#FUCK YEAH I'M GOING INTO HER PALACE

[haethealhell]

so i've given in and am currently watching Mortius' reactions to Epic: The Musical

i'm at his Puppeteer reaction and it's gigi's animation and i would like to be Circe currently

she is PRETTY

DAMN

[theglassofmiddleearth]

Imagine breaking the dwarves out of the dungeons of The Woodland Realm.

Ori: "We're never gonna reach the mountain are we?" *He laments*

Bilbo: "Not stuck in here, you're not." *Jingles the keys*

Y/N appears, eating a cake?

Y/N: "Didya know they were having a feast? Bloody good food they have. And the wine! You guys want any? I think I can go-"

Balin: "Bilbo!"

*All erupt into excited chatter*

Y/N: "Wha- What am I? Chopped liver?"

*Munches angrily*

Kili: "It's okay Y/N I'll share with you!"

Fili: "Yeah, come on give us some!"

*Y/N grins and breaks the cake into three pieces.*

Bilbo: "Shh! There are guards nearby!"

*One by one they escape down to the cellar.*

Bofur: "You're suppose to be leading us OUT! Not further in!"

Bilbo: "I know what I'm doing."

Bofur: "Shh!"

Bilbo: "Into the barrels! Quickly now."

Dwalin: "Are you mad? They'll find us."

Bilbo: "No no, they won't I promise you. Please, please you must trust me"

Thorin: "Do as he says."

*They clamber in and Y/N stays out.*

Y/N: "Go Bilbo. into the barrel with Thorin quickly."

Thorin: "Y/N, what are you-"

Y/N: "I will see you at the gate."

Balin: "What gate?"

Y/N: "Hold your breath everyone."

*Y/N pulls the lever and they are all dropped into the river.*

Y/N: "Well, that was fun! Now, let's play some hide and seek shall we?"

*Y/N slips past the guards and out of the palace and up into the light. They spot the dwarves in the river and begins her run towards them*

Legolas: "Shut the gate" (in Sindarin)

Y/N: "No no! Don't do that!"

The guards look at her strangely before beginning to shut the gate.

*Y/N groans and mumbles*

Y/N: "This is gonna hurt like a bitch isn't it. Where's Tauriel when you need her. Stupid world doesn't even have her in it. Stupid movie made me think she was an actual character"

*She huffs while running towards the gate*

Y/N "ORCS! WATCH OUT!"

*A guard is stuck by an arrow.*

Y/N: "Fucks sake."

*The Orcs rampage through the top of the closed gates, persuing fights with the Elven guards.*

Bofur: "Orcs! Watch out!"

Bolg: "Slay them all" (Dark Speech)

*Y/N fires an arrow at him, striking him in the arm*

Y/N: "Take a shower, you STINK."

*Y/N runs towards the fighting dwarves.*

*Kili spots the lever to open the gate.*

Y/N: "NO, STAY PUT. DON'T MOVE KILI."

*Y/N dashes towards him while he gets up to pull the lever.*

Y/N: "NO."

*Bolg pulls out Y/N's arrow from his arm and draws his own, notching it in his bow. He aims it at Kili.*

Y/N: "KILI."

*Y/N lunges towards Kili, pushing him out of the way, the arrow strikes her through the leg. With a gasp she doubles over, clutches onto the lever and pulls it down.*

Y/N: "Ah, fuck."

A/N

For continuance sake, don't read ahead if you want to follow the normal story line. However if you wish to read this as a separate imagine read ahead!

*She gasps and struggles to stand. She bites down on her lip and forces the arrow out, snapping off the feathered end and pulling it out. Kili drags her over the edge of the gate and Y/N slips into a barrel with him below*

Kili: "Y/N! Y/N I'm so sorry I should have listened I-"

Y/N cries out in pain as they tumble down the stream, each knock jolting her wound.

Y/N: "Apologies later. Escape now."

*The company battles the Swarm of Orcs from the stream whilst drifting down the stream, aided by Legolas and his army.*

Thorin: "Anything behind us?"

Nori: "Not that I can see!"

Bofur: "I think we've out run the Orcs."

Thorin: "Not for long. We've lost the current."

Dwalin: "Bombur's half drowned."

Thorin: "Make for the shore! Come on let's go!."

Øin: "Glóin, help me brother."

Kili: "Y/N is hurt. Her leg needs binding."

Y/N Groans quietly before answering.

Y/N: "I'm fine. Not able to die, Just hurts. Better me than Kili. Orc pack on our tail, Need to..

*Y/N grits her teeth*

Need to keep moving."

Thorin: "To where? There's a lake between us and that mountain you need that rest."

Y/N: "A barge, a man will have a boat. Help me up, I'll show you the way. Let's go."

*Kili and Fili lift her up and they hobble away.*

Y/N: "I should do this more often if it means two pretty men will carry me."

Thorin: "I think not. Next time, I will carry you over my shoulder and you will have no say."

*Y/N blinks owlishly.*

[serxa]

ARGAHIEKS

I can't stop reading ur Telemachus fanfic 😭😭pls make more if you can because damn 💔aughhh 💔💔 I'm so in love with the way u write him 💔💔

Like maybe just write the story abt when Odyssseus and Penelope reunite and stuff like that and Telemachus was listening to his parents saying sweet things and then idk 💔💔

You can make it NSFW too tbh, I like how you write him (make him 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂... And make him top because he's so hot bro 😔😔 ts making me look like a 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 gooner)

Sorry if I'm asking too much 😔😔

Remember to have a good day and drink water and get some rest pooks, love ur fanfic masterpiece ❤

PAYBACK — FOURTEEN

Word count: 1.5k

Summary: After Y/n and Telemachus had an argument, Y/n decided to make Telemachus jealous by flirting with one of the suitors, and Telemachus did that same with one of the maids. Until Telemachus got fed up at the end of the day.

Pairing: Telemachus x Fem!Reader

Warnings: MDNI, Jealous sex, blowjob, controlled orgasms, choking, handcuffed(fabric), d!inp!, creampie

𝐓𝐄𝐋𝐄𝐌𝐀𝐂𝐇𝐔𝐒 𝐇𝐀𝐒 𝐁𝐄𝐄𝐍 𝐀𝐍 𝐈𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐄 𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐎𝐍 𝐋𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐋𝐘, always whining about the suitors and taking out his anger on Y/n. Which is a stupid way, why on Y/n!?

As Y/n was walking around the palace after their fight, since she called him immature and he called her a whining bitch, they decided to go away for a bit to cool off a bit of steam. The only thing Telemachus was so worried about was what might happen to her when she's walking alone in the palace, afraid of what the suitors might do to her.

Unbeknownst to her, she will be the one approaching the suitors. As she waited for Telemachus to go out, she was fixing herself in a little compact mirror Telemachus got me. Y/n looked up and saw Telemachus exit his room, so she walked to one of the suitors and started to talk to them.

The suitors was shocked at first, before he got all cocky and arrogant. "Yeah, of course I'm strong and bulk!" He exclaimed and Y/n was trying her hardest NOT to laugh or grimace. It was so stupid to her, that she wanted to laugh. Giving these kind of men the smallest bit of attention, immediately gets them a huge boner.

Y/n saw in the corner of her eye that Telemachus was watching, his eyes dripping with anger and jealous.. But.. Something else too. As her conversation with the suitors went on, she quickly got tired of the man just talking all about himself. She sighed softly and straightened her back. "It's was really nice talking to you.. I'll go now, alright?" She murmured.

"Uh- already-?" But before he could even finish his sentence, Y/n was gone in a blink of a moment. Y/n quickly walked through the halls of Telemachus' palace as she went for a search of his boyfriend. She looked at one corner and saw him flirting with one of the maids that he knows likes him. No no, head over heels in love with him. Me and Telemachus locked eyes and I just rolled my eyes, turning away, gripping my chiton and walked away.

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾　☽༓���*˚⁺‧͙

As Y/n was about to go out the palace to go to town without Telemachus, She suddenly felt someone pull her back in and started leading her somewhere. It was Telemachus, his hair tousled as he gripped on her wrist, pulling her to what seemed to be, towards his room. "Tsk- Telemachus." Y/n grumbled, knowing that she explained to Telemachus every time, she doesn't like getting forced to talk to him after an argument.

"Just shut up and follow me. Or else you want me to pull you by your hair that you kept twirling while talking to that suitor Menetes." He grumbled. "You're saying that like you weren't wiping off that soft smirk while talking to the maid that you know is in love with you. Are you stupid?" Y/n stated. "You didn't it first." Telemachus stated as he pushed her in the room. He took a fabric and took her wrists.

"If we can't talk this out, I'll fuck the anger out of you." Telemachus hissed in Y/n's ear as he tied her arms behind her back. She suddenly felt her stomach churn in a good way, as she was slammed on the bed by Telemachus. She never really saw Telemachus this aggressive in bed, but hell, even she would purposefully do something bratty just so she can get man handled by her boyfriend. Who wouldn't?

Y/n looked up at Telemachus and gulped as he started to remove his tunic. That's when she realized that he was going to fuck her clothed like he promised to do when he's mad. This image of him fucking her in her clothes had always been just an image in her wet dreams, and she was thanking the gods that she can finally experience this.

He already had a huge boner and he pulled her down on her knees. "Suck." He instructed as he gripped the back of her head just for support and for him to control her mouth the way he wants to do it. Y/n quickly opened his mouth and Telemachus quickly shoved his wet cock in her mouth, making her gag and cough on his dick.

She couldn't do anything with her arms, so she couldn't have support on his hips. He started to make my head go faster and Y/n whined against his cock in every thrust as it hits the back of her throat and off. She looked up at him as she sucked and that image will be engraved in Telemachus' mind and used for later masterbation reasons.

He pulled our of her mouth and Y/n's chin was covered in saliva and a few tears ran down her cheeks. She coughed and took a long deep breath to catch her breath. Before Y/n had time to compose herself, Telemachus pulled her up onto the bed, her stomach on the bed as he pushed her head in the cushions.

"Still remember the rules? Or I don't fuck you enough for you to remember?" Telemachus said against her neck as he pulled her chiton skirt all the way up, and he spanked Y/n's ass. "I-I-! R-.. Remember.." She mumbled as Telemachus spanked her. Telemachus rubbed his tip on Y/n's slit, making her shiver from head to toe as he kept her face against the mattress.

"Recite the rules while I fuck you, clearly. Any mistake, I go faster." He started as he practically slammed on, making Y/n almost pass out at the aggressive push of his dick all the way in. "K-.. Keep.. Quiet.." She murmured as Telemachus moved at a steady pace. "Because?" Telemachus asked. "Because.. Of the suitors.. And I don't want them to-.. Hah.. Ah~!" Y/n moaned as Telemachus slammed aggressively to see if Y/n can still maintain composure. "Ah.. That's a mistake." Telemachus stated.

He started to go a bit faster from his previous pace. "Next rule." He muttered as he gripped Y/n's arms against her back as he purposefully made Y/n arch her back to her a certain angle and g-spot Y/n had. "N-.. No begging.. Because that's p.. Patheti-ic!" Whined Y/n. She gripped the sheets as she tried to keep her composure. "And?" Telemachus asked. Y/n's thinking was clouded for the other reason, making her silent.

Telemachus slammed in, in such an aggressive way, to the point Y/n had to moan loudly. Telemachus pushed her head against the pillow she had. "What was the first rule?" Telemachus asked, gripping y/n's hair and cocked her back, making her arch her back even more while Telemachus continued to fuck her alot more faster, making Y/n's legs start to shake, her ass red as how much Telemachus was drilling his cock in her.

"K-Keep quiet so the suitors won't hear!" I whined. "But you're being what?" He huffed. "I'm being loud-" I murmured as I looked down, watching my lower abdomen grow a small bump when Telemachus' tip hit my cervix in a certain angle. "Atleats you know. That's a mistake." He hissed and quickly went faster, making Y/n open her mouth and close her eyes, but nothing came out as Telemachus basically used her as a fuck toy.

He put her in a headlock as he drilled his dick inside her now red pussy, and the silken juices she was producing dripped on Telemachus' dick and on the floor or her skirt because of his long it was. Y/n was so close to letting go of her orgasm as it was around the corner. "Hold." Telemachus stated as he went even faster to follow her orgasm. Y/n gripped his arm as he went so fast, and he was basically trying to choke her as he still put her in a headlock.

Y/n didn't know how to control her orgasm any more, but she knew if she let go and came, Telemachus would push it until he came twice, and she knows she'll practically pass out on the next round. Y/n nodded and Telemachus tightened his headlock as he went faster, making me shocked, not knowing he could even go faster. "Telemachus-!" Y/n moaned, her face turning red because of the blush on her cheeks and got Telemachus choked her, before he spanked the side of my thigh as a way of telling her to let go.

And Y/n being a good girl quickly came, making Telemachus moan on her shoulder, kissing it three times as a way of saying I love you. He pulled out and came on her back. Telemachus released her from her headlock and she just crashed on the sheets as she catches her breath. "Come here baby.." He took the fabric off her wrists and turned her around to look at him. "Gosh, you're absolutely destroyed, love." He laughed and Y/n just went red. "Come on, let's get you cleaned my love.." He carried her bridal style and carried her to the bathroom in his room...

I FINALLY POSTED WOOOHOOOOOOOOOO

[little-miss-fandom-freak]

I had a thought, if I may

Eric comes to fight fem!Y/N for The Bride, but instead of a fight he just gets a speech that's summarized as "women aren't objects to be won, she'd go with you if she wanted you, but she doesn't, so get fucked. But if you try to take her I WILL kill you just fyi."

Then The Bride and Y/N kiss :] and Eric just. Explodes or something idk the man

I love this (especially the bit where they kiss and he explodes)

Warning: Eric uses a slur

You and the Bride were sitting under one of the large trees in the palace garden, drinking a stolen bottle of whiskey as you watched the sun rise.

"This is... nice." She said quietly. The silence in the garden was peaceful, but she felt like you could hear her heart pounding with anxiety. She had never gotten close to anyone since... well since Victor. She knows now that their relationship wasn't the most ideal, but it was the only time he ever felt cared for. Until now.

You leaned your head against her shoulder, taking in a deep breath of the morning air. "Yeah, it is."

You looked up at her with half lidded eyes. "Thanks for coming out here with me. I never have anyone to watch the sunrise with, I'm glad I have someone else who can appreciate the view."

She looked down at you, admiring the shine in your eyes as you watched the sun rise over the hills. "Yeah... the view is nice..."

You looked up at her once again, find her eyes locked onto you. Heat rode to your cheeks, you couldn't help but smile a little as you looked down in embarrassment. Bride slipped her finger under your chin, ushering you to look back at her. When your eyes finally locked, she felt her body cave in. It was like all sense screaming at her not to let you get close just silenced themselves when they saw the love-sick look on your face. She couldn't hold back any longer; her hand dragged up from your chin to cupping the side of your jaw, she brought you close her, but she stopped.

She opened her eyes, looking at you for assurance. She was not about to force you into anything like she had been in the past. Your eyebrows scrunched together in confusion, when you opened your eyes and saw the look on her face, it took every restraint you had not to chuckle at her politeness. You grabbed the sides of her face and pulled her into you, your lips were on fire as they locked onto hers. She was shocked at first, but relaxed into the kiss. She got a little too relaxed, leaning into you even more until you lost your balance. She broke the kiss in a panic, instinctively cradling your head as you both hit the ground.

You chuckled. "Got a little excited there, huh?"

She buried her head in the crib if you're neck in embarrassment, her grip around you tightening slightly. You slowly began to leave small kisses on her shoulder and across her arm, leaving a trail of goosebumps behind. She slowly lifted her head, looking down at you, her smudged lipstick and disheveled hair was probably the most attractive thing you ever seen.

"I can get used to this sight..." She mumbled as her eyes scanned every inch of you. You smiled softly as your hand reached up to hold her head, she kept her eyes on you as she laid kisses on your palm. She drew her kisses from your palm, done your arm, and across your chest. As she made her way up your neck, leaving bruises and bite marks across your skin, she took one last look at you before she went for you lips.

"GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY BRIDE!"

The two of you shot up, looking for the source of the raging voice. Before you could even stand up, you were swept up off the ground and tossed to the side like a piece of litter. You were sent into a coughing fit as your back hit the ground. You quickly regained your comp sure and charged for the burley man who had attacked you.

"My Bride!" Eric cried. "Oh how I missed-" Her leather heel met the side of his face. Bride was sent into a fit of murderous rage; not only because Eric returned again, but because he had the audacity to attack you.

You ran to her as she tried to fight off Eric's advances.

"Bride!" You called. When you finally got her, you couldn't help but check her for injuries. "Are you okay?"

"Am I okay?!" She exclaimed, holding the sides of your head. "Are you okay?"

You held her hands against your head and smiled. "I'm okay, love. I'm okay." She let out a breath as she nodded, silently reassuring herself that you were okay.

"What is HAPPENING?!" Eric cried from the ground in front of you, the stitching in his face slowly peeling off from the Bride's attacks. "Why are you coddling this woman?!"

Bride scowled as she pulled you behind her, shielding you from any potential attacks. "She mine. And I'm her's, so back. Off."

"Yours? Her's?! Are you telling me your a lesbian now?! That's not possible!" He cried, going in his arms dramatically to the side. His glare turned you. "This is your fault! You are like Shane!"

"Um... Who?"

He groaned his distress. "Shane?! From The L Word?! The best representation of lesbians in a television show?!"

You shrugged. "I wouldn't say the best-"

"I thought all of you dykes watched it! Is it not like a training video for you all?!"

Bride clenched her fist at his use if the slur towards you, you had to keep a gentle hand in her to prevent her from going ballistic.

"If you were an educated lesbian, you would know that Shane turns beautiful straight women gay; and that's exactly what you have done to my Bride! I demand you change her back and give her back to me!"

You rolled your eyes and stepped out from behind Bride. "Okay first of all; you can't "turn" someone gay. Clearly she was gay before me. And second; she's not yours. She doesn't belong to you, she's her own person."

"Of course sge belongs to me, she was made for me! So give. Her. Back!" He charged at you with his arms out and ready to attack.

Bride quickly jumped in front of you, guarding you from him. She grabbed the bolts in the side of his neck, and threw him to the ground. His back hit the gate of the garden, crashing through the metal bars and tumbling down the hill with rods stuck inside of him.

"Holy shit, that guy is insane. Have you really been dealing with-" You were cut off my Bride's lips latching onto yours. She slipped her tongue in, exploring the inside of your mouth as her hand slipped down to your waist, pulling you closer against her. After what felt like hours, she slowly pulled back and rested her head against yours as you both caught your breath.

"Thank you..." She said softly.

You smiled, still in a daze from her kiss. "For what?"

She shook her head and shrugged. "For being you. For standing up to him for me, for putting yourself in harm's way for me."

Your wrapped your arms around her neck and pulled her closer, if that was even possible. "I'd do anything for you, Bee."

She pulled back slightly, a look if shock filled her eyes at the sound of the little nickname you had given her. She was always called "The Bride", even her name was attached to the man who ruined her life. It was small, and it wasn't too creative, but it meant so much to her. She smiled brightly before she went back in for a sweet kiss.

------------------------------------------------------------

I hope you enjoyed this and if you have anything you would like me to personally respond to, message me or put it in my ask box because as of right now, Tumblr won't let me respond to comments :)

[natalchartnurtures]

PAC: Mitski, what about me is eternal like the.. moon?

I had so much fun doing this

~~~~~~~~~~~

Pile 1:

'Cause my love is mine, all mine I love mine, mine, mine Nothing in the world belongs to me But my love is mine, all mine, all mine

I'm sitting right in front of your cards in utter awe. I got goosebumps when I laid eyes on your cards, pile 1. Let me begin by saying this: you've seen some DARK and truly terrible times, haven't ya? Even as I say this, it feels like an understatement. There have been times when you were stripped down to bare bones, and you had to "grow back the rest of you." I apologize for the gruesome metaphor (but hey, I'm just the messenger; this ain't really coming from me :p). Maybe you've had to encounter times when you felt painfully lonely, stuck in your head and in your general life too, like your spirit was beaten down. Or maybe it felt as if the universe snatched away something you thought was incredibly precious? But I hear that it wasn't what you thought it was; that's why it had to go. You probably didn't see it that way at all, and THAT'S ALRIGHT because we don't have Spirit's perspective, now do we? I see that you really struggled to put yourself together after that somewhat 'impossible-seeming' loss. It seemed like it came outta left field.

BUT GUESS THE FUCK WHAT. You, my friend, took this PAIN and these fucked up times and turned it into a damn palace of gold. You read that right. What's eternal about you? Your alchemy. Your fire. Your willpower. Your ability to take life by the balls. Your refusal to let it beat you to dust. Your refusal to be small. Literal goosebumps, you feeling it yet? It's your connection to God/Source/Universe. Your faith. Your mastery of your mind, babe. Yeah. You've somehow mastered your mind in this process of putting yourself back together. Acknowledge that ish! 'Cause you really did do that.

Nothing can ever get you to stop dreaming, and much less trying to stop you from achieving them, love. You're a powerhouse of energy, and God bless anybody who ever underestimates that (you included side-eyeing you right now). Not you getting low key called out, haha.

Don't get me wrong, though; being a powerhouse of energy doesn't necessarily mean being in everybody's face trying to assert your dominance, y'know? It can look like silent crying in the middle of the night and waking up the next day determined to overcome the thing that made you cry the day before.

Your light is what's eternal about you. It never goes off. Like ever. Your dedication to learning and growing through whatever, and I mean WHATEVER, life throws your way is what will never die, sweetie. It's like a part of your essence at this point. I hope you're proud of that and know that it's what will bring you to your success in life, whatever that looks like for each one of you beautiful ass people reading this :)

Haha, that's so cute; I just heard Spirit go "you're going places, sweetheart" ><

And with that, let's end your FABULOUS, goosebumps-inducing (btw, I don't say that about just ANYTHING), and awe-inspiring reading here.

Thank you, pile 1, for sharing your energy with me today. I love you guys so, so much and… not gonna lie, I'm low key honored to have been in your presence today. Haha, see ya!

~~~~~~~~~~~

Pile 2:

My baby, here on earth Showed me what my heart was worth So, when it comes to be my turn Could you shine it down here for her?

My god, why is there so much happening as I tap into your energy, pile 2? And I mean it in a nice way, though. I heard T Swift's song "The Last Great American Dynasty" as I was shuffling for you, and I heard Spirit go, "she's sweet and salty," lol. We'll see how all that plays into the reading eventually.

The first thing I noticed was your incredible balance within your mind and heart. It's shocking. Maybe you've been working on getting these aspects of yours to agree with one another and balance each other out, or it's simply your personality, but… pile 2, this beautiful mind-heart balance is what's eternal about you, love. Your peace. Your calm. The childlike innocence of your heart blending seamlessly with your mind's unending curiosity for life. Your emotional intelligence. The way you flow… like water, I heard. Wow! I find that so amazing, ugh, like can we be friends, pile 2? T-T, 'cause I definitely need some of that in my life right now, not gonna lie, haha.

There's that AND then there's a whole other dimension to you where you give 'life of the party' vibes as well. OH, so maybe that's why I heard Spirit say "sweet and salty," like two very different things but produce a wonderful taste together. Complex. Addicting. You make people want to come back for more, pile 2. Mmmmmm! Love that!

You have this laid-back vibe to you as well that a lot of people in your life appreciate. I see that your ability to lighten anybody's day is what's eternal about you awwww. I heard "she's the sunshine of my life." UGH, this is too wholesome for my heart; please save me. You seem to really perk up people's day/week or just life in general. You give, like, Saggi vibes, bro. It doesn't matter if you have that in your chart, but it's just your soul. The eternal aspect of you feels bright, expansive, loving, and so vibrant in energy, my god. You've also got strong feminine energy too… you must be really good at attracting 'cause you're strong in your feminine energy AND you're chill and detached from it at the same time. Effortless manifester, master manifester are some words that come to mind as I describe this.

Your divinity is what's eternal about you. Your 'witchy vibes.' Your embodiment of your highest truth. Your commitment to maintaining this divine connection in your day-to-day. Bro, what's eternal about you is that you can turn any old mundane task/thing into something fun and magical and full of meaning and symbolism. You live life deep, and even though there aren't a whole lotta people who can join you there, you wouldn't have it any other way. It's your raw authenticity, babe. Circling back to "The Last Great American Dynasty" song, maybe you're like Rebekah that T Swift sings about, "the most shameless woman this town has ever seen." People tend to call raw, authentic women shameless, but you couldn't care less. You will forever do what you like 'cause you're a free-spirited divine mystic in the body of a teeny lil human. Love it.

That's all I have for you, pile 2. Thank you for spending time with me! I love you so much <3

~~~~~~~~~~~

Pile 3:

Moon, tell me if I could Send up my heart to you? So, when I die, which I must do Could it shine down here with you?

Ah, my divine activators. What's eternal about you? Your intensity. BS detection might as well be your middle name. Sherlock Holmes who? 'Cause you're the new detective in town, baby, sniffing out illusions, falsities, fake people, LIES, victim mentality. None of that runs free with you around, I'll tell you that. It's your capacity to hold divine truth, lovingly, which is INCREDIBLY hard, btw. You can't stand half-assed people and people who seem to not have their "heads screwed on straight." Lmao, what kinda people are you surrounded by, pile 3? Ooh, I heard that you're divinely planted where you are so you can activate a lot of people into awakening to their true selves, but it looks like nobody wants to actually awaken. Lmao.

-Side note: My heart goes out to you if you've been surrounded by really difficult and chaotic energies that bring you down a lot. That SUCKS so hard, bro. Been there myself too lately, and it's not a fun merry-go-round to co-exist with. Just keep being your amazing cool-ass self, ok? Things will work out eventually. You already intuitively feel that things will get better, so trust that feeling!-

If I could describe your energy, I would use the Phoenix rising from the ashes symbolism to do so. Ohhhhh, as I told you that, I saw a vision of T Swift's music video of "Look What You Made Me Do," where she comes out of the grave and sings, "Honey, I rose up from the dead, I do it all the time." I'm a fan, pile 3. Omg. That's some badass ballsy energy, and I'm so here for it right now. You're the epitome of what psychological death and rebirth looks like. You're the textbook definition. And THAT'S what's eternal about you. No matter where you are or what you end up doing in life, you'll always be able to "rise up from the dead" and do it iconically too. Haha, I literally heard that. Lmao. This ability of yours is an extension of the greater aspect of you - your higher self. Whoa… I just heard you've had this ability for lifetimes and you will take it strongly with you to the next ones as well. Powerful. It's etched in your soul, pile 3. You know what you want and how to get it, even if not immediately; you always do eventually. It's the security you possess within yourself that's eternal, love. Nothing can really shake you at this point. Lmao. You've got a strong-ass foundation.

-Side note: I'm really seeing a healed and fully realized root chakra for you. If you haven't gotten there yet, you're well on your way! Good job! Root chakra work is the most brutal, btw, so… you really have my respect. Haha, moving on-

You have warrior energy present quietly in your personality as well. You give spiritual warrior vibes. You don't prefer to live in it 24/7; it's simply something you tap into when a situation calls for it. Otherwise, I see you being quite heart-centered, full of love, looking at the world with rose-colored glasses. Your inner child is what's eternal about you. Your divine sensitivity and your capacity to hold your emotions without judgment and live big from a place of heart. You embody the energy of water in my eyes, tbh. Life-giving but also destructive if need be, and there's absolutely nothing weak about water. Phew. You are eternal as the oceans are.

Ahhh, pile 3, that was sooo much fun! Thanks for stopping by, and I love you soooo much!

~~~~~~~~~~~

[jjmorelikeotp]

One thing about season 6 that is so sad is how Spike helped the gang all summer just for them to act like he never did. I mean, yeah, the obvious take is that they did not tell him they brought buffy back when he thought he was finally accepted by them, but also, when she did, he kinda gets pulled and pushed in an out of the whole scenario and it's so sad. It is also a little bit of bad writing like. If certain writers did not have a grudge against Spike, going by the natural flow of things, Spike would have been more integrated. He used to watch Dawn all the time, as we saw in the beginning of S6. And then suddenly he can't come in? He even CAN, we saw that at the birthday party, he just doesn't come in (6.15) because he respects Buffy's wish to not do so BUT that is exactly what makes no sense. Even Buffy trusted him to protect both Joyce and Dawn in S5. I mean yeah, it is probably just her trying to defend herself and keep him out because she is starting to realize her feelings, but just imagine how different this could have gone if she let Spike in.

Dawn would not have been so alone.

He literally offered financial support.

No meat palace. Passions on TV . Pizza nights and both of them learning to cook cuz more time when no meat palace, and no burgers.

And that might be my headcanon but Spike would be THE boyfriend you can go lingerie shopping with. Like sure he woudl rail her in the changing room and rip apart the fabric before paying it BUT before that he would totally go "oh not THAT color, love" and "that shape is much better. Look at that; that's silk, much better quality , and also, you have an hourglass body so this is the most flattering but of course I'm not complaining about any of them -"

Probably STILL both (or all of the scooby squad) of them fucking it up like Spike harvesting eggs to make money but at least they could rely on each other a lot more.

I should do a post on this seperately lol -

But yeah. One really frustrating part about S6 is how back and forth the logic goes. Anya & Xander literally invited random Demons to their wedding. AND invited Spike cuz then he suddenly is allowed to come into the building.

[uwukillmenowowo]

I was in my class, break time, playing CRK and "Love in Paradise" came up.

AT THE SAME I PULLED WIND ARCHER COOKIE AND I WAS LAUGHING SO FUCKING HARD THE TEACHER SCOLDED ME

Love in the Wind

[Yandere! Wind Archer Cookie x Human! Reader]

Notes:

Reader is female

Reader is a hardcore CRK player.

Buys all the limited packs, saves her gems for Super Epic+ cookies

Etc Etc Etc

But something went... wrong...

When Wind Archer first came out, you were the first to get him and his legendary costume.

You showed him much more love than you have any other cookie. Absolutely maxing him out until he had 1 Million combat power on his own. You got very lucky with the RNG.... Dang...

On the other hand... He loved it.

When he first came, he was already told how he was simply part of a game.

But after experiencing all your affection... He felt something in his code go wrong.

He started admiring you from beyond the screen, making sure his dialogue greeted you first.

Seeing you get all excited all over him flustered him beyond belief.

That's when things got bad.

The others cookies noticed Wind Archer acting out of place.

In turn the others starting acting out too, wanting to be a part of your team, wanting to be useful for their user.

Wind Archer did not like that... and decided to do something drastic

The Unthinkable happened... You were baking a cake when you couldn't find your phone. You looked around desperately since you needed to do your daily tasks. But that's when you heard a loud explosion. That's when you realized that you dropped your phone in the oven. the last thing you saw was your phone glitching all shades of green.

{Second POV}

~~~~~

Waking up slowly, you found yourself in an unfamiliar... yet familiar place. Sitting up, you were shocked to see yourself in clothes that you know all too well. After all, you designed it after Wind Archer Cookie's Legendary costume. "Morning Sleepyhead. You've been resting for a while."

You recognized the voice instantly. When you looked to where the voice came from, you saw the familiar green frosting. Stammering over your words, you stared at Wind Archer Cookie in shock, confusion, but most of all, amazement. "Are you... Real..?" You tilted your head. Wind Archer chuckled softly and sat beside you on the grass. "I swear I thought you were dead when you were laying in the soil."

You sweatdropped and rubbed the back of your neck. "Did you know you talk in your sleep?" Blushing in embarrassment, you chuckled and shook your head no. "Tell me though, who's [User]" In shock, you looked away. That was your username in Cookie Run Kingdom. Does hat mean that all the cookies you have are sentient..? "My... Player name..."

Wind Archer Cookie just smiled. "Anyways I've got all your could want here, all you can need here, just you and me my dear, my love for life!" You gasped at what Wind Archer said. "Wha- I-I'm not that" you blushed and looked away. Only for Wind Archer to suddenly be behind you and hug you tight. "I'm what you want here, I'm what you need dear, Just you and me my Love in Paradise! Now til' the end of time, From here on out you're mine. All mine~"

Flinching, you back up. "Yeah- No I can't stay here that's a fact- Are you sure this ain't a trap?" Wind Archer smirked and moved closer to you. "How cute of you to think, but last I checked, our codes are linked." You felt pale as you bit your lip. "Code?" "You're adorable~" Wind archer pat your head. "Our codes are connected due to your game crashing down on our heads but fear not cuz you're not dead. 'Cause I got all you could want here, all you could need dear, Under my spell, we're stuck in paradise. No one can come or go. My palace stays unknown-"

"No- No..." You look around in desperation to find a way to get out. "I don't belong here! There's something wrong here! I won't be drawn to Love in Paradise- not til the end of time there is no way-" Backing up on the bed, you were simply followed by Wind Archer.

"You're mine~! All mine~!"

I thought of this on the spot- I love this song and I--

WAHDBAWBDHLKHAWDNBJB

I may have made multiple mistakes but ehhhh.....

[usiel21]

The courting gift.

Thing: What about a diamond?

Wednesday: Don't be ridiculous Thing, Enid is worth more than any mere dia-

Thing: Oh no, i know that look.

Wednesday: Thing you are a genius.

Thing: ...This isn't going to end well.

1 Hour Later...

Wednesday: Enid, a family matter has arisen that i must attend to, I will be back by the end of the weekend.

Enid: Uh yeah sure, everything okay?

Wednesday: (Pause) Yes, it cannot wait. Don't wait up and if i shan't return, burn this school down and everyone inside.

Enid: Wow... you're such a psychopath! (Giggles)

Wednesday:

Wednesday: Flattery will... it won't... (Sigh) Los halagos no te llevarán a ninguna parte cuando ya me has capturado, en cuerpo, mente y alma.

Enid: (Smiling widely) I Love you too!

Wednesday: (Quietly) Do not jest with your words Mi loba.

Two Days Later...

Enid is stood in the common room of Ophelia Hall, watching the news with Yoko and Divinia.

News Presenter: ...We have some upsetting breaking news, The Tower of London was broken into last night where thieves took the Koh i noor, a diamond that was set in the crown of the Queen Mother. With an estimated value of Three Hundred Million Pounds, the jewel is said to be priceless. The Metropolitan Police in conjunction with Palace officials have confirmed that currently there are no suspects, this is without doubt one of the greatest heists in history, although authorities are baffled that only one item was taken.

Enid: Wow... what kind of person would steal from a dead woman's crown. (Shaking her head) Anyway laters, Wednesday is due back at any moment!

Yoko: (Grinning) Like a puppy eagerly awaiting their owners return at the door.

Enid: (Blushing) Shut up. Anyway i'll see you later!

Enid rushes up a flight of stairs, two steps at a time, a bounce in her step. She had missed Wednesday. She had missed her so much. She pushes open the door making Wednesday flinch.

Enid: Wends!

Wednesday: (Turning around sharply, hiding something behind her back) Mi loba.

Enid: (Narrowing her eyes.) What's behind your back?

Wednesday: ...Nothing.

Enid folds her arms with a pointed glare and tilt of her head.

Wednesday sighs, knowing she can't lie to Enid, not anymore, brings the item in front of her.

Enid: Wednesday... please tell me you have a really, really good reason for having the fucking Koh-i-noor in our dorm room???

Wednesday: (Weakly) I stole it for you. I planned to give it to you this coming full Moon. To court you.

Enid:

Enid: Wends... all you had to do was ask me out for a coffee or something, not commit the greatest heist in living history! (Tearily) But oh em gee, you did this? for me?

Wednesday: I would do anything for you, my fierce, fluorescent wolf.

Enid: (Preening and blushing) Oh my gosh... I'm going to have to get used to that huh?

Wednesday: (Striding forwards) As long as I breathe every breath will be spent making sure you never feel unloved ever again.

Enid: (Squeaking as Wednesday gets within several inches of Enid's face)

Enid: You...I...uh... you love me?

Thing:

Thing: Oh fer fuck sake, just propose already!

45 Mins later...

Thing: These lesbians, i can't anymore. They keep making googly eyes at each other from across the room and smiling, a hand can only stand to watch so much you know?

Weems: Wait... Wednesday AND Enid???

Thing: YES!

Weems: Wednesday smiling?

Thing: YES!

Weems: (Muttering) God help us all...

(The Koh-i-noor is never found)

[corkinavoid]

Hogwarts??? So you hate trans people then, if your supporting jk

First of all, it's 'you're', not 'your'. If you want to accuse someone of something, then at least do it in a grammatically correct way.

Second, that's a lot of conclusions for no apparent reason.

Third, don't like - don't look, the 'block' button exists for a reason, and I'm not here to provide a comfortable experience for you. You're the one responsible for that part.

With that out of the way, let me rant about how much I fucking despise J.K. Rowling.

Let me get this straight, though, her stance on trans rights is not the first or the main reason for my dislike. In all honesty, I don't have enough care in myself to touch internet drama with a ten foot pole, so all I know about it is that apparently Rowling hates trans people, which, yeah, fuck her.

By the way, what do you even consider 'supporting an author'? Buying their books or merch? Liking their Twitter posts? Defending them on social media? Because I've done literally none of that. I haven't even watched the movies, and I've never read the last book, because at the time it wasn't published (or written yet), and by the time it was, I was already into Eragon series and didn't care about Harry Potter.

Now, to the important part.

I fucking hate J.K. Rowling because of her absolute lack of comprehensive worldbuilding. She sucks at creating a logical system of magic, at her own world's history, economics, and politics. Nothing in her books makes sense.

Why do the wizards need wands? Why do they write with quills on parchment when there's paper and notebooks and goddamn ink pens and color pencils? Why don't they teach math in Hogwarts? Why don't the teachers have, like, some introductory lessons or at least books for muggleborn or muggle-raised students? What the fuck was that 'power of mother's love' bullshit? Where did that story about Peverell Brothers and Death come from, and why didn't anyone think to mention it when Harry first got the Invisibility Cloak? Why in the world is the entrance to the Chamber of Secrets in the girl's bathrooms of all places? Why is there a subject for Ancient Runes but no one fucking uses runes? Why didn't Harry sign up for Muggle Studies, it would have been an easy grade? Why was Hermione the only one to have a time-turner in the whole school, she was fucking thirteen, what was McGonagall thinking? Where are any kind of PE lessons? Why the everloving fuck was Triwizard Tournament held at a school, with teenagers participating? What's more, why couldn't they choose the champions beforehand so the visiting schools didn't have to transport their whole student bodies over for a year? Why were they fighting dragons when it's common knowledge that no sane adult person would dare to do that alone by themselves? What was that arch in the Ministry where Sirius died? What the fuck was even going on for the most part of the series?

None of it makes an ounce of sense. Every fucking event in the books is a product of poor imagination and lack of logic. Rowling is fucking dumb as a brick. I've heard five-year-olds come up with stories that had more reason than the whole Harry Potter series.

Have you seen the 'map of wizarding schools' she came up with? That thing makes me feel the rage of a thousand men. One single school for the whole damn Africa? Bitch, there are over fifty countries there, each with their own language, how do you expect them to communicate? Not to mention India and China having one school for both of them, do you have any idea of the population of both of those countries? That school must be, like, a size of a city, not to mention culture differences and language barriers again.

Also, what was that fucking thing about kids flying on whole ass trees instead of brooms in Koldovstvorets, that one offends me personally. Not to mention the actual name of that school, because it translates to 'magic palace', are you kidding me?

I can keep ranting about this for hours, and never run out, but this is getting rather long, so I'm going to wrap this part up. Just know that the whole of Rowling's worldbuilding is a ton of bullshit that has no right to be as popular as it got.

Yet, I do like the general idea that she had. The magic world that is hidden inside the real one, the whole charms and spells aesthetic, a castle full of secret passages, and all that old classic English vibe to it. It could have been good. It could have been marvelous, if Rowling had, like, a few more braincells. Alas, she didn't, and here we are.

A few years ago, I've found a fic on ao3, 'survival is a talent' by ShanaStoryteller. It's a Series Retold, and it's incomplete. If you haven't read it, I really advise you to, it's perfect in a way the original will never be. Ever since I've read it, I decided that that fic is my canon version of Harry Potter.

On a different note, I think that at this point, HP fandom and J.K. Rowling exist in two different dimensions. That woman had created a world, yes, but it doesn't belong to her anymore, it belongs to everyone who enjoys it. She clearly doesn't, she only enjoys the profit she is making from it.

If you've made it this far through my Harry Potter related rant, thank you, and have a beautiful day <3

[11queensupreme11]

Do you have the personalities for any of the Secy kids yet?

you're in luck cuz i do!!!!!!

i'll start with cearbhall, the eldest and only son:

he's a bitch 💩

no seriously, he's a cocky, arrogant, loud-mouthed, snarky, and rude piece of SHIT. he is literally just like his father, minus the raping and not as much of a misogynist thanks to percy's intervention (bless her because omg you do NOT want a second cú chulainn walking around the universe 💀)

a womanizer just like his daddy but percy at least taught him about safe sex and consent so after sex he always makes sure the girls he sleep with take some magic tea or whatever to prevent pregnancies (something his stupid dad didn't think he'd need to learn about smh)

still has a bit of a sexist mindset, but it's really leagues better compared to cú chulainn or the average god tbh 😭😭 it's complicated for him cuz on one hand you've got his mother telling him "you should always treat women with respect, sweetie! let them live their life and don't ever try to take away their freedom! 💖" and then there's his dad saying "lmao fuck whichever whore you want. oh and also make sure you never let your mother and sisters out of the palace when i'm gone and keep all men away from them 😃👍"

😭😭😭 yeah you get the point 💀

so thx to his dad's stupid paranoia, he's grown to become very overprotective of his younger sisters and mother 😭

now luisne:

she has the physically young appearance of a 10 year old girl and she pretty much acts like a brat 😂

i plan on making her a goddess of wealth and riches, gemstones, minerals, and luxury so OBVIOUSLY you can see why she's bit of a brat lmao 😭😭

demanding and bossy and very temperamental. she pretty much inherited cú chulainn's famous anger issues 😭

she's extremely spoiled however there is one thing she adores more than any precious stone and it's anything that her mother makes herself. homemade blue cookies, knitted sweaters, jewelry, etc. no matter how basic, she'll love it because she knows her mother made it with love; no magic or anything just genuine skill 💖💖💖

and then there's cú chulainn's untalented ass. can't cook, can't bake, can't knit, or make anything cute or pretty with his bare hands 💀 he conjures up lavish dollhouses and intricate looking dolls, orders the best jewelry to be made for her etc. she LOVES it ofc, but she also loves bullying her talentless daddy and demanding more stuff from him because he caves so quickly 😭😭

does not bully or demand stuff from her mommy tho cuz she knows mommy can actually put her foot down when it comes to her 😂

and now ponyo, the youngest sécy baby:

a mix of ariel and ponyo tbh! she's got ariel's curiosity and fascination with humans, and ponyo's reckless nature.

because of her reckless and curious nature, she's the one most likely to disregard her father's rules and TRY to sneak out of the house 💀 keyword being "try"

she has an overprotective and vigilant father, an equally as overprotective older brother, and a mom who at least understands but still wants her to be safe.

idk how i'm gonna have her fascination and curiosity for humans come from, but i'm planning on maybe having ponyo and percy have some bonding down in midgard? ponyo will be a sea deity so percy'll want to show her the atlantean empire down in midgard. maybe there's a shipwreck accident up above and she helps her mom save some humans and gets enthralled by them... idk yet, but i think that's what i'll go with!

and that's pretty much what i have for the sécy babies so far! i'll think of more for the rest later, but honestly, the ideas just come to me randomly 😅

and btw, no incest freaks here! the sécy kids will pretty much be incest free lmao. as for yans...... idk yet. i think i'll have cearbhall be a platonic yan and maybe another daughter (fiachra maybe) but this is what i have so far!

[ottpopfic]

“Its because your dad wants to babysit” Will informs him after a long bitch fest “he did the same thing before you figured out family dinners, remember”

Nico pauses, thinks it over, and then puts his face in his hands to groan “Fuck your right”

“Im always right”

“Don't start” Nico does not whine

“Just add him to the pick up drop off list” his husband laughs “then he can go have Grandpa time and we can get a date night”

“Are you sure?” Nico checks “he can be a lot”

“Lay down some rules first” Will shrugs, like a primordial force in the Kiss and Ride is no big deal “Just like you did last time”

Nico’s husband is so smart, he loves him so much. Nico makes a point to call his dad the next day to set things in motion

And his dad looks so guilty at the accusation, the same way he was when Nico called him out about the same thing before. It's comical in a way, the King of Hell looking a little like a puppy getting scolded after chewing a shoe under the indictment of his mortal son. Who says the gods can't be humbled

“Look, we're not saying you can't spend time with Katie, in fact we're saying the opposite. You just can't be pulling me off on jobs right and left so you can babysit, I'm exhausted and it's not good for Piccolina to spend so much time downstairs” Nico explains not unlikely “Also Jason is about to start trying to pick her up from you himself, I think he's going into kid withdrawal”

“The blond Valdez is banished from my kingdom until it is time for a permanent death” his father snaps “the two of them are on thin ice”

“Yeah well keep in mind that if you kill her uncles Katie will never forgive you,” Nico reminds “I think she loves Leo more than us sometimes”

“I will, refrain, from balancing the scales in regards to the Valdez's” Hades says only a little through his teeth, sounding more worried about his granddaughter's ire than killing two dudes who his son considers family “but they will not be allowed to ‘pick up’ from the palace, I can only bend things so far”

“Cool, works for us” Nico says “were planning on adding you to the pickup drop-off list”

“the pickup drop-off list?”

“Yeah, so you will be allowed to collect her after school”

“I do not need to be added to a list” Hades scoffs “I can just go in and get her”

“Uh no you can not” Nico tells him “The school secretary is a sphinx and I do not need to do the bureaucratic circus tricks she makes people do when they fuck around with her kids, there's a reason Leo got taken off the list”

The reason is Leo kept landing Festus on the roof and then entering the school through the roof access instead of the front door like visitors are supposed to. And while Miss. Tina is a lovely woman who cares very deeply about her work, she does not take kindly to little Latin twinks who think they can find a ‘secret entrance’ to what and who she is guarding.

Miss.Tina is one of the main reasons Katie is in the school she is, along with the three whole saitors who work there; especially Miss. Holly Fields the school nurse who specialises in getting kids diagnosed with an array of neurodivergentcies. It's part of a growing network of schools that The Program has been helping to not only get monsters and other mythological creatures jobs, but find young demigods faster. The earlier a kid is spotted the better, and well-staffed schools help protect the halflings that are not year-rounders

Its the reason they went with public school over the private schools they could have easily gotten Katie into, its safe there. There are two other demigod students in the building and they haven't had an successful monster atack in years, the magical employees make sure of that

[archangeldyke-all]

good afternoon gorgeous!!

how about some royal sev and knight reader smut for lunch?

perhaps some jealous/ possessive sev for dessert?

GOD i love this. (lets do both and call it lessert)

men and minors dni

though she's lived here for years and the nation would fall apart without her-- sevika technically isn't royalty in zaun.

her royal blood comes from her father-- a king on the other side of the world who decided to send his trouble making daughter to be an advisor in a far land before she could cause him any controversies that would cost him the crown.

sevika loves this fact. she loves that she doesn't have to follow royal customs in zaun, that she's free to skip social balls and honorary dinners with no consequences, that she can dress in simple garments rather than the intricate traditional wear of a princess.

what she likes best is that she can leave the palace whenever she wants. sure, she takes you with her most of the times she sneaks out-- but that's not for security. that's just 'cause she likes you.

but tonight, sevika's starting to wish her power were a little more recognizable.

she's sitting in a dingy tavern, sipping on ale and waiting for you to come back with fresh drinks, and she starts getting antsy when you don't come back within ten minutes.

it's a busy night at the bar, sure, but nowhere near busy enough for you to be taking this long for just two more beers.

she peeks out of the little nook your table's in, and her stomach sinks.

there's a woman at the bar. touching you.

you don't look particularly happy about it, protectively holding your beers to your chest as you back toward the far wall.

the woman's not letting up. she reaches out, trailing her finger over the armband you always wear when you're out of uniform so people know you're a knight in case there's an emergency.

"a woman knight? i didn't know his highness was so... progressive..." the woman purrs.

you shrug, trying to squirm away from her touch. "silco's the most progressive king we've had in centuries, miss, you should read the paper more oft--"

"and you're a reader." she smirks. "i love a woman who's well read."

"i'm not--"

"'scuse me." sevika cuts in.

you nearly shit yourself, both in relief and worry.

sevika's... clingy, when it comes to you. ran calls it possessive. you don't mind it-- in fact, you love it-- but you're worried she might think you were encouraging it tonight.

"sev i wasn't--"

"who the fuck are you?" the woman between you and your wife asks, turning around with a scowl.

something protective and possessive settles inside of you, and you let out a low growl. "sorry?" you ask.

the woman turns back around to look at you. "you know her or something?"

sevika just watches in amusement as your protectiveness overshadows her possessive mood.

"do i kn-- she's a princess!" you shout, flailing your hand out at your wife. "you're lucky she's a kind one, because i could arrest you and have you hanged for the way you just spoke to her!" you shove past the woman, grabbing sevika's hand. "c'mon baby." you mutter, shoving out of the tavern, throwing a few coins over your shoulder as you go.

sevika's cackling as you storm out into the cool night air, and she gently tugs you down an alley with a hand on your shoulder.

you pout up at her, your eyes wide and worried. "i'm sorry sev, i didn--" she cuts you off with her lips on yours, pushing you against the brick wall with her hands on your hips as she licks into your mouth. "sev!" you gasp.

she laughs against your mouth, shoving her thigh between your legs. "you're mine." she growls.

you giggle as she starts to nibble your neck. "y-yeah, that's what i was tryna tell y-you."

sevika hums against your throat, pulling away from the hickey she was sucking into your neck to kiss you again, much sweeter this time. "i know. don't worry, baby, i know. it just drives me fuckin' crazy that everybody else doesn't." she whines as she starts humping against your own thigh.

"y-you're the one w-who didn't wanna royal wedd-ah!" you whine when sevika returns to her hickey. "everybody'd know i'm yours if we had t-that dumbass parade."

sevika giggles, remembering the parade the king had tried to force on the pair of you when he learned of your engagement. "fuck that. i got a better way for 'em to figure it out." she whispers as she shoves her hand down the front of your pants. you gasp, and sevika whines, hanging her head to rest on your shoulder when she feels how wet you are.

"s-sev--"

"that's right." she grunts. "tell 'em all who you belong to."

you claw at her arms, groaning as she shoves her fingers inside you, pressing against your g-spot. "sevika--" you whine.

"louder." she demands, biting your shoulder.

"sevika!" you squeal.

"cum on my fuckin' fingers, baby, then i'll take you home 'n we can wake up the palace." she chuckles.

one of the benefits of being a princess' wife is that you won't get in trouble for anything. and so, despite the fact that there are people drunkenly stumbling out of the tavern you're pressed against and horse-drawn carriages running down the road, you give sevika what she wants.

she's your princess, after all. her wish is your command.

"s-sevika! fuck, baby, you fuck me so fuckin' good, shit, princess, you're gonna make me cum!" you wail as you fall apart on her fingers.

sevika groans, her teeth breaking your flesh as she fucks you through your orgasm and cums in her own pants from your words. you giggle as you come down from your high, gently kissing your wife's temple. a few whispers and giggles from the mouth of the alley make you and sevika both look up: a gaggle of drunken girls scream and scramble when they make eye contact with princess sevika and her royal consort.

you snort. "we're gonna be in all the gossip rags now."

"'s not the first time. we'll be fine." sevika giggles.

you grin and kiss her again. "you wanna take me back to the palace now, or do you need me to make you cum in front of some village girls?"

sevika just laughs, then turns around and heads toward the palace. you cackle as she waves over her shoulder for you to follow her.

taglist!

@fyeahnix @lavendersgirl @half-of-a-gay @thesevi0lentdelights @sexysapphicshopowner

@shimtarofstupidity @chuucanchuucan @badbye666 @femme-historian @lia-winther

@ellsss @sevikaspillowprincess @emiliabby @sevikasbeloved @hellorai

@glass-apothecary @macaroni676 @artinvain @realgreeniebeanie @k3n-dyll

@sevsdollette

[devilmaycry3dantesawakening]

read more'ing this for the the sake of my mutuals who i know plan to watch the show but still haven't. rambly spoiler-y post about Kill la Kill incoming:

it's kind of genuinely crazy to me how ryuuko killlakill is just canonically a lesbian and despite this show being insanely popular and seeing it posted everywhere ten years back, i somehow just never heard about it in the ten year span it took me to watch it. like just from internet osmosis i knew about the gay shit with kaworu in evangelion, and diantha and akko shipping is basically all i've ever heard about from LWA, and i vaguely knew how gay promare was before i watched it (though i didn't know there was an outright kiss).

but like, ryuuko is just gay and i never once stumbled on any posts about it. when she's in mind control land she makes out with nui on screen and the immediate assessment from ragyou afterwards is "she's horny and saw girl lips and pounced".

the show's character designer is still drawing post-canon ship art of her with mako sharing a futon and swapping shirts.

her fucked up mind palace that's presented as the unhappy ideal of her evil fascist mom's desires is depicted as her getting married to a faceless man, and she's ripped out of it by mako (and my goat senketsu) breaking up the wedding at the altar.

she goes on a fucking date with mako at the end and there's a fucking kiss and mako specifically uses romantic terminology (to my understanding the loanword "deto" is used only for romantic intent) and imagery and ryuuko uses the promise of the date to keep herself hyped up in the final boss fight and the last spoken line in the broadcast airing of the show is about their date and like what the fuck?? i've looked up old discussion threads and i've seen people trying to argue about ryuuko/mako being canon and like, yeah, mako's date proposition is partially played for humor, but if ryuuko was a boy absolutely nobody would ever have a single doubt whether this shit is supposed to be romantic or not.

the ova ends with these bitches holding hands.

like i know how anime writing works and i'm not going to act like this is anywhere near the level of explicit depiction you'd get in like, an actual yuri manga or whatever—the kiss with nui is depicted as An Extremely Bad Thing done by a ryuuko who isn't in a right state of mind and the date with mako uses romantic terms but is coy about actually confirming anything—but like come on. mako is literally "me with the bad bitch i pulled by being autistic".

there's no ending to this post i just think ryuuko is cool. i already liked her a lot but the show ending with a big fat "SHE'S GAY" sticker slapped on top made me realize "oh i'm going to be annoying about this show for years."

[sashi-ya]

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ エロチックトバー２０２４> MDNI / EXPLICIT CONTENT

BOTH 🍒 JUGRAM X F! READER X BAZZ B ＫINKTOBER DAY 25: DP

🐙 Requested by: Anonymous. Hnnng. Afab reader with DP with Jugram and Bazz-B??? omg 😳 I'm sorry- ⚠️ tw: mdni. explicit content. there is always a way to stop a fight... jugram and bazz fucking you at the same time. dp. 🐙 wc: 1,1k // kinktober 24 masterlist // join the taglist

- “Then why don’t you fight me, huh? Jugo!”  - “Calm down, Bazz-B…”  - “Ha! Bazz-B?! Come on! You won’t fight for her like you don’t fight for being the succ-“ - “Shut up!” 

You get in the middle; their eyes are blue and red fire, their veins pop from their temples, foreheads and squeezed hands. 

Their hearts beat so fast they tend to lose the rhythm; you can feel it in your palms, as they land on their chests to separate and stop an imminent fight. 

“Stop, guys… please” you murmur, they have gone silent the moment you step in between them. “Stop fighting, my heart hurts when you do this” you continue, acting like an angel in distress… but it was you who gave them another reason to want to kill each other.

Jugram sighs, he takes his hand from the pommel of his sword to put it on your cheek. His blond, long eyelashes flutter over sky orbs that fix on yours with deep regret. 

Bazz, who also stays silent, takes his arm in a much more violent way around your waist. 

“Leave. Her. Alone” he grunts, snatching you against his chest. 

You enjoy the natural warmth of a man that’s made of fire, that also turn Jugrams into a conflagration of hate and jealousy. 

He lifts his chin a little bit, looking at him from the side with superiority intent. Perhaps is just pain, but that’s the only way Jugram had been taught to behave. 

“She is the one to decide” the blonde states. 

“Yeah! Who is it gonna be, (Name)?!” bazz answers back. 

You take some air, passing your hand through Jugram’s small of his back to bring him closer to you and your “captor”

Your eyes go from the mohawk man to the prince, and biting your lip you whisper your final resolve…

“Both… I want both of you… I don’t wanna chose, I want to be shared”

To them, the word <both> had been pronounced in slo-mo. Your lips moving so slow, so juicy, so tempting. A perverted proposal that Bazz-B took as a challenge, while Jugram pondered whether letting reason win or desire… and of course, the scales ended up tipping to lust… 

Immediately after, both attack your neck. A kiss on your right, and a kiss on your left. A bite here, a bite there. Hands around your waist, sometimes crashing their fingertips with the other right in the small of your back. 

Engulfed by their masculine frame, your fists clench to their white Sternritter uniforms, pulling them closer, so close to your body. 

You want their mouths on yours, you want them freed from their pristine clothes… you want the darkness of their souls letting loose and all inside your own. 

Their lips take turns to kiss yours, while one attacks your juicy mouth, the other bites your neck and your collar bones. And then, their hands, playful, blatantly, desperate, rip the buttons that hold your white uniform together. 

There is nothing they wanted more than seeing your naked skin shine with the faint light of the Silbern… the cold surrounding the palace can’t reach your skin, and the bumps on your flesh are only caused by their soft grunts… the heat of their hands, making their way all over you, it is even making you sweat. 

You, feeling so loved and desired, want more… you pull from their clothes even harder, wanting to rip them, to tore them. Yet, you stop yourself, you don’t need to do it, you just need to let their manhood win… a poor damsel, their object… is it that bad to feel that way from time to time? Just, and only, as precious as Heika’s blood? 

You let them do, and by the time you realize, there was no need to ask for it. Bazz walks around and stands at your back. His arms snake around your waist to the front, falling down your belly button. You can feel the hardness of his sex against the small of your back, while his chin rests on your left shoulder. 

As for Jugram, he prefers to stay right in front of you, crunching to devour your chest, breasts and nipples. Sucking, biting, licking, while his index softly caresses your already sensitive lips, forcing his fingertip to bury on your mouth. 

Your explosive lover reaches for your core, spreading your labia until finding your clit. He focuses there, getting his fingertip hotter, just enough to make you squirm in complete warm pleasure.

You try to reach for both bulges, blindly groping as Bazz keeps your head back with his hand on your mandible and his teeth carved on your nape. 

“Desperate, (Name)? What do you want? Tell Jugo and I” Bazz whispers on your ear.

You moan; “what do I want? Both… didn’t I tell you earlier?” 

“Heh…” he answers back, taking a quick look at his blonde friend who had stood up just on time to look at your raptured façade pleading for their dicks. 

“At the same time, (Name)?” Jugram asks, speaking up for the very first time since this is all started. He is a man of few words, and that even made him a little blushed. 

You nod; desperately, moving your hips back and forth to graze both hardnesses… “Please, Jugo, Bazz ~” you purr. 

Enough, that was enough for them. Their pants fall down the floor in a matter of seconds, their sexes, impetuous, violent, hasty, already play against your folds. They get wet, they soak into your neediness… please, please, please. I want you both inside, I wanna feel you throbbing right inside at the same time. 

The first to open its way inside wasn't Bazz, but Jugram. His eyes told his friend to stop, to let him go first, to let him do it before him. And Bazz acceded, he understood you needed the balanced intrusion of someone not -that- explosive. 

When the blond slid right in, you let your head rest on Bazz’s shoulder, trapping his mouth with yours, and kissing him desperately as his friend started moving in and out of you. 

Jugram carves his fangs on your neck, like a vampire, something that kinda looks so proper to him. “Bazz… come on” he mourns, still with his mouth against your flesh. He knows your insides are ready to take him as well; he couldn’t keep your milking walls to be enjoyed just by him only.

“Ready, love?” Bazz whispers, guiding his tip to your entrance. At first, the touch of their manhood stop them for a little bit, but lust prevailed… no friendship, nor brotherhood could stop them from getting deep, deep inside of you. 

And so, with your mouth opened agape, and short breathing filled with random sounds that couldn’t form a word, you feel yourself full. With synchronized rams, stretching you till the point of feeling like ripping in half… trembling, biting, kissing, whining. 

Full, make me full. Both, both, both… Full, we will make you full…

Taglist of amazing babes: @awas-posts @missfuriosa @theneighbourhoodferret @cyberdazetragedy @ariesbbytings @animesnowstorm @lenablack9919

[canirove]

The invinsible princess | Chapter 5

“How I met the royal family”

Chapter 4 | Chapter 6

Masterlist

“What if we tell them that I wasn't feeling well and had to go back to my hotel?”

“What?”

“Yeah… That I got dizzy or something.”

“Pedri, they just saw you play for eighty minutes, pose with your man of the match award, and give a bunch of interviews.”

“Exactly!” he says. “We can tell them that I was exhausted after all that and that we can meet tomorrow. Or next time I'm playing in Madrid. Or…”

“Or nothing. You are officially meeting my parents tonight, end of the story.”

“C'mon, Sofía…” he pouts.

“No. The sooner we do it, the better.”

“Please…”

“Pedri, I said no. And stop pouting.”

“Why?”

“You know why.”

“Umm….no.”

“Urgh” I groan, rolling my eyes.

“I was just teasing you, my lady” he says, moving as close to me as his seatbelt allows him to. “But it was my lips made to kiss and to be kissed, wasn't it?” he smirks, lowering down his voice. “You can't control yourself when I pout because they look even more kissable, and we have company” he says, nodding towards Carlos, who is driving us to the palace.

“He's seen us kiss many times before.”

“He has. But with these kisses you would probably end up getting carried away” he says, one of his hands touching my thigh and slowly moving up. “You always end up getting carried away” he whispers against my neck, the feeling making me shudder.

“Pedri, turning me on isn't going to save you from meeting my parents” I manage to say, his hand now dangerously up on my thigh, making me regret wearing a dress.

“Isn't it?” he says, kissing my neck on the spot that by now he knows drives me completely crazy.

“Fuck” I gasp.

“Everything ok, ma'am?” Carlos says, giving us a quick look through the rearview mirror. 

“Yes, perfect” I say. “We were just wondering how long until we make it to the palace.”

“Around fifteen minutes, ma'am. The traffic is kind of bad.”

“I can make you cum in fifteen minutes” Pedri whispers so low I can barely hear him myself. 

“You won't dare” I say, slapping his hand when he manages to touch me between my legs.

“Ouch!” he laughs. “But if this car had one of those things that separates us from the driver, I definitely would” he smirks.

“Thought you didn't like doing that in the car.”

“And I don't. But this…” he says, moving his fingers in a way I'm very familiar with. “This I can do it anywhere.”

“You are the worst, Pedro González.”

“Yet you love me, my lady” he smirks. “So, should we ask Carlos to take us back to my hotel?”

“Nice try, but no. You are meeting my parents tonight” I say, giving him my best smile.

“Urgh” he replies, moving away from me. 

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

“I think they are getting along quite well” my mum says.

“They are, yes” I smile while watching Pedri laughing with my dad. And they are not laughing together to look good and please me, no. This is a real laugh, an honest one. Their body language is giving it away. 

At first both of them had been a bit stiff, making the beginning of our dinner kind of awkward. And the fact that my mum had started asking Pedri many questions about his life, sounding like her old journalist self, hadn't helped either. But then my dad had remembered a cute anecdote from when I was a kid that I myself didn't, and that somehow had broken the ice to the point that now both he and Pedri were laughing together as if they had known each other their whole lives… And maybe because they were a bit tipsy too.

“I can't remember the last time I told this anecdote” my dad chuckles. “Do you?” he asks my mum.

“I… Ummm…” she mumbles, taking a sip from her wine to avoid answering. 

“I do” I say.

“You do?” my mum asks me, raising an eyebrow.

“It was the night I met Pedri” I smile, looking at him. Because the anecdote my dad had just told him and that he had liked so much (maybe because he had actually found it funny, maybe because of the alcohol in his system), was the same one he had started to tell his friends when Pedri had walked towards me and gestured me to follow him outside the room where everyone was celebrating that Spain had won the Euros.

“Aww, what a lovely coincidence!” my mum says.

“It is, yes” I say, still smiling at Pedri like an idiot.

“Wait. Wait, wait, wait” my dad says. “The night? I thought you had met when the team came to visit us here at the palace.”

“Oh, I… Umm…” I mumble, now being the one who takes a sip from her drink to try and avoid answering.

“Who cares about the exact moment they met?” my mum says. “What matters here is that they love each other and are very happy together” she smiles, reaching for my hand and giving it a little squeeze.

“You are right. We should toast to that!” my dad says. “But we've run out of wine… Let me call for another bottle.”

“Haven't you had enough already? You aren't twenty anymore, darling” my mum tells him with a teasing smile. “And we can't get Pedri drunk. He's a professional athlete!”

“Oh, this is nothing compared to what others drink, mum. Trust me” I chuckle.

“Especially when celebrating winning a title” Pedri adds.

“Should I ask for that bottle, then?” my dad asks. “If you get drunk you can always spend the night here, there are enough rooms. In fact, I think you should. We could call my mum and ask her to come over for breakfast tomorrow so you can meet her too. Wouldn't that be nice?”

“It would. But are you sure you want to have breakfast with your mother while hangover?” my mum asks him, still teasing him.

“Nothing she hasn't seen before” he shrugs. 

“That's not what I meant and you know it.”

“Whatever. What do you say, guys? Are you in?”

“Are we?” I ask Pedri.

“Yeah, why not?” he says. “Your grandma and I are supposed to become bffs, aren't we?”

“What?” my dad asks with a confused look.

“Inside joke” I chuckle. “But we are staying and saying yes to that breakfast in one condition.”

“Ok” my dad says.

“Can we please sleep in the same room? I'm not a kid anymore, dad.”

“Oh, trust me, I know. I know...” he says, drinking from his glass but finding it empty. 

“Is that a yes?” I ask him.

“I guess it is” he sighs. “I'm gonna go find that wine.”

“And I'm gonna go to the bathroom” my mum says, excusing herself and leaving me and Pedri alone.

“See how you didn't have to worry about anything?” I tell him, moving my chair closer to his.

“Your parents are really nice, yes.”

“And my mum isn't that scary, is she? Maybe at first she looks like it, but once you get to know her…”

“Yeah” he smiles. “But is what you said earlier true? That your dad was telling that anecdote when we met?”

“Yep.”

“It is a funny anecdote. I don't know why you looked so miserable.”

“Maybe because I had already heard it a hundred times before, I knew by heart, and had had to hear similar ones from his friends for like an hour?”

“That can make someone miserable, yes” he laughs. “Though I guess I have to thank them, because if it hadn't been for them and their anecdotes, I wouldn't be here tonight” Pedri says, leaning forward and closer to me.

“Meeting your in-laws, also known as the King and Queen of Spain?” I say, also moving forward.

“That, or meeting the parents of the woman I love more than anything. The woman I've had a crush on since I was a teenage boy and who to me never was invisible like she believes herself to be.”

“I actually believe it a bit less every day. And do you know why?” I say, our noses almost touching.

“No” he whispers.

“Because of you, Pedri. It's all because of you. I love you.”

“I love you too, Sofía.”

“Ehem” someone says behind us, stopping our kiss the moment our lips touch. “I got the wine.”

“Oh, dad. You're back.”

“I am.”

“Cool, great. Umm… Do you need help opening the bottle?”

“I'll do it myself” he says, giving us one last look before focusing on his wine.

“You know, maybe I was wrong and he is the scary one” Pedri whispers.

“Maybe” I laugh. “We'll finish that kiss later when we are alone in my room.”

“If he allows it. I think he is regretting agreeing to it.”

“My mum will convince him, don't worry. And Pedri…”

“Yeah?” he says, his eyes focused on my dad and how he is struggling with the bottle.

“I love you.”

“I love you too, my lady” he smiles, turning to look at me and giving me a quick peck just as my dad finally pops the wine open, making my mum scream since she was just coming back into the room. 

And there, as I rest my head on Pedri's shoulder and he interlaces his fingers with mine, and as we watch my dad pouring some wine while my mum scolds him for almost giving her a heart attack, also telling him to be careful and not spill any on the carpet while he just rolls his eyes, I finally feel that something I had missed quite often growing up. That feeling of union, of togetherness. That feeling of family.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

A few months later...

“Do they always have to do this?” Pedri asks.

“Every summer, yes. It's like a family tradition that has been done for generations to officially kick off the summer holidays, and also a way to give something to the press so they would leave them alone” Irene says.

“And it is just them? You don't join them?”

“No, we don't. This is just for the king and their family.”

“So… if one day I… You know” Pedri says, his eyes still focused on Sofía and her family, on all the photographers surrounding them while they smile and pose for the cameras.

“You will be part of it once you marry Sofía. And as long as Leonor hasn't become queen yet, of course.” 

“What?”

“That photoshoot is for the king or queen and their family, not their siblings. So if you marry Sofía and Leonor still isn't queen, you'll have to be part of that photo. Same with whoever she marries. Once she becomes queen, it'll be just her partner and their children if they have them” Irene explains.

“So that's why your mum and your aunt aren't part of it?”

“Exactly. They were while my grandad was king, but once he abdicated, bye bye.”

“Your grandma is posing with them, tho.”

“That's because she's the dowager queen.”

“Grandad isn't dead yet, Irene” her brother Pablo laughs while joining her and Pedri at the window from where they are watching what is happening in front of the palace.

“Exiled, dead… Kind of the same” she shrugs. “But they let grandma be part of this because she deserves the love after having to deal with him, and because it is her 80th birthday next week.”

“She told me she wants to have her first dance at her party with you, Pedri” Pablo smirks.

“What?” he says.

“Oh, I heard that too” Irene giggles. “But don't worry. If you don't know how to dance, Sofía will teach you.”

“Sofía? The one who was born with two left feet?” Pablo laughs. 

“She isn't that bad of a dancer, don't listen to him” Irene says. “But you better get ready, Pedri. Because grandma loves dancing at family gatherings, and she's smitten with you” she smirks.

“Indeed” Pablo replies with a matching smile.

“Yeah, well, ummm…” Pedri mumbles. “The photoshoot is over. We should probably move from the window before someone sees us.”

“Oh, finally! I'm famished!” Pablo says as they walk away.

“You are always hungry, Pablo” his sister says.

“Because I am a professional handball player. People like me and Pedri need our energy, don't we?” he says, putting his arm around his shoulders.

“Yeah” he chuckles.

“What you are, is a professional glutton” Irene says with a teasing smile.

“I beg your pardon?”

“I said what I said.”

“Oh you little…”

“Pablo!” she laughs as she starts running down the stairs, her brother going after her while Pedri laughs behind them.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

“Looking hot, Mr. González. White suits you” I smirk while watching Pedri button up his shirt.

“Don't, Sofía.”

“Don't what?” I say, walking towards him.

“Don't tease me like that.”

“How?” 

“By telling me that I look good in white. I know what you truly mean” he says.

“I mean just what I said” I shrug. “And leave this one unbuttoned too” I say, stopping his hands.

“Sofía, we are attending your grandma's birthday party, remember?”

“Yes, and?”

“And…” he says, grabbing me by the waist and pulling me closer towards him while I wrap my arms around his neck. “I must look good and presentable, not as if I'm going out to a club in Mykonos. This is my first proper holiday with the whole family.”

“But that's the vibe of the party. Greece, the Mediterranean, white clothes, hot people...”

“I don't think your grandma had that last thing in mind when she chose the theme for the party” he chuckles. “Though you also look really hot, my lady.”

“Do I?” I ask him.

“So hot I don't know if I'm gonna be able to keep my hands to myself.”

“Pedri!” I laugh, when he moves both his hands to my butt and squeezes it. 

“Told you” he shrugs. 

“You rascal” I say before kissing him. Which probably is a mistake, because now I also am not able to keep my hands to myself, and as usual, I am getting carried away. We both are, to be honest. “Pedri…” I whisper as he starts kissing my neck.

“Yes?” he says against my skin, one of his hands already moving under my dress.

“We are gonna be late.”

“We won't” he says, walking us towards one of the windows in our room until my back is against it. “I think we actually have time for a quickie.”

“What?” I laugh.

“You are already ready” he smirks, his fingers moving under my underwear.

“I’m… I… We can't do it here.”

“Why not? We are in our room” he says as he goes back to kissing my neck, his fingers already torturing me. 

“Yes, but I… I'm against a window” I manage to say. “What if someone sees us?”

“Sofía, this room looks at the back of the palace and there are security guards everywhere. No one will see us.”

“They could see us.”

“But they won't say anything. It's part of their job.”

“Yes, but… Fuck” I moan. 

“Are you sure you don't want to do this? That you want me to stop?” 

“Ok, fine. But try not to ruin my hair too much.”

“What?” Pedri chuckles before letting go of me to get a condom from his toilet bag.

“It took me ages to do it like this, I have to pose in front of the press before the party, and you are about to fuck me against a window.”

“If the lady is so worried about her hair, I can always fuck her on the table. Or on the bed while she is on all fours. Or…”

“I like the window idea better. It is more… exciting.” 

“Oh, so now we aren't worried about the guards seeing us, uh?” he smirks.

“Whatever. But I want to have you closer” I say once he is ready and back with me, his hands quickly moving under my dress to get rid of my underwear. “I want to have you as close as it is humanly possible.”

“Like this?”

“More” I whisper, wrapping my arms around his neck while he moves me until he is completely inside me, the feeling making us both gasp. 

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

“There you are!” my grandma says. “Where were you? Your parents and Leonor are already outside waiting for us.”

“I'm sorry, grandma. We…”

“Sofía was struggling with her hair, and convincing her to let me help her took its time” Pedri says. 

“I see… Did you also struggle with your makeup?”

“What?” I say.

“You look quite flushed, darling” my grandma chuckles.

“Oh, no. That's from doing my hair and getting mad. You know me” I say with a nervous laugh. 

“Does Pedri also get mad with such things?” she asks, arching an eyebrow.

“Pedri?” 

“He also looks quite flushed. Look at the colour of his cheeks.”

“My cheeks?” he says, touching his face.

“That's because we had a little argument because we were going to be late, nothing else” I quickly say.

“I hope everything is good now” my grandma says.

“Peachy” I smile. “Should we get going?”

“Yes, of course. But Pedri, darling. While we are outside, can you please go check on my grandchildren and make sure they don't start eating without us?”

“You mean Pablo” he says.

“Exactly” my grandma chuckles.

“I will, don't worry” he says, giving her his best smile.

“I hope it was good” she says once Pedri is gone.

“What?” 

“What you and Pedri were doing.”

“I don't know, you tell me. Does my hair look good?”

“Oh, Sofía” she laughs.

“What?” I ask again.

“I know you weren't arguing because of your hair, darling. You were doing… other things” she smirks. “And I don't blame you. He looks extremely handsome tonight.”

“We… ummm…”

“But c'mon, let's join the others before your mother gets angry with us” she says, linking her arm with mine. “Besides, we have to take advantage of that glow you have right now. Not many are lucky enough to get it” she winks, leaving me even more speechless and flushed than I already was.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

“C'mon, Sofía.”

“We can't, Pedri. It's too risky.”

“We'll ask Carlos to come with us. Please” Pedri pouts.

“Go with you where?”

“Bloody hell, grandma!”

“Language, Sofía” she says. “And where do you want to take her, darling?” she asks Pedri.

When I joked about them becoming bffs, I didn't expect it to actually happen. Like, we've been in Mallorca for a week, and they already are as thick as thieves. She even calls him darling, which is something she only uses with her grandchildren.

“I was told there is a verbena* going on in a town nearby and I want to go, but she says it is too risky” Pedri explains.

“Why risky?”

“Because anyone could recognise us, grandma.”

“I already told her that no one will be paying attention to us, that they will be too busy dancing and drinking. And that if someone comes closer or something, Carlos will intervene. But she still thinks it is a bad idea.”

“If no one were to recognize you, would you like to go?” my grandma asks me.

“Of course I would! I've never had the chance to go to something like that” I say.

“Then come with me” she says, Pedri and I looking at each other with a confused look before following her.

*A verbena is like a party that usually happens on Spanish small towns at night during the town's summer festivities, and where there is live music and like a bar where you can get something to drink (basically alcohol).

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

“Those are… wigs?” 

“Indeed, darling” my grandma says, taking one and brushing the hair. 

“Why do you have a closet full of wigs?”

“Because sometimes I want to go out unnoticed, and these are perfect for it.”

“What?”

“Oh, don't look at me like that, Sofía” she laughs. “I haven't done it in years, but your mother has used them more than once, especially while dating your father. And they clearly worked, because no one knew about them until their engagement was announced, which I guess it is what you also want. Privacy.”

“We do, yes” I say, looking at Pedri. Though he doesn't seem to be paying too much attention. He's focused looking at one of the wigs, one of ginger hair. “Pedri?”

“Yes?” 

“We do want to keep our relationship private for the longer the better, don't we?”

“Yes” he says, still looking at the wig. “Can you try this one on, please?”

“What?”

“I think you would look smoking hot as a ginger. Sorry” he says, giving my grandma a shy smile.

“Oh, no need to apologize” she chuckles. “I actually agree with you. Come here, Sofía.”

“What?” I say again.

“Come, let's see if we are right” my grandma says.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

“We were right. You look smoking hot as a redhead, my lady.”

“Oh, shut up” I say, giving Pedri a little push.

They did it. He and my grandma convinced me to try on the wig, said it looked perfect on me, and now here I am, at the verbena he wanted to go, Carlos keeping an eye on us from a distance.

“C'mon, let's go dance” he says, taking my hand on his and leading me towards where everyone else is.

“Pedri, you already know I wasn't made for this. I almost injured you while teaching you how to dance for my grandma's party.”

“Yet I survived, didn't I?” he says, making me twirl before he wraps one arm around my waist, the hand from the other holding mine.

“I guess, yes. But do you know how to dance… this?” I ask him.

The band on the little town square where we are is playing a traditional Spanish song, a pasodoble, one that I did not get taught as a kid when my mum made Leonor and I take some dancing classes before quickly realising that neither of us were born for it.

“I don't, no. But we can learn how to. Excuse, ma'am” he says with his best smile to a woman dancing next to us. “My girlfriend and I are a bit lost, we don't know how to dance a pasodoble. Could you show us how it's done?”

“Oh, of course!” she smiles back. How does he do it to charm every single woman he encounters and that could be his mother or grandmother? “It's very simple. One, two, three forward. One, two, three back. And turn” she says, her and her partner showing us and making it look easy.

“Ok, I think I got it. Sofía?”

“Uh?”

“Are you ready?”

“I…”

“I'm leading, ok? So you go back” Pedri says. 

“Ok” I nod, ready to step on his toe, or bump into the people around us, or…

“That's it! You got it!” the woman says.

“We… did it?”

“You did it, my girl!” she smiles.

“Wow” I laugh.

“Thank you very much for teaching us, ma'am” Pedri says.

“My pleasure” she replies before going back to dancing with her partner.

“Ready to go again?” Pedri asks me.

“Ready” I say, taking a deep breath and focusing on the steps.

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“I knew you weren't born with two left feet, my lady. You just needed the perfect partner” Pedri says as we wait to get ourselves a drink.

“And you are that perfect partner, aren't you?” I ask him with a teasing smile.

“Duh” he replies.

“So humble” I chuckle. “What… what are they doing?” I ask him, pointing at one of the bartenders.

“They are making kalimotxo.”

“What?”

“Sofía… Sofía, please tell me you know what kalimotxo is.”

“A drink?”

“A… Sofía!” he gasps, his eyes wide. “I get you haven't grown up in the same environment most people have, but are you seriously telling me that as a teen, none of your friends drank kalimotxo?”

“Some of them may have, I know they used to meet to drink in a park or something. But I never joined them, I wasn't interested” I shrug.

“Wow. Just wow” he chuckles. 

“Sorry” I shrug again.

“You don't need to apologize for not being interested on that, Sofía. To each their own, there is nothing wrong about it. It's just that I thought this was something everyone knew everywhere in Spain, royal or not. Do you want to try it?”

“What?”

“Should we order some kalimotxo, my lady?” he says. “It is Coca Cola mixed with wine, though they use more wine than anything. And you like that, so…”

“But I can't drink one of those huge glasses, Pedri. If I do, you'll have to carry me home.”

“Ok” he chuckles. “Then we'll share one.”

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

“Here is your first kalimotxo, my lady” Pedri says, passing me the huge plastic glass. 

“Wow” I cough after smelling it. “Are you sure this is legal?”

“You said the same about Paco's chips and now you love them” he smirks. “C'mon, drink.”

“Ok” I sigh before taking a sip. “Bloody hell!”

“That doesn't taste like the nice wine you have in the palace, does it?” he laughs.

“It does not, no. Holy shit.”

“It'll probably taste better after a few sips.”

“Or not.”

“Or not” Pedri laughs. “And look, the bingo is about to start!”

“What?”

“Sofía, please tell me you do know what the bingo is.”

“I do, don't worry. My granddad's sisters love playing it, and if my cousins and I are around, we actually end up joining them and being quite competitive about it.”

“Royals fighting over bingo?” he laughs.

“Yeah” I shrug. 

“Should we get ourselves some tickets and join everyone else, then?”

“Let's go” I smile.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

“Sofía… Sofía!”

“Shhh!” I giggle after hitting him with the ugly teddy I won on the bingo. “You are gonna wake them up.”

“Then stop hitting me with that thing!” Pedri whispers. “What is it, by the way? A mouse? A bear? A cat?”

“I don't… fuck!” I say when I trip with the stairs.

“Maybe, after all, you actually were born with two left feet” he laughs.

“Idiot” I say, sticking out my tongue. “Come help me get up.”

“Can't the lady do it herself?” he says with a teasing smile.

“Any other day, she could, yes. But the lady is a bit tipsy and needs help from her handsome boyfriend.”

“A bit tipsy, she says” Pedri snorts. “You are drunk, Sofía.”

“And so are you, Pedro.”

“I'm not” he says, crossing his arms over his chest but somehow losing his balance and ending up on the floor next to me.

“Were saying?” I ask him, arching an eyebrow.

“Whatever” he replies, lying down on the steps and snatching the weird stuffed animal from my hands, using it as a pillow. “Can we spend the night here? It isn't that bad.”

“It isn't, is it? Quite cosy” I say as I lay down next to him, resting my head on his chest.

“Uhm” he replies, running a hand through my hair. Because I'm not wearing the wig anymore. I think it is on the car, that I took it off when we started making out.

“What will we tell my family when they wake up and find us here?”

“That's a tomorrow problem, Sofía” he yawns. 

“Pedri…”

“Yeah?”

“Thank you for tonight. I loved it.”

“You're welcome” he smiles. I can't see his face, but I can hear it in his voice. His very sleepy voice. “I love you, Sofía.”

“I love you too” I reply before curling up my body against his and closing my eyes.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

“Sofía!”

“Holy mother of Jesus!” I say, standing up so fast that everything around me is spinning. 

“What is this, Sofía?”

“What?”

“You scared us all when one of the security guards told us you were sleeping on the stairs. We thought something had happened to you!”

“Mum, can you… can you lower down your voice, please?”

“I beg your pardon?” she says.

“What time is it?” Pedri yawns next to me.

“Too early” I say, laying down again. 

“Sofía!”

“Yes?”

“Are you drunk?”

“I'm… I was. Now I think I'm hungover.”

“Why are you yelling so early in the morning?” my grandma says somewhere.

“Your granddaughter and her boyfriend are drunk!”

“Hungover” I correct her.

“And is that a reason to start yelling as if the house was on fire?” my grandma says.

“Of course it is! They are sleeping on the stairs!”

“I've slept in worse places in my youth” my grandma chuckles.

“Are you defending them?” my mum gasps.

“I'm just saying that they are young, in love and on holidays. Let them enjoy themselves!”

“But… But…”

“C'mon, darlings” my grandma says, waking us up more gently than my mum. “You better go to your bed if you don't want to add back pain to what you will definitely be feeling in a few hours.”

“Ok” I say, barely opening my eyes as she guides us towards our room.

“Are we in trouble?” Pedri asks her.

“You aren't, don't worry. I'll deal with her and my son” my grandma says.

“Thank you, grandma” I say, letting myself fall on the bed once we make it there, Pedri doing the same with a loud groan. “For this and for last night.”

“You had fun, didn't you?” she chuckles.

“Yeah… Though I'm not drinking kalimotxo ever again. Do you hear me, Pedri?” But his only reply is a snore. 

“We’ll take that as a yes” my grandma smiles. “Sweet dreams, darling” she says before kissing my forehead, something she hadn't done since I was a little girl.

“Thank you, grandma. I love you” I smile, my eyes already closed.

“I love you too, Sofía” she replies, her words probably being the last nice thing I feel before experiencing the worst 24 hours of my life once I wake up again.

Like I said, I'm not drinking kalimotxo ever again. Like, ever. 

[shadowqueenjude]

A rant from Eris if he finds out how Cassian treated Nesta

Eris: What the hell is wrong with you people? Rhysand: Excuse me? Eris: You have the chance to befriend a goddess in a Fae body, and you lock her in a house when she's depressed? Are you insane? Rhysand: Now see, she was wasting away- Eris: And, what, you thought locking her away was the SOLUTION? Rhysand: I had to do something! She was spending my money! Eris: Oh shut up Reece's Piece of shit. Don't complain about money like you don't have 5 fucking palaces you dickhead. If Nesta asked for my money, I'd have said, whatever you wish, queen!" Rhysand: That's because you didn't see her- Eris: I saw her when she was just made before you morons even knew what she was. And I'm not talking about her silver flames. She made all the High Lords listen. Even my father. A human just turned Fae. How dare you treat her like she's something to be ashamed of? That brute had her hike a MOUNTAIN? Those flawless feet should not have to do any manual labor. Rhysand: She revealed our secrets to Feyre. Eris: Yeah, the malignant pregnancy. Why the hell wasn't Feyre being informed anyway? Nesta was completely right to tell her. You're worse than my father, Rhysand. Rhysand: How dare you- Eris: Did I give you permission to speak, you Illyrian brute? At least my father would've tried to save his wife from the unborn child. He would've yeeted that mfer out as soon as he or she appeared. But you didn't do shit to try and protect the mother. No, you were more concerned about the goddamn egg. Rhysand: How dare you speak to me this way- Eris: You GASLIGHTED her into believing she's worthless, all while making her complete the tasks of a HIGH LADY by going after the Dread Trove. And when she was at her lowest, she inspired an entire library of traumatized priestesses to rise up and restore the Valkyries. And you dare treat her that way? You don't even realize the treasure you have. I would've made her my High Lady without hesitation. Matter of fact, I think I'll call the Blood Duel for her. Rhysand: You'd better not try anything, Eris, or I swear... Eris: You'll what? Kill me? Didn't Lucien tell you? Death threats are simply another Sunday evening while growing up with Beron as a father. Fucking try me, bitch. You should be grateful I spared your little Morrigan from her father after you forced him on her. Rhysand: What do you think you're d- Eris: I'll see you at the blood duel!

@thatlosernoonelikes This is Eris's part of the rant!