#FUCKING USE THE LABELING SYSTEM
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Im just really annoyed about how people just fucking hate it when the kids they were jealous of and hated in school for not also getting bad grades also report being fucking traumatized by the school system.
Yeah sorry school traumatizes everyone, even the 'ex-gifted kids' you fucking hate because god forbid someone wasnt exploited and overworked the same way you were.
Sorry a group of predominately neurodiverse people experiencing burnout and how their upbringing of being only valued for their academic performance totally fucked their ability to function in the real world dare talk about this pain where you can see.
Its not being privileged and ~humblebragging~ to report emotional neglect from your parents centered around you having to get perfect grades to receive any scrap of love.
Wishing violence on them for talking about it and finding each other isn't cute either.
And because these people need it stated extra clear
This post is NOT saying other groups of people 'had it less bad'. This is about a specific phenomenon of vitriol towards a oft neurodiverse group of people commiserating about how they were screwed over by the system under the label 'gifted kid' NOT whatever else you are imagining im saying. <3
#clown on this post and get blocked#dismissing abuse reports because you think the people being screwed over by the system differently threaten you somehow is wrong sorry <3#rebloggable but if it breaches containment too hard I might lock it to avoid the piss on the poor crowd#these ppl do not realize part of the point of 'ex gifted kid' is the fact that the label WAS bunk & was just used as an excuse to abuse us!#thats literally half of the talk & theory! We were just normal kids!!! Thats the fucking point!! Its not being elitist its the opposite!!#blocked and unfollowed 3 different people for threats of violence towards anyone who identifies with 'ex gifted kid' which inspired this
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If you ascribe to the theory of structural dissociation (I don't, but there are some parts that sound perhaps correct, like this one), then you think that all brains start out with no integrated "self" (i.e. plural) and DID happens when childhood trauma prevents the early headmates from fusing into one person. Sooooooo... genuine question. Wouldnt that make all systems that formed this way technically endogenic?? Maybe a lot of alters were formed due to trauma, but the system as a whole wasnt, it was just affected by it.
Just to be abundantly clear in case the plural tags weren't already, I am not looking to hear from anti endos.
#this is part of why i dont like to use origin labels#like 1. how do you even know that.#2. does it really matter? i kinda just set that information down in the trash can as soon as i see it#because idrc what someone's origin is and it wont tell me if i can actually find commonality in our experiences#and in a culture where a bunch of people are hostile to people using a certain label and also really want to sniff out ppl using that label#i think its important that some people refuse to publicly identify one way or another#make ppl get used to You Don't Get To Fucking Know#similarly to how we dont disclose whether any disorders we have are professionally dxed or self dxed#because it doesnt matter and if it would change your perception of me then you can trot on along#anyway no problem with other systems disclosing origin status ofc#its just not important to me so i dont but other ppl may find the labels important in ways i dont and thats okay#rubber duck quacks#pluralgang#actually plural#plural#plural system#plural community#plurality
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reading a webpage titled 'am i plural' with big impressions of middle fingers in my mind. i go my own way i don't fit the #mold come on blathnaid we can do our own thang
#^ guy who used to agonise over fitting into labels#so now im like FUCK IT! whatever happens happens#current situation is me eimear i am a guy. and in my brain theres another person called blathnaid#and she doesnt front or anything i dont think. shes just kinda there#so im gonna let her hang out#like a lot of guides to plurality are (understandably) focused on being multiple people#and switching and memory barriers and stuff#whereas like i me i am always one person. its just that person happens to have a roommate#fuck it we ball im gonna stop thinking about it bcos its giving me a headache#(yeah i know thats a thinggggg i was in a server w a bunch of newly-realized systems once so i have their experiences to go off of)#and i should probably get back to my fuckingggg esssay
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slowly I'm recovering the beauty of discovery
(creature by half•alive)
(textless + timelapse below cut)
#yellowart#subnautica#i feel like the timelapse is kinda long but also this did take a long time to make#anyways. let me yap about the meanings of all the panels <3#'i am creation' -> the ocean being the source of life and where shit evolved from also a good way to sort of 'set the scene' for subnautica#'both haunted' -> GHOST leviathan; in the BONE fields#'and holy' -> this one was a bit trickier. debated about using the emperor but i knew i wanted to use her elsewhere#also debated hoverfish because its cute and well liked so i thought that would be funny for 'and holy'#also something something jesus walking on water also makes it fitting. in the end though i decided on a peeper with the enzyme trail#and i *tried* to make it loop over its head like a halo but idk how well that imagery came through. still mentioned it in the alt text tho.#'made in glory' -> was REALLY torn about this one. on the one hand i wanted to have like a picture of the code because something something#divine machine and it being made out of code making it inherently holy or something; but i wasnt sure if that would be too#'immersion breaking' since most of the stuff in this is like in game stuff i wasnt sure if acknowledging that it was a game would be#too much. my other idea was to draw a couple of creature eggs like a stalker egg and a spadefish egg or something; but in the end i just#went with the one that i personally thought was cooler so if you think it does feel out of place uhhhh sorry i guess lmao.#also yes that is code from the game. idk shit about programming i just think code shit is cool so i poked though a modding tutorial til i#found what it is they use to look at that shit and started poking around. its pretty cool tbh. anyways the specific part i chose for the#drawing was something under the peepers; i think its the bit that tells the enzyme peepers to do the enzyme stuff like the trail obviously#but also some other stuff. not 100% sure though like i said idk shit about this sort of thing but everything in there seems pretty well#labeled its kinda impressive. and very helpful for navigating even if you dont know shit lol.#anyways. 'even the depths of the night cannot blind me' -> blood kelp trench is i think one of the darkest biomes in the game#possibly THE darkest so i thought it would be fitting. probably my least favorite panel though i dont think i did a very good job#representing the area or representing the bloodvines :/#'when you guide me' -> sea emperor but more specifically her messages to the player telling you to 'come here'#'creature only' -> not sure how well i can articulate this but basically the idea of humans beig animals with animal needs to eat and drink#and the idea of being a part of the ecosystem. modern life tends to make us forget that sort of thing but id imagine for ryley being on the#planet would violently remind him of this with things trying to eat him while he has to try to eat things as well. being part of the food#web. 'creature only' because he is only a creature not non-essential systems maintenance chief; but a creature living in an environment and#trying to survive. or something like that. does that make any fucking sense to anyone besides me? whatever.#anyways yapping over 👍
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Every time I look at the Tengwar table I feel like
screaming a little bit
apologizing to Tolkien that I only had time to take Linguistics 101
(but in my defense, that was because I was too busy taking 800 other language classes)
#me: [gritting my teeth] surely there is a fanmade chart out here with them labeled in IPA#tolkien from beyond the grave as i open appendix e: you fucking donkey. did you think it would be that easy. i accounted for this.#it's a modular system used for multiple languages. first choose one of my many fake languages and THEN git gud.#me: [sobbing] please i just wanted to fuck around in a notebook. let me butcher this like i butcher futhark in peace#tolkien: [isildur-NO.gif]#lotr
![#tolkien: [isildur-NO.gif]](/tag/tolkien%3A%20%5Bisildur-NO.gif%5D){kind=link}
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last years pride i had a sexuality crisis and this year a few days later im having a gender one. fuck.
#i was shaking celia/muro for what tf their gender is and all i got was#“its almost impossible to see who you are separate from how peoples perceptions feel and how they link to the systems that govern our lives#yay thanks as if i didn't already know that how femininity is punished has shaped me as constantly presenting masculine#maybe i am just a coward whos pretending to be trans to escape the awfulness that comes with being feminine#I DONT KNOW ANYMORE#i hate being seen as female but i only feel better when seen as a man- not truly happy#but its not like im ever seen as a real one#i enjoy pride because then my gender and presentation are just *queer* and i dont need to worry about boxes#i just want to be me!#this whole gender thing can kinda suck#im crow! thats all that should fucking matter!#not whatever box people try and fit me in#i guess i just gotta be used to not fitting into any box or label and having imposter syndrome for the only one that does: transgender#idk i kinda want to be in a box but it always ends up distressing me whenever i try#sorry to put this on peoples dashes#i just dont know and its stressing me out#im not a woman and i am more comfortable being seen as a man but thats *comfort* not really genuine joy#im a not-woman#i dont fucking know!!#i need to stop trying to figure it out bc of how distressing it is but here i go again...
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i hate reblogging something and getting excited to look thru their blog cus fheir stuff is cool,
and then i get blasted with the anti endo beam??
like. sorry ig????
im not changing my stance just cuz i thought someone seemed cool, unforch
#anyway this is really nothing in the scheme of things.#i think syscourse is fucking stupid <3#theres bigger problems to worry about than infighting. idk.#idk it feels the same as the infighting of the queer community.#can we save the infighting to when we arent nasty stigmatized and. idk. locked in rooms and yelled at to integrate but i mean#what do I know. im just a dirty endo supporter i guess.#idk.#i think everyones valid as long as they arent malicious about it.#“oh i hate endos cuz theyre abusive”;×=[#wrong. youre generalizing. you can be abused just as bad by a traumagenic system as you can by an endogenic system.#also i dont think everyone should have to 1000% know their systems origins forever and always to be seen as “valid” in someone else's eyes.#idk tho thats just my thoughs maybe im just a dirty fool <3#wilburs post#before you start calling us an endo or whatever as an insult or something. were absolutely traumagenic. and i think the labels are stupid#and only useful in a therapy setting. or for self work.#sorry im apparently Not done ranting.#i think proudly flaunting that you exist due to trauma is foolish. despite me clarifying.#people are going to be malicious. people are going to be mean and find your trauma just to rub it in your face.#ig the lables are okay for finding similar lived experiences too but. man.#shut up stop fighting people youre in the same boat with
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Hmm it's almost like gender is a construct so getting into minutia arguments about microlabels is a complete fucking waste of time and an expression of extreme ignorance. almost like the million different ways queerness has been expressed all contradicting eachother for hundreds of years is for a reason and they all equally have important things to say about HUMAN EXPRESSION
#it's almost like gender isn't real guys#it's almost like a gender system of rigid labels and is ontologically and biologically fucking ridiculously#I'm so sorry but asexuality and bi lesbians and gold stars and guy dudes and bi women who have only been with women#they're all the same they're all human#and I don't give a FUUUUUUCK#all I know is respecting individuals and how they'd prefer to be interacted with#bc I love people and want friends who know I see them and hear them#crazy#guys I found the secret to ontological purity and it all has to do with the split attraction model#/j#shoutout to the Magnus archives mutual I had who blocked and black listed me bc I said I was a gender abolitionist#and they confused that with gender criticalism#how do I say this#yes straight ppl are different but I legit do not believe in 'straight ppl'#gender and sexuality are not something different from any other emotion or human action#and as such WHAY a queer community should be based on is not purity of who is oppressed#or like. who is Actually Gay And Different#but a rejection of the oppressive structure that seperates us#and anyone who rejects that structure in any way is welcome#in my book#dialectical material queer theory
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sigh. my mum is talking about how she recognises that both me and my little brother are mentally ill but she's apparently been "protecting us from labels how she wasn't" (because that's "all that society wants to give kids nowadays") and she wants us to just "get on with life and be who we are"
#alina post#alina rant#i have practically begged doctors to diagnose me with the depression ive been recognised to have so i can receive genuine help#my brother and i both have autistic traits and i always wish he could get diagnosed so he could have accomodations and answers#there is undeniable systemic ableism that impacts those with mental health conditions in the uk#and i understand that that is something that could have great detriment to her if her diagnosis was revealed in some circumstances#but why do we need to suffer by ourselves without any help because SHE doesnt like labels#not to mention that a lot of our mental illness is influenced by the generational trauma and general trauma SHE and my dad inflicted upon us#once a teacher even tried to suggest that my brother was autistic and she said it was the school forcing labels for 'funding'??#the uk is so systemically ableist and most schools would probably rather die than actually accomodate their students beyond the bare minimum#the most he'd get is probably extra time in exams and maybe a card to let him leave overwhelming classrooms#im just so upset#i always knew that she hated the thought of me or my brother ever actually getting diagnoses and help... but 'protecting us'?#my depression has fucked me over so much growing up with bare minimum support. why dont i deserve help.
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hi i am luisa or louie, any pronouns, 20+
nicemices on ao3
i'm working on a longer wiseflower fic atm, if you want to come chat to me about it, i would be ecstatic! (you can check it out here)
other interests include: buffy the vampire slayer (my all time favourite!!!), arcane, the locked tomb series!!!, anything lesbian, disco elysium, (story based) video games in general, horror, crochet, sourdough, the sims 2/3, vampires in general, mermaids
come say hi :)
#long overdue intro post#i have a tagging system too#jeez luise#is for all my own posts#and um#yeah the rest just goes on the labelled shelf hehe#anyway hi!!#i don't use my queue#yet#and i believe the day will come where i will make my blog pretty#obligatory fuck jkr#i hope that woman chokes
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#i got on desktop just specifically#because i was going to add self insert y/n fics to my tumblr filter#because the tag i went in was just fucking filled to the brim with them#but the problem!!!! is that like every person in that tag is just!!!#labeling all the x reader SHIPS and no one is using just like#any of the general tags i usually expect them to#anyways my block list is about to get exponentially bigger#dont mind me im jist bitching#ao3 you have your problems but i love your tagging system and i love being able to sort authors i dont like out#youre so sexy
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I was looking at the computer science curriculum for 1st year comp sci at my university and as a bioinformatics student the comparison is insane. Ppl who have choose comp sci for their degree have like 4 months to learn how python works where we have 1. They are not taught 4 programming languages per year. They are allowed to acclimatise to the notion that packages exist and sometimes they contain useful functions you don't have to create yourself!
AND YET, WHEN A BIOLOGY PERSON CAN'T INSTANTLY USE PYTHON 1 MONTH INTO A BIOINFORMATICS DEGREE, WE ARE CALLED 'BAD AT PROGRAMMING' --
#personal#the tiny rule follower in my brain is like 'oh but ur doing a master's! you should be able to pick skills up fast!'#but i am still salty that all my classmates use chatgpt and i don't abs yet i was labelled 'bad at programming'#for not being able to pick up perl in a week with zero outside aid#'oh you should be able to use python seamlessly by now' you bastard. you motherfucker. i will recite pH rules to you. fuck u#i adapted to an entirely different country's education system to get a degree in a difficult subject i agreed to do for fun#AND THEN I CAME BACK TO MY COUNTRY OF ORIGIN TO DO AN EVEN MORE DIFFICULT SUBJECT. FOR FUN#i'm NOT fucking stupid. and i'm actually pretty good at programming considering my experience. fuck u#and stop insulting biologists who can't immediately apply graph theory via programming#do you know how many British ppl choose biology so they don't have to do maths past GCSE level. u r so lucky ur french
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I know several people very personally who have had it used this way and tons and tons of stories from people I don't know personally. this is just straight up how it is used. i dont really care about the on paper "intended" use of it, i care how it is put into practice and over and over. and this is how people experience it being put into practice against them. also it's obviously meant to be used that way just from the term itself. idk just say it out loud and listen to it. think about it for a second. just think.
i hate the concept of a "noncompliance" in medicine. says absolutely scathing things about the medical and psych industry that a patient not consenting is seen as a problem to push through and a problem with the patient themself rather than someone exercising their right to informed consent that SHOULD BE FUCKING RESPECTED.
#“why do you insist on the most negative view of everything” im just stating how i was abused??#idk use your brain#your experience is not universal#and paper is not the end all be all#look at how ppl actually act and listen to ppls stories#without just concluding that we're “insisting on the most negative view” when we literally describe how the system is working#the system's purpose is what it does.#the word's purpose is what it does.#just like. fuck off idk#rubber duck quacks#arguing#antipsych#psych abuse#and yes the vibe you get from the term is important because. thats the same vibe healthcare providers will get from it#idk like “ohhh its used in x way”#okay what happens after.#do you get abused. for being labeled in x way.#hint: yes#i got labeled noncompliant and they literally removed health care from me#they kicked me from their program bc i couldnt afford a thing a doctor suggested#which was separate from the program anyway#kicked for being labeled noncompliant!
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Monochrome's Intro
Dividers by CafeKitsune, Aquazero,
My name is Monochrome, I'm the main host of the system. I run our Twitch channel, Youtube channel, and Discord server. I am unsure if I am the original personality or not, but I'm basically who everybody masks as.
˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ My tags include #host #host posting #monochrome #host posting #monochrome posting #🌫️
˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ I am the original host as far as I know and am concerned
˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ Knowing I am (part of)a system makes me uncomfy sometimes
˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ My favorite colors are Purple, White, and Black
˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ I am Pansexual, Poly, Demiromantic, and a Demiboy
˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ I'm in a lot of fandoms and I think you should totally ask if I know one of yours :)
˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ I am a nonhuman alter (deity/god) but don't talk about it frequently
˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ I am also a shapeshifter so my canon design changes/alternates aspects very frequently (I will ALWAYS keep the half and half design though)
˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ I like to be cryptic for absolutely no reason
˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ I know/am learning Русский(Russian), Deutsche(German), 日本語(Japanese), and English, with English and Japanese being the ones I am best with.
˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ I am in a poly relationship with Mono of my own system and Animaty of our Psys
I look like this!! Image drawn by our psys
Boxes by Disabled Sysboxes, Sysboxes, and others I forgot
#endos dni#system#endos fuck off#endos do not interact#anti endo#monochrome#monochrome posting#host posting#host#host fronting#🌫️#lesboys dont use my shit thanks#lesboys dni#conflicting labels dni
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funny (read: irritating and sad) how pretty much everyone agrees that l*li and sh*ta stuff is weird but the moment you make it yaoi and post it on ao3 it suddenly becomes the discourse topic that we'll be forced to talk about for the next ten billion years
#i have opinions on the whole thing but they basically boil down to like#im sure it does help some people cope with their trauma i'm not here to invalidate their personal experiences#however! i think it's also normal to be upset by seeing that on a public website and it should at minimum be only accessible with an account#and if you opt in to it (i'm not talking about content that just talks about csa#ao3's labeling system is flawed in the way it doesn't distinguish between content that depicts and content that's talks about#but like. you can draw the line pretty fucking generously and there will still be a lot of stuff that isn't using it responsibly)
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the reason i dont talk as much about jjba cecio is bc he is very strongly a piss take of the 'one good pig' because he is the 'one good cop' but hes actually so much worse. hes using a mask of humor and kindness and relate-ability to help aid in murder blackmail wrongful imprisonment and all manner of massive power abuses, but because he does the bare minimum of pretending to be a 'good' person [in the right way] he gets free license to do all that and is seen as sympathetic. so actually hes not worse, hes just an average fucking pig with slight different motivations it doesn't matter if he answers to the police or criminal organizations, because the fucking pigs are their own gang just under the guise of 'upholding the law' and hes betraying his community and ruining peoples lives over and over for power either way
#thebirdspeaks#oc: cecio#essay in teh tags about crows self doubt about how well they handle mature topic and if ppl will think badly of them if they dont do it per#perfect so they dont post shit bc they r worried about the piss on the poor reading comprehension of the internet or worse#being seen as sympathetic 🤢 to cops 🤮#in 1... 2... 3...#im not spilling my personal shit#but like. i worry about sharing more of what he does bc im worried people wont understand how im writing him#bc shits subjective but im writing from my own experience with abusers and cops and just authority in general#its why hes hands down the worst of Celia & Co. they are all awful#but him especially so.#ive debated rewriting him cause its hard to write but i like how it affects his character even when its uncomfortable to write and even mor#so to share#idk. maybe i will end up just make him into a mortician or forensics guy#but like. him abusing all the ways the law is corrupt for his own goals and using all the defenses even better than the other pigs#positioning himself as the good one while making sure none else is and being the worst#is my own commentary on the joke that is the justice system. and i find it interesting#idk i think a lot of it is my personal discomfort. and i would hate to be labeled as like. 🤢 supporting pigs. in my writing#idk#this might get deleted idk i think im to sensitive to potential criticism from bad faith reading#but idk if i do handle it well or not#but then again im not a major fucking tv show let me fuck up a lil#i guess i just scrutinize how people write cops a lot#and thinking the internet has bad reading comprehension is not a baseless anxiety#eh fuck it i think i can do my lil fukcing thing#i just dont want people to see it as in poor taste#cause i worry they would be right? but like so many ppl in fandom be wilding maybe i can get a pass for maybe being a lil clumsy?
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