#FUCK OFF BATMAN GO SEE A THERAPIST

[sanguinesmi1e]

A Round Door Like a Porthole, Lazarus Green Pt. 1 (you're here) Pt. 2 Pt. 3 Pt. 4

Wayne Enterprises didn’t really need a small business specializing in “ecto-weapons” invented by self-purported ghost hunters, but S.T.A.R. Labs tipped Lucius Fox off that Lex Luthor was trying to buy an obscure little company in Illinois, and thwarting Luthor was always worthwhile. Now Tim just had to figure out what to do with all the equipment and the concerningly large arsenal of guns and things that looked like normal household items but seemed to have other, horrific purposes. He would have laughed at the way they slapped “Fenton” in front of every invention name (do ghost hunters really need a Fenton thermos? Won’t a normal thermos keep their coffee hot just as well? Are ghosts like trout, to be caught with a Fenton Ghost Fisher which just looks like a normal fishing rod but glow-in-the-dark. And what the fuck even is a Fenton Peeler!?), but he thought with some chagrin about the batarangs, batmobile, and everything else that had “bat” as a prefix in the batcave. 

However, of all the things Tim hadn’t expected to find when he flew out to do an inventory of assets after they bought the business sight-unseen, a portal generating a Lazarus Pit in gaseous form was probably at the top of his list. He didn’t even know that Lazarus water could change states from a liquid to a gas like that. Maybe there actually was something to the whole ghost thing. He supposed that it made sense for ghosts to exist, after all Deadman was part of Justice League Dark. Speaking of. . . he should see if Bruce could call in someone from JLD to assess things. He was feeling decidedly out of his depth.

John Constantine did not like to consult for mega corporations like Wayne Enterprises, but Batman had specifically requested he go check something out and he figured, where's the harm? 

There. 

There’s the harm. 

It turned out the “thing” he’d been called in to look at is a machine that can tear open a stable portal into the Infinite Realms. That is not something that should be possible. That is not something technology should be capable of achieving. That is definitely not something that should exist. Bloody hell, what had the Bats roped him into!?

This really should have been Zatana’s job. Or Deadman’s. Hell, Raven or Secret would be preferable. Because John would prefer not to be dealing with this. In fact, he would prefer to be back in literal Hell than deal with the crazy shit in the Infinite Realms. Could John handle demons, archangels, and even gods? Yeah. He can bind or exorcize most supernatural threats. Does that mean he relishes the idea of going toe to toe with heavy hitters from the Infinite Realms? Absolutely not. 

Some beings who lived there were just little blob ghosts made from ectoplasm and emotion. Some were the restless undead who could not or would not cross over to their afterlives. And some were the embodiments of concepts like nature, destructive weather, and dreams. He wasn’t sure where Death fit into the Realms, whether she ruled or visited, or if it was actually just an extension of her, but he didn’t really want to find out. There were many things John could defeat. Death wasn’t one of them. And now he was looking at a portal into a realm where the living were not meant to be. 

Danny hadn’t returned to Fenton Works since graduating high school. It turned out that he was less anxious when he was not living with people who fantasized about “tearing him apart molecule by molecule” and thought that discussing their plans to dissect him (although he maintained that it would be a vivisection since he’s only half dead) made for fascinating dinner conversation. Who would have thought that his constant stress, anxiety, and insomnia were caused by environmental factors? He’d been unpacking things with a very nice therapist his sister helped him find, and seen great improvements in his mental health. It really helped that she was dead too, and unlike Spectra she didn’t feed off the misery of her patients.

Danny hadn’t intended to ever return to Fenton Works, but when Jazz told him that Jack and Maddie sold their life's work to Wayne Enterprises and a multibillionaire playboy was about to have unfettered access to the Ghost Zone, he was. . . concerned. To say the least. And that was why he was in the middle of doing some light sabotage when Tim Drake-Wayne and a guy in a trenchcoat who reeked of cigarette smoke entered the basement lab. It’s why he was hiding under the Specter Speeder removing the ecto-engine, and there to overhear the conversation that followed.

“So, am I right in thinking that’s a Lazarus Pit?” Tim asked Constantine.

The older man stared at the portal, then at Tim, then at the portal for an uncomfortably long time. Then he pulled out a flask and drained half its contents before saying, “Yes and no. That is basically the same substance as the pits, but I think that this does something else entirely. It seems like this machine basically functions as a summoning circle, but instead of pulling one entity from one side to the other, this is just an open doorway that is perpetually pulling in anything or anyone who gets within its sphere of influence.”

“That doesn’t sound like a good thing, John.”

“It’s really not,” 

“So what does that mean, is it like a blown hatch in space causing rapid depressurization?” Tim felt a little ill at the thought. “What is it even pulling into our world?”

“No, no. Nothing so dramatic as that. It’s more like, hm, so the way summoning circles work is they invite or compel a specific entity to manifest, by basically making a one-way magical portal for them. This portal is kinda like an invitational summoning, which entices, but doesn’t force anyone to enter. Usually a summoning will have a purpose though, and the being you summon will be offered a deal. If this is doing what I think it is and pulling citizens of the Infinite Realms through and leaving them on this side without a contract or direction, they’re probably getting pretty frustrated and causing havoc. It’s like offering someone a job in another country so they have to get a visa and uproot everything, only to get off the plane and find an empty office, no housing, and no paycheck.” John lit up a cigarette and took a drag.

Tim wrinkled his nose, but knew from long experience that it wasn’t worth it to argue about American tobacco restrictions in the workplace with Constantine, especially while the man was doing him a favor. Also, the man looked like he really needed either a cigarette or another drink, and he’d prefer second hand smoke to a drunk sorcerer. “So then why hasn’t this town been overrun by these beings from the Infinite Realms?”

“Good question kid, but what I really want to know is how is this portal staying open? Really, how was it opened in the first place is the most pressing issue.” John mused.

Tim had already located the blueprints for the portal while waiting for Constantine, but either the Fentons had intentionally falsified the documents to seem plausible just long enough to make off with the money, or he just didn’t understand enough of the interaction between physics and the occult to comprehend how the portal could possibly function. 

He flipped back through the blueprints while the blond man sat cross legged in front of the swirling green portal and his low, distracted mutterings took on the cadence of a chant. The curl of smoke from his lit cigarette unfurled into some kind of spell array, and began to glow. Huh, maybe Tim shouldn't be too quick to judge him for tobacco misuse. Tim triple checked the flat file for any more information about the portal, and came up empty handed.

John, meanwhile, kept chanting as the magical array grew and spread to encompass the entire entrance to the portal. At last he stopped speaking and stood up, stepping back to double check his work. “Alright, Drake. You might wanna close your eyes for this one. It’s gonna be bright,” he said, popping his cigarette back between his lips. Then he stepped forward and blew a mouthful of smoke on the center of the array. The smoke caught against the softly glowing lines, pushing them until they floated back and collided with the nebulous green swirls and, despite Tim closing his eyes, flashed so incandescently white he could see them through his eyelids.

“OW! Fuck!!” John clutched his face, pressing the heels of his hands to his eyes. “I’m doubling my consulting fee,” he grumbled under his breath.

“You alright?” Tim asked, blinking spots out of his vision.

“Yeah, yeah. Just give me a sec.” He too was blinking now. “That was not supposed to be so bright.”

“I’m assuming it worked though.”

“It had bloody well better ’ave worked.” The older man squinted at the slightly dimmer lines which still shone painfully bright against the green. “Oh. Yeah, that worked. Fuck. . .”

“What?” Tim looked on in alarm as Constantine pressed a hand over his mouth. 

“Oh man. What wanker did you say created this portal?”

“Presumably Drs. Madeline and Jack Fenton. Why?” He drew the last syllable out skeptically. 

“Because, they opened this portal with a child sacrifice, and bound his death and all the lost life potential to their bloody machine to create a perpetual gateway to the Infinite Realms.”

[batbux]

One of the bats has to go undercover as a patient of a particularly suspect new and upcoming therapist. Bruce already has a backstory fleshed out and a cover identity, but that's no fun now is it.

Dick: Okay, the bat council is now in session. First things first-

Steph: I'm the realest.

Jason: Shut the fuck up.

Dick: No, no arguing. We're here on a MISSION.

Tim: That's right, a very important mission.

Dick: One of us has to go undercover as Dr. Hoffman's patient. But why? Why are we seeking therapy?

Tim: Wrong answers only. If any of you get too real, Dick can and will find you a real therapist.

Dick: And Tim, no superhero related answers. Bernard's PowerPoint nights give you too much of an advantage.

Tim: You're just jealous I know that Batman is actually a tulpa.

Jason: You shut the fuck up too.

---

Dick: Okay, I'll go first to get the obvious answer out of the way. I'm going because I'm secretly Batman, BUT I'm not here about that. I just have incredibly selective amnesia and can't remember the code to the Batmobile.

Jason: Oh that one's good. Let me think.

Steph: Hoffman is a man, right?

Dick: Right.

Steph: Easy, I'll claim womanly problems. Maybe get prescribed a vibrator.

Tim: *wheezes*

Dick: Ok Gotham's in the dark ages of psychology but not THAT much.

Steph: Spoilsport. Fine, I'm Batman's long lost twin sister.

Duke: Come on, we can't all go to therapy because of Batman.

Jason: I don't know, I feel like all of us should go to therapy because of Batman.

Cass: I'll go because I'm Batman.

Jason: I'd vote for you.

Duke: I think I would go because Metropolis isn't real.

Tim: Like, the whole city is-

Duke: It's a conspiracy. The government wants us to think there's this wonderful city where nothing bad ever happens and an actual alien from space saves the day. Tries to make us buy into some utopian bullshit.

Tim: Hoffman's just going to drive you there.

Duke: Ha! He's not getting ME to a secondary location. He might be in on it.

Steph: Compelling, definitely compelling. I nominate Duke's for first place.

Jason: Don't jump the gun.

Tim: Yeah, you haven't heard ours.

Steph: Well? Let's hear it then.

Tim: I'm an alien spy, sent here to study humans. Only I'm not doing well because I was taken in by rich people and they act weirder than me. I want to know what it means to be human, but whenever I look around all I see is how to make a good margarita. It makes me... sad.

Steph: That's no good. We said wrong answers only.

Jason: Solid four out of ten.

Tim: Fuck off.

Jason: I think I would go because I was convinced I was the second coming of Jesus which is all fine and good, but my whole family is Jewish so it's making things a little awkward at the dinner table.

Steph: You did come back from the dead.

Jason: I did and I'll tell him that. Took a little longer than three days this time, though.

Tim: Okay, I'll be honest. Jason and Duke's are the best.

Dick: Hold on- Damian, do you have an answer?

Damian: Of course. And not one so foolish.

Duke: Well?

Damian: Well, my whole family is comprised of vigilantes and I'm under a lot of stress to be one as well and continue the family tradition. I will of course swear him to secrecy and avoid naming any vigilantes by name.

Dick: ...

Jason: This is what I'm talking about. This is exactly what I'm-

Dick: Yes, okay. Game's over. All of you are getting psych referrals in your inbox by the morning.

Steph: What about-

Dick: Duke won.

[spacedace]

So I've seen a lot of "Jazz works as a therapist at Arkam" in the dp x dc fandom, and while I like the concept, I also feel like Jazz would take one look at the place and immediately be like "what the absolute fuck" at just the everything of the place.

Like, she either nopes out after the tour during the interview or quits not too long afterward starting there, not because she can't take it but because she's so appalled by what's going on there and can smell the corruption rolling off the place and knows no one sent to there is ever actually going to get the help they need.

So Jazz decides to open a private practice instead while still being absolutely determined to work with the various rogues in the city, she is here to help and nothing is going to stop her.

So she just starts showing up at known hangouts of rogues and during their heists/schemes/sprees, and even fights between them and the batfam, just like

"Hi! It’s so nice to meet you! My name is Dr. Jasmine Fenton/Nightingale/whatever last name she’s using and I was hoping we could talk!"

Casually kicks a baterang away without looking because she's being polite and professional!

"I understand that your experience with therapy through Arkam has been nothing but atrocious and that you are rightfully -"

Kicks Batman away without breaking eye contact or a sweat.

"Suspicious of attempting therapy again, and Idon't want to force anything on you, therapy should be on your terms after the experiences you've had but -"

Grabs Robin out of the air as he leaps at the rogue she's talking to and tucks him under her arm, ignoring his feral hissing and all attempts to break her hold.

"-I really think that you'd find it beneficial, even if I'm not the right therapist for you."

The rogue in question is having the time of their life and takes Jazz's business card - and a few extra to pass around - not really intending to actually ever book a therapy appointment with her but way too entertained and excited to share this madness with everyone else.

But then one of the rogues actually looks up Jazz's website and sees all the various safe guards she’s put in place to ensure that any villians that come to her will be protected while seeing her - soundproof therapy room, regular sweeps for listening and tracking devices, the most insane firewalls and protections anyone has ever seen on her network, and ooh she provides snacks and drinks!

So someone finally books an appointment with her, half convinced she's either going to turn them in or is a villain herself intent to experiment on them, but then it’s actually really nice??? And they feel a lot better afterwards?? She doesn't even say anything to indicate that she wants them to stop being villains, she just wants them to be okay??

So more and more rogues start going to her, and Batman was already losing his mind about this woman before - Oracle can't hack her system?!? And her background check shows a totally normal Psychiatrist?? - but now half of Gotham's heavy hitters and a dozen or so other minor league villains are seeing her regularly and every time he tries to get info on any plans the rogues might be scheme via her office it fails utterly. Nightwing got knocked out with something called a creep stick and when he tried to break in himself to get answers she just appeared out of no where and gave him the most scathing lecture about doctor-patient confidentiality before bullying him off her property and threatening to sick her brother on him if he tried again?

And because she's become such a figure in the Gotham underworld, she gets the attention of Joker.

And everyone, rogues and Bats alike, are terrified that she’s going to try and take him on as a patient like she has so many other villains in the city and that's just a recipe for tragedy.

But then the Joker is on his way to the hospital with two broken legs and the fear of god beat into him babbling about eldritch nightmares and whenever anyone asks Jazz what happened she just shrugs and just says things like "I refused him as a patient, he's not my problem." Or "My brother doesn't like clowns." And just, does not elaborate.

Batman is losing his mind over it all. Jazz is just happy to be able to actually help the rogues. Arkam is less happy about how she absolutely destroys their reputation.

[brucewaynehater101]

Look maybe it’s just me but if I saw my little brother spiraling I wouldn’t just corner him in a graveyard once to talk about therapy then let him fuck off to go globe trotting

I mean... kind of I'm trying to be more canon accurate in my posts, so I apologize for correcting ya.

Cassie was the one to meet Tim in the graveyard. Dick met him at the city bounds.

Here's a funny pic of Dick as payment

Bruh. I'd either be so intimidated or so mad if Dick did this to me.

"We need to talk." After what Tim walked into of Damian wearing the Robin suit because Dick didn't talk to him until after the suit was made? I'd be mad (this is not an anti Dick. This is just how I would feel).

Anyways. Dick didn't let Tim go. Tim held him at staff point and guilt tripped the man into letting him go (not anti-Tim either).

Re-reading it again, I still think Tim is an unreliable narrator.

However, Tim is all like, "Hey, I know I sound nuts. I know how it looks, but I know I'm right." He provided examples of how he can, in fact, understand where Dick is coming from.

And then Dick is all like, "I know how you feel, but you need a therapist." Which... yes, but that's not the point. Tim is bringing up all this horrid shit in his life and acknowledging how he understands Dick's viewpoint (while also saying Dick is only there cause Cassie called him). Then Dick claims to understand Tim's perspective, but only from Dick's "Tim must be seeing things where isn't anything instead of grieving" viewpoint.

Basically, they aren't communicating with each other efficiently (they are also physically fighting each other while doing this too).

It's a mess. A hot mess.

Dick is trying:

But he's also just not listening to Tim. He's not giving Tim the benefit of the doubt. He's concerned af, but he's not listening or trusting Tim. He's just going at it from his own worried mentality that Tim's going down a conspiracy bender. I don't blame Dick for not communicating well (poor man is going through so much at this point [Damian, JLA, switching to Batman, etc]).

However, I also understand Tim's perspective. He doesn't trust Dick to actually listen to him. Dick wants to help Tim Dick's way and not what Tim believes he needs.

I personally get very very triggered if my boundaries are not met. If someone held on after I told them to let go? Yeah. Hands are being thrown. I also get triggered if people try to force me to do shit, don't listen to me, or try to do "what's best for me" when I've told them no. Real quick way to get cut off by me.

That's off topic, lmao.

Anyways, Dick kind of let Tim go, but that's because Tim forced him to. It wasn't because Dick didn't care, but he didn't care in the way Tim wanted him to (debatable if that's not how Tim needed either).

I'm curious. Are there any comics that cover that scene from Dick's POV? I'd appreciate it if anyone could let me know ^^

Also, I agree I would not do what Dick did here. On the other hand, my siblings and I have worked very very hard for the relationships we have. It's taken years of trial and error to get the boundaries and level of communication the way it is. We all agree to allow the others to make decisions for themselves and fight their own battles unless otherwise asked (I had a habit of trying to help and fix the situation for them when I was a teen. Now we just inform and offer help. Lots of acknowledgment for boundaries as well). If my siblings want to make dumb decisions, I let them. Just as they would for me. I might tell them I think that's dumb as hell, but it's their life.

If Tim was my sibling, I'd say something like, "I'm not sure I believe you, but I trust you. If this is what you need, if you think this is true, I'll support you. Would you like my direct assistance with this?"

If they say no, then I'll respond with, "Okay. I can handle Gotham as long as you keep me in the loop. If it's been 48 hours without contact, I will hunt you down. I love you."

Then we'd hug goodbye.

On the other other hand, there's not this age gap between us. Dick is 7 or so years older than Tim, and Tim is a teen. Dick may feel it's his responsibility to look after Tim and might be hitting the road bumps I did with my siblings (of giving them the respect and trust to handle their own issues as well as know what they need).

So, the situation is a hot mess :)

[solar-wing]

⚣ Therapist BatBro 👓

⚣👓 A/N → Therpist BatBro makes his debut. The second pic is honestly what I feel a therapy session in the Wayne family would look like. This is from another request I got from my previous account.

⚣👓 Summary → Your family isn't pleased with your new hobby or group of friends. But, somehow you've made it a business. Gotta respect the hustle at least.

⚣👓 Words → 2.3k

REBLOGS and replies are greatly appreciated, please! 👓

⚣ ENJOY 👓

The way I see it, you're either a vigilante with the fam and all the villains just seem to like you for some reason and ask where you are during a battle OR you're not a vigilante and you volunteer at Arkham (which would be absolutely insane but it's Arkham so it breaks even) and everyone there is cool with you. Even the Joker (which won't fly well with Jason at all).

We're going to go with the second option for this one.

So, since Bruce was adamant about you not joining the family business as a vigilante since you were the youngest and he had an unyielding urge to protect you and your childhood innocence, you needed to find something to do in your free time.

What better than to volunteer at a crazy house for psychopathic murdering villains?

Of course, considering Arkham was filled mainly with criminals your father had put there along with your siblings, it probably wouldn’t be wise to do that since they’d obviously wouldn’t approve.

SO, you did it anyway and just didn't tell them.

BatBro contemplating...

Duke was the first to find out. Batman had supplies Arkham needed but since he was at work and Duke always took the day shift as everyone liked to joke, who better to drop it off than him? Imagine his surprise when he finds his baby bro in there serving ice cream to Mr. Freeze.

"Here ya go Fries, my man. I sprinkled some ice shavings on there to make it a little tangier for you..." You said handing him the cone.

"Ha ha ha, aren't you hilarious." Victor Fries replied with a genuine smile. As far as The Signal persona knew, he was only capable of smirking or mean-mugging the shit of people, with the exception of an occasional shivering face while mocking someone for how cold they were.

'Oh, they're not gonna believe this...' Duke thought, racing home right after. The way he left the institution, the guards almost thought there was a breakout or a fight going on. Nope, but there might be when he told everyone.

Of course, no one believed him at first, just staring at the dude as if he just said the craziest thing in the world like Bruce being an emotionally available parent.

When you came home that night acting cagey and weirder than normal, they figured something was going on and maybe you were at Arkham but for something completely different than what Duke thought it could be. Because, there would be no way Bruce Wayne’s, aka Batman, own son would ever even consider fraternizing with criminals, let alone his enemies. Right?

So, like any other sane, normal family who responded to distressing situations with maturity and rationality... they spied on you.

Damian, Tim, & Cass followed you the next day. Tim was understandably distraught but also curious how you could have managed to form a friendship with Gotham's criminally insane.

Like...THEY WERE INSANE. But, when he really thought about it, considering the family you came from...yeah, okay. He can see the correlation now.

Damian, however, refused to believe his little brother could be so stupid and dense. How could you form relations with the enemy like that? It was stupidity. Plain idiocy at its finest. It was betrayal!

On the other hand, it was a smart move looking from an assassin's point of view. You know the whole keep your friends close and enemies closer deal, but that was his thing. Not yours! So you'd be getting extra noogies and brotherly beatdowns when you got home. In the name of camaraderie and righting your careless decisions.

Cass thought it was fucking hilarious.

Upon their arrival and finding you trading riddle jokes with Riddler, their jaws all collectively dropped to the floor.

"Okay, okay okay..." You breathed, calming down from your wheezing laughter. "Riddle me this...I'm neither a man nor a woman but don't hurt my wittle feelings cause I'm still a person. I'll kick you and scream at you, even both during a tantrum. My ego's bigger than my head but shorter than my height, who am I?"

Riddler took a moment to think about it before the metaphorical lightbulb appeared above his head, "Boy Wonder!" He pointed.

"Which one?" You immediately responded.

"The fourth one!"

"Yes!"

Tim and Cass both had to think about it before they realized the clues in the riddle. They're eyes went wide when they realized who you were talking about, and turned to see Damian who looked ready to tear your head off with his teeth.

"He's in for it when he gets home..." He growled through his grinding teeth.

Damian pissed (Left) | Tim & Cass (Right)

Everyone was mildly concerned when they came home that night and asked them how everything went only for Damian's immediate response to be that he was going to get his revenge sketchbook.

Why Damian has a revenge sketchbook, no one knows. But, everyone was just the right amount unsettled by it.

That night at dinner there was a bit of a tense air as Damian had to be placed between both Bruce and Jason to keep him from lunging at you with his salad fork. Usually, you were used to Damian’s somewhat murderous tantrums, but this was on another level.

He almost looked like he would grow horns out of his head at any moment, which would actually be somewhat fitting. Considering he was the grandson of the Demon and all.

You also noticed how Tim and Cass kept weirdly staring at you. Neither of them said something, which was odd(well except maybe for Cass), but you just ignored it and ate your dinner.

That night, you put some of your old booby traps from when you first moved into the manor back into place. You needed some sort of reassurance and protection to help you sleep. At many points throughout the night, you shot out of bed and grabbed one of the many random weapons you had hidden around you when you thought you heard someone trying to sneak into your room.

Damian definitely tried but had learned his lesson after the last time he got caught in one of your traps. You took a lot of inspiration from movies like Home Alone and The Parent Trap.

The next day, Dick and Steph went to check out the mental institution insane asylum.

Steph also thought it was funny like Cass but in a more ironic type of way. She’d rooted for you to get your own vigilante identity and join the family business. So this was like the ultimate petty revenge and she was here for it.

But Dick just couldn't imagine you in a place like this. His sweet adorable baby brother, in this horrid mess? He was calling it, either blackmail or manipulation. A rude awakening was awaiting him around the corner.

They looked to see you in the middle of practicing a handshake with Bane.

"No Bane, fist bump, then the arm wiggle..." You said, showing him the move for the 4th time.

"Oh sorry buddy," He replied.

"No problem man, let's try again."

They watched you go through the whole routine, Steph taking a video on her phone while Dick looked in surprise and jealousy. How come you and him didn't have a handshake like that? Every little brother should want to have a cool handshake with their cool big brother! Was he not good enough?!

Steph laughing in petty (Left) | Dick breaking down (Right)

When Dick stormed into the manor later muttering about showing you a real handshake, Bruce only raised an eyebrow when Steph walked in looking thoroughly entertained like she just watched the funniest show of her life. It certainly felt like it.

That afternoon, Dick gave you the cold shoulder all day. He even canceled your weekly brother movie night, which shocked everyone, especially your dad. What could have been so bad that would cause Bruce’s first protege to treat his kid brother like this? The same kid who he’d absolutely lose it if they went to anyone other than him for advice or would pout if he didn’t get the first hug from him when in a room full of people.

Of course, he still cracked when you gave him the hurt puppy dog eyes (a trick you learned from Jason that he used to use on Bruce all the time when he was younger). Dick caved and you guys ended up watching a movie, though you were mildly concerned whenever your oldest brother paused the movie and took the time to highlight the friendship and connection between two characters, especially if they were siblings.

Something like a special code, an inside joke, or even maybe a HANDSHAKE. What does it say about a big brother if his little brother doesn’t want to have a cool special handshake with him?!

Subtle.

You just nodded along, making a mental note to avoid any family-oriented films for your next movie night.

But, after this incident, you’d fully managed to get Bruce’s attention. He knew that Dick out of all his children was usually the least likely to get irate over something that wasn’t serious. So the fact that he did, despite how unserious it may have seemed, but it was settled.

Something was going on and your dad, no…Batman was going to get to the bottom of it.

Jason decided to come along with your father, fully prepared to drag you out of the building by force if he had to. He even went as far as calling your boyfriend Conner Kent, aka Superboy, who he and Bruce had a love/hate relationship with because they couldn't really threaten the boy like they wanted to if he hurt you.

Well, Jason couldn’t at least.

Bruce had more than enough kryptonite in multiple storages across his warehouse and had no problem showing it to the half-Kryptonian as a warning.

Conner was more than a little peeved, try fucking pissed when he heard you'd been hanging out with supervillains. And he as well was ready to sling you over his shoulder if he had to. But, probably not in front of your dad who kept throwing pointed glares his way as they moved through the building.

When Batman showed up demanding to see where the volunteer by your name was, they quickly rushed to show him to your location. He couldn't fathom this. The mere thought that his youngest child, his sweet, innocent (on a good day) good-natured son, would be hanging around all his enemies, laughing with them like they were good ol pals?

He'd sooner believe Joker was going to therapy.

The shock of his lifetime was also waiting for him around the corner.

They came around to see you through a window sitting in an office room in business casual attire, holding a clipboard and writing down notes while Joker was laying on a couch with his cuffed hands resting on his chest, venting out his emotions.

"And sometimes, I do feel like I go a bit far. But, I can't take all the blame. I mean, everyone paints me as the villain, but Batsy plays into our little game just as much as I do. Why does he get painted as the hero and me as a crazy clown? Well, you know, besides the clown face, HAHAHA!" He vented, ending with his usual eerie cackle.

"Uh-huh, and how does that make you feel?" You asked while scribbling a few notes on your legal pad and adjusting the fake glasses on your face before turning around at the sound of the door opening.

You felt your heart drop in your stomach when you saw your father, brother, and boyfriend all staring at you with very unhappy looks.

"BATSY! Oh, do come in! We were just talking about you. I think it's about time you and I got some relationship counseling." Joker exclaimed.

Not one word was said while Conner grabbed you by your wrists, (gently of course because he's caring like that) and dragged you out of the room, Jason not too far behind, ready to tear you a new one. Batman held his shoulder, while Joker just watched in amusement, "Guess my hour's up."

You, Bruce, and Jason arguing (Left) | Joker enjoying the show (Right)

You were immediately brought home after getting an earful from Jason to which you offered him his own free session.

He agreed.

Bruce demands to know why you would even consider going there, socializing with those people.

"Well, seeing as how I can't join the family business, I figured I could do some good in some way. And villains or not, they've got good in them! Just you know, when they're not trying to murder people." You answered.

You were interrupted by your other siblings appearing before you felt an arm forcibly turn you around which Conner raised an annoyed eyebrow at, but he kept his mouth shut.

"What does Bane have that I don't? Am I not good enough as an older brother to have a handshake with?"

You sighed, "Is that why you were so upset the other day?! Ugh, would you like to create a special handshake with me, Dick?"

" Yes! Super secret too! You can't have any handshakes with anybody else!" He hugged you while you patted his back.

Brothers could be so needy sometimes.

You could see your boyfriend eyeing you both with the strangest look. In your defense, he had plenty of warning of how weird your family was.

Before things could calm down too much though, everyone heard a shrill voice screaming your name from the top of the staircase.

"Y/N!"

"Fuck..." You muttered under your breath, before turning to see Tim and Cass giving you nervous looks.

“You were there with Riddler, weren’t you?”

They could barely look you in the eye as you turned to see Damian standing on the banister, holding one of your slippers in his hand.

"Who's short now?!" 

Alfred went to get the first aid kit.

Damian with your slipper...

BONUS:

☀️ | Bat Family | ☀️

☀️ | Masterlists | ☀️

[breakandbuildfiction]

Another Rant About DPxDC Tropes

I didn’t write out all my thoughts on everything in the DPxDC fandom last time, so I decided to write this follow up with some more of them. This time I will primarily be focusing on how people go about using specific characters and their inter-character relationships.

Watering Down and Glorifying Female Characters:

I’ve noticed that this is a theme across a LOT of not only DPxDC fics and prompts, but across a lot of the fanworks for the individual franchises. People will ignore the flaws and shortcomings of female characters and overblow their positive traits purely to make them look more badass or scary compared to the male characters or to make other characters relient on them. Here are some examples:

Poison Ivy: People like to write Poison Ivy as some cool bad girl bent on environmentalism, that she’s pricily but full of ‘cool aunt’ energy. But they ignore the fact that her entire thing is drugging, mind controlling, sexually assulting, and murdering people in the name of environmental terrorism and in some itterations global genocide. She is not by any means someone a hero should be chill with outside of absolutly desperate situations, and even then she should be the second choice after Swamp Thing.

Harley Quinn: She is literally a psycopath suffering from an obsessive love disorder– that she has done a great deal to overcome– who has no problems maiming, crippling, and killing anyone who gets between her and whatever it is she wants at the moment. At her most ‘restrained’ she is working with Batman to hunt down the Joker– with her intent being to kill him– or is on the Suicide Squad taking some weird comfort in being around equally fucked up people and being assured in the knowledge that her murderous tendencies are being used for some level of ‘good’. She was also a very shitty psyciatrist who in many itterations slept her way into passing college and didn’t even last a full year as a lisenced practitioner before joining the Joker. Yes she is trying to be a better person, but she is NOT by any means a good person.

Black Canary: I think the thing I dislike most about how people treat Black Canary is that they hyperfixate on the pseudo-mom characteristics and emergency therapist role she was given in the Young Justice cartoon. I’ll admit that I haven’t read a ton of her comics, but I HAVE read some and I have watched the Justice League Unlimited cartoon as well. With that in mind I feel like people are tragically focusing on the wrong parts of her personality. She is shown to be stand offish, headstrong, confrontational, brash, and manipulative. She isn’t hero-mom coded, she is a femm fatal back street brawler who is fully open to playing off her allies ego to make them do what she wants if she can and leveraging her power and skill at violence to get what she wants. Yes she is a hero and yes she has a softer side, but god damn!

Wonder Woman: This actually goes for all Amazons of Themyscira but here it goes. Wonder Woman grew up in an extremely isolationist, xenophobic, and misandrist (Even if you ignore the run that said the island’s inhabitants are all literal murdering rapists who drown babies. I don’t think that run has been canon for a while anyways.) island nation that was literally blessed by the gods to never have to deal with things like political upheavals, drought, famine, foreign relations, or any other complexaties that real countries have to deal with. Now, to her credit, Wonder Woman isn’t NEARLY as bad as some of her countrywomen, but that doesn’t mean her upbrining hasn’t influenced her worldview and she certainly has never condemned the policies of her nation. She doesn’t treat men as scum outright by any means, but she DOES ignore the shortcomings of women and sees most if not all the troubles of the world as being the fault of the male sex. Just because the woman is empathic does not mean she isn’t a bitch. Also, base Wonder Woman would and has been dogged by base Superman many times. She is maybe the fourth or fifth most powerful JL member goes by base state abilities behind Superman, Martian Manhunter, Shazam, and maybe the Flash. That said, there are forms of Wonder Woman who would make all other base state JL members look like preschoolers pretending to be tough.

Jazz Fenton: Jazz is not a good psychologist or therapist in her teenage years. If you want to age her into her mid-twenties or later after she goes through a proper program, then by all means make her better at helping people with mental and emotional issues. But as a teen she is god aweful at those things. There is a grand total of ONE instance where she showcases actual skill at being able to pin down and identify someone’s issues and that was with Freakshow, whom in that very conversation she admits to having grown up with many of the same feelings he did regarding envy of ghosts and the attention people in her life give them. She never figured out Danny was a hero due to her skill at psychology or determining the cause of his stress, she stumbled onto him transforming after days or even weeks of forcing herself into his business and him asking and then demanding her to leave him alone. Not only this but, and I feel like this should be a very big thing with how much people love to shoehorn in trans-Danny stuff, she routinely calls people by the wrong name even when corrected by others and is told to her face by the people she is misnaming that she is wrong. Some of her names are even dehumanizing like calling Skulker ‘Ghost X’ like he’s nothing but a test subject!

Also, while I’m pretty sure she would qualify as a skilled CQC fighter, I don’t think she ever improved her aim. So while having her judo throw someone or deck them in the schnoz is good, she would probably miss if she had to shoot anyone with a Fenton Blaster at anything further than point blank range. And no, the Peeler doesn’t count, that shit was a full on mechsuit and shots that had a margin of error bigger than a car.

Valerie Grey: This one is a big one for me and probably the big reason I wanted to write this entire section so here it goes:

Valerie Grey ain’t SHIT as a hero.

Now, as a character, she is perfectly fine. She has a full arc with reasonable and understandable reactions to various events that shape her growth as a character. Granted these events make her into a shoot-first, speciesist, possibly slur-throwing, self-righteous, asshole for a while (you know how the ACAB movement sees cops? That was Valerie for a long time, just without government backing and with an oligarch sponsor instead.) but she did eventually get better after the whole thing with Dani and finding out that Vlad is Plasmious. So again, as a character she is good.

As a HERO however, she is really freaking bad. We never really see her do anything major after her revelation with Dani and before that she never actually wins any fights. Danny is always so far out of her league in fights that the only reason she isn’t dead is because he knows who she is under the mask and holds back because he doesn’t want to hurt her. He was capable of blowing up her original suit in a single blast for crying out loud! And even in her second suit he barely had any trouble keeping pace with her WHEN HE WAS ACTIVLY TRYING NOT TO HURT HER! We also never see her defeat any named ghost, I barely remember her even fighting anyone other than Danny, and she is overall just fodder as far as combat goes.

She isn’t scary, she isn’t intimidating, she isn’t the type of girl who could ‘kick Danny’s ass’, she is at best a pissed off woman with a lot of guns and fancy gadgets who thinks she's hot shit despite never winning a significant fight. 

Heroes are friends with all the Rogues… Except Joker:

Just… why? Why do people want the heroes to be friends with mass-murdering nutjobs? Be it Danny with Ivy who is basically Undergrowth with tits and a pulse, or Tucker with Technus, or Tim Drake with Harley Quinn it doesn’t make any sense! This isn’t a case of ‘Oh, when they aren’t on the job they are cool people’ like with Flash’s rogues. Nor do they have admirable moral codes or anything else. That kind of stuff is exclusive to Flash’s gallery. Why does everyone write hero or retired Danny as being friendly with villains and thinking they are cool people?! Killer Crock has a tragic backstory but he EATS PEOPLE. Scarecrow makes stuff you could call ghost drugs but he conducts routine chemical weapon attacks on civilian populations! Deathstroke is a pedo or groomer in at least two major timelines! Ra’s runs a cult that kills its OWN MEMBERS whenever they fail near-impossible tasks! Just because they aren’t as full on 24/7 creepy fucker murderers doesn’t mean they are any better than him!

On that note, why do people insist on having Sam idolize Poison Ivy or Jazz admire Harley Quinn? I don’t have a high opinion of Sam and how she goes about her activism and forcing her lifestyle and beliefs on others, but she doesn’t go around drugging people, stealing their money, forcing them to ruin their families, and then killing them! And I like to think that even if Jazz isn’t a good psychologist she would have better taste than to idolize someone who broke a very basic tenant of mental health professionals by getting too attached to her patient and went on to COMMIT MASS MURDER and help TORTURE PEOPLE in an effort of turning on her psychotic boyfriend! 

Hating Superman on Kon-El’s behalf:

I get that this trope stems from season 1 of Young Justice, which I will freely admit is an amazing season of a very good show, but I think people forget a few things: 1, Superman’s hatred/distrust of Conner manifests in avoiding him at all costs, not being rude or badmouthing him or anything of the sort, he just doesn’t want to deal with him and what Conner represents. 2, Superman grows out of his hatred/distrust of Conner in like, a year. It was an initial kneejerk reaction paired with extreme awkwardness and distress, but his stance on his clone-son with Lex does get better. And 3, the one who actually hates clones is Supergirl, Kara Zor-El. She straight up gave Conner his Kryptonian name and told him TO HIS FACE that it meant ‘Abomination in the House of El’. She basically named him a slur and said that was all he was. And as far as I am aware, she never apologizes for this nor does their relationship ever really improve beyond ‘we will work together if we absolutely have to’.

Dani and Dan call Danny ‘mom’ ((CONTENT WARNING: Mentions of SA!!!)):

Okay this one is a bit weird for this rant because I will freely admit that depending on if certain other tropes are used concurrently to this one, it makes sense, but by default I say it doesn’t. Ignoring how Danny is by default and in most cases male, his contribution to the ‘conception’ and gestation of Dani or Dan’s clone body (if you ignore A Glitch In Time and have Dan in his original body, Danny still didn’t do any gestation or anything, but things are admittingly different) only went so far as providing some DNA. Vlad did the whole cultivation thing and making sure the decanting happened safely and all that good, very important, stuff. So wouldn’t Danny be the dad in this scenario? Since the equivalent to a regular birth here would be Danny hitting and quitting with Vlad (que barfing reflex at the thought of Danny/Vlad stuff) purposely getting a baby made without Danny’s knowledge for his own benefit and desire for a child? Even if you go by the more accurate real life correlation to SA, Danny still played a male role here because he didn’t carry/grow the baby/clone.

The only reasons I can see for Danny to be labled the ‘mom’ in this situation are; Danny is more nurturing than Vlad– which by a sexist standard means he’s the maternal one–, Danny was the victim in the unauthorized baby making and is thus in the female role– again, a sexist standard–, or because people think ‘single parent’ and immediately assume ‘single mother’. (To be clear, I know that statistically women suffer all forms of SA far more often than men, which is beyond terrible, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen the other way around as well.)

Now, to be fair, if you are also doing trans-man Danny, none of this holds weight and them calling Danny ‘mom’ could stem from that, or because saying Vlad had a kid with a teenaged trans-man makes Vlad look SO much worse and by calling Danny ‘mom’ they are trying to imply that kind of narrative. Which is not a terrible way of writing a story where Danny, Dani, and Dan all hate Vlad, go for the throat and make him look as bad as possible if that’s your goal. I’m just saying that in the default state of Danny being male and Vlad being the one who looked over the cloning pods, Danny is the dad and Vlad is the mom.

[dont-blame-it-on-the-kids]

50 Random Character Asks: Mako

OH MY GOD this took me 4 hours sitting down lmao

here you GO lins underway i am not accepting anymore FULL Asks but if you have a few numbers (up to 10) and a character i will accept those

1. Canon I outright reject

All of book 2 my fucking god. The whole love triangle never happened. He found Rina, and he fell in love. They’re married and pregnant with the twins in book 3 

2. A canon or headcanon hill I will die on

His wife and twins, foreverrrrrrr

3. Obscure headcanon

He turned into the unofficial handyman for his apartment and is always helping when plumbing goes wrong or when the aircon units go haywire 

4. Favorite line

I like any line where he's pointing something ONLY HE noticed out like it was obvious and just being a good detective. (also those cheesy cop lines he was practicing lmao) 

5. Best personality trait

That hes pretty willing and ready to face challenges head on 

6. Worst personality trait

Hes so stubborn and thick headed i love it 

7. Age/height/weight headcanon

Hes like 18-22 throughout the show 

I think he’s 6ft 5inch 

Idk weighs probably a little underweight in book 1 cuz street rat probender, but after then lin gets him set up in an apartment and she and kya along with asami just make sure he’s got food stocked. 

8. Unpopular opinion about them

I know its not mako specific but I hate Wu*ko I HATE IT 

9. Scene that first made me love (or hate) the character

Him getting work at the electric plant ONTOP of being a probender, a part of the Krew, and trying to keep bolin from trouble. True big sibling activities. 

10. Best moment on screen (or in the book)

I really like the scene where he fights the red lotus in zaofu. He does a good job. 

11. Faceclaim for the role

Chai Hansen

12. Crack headcanon

He’s allergic to Lychee nuts but thinks Lychee juice is supposed to be spicy. 

13. Dumbest thing they’ve ever done

If we’re looking at canon he fumbled BOTH Korra and Asami, my mans, 

14. Most heroic moment

Honestly I know end of book 4 was a big moment for him but I think he was a hero LONG before with keeping him and Bolin safe on the streets and as out of trouble as they were. 

15. Worst thing they’ve ever done

Godddddd that good intentions but ruining the investigation in book 2 i CANNOT dont get me started 

16. Deepest darkest secret they won’t even admit to themselves

He hates bolin, he hates that bolin doesnt remember their parents well, he hates that he had to raise him, he hates that bolin gets to be irresponsible while he had to grow up at 8 to make sure they were okay. He loves his brother, he really does, but when he’s no longer responsible for bolin mako refuses to accept the relief that comes with that for a while. 

17. Quotes, songs, poems, etc. that I associate with them

Can't Go Wrong by Phillip Phillips

Sleeping In by All Time Low 

18. What they’d go to see a therapist about

Everything for reall like his parents being murdered infront of him batman style, to raising bolin, to having every adult that new him before we did in the show was abusing him (i.e. the probending owner taking his entire winnings, the triad they worked for when he was younger. My boy had it ROUGH) 

19. Vices/bad habits

I think he picks up smoking honestly. I think he’s been smoking since he was like 11 with the triad and he doesnt let bolin know but he hasnt been able to kick the habit. 

20. Scars

I think he's got a few thinner like knife and burn scars before the explosion scarred up his arm. 

21. Drink of choice (not just alcoholic)

Milk 

22. Best physical feature

Cheekbones lmao the cheekbones in that show are insane 

23. If they were a scented candle, what would they smell like?

You know that moment when someone throws pine needles on the fire? And its pine and charcoal and fire and smoke. Yeah, maybe like that. 

24. Most annoying habit

Sleeps with socks on 

25. 3 things they’d want to take with them if they were dropped off in the middle of nowhere

Some money, a map, and his scarf he’ll make his way home lmao 

26. What they would do if stuck in an elevator with [insert character of your choice from the same fandom]

Dont matter who hes with hes gonna get them all out lmao 

27. Their guilty pleasure

Wood carving, he doesnt think it’s a useful use of his time and as the unofficial handyman in his apartment he’s usually rather busy.

28. How they feel about [insert character of your choice from the same fandom]

🤷idk i depends on the person lmao 

29. Eating habits

Bad, bad bad until he meets rina. He gets like A cup o noodles in mid day and mostly survives off milk and juice lmao 

30. Sleeping habits

He has stints of nightmares sometimes but most of the time he can sleep anywhere, unless its too soft. He cant stand soft beds. 

31. If the had a tumblr what would it look like?

He would have a family blog where its pics of his family and the twins and updates and their art and stuff. Then maybe he’ll reblog some like fandom stuff from probending or a radio show he and rina listen to. 

32. Something guaranteed to make them smile/laugh

His twinssss he loves them so much 

33. Something guaranteed to make them cry

Theres a song that his mom used to sing all the time. He still cant listen to it without crying. Rina finds out the hard way when she was humming it cuz it was stuck in her head one day. 

34. How they react when they are feeling X emotion (sad, angry, excited, scared, etc.—can specify as many as you like)

Bottle it mostly. Emotions can be dealt with later. 

35. Their idea of a perfect day

Wake up and make the family breakfast, head off to work for a bit, move a few cases forwards, get home, have dinner, bathe the twins, get them to bed with a story book then cuddle on the couch with Rina until bedtime. 

36. Their favorite season

He loves winter because hes not overheating and people stand closer to him for warmth lmao 

37. What they really think about themselves

He thinks he’s doing well by the end of the series. In my hc world He’s married with his twins, he and bolin have found a name and a path for themselves and they’re not struggling anymore. He’s really grown up and done a lot of work. He’s proud of what he’s done and who his family is, both chosen and blood related.

38. Favorite holiday

Growing up on the streets they did not celebrate holidays for many reasons. He hated them for a long time. but seeing the twins opening gifts on the in universe equivalent of christmas, lin, kya, and asami over for dinner while korra and bolin were away during the timeskip and seeing the twins so happy and opening gifts and stuff. He found he could enjoy the holiday again and even was looking forward to the next years dinner when the twins were older and bolin and korra were back. 

39. Favorite game

He enjoys playing Cabbage Land with the twins (thank you @btheleaf for the Candy Land knock off name)

40. Favorite book

He really got into the romance series lin brought with her to the stakeout once lmao hes not so slyly asked to borrow her copies. Rina, Lin, and Kya have included him on their book club meetings now xD 

41. If they could have lunch with anyone in the world (living or dead, from any fictional universe or the real world), who would it be?

I think he would want to meet his grandfather (i’m excluding his parents cuz thats a copout answerrr)

42. 3 comfort items

His scarf, a tiny glass bird a homeless man made him when they were on the streets (he made bolin a small fireferret), and a photo he has of him korra and bolin from the probending team 

43. 3 favorite foods and 3 they despise

Fav - strawberries, Rina’s chicken fried rice, and he was surprised he enjoyed walrus-cow chowder as much as he did in the south. 

44. Their happiest memory

Hes got a few lol, when he married Rina, and when his twins were born. 

45. Their favorite celebrity

He doesnt seem the kind to follow celebrities too closely honestly. 

46. The person they most admire

Lin Beifong 100000% shes the reason he joined the force and he kinda is always looking for her approval. 

47. Their dream job

He seems to be really good as a detective. Maybe he would have liked to stay a probender for life but the trauma from the attacks were too much to go back really. 

48. Scariest moment of their life

When the dust settles in book 4 and he doesnt know where Rina and the twins are. He doesnt know if they were on the last train out or stuck in the city during the attack. 

49. Favorite toy as a child

He used to have this wooden bird that worked as like an ocarina. Hes using his wood carving skills to try to make one again and maybe make some for the twins.  

50. A memory they’ve blocked out

👀👀 lots of things can happen to young kids on the streets.

[fictionalmenmakemecry]

Bruce Wayne's therapist

Author's note: Hey guys! It's been awhile and to be honest I've been craving some Batman since watching the movie ( I'm well aware that it's been over a year). I've been going back and forth wondering if I should. So here's a sample of my ideas. Let me know what you think!

Ps. This is not going to be accurate to any comics. Please don't come after me. I'm just having fun with my imagination!

Characters: Bruce Wayne x Reader (Fem!)

Summary: Bruce and you have an arrangement for both of your needs. No feelings, strictly services which you are happy to participate in.

Warnings: Fluff

"You should be asleep" I spoke out into the dark quiet room.

Computer screens were the only source of light creating his silhouette.

"Mhmm" He grumbled completely slumped in his chair.

I walked over closer to see the usual site. Bruce staring at different CCTV footage of Gotham City.

His eyes drooped with fatigue and the permanent residue of black smudges around his eyes, giving him a deathly appearance.

His eyes slowly crawled their way to me but his head never moved.

"I don't know anymore. The more I try, the worse it seems" He mumbled.

"I don't think you're going to figure it out tonight" I murmured.

We stayed in silence for awhile. He was reluctant to leave his desk but he knew I wasn't going to move. He pulled himself up out of his chair. His stature slowing towering over me.

I still couldn't believe he was Batman. I knew Bruce had a rough background but to turn into someone like Batman... Well, that was fucked.

Finding out Bruce was Batman was an accident but not a mistake I made. Stumbling upon this bomb happened in a moment of madness. But only the madness Batman would find himself in. Of course, me being in the center of it.

I was a childhood friends before anything happened to him. Before the devastation of his parents passing. We lost contact or I guess he just disappeared off the face of the earth after that. I always wondered what came of him.

As much of an recluse he is. I did run into him and after all the years, I'm surprised we recognized each other. His face going pale when he first landed his eyes on me, I still remember clear as day. But that's when I met Bruce not Batman. Which is a whole other story.

I looked up at him. His hair a mess on his head.

"Come on, let's get to bed" I nudged him lightly.

He didn't budge.

He leaned his head down making light pecks on my neck. I angled my head wanting him to keep going.

"Mhmm" I moaned quietly, feeling his hands on my hips and his thumb sneaking it's way under my shirt.

Before I knew it, he had lifted me on his desk, He wedged himself between my legs looking me in the eyes.

"I need this" He whispered.

"I know" I said softly looking into his bloodshot eyes.

He dropped his head making me comb my fingers through his dirty hair.

To say that Bruce was under pressure was an understatement. He put pressure on himself to make a change, to deal with his trauma and to solve everyone's problems. He held everything on his shoulders and when it came down to it. Sex was the only thing that broke him down from all of that.

No strings attached. He made that clear. He didn't want a relationship. He wanted therapy, in the form of sex. Which I would gladly give and have given him, for the past 6 months.

Of course, within those 6 months I did find out his big secret. To be honest, I'm not saying fucking batman was not on my bucket list but it is now and yes, yes I have crossed it off. He refuses to fuck me in the suit which I've asked several times.

But I need to remember that fucking him is fun for me, but it's needed for him and I guess fucking in the suit just doesn't do the same job, therapy wise.

I felt my shirt getting lifted more and more until I had to raise my arms to get it off me. His eyes trailing down my body with an underlying hunger which made me squirm. His fingers grazed my collarbone to my shoulder making it way to the side of my breast.

I took a deep breath, feeling the teasing get to me like usual. He glanced up giving me the weakest of smiles.

Him seeing me squirm under his touch, I don't know if he got off on it or it made him relax. Either way it made me lose all of respect for myself and beg him to just slam me. Which he never did. He dragged it out as much as possible.

Savoring the peace he felt within those moments.

Masterlist for other fics

[pinkrobinontheloose]

So

Here's the thing. (This probably is going to be a disaster and some trauma dumping on my behalf, and with some grammatical and spelling errors 'cause English is not my first language, so be aware)(Side note: I'm from Venezuela, which will play a huge part in everything I'm about to say)

It's hard living with your parents when you're the youngest and the only one who got a college degree, out of all your siblings. And is autistic/depressed/chronically ill.

It's rough.

Recently, while I was seeing a Tik Tok about the Batman and I realized why I vibe with Tim so hard, more than any other. 'Cause I'm the same way. They were talking about the roles that children take in abusive/neglectful/dysfuctional households.

They talked about 4 roles:

- The hero (Dick): A child who takes on the role of the parents.

- The rebel (Jason): They like to go against the rules and forms of authority, as well as dynamics wich include some form of power dynamics. Also, they could, in some way or minimal form, be part of the problem.

- The lost child (Tim): The quiet, discreet one. Who's needs often are overlooked and hided.

- The mascot/brains (Damian): It uses the comedy and laughter as a way to distract the attention from the dysfunctionality of the family. As well, the brain ones, are the ones who takes any minimal chance they get to use the mistake of one member against them.

And they talked about in how this roles played a huge part in the development of this child's and their adulthood.

As soon as I ended that video I cried super hard, because I saw myself in Tim.

It feels selfish and narcissistic to say it, but I was the lost child.

My sister was the hero, my brother the goofon and I was the lost child (wich is such a dramatic title).

Our house was a weird combination of the 3. My parents were there in our childhoods, but they never where really there. Our family dinamic could range from being super happy to be supper tense and scary in just one second. My father is the center of it all. You didn't want to piss him off. He rarely is abusive physically, but God, did he have other ways to hurt you. My mother is mostly, distant, she will scream and insult him and pass it as taking care of us, but at the same time, she only did it for herself. She will tell you to just succumb for anything my father says, if that means she can keep her peace of mind.

My sister will always try to protect us and care, she was the one who tried to advocate and fighted our parents. She is this strong, protective, quick witted woman who has so much emotional damage that limits her capacity to love and feel secure with people, especially man. She is our Dick.

My brother on the other hand is an asshole. A jerk who is neglectful with his children in his own way. A big jerk to woman's. I... He did things to me which I never talk about and no one knows about, except me and him. He always tried to pass everything as a joke and made seem that everything was fine. My dad and him always had an explosive relationship, they will have screaming matches, physical figths, neglect, shaming, hatred, everything that they could do the other. But was my mother's favorite. And he became Jason of our family. Everything he does, is forgived and passed as a mistake or misjudgment.

Then there was me. The weirs, sickly child who's siblings hated for being the reason their parents no longer cared for each other and played by the rules this parents established, the one who never quite understood why people treated as if was an stupid with high grades. The one who had to take the downfall of every single one mistake the other two did. The one who had to be the fucking parent for her own parents. I'm Tim.

So, imagine my surprise when I saw that, and only I could think of all the ways I failed my "family" to be "more family like" instead of thinking about all the things they let me down for.

I just....

I remember the only therapist I saw in my life told me once "you can't always expect to make them happy, as well, you can't expect them to make you happy or being happy in your behalf. Cause to them, you are breaking the mold and expectations they set up, even the ones who wish you good, set up expectations. They conditioned you, and you conditioned your surroundings to believe that, if you make a mistake, you're not worthy of love. You are the problem"

So yeah.

I'm Tim.

I'm the problem.

[adultswim2021]

The Venture Bros. #47: "Self-Medication" | November 23, 2009 - 12:00AM | S04E06

Season four continues with an episode that is really good!!! Like, one of the better ones for sure. Like, there have only been a couple episodes I’ve felt blah about, and even those aren’t too bad.

In this one: Dr. Venture goes on a boyish adventure with a bunch of other former boy adventurers. They all belong to the same therapy group, which also consists of Action Jonny, two Hardy Boys style guys who clearly murdered their parents and got away with it (ala the Menendez Brothers, who didn’t get away with it), a tubby ex-Wonder Boy, and a cute little robot child. Somebody kills their therapist and they need to go to the local strip club to investigate. 

Meanwhile: Hatred is having withdrawals at the movie theater with Hank and Dean. He’s out of the medicine what makes him not want to touch little boys (sexually), and starts having a panic attack. He abandons his post and locks himself in the panic room. That’s it! That’s the episode! Rusty and a bunch of losers wander around like it’s a Richard Linklater movie and Sgt. Hatred has a mental health crisis. Like, I literally have been sitting here thinking to myself if there was an A story and these were just the B & C stories.

But the thing is: this episode is hilarious and great and I’d put in the pantheon of “very good episodes”. And this episode has Seth Green in it! You’d think I’d be too pissed off at him to not overlook this, but I did! He plays the jockier of the Menendez/Hardy Boys. His brother is played by professional virgin Jon Hodgman. Brendon Small reprises his role of Action Jonny, who is definitely, legally not Jonny Quest. Patton Oswals plays a former Wonder Boy, one that didn’t get murdered by the Monarch (he probably just got fucked by him). This wonder boy is based on the actor who played Robin in the 1940s Batman serials, who grew up to be a middle-aged man with weird hair. The Ro-Boy is a parody of AstroBoy, and he’s voiced by Jackson Publick. He’s famous too, he’s just, you know, the creator of the show and not a guest star. 

Stuff I will mention now: 

I love all the scenes with the therapy group. Great collection of characters. The therapist with the racist “native” puppet is so funny, I love the “chemical dependence” line. 

There is a nice-sized slur in this one, and it’s followed up with Action Jonny saying a crass joke about giving a guy’s wife herpes. His hit-you-over-the-head phrasing of “after I put herpe in there” was a Brendon Small ad-lib and improves that joke tenfold. 

There’s a deleted scene where we see Rusty’s brown friend jump into the pool during the flashback scene, when Rusty is being forced to undergo talk-therapy with his abusive father. That’s why you see him swimming around in the finished episode. I wondered about this. It turns out he jumped in that pool first. 

The commentary has a big long section cut out of it. Jackson and Doc actually record a little thing to replace the missing audio, explaining that they had to edit something out of the commentary. Have they ever said what that’s about? 

MAIL BAG

Did you enjoy the Oscars? Who on adult swim would you give the awards for Best Actor, Best Actress, Best Director, and Best Picture to. You can do others if you are feeling frisky but I don't want to bowl you over.

i don't respect acting or actors and I don't think we should encourage them. Best picture is uh, Kentucky Nightmare, directed by Space Ghost. I didn't like the Oscars, I didn't see any of those films :(

I'm watching Delocated again thanks to your blog and I was loving it until there is a scene where Jon says "If tea is what he wants then T is what he's gonna get" and then he holds a big letter T. I thought that was just so stupid. Like I thought I was watching Sesame Street. Put the letters away.

You don't like Sesame Street?? What do you like??

You're invited to hang out with three of your favorite adult swim stars. The catch? You have to hang out with Andy Merrill and he brought his favorite board games. You must play with Andy to have access to the other celebs. Do you?

I really do think that questions like this are meant to make me look FOOLISH, as if I like to sit around having childish fantasies of playing Cards Against Humanity with Brak. Well, I have a non-childish answer, maybe the most adult thing I've ever said, as a matter-of-fact: I would do it, but I would pick only hot sluts and have sex with them in front of Andy while he whined about being married in a Brak voice. What do you think of that you gay little ho

I was re-reading your Saul of the Moleman writeups and wow, what an awful show that was. My friend insists that Gerhardt Reinke's Wanderlust is good. I think there's no chance because this guy is a clown. Tell me for him that it sucks too. Please. Even if you don't believe it. Bend the truth for my advantage.

You know what I haven't really watched it but for you? Sure: that show sucked, and that's the reason I turned it off before the first commercial break of the first episode. Sorry, but Saul is a gay little ho

Any plans for Oscar's Big Night?

It was rather quiet, but I appreciated their minimalistic approach this year.

[royal-phoenix]

You look like the sort of person to make liking Elon Musk a personality because you haven't got one yourself. Were you dropped on your head as a baby? Were you left alone in front of the television for too long? Did your parents teach you that hating people would stop you thinking about how worthless your life is? These are all genuine questions I need to ask you. Do you honestly think that ignoring any kind and rational thought that couldn't entered your brain is going to stop you from hating yourself. Go get a therapist, please. Maybe get off social media for a while, it's obviously not doing you a world of good. Now don't even try and think up some sort of clever way to tell me that I'm an ignorant fool, we all know who you're really talking to. I mean, I can practically smell your insecurities from here. Do you wish you were born a different gender? Do you wish you could tell people who you loved/don't love? Because you kinda have made hating lgbtq+ you're whole thing at this point... I mean well done, you're so original... but anyway we all know everything we do is projecting on other people (don't understand? That's ok sweetie, didn't expect you too. Basically it means you hate yourself so much that instead of making that your internet personality, you try and pick apart the people who show similar traits to you.)

Or maybe I haven't got this quite right. Is it perhaps the classic: I know nothing about this and that makes me very frightened so I'm going to make their lives a misery...

Does that sound right?

Look I don't know about you, but having tantrums and calling people horrible words aren't going to win you anything.. didn't anyone ever tell you, you can't have everything. But then maybe that's why you're like this. Maybe you never got anything and get mad when incredibly beautiful, vulnerable groups, who have been incredibly brave, take a stand and are proud of themselves for once.

Now, I'm just making assumptions but you definitely don't sound mentally stable.. I would ask if you wanted to talk but I don't want to hear you whinging anymore than I've had to.

I hope you realise how silly you look.. how old are you? A greasy 30-40 year old man whose unemployed? A 13 year old boy with daddy issues? A 50 year old woman with karen energy and religious trauma? I mean how idiotic can we get.

To talk about cis the "slur", I mean I'm not going to take someone who calls people revolting words, seriously. I mean god if you would stop dividing cis people and trans people then we could all just be people 😭

Your. Logic. Isn't. Logic.

I mean happy pride month, I hope you have the day you deserve 😶

Don't even bother to reply, I don't want to see you pop up on my tumblr ever again just go kiss elon's ass or smth way less pg 🥰

HAHA HOW HILARIOUS YOU'VE COMPLETELY TAKEN AWAY THE ANONYMOUS THING BECAUSE YOU FEEL THE NEED TO STALK US. I mean god all you'll find on mine is some shit sketches and loads of batman reblogs 🤣 unlike you, I process my childhood trauma very differently.

Have a fucking day :)

And you sound like the sort of person who makes generalisations about people. Also, I have never seen such a long rant online - I think you need to seek mental help...as soon as you stop foaming at the mouth and pick your toys up. But thanks for making me laugh this morning - you sound so crazy and unhinged it made me chuckle thinking about you furiously typing your words whilst on the verge of a breakdown. Brilliant. Haha

You have literally just thrown a tantrum. Therefore you have no right to tell anyone else what to do. My advice: grow up, realise you are not special and don't forget to take those meds! Now off you run, mong child..

[combexperience]

This is my 500th post on this blog. To celebrate, I will take one word from each of my posts in order, and try to make a coherent thought out of them. HERE GOES!

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[brucewaynehater101]

Saw the ask about rogues and civilians thinking Red Robin died while he's off on BruceQuest AND discovering he spent years undercover as a sex worker and thus band together to makes entire sections of the city impossible for other Bats to enter

Fuck, how does this affect Red Hood? From Jason's own personal thoughts on Tim and (how much does he learn?) to his reputation

Yeah when Tim's hero reputation is irreparably FUCKED before he does things himself and goes off on BruceQuest, all hell is breaking loose and now a good chunk of Gotham's people and rogues are . . .

As far as they know right after the kid got Smear Campaigned he fucking DIED

Wtf would they even do after that?

Dick-as-Batman is gonna have it horrifically, how are civilians and rogues gonna treat Damian as Robin? Will they try and kidnap Dami to try and save him from Jane Doe's fate?

What does any major character think of this? Individually or collectively?

How does this affect their relationships with each other? Oh God, Alfred; what about him?

During BruceQuest do rogues and civilians alike try to reach out to the third Robin's associates to see if they need help themselves like Cassie

Joker???? What about him and if this is a timeline where Tim was earlier Joker Junior'd? What will he think when news comes out what will he do?

Does Harley decide, after Red Robin returns and it's revealed the kid is alive and well, to go "Joker is objectively 100% awful but he was up to something" and adopt Tim as her own kid of sorts, but without Joker sharing custody and doing it with her owm friends instead like Ivy?

My brains melting, go crazy go stupid

Alright!!! Let's try to answer the questions ^^

For Jason/Red Hood, it depends on how much RH is associated with the Bats. Before the BruceQuest, it might not be well-known that he's allies with the Bats (especially because he's shot at or tried to beat him up). Depending on how public his aggression towards Robin (now RR) was, this might endear him to the areas that are closed off. As far as emotionally, there Jason had to resort to crime and desperate measures just to eat. Dealer's choice on whether he had to resort to selling himself or not. Regardless, I bet Jason throws up repeatedly in horror and distraught after finding out that Tim has been doing that during his time as Robin (not sure when Tim would have started, but at least as young as 15). There's a bit you can explore there with angst and shit (especially since Jason attacked Tim at the age of 15).

I think that maybe Gothamites would believe that Robin has lost his marbles in grief. However, that makes perfect sense due to everything he's been through (as far as what's publicly known of him being a child therapist, Robin, and losing Batman). Despite them thinking it's possible he did lose himself, at least he wasn't putting people in the hospital like Batman did. I think they would be more upset that RR wasn't supported and how hypocritical everyone was.

It's a toss-up on how they would treat Damian. It probably varies between despising the child for taking over R3's place, wanting to protect him, and being indifferent to Batman throwing another child into the line of fire.

Alfred is debatable. How cruel it is to Alfred and how the old man reacts depends entirely on how he acted to Tim during his years of Robin, whether the 16th birthday incident happened, and whether he intervened when Damian said harsh comments to Tim. That would change Alfred's reaction to being either "fuck it's all my fault" or "what more could I have done so this didn't happen?"

Maybe a rogue or two tries to reach out to RR's non-Gothamite associates. I'm curious how Anarky reacts to all of this.

Adding JJ to this AU would be so fucking cruel to Tim, but I'm down for that. That would give him parent issues with 3 sets of parents, but Harley is just a complicated mess of emotions and shit. I think she would take on more of an aunt role to Tim due to the whole JJ incident. There could be some angst there with Tim calling her Aunt Harley

[dzpenumbra]

6/24/23

I think I opened up some family shit in therapy yesterday. I started to talk about it in my journal last night and stopped myself. I don't even fully remember it. It felt like stuff I had covered in therapy a bunch of times before, it didn't feel like... new. But I had super fucked up dreams last night.

It was really weird, I woke up from a nightmare, and I actively woke myself up. Like... "yep, I'm dipping out of this, I don't want to see this." And woke up. Like I just somehow unplugged myself from the Matrix or something. I don't know if I sorta deep down knew it was a dream, and just went... "yeah, I'm done" and just pulled myself out of it? Or if I just was like a soldier in a WWI trench rocking back and forth going "this is just a nightmare, this isn't real" until it stopped. But yeah, it was not good.

I journaled it, of course. I had to use my old dream journal that I hadn't looked at in ages, because I brought my current one down to read an excerpt from to my therapist. It had a lot of film references. My dream the night before did too. I don't really know why, I'm not making movies, I'm not making videos... my art isn't even telling stories. But that's where my dreams have been going. The one night before last was about me being a film director for a group that was roleplaying skateboarding in the mid-80's... and they were really excited and had some big names involved, but they were doing it all wrong. The tricks were all wrong for the time period, the boards were the wrong shape, they were using cameras from the early 2000's, they were filming while skating along. Like... it was all off. And I was dreading having to tell them. Because I knew they were going to be pissed off and start fighting with me. I knew conflict was coming.

Last nights dream makes that look like fucking child's play. It makes that look like an unskilled leader who can't manage adult children. Last night's dream was... actual danger. I'm even hesitant to retell it. I'm actually feeling hesitation to even go to bed tonight. Like... it was bad. It was a really cursed dream. --- I'm actually freezing up a bit here not sure if I should share this. I feel like I'm going to "pollute" my dream potential tonight. It's kinda silly, but it does happen.

Fuck it. It was a very long dream, but my memory goes back to a point where I was watching a movie that was like Batman Begins... the same tone of it, but with The Joker. Like... it wasn't The Dark Knight, it was definitely the feel and tone of Batman Begins... but with the chaos of The Joker in it. I don't know, that was the vibe I got. I was at my parents' house, sitting on the back steps. I was watching it for inspiration for a video I was supposed to make. I don't remember why. I went to film, we did a scene in the driveway. In the driveway, there was really ornate marble shit all over, like really big broad stairs and weird decorative awnings and stuff. Very out of place. There was a part where I had to ride a horse, for some reason. And as that part ended, I was made aware of a group that was... sorta operating out of the front of my parents' house, off the front porch. They were playing videos non-stop, I remember seeing the lights coming out the windows and illuminating stuff on the porch. My little brother was with me. He let me know it was some weird shit. I found out that they were broadcasting the audio in a way that you could only hear it if you clenched your teeth, and it reverberated off your teeth and basically used your head as a resonance chamber, and you could hear the audio in your head. (Not very subtle that there's some hidden shit going on there, huh?...) As it gets dark, my brother and I go and investigate. We meet the guy who is heading the thing, who... I'm just getting bad vibes from this guy immediately. I already know he's shady and there's weird shit going on, but I gave them benefit of the doubt and went there to see what their video stuff was about. He showed us a video. It was really fucking weird... super surreal and freaky. It was like... a super close-up cutaway of two floors - a floor and a ceiling viewed from the side, and a person's hand on the top, and the floor was like... you know, carpentry materials, whatever. Idk. And then these fucking tentacle things... like giant worms? Started to push through the floor like it was the consistency of a moist cake. It was the consistency that really freaked me out. Like I knew this was a solid wall or floor, it was very clear... and the way it smooshed through was just... really fucking freaky. And I asked the leader guy... (not actually serious, I don't think, to kinda cover my... suspicion of him) if I could get his permission to use some of his footage for a project sometime. And he was a hard no on that, and got super defensive and suspicious. And while my brother and I were there, he gave us iced tea. I remember that. From a big plastic Arizona jug. But I noticed after we drank that... a sticker on the jug had obviously been tampered with.

There was a sense of urgency at this point. I gestured to my brother I would be right back and ran to take some dishes (I have no idea how I got those) in to the kitchen to be washed, and I started to very quickly come up with an escape plan. I needed to get us out of there immediately. And I actually had a plan. It was something from much earlier in the dream, or a different dream earlier that night. It was a place either in my old college town or the city I live in now. It wasn't ideal, and it would be a surprise "visit", but it had to do. I was literally doing this all on my phone and I didn't stop moving, I was going as quickly as possible, full "oh fuck" mode. The walk back to the kitchen was when I noticed the Arizona sticker had been tampered with. And in order to get to the kitchen, I had to go around the entire building. So... I leave the back door at the kitchen and suddenly it's fucking pitch dark out. And there are three cars in the driveway, all running with their lights on and shit. And I walk around the building and see... where my brother usually parks his car (he still lives there) the car was turned around and the headlights were on, and there were like 5 or 6 people silhouetted and one person lying on the pavement. And I just fucking noped. I just knew.

I noped out of that and immediately woke up. Immediately. Like "I ain't doin that shit" and eyes open. And I didn't want to journal it. But I did. And I expected to check my phone and see "11 AM", but I had actually gotten 7 hours of sleep. Super rare.

That fucking sucked. And it hurts a lot because like... my little brother and I aren't on speaking terms. And I don't even know why. He has really bad communication issues, and I'm pretty sure his social anxiety is way worse than mine. And he's never been in therapy. I worry about him a lot. And I really woke with that feeling that lingered for hours, that's coming back right now. I can't save him. I can't help him. Don't get me wrong here, you can always be of help to people, and it's really fucking good to be. It's incredibly noble and virtuous to be a charitable, generous, good person. But you can't help people. You can only assist them in helping themselves.

That might sound trite and beaten to death, like something people say to get out of the responsibility of helping people... and yes, plenty of people do that... but there is a very valid point that this is rooted in. Someone could come into my home and offer to be my personal trainer and nutritionist for free. But that offer, that assistance, that help means nothing if I won't do the work. If I won't commit to changes in my life. If I don't want my life to change. The leg work and willingness to change has to be there, or else the help is useless. And my family is fucking rife with refusing to ask for help. Pride. "Independence".

It's a weird power/control dynamic that can come out of an obsession with "independence". Independence, of course... being a complete myth. An illusion, that feeds the prideful ego. "Everything you see, that was me." "No one helped me." "I am very capable, I don't need help." Worshipping independence has always been really odd to me... because if you happen to succeed... you end up alone. It's literally anti-social, by nature. It's outright refusing, simply on prideful principles, to even seek finding roles for others in your life. Because relying on a social network, on social support, is a liability. Or, in the eyes of many that I've encountered, a "sign of weakness".

You'd think... after I lost my entire social network... that I would be obsessed with independence as well. Quite the opposite. I know the value of a social network more than anyone. And from what I've seen, most of the people I've been around who have this independence obsession... they deeply fear being alone. It's weird. And I feel like it's ultimately pretty self-destructive. I mean... god forbid they succeed and actually achieve true independence... they'd be building their own prison, their own hell.

I used to live by the "you can't ask for help" creed. Never so much out of pride... more the opposite side of that same polar structure... shame. "I should..." "I should be able to handle this." "I should be better than this." "I'll just work harder, I'll just try harder." "I don't want to bother them with this." That one was a classic.

Then I went to the other extreme, after I finally broke out of that shell and realized... if I can just... break shame's control over me... there might actually be life-changing assistance on the other side. The suffering might lessen, my life might actually change. I had the vision, I had the willingness to change, I was wiling to do the work, I just... needed helping hands with stuff. It was a huge realization that like... I was the only one holding myself back. And I could build any life I want, as long as I was willing to put in the work to build it. So... I started to ask my "support system" for help. And I became... very quickly... "the needy one".

Looking back at that shit... it's still laughable. Good lord. The shit that I got chewed out for? Just because the people I was talking to were trapped in fucked up home lives and they were fucking envious that I was single, childless and had direction in life. God... it really is easier to stomach (even for me) that I was just being unreasonable. Because believing the real narrative? That's fucked up. Sabotaging someone else's opportunities, someone who was finally brave enough to ask for help after years of suffering in silence, because you're not brave enough to ask for help with your own problems. Man, it just makes my fucking heart sink.

It always makes me sad to see what our suffering does to others. It's so fucking hard. And even harder to put into words, it's such a surreal experience to be in the moment and have someone you love treating you like absolute human garbage, like a stress ball or a punching bag or something, and... to see right through them... and see all the pain and suffering and the elaborate card house of stories and rationalizations they have told themselves... It makes me want to sit them down and pat them on the back and tell them it's going to be okay. While they're screaming in my face and blaming me for shit I didn't do.

I don't know what you call that. Being able to see behind the curtain like that. And I still struggle to know what to do in those moments, because often... being compassionate and selfless feels... willingly self-destructive... as though I'm consenting to abuse... in order to remain a Good (with a capital G) person. And because of that... I, again... think I need to find a spiritual group. I've been leaning this way for a while, I just... don't really know what school to gravitate towards, because I'm really all of them.

I feel like Zen Buddhism or Taoism has resonated the most with something I could put into a regular practice. I even have a bookmark of the Zen Center in the next town over, right up on my Bookmark bar staring back at me. My problem with it is this... Zen seems very meditation and self-reflection focused. And... I really really really want to sit down and talk to people. Or even just listen. All I fucking do all day every day is sit with my thoughts. And I can always work on meditation more, and plan to in ways that... fit with me. That aren't forced. Because meditation isn't like... working out. It's not something you do to see how long you can do it, or to "get really good at it"... it's just a thing. Like pissing. Or breathing. It's just taking time to... just exist.

So yeah, that's the reason I didn't connect with the Zen Center, it seemed like the only way to really connect with anyone there was to just show up to one of their group meditation sessions. And that felt supremely awkward, and I had a sick cat at the time. Idk where else to look. Maybe I could just send them an email and express where I'm at with that, I don't know.

Anyway, yeah, I'm still really shaken up. And this shit clearly rattled me, provoked a lot of ghosts in my head. But I actually started playing around with the Zen Garden today - for most of the day, actually - and it was really nice. I remembered all the Smokey Quartz I tumbled for my first tumble. Quartz that I went and gathered with my pup, that I tumbled and washed on the porch the summer she passed. I never really had a use for them, I was going to wire-wrap them someday... (COPIUM) So I just sorta made a design out of them, then made sand ripples radiating out of that. And it looks cool. And I can rearrange and redesign whenever and however I want.

My new goal now... is to try to thin the sand out even more. I want to try the air separation. I'm going to try that tomorrow, to see if I can separate the super-fine sand from the micro-gravel. And I sorted sand from gravel using water instead of dry-sifting it today, so I'm going to see if I can separate it even better that way.

Pee break, then tarot, because I've been going a while now.

Past - Knight of Wands, inverted (Creative potential, vivacious, not afraid of a challenge, he is naturally disarming and uses it to his advantage.  Passionate, complete dedication to anything enrapturing.  When in extreme, he can be a daredevil; reckless and potentially dangerous.) Present - IX: The Hermit (Soul-searching, introspection.  Moving slow, calm and grounded.  Being still in the midst of a storm.) Future - Six of Pentacles, inverted (Charity, selflessness, either giving or receiving. It is innately a gesture that does not expect gain or reward.)

Alright, I'm just gonna wing it again and then check my work after.

This one starts with inverted Knight of Wands. As far as the Wand face cards goes... I'm pretty sure it's... the Page is the helpful youthful energetic worker... the Knight summons the creative flame, so he is passionate and wily, for better or worse... and the Queen is the meditative guardian of the kindled creative fire. And I don't think I've had the pleasure of meeting the King yet. So... the Knight is kinda rogue-like, brave, adventurous, charming, but... we're looking at inverted here. So... either I'm struggling to connect with this image, or the dark side of him is manifesting... being a bit reckless? Possibly endangering myself or others with impulsivity?

This connects to... big fucking shocker here... The Hermit. I surprisingly haven't gotten this one very often. The Hermit represents... a phase, a period of life that is devoted to self reflection, solitude and stillness... in order to gain a new perspective on life. That tends to be... as displayed through the symbolism on the card... to move a bit slower, to stay grounded and steadfast, and stay in the Now.

This is connected to a new card for me, inverted Six of Pentacles. I had to do some research on this one, but not much, it's pretty simple. It's charity, it's generosity. A gesture of giving without the expectation of compensation. And... that is inverted... It's hard for me to think about being more generous than I have been, considering the needs I currently have. I feel like the inversion is less about me not being generous towards others... but more of... generosity struggling to find me.

Let's connect the dots, let me just paste in the card definitions real quick... So... This is stemming out of this Knight of Wands phase going a little fucky. Believe it or not, yes... I did used to embody those qualities. It's what drew in my ex's attention, for better or worse. The downsides of this... me being a bit too impulsive and cavalier... led to a retreat into isolation, which luckily evolved into insight. Evolution, metamorphosis. And I did find much more peace and purpose, and I live life at a much slower pace. This has, however, led to a disconnect from society. For years at a time. And I still have my struggles. As I was writing the Six of Pentacles definition, I was asking myself... "I wonder if I can get disability for my PTSD shit, but only to pay for my therapy or any meds I'd need." Like... I could have been on disability since 2019, easily. My last therapist was really encouraging me to do so, and unemployment too... as a way of reducing my family's influence and control in my life. But... as much as I ranted against pride earlier... I still have my own battles with it. In the end, I don't know how much of a difference it would make in my life. I need to connect with a community much more than financial support at this moment. But yeah, that's what was popping into my head when I thought of "charity" regarding me. And my response is... "I'd rather get social support through career connections." "I'd rather a fishing rod than 20 fish." But beggars can't be choosers, can they?

Idk, I know how I got here... for the most part. I just struggle getting out. Especially since my trauma responses and shit make it super difficult to even entertain the idea of socializing without something bad happening.

That said? I've been looking for a multiplayer game. XD I think I need to do that. I was looking at Space Engineers or modded Minecraft RP... but I have a feeling Minecraft RP is going to be full of people way below my age and intellectual level and... yeah. Probably not my style. But I can find out, you know? I feel like Space Engineers might be good. Or a Roll20 game, man... I haven't been a legit player in a d20 game since... my teens?! Ugh, I just kept getting really shit luck with groups, they'd never make it past the 2nd session. Idk, I think just having some social interaction is a great step in just... regularly recalibrating that super sensitive social fire alarm in my head.

Anyway, I'm actually nodding off. And I want to go and bring the birdseed inside. The mourning doves were... well... I attracted a few too many of them. There were fucking 5 of them on the windowsill yesterday. I feel bad, but they're not the most graceful flyers, they keep bumping into the windows and shit, and I'm afraid they're going to start landing on neighbors' windowsills and upsetting them... somehow... or drawing a lot of attention and getting my landlord mad at me? ... I just see attention being drawn by a lot of birds chilling there, and that translating into bad. Oh... oh... That's a trauma response isn't it? Speak of the fucking Devil... XD Because I'm struggling to actually construct a narrative here. The birds flying into the windows? Sure, that makes sense, I don't want anything getting hurt. But... it hasn't been that bad. And if anyone has a problem? They can just leave me a note or something. I'm literally always here, I'm not hard to get a hold of. So... I'm not going to do that. I'll just leave the birdseed, it's fine. I don't need to make a problem out of it until it becomes one.

But since I glanced over there... my bean plants have already sprouted. Growing like goddamn beanstalks, I tell ya. So... that's a more positive note to end on. Fingers crossed my dreams aren't as bad as they were last night, because I'm thoroughly exhausted.

[fictionalmenmakemecry]

Batman therapist - Part 2 (prequel)

Summary: While been taken hostage under the Wayne's residence helps you develop a severe case of boredom, you occupy your mind with thoughts of Bruce. Understanding his strange behavior leaves you with more questions than answers.

Characters: Bruce Wayne x Reader

Warnings: Fluff

Looking up from my book and seeing the god like sculpted muscles with what the towel would let me see. The little of light that would brush against his skin softly.

Water droplets fell from his hair and rolled down his back. Would it be too much from me to say that I would lick it off his body in an instant?

Hearing him in the shower when walking past his room. I swear he would tease me, the way his door would be ajar.

I spent most of my time here barely existing. I daydreamed most of the time whether that was while deep in many of the books that were here or looking at particular someone. Bruce had a routine and by the first week I had it down.

Mostly of his routine was by himself in his little cave from what it looked like.

As weeks went by, I stayed. I questioned first, many many times. But the same response came from Bruce and Alfred. My safety.

Somehow I got tangled into Gotham's troubles. Bruce wouldn't let me go. For how long? No answer.

I know I've definitely lost my job. My plants are probably dead. My apartment could be broken into by now and I wouldn't even know.

In the events that lead of up to strange existence, I lost my phone so I felt pretty much cut off from the world. Alfred would give me a private line to contact my family to tell them I'm safe. But other than that, not much else.

"Miss, do you want to have the rest of that sandwich that you were saving for later?" I snapped my head back.

My attention completely broken from the corrupted thoughts running in my head.

"Oh.. Yeah, that actually sounds great" I smiled crawling out of my big cozy chair I made a den in for the last couple of hours.

"I've noticed you have taken quite a liking to that chair when reading over the last couple of weeks. Would you like Mr. Wayne to move it to your room where you might be more comfortable?" Alfred offered leading me to the kitchen.

"There's really no need. I kinda like the cozy corner I have in the living room right now. Unless.. I'm in the way?" I asked realizing this might be "Mr. Wayne's" request more than Alfred idea.

"Of course not, I just suggested. I know I just like reading when I'm in more my space" He wholesomely smiled while handing a plate of my left over sandwich.

As I ate, some stray piece of lettuce fell out of the sandwich. I felt a presence walk behind me. With that, the chair beside me pulled out.

I casually glanced over to see the towel still around his neck but underneath a black t-shirt was now covering his soft pale skin.

"What's that?" He gestured to the food on my in my hands.

"A sandwich" I stated holding back a smile that was peeking through my poker face.

He rolled his eyes and I noticed his jaw clenched. My thighs automatically pressed together.

"No shit.." He mumbled.

Before he looked away a small smile crept up on his face. My heart jumped at the thought of me making him smile.

I looked down at his hands, they were fidgety. He couldn't sit still. Within a couple of minutes, he was gone again. I looked over at Alfred who was busy pouring himself some coffee.

"How do you relax around him?" I smirked

"Change you mind about the chair now?" Alfred chuckled taking a sip of his coffee.

-------

After saying goodnight to Alfred, I made my way to my room. Every night I past this stairwell that lead presumably to the basement. I argue with myself most night whether to go down or not.

"Fuck it" I whispered to myself. I glanced by to make sure Alfred wasn't near and quietly made my way down the stairs.

Dim lightening peeped from the bottom of the door. I pressed my ear against it, nothing.

I turned the knob expecting it to be locked but hearing the latch click. I paused realizing the door was unlocked. I opened the door gently hoping it didn't squeak.

Through the crack, I could see him at his desk, all surrounded by computer screens which were casting a bright light on to his face. That was the only light source in the big open void space. I would see shapes of object in his room but nothing too detailed.

I tried to focus on what was on all the screen but I couldn't make out anything. I just knew two of the screens had several CCTV footage on them. I squinted my eyes, straining to see anything further.

As I leaned more forward the door hinges made a high pitch squeak, ripping me from my focused trance. I pulled back quickly not knowing if he noticed or not. I held my breath for a second listening to any cue of what may be happening.

Suddenly the ajar door jolted open.

It took a second for my eyes to adjust in such darkness.

"What the hell" He voice stayed low with a hint of annoyance.

"Uhh... " I fumbled my mind going completely blank.

"That's all?" He replied I couldn't really make out his facial expression.

"I didn't realise taking you in means I would be losing my privacy" He sighed leaning up against the door frame shoving his hands in his sweat pants.

"Well... I think you're being a bit dramatic" I smirked.

"What were you doing then, peeping Tom?" He snapped back.

We both stood in silence in the near pitch black doorway. The only thing I could see was the silhouette of his frame from his computer hub.

"So can I come in?" I whispered, breaking the silence.

He didn't say anything. He just shifted his weight and turned, leaving the doorway free. He made his way to his desk and plonked his body on his chair. As I slowly entered the room, I watched him exit out some windows on his monitors. The CCTV monitor stayed. The closer I came the more I noticed that it was live footage of Gotham city.

He spun around in his chair to face me. I continued to look around, but the room was in the depths of darkness. Making out anything was a mission. I think there was a wall full of book shelves on the left of me. That's where a couple of reading chairs and a coffee table were, that I could make out.

"Satisfied?" He stated, bringing my eyes back to him.

I nodded but felt lost in the middle of the room. I didn't want to leave knowing this was probably going to be the last time I would be here. It's the only part of the building I haven't explored, and I wanted to see more. To be honest, I wanted to watch Bruce. I wanted to see what he does for hours and hours. I know I won't get that now due to my presence.

I walked over to one of the leather reading chairs, feeling his eyes on me the whole time.

I sat down, the cold material pressing against my legs. I brought them up on the chair and rested my head back.

We looked at each other for a couple of seconds before he turned back to his desk and continued with whatever he was up to.

The quiet clicking of a mouse every so often was the only noise that filled the room. I glanced down to see his leg shaking under the table, nonstop. It was a tick I didn't expect from him. His eyes stayed focused on the screen in front of him.

As time went by, I felt my eyes getting heavy. I fought the urge to stay awake until the next think I remember is waking up in a bed.

My bed.

My eyes followed a beam of sunlight, cutting my bed in half and continuing all the way up my wall.

I laid there wishing I was in his room instead.

Masterlist for other fics

[galahadwilder]

I relish the idea of Harley Quinn, licensed therapist, figuring out how much damage supervillains are doing to Batman’s psyche and just. Going, “fuck it, I’m your nemesis now.”

Like she offs the Joker and then starts taking control of the Gotham underworld but like. Shifts it away from creepy serial killer shit towards 1966-era silly crimes. So like Bruce is walking into Riddler’s latest plot expecting him to be like “answer my riddles correctly or I’ll kill a hostage every hour!” except that it turns out that no, Nygma is just stealing pudding because it’s St. Patrick’s Day special and it’s colored green.

Harley’ll be like “I’ve TAKEN OVER GOTHAM, B-man, and you’ll have to work your HARDEST to stop me!” except all she’s done is hire a bunch of clown flash mobs to dance YMCA inside various police stations so Bruce just gets a little light exercise. Sometimes she breaks into the Batcave but there’s never any danger in it because she just wants to have tea. There’s no worry about any of his children getting traumatized because if she sees any of them are having problems she immediately stops her schemes for an impromptu therapy session