wall. “You don't still think I'm gonna– that, that I'm gonna escape, do you?!”
Deeby gave pause, eyeing Stan up and down. Really thinking about it. He took a deep breath. A low grumble emanated from the base of his throat.
“No. I don't.”
Stan laughed out again, full force this time. Desperate. Tearful.
“Then just–... just TELL ME!! IT DOESN'T MATTER!! IT DOESN'T!! IT'LL DIE WITH ME!!”
The mercenary's mouth pressed into a thin line. Was that confusion etched into his features? Or worry? Maybe anger…
“It does matter,” He growled through gritted teeth. “It's probably the most important thing you could know, who I am. Who we are.”
Stan let out a loud cry of anguish, screeching out every single frustration at the unfairness of the world, at this situation, at Deeby and Vaughn and whoever Lana was, at the collar and the chains and the cut and bruises and broken bones and his broken, useless knee into a single, guttural sound.
“WHY WON'T YOU TELL ME ANYTIN-GAH-AH!!”
Very, very suddenly, the lapels of Deeby's loosely draped jacket tightened around his body and slammed him back into the wall, the fleece-lined collar of the jacket twisting and pulling on the power-suppressing strap clamped around his neck, contracting it, choking him just as the slam forced all the breath out of his lungs.
Stan clawed back against the force, only managing to grasp at Deeby’s forearms uselessly as they twisted the jacket ever tighter around him. Pinning his arms. Trapping him. He had to heave in and out gasping breaths just to get enough air to breath through his half obstructed airways.
“Look at me, chiquito,” the bounty hunter snarled. “Look me in the eye!”
Stan's panicked eyes paused their sporadic dance around the room. They locked dead onto the mercenary's fiery gaze.
“Did you break your damn brain in the 3 minutes I was gone?” Deeby hissed into his ear. Stan almost screeched in terror. “I don't know what sort of fuckery your mind has been conjuring up that you can't get this very simple concept without going insane,” he jolted Stan and dragged out an involuntary whimper from his throat.
“But whatever it is, shut it down. Now. I'm gonna tell you the bare minimum of what you need to know, and you're gonna sit there and listen or else I won't tell you jack shit and knock you unconscious so I don't have to deal with your bullshit. Agreed?!”
“I– Ah, a-ah, I– No, I- I, no-no no No-o–”
He couldn't get his thoughts to line up properly. They swarmed around his head like locusts in a dust bowl, bouncing into each other, frenzied, an indecipherable cloud of fear and frustration that his horrible attempt at defiance, futile as it may have been, always just made everything worse.
He could never stop himself.
Angry tears rimmed at Stan's eyes. His body hurt. His brain pounded in his skull. His ribs cried out in protest as they pressed into the wall. The various bruises and their dull, throbbing aches, the cuts and bleeding wounds and their sharp, searing screeches, the sticky and caked on dried blood, so familiar now it was almost a second skin, Deeby's weight pinning him to the wall, so similar and yet so different to the way Vaughn had done the same.
No. No, no, no, no.
He squeezed his eyes shut, tears finally falling in hot, fat drops down his cheeks. The bounty hunter was so close, too close. Stan tried to pull away, and he just leaned on him harder, their faces barely inches apart.
“Agreed, chiquito?” The voice rumbled through his entire body, sending shivers up and down his spine.
No no no no no no no he needed to get away, get away now, please please that's all he needed he couldn't get away he couldn't even move his arms he could barely breathe–
“WHY DON'T YOU JUST RAPE ME ALREADY?!” Stan screamed into the endless cacophonous void.
And silence.
And the entire world went still.
Deeby’s mouth fell literally agape.
His grip on Stan loosened considerably. Not out of pity or any other considerate emotion. Just shock.
At least Stan could finally breathe again. Not that he took a single breath in the silence.
“I–...” Deeby finally choked out. “I-I beg you finest fucking what?!”
“Just fucking do it,” Stan hissed, gasping. “We both know you could. I couldn't even stop Vaughn, you think I could stop you?!”
The words spewed out of his mouth faster than he could stop them, like a volcano that had finally exploded its top off in a fiery glory. And the way Deeby looked at him, as if his features were having an all out war over shock, horror, or honestly very justified anger? Oh, that did nothing but fan the flames of Stan's sorrow-filed hysteria.
“Tall ass muscle-bound freak with an actual gun that captured me and beat me up again and again then left me to die?! I don't even know who you are! You can do whatever you want and I can't do jack shit to stop you! Just do it, hurt me, rape me, it doesn't matter! Vaughn knew that, you can too!” Stan attempted to shove the bounty hunter off, but he still didn't move.
“Please, please, I'm begging you, is that what you want?! I'll get on my knees!”
Stan collapsed against Deeby's hold, and to his surprise, Deeby finally let him. Well, not ‘let him,’ more like ‘recoiled and jumped back when he felt Stan collapsing in his grasp'.
All the same.
“Chiquito,” Deeby rasped. “I'm– not exactly sure what or why you're demanding, but I'm not going to–”
“Why not?! It doesn't matter!” Stan assured, holding his arms out to fully present himself now, shedding the jacket onto the floor behind him and taking a daring scoot forward. “I bet you just kicked Vaughn out because you wanted me all to yourself! I bet you just love seeing me scared and helpless and half naked in your stupid fucking yee-yee jacket–”
“Alright, Stan, enough!”
“AT LEAST VAUGHN had the decency to not pretend like he was a decent fucking person like you!” Stan yelled. “We both know you're not above it, fucking professional kidnapper and torturer! So just do it! Like Vaughn wanted to, like he tried to! Finish what he started, you have me all to yourself now! DO IT! DO IT I DARE–”
“The name's Declan.”
The statement was a whisper in the storm. Stan almost missed it. But the resolute certainty of the southern twang stopped him dead in his tracks.
“What–… What did you just–?”
It was astounding how quickly his voice had turned meek from the cacophony of chaos mere seconds before. Dark freckles stood out against an even starker white face than usual.
“It's Declan,” the mercenary stated once more. “My name. My name’s Declan. You wanted t’know who we are, who I am? Fine then, I'm Declan. Want the last name too?”
“I– wait–!”
“It's Cansano. Declan Cansano.”
Stan was shaking, a million thoughts crashing down upon him like a tidal wave. If he weren't already on his knees, surely he would have collapsed.
He hadn't actually… meant any of that. No. Had he? No. He couldn't have. He didn't want to know who the mercenary was. No, he didn't. He didn't, not really! He would never want that! Never!
“That’s not… Wh-why would you…?”
The bounty hunter shrugged. “You wanted to know who I am. You asked, you screamed, you insulted me and you went fuckin’ nuts over it.” His thunder-filled eyes betrayed his completely relaxed demeanor. “Declan Cansano. Don't forget‘t.”
“I just– That's not what– Wait, Deeby, you– Where are you going?!”
Deeby was already halfway to the door when he swiftly spun around, fists clenched and any trace of the easy demeanor vanished in those bright blood-stained eyes.
“I can't fuckin’ deal with you right now!”
Stan nearly launched himself back in fear, right back onto Deeby's stupid, soft jacket. He grasped it up as a barrier between him and the mercenary without even thinking. The mercenary's demeanor relaxed from absolutely terrifying to merely extremely angry at the sorry sight.
“I'm leaving for a bit.” He whipped around and grasped for the lapels of his jacket to yank it on, only for his grasp to come up empty. He whipped around a third time. “And I'll be expectin’ my coat back when I get back! You better've calmed the hell down by then, if you know what’s good for you.”
Wait, wait, he was leaving? No!
Stan tried to scramble after Deeby, but immediately fell to the agony of his knee and the length of his leash.
“Don't go, please!” he pleaded.
Deeby didn’t stop. “Why?”
What if you come back with more torture tools?
What if you don't come back at all?
I still have more questions for you.
You can't just leave me here, I'm hurt!
I shouldn't be alone right now. I can't. I'm scared of what will happen, I'm going insane.
Even you are better than no one at all.
“What– what if Vaughn comes back?!”
Deeby scoffed. “I'm not going that far, damn. Eat some protein bars while I'm gone so you don't die, should help with the insanity. Back soon.”
And the door to the room closed shut behind him, the click echoing off the walls in the sudden unbearable silence.
Stan collapsed to the floor, defeated.
He clutched the jacket closer.
Pulled it tight around his shoulders, fingernails leaving small crescent-shaped indents on the well-worn hide. The cotton lining was so surprisingly soft against his skin. Hell, he could smell the dirt and musk that permeated the jacket from years of use, the smal signs that this jacket had seen the capture of dozens of supers.
Declan.
Declan Cansano.
Professional Superhero-Hunter.
Stan screamed into the endless abyss around him.
And this time, Declan didn’t come back to save him.
* * * * * * * *
Next
Taglist: @flowersarefreetherapy | @pirefyrelight | @cakeinthevoid | @painsandconfusion | @books-are-everything | @paperprinxe | @lovethiswriting
#whump#heroes and villains#whump writing#whumper#whumpee#hero whump#defiant whumpee#kidnapping whump#captivity whump#trans whumpee#disabled whumpee#(un)official guide#mentioned noncon#tw nervous breakdown#GOD this one took SO LONG TO EDIT#AND WRITE#its basically unrecogniseable from its first draft bc i just kept having new ideas that fit the themes better#and changing it to help make it make sense#usually it wouldnt be this bad but i wrote it over like 3 serperate weeks in short bursts#so i didnt have any of the usual writing fervor in it at first and the pacing was FUCKED lol#I FINALLY GOT IT THO#its still not perfect but its pretty good and i CANNOT work on this any longer#ALL OF THIS was done on my phone btw. horrible time#would not reccomend#use a computer if you can#anyway ive been thinking about this specific scenario literally since before i started writing the actual story down#it was one of the main story beats#a changing of the tides#theres gonna be a lot of those pretty soon actually
28 notes
·
View notes