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Impeccable timing posting this more than a month after Halloween 🙃

A short comic I made in 2022 for a Horror Anthology.

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youre telling me a ham fisted this metaphor??

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Reblog to invite your mutuals to a whalefall feast at the corpse of god.

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Listen I'm aware you all want a piece of this. I understand I'm a hot commodity here on tumblr dot com. But even setting aside wealth and immortality, my husband squeezes the absolute fattest ass you've ever seen through literally billions of chimney flues every December 25th. And every other night of the year, he's with me. And somehow you hoes think you can teach me a trick I haven't seen before? Dream on.

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friendly reminder that you didn’t waste your year. any moments of happiness or comfort, any small accomplishments, they all matter. this has been a really hard year, and simply surviving is something to be proud of. 

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If I had to pick a favorite cryptid, my choice would always be the jackalope. Something about them just speaks to me. Maybe it's just because they're known to imitate human voices, though... The pattern is available for sale on Etsy!

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Me: Yes sir I understand that the office door cannot be closed when two colleagues of opposite gender are alone together due to sexual misconduct concerns but as an openly bisexual employee I have to ask if leaving two colleagues of the same gender entirely unsupervised isn't a double standard

Me: Like. I feel I should also have my ass covered if a same-gender colleague accuses me of shit, you know

Bossman: Nahhhhhhh it's good

The morally grey cathedral goblin that lives on my shoulder and judges the value of my kneejerk impulses: If you grabbed his ass right now he would learn such an important lesson forever but we don't roll like that bro

Me: (out loud) Okay

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This is the money Marge. Reblog for good fortune

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The pattern for the blue crow can be found on Etsy here, and the pattern for the green (originally red) raven is here.

I stitched these two corvids while my partner was off on a business trip. While I love the blue one, I changed the color scheme from red to green and added in the clouds for the other in an attempt to add at least one other color, and I'm not sure if the results are all that great. Maybe I should have stuck with the original colors. Hopefully, their intended recipient still loves them! Let me know in the tags if you still think it looks okay.

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One of the greatest kindnesses you can do for other adults is to add positive surprises to their lives. Think about it: When you're a kid, surprises are things like "Our teacher let us watch a movie today," "someone brought cupcakes for their birthday," "my parents got me a puppy," etc. But when you become an adult, surprises are things like your car breaking down, conflicts at work, and unexpected bills. No one plans fun surprises for adults, and you can do so much for morale if you do. Ex: One time I found a tiny unlocked door in one of my university's buildings. It was empty, but because I'm a whimsical bitch, I decided to put something fun behind it for the next person curious enough to open it. See below: The Egg Gnome.

The eggs were filled with tiny plastic plants (I tried candy first, but mice got into them, and that's not good for health and safety). Just for the hell of it, I decided to announce the hidden gnome and basket of eggs in the big college group chat, offering hints to which building it was in. People went BONKERS for it. It added fun to people's days as they inspected buildings they went into every day but didn't pay much attention to. They asked me for hints, tried to remember what building had those floor tiles, and proudly announced it in the chat when they had found eggs.

I did several things like that where I just hid things around the university and challenged people to find them, and it did so much for student morale. Some people messaged me to tell me my random antics were their only source of real fun on a daily basis. Adults are just big kids. We're supposed to play long into adulthood, and the games are just supposed to scale in complexity with age, but even simple things like a scavenger or prize hunt can make people so much happier. If you have any kind of morale-keeping duties or have the option to take them on at a school, workplace, etc., I highly recommend planning fun surprises for the people around you. Planned events are a lot of fun, but it's a totally different kind of fun to find out there's a scavenger hunt going on on a random Tuesday.

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I love making quilts and blankets, but when I offered one from my stack to a friend, they said that they really only wanted a blue one... so I made this! It started as a spite project but turned into something much better.

The front is made from upholstery samples that I got from a free event aimed at giving away items being sent to landfills. Because of the variety of fabric materials and types, it's a textural wonderland, with each square feeling very different from the ones next to it.

The back is flannel cotton, which is far less interesting.

The moon applique is a completely new technique for me, and one that I'm excited to try again in the future.

I hope my friend likes it. If not, I'll scream! Or at least be really bummed. This thing took a lot of work, and I'm honestly pretty proud of the results.