#Felt poetic might delete later

[rainbow-neko-artblog]

There are bluebonnets on the side of the road,

Blooming sweetly as all I've known.

Theyre out of place,

I look just like them.

Blue against the pavent, the concrete, and cemet.

Isn't it sad just to know that they were born-

in a place that will kill them the moment they have sworn,

too,

Encourage plants around them,

To rise up and crack,

The labels and signposts strapped to our backs.

Crushed under tires that swerve a little to far, and plucked by the niave to stick in a jar, choked by the smog, and ripped by our skin.

It's just so appalling the way they don't fit in...

Theyre out of place,

I look just like them.

Blue against the pavent, the concrete, and cemet.

[the-frasier-library]

"You make me feel like a deer in the spotlight."

"Headlights. The phrase is 'a deer in the headlights' not 'spotlight'."

"No, I meant what I said. Headlights are dangerous. A spotlight is adoring. I'm just still the deer who freezes and has no idea what to do."

~ me I guess

[firoch]

There's nothing else like being binary transsexual. It's a singular experience. Expansive, crushing, infinite, heavy, absorbent, contradictory, cohesive.

[tikitakatia]

Escape — A. Putellas x Reader

"The Taste of Champagne"

WC: 4.3k

Summary: Your wife keeps sending you pieces of the past like they’ll make the silence feel whole again. But the present has its own anchor now, even if you still don’t know what to call it.

Pt. 1 , Pt. 2 , Pt. 3

You told yourself you weren’t going to check.

That you were fine.

That people got busy, that not every night had to be a lifeline. That silence didn’t always mean abandonment.

But the silence still sat wrong.

You curled into the corner of the couch, Tofu at your side like an emotional support loaf, and opened the app anyway.

Nothing. No message.

No “you up?”

No metaphors. No poetic confessions. No “dream soft.”

Just the last thing you’d said, still waiting at the bottom of the screen for a reply.

You set your phone down. Picked it up again less than a minute later. Scrolled back through the thread like you hadn’t memorized half of it already.

The dumb jokes. The movie arguments. The softness you hadn’t let yourself feel in months. The feeling of being held without hands and being seen without effort.

You laughed once. Quietly. At a typo from three days ago. Then immediately hated yourself for it.

Because Alexia had texted too.

Ale: I dreamt about you today. You, me, and our little gremlin child. I miss you.

And you hadn’t replied.

Not because you didn’t want to.

Because you didn’t know what version of yourself to send back.

Because every word felt dishonest now.

You kept your phone in your hand. Let it warm your palm while you stare at the app icon like it might blink on its own.

You thought about texting first.

“Hey. You there?”

“I'm sorry if I was too much.”

“Or not enough.”

You typed them all. Deleted them all.

Tofu let out a groan and rolled into your thigh. He didn't care that your heart was unraveling. He was just happy to be touching you. And god, that was the thing. That soft little weight. That simple nearness. It made you realize how long it had been since anyone had made you feel like this without asking you to earn it first.

It used to be Alexia. And now it was a stranger who didn’t even show up tonight. You stared at the blank chat window like it had betrayed you. Or maybe like you’d betrayed yourself by needing it this badly.

You closed the app. Opened it again.

Still nothing.

You poured another glass of wine. Let it sit untouched.

You didn’t cry. You just… folded. Quietly. Like a house without lights. Like something was still standing, but barely.

You fell asleep with the phone still in your hand.

Screen dimmed. No messages.  No dreams.

Just you, and a dog who loved you without knowing what you’d done.

The silence stretched for most of the day.

You didn’t check the app first thing this time. You made yourself wait. Poured coffee. Fed Tofu. Stared at the fridge like it might open a portal out of your body.

The couch felt colder without a new message waiting. You didn’t say that out loud. You answered Alexia’s latest text about Tofu’s vet appointment. One word. Then muted the thread.

By 4PM, you were fully spiraling again. Quietly. Calmly. With the intensity of someone trying very hard to not care.

And then..

Buzz.

[go4goald2]: I AM SO SORRY. I didn´t mean to disappear. Work exploded, I didn't even breathe properly for like 36 hours.

You didn’t realize you’d exhaled until you saw the message and your body unclenched.

[go4goald2]: I missed you. Stupidly. Even though it’s just a screen. Is that pathetic?

You smiled.

[lostinthecrowd]: Only if I'm pathetic too.

Pause. Then:

[go4goald2]: Deal! We’ll be pathetic together.

The laugh that slipped out felt like relief. Like letting yourself come up for air after holding it too long.

[lostinthecrowd]: I know it’s dumb but… I was worried. I thought maybe I pushed too far.

[go4goald2]: NO. Not at all. Ugh, never. I wanted to be here. I just couldn’t be.

There was something about that phrasing, “wanted to be”, that sat warm and bittersweet in your chest.

You typed:

[lostinthecrowd]: I’m glad you’re back.

[go4goald2]: Me too.

And just like that, the air in the apartment shifted. Tofu hopped up beside you and flopped onto his back like the drama queen he was, one paw flung dramatically over his chest. You scratched his belly absently, phone still warm in your hand.

You weren’t stupid. You knew this was complicated.

But right now? It was simple.

They were back. And you weren’t alone.

It was late morning, Tofu chewing the corner of a throw pillow when your phone buzzed.

[go4goald2]: Quick: Favorite smell in the world. Go.

You grinned.

[lostinthecrowd]: Clean laundry. Toasted bread. Alexia’s shampoo

You froze. Backspaced.

[lostinthecrowd]: Uh laundry. Bread. Books. Not necessarily in that order.

[go4goald2]: Weak answer, mine’s rain hitting hot pavement. Also, movie theater popcorn. Cleaning products too.

[lostinthecrowd]: You’re such a freak. I respect it.

[go4goald2]: Thank you. Your turn. Favorite feeling?

You thought for a second.

[lostinthecrowd]: When someone reaches for me first.

You didn’t expect to send that. It just came out.

The reply took longer this time.

[go4goald2]: That’s a good one. That’s a really, really good one.

You looked down at Tofu, who had abandoned his pillow and was now curled against your shin. You reached down and scratched behind his ears.

Your phone buzzed again, but this time, not Chattr.

Alexia.

You almost ignored it. Almost.

But the preview caught your eye.

Ale: Check the front door.

You frowned, got up and opened it.

And there it was.

A small box, neatly wrapped in butcher paper. No card. Just your name scrawled on the top in handwriting you knew by muscle memory. You went back to the couch and opened it.

Inside?

An old photo.

The two of you at the beach years ago, sunburned and beaming, your face scrunched mid-laugh, her hand on your back, sunglasses crooked on her nose. One of your favorites. One you thought was lost.

And behind it, folded carefully was a note.

I know I can’t undo the space between us. But I remember this day like it just happened. And I still want to be the person who made you smile like that.

– A.

You stared at it for a long time.

Then your chest cracked open.

You didn’t know what came over you. Maybe it was the photo. Maybe the memory. Maybe the way her handwriting still looked like a promise you weren’t sure you could believe.

Whatever it was, when you started crying, you couldn’t stop. Couldn’t even breathe properly. The kind of crying that feels ancient. Like grief that finally got tired of being patient. Tofu lay down beside you, warm and solid, his chin on your knee like he knew there was nothing to fix, just something to witness.

At some point, the tears stopped. Or maybe you just ran out of them. You must’ve fallen asleep, curled on the couch, the photo still in your lap, the blanket wrapped too tightly around your shoulders.

When you woke, the light had shifted and your phone screen was glowing softly beside you.

Chattr.

Three unread messages.

[go4goald2]: Hey.

[go4goald2]: Everything okay?

[go4goald2]: Kinda worried, you disappeared.

You started typing quickly.

[lostinthecrowd]: Sorry I was gone. Got distracted by a very needy puppy.

[lostinthecrowd]: Also, someone reminded me of a version of myself I forgot. It kinda hurts.

[go4goald2]: Maybe that means it still matters.

You didn’t answer because for the first time in a long time, you weren’t sure who you were supposed to open your heart to.

Later that evening, after the sun dipped low and the apartment turned lavender and quiet, you sent a text to Alexia. Just one.

“Thanks for the photo. I didn’t know you still had it.”

You expected a delay. A simple “you’re welcome” or a heart emoji. 

Instead:

Ale: I almost deleted it once. Felt too far away from who we are now. But I couldn’t. I think I always hoped it would still mean something to you.

You didn’t know how to respond to that. Not really. So instead, you opened the fridge, fed the dog, and sat on the kitchen floor like it was the only place that didn’t feel too full of ghosts.

Later, when your fingers weren’t shaking quite so much, you sent another.

“It does. I don’t know what to do with that. But it does.”

Alexia didn’t reply right away. But she didn’t ghost either. She sent a picture of her hotel dinner tray: dry chicken, too much parsley.

Ale: Can I still be someone who knows how you like your food?

It was the softest thing she’d said in weeks. Maybe months.

You let your forehead rest against the cabinet door behind you, Tofu already half-asleep against your thigh.

And then, because you were already mid-collapse, you opened Chattr.

The screen lit up like it had missed you.

[go4goald2]: How’s your night?

You hesitated. For the first time in a while, you hesitated.

But then:

[lostinthecrowd]: Complicated. But less lonely than it used to be.

You didn't mention Alexia. You didn’t have to.

The guilt was already pulling at your ribcage like an anchor.

But god, it felt easy with them. Still.

[go4goald2]: Tofu still chewing everything you love?

[lostinthecrowd]: Yes, including my will to live.

[go4goald2]: What an icon.

You smiled. You couldn't help it.

Then, half on a whim, half because your chest felt too full:

[lostinthecrowd]: Do you like piña coladas?

A beat.

[go4goald2]: …Getting caught in the rain?

You snorted.

[lostinthecrowd]: God, those two idiots could’ve just talked to each other instead of writing anonymous ads in the newspaper.

[go4goald2]: Maybe it’s easier to be honest when no one’s looking at you.

That one stung a little more than it should have.

But you didn’t say that. You just typed:

[lostinthecrowd]: Yeah. Maybe that’s the point of strangers. You get to tell the truth without the weight of history.

There was a pause. Then:

[go4goald2]: But what happens when the stranger starts to feel like the only place that feels like home?

You stared at the screen. You didn’t answer right away.

Not because you didn’t know what to say.

But because you felt it hit bone.

What happens when the stranger starts to feel like home?

You locked your phone. Set it face down on the couch. And suddenly, it was too quiet.

You got up. Washed a cup that didn’t need washing. Fed Tofu again even though his bowl was still half full. You moved like someone trying not to be found guilty of something that hadn’t quite happened yet.

And then, because your heart was beating too loud and your head was full of words that didn’t feel like yours, you opened the other thread.

Alexia’s.

There was a message waiting. Not a follow-up, not a guilt trip. Just a photo. She was crouched on the curb outside a café, still in her training kit, flushed and tired, her hair half-pulled back and falling out at the sides. She held a coffee in one hand, giving the camera a crooked, almost shy grin. Not the kind she gave to the press. Just the one you remembered. The text below reads “I found the only place here that serves oat milk and didn’t judge me for asking for extra cinnamon. Thought you’d be proud.”

You stared at it longer than you meant to. That version of her, the soft one, the real one, was hard to look at. Because that was the one you’d loved before everything got hard.

Somewhere down the hall, Tofu barked. One sharp, accusatory yelp. You went to check, and there he was on the bed, standing on your pillow like it was a podium, chewing on the strap of your favorite canvas tote bag with the determination of someone proving a point. You sighed and snapped a photo before pulling the bag out of his mouth. Then, without thinking too hard, you sent it to Alexia with the caption: “He’s got your energy, swear to god.”

Her response came almost instantly. 

Ale: So you’re saying he’s our tiny, unhinged child? Because I accept that.

And you laughed. Out loud. Small and surprised.

“He’s feral,” you wrote back. 

“Completely untrainable. He bites my slippers and stares me down like he’s the main character.”

Ale: So me? 

She said, just two words, soft and certain.

You paused. Then typed: Basically.

Tofu returned to the couch like a conquering hero and flopped into your lap, warm and heavy and unbothered. You rested your hand lightly on his back. He sighed like he owned the apartment.

Another ping.

Ale: I don’t want to push you..

Ale: I just miss laughing with you. Like this. Like… us.

You didn’t reply right away. But you didn’t leave either. You sat there with your hand on the back of the stupid, soft dog she gave you, and let yourself imagine what it might feel like to try again.

Not all at once. Not completely.

Just… maybe.

The next morning, the apartment was still. Not quite like emptiness, just calm. Like the kind of silence that comes after the crying is done and the air is finally still enough to breathe.

You didn’t open Chattr right away.

It wasn’t on purpose.

You just… didn’t.

Instead, you made coffee. Not in a rush, not distracted. Real coffee. You even took the time to add a little sprinkle of cinnamon. You pretended like you weren’t sure why.

Tofu padded across the tile, sleepy and dragging his favorite destroyed sock behind him like a war trophy. You let him curl up at your feet while you answered a few emails. Sent a few messages, one of them to Alexia.

She’d texted something small. A picture of a storefront, hand-painted signs and soft yellow curtains in the window. 

Ale: Saw this and thought of you. You used to say you wanted a bookshop with plants in the windows and a dog under the desk.

You didn’t overthink it. Just typed: 

“Still do.”

Her reply came back fast. 

Ale: Maybe one day. I’ll be the one getting distracted and forgetting to charge the register.

You smiled gently, and let the moment stretch. It wasn’t intense. It wasn’t a grand gesture. But it felt… safe. Familiar. Like brushing fingers across something that used to be yours.

Around late morning, your phone buzzed again. Another message from her.

Ale: Please witness this.

Attached was a photo of a small white dog in a violently pink sweater. Hooded and with pom-poms dangling from the ends and a sparkly “PRINCESS” across the back in rhinestones. The dog looked vaguely furious. Possibly plotting something.

You choked on your coffee.

“Tofu’s cousin from the wrong side of the tracks.”

Ale: Tofu’s cousin from the drama school.

“That dog has a diary and writes about the betrayal.”

Ale: They have a publicist and a spray tan appointment.

The laugh that came out of you was too loud and sudden. Tofu startled and made an offended noise, then immediately climbed into your lap like how dare you forget I’m the star here. You scratched his head without thinking and smiled into your mug.

It was easy, that exchange. Stupid and good. And for the first time in a long time, you didn’t feel like you were holding your breath talking to her.

It wasn’t until almost noon that you finally checked Chattr.

The message had come in last night. A quiet ping, nothing dramatic.

[go4goald2]: Sleep well?

You stared at it for a few seconds too long. Then typed:

[lostinthecrowd]: Eventually.

There was no follow-up right away. You didn’t mind.

Later, when Tofu knocked over your water bottle trying to dive headfirst into your laundry basket, you laughed. Not as hard as yesterday. But still.

You picked up your phone without thinking and opened the last thread, not Chattr.

“He’s trying to sleep in the dryer now. This is your fault.”

Ale: He takes after his mother.

You didn’t know which one of you she meant. You didn’t ask.

The day passed gently. Not in a blur, just soft. Tofu snored on your lap during a bad movie. And somewhere in your other inbox, the typing bubble came and went.

You didn’t check it until much later. And when you did, your chest tugged. Not a lot. Just enough to remind you it still mattered. That it still made you feel something.

But today, you weren’t looking for complicated.

Because for the first time in a awhile, Alexia wasn’t making things worse.

It was only hours later that you opened Chattr again.

No wine. No candles. No desperate breath held in your throat. Just Tofu snoring on your feet and the last half of a very mediocre rom-com on TV.

Still, the message was already waiting.

[go4goald2]: What’s your take on fruit in salad. Violently opposed or live laugh love?

You smiled. Automatically.

[lostinthecrowd]: Depends on the fruit. Mango is elite. Strawberries are okay. Grapes are war crimes.

[go4goald2]: I feel like that last one came from personal trauma. Did someone hurt you with a grape once?

[lostinthecrowd]: Maybe someone I loved trusted a raisin salad once and now I have trust issues.

There was a pause. Not long. Just enough to feel like breathing space.

[go4goald2]: I like it when you joke. makes me feel like you’re here with me.

Your fingers hovered over the keys. Usually, you'd have said something dumb in return. Or maybe something soft.

But tonight, your chest stayed quiet.

[lostinthecrowd]: Long day. Sorry if I’m quiet.

[go4goald2]: Don’t apologize. I just miss you a little, that’s all.

You stared at that one.

Because you knew what it meant.

Not big love, not declarations. Just… absence. Noticing.

[lostinthecrowd]: I'm still here.

You meant it. Even if it didn’t feel as loud as before.

Tofu shuffled in his sleep. You looked down at him: messy, needy, entirely your responsibility now, and thought, briefly, about how you´re starting to let Alexia back in.

Not fully.

Not all the way.

But enough that you noticed the difference when it came time to talk to someone else.

The next message blinked through.

[go4goald2]: Tell me something good about today, even if it’s small.

You hesitated. Then typed:

[lostinthecrowd]: A dog in a sweater made me laugh.

You didn’t mention it came from your wife. You didn’t have a reason to.

[go4goald2]: That’s good. I hope it was a ridiculous sweater.

[lostinthecrowd]: It was, had pompoms.

You let the conversation fade after that because something in your chest felt tangled. And you weren’t ready to unravel it yet.

The next day started with a video. A short one, blurry and too zoomed-in, but unmistakably Alexia’s voice narrating the sky. “You always said this was the best part of the day,” she said quietly. “I never used to get it. But I do now.” You watched it twice. Then three times. Her voice was still low and sleepy in the background, not performing, not polished. Just real, it even cracked a little when she said your name.

Then came the photo of the market: a fruit stand draped in fabric, oranges piled high, a dog curled under a chair in the sun. “You’d love it here,” she wrote. “They sell those weird dried apricots you always made me carry in my bag.” You smiled at your phone and hated yourself for it.

Tofu barked at the wall like he’d seen a ghost and then flopped over like he’d solved the mystery of grief. You rubbed the spot between his ears and stared at the screen. Didn’t reply. Not yet.

Alexia followed up an hour later. A selfie. Hair tied back, sunglasses on her head, a little smudge of something across her cheek like she hadn’t noticed it yet. The caption read: Bought a keychain with Tofu’s face on it. I’m either losing it or trying really hard to make up for being the worst. Probably both.

You laughed, quiet and unexpected.

Your thumb hovered. Then tapped out:

“Let me see the keychain.”

She sent it immediately. Tofu’s dumb little gremlin face stretched across a tiny acrylic oval. His eyes looked wild. His ears crooked.

Ale: He looks like he’s about to ask for financial compensation.

You grinned. You actually grinned.

And then immediately felt sick about it.

Because it felt good. Because she felt familiar.

Because it was easy again.

And that terrified you.

You responded slower this time:

“He’s a menace. I caught him dragging a towel into the shower today. He stared me down the entire time.”

Ale: Ha, asserting his dominance. I support it.

You didn’t answer. Not because you didn’t want to. God, you did. But because suddenly, your phone felt heavy. Like two versions of yourself were fighting for the same spot inside your chest.

You opened Chattr.

The last unread message sat there waiting.

[go4goald2]: You good today? Haven’t heard from you.

The timestamp was hours ago.

You locked your phone and set it on the coffee table. Then turned your attention to Tofu, who was currently attempting to scale the couch arm like a mountain goat. You reached out and caught him mid-fall. He blinked up at you like you were the center of the universe.

You wished the decision was that simple.

The message came mid-morning. You weren’t expecting it, not because she didn’t text anymore, she's gotten a little bit better at it, but because this one was different. Thoughtful. Preemptive. The kind of message Alexia would’ve sent years ago, before the silences, before the one-word replies.

Ale: Things are about to get a little busy over here cariño, travel, press, media stuff. I might go quiet for a few days. Didn’t want you to think I was ignoring you.

You sat with it. The softness. The effort.

Then another message blinked through.

Ale: There’s a package on the way. Nothing huge. Just… some things I thought might make your week easier.

You blinked. Stared. Didn’t respond right away. Then:

“You didn’t have to do that.”

Her reply came fast.

Ale: I know. That’s kind of the point.

Later that afternoon, the package arrived. Small and neatly packed.

Inside: A blanket she knew you always stole from her side of the bed that smelled like her. A bag of your favorite snacks, the obscure brand that’s only sold in like, two stores. A new chew toy for Tofu shaped like a dinosaur. A handwritten note.

Just in case the couch gets lonely. And so Tofu stops trying to eat your socks. I love you.

— A. 

Your throat went tight.

You didn’t text her right away. Couldn’t.

Not because it wasn’t kind. But because it was.

Tofu immediately attacked the toy as you sat on the edge of the couch, blanket over your lap, pretending you weren’t unraveling.

You didn’t mean to open Chattr. You really didn’t.

The apartment was quiet again and Alexia’s absence had left behind that weird echo of effort. Her blanket still folded neatly on the couch after you spent hours cuddled in it, the new toy Tofu had already half-destroyed. The note from the package had been tucked away in a drawer like a secret you weren’t ready to let go of, but also couldn’t look at too long.

You told yourself you were just going to scroll. Just going to peek.

But the message was already waiting.

[go4goald2]: Okay, critical question. If you could only keep one: garlic bread or fresh-out-the-dryer hoodies?

You smiled before you even realized it. Your fingers moved without thinking.

[lostinthecrowd]: Wow, cruel and unusual punishment.

[go4goald2]: I never said this game was fair. Pick one, coward.

[lostinthecrowd]: Hoodies, because I can survive emotional starvation but not physical cold.

[go4goald2]: Okay poet, calm down.

You laughed. Quiet and genuine.

Tofu yawned loudly, then climbed into your lap like he belonged there. You reached for your wine and settled in, heart beating a little softer than it had all day.

[go4goald2]: What’s something that always makes you feel better during your tough days?

You thought about it. Then typed:

[lostinthecrowd]: Dumb sitcom bloopers. You?

[go4goald2]: Videos of raccoons stealing food and running away like they know they’ve committed a crime.

That made you snort into your glass.

There was a pause after that. A few minutes where neither of you said anything. Then you typed, slower now.

[lostinthecrowd]: My wife’s trying. Like… actually trying. And I don’t know what to do with that.

Silence.

You wished you hadn’t sent it. You wished you could take it back.

Then the typing bubble appeared.

[go4goald2]: That’s a lot. Do you want to talk about it?

You hesitated.

Then:

[lostinthecrowd]: She sent me a blanket. Some snacks. A toy for the dog. Told me she’d be busy, but didn’t want me to feel alone. And it’s like… All the things I used to need from her. And now they’re here. and I'm just…

You stopped typing. Started again.

[lostinthecrowd]: I'm scared to trust it. I want to. I just don’t know if it’s real this time. And if it is, I don't know what that says about me because maybe I've changed too much to go back.

The response didn’t come right away.

When it did, it was simple.

[go4goald2]: You don’t have to go back. Maybe the person you are now deserves something forward.

You froze.

Because god. That felt like the truth.

[go4goald2]: And whatever happens, the version of you right now? She’s enough. Even if you’re scared. Even if you’re unsure. You’re still someone worth showing up for.

Your eyes burned before you could stop them. You didn’t even know what you were crying for. The effort? The loss? The fact that it felt so good to be seen, and so awful not to know where you belonged anymore?

Tofu snuffled in his sleep beside you. You wiped your cheek and typed:

[lostinthecrowd]: Thanks. I think I needed to hear that.

[go4goald2]: Then I’m glad I said it. I mean it.

You stared at the screen long after the message stopped glowing.

You didn’t know who this person was.

But they made you feel like maybe you weren’t breaking everything by trying to hold both things at once.

Pt. 5

[milkfordragons]

Brutal Tenderness: Will's Search for Affection Through Violence Will Graham’s search for affection through violence is one of the most intriguing aspects of his character. It’s evident, palpable in every charged interaction with Hannibal, that Will leans into physical affection only when it is intertwined with violence. We’ve all seen it, analyzed it, and poeticized it, but the more interesting question is: where does this pattern originate?

From the start, Will appears to be touch-starved, someone who does not receive much affection or even seek it out. His relationship with his dogs is practical rather than overly affectionate; they are his companions, not objects of doting attention. When Alana touches him, he reacts with surprise and instinctively leans into it, a small but telling moment. However, when Hannibal first touches him onscreen (in the episode where he discovers Hannibal helped Abigail hide Boyle’s body), Will doesn’t react at all. This absence of reaction is strange, was he already accustomed to Hannibal’s touch by this point? If so, it supports the theory that they had already been physically intimate offscreen.

There might be more evidence in the script: during the Tobias episode, Will was originally meant to touch Hannibal’s forehead, a moment that was ultimately cut. It’s plausible that Hugh, and his careful consideration of Will’s behavior, suggested Will wouldn’t be comfortable initiating that kind of contact yet.

The first time Will visibly reacts to Hannibal’s touch is when he has a fever after his seizure. His reaction is intense and from then on, his responses become more layered. In the ‘horse episode,’ Hannibal leans in as if to kiss him, and Will doesn’t move away, was this a freeze response, or was he already familiar enough with Hannibal’s physical affection that it didn’t phase him? The ambiguity of this moment is crucial. A lot of fans who were watching it live assumed they were about to kiss, an indication of how dramatically their physical dynamic had escalated seemingly out of nowhere.

The Randall Tier aftermath is the clearest example of Will’s association between violence and affection. Hannibal patches up his hand, and in the original script, he was meant to rub oil into Will’s skin, a far more intimate gesture than what made it to screen. Will, during this scene, is dissociative, his eyes closed, seemingly absorbing the sensation rather than engaging with it. Hannibal calls him back to the present, but his expression seems peaceful. Then in Mizumono, when Hannibal pulls Will close before stabbing him, Will’s microexpressions suggest a flicker of hope, if he truly didn’t expect the knife, what did he think Hannibal was going to do? The choice for them to lock eyes as Hannibal guts him seemed deliberate, adding layers of intimacy to the violence.

Later, in Dolce, after being wounded, Hannibal tends to Will’s injuries. The script describes this moment as “strikingly intimate,” though in execution, it felt toned down, likely due to censorship. Still, the subtext remained. Then, Hannibal carries Will home, cares for him, though we don’t see it onscreen. By the final episode, the pattern reaches its peak: Will initiates physical contact, actively seeking comfort after the brutal violence of the fight with Dolarhyde. He embraces Hannibal, using the pain as an excuse to hold onto him.

Will desires physical affection but has only ever received it in the context of violence. His relationship with Molly might have offered something different, but we don’t know how he truly felt about it. Their moments of intimacy were deliberately minimized in the show: deleted kisses, a removed post-coital scene where Will was meant to be naked in bed before retrieving Hannibal’s letter. These omissions seem intentional, reinforcing the idea that Will was emotionally distant, possibly even uncomfortable, with that form of affection. He never tells Molly he loves her. His entire relationship with her feels like an escape attempt rather than a genuine pursuit of happiness.

A deeper origin for Will’s dynamic with violence and affection could stem from childhood trauma. We could imagine his father was a cold and distant figure, and his mother was absent during crucial developmental periods. Maybe Will endured physical abuse, possibly even something cult-like in nature, an experience where love and pain were deliberately intertwined. A common manipulation tactic, the hot-and-cold approach conditions someone to associate pain with love, breaking them down only to build them back up. Hannibal, too, experienced something similar with his aunt, whose influence blurred the boundaries between love, control, and violation.

Will does not simply accept affection after violence, he seeks it. When he hugs Hannibal while injured in Dolce, it is not just an act of holding on due to pain; it is an excuse to embrace him, to finally allow himself to take what he wants. The culmination of this is the fall. Will, a man who spent his life resisting his desires, finally surrenders to the one thing he feared the most: to love the beast.

[yuzurujenn]

[2024.12.07] Echoes of Life Official Pamphlet Interview

YUZURU HANYU Interview

Q: How did the theme and concept of "Echoes of Life" come about? A: At first, I roughly thought of using philosophy as the theme. Later, when thinking about what kind of story to tell, I came up with around seven potential ideas in my mind. After filtering them, I ultimately settled on philosophy.

Q: After "GIFT" and "RE_PRAY," how did these experiences influence the theme and subject matter of this new project? A: "GIFT" was a bit like an autobiography. Through my existence, it told the preciousness of dreams. Everyone has dreams, but they might have forgotten them, and working towards those dreams is the meaning of my existence, something along those lines. "RE_PRAY," on the other hand, was about challenging how to express something I particularly like and elevate it along with the theme I wanted to convey. When creating "ICE STORY 3rd," I felt that the game theme in "RE_PRAY" had a strong impact, so the attention to the theme and subject matter would be stronger. I thought that just having a story might not be enough. I considered whether I should use a book, a game, or a town as a medium. After thinking about various possibilities, I concluded that a novel format would be the best, with philosophical elements woven into it.

Q: This time, you can read the storybook before the performance. A: This time, I decided to write it in the style of a novel, using literary style including punctuation and sentence structure, rather than my own conversational tone. Up until now, while I haven’t written in a poetic form, I have directly organized my personal feelings or the emotions of the characters into a story. But this time, I’ve added more situational details and descriptions to the story line. I hope that, by understanding these aspects, the audience can experience the images and performances at the same time. Of course, we’ve thought about how to make the audience feel something when watching the performance even if they don’t know the story. But if they know the story, they’ll be able to understand the details of "Nova" (the protagonist) and the world more deeply.

Also, I feel that reproducing exactly what I wrote might come across as cheap or too indulgent. While thinking about how to present it as a skating performance and create the visuals, I decided to leave the textual descriptions to the text itself. It might be better if the audience reads the storybook first.

Q: How did you write this story? A: I wrote it by hand. I always write by hand, even for "GIFT" and "RE_PRAY." I scribble on loose-leaf paper or blank sheets. Although I don't record the material exactly as it is, I often accumulate the content I want to tell and quotes that have influenced me in the notes app on my phone, and then write based on that. Writing by hand feels like a more direct connection to the brain, and it's easier for the brain to give instructions. Also, when typing on a phone or computer, predictive text comes up, and I feel like my words stop being my own. I don’t want to be led by predictive text, so I prefer writing by hand. Then, as I read it in my mind, thinking "maybe I should delete this part," I type it little by little into the computer. This time, I actually already had a story written, but after deciding on the title 'Echoes of Life,' I started over and wrote a new story from scratch. From writing by hand to typing and editing, I stayed up for three nights straight to complete it.

Q: Writing the story in three days or staying up for three nights is pretty intense! A: This time, I really wanted a cohesive story, so I thought, "If I don’t finish writing it now, the imagery of the story in my mind will collapse." Of course, it’s also because I had a deadline… If I didn’t submit it soon, it’ll be a problem! (laughs)

Q: What did you base your writing on? A: For "GIFT," I was influenced by lyrics from songs I liked. In "RE_PRAY," I was more influenced by instrumental music and the dialogue from games than by lyrics. This time, I read about four philosophy books and five novels. I’m not really someone who excels at writing, and I thought I only know how to write in a conversational tone. The words that come from my heart are very close to how I speak, and I thought if I just wrote them directly as a novel, it would feel too rough. Writing in poetry allows for that kind of expression, but if I'm writing a prose, I need to first internalize the structure of an essay, so I read several novels that interested me. I'm not good at continuously reading text, so I listened to the book's narration while following along with the written words, jotting down parts that I thought, "Ah, I really like this." Of course, this time, I was also influenced by games and lyrics.

Q: What books did you read? A: The books that influenced me the most this time were " The Trouble with Being Born " (by Emil Cioran) and "Underwater Philosophers" (by Rei Nagai). I combined the philosophy of life I learned in university with questions I’ve been pondering since young, like "What is life?" and "What am I?" Through this process, I realized that I needed to study more to fully grasp it, so I revisited philosophy more deeply and based the story on that knowledge.

Q: Are there new programs this time? A: Yes, there are quite a few!

Q: That’s very exciting! Why did you decide to include so many new programs? A: I just thought, "This song fits perfectly here," and chose the music accordingly. It ended up naturally turning out this way. When I worked on RE_PRAY, I arranged the songs the same way. But honestly, the theme of RE_PRAY was, in some ways, a bit bold. Since it was based on a game theme, it was very different from GIFT’s style, so if I had made it entirely based on my own interests, it might have alienated the audience that follows figure skating. So, although I had a lot of songs I wanted to use, I ultimately decided to focus on showcasing the game elements in the first half, and in the second half, I went with a more traditional style, integrating more figure skating-like programs. This ended up aligning with what I wanted to express, which was the duality of life. But this time, since it's a completely new story, I felt that using new programs was the best way to present it. Also, I seem to have become less concerned with overthinking things now. Or perhaps, because this time isn't just focused on my own interests, I thought, "This program works well" and "This song is nice too," so the song selection process went very smoothly.

Q: What is it like working with MIKIKO-sensei and the team to create ice shows? Since 'RE_PRAY' was a tour, we made many adjustments and identified many areas that needed attention. I also felt there were many aspects that required further evolution. Because I’ve spent a lot of time involved with stage direction, I’ve become able to view my performance not only from an acting perspective, but also start thinking, 'Maybe this lighting would be better,' or 'It would be better to add this program after this scene,' and even when creating the story, I think, “It should be shown this way.” I’ve really started to approach things from a more overarching perspective.

Additionally, I feel that I’ve become more reliant on others. There are many more situations where I think, 'This is not my area of expertise, so I’ll let go and entrust my worldview and concept to everyone.' On the other hand, there are places where I absolutely cannot compromise, and this tug-of-war is also a troublesome dilemma, but I’ve started to be able to think deeply about it.

Q: The premiere of Echoes of Life is also your 30th birthday! Happy Birthday! A: Thank you, but it's not actually my birthday yet (laughs).

Q: What are your thoughts on the premiere coinciding with your birthday, and turning 30? A: Of course, I have many thoughts. First, since Echoes of Life is themed around life, birth, and growth, I feel like the overlap with my birthday gives it a fateful feeling. From that day onward, Echoes of Life begins, and I think this mirrors the beginning of my own life in some way. Plus, it starts on a birthday that’s a multiple of 5 or 10, which makes it feel even more like destiny. As for turning 30... well, it’s more like the shift from “almost 30” to “in my 30s” (laughs).

Q: It's exactly 30, huh? A: Yeah, but I don’t feel like my body is deteriorating as I once imagined, and I can still skate so well! And even in this state, I am still needed by many people, and this once again makes me feel so touched, or rather, so happy. I feel that I must push myself and work hard!

Q: I only mentioned your turning 30 because it’s a nice round number, but honestly, I don’t feel your age. What I feel is that since the RE_PRAY tour, you’ve been strengthening your body again, and you seem even stronger now. A: As I got older, my expressiveness deepens, which is something that can happen in any field. But my foundation, the most important part, is as an athlete. I’ve been figure skating for 25 years, and that part of me continues to evolve even at the age of 30. That makes me really happy, and I’m able to still have hope for myself, or rather, I feel anticipation for the future.

Q: By the way, do you remember anything from when you were 20? A: Of course I do! It was during Barcelona Grand Prix Final. I was super restless on my 20th birthday, as if the world would change just because I turned 20. That’s how anxious I was (laughs).

Q: Did the world change? A: Not at all (laughs). After that experience, I feel that even if it’s my 30th birthday, a year or a day will just pass by as a commemoration, and basically, nothing will change. But after all, I am an athlete, so I will definitely feel the changes in my body more and more. DNA will continue to be damaged anyway, so I think there will definitely be changes. However, I don’t think these changes will necessarily happen in multiples of five years. Change will come when it’s time, and the opportunity for change isn’t measured in time units like years. So, I’m relatively optimistic about this aspect. I don’t think, "My body will change at this moment." When I was 24, I really felt that my body had changed deeply, and I was troubled by the thought, "I’m getting old, and I can’t do it." But once I got past that point, I felt, "It’s still early!" "There are so many things I can do—why am I talking about being old?!" "It’s just things I haven’t done yet!" (laughs). I’ve learned a lot so far, and I’ll continue to learn in the future. As long as there’s room for continuous learning and improvement, even if I’m approaching 40—an age generally associated with a decline in physical strength—I think the gains from evolution will far outweigh the losses from decline.

Q: After hearing such inspiring words, I have one more question. Do you remember anything from your 10th birthday? A: I went to Tampere when I was 10.

Q: Oh, that’s when you competed at the Santa Claus Cup in Tampere, Finland, right? A: Yes, when I was 10, it was my first international competition. After winning that first international competition, I was on the plane home, listening to Bridge of Glory and crying... I was looking out the window, thinking, “Have I really made it this far?” And I just cried there (laughs). It’s funny, right? Don’t you think it’s funny? (laughs)

Q: That’s very cute (laughs), you must have been really emotional. A: Yeah, I was really happy. It was 2004, the Athens Olympics were in the summer, so the theme song was Bridge of Glory (NHK’s official theme for the Athens Olympics). I listened to it on my MD player. Every time I hear that song, I remember being in that airplane cabin (laughs). That was when I was at my strongest.

Q: Now, 20 years later, what are your thoughts on Echoes of Life? A: Right now, there are still many new programs that need choreography, and I need to focus on creating them. As the title Echoes of Life suggests, I want to pour my soul into every part of the creation process. Even though the tour means the program will constantly evolve, first and foremost, I want to create the perfect and best performance for the premiere. I will do my best!

MIKIKO Interview

Q: How did you first encounter "Echoes of Life"? A: After finishing RE_PRAY, we started discussing the theme for the new ICE STORY, and Hanyu-kun frequently mentioned “philosophy” and having “words to leave an impression.” When I heard this, I told him, "This really sounds like your style, and it seems like it will be really interesting!" I also said, "It feels like it will be different from past works, which is great." Later, I received a rough outline of the plot, and soon after, I got the full story.

Q: What was your impression after reading the story? A: Since it was written in the form of a novel, it felt lighter to read. However, the detailed scenes and the depiction of emotions in the language were very much infused with the unique beauty of Japanese language nuances, so I thought, "This is really difficult!" (laughs) It was hard to translate it into a performance. Since I was imagining how to bring it to life on the ice while reading, from the perspective of how to express the story, it was really challenging.

Q: What specific parts did you find difficult to represent? A: For example, the line “a slight cold sweat broke out in my stomach” is interesting to read, but then I had to think about how to turn that expression into an image or a performance. Additionally, like with RE_PRAY, each team member had different interpretations of the story after reading it. While this made it interesting, it also took a lot of time to harmonize. Just like with RE_PRAY, I think we’ll only understand after the official performance, “Ah, so this is what Hanyu-kun wanted to convey!”

Q: Was there anything special in your approach to the stage design? A: Normally, I’m responsible for directing live concerts or choreography for each song. For example, when I choreograph, I want the composers and lyricists to feel that their work is being presented even better and shine even more. The same goes for directing. In Echoes of Life, the original creator himself is performing, so I think the most important thing is to understand his intentions as much as possible. However, I also have to look at the work as objectively as possible. So, I try to view it from multiple perspectives—Hanyu-kun’s perspective when he was writing, the audience’s perspective, the perspective of his most loyal fans, or even someone who doesn’t know anything about him. I incorporate all of these viewpoints into the stage design. During this process, I try to set aside my own subjective thoughts. Even though it may still end up with a “MIKIKO style,” I believe I completely stripped my own biases while creating it.

Q: Did you choreograph for Hanyu in Echoes of Life? A: Yes, I choreographed a new program and also made adjustments to others. From RE_PRAY to Echoes of Life, Hanyu has done a lot of foundational dance training. I taught him all the training techniques that professional dancers go through. I think he’s probably been integrating those movements into his figure skating training day by day. So, when I choreographed for him this time, I felt like his body had almost found a new way of expressing itself. This physical transformation left a strong impression on me.

Q: What exactly was the change? A: Last time, it felt like he was trying to somehow integrate dance into his figure skating body. But this time, it felt more like I was choreographing for a professional dancer. He’s always been great at mirroring movements, so before, he probably focused on memorizing the 'form' of the movements and then forcing his body, which felt awkward, into that 'form,' practicing it repeatedly. Now, however, it’s become more about understanding how to use the body and then adding the 'form' on top of that. This reverse approach, I think, makes it easier for him.

Q: What specific techniques did you teach, MIKIKO-sensei? A: It was really basic, foundational training. Dancers will incorporate ballet techniques, so that was part of it, along with some stretching methods. Also, as a body meant to be appreciated in 360 degrees, there’s a training method where you place a plate on your palm and perform movements without letting the plate fall. Even if the front of the body can ensure the plate doesn’t fall, to prevent it from falling from the back, you need to keep the back flexible. This kind of training helps to create a more three-dimensional body. So-called dance movements are all connected; curves and circles need to be completed in one continuous motion. If a joint is stiff in any part, the movement becomes rigid. And we try to make all movements flow as curves. I also taught him exercises to relieve joint stiffness, so I feel that now his nerves can more effectively reach every corner of his body.

Q: Hanyu has incorporated so many new things! A: He said he was originally self-taught, analysing 'to perform this kind of movement, I probably need to use my body this way.' I think his analysis has come together this time. It’s like he not only solved the current problems but also answered some of the questions he had before.

Q: This is your third time directing one of his ice shows. What is unique about the experience of directing an ice show? A: Ice shows continue to present new challenges for me. One distinctive aspect is that the size of the rink is always fixed, so the challenge lies in creating a unique visual experience within those constraints. While the fixed size can be limiting, it’s also exciting. In contrast to performances with more confined spaces, ice shows offer a generous amount of space to work with. It feels like painting on a canvas full of endless possibilities, and finding ways to transform the rink visually is a deeply rewarding challenge.

Q: You once said at the end of RE_PRAY, “I wonder what kind of work I would make next if I had the chance.” A: While working on “RE_PRAY,” I kept thinking about what might come next. From a visual perspective, I was certainly pondering that very question. As for the story, I felt that Hanyu-kun had fully expressed his own story through GIFT and RE_PRAY. So, I was looking forward to seeing if he would step outside of his own framework and what kind of story might emerge if he did. In the end, he created an entirely new protagonist, "Nova," and wrote a completely different story. I really didn’t expect it to change this much.

Q: As a director, how would you describe Echoes of Life? A: I think it’s a work that can showcase greater potential. In past works, the focus was more on how to showcase Hanyu Yuzuru as an artist and how to design a performance within the framework of figure skating. This time, it feels like the subject has shifted, and the focus is more on presenting a cohesive story. It feels fresh and also makes me feel like I’m being tested (laughs).

Q: Following RE_PRAY, this time you’ll also be touring in three cities. What is the appeal of touring? A: Yes, each venue has different perspectives, so it really tests our ability to adjust once we enter the venue. But the essence of touring is that the same work can offer completely different experiences and feelings in different venues. So, I plan to fully make use of the characteristics of each venue.

Q: One of the venues is Hiroshima, your hometown. A: It’s rare to secure the Hiroshima Green Arena. Echoes of Life explores themes of life and peace, and performing it in Hiroshima, especially around the time when the Japan Confederation of A- and H-Bomb Sufferers Organizations received the Nobel Peace Prize, feels almost like a miracle.

Q: What is it like working with this team? A: While all concerts and stage performances are difficult, the mountain we have to climb in ice performances is something that no other project can compare to. When I first received the original work, I instantly felt like a very high mountain was in front of me (laughs). Facing this towering mountain, we can only take it step by step, and right now, we can’t even see the summit. We can only start climbing from here, hand in hand (laughs). We’ve been thinking about how to make the audience understand this piece clearly within two and a half hours. The fundamental theme of the work is life and the things Hanyu has always cherished, so we must approach it with sincerity. The sense of unity, as everyone comes together to face this challenge, is especially strong.

Q: You’re climbing a mountain whose peak you can’t see yet. A: It feels like starting from a place where nothing is visible, and gradually being able to faintly see a hint of the summit. And when we step onto the stage, there's this feeling of being suddenly pulled to a higher place. The feeling of everyone working together toward that goal is truly joyful. Perhaps it's through this that we experience the value of what we’re doing. People from different fields come together at this point in time. 'How to minimize costs in a short period and complete the work efficiently'—these are the demands of the times. But this work allows us to set those concerns aside for a while, to handle things carefully, and to deliberately choose the tasks that are time-consuming and labour-intensive. That’s ICE STORY. It gives a sense of returning to the original intention. Although returning to that intention is also quite tough for me, this is the essence of ICE STORY. I think this quality may stem from Hanyu’s focus and self-discipline... I believe everyone involved in this work probably shares the same feeling.

Source: https://weibo.com/6473801248/P4gBakkFHhttps://weibo.com/6473801248/P4m5t0zmHhttps://weibo.com/6473801248/P5aCiDUf7https://weibo.com/6473801248/P4ePVBkFG

[lyragrayson4ever]

Jameson's letter to Lyra ( PLATONIC Jameson and Lyra)(p2)

Jameson endured Lyra’s hug for exactly three seconds before shrugging her off with a loud groan.

“Okay, okay, enough emotional trauma for one day. If I feel anything else, I might spontaneously combust.”

Lyra grinned. “Admit it. You care.”

He narrowed his eyes. “I care just enough to make sure your cake doesn’t go to waste.”

“Gee, how selfless.”

From the couch, Xander shouted, “Group hug!”

“No!” Jameson and Lyra yelled at the same time, which only made everyone else join in. Nash threw his arms around Grayson and Savannah. Gigi launched herself at Lyra. Even Rohan and Libby looked reluctantly amused. Avery tried to keep up as Xander pulled her into the chaos.

Lyra was laughing so hard she could barely breathe.

Later, after the crowd dispersed and the party trickled down to soft music and leftover snacks, Lyra found herself sitting out on the Hawthorne House balcony. The wind tugged gently at her dress. She was barefoot, holding the now-crumpled letter in her hands.

Jameson sat beside her, a soda in hand, legs propped up on the railing like he didn’t have a care in the world.

“I know you didn’t mean any of that nice stuff,” she said lightly, nudging his leg.

He took a sip. “Totally didn’t. I’m a pathological liar.”

“Of course.”

“But,” he added, “if you tell anyone I stayed up until two in the morning rewriting that letter three times, I will have no choice but to delete your identity from the Hawthorne database.”

“You rewrote it?”

Jameson made a face. “It was supposed to be a roast. You are annoying.”

She snorted. “I feel so loved.”

A pause. Then Jameson turned to her, serious for a split second.

“I meant it, you know. The Grayson stuff. He wasn’t really living before you.”

Lyra’s smile softened.

“And I’m glad you’re here. Even if you drive me absolutely insane.”

She bumped her shoulder into his. “Right back at you, Jameson. You’re the annoying gremlin older brother I never asked for.”

He grinned, wild and golden. “And yet, here I am. The gift that keeps on giving.”

They sat in silence for a beat, watching the stars scatter across the sky above Hawthorne House.

“Do you think Grayson will ever stop looking at you like you're his whole world?” Jameson asked, voice unusually gentle.

“I hope not,” Lyra whispered.

“Good. Because you’re it, Kane. You’re his whole damn endgame.”

Lyra blinked fast again. “That’s… wow. That was almost poetic. I think I’m gonna cry.”

“Please don’t. I only allow one emotional moment per quarter, and I already wrote you a letter.”

They both laughed. And under the starlight, it didn’t feel like just a birthday—it felt like a memory she’d carry forever.

Idk if I'm going to post part 3 or not yet but I'll see 🙈

[custardfist]

‘𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐎𝐄𝐒’ 🦸‍♂️🦸‍♀️

Felt poetic. Might delete later. 😊

[thetirashan]

There’s a lot of death and rebirth motifs in Nehrim. 

Narathzul emerges from a watery tomb, clearly leaving behind some part of himself in his distant past. He is reborn in the same place he dies, a dusty forgotten crypt.

Kim is reborn and flourishes under a new sun, glorious and free, yet they still end up crushed in the end. Fate keeps catching them by the heel again and again.

Arkt literally wears a death shroud over his face. Still it cover only half of it -- being one foot in the grave and all. He knows what it’s like to be dead.

[nymori]

I visited the sea and the seals came to me, rushing and sliding over coarse grains to call me sister, sister, you’ve returned - returned to a place I’d never been before - yet after generations of missing they still recognized one of their own, stolen or runaway or just simply lost, it didn’t matter anymore. They asked me to come into the water, to come with them, to come home, but if I ever had a selkie’s skin I lost it long ago. The only salt water I have lives in my eyes, safely controlled and these days mostly run dry. Even as they returned, unwieldy on land as I would be in their breathless water, the seals reminded me: you can never go back home, so anywhere can be your home if you decide it. They slipped beneath the waves, webbed tails tossed up as they dove to a land I could never know, and I tasted it, the sea crashing within me.

[forget-mad-not]

hi there! (Writing About Works In Progress / WAWIP #1)

here's a post with my possible future fanfiction plans!

(because i feel bold enough to share these with you cool people out there) (and i'd like to feel a bit productive, even though i'm very much not) (and i need motivation to get through exam season) (and maybe someone will be interested) (might delete later)

below the cut are some work titles and brief summaries as they live in my head right now, please, check the tags for fandoms, characters and ships!

(and look, tiny but shameless ao3 ad!)

(ps from the future: i reserve the right to make changes to these stories as they take final form.)

(the gif is a paid actor for attention seeking)

... would you like to play that we die?

fandom: unus annus

an unus annus alternate origin (and obviously ending) story about these idiots (TWO idiots!!!), memento and mori, as they get to know each other, as they try to get through the history of humankind, as they try to be, and then live, and eventually... as they try to die? (this will be so much more poetic than the channel itself would indicate, but i can't help myself.)

if you read that short thing i wrote for @ukulillii's birthday (IT'S DEATH, JIM, RUN!), you already know about mori. kinda. but there's a whole sappy backstory out there. the plot has to thicken, am i right?

A Voice Found Me. It Wasn't Ḿ̸͠i̢͞n̴̨͡͠é̶̡.

fandom: markiplier and jacksepticeye egos

a sequel? a continuation?? a spin-off??? whatever, it's for Story of A P̢u̵p͠p̕e͘t (Regarding Lost Things), from jameson's (tortured, almost completely deprived of his personality, condemned to nothing more than a cruel puppeteering) perspective. i want to experiment even more with writing styles and character voices, plus i really like the interesting chemistry of the host and jj. how their stories can be paralleled and contrasted.

dreams; an entity sings of broken reflections

fandom: markiplier egos (who killed markiplier?) / darkstache (they're husbands, your honour)

this is actually two song-based oneshots! 2in1! with very specific, very easter-egg-like word counts! to parallel each other! to mirror each other! like... a broken reflection. you get it.

in save us from our own two heads: torturing pre!wkm actor mark's dream while he's utterly alone <;3 (affectionate) (i feel sorry for him actually)

in stand up and shake this heart: torturing darkiplier's dream while wilford's sleeping next to them <;3 (also affectionate) (sounds less sad. i will make it sad. that's a promise and a threat.)

some experimental headcanons, with some elements of dream symbolism, and the challenge of whether i can actually write them in the word count i had planned. and i like dream sequences.

I'll Tell Youse Something About Yancy's Childhood

fandom: markiplier egos (who killed markiplier? / a heist with markiplier)

i'll tell youse something! as a son of (actor) mark and celine, yancy's childhood in the markiplier manor was... quite interesting. a bit lonely maybe. he can't remember much of it, though. he knows that - silly thing - he had an imaginary friend. it darkened the dark corners, whispered sweetly from the walls, and was always there when yancy felt alone.

so it's all about child!yancy and the house entity interacting. that's the whole premise. inspired by a scene in elisabeth - das musical. and here i want to crank up the 1920s/gatsby vibe to the max.

my heart-strings are tangled / please, cut-cut-cut them all

fandom: jacksepticeye egos / antistein

i made a reckless promise that one day i would write something... nice with anti and henrik.

well, when i write this, it won't be that day. this will be angst at its finest. (but i think @florenceisfalling, for example, will forgive me for this. right? ... right?)

but what can you do with a doctor and a demon, whose character flaws only fuel each other's until one of them (fatefully) burns out?even if none of them want that to happen. it seems like a preordained tragedy.

this story is so far the least developed of all, but i can already see that anti's little puppet-master skills will be very much at the centre of events, and that it will hurt, but in a very poetic way. ... fffffucking hell, i love them so much.

wow. if you are reading this now, you've actually reached the end of the post. so you've probably made your way through this list. which is incredibly nice, and thank you very much! (and i hope i haven't disturbed anyone's peaceful browsing.)

if you have any questions or comments about these fic plans, feel free to write and ask! ✨

(like, which one interests you most or something. no one is obliged to, of course, but then i might really feel i've been productive)

[the-river-is-right-there-chopper]

A rant! About leitmotifs in Ace Combat 7 soundtrack nonetheless!

We all know that good music is integral to the Fighter Aircraft Game Experience. AC7's soundtrack is no exception. But as much as everyone loves when Daredevil goes aAahAAhAaAAAAAA AAA AAAAAH, as much as Magic Spear and Enchanter are so good they had to make sequels, there are a lot of other melodies I'd like to discuss.

You can hear the first one when the 2nd mission starts. I'm talking about the descending synth with delay effect. If you've completed the game you should know it very well. It plays again right at the end of campaign in the tunnel run, mission 20. When I first made the connection, listening to Eastern Wind on its own, without dialogue, it felt weird but then it came to me. This leitmotif is like brackets enclosing the war. It plays before Trigger's first and then last encounter with UAVs. In Charge the Enemy it acts like foreshadowing, preparing for the first UAV encounter in mission update, while in Dark Blue it's sort of a reminder, Hey, you've come all this way, now it's just this one and it's over! Very poetic, I like it.

Eastern Wind

Space Elevator

But it's not the only Eastern Wind leitmotif that comes back later, this time it's this string melody, descending, leaping down with the last note going upward. Here it's prominent, and carries on for a while but the first four notes can be heard in another underrated track, Homeward. They're played first by a cello, and repeated in higher register, closer to the one in Eastern Wind. It's harder to make a connection between these two but I believe I've found a couple of explanations.

You see, there are two topics mentioned in dialogue in mission 2. The first one is civilian casualties. Right at the start we are told that HQ wants "no harm should be done to civilians and no damage is to be done to public facilities". And what is Homeward about if not the harm to civilians?

The second connection is minor but I still think it's there. Now I know that Knocker's line about trusting IFF is meant to foreshadow Faceless Soldier but it can also be linked to Homeward. That's because the leitmotif plays in the last gameplay segment when you have to ID the targets yourself. After the first and second mission update you don't have to do that anymore. Once again the music tells you it's the last time you're doing something! Neat.

Homeward

I've saved the pure speculation for last. Sol squadron leitmotif. When you fight over Farbanti you can hear the tenors singing "Dona nobis, perpetua bona". You can hear it again fighting Mihaly on his own, this time fitted for 7/8 time signature (a genius move but that's not what this post is about). These are not all of its appearances though. You can hear it in Two Pairs, accompanying your first encounter with Mihaly. Played by single horn, first two words separated from the last. Feels like that's it, right? Every mission where you fight against Sol squadron covered? Not exactly. There's two more.

First one is simple. You can hear it in Siren's Song and sure enough, there is a deleted cutscene showing Sol squadron. Alone, without Mihaly. There's a line left in the mission dialogue hinting they might come. This has an easy explanation, the track was finished before the mission and after final changes it was left there unnoticed.

Deleted Cutscene

The last one is far more confusing, partially because it's actually the first time this leitmotif appears in the game. Gunther Bay, the song that plays during the first section of mission 4 is practically built around it. It's played by multiple instruments, in couple of registers and is even sung by a soprano, with full lyrics! Why!? There's a radar operator talking with a patrol aircraft. No subtitles, Sky Keeper is talking over them. Was that meant to be a member of Sol squadron? Was it meant for the mission update? Was Trigger supposed to fight against them instead of Arsenal Bird's drones? Georg! Georg was supposed to be piloting the aircraft that shot down Harling! Was he a Sol squadron member in an early draft!? Does it make sense at all!?

Sol Squadron, Archange, Two Pairs

Siren's Song

Gunther Bay

[lokislittlesigyn]

so, i’m making this my own post because i’d hate to seem like i’m trying to argue with people!! i just want to share my opinion on mobius and loki and that time theater scene.

//loki spoilers

First, I definitely think Mobius was using the reel to get Loki to do what he wanted. It makes sense. Mobius’ main goal is, at least for now, to protect the timeline. That’s his job. He might think Loki’s neat, and he might care about Loki to some extent, but Loki’s not his main priority. Everything he showed Loki in the time theater was absolutely meant to (at best) persuade, (at worst) manipulate Loki into helping the TVA. It wasn’t chiefly for Loki’s benefit. At least, I don’t think so.

((Just a little disclaimer here, I don’t mean to say Mobius is a horrible monster or a soft, loving figure. Right now, he is at best a semi-neutral ally who seems to think Loki is better off alive than dead - so long as Loki helps, rather than hinders, their cause.))

In this episode, we get two scenes that introduce us to how Mobius relates to people. Mobius is clever. He’s persuasive. He is good at getting people to do what he wants.

With that child in the church? He acts approachable, sweet, and caring. Almost like a protective father figure. He makes a neat little stick figure and lets the child make it walk - it’s fun, it’s exciting, it’s appealing to a child. He lowers his voice and assures her the “devil” that scares her is afraid of him, and he’s going to take care of him. Through all this, Mobius gets what he wants - information. (side note - i still think this child is actually young sylvie and she murdered those tva agents, i may be wrong though)

Later, to Renslayer, he acts respectful, humble, and soft-spoken. He doesn’t interrupt the trial. He is obedient and respects her authority, and is careful not to make a fuss. He also ends their conversation with a compliment she seems to accept. In all this, Mobius gets what he wants - her agreement for him using Loki to help the TVA.

Again, I think those are both examples to show that Mobius has a good idea of how to convince people to go along with his ideas.

There’s certainly parts of the time theater scene that helped Loki open up and be honest with himself - like asking if he enjoys hurting people - but I think again, that was Mobius’s way of gauging how Loki really thinks and feels. He’s testing the waters. He wants to know if he can use this Loki against another one, because this Loki is here, this Loki is vulnerable, this Loki is the only good chance the TVA currently has, since they’re already losing so many units.

And what does Mobius want in this scene? Loki on his side.

So he tries different methods. He plays off of Loki’s emotional connections. He pushes Loki - especially when he shows Frigga, even earning an emotional outburst from Loki for that. But eventually, and this is the beauty of it - he can’t force Loki into it. Or at least, he doesn’t fully get the chance. For all of Mobius’s prodding (which i found rather cruel at times), blaming (again, for Frigga’s death - blatantly wrong, but it works, and she’s one of Loki’s biggest and most obvious weak spots), and evidence-backed claims (Loki’s defeat at the hands of the Avengers), what finally convinces Loki is Loki’s own actions and curiosity, and almost poetically: Loki’s free will.

Remember all of the talk about Loki’s story not being his own, Loki’s actions possibly being predetermined, the Timeline flowing the same way over and over and Loki is powerless to stop it? Well, Loki was the one to continue that reel. Loki was the one to look at his future. At his family. At his parents, his brother, himself. Loki was the one to find the truth. Sure, he used TVA tools to do so, but he did it alone and on his own accord.

Mobius has to return to Loki with a weapon because this god is a threat, he’s already gotten the best of Hunter B-15 and nearly broken out of the TVA. If you notice, the weapon Mobius is carrying is an orangeish color. That’s the kill color. He’s ready to delete Loki and cut his losses if it comes down to it, because for all he knows Loki’s now enraged and ready to kill him (Loki already said as much after being shown Frigga). But by then Loki is wounded, he’s broken, and he’s willing to comply because of the pain he’s felt, the love he’s seen, and the terrible reality that he can never return to the people he misses most.

This scene is being simplified a lot. I think it’s more than just a “it’s Loki’s therapy!” or “Mobius is a terrible person!” type thing. It’s complicated. Mobius isn’t cruel the whole time, but he isn’t kind the whole time either - and again I think that’s because Mobius isn’t on Loki’s side? Mobius wants Loki on his side. He clearly wants to work with Loki but he doesn’t let Loki get the upper hand on him - well, until Loki steals the time twister. Another example of Loki’s free will.

I just really like how, even while in previous scenes Mobius’s actions have persuaded others, in the end, Loki puts the crucial pieces together himself. Sure, Mobius gave him a push, and sure, Mobius reinforces and even comforts Loki a bit with that “I don’t see you as a villain” (paraphrased) line. But Loki exercised control, and free will, and made his own choices that determined the outcome.

Idk, this is a long post and I’m not sure if I made my point. I’ve been mulling over Mobius as a character for a while, and have tried to type up a single, succinct post to gather all my thoughts. May need to talk about it more, not sure. And my perspective/opinion might change, too! I might even be wrong! It wouldn’t be the first time. But I’ve been itching to talk about him a bit, so. Here you go.

[gingerbreadmonsters]

thinking about my one true love mc

tw: death and human mortality, discussion of what might happen after you die in the obey me! universe - these are all my own headcanons, and in no way am i saying that this is canon or that you should think this too! spoilers for lesson 37? 38? i can't remember which it is but iykyk

(these are pure hcs, a bit angsty but there is a happy ending here)

so, when it comes to the om! universe and mc's eventual fate, there are a few questions here - how will obey me end?

(by that, i mean what will happen to the om! cast after the events of the game end? because unfortunately the game can't go on forever)

all of the other characters we meet (including thirteen) are effectively immortal and unchanging - they will basically remain the way we know them to be indefinitely, so those dynamics between them, and the world of om! in general, will for all intents and purposes never disappear.

this means that mc's mortality is the limiting factor here - mc, as a normal (ish) human, will visibly grow older, age, and die at some point, in a way that the rest of the cast will not.

personally, i have a number of ways to get around that pesky issue of mortality - mostly because i am young, and in love with the idea of being young and in love forever (even though irl i know it doesn't work like that, and i have issues with the idea of immortality anyway).

so how can i make that happen?

(in order of how much i like them)

1. mc's pacts artificially slow down their aging process, either to the point that they age really slowly, or they don't age at all and are effectively immortal

2. the ring of light does the same thing as above

3. mc dies and becomes a demon afterwards (more on this in an upcoming study session!)

4. mc is transformed from a human into a demon, with the associated longevity and durability

5. mc's connection with lillith, strengthened/awakened by their pacts, extends their lifespan in some way

(digging nice and deep into angst potential here, but mc's mortality is such an excellent way to drive that sort of all-consuming, almost unhinged devotion that is so, so terrible in real life but so appetising in fic... the idea that this person loves you so incredibly, incomprehensibly much that the thought of you being gone is terrifying, that they will do absolutely anything to save/protect/keep you, and have to power to genuinely do so)

(not sure i want to know what this says about me)

i really really like the first idea of mc's pacts allowing them to stay with the cast for as long as they like - something poetic about the mutual love and trust between mc and their pact mates that gives them the chance to have the life and love they want

the second thing about the ring of light also appeals to me for much the same reason, although i think that's because i romanticise marriage and there are very obvious wedding ring parallels going on, also lucifer <3

the lillith thing is a bit of a stretch but i felt i had to include it because you could make a very good argument for it??

i'm not an enormous fan of leaning on mc's angel heritage for plot explanation, probably because i have quite strong opinions on the whole "it was inside you all along, not because you yourself changed, or were stronger or braver than you realised, but because something/someone else made you special - anyone could have achieved this if they had your luck, no matter what, because the power to do so didn't have anything to do with you specifically"

idk where i was going with this, maybe i'll edit this later or delete it entirely?

[skullsandwineglasses]

The Rebel Princess - Final Review (SPOILERS)

I tend to be quite critical right after I watch the finale of a drama since emotions are high, so my review might be a little harsh. My feelings might simmer over the next few days while I digest things, but for now, I’ll break down my impressions into 3 parts: The “Good”, The “Didn’t Make Sense”, and The “Could Have Been Better”. 

The “Good” 

The final scene. That’s the first immediate good thing that comes to mind. That’s probably the only good thing tbh. To be clear, these last 5 episodes weren’t bad. Everyone got their comeuppance, our leads live happily ever after, and Wang Su finally sees the light and goes against Daddy Wang by saving baby Jing’er. But, there were quite a number of things that frustrated me while watching. 

I will note one other good thing, which is that we got to see our favourite OTP act out a show to misdirect the rebels in hiding and lure them out. We finally get to see our leads collaborating and putting their smarts together! But, this meant that they had to separate again for the millionth time in this drama. And even though it was just an act, the fake confrontation scene between them still stung. As a trashy romantic, I wish we got to see more scenes of them together, especially towards the end of the drama. 

The “Didn’t Make Sense”

But because we finally get to see them work together, I wished we got to see more scenes with them plotting together. This is the first time that they’re working together to uncover a political plot, and yet it’s only relegated to one short conversation scene between them after Awu returns from meeting with her brother who refuses to tell her who’s behind the scenes pulling the ropes. 

ALSO, the drama never really addressed how Xiao Qi kind of handwaved Zitan’s involvement in the Neem Yu Shan plot. How did Xiao Qi go from “I need to have vengeance for my betrayed fallen soldiers” to “I need to help uncover the plot against the crown”. It’s kind of implied that Awu might have already told Xiao Qi about the truth before Song Huaien does, but the drama never makes that clear because we never see that scene if there was one. If Xiao Qi learns about the truth from Song Huaien first, does he then talk about to Awu? Again, we don’t know because it’s never shown to us. Instead, right after we see him learn about it from Huaien, it then immediately cuts to the confrontation scene with Awu. BUT, since this confrontation scene was revealed to be planned by them, it means that they’ve already discussed the Zitan problem in private beforehand, and Xiao Qi already knows that Awu knows, but we never see this conversation. It’s also revealed that they’ve long been suspicious of Huaien, but when did this suspicion start? Again, we don’t see this conversation. We just have to guess. 

This is just one example of how these last 5 episodes made it VERY obvious where scenes were deleted. A lot of scenes were cut abruptly where one scene would suddenly cut to the next, and you kind of had to infer what happened between those scenes. Things still made sense and you could still follow along, but you could tell that they cut out scenes that would have helped flesh things out and make the transitions smoother.

Villains: Nearly every villain in the drama (Jin’er, Zitan, and Song Huaien) turned back into their “good” old selves again during their downfall. And because of this, it made the finale of the drama pretty underwhelming. Jin’er expressed how she misses the old days to Awu and calls Awu one of the most important people in her life, Zitan sees the light and promises to yield the throne to his nephew and face punishment for his actions, and Song Huaien uses his last dying breath to ask Xiao Qi to take him back to Ning Shuo and how he doesn’t want to be in the capital anymore (when he literally has an arrow to the heart while sitting on the throne he just stole). These characters take an abrupt 180 degree turn when they’ve been blind with envy and hatred for most of the drama. Just moments ago they were shooting daggers out of their eyes, and then suddenly they regret everything they’ve done. Their downfall felt too easy, and their redemption felt even easier and unearned. And Awu forgives all of them (as expected). When she pitied Zitan, I was like, girl, he doesn’t deserve your pity. I get that she needs him to sober up in order to discourage the rebels, but still. He had his own brother killed and tried to have her husband killed. Instead she consoles him like a lost puppy. I know that Awu’s a saintly character, and I’ve talked about the virtues of her character before, but sometimes I wish she’d be a little less saintly. 

I think Daddy Wang’s final scene fit most well with his character. He’s defeated, but doesn’t entirely express regret for his actions. Which makes sense for his character. He’s never doubted his decisions all throughout the drama, so why would he start now. Even when Awu asks him if he ever loved her mother, he doesn’t answer her. Instead, he deflects the question back to her to ask if she loves Xiao Qi or Zitan, which is such a laughable question. How is Zitan even still considered a potential love interest for Awu at this point? In response, Awu tells him “此愛非彼愛”. Which I’m still trying to interpret?? To directly translate it, it would translate to “this love is not (comparable to?) love”. I’m having trouble interpreting  非 彼. 非彼 means “not comparable to”. Is Awu saying that this love isn’t comparable to another love? Is she saying that this love isn’t considered love? Love for whom? Is she taking about her love for Xiao Qi and how it’s not considered “love”. Does she mean what she feels for him is more than love, or different from love? Or, does she mean her past love for Zitan isn’t love? Why is her response so vague? Her dad asks her if she loves Xiao Qi or Zitan, and she instead gives him such a dense, poetic response. Maybe my mandarin isn’t up to par to translate these historical dialogues, so I’ll be curious to see how the subs translate this line. Anyway, in the end, Awu asks her father if he would agree to being buried next to her mother, and after ignoring the question for a bit, he finally says that he wants to be buried next to her.

The treatment of women: The Elder Princess and Yu Xiu both sacrificed themselves in hopes of getting their loved ones to stop rebelling. And then Awu pulls the same move with her father in order to remind him what her mother had done in hopes of stopping him. And this was after we see Hu Yao and Nanny Xu needlessly die in the previous episodes. So all these female deaths and sacrifices made it feel like the female characters in the drama are disposable and can be easily killed off by the writers. It just didn’t really sit well with me that on 3 instances in this drama, a female character tries to use herself as leverage against a male character who’s about to commit treason. I’m also still not over Hu Yao’s death at the hands of Song Huaien, and we never get to see a proper burial for her because she’s a minor character, so the drama couldn’t be bothered to show it. The Dowager Empress also had a very anticlimactic end. She was such a major player pre-episode 50, and then suddenly she was bedridden and only heard about palace news from her maid and wasn’t able to exert much influence over the court. It was a little disappointing that we don’t get to see her wield any of her old power again after episode 50.

The “Could Have Been Better”

This might be unpopular opinion but, I think Awu and Xiao Qi kind of lost their spark in the last couple of episodes, or at least, it’s more subtle now. Probably because the plot was focused on bigger things, which I understand. These are the final episodes after all. They’re also a long-married couple now, they don’t need to constantly reaffirm their love to us. And the final scene was sweet, so I shouldn’t be complaining, but I wish we got more scenes of them alone together. I said this in a reply on another post, but their sexual tension peaked during the early episodes of the drama. It’s too bad we don’t see that level of chemistry again.

Something that I found funny was how we see Awu stand next to Zitan by the throne twice to protect him. The setup was almost exactly the same between the two scenes where Awu stands to his right. It was like the writers couldn’t figure out a new configuration for how to block the scene. The first time was during the “pretend confrontation” with Xiao Qi, and the second time was against Huaien. I just felt the the repeat setup of this scene was kind of boring and uncreative to watch. It was like the writers couldn’t come up with another way to stage a potential rebellion, so we’ll just have Zitan be cornered around on the throne twice. 

Also, Huaien wanting to suddenly take the throne and also Awu as his Empress? First of all, I don’t understand why people, who don’t have the approval of the masses, always want to become Emperor. Do they not realize that by forcibly seizing power, you’re going to lose it just as quickly because no one likes you and they’ll try to take you down? I have the same criticism for Daddy Wang and Zitan. But does Huaien think that he has enough military power to become Emperor? And unlike Daddy Wang, Huaien doesn’t have any significant political impact over the lords. Also, does he think that Xiao Qi would just never come back? Second, him asking Awu to become his wife? We don’t really see him feeling tortured over his affection for Awu again since his wedding with Yu Xiu, and now suddenly, years later, it’s revealed that he still yearns for her? And he declares his love right after stabbing her dad? I mean, writers, please. I know you want to create drama, but it has to make sense.

To be honest, I’ve always found Huaien’s character arc a little hard to believe. He’s such a noble character for the first third of the drama, and then it’s revealed that he’s always secretly harboured a greedy side. A side that craves status and recognition. He then downward spirals into this monster who kills nannies and female comrades and wants to be emperor. We see small hints of his desire for the throne, like when he eyes Daddy Wang’s tailor-made royal robes. But this desire is not fleshed out enough. Huaien’s arc could have worked, but because the drama didn’t focus enough on his internal struggle at the beginning since he isn’t the main character, the change felt abrupt. I don’t know how the book handled it, so I can’t speak to that. 

Things just escalate so quickly in this drama. I can now see AvenueX’s criticisms about the political plot of this drama and how it looks like it could have be written by a 10 year old. The writers seem to want to make things as surprising as possible, while also using a lot of old tropes that it becomes predictable. It’s very unrealistic. And the villains’ motivations and ambitions seem limitless. It felt like anyone could lay claim to the throne. 

The political scheming in this drama has never impressed me, so I suppose that I shouldn’t be surprised that these last few episodes were just as lukewarm. The problem with the political plot of this drama is that there were no smart characters except Daddy Wang. It’s just a bunch of drama queens(TM) who want power, but do a poor job of thinking things through. 

The highlight of the drama was the romance, which was a huge surprise since I didn’t start watching this drama for the romance. And yet, despite the romance being the highlight, the OTP is constantly being separated, and we barely got to see them together in the last few episodes. And the scenes that they did have together in these last few episodes weren’t memorable. If anything, their chemistry kind of fell apart during these episodes because we barely see them communicate directly with each other. 

Final Thoughts

Overall, I’d still recommend this drama just for the leads alone. You don’t see that kind of chemistry in idol dramas, and I don’t know when we’ll be able to see this level of acting between two well-matched actors in dramas again. Watching them is almost like a once-in-a-life-timeline thing. However, I think the average viewer might become frustrated with Awu halfway through. The drama’s also very bingeable (in fact it should be binged, instead of dragged on for almost 2 months). I think I would have enjoyed more if I watched all the episodes at once, instead of waiting for episodes as they came out every week, which meant that while waiting, I started to pick apart little issues that I had with the drama. 

[aer-in-wanderland]

구미호뎐 | Tale of the Nine Tailed - Lost in Translation EP02

Back by, possibly not popular, but certainly very enthusiastic demand: my sister’s and my continued adventures in mistranslation and cultural subtext. You can find EP01 here. Buckle up and settle in for another monster post because, wow, a lot happened in this episode. Contains spoilers. 

Prologue

We open with a sweeping view of Baekdudaegan as Yeon narrates about his past as the god who presided over it. For context, Baekdudaegan is the biggest and most famous mountain range in Korea, taking up an enormous swath of the Korean peninsula (to the extent that it’s often referred to as its ‘spine’ or ‘backbone’). So Yeon wasn’t lying when he said he was a ‘major’ mountain god. ;) 

Yeon: You could say these were my Leeds Days. I was the master of Baekdudaegan, a mountain god who controlled the wind and rain,* and a gumiho who was, from the start, of a different caliber than the mongrel foxes you see in Hometown of Legends.  ...Or, I was.”

[*Note: Can also be taken to mean ‘the natural elements’ in general.]

When Yeon refers to his ‘glory days,’ the term he uses is ‘Leeds Era’ (리즈시절). Originally a sporting term for the height of a footballer’s career, in Korean, the expression has come to be used to describe a person’s bygone glory days. The modern figure of speech (complete with English loan word) makes for a funny counterpoint to the Yeon we see on screen and recalls the mint-chocolate loving American TV show enthusiast we’ve known him as so far. 

The other modern reference he makes is to Hometown of Legends (전설의 고향), which has been the title of numerous dramas and movies (1977-2018) centered around Korean myths and legends. This is basically the equivalent of an alien referencing the X-files. Overall, the narration serves to remind us just how modern our gumiho has become and clashes humorously with the visual onscreen.

Yeon’s above narration concludes with the first appearance of little Ah Eum, who immediately proceeds to pet the mighty master of Baekdudaegan as if he were her pet dog pfft (thus the ‘....or I was.’) 

As an aside, tvN released some backstory information revealing that Ah Eum had gone to find Yeon in order to pray for rain. Which means she pet him in spite of that lol We also know from the past-life sequence in episode 10 that she had actually been warned never to venture anywhere near his mountain because a 1000 year old gumiho lived there. It’s almost as if her guardians don’t know her at all...

For anyone keeping track, Ah Eum uses banmal with Yeon from the very beginning. We find out why later. As a princess (even one who had been discarded), she’s used to outranking everyone around her and therefore speaking almost exclusively in banmal. To be fair, with her temperament, Yeon being a 1000+ year old mountain god probably just wasn’t enough to get him an automatic pass from her. Point for Ah Eum/Ji Ah character continuity. 

Yeon: If I could rewrite* my past just once, I would return to this moment without hesitation. So that that child could never find me. 

[*Note: Literally, ‘A/S my past,’ which I’m pretty sure has its roots in computer usage. So again, thoroughly modern vocabulary from the former master of Baekdudaegan.]

We transition from young to grown Ah Eum with a sweep of the Red Umbrella. According to tvN again, this umbrella was actually a gift from Ah Eum to Yeon, and it’s also the same umbrella Yeon still carries everywhere. It’s somewhat poetic, then, that it was this umbrella that lead Ji Ah to him. So, a meaningful item on multiple fronts. 

Yeon: Some called it, ‘the scandal of the age that shook Baekdudaegan.’ To think, a mountain god who had given his heart to a human... Nowadays, it would have felt like a disciplinary hearing, but I didn’t care a whit. I liked her [presence] permeating my woods. 

As you might have guessed, this love story ends in tragedy. Someone stole her life. Once she crossed the River of Three Crossings, I would never be able to see her again. I couldn’t hold on to her, but nor could I bear to let her go...so I resorted to abusing my power. 

The BGM playing as Yeon narrates the ending of his tragic story is ‘The Parting at the River of Three Crossings,’ which I think of as the epic love theme of TotNT alongside ‘Sad Fate.’ Why do I keep mentioning the BGM? No reason, other than that it interests me. ;)

On a linguistic note, Yeon’s line, ‘Someone stole her life’ caught my attention from the first time I watched this due to his unusual usage of the word ‘life.’ Korean has multiple words for ‘life.’ The one that would typically be used in this context is ‘moksoom’ (목숨), which I think of as having the nuance of one’s life force. So to steal one’s ‘moksoom’ would mean to kill them. Instead, he uses ‘insaeng’ (인생), which is more like the life one leads. To steal someone’s ‘insaeng’ sounds more like a case of identity theft. As we find out later, that actually is what Imoogi did, and this hinted at that linguistically. 

I’m not sure how well this translated, but the gesture of Yeon kneeling is both epic and heartbreaking. Kneeling is a very weighty gesture in Korea, so for Yeon to use his godly powers to freeze the very River to the Afterlife only to kneel and beg for one last moment with Ah Eum is just... It’s a momentous enough gesture for Taluipa, the ultimate stickler for rules, to make an exception and grant his request. 

The fox bead: In Japanese lore, a fox’s bead is often akin to its life force, but that’s clearly not the case for Yeon. In Korean lore, fox beads are sometimes called ‘the treasure of a fox’s lips,’ since the bead is supposedly located within the fox’s mouth (and can thus be stolen/gifted with a kiss). Some tellings claim that someone who swallows a fox’s bead gains understanding of all things and phenomena in the universe, while others say they grant the bearer’s wishes. 

Yeon continues his narration, describing how he’s encountered women with Ah Eum’s face over the centuries, but that none of them were her. For anyone interested, you can find my hot take on that here.

Okay, can we please have a spin-off of Yeon hunting down folklore monsters in Japanese-occupied Korea Gaksital (2012)-style?

Fun fact: Based on some of the still cuts they released, there was actually a deleted scene in which Yeon pulled the late-Joseon era Ah Eum look-alike aside, checked her for the fox bead, and then erased her memories. (And by ‘fun’ I mean, ‘why would you delete that??’)

“I’ve been waiting for you.” Iconic.

Fun fact: Lee Dong Wook picked this as the most memorable line of the drama due to it’s thematic echoing across multiple episodes. 

On the topic of the tranquilizer, there was a deleted scene in episode 1 in which Ji Ah very openly 'borrowed’ it from Shin Joo’s vet clinic because she already suspected Yeon was a fox: fox fur, Fox Ridge... She was taking a pretty big gamble though since he’s not exactly your average fox. 

It’s worth noting that Ji Ah doesn’t say she was ‘looking’ for Yeon (although she was, because she’s a go-get-‘em kind of girl); she says she was ‘waiting’ for him. I took this to mean she was waiting for him to return and make good on his threat to kill her (since, not only had she not forgotten, she’d been actively sticking her nose into anything remotely supernatural or unexplainable), at which point, presumably, she planned to turn the tables on him. 

Episode 02 Title Card: I’ve Been Waiting for You

For anyone wondering how Ji Ah managed to get Yeon back up to his penthouse, apparently she told the security desk her boyfriend was drunk and boldly took him back up in the elevator (presumably with help) haha

Possibly coincidentally, Yeon’s first line to Ji Ah when he regains consciousness is the same as his first line to little Ah Eum: ‘Do you want to die?’ (minus the sageuk speak)

Ji Ah’s line, “I wouldn’t be sipping tea here if I was worried about that,” would more literally be: “If I valued my life, would I be sitting here drinking flower tea?”

Lol Ji Ah. “Want a cup?” is such a classy power play. 

Sub: “After the stunt you pulled, you’re actually offering me tea?” Ha. Also, what Yeon literally says is: “You pulled that variety-esque stunt, and your next line is what? ‘A cup of tea’?” ‘Variety’ here is an English loan word meant in the sense of ‘variety shows’ (ex. Running Man or 1 Night 2 Days), though to my knowledge, no one has ever been tranquilized on one. 

The following exchange was littered with enough small things I would have changed that I’ll just translate the whole thing here for reference:

Ji Ah: When a man and a woman have that level of physical contact, don’t they usually also drink tea or eat meals together, too? These days, the whole pure and noble act doesn’t go far.

Yeon: Whether it does or not, when you’re at a disadvantage, isn’t it considered common courtesy to come [to the table] having put aside either your pride or your self-esteem [i.e. at least one of the two]? 

Ji Ah: Listen until the end before you determine who’s at a disadvantage.

Yeon: (Nodding) In exchange, if my thinking still doesn’t change, you’ll pay the price for having tested me. 

Ji Ah: Price?

Yeon: Your sight (literally ‘eyes’). I’ll be taking your eyes that have seen what they shouldn’t have.

Ji Ah: Deal. (literally, ‘call’ as in poker)

Rang & Yoo Ri Crash a Funeral

In the off chance you were wondering why this is basically the only time we see Rang driving Yoo Ri and not the other way around, it’s because Yoo Ri is ‘in character’ as the daughter of a major conglomerate and wouldn’t be expected to drive herself if there was another person in the car. In Korea, there’s a whole code of etiquette around who sits where in the car. 

Instead of ‘Lee Rang-nim’ the subs have Yoo Ri addressing Rang as ‘sir.’ That just strikes me as so distant and cold...

To my thinking, this scene was peak ‘Hoket-dan.’ It was nearly the same level of over-the-top campy as some of the old supervillains. If I’m being perfectly honest, I was worried at this point that Rang’s character would turn out to be equally 2D. Joke’s on me though, ‘cause this later became a hilarious character quirk when Sajang says to Rang, “It can’t be that you came to enjoy watching me die?” and Rang responds, “I love doing that! Look, I even brought popcorn. I even go about visiting funeral homes and stuff on purpose.” lol

Ji Ah’s Gamble

Okay, but Yeon actually took her up on tea haha I love it. 

Subs: “So you’re a fox that’s pretending to be human.” The word they use here (and throughout the drama) is ‘doongap’ (둔갑), which is literally ‘to assume the form of.’ Unfortunately, there’s no verb in English that neatly conveys that, so this gets subbed a lot of ways. I’ve mostly been translating it as ‘transform,’ but that’s more properly ‘byeonshin’ (변신). Sometimes with translation, the best option still isn’t great. 

It’s also worth noting that this is actually not what Yeon is doing here, since he sees those sorts of tricks as beneath him. Yeon is a cheon’ho; his human form is his own. 

Sub: “What a lame reaction. A normal human being would scream...” More literally: “What kind of reaction is so lacking in sincerity? Generally, if [you’re] a human, I should at least get a scream...” Again, both ‘reaction’ and ‘scream’ are in English, and, somewhat humorously, Yeon uses the verb + juda (주다) form, implying he was hoping to elicit a scream with his reveal pfft

Sub: “No. I knew something like you would exist somewhere out in this world. I started directing a TV show about urban legends so I could catch you myself.” This is mostly fine, but what she says more literally is: “No. I knew something like you would exist somewhere in this world. In order to catch [one] myself, I buried my bones in a TV show about urban legends.” To ‘bury ones bones’ means ‘to devote oneself entirely to’ and implies more drive and dedication than in the sub. The subject is once again omitted, so she could mean Yeon, but I think she actually means ‘things like Yeon’ more generally. 

Yeon’s line to Ji Ah when she asks him about their long ago encounter was subbed as: “I followed the smell of blood, and I ended up saving a little kid. But I can see that she’s very ungrateful.”  I would translate this as:

Yeon: I smelled blood and followed it, and ended up saving some little girl (lit. young child), but now I see that that child is trying to repay a favor with enmity.

The expression Yeon uses here, to ‘repay a favor (eunhye) with enmity (wonsoo),’ is a common turn of phrase. It’s the Korean equivalent of ‘biting the hand that feeds you,’ or ‘repaying good with ill.’ Considering eunhye has actual consequences for Yeon, he doesn’t seem all that put out. 

Lol Something about Lee Dong Wook’s delivery of Yeon’s line, “So you lost your parents...” reminds me of the Oscar Wilde quote: ‘To lose one parent may be regarded as misfortune; to lose both looks like carelessness.’ 

Sub: “I’m not threatening you. I’m taking my chances.” This should be: “You’re mistaken. I’m not threatening; I’m gambling.” This turn of phrase is rather clever in Korean since ‘threat’ (협박) and ‘gamble’ (도박) are only one syllable off. In terms of the subs, while ‘gambling’ and ‘taking my chances’ are similar on the surface, they’re different enough in nuance that I would consider this a mistranslation. ‘Gambling’ implies an informed, calculated risk, whereas ‘taking my chances’ gives the impression of improvisation and leaving everything up to luck. 

The Funeral Parlour

This scene is Rang in a nutshell. I actually don’t have much to comment on linguistically, but it was definitely an important scene for establishing Rang’s MO and motivations. 

Shin Joo & Yeon

Yeon and Shin Joo meet up at the ice cream parlour to debrief on the situation with Ji Ah, and it’s cute how Shin Joo is more indignant over what went down than Yeon.

Subs: “It’s like we exist to repay people for their kindness.” This has been grossly paraphrased due to lack of cultural context. His line is literally: 

Shin Joo: It’s not as if we’re magpies meticulously repaying our eunhye! Geez, how long do we have to be bound by that sort of premodern contractual relationship?” 

This is another Korean folktale reference, this time to the story of The Grateful Magpies. I elaborated on it a bit here.

Yeon: “It’s old-fashioned but romantic. And it's also a fox’s dignity.”  ‘Romantic’ here is the French loan word ‘romang’  (로망). In contrast to the English ‘romantic’ (which is also used), ‘romang’ is used to refer to ‘anything marked by the imaginative or emotional appeal of what is heroic, adventurous, remote, mysterious, or idealized.’ ‘Dignity’ could also be translated as ‘grace of character.’ Yeon’s preoccupation with style/swagger/dignity is enough of a recurring theme (and occasional joke) that it features in his character profile.

For anyone keeping track, Shin Joo refers to Ah Eum as ‘Ah Eum agasshi.’ ‘Agasshi’ meaning ‘miss’ or ‘lady.’

Shin Joo’s line is subbed, “Does she bother you?” but it should be: ‘Does it bother you?’ where ‘it’ refers to the fact that Ji Ah so closely resembles Ah Eum. 

Sub: “I’ve seen tons of people who looked like her for hundreds of years.” It’s actually not ‘tons of people,’ but ‘a couple’/‘several’ over the course of hundreds of years. Let’s be honest, people as pretty as Jo Bo Ah just aren’t born every day. ;)

Yeon’s line may be overly blunt, but it’s sweet that he calls Shin Joo, ‘Shin Joo-ya.’

Back over to Ji Ah. The way this scene suddenly switches from sentimental to horrifying is great. I also like that it’s unclear when she fell asleep. The boundary between reality and unreality is as blurred for the viewers as it is for Ji Ah, and it leaves us with a similar sense of disquiet.

In case it wasn’t already clear, it’s the tooth on this skull that leads Ji Ah to Eohwa Island. She sees a skull with an identical tooth in the news and goes to investigate. 

Afterlife Immigration Office

LOL Hyeonuiong briefing the newly departed on death via powerpoint is hilarious. The powerpoint reads: ‘A Guide to Hell for the Dead, Presenter: Hyeonuiong.’  The red sigil on the right bears the characters ‘十王’ (the Ten Kings), so I guess this is an official, Afterlife-approved slideshow. heh

Side note: I’m impressed with the way this show seamlessly shifts between genres. We went from emotional to creepy to funny without it feeling forced or jarring (or at least, it didn’t to me). 

The powerpoint (complete with webtoon) continues cheerily: “Hell! What is the Afterlife?” / “The 10 Types of Hell.” pfft Who made these slides? Whoever they are, point to them.

Subs: “You know King Hades, right?” WOW This is bordering on cultural whitewashing if you ask me. This should be King Yeomra (aka King Enma). He’s one of the Ten Kings of the Afterlife, and quite arguably the most famous. 

The sub here says Taluipa is Yeomra’s older sister, which is understandable since the antiquated word Hyeonuiong uses (누이), doesn’t specify older or younger. We find out in the final episode, though, that Taluipa is actually Yeomra’s younger sister. As far as I’m aware, this is not part of the original lore.

Lol Yeon being a drama king: “I’m going to take revenge! Thanks to her, my obligatory military service has already gone on for 600 years~!” (You’re not fooling anyone, sir)

“No way! A man’s hair is his life! My red-brown...” Fun fact: It was actually Lee Dong Wook’s idea to make Yeon’s hair red-brown, both as a nod to him being a fox, and to give him a more otherworldly look. 

Why do the gods keep saying reincarnation is random when everyone we see reincarnated kept their face??

‘Oh my god” lol Watching kdrama characters react in English never gets old. Possibly because there’s something exaggerated or overdramatic in the conscious decision to use English instead of Korean.

A++ response from Yeon. I saw something going around to the effect of, ‘this show really just said love is love,’ and I love that. Point to the writer. 

The BGM here is once again ‘Thread Rings.’ Given where it keeps being used, I’m fairly certain they’re somehow related to Ji Ah/Ah Eum... (So I guess there actually is a reason I’m paying attention to the BGM ;p).  Lee Dong Wook just disclosed the behind the scenes scoop on the rings in his latest VLIVE.

This bulgasari is such a mild-mannered person. Like Shin Joo, he calls Ji Ah ‘PD-nim’ and speaks politely and deferentially. 

Not for anything, but I really liked Jo Bo Ah’s delivery of Ji Ah’s line, ‘I saw a corpse.’ Her little mannerisms really sold Ji Ah to me as a person and not just a character.  

Bulgasari: “That dream, can you sell it to me? I want to play the lottery.” In addition to the concept of symbolism in dreams, Koreans also have a common notion that dreams can be bought and sold. It’s funny, though, when you consider he’s probably just planning to eat the dream. 

I love whenever Taluipa calls Yeon, ‘Yeon-ah.’ She’s normally so prickly that it’s notable when she's affectionate. Also, seeing as Yeon is older than 95% of our characters, there aren’t many who might address him like this with the affectionate diminutive. 

Heh, Yeon refers to Ji Ah’s favor as a ‘civil complaint.’

When Yeon asks Ji Ah for her parent’s times and dates of birth, what he’s actually asking for is their ‘saju’ (literally, ‘four pillars’). You can find my explanation here.

The Snail Bride

Bok Hye Ja: “It’s the first time he’s brought someone (literally ‘a person’).” Normally this would mean, ‘it’s the first time he’s brought a guest,’ but in this case, I’m fairly certain she means, ‘it’s the first time he’s brought a human.’ ;)

“I won’t ask you to understand.” This was another exchange that made me love Ji Ah. I found her frank and sincere apology refreshing.

On a personal note, I loved watching Yeon recalibrate his estimation of Ji Ah in this scene. And it was also a scene in which viewers got to recalibrate their impressions of Yeon. Yeon is feigning indifference, but he makes a point of asking after Ji Ah’s feelings, which is not insignificant. It’s also in sharp contrast to what we’ve seen of Rang so far.

Oh my gosh, THAT PUFFBALL DOG (and it’s name is Bean-ie) XD

Minor detail, but where did Shin Joo get his necklace? Wait. OH MY GOD. Shin Joo is the Aquaman of TotNT. Yeon gets to be Batman and Superman rolled into one and Shin Joo’s power is that he ‘talks to fish animals.’ Dead. 

Lol Ji Ah watching Yeon eat. I feel like this is a running joke. In the tales, gumiho notoriously eat people’s livers, so seeing him eat normal food must be a bit eye-opening. 

The text description for Shin Don was left untranslated in the version we’re watching but it reads: In A History of Goryeo, there’s record of Shin Don, a monk from the time of King Gongmin’s reign (1351-1374 C.E.), having been an old fox.

Subs: “Is it true that the monk of Goryeo Dynasty was a fox?” Us: ‘Yes, the one monk in all of Goryeo and for all of Goryeo. Guess he’d have to have been a fox in that case.’ This should probably have been translated as: "So then, Shin Don...is it a fact that the Goryeo monk Shin Don was a fox?”

Ji Ah: “Oh my god.” heh

Do You Really Want to See It?

Wait, they walked all the way from Insadong to Digital Media City? Okay, this is one of the (few) pitfalls of being fairly familiar with Seoul. Sometimes it’s really obvious when two locations don’t connect and then it pulls me out of the drama. I think we’re supposed to believe that the Snail Bride is in the vicinity of Ji Ah’s broadcast station, seeing as her team are lunchtime regulars, but the the two neighborhoods are nowhere near each other.

Yeon’s line in the subs here is: “A. I’m a busy man. B. We may currently be living in the same world, but there is a big difference between where we come from.” Personally, I would have translated this as: “Firstly, I haven’t got that much free time. Secondly, we may be unavoidably living mingled together, but the world I belong to and the world you belong to are incontrovertibly different.”

Subs: “Those who got a peek at my world ended up going crazy or dying young.” More literally: “In the past, there have been those who got a glimpse of the world’s secrets. Well, most of them either went mad or had their lives cut short.”

Minor detail, but Ji Ah’s response subbed as: “I don’t care. I’ll stay out of your way. Just don’t disappear.” should more literally be: “Just don’t disappear from my sight (lit. ‘from before me’).”

The sub on Ji Ah’s line here reads: “She (Sae Rom) and I both had nightmares.” What she actually says is: “Me and my hubae also had nightmares,” meaning that she (Ji Ah) and Jae Hwan had nightmares in addition to Sae Rom. Which is why Yeon refers to them as ‘contagious’. 

Okay, is it just me, or does LDW look exceptionally unreal in this scene? 

Bulgasari

I’m not familiar with the actor who plays the bulgasari (pretty sure he’s a new face), but he did a great job making his movements uncanny here. The firey CG effects are fun too.

Heck yeah! Yeon sure knows how to make an entrance. Seeing as how he instructed Ji Ah on what to do, I’m pretty sure he was there the whole time......show-off.

Once again, I’m digging the fight scene underscored by ‘The Uninvited.’ I would happily watch an entire series that’s just Yeon and Ji Ah solving supernatural cases and hunting down baddies who disturb the peace. 

The Smirk™ XD  I’m 90% sure this was another LDW ad lib.  

Lol Yeon. Subs: “Really? Then am I the jerk here?” More literally: “Really? Then I guess I’m the only bad guy, huh?” 

On a linguistic note, the bulgasari speaks to Yeon in old-timey speech, once again playing up their mutual identity as creatures of lore. 

It’s only at this point that, prompted by Ji Ah, Yeon finally reveals the bulgasari’s identity. This is accompanied by a brief chyron telling us that they appear when the world is in disorder, and Ji Ah supplies that they eat nightmares. 

To elaborate a bit, bulgasari are one of the better known Korean creatures of lore. There are two different sets of hanja for them: (bulgasari 不可殺伊 ‘can-not-kill’) and (bulgasari 火可殺伊 ‘fire-can-kill’), which explains why, depending on the telling, they’re either un-killable or only die by fire. In traditional lore, feeding them metal makes them grow larger and stronger, which, while not the case in TotNT, is probably what inspired the coin-gobbling. 

Subs: “Yes they are especially fond of broadcasting studios, which are packed with people. Eating metal reveals their true identities.” That subtitle went a bit sideways. It’s not that they like broadcast stations in particular, but crowded places like broadcast stations. So it should read: “They like places with lots of people, like the broadcast station, and if you feed them metal, they reveal their true colors.”

Okay, Yeon’s line that’s subtitled as, “The hostage will answer,” is more literally: “Hey, hostage. Try answering me.” It’s worth noting that, while he calls her ‘injil-bun’ (injil = hostage + bun = the polite word for a person), he’s still speaking to her in banmal, so he’s once again being cheeky. 

It’s taking some license, but I would translate Yeon’s question to Ji Ah here as: “In this moment,* what exactly can you do other than rely on me to save you?” which is essentially what he means. [*Note: literally, ‘at this timing,’ and once again, ‘timing’ is in English.]

We get a series of short scenes lining up some of the side characters who will become our key players on the island: the fisherman find the severed head, Ji Ah grills Detective Baek about the case, and Rang approaches Pyung Hee with his usual devil’s bargain pitch. I didn’t really notice anything here that I think is important enough to the central plot or characters that it’s worth commenting on (especially given how massively long this post is already), so I’m just going to call it good and move right along. ;)

Pfft I definitely wasn’t expecting the bulgasari to be literally chilling in Yeon’s freezer (not that he had a choice). This is somewhat interesting given they’re typically thought to be weak to fire, not ice. 

Subs: “I’ll die even if I tell you where he is.” More literally: “Whether I die in this way [by Yeon’s hand], or that [by Rang’s], it is all the same.” 

Brother Complex

Sub: “Don’t even think of hurting her.” More literally: “Just try touching one hair on her head.”

Oh my gosh Rang’s face ㅠㅠ This was the first time I felt Kim Beom really got to display his acting chops in this role, and boy, was I glad to see it. This was also when I knew Rang was going to make me cry. 

Yeon: “You’re acting like this because you lack affection.” The expression Yeon uses is ‘aejeong gyeolpip,’ which literally does mean ‘affection lack/want/absence,’  but I would have translated it as ‘affection-starved,’ since saying Rang ‘lacks affection’ could also be interpreted to mean Rang is incapable of expressing affection. 

Yeon: “Why’s that?” Lol Lee Dong Wook. Also, this one line is cheekily in polite speech.

Subs: “Just because of a woman you gave up your position as a mountain spirit, left the mountain, and you even...” More literally: “Just because of one mere human woman you gave up your position as a mountain god, turned your back on the mountain, and..!!” 

Yeon: “Yes, I know. I even abandoned you.” Rang-ah~ ㅠㅠ I recently received an ask as to whether or not I believed Yeon had truly abandoned Rang, which I answered here.

Oof, Yeon giving Rang advice as an older brother. In Korea, nagging is seen as a sign of affection. You may recall Ji Ah was very excited for her dad to nag her about her boyfriend in episode 12. 

Sub: “You crazy fool.” Rang literally calls his brother a ‘michin nom,’ ‘michin’ meaning ‘crazy.’ ‘Nom’ is a pronoun that, depending on how it’s used, can mean anything from ‘guy,’ to ‘jerk,’ to ‘bastard.’ 

Sub: “I don’t need to know.” Actually: “There’s no need [for you to tell me].” The two are subtly different. Yeon’s saying he’ll find out on his own, not that he doesn’t want to know.

Fun fact: Kim Beom said in his script reading interview (before they started filming) that he was a bit worried about his onscreen dynamic with Lee Dong Wook because, while Rang has to hate Yeon, LDW is a hyung that KB likes so much in real life. What a cutie. 

We cut briefly over to Ji Ah on the phone with Jae Hwan, asking him to look after Sae Rom while she chases down the skull lead. 

As an aside here, Ji Ah calls Sae Rom, ‘Kim-jak’ (short for ‘jakga,’ meaning ‘writer’). In Korea, it’s common to refer to someone by their role or title. This might indicate distance, but Ji Ah’s shortening it makes the term familiar and speaks of their camaraderie.  In the subtitles, this has become, ‘Ms. Kim,’ which is oddly distant given their frenemyship. 

The Island

Is it just me, or does it feel like there should have been a scene here explaining how and why Yeon came to be on the boat? I’m assuming it got deleted due to time constraints, but I feel like it was needed. 

Pfft The way Ji Ah pops up from behind Yeon, cutting comically into the dramatic shot of Lee Dong Wook’s windswept profile + BGM was great.

In case it wasn’t already apparent, Kimite patches are used to alleviate sea sickness, so this is further undermining the mood of a second ago haha

Yeon’s line is subbed: “I’d like to keep it to myself,” but this should more literally be: ‘Let’s each work individually/play it solo.’ 

Sub: “No, thank you.”  What Yeon actually says: “Hard pass.” hahaha (Literally: ‘I’ll immediately/urgently decline,’ but tonally, ‘hard pass’ is closer). 

The subs have Yeon’s line as: “You need to be careful what you pay attention to.” I would have translated this as: “If that’s the reason [you’ve come], go back. You mustn’t recklessly lend an ear [to such things].” His tone and phrasing are both surprisingly gentle. 

Subs: “My guts keep telling me, that this is a very suspicious combination.” Well, my guts keep telling me, that this is a very suspicious sub haha I would have translated Yeon’s voiceover as:

Yeon: The same boat...the same island...a woman with the same face as that girl. My instincts speak to me relentlessly, telling me there’s something amiss about this combination.

Pfft The contrast between Ji Ah's dismount from the boat and Yeon’s. 

Lol Yeon’s ‘excuse me’ was totally rude 

For the record, from the moment Yeon sets foot on the island, he speaks to everyone in banmal. That’s bad form towards any stranger, but it’s especially rude considering their age. Sure, Yeon’s way older, but they don’t know that. 

Ji Ah mouthing “What?” in English haha

Yeon clocking the effectively creepy villagers. Turns out the right BGM and camerawork can make anything creepy. Point to the director.

Settling in on the Island

Ji Ah’s line subbed as, “I thought you didn’t want to be involved,” should more properly be: “I thought you just said we should each play it solo?”

Yeon’s line is similarly mis-subbed as: “I changed my mind. Don’t let it bother you.” What he actually says is much ruder: “I’ll do what I want! Butt out.” Which explains Ji Ah’s affront heh

Lol Yeon walking right in front of the camera. Anyone who has ever had a pet recognized this moment.

I love how Yeon is being completely tactless and insensitive but then grudgingly course-corrects when Ji Ah glares daggers at him. 

Fisherman (subs): “It gives me a bad feeling in my mouth.” Excuse me, what? haha The line is: “The more I think about it, the more it bothers me.”

Lol Ji Ah: “In the documentaries I watched, they say digging holes is your speciality” (complete with digging gesture).  

Fun fact: Ji Ah blocking the way with her leg and Yeon burrowing under it was something Jo Bo Ah and Lee Dong Wook came up with themselves. Ji Ah’s line was scripted, but I’m nearly positive Yeon’s comeback of, “Burrowing is my speciality,” was an ad lib by Lee Dong Wook. Once again, casting Lee Dong Wook is the gift that keeps on giving. 

WAIT. Subs: “You can’t go.” / “Borrowing is my specialty.” Hahaha What even? Cheon’ho Lee Yeon: professional mooch. 

The way we then cut to Yeon ‘burrowing’ into a freezer of ice cream is just perfect. Point to the director. 

Once again, Yeon is talking to all the village elders in banmal.

“You have a terrible service mentality.” pfft

OH. Ji Ah’s response to the misogynistic fisherman is just A++ 

Her line here is literally: “Oops, I’m afraid I’m overflowing with ‘jeong.’”  ‘Jeong’ (情) can be a little hard to translate. It literally means ‘emotion’ or ‘affection,’ but the way it’s used linguistically can be a bit complex. The sub here was: “I’m afraid I was too generous,” which I actually think is pretty decent. The turn of phrase in Korean though, using the word ‘overflowing’ while over-pouring on the man, made her response doubly witty.

Hah. I love the way Yeon just raises his eyebrows when he comes out of the market and spots her.

Subs: “How dare a witch from outside come here and...” He actually calls her a ‘michin nyeon’ meaning ‘crazy bitch,’ so the line is: “Crazy bitch, where do you think this is that you dare...”

Ji Ah’s line that begins, “If you’re going to hit me...” is just SO great. We stan (1) queen. 

Subs: “Nice. You’re tough.” This is a bit hard to translate. Yeon’s line is literally: “Oh~ What ggang is like this?” ‘Ggang’ can be translated as ‘guts,’ ‘tenacity,’ or ‘persistence.’ Naver dictionary describes it as: ‘a personal trait found in one who never gives in, when put in whatever difficulties,’ which is so spot on for Ji Ah. I might approximate this as: “Woah~ Just how gutsy are you?” 

The way he's just like, ‘I approve. Here, have a shikhye~’ is mildly adorable. Did you buy that for her, Yeon, or were you planning on having two but decided she’d earned one? haha

Ji Ah’s response is equally great. The sub says: “That was nothing.” which isn’t a bad option for a subtitle, but what she literally says is ‘saesam-seureopge’ (새삼스럽게), where ‘saesam’ means ‘now? at this point? after all this time?’ So she’s basically saying, ‘You’re bothering with that observation, over that little stunt, after everything else you’ve seen me do?’ haha

“I plan to mooch off of you as much as possible.” Pfft I love how Yeon actually moves to stand behind her just to underscore the point. That’ll be Lee Dong Wook again. 

Wow, these are some sketchy old people.

Subs: “People aren’t the only ones with eyes and mouths.” What he actually says is, “Are people the only ones with eyes and ears?”

The Forest Spirit

Wow, the lighting in this scene is just A++ Point to the lighting team (or is that just natural? It feels almost too pretty to have just been natural). 

I was too distracted by Lee Dong Wook to notice the first time, but Ji Ah’s face when Yeon shushes her is great haha

On a linguistic note, this scene is one of the few in which Yeon code switches to archaic speech as he’s addressing the tree spirit. It’s the linguistic equivalent of him putting on his ‘mountain god’ hat. (He still speaks to Ji Ah normally, though). 

We cut briefly to the mudang (shamaness), and I’m sorry, I know this is a traditional way of speaking, but it always makes me laugh because it’s so over-the-top.

The spirit addresses Ji Ah as ‘agasshi,’ which would be strange if she was actually a modern young girl, but makes sense for a spirit who’s at least 600. Overall, it helps to remind viewers of her supernatural-ness. 

Yeon telling Ji Ah she did a good job is so cute. I feel like they’re rapidly becoming a quirky tag-team duo and I’m 100% here for it. 

Mudang: “His body returned to shore before his head did! Your father!” This line was explained in the backstory collection.

Okay, the mudang needs to dial it back like 10 levels here. 

Possibly just me, but Yeon swatting the air with his hand as he peers into the cave struck me as vaguely fox-like. 

Minor detail again, but the chyron here is subbed as ‘Jangsansa Cave.’ It’s actually ‘Jangsan sagool,’ not ‘Jangsansa gool.’ ‘Sagool’ is written with the characters 蛇窟 meaning ‘snake hole.’

Lol Yeon freezing mid-motion when Ji Ah tells him to stay put. That is 110% Lee Dong Wook’s sense of humour. Praise the drama gods for Lee Dong Wook - this show wouldn’t have been half as fun without him.

Fun fact: This cave is actually intimately tied to Ah Eum’s past with Imoogi and the story of how she came to be his ‘bride’ (read: sacrifice). I translated the tvN description here. I actually think this was fairly important information, so it’s a shame it wasn’t covered in the drama. 

Sleepover with a Gumiho 

When Ji Ah asks Yeon why he’s insisting on staying at Pyung Hee’s, his response is subbed as: “I have my reasons.” This is more properly: “You don’t need to know.”

Sub: “We don’t eat that crap!” Yeon’s line doesn’t have a subject, but this should properly be: “I don’t eat that crap!” We know from Yeou Nui that some gumiho in this world actually do eat liver. 

“Heard of the Chinese liver fluke?” Ha. Yeon literally says ‘kan distoma,’ i.e. ‘liver distomiasis’ or ‘liver fluke’. While there was a well-known outbreak in China, it isn’t inherently Chinese. There’s a Korean word for it too (간흡충), but once again, Yeon opts for the loan word, adding further humour to the gumiho disavowing liver consumption - for health reasons, no less pffft

The BGM playing as Yeon sees Ah Eum in Ji Ah is once again ‘Parting at the River of Three Crossings.’

Bok Hye Ja’s line to Shin Joo is subbed as: “He went to the island to find this reincarnated girl?” The word she uses is actually ‘gakshi,’ which is an antiquated word generally meaning ‘bride’ (as in ‘the Snail Bride’), but it can also just mean ‘young woman.’

For the record, the Snail Bride speaks to Shin Joo in banmal, who speaks to her in jondaetmal

Shin Joo: “Contrary to how he looks, he’s the devoted type, after all.” Et tu, Shin Joo? 

Shin Joo’s line is subbed: “As if that’s a good thing,” but I would have translated it as: “Romantic, my foot!”

Sub: “At least once in our lives we come across that one person we want to give our lives to.” This should be: ‘risk our lives for.’ 

Sub: “I won’t ever devote myself to love. My goal will be to protect Mr. Lee.” Actually: “I won’t ever risk my life for love. I’m going to protect Lee Yeon-nim!”

“Well that can also be called love, can’t it?” Thank you for this, Show. I know some people think TotNT champions romantic love above all else, but I simply don’t agree. 

When Yeon checks Ji Ah again for his fox bead, the BGM playing is once again ‘Thread Rings’

I love how they did the CG on whatever is happening with Yeon’s powers here. I would have loved to have gotten more of an explanation of the fox bead and its powers (and Yeon’s, for that matter), but alas. 

I love that Yeon tucks Ji Ah in even after re-confirming (or so he thinks) that she isn’t Ah Eum. It was important to me that he came to like and appreciate her for herself before learning that she was, in fact, his lost love. 

Morning on the Island

Ji Ah wakes to find Yeon gone, the blanket tucked around her, and her expression tells us she’s onto him: sure, Yeon can be a grump, but he’s also a complete softie. heh

Yeon is, once again, talking to the elders in banmal. Why do I keep mentioning it? Because no matter how many times I see it it’s still funny.

Okay, Lee Dong Wook has this way of pointing at things with his entire arm that I find ticklish. Yeon ends up coming across like a petulant child. On a cultural note, in Korea, pointing at people like this is considered impolite.

Yeon dangling the ginseng behind Ji Ah as extra incentive pfft Wild ginseng can be massively expensive in Korea (on the order of hundreds of dollars), so this is actually a very effective bribe. 

Also, can we take a moment to appreciate that Yeon woke up before dawn, and, instead of going back to sleep, went into the mountains to hunt for wild ginseng, then set about using it to bribe the elders into answering Ji Ah’s questions for her. Entirely of his own accord. Like I said: softie. 

Side note: Lee Dong Wook’s eyebrows are working overtime in this scene and I’m honestly a little jealous. 

The newspaper Jae Hwan finds at the library is dated August 13, 1954, which Ji Ah immediately recognizes as having been just after the Korean War (if you’ll recall, this is when the forest spirit told them something ominous had come to the island). 

This newspaper is actually really cool. You can see how, in the past, Korean newspapers used a lot of hanja in addition to the phonetic hangeul, similar to modern Japanese. The headline reads, “Headless Corpse, Discovered on Eohwa Island, Investigation Hits Dead End.” (頭 없는 屍身, 漁花島에서 發見, 捜査 迷宮으로). 

Okay, to be honest, this final scene - absent the extra context given in the next episode - made me question Ji Ah’s smarts again. I wondered why she was chasing down the clearly unstable guy just to question him, but it makes sense once you know she meant to warn him his life was in danger. 

As usual, Yeon knows how to make an entrance. Cue ‘Gumiho’ theme. 

Yeon stopping when Ji Ah tells him to never stops being satisfying. 

The BGM playing as we cut over to Rang is ‘The House of Ghosts.’ 

Okay, those shots of Thirsty and Hungry were full-on horror movie and I actually kind of like it? I never watch horror as a genre, but for some reason, I found I missed this spooky element when it dropped out of the later episodes. 

Oh, I like that Yeon went and made her a poultice. Very ex-mountain god of you, sir. 

“Long time no see, Lee Yeon.” Iconic. And creepy. I love the attention to detail Jo Bo Ah displays in the difference between how she acts Ji Ah vs. Imoogi. Imoogi’s voice is higher pitched, and gives off more of a loose-cannon feel compared to Ji Ah, who speaks in a lower, more grounded tone. 

Sub: “It’s me. The person you’ve been waiting for.” Imoogi literally says: “It’s me. That thing you’ve been waiting for.” This is obviously a big clue since normally one wouldn’t refer to oneself in such a way. It also reflects the fact that, unlike Terry-Imoogi, Jimoogi perceives no value in Ji Ah herself. (Yes, I call Ji Ah-Imoogi ‘Jimoogi,’ and sadly, no, I didn’t come up with it). 

Yikes, Jimoogi tracing Yeon’s face was all menace and zero cute. Point to Jo Bo Ah.

Boy, this show really knows how to make an exit.

Blue Mooooooooon!! The guitar (bass?) riff is just so catchy. 

And that concludes Episode 2. Thank you to everyone who commented on the first one. If not for your encouragement, I probably wouldn’t have continued. I also genuinely enjoy hearing from people, so send me your thoughts! This is a weird, unprecedented mashup of a live reaction post, behind the scenes info, and detailed language and culture notes, and I’m still learning how to balance the three. Your feedback is always welcome. 

I’d also like to take a moment to credit my sister, who, in addition to weighing in on a lot of the translations, is also the chief researcher and fact checker for these. I, meanwhile, am in charge of bad jokes and snark. I mentioned before that these take longer than you might expect, but it’s really true. The time we spend watching the episode is actually the least of it, and as much as I enjoy them, they are a huge time suck. 

So. This is what I’m going to do. If you’d like to see more of these, or if you enjoyed this, or if you’ve enjoyed any of the translations or commentary or whatnot I’ve been posting recently, please consider buying me a coffee. If you follow the link, you can buy me a $2 cup of virtual coffee. I’ve never done this before, but I’ve decided to give it a try. It’ll help me to gauge how much interest there is, and, possibly more importantly, it will help me to justify all the time haha. If and when I’ve established there’s enough interest, I’ll proceed with Episode 3. ;)