#Family is more distracting than ADHD

[thetreetopinn]

My ADD Medication Journey - Mar 15, 16 & 17, 2024

Oops... got distracted by other things (visiting the parents over the weekend). Forgot to make an entry here.

Friday, March 15th

Slept a little better then the previous night. I'd guess I managed somewhere between 4 and 6 hours. Not quite enough for my liking but it was sufficient to get me through the day.

I had taken a sleep aid--some over the counter antihistamines repackaged and rebranded as a sleep aid--and put on some soothing stuff to listen to while I lay in bed. It seemed to do the trick. I hope I don't have to keep taking the antihistamines every night I've taken my ADD medication.

Woke up feeling tired, but I'm used to that. Took my medication as soon as I was able to get something to drink--around 8:30am.

Work wasn't terrible, not as productive as I might have liked, but I did get enough done to still feel accomplished. The workload has eased down substantially now that A) we've kind of streamlined the process a bit and B) the backlog is effectively gone.

There's still some older stuff sitting there waiting for me to tackle it, but it's not super critical, and I've got other matters to address.

Tremors weren't as bad as the previous day, but still enough to notice.

I was able to focus enough on the things that mattered such that the most important things got taken care of.

I left to go see my parents immediately after work. For a not small stretch of the night, mom sat with me to go over my taxes so that we could both be reasonably sure I hadn't missed anything. I'm not super fond of the tax preparation services, and my state doesn't offer a proper free-filing method... because... well... fuck this state.

I got notice that I've been approved for my new apartment, and had to deal with some paperwork with that. More will be coming soon.

Went to bed later than I would have liked, but such is life.

Saturday, March 16th

Had trouble sleeping, but I got something like 5 or 6 hours of sleep I think. I always have trouble sleeping in a new bed, even if it's one I've slept in before, just not in a while.

Not taking my medication on the weekend so that I can guarantee a good night's sleep.

Got up early enough to eat breakfast with dad at a local place. Came back in time for him to go with others to go see a movie while mom and I babysat. That kid has waaay too much energy for me to keep up with.

Energy level was markedly lower than the last couple of days, but not low enough to make me need to nap as hard as I had during the weekends while on the previous run of medication.

Ended up napping anyway, but not for very long.

Finally came back home later than I would have liked but oh well. It didn't take long for me to start feeling drowsy enough to want to crawl into bed. Fell asleep fairly quickly.

Sunday, March 17th

Slept pretty well. Got more than 8 hours, which helped with the sleep debt from the week.

Took the day pretty slow and lazy, didn't have a lot I needed to get done, but of the things I should liked to tackle, I only got some of it done--such is life with ADHD and you don't take your meds.

I ended up feeling pretty tired at about 1 or 2 in the afternoon, to the point where I fell asleep in my computer chair for a little while.

I don't know if it's specifically the sleep debt thing because of the medication, or if it's also a function of just getting older.

Feeling a normal amount of tired as I'm looking at going to bed here in just a minute. Hoping to have a normal night's sleep.

[audliminal]

Every now and again I start wonder if I'm really all wrong and I actually do have ADHD.... And then I play a video game with one of my ADHD friends and thirty minutes later I have never been more convinced that I don't have it

[vandijkwrites]

sorry if you've already answered this 700 times, in which case totally feel free to ignore. but how do you lengthen your attention span? is it as simple as watching/reading progressively longer things?

First of, I am by no means an expert, but I'm happy to help as much as I can! There are a lot of great articles, books, and podcasts on the topic if you want any further info.

The most important thing to realize is why are attention spans are getting worse:

Information overload and distractions make it difficult to focus. (Ex. social media and text notification going off while you are doing other tasks)

Intentional multitasking gets your brain used to doing more than one thing at once so it becomes very difficult to make it do only one thing (Ex. having the tv on in the background while doing other tasks)

Consuming a lot of media focused on having minimal downtime and immediate gratification decreases our patience and ability to do slower tasks (Ex. watching a lot of action packed movies and short TikToks)

Getting constant small hits of dopamine from social media decreases our ability to do tasks that don't give us dopamine hits (Ex. getting likes from a post or messages from friends)

The solutions to most of these come down to two things: (1) Do only one thing at a time (2) Limit distractions from that task (3) Reduce immediate gratification

So some example of ways to do that would be:

Read a book without your phone being on hand to distract you.

Watch TV without multitasking.

Reduce time on social media, especially social media focused on short videos.

Spend a day or part of a day without technology.

Spend time with friends without looking at your phone.

Watch slow-form content like unedited lecture or panel videos where people are just speaking at their normal pace without cutting pauses.

Listen to music albums all the way through instead of shuffling and skipping.

Eat meals without multitasking (ie mindful eating)

Make yourself a cup of tea and sit on a park bench or by the window and watch some birds.

People-watch at the coffee shop.

Write long emails or letters to friends and family instead of short texts.

Call and have a conversation with a loved one without multitasking.

Meditate.

Take a walk and enjoy nature.

Don't scroll through your phone while waiting in a line.

Read long posts when you come across them on your dashboard.

Have an ebook on your phone to read whenever you would normally scroll through social media.

Don't go on your phone/online for a certain amount of time before bed.

If you are having trouble doing these things, try to do one tasks but increase the stimuli of that task. For example, read a book while listening to the audiobook at the same time. Or listen to music while watching a lyric video. These are great baby steps!

Another great baby step is (like you said in your question) doing things for progressively longer amounts of time! Set a timer for a certain number of minutes and then read without distraction for that amount of time. That way it won't feel like it is never ending and you can track your progress.

Obviously not all of these will be for everyone and some of these are too hard for people with ADHD or serious attention issues, but they are a good place to start!

I hope that helps 💕

[thedivinetarot]

Talk to me in songs and poems

10 facts and more about your fs

☆ How to chose the perfect pile for you?

- Close your eyes and take a deep breathe. Ask the question I your head, open your eyes and the picture that you can't look away from is your pile.

☆ Note:

- This is a general reading, use your own discernment when judging the accuracy.

- This is a short mini reading. I may do an extended one or pt. 2 later.

- This is a future spouse reading which means that it is not applicable for crushes or someone you are briefly dating and if you want to do it on your long term partner feel free but I don't guarantee that it will be 100% accurate.

- Can be applied on a future lover too.

Pile 1 - The corpse bride

1. This person is very active. He could move a lot, work out a lot, or he could be an athlete. I see a constant movement from this person. Also he could walk fast, faster than normal.

2. This person get overwhelmed so quickly and the funny part is they cannot focus on more than one task and get distracted easily. He gives me an ADHD vibe. So, they may have ADHD.

3. This person is indecisive, it take them forever to make a decision which can be good or bad because they overthink everything. And because they see the good and bad in every option.

4. Your person is unbalanced when it comes to giving and receiving affection/ emotions/ gifts/ and other stuff. They either give too much or doesn't give at all.

5. They are tall and scary. They might have anger issues or get angry very easily. I see that this person is a catalyst of change or they might have changed a lot physically or mentally throughout their life.

6. This person is very emotional honestly, I see someone who is kind, sweet and caring towards others but they doesn't know how to show it in a balanced way.

7. This person have a big family or he came from a very strong/ rich or wealthy family. I see also that their family are very respected from people in the country they live in.

8. They are very successful but they kinda show it off and brag about their success in arrogant way. They could be arrogant too.

9. This person is pessimistic. They doesn't know how to be optimistic at all. It is like they have a different point of view than the people around them and because they overthink it, they doesn't feel good about it. There's a lot of emphasis on "what ifs" in their mind.

10. This person is family oriented. They are the perfect husband/wife material. They dream of having a family on their own and they are so excited about it.

Bonus: they lives far away from you and they travel to work or to their home. Could be in travel (from state to state) or out travel (from country to country).

Pile 2 - Blue moon

1. Lives near you. Or in the same state. Could be your neighbor too. I see that he tried to travel for work but it didn't last at all and he got homesick and returned.

2. Very diplomatic and 'demure'. He doesn't like conflicts and always try to avoid them.

3. Is very emotional. Idk why I keep picturing a blonde, white, and an overweight man in my mind eye. This person is cute or look cute and cuddly too.

4. They are very nurturing, if they are identified as masculine; he doesn't feel ashamed of taking care of others. And if they are identified as feminine; then they are very in their feminine energy.

5. This person is intuitive too, I'm picking up on the mbti INFP, ISFP, INFJ, ENFJ, ENFP, ISFJ too.

6. This person is very spiritual, I'm sensing major pisces placements. This person could be a wizard or a witch. They could read tarot and practice divination too. If not then they may be interested in those things (even if they are not a practioners of it).

7. This person have a very interesting point of view. I see that they see things from a different angle which cause others to misunderstand them and their intentions.

8. Despite this person's sweet personality or look. They have a dark side that they keep to themselves. I see that they might have been a drug addict, alcohol addict or other some type of addiction that I couldn't put my finger on. Could even be sex? Or masturbation? Maybe.

9. This person is very vital, they could blush quickly or their face get red easily. I see also that their voice can be rough and loud in an annoying way.

10. This person is active too like pile one. They may walk fast, talk fast or work out to keep fit even if they are obese or overweight.

Bonus: They were dating someone but they broke up with them. This incident was close in time like 2 to 4 months ago. I'm not seeing something deep at all. Could be a fling or a hookup.

Pile 3 - Blue butterfly

1. This person is an extrovert. I see someone who party a lot but from time to time this gives them anxiety so they isolate themselves from time to time.

2. This person is a huge believer in twin flame, they might be manifesting their twin into their life.

3. This person is spiritual too. I see that they are into psychology, inner child healing.

4. This person could mirror you a lot. Could be good or bad, so if you want them in your life you need to be better yourself in order for this to last.

5. Your future spouse is you twin flame, this came again while I'm channeling the facts about them.

6. They are very childish and innocent. And if not they can impulsive and carefree of the consequences of their own actions.

7. They are really a hard worker. Could be a workaholic too. I see that they are working on their finances so when they meet you they can wife you up.

8. This person is a busy bee. They are constantly working and juggling things. Could be a great multi-tasker too.

9. Their family traditions are very important to them. And they get very defensive when someone point out anything wrong with their family traditions.

10. This person is defensive. And also argumentative. They only want to prove that their opinion is the only right one.

Bonus: They are on their healing journey towards you. I see that also they can be a slow/smooth talker or walker. I see also that they do not hesitate to walk away when things are not working the way they want. They abandon their projects easily too. They could breathe loudly, or make a loud voice when they inhale.

Pile 4 - White swan

1. This person is an atheist. Or if not they might not have a religion or not into spirituality or doesn't believe in that "crab".

2. They are that one hot sexy fucker that fuck around with no commitment. And if not then they used to be like that before meeting you.

3. This person is very blunt, harsh with words and even abusive, be careful of their rage. They have a nasty energy. I smell something not pleasant at all. They could be clueless about hygiene.

4. This person is broke. Financial and in other areas in their life. They could also use their attractiveness to their advantages to use women's money. Again be careful, you don't have to keep up with that.

5. This person got disappointed and if not so they disappointed a lot of people in their life. Especially their family. I feel like when you get to know them, they will complain a lot about how unsupported they are.

6. I see that they always daydream about being successful, independent, and the boss but they do nothing about it honestly. Like there is no serious steps to be like that.

7. They have daddy issues, even if they are a male. Their father; might have left them which caused them to be heartbroken.

8. This person is a player. I see that they use people around them to their advantage.

9. I see also that at some point they learned from their past mistakes. They want to be a better person. I see that they might travel to another country to work on themselves.

10. This person when you meet them they will be in a better place. The previous facts might be from their past and they feel so ashamed of what they have done.

Bonus: He could be in a poly relationship or like poly relationships, or they date two or three people at the same time. Major womanizer vibe. Even if they change; they still are attracted to the opposite sex like crazy.

29th of sep/2024- Sun

* Feedback is appreciated

[csuitebitches]

book review: Stolen focus by Johann Hari

Major learnings from this book. It basically talks about focus, why and how we’re losing it. Why can’t we pay attention anymore? Are we individuals to blame or our systems? 

There will be a time when the upper class will be extremely aware of the risks to their attention (caused by tech, social media, our current generation) and the masses, with fewer resources to resist the temptation of technology, will be manipulated more and more by their computers. 

Multitasking is a myth. What actually happens when we multitask is that we “juggle” between tasks. This results in incomplete tasks, higher error rates, less focus, less creativity and memory decreases. 

Sleep is extremely important, especially sleeping according to nature - when the sun sets and sun rises. If the whole world slept the way we are naturally programmed, we would have an economic earthquake. Our economic systems run on sleep deprived people. 

Reading online and reading print has a huge difference. Reading online creates tendencies of skimming and scanning text. This prevents our brain from focusing intently on one story at a time, which print allows you to do. You also remember and understand things from printed texts better. 

Empathy. Certain research suggests that reading fiction and novels improves empathy, because you are immersing yourself in another character’s life for a while. Empathy has played a huge role in human advancements. If a group of white people did not realise that colonisation was wrong, if men did not realise that women deserve equal rights, we would not have independent nations nor be close to gender equality today. 

There are multiple types of paying attention. Focused attention is one thing. But day dreaming and letting your mind wander with no distraction (that is, being alone with your thoughts) is equally important. Some of the most important breakthroughs in human history were because the inventors were not actively focusing on solving the problem. 

Being on social media = giving a free pass to be manipulated. No thoughts, opinions, desires that you have are original. They have all been fed into you by social media and the online world. It is by their design that we cannot focus. 

Leaked internal records of Facebook show that they are aware that their algorithms exploit the human brain’s attraction to divisiveness. 64% of people, for instance, who join extremist groups join because FB’s algorithm directly recommends too. “Our recommendation systems grow the problem.” Zuckerberg eventually terminated the unit that was studying this. 

Diet and attention. The diet we consumed today is a diet that causes regular energy spikes and energy crashes. Our food does not have the nutrients we need for our brains to function well. Our current diets actively contain chemicals that seem to act on our brains almost like drugs.  

Be careful about reading research, especially when it’s funded by the industry itself. For 40 years, the lead industry funded all the scientific research into whether it was safe, and assured the world that it was. Lead later turned out to severely stunt your ability to focus and pay attention and that you are more likely to get ADHD. 

We define success broadly as economic growth. Economies should get bigger, companies should get bigger. Growth can happen in two ways - either the companies find new markets or they persuade the existing consumers to consume more. If you can get people to eat more or to sleep less, you’ve found the source of economic growth. It results in people working overtime, not having enough time with family, friends and themselves, stress and anxiety prone, lack of sleep and bad health, etc. 

Conclusion: use precommitment to stop switching tasks, try to focus more on intrinsic motivation than extrinsic, go off social media periodically (say 1 month at a time) and then extend those breaks; everyday spend 1 hour in walking in silence (no music, conversations or people- and if this is in nature, even better) to connect with yourself, 8 hours of sleep every night, build on slow practices like yoga, cut out processed food, take your PTO!!

[phoenixyfriend]

Remember my post about Anakin pulling a Mike Murdock? Yeah, no, I have a full on AU concept now (with contributions by @threebea! indented)!

He lies so hard about having a brother that the universe invents a twin from scratch for him. It happens when Anakin is like twelve.

Anakin was just committing to the bit on a mission because he was bored.

The Force was also bored.

Oh no Anakin force manifests a sibling Obi-Wan: …That's not how the Force works. Anakin: You tell the Force that. Obi-Wan: Well, I suppose this would be your half-brother since the Force is your shared parent. Obi-Wan after the initial shock: This might as well happen.

New brother is better at some things and worse at others, as any person is. Anakin is, naturally, a fucking mess about all that, worries he'll be replaced, etc.

Obi-Wan just brings this to the Council and nobody can DENY this Skywalker from the Jedi after they already took the first one. So. Mace volunteers.

This Skywalker is a bit more Force than Anakin, got glowing eyes and visions and the Animal Communion buff. But is worse at flying, worse at tech, and unfathomably worse at people. Which is a FEAT, since Anakin's not too hot at social skills in the first place.

Mace has his hands full in many ways, including "keep this child from walking face first into the wall."

Obi-Wan: We are not calling him Anagain.

Anakin had many mixed feelings but! If he's going to have family then he's going to commit!

The other option is that the brother is younger by enough that the Older Brother instincts kick in, but I think the one-sided twin rivalry is funnier.

Anakin: I'm a big brother now. Anagain: I think we're supposed to be twins. Anakin: I have more worldly experience. Anagain: I'm taller. Anakin: wut Anagain: alpha twin alpha twin (that's his nickname until you come up with actual name lol) Obi-Wan: Well, I'm taller than both of you, and while that is the case you both need to listen to me. Anagain: (flash of foresight) So, not for long Obi-Wan: What? Anagain: Nothing. Mace: (the Shatterpoints are blinding) Yeah, I'll be taking this one. More seriously tho, Anakin definitely torn between what if everyone likes him better he's born from the force what if he's the chosen one what if and also: I have a brother I have family I need to take care of him. Probably some fun twin force bond too. Oh man Sheev after digesting all of that would definitely try to get some jealousy going.

Anakin talks about the new brother with terms like Freshly Hatched and Innocent Baby and it's mostly a joke except that now HE thinks Palps is a creep when it's aimed at Not Him.

Palpatine: When do I get to meet him? Anakin: [absolutely not] Mace won't let him [Yeah that'll work] Mace: Yeah, absolutely not, he didn't help save Naboo there's no reason for my Padawan to have a relationship with the Supreme Chancellor

I've decided to call the brother Aion (EY-yon). I like the whole thing about Anakin's name being based on Ananke, even if it's a disputed thing, so I go for Greek myth when doing alt names for siblings.

Mace still bitter about having to let Palps get time with Anakin not about to do the same if he can help it. Although that comic takes place later eh (handwaves) still The Jedi might try to be hush hush about where aion came from anyway since he would fall directly under Jedi business

Help I'm imagining Mace and Obi-Wan on a walk and the twins are on child leashes. Anakin because ADHD will have him trying to run off to look at something. And Aion because he's going to be so distracted by visions that he will walk into traffic.

"Can we send a letter to mom so she knows he exists?" The other thought was ANAKIN holding the child leash for Aion, and then Obi-Wan or Mace holding the one for Anakin. Lil chain.

Aion: Hey… I know I've only existed for a few months, and yes my memories of before are sort of built by the Force, but I'm pretty sure the Supreme Chancellor is evil. Mace: You saw that in a vision? Aion: No, he's just super creepy. Bad vibes.

Obi-Wan: Of course he's evil, he's a career politician. Anakin: What about your friend from Alderaan? Obi-Wan: That's different.

One of these boys is constantly zoning out. The other is smiling, but the smile contains murder.

They're both adhd but with wildly different sides of it.

EXACTLY

Also.

Aion: [silent, a bit upset but mostly chill] Anakin, holding his hand: He asked for no pickles!

[incorrectbatfam]

The batfam as teacher comment section in report card.

Dick: Mr. Grayson brings a contagious energy to the class and his enthusiasm is well-appreciated. However, he tends to channel that energy very physically and while that may benefit his learning, it's a disruption to other students. This is a frequently recurring issue that I would like to discuss with a parent or guardian.

Translation – Is this kid ADHD because he won't sit the FUCK down

Jason: Mr. Todd has displayed remarkable attention to detail and a love of literature that I can only attribute to positive reinforcement at home, and he's always a pleasure to have in class. As much as I appreciate seeing him apply his lessons outside of school hours, I believe there are more productive avenues of discussing Shakespearean playwriting with his peers than what he has been reportedly doing. 

Translation – Stop biting your thumb at people

Tim: Mr. Drake continues to exceed expectations in his schoolwork, but his attendance and participation may become a detriment to his overall grades if unaddressed. I have caught him sleeping in class on multiple occasions but he has yet to provide me a reason why he is so tired. Additionally, last month one of our monitors caught him loitering in the bathroom with a note that I did not recall writing. 

Translation – Get some sleep and also you can't make your own hall passes

Damian: I have had the privilege of teaching the Wayne family through my decades at this institution and I believe that Damian takes after his father the most in more ways than expected. His grades are stellar and he is well-organized, but I'm noticing familiar and concerning traits in his attitude and social interactions. I am requesting a meeting with his parent to understand the full context so I can devise a plan for out how to best support him. 

Translation – Forget falling, the apple is still on the damn tree

Duke: Mr. Thomas has been a pleasure to have in my chemistry lab and is always willing to help classmates who are struggling. However, after last week's minor combustion reaction mishap, I think it would be worthwhile to review the lab safety packet that all students received at the beginning of the year. 

Translation – How did you set water on fire

Cullen: Mr. Row displays a passion for transformative literature and demonstrates a clear understanding of modern media culture that has helped him synthesize a lot of our complex readings. However, I'm concerned about his laptop being a distraction, especially with numerous incidences of him looking at non-academic material.  

Translation – Quit reading fanfics in class

Stephanie: You should be pleased to know that Miss Brown consistently keeps the well-being of her peers in mind. This semester, she launched a meal initiative for students whose needs could not be met by the school cafeteria. While we value her good intentions, she has been causing hallway obstructions and there are some regulatory concerns that we need to discuss. 

Translation – She sold pancakes in the halls without a permit

Cassandra: Although Miss Cain is relatively quiet in class, she continues to blow me away with her breadth of knowledge not just on class materials, but also interpersonal details. While this is a good skill to cultivate, we ask that she dial it back especially with our faculty. Additionally, please remember that the teacher's lounge is a staff-only space and students should remain in the common areas. 

Translation – She knows too much

Barbara: Miss Gordon is easily one of the best AP Computer Science students I've seen in my twenty years of teaching. She even went above and beyond the scope of our class to apply what we've learned to a greater school context. While that is deserving of credit, I'd also like to remind her that, in the future, certain ideas should be subjected to careful consideration before actions are taken. 

Translation – She hacked the lunch menu to make every day French Fry Friday 

Harper: Miss Row has a remarkable aptitude for the engineering process that exceeds beyond what students her age can typically grasp, and she is very inventive in her own right. That being said, I would appreciate it if she followed our lesson plans more closely and reviewed our guidelines for woodshop safety so everyone can continue to have a positive experience.

Translation – She made a working crossbow out of popsicle sticks

Carrie: Miss Kelley is a bright student who brings positive energy that is very much needed, especially in morning classes. However, she's been falling behind with several missing assignments at this point, and her explanations for why she cannot finish her work don't seem to be sufficient. 

Translation – "Killer Croc ate my homework" Yeah and I'm Batman

Kate: Miss Kane seems to be very eager to move forward to the next stage of her life, as evidenced by her Career Day presentation. While I believe young people should be free to explore their passions, I also think that Kate would benefit from some workshops outlining more feasible options. 

Translation – "Get bitches" isn't a career goal

Alfred: Mr. Pennyworth is easily one of the best students this institution has seen, both in his academic record and extracurricular activities. He recently expressed interest in the sharpshooting team, which I will not discourage him from, seeing how highly accurate he is. As of this year, I will be retiring as the coach for the team, but I wish him all the best.

Translation – I'm not about to get on his bad side

Selina: Miss Kyle's resourcefulness continues to astound me. Earlier in the semester, she forgot her locker combination and quickly improvised a mechanism to safely unlock it using only the materials around her. The speed and accuracy with which she did that will surely benefit her in the future. 

Translation – Did... did she just pick a lock with another lock?

Bruce: No further comments. 

Translation – whatthefuckwhatthefuckwhatthefuck—

[fandoms-x-reader]

Teenage!MC with ADHD

@ivediedmorethan20times

Headcannons

Summary: The brothers and side characters reaction to a teenage MC who had ADHD. The Demon Brothers and Diavolo, Barbatos, Simeon, and Solomon. Platonic/Sibling Relationship A/N: Please forgive me if this isn't completely accurate. I don't personally know anyone with ADHD and I know there are different types but I did my best!

Lucifer struggled a bit with your ADHD at first. But it was only because he had a hard time getting you to focus on your tasks. 

He would ask you to do something at school or chores around the house, and he would notice that you always had a hard time completing them.

You would either completely forget the fact that he had asked you to do it, or you would get distracted in the middle of it and the task would remain undone.

Lucifer didn't know that you had ADHD and he was having a particularly bad day. He snapped the slightest bit at you when he noticed that you had once again forgotten to do something he asked.

You apologized and explained that you weren’t doing it on purpose and as soon as you told Lucifer that you had ADHD he understood that this was something beyond your complete control.

He felt bad for snapping at you and went easier on you from then on, simply asking you again or reminding you if he wanted you to get something done.

And, he made sure that Diavolo knew about your ADHD so that he didn’t end up in the same confused state Lucifer had been in.

He sees you as family just like he sees his little brothers and he would never think negatively of you having ADHD.

Mammon exhibits signs of ADHD himself so you and him probably have a lot in common.

He’ll constantly interrupt others and is always on the move. He can never sit still and is easily distracted. He’s the whole package.

Honestly, when it comes to the House of Lamentation the others make small bets to see which of you was going interrupt the other one first.

Mammon doesn’t really notice that you had ADHD and even if you told him that you had it, he wouldn’t understand what you were talking about. Do all teenagers talk in abbreviations?

When you explain what it is, Mammon does admit that it has some similarities to his own personality. But, he didn’t care at all.

If you and he acted the same way then even better! You should consider yourself lucky that the Great Mammon and you have similarities.

In all actuality though, you’d probably have a better grasp of things than Mammon and he ends up learning tricks from you on how to control his impulsive behavior and manage his restlessness.

Mammon is really grateful to have you. 

Levi had a tendency to excessively talk when it came to something that he cared about.

Though he rarely had the opportunity where someone would actually listen to what he had to say.

When he realized that you also rambled on Levi was excited to have someone else in the House of Lamentation that was like him.

If you took an interest in the things that he liked, he would love having conversations with you.

Those conversations would be long and full of interesting points of view but they left you both feeling heard on your opinions.

Levi had a bit of trouble playing games with you because you got easily bored and liked switching between games.

He didn’t mind changing games as long as you least let him get to the save point first.

He’s one of the brothers that would handle your ADHD well.

Satan didn’t quite understand why he was having such a hard time getting you to focus on your schoolwork at first.

He had been tasked with making sure you stayed on top of your studies but whenever the two of you sat down to study, you would either zone or just get completely distracted by something else.

The first time it happened, Satan thought that you were just particularly tired that day. But, when it kept happening, Satan realized it was more than being tired.

He did some research on his own and when he believed he had found the diagnosis he asked you if you had ADHD.

When you told him that you did have ADHD, he felt a sense of accomplishment that he had found the answer.

He’ll continue to do more and more research to try and find a way to help you focus.

By the end of it all, he knows more about ADHD than you do. 

And he’s always trying to give you tips and tricks on help to manage it.

He wasn’t trying to be annoying. He was just trying to help.

Asmo was trying really hard to bond with you. But, he was having a hard time, because it seemed like every time the two of you were talking you completely ignored him.

You either looked like you were in a different world or your attention was on something that was completely unimportant.

Asmo thought that you didn’t like him or that you thought he was boring and his feelings were genuinely a bit hurt.

He just wanted to bond with you like his brothers had.

When you explained that it wasn’t him but your ADHD he felt relieved and when you told him what having ADHD was like he felt like you shouldn’t have to apologize for it.

Asmo doesn’t want anyone else misinterpreting you so he’ll take photos or short videos and post them to social media - with your permission, of course - to help spread awareness.

Now that he knows what it is, Asmo finds your ADHD adorable. Humans can have the funniest quirks sometimes.

Beel may not fully grasp the concept of ADHD, but he knows that it’s a part of you, and because of that, he finds it precious. 

He loves it whenever he sees a symptom of your ADHD.

If you were zoning out, he would make sure you were doing it somewhere safe.

After all, he had a lot of practice with people zoning out thanks to Belphie.

If you were feeling restless, Beel would make sure to go with you wherever you wanted to go or do whatever you wanted to do.

He knew demons didn’t know what ADHD was but he dared someone to try and make fun of you for having it.

He would be so quick to defend you. He won’t let anyone try to make you feel bad for something that you can’t control.

And he made sure that you knew that if you ever needed anything to come to him. You were part of his family now.

When Belphie first found out that you had ADHD, he thought that you were just messing with him.

He was sleeping on the couch next to you and you had constantly been moving, shaking the couch a bit.

Belphie thought that you were just trying to prevent him from sleeping as a joke.

But when he asked you to stop he noticed how uncomfortable you looked just sitting completely still.

He asked if something was wrong and you told him it was hard for you to sit still because of your ADHD. 

He had a blank expression on his face, not understanding what you had said to him so you went further into your explanation.

Belphie understood by the end of it and allowed you to continue moving if you needed to. He was the Avatar of Sloth and he could fall asleep anywhere under any circumstances.

He found it funny when you would space out and just stare at nothing in particular.

It reminded him of himself before he passed out.

But you didn’t seem to have the same tendency he had to just fall asleep after daydreaming.

Lucifer had been the one to tell Diavolo about your ADHD and as much as he hated to admit it, he had to do some research to understand what exactly it was.

Once he understood it though, Diavolo did everything he could to ensure you would be comfortable down here in the Devildom.

He made sure that your workload wasn’t too much because he didn’t want to overwhelm you and he knew that you would have a hard time completing large amounts of work.

With how busy he was, Diavolo didn’t get much of a chance to see your ADHD in action. But when you came over for the retreat at the castle, Diavolo noticed all of the traits that Lucifer had told him about. 

He couldn’t help but be curious about your symptoms. He paid close attention and made sure to incorporate what he had learned into your future days in the Devildom.

It was his job as the future King of the Devildom to ensure that everyone enjoyed their time in his kingdom and you were no exception.

Barbatos, like Lucifer, struggled with your ADHD at first. He was a very punctual demon so when he noticed you consistently showing up late or not completing your tasks, he was slightly irritated. 

He thought you were just being a typical teenager and neglecting your tasks because you simply didn’t feel like doing them.

Lucifer was also the one who told Barbatos that you had ADHD and what all that entailed. 

Barbatos was determined to help you get some sense of order in your life. 

He knew that you couldn’t always control when you got distracted and that you had a hard time focusing.

But, he was hoping that he would be able to help you - at least enough to stay on top of your school work.

Barbatos would reward you when you managed to stay on track, feeling proud as if he had raised you himself.

He doesn’t mind your other symptoms at all. He believed they were all things that helped make you unique. Things that everyone in the Devildom had come to admire.

The first time Simeon had watched you zone out, he thought that there was something wrong with you.

He wasn’t sure if someone had placed a curse on you or if you were having a human problem - a stroke maybe? Either way, he was panicking.

He immediately started calling for Lucifer and his worried voice pulled out of your thoughts. “Simeon, what’s wrong?” you asked him and he had never breathed such a big sigh of relief. 

He told you that he thought there had been something wrong with you and it made you laugh.

You assured him that you were okay and explained your ADHD. 

Simeon was much better prepared the next time it happened and he did not freak out.

He did find it interesting that humans could have something like ADHD. The human species was a strange one.

Simeon likes it when you explain your symptoms to him. He loves learning about humans from you and if you ever need any help from him, he won’t hesitate.

Solomon immediately knew the signs of ADHD. He had known many people in the human world who had it as well.

So he wasn’t panicked or confused when you would zone out or fidget. And he was incredibly patient when it came to you accidentally talking over him or rambling on.

He knew how to react to people with ADHD and it was comforting to talk to him because of how good he was with you. 

You and Solomon ended up getting along pretty well because of this.

You were lucky that he had been chosen as the other human exchange student because you weren’t sure how long you would have survived down here without him.

Solomon enjoyed your presence a lot because he thought of you like a little sibling and couldn’t help but find it adorable when one of your ADHD symptoms would present itself. 

He definitely will try to give you charms that he created to keep with you at school to try and help improve your focus.

He didn’t want to think about the demon brothers’ reactions if you started failing your classes. Especially Lucifer and Satan.

[noturlondonboy]

Not the Time

Wenclair Oneshot

Pairing: Wednesday Addams x Enid Sinclair

Summary: Enid has a gay little moment when Wednesday ultimately succumbs to the exhaustion of being alive.

A/N: one of the first Wenclair oneshots I ever wrote! I’m in love with this show and this ship and want to write for them more. Super excited about S2! Enjoy :)❤️

Enid Sinclair knew three essential things about her roommate.

One, don’t touch Wednesday without permission unless you wanted a knife through your throat.

Two, never insult a member of the Addams family if you wanted to have pleasant dreams.

And three, never interrupt Wednesday’s writing time with pointless questions, or you wouldn’t get another chance to go to bed in the first place.

The first one was hard for Enid and rather disheartening, but she’d take never wolfing out again over making Wednesday physically uncomfortable in a heartbeat. The second one was easy beyond reason; she had nothing bad to say about the Addams’, as they had treated her with nothing but their odd kindness and strangely comforting words. (Not to mention that Thing was practically Enid’s Right Hand Man, after Wednesday’s, of course.)

And the third- well. Enid had never been good at that. It was very clear when Wednesday was starting her writing time. The scraping of that ungodly ancient chair and shuffling of thick paper was unmistakable and unfortunately impossible to miss, especially when paired with a properly deadpan comment of “It’s my writing time now, Enid, and it would do you some good to stay quiet and get your herbology homework done.”

It was very hard to pretend Enid didn’t know it was such, and therefore have an excuse to bother Wednesday, at least once, without more than a scathing glance in retort fusing her lips shut. But she couldn’t help it, she really couldn’t! Enid was a social young wolf, and as easy as it would be to go hang out with Yoko, she had recently found herself wanting to be around Wednesday at every possible chance, even more than usual, especially when those dark eyes were so focused on the task at hand.

Enid wanted to tell Wednesday about her day, and she wanted to know if anything particularly interesting had happened to her roommate in turn. She could usually get a sentence or two out of her if she pouted enough, but most often Thing was eventually sent over to distract her.

It was an odd routine between the two of them. Jittery, anxious energy just begging to be let loose, only to be leashed by the dark force of Wednesday Addams when she was In The Zone.

Normally, Wednesday would stalk into their dorm room and get started on this exact scenario in just a minute or two after her last class or strange activity. She would nod to Enid in acknowledgement, humor her with a bit of conversation while she changed out of her uniform, and then seat herself at her desk.

But today was odd, even for Wednesday.

The week had been lethally long and so boring that Enid was sure she would die on more than one occasion, and her complaints were always met with a sharp comment from Wednesday’s silver tongue about actually taking her ADHD meds for once. Even with them in her system, the teachers had been even drier than usual the last few days, and Enid was ready to claw her hair out if something interesting didn’t happen soon.

So as soon as the door to the room opened with a quiet swish of air, the werewolf was sitting up eagerly on her colorful bed, watching Wednesday with bright eyes.

She froze immediately. Wednesday's hands were clenched tightly and her fingers twitched against her palms, her clomping footsteps uneven and louder than usual as she seethed quietly over to her closet. There was no glance at Thing, no nod to Enid, and no twitch of an intrigued smile at the new cobweb on her side of the room.

Something was wrong. Wednesday Addams was grumpy. She didn’t do grumpy. Only mildly disgruntled.

“Wednesday? Are you okay?” Enid stood carefully, squinting her eyes slightly at her dark little roommate, who was clawing (for lack of a better word) her blazer and vest off with wild abandon like the articles of clothing had personally offended her.

Wednesday gave no answer, only continued to undress and toss her clothes carelessly onto her bed, which in itself was more alarming than the lack of interest for the spiderweb. Wednesday was not a careless person, and Enid knew she hated having her things a mess. Even so, her platforms were chucked under the bed with a jerking rage to her movements as her shirt, skirt and tie joined the pile on the covers, leaving her in her black undergarments.

Enid quickly whipped back towards her side of the room, face burning as Wednesday finished changing. Now was not the time. Her Wednesday was clearly upset.

There was a heated sigh from said Wednesday, closely followed by the scrape of her chair on the floor. Enid turned back, expecting to find the girl’s braids facing her, but was surprised to meet Wednesday’s dark gaze head on.

Enid jumped slightly, startled. She didn’t dare utter a word, not when her roommate had that look on her face, like she wanted to crush the sun between her hands and make herself everyone’s problem. Like she was just daring Enid to say something.

They stared at each other silently, Enid’s shoulders tense. Cold sweat dripped down her back. She resisted the urge to tap against her leg, afraid that movement would set Wednesday off. Even Thing was staying stock still in his little hammock by Wednesday’s cello.

Or maybe he was asleep. Enid couldn’t be sure. He was a hand. It was all very strange.

Another beat, and then Wednesday sat herself down with nothing but a soft breath, her back rigid as she rolled her shoulders in an act that Enid would almost call anxious. If she didn’t have a shred of self-preservation, that is. (She doesn’t, not really.)

A quick glance to Thing confirmed that he was in fact awake, and all he gave her was a confused ‘idk’ before burrowing further into the warmth of his little bed. Enid scowled at him, signing at him that he was no help, even though he couldn’t (hear? See?) her.

The clicking of Wednesday’s old typewriter was slow and uneven. Enid watched the girl cautiously, slowly sitting back down on her bed, her hands under her legs to keep herself from picking at her nails. She watched Wednesday apprehensively, not sure what to do.

Did she dare to say something and ultimately face the price if Wednesday decided to rebuke? Or did she stay silent and try to ignore the way her roomie seemed to be wilting against her desk, her feet (which only had black and white striped socks and no boots, another oddity) no longer pressed completely to the floor, now instead tilting away from each other, like the muscles in her legs were failing to exert themselves enough to do as they should.

“I can feel your horrendously bright eyes burning unpleasant holes through my head, Enid.”

Enid startled yet again, a yelp slipping through her lips as her claws shot out. Wednesday’s voice was quiet and lacking in the solid sternness that was normally paired with her words, and yet she was still imposing from where she sat, several feet away.

“Spit it out,” Wednesday droned, her arms falling into her lap.

A moment.

“You seem tired,” was all Enid could come up with. She scolded herself.

“I am always tired, Enid. The perpetual state of existence that I am forced to be a part of is both exhausting and exhilarating. I delight in the feeling of my blood thickening and weighing my every movement down quite a bit. It provides a challenge, and forces my mind to work harder to be alert.”

Enid blinks at her, absolutely baffled, and Wednesday seems to know this, because she sighs softly out of her nose, and turns her head to see her. Her irises are deep pools of weary intelligence, so dark that Enid swears she could drown in them.

But what really catches her attention are the bruisen circles under Wednesday's eyes.

“Ok, yeah, sure, you’re always tired, existing is a lot, all that good goth stuff- when was the last time you slept, Willa?” Enid inquires boldly, her brow furrowing as she holds herself from walking over to Wednesday to smooth away the crinkle on her forehead. Wednesday would stuff a knife down her throat. Rule number one.

Wednesday’s face doesn’t shift, but she seems to emanate an intent of murder. “My sleeping patterns are not your concern, Enid.”

“It’s that stupid basilisk case you’ve been on, isn’t it?” Enid quickly bites out, suddenly feeling rather upset. “You’ve been distracting me from you being out so late to hunt a giant freaking snake with all the intolerable coddling about me taking my meds.” (The intolerable part is a lie. Enid is very a-okay with the fact that Wednesday pays enough attention to remind her to take her meds.)

“You have medicine for a reason.”

“And the human body needs sleep for a reason.”

“I’m barely human, Enid, we both know this.”

“You’re still way more human than me, Wednesday. And I can barely function most of the time!”

“Exactly, which is why you have medication.”

“Why you- that’s- that’s not the point!” Enid sputtered, ruffled.

Wednesday had that cruel little smirk on her lips that popped the barest hint of a dimple out and made Enid’s cheeks hot at the most inconvenient of times. That unbearably smug little thing…

A yawn interrupts them both and stops Enid’s quip about the change of topic in her throat. A yawn from Wednesday. Enid has a feeling Wednesday’s eyes would betray just how tired and caught off guard she is by this, if only they weren’t scrunched up as she bowed her head into her chest and covered her mouth with her hands.

The amount of devastated whiplash happening in Enid’s head is going to be giving her migraines for days. On one hand, she wants to jump up in a triumphant shout and say that she was right, Wednesday wasn’t sleeping, but on the other, she’s rather distracted by the glimpse of Wednesday’s sharper-than-expected-canines and the way her button nose is scrunching up.

(The teeth thing isn’t weird, Enid swears. She’s a werewolf. She’s allowed to notice teeth. And think they’re attractive. Of course.)

Wednesday is still curled in on herself, as if she’s hiding. If Enid didn’t know better, she’d say her headstrong and impulsive roommate was being shy. (Enid does not know better.)

Wisely refraining from making an extremely gay comment on how cute Wednesday is, Enid instead says, “You need to sleep, Wednesday. I know you think you’re immortal, but I feel like everything that happened with Crackstone and Tyler should put even you in your place about that sort of thing.” The werewolf is suddenly feeling very, very sober at the reminder that they had both almost died just a few short months ago. There’s nothing cute about that. Tiktok is a damned lie.

Wednesday doesn’t seem to have a response for that, but she does look back up to Enid, her eyes trailing to the scars on her face as the muscles behind her heavy eyes seem to loosen, the semi-permanent look of distaste falling into something soft, akin to guilt, as she, too, is reminded of the events of that night.

Enid is not used to Wednesday looking at her scars. She is not used to Wednesday’s eyes on her like that, not at all. She flushes yet again, dipping her head so that her hair falls over them.

Wednesday looks decidedly upset about that.

Refusing to address whatever the actual hell just happened, Enid simply sits up taller, balling her fists in her lap. “You need to sleep tonight, Wednesday.”

“I will.” She’s lying.

“You’re lying.”

“I am not, Enid. I would never.” Yes, she is.

“Yes, you are, and yes, you would. You just did. I know your tells, you little sycophant.”

Wednesday blinks, seemingly taken aback. Quite the oddity. Enid can barely believe it herself.

“Sleep.”

“No.” Dammit.

“I need to write, and then I have more clues to look at. I’m close to cracking this one.”

Enid stands, folding her arms over her chest and grinding her teeth. “It’s really not the time to be stubborn, Willa.”

Surprisingly, Wednesday stands too, her stance lenient as she stalks closer. “It’s what makes me so charming,” she bites out, sarcasm dripping heavily like venom from her sharp tongue.

“There are a lot of things that make you charming, but right now, stubbornness is not one of them,” Enid snaps back before she can take a moment to think over her words. She doesn’t even realize what she’s said until Wednesday pauses yet again, her eyes narrowed into quizital slits.

Hint hint, Enid’s cheeks are once again red. But she doesn’t take it back. Wednesday has been running on empty for days now, and if she has to wrestle the girl into bed and pin her down to hold her there, she will. (She tries not to think too hard about that. Once again, not the time.)

Realizing that Enid is being quite serious for once, Wednesday lets out a huff from her little nose and turns back to her desk to sit down, posture wavering immediately. “One hour. I will write for one hour, and then I will go to bed, as long as you stop talking.”

Enid frowns, knowing it’s the best she’s going to get, but she still doesn’t go back to her bed.

Wednesday is quiet and types for a moment, before shaking her head almost sincerely. “I will sleep, Enid. I promise.”

Enid beams, happy with that answer, and skips on over to jump into her blankets. She sets an alarm on her phone for one hour, and promptly scrolls through her Pinterest with a small seed of contentment in her chest.

It’s not even ten minutes later that Wednesday’s faltering typing stops completely, and Enid waits a moment before peeking up over her pillows to see what her roommate is up to. To her utter shock and complete disbelief, Wednesday is asleep, her dark head of hair slumped forward against her forearm as one hand still lays on the typewriter keys. Her back rises and falls softly, and her black hoodie seems to swallow her up.

Enid swoons.

Careful to be quiet, the werewolf gets back off her bed and steps over the wood board that once held the black tape dividing their room in two. She hasn’t been into Wednesday’s side of the room uninvited in quite a while, and she swears it’s colder and draftier the further in she gets. Typical.

Thing watches her from his hammock with a vague interest as she grabs a blanket off of Wednesday’s bed and goes to drape it over the sleeping girl. She wraps it around her softly and gently takes Wednesday’s hand off of the typewriter, tucking it under her head with the other. She’s honestly surprised that Wednesday hasn’t woken up and cursed her entire bloodline yet. She’s not too entirely opposed to the thought. It’s kind of hot, actually, if she takes a minute to think about it.

(It is, once again, still not the time.)

Wednesday’s cheek is squished against her arm, and Enid decides it’s the best thing she’s ever seen. The girl’s face is softer in sleep, the dying light through their window casting melting shapes over the lines of her jaw, the curve of her nose, the dip of her mouth. Enid cannot help but to stare, and she can’t quite find the strength to stop.

“I haven’t felt her skin on mine since our hug last semester, Thing,” she whispers carefully. “I have dreams about it sometimes, actually.” Enid lets out a tiny laugh. “How embarrassing is that?”

She doesn’t look up to see if he answers or was even listening. She just watches Wednesday, watches to make sure she really is sleeping, that she’s still breathing, that her eyes aren’t twitching behind their lids with nightmares. She doesn’t care how many times Wednesday says she enjoys them. They’re not cool.

Enid holds in a breath and places her hand over Wednesday’s, the tips of her fingers buzzing with the contact.

“She’s still so much warmer than I thought she would be.” Her voice is small and she can hear the disgusting amount of adoration that seeps from it. Wednesday would never stand for this. But Wednesday is asleep, and Enid is greedy, and wants this moment all to herself.

A moment passes, maybe two, maybe minutes, Enid isn’t sure- but she finds her head next to Wednesday’s on the desk, their breathing slow and in sync. Enid feels calm, her heart letting itself just simply be.

“You're so beautiful,” she breathes, hardly aware of how dead she would be if Wednesday woke up right then. She doesn’t quite care. All she knows is that Wednesday is sleeping, and her face has gone from cunningly sharp to peaceful, from a brewing storm to the soft rain of summer.

Enid catches herself and quickly leans back up, dizzy with something she can’t really describe. She should leave. She really should go to her side of the room. There were a few hours before her own bed time, and lots of school work to do.

But when she finally convinced herself through the haze in her head to take her hand away, a small motion and a pulse on one of her fingers kept her there. She freezes, slowly looking down.

Wednesday’s pinky is looped over Enid’s own, and as she holds her breath and makes another attempt to pull away, the hold on it only tightens. Wednesday’s brow seems to furrow. The devastating corners of her taunting mouth pull down.

Enid stops trying. Wednesday’s face melts back into a perfect mask of serenity that has Enid’s knees going weak.

“I won’t leave,” she murmurs, her heart pounding in her ears. “I’ll stay, Willa.” She ever so carefully scoots her way onto the chair with Wednesday, one leg hanging off while her friend is still blessedly seated and stable.

Wednesday makes no move to push her off or wake up- in fact, she seems to lean into Enid, melting against her shoulder. One of her braids falls out of the blanket and over Enid’s arm, and she swears she’s going to die. Again.

Enid can only look at her in awe and do her best to hold back the explosion of gay panic that’s sizzling at the base of her skull. Not the time, not the time, not the time.

She falls asleep like that, her hand interlocked with Wednesday’s, their faces inches apart, soft breaths intermingling. She knows she’ll have a cramp tomorrow. And Wednesday will likely kill her in the most brutal way. But Enid doesn’t mind, not really.

She’s just happy to be there with her.

[bahablastplz]

All in | Chapter 12.5 (Jisung & Minho)

pairing: Lee Felix x f!reader (mafia au)

summary: You didn't know what you were getting yourself into when you started dating Yang Jungwon, notorious mafia boss. Your life gets flipped upside down when you're found beaten and bloody by SKZ, the rival mafia group, and you're quickly integrated into their lives. What will happen when you try to leave your old life behind and start anew?

chapter summary: Jisung has always been overlooked. Minho has been invisible in his own ways. The two have become inexplicably linked; how did Jisung and Minho come to join SKZ?

warnings: please see series masterlist for all warnings.

series masterlist ~~ series taglist ~~ main masterlist

Jisung 

When I was in third grade, I could not pay attention for shit. 

It annoyed the Hell out of my teachers—I would lean back in my chair, I would distract my classmates by talking to them, and I would even intentionally mess up my assignments as a way to cull the boredom. In reality, I was lost in my own head. My own thoughts were my downfall, even though I was just a child. Full of thoughts, worrying about what my classmates thought of me, whether or not my parents would yell at me, and even coming up with long, convoluted scenarios about all the worst ‘what-ifs.” 

When I was in the third grade, I started missing assignments. I would lose them in my backpack that was always a mess; I couldn’t keep track of my assignments like I couldn’t keep track of those thoughts. One day, my mother got called into the principal's office to talk about my behavior. They suggested signing me up for counseling, that my behavior could have been due to an underlying and untreated disorder. 

That night when we got home, my mother beat me. She scolded me for bringing unwanted attention to our family, for causing a scene and making up issues that didn’t exist. I didn’t need counseling, she told me, I was just stupid. Stupid, idiotic, good-for-nothing child that can’t even pay attention in class. 

The thoughts got worse after that. 

When I was in the fifth grade, I started meeting up with the school counselor in secret. I told her about my mom’s adversity toward me going to therapy, though I left out the details—that sometimes, she would beat me or call me names, that some nights she took pills when she thought I wasn’t looking. I didn’t know a lot at that age, but I knew those were things I was not allowed to share. 

The counselor told me I likely had some academic confidence issues. No shit. But one day, she called up my mother and told her all of her suspicions about me: That I likely had ADHD, ODD, and generalized anxiety. It would explain my lack of attention, my blatant disrespect toward the teachers, and the thoughts. I didn’t want her to tell my mom. Didn’t think she would, because of confidentiality and shit. But my mother was surprisingly receptive to the idea, especially when she found out that I would be starting medication that could fix me. 

That was the first time I felt hope. Hope that I could be better, that maybe she would see me as more than just her stupid son that had no life ahead of him. 

I never started treatment for my problems. It fell through, more or less, though I found out years later it was because my mom started taking the medication prescribed for me. In seventh grade, after a particularly hard night that my mom had beaten me, I left the house. I was only gone for a few hours, hanging out with people that were certainly no good for me way past my curfew. It was only a few hours, but when I returned home my mother was dead. In her hand was a bottle of adderall prescribed to Han Jisung. Me. 

Grief is a funny thing. No, maybe funny isn’t the right word. Because when you’ve never known grief, it runs you over like a stampede, suffocating you until it’s all you know. In the seventh grade, grief was all I knew. Unsettled were all of the questions I had for her; Do you really think I’m stupid? Do I have any sort of potential, or am I just a waste of space? Am I worth anything? But now that she was dead and I was unable to ask her, it was like all of those statements just became the truth. If she was unable to refute them, then they would simply become a fact of life. 

I dropped out of highschool after my first semester. I ran away from the shitty foster home they had placed me in, though ‘placed’ is sort of a kind word. When you’re a teen in the system, you don’t really tend to stay in one home. You bounce around, one after another, reminded that you’re nothing, nobody, and that you will never be wanted. You’ll never stay in one school district, never get to keep in contact with your friends, and never get to keep any of your possessions that you hold dear. So, the first night in foster home number ten, I ran away. 

When I was fourteen years old, I joined a gang. 

They were entertained by me. One thing I found out was that they were amused by how reckless I was. That I would do just about anything they asked. Because when you have nothing to lose you can raise the stakes—and if you make people laugh in return, even better. I lived off of their praise, which was maybe why I was more willing to do things that were… well, stupid, so to speak. 

I’m not sure what my life would have looked like if I hadn’t met Lee Minho, my partner in crime. 

─ ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──── ♡ ─── ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──

Minho 

Invisibility. I always knew what that was like. 

I didn’t exactly realize that I grew up in a gang, at first. I knew that I wasn’t like my peers, that I should stay quiet and stay to myself, to not draw too much attention. There were just certain qualities of my life that were different–my parents would never come to parent-teacher conferences, I would never have a sleepover or birthday parties with my classmates, and I should never talk about what happened in my home. 

These were just things that were always a part of my life. I never really made any friends, but I was good at school. Most people never even knew my name, but that was just how I liked it. Once I got to a certain age I really started realizing what was going on in my house–the robbing, the selling of drugs, the violent crimes, but I turned a blind eye. Always doing homework in the background of my house where these things were taking place, I got very good at listening. So even if I wasn’t involved, I always knew what was going on. And for some reason, my mother and my father, who knew that I was too unnaturally intelligent to be their child, never forced me to participate in anything. I’m not sure they ever knew that I knew more than I was supposed to.

One day when I came home I could tell that something wasn’t quite right. As soon as I walked through the door I was met with silence, not the usual commotion that I would try to avoid. As I walked through the house I found the gun that I knew was hidden in between the couch cushions, turning off the safety. Though I was only a junior in high school I knew there was a silent, unspoken responsibility to be upheld, to protect the same way I had been protected. I held the gun close to my chest, listening closely as I stood against the wall of the kitchen listening to a near-silent conversation. 

“We don’t have your money,” my father confessed. A pair of footsteps walked around the room impatiently, a breath hitching as someone cocked their gun. “We never even gave them the cocaine, it was a bad deal!”

The person scoffed, clearly unamused. “You’re really going to lie to my face? The issue here is that you ratted us out to the police after selling Mark the coke.”

I heard what sounded like my mother’s voice beginning to protest, and though I didn’t know nearly enough of the situation I rounded the corner and pulled the trigger twice. Two bodies I’ve never seen before fell dead on the kitchen floor, limp with their own guns in hand. My parents were relieved, though I had never really cared how they felt towards me one way or another, I turned and put the gun back where it belonged. I let them deal with the mess of the dead bodies and the cleanup. It was the first time I ever allowed myself to intervene, and while I wasn’t exactly sure why I did it it wasn’t the last. 

I was glad I was able to take advantage of my invisibility, of the people who had never heard my name, who never knew my parents even had a child let alone that he knew how to shoot a gun. That he knew the intricacies of the gang business at the age of sixteen years old. 

When I was a senior in high school I graduated near top of my class. I had a perfect GPA, missing the extracurricular activities that my peers had to help them succeed on their applications, but I exceeded in every subject I ever tried in. I even got accepted to a great school in statistics and business with a full ride, but I never told my parents. I thought I was going to enroll, but then somebody new joined the gang. 

We hadn’t had someone new join the gang in over two years, since I killed the two opposing members. Of course, this spiked my curiosity, but I heard that this new guy was more popular with the younger members. Han Jisung was his name, and he wasn’t quite like anybody else I had ever met before. 

Some of our younger members were surprised that I had any investment in their sakes, but I was genuinely curious about this guy. Fourteen years old, dropped out of school, willing to do just about anything that anybody had ever asked of him. He seemed to be in it for shits and giggles, thriving off of the attention he got whenever he did something particularly spontaneous. Stealing from an old woman, selling drugs to a police officer’s girlfriend, he seemed to do just about anything if he could get a laugh out of it. It seemed like bad news–for everyone. If he did something particularly stupid, he would get us all fucked. 

He was assigned to his first real mission–robbing a bank, and for some reason, I decided to tag along too. I’m not sure if it was because I was concerned about the future of the gang–that wasn’t necessarily something I had ever worried about before, but something told me that leaving this guy all by himself was bad news. My parents had been slacking on their leadership of our gang for years, so it was just about time before it fell apart for good. 

Han Jisung didn’t quite seem to like me. Maybe that was unfair to say, because it was just that he didn’t really seem to talk to me at all at first. I think I had a tendency to over-explain things, to be protective and tell him to stand up for himself. He was no longer in high school, he told me, and so I taught him all of the things he needed to know along the way of our mission. I skipped the first day of my college orientation.

What I wasn’t expecting was for things to work out as perfectly as they did. Jisung was an amazing listener. He rarely needed to be explained to twice, and for some reason his brain had a perfect understanding and explanation of blueprints. Once being taught a weapon he was a certified master of it, and though I had shot a gun and had killed people before I was more confident in his abilities, his way around a dagger or a pistol.

Han Jisung was quite literally made to work with me, I concluded, as our heist went off without a hitch. What had started off as a mission that was a joke in order to get Jisung incriminated was more than a success, as we accumulated thousands of dollars without the authorities ever knowing it was us. And though the younger boy was apprehensive towards me at first and I had spent years telling myself I would never get involved in my parent’s business, it was obvious that we were… well, partners in crime, so to speak. 

I found out more about Han Jisung. His mother was just recently deceased and he was very clearly being taken advantage of by the other members of the gang. He was willing to do anything for the attention, when all he needed was someone to believe in him. 

Jisung was my very first friend. I wasn’t willing to call it that at first, but that’s what it was. I was willing to finally tell someone what it was like to grow up in a gang, to work hard to be the top of your class but get no recognition for it. I thought that maybe I would go to college just to be far away from here, just so I could be somebody else, but I was never even sure if that’s what I wanted. 

Jisung told me that he has always been seen as less than, as stupid. No matter how hard he worked, nobody would ever see him for his efforts. He would always, always be dismissed.

I didn’t want to be invisible. He didn’t want to be dumb. It seemed like for the first time, we each saw each other as more than what we had always been. And we worked exceptionally well together, even if neither of us necessarily wanted to be involved in crime. 

I started to think that maybe I could end up like my parents. Maybe I could see a future in this gang, that I could be someone to professionally carry out crimes and get away with it like nobody else ever had before. That maybe there was a future for me and Jisung to be out there, on top and well-known. Though, I unfortunately caught my parent’s negative attention, and with Jisung still known as ‘the boy that would do just about anything,’ it didn’t come of any good. 

We were told we needed to infiltrate another gang. The opposing gang whose leaders I had killed two years ago were still out for vengeance and it was nothing more than a death wish. Even we could realize that, but there was no getting out of this. 

Jisung and I were walking the streets, looking for new weapons and discussing infiltration plans when we were approached by an unfamiliar stranger. 

“Are you the two that carried out the infamous robbery on main street two months ago?” 

Jisung and I had both frozen, reaching for our guns in our pockets as we eyed the mystery man. He had a large nose and wide lips, dark eyes with longer black hair to match his dark ensemble. He gestured us toward an alleyway, and with knowing side-glances, Jisung and I cautiously joined the man for some privacy. Bang Chan, he had introduced himself, one of the most well-known mafia leaders in this area. That was not something to be taken lightly. 

“That infiltration was not something to be executed by beginners,” he laughed, whistling as if to show us just how impressed he was. “You would need to be someone seriously smart, to really know what you’re doing.”

“And your point is?” I had asked, crossing my arms and looking at him with trepidation. I ignored the way that Jisung’s eyes had lit up upon being called smart, the way that Chan had taken notice of this and used this to his advantage. 

“The point is, I want–no, need people on my team that are as smart, as capable as you two. The Lee family has been a part of this city for years, very well-known. But you, Minho, you don’t like to make yourself known, do you? You would prefer to keep yourself in the shadows, to focus on your studies. And you, Jisung, you just need somewhere to belong, don’t you? Aren’t you tired of not fitting in?”

Okay, so this guy seriously knew what he was talking about, how to use his words to take advantage of a situation. It was as if he saw the way that Jisung reacted and easily maneuvered his plan to work in his favor.  I tried to look away from the way that Jisung tensed up, visibly excited when Chan spoke. I even had to calm my own nerves. I was sure there was nothing he could offer us, nothing that could persuade me, but I was wrong. Bang Chan already had his victory written in stone. 

“Come, work for me instead. I’m sure your talents could be properly used. They’re being exploited right now, aren’t they? Don’t you want to get away? Minho, don’t you want to forget the Lee family, let your intelligence be acknowledged for what it is? I promise that we won’t throw you into any known danger for our own amusement at SKZ. You can’t tell me it’s not tempting, no?” 

And no, I couldn’t say it wasn’t tempting. Though I had no more chance of escaping through means of a college degree, I could still get away through other means. I could be useful in ways other than people throwing me head-first into a suicide mission. It seemed more sustainable for me and Jisung both, and I could tell I wasn’t the only one considering it. 

We had two days before we were expected to take down the opposing gang. 

“The only catch is you need to come with me right now and never look back.” 

One glance at Jisung and I could tell that our decision was already made. My partner in crime, now at a different location to work with me within reasonable means. It was strange, wasn’t it? To want to keep my first and only friend, to be willing to continue the life of crime in a way that was more organized and deliberate? 

But on top of that, even moreso I felt this innate desire to protect Jisung, my only friend. I couldn’t let him go by himself either for fear that he would be easily exploited by this powerful man. 

And even though I had become well-known as the ‘master of infiltration’ I wasn’t sure how much longer I wanted to be invisible for, not when I found the one person who had made me feel seen. I could either send us both into a death trap and Jisung would never be recognized for his talent, risk the only thing I’ve ever cared about dying before my eyes, or I could take Chan up on his offer. 

“We’re in.” 

─ ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──── ♡ ─── ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──

taglist: @shuporanporang ; @purp13st4r ; @eurydiceofterabithia ; @heartsbyandra ; @thicccurls ;

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@raspberrii ; @holdontoitwhileitlasts ; @korthbum ; @nxtt2-u ; @drinkingrumandcocacola ;

[thekeeperof-thefandoms]

Would they build a Minecraft cottage with you?

Hazbin addition

Alastor

Probably not in canon. If you did manage to get him to play, he has no idea how computers work. He would not know anything about Minecraft and die a lot unless you were in creative mode.

Does think the idea is cute and will help you plan and design the cottage and farm. Enjoys the coziness. Essentially manages you. Probably stays in the house all the time once it's built decorating, cooking, organizing.

Minecraft Housewife.

Vox

Fuck the cottage. Man built an entire castle with redstone doors, trapdoors, hidden rooms, hot tubs, a full aquarium. Has an automated farm and a full enchanting room and library.

He spends more time building his perfect automates fortress than playing with you.

Congrats by the way, your his grunt worker now. He needs more ore, more diamond, more lapis, go get it for him. He's gonna build a nether portal while you're gone.

Updates it all the time with new stuff. Nether quarts pillars and stairs. Then purrpurr ones. Literally, whatever is the new rarest thing he wants all over the place.

But your Minecraft beds are together and you have all the best gear.

Lucifer

No idea what Minecraft is but wants to spend time with you. Genuinely has fun with it and does help you build your cottage.

You guys have a cute little farmhouse. He looked up building guides to make decorative roofs, wells, a windmill. Just cutesy things to add to your farm.

Helps you gather supplies and tend the animals. Will cry if one of them accidentally dies. Has definitely named them after his family. Like the cat that's permanently in your room named Lily or a bunny named Charlie.

Shows off his Minecraft house and pets to the entire hotel.

Angel Dust

Says he will, has ADHD moment, gets distracted, winds up in the Netherworld.

Literally tries so hard but is physically incapable of finishing anything.

Messes with your stuff sometimes just for funsies.

You have fun though.

BONUS!!

Valentino

Can barely see the screen. Doesn't really care about the game. Leaves dick shaped block towers everywhere.

Gets frustrated easily and purposefully destroys things.

Absolutely would not let you put your Minecraft bed next to his.

Husk

Wouldn't play. He likes watching you play, though, and will compliment your house and farm.

He's not big on video games but enjoys being near you and watching you have fun. He may help you in boss fights but you gotta show him the controls first. Is oddly good at combat in most games.

[ar-cadez]

Count Duckula Fan Rewrite!!

Recently I’ve been working on a Count Duckula rewrite that aims to give it a slightly more serious tone and semi-serialized story like many modern cartoons! It took some time, but I made redesigns of the main cast. I had fun making this project and I REALLY hope you do too! Because I’m extremely nervous that the small fan base Count Duckula does have will hate this

I haven’t actually finished the show btw so if there’s an antagonist or smth that shows up later I should’ve redesigned.. lmk! I’m open to suggestions I really like this show..

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Basic Concept

Practically the same as the original show! There is a long line of reincarnations of a wicked vampire duck named Count Duckula, the most recent reincarnation went wrong and now the current Count is a vegetarian and much more interested in becoming famous than being evil.

Some major differences include the tone and story structure, being semi-serialized and having more serious arcs mixed in with the antics, along with a lot of changes in characterization. A big story change is also that Nanny was not hired until AFTER Duckula was reincarnated so Igor was the one who screwed up the ritual.

Tone wise I’d also like to slightly age up the target audience so it could get away with a bit more dark humour. My favourite part of the original show was moments that were just so morbid and completely brushed past. 13+ would be fine methinks.

Basic plot of the average episode would be about the count’s hyperfixation of the week and trying to get famous or profit from it. Not every episode would follow this structure though.

The grander themes of the series would be all about expectations from family and strangers and how those expectations can be completely false.

—————————————————

Characters

^^ Final lineup! ^^

Sketches (less interesting poses but shows off some things better)

Count Duckula!

What I wanted to change

I feel like Duckula from the original spin-off was already a really strong character! There is a lot to him and really all I would want from a more emotional reboot is to dive into what’s already there. I did kinda project on him a bit in this rewrite though… gotta write what’cha know!

I also changed his design quite a bit. I never thought the suit fit his personality and I wanted to go with something a little more bright. If I go back again I might saturate his shirt a bit more. I also wanted all the residents of castle Duckula to have purple in their designs and for duckula and Towser to share similar colour’s inversed

Character Traits

Hatred of his legacy

Duckula is the first member of his lineage to not be an evil vampire and he hates that role that is expected of him. This is partially what drives him to be the nicest duck he can be, in hopes of shaking off his legacy. This also causes him to reject anything that's “spooky” or has to do with vampires. He physically can't eat meat or blood due to his botched resurrection, but even the sight of either distresses him.

Attention Drive

Due to his infamy, all Duckula wants is to be liked by the general public. Everyone in his town is automatically scared of him and he tries really hard to change their opinions on him whether that be through attempting to bea good samaritan or by performing in town. (Both tend to end poorly for him)

ADHD and Theatre Kid Behaviour

Duckula is constantly picking up and putting down new forms of art and performance. This can be anything from oil painting to American football. He does tend to get frustrated or distracted and abandon projects or crafts entirely. His favourite artform is acting and music so as you can imagine he's very into musicals. His musical talents are decent but his acting is awful. He’s also known to loud and overly excited over his interests

Ego and Cowardice

Being given a position of power the day you came into existence does have the tendency to make you… immature to say the least. When in danger, if he even realises there is any, Duckula’s first move is to use his title as leverage. If that doesn't work, his second is to beg, grovel, and lie his way out of the situation. That, or hide behind his much more intimidating companions.

Rich Kid Syndrome

Having the majority of people you know be your house staff really messes with your sense of responsibility. Duckula can hardly do many basic life skills on his own because of this. It's not like he is completely lazy but he does have executive dysfunction and has yet to realise that fact, causing him to procrastinate on many things and completely forget or just get someone else to do it.

Not Naturally kind

Being his father’s reincarnation, it only makes sense that Duckula would inherit many traits from his past lives. Many of the other Counts were ego-driven cowards with desires for fame. They just went about it differently. Duckula actively tries to be kind and polite but a lot of passive aggression and snark slips through the cracks of that veneer. He would never want to admit that he has ANYTHING in common with his ancestors and he hates that being nice doesn't just come naturally to him. Being an immortal, Duckula also has a skewed sense of mortality and often doesn't understand the severity of certain injuries and situations.

This Duckula has ADHD and Autism in this rewrite and he struggles most with executive dysfunction, restricted interests, memory issues, atypical empathy (not specifically low or high), sensory issues (mostly with eating and some sound), and social cues. He also stims.

Towser!

What I Wanted to Change

Towser isn’t even really a character in the original. Just a running gag without a face. I wanted to balance out the main cast by adding another female character since I have feelings on Nanny as a character and i didn’t know if i would even be able to salvage that.

I really like what I came up with! She’s fun to me and I’ll probably flesh her out more later.

Character Traits

Family drive

Towser has little interest in birds that aren't close to her and it usually takes awhile for her to get used to new people. However, she’ll protect those that she does care about with her life. She is the castle’s guard dog and will do whatever’s necessary to protect it. This often comes at the cost of her sleep, because she feels like she always needs to be awake to protect them.

Tag Along

Following Duckula around like a puppy is what Towser does best! She might not fully understand his enthusiasm on certain subjects, but she's always up to backing him up on his newest fame seeking endeavours (though she herself prefers physical activity over creative works). She never expects anything to come of it, but hey, at least it's something to do. She also likes to hear Duckula rant to her about his interests.

Big Sister

Towser is of a much more stable mental state than Duckula, and as his only friend around his age, he trusts her more to be someone to talk to about his identity issues and issues in general. The two are a lot warmer towards each other than they are anyone else, and can also get away with messing with the other a lot more.

Big ol Lap dog

When in werewolf form, Towser tends to forget her size and often crushes them with her size. This usually wouldn't be a problem if it weren't for the fact that she's always a lot more cuddly and energetic in wolf form than bird form. This is because, as a werewolf, she's only in wolf form at night and being a fully nocturnal bird that should only be awake at night, this messes with her sleep rhythm a lot.

Igor!

What I wanted to Change

Personality wise Igor is already really strong and I didn’t change much of that. You’ll probably notice from the sketches that Igor has a skeleton hand, that’s because I made him undead in this version just to give a reason to how he’s been able to live this long since the original doesn’t really have one (which is fine)

Character Traits

Devotion to the role

Igor has been the Count’s butler since the first incarnation. He was assigned to keep the Duckula legacy alive by reincarnating his master every time he meets his fate and helping him readjust every time. Helping each new reincarnation bring misery and fear to the town they reside by with a smile… Until the most recent incarnation of course. He’ll stick it out though, because he still has hope for him.

Taste for the macabre

Whether it be killing innocents behind the back of his new master, decorating the castle with cobwebs and bones, or using his undead nature to scare and torture those around him, Igor certainly has an interesting idea of fun. Igor gets a sick enjoyment out of causing others distress and despises all things kind and cute, something which definitely frustrates Duckula, who's desperately trying to fix his own image.

Bitter Traditionalist

Having lived through the centuries in castle Duckula, Igor has gained an appreciation for the history of the place and the vampire ducks that have resided there over the years. He’s rather invested in the lives of his previous masters and is extremely cross with the newest incarnation for not only not caring about that past, but also completely disowning it. Igor tries desperately to get Duckula to be a normal vampire, truly believing it could work with enough effort. Less he spend the next few centuries with a vegetarian for a master… Igor would not have a problem with Duckula pursuing fame if it weren't for the fact that he thinks it's distracting him from true vampirism.

Tired old man

Igor has lived for many centuries and he does not feel as if he should have to babysit for an immature man child like Duckula. He would rather ignore or snark the young count rather than actually talk to him. When the two argue its a constant back and forth of passive aggression and personal jobs that they almost always forget what they're actually arguing over. Duckula is physically and mentally very young (17-early 20s) compared to Igor’s other masters due to the botched revival and he doesn't know how to, or want to, deal with it.

Nanny!

What I Wanted to Change

I’m sorry to any hardcore Nanny fans out there but this is practically a whole new character. I find Nanny to be frustrating and annoying in the original and who I personally feel is a very sexist and mean spirited character. There’s absolutely nothing I would want to write with a character who’s just “big stupid fat woman inconveniences everyone around her” it’s just uncomfortable after a certain point.

My idea for a new take was just an extremely kind older woman who’s a little airheaded but is a lot smarter than people give her credit for. This sets her up as a foil to Igor. She’s also the only non-monster resident of the castle in this version which I personally think is really interesting.

Character Traits

Only good influence

While Igor actively sets out to make Duckula a bad person and Towser couldn't care less about how Duckula acts, Nanny is the only direct influence in Duckula’s life who pushes him to do better. Nanny believes Duckula is a good person at heart and pushes him to take more responsibility in his life. She wants him to learn a good work ethic and is fully supportive of him trying to better himself.

Good Christian Woman

Nanny is, in fact, a christian. She is fully aware of the demonic nature of her companions but believes that everyone can better themselves no matter their circumstances and attempts to better those around her. Igor hates her for it but she’s totally ignorant to that fact.

Assertive Mother Figure

Though Nanny is a very kind woman, she is also not a pushover. She will assert authority over Duckula and anyone else if necessary, and most are compliant once she puts her foot down, if they aren't, however, Nanny does pack a punch and won't hesitate to use her strength to protect her family.

Smarter than she seems

Nanny is an airheaded optimist with a big heart and those traits make her come off a lot more clueless than she actually is. She may seem like she has no idea what’s going on but she’s actually very observant and is fantastic at assessing a situation and finding the best course of action.

Dr. Von Goosewing

What I Wanted to Change

I really liked the idea of the antagonist to Duckula was in a liniage of vampire slayers and that their ancestors have been fighting for generations. It gave me the perfect set up for a ✨SHADOW ANTAGONIST✨ I wanted to make this rewrite have the two reflect each other a lot more. To do that I wanted Goosewing to still be a really cooky guy but I didn’t want the public to know that.

Also I have no idea why he’s dressed like Sherlock Holmes in the original if he’s a Van Helsing parody and also an inventor. You could’ve leaned into either of those ideas but for some reason he’s dressed like a detective? so I tried giving him a more fitting outfit but keeping his colours for recognisablity.

Character Traits

Playing Village hero

Goosewing is considered a big deal in town because of his family of vampire hunters. He’s prepared his whole life to kill Count Duckula the moment he comes back and to protect the common folk from the paranormal. Despite this, Goosewing isn't actually particularly skilled at his job and usually ends up failing his assassinations due to his own incompetence. He feels like he has to play the role as a hero to continue his family’s legacy despite not particularly enjoying it or being good at it.

Overestimating the enemy

With how cunning and malevolent the past Duckula incarnations were, Goosewing expects the same from this one. Goosewing believes that Duckula is a dangerous and clever foe completely focused on causing others pain. In reality, Duckula is the most incompetent bird in all of Transylvania, aside fromGoosewing himself, of course. Goosewing also comes to believe that Duckula is only acting nice to later betray the public, a belief he is not quiet about and that keeps the public from trusting Duckula.

Mad Scientist

Goosewing definitely falls into the eccentric scientist trope with his innovative but scatterbrained nature. He would much rather be working on an invention than actually doing his job. The public sees him as a hero but while hunting vampires or when hes alone he comes off as more of a mad scientist than the hero character he plays. His intentions are ultimately good but are completely based on the assumption that he’s the wholly good protector of the people and that Duckula is a cunning villain who's out to get him and everyone else.

Shadow

Goosewing and Duckula reflect each other in a lot of ways. They both have a legacy they are expected to uphold despite not wanting to or even being able to, they both care deeply about the public’s opinion on them while the public has an incredibly incorrect view of the both of them, and they both have creative interests outside of the roles expected of them that they'd rather be persuing. Duckula fully rejects anything to do with his ancestry, while Goosewing is actively trying to fulfil despite not enjoying it.

The Murder Brothers!

What I Wanted to Change

Haha I called them the murder brothers bc they’re crows and criminals Im actually so funny… anyway. I don’t know if I should’ve even done these guys but I really like them as antagonists so!!

I gave the younger two names and a personality. The wiki said they didn’t have names but if they do lmk and I’ll just fix that. Other than that I didn’t change much except try to give ‘em a bit more depth and changing their physical designs a ton for fun.

Character Traits

The Murder Brothers, as a whole, are a tight knit family of con men crows who pull any grift they can to get their hands on some cash. Though they may act like their only loyalty in life is to money, they do genuinely care about each other's well being

Ruffles

Ruffles is the short tempered and eldest leader of the group. He’s constantly frustrated with his brothers’ incompetence and isn't quiet about it. He believes that if it weren't for them he'd probably be a lot further in life by now (which isn't true) and he’ll say he doesn't care about them, but he actually does.

Burt

If he didn't insist on helping his brothers, Burt would be the most likely to be living an honest life. As the second oldest sibling, Burt holds a position as right hand man. He’s a naturally kind and enthusiastic bird who, while a bit dumb, does openly express his love for his brothers. He takes on a lot of the abuse from his older brother and is often used by the group to talk to others, because he's so naturally trustworthy.

Reggie

Reggie is the second youngest of the brothers and the most relaxed out of all of them. He has an impeccable sleight of hand and is the go to for lockpicking and such. He’s a decent smooth talker and is often the one to break up fights, though he's not above getting angry at the others himself.

Leroy

Leroy is the youngest of the brothers and by far the least skilled. His speech is incomprehensible from under his mask (although he can see through it for the most part) and he’s often left with the worst jobs during their cons because of that. He’s the most timid out of all of them but I’m sure if you took that mask off of him he’d be really talkative.

—————————————————

Ending Words

Well that’s all I got! I spent way too long on this project that maybe two people will care about and one of them is me 💔 Anyway if I make anything else for this rewrite/au I’ll tag it with #wbcd . I wouldn’t count on it because I mighttt get burn out from this but im just so glad I finished it! I’ve thought about writing a pilot script just for fun but idk. I’d like to do more long format au stuff, I was going to make a YouTube video about this but I almost cried trying to record myself so I gave up 💔

[copperbadge]

Every so often I get an Anon ask where I'm not entirely comfortable responding in public with no cut or warnings ahead of the text -- it's not that anything inappropriate is being said, it's just sometimes the subject matter's a little rough. This is one of those, so I decided to copy and paste it and put it behind a cut; warnings for discussion of abuse and fraught familial situations.

You've spoken about having ADHD before, and i was wondering if you have any links to websites with resources for adults with ADHD that are more than the very generic "stay organised!", "eat healthily!", "avoid distractions!" things? like, something that explains ADHD and WHY getting organised is good, maybe? or how ADHD may intersect with anxiety? my mother finally went to a doctor and got (as i expected) an ADHD diagnosis, but the doctor told her medication wouldn't give her much at this point, which is fine, but she's just kept going as usual for her, which is not.

she has ignored everything i've told her before (like, to think ahead and prioritise, to make plans, to make lists, that she has to be systematic about it, to stay calm because if she has a plan everything should be done on time) but she ignores me. she just starts doing whatever, whenever, and then getting annoyed/anxious that "nothing" is done, and then she starts yelling at me.

i just want her to realise she MUST at least attempt to be organised, and that it's not just for work stuff, it's for everything, including every day stuff like chores. (also, i'd like to stop being yelled at. like, some of my first memories are of getting yelled at. it's been years and years of regular bouts of screaming. now i know it's her and not me, and i'd. like it to stop)

i apologize for the huge ask/rant, but yeah, do you know of any resources that explain the importance of being organised? i think if i show her something 'official' maybe she'll start doing it. or do you have any personal tips for talking to her about it? or a book about someone's experience with ADHD? anything. anything at all.

So there is...much to unpack here, as the kids say, both in terms of what you are asking directly and what you are not asking but what I'm going to address anyway. I don't have any great resources for what you're looking for, because neurodiversity comes in a lot of shapes and sizes even within a single diagnosis, and as you likely know I'm a big proponent of doing-what-works, and that's something a person has to figure out for themselves. A lot of people seem to find ADDitude very relatable and they are informative, but that's probably the best general resource out there to go deeper than surface, and a good place for her to start reading if she wants to.

But the real problem, Anon, is that she's never going to listen to you.

That seems like a real bold statement, but it is also extremely likely to be true. Most people who get a diagnosis start to work on themselves and learn more about their unique neurology; it's clear she's not going to do that, and you can't make her. I'm sure some of it is that she's been told her entire life, by people with much more power over her than you, to do those things: be organized, make lists, have a plan. They are the hardest things for people with ADHD to do, and she can't simply whip herself through them, and so she learned long ago to ignore anyone saying anything about it. Medication could help with that a lot, actually, so your mother's doctor really fucked you both by telling her it wouldn't do anything for her; whether she's taken that as permission to ignore the problem or whether she just believed him, he did a really shitty thing in doing that.

Your mother is neurologically incapable of forcing herself to do many things that neurotypical people find easy. There are workarounds, yes; some of us do extremely well if we decide that EVERYTHING has to be planned, and behave accordingly. Some of us find stopgaps. But that has to be a decision she makes, to find workarounds for herself. It's not something you can offer her with helpful websites or books, because she is also likely very deep in shame about it, to judge from her other behaviors. That's not your fault, which means it's also not your job to fix it.

And here's the other problem: you are in an abusive home situation where your mother is taking out her frustration with her mental illness by hurting you.

And that really really sucks and I'm really, really sorry. But the screaming-at-you, which absolutely should not be happening, is a result of decades of frustration at the world that won't accommodate her, combined with an inability to regulate her emotions. Unless she is medicated or learns better regulation or at least picks a different target, it's not going to stop. That's not your fault either. Some of it isn't even her fault. (Some of it is; mental illness is not our choice but it is our responsibility, and she is not behaving as either an adult or a parent should in abusing you because she can't find somewhere else to put all her emotions.)

Presumably you are either too young to leave or can't afford to, but the best possible thing you can do for yourself is get out as soon as you can, sever yourself from her financially, and then decide what level of interaction you want with her going forward. Honestly, may be the best thing for her as well, to realize that if she doesn't make a change, she will lose access to her child.

I realize that is almost certainly not immediately possible, however. Do not leave if you are going to a less safe situation, either. Be smart and strategic -- make your plans and prepare as much as possible ahead of time.

"So in the meantime, Sam, what the fuck am I supposed to do?"

Bearing in mind that we are going to assume you cannot help your mother, as she either doesn't want help or is in denial or both, the best thing you can do if you can't get out is to shore yourself up: remind yourself as regularly as possible that none of this is your fault, and do your best to protect yourself both emotionally and physically. IE, if she's not organized enough to buy groceries or cook, do what you can to make sure you are regularly fed -- do not concern yourself with whether she eats. That's her responsibility, she's a grownup. If you are likely to be yelled at for this -- well, she was always going to yell at you about something; it might as well be as a result of you caring for yourself first. As much as you can, spend time away from her if possible.

Given her past behavior, especially if you are an only child or oldest sibling, you may already be de-facto head of household; this may be simply a process of assuming actively that she can't fulfill that role, and doing what you can to care for yourself and any siblings. If you have other family who understand the situation, I strongly suggest tapping them for help. As much as you can, reach out to adults in your life you trust, and get their help in caring for yourself and your family without needing to depend on her for support.

I don't wish to stigmatize mental illness or addiction but living with someone in denial about the impact of their mental health on those around them is exactly like living with an addict: the best strategy is to expect nothing from them, remind yourself often that you are not to blame for this situation, look out for yourself first and foremost, and get out once you can. I'm really sorry it has to be that way, because it shouldn't be. But I'm concerned with you, not with her, and if you want to build a better life for yourself, it's going to have to be one that doesn't depend on you being able to change someone else.

I'm afraid I don't have a lot of books for you about that, either. I wish you all the luck -- you shouldn't need it, but unfortunately sometimes we still do.

[whynotjohnlock]

Doctor x ADHD reader

^ My mental state at any given time when anyone asks about what happened yesterday.

Warnings: fluff, It might be a tad long, Grammar mistakes, you may feel slightly offended if you're a nerotipical person, the author wrote this because they didn't want to sleep and needed comfort.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You'd forgotten something again. Was it about your job? Your family? Your friends you hadn't kept up with because you had misremembered the dates for? That one hyper fixation that you had today?

Nothing matched. Your brain was screaming at you for the time you wasted rethinking about what you had forgotten; but nothing came to mind.

A normal day then.

Then, as a distraction from your thoghts a high tech laser blaster thing punched through a brick wall and you started running for your life. Again.

There were alien pepper shaker robots with plungers. Why where they just repeating themselves over and over? Was that just how they spoke, or was there more to it? Was it nessasary to the way they shot lasers?

"Exterminate! Exterminate!" A laser jolted and swished right next to you.

"Right, I have to run."

And run.

And run.

And run. Except, now you had to not crash onto the person-

To late.

"Oh, hello humans! Is this your way of saying hello? Did I miss a decade?"

You reluctanly graped the strange man's hand. You were not fazed by the oddness in the queston; your thoghts were stranger. "I don't think so. It's just the fact that there are alien pepper shakers with plungers after us."

The man's face darkened, his youthful peesona flown out the window. "Where?"

You knew that the police would be of no help and the sadness in this man's eyes seemed to be familiar. "Can you help us if I tell you?"

"Short answer: Most likely."

"Now witch way?"

The question prompted eternal panic. Witch way was left? You couldn't remember. Were you facing north or south? You couldn't just point in a direction, because you had run in a extremely non-linear way.

Words had never been an accurate source of communication for you. Why were you this way? Well, you knew why; you had been diagnosed with ADHD, but that didn't answer your question. Why did you always forget the things you wanted to remember most? The strange man looked rather inpatient at your mental sputtering. You had to do something! So, you did the only thing you could think of at the time. Quickly you grabbed his outstretched hand and ran, guiding him though the chaotic path you had taken.

Your mind had not managed to retain much running for your life, but your feet did.

 ...Pass the blue house. 

...Turning 90 degrees at the broken stop sign. 

...Jaywalking around the stopped cars in the street.

...Turning again after the nameless black dog.

...Though a corporate building.

…And to the familiar building with the tin tanks.

your hand still fully clasped with this stranger you had just met, you spoke in between panting and gasping for air. "This is it. These are the alien metal tank creatures."

As if on cue, the screams not even across the blook started up again and an army of daleks (Not that you knew what they were called at the time) turned into view.

The madman lurched forward in outrage much like a predator looming in on their prey. He was unnerving. "Alright listen up! I am the Doctor, and you are the daleks! You have no right to this world, and It’s protected by none other than me. And you have made a grave mistake messing with me when I don’t have a companion, or anyone to holding me back. Leave before I run out of mercy."

"THE DOCTOR IS UNARMED. WE WILL DO NO SUCH THING."

EXTERMINATE!

A laser shot from the thingy that would have hit the silly man instead wiped by him as I pulled him into a run again.

Hiding behind a dumpster in an abandoned alley the Doctor fiddled around with a metal glowy stick and welded something together from his pockets quickly. "What are you doing?"

"No time to explain, get me some sort of electrical circuit board!"

"Will my phone work?"

Wordlessly the Doctor takes my phone, prys it from it's cashing, snaps it in half, and conects it to a very peculiar looking device.

EXTERMINATE!

The Daleks find us again but this time we don't run. The Doctor chucks the machine at the invasion party they aim towards us ready to end us.

EXTER-

The Doctor aims his tech stick toward the sky causing his device to activate. The result is instantaneous. Every dalek that was in front of us and firing ends up blowing up in several malformed chunks.

More daleks screech out words as they approach us. "EXPLAIN! EXPLAIN!"

"Ha! I've rerouted the your primary weapon to your self-distruct sequence by changing the commands signals! The doctor is never helpless unarmed, you lot should know that by now."

"RETREAT! RETREAT!"

The Daleks start to be enveloped by an otherworldly white glow and disappear all at once.

The mad man seems to return to an upbeat face and seems to slip his mask back on seamlessly as if the darkness never touched his eyes. He looked again to be a harmless Nerodiverrgent, clumsy and meek as if he hadn't just felled a armada of aliens ready to destroy the earth. he muttered under his breath about inter-galactic law, blissfully unaware of all the odd looks his direction who believed him insane.

It reminded you of the mask you had to put up for all the "Normal" people in your life. How many times had you stopped being every thing you were just for a brief connection?

"Hello, I think introductions are in order! what did you say your name was?"

You plunged back into the real world from your thoghts. "Y/N."

"Well, Y/N, you seem awfully calm considering your planet was just invaded."

"I could say the same thing about you. Also how did you do all that? Are you even human?"

"I'm the Doctor." The man enthusiasticly spoke as if that explained the anomalys of the day.

"Is the your last name or did you just have mean parents that named you Doctor?"

"I'm not human, and it's common for my species to have titles we choose for names."

"Right. I suppose another alien species isn't the weirdest thing that's happened today."

The Doctor broke out into a brilliant little grin. And reached into his coat pocket to grab a little black wallet thing. "Hold on I want to see if I'm right real quick. What's on this paper?"

"Um, It's blank?" I don't think I was catching whatever the silly man wanted me to see.

"You are clever! I knew it! And I do need a companion after...." The Doctor pauses in sorrow and pain.

"Y/N, how would you like to come with me?"

"Um, do you travel or something?"

"Oh, I forgot to mention it, haven't I? I go to lots and lots of different places and meet all sorts of aliens all the time. I hope you know most of them aren't like the Daleks. Millions of planets and galaxys and pulsars and planets up in the sky, one day I'll see them all."

It took a while to comprehend what silly man had just said. You adored the stars. And now this man you'd just met had really just asked you to go with him to see and go to places humans wouldn't go for maybe billions of years!? To boldy go were no one has gone before? (I'm an unapologetically ing references and I'm not sorry.) Was this heaven? Had you died in the Dalek attack?

"That sounds utterly fantastic! You're sure you want someone like me?"

"What are you talking about? You just saved my life and were fearless in the face of a world ending threat. If course I want someone like you."

"I just, usually people don't like the way I think."

The Doctor almost seemed offended. "Do I look like a usual person?"

"Good point."

I looked down in slight embarrassment for bringing it up.

"Hey look at me." The Doctor softly grabbed my shoulder and I tilted my face up to meet his sincere eyes.

"You know what I've found in my nine hundred years of life? I found out the people who get called Quiet or shy have the most interesting thoughts. I found out that the loneliest people end up being the kindest, that the people with disabilities have so much more grit and determination than the people that don't, that the people called slow are the most brilliant when they're done analyzing. that the so called freaks and weirdos of the world are twice as clever and twice as kind."

"Do you know why?" I was near tears and shook my head.

"Because people like you and me have to work twice as hard only to get half as far. We have strength, far beyond that the average eye can see because we're trying to make up for faults by working twice as hard. Our struggles make us more resilient, more creative, and better people. We take it apon ourselves to attempt to appear normal in an attempt to make connections, when in really they should be the ones understanding us."

"You humans are so silly we it comes to different ways of thinking. On gallifrey, you'd be celebrated, not punished for what you call a quote 'disorder'."

I hugged him. I hugged him harder and tighter than any stranger I'd ever hugged before.

Tears. Happy tears flew down my cheek. I loved this stranger, not for his looks or wacky demeanor.

But because there is that silly man's arms I knew again what it felt like to be understood.

We were standing in a world of unknowns, at top a street that had just been invaded but I knew one thing:

"I want to travel with you, Doctor."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A/N: I'm sorry if you personally don't feel represented in the way I wrote (Y/N) having ADHD and ADD, but I want you to know that I'm only trying to share my experiences as I myself have been diagnosed. I don't want to shame anyone that shares my experiences; just bring them into the light.

[2hoothoots]

So I was going through your blog (again) and found some of your stuff mentions fsau Raz having ADHD, as somebody with adhd I’m intrigued, may I have some of those headcanons (canons??) related to that? Also, I would give “a penny for your thoughts” but I’m out of pennies, so here’s various images of a drawing of ur blorbo I put next to my animals, note that a rock had to be added in one picture to keep him from flying away (BONUS: his now permanent place with the wifi guardian frog)

NOTHING brings me more joy than seeing physical drawings of these guys, like, out and about. in situations. thank you for this gift, and ALSO for the great ask because it's a perfect chance to ramble

so first of all, canon Raz having ADHD is very real to me. he's constantly fidgeting and moving around, getting distracted by sidequests and scavenger hunt objectives, always talking to himself out loud, gotta write everything down so he remembers it because there's so much to DO!, running away from home because his dad yelled at him one time and now Raz assumes he must hate him forever... i could go on, but i think there's a lot of room for interpretation there!

in my headcanon, he never got diagnosed as a kid. maybe there were some notes about it in his reports each year, sure - but a little hyperactivity and distractability never seemed to slow him down. he excelled in lessons and on missions, and when he was with his family their performances gave him something to focus that energy into. it was only really when he turned 18 and graduated to a full agent that the cracks started to show.

because there's a big difference between the responsibilities you have as a minor, and the responsibilities you have as an 18-year-old living away from home! one who's expected to cook and clean for themselves, and take care of adult life stuff, and also work the 9-to-5 office job he's just graduated into that involves sitting in front of a computer and write reports all day.

short-term, he found he could get himself to power through a deadline with energy drinks and psi-pops (a lot of psi-pops...)

long-term, something had to give. he was working himself to exhaustion, constantly stressed, swinging between days spent staring at his computer screen doing nothing and all-nighters desperately trying to finish his paperwork before the deadline. it just didn't make any sense to him. he'd finally started his job as a Psychonaut, he was living independently like he'd always dreamed, he'd gotten top surgery after planning it for so long. he should have everything he ever wanted. why wasn't he happy?

following a deep post-surgical depression, about a month before his 19th birthday Raz was living out of his car, couch-surfing or sleeping in his office. he got kicked out of his apartment after falling behind on bills and rent. it wasn't that he didn't have the money, it was all just too much for him to stay on top of.

he'd probably have stayed in that misery hole for a lot longer if Frazie hadn't marched into his life and demanded he let her help him move into a new place, or she was telling mom that he was homeless. together, they sorted through all of his possessions from the last place - everything that had been hastily shoved in his car, or tossed in a box in his office, piled in a heap that was giving him anxiety even looking at it.

things do get better for him from there.

when he eventually explains things to Hollis, she gently suggests that he should get a roommate. he ends up moving in with Phoebe, and they become pretty good friends after a couple months! something about having another person around to help do the chores and wash the dishes and share the space helps, even if it takes him a while to admit it.

he gets his ADHD diagnosis, and finding the exact right medication and dose is a journey he's still on years later - but they're a huge help in getting him to actually knuckle down and finish his work on time. and the whole thing ends up being a chance for him to take a step back and really think about what he wants to do with his life. he'd always assumed that being a Psychonaut was his dream, but he'd never really reckoned with what that dream would look like before.

in the end, he sticks with it, but also decides to follow Lili's example in branching out. he applies to study a part-time Bachelor's in Psychology on a remote course, and gets accepted. juggling missions and paperwork and study and relationships (because the whole thing made him realise he also wasn't setting aside any time for himself, and wow, dating is a thing) is a lot - but he manages to figure it out, day by day.

(Lili comes back to the Psychonauts after graduating. she and Raz have both changed a lot over those four years, but on their first mission together they hit it off like a house on fire - and the rest is history!)

[goodlucktai]

the way things change

tmnt 2007 word count: 2k post-movie / canon compliant b team & leo-centric

this was my main piece for the @turtlestogetherzine ! it was such a fun project that so many talented people came together on and if you haven’t already you should definitely check out everyone else’s AMAZING contributions !

title borrowed from rivers and roads by the head and the heart

read on ao3

x

Donnie and Mikey have always been something of a matching set. 

During their early years, they went everywhere together. Even when Mikey was at his most irritating and Donnie seemed two seconds away from disposing of him in brutal fashion—even though the two of them could be like night and day at the best of times—they were always on each other’s team first. 

Raph used to call them ‘the twins’ because they were both his younger brothers and they were both, in his own words, tag-teaming little twerps. The twin moniker caught on and even Splinter would use it occasionally. In the back of his mind, Leo still does.

Three weeks after the dust had settled over the remains of Winter Corp, he found himself thinking, Guess some things never change. 

“Donnie, a tablet at the breakfast table?” Leo asks dryly. “Really?” 

Blatant disregard like this for one of sensei’s longest-standing rules was usually much more Raph’s speed. 

Don pauses mid-scroll and thinks for a moment. 

“Mikey, what day is it?” he says eventually.

“It’s the eleventh, dude, you’re good,” is Mikey’s distracted reply. 

He’s making a game out of pouring as much cereal into his bowl as it will physically hold, which has amounted to a sizable mound of off-brand Lucky Charms. Leo is reluctantly curious to see what he’s going to do when he remembers he still needs to add milk. 

Donnie, for his part, immediately goes back to ignoring the rest of them as a whole. 

Raph puts his spoon down. “Explain what just happened.”

“It’s a prime number day,” Mikey says blithely, without looking up from the careful, exacting process of shaking another couple of marshmallow pieces out of the box. “Prime means primo screen-time.” 

Splinter is sipping his tea without refuting Mikey’s explanation, so that must be a thing now. Leo blinks, processing this. He can’t help remembering how it was before he went away, the strict ‘no electronics at the table’ policy, because mealtimes were family times. 

Raph directs his confusion down a different route. “Mike knows what prime numbers are? Since when?”

Donnie looks up from his tablet to angle a narrow look Raph’s way. His warm brown eyes are markedly cooler than before. He clearly didn’t appreciate the joke. 

He’s never been one to pick fights with his siblings. The Donatello Leo knows is a gentle soul, every bit as deadly as the rest of his family, but more inclined to mediate disputes than start one himself. 

So the last thing Leonardo expects is for him to take a page out of Raph’s book at eight in the morning. 

When Mikey starts tapping and humming, Leo can't help smiling a little. It’s a sound he missed in the jungle. 

“God, I can’t even hear myself think around here,” Raph grumbles. 

To Leo’s ears, it’s not unkind. Teasing, but good-natured. Leo knows what Raphael sounds like when he’s ticked off beyond all reason—when he’s angling for a fight and determined to get one, when he’ll say anything to get Leo to punch back—and this is very much not that. 

But something darts through Mikey’s expression that makes the big brother half of Leo’s brain sit up and pay attention. Donnie notices, too. 

“He has ADHD, asshole,” he snaps. “If it bothers you that much, put on some headphones or go away.”

The atmosphere changes on a dime. Splinter’s ears go up, whiskers slicked back. Raph looks as surprised as Leo feels.

“Donnie!” Leo says, more stunned than scolding. 

Donnie puts his tablet down, not quite hard enough to constitute a slam. “Are we really going to pretend that Mikey’s stimming is more annoying than listening to Raph when he’s in one of his moods?”

“Er, no.” Leo briefly looks to Splinter for guidance before he catches himself. “I mean—it’s just the way you said it.”

“The way I said it?” Donnie demands. 

“Dee, knock it off,” Mikey interjects unhappily. “You know I hate it when you guys put me in the middle.”

It pulls Donatello up short. He visibly grits his teeth, then bites out, “Can I be excused?” 

Splinter knows when to pick his battles. It’s a lesson all of his sons could stand to learn. 

“Take your plate, please,” the rat says. 

To Donnie’s credit, he doesn’t storm down the tunnel to the lab, even though it looks like he’d like to. The reinforced door shuts behind him with a decisive clang that rings through the lair. 

Leo feels wrong-footed by the entire exchange. Somehow, in the last three minutes, a comfortable family breakfast went entirely off the rails. 

Mikey isn’t humming anymore. The kitchen feels quieter than it should. 

“Hey, I didn’t mean—” Raph starts uncertainly. 

“Don’t be dumb, I know that,” Mikey says, not looking at anyone. He tips his dry cereal back into the box and then picks at his toast until he’s moved enough of it around that his plate appears halfway finished and he’s allowed to leave the table. 

He does so at a run, booking it to the lab. The door opens right up for him. It was locked the last time Leo tried it. 

And it’s locked the next time he tries it, too, half an hour later. 

“It’s me,” Leo calls, feeling a little foolish standing out in the hall. “Can I come in?”

Donnie’s voice answers immediately. “List the first ten prime numbers and I’ll think about it.”

Okay, this is Donnie with a grudge. Leo remembers enough of what that looks like to tread carefully. 

“I just want to talk,” he says. “Is Mikey okay?”

The door unlocks and Donnie rolls it open. He gives Leo an inscrutable look before he stands back to let him in. 

Mikey is parked in a huge bean bag chair in the corner, headphones on, drawing tablet propped against his knees. His ninja senses must have pinged when Leo walked in; he glances up right on cue and offers a hang-loose sign. Leo mirrors it, entirely because he knows it’ll make Mikey snicker. 

“He’s fine,” Donnie says unnecessarily, sitting down at his desk. “We look out for each other.” 

If that’s a jab, it’s a well-aimed one. 

“Yeah, I see that,” Leo says. “Look, I’m sorry if it sounded like I took Raph’s side back there. But you know that Raph doesn’t think Mikey’s stupid. He would be the first to break somebody’s jaw for implying that.”

“So that makes it okay to say whatever he wants to a neurodivergent teenager?” Don presses, eyes flashing. “But when I say something to Raph—”

Leo can feel himself losing his patience. “Donnie, come on. All I meant was that you shouldn’t pick fights when you know better.”

As soon as he says it he knows it’s the wrong thing to say. Donnie spins his chair around to face the computer monitors, neatly severing his half of the conversation.

“Close the door behind you when you leave,” he says in a clipped tone. 

Across the room, Mikey is watching them with round eyes. He’s a few seconds from tossing his art aside and getting up to diffuse the fight. As much as he hates when his brothers put him in the middle, he has no problem putting himself there. 

It almost seems like Mikey isn’t sure if it’s safe to leave Donnie alone with this strange newcomer who looks a lot like the big brother who left them all behind. 

Leo breathes through the sharp pain that brings him and thinks, Fix this. 

He draws another chair over and sits down. Donnie’s shoulders go stiff but he doesn’t react otherwise. 

“Sorry,” Leo says quietly. 

It takes a minute but eventually Donnie nods, brown eyes full and troubled. 

“Me too,” he replies. “I know I’m being difficult. I’m just—I feel so angry all the time.”

Donnie isn’t Raph. He never had any problem with Leo’s authority. He had his own parts to play on the team, parts he took pride in—doctor, scientist, engineer. He was relieved to hand back that mantle of leadership, to step back into his curated role, but that doesn’t mean everything just returns to the way it was.

Donatello still resents his big brothers for abandoning him, each in their own way. He’s still bitter about all the extra weight he had to carry, without thanks or credit. He’s been stuck in place for the last two years, no outlet, no time for himself, and nobody on his team but Mikey, the one person Donnie has always been directly responsible for and could never bring himself to burden. He picked up an I.T. job he hated and stuck with it for longer than he should have, because he wouldn’t know how to quit something halfway if his life depended on it. His typically strong relationship with Raph—one that Leo’s secretly envied since they were kids—soured and left him without their hothead’s support. He had to figure out how to be a grown-up at the tender age of sixteen. 

Then Leo came back, expecting everything to be exactly how he left it. 

Of course Donnie’s angry. It’s no wonder he’s picking fights left and right. 

“You’re not being difficult, Don,” Leo says immediately, wishing, not for the first time, that Splinter had never sent him away. “If you want to scream and throw things at me, I think that would probably be more than fair.”

“I don’t want to do any of that,” Donnie replies wryly. He swivels his chair slightly, facing Leo again. There’s something grudgingly hopeful about him now—Leo’s little brother, trying to remember how to put his faith in Leo’s hands. 

It’s such a precious thing to hold. Leo can’t screw this up again. 

“You’ve worked out a pretty solid system while I was gone,” he says, bumping Donnie’s shoulder with his fist. “Can you show me the ropes?”

Give Donnie a chance to teach and he shines. Sure enough, he brightens a little. 

“We help April with acquisitions for her antique store on Thursdays. Do you want to come?” 

Leo heard about that from April. Apparently it’s more of a game than a chore, a city-wide scavenger hunt. He was hoping for an invitation but he wasn’t expecting one. He feels himself smile. 

Mikey, who has clearly been listening in, lowers his headphones and asks, “All four of us?”

That brings Donnie up short. Leo jumps in. 

“I told Raph I wanted us to do a team-building exercise sometime soon, and he said he’d be down for anything, as long as you two promised to go easy on him.” 

That’s exactly what he said, too—only he’d added, gruffly affectionate, ‘those tag-teaming little twerps.’ 

“Sound good?” Leo asks them warmly. 

Mikey beams. Donnie’s disagreeable outer shell begins to soften. By some miracle, Leo still knows how to do this. Two years wasn’t enough to overshadow a lifetime. 

It’s a privilege to sit in the lab, watching Donnie bring up files on his latest project, listening attentively to engineering and mechanics that go clean over his head. Mikey joins them at the desk and shows Leo the digital painting he’s been working on, chattering energetically about watercolor and composition and the new brush he’s obsessed with. 

Raph wanders in some time later with an apology in hand—drinks from the twins’ favorite coffee shop. He probably left right after breakfast to be back already. 

Donnie smiles after the first sip. Raph must have got it exactly right.

Leo lets his tea warm his hands and soaks up their company the way regular turtles bask in sunlight. 

Donnie and Mikey built a house in the empty space their brothers left behind. The door isn’t always open, but Leo and Raph can always knock. Maybe they could even live there together someday, once they remember how to be on each other’s team. 

Until then, Leo is willing to put in the work. It’s what he’s always done. 

He’ll do whatever it takes to get back home.