#Feeling sorry for myself and making it everyone else's problem sorry

[demigod-jack-hearth]

As the original Anon who sent the FIRST ask, I am a male victim of SA, by a woman who has since changed the history by claiming that I SA'd her instead. You calling me a little bitch, multiple times, going into multiple different rp threads to bring it up, and call me a bitch.

I had to leave tumblr for a few weeks.

I was not the second Anon. And even if I were, while I may not have approached in the friendliest way, calling me a bitch for telling you that it's not alright to remove male rape victims

Especially when Circe is a victim of SA, just mot by Odysseus. I agree with some others I've seen. Stop burrying your apology with roleplay, take a few days to think. I'm sorry this is hard on you, but when you use SA as a simple plot line this is what you need to consider.

Look, I don't know whether you really are the first anon like you say you are, but I'm just going to take your word for it and trust you are.

I know I fucked up. I really know that, and I'm sorry that I called you a bitch

I'm not going to try and defend myself.

Like I said in the apology, I know that it isn't enough. I was in a bad place at the time with shitty people, and honestly, I'm still in a bad place (although that might change soon)

Don't take this as me making excuses, because I'm not trying to, and I'm sorry if it seems that way.

But yes, although I was being influenced by shit people, those were still my actions and words that I wrote. There is no excuse for that. There is no excuse for what I did and how I initially handled the situation.

If I could take it all back and start from the beginning, I would. Not because it would prevent backlash, but because it would mean that I would be able to stop myself from making a stupid and idiotic decision

I also know that no matter what I do, no apology will be enough to rectify what I've done. And I know there is no 'forgive and forget' in this situation, and although on one hand I do want forgiveness from people who were affected. I know and completely understand that I don't deserve forgiveness from anyone no matter what I do.

At this point, I've made a formal apology and I've done what I can to rectify what I've done. So there's not much else I can do except receive what I deserve.

Your other point, that I'm "burying my apology in role play" I'm not trying to do that. But for me, roleplay is an escape from my irl life. I'm in a situation where, sometimes, I don't feel that I'm safe from myself.

I know that sounds like another excuse, but it's not, it's just the truth.

I know I need help. I've been told that by several people (friends and people I'm close with) but for me, that's something that's very difficult to receive

Regardless of that. I'm not trying to "bury" the apology. When I began roleplay in early June (I think), it became something that I deeply enjoyed.

However, along with that passion, a problem was created, that I easily became addicted to Tumblr and the roleplaying community. It was not something I did purposely, it just happened.

I've tried several times to try and at least reduce the amount of time that I spend on this app. But every time that I try, I always end up coming back (the most I was able to stop for was 1 day).

I'm completely aware that this is a major issue (and writing it down makes both it and me sound completely pathetic) it's not something I can easily fix, but to start with I'm going to attempt to roleplay less. I'm not sure how successful it'll be, but I'll try

But I never meant to make it seem like I'm trying to hide the apology. Roleplay is just something I can't stop myself from doing.

I'm not going to talk about the other stuff, based on the reason that I've already addressed this in my main apology/explanation, and I don't want to just repeat myself

Because of how this has been worded, I've got the idea that you are someone that I've interacted with before, so I'm just going to tag everyone.

I'm sorry if you didn't want to be tagged

@zariahthewitch @thegroovydaughterofhestia @if-chaos-was-a-boy @the-gods-strange-children @silena-daughterofaphrodite @fabulousdaughterofhecate @weakest-son-of-sun @chaos-pers0nified @neoptolemus-achilles-son @bast-the-best26 @goddess-of-bubblegum @hispanic-child-of-hermes @gaygirldoodles @luck-is-crucial @reyna4ever @vicious-daughter-of-zeus @feral-hermes-child @oopsies-i-did-a-thing @unfortunate-daughter-of-hestia @that-girl-cupid @ariathemortal @love-lightning-forethought @emdabitchass @kaiaalwayswins @champion-of-revenge @i-was-never-sane @clown-energy-skyrocketing @zoe-aura-of-d3ath @itsyourboyezra @lunar-eklipso-r @pink-koi-lovejoy @that-daughter-of-athena @sleepy-as-a-song @smileyalater @gellyhelio @daughter-ofthe-moontitan @demeters-daughter-is-done @the-smart-and-the-dumb-one @trinket-snatcher @southerndaughterofeos @creature-under-ur-bed @burnt-out-bitxhes @cloak-of-ares @heraaaaaaaa @unproblematic-hestia

[fickle-tiction]

I think the way you've grown a little more towards a softer Bruce kind of works as I'm reading your fics as they come out cause it's almost like I'm watching the relationships between him and Clark/Diana grow and him become more comfortable showing his softer side to them?

Feels like story progression and character growth rather than sudden ooc placement?

Idk if that made any sense and I could be reading into this too much 😅 but I still absolutely adore your superbat (/superwonderbat) fics !!!!

Much love fam ❤️

Thank you this means a lot 💓 I don't like posting stuff like that for attention (I post headcanons for attention with no shame tho lol) but I've been feeling like crap about my writing for a while. And that last drabble thing I wrote with the lasso of truth pushed me over the edge. Who is that man? Not Bruce wayne. Just some guy. Blleh.

[chiimeramanticore]

[j-esbian]

i lost the post but i saw someone talking about how some of y’all act like being weird is a choice and like. YEAHHHHHHH.

that’s fine, it might be for you. but i just live like this and don’t know any other way. like yeah i’ve worked customer service, i can do innocuous small talk, but anything beyond that, i don’t understand what i’m missing. and it’s frustrating to see the tonal disconnect especially from people who are like “uwu embrace weirdness!!” where they’re like. dressing quirky and talking about bugs and listening to obscure music and eschewing small talk to ask Deep Questions on the first date and unlearning their tendency to not infodump. and generally have an idea of what Weirdness is supposed to look like. idk man some of us wake up and get out of bed and can’t figure out why the rest of their coworkers chitchat with each other but when they join the conversation it dies.

weirdness is value neutral. let’s stop trying to turn it into a badge because quite frankly, it’s not a choice for everyone. it’s fucking exhausting to never be on the same wavelength as other people and they’re going to react the way they do and label you the way they will without any conscious actions on your end. it’s difficult to talk about this without feeling like you’ll be dismissed as immature, a teenager whining “no one understands me” but the thing is. sometimes you don’t grow out of feeling alone and different, and there’s no good way to talk about it without feeling like people will think you’re just fishing for pity.

[cerealmonster15]

IM GOING TO TALK ABOUT ALHAITHAM AND KAVEH AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!

i love this fuckin argument kaveh and alhaitham have on the port ormos bulletin board

it's one of those instances where kaveh and alhaitham are arguing and alhaitham is saying that like, while he disagrees with kaveh lol, he also doesnt deny theres truth to what kaveh says.

but i also think it's funny how alhaitham is like "end of conversation. ALSO-" like bitch you kept going IMMEDIATELY fkjsjfklds and then that stupid bit where theyre like "he said this" "he did not fucking say that" "he did" "no he didnt fuck you" "he did give me a month ill prove it!!!!" THEYRE FIGHTING LIKE CHILDREN ON A PUBLIC MESSAGE BOARD😭😭😭

also i have this one bit stuck forever in my mind from kavehs hang out

[video source i screenshot from]

MAYBE im reading into it way too much bc i have terminal haikaveh brain. maybe. BUT!!!! art is subjective i can do what i want :^) anyway i think a lot about this part because TO ME it sounds like kaveh keeps assuming the worst from alhaitham - makes sense, they argue all the time and they def have a turbulent relationship. HOWEVER!!!!! while alhaitham does like poking fun at kaveh and gets annoyed with him dskjfdsklf i FEEL LIKE theres an implication that he like, does not enjoy seeing kaveh suffer the way kaveh just assumes he does.

like here, kaveh is like oh, youre not hoping to see me make a fool of myself are you >:(?? just bc alhaitham was like. in a location unexpectedly. lol. and then alhaithams phrasing is just so specific where he like, doesnt say yes but doesnt say no either lol. hes like "oh so you think i get joy from seeing you in pain day in and day out? well if that were true id be entertained always because youre always in distress"

but like. I DUNNO MAYBE IM BEING STUPID BUT JKSDLFJDKL to ME it felt like he was deflecting the question. to be fair it was a silly question so maybe alhaitham didnt think it worth answering lololol but like "are you here to watch me struggle" "why do you assume i enjoy you struggling" is the vibe i get. but then with bullying also bc alhaitham is still poking at him and his distresses lol jdkslfdskl

and then like the moment the traveler is about to be like "kavehs feeling sad" and kaveh tries to deflect it, i personally think alhaitham managed to come up with a distraction to get kaveh to walk away for a minute so he could hear about kavehs troubles bc hes IMMEDIATELY LIKE

ok now that hes gone tell me about kaveh and his issues. and then goes on to explain kaveh and his behavior

and there are SEVERAL INSTANCES i mean this is an obvious thing lol but like, many such cases where kaveh and alhaitham will be like "yeah this guy is incredibly smart but his personality is fucking unbearable" i just enjoy that as much as they rag on each other theyre still like "no he is a genius though im not gonna deny that" AND ALSO [help]

alhaitham says stuff like this a few times, i think hes got a teapot line or so where he says similar things 🤔 but hes like "yeah people go about their lives doing different things and thats fine everyone should stay in their lane as long as theyre not disrupting the lives of others" AND YET!!!!!!!!!!!! he and kaveh endlessly fight with each other on how they go about their lives. trying to get the other to see their way of thinking even though i think they both acknowledge [or it says somewhere in the lore that they do] that it is a losing battle bc theyre both really set in how they see things and their methods of doing things. I JUST FIND IT REALLY INTERESTING that alhaitham is like, "mind your business and ill mind my business what ever bye" but when it comes to kaveh hes like. no actually i have to debate you. the way you feel isnt wrong however your actions make your life really hard for yourself and you could be living better if you changed" like he cannot stay in his lane when kaveh is involved!!!!! and like the whole reason he's even IN the parade of providence event at all was bc he was pursuing a thread of research that he figured out was connected to kavehs dad and his disappearance!!! mister "i dont want to get involved if it doesnt disrupt my life" got involved to give his boy some closure on the haunting of his dead father!!!!!!!!!! I am going to explode now goodbye!!!!

[atomiclace]

who knew that some agere people would be the worst type of people to exist (talking about you spinny)

[gurenkurosen]

ohh i think im coming to a bit of a realization actually as to why mmos are so scary when im forced to party

[deviousdiesel]

.

[our-lady-of-mcr]

everytime i think im done ranting i remember something else LMFAO this one is extra long i hit tag limit god mf damn

[todayisafridaynight]

lit cannot stress how much fuckability masato lost after becoming aoki like emo death is real and its so so tragic

[carladuquette]

bulimia- don't do it kids. obviously for a host of reasons, but rn i just wanted to say it fucks up your teeth. mine have always been genetically shitty, but the ed hasn't helped. because i have so many negative associations, i'm scared of dentist visits and always get worked up beforehand. today the numbing injection hurt, they told my i need to come back next week for more cavity fixing (that one will be complicated because it's right next to one of my root canals) and... yeah. not a good time. at least my dentist's new practice has a really nice bathroom. if i'm spending 5min crying sitting on a toilet lid, it's cool when the room at least smells nice and has calming lighting.

and listen, i know. i know it's not a conscious decision or a rational choice, hurting yourself like this. i just wanted to be real about the consequences. maybe the thought of having to see your dentist more often, always having cavities, needing multiple root canals, having your enamel literally disappear in places is enough to help at least one person not to go down this route. trust me when i say it sucks.

[jvzebel-x]

🦋

[doctor-wombat]

.

[whimsyprinx]

hello new followers

[bfpierce]

.

[snekdood]

ppl who make false allegations are the literal bottom feeders of this planet. you're so addicted and hungry for attention and coddling that you'll do anything to get it even if that means smearing someones name and ruining their career, just so you can hear from that persons former fans about how you're 'just a weak little innocent babu who can never do any wrong 🥺' grow the fuck up and develop an actual talent if you want attention so bad. or, better yet, go to fucking therapy and figure out why you need this attention so bad. you make it harder for actual victims to be taken seriously when you do this shit, but ofc you dont care anyways bc its all about you and you getting attention. literally if you're gonna die w/o attention like tinkerbell then maybe you fucking should if you're willing to go to these lengths to get it. fuck.