#FUCK U HUSSIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

[lovelyrotter]

to this day i cant believe how many people full heartedly dont want any kind of conflict or antags doing antagonistic things or even just well written, nuanced, realistic teenaged characters fucking up and making bad choices in HS. like are. are we reading the same thing. have we been reading the same thing. yall didnt pay attention in eng lit AT ALL i see

[cgtg]

if u could redesign one hs character who would u do and what would u do

gonna sound lame but i think they all look rlly good i think hussie is gud @ effective character design within a heavily limited style presentatiom. i swear this isnt a copout its gen how i feel

dose it count that id make it so rose gets to keep her style post-godtier. actually id just make it so they all still get 2 rock diff outfits post-godtier. get them out those jammies

actualy fuck it id make it more obvious that john n karkat r wearing belts on their og outfitz liek in the hs beta so everyone starts drawing them in high waist pants w the shirts tuckd in. funny 2 me.

thanx 4 asking :) i 4got abt the part where u said only 1 guy sorry

edit: it is just my interp that the dark grey band iz a belt on kk, i think that specifically bc he directly is given a lot of superficial parallelz to john. the grey band is done w the exact same presentation as john's black band, which is defo a belt... so ppl who dont draw it arent wrong or anything. i just like it

[tipsygnostalgy]

On Grandpa/Jake Harley

you know shits about to be long as fuck when i add the keep reading line like four lines in lol

anyway anon all this is 4 u!! feel free to talk ab this by just tagging instead of rb i dont want 2k words to be posted over n over again

Grandpa Harley being some kind of pseudo-omnipotent deity figure who somehow figures out/guesses (my money's on guesses) extremely intricate details about the game and does everything he can to make things go right is something that we don't talk about enough. It's one of the only plans in Homestuck made that are orchestrated entirely by one person then ends up going right. It's that pattern of hoping that the cards fall into place in the right way (unless we're taking the Grandpa is practically God perspective, which is interesting in its own right)—but notably, he makes a lot of preparations beforehand. He's so... active. It fascinates me. I'll have to talk about this on the Jake English as Jesus Christ trope post (it's coming, I swear, brainrot's a bitch) but the sheer amount of things he does is astounding. But, lo and behold, he wasn't always like this. Cue: the Skaianet Systems Incorporated texts.

Quick note about all that. A very large portion of the things Hussie wrote for SSI is 1) dubiously canon, and 2) a bunch of anti-semitic bullshit that he probably never should have fucking released to the public, at least not like that. Like, holy shit, keep that and your weird comments about sexual slavery in your Notes app dude, we don't need to hear it. For this reason I suggest reading the actual material with extreme caution. Cool? Cool. On with it. Here's a lil' review of Jake Harley before the session.

Funny enough, Jake had always been kind of pathetic in the Beta session as well.

So Skaianet was actually established by HIC as a front for laundering technology from Alternia and Sburbian ruins. The key of SN was not to actually develop tech, but make it look like it so that people will believe you when your company just re-defined gravity for the hundredth time. Jake has to play the "famous genius shtick," but he doesn't do so well. When he fully inherits SN at 21 he runs it hands-on, and "believes" his success is due to hard work and diligence. He also "believes SN is now a considerably more distinct entity from Crocker Corp, and his leadership of the company is a result of his hard work and competence. Neither is true." He's manipulated by his at-the-time boyfriend (Charlie Chaplin, somehow) into letting a rebel force into the Crocker manor, though the effort is ultimately thwarted by HIC.

He also has a disastrous love life. His relationship at sixteen with Chaplin consists of Chaplin finding him "obnoxious and thoughtless" though he "can't seem to quit him," and Jake ultimately "[toys] with his heart, and [abandons] him." This later (much later, think decades) manifests into something way worse when Chaplin appears in an outing Jake has with one of his families (he's had many, though not at once) and tries to kill Jake for not just his involvement with SN/HIC, but for breaking his heart as well. Notably, in this scene, upon having a gun aimed at him Jake reflexively hides behind his wife, who ends up being shot in his stead. He's out-strifed so badly that he'd have died in the jungle (oh yeah he takes his wife and 5yo son to a jungle btw) if Chaplin didn't have a divine intervention moment afterwards.

At 32 he also abandons his post at SN for fucking around Europe. "[H]e's out exploring and adventuring, completely oblivious to whatever's going on in Europe. He hops from site to site, looking for Sburbian ruins to plunder." One, the "whatever's going on" is WW2, again, somehow. Two, he has a daughter there that he "takes custody of, apprentices as an adventurer, and takes all over the place on his adventures." When he takes her to Hawaii she ditches him because she's sick of her "douchebag dad." And there's that Jude family too, obviously.

Oh, and all the Beta guardians are also meteor babies. It's how Jake ends up finding Dirk and Roxy to begin with—he sets them up with trust funds in Texas and New York so that they can be of use to SN later, though whether he knew their importance in the larger context of SBURB is unclear.

All caught up? Great.

The exact details of how every event goes down aren't as important as the lessons you can draw from it, namely: Jake Harley is an absolute fucking mess of a human being. He continuously creates families—notice how he keeps having children with his wive—then is bereaved of them. A few times he abandons them, a few times they abandon him, and sometimes they get killed by your ex-boyfriend. It's a neat little insight into just how neck-deep these commitment issues lie, but it's also fun to consider that he seeks it so desperately. This man has on record has had:

one wife be shot dead in front of him

a son who was technically kidnapped from him by the man who almost beat him to death (his ex-boyfriend)

a daughter ditch him in the middle of hawaii for being a shitty dad

a daughter (joey claire) be teleported by portal to alternia, who hated jake so much she took her dead mom's last name

said dead mom/wife whom upon her death leaves her children "Semi Orphans" because he just straight up ditches his kids to go work on hellmurder island

probably more

And he still considers himself a grandfather to Jade. TBF, I guess the easier way of explaining it is that it's simply the natural explanation—they are sort of related after all. But considering that he once sired an illegitimate daughter and not only took her into custody but tried to raise her as his liege, I still find it the fact that he tries over and over again to the point of rending the family meaningless interesting. I think it's viable that Jake wanted a family—not one where he and Jane were raised by HIC and poorly—but a real one. His attempt to raise that first daughter to mirror his habits reflects the way HIC raised Beta Jane to mirror her. Yet after relationship after relationship goes horribly wrong, this desire fades into a kind of apathetic unsureness to the point where this is what he says about his last "full" family, the Harley-Claires:

He's been making good headway on his quest for the mysterious island in the pacific. Once everything is taken care of here, he'll leave this family behind and set up shop on that island permanently. That's when the real work begins. The discoveries on that island will finally unite him with the destiny he's been in search of his whole life.

Two things of note. One, his first recorded instance of permanently setting up jackshit anywhere is at first with SkaiaNet then at Hellmurder island. Both locations share that theme of "destiny" in common—notice how he considers SN divorced from Crockercorp because of his efforts and tries to make the place overall less HIC-controlled, but ultimately fails. And sure, he later achieves this kind of destiny by having his Sburb plan go "right" but before this not a single "plan" he established went correctly. Jake in either timeline isn't a guy who regularly makes plans for multiple efforts—they zero in on one goal that appears as part of their calling and makes it happen, damn it. To him, that's a success. Whether he "actually does" is up for interpretation.

See, HIC actually wanted the Beta kids to play the game. She'd been using the Beta session as a "testing" timeline, knowing which events and people to avoid and keep in mind so that she can play everything out exactly the way she wants it to. Part of the reason why Crockertier Jane was so firmly for marrying Jake and having children was because that had been HIC's idea of what Beta Jake's purpose was once he landed on a Meteor (after B!Jane). So he saw the "big picture" in a bigger way than quite literally anyone else, but it still isn't enough, at least not in the way he thought it might be at first.

Prior to his discoveries on the island, Jake has no idea this will result in some kids using the software he's unearthing, which will destroy all life on Earth. Nor does he have any idea that those kids will be using this same software to reboot the universe with different starting conditions, thus ending this "trial run" timeline for HIC, and giving her a fresh start. Exactly as she planned.

This implies there is some moment that Grandpa Harley realized that everything he was doing would end up playing into the HIC's hands anyway. This also implies that he carried out those actions regardless, Hoping that Jade would someday win the game in the process. Are you seeing the parallel for my interpretation of Ult. Jake yet? Fuck.

What was the moment he realized? Did he power through anyway, hoping there was a bright light for Jade at the end of this all?

He's also a hoarder. He keeps items and objects instead of people. He hangs onto the past to the point where he's seemingly unable to let go of it—trophies, guns, artifacts—but throughout the entire Harley Manor there is not a single picture of his families. And that's where his dolls come in—dolls are just human enough but not too human, you can control them however you'd like yet delude yourself they are company. I'm not saying all doll-enjoyers are this way, but the specifics in which Grandpa (and Bro to an extent, for that matter) interacts with his dolls makes me believe he's turning them into pseudo-human entities because at the end of the day he again craves company. But, unlike Jake, Grandpa Harley's had a lifetime of experience reinforcing over and over again that this will never happen with a real person. And fuck, don't even get me started on the taxidermy—it's the very act of taking something, bereaving it of life and subjectivity, then keeping it for yourself. You can see how this has even affected Jade in the sense that she thinks about her taxidermied dead Grandpa (who she taxidermied himself, by the way) like a living, breathing person. And Jadebot? A robotic, perfect replica of his granddaughter, designed to monitor her at all times instead of him? And the parallels that has to Brobot. Ughghgh.

Also, quick digression. You know how Beta Dad & Mom were on the Battlefield? And how Grandpa landed just to recover Jade's dead dream body, then left Dad and Mom behind. Sorry, I'm just not normal about that at all. How did we collectively miss the sheer tragedy of that situation, God, I wonder what Roxy was thinking. Digression over.

All in all, what these files tell me is that the way Jake was written was no way accidental. Yeah he got fucked over in the Alpha session, yeah he's tragic, but he's tragic for a reason that I ultimately appreciate even as I clutch my heart and dramatically fall over from pain. He knows just enough about the meta-reality to cause feelings of absurdity but powers through it; he's supposed to be put in seemingly insurmountable situations and emerge, through one way or the other, victorious. He's supposed to have the strangest relationship known to man regarding other people and, as a result, try to find compromise between the two halves of "complete fuck-all isolation" and "the company of any developed adult human ever." He's goal-oriented only when it presents a clear-cut destiny to him, when he can see the significance of it, and otherwise floats around doing fuck-all in this world. This goal is, most of the time, people: Dirk for LE Jake, and Jade for Harley. It's also fun insight into where Jake could potentially end up going—as this post by Cooper already pointed out, Ult. Dirk's actions mirror Bro's need to micromanage and control everything in his life to the point where he, much alike Bro, secludes himself in an apartment while running his inner machinations unknown to most others. I wouldn't be surprised if Jake ends up in a similar way to Grandpa, giving his all to a dreary situation and maintaining Hope through it with the desire that it'll eventually succeed.

It would also be fun if his Hopes only came true after his death.

Alright, analysis over, everyone clock out. Good work, people. [Vaguely gestures to the reader.]

[quinnonimp]

do you have any favorite books/movies/shows? (this is me asking you to ramble about your favorite piece of media, I'm in the mood for special interest talk.)

ooo im not much of a consumer of media but one of my favorites is homestuck !!!! ill talk abt it, but mind u im kind of horrible at talking abt my interests </3

im not that old of a homestuck fan (only got into it around 2020 i think) but FUUUUUCK its such a huge part of my life and probably my longest hyperfixation, might even be a special interest with how much i still think abt it at random intervals or small associations

im honestly a little of scared of falling back into my hyperfixation of it though ? theres a few small reasons but i think its mostly just me being scared of commitment to anything as always (which is probablt also why i barely consume media) . recently i was REEEALLY close to but new ccquackity/ccwilbur activity dragged me away to safety lmfao (if u could even call a dsmp/tntduo hyperfixation safety)

smth i rly love abt homestuck is the way its so incredibly focused on characterization rather than story

like YES it does have a great story but its clearly messy n weird n hussie just kind of throws anything up in the air and just the dumbest shit ever can happens, and while that is aswell smth i absolutely fucking love - the characters r a way bigger deal n more interesting than anything the story will conjure up, and thats definitely my favorite way of writing media

cause like, yknow, good characters can absolutely save a bad story, but a good story cant rly save bad characters

plus theres so many characters and theyre all so well written that its easy to find a fan for each of them

my favorite character is 100% gamzee, im so fucking normal abt him, like oh my god i love that dude so much and the little idealized version of him i have inside my head lmao . mostly the earlier stuff is what i like of him though

fun fact ! hes part the reason im not scared of clowns anymore . i used to be terrified of clowns so when i first read homestuck i thought he was the most annoying freak in the world and DESPISED him, until i started looking more into purplebloods and gradually liked gamzee more until suddenly clowns r now my entire personality

i have so many reasons to love gamzee, but a lot of it has to do with just the plain fact i relate to him and when i see him i go "damn hes just like me fr" . like just . idk . his mannerisms n the way he dresses n looks r pretty similar to mine nowadays - except the whole "murderous instincts" thing, i think . and because of the way i havent read the comic in a while this self projection has really marinated itself

hes also sooooo brasileiro nordestino bc i said so 🤏

other favorite characters of mine are roxy, jade, kurloz, aradia, meenah, and calliope . plus, hes not a favorite but: when i got into homestuck i used to be a way louder energetic person, so my friends would say i was literally karkat, which infuriated the hell out of me x)

classpects is one of my biggest interests in homestuck, i fucking love them so much, im such a personality wizard i will latch onto anything personality related so hard . theyre great for initiating 60 page analysis on favorite characters (or ocs) and are so amazing for characterizing ocs its crazy, and aswell as to just classpect friends or random funny shit . i love them !!

in fact once i made an entire analysis to my friends as to why mosquitos r thiefs of blood, and there were so so so many more reasons than just the funny idea of classpecting a mosquito something called "THIEF of BLOOD"

though what i think a lot of ppl forget though is that while yes theyre heavily based on personality, theyre based on narrative aswell, which is why a real person can never have 1 set classpect all throughout their life since we well dont know the narrative we live in, we dont know our paths or our conclusions or how we'll end up and thats an important thing to know when classpecting since the way to godhood in sburb is a personal journey to self improvement, yknow ?

(though ofc if u wanna classpect solely based on personality go right ahead . the world is yours)

in this era of my life id consider myself a maid of space (which is a cool as fuck classpect and gets me the coolest powers EVER !!!!!!), but 1-2 years ago i considered myself a rogue of blood, then a rogue of rage, then a rogue of space (i was very rogue-ey), plus a few others here n there, and if i were to classpect myself from 3-4 years ago i would be a witch of rage/blood

i just think seeing the way change happens and the way we can see that change through a silly lens such as classpects is cool . with the way my obsessions work im obviously gonna look at the world with anything that associates with my interests in the back of my head, so im gonna start classpecting something like a glass jar if i take a look at it, and thats fun as hell !!

ive changed a lot throughout the years just as everyone does and im gonna continue changing, so who knows what classpect i end up with in another year or two ! its fun to think abt

ill leave my thoughts with that but thanks for asking :.))))

[ceabu]

So.....just finished reading homestuck epilogue (candy)....I just...I don't know how I should feel...I absolutely love gamzee. But that Gamzee I hate the most. I hate Jane and I'm surprised that Gamzee is with her cause in some parts he does make some good points about her being a bitch. I sometimes wonder why doesn't he just leave??? And I hate Vriska and all but what he fucking did was absolutely fucking disgusting, he's like in his 30's and she is like I think 15?? Gamzee is just fucking gross in this. I actually never wanted him to die so badly in my life! I just wanted to rant

why would u read this shit in the first place anon!?!?! aosidfhao;sdhgadsg

i cant think of a worst way to waste ur time than to read that bullshit epilogue

i only read a little bit ( after dirk committed unalive ) that was it for me lol couldnt fucking continue it. and im glad i didnt lol cuz i was so sure that things will get better somehow?? ‘’certainly they worked hard for these 2 epilogues!! everything will turn out good in the end!!’‘ <--dumb naive past ceabu still had faith in homestuck back then

i dont know candy!gamzee and i dont wanna think about him. he is not canon. its just some random character LIKE CHANGE HIS NAME TO WHATEVER SHIT U WANT AND DONE. THATS NOT GAMZEE ANYMORE. and he never was in the first place. i dont look at the epilogues and think ah yes the true canon epilogues because thats not what they are

they are just some stupid stories made to antagonize the fans of a loved webcomic so they ( people working on it ) can get ( bad?? upset?? ) attention.

reading meat and a little bit of candy made me genuinely sick to my stomach. i cried and felt so so upset lmao i felt so many negative emotions for a thing i was so excited about ( it was my first up8 ) LOL

i do not give a shit about vriska and i never will. why is she 15 and gamzee 30??? wtf is up with that? actually no dont tell me i dont care

those are not the same characters i read about. homestuck2 can burn in hell for everything theyve done to their characters and fans. my respect for anything regarding homestuck faded a long time ago. i place my faith and love and attention on the fanworks. people who love the characters and give them proper care they deserve.

( sorry about this but yo girl is gonna go wild for a hot second )

NO BUT REALLY LMFAOO HOMESTUCK2??? EPILOGUES??? CAN SUCK MY FUCKING DICK LMAOOOO HOW DO U LOOK AT THIS STORY AND THINK UKNOW WHAT. IMMA MAKE IT WORSE

IS THERE SOMEONE WHO ACTUALLY LIKED THE EPILOGUES??????? IF THERE IS IDK WHAT TO TELL U MAN LOL GTF AWAY FROM ME

DIRK

JANE

GAMZEE

JADE

ROSE

KANAYA

WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO THEMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HELLO???????? DID WE READ THE SAME COMIC????????

ITS LIKE THEY TOOK A RANDOM GUY OFF THE STREET N WERE LIKE ‘‘WE’LL GIVE U 20 DOLLARS IF U LET US TELL U IN SHORT ABOUT THIS WEBCOMIC AND THEN U GET TO CONTINUE IT’‘ AND THE GUY WAS LIKE ‘‘UH SURE I HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO DO’‘ AND HE FUCKING WENT HAM BECAUSE HE DOESNT KNOW THE CHARACTERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

IM SO ANGRY AT THEM FOR WHAT THEY DID LOL!!!!!!!!!! FUCK THE EPILOGUES AND BEYOND CANON THOSE ARE BULLSHIT!!!!!!!!! DISGUSTING WORTHLESS STORIES THAT MEAN NOTHING!!!!!! WASTE OF EVERYONES TIME!!!!!!!!!!!! UKNOW WHAT I COULD HAVE DONE INSTEAD OF READING THOSE GOD AWFUL STORIES?? LITERAL ANYTHING LMAO ANYTHING I WOULD HAVE DONE WOULD HAVE BEEN BETTER THAN READING THAT FUCKING ATROCITY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WHAT THE FUCK U MEAN ROSE CHEATED ON KANAYA WITH JADE AND HAD A BABY NAMED SOMETHING DISGUSTING??????????/

WHAT DO U MEAN DIRK IS A IDIOT VILLAN THAT HAS TEREZI N ROSEBOT THAT HAVE A THING(???)

VRISSY?????????????/

HOW ABOUT!!!!!!!!! U MAKE A WHOLE COMIC ABOUT U!!!!!! SUCKING ON VRISKAS TOES LIKE THE DISGUSTING MAN U ARE INSTEAD OF FUCKING GAMZEE LMAOOOOOOOOOO AAAAAAAAAAAAA;OIHSDGOIHDSGNOISAHDGOASIDHG;ASIDGNVDPAIGHNADS;GIOHNDSAGV;OIASHD

ADIGNAPGIH I AM BEYOND ANGRY RIGHT NOW LMAOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FUCK U HUSSIE FOR RUINING THE OKAYISH ENDING U MADE HOMESTUCK HAVE

WE WERE ALL ROOTING FOR THIS SHIT TO BE GOOD AND U RUINED EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCK!!!!!!! U!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[macklives]

GAHKDHKAHD CRUSH???? CRUSH???????

[wallpapernacht]

there is no remaster of homestuck albums 1-5 bc humanity simply isnt ready for it

[rubynationwins]

So You Want To Tango? Part 2 (18+)

Stepbrother! Ransom Drysdale x Virgin!PlusSize! Reader (Soft!Dark!Ransom)

Series summary: All you were trying to do was lose your v-card, was that too much to ask? Apparently so, according to your stepbrother.

Main Masterlist

Part 1 Part 2

Chapter Warnings: Soft!Dark!Ransom, reader is a junior in college, plus-size!reader, virgin!reader smut, non/dud-con, fingering (f receiving), swearing, ransom being an ass, choking, manhandling, degradation, slut shaming, manipulation, angst, mentions of self-deprecation/body issues, stepcest. 18+ Minors DNI. DNR if you do not like or are triggered by such topics. Read at your own risk.

Word Count: 4,973

A/N: This part is a lot longer than the first, I guess that might explain why it’s taken me so long to fucking finish! But I did, woo-hoo! I also wanted to note that I've never written step-sibling stuff b4 this series so this is new territory for me. It's used more as a plot device and not as a 'kink' if that makes sense. I just wanted the kind of dynamic it creates & it works for me so whatever. (Fuck it, right?)  Like, comment, reblog, I always appreciate feedback so plz let me know what u think!

This story should not be posted anywhere else without my express permission.

(If anyone is confused about the timeline, reader arrived from college at the Drysdale residence on Friday, part 1 takes place on Sunday, and this part is about a week after part 1. Hope that helps!)

Thanks for reading!

-Ruby

It had been a week since the incident with Ransom and you had done your best to act like everything was okay, like your ex-stepbrother hadn’t shoved his tongue down your throat and threatened to take away your virginity. Unfortunately, it wasn’t as easy as you had hoped to forget his twisted words.

“I’ll be happy to teach you how to dance like the slut you were always meant to be.”

An involuntary shudder ran down your spine at the memory of the intense heat of his body pressed against yours as he spoke those vile words into your ear. Whenever your… interaction with Ransom popped into your head, you felt a deep course of shame roll through you. Not only at how he utterly humiliated you, and not just at how he’d so easily set your nerves aflame but at how his accusations had hit you right to your core.

“When you get to be your age without having a dick shoved up your needy little hole, you open your legs up to whatever comes your way.”

You despised his misogynistic slut-shaming, but a niggling at the back of your mind said he was right. You had only agreed to Tod’s proposition because you just wanted to get it over with. You were tired of feeling excluded from your peers, tired of feeling like you weren’t mature just because you hadn’t “popped your cherry,” as some people put it. That pressure seemed to outweigh your moral sensibilities because you had given it up to the first guy to show you some interest.

You hadn’t really liked him – he was one of Ransom’s friends for fuck’s sake – but when Tod came on to you that day it felt like your only option. Taking him up on his offer for a quickie in one of the guest bedrooms hadn’t felt like all your hopes had finally been answered, it had felt like you were giving up. Giving up on a real relationship. Giving up on having sex with someone you actually cared about and who cared about you too.

You had already been regretting your decision when Ransom had burst into the room and sent everything to shit, but that wasn’t any excuse for the way he’d treated you like some hussy. He didn’t own you. He wasn’t in charge of your body, or your sex life, for that matter. You gulped when, again, you recalled what he’d said.

“I’ll show you who really owns this cunt: me.”

Fuck him and his domineering, supercilious attitude.

The more you thought about it, the more you were convinced his “promise” had just been another way to mess with you. The fact that you hardly saw him this past week seemed proof enough. He was a lazy trust fund kid who barely had a job, it’s not like he had much to do other than lay around the house whenever he wasn’t off with his friends partying and being a playboy douche. He was definitely staying away from the house, and if you had to guess you’d have a pretty clear choice as to why: you.

He was avoiding you. If given the chance, you would be doing the same, but it’s hard to avoid someone when they’re not around. His arrogant ass was probably worried you would try and take him up on his “offer” and that he’d have to back down.

Of course, you would never do such a thing, but it was clear that he viewed you as nothing more than a wanton skank who was going to throw herself at his knees, begging for him to rescue her from the woes of virginity. What a fucking joke. At least his absence saved you the constant anxiety of looking over your shoulder and jumping every time you heard a door shut, afraid he would corner you and try to make good on his word.

It was obvious now that he didn’t actually want to fuck you, it had been the heat of the moment that made his body react that way – that made yours react that way. Not to mention, he couldn’t possibly be legitimately attracted to you. It was just the forbidden thrill that riled him up.

You didn’t look like any of the women he’d ever brought home, he cycled through plenty and you recognized a certain type he preferred. A type that you had, and never would, be able to fit into –  quite literally. That realization should have relieved you, but it somehow left a sour taste in your mouth. Whatever. The thing to focus on was that Ransom couldn’t give two fucks about you and the incident had just been a little blip.

With that confirmation in mind, you could walk around the house like normal and not act like some coward. Instead, you walked around confidently while internally wrestling with the feelings and images he had implanted in your head.

Sure, Ransom was conventionally attractive, handsome even, but beneath his well-defined stature was a rotted pile of bullshit. That’s what you kept repeating to yourself when the feel of his thick fingers digging into your ass flooded your mind. You replaced the sensation of his kiss that still lingered after how many days with the reminder of how many other mouths he’d shoved his tongue into before.

You were nothing to him, had always just been a footnote in his privileged path through life. The daughter of the woman who had replaced his mom and stole from the pot of gold he had amassed as an only child. You knew he looked at you and despised everything about he saw; your parentage, your background, your lack of original wealth. You weren’t worthy in his eyes. But that didn’t matter, because you regarded him all the same. ---------------------------------- It was Saturday night. The staff had the weekend off and Richard had left for some kind of overseas trip before you had even arrived last Friday.

Once again, Ransom was nowhere to be seen – thank god – so you had the house to yourself. While it was fairly large and isolating, you didn’t mind being alone in the cavernous home. On Tuesday, your stuff had finally arrived from college, so you’d taken up the guest bedroom furthest from Ransom’s.

When you left for college two years ago, your old room had been stripped of any trace of you. It was back to a pristine grayscale guest bedroom with navy accents and overstuffed furniture. Obviously, during all those years you lived in the mansion, you’d just gotten in the way of the Drysdale aesthetic of meaningless overpriced decor and detail.

Presently, you were in the kitchen, microwaving some popcorn for the movie you’d chosen to watch that evening. The popping of the kernels was loud and quick, and soon the smell of melted butter flowed through the room. A beep sounded to alert you that your food was hot and ready, so you opened the microwave door and plucked the now-inflated bag off the turntable. You held it at the corner, careful not to burn yourself, and turned around to grab the large, metal bowl sitting on the island counter.

You jumped when you saw the figure standing in the doorway.

“Whatchya makin, sunshine?”

Startled, you dropped the bowl and it tumbled to the ground, the clattering setting off even more alarms in your head. The popcorn bag had also fallen from your grip, and yellow-tinged kernels were strewn across the floor.

Ransom stood at the entrance of the kitchen, leaning against the doorframe. His eyes crinkled in amusement as he examined the scene, taking in the spilled popcorn and silver bowl still comically rolling on the ground, making a loud whooshing noise. Looking up, his wolfish eyes landed on you. He pushed off the doorjamb and stalked forward, monitoring your shocked expression from the other side of the counter. He stilled the spinning bowl with his foot, the room now filled with tense silence.

“Well, aren’t you the fucking chef, sunshine?” He made a show of once again looking at the scattered popcorn, “I don’t remember you being such a klutz.”

Your heart was still beating fast from the surprise of seeing him, but you scrunched up your face and hissed, “I’m not a klutz. You’re the creep sneaking up on unsuspecting girls and ruining their dinner. How can you be so massive and yet so silent?”

He grinned, “I’ll take that as a compliment, sunshine. Maybe I’ll take to cat burglary one of these days. But it was pretty easy to ‘sneak up’-” his fingers made air quotes around the label- “on you when you’re making such a racket in my kitchen.”

Your jaw clenched at his choice of words. He was always laying claim to things like that, making sure you knew you were just a guest; unwanted, at that. He always made it clear that this place was his and not yours. Which didn’t really bother you. You didn’t want his life.

You ignored his attempt at a dig and walked to the long cabinet in the corner of the kitchen that held cleaning supplies and grabbed a broom and dustpan. 

Ransom gave you a quizzical look as you swept up the fallen food, “What are you doing?”

“What does it look like? Cleaning.”

“Just let the help do that.” He actually sounded a bit baffled.

“They’re gone, it’s Saturday,” you stated bluntly as you swept the debris into a small pile.

“So? Leave it until Monday for them to take care of. That’s what they’re fucking paid to do.” His privileged tone dripped with sharp disdain.

You rolled your eyes. He was such a spoiled brat. “That’s how you get ants,” you said, secretly hoping your flippant tone would irk him. Inwardly, you were grateful for the task, though. You could focus on sweeping and not on Ransom’s intimidating form, or the memories it dredged up. “And I’m plenty capable of cleaning up my own messes. Although this was caused by you.”

Once you were certain all the popcorn was in a pile, you bent down, placing the dustpan on the ground and lightly sweeping the ruined food into it.

Ransom had been silent for a while, watching as you worked with a disapproving gaze, but when you bent forward, unknowingly sticking your ass out right at him, he changed his tune, “On second thought, you look pretty good as a maid.”

You scoffed and glanced back at him, eyes narrowed. He hid the glee that spread through him at your annoyance and pointed to a single kernel that sat right in front of his shiny brown shoes.

You stood back up and emptied the debris into the trash can hidden under the counter. “You have opposable thumbs and working limbs, why don’t you get it yourself?” 

“You’re the one who said you were perfectly capable of cleaning up your own mess,” he countered.

Heaving a sigh, you trudged up to him. You stared him dead in the eyes before crouching down and snatching up the tiny piece of popcorn. 

Your plan was to spring back up and flick it right into his stupidly good-looking face, but that was thwarted when a weighted hand pressed on your shoulder.

You looked up and Ransom’s blue eyes gleamed. “Why don’t you stay down there, sunshine? You look so perfect kneeling before me.”

A rush of heat flooded through you, but you batted his hand away, moving back slightly before standing up, successfully, this time.

“Ha. Ha. Ransom,” you tossed the last piece of popcorn into the trash as you walked over to the sink, “I know that you get some kind of sick amusement making misogynistic comments like that, but I’m not about to let your pompous ass intimidate me. Not again.” You turned your back to him and started washing your hands. The water was scalding, but you welcomed the distraction.

This time you would stand up for yourself. This time he wouldn’t catch you off guard. “So go back to whatever man-child frat party you came from and have fun with people who act just like you – drunk assholes with the mental capacity of 15-year-old boys who think being a dick is a personality tr-”

Two large, thickly veined, hands slammed down on on either side of you. They gripped the edge of the sink tightly, caging you in. You squeaked when you felt a domineering form hovering behind you. One of the powerful hands reached forward and turned off the roaring water of the faucet.

Hot breath prickled against your ear. “Looks like the little virgin’s finally got some balls,” Ransom’s low voice sounded sinister, even with his usual sarcastic bite, “I forgot how infuriating you usually are. Even though you play-act this strong, empowered, bitchy character, I know what you really are beneath all that big talk, and I miss that begging, distraught, wannabe whore.”

You flinched, feeling inside every bit as helpless as he accused you of being. You fought not to let it show, though, “Ransom, remove yourself from my personal space.” Instead of the strong, unbothered tone you were going for, your voice sounded hushed and weak.

His deep chuckle sent shivers down your spine. “Sunshine, what did I just say? Remember how the last time we saw each other, you were whoring it out in my home?” He shoved his hand between your thighs, cupping your mound. “All because this virgin cunt couldn’t last a single second more without being filled full of cock.” The heel of his palm dug into your pulsing core and your body curled forward, shocked by the sudden pressure. “I already told you that I’d give you the honor of losing that innocence to me, so I don’t see why we have to beat around the bush, so to speak.”

You clutched his hand and pried it away from your heat, not sure where you found the strength to do so. You pressed yourself against the sink, trying to leave as little room for another move like that as possible.

Instead of attempting to dive back in, Ransom rested his hand on your plush waist, squeezing tightly, “Still playing hard to get, huh? I know you want my dick inside you, sunshine.”

You shut out the millions of charged electrons shooting through you and blurted out, “Even if I wanted to have sex with you – which I absolutely do not – I don’t need some pity fuck from a two-pump chump like you. You could be the last person on Earth and I’d still rather die a virgin than let your limp little dick anywhere near me.”

Ransom stilled behind you, fully removing himself from your body. For a second you thought that was it, that he’d leave.

How foolish of you.

Strong hands gripped your hips and spun you around. Ransom dug a hand into your hair and pulled the locks tight. You felt the bite as they tugged at your scalp. Just like last time, his eyes suddenly lacked the mischievous glint that always seemed to shine in them. Instead, they were cold, sky-blue orbs. You could see a seething fire beneath his stoic face, only given away by the twitch in his left eye and the clench of his chiseled jaw.

He didn’t do anything though - not yet - he just held you there to cower before him, letting you become more and more fearful of what was spinning around in that twisted mind of his. You looked away but he shook the fist tangled in your hair, your eyes rattled in your skull as you brought them back to focus on him. 

He breathed in deeply, “Pity fuck, huh?” He used his grip on you to tilt your head back and forth, examining your frightened features, “That’s what you think I’m doing, sunshine?” You gulped. He shook you again, “Answer me!”

“W-why else would s-someone like you be interested in m-me?” You squeaked out, hating the self-deprecating words, but not knowing how else to combat his advance.

His eyebrows turned up in something you assumed was supposed to convey sympathy. “Oh sunshine, that’s real cute. You know, I thought this shy, self-conscious shit was just an act to turn me off, but you actually don’t see what you do to me?”

He brought his other hand up and stroked your chin, grazing your jaw as he traced some invisible line down your neck. “Besides, when have I ever been known to show pity?” He spat the word out like a curse as his fingernails scraped your sensitive flesh.

His look of pure fascination as he watched his hand’s descent baffled you. You pushed your thighs closer together, unsure as to why his expression sent heat rushing between them. His ghosting fingers came to a stop right over your heart and he splayed his fingers out, palm flat against your sternum. He stared at his hand as it moved up and down with the rhythm of your breaths.

“Sunshine, I don’t know when and I don’t know how, but I can’t keep my eyes off of you. And even when you’re not around, you still won’t leave my fucking head. It infuriates me. That this girl that stumbled into my life, this nothing, suddenly flipped a switch in my brain. I mean, I’ve fucked plenty of chicks in my day, even went out with a lucky few, but none of them have done what you do to me.”

His other hand moved to grip your waist, kneading the soft slope. “I’ll be the first one to agree that you’re not the stereotypical type of woman I keep around, but maybe that’s just another reason every time you enter a room I lose sight of all reason.” His fingers bit into your soft flesh as his grip tightened. “I lose my fucking mind, sunshine, and it’s all your fault.” 

You didn’t know what to say. All you could do was stare at him helplessly as his hand on your chest curled up to wrap around your throat. His eyes blazed with desire as he squeezed, leaning forward so that his lips brushed yours.

The way he was acting scared you more than him cursing and berating you. That you understood, that you could fight. But this? This spelled more than a one-time thing, more than misplaced desire or hate fucking. There was a possessiveness in Ransom’s eyes that terrified you.

Even more than that, though, his actions had your mind and body in overdrive. No one had ever wanted you like this before, and the fact that it was someone with an icy heart like Ransom, made you feel almost special in some fucked up sort of way.

Everything was wrong. You needed to get out of there. You shook your head and brought a hand up to pull at his wrist. “N-no Ransom, you don’t actually like me. You just like the idea of fucking someone who’s off limits and I’m off limits for a very legitimate reason-”

His hand moved from your throat to your mouth, muffling your protests. “Sunshine, you always make it perfectly clear that we’re ex step-siblings. Besides, it’s not like we were raised up together, it’s really not that big of a deal. But you’re not wrong completely, it does make this all the more enticing - and I bet you feel the same way, too.”

His hand returned to your core, this time diving past your waistband and into your panties. You shrieked, again grasping at it in an attempt to remove the appendage. It was buried in there though, so your attempts were futile and when he ran a finger along your slit you convulsed. Your body wasn’t used to this kind of sensation. It wasn’t used to any attention like this.

His sadistic laugh echoed off the sterile kitchen walls, ringing in your burning ears. When the fingers that had been rubbing through your folds, playing with the embarrassing amount of slick, moved to your clit, you lost touch with reality. The sodden digits working over your coursing bundle of nerves in rough circles was sending shocks through your system.

You cried out at the sparks and Ransom grinned. “That’s right Sunshine,” His fingers plunged into your drenched pussy as his palm ground into your clit. “Only I can make you feel this way.” You quivered against his touch, already feeling the pull of your orgasm. “You think any 20-something college shithead is gonna touch you like I do or make you cum like I’m about to?” 

You pressed your eyes closed, trying to drown out his words and focus on the magic happening between your thighs. You tried to imagine it was anyone but Ransom touching you. He grasped the side of your face, turning you to look at him.

He jostled your eyes open again and you gasped at the intensity in his darkened eyes, the pupils overshadowed any of the icy blue they usually held. “Answer me.” His grip was bruising and pulled your focus from his relentless toying underneath.

You gulped, not wanting to say the words, but the need for release beat out your pride in the end, “N-no, Ransom, only you.” The words felt heavy on your tongue but your mind was clouded with electric sparks as he curled his fingers up into your g-spot.

A garbled cry fell from your lips at the new pressure and Ransom swallowed it with his mouth as he lunged forward, arresting your moans with his own as you locked lips. His teeth bit into your lower lip until they broke skin, the slight tang of blood mixed with spit as he dragged it into your mouth, caressing your tongue with his own as he growled at the taste and feel of you. 

His fingers followed the motions of his tongue as they both explored all that you had to offer. His hand dropped from your face and moved down, roaming over the expanses of your skin. He pressed it against the soft curve of your belly, and you made a disapproving sound, your hand coming up to pull his away from the parts of you that you didn’t want anyone to know about, nonetheless touch. He growled a warning and batted your hand away.

“Mine,” he grumbled into the harsh kiss and continued to run his large, warm hand over you, over all of you. He took his time to squeeze and caress every part of you that you always hid away as if to force you to acknowledge that the feeling of his heated palm and deft fingers actually felt incredible. It made you feel desired in a way you hadn’t before, a way that made your knees weak.

His long fingers were pumping in and out of your aching pussy, the squelching sound that filled the room made you both ashamed and turned on. Your breath hitched when he focused back on your clit again, his fore and middle fingers dancing around it as you started to shake in his strong embrace. You felt lightheaded as Ransom dragged you to the edge, your feet scrambling for purchase because you didn’t know what was going to happen when you inevitably came. You had never experienced such a crushing, overbearing tension in your abdomen before, the pressure made your body tense like you were a live wire about to spring.

Ransom buried his fingers in your pussy again as his other hand ceased its exploration of your generous curves and came to join it at the apex of your thighs. He settled his fingers on your bundle of nerves and once more began his blissful torment. He worked his hands independently as one pistoned into you over and over at an agonizing speed and perfect angle and the other attacked your clit. His endless teasing was pure torture as he rubbed the pulsing nub, not letting you build on a simple incline but bringing you up and down over and over as he kept switching between determined, heavy pressure and feather-light touch.

His mouth was still devouring yours. It was like he was taking control of your entire being, working your body in a way that only he knew how, removing your autonomy from the equation. He was showing you that he was the only person who could bring this kind of soaring pleasure to you, not even your own hands could do what he was doing. It was as if he was inside your brain and knew just how to light up every one of your nerve endings.

He wrenched his lips away and you let out a lewd cry as he ran his teeth down your exposed neck, nipping and slurping as he went. Your hopes that he wouldn’t leave a visible mark vanished when his teeth bit into your pulse point and he sucked. You had always found hickeys to be vulgar and unnecessary, but the sound and heat made your knees weak. 

Your voice was a mix of unintelligible sounds and a tumble of expletives and even Ransom’s name. Every time his name spilled from your lips, he pressed into you even further, which seemed impossible at that point.

He finally stuck with grinding his fingers against your clit fully as he added another thick digit to the two that were already thrusting in and out of your quaking pussy. He’d been keeping you at the crest of your peak for who knows how long. All you knew is you would say anything - do anything - for him to make you cum right now, and that sentiment played across your lips in a garble of wanton pleas.

He must have been able to decipher the mumble of your slurred words because he stilled. You whined, your hips bucking up, but he stilled you with a flat palm to your abdomen. A low laugh brushed across your collarbone as he licked his way back up to your ear. His hot breath sent tingles along your spine as he whispered, “You better remember that promise, Sunshine. Begging for an orgasm like the little cockwhore I always knew you were. My little cockwhore,”

You couldn’t combat his claims, heat flamed across your face at his cutting words. They felt true at that very moment, even though the part of you that detested him screamed at you to deny him. “But, who am I to resist when you beg so nice and pretty for me? Go ahead, I’ll give a fucking slut just what she wants, Sunshine. Give my pussy what she needs.”

With that, his fingers thrusted back into your hole, curling up as his other hand’s fingers practically vibrated against your aching clit. 

You screamed as your orgasm overtook you, it blasted through your body in a strike of lightning that shook your bones and boiled your blood. There was nothing else there as the world collapsed around you, you couldn’t even hear the satisfied laughter of Ransom as you drifted through a fucked-out abyss.

Your legs fell out from under you and Ransom pulled you closer, grinding his hard-on into you, groaning into your ear. In the back of your mind, you knew it was wrong, but you couldn’t help the muffled, “Thank you, Ransom” that flew from your mouth as his fingers worked you through your peak.

It felt like hours before you finally came down from your high, Ransom’s hand still buried between your thick thighs. He couldn’t remove it if he wanted to, not with how tightly you clenched around it. His free hand came up and brushed away the hair sticking to your sweaty brow, gazing at your still panting form.

He gripped the back of your neck and yanked you into another searing kiss before he bent down to your neck again and bit into the mark he’d already made, sucking even harder to make sure the bruise would last. “Mine,” his low voice grumbled, as he lapped at the mark.

He licked his way up to your ear before he spoke in a clear voice, breaking you from your reverie, “Gotta run, sunshine-” he managed to finally pull his hand from between your still trembling thighs. He wiped his drenched fingers on your shirt, staining it with your essence- “don’t get me wrong, I’d love to stay and continue the fun, but I’ve got a date with a hot piece of ass from my gym named Vanessa.” He spoke the name like it dripped molten gold.

For some reason, your heart sank to your stomach at his words.

He fully removed himself from you, straightening out his tight fitting, thin, sweater and rolling down his sleeves. His eyes raked over the messy, cockdumb state he’d put you in, a self-satisfied smirk played at his lips.

He checked his watch before he continued his cutting speech, “I’m already running late, not that she’ll mind though, it is me, after all.” He palmed his cock, shifting it in his straining pants. “Might have to skip dinner and head right to dessert, if you know what I mean,” he winked at you as he sauntered out of the kitchen.

Before he turned the corner, he paused, glancing back at you with fire in his eyes. “I’ll see you around, sunshine. You’re gonna have to return the favor, after all.”

With that, he exited your vision, the sound of his measured steps echoed off the hallway walls and rang in your head as you sunk down to the floor. Tears ran down your cheeks, unbidden by you, and you let out a shaky cry as you were once again left to wallow in guilt and shame and insatiable desire by Ransom fucking Drysdale.

[simmonsized]

Okay, I was going to write something about how I was happy about how you approached the subject matter with Bro and Dave in TRaG

But

My mind suddenly remembered what their sprites freaking look like.

I think about Bro Strider a lot (along with the complexity of the other characters) and then *boom*, I remember what he looks like in the comic.

Damn you fanart!!!!

TBH i was just showing my friend some of the homestuck pages to be like "look do u see do u see" and of course they're just like. their dumb big heads and lil bodies but somehow that just makes it all the better bc i know sO many people who are like "I couldn't get into homestuck because nothing happens" and i'm like yes but nothing happens in a SATISFYING way anyway their sprites are dumb but i still love them

ALSO: you were "going to write something" but you have already said enough to set me on my path here we are grab my hand welcome to nam etc etc etc

This really only encompasses Dave the God's relationship with Bro but like. It'd be too long to talk about Dave the Used to Be Sprite so! Forgive me.

WARNING: this post is 2000 words, I cannot and will not cut it shorter. If it's killing your dash, I'm begging you, mute me, or block the post.

Here we go!

Okay, so the thing is, when it comes to Bro, I have a really complicated history with him. Because obviously for YEARS he was the fandom darling, and we all kinda brushed off the fuckin' training and shit because that's just like, anime hullabaloo, the concept that he was preparing Dave for the game, but then also, when you take a step back and look at it, it's not like Dave KNEW there was a game at all??? and like. okay so just straight up right now i'm saying this FUCK hussie but these particular notes in book 2 of homestuck

kinda really changed things about the way we look at Bro as a person, as well as Dave's conversation with Dirk, though that comes along later. No comment on that line about Bro apparently """training""" Dave to take on the final boss. Because. Well. Lmfao. (Notes above are from Beatdown Rounds 1 and 2 in book 2 of Homestuck)

Enter: Dirk and Dave's conversation, basically the beginning of my insane deep dive into all things Strider, and dealing openly with abuse, past abuse, and recovery from that abuse.

obviously I cannot post the whole convo, it's easier for people to just read it BUT some highlights for context:

The start of it for me of course was "and he's dead now so that's that"

which is like. Kind of how it actually is when you have a parent (or insane older brother who is actually your parent) who dies but you're unable to EVER discuss your relationship with them or even confront them on all the horrible shit that went down, if you ever get to that point at all.

And because Bro was like, basically a giant fucking deadzone of just. Nothingness in terms of Dave's brain, when it came to any kind of positive emotion, it just??? Man that's one of the most interesting things about their relationship to me. Dave says "i think he hated me" but it really feels like, from their conversation, the fact that Bro did not express any kind of emotion at ALL led to what Dave felt must be fucking LOATHING. Man. I feel terrible for typing "and i find that fascinating" but i do so. lol

Insert "violent robot" comment here lol

also i know people have Opinions about Bro and his smuppets but tbh I don't want to fucking hear them when Dave was running around with a tiny smuppet butt walkytalky on his fucking wrist and also, when Dirk, mr "They're a funny little critter of your own design" Strider is sitting right fucking there so. Anyway that's all u need to know about that.

okay i lied i'm posting like the whole conversation i realize that u know but it's just

man it's right there lol

i LOVE that Dave associates Bro with the concept of heroism and being a savior of some kind, because in truth, it is likely that beneath all the bullshit, and even in line with the fear, there is a good chance Dave did admire Bro, to a point, until he had time to sit back and realize, "hey, what the FUCK was up with my childhood??? and wait, this isn't actually funny at ALL."

What's (not) funny to me is that, I don't much think of Bro as the kind of person who saw himself as a hero at all, and I say as much in RNG, but for him, and yes, this is a fucked up thing to say, I see it as: he saw raising Dave as A Job He Needed To Do, and everything in between Didn't Matter. We'll get more into this and the Dirkesian aspects of Dave's upbringing, even without Lil Cal, if anyone ever asks me about my genuine honest to god Bro Strider Personality Discourse but like. Basically dude's hells of about efficiency, and this is evidenced in the way that Dirk tends to push his friends, sometimes past the point of their personal comfort levels, in order to achieve a goal. I hardly feel like I'm reaching here.

And you know it does matter to me, that even though he is saying this to Dirk, he still says, "I didn't like you very much" because it's SUCH a thing with complicated relationships, it's SO much ingrained in our upbringings to love our parents, even if they completely fuck us up, irreparably. Am I saying that you HAVE to love your abusive parent??? dude FUCK no like, everyone's situation is different and there are always going to scenarios where broaching the subject is impossible, or something you don't want to do but

Well. It's my fucking fic and my take so! I have decided we're doing it, we're making it happen etc

Enter: Lil Cal and the potential for?????? Whatever was going on there

Obviously in RNG we take Lil Cal and Caliborn's tendency towards disgust for any kind of positive emotion, platonic or otherwise, and like, ok not to shit on caliborn i know that guy is just a little kid but lil cal is like, basically intended to be representative of Bad Things in the homestuck world so it's like. That's where we're at u know. Gestures above where it says "theoretically the most evil doll to exist in any universe ever" And u know yes this doll also had AR inside it, as well as Equius so???????? Fucking dude who KNOWS what's goin on with lil cal. Nothing good?????? Anyway

So then now that we have all this context, we take Dirk Strider, and we isolate him even further than previously thought possible, we give him the "theoretically most evil doll to exist in any universe ever," we wind him up, we watch him go.

That creates a baseline for my own personal little Bro guy which is "Dirk Strider with a Singular Purpose" and whose purpose was only to "Raise Your Player to Survive The Game" with a side of, man part of Dirk's still gotta be in there because holy fuck does this guy LOVE PUPPETS. which is fine u know. puppets i mean. muppet references. wow.

Bro Thoughts, Bro in Relation to Dirk, etc. U know how it be.

OKAY SO: starting with "It doesn't change my past or how I feel about him.... and I'm sure that's the only feeling I'll ever have about him."

For me, this is an easy thing to say when this person is dead. It's exTREMELY EASY to say when you will never see this person again, or have a confrontation with them, or even have to like, address it in regards to an interaction that hides your true feelings but you know, deep down, that they hurt you.

Basically, homestuck ended, I'm happy Dirk and Dave met in the middle with something like Understanding and Solidarity, but I just. Was so angry about Davesprite. And also wanted to get all up in the relationship between the Daves and Bro SO, SO SOSOSOSOSOOO BAD.

So then I did!

And basically, along with being a guy with no purpose, who, for all intents and purposes, would literally rather be dead, it's super interesting because like. Bro is Dirk, and I know people vary on mind control versus influence, but I like to lean into the concept of some kind of Influence, or PUSH but also that Bro was very much in control of his actions, and knew, to a point, that he was doing what he was doing. I just genuinely don't think he believed it was wrong, or if he did KNOW it was wrong, he was not going to stop, because at the end of the day, he was seeing results. Is that cruel??? yes. Is it cruel to both of them???????? hell yes. But efficiency and work and results are the baseline for a successful session, and that's uh.

I think of Bro as a man of just like. Pantshittingly terrifying Control, a dude who not only cares about results from Dave, but from himself, and whether that's Cal or Dirk talking, who really knows!

think all the time about the time Hussie said that Bro has never slashed Dave with his sword. I know the fandom doesn't mention it much lol but it's always on my mind. No, punching and kicking your teenage bro-son is not better. But it's fascinating, that that's where he chose to draw the line.

Perhaps because as they said, sword strikes tend to end in people's deaths. Hmm.

Anyway since the Thesis of RNG is based around Reconciliation, but not necessarily forgiveness, at least not as an outright stated thing, we see a lot of just. Talking in circles, circling the drain, over and over. Naval gazing, I love it. Can you tell???

The thing with past abuse, about loving a parent who hurts you, is that you can still love them, after they hurt you, and You do not Have to Forgive them, but you can still love this person, and you can see hope to and seek change. You can still want a relationship with this person.

It's important to me that Bro seeks forgiveness. It is not Dave's (either of them) job to forgive him. There is a reason that (spoilers sorry) Bro says sorry in chapter like, fucking 14, but the fic keeps going anyway. "Sorry" is the beginning. "Sorry" is the start on a path towards better things.

Along with all this is Bro learning to be a person who no longer has a job to do. He's learning to be Dirk Strider again, something he hasn't really reckoned with since he was maybe, what, 13 years old?? His entire life has been dedicated to serving The Timeline, while not necessarily even being connected to his own aspect, at least not in a healthy way, and like. Once again this is not a Post About Bro Strider but bro in context of Bro and Dave so u know, but I do, again, see the guardians as the worst reflections of the kids themselves, and that goes fucking quadruple for Bro! He is the fucked up heart guy who severs connections and is tied up with strings, it is him.

On top of recovering personhood, though, he is also reconciling with (two of the same) a kid he not only abused, but potentially never loved, at least not in a way that makes sense to Dave, or sometimes to the reader. There is resentment, and there is frustration, and there is something to it, losing your own life at the expense of raising a kid. Yes, it's a comic about a video game, but I'm writing a fanfiction, and there is definitely something like overlap, in ineptitude and parenting from a young age. I still believe they had good memories, examples we see in the text where Dave talks about how he and bro had rap battles that were just throwing shit at each other's heads with their sylladices (dangerous) and like, building forts and shit. There is still softness, in the places in between.

But there was cruelty, too, and that's obviously the forefront of the whole situation, and it's so important for Dave to be brave enough to call his Bro out, to demand change, and it's important that Bro WANTS to connect with him, even if he doesn't know how. Even if he's so fucking shitty and sucks SO much.

Obviously a lot of what we learn is from Dave's perspective, and a lot of that comes at the marvel of, wow my Bro is back, and the concept of like, the Ultimate Reward being what the players wanted, and in RNG canon (fake) basically the kids just wanted to fucking. go home lol. John at least definitely deserves to have his dad back!

But Dave's (both daves) not just a little kid anymore, he's had 3 years of development and change and growth, and he has a way of looking at the world that differs vastly from how he grew up. Bro, someone he never knew but felt he knew, and then lost and didn't know all over again, is suddenly a Big Unknown, and that's??? fucking scary! Trying to reconcile with a person you love and fear is one thing, but doing that when you're learning you barely know them as a person at all, particularly because they were like, Just Your Guardian and you'd only known them from the shitty little kid perspective?? makes it tough. It's easy to say "i wish you were dead" it's hard to admit "I don't wish you were dead, I just wish you were better" and! That's kind of where we start lol

RNG has a lot of "three steps forward, two steps back" and as much as that frustrates people (and trust me, I see the comments, I know lol), that's just the way life is sometimes. They're on a set path, and Bro has to fucking learn not only his lesson, but that he can't just change because Dave(s) wants him to change. He has to change because HE wants to change, too.

[candyredterezii]

idk why but i never could ship kar/rezi? like i loved their dynamic as friends but the ship never really managed to 'hook' me. it did break my heart that there was a whole ass retcon and all they did was bring back vriska to make her terezi's number 1 most important relationship. idk it just felt kinda... underwhelming? like we got 0 closure and i know it's like that with friends irl, people often do just grow apart but like, they were so fucking close and had so much and for it all just to be poof, gone, and nobody talks about it. the only times i see them brought up is to be like "haha can you believe karkat had a crush on her? super weird right?" and i just want them to idk acknowledge each other after everything they've been through

'haha can u believe karkat had a crush on her weird right?'

like do u understand their relationship at all LOL

THEY WERE SUPER DUPER CLOSE... like karkat cared so much for her well being and she with his.

she kept his mutation a secret despite it being something she could be culled over, and he wanted her to move in next door so he can keep an eye on her cus he worried bout her being alone in the woods all the time she uplifted n supported him when he needed it karkat looked up to terezi IMMENSELY

they were besties. literally besties.

like romantic or not you can't just ignore the importance they had for each other but people... do?? because???

its such a disservice to both of them and i hate they never got closure and ill never forgive hussie and ill beat them to a pulp myself

[dashnite]

What pumpkin released a really comprehensive email explaining the money issues for game 1. They also explained that Sarah did not work for them during the time she is speaking about and its 100% speculation. They got scammed out of almost all of their budget with the first game making company, then when they 'fired' them for lack of progress over the year, and the way they dodged meeting with Hussie in person the entire time, they did not get even close to what they expected in their refund. This refund was supposed to be the budget for the new company, which went on a freeze for rebudgeting then shut down due to inner conflict. There's a post on Tumblr where someone shared the entire email if you want the full story.

Pt 2: Ok my brain didn't connect the correct part of your post amd immediately thought Sarah was the one who was fired, but she is not. But by her own admission on the video her original source about the odd gentleman stuff is unreliable and incorrect. Her new source explained things and she has removed the link to any info provided by them, including the article link.

it’s not incorrect, it’s just unreliable for some people, but i 100% believe gio’s account of what happened because that shit was sourced and researched. Also, you gotta admit that 1. is kinda sus that kate at the homestuck 2 team and/or TOG are threatening the creator of the video (sarah) with legal action. follow that with a LOT of people leaving ur team recently and you have yourself in a pretty spotty situation. 2. the patreon was only to be funded for homestuck 2, but hussie himself tells in a update that the money is being used in pesterquest and hiveswap? *narrows eyes* sure, susan. and 3. from a purely game designer perspective (i went to college for this yall), you CANNOT HAVE ANYTHING DONE WITHOUT A GDD. that is the prime document that the entire team has to follow and it must be so detailed as to involve how programming is gonna go, how level design is gonna go, puzzles, art, EVERYTHING. TOG not receiving said document and working on assets for act 7, then being fired and going on doing king’s quest (which i imagine had proper documentation), then the sudden shutdown of the NYC studio where people were literally learning about them being fired via a blog post??? with no severance pay??? yikes

here is a summary of events, as u/artificialn0cturne posted on the discussion thread, and explain things way better than i do:

here is the link to the imgur gallery

now, what i personally believe? andrew hussie bit WAY more than he could chew, had no fucking idea how to produce a game from scratch, wasted time and money fucking around and opening a fancy office in NYC for work that was COMPLETELY scraped at the end, and didn’t fulfill the promise to his backers/pledgers all those years ago. this was a damn scam, and a huge one if you ask me.

[probablydinosaurs]

eh ik it was like. hold on *googles* 2012. the internet was different and ik they were created out of spite towards fans who kept nagging and outside of meenah and  Aranea , hold 0 plot value outside of being flesh muppets for a army but. god the dancestors are the most outdated, poorly written characters ive ever seen and i just want to scoop them all up, give any really shitty ones (aka mainly  cronus lmao)  redemption arcs, give mituna actual respect as a disabled autistic person instead of being a beyond ablest af sick joke character, tone down Damara’s “sexy Japanese girl” tropes and just turn her more like  Porrim/ how she was portrayed well she was with scratch (was that her? I'm still very unclear who that was) and overall just make them actual characters and not insulting internet stereotypes. like all the homstuck cast are such but they have nuance and depth on top of being internet tropes. this cast was just hussie making fun of his fans, the internet and autistic people well he was at it. like ik all of homestuck has issues. u can make a drinking game of how many r words there is in acts 1-5 but those i can write off as dated 2009-12 internet. the  dancestors is a whole 10 characters (not including meenah and aranea since they had plot) that he just threw in and were drained of anything but shitty behavior. the only 2 good things that came out of the  dancestors is that 1: we as fans can say fuck canon and add depth and 2: dante basco actually voiced  Rufioh for the homestuck fandub. like that probs wasnt cheap but so worth it. 

[m39]

Pesterquest: Finale Volume

We did it.

maniacal giggling

It’s all done!

short maniacal laughter

Pesterquest is done!!

maniacal laughter

You slap yourself to come to your senses

I’M SORRY! I’m sorry. Okay look, there is so much stuff to talk about the finale volume. Like this character appears and that thing happens and this and that yadda yadda yadda! Let’s face it, this shit is top tier spoiler heavy so if you didn’t buy Pesterquest already, do it now as I’m saying and go back after finishing it. I’m giving everyone who has an allergy for spoilers 5 seconds.

5…

4…

3…

2…

1…

IT’S ON NOW!!

Okay, first of all, Dirk himself.

He deserves everything after all of this shit from The Epilogues; honestly, all of those things after the original comic made me like Alpha Dirk more. The fact that you can make him flip off Doc Strider is satisfying as fuck. Speaking of Doc Strider:

Ha!! Look at this bitchtit on the left! He wants us all to believe he’s a stonker but in the reality he’s thinner than a Twix bar! Haa Haa Hee Hee Hoo Hoo Haa Haa Hee Hee Hoo Hoo Haa Haa Hee Hee Hoo Hoo… sigh He will end up castrated, I can tell you that.

Now there is another character to talk about it but there is one thing to discuss before.  Before this Volume I thought that it was Doc Strider who erased MSPAReader’s memories of Friendsim and Homestuck but it turns out it was not him (I think he gave them their HS memories back). It was her all along:

Yeah, Hussie’s personal right hand herself, Aysha, appears in the Pesterquest’s Epilogue. Aaaand she’s basically female Huss… with wife.

And so after almost 7 months of content, it’s over. We had laughs, we had cries, we had yet another adventure that had to come to the end. All of the main characters (asides Cherubim) befriended, their life is (somewhat) better and this universe/timeline is now under our protection.

We are its First Guardian.

I would like to thank Andrew Hussie for creating Homestuck, Aysha U. Farah and her team for creating this game, and all of you for reading my final re-

You suddenly stop talking. There is something that is bugging you.

Wait… Hang on a second. What did The Director say earlier?

Hold the fuck on!

The music starts building up.

…

No…

…

No. no. no. no. no. no. no. no. no. T-t-there can’t be the next one! It all ends up perfectly! She is clearly talking about Homestuck^2!!

Nervous laughter

No wait!! I-i-i-it must be H-h-h-h-Hiveswap and its 2nd act!!

More maniacal laughter

With realization that there will be third game featuring MSPAReader, you start laughing like Father Grigori while the music reaches its most popular part.

THE RIDE NEVER ENDS!!!! FOR WE ART UNWORTHY OF THE HAPPY ENDING!!!!

WE WILL BE CHAINED UP TO HELL THAT IS HOMESTUCK UNTIL WE END UP AS A FOOD FOR THE HUSSIE’S MAGGOTS!!!

THE END IS NEAR!!!!

Maniacal laughter… once again

THE END IS FUCKING NEAR!!!!!!!!!!!

You run out of your room, screaming about the end of the world when that other Liquid Bogan takes your sit.

Bogan: I̸̯̎ ̶̢̏ẇ̷͓o̵̡͒ǔ̸̧ḽ̷̍d̸̛̬ ̵̦̎l̷̹̓ì̸̧k̴̯͑e̵͈̓ ̴̫͋t̴͎̄ȍ̷̜ ̵̘̂ḁ̸̓p̴̜̽o̷̲̅l̷̺͘ó̷̥g̴̪͐ḭ̷͂z̸̼͗e̸͖̎ ̸̯̎f̵̠͂o̴͎̓r̴̘̈ ̸̡̈́m̴͕͠e̶̲̕ ̴͎̈r̷̪̓ỏ̸͜ȯ̵͓m̴̨̌m̴̹̓a̸̻̎t̶͚͒e̶̛̹s̸̊ͅ ̷̫͐b̴̠̈́e̷̙͆ȟ̵͔ȃ̸̦v̵͊ͅi̴̹̾o̵͙̍ř̷͇.̵̭͂ ̵̠̈́H̴͓͘ȅ̵̠ ̷̬̄p̵͈̍l̵̝̀a̸̟͠y̸̨͂ẻ̶̱d̷̮̀ ̷̛͕E̷̜̎t̴̬̉e̵̪̾r̵̹̚n̴̬͆a̵͇̚l̴͖̃ ̴͎̐D̸͈̆Ò̴̪O̴͇̊D̶̪̐ ̸̮̒s̸̜̔o̶͔͗ ̴̬̌h̵̜̋a̵̛̠r̷͚̽d̵̜͝,̴̣͝ ̶̰͌h̷͖̀ḭ̸̆s̴̤͒ ̵̗̿p̴̩̎ò̶̝w̷̲̃ë̸̼́r̷͈̀ ̸͓̏s̴̘̓u̵̦̽p̶̳͒p̴̢͘l̶̻̐y̸̝̔ ̶̤̍è̴̠n̵͎̎d̵̰̒e̷̜͝d̴̗͐ ̸̻̉ű̶̠p̷͙͂ ̸̥̃w̶̼̕i̸͑ͅt̵͖̎h̶̛͕ ̵͎̀ȯ̴̫ņ̵̈e̵̬͆ ̶͔̀f̵̫̚o̸͎̐o̶͙̒t̴̫̓ḛ̶͘s̴̯̾ ̴̤͐i̵̬͛n̸̺̋ ̶̙͐A̷̯͘b̴̘͐r̷͉̽a̴̰͆ȟ̴͔à̵͇m̴̔͜’̶̐͜s̷̯̉ ̷̲̾g̶̛̮â̶͓r̸̡̓d̷̙̄e̷̻͆ñ̴̝ ̶̔͜ǒ̵̭r̷̝̈́ ̵͎̇ș̵̒ỏ̵͓m̴̝̀e̶̳̐t̶͓̑h̵͕̆ï̶̳n̸̪̾g̸͕̀ ̵̼͛l̶̗̓i̸̫͒k̷̳̅ë̵̦́ ̷̠͠t̸͎̆ḣ̶̘a̴̧͝ṯ̸̂.̵̪̋ ̶̩̃I̶̛̹n̵̤̔ ̶̺̚o̵͑ͅt̸̓͜ḧ̵͚́e̴̠͋r̸̟͑ ̷͎̈́w̵̙͌o̵͙͗r̴̘̐d̴̝̀e̶̜͌s̵͚͒:̷͕̈́ ̵̳̂ĥ̷͇a̸̗͐l̵̙̂f̷̘̀ ̸͍̀d̸̰̽e̴͕̔a̷̭̍d̸̰͌.̸͓̎ ̸̣̌A̷̲̓n̴̰̍d̴̞͒ ̶͔̚t̵̯̒h̴̡̚a̷̠̽t̷̡̓ ̴͖͘m̸̹͒a̴̠͑d̷̨̈́e̶̬̊ ̶̹̉ȟ̵̰i̸̩̚m̶̡͝ ̷̳̿ğ̴̻ȯ̷͇ ̴̪͐c̸͈̔o̵̭̕o̴̤̓ĉ̵̦ő̷̘o̷̩̓ ̸̱͌f̵̫͒o̴͉̕r̸̪͂ ̷̻̀C̴͕͗o̴̭͝C̸̻̑o̴̘̒ ̸̡̊P̵̗͑ŭ̷̝f̵̪͗f̵̺͝s̷̝̆.̵̗̈

Bogan: T̷̼́h̸͓̄a̵͑͜ṋ̵͂ḱ̸͓ ̷̫̆ÿ̶͍́ô̸̤u̵̻͠ ̵̜̽a̴̫͑l̵̳̓l̸̔͜ ̴̫̈f̵̪͠ȍ̷̫r̷̞̂ ̶͖͆s̴̤͝t̴̢̎ä̴̤́y̷̦͋i̵͕̔n̶͈͝g̴̘̈́ ̵̫̍w̴̜͂i̷̬̒t̴̜͋h̶̛͚ ̵̟̈́h̷̗̀i̵͇͂m̵̢̆ ̵͉͐f̸̯̆o̸̜̎r̵̞̆ ̸̈ͅẗ̴̯́ḥ̸͐ọ̵̒s̵̜̍e̸̥͛ ̸̥̇m̷̥̑o̶̧̎ň̴̺t̶̢̓h̸̥͑ë̵̳́s̷̤̿ ̴̪̿a̶̮͗n̴͉̓d̸̖͂ ̸̲̅w̸̘͌e̵̱͊’̴͎͝l̷͔̏l̶̘͗ ̸͔̀ș̵̍ě̵̠e̸̳̎ ̷̗͝y̵̜͝o̸̯͂ú̷̬ ̵͖͑a̶̺͌l̵͖̅ĺ̴̗ ̸̘̊n̶̺̅è̵̱x̶̫͂t̷̙͛ ̵͈̇t̶̼̕i̸͕͒m̵͇̍ẹ̸̓.̷͉̈́

Bogan: G̵̹̿o̵̤͒o̸̪͆d̴̙͌b̸͙̓y̷̩̆e̶͎͘.̸̧̚

[clownsnake]

ok so my tl is all hussie hate please tell me what this man has done (so i can bully him as well)

Off the top of my head, he’s had a repeated habit of getting into controversies, what with:

-team special olympics. idk much to do with that but ppl have said tht it’s shitty and with that info + just judging by the name, I Do Not want to look it up. Idk if he apologized for it, i don’t care. if anyone wants to provide more info on this issue go ahead!

-saying that the homestuck kids are ‘aracial’ (already controversial & not a creative decision I agree with outside of podcasts & non-graphic novels) but then making the trickstermode versions of them ‘caucasian’ (idk if he made a great apology for that, but I think many POC fans were still upset even after his apology. Look it up & judge for urself wether he got to the heart of the issue)

-the epilogues. He made jane into a trump allegory, instead of just making Jade trans for the whole yiffany plot point he GAVE HER A DOG DICK, hired an incest shipper for the album art(? I think? I know there was an artist involved who ships prospitcest, I just dk if it was for album art or w/e) as well as someone who wrote bro/dave fics, general character bastardization upsetting a lot of people, and hired (in my opinion) very pretentious writers. Generally a dick move, aside from the morally fucked shit.

-hs2, continuing off of the dick move of the epilogues with yiffany! Minimal rosemary post-that flower shit (which is... you know, the biggest piece of lgbt rep in hs. This is just something tht irks Me, so if u don’t want to count that against him go ahead), more pretentiousness, and other shit I’m too lazy to bring up rn. There’s some dirt on some of the writers being shit (like Kate “im gonna post nudes on twitter where kids can easily find them, and scream about how much I hate children when I get called out for it” Mitchel, and optimistic “i said that anyone who disagrees with Kate should die” duelist), and their behavior doesn’t really dictate how I view hussie ASIDE FROM 1. The fact that HE hired them and 2. The fact that he’s Friendly with them. He willingly chose to associate with them by putting them in charge of his most successful work.

-skaianet controversy.. idk what the whole bs with that is, I didn’t read it, but apparently he made hitler related to the human cast of homestuck?? And aside from that it was just generally very insensitive? Like I said I didn’t read it, it wasn’t rlly worth my time, so if anyone wants 2 correct me go ahead. He retconned it & apologized for it so that was cool. Still fucked up tht he did that tho.

-the odd gentleman controversy. The story for a while has been that TOG stole hiveswap’s Kickstarter money for some other game, but recent allegation have been that 1. Hussie got TOG to make art for one of homestuck’s animations while they were being hired to work on hiveswap, thus wasting their time 2. TOG worked on a side gig, kings quest, while hussie wanted them 2 make art for him. TOG’s time was allegedly being wasted, so I allegedly back this decision. & 3. Hussie was apparently prone to last-minute decisions, like the 3D to 2D switch in hiveswap style. According to TOG’ claims, the 3D version of hiveswap act 1 was complete in 2014 and work on act 2 had already begun, when hussie suddenly decided hey! Let’s redo all this shit & make it 2D! It fits my ~artistic vision~ more. :) Again, we don’t know if TOG’s claims are true or if the claims of TOG stealing the Kickstarter money are true, but if TOG’s claims are true,,,,,, then hussie wasted their time And a million twelve year olds’ money that was given to the Kickstarter. I’m willing to bet that their claims are true, bc the timeline matches up with what we know, and this all seems.... very in-character for hussie. (Also idk TOG’ pronouns, rip. Someone plz let me know this info I don’t want 2 misgender anyone)

Wether or not you want to hold him accountable for any of this stuff, you gotta recognize the fact that he has made a habit of being a douche. I don’t trust him to avoid getting in controversies like this in the future, and I don’t trust him to make good decisions about homestuck from now on. The tone of the epilogues very much seems like it’s author fucking hates his creation & his characters, and if his burnout-fueled spite keeps on going the way it’s going, he’s gonna make more decisions just to piss of fans.

Tl;dr: hussie has repeatedly gotten into controversies, some of which aren’t properly apologized for, and I don’t trust tht he won’t do shit like this again. He just has bad vibes.

If anyone wants to correct me on anything, or add onto this go ahead! I’m in a rush rn so I can’t look things up 2 confirm stuff atm, I gotta get 2 class,, for more info I recommend checking out abraxas-calibrator’s blog! I learned a lot from searching thru there. (Also my memory is shit, so I probably definitely mixed some things up)

[wanderingpages]

CEO AU (Part 2), personal assistant wants to get a little more personal. An opportunity arises when a deal starts to go south.

Part 1 here

Part 3 here

Part 4 here

Part 5 here

Part 6 here

Part 7 here

Part 8 here

∞

My boss, Cardan Greenbriar, has his hand over my mouth. His face is inches away from me and I'm scared that if I exhale too deeply, my chest would brush his. His eyes are hard with warning when he says, “Don’t scream.” Of course, part of me wants to scream to spite him and another part of me is aware that I’ve definitely had this dream before, except I was less panicked and more flustered. Slowly, he eases his hand from my mouth and when I part my lips to speak, he narrows his eyes. “Good?” he asks cautiously.

“What,” I start quietly, “the hell is happening here?” he grimaces and I after a beat of silence, I pat my body down finding that I’m still in yesterday’s clothing. I let out a sigh but maybe it’s a little disappointed – he didn’t even cop a feel last night? “Why are you in my room?”

He lifts an eyebrow, “This is my room.” I glance around, and sure enough, he is not wrong in that statement. “And because you dropped your keys in a grate.” I vaguely remember this, along with me telling him we could just climb through the fire escape to which he just sighed and shoved me back into his car. I scrunch my nose and make a mental note to ask for the spare keys I gave my sisters. “You are such an idiot when your drunk,” he mumbles. “You didn’t even tell me your address, just got out of my car and threw your keys.”

“Huh,” I mumble, “That’s weird,” even though I’m certain I only did that to ensure I’d have to spend more time with him. I clear my throat and say, “You could have just checked my files for the address.”

He gives me an incredulous look, “Jude, I wasn’t going to drive all the way back to the office to search through your files. That’s a bit creepy – even I wouldn’t cross that line.”

I give him a deadpanned look. “But it’s totally not creepy for you to stare at me while I sleep?”

“I wasn’t staring.” Even though I remember waking up just four minutes ago to his gaze locked on mine and with the blackout curtains letting just a sliver of sunlight through the seams, only part of his face was not obscured by darkness, and obviously that scared the shit out of me. I keep this to myself, though, and instead press my palm to my forehead to stop the steady pounding I’ve been trying to ignore. “I was about to wake you up,” he continues. “We…we have some things to discuss.” A chirping noise stops him from train of thought and he pulls out his phone, making a face and saying, “I have to take this. You should probably check your messages too. I had to turn your phone on silent.” He nods to the spot beside me in the midst of the covers where my phone is tucked away.

I watch him leave through an open door before I grab my phone. I blink at the strenuous amount of missed calls and text messages I’ve received. Even a few company emails, I spot in the strain of things. I check the last text message that was sent two minutes ago, part of a group chat I have with my siblings.

Taryn: Holy shit, I fucking knew it!

Vivienne: Same, but I wish I didn’t have to find out through Page Six

Oak: Ew, who even reads that shit?

Oak: what are we talking about?

Oak: Can someone give me a ride to school?

Taryn: JUDE IS ENGAGED TO GREENBRIAR

Oak: OMG sis, u bagged Eldred?

Oak: That would make u his like 10th wife

Oak: does that make u ur boss’ mom?

Oak: u better have signed a prenup!!

Vivienne: Not that senile bastard! His son!

Vivienne: also they’re not married yet, it’s just an engagement.

Oak: Balekin???

Taryn: CARDAN!

Taryn: And I’ll stop by in 15 to pick u up.

Oak: Jude! u hussy! I'm so proud of u!

Vivienne: Why would you ever use the word hussy? You’re 16 not 60!

Oak: whatever ur just mad. Don’t u have some cupcakes to frost?

Vivienne: yes!

Vivienne: That’s why I was reading Page Six! Investors in the shop! But then I turn the page and see my SISTER!!

Vivienne: IS KISSING!!

Vivienne: THE HELL OUT OF HER BOSS!!

Vivienne: IN A CAR!!!!

Oak: drop that link sis.

Vivienne: [link]

Taryn: Jude when you have time, show us the ring!!!

Taryn: Holy shit, wait you didn’t tell our parents did you?

Oak: Dads gonna kill you

Oak: omg he might kill US for knowing

Taryn: we should create a diversion

Vivienne: yeah when he finds out, we can just tell him Oak got a girl pregnant

Oak: ??NO??

Taryn: perfect! He’ll be so furious at Oak, he’ll completely forget about Jude and Cardan!

Taryn: Its all good sis, we got your back.

Oak: WHAT ABOUT MY BACK???

Taryn: I'm driving your broke ass to school, am I not?

Oak: u got me there. Ok, ill take this one for the team.

If possible, my headache gets worse as I read through the thread a few more times, wondering if this is all just a fever dream. I try to twist at my ring out of habit but find that my thumb has missed it’s mark. I glance at my hand to see the ring my father gave me on the wrong finger and I feel myself pale a little. When I check my other messages, it’s from my coworkers and friends, all along the same wavelength. I let out a breath not seeing any from my father or step-mother. I convince myself that I can probably do some damage control and convince everyone it’s been a big misunderstanding or something.

I sigh and when I turn to the nightstand, I'm surprised to find a glass of water and two pills left for me. I take them as I stumble out of his bed and find my way to the bathroom. After I wash my face with the most tingly face wash ever, I use Cardan’s really fancy electric toothbrush out of spite. Of course, halfway through, I realize how gross that is and gag a little at the number of bacteria I just put in my mouth. I figure the toothpaste cancels it out or something.

I find him in his living room, back turned away from me and when I clear my throat, he holds up a finger, silencing me.

“Excuse me,” I’m affronted. He hangs up and turns in time for me to narrowly miss his head.

“Oh my god,” Cardan has a hand to his chest, staring at me with wide eyes. “I knew you’d try to kill me in the morning.” I threw the remote at him, he would have gotten a mild concussion if he hadn’t stepped out of the way so quickly. He’s so goddamned dramatic sometimes, I swear.

“PAGE SIX?” I scream incredulously as I look around his living room for something else to throw at him. When my eyes land on a vase in the center of his coffee table, Cardan curses.

“No,” he says, warningly. “Jude, I will fire you on the spot.” I narrow my eyes at him, daring him to do just that. He sighs in defeat and slumps against the wall. “Okay, okay, let’s all take a deep breath here, and calm down. Do you want coffee? I can get you some coffee. Maybe a bagel? I don’t think you ate much last night except for all the Oreo's you raided in my pantry.” He pats his pants and find his phone, probably ready to call his assistant to get said coffee and bagel. I fold my arms across my chest and wait for him to realize that I’m his assistant. “Oh,” he says quietly.

I roll my eyes, “Idiot.” I straighten my rumpled dress and smooth the mess that is no doubt my hair. The ring on my hand catches and slips off, falling to the ground. I frown; that rings never come off my hand. And then I realize it’s because it’s always been secure on my middle finger, and loose on my ring finger. I grit my teeth and yank it from the depths of his stupidly plush white carpet.

“Jude, we should talk about this.”

“Shut your mouth, right now.” I scowl at him, irritated that he failed to mention we’re in a stupid socialite magazine looking like horny teens. He frowns, looking at me annoyed. He must see the flare in my nose or the heat in my eyes because I don’t get to grab that vase. He has my wrists pinned to the walls, suddenly, his pressed up way too close for me not to have gross thoughts about him just unbuttoning –

“Jude,” he says in a warning tone. He quirks an eyebrow and his grip on me tightens. Seconds pass until my breathing evens out. “Are you okay now?”

“I want to shove your head in a toilet and give you the swirly you were deprived of as a kid,” I admit out loud.

He smirks, not paying mind to my threats. “So back to normal, then.”

“Why did we do that last night,” I sigh, resigned.

He pretends to deliberate. “Hmm, too much kombucha?”

I frown, “Not enough.” I glance away from his eyes, knowing I’d probably do or say something utterly regretful if I don’t and I look down at his nose instead. I’m hit with a wave of embarrassment as I recall something. “Did I… boop your nose?”

“You licked it too.”

My eyebrows shoot up, and I force back a smile, “You liked it.”

He grins right back, “I liked that other thing you did,” he leans down to whisper in my ear, his hot breath tickles my skin and I swear I melt. “You know, with your hips on mine?” I blush deeply, suddenly recalling too much of last night. After a second, he says, “you smell like me.”

I roll my eyes, “I might have confused your aftershave for face wash. Also, I used your toothbrush.”

He looks amused, “A bit unsanitary?” I shrug, wondering where my voice went. “Hmm,” he says quietly, as he releases my hands only to rest his palms on either side of my head, caging me in. I could duck under and be free, but for some reason, I’m glued to the wall. We’re so close, I can see the small freckle he has just under his eye. I try to focus on that as he speaks to me in a low voice. “Such a dirty girl,” he murmurs, and I feel it in the pit of my stomach.

In a trance, I follow the way his lips move, finding myself repeating, “Dirty…girl…”

“Just for me.”

“Just…for – wait a minute.”

He grins, and his lips are touching mine just barely when he asks me, “Don’t you want to do more dirty, unsanitary things, Jude?”

I squeak, “Like…roll in mud?” his smile widens against my mouth and I jerk back, clearing my throat. “Um,” I try to bring back the conversation, “Socialite magazine - which by the way I swear I thought you said that was something you didn’t want to happen?”

He leans back from, lengthening the little distance we previously had between each other. He scowls and says, “Yeah, I suppose it was part of Orlagh’s little plan – except they caught the wrong engagement.” He tugs his bottom lip into his mouth and he looks as if he’s debating on what to tell me next. This makes my stomach sink and I think I’m really close to upchucking Oreo's and red rum. Something like guilt passes through his features when he says, “Kaye Fierch-Riven saw it this morning too.” I rack my brain trying to place her. I don’t really have to when Cardan explains, “Roiben Riven of Bright Enterprise – his wife.”

“Okay…” I say, not liking where this is heading. Roiben has been looking for buyers of his company for months now but has since turned down every one of our offers. He had explained money had nothing to do with it when our prices started to increase, and we then figured it had to be because of some admittedly unethical works of the previous CEO of Greenbriar Industries – Cardan’s father.  As a company, we have come incredibly far, fixing the mess that occurred, but Roiben was still hesitant to even consider us.

Until now. “He’s…very family oriented.”

“Interesting,” I say, carefully.

“His wife thinks it’s…endearing of us to be working together.”

“Does she, now,” I say dryly.

He nods. “He called just now. Asked a lot about you. And now thinking back, I can see where he’s gotten the wrong impression.”

“Cardan…”

“He asked if you helped with any of our operations and I told him the truth…that you were practically the brains behind most of our success. And I would be lost without you. And I’m so…humbled to have you in my life. And now he wants to have dinner.”

Doubtfully, I ask, “He… wants to date you?”

Cardan shakes his head slowly, “Oh, honey. No.”

I hit his chest and he doesn’t even budge. “God, you absolute – ugh!”

“Jude,” he says too calmly.

“No!” I grip the material of his shirt, “It’s one thing to use me to get out of some really creepy proposal – we could have easily handled that with a whole thing about us being too young and it being too soon – but now we have an actual really Big Deal thinking we’re some sort of power couple! Our company will be dragged through the mud, if we don’t go through with it! A big old hoax, we’d be called and I'm sure Orlagh would cosign on it!” I'm yelling and practically breathless with anger. Cardan looks amused and unphased. “Why are you grinning like that?”

“You said ‘we’ and ‘our company’ as in you’re already acting like the company is half yours.”

I let out a screech and shove him back, “You’re the reason my little brother got some girl pregnant!”

I’ve calmed down enough after I drank the last bit of orange juice in his fridge and ate the rest of his Oreo's. Cardan hands me his business card and tells me to get a new outfit. After I buy the most expensive thing in the Armani store, I figure a nice Swarovski watch would really compliment my outfit. After showering – and much to his satisfaction, using his products – he drives us to work.

I refuse to talk to him the entire ride and I keep my head down as we enter the building together, making a B-line it to my office, and successfully avoiding my coworkers so far. Still annoyed, I schedule a company outing – to raise moral, of course – to a cute little outdoors obstacle course. I really only chose it when I saw the bungee jumping advertisement on their website. I'm going to make that motherfucker scream.

Deciding to completely ignore every single problem that has arisen because of last night, I immerse myself in work, trying to catch up with the hours I’ve missed. I have a report ready by the time Cardan calls me to his office – I blocked his number on my phone so he had to call his secretary, Liliver, to call me. I stay a good ten minutes extra to number the pages before I slip them in a manila folder.

“Ms. Duarte,” Cardan says when I step into his office. I look at him startled when he says, “You were three hours late today.”

I’m aghast. “I was with you for two and a half of those hours!”

“Come here.”

I want to absolutely hurt myself for actually walking to his desk. “Mr. Greenbriar, I swear, I will take a whole week off just to fuck your entire schedule up.”

He smirks and tugs me until I'm in front of him, my back pressed to his desk and my knees slotted between his parted legs. “Sit.”

I place the folder on his desk, and he looks at it in disdain. “On your desk?”

“On my face, preferably,” he teases. “But yes. My desk. Your ass. On it.”

“You’re such a goddamned pig.”

He reaches into his drawer and pulls out a box. “So cranky this morning,” he muses. I roll my eyes and like out of dream I’ve once had, he says, “I can help relieve some of the tension.”

“Oh?” I ask crossing my arms and watching him warily. “How?”

His grin is lascivious, as if he had been waiting for this question all day and my lips part in shock when I realize what exactly I’ve just asked my boss. He shrugs and says, “For starters, I’d have you face down on this desk so I could play with that pretty pussy of yours. You’d feel so good around my fingers. I bet two would be such a tight fit, but three would get you screaming.”

My stomach tightens and I squeeze my legs together. “Cardan…”

He looks at me like I'm already undressed and splayed out for him. My heart races and he says softly, “I’d have you coming until your body is too weak to move. Nothing but tremors and my name leaving those wicked lips of yours.”

“Keep dreaming, buddy.” Though, I don’t stop him when he nudges my thighs apart, moving his chair forward to fit between them. I can feel the heat between us as he rests a warm hand against my knee. He slides his hand up, towards my inner thigh, fingers teasing sensitive skin with his thumb. My nipples harden but my hands find the edge of his desk and grip hard, trying to keep myself steady, even though I really want to unbutton my shirt and let him play with me.

His lips twitch, “Don’t worry, Jude, I won’t.” I feel…disappointed. Until he says, “At least not until after this.” He opens the box in his other hand to show me a ring. A gorgeous ruby set in gold vines twisting the around the band with small glittering emeralds acting as leaves.

My breath catches. Actual green briars surrounding a rose-like ruby. “You son of a bitch.”

He grins, “Picked it this morning.”

“In the twenty minutes I was out splurging?”

He nods, eyeing my new outfit with a grin. “I saw it at Grimsen’s. It reminded me of us. Figured Nicasia and Orlagh caught enough of it that they know it’s a ruby ring, so I got another ruby ring.” He shrugs and grabs my hand, but I yank it away.

“No.” He looks taken aback and part of me is satisfied about this. I sigh and shove his chair back with my foot, finally able to breathe and think properly with him a good distance away. I shake my head and point to the ground. “Do it properly.”

“Excuse me?”

“Get on your knees, Cardan.”

His lip tilts in a half smirk. “Both of them?” I blush, about to correct myself but he says, “lift your skirt up, if we’re going to do it that way.”

Heat creeps up my neck, but I somehow manage to glare at him. “I want a speech, too.”

“So demanding.”

“Yeah well, I wasn’t expecting my first engagement to be like this. In fact, I was hoping my first engagement would be my only one. You didn’t even ask Madoc for my hand. You should call him right now, actually. Tell him you’re going to make an honest woman out of me, or whatever. God, I could use some kombucha right about now.”

The door to his office opens before I can continue with my rambling. We turn to see Dain and Locke, one of Cardan’s brothers and his best friend, respectfully - both of whom are his second hand men and the latter being engaged to my sister, Taryn. I hop of the desk quickly, brushing down my skirt and clearing my throat, trying not at all to look as if we’ve been caught in a compromising position. We hardly even touched and yet I swear the office smells like sex.

Both men look amused. Dain grins, “Are we interrupting?”

“No!” I say this when a very unimpressed Cardan says, “Yes.”

Locke laughs but closes the door behind him, turning the lock and striding over to the sofa Cardan has at the far end of the room. Dain peers at the ring Cardan had picked and hums in agreement. “Good choice. Matches our signet ring, too.”

I look at him, baffled. “You know?” Also, signet ring? What the hell are they, descendants of European royalty? I try to recall if I’ve ever seen Cardan seal an envelope with red wax and a press of his ring, but I realize we live in the 21st century and even Cardan isn’t that pretentious. Right?

“Consider us your inner circle,” Locke informs. “Cardan got us up to date. For the record, I think this is an awful idea, mostly because the sexual tension will soon pop and all your foreplay is going to get real complicated when you try to break things off publicly.”

I stutter, trying to unpack all he’s just thrown at me in that one sentence, but Dain waves a hand dismissively in the air. “I think this is brilliant. Dad will pop a blood vessel when he finds out you actually got Bright Enterprise on your side.” I suddenly feel like this is far more than I can handle.

“Wait,” I say, “This isn’t fair. If you have your people knowing, why can’t I have mine?”

Cardan furrows his brow, “You can tell who you want. Within reason, of course. This is a strictly confidential thing.”

“Oak, Vivienne and Taryn. I’m sure Locke would eventually tell Taryn anyway, right? Besides, Oak is about to ruin his whole life for me just so Madoc won’t murder you.”

“Why would Madoc murder me? He’s fine with Locke,” Cardan points out.

Locke snorts, “Yeah, but I didn’t debauch his daughter in my car. Not that he knows of, at least.” I hold back a gag.

I clarify, “Locke and Taryn had a ten-step plan to ease Madoc into it. And they’ve been engaged for two years now. Madoc is not going to like our ‘secret relationship’ and ‘office affair’ and ‘whirlwind romance’ and -”

Cardan cuts me off, “Okay, noted. Now can you all leave so I can propose to Jude?”

“No,” Dain says, “We’re here to bear witness and all that.”

“That’s for the actual wedding,” Cardan points out.

“Consider it practice, then, for when we eventually all go to Vegas,” Locke says, “That’s definitely where I see this headed.”

I groan and turn to my boss, “Knee, now.” He rolls his eyes but after eyeing his friends, he finally drops to his knee and holds out the ring for me. “Speech,” I prompt.

“Jude you don’t want a speech, just say yes.”

I pout, “Please?”

He sighs, and I swear his cheek reddens. He must gauge how much this means to me and he nods, starting. For a moment, I think he’s going to make something up like he did in the car last night, but to my surprise, it feels a little too honest. “Eight months ago, we held a charity gala; it was the first major task you ever had to take care of, and you did an amazing job, even booked us all suites in the hotel you hosted it at, yet you didn’t even attend it. I left early and walked to your room. You opened the door in your ridiculously fluffy pajama pants and an oversized sweatshirt with bag of chips in your hand. You asked what I was doing there, and I asked why you never made it to the gala. Your stupid excuse was that you didn’t want to miss the season finale of The Bachelor.”

“It was a wild season, okay, I couldn’t miss the end, holy shit I can’t believe you even remember that!” My siblings and I made it a big deal to watch it together weekly, that night I felt awful missing it with them. I was surprised to find Cardan at my door, but I figured he’d be too drunk to remember anyways.

“Anyway, you invited me in and I couldn’t say no for some inane reason. I sat next to you for two hours and tortured myself because for some reason, you were happy and I…liked that. I also said yes to your stupid company trips to ‘build morale’ even though I knew it was all an excuse to see me in oddly dire situations like trust falling into Mrs. Marrow’s arms or racing down a ski loft with Van or pretending to be trapped in an insane asylum with my employees in an Escape room. Turns out when you ask me to do ridiculous things like that, it’s not too hard for me to say yes. In these past eight months, I’ve said yes to you so many times, so today I’m asking you to say yes to me just this once and be my pretend fiancée.”

“Wow,” Dain says quietly. “You’re really whipped, aren’t you?”

We ignore him and I cover my mouth with my hand, oddly overcome with emotion. I blink and give him my hand. “Wow,” I say. “Yes, um, okay.” He chuckles and slides the ring on my finger, replacing the old one. I take the old ring and, on a whim, I slide it on to Cardan’s pinky finger. He smiles and tugs me as he gets up.

“Good?” he asks. I nod with bleary eyes. He bends down to press a soft, quick, kiss on my forehead and I'm in shock before he even pulls away.  

“I guess now is a bad time to inform you that we’re going bungee jumping next Saturday?” He blinks down at me and I smile.

“Oh shit,” Locke says, when Dain whistles loudly. “Damn, Jude, you’re amazing. His last assistant made us eat lunch together once a month to build trust or whatever. Jude has us come close to death,” he says, whimsically.

I smile and lie, “Something about adrenaline rushes and dopamine?”

“You’re so goddamned fired,” Cardan says to either of us, really.

∞

@cute898, @monawa, @afexiss, @somebodysqueen, @nish247, @andromeddea, @avenrebekah, @gamer670, @daddycardan, @outofstyles13, @vi0let-femmes, @babyillyrian @queenofdorkville, @courtofmadness, @queengreenbriar, @stormymeow, @goldbooksblack

[homosexula]

very funny how you reblog a post abt how antisemitism is bad and yet are GREMLINKIN and also kin with the fucked up antisemitic NMH album. and you like HS despite it and hussie being incredibly anti-black. all of this while you are a nonblack goyim. i have to laugh. ik you arent white but tht doesnt make u immune to being racist or antisemitic.

1. youre right, im not jewish or black

2. as far as i know gremlins arent antisemitic? i thought that was goblins. theyre not the same thing and actually the reason i use the word gremlin is because i talked to several jewish people about the subject and researched the, like, origins of gremlins and as far as i could find they have nothing to do with jewish people.

3. i didnt think nmh was antisemitic either? i know a lot of nazis like make memes of it and shit but they dont actually usually have anything to do with the content of the album. the only thing in the album afaik is that the writer/singer thinks the holocaust was a tragedy and wishes he could save anne frank (which, maybe a weird savior complex but certainly not violently bigoted)? and then because nazis are terrible they use that as a format to make anne frank jokes.

4. i actually dont like homestuck anymore and have been thinking of deleting that part of my page anyway. i liked homestuck when i was 13 and felt attached to some of the characters still but i havent consumed homestuck content since like. 2012. i do agree hussies a huge shithead, fuck that guy

5. i know that im not immune to being racist or antisemitic and i do my best to educate myself on these subjects and not hurt anyone. yes im white-passing and nonblack and not jewish, which means ive profited from racism and antisemitism, and was born into it and raised with racist, antiblack, and antisemitic ideals. unlearning this shit is a lifelong task that i take very seriously and i do my best to listen to other people about these things but im sorry, i just dont think its antisemitic of me to make jokes abt a funny little creature who has nothing to do with jewish people by all accounts, or to listen to a musician who thought the death of anne frank was a tragedy and then had his work turned into racist antisemitic memes on 4chan without his say. if you would like to talk further abt this my inbox or messages are always open, because like i said i do take this shit seriously and if anything ive said here is a misconception id love to talk to you about it