#Feels nice having my p p back
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You shouldn't have two lovers
It's very complicated kissing two mouths 🎶
#BABY WE'RE ON FIRE 🔥🔥🔥#Nolan posting#Feels nice having my p p back#Oh no we aren't in fire that's a song and not my thoughts#But yea don't have two lovers you guys!
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applied to a bunch of jobs! 😅🙏
#took me three days bc i really wanted my dad's input on my resume and he took a while to get back to me#but i reallyyyy wanted to have applications in my monday morning and now i do :)#also feeling much better aboutbthe whole thing now that i have stuff to be excited about#still really really sad abt leaving the kids at my current job tho#but i drove by some of the places i applied today and researched them and im really optimistic about some of them#i even heard back from one already which i was not expecting at all#she literally emailed me like half an hour after getting my application and started asking me questions#like a pre interview#so thats nice#we went back and forth a couple of times#its not my top top choice but that place isnt officially hiring and might take forever to back back to me#this place is a smaller home daycare type place and urgently hiring but the pay is super good and a home daycare environment might be nice#and the pay is pretty decent esp compared to what im making now#the top top place is a fancy pants private school that going to be way more thorough abt references and background check#so they'll take longer to get back to me#but i found out after applying that my friend's mom works there 🤯#so she's gonna ask her to put in a good word for me :)#but they're not officially hiring according to their website it just says they encourage people to inquire so i did#so p unlikely i would get that one but you never know#anyway!!!!#finally excited abt things and not just filled with dread and sadness abt leaving the current place and kids#still makes me sad but im not on the verge of tears thinking abt it anymore lol#this has been a shitpost
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feel like I've genuinely spent at least a quarter of my day too horny to think. i was going to do some kind of art today but I've been thinking about the boy...
#for like the third day in a row#me: I've gotten so much hotter fr like i'm SO hot now and i was already hot i can't believe this#me when a friend who knew me from before says he thinks I'm hot: buddy what do you MEAN??¿?¿¿ 😵💫😵 really?? 👉🏾👈🏾#i enjoy his friendship and his company ♡ and i don't want to make it weird so i needed to cool off for a couple hours (｡ﾉω＼｡)#i just kinda asked him if he wants anything more of me and what his boundaries are :3c and we can go frm there#i don't like to drive myself crazy wondering and letting a crush build. i nip it in the bud before it consumes me by just asking 😌#this isn't my first crush on him but i did keep the other ones to myself.. he's different 👉🏾👈🏾 but things r p different these days#and it's been a while since we've last seen each other. I've never been more attracted to him than i am now 😵💫😵💫#what happened.. wait no we have been getting closer i suppose. I remember always wanting to know him more in our#friend group back then and i feels rly nice to actually understand him more these days (❁´◡`❁) ♡ to be seen and understood myself.#it's a whole thing lol but basically i split off frm our old group then he kinda got kicked out and the group fell apart#but then we reconnected months later and we're better friends than we've ever been :3 i like him and appreciate him either way ♡#😮💨 having a crush on someone is so exhilarating yet exhausting lmaoo. he's a good boy though i like himmm ʕ ꈍᴥꈍʔ#ougggh... waaaahh.... auhgggghhhhggggg........#i haven't had a crush on someone in a while (｡ﾉω＼｡) I've been blissfully hanging w my bestie but he keeps getting me#god..
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Spirit tracks is fun teehee
#ITS FUN HAVING ZELDA AS A COMPANION OK… title character gets to be playable omg#god. they are everything to me idk why but spirit tracks zelink is my fav by far#It feels more earned I guess? The other zelda games I’ve played p much established zelink as like some unspoken thing#Like uhhh skyward sword gets brought up a lot bc childhood friends. And breath of the wild although I do like botw zelink#But like you get to see their relationship develop in spirit tracks like they go from oh cool we’re teammates to YOU ARE MY BFF#I also like Zelda piping up whenever something happens like. I remember I used to go swimming here do u wanna go swimming when I get#My body back. Also I like being nice to her we are besties your honor#2nd image is my fav expression in windwaker when his magic gauge increase HIS FACE IS EVERYTHING PLEASEEE#I also drew tetra wearing something like baro’t saya? Using her game model and pictures of dresses and the boxer codex#Everything I’m putting on here is experimental anyway cause I’m checking Wikipedia on my own culture 🫡#BUT HELL IT WOULD BE COOL like tetra could have a more rugged baro’t cause like she’s a captain and she needs it when on open sea right#And I can imagine tracks zelda having more of a traje de mestiza dress because it’s more fancy right.. waving my hands#Sometimes Filipino zelda can be something so personal bro#My art#myart#doodles#the legend of zelda#legend of zelda#loz#Spirit tracks#wind waker#took link#Zelink#zelda#Tetra
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obsessed w the tags on ur last reblog
Omgg, thank you haha, it was a quality post so I just had to appreciate it in full force 😂❤️
Can‘t believe someone would actually enjoy my yapping :,D
#guys help is it time for a rebranding?? am I just gonna post about f1 now??#I still can’t believe this has all started because bestie and I were watching Ted Lasso (because I’ve been obsessed with that show for a#while now too) and I paused the episode to talk about how I really like the way Jamie interacts with kids (I’m sorry people being good with#and nice to kids is one of my weaknesses I work with kids now and have been invested in treating kids well forever)#so me saying that apparently reminded her of max and she showed me a video of him with p and yeah it was very effective in making me like#him and then we left the episode on pause and she told me a lot about f1 and max specifically cause I was interested now lmao (funny thing#is that she also got roped into it by our other friends I swear it’s speeding lmao#she also compared him to Jamie from Ted lasso (if you know you know) and showed me some heart wrenching Taylor swift edits (i haven’t#emotionally recovered yet) and yeah that’s how I started consuming way too much f1 content on YouTube and got into this whole mess lmao#oh yeah our friends also made me and another friend make a Tier list for all the drivers based on vibes alone (cause I only knew a bit about#max at that time and the other one knew nothing really) which was very funny too#especially looking back at it (we did some of them so dirty lmao 😂)#I’ve also come to the conclusion that tumblr is still one of the least annoying platforms to engage with other people (still)#YouTube is full of hate comments about drivers and stuff it’s so annoying actually#not to mention Twitter but I don’t go there and probably never will 😂#I personally don’t enjoy fics and scenarios and shipping of real people cause it makes me a bit uncomfy (not judging people who do#you do you as long as it doesn’t negatively affect anyone#but yeah I’d much rather just scroll by those here than have to look away from all the mindless hate and which driver is better discussions#everywhere else like I’m not one to engage with stuff like that but it does upset me to some#degree so yeah tumblr making memes and being rather positive about their drivers (most of what I’ve seen here of course there are gonna be#annoying people everywhere) is much more tolerable and a lot more enjoyable for me#whoops this post got away from me again oh dear#I’ve had the idea for a meme stuck in my head for days now: Max verstappen but make it if you don’t love me at my *swearing on team radio#giving spicy replies and attitude to the media maxplaining and complaining going for risky overtakes* you don’t deserve me at my *precious#interactions with p talking about his cats being a goofball with other drivers and especially danny defending other drivers driving#beautifully in the rain* it’s a package deal you can’t just pick and choose and personally I don’t even get why people complain about some#of the other stuff I appreciate someone who’s passionate and honest and genuinely kind where it matters 🤷🏻♀️#I think I’ve seen someone else say that but the more people complain about and criticize max the more I feel the need to defend him#god forbid women have hobbies for real (can’t believe I’ve yapped so much I can’t put more tags 💀)#also shoutout to Oscar Piastri and Danny Ric (I was so happy Oscar won even tho McLaren where being very silly in a not so funny way)
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can't tell if it's just a good day or if this epiphany/shift in thinking is actually gonna last 🤔
#I have been out in public all day but I'm like. still doing good. I've had a really nice time actually.#I prioritized my comfort re: clothes & other sensory issues and like. decided to (try) to stop caring so much what anyone thinks of me?#and it's working?? wild. granted I think I was already on an upswing w the whole Depression thing but like.#idk. idk idk tmw ur like 'ok I'm probably autistic so I'm gonna just start accommodating myself'#and u suddenly start having a less miserable time lmfjajfkgsh#anyway yeah hi I'm alive I'm feeling p good & I'm?? gonna have a nice new laptop next week????#it's uh. it's been a day lmao (but like in a GOOD way for once ajfkgsg)#I'm vibin. maybe I'll be vibin enough to write once I'm home. maybe I'll just read all night again. who knows??? not me!!!!#but I do think regardless of whether I write tonight or not I'll be back into things v soon 👀#byan is rattling the bars of their kennel again & I've had more energy the last day or two sooooo 🤞#━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ ooc ⋮ don’t @ me.#personal cw
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I hate this looming fear that all my friends hate me just because we haven't talked in like a day or wtv. I'm so annoying :l
#post:vent#everytime i think about my friends hating me or disliking the thought of me i think of that one post-#-where this persons partner responded “thats kinda mean” irt to that person asking/talking abt ppl thinking badly of them behind their back#< something like that icr properly#just thinking “thats mean” whenever i feel like my friends hate me or dont like me and my messages and stuff#that thread changed my mindset but its still so unfathomable for me to think that my friends can have enjoyable thoughts about me-#-when im not around :p..#so as much as i wanna change my mind and say they can have nice thoughts about me. i just. cant. i always go back on myself sjddjjksnd
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The most openly bratty/fussy Alhaitham anyone can ever get is when he is sick, send tweet-
#hc; alhaitham#//He feels so gross & icky; everything & anything gets So overwhelming; he LOATHES getting sick so much#//WILL make it anyone’s problem if they try pushing him for whatever reason; even if he’s the slightest bit sick#//The only person he’d actively try NOT to ‘inconvenience’ is Kaveh#//But that’s bc he’s WELL aware Kaveh would try & make him being sick his business anyways if he found out#//Even if Haitham would rather he not—bc he knows 1) Kav’s got a lot on his plate & 2) Kav WILL get sick in the process#//Kav surprisingly does Not get whiney or anything when sick—rather; mans LOCKS TF IN#//He got so used to being alone and taking care of himself; mans would NOT ask for help until he is practically passing tf out#//And even THEN it’s begging whoever caught him to finish his task for him; not asking to be taken care of. Would be MORTIFIED if sb did#hc; kaveh#//Bc that’s there now jfbfb#//ANYWHO back on subject#//Haitham gets VERY clingy when sick. VERY clingy; VERY dependent and Vulnerable#//Around his trusted people; anyways#//But ye—if you’re friends; chances are he WILL hunt you down first above all when sick; esp if he had to go in for work#//And he WILL need a little help and attention; any and all of it that can be spared#//Or at the very least suggestions to help with the Ick until they are free to help him more#//In my mind's eye; Nahida is his most sought out friend in such times#//He'd curl up in the Sanctuary of Surasthana and nap the day away the Instant he gets inside. Esp bc she’d never turn him away#//She’d be fucken ECSTATIC to have him there; even make him a nice little place to sleep & everything; dim the lights & not let ANYONE in#//Best of all; she can’t get sick (by regular means) so she’s p safe. He wouldn't be as worried abt her catching anything he'd got#//Would dote so much on him; he’s like a baby brother to her#//Everyone in the rescue squad is basically just as well family to her too#//But he’s her favorite#//dendro god’s specialest boi (after Wanderer; ofc)#//Shh; no one tell the others jdhfbf#hc; nahida#//Whoop there’s that too hebfb
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okay. today i will go on a difficult mission. i might not come back (will ask i friend if they want to hang out)
#IN MY DEFENSE ILL SAY THAT SHES A REALLY COOL FRIEND OKAY ?#shes like. so easy to talk to and shes so cool and she is so funny and shes the only person i know irl who is into homestuck!!!#well kinda#and she has had an extremely good impact in my life as in !! idk she has made me more confident? idk how to explain that#THE THING IS. i met her less than a year ago but shes extremely important to me and i love talking to her#and i would love hanging out with her more#SO. today. im gonna tell her that im gonna go watch spiderverse this aaturday and im gonna ask her if she wants to come#i will see her today bc we both go to a club for neurodivergent people#but im not gonna ask her there that would be stupid. also i would feel bad for not inviting the rest of our clubmates (? as well#i already do but hngggn. idk#anyways im gonna ask her later when i come back home it will probably be p late but thats okay#or hm. i usually stay longer than im supposed to stay and she does too i could ask her then but i probably wont :/#WELL WHATEVER.#honestly im p sure i wont actually ask her.. the idea is nice but i dont have enough skills for that i think. oh well we will see#ikna talks#oops sorry for rambling. sorry sjssnsjskl
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...
#ive had much fun booping with yall today :-]#i wish i had the time to boop everyone back#idk y it stands out to me the ppl with strang3r things icons. actually i do kno. its bc one person with an eddie icon booped me a lot of#times lol. but im a lowkey st3ddie shipper and im just sitter here silently like. hm i see yall with steve and eddie icons#and anyone with a terror icon has me twirling my hair bc i just want ppl in that fandom to like me for my obnoxious jammy posts lol#and to my beloved ppl who regularly like my stuff but we aren't mutials for whatever reason 🖤#idk its just been a nice day lol. its nice outside and i was jsut grading all day. the days just seem longer now that its light so late#wish i had time to draw more than scribbles but alas ive got way too much to do this week :-P#ive gotta meet my boss Tomorrow and i havent even looked at the thing i was supposed to work on. and i have to choose a paper by Wednesday#for lab meeting. ugh. whatever. itll be fun. itll be fine. genuinely i feel good in a way that i thought was impossible a year ago#unrelated
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i will say. if there’s one thing that preparing to move to the other side of the planet has taught me it’s that i’m very loved
#saying goodbye has been very hard i feel like it’s going to hit me like a truck once im there and by myself#like obviously i won’t be alone completely but while el is as work i’ll be like … :)#everyone back home will be asleep#i love my family and friends so dearly#and to have so so many people sending me off and wishing me well between family and friends and coworkers and everything.. its nice <3#it’s so lovely but it’s almost breaking my heart how am i meant to survive!!!!#i’m going to miss everyone so much#wow….. last day tomorrow….#p
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good grief i have really gotten myself into a tizzy this evening. guy who post cancelled i can't even put it into words. horse ebooks everything happens to much <- not even big things happening i'm just autism styling (bad) my life today
#who would like to beam the perfect oversized/boxy cotton short sleeved shirt into my consciousness and solve one of my problems <3#things i'm stressed about:#family gathering tomorrow with young kids (high possibility that they'll be sick) and noone masks except me -> I can leave though.#someone borrowing my car aka worrying that i'll get sick if they're sick and i drive it but i don't wanna wear a mask in my car#-> literally just wear a mask it's fine. also i'll probably get it back with time to air it before i drive it#don't have nice things to wear so i don't feel good and it's hard to find anything -> well i'll just have to look. no good fix for this one#just gotta do it.#too late and i've fixated on stuff instead of chilling -> can't wind back time babey you made your bed unforch!#just one of those days where everything feels like so much! and it's all surmountable i just dont want to surmount it. i want it to be nice#in the first place :P ALAS! THE REAL WORLD!#you knowwww it is past 9pm that's 'don't trust how you feel about your life' time for real!!!!
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okay im somehow feeling less #mentallyill today and it's weird . this past week has been an accumulation of awful and annoying stress and while it's probably not all gone today . was a lot better and i didn't feel insanely annoying while talking to my professor which is a really good sign.... i also didn't feel too bad about it afterwards which was reallyyyyyyy relieving
today was really fun though (-: it's become a bi-weekly thing for my classmate / friend (......?) to hang around after class so we can bother my professor at his office ^__^ and i'm reallyyyy super glad. i'm really glad i got over my anxiety of talking to new people because now we talk after class bi-weekly and it's soooo fun and sillay <3 i used to be really closed off when it came to talking to classmates because i didn't think there was a point or more like . it wasn't something i was really looking for because i already had friends so i didn't think it was necessary to expend more effort and anxiety to make new friends which is . hm .
but anyway today was soooo facking funny my professor is so annoying omg I HATE HIMMMMMM omfg i forgot what we were talking about but i basically brought up how i am of the opinion that it's absolutely insane that people cut around mold on their food and still eat it. and i was SOOOOOOO SO SURE THAT HE WOULD BE OF THE SAME OPINION BUT THEN HE PAUSED AND WAS LIKE "okay well . i have a scandalous take" and i was like NO!!!! NO!!!!!!!!! YOU CANT DO THIS TO ME !!!! and we argued about it and my friend was looking it up and he was like "well what did you find convince me" and they listed a BUNCH of shitty symptoms you could get from eating food that had mold on it and i was like "imagine experiencing them all at once" and he was like "oh well i basically experience all of that every morning" AND WE LAUGHED HES SO FUCKING DUMB GDFSGDFGDSF and when he kept trying to justify himself my classmate was like "but the spores....." and i was like "yeah the SPORES (his first name) the SPORES. the spores will get you......" and then i was like "hey you should get red markers for your white board so i can leave ominous messages like that on it before i leave" because one day he suddenly had a BUNCH of purple markers, i think he has like ten..... and there's only one white board in his office lol
AND THEN THATS HOW WE GOT TO THE NEXT PART.... he was like "do you know why i don't have red markers?" and i was like . omg . no way are you colorbind???? and he IS ......... which is so sad..... )': and i was like "wait the school's color is green........ they should have more colorblind awareness, you need to be represented" and he looked at me really seriously and was like "yeah i really do" he's so dumb i love him so bad
#ALSO . i think i'm over my crush on him !?!?! MIRACULOUSLY!?!?!?!#i'm not sure . i know it sounds like i'm not but i think i might be#i dont get the !!!!!!!!!! ?!?!?! emotions anymore when i think about him or talk to him#at least not on the insane scale like i did before#which is so weird because it's only been a few weeks since i last felt that#i feel like it fizzled so fast#esp because i felt all of this p consistently last semes#i think maybe talking to him more and in a more casual way helped it die down ????#but i dont mean that in a bad way . like . it's not like i learned more about him and was like ohhh hes less attractive#if anything he's way way way more endearing and cute and sillay to me#today he finished some sort of drink and threw it in the trash but the bottle hit the side of the trash can and he completely missed#and my friend went to pick it up and toss it#and when it missed i was like “wowwww nice ^__^” and he was like “i meant to do that so (classmate) could get it for me”#andi was like “BE NICE TO YOUR STUDENTS????”#idk it's so weird . i still do feel a biiiiiit self conscious around him but thats just bc he's a guy and a super hot one so#also my classmate and i are trying to (gently) peer pressure him into playing pkmn black / white#he's interested in the story so.... (~:#but yeah . this has been really fun and i look forward to it every week which is so nice esp in comparison to when i would just go home#right after class most semesters#^____^#ss#it's also sosososo nice because this is something i wanted for soooo long like to be able to befriend my teachers / professors and be silla#like never would i have imagined that i'd be able to hang out in a professor's office with a classmate/friend and not be stressed#and to just feel so incredibly relaxed and i get to be myself and have back and forths with my professor#like it's SOOOO FUN
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Hi tumblr, contrary to what it may seem like I am not in fact dead.
Yay me! \o/
I got covid and that was a doozie (do NOT recommend, please for the love of self get your boosters). It took a lot out of me and very much outstayed its unwelcome. I already have the life of a spoonie. I'm all good on the chronic illnesses front, thanks.
When I finally did start to crawl out of that hole, an old ghost I thought long buried came back to haunt me. So that was fun.
I spent the entirety of November watching a train wreck of epic proportions unfold. In real time. Unable to look away. Unable to decide whether to make popcorn, or to go and get more kindling for the fire. (spoiler, I did both)
Admittedly I hyper fixated to the nth degree, and while I didn't quite forget this blog existed, there is only so much one can keep up with in one go.
For now the wreck seems to have settled into a pile of ashes. It remains to be seen if all that's left is a pile of burnt rusted scrap, or if there is any un-life in it yet. Either way no longer my circus and definitely not my monkeys. Although unwise life decisions are being considered in the aftermath. Status of sanity pending.
Either way, after dealing with my neglected to do list glaring at me menacingly, I finally managed to find some energy to wander back here.
In short, TL;DR: didn't die, yay. Got distracted. But I'm back now. For a given value of back, considering tired and the holidays. Have you missed me? Because I sure missed all of you. Yes even you, hellsite (affectionately).
#can one speedrun the emotional arc of a 7 year drama fest they thought they left behind in a month's time?#yes apparently one can#and uncover some unprocessed stuff in the meantime#but overall I think I am the better for it#came out the other end with closure and having done the things I could not back then#hey at least my therapist seems to think I did good :P#and she got paid for an hour of drama time so we're all good#anyway lots of catching up to do here#although I have no way of reading back for the entire month#if you think I missed something important feel free to drop in my inbox :-)#it's nice to be back
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Your Weekly TV Guide
On Monday you can expect:
2:30 PM: Solanaceae
And Tuesday:
2:30 PM: Die Anstalt - Psychiatrie für misshandelte Kuscheltiere
Wednesday:
2:30 PM: Star Control II - Helix
Thursday:
2:30 PM: SCII - Helix (blood warning)
Friday:
2:30 PM: SCII - Helix (blood warning)
Saturday:
2:30 PM: SCII - Helix’s Captain Zelnick ♥
Sunday:
2:30 PM: SCII - Helix
Thanks for tuning in! (Patreon)
#Weekly TV Guide#Another one that is *probably#I have Most of a week queued up to go but Sunday's is still a bit of a question mark#Hopefully it will be SCII! I have more stuff in the works!#Had a Very busy week that allowed No time for any digital art so :P My poor ideas have had to be back-burnered noooo#Tomorrow would normally be my offline day but I'm making a slight exception since Things Posting Funny lol - one of my behind the scenes!#Glad to finally :)#There's actually a lot of Digital Art posting this week despite not having had the chance to work on any for a bit :0#Definitely three maybe four - depends lol#Oh and Thursday's blood warning is For Realsies - red and lots#Friday's is black and white but still <3#Feels like I've been holding onto or working on some of these ForEver!!! Will be nice to have them up ♪#Hopefully this week will be a Touch more chill and also I'll just - draw more lol#Want to! Need ideas and thoughts and feelings Out of me!
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best thing about project sekai thus far has been finally getting expert. just looking at it and not feeling Immediately Overwhelmed is extremely nice and it makes my learning feel tangible. i've FC'd three songs on expert so far (easy ones; reborn, copycat, and goodbye) and i'm just like. wow! i'm doing something!! i'm improving at something!! +500 aspiration +250 influence
#; the citrus speaks#; proseka shenans#i wish i was sorry for being annoying about project sekai#but i've spent months feeling like i am going nowhere#so it's nice to have something to do where i can visualize my progress#and then when my back hurts and i need to not sit up#i either watch more proseka stuff#or i watch eazyspeezy speedrun flashgames :P#an alarming amount of my day has been taken up by proseka actually#but i've been making sure to eat on my breaks and do other things :)#it's just that this is a nice way to make sure my brain isn't consumed by the horrors#; lemon's inane ramblings
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