#FUCK MY STUPID HONDA LIFE

[brawngp2009]

[yugiohmangaoutofcontext]

[orionsangel86]

I watched X-Men 2000 tonight. Yup the Deadpool and Wolverine brain worms got me - at least for a little while - so I figured I'd rewatch the old movies that I havent seen in over a decade and have basically forgotten entirely at this point.

You know what really stunned me? Even more than the slow pace, serious tone, actual dedication to telling a coherent and interesting story with layers of meaning and social commentary attached to it, as well as a sincerity that's been missing from most superhero films since the MCU was born (thanks Josh Whedon).

Nope, what shocked me most was this:

This is a perfect specimen of a man. Look at him. He's gorgeous. But look at his chest? His arms? He's muscular, he's pretty well toned, he's hairy. He's definitely got a six pack - but it's nicely covered by a healthy layer of fat. His skin is plump, he has a bit of squish to him. He'd probably be great to hug (Jean Grey certainly gives him a good squeeze lol).

When he sits down he looks like his stomach will roll just nicely. Like a stomach should.

I know my point here is obvious. It's just that scrolling the Deadpool and Wolvering tag is basically 50% "oh they definitely fucked in the Honda Odyssey" (yes lol) and the other 50% is just horny posting over Wolverine's topless scene like the entire site suddenly adopted Deadpools horny brain.

I gotta give props to Hugh Jackman for his dedication to turn himself into an actual comic book character - because that's what this new movie does. It gives us a comic accurate Wolverine in practically every way (except for his height lol) the suit is amazing, the cowl was a joy to see brought into live action. The body too though was straight out of a comic book artists male power fantasy.

What I wanted to emphasise was that this:

Is extremely tough on the human body. What I wanna know is how long he starved and dehydrated himself for before filming this scene? How long before they shot this did he last drink some water? Because damn that must have been tough. The oil and the lighting probably help further emphasise the muscle, vein, and sinew definition. It's probably similar to how body builders prepare before a show.

Nothing about body building is healthy though. So in the coming weeks as the whole entertainment industry rides on the coat tales of this movies success, and everyone goes crazy over Hugh Jackmans physique, please don't feel pressured into thinking that his 2024 physique in the movie is remotely realistic - or realistically attractive. Like I get the fantasy sure, but come on. I'd personally rather lie on a cushioned bed than a concrete floor.

Deadpool may disagree with me, but he's a masochist lol.

Oh and whilst I stand by the shade I threw at the MCU above, I think Wolverine's different physiques in the movies is a good standard of comparison for how much superhero movies have changed. Because when superhero comics first started getting adapted I think a lot of the choices made were about how to bring them to live action realistically and believably and the attitude was to try not to make them look ridiculous. The first X-Men movies definitely do this.

It was about bringing the comics to life in a way that fit in our world. But over the years, as audiences got more and more used to comic book movies the movies became more and more like comic books and less like a realistic adaptation of a comic book. Does that make sense? So as the movies attempted to bring the comics to life in a way that was less realistic and more comic accurate, the demands on the actors to sculpt their physiques to meet the standards of comic book art became normalised.

I think Deadpool and Wolverine is the MOST comic book accurate of all superhero movies made in the past 2 decades. Half the time the images from the movie look like they could be literally pulled from the pages of the comic books. The story is convoluted and stupid, the plot is barely there and is full of gaping plot holes and elements that don't fit any past stories. The action is ridiculous, extremely fast paced, gratuitous, and violent to a hilarious level. But it's so entertaining, joyful, exciting, and laugh out loud hilarious throughout.

It reminded me a LOT of my attempts at reading through the Deadpool comics (I've read a lot of them but no where near all of them).

To sum up this rambling message with multiple points, I'll say that Deadpool and Wolverine is a really fun movie that I thoroughly enjoyed, but make no mistake there is nothing real in it at all. It is almost literally a comic on screen. Don't expect anything more than that and you'll enjoy the experience.

[honey-on-your-tongue]

Hey, I wanna a a request from you.. about the worst wolverine!Logan (or the one in th x-men series) × mutant!fem!reader.

Reader may have powers like Wanda Maximoff or Jean Grey, but she's stronger. Anyway, there's my main plot; enemies to lovers, a HUGE breeding kink, possibly pregnancy(the a result of the kink hehe) Wade is the person who introduced them, and Reader's Wade' bestfriend. They saved the eart 10005 and they celebrated this at Wade's (and Blind Al's) house. Logan may be a complete jerk to the reader at first, and he may have attacked the reader in the scene in the Honda Odyssey, but then things change and so on. Can you write somethin' like that? If you do, thanks already!!! See ya, bub, take care of yourself.

I’VE HAD THIS IN NY DRAFTS FOREVER WHAT

HAPPY HOLIDAYS

I hope you enjoy this, babes ❤️

Ever since Wade came looking for him and took him to earth 10005, Logan’s life has been easier. There’s less hate towards him (which is an understatement, really; he’s now adored and it never ceases to surprise him) and it feels like, maybe, he’s redeemed himself from what he did. Maybe, his luck has finally started looking up.

But then there’s you. You infuriate him. Every time he sees you, he just wants to put his claws through your ribs. Although he did that already, in the Void, in that stupid fucking Odyssey. But it wasn’t nearly enough. God, he can’t stand you. The way you talk, the way you walk, the way you handle yourself. Sharing an apartment with Wade and Blind Al doesn’t bother him, he even stands Mary Puppins and her hairlessness. But you? You who likes to walk around at night in an oversized shirt and sweatshirts, who leaves the apartment smelling of your perfumes and shampoo after you shower, who he can hear as you fuck yourself with your fingers night after night.

His room is next to yours, he’s heard the way you work yourself up, how you eventually manage to get your pussy soaked enough to stuff your fingers into yourself. It pisses him off. And what he hates most is that his body reacts to it. Having been so hated in his world means that the last time he had sex was…Well. It’s been a while.

So he uses that as an excuse. Of course he doesn’t want you, his body just needs the sex, that’s all. He wants the sex, the release. Nothing more.

Maybe that’s why he does what he does.

On one of those nights where Blind Al is probably too out of it with her cocaine and Wade is probably at Vanessa’s, he hears you. The sweet sounds of your little whimpers and your heavy breathing, the obscene, slick noises that leave your cunt as you fuck her with your fingers. And Logan can’t take it. He just cannot take it anymore.

He barges into your room and delights in the way you react. Your wide eyes, the way you scramble to pull your fingers out of yourself and cover your body with the bed sheets.

“Logan!” you yell, cheeks blushing furiously. “What the fuck are you doing?!”

“What are you doing, bub? Touching yourself like you think I can’t hear, or like you hope I will.”

“You didn’t even fucking knock,” you continue, mortified.

He closes the door after himself, locks it just in case. “You’ve been at it for hours, bub. Hours. Is something wrong?”

Still flushed, you refuse to reply. You just clutch the bed sheets tighter.

“Can the poor little girl not come on her own?” Logan insists, smiling. When you fail to answer again, he insists, “Hm? Do you need help, girl?”

The look in your eyes tells him everything he needs to know. The scent of your arousal thickens and he’s lost.

He’s quick to crawl onto the bed, prowling over you. He leans down, lips nudging at your neck as he gently pushes the bed sheets aside. “Let me see you, baby,” he says lowly, his eyes hungrily taking you in.

You’re so beautiful, prettier than he ever thought you’d be.

His already hard cock twitches in his pants, demanding attention, but he ignores it. For now.

“So pretty,” he says, mouthing at your jaw as his hand slips between your thighs. He touches the slickness spread over your skin, how warm your pussy is. Your folds are swollen, your clit throbbing. You’re probably raw from how long you’ve been touching yourself, so he’ll make sure to not overdo it. He’d hate to hurt you.

He slips a finger into you, groaning as he finds little resistance. “God, you’ve got yourself all stretched out already. All open for me.”

He leans back onto his knees, pushing your legs up to your chest and spreading them apart. He eyes your cunt, all needy and spread wide.

Growling quietly, he reaches for his pants. He pushes them down to his thighs, his eyes on you. “Let me put my cock in you, bub,” he says, almost begging.

You’re so out of it, dazed with the need to come and the lust that’s overcome you, that you just nod in agreement. “Yeah, yes.”

He wastes no time. Slowly, he nudges into you and fills you to the brim, the breath leaving his lungs. “Fuck, Logan.”

“Yeah, I know.” He grins, pleased with himself. He starts out slow, thrusting into you with care as he tests the waters. When your pussy releases its grip on him some, he thrusts harder, deeper.

You squeal, hands gripping onto his forearms as they hold your legs to your chest, keeping you nice and spread for him. Your nails dig into his skin, your eyes squeeze shut. He’s fucking you too hard for you to even say much. You just whimper, gasp, mewl.

It helps that you’ve been touching yourself for so long. You come around him with so much force that your body falls limp against the bed, your pussy spasming around his cock.

And it’s not fair to him. He hasn’t had sex in so long, how is he even supposed to hold back.

“Oh, baby. Oh, baby. I’m gonna fill you up, bub. Gonna put my child in you.”

You gasp at the words, whining lowly.

“Yeah? You want me to make you a momma? You can make me a daddy, hm, bub? Yeah?”

Your body writhes underneath his, your eyes wide as they meet his. “P-please, yes. Please.”

That’s all he needs. Not only did you just give him permission, but you’re begging him for it.

“Baby. I’m gonna fill you up, ‘m gonna fill this pretty pussy with all my come and you’re gonna keep it in you. You’re gonna give me a child, maybe two if you behave, hon.”

And he does. When he comes, rope after rope of thick, sticky come spurt into you. He fills you up until it’s dripping out of you, until he’s spent and he can’t come anymore.

You two stay there a while, trying to regain your breaths and let the high wash away. He kisses your forehead softly and lays own next to you, knowing he’s gonna be ready to go soon.

For the next few weeks, it’s more of the same. He fucks you again and again, filling you with his cum to the brim every time.

That’s why it’s no surprise to you when you miss your period. No surprise at all. In fact, you have no doubt that Logan is going to be thrilled. Now there’s only the matter of telling him…

---

Blog masterlist

[gallavichsreddie1128]

Feelings and Faults (Wolverine)

Description: Logan loves Y/N but she’s too caught up on the past.

Word Count: 1,020

Requests: Hi I was just wondering if you could write wolverine x reader smut where he is in love/obsessed with her and she has feelings for him but doesn’t acknowledge it because she doesn’t think she deserves to be loved which could be down to past trauma (it’s up to you) but then they confess their feelings inspired by the scene in the Honda Odyssey just without deadpool please it’s okay if not

Author’s note: I didn’t see the smut part until I went to post so that’s not part of the story. But I hope you like it!

She sat in the Honda Odyssey with a drink in her hand. She never really was one for drinking but times like these it was needed. Everyone was either inside planning the attack on Nova or by the fire drinking. She was in the car, alone in thought. Not realizing that she had someone that could never look away from her.

Someone that loved her and wanted to be with her even though she had fault in that. After losing Erik she never felt like she could be loved again or deserved it. But Logan adored her and wanted her forever. In his universe Y/N and Magneto were the happy couple that he let get killed. He always adored her but could never have her.

Now, she didn’t have Magneto in her life anymore and he wanted to be the one to fill the void. He could tell that she beat herself up over it and the blame was on her. Whatever happened between them, he would never believe that she was fully the one to blame. She deserved love and happiness, even if she couldn’t see it.

After his talk with Laura he walked over to the car that he knew she was in and got in the driver side. She looked over at him and saw a bottle of whiskey in his hand and smirked. He was definitely one for drinking. But she couldn’t blame him. “How did I know that you were in here?” He asked and she shrugged. “Despite what Wade says, I think the Honda Odyssey fucks hard.” She said and that made him chuckle.

Wade hated this car but Y/N liked it. “I also didn’t take you for drinking.” She smiled at him and held up the drink, “Cheers to that. I never was a drinker but after things go south it’s nice to have one.” He watched as she chugged the rest of her drink and held out her cup to fill it up. He gladly poured her another glass. “So about the fight earlier-” “Don’t mention it. He’s fine.” “I’m talking about you. Us.” She looked over at him, “What’s there to talk about? You’re right. I beat myself up over a guy that probably never gave a shit about me.” He felt guilt for saying that to her. “In my universe, you guys were married. Had kids even. You two were in love.” She rolled her eyes, “And let me guess we died?” He nodded and cleared his throat, “Yeah. It was awful. I constantly think back to that night and it haunts me.” “It was probably meant to be.” He looked at her, “What do you mean?” “I’m not meant to be happy in any universe.” He wanted to roll his eyes at her and her stupidity but he kept going, “No. That’s me. You sit here and act like nobody loves you and you’re alone but that is fair from the truth.” She looked at him as he finished off the bottle.

“Y/N, In my universe I was in love with you. I wanted you so bad but Erik beat me to it.” Her eyes widened in shock. His words repeating in her head. “The first second I met you I felt it all come back. Only this time Erik isn’t in the way. It’s you.” She chugged her drink before she could get out the words, “What?” It wasn’t a question of her asking him to repeat what he said or that she couldn’t hear him. She simply could not believe the words that left his mouth.

“Don’t act like nobody loves you and doesn’t care about you. I do! And I always will.” She stared at him with wide eyes. Sure, she had some feelings for him but she beat herself up after what happened with Erik. “You’re drunk.” She stated and he laughed. “Unbelievable. I pour my heart out to you and you tell me I’m drunk?” She didn’t know what to say to him at this time. “Y/N, Erik was a fucking idiot for not loving you and trying with you. You’re amazing and beautiful and only a dumb fuck like him wouldn’t see that.” Her eyes filled with tears, “You can’t mean that.” She whispers and he sighs, “Well I do. And if Wade wasn’t there earlier than maybe this would have come out sooner.” She turned away from him and sighed.

This couldn’t be real. There was no way he was telling the truth. Was he? She looked up at the top of the car, “The Magneto that Cassandra killed, that was mine.” He turned to look at her, “The TVA had got him before I could save him. I feel like the biggest fuck up about it. It wasn’t that he didn’t love me or wanted to be with me. It was never known but we had something special.

That’s why I was so nervous about coming here. I was so scared that he wouldn’t want anything to do with me and hated me but he’s dead. That’s worse than him hating me.” She was pouring her heart out to him. “I want to believe you, Logan. But I don’t know. After seeing you and you helping us I realized that maybe Erik wasn’t the one for me and that I could have another chance at happiness.”

“You can. I’m right here.” She turned to look at him to find that he was already looking at her. Maybe it was the heat of the moment but she really wanted to kiss him. As if he was Charles Xavier and could read her mind, he leaned in and kissed her. She kissed back and maybe it was the drink or the kiss but she felt herself calm down and realize that this was meant to be. “Erik wasn’t your fault sweetheart. You are not at fault for that. You deserve love and all the happy things in love.” She felt herself smile at his words. “Thank you, Logan.” she whispered and he smiled. “No problem, sweetheart.” He said before they locked lips again.

[tourturestarradio]

Helloooo!! I hope you’re doing alright :3

‼️‼️‼️SPOILER FOR DEADPOOL 3‼️‼️‼️

Can I request a crack fic? With either male or gender neutral reader, with Logan and Wade, in that car fight scene?

Like, the three of them are in that Honda Odyssey, and when Logan and Wade start fighting, reader just gets so fed up, they’re like: “oh my god can y’all just kiss already? This is painful to watch.” Bc that was me the entire time I was watching that movie😭🙏🏻 You can add anything else you want in there but I would love to see that! I absolutely love how you write so I don’t doubt you could make this just as well as your others!! ☺️💙

𝐔𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐘𝐎𝐔

"𝐖𝐞'𝐫𝐞 𝐬𝐮𝐜𝐡 𝐚 𝐦𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐭𝐨𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫.𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐦𝐞 𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐦𝐲 𝐭𝐞𝐦𝐩𝐞𝐫."

☆ ★ ✮ ★ ☆

Prompt: You're sick of Wade's and Logan's BS and for the first time you lose your temper on them.

Pairing: Deadpool/Wade Willson x G/n reader x Wolverine/Logan Howlet

Warnings: Cursing, Spoilers for Deadpool 3

☆ ★ ✮ ★ ☆☆ ★ ✮ ★ ☆☆ ★ ✮ ★ ☆☆ ★ ✮

You ducked and dodged under both of the mens attacks they had been fighting each other for the past 30 minutes with no breaks. All because Logan couldn't keep the mouth shut. So now you sat bruises, bullet wounds, and cuts covering your body.

"Guys! G..Guys can we please stop fighting...please?" but they both ignored you again, usually you were the calm one to defuse their arguments and they'd relax, before they were back at it again.

You looked between the two your irritation growing stronger by the second.

"Uh...Wade?" he was stabbing into Logan "one moment cupcake." you dodged a stray knife headed your way "Logan?..." he broke Wades arm "not now."

You were willing to just let them fight it out that was the plan until Wade had redirected Logans blades into your leg.

That was your final straw, "Will you two just fuck already?!" you shouted looking at the two "what the fuck are you-" "Logan shut the hell up!" he closed his mouth Wade laughing at him "ha you're in trouble now-" "Wade so help me God I will shove that stupid kitana so far up your ass you're be tasting metal for a god damned month!"

They both hushed surprised by your outburst, your were usually so calm all the time.

"Every time you both are around each other it's like a enemies to lovers trope just waiting to happen! the sexual tension is palpable between you two!" You pulled Wolverines blades out of your leg "you two just can't go five fucking minutes without wanting to rip each other apart, for fucks sake!" you rolled your eyes "by some grace of God I've made it this far with you two assholes without having a brain aneurysm!"

You pulled a baby knife out of your torso pointing to Wade "I mean I get it you both have your differences, you're doing this because you got a girlfriend that barely loves you. Little to no friends who enjoy being around but you care about them and that's what's important right? Right.so you want to do everything in your will power to make sure those people don't die because without them you have nothing to distract from the impending doom you feel in your gut that you're not good enough. But god forbid you ever feel safe or scared so you cover up all your problems by making half funny jokes and witty comebacks. How's that am I in the right ball park?" You faced Logan as Wade pondered on your words.

He opened his mouth to speak but you hushed him quickly "And you, you try to be all big bad and tough but you're not you're a sad lonely man with no family or friends because in your universe they're dead and there's nothing you can do about it. But because you were left alive you carry the guilt of losing the people you cared for the most everyday wishing you could go back and fix things and make them right, but you can't they're gone for good but instead of making something out of your life and trying to start new you decided to go on a murderous rampage. So now you carry that guilt on top of everything else so you drown yourself in those chemicals in a bottle to forget or ignore your problems instead of growing a pair owning up to your mistakes!"

You got out of the car "so in conclusion you both have your reasons for being here, you want to get back the things you love most, but you two fuck faces are too idiotic to realize how much you have in common so you ignore the good character writing and argue and fight every other scene! I mean come on how much more gay could you two get!" You huffed finally letting that off your chest and turning to walk away "now i'm going to leave for an hour to blow off some steam and you both have two ultimatums you either A : take those sweaty suits off and have the best hate sex of your lives or B: shut the fuck up! Grow some balls! and get it the fuck together!" you stormed away both Logan and Wade too stunned to say anything.

.

.

.

"That was pretty hot, i've never seen them so angry."

Safe to say they made up for now and continued on with the rest of the movie.

☆ ★ ✮ ★ ☆☆ ★ ✮ ★ ☆☆ ★ ✮ ★ ☆☆ ★ ✮

A/n: sorry this was so short!!!!! hope you enjoyed!

[beiasluv]

could i req being an f1 dilf's race engineer during their prime? like for ex. seb in his red bull era, jenson in brawn, fernando in renault, etc

a/n: knew I watched brawn gp documentary for a reason 🤭🤭 how you didn’t mention mark’s prime 😔✊

— jenson button

When you discovered Honda was going to resign, you had no idea how to go on. Of course, Jenson was your first priority – all the eyes were on the only female race engineer. They doubted you, snickered at you, and didn’t believe the team could make it. ‘Fuck them all, darling,’ and you’re here celebrating his win for the hundredth time. Drowned in champagne, dress hunched up a bit too far, or your heels in Jenson’s hand – he loved every moment of it. When you calm him down with only your voice in his ear or hug him when the whole world only cared for who’s P1. And, he loves kissing you pumping with adrenaline, camera flashing for the best angle.

— sebastian vettel

Sebastian was a menace. He is the lion of Singapore, and doesn’t apologize for winning. You loved being the one he mentioned you while soaking in sweat, smiling at his place in P1. ‘my lovely race engineer…’ Rumors spreading like wildfire but you two couldn’t give two fucks, saying you were good only for the sake of your driver. And he couldn’t care less, he got the hottest and smartest race engineer, and he’s wrapped around your little fingers. Obviously, there were times when he’s a dick, never listens to your advice, and he’s unapologetic about it – leaving him breathless when you pulled his Red Bull collar into a kiss to get him to think straight. ‘…do that again, schatz.’

— mark webber

His time in Red Bull was the most bittersweet moment of his life – and, of course, you were his heavenly sent angel in the midst of the stormy night. He would, and will, calm down whenever he hears your sweet voice in his comms. He blamed himself for not fighting harder for his place…and not fighting even harder for you, while the rest argued differently. And don’t even get me started on kissing him on his stubble good luck before any race – gripping your headset whenever he’s close to lifting off the ground, asking if he’s okay before even checking the piece of metal. ‘I’m alright, sugar..’ And then there are times when he kissed you too hard for getting that P1, showing you off.

— fernando alonso

One thing about villains was they know how to fight for what they love: Fernando included. He knows you were perfectly capable of protecting yourself against the stupid comments media had to offer, but he wouldn’t mind stepping in. Getting win after wins, other teams played suspecting eyes, claiming all the things they could. But you’ve tried to play under the radar, avoiding drama anywhere you walked on the grid. Hell, you can’t even be seen near other team’s drivers. And he doesn’t mind; plus, he knew he had the sweetest race engineer under his belt – and he doesn’t plan on letting go anytime soon. Just until you said I love you on the team radio, leaving him with a big smirk. ‘mi hermosa.’

[goldsbitch]

That one Christmas flight

summary: Y/N and Lando Norris are seated next to each other on a long flight. Innocent little Christmas tradition that Y/N does every year brings them just a little too close.

warnings: fluff, one-shot (whops a lie!), meet cute

Christmas. Y/N felt like an alien walking among people. It was impossible to avoid it. It was present in songs, in decoration, in fashion, online and on the news. Everywhere.

It's not like she was a grinch or anything. Nor was it because of some tragic incident causing trauma. Just pure fatigue from all the logistics and travel connected, which most kids of divorced parents faced every year.

Flying from Japan back to England, from her mother to her father, was a chore that seemed unavoidable. Her mother was kind enough to splurge on first class ticket for her, which her fancy Tokio job allowed. Ever since fours years ago, she continued a tradition that was introduced to her by a fellow Christmas traveller - the most stylish sassy French woman, who often spend the holidays on a plane. She would get herself and who ever was sitting next to her a glass of champagne and chat them up. Y/N has never laughed so much in her life like she did when she met this woman - so she took the tradition as her own.

Lando's plan wasn't to be on a flight from Japan to London on the 24th of December. He had so little time with his family and friends that this secret work trip to the Honda factory was really pushing him into staying with McLaren for the following years and not switching to a different team. This whole situation was like fuel for his current headache.

Y/N second guessed her tradition when a super gorgeous looking boy, who seemed to want anything but to be bothered, was sat next to her. She was used to having older people sitting next to her. Anyway, tradition is a tradition, so she eventually got up to order the classic. She nearly turned back at the thought that this guy was giving off some serious "I'm a dick" vibes, he had barely acknowledged her since she sat down. Luckily, she ignored this feeling.

When a glass of champagne appeared before Lando, he was sure it was a mistake.

"Well, to Christmas," his neighbor toasted. While he thought that she was a rather good looking girl, he was in no mood for a fangirl.

"I'm very sorry, um...I'll be happy to take a photo with you or something, but I am not in the best mood for a interaction with a fan."

She gave him a baffled look.

He continued. "Look, I'll be more than happy to sign anything. Or a photo, just as long you keep between un on which flight you saw me."

Y/N put her glass down, this was a first one.

"First of all, sorry for invading your private time. I have this stupid tradition of having a glass with whomever I'm destined to spend this Christmas flight. Guess I was mistaken. Second of all, I have no fucking idea who you are. So, calm down." She downed half of her glass. Of course this stupid year would include an asshole like this. Oh well.

Lando was confused for a moment and immediately after that he felt like an idiot.

"Apologies," he slowly replied, somewhat baffled. "I thought you were a fan and I'm just not in the mood for that." Y/N rolled her eyes and downed the rest of her champagne. "I'm Lando, by the way."

"Is that a stage name?"

"No, " he laghed. "I think it was a random decision of my mom."

"Interesting. Y/N," she introduced herself, without looking at him.

There was a weird tension in the air. Lando was determined to break it. Y/N was currently casually offended.

"Let me get you another one so that we can have a toast."

"Great, getting drunk is also an option. Hate flying sober," she joked.

Another glass was brought by a smiling flight attendant.

"So, how does this work?" Lando asked. Y/N was a person easily annoyed, however as quickly this came it also ended.

"Fine. There are rules, btw."

"Of course there are."

"Ehm, ehm, " she cleared her throat. "So, this tradition was started by Madame Tatanova and from now on, if you find yourself on a plane on 24th or 25th of December, you need to toast with your fellow neighbor passenger and answer the following: why and for how long-"

"I will have to write this down, I have a memory of a dead chicken."

"-I'm not finished! And then you follow up by your biggest regret and one thing nobody knows. The purpose of this is to gain or pass on wisdom and use the opportunity you'd normally miss by blasting up your headphones." She's done this for four times now, still the introduction was missing the "Madame Tatanova magic". Maybe one day.

"Ok..." Lando was not following yet, but he was keen on doing so. She raised her glasses, as did he.

"Cheers, to Christmas flights."

"Cheers, " he replied and they both sipped their champagne. "Wait, I have a question - what would you do if I did not speak English? Or if I was deaf?"

Lando was being his cheeky self and Y/N was not having it. She answered the question with a look.

"Got it! Anyway...what was the question?"

"Why."

"Why? Why is the sky dark or....?"

"Why are you on this plane."

"I'm trying to get to London from Tokio."

"I swear to god, I will ask to be seated somewhere else, Orlando."

"Lando, actually."

"If you say so..."

"Huuh, I'm going back from a work trip. And since you claim not to know me, I can probably tell you more than I should. Um, imagine I am in a band, right? I'm singing for a band and every few years they change their lead singer, one of the two actually, and I'm a the lead singer who might go to a different band now. But it's not clear yet and super secret actually. So, please keep it to yourself." Lando felt like someone who has just discovered speech and this was the first time he was using it. "Does that make any sort of sense?"

"Sort of I think. So you're cheating on your band?"

"Uhh, I'd say checking out options."

"Remind me never to date guys like you," she joked and immediately regretted that. Y/N was not good at flirting and did not want to appear creepy.

Lando passed on this comment, still not sure if he could trust this girl. "So, what about you? Why?"

"The curse of the divorced parents. One lives in London, the other one in Japan and I'm a package they pass each year," she said rather bitterly.

"Sorry to hear that."

"Yeah. I get to see mom twice a year and it's all always so planned and predictable. I would kill for spontaneity."

"Take me with you next time, I'm sure she'll be surprised." "Yes, she is a big fan of British guys, that's why she divorced one!"

"Great, happy to follow that route!"

Y/N started to relax a bit. This could be good, actually. "Ok, so now. For long are you staying in London, Lando?"

"Only few weeks. Then our music season starts. "

"Yeah, the one with all the singing, of course."

"Yeeah."

Y/N laughed a bit. He was suprisingly easy to talk to.

"So, how long?"

"A week. Then I'm off to Bologna."

"Uuuh, fancy that!"

"Yeah, I'm studying history there."

"Bologna is the one with the old university?" he asked, pretending he has never heard of that.

"No, not really, they just opened. Last year we did not have chairs, because the shipment got delayed," she replied with a dry tone.

"One does always study better while standing. I believe it was Socrates, who said it."

"Oh, yes. They teach you this at the singing music school?"

"Exactly. We were never allowed to sit."

They continued to chat all the way through the airplane dinner, getting few more glasses of champagne during that. Their laughter was interrupted by a flight attendant, who acted on a complaint from a fellow passenger. They both fell asleep watching a movie. Y/N woke up few times in the night and observed the boy next to her. Knowing this was the best Christmas plane encounter she ever had. Lando woke up as well, feeling strangely happy about the fact she was resting her head on his shoulder.

//

"Wait." Lando stopped her at the entrance to customs hall and pulled them both behind a column, so that they could not be seem by bystanders.

"Yes?" she turned to him.

"This might be weird, but can I kiss you?" Y/N looked at the boy in a hoodie standing in front of her, cheeky guy suddenly appearing nervous. He was absolutely gorgeous. She hated the fact he was random guy on a plane to London and not to Bologna.

"Yes. Must be midnight somewhere. So it could be like a New Years thing."

"Yeah. Just an airport thing." With that he kissed her. Just two young people having a little moment of silence. His kiss was a light slow brush on the lips. He cupped her cheek and her hand brushed through his curly hair. First kiss usually does not take long. For a person passing by, this would appear like kiss these two shared a thousand times before.

When they eventually parted, it all seemed a bit surreal.

"We never got to the second part of your Christmas interview," Lando commented.

"Well. Let's say that the one thing nobody knows is that I just kissed a random guy from the plane. And that my biggest regret is that we will never see each other again." For the first time, she was this bluntly honest with somebody who had just kissed her for the first time. It felt intoxicating.

Lando smiled. "See, I knew we had something in common."

Lando was usually not so open with his crushes, if he could even put her in that category.

"Don't worry. I won't search for you online or anything. I want to keep the mystery of Lando alive."

He kissed her once more, before they parted.

//

Their hearts felt a little more heavier than usual on midnight that New Years Eve. Both standing surrounded by their favorite people, yet with the one they would wish to kiss being impossibly far away.

part 2

_________________________

@superlegend216

[enbyfvcker]

"Come back home."

𝙒𝙖𝙙𝙚 𝙒𝙞𝙡𝙨𝙤𝙣 𝙭 𝙇𝙤𝙜𝙖𝙣 (𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙨𝙩!𝙬𝙤𝙡����𝙚𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙚)

𝙒𝙤𝙧𝙙 𝙘𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙩: 2k

𝙎𝙪𝙢𝙢𝙖𝙧𝙮/𝙥𝙧𝙤𝙢𝙥𝙩: a part two continuation from this from @psychohoneywhiskey because it rented a whole fucking condo in my head.

𝙏𝙖𝙜𝙨: Hurt/comfort, angst, fighting, fluff, kissing, happy ending, Wade needs a hug, Logan needs a hug.

Wade only got home when the sun was already rising. His suit was all torn up, and some wounds still healed from the fight he just had with some stubborn criminals.

He expected to see Logan sleeping on the couch, but he didn't.

Well, maybe he decided to sleep in his bed?

He walks to his bedroom with expectation but also finds it empty.

Actually, not entirely empty.

In his bed layed all the clothes Wade bought Logan folded. All the little thoughtful gifts he gave him. Everything that Wade got him to say through actions that he's wanted.

Looks like the message didn't land.

His heart tightens, tears welling in his eyes as he realizes that Logan left him.

Left after being willing to sacrifice himself for Wade. Left after making this crack house he lived in into a home. Left after letting Wade convince him to stay sober after decades. Left after stealing his way into Wade's heart, his life, his family.

And just like that, 𝘩𝘦 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘷𝘦𝘴. Without nothing with him but his suit.

Honestly, Wade doesn't think he should be surprised for this. He knew it was going to happen. He knew Logan was just waiting for an opportunity to get rid of him. Who would ever put up with him? God, if he could escape from himself sometimes, he would. He tried many times, too.

So could he even blame him, really?

In that moment, all the words Logan spat at him in that Honda Odyssey at the middle of a god forsaken void came back into his mind. They have been constantly in the past weeks.

He did feel like a ridiculous sad joke. He wanted nothing more than to be able to die alone because at least it meant he would just 𝘧𝘶𝘤𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘥𝘪𝘦 𝘢𝘭𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘺. That his attempts wouldn't just be self-harm anymore and that when he tried blowing himself up, he wouldn't just regenerate back.

He couldn't keep his job. Couldn't keep Vanessa. Couldn't keep Logan. If it weren't for Logan, he wouldn't be able to keep his fucking universe.

He'd never be an anchor being. He'd never make a difference or matter, so why would anyone stay?

He sobbed as he held one of Logan's shirts, burying his face into it and desperately trying to smell any remaining scent of him.

Mary Puppins walks in, her tongue out as she turns her head to the side, looking up at Wade with sad eyes.

"What's all that damn noise? Did you stub your toe again?" Al walks in wearing a sleeping robe and her sunglasses, apparently having awakened from Wade's ugly crying.

"Hey, Al..." Wade just sniffles, his voice broken as he just chooses to ignore her question.

"What happened?"

"Logan left..."

"Oh."

"Yeah. Guess I'm that insufferable that he couldn't stand spending another minute with me."

"He spent whole months with you, Wade."

"Sure, but did he even have a choice? I basically kidnapped him and threw him in a fucking new universe. I'm like an old creepy guy in a van. He was just waiting for a chance to run off. And he did."

"Come here, let's get you some tea." Al gestures for Wade to follow her to the kitchen, and he does, taking the shirt in his hands with him.

"Actually, I could use some cocaine right now. And you could use the cure for blindness to see how heartbroken I am for tea." He remarks, following behind her, dogpool following Wade. "Try not to break any cups this time."

Al puts sets a kettle in the stove and turns it on as Wade sits on a chair, all droopy and his eyes red.

"Did he take anything with him? Any money? Clothes? How do you know he won't just come back?"

"No, nothing. He must be wandering the streets like a lost puppy right now. And I just know."

"I think you boys are just too stupid to communicate properly. If you talked about this shit-"

"Oh, he talked plenty, believe me. He ran his mouth about how much of a joke I am."

"Oh, cut the self-loathing crap. That was before then. You two have been acting like an old married gay couple for the last months, don't give me that. You don't see the way he looks at you."

"Oh, and you do?!"

"I don't have to see it to know that guy would throw himself in the fire for you. If he ran off, then it's probably because the idiot read your sad little kitten act like a sign he's not welcomed."

"What-"

"Shut up. Now, if you don't grow a pair of balls for once and try to find him, I sweat to god-"

"I wouldn't even know where to look. And I doubt it he'd even want me to."

"So you better start right away. Go."

"What about my tea-"

"Go."

...

The last few days were rough. And that's saying something, considering all Logan went through in his universe.

He didn't have a place to stay anymore, so he just wandered around and got from bar to bar. He didn't have any cash on him, so he would flash his claws out to the barman as a threat when he was asked about his bill.

He felt like a goddamn monster, so why not act like it. He's not proud of it, but it's been months he didn't have a drink, and all he wanted was to drown the overwhelming feelings eating at him.

He got banned from multiple bars, always hopping to the next one. Getting drunk, getting in some fights, wandering around...

He felt like he was back in his universe. He felt so fucking stupid to think maybe he could change. That maybe here he could turn the page, start a new life with Wade.

Turns out the place it's not the problem, he's the fucking problem. He's a disease that destroys everything he touches, and he should know better than to try and have any connection with anyone.

He failed everyone. He failed the X-men by not being there. He failed Charles by going into a murderous spree. He failed Laura by not being the right guy. He failed Wade by being the complete jerk he is.

He wasn't sure how many days it had been since he left. He's smelling bad, and his hair is mess, but all he cares right now is finishing one more bottle. Then, one more, and one more, and...

He feels something - someone - poking him. Logan thinks it may be the barman or the manager, so he pulls his claws out. "Look, bub, I-"

"Heya, Peanut. Gosh, I'm getting deja-vu. Ain't ya?" Logan's eyes focus to see Wade standing next to him wearing his suit and mask, and his heart races quickly. "You're a hard one to find, honey badger. And I'm a mercenary, so-"

"The fuck are you doing here?"

"You know the answer to that."

"Save it, bub. I gave you an easy way out. You should have taken it."

"Come on, let's just talk-"

"Not in the fucking mood." Logan grumbles, suddenly feeling his chest too tight and like the walls were closing on him. He stumbles while getting off the chair and heading outside with heavy steps, hearing an angry voice behind the counter as he leaves without paying.

He walks out of the bar, rushing somewhere through the empty street, nightly darkness everywhere. Where? Where the fuck was he rushing to?

He hears a bell noise and other footsteps behind him.

"Fine! I get it, alright?! I'm the worst damn piece of crap that you could possibly be stuck with! You were right, ok? I'm everything you said I am. I'd run off, too." Wade shouts, his broken voice making Logan halt in his steps. "But at least let me return the favor of you saving my universe. Let me try and find you somewhere where you don't have to deal with me-"

"It was never about that." Logan grunts, his heart aching like it was about to break.

How could Wade possibly think it was about that?

"What?"

"I'm poison, bub." Logan sighs, finally turning around. "I destroy everything I touch. I hurt everyone around me, I hurt you. I don't deserve you taking me in. I don't deserve your affection or your family. I shouldn't have thought that there was more to my life than being the miserable monster I am and living with the consequences of my own actions. You got the worst you could possibly have, Wade. I'm just doing you the favor of retracting myself before I fuck everything up beyonde repair." Logan could feel his throat tight like a knot as he fought back stubborn tears.

Wade was stunned, silent for a few seconds before he took off his mask and gave Logan the most puppy dog eyes he ever saw, his eyes glossy with tears matching his own.

"You're an fucking idiot." Wade simply stated, a sad smile in his lips. "You're not a monster. And you're far from the worst I could have. I owe my whole world to you. I know you think I'm a joke, but I couldn't ask for a better-"

"I don't think you're a joke." He interrupted.

"But... in the Honda Odyssey, back at the void..." Wade replies, hearing a chuckle that held nothing but sadness.

Fuck. It never came to Logan's mind that what he said that day actually stuck to Wade. He is an idiot. Those words felt so distant, so different from what he felt now for the merc. After all those months they lived together, getting all domestic and shit. Wade crawled into his heart that had felt dead for years and got a space there.

"That was before, bub. I didn't even really know you, of course now I don't think that shit I said."

"But you did... Back then." Wade looks down, his voice low.

"I'm sorry..." Logan says, the words feeling foreign on his tongue. "You didn't deserve that. I was a jerk. I still am, but... You make me want to be better, bub. It's stupid, but... You kidnapping me was probably the best thing that ever happened to me in years, and I was just... so scared I fucked it up too, like everything else."

Wade chuckles, and his eyes brighten as he looks at Logan, his heart feels lighter at hearing those words.

"You didn't." Wade gets closer, his hand resting at Logan's shoulder. "You're wanted. Loved."

The care and gentleness in Wade's touch melts Logan, he leans closer too.

"Come back home."

Those words alone broke him.

For so long, he didn't have a home. How could he have ever taken this one for granted?

"Alright, bub."

It was like clockwork when their lips met in a soft, gentle kiss, them holding each other closely as if they both feared the other would disappear into thin air any second. It felt so natural. Their hearts were calm and frantic at the same time.

Suddenly, there were fireworks sounds and colorful lights surrounding them, and they could hear people chanting happily in the background.

𝘖𝘩.

So it was New Year's already.

They kept their lips together for a few seconds as fireworks popped and formed colorful patterns in the sky. When they pulled away, their eyes were filled with longing and pure affection.

"You're stinky." Wade comments with a smile even though he keeps Logan close. Logan chuckles.

"Yeah, sorry."

"Come on. Let's get you home and make you a nice warm bath, peanut. Blind Al and Mary Puppins are missing you." Wade says while putting his arms around Logan's waist as he guides him their way home.

"Just them?"

"No." Wade replies. "Not just them."

[resident-idiot-simp]

Honda Odyssey rant aftermath

Thinking about the Honda Odyssey rant again as per usual. I have talked before about the consequences of it and I want to talk more about it.

Logan was having a good day all things considered except for the fact Wade had been off all day. Logan had done his best to figure out what was wrong but some days Wade was just...well slightly off.

Althea had told him the first time it happened when he was living there that it happens every once in awhile. Logan could understand he too had those days. It was a toss up what the issue was today however. Sometimes he knew or was told or could possibly even figure it out. Today he wasn't as lucky.

Wade had been distressingly silent today and it was putting Logan on edge. He had done his best to prompt conversation and It had failed. Althea had tried to give him a understanding look and it kinda helped. He had become so accustomed to the incessant background chatter that the silence made him extremely uneasy.

Logan wishes Wade would talk he wanted it so badly and he did eventually get the courage to ask, "Wade you know I like hearing you talk right?" It was damn near the equivalent of opening his rib cage and tearing out his heart and offering it on a silver platter to Wade.

Wade had just tensed at the insinuation. No innuendo, no sarcastic quip, no nothing. Logan had to fight off the urged to make a wounded noise because fuck that hurt more than he thought it was going to.

Wade took a deep breath and Logan felt hope bloom inside him.

"I thought you hated my chatter."

Logan blinked taken aback sure he always jokingly told Wade to shut up but he never meant that Wade knew he never meant that. So what the hell is this about.

"you know I don't." Logan responded measuredly, unsure of what was going on.

"Do I?" Wade shot back and that only pissed Logan off.

Logan knew damn good and well Wade knew he was joking. He growled at the insinuation.

"YES YOU DO BECAUSE WE ALL LAUGH YOU KNOW I DON'T MEAN IT SERIOUSLY BECAUSE IF I DID I COULD MAKE YOU SHUT UP!"

Wade matched his volume as he shot back, "DO I ALWAYS LAUGH OR DO I JUST AVOID EYE CONTACT AND BREATH DEEPLY?!"

Logan could think of a few occasions of that...yes, but it was always a joke...well ok almost always a joke, but he just couldn't handle the chatter sometimes. But that wasn't the point no the point was-

Wade locked eyes with him and Logan felt his heart drop at the cold look that meet him. Wade who he had gotten so accustomed to looking at so warmly. Warmer than anyone else had ever looked at him without a doubt.

"I thought I was a joke? I thought that was why no one wanted me. I remember vividly you telling me I was a ridiculous, immature, half-wit moron. That you had never met a sadder, more attention-starved jabbering little prick in your entire life. That Cassandra was right I could never save the world. That I couldn't even managed to save a relationship with a stripper. That you wished I would die alone, but it was one of god's best jokes that I can't die, except that's on everyone else."

Logan frozen Althea froze even the damn dog froze.

"...Wade you know I didn't mean that." Logan said softly. It was a lie... He had ment it he had meant every word at the time. He had been pissed, sober, and mad at the world. It didn't stand however of course it didn't Wade was one of the best people he had ever met.

"Don't lie to me."

"Wade you know that was directed at myself." Logan tried because it had been. He had been projecting but also he knew full well that it would wiggle into all the cracks he saw in Wade and fester. He had been able to spot the same issues he had and use them because he knew violence best.

"Maybe, but don't act like I'm stupid. I know full well that was directed at me as much as it was directed at you. You meant every word."

Logan didn't know how to fix this God help him he didn't. Althea was dead silent and it just made it worse.

"You know." Wade started conversationally and Logan just knew this was going to hurt.

"The talking is just a part of me It's my personality. I can't turn it off trust me I've tried others have tried too. But no matter who beat me or how much I tried to kill myself it never works."

Logan felt his heart drop once more and he couldn't breathe.

"I however can't. And you know it gets to a point where it starts really hurting I mean you would assume you would get used to it right? That you would get used to the comments and the complaints and the whispers, but it's just not possible."

Wade took a shaky breath eyes tearing up.

"And I've had a lot of time to think about it and I've come to the conclusion on why it hurts so much. It's because it's intrinsically me. The talking it's just what makes me...me. So when people keep telling me to shut up It's not just the talking they hate it's me they hate."

Logan feels as his world tilts slightly left as pieces click into place and past experiences come to the forefront.

"Why is it so bad that I'm being myself? Why do people hate it?" Tears slip from his eyes and Logan hates himself with a sudden fervent passion.

"Wade fuck I could never hate any part of you it's not possible. I'm sorry I said those things I really fucking am I wish I could take them back. I was pissed and detoxing in that damn car and was lashing out." Logan croaked.

Wade just blinked letting more tears fall and Logan wanted to prove himself like a damn dog because he never wanted this. He had never wanted to hurt anyone especially not the man he had come to love.

"...I know what you mean Wade I do. The amount of times people have just labeled me as a weapon like that was my only designation. Like I wasn't human wasn't worth even the dignity of being half referred to as one. At the mansion they would call me that sometimes and fuck it hurt."

Logan took a shaky breath.

"They didn't mean it to demean me but that's what it felt like every time. Even if it was a joke it very rarely hit like it was meant. It just brought back flashes of..... before....of the mindless killing the programming....of everything."

Another breath

"I hadn't even considered it and that's on me. Out of everyone I should have realized."

Logan met Wade's eyes once more and saw understanding.

~

Anytime after this when anyone would ever make a pass in comment about Wade's inability to shut up. Logan was there calling them out telling them to mind their business that they had no right to say that.

And every time Wade looked just that little bit happier.

I have realized this qualifies as a drabble and will be posting this tomorrow on ao3

[twilightkitkat]

Ok two things

1) I genuinely can't remember if I've asked this before but I would LOVE your take of the lingering after effects of the rant in the Honda Odyssey. Mainly because I'm going to talk about it again because it means a lot to me (Hugh Jackman my beloved you beautiful beautiful actor)

2) If you can make a tag specifically for the asks It would make navigation 10 times easier because I don't have an easy way of checking what I have and haven't asked (also sometimes I just want to read through everything you've said in response to stuff)

I've said a few things about the Odyssey before but I don't think I've ever answered an ask specifically about it. I have a short fanfic about this topic, actually. (Also good idea, I hadn't thought of adding a tag. I decided to tag my posts with #asks if you want to filter through them.)

The thing about Wade is that he tries to sweep his feelings under the rug. All the time. No matter how hurt he is. He tries to bottle up his feelings because he thinks they're stupid and that they make him vulnerable but they get to be too much and eventually, he bursts. So he holds all of his resentment and pain and fear inside of him, acting composed and unaffected, until he finally reaches a breaking point. And when he breaks, he breaks hard.

The issue with this is that because he's so good at acting fine, other people think he's fine. Or, well, as "fine" as Wade normally was. Everyone knew Wade had a few screws loose and that he was prone to impulsive behavior, but that was just common knowledge by now. He's insane but that's just how he is. But Wade is exceptionally good at masking genuine hurt as insanity and recklessness, so when his true emotions spill over it shocks those around him. He doesn't give any visible indication he feels upset until he suddenly snaps.

The Honda Odyssey is the same. Things are going shockingly smooth between Logan and Wade at first. They focus on doing missions for the TVA and through mercenary organizations together and manage to scrap together something resembling a routine. Wade distracts himself with the thrill of his new life so he doesn't have enough time to ponder or dissect his own emotions. Nothing good ever comes of that, anyway.

But Logan's words stick with Wade. Of course they do, how could they not? He took apart everything he shared with him and used it against him. He dug into every fucking pressure point, rubbing all his insecurities raw. And so naturally, they boil over.

It doesn't have to be a big event. They can just be washing the dishes and Logan makes a joke, or watching a show together. But suddenly it's all rushing back to Wade and the emotions are overwhelming in their intensity and he's breaking down and snapping at Logan, who's confused about what's wrong.

And Wade... doesn't know what to say. Because how can he explain that he's still hung up on a stupid speech Logan gave ages ago? It's embarrassing and childish, especially when he knows it's all true.

And he knows it is. Wade's turned it over in his head when he couldn't sleep, rolled the syllables over his own tongue, and replayed Logan's expressions as he spat the words out. Logan meant it. And he was right, Wade is pathetic. He's fucked up and isn't cut out to be anyone's hero and he's so unlovable that he couldn't keep the only girl who loved him despite his disfigured avocado face.

He knows and yet it still hurt for Logan to say it. For his hero, someone he looked up to and admired, to look and see him in all his glory only to spit in his face. To hear it confirmed by someone whose opinion mattered to him.

It sticks with him. It festers and grows and gnaws at him. He watches Logan for any signs of disappointment or contempt, is especially careful to bring up his past relationships, and remains on edge. He doesn't let himself fully relax or get comfortable. He keeps an eye on the door, waiting for Logan to walk out.

But he's fine. He's managing. Until suddenly it boils over and he isn't and he has to look Logan in the face and explain why he flinched when Logan yelled at him over something stupid.

[striveattemptfail]

Feel your way | Logan Howlett/Wade Wilson, 2.7k, NC-17

@poolvertober: Day 8 – Bloodbath

Summary: Yet another Honda Odyssey fic lol. TW: Canon-typical violence and body horror, plus smut. Read on Ao3

A/N: Title from You're the One That I Want from Grease because it's right there. Horrifically un-beta'd and I'd apologize but my eyeballs will fall out their sockets if I have to proofread this one more time /o\

❤️💛❤️💛❤️💛❤️💛❤️💛

“I take it all back—the Honda Odyssey fucks hard,” Wade breathes out, head lolling with perverse satisfaction. He lifts the hand holding baby knife to beckon Logan back to him, two fingers curled and teasing. “Too bad you don’t, needle dick.”

Logan rises to the bait. “Oh, we’re just getting started, bub.”

And Logan leaps towards him again with a roar, claws sinking into Wade’s chest cavity. When he pulls his claws out for another attack, Wade manages to grab one of Logan’s arms to stab him clean through the tricep, but Logan uses the connection to pull Wade into leaning sideways. With Wade’s right side more exposed, Logan’s free hand begins to jab him repeatedly in the temple before moving down to do more of the same to Wade’s shoulder. Wade presses his thigh against Logan’s torso, trying to use his leg to swinging himself upright. He brings up a forearm to block Logan’s wrist, pushing away the claws now slashing at him anywhere they can reach.

The symphony of metal against metal, metal penetrating flesh, and the Honda groaning from the violence accompany his and Logan’s grunts and growls, the occasional curse and insult dotting their fucked up little melody. Body ephemera spews everywhere, flesh and guts continuing to paint the car’s interior like a bloody Jackson Pollock, with glass and ripped up seat fabric also scattered around.

It’s been a long while since Wade fought someone that just won’t fucking quit, most people being lame losers and doing stupid things like dying before he can really get into it. At some point between choking Logan with a seatbelt and Logan’s claws stabbing right through his brain, Wade stopped fighting Logan over his painfully accurate monologue about Wade’s shitty life to fighting Logan because it feels fucking glorious to spar with someone who tosses back just as much as Wade throws at them.

Logan now practically straddles Wade’s leg, his knees bracketing Wade’s right thigh in the backseat of this godforsaken vehicle. He sheathes his claws on one hand, opting to simply smash his knuckles into Wade’s face. The arm not dealing blows (haha, blows) shoves his claws into Wade’s shoulder and onto the seat. Wade is effectively pinned down, but by now he’s only halfheartedly stabbing Logan’s side with baby knife until Logan finally realizes why.

“You’ve gotta be fuckin’ kidding me.”

Logan pauses his fist’s tirade against Wade’s face.

“Whaaat?” he asks innocently, drawling out the syllable. Even though he knows Logan can’t see it right now, a shit-eating grin grows beneath his mask.

Logan scoffs in disgust. “Seriously, bub?” He presses one of his thighs to onto Wade’s very obvious erection.

“Hey, at least this time I’m awake for it!” Wade reasons. “And the only thing keeping me all nice and close is you, old man.” He squirms a little to prove his point, several areas of his body rubbing on Logan.

Logan grunts another noise of disgust. “I don’t understand why you don’t wear a cup, you goddamn lunatic.”

“I’m glad that’s the only issue you have about this, honey badger!” Wade happily quips back. He shifts his hips up, dick deliberately rutting into Logan’s thigh, not even bothering to stifle the pleased moan stuttering out of him. “Can’t say I miss having one on right now.”

With a growl, Logan grabs Wade by the mask and smacks the back of his head hard into the backseat. Wade thinks if he didn’t have whiplash or a concussion before, he definitely has both now.

Pain echoes in his skull as he yells out, “Fuck!”

Logan repeats the action, knocking Wade’s head onto the seat several times in quick succession, his grip on Wade’s mask pulling it halfway off and exposing his mouth. Wade can feel all kinds of bodily fluids—blood, drool, sweat, maybe some snot—dripping down his chin and onto his neck now that his mask isn’t catching the filth.

His body is then slightly jostled from Logan’s manhandling, which allows him to also feel (oh, fuck yes, that’s it) something else.

Logan lets go of his mask, bringing his arm back to unleash his claws with a snikt! He points them right in front of Wade, close enough Wade can basically breathe and close the distance.

“You,” Logan pants hard, nostrils flaring, “are a repulsive piece of shit.”

With his mouth exposed, Wade beams another nasty grin at Logan. It’s the only response he gives before licking one of the claws not even half an inch away from his lips. He cuts his mouth on it, of course, blood flooding everywhere and onto Logan’s claw. But he pays no mind, tilting his head slightly and immediately gliding his tongue down the smooth side of the blade while he meets Logan’s appalled glare.

“You’re a fuckin’ freak.”

Wade’s grin only widens. “And yet.”

He bucks up his hips to meet the growing tent in Logan’s pants. Logan hisses at the contact, looking down at his crotch in what Wade assumes is betrayal before meeting Wade’s gaze again with a sneer.

Because for all the beating he’s being served, there’s no way Wade would let Wolverine’s boner escape his notice since the fucking hypocrite doesn’t wear a cup either. Not that Logan’s dick is possible to ignore in the first place, considering how his clearly generous size is doing its damndest to break free from the jock he’s got on.

Fuck, Wade hopes that claws aren’t the only thing inside him today.

He mouths his way back to the end of the claw, staring Logan in the eyes as he begins to suck the tip into his mouth. He’s slow, actually trying to be careful for once because he doesn’t want to accidentally slice his tongue clean off. He’ll need it when he gets Logan’s cock into his mouth.

He pulls away with a muted pop!, a thin string of blood-tinted spit still connecting his lips to the claw.

“Seems like we match, kitty cat,” Wade croons, lifting his hips up to grind on Logan again. “Maybe my freak just matches yours.”

Logan growls, teeth bared as he digs the claws still in Wade’s shoulder even deeper. Wade unashamedly lets out another moan, and at this point he honestly can’t tell if it’s from pain or pleasure. Probably-most-definitely both.

“Shut the fuck up,” Logan snarls, his other hand still threatening Wade with a lobotomy and then some.

Wade licks the tip of another claw.

“Then fucking make me.”

Logan hisses, pulling his claws out of Wade's shoulder. Wade gasps at the new pain now blooming in his shoulder wounds when Logan cups his hands on Wade’s cheeks and kisses him.

Though, it’s less of a kiss and more like Logan using his mouth to punch Wade’s.

Wade yelps at their teeth clacking together, the sound turning into a long moan when Logan shoves his tongue into his mouth. The kiss immediately turns dirty once Wade’s brain catches up to what’s happening, and Logan shifts to straddle his lap properly. The low groan that escapes Logan’s throat when he sinks into his lap and rubs their clothed boners will make an appearance in Wade’s spank bank for years to come, he’s sure of it.

His hands move to Logan’s waist, halfway to groping Logan’s ass, but he gets distracted by what Logan’s doing with his tongue. Apparently, Wade’s aborted attempt to grope his butt seems like hesitation, because Logan pulls away from Wade’s mouth long enough to growl, dropping a hand to push one of Wade’s onto a pert cheek.

“Either grab it or don’t,” Logan snarls. “None of that half-ass shit.”

“Sir, yes, sir.” Wade smirks up at him, both hands sliding to Logan’s ass and gripping.

Logan gasps softly, arching his back to push into Wade’s palms. “Fuck, yes.”

Wade dives in for another kiss, their noses just barely avoiding an accidental, very un-sexy headbutt. Logan tugs at Wade’s mask and pulls it all the way off. Wade would protest because he already knows what Logan thinks of his appearance, but his entire brain is kind of focused on the taut muscles of Logan’s ass beneath his fingers and the taste of Logan’s mouth when he sighs.

“Off, off,” Logan pants, pawing at Wade’s pants after using his teeth to bite his gloves off.

He nods helplessly, removing his own gloves and unbuckling his utility belt, immediately going for his fly right after. His cock springs free from where it was trapped, aching and flushed red, and Wade can’t help but smile at the heated look he catches on Logan’s face.

“Looks like not wearing a cup was a good thing after all, huh, Wolvie,” he says smugly.

Logan rolls his eyes, working on his own suit and shoving the jock down to free his own dick. Wade’s mouth literally starts salivating at the sight of Logan’s fully hard cock, long and thicker than he expected. At the base is a jungle of wiry hair that Wade can’t wait to bury his nose into once he gets Logan into his throat.

Logan frowns at him. “Quit starin’, bub.”

“Can’t help it when you’ve got a baby arm down there,” he replies easily. “How the fuck did you even fit that in your pants? The poor thing must’ve been suffocating!”

Logan unsheathes his claws on one hand, grazing the tips on Wade’s cheek. He’s pretty sure Logan breaks the skin there if the warmth dripping down his face is anything to go by.

“Shut the fuck up before I chop your dick off, Mouth,” Logan warns. Wade only laughs.

At Logan’s confused expression, Wade leans in to kiss him again, short and quick, before bucking his hips up. They both hiss when their cocks brush together, and Wade bites down on Logan’s bottom lip. With one hand he grabs Logan’s shoulder, the other slipping down to take both their cocks into a loose fist. He begins stroking slowly, heat pooling in his stomach when he feels Logan’s hips twitching into his grip. Wade moans again, mouth pulling away to kiss his way down Logan’s jaw and onto his neck.

“Fucking hell,” he gasps, “can barely get my hand around you, you’re fucking huge.” Logan groans into his ear, biting at Wade’s lobe.

At this point, Logan’s hands have snuck underneath Wade’s top, palming at whatever he can reach. Wade’s breath stutters when Logan rubs his nipples, which he clearly notices because the motherfucker starts to pinch both of them at the same time, rolling them in his fingers.

“Fuck!” Wade shouts at a particularly hard pinch, hand abruptly pausing mid-stroke.

“Yeah?” Logan pants, doing magical things to Wade’s nipples, and Wade can hear the smirk in his voice.

“Keep that up and this is going to end a lot sooner than we both want, honey badger,” he warns, nipping at the corner of Logan’s jaw.

“S’not my fault ya got sensitive nips,” Logan grumps but he releases Wade’s nipples anyway. His hands continue their earlier exploration of Wade’s skin, his breath catching in his throat whenever Logan’s nails scratch him.

He catches Logan in another bruising kiss, tongue licking the palate of Logan’s mouth. Wade begins stroking again, using his thumb to gather the precum leaking from both their cocks. It’s not enough, the friction still on the side of too dry, but Wade does not give a fuck and it seems that Logan doesn’t either. When he begins to rock his hips, Logan does the same, their rhythm already frantic and frenzied, and Wade closes his fist into a tighter circle.

Logan bucks his hips with a little too much gusto on an upstroke, nearly knocking them both off balance until he catches himself by stabbing the headrest next to Wade with his claws.

“Getting too excited there, big boy?” Wade’s lips brush Logan’s when he speaks. “Feel that good?”

“Fuck no.”

There’s a tiny part of Wade that hurts at the words but he ignores it in favour of catching Logan’s lips in another dirty kiss. He bullies Logan into lying down, and Wade slides down to finally face Logan’s cock, kissing the tip and licking at the precum that dribbles out. He grasps the base of Logan’s cock with one hand, taking Logan deep enough for his lips to meet his fist. He plants his other hand firmly on Logan’s hip.

Logan makes an unhappy sound. “What? I can’t fuck your mouth?”

Wade shrugs one shoulder, humming on the downstroke, and smiling (as much as he can with Logan’s dick in his mouth, at least) when Logan drops his head back with a drawn out groan, hands coming to rest on Wade’s shoulders. He doesn’t really pay attention to his technique, too excited to have The Wolverine’s dick in his mouth to think about pace and finesse, but Logan doesn’t seem to mind at all with the way his hips keep twitching up. There’s a reason why Wade has a hand pushing on the flat of Logan’s pelvis.

He gradually manages to open his throat, pushing himself further and further down Logan’s cock, satisfied once his nose begins brushing wiry curls. He may or may not start humming the closer he gets to the base just to hear the noises escaping Logan every time he does.

Pulling off with a filthy slurping sound, a thick line of spit and precum connecting his lips to the tip of Logan’s cock. Wade licks his lips hungrily, keeping one hand pumping Logan while the other moves down to grip his own aching dick. He sighs in relief once he starts stroking himself.

“Fuck my face now,” is all he says before swallowing Logan back down to the root.

“Shit.”

For as violent as he was not five minutes ago during their fight, Logan is surprisingly gentle thrusting into Wade’s mouth now that he has permission. It’d be sweet if Wade isn’t in the middle of chasing his own pleasure right this moment, and he needs to feel Logan hitting the back of his throat for tonsil target practice before he loses his mind.

He pulls off with a whine, frowning up Logan.

“What happened to ‘none of that half-ass shit’?”

Logan glares down at him, a low rumble coming from his chest.

“You fuckin’ asked for it, asshole,” he sneers, and before Wade can complain again, Logan grips the back of his head and shoves him back down to the base of his cock.

He begins to fuck Wade’s face in earnest, delicious noises spilling from his lips that Wade can’t help but return with his own whimpers. He moves the hand that was stroking Logan’s dick to fondle the man’s balls instead, his other hand still furiously jacking his own cock. His jaw aches in the best way as Logan relentlessly guns for his orgasm.

“M’close, bub,” Logan pants heavily. “Pull off, wanna come on your face.”

Wade whines in the negative—he wants everything pouring down his throat.

“I said fuckin’ pull off!”

He stubbornly refuses, too fucking close to coming to care about what Logan wants at the moment.

Several things happen in slow motion from there.

(Take a moment to imagine a record scratch followed by the opening plucks of the violin from Enya’s Only Time à la the second movie, dear reader.)

Wade comes while his mouth is still on Logan, his eyes clamping shut from how hard it hits him. He might also accidentally bite down a little, tiny bit because of his orgasm. (Don’t blame him for getting bitey when he comes—it’s not like he can help it!)

At the same time, Logan grabs the back collar of Wade’s suit while his other hand pushes Wade’s forehead, forcefully pulling Wade off his dick. Wade vaguely registers Logan yelping in pain, likely because he is in pain now that Wade is maybe, slightly using his teeth. Wade—rightfully upset, in his opinion—makes a pathetic, displeased noise when Logan’s cock slips out of his mouth.

For some fucked up reason that Wade would love to investigate one day, this is when Logan orgasms.

Fun fact: when Wolverine blows his load, his claws come out. Another fun fact: he can shoot far enough to reach his chin, and maybe even a little further than that.

Things rev up to regular speed from there, chaos dialling right back up to 11.

“Ow! Not the fucking eyes, shit breath!”

[moonshynecybin]

i probably learnt this from you tbf but i remember the telemetry being bullshit as well… but i also remember honda being very unwilling to give it out ? tho that could simply be for privacy rather than for the purpose of concealing some grand conspiracy.

also agree that vale belives it now but tbh at the time he probably wanted to intimidate marc which. well. why would you do that are you stupid. and that’s the part that bothers me the most about sepang like okay he WOULD break someone’s heart np question but the vale i know wouldn’t do it in such a stupid manner… truly disappointing characterisation from the motogp scriptwriters

youre RIGHT and i did make a post about it here wrt to the sports court arbitration and the telemetry theory of it all back in like april. good memory!!! and yeah, i think it was this gut sort of instinct reaction that was completely blind to the reality of his situation or marc's insane-in-the-pussy pre-media storm character, BUT i think in no part of his brain did he think marc would respond like that. it was not even a thought. which to be fair marc hasnt responded like that to anything before or since so. special cases lol. didnt realize he got into an arm wrestling match with an alligator. i love the way they love <3

what i am alsoooooo kinda interested in while staring down the long barrel of this offseason is how he hasnt really learned his lesson about it even now like whatsoever. like the intended mechanism of the sepang presscon and his career-long habit of mindgames havent gone away— hes still trying to throw a psychological curveball at marc by engaging in theatrical, insane rivalry peacocking and bogging down marc in the press, which ofc REALLY backfired in 2015 (four more titles immediately for marc like it is not an effective strategy dude. like my man.) and now hes whipping out those same tactics in twenty twenty fourrrrr like a guy who keeps walking into the same wall over and over again. why is he doing this well i think its maybe just the only technique he has available to him to get one over on marc, as keeping marc from nine is currently all in pecco's sportsmanlike little hand, a situation which i have to imagine involves a stressful lack of agency for a man with that many ego and power issues, to put it mildly. so hes prepping for this by trying to exert literally ANY control he has over the situation (remember that pod dropped right around misano and aragon lol) and uh. well one thing he KNOWS that he can control is the articles that get written about marc marquez on the internet. teflon proof of concept on that one. BUT even THEN, hes STILL making pecco's life harder using a technique that is demonstrably and historically pretty ineffective against marc so. idk i think mostly he wishes he were 30 and fast and back on that track fighting his own battles so fucking bad that hes going a bit insane with it. is what im saying here. which is also probably why hes vowed to haunt the paddock next season like a toxic skinny little specter

[strang3lov3]

Questions tag game!! Ty for the tag @covetyou !! ♡

Do you make your bed? Not very well. I straighten everything out but my barbarian of a fiance sleeps like a tornado so there's really no use in making it actually nice. I also leave most blankets untucked because my cat Jojo loves to sleep under the covers all day so I like to make sure he won't get stuck anywhere, has an easy way in and out. You get it.

Favorite number? 69 obviously. The best number.

What's your job? Full-time student, and later I'll be a teacher!

If you could go back to school, would you? I'm in school, so...I guess I'll just say I don't plan on doing more than getting my bachelor's. And I wouldn't go back to high school ever.

Can you parallel park? Fffffffuck no. Nope. I managed to do it for my driver's test when I was 16, and I haven't done it since. I also can't back into a parking spot.

Do you think aliens are real? Of course. My father in law once said something to me about how he really had a lot of respect for Dave Grohl until he learned he believes in UFOs and I think that's so funny. Also, he's a self-proclaimed music nerd but claims that punk has never been political. He said he misses when Green Day only wrote songs about jerking off instead of politics....Idk. I think he might be the one on another fucking planet LMAO

Can you drive a manual car? I can, actually!! I drove a stick-shift 2008 Honda Civic for two years! The clutch had to be replaced within five months of me driving that car 😬 My fiance says he shudders to think of what I did to that car lol.

What's your guilty pleasure? None!! I'm pretty shameless about everything I find enjoyable and I just don't feel guilt for liking what I like.

Tattoos? 14 now. I'm trying to prioritize getting filler on my arms so my tattoos look nice and connected on my wedding day. I also plan to get a crawling panther and cheetah on my back soon, and cover up my linework tats I got when I was 18.

Favorite color? Light blue.

Do you like puzzles? Depends on the puzzle. I fuck with a jigsaw puzzle but most other puzzles I really fucking hate. Like a Rubik's Cube and those weird metal puzzles make me feel stupid lol.

Any phobias? Mhmmmmm. Three. They're all pretty debilitating because they're all so unavoidable. And also, people can be pretty like, not understanding about these things and they make me feel silly and dramatic. But the nature of phobias is that they're irrational and can't always be helped. I wouldn't choose to be this afraid of things if I had any say in the matter, but I don't so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Emetephobia (fear of vomiting) - Last year, every time I went out to eat for about nine months, I'd wake up in the middle of the night and vomit. These experiences have traumatized me on some level so anytime my stomach feels weird - be it hunger, anxiety, pain, etc. I freak out and panic and cry for hours. Like this kinda happens 1-2 times every week.

Blood Injury Injection (BII) phobia - Pretty much what it sounds like. I do not like to see blood, my own or anyone else's (though period blood is different to me and doesn't make me squeamish). I can't look at injuries no matter how small - like that paper cut scene in Everything Everywhere really bothered me and I had to shut off the movie. Injections really freak me out too and I will avoid having my blood drawn at all costs. I know I have a lot of tattoos but I also have them separated in my mind. It's just a different animal to me.

Entomophobia (fear of bugs) - I can't do it. All bugs, big or small, scare the bejesus out of me. I won't sleep in my bedroom if I find a bug in there. Once, I opened up my jar of peanut butter and found it full of ants which was one of the most disturbing things I've ever experienced in real life. Most of my nightmares are all bug related too. Like centipedes in my hair is a common one

Favorite childhood sport? I was a gymnast and a diver. I didn't like team sports so gymnastics was great for me! At 11 I developed Osgood-Schlatter disease which causes severe pain in the knees which kinda sucks when you're a gymnast and you rely on your knees for a lot. So I quit gymnastics to dive instead, which was great because I could flip and still have fun. But after fucking up a dive, I became really scared of the sport and that was it for me. From then on, I focused on art instead of sports.

Do you talk to yourself? Nope. I talk endlessly to others though.

Full pressure tags - @cum-a-calla @mssalo-main @fungal-rot @ghostlovesbaguettes @ovaryacted

@guiltyasdave @kappasbbgirl @senselessviolets @baronessvonglitter @mountainsandmayhem

[aachria]

I have MANY things to say about chapter 96 so this is gonna be long-ish but you deserve every word of praise I'm about to type so buckle the fuckle up.

First of all, the dance scene with Usopp and then Luffy? Great, spectacular, outstanding, the way Ed understands Luffy so well like THAT is my otp and I am so fucking proud of them.

SECOND OF ALL. SANJI. Not only do you give that boy a scene tackling his bisexual (gay?) awakening but also a little platonic smooch that he so desperately needed? And then you give us ART of that scene? It feels so good but also I'm crying. Side note, Sanji definitely smokes Pall Malls, I can smell them from here.

Third of all, you write Brook so, so well. All I could get from him talking about Yorkie was that those two were SO attached to each other and Brook sees so much of himself AND Yorkie in Ed and wants to make sure they're happy so so bad. I want to be him when I grow up.

And that Nami scene. *chef's kiss* magnificent. Ed may have left a sister behind when that Honda Civic hip checked them into a different reality but they definitely got a new one in Nami.

Anyway that's all I had to say, congrats on Ed being compared to the legend himself Jeremiah Cross, toodles

Buckle the fuckle up is, respectfully, fucking hilarious.

I LOVE ED AND LUFFY. They are two halves of the same idiot with complete opposite types of smart. They round each other off but also make each other stupider, 10/10 dynamic.

I struggled immense with drawing that kiss let me tell you. But like goddamnit I wanted art of it so I was damn well gonna fight through making it. Sidenote I’m a full supporter of the bi Sanji agenda. Just fyi.

I honestly didn’t think I’d have near as much fun writing Brook as I do. He is the silly old grandpa who is also your bestie you visit in the nursing home. I try to balance that with the off putting shit every so often because yes you SHOULD remember that’s a cryptid. I don’t think Yorkie gets the hype he deserves in canon, that mf was ride or (literally) die ok put some respect on his name. Just a music lovin guy livin his life.

As always absolutely adore Nami and her and Ed are such a special duo.

Thank you bestie xoxo

[moonogre]

WIP game of birds!

🐦‍⬛ 🦚

@alectoperdita remember when this story was a short PWP and they were banging in the earlies? Yeah me neither lmao pulling from the cutting room floor for this 😂

(It was so good in my head Mr. Frodo 😭)

🦚

Kaiba’s face was red, backed up to the dashboard console of one of the servers. Jou leered at him, pushing closer, stepping between Kaiba’s long legs and pushing him back so that he had no choice but to hop up on the command centre. He had the presence of mind to lock controls of the station, effectively shutting off the computer. The screen faded off, plunging the lab into darkness. Still, in the low light, he could make out Jou’s face, and his wolfish smile that made his heart lurch into his throat.

Kaiba wondered if he had some kind of tell: Jou leaned in close and pressed his lips to his throat; Kaiba swore that the other boy could feel his heartbeat pounding even his neck. Jou inhaled deeply and then laughed into Seto’s neck, placing a palm on his upper tigh and pushing slightly so Kaiba’s legs opened wider. Kaiba moaned, feeling knobs and dials from the computer dig into his backside. Jou pressed closer in and Kaiba smelt the sugary smell waft off Jou’s skin, his hair— was it vanilla?— and before he could help himself, put his hands under Jou’s shirt to grip at his waist, registering how warm Jou’s bare skin was above the waistband of his jeans. Jou’s kisses went up from his neck to his ear, and Kaiba panted, drawing shallow breaths through his open mouth. His head fell back, all sensation rushing towards his hardening cock.

Just in time, Jou palmed the crotch of Kaiba’s pants, and he squirmed, hips already rolling into the pressure from Jou groping his dick.

“Not gonna moan for it like you did yesterday?” Jou teased. Kaiba grit his teeth and buried his face in Jou’s neck, hiding while he humped, more and more needy, against Jou’s hands. Jou gripped his hip hard with one hand, staying him from pushing against the friction for his release.

“Did you think about it again today?” Jou whispered, and Kaiba’s hands roamed up Jou’s back, trying to pull him in closer, but Jou didn’t budge. “Is that why you made me come back here?”

Jou drew back, fixing Kaiba with his intense, dark, stare, and Kaiba looked back defiantly.

🐦‍⬛

“Wake up. I gotta talk to you.”

Kaiba’s body responded before he could even come to, arousal stirring as he cracked an eye open to see Jonouchi staring at him strangely.

“Is this not something that can wait until morning?”

Jonouchi smiled sadly. “I probably won’t have the balls to say this then.”

“Oh good, late-night half-baked revelations. I’m convinced this is urgent.”

“Do you… feel weird around me?”

“Yes,” Kaiba answered. “Sometimes, I feel myself getting stupider by the second. Like now, for instance.”

Jonouchi sighed and glared at Kaiba.

“Stop being an asshole for once in your life and just… answer the question,” Jou said.

“No, I don’t feel particularly ‘weird’ around you, Jonouchi,” Kaiba responded, irritated. “I’m prone to bouts of annoyance in your presence, but who isn’t. Apparently I’ve decided your company is worth the near constant irritation.”

“That’s exactly what I mean,” Jonouchi said. “I— This is weird.”

“I thought you wanted to be friends?” Kaiba asked testily, arching an eyebrow. “If there’s something more I’m meant to do to abide your insufferability, it can surely wait until after we’ve slept—“

“Kaiba, I hate to break it to you, but this—“ Jou gestured to them, their state of undress, the tousled sheets from their afternoon of marathon sex, “isn’t how friendships normally go. I’m not out here blowing Yugi and Honda and Bakura within an inch of my fucking life every night.”

Kaiba ran a hand through his hair.

“What are you getting at, Jonouchi? What do you want from me?”

“Everything!” Jou burst out. He deflated but a moment after, his head hung low. “That’s… that’s what’s weird. Don’t you feel it? I— Dude, I feel fucking insane around you. Like, absolutely batshit. I cannot stop thinking about you. I can’t stop touching you!” Jou was grinding the heels of his palm into his temples as though he meant to crush his own head. “I think about fucking you all day, or what you sound like when you laugh or just… dumb shit! Shit I’m not trying to think about!”

Eventually, silence descended upon the room. Kaiba was gazing at Jonouchi thoughtfully.

Jonouchi felt like every nerve ending in his body was thrumming. “Okay so are you… going to say something?”

Kaiba gave him a look of incredulity. “What on earth do I sound like when I laugh that you’ve been compelled to think about it?”

Jou looked at Kaiba blankly for a few moments.

“How is that the only thing you managed to take away form that?”