#FUCK MY BRAIN RN
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#i cannot fucking sleep bcs then itll be tomorrow and tomorrow is a social thing out in public and aaaaaaaa#(i started overthinking the ren fair thing and noe im regretting wanting to go#every single time ive tried to go somewhere with ppl my own age for thebpast like 6 years its been fucked in some way#tbf i dont do it much anyways but stil!!!!!!#i got pickpocketed exluded nd had a panic attak#i got pressured nd judged by like the only pers9j at that school who willingly talked to me#im fairly sure there r other things but also i do not go out v much period so fuck if i knew#what i do knowbtho is that neither of those ended with me happy.#nd i rlly rlly elly dont want to fuck up renfairs for myself#what if im wearing the wronf shit actually i think i would actually throw up or smth aaaaaaaaaa#ANXIETIES FUCK U BE GONE#(they will mever be gone fml)#aaaaaaaaaaa#also theres ginna be a person tehrre who ive never talked to befire and my default for that is ending up silently third wheeling nd#that alwayd ends up with ppl exculding me so if that happends i might just split off from the group.#oh goddddsddd also whop whop general figure insecurities keep popping up. FUCK OFF.#enea rambles <3#eneas poor mental health jumpscare :]#its midnight and i. feel like Panic#hbhhhhhhhhhhh hate this. why cant i kust fucking DO SHIT like a normal goddamned person#i am. so fucking scarel#plus its in quebec and across a ferry#istfg if the ferry triggers a panic attack im gonna be so fucking upset#BACK MEMORIES#FUCK MY BRAIN RN#SHUT.#anywayssssssss ye so panickijy just a litttttleeee
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Losing my MIND on twitter this morning seeing a thread on what appears to be the worlds unluckiest child
i’m so sorry to this poor kid but i’m crying laughing are they being HAUNTED???
#i’m so hungover rn i can’t tell if my brain is pudding and that’s why this is so funny#but that fucking blanket#dis.txt
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one of the worst things in the world is that feeling unloveable can (and will) make you act in ways that reinforces itself. I feel unloveable so I don’t respond to messages so people reach out less so I feel unloveable. one of the hardest things in the world is fighting back the brain demons long enough to break the cycle
#my best friend doesn’t have tumblr but I am mentally sending him so many apologies right now jesus fuckkkkkkk#I feel so fucking awful rn#I went and watched taskmaster and that distracted me a bir#but literally. suicidal thoughts out of nowhere. urge to drink out of nowhere#it’s like. 8:15pm and I’m thinking of just going to bed now#only way to get my brain to shut up#I have such a busy weekend ahead as well#godddddd I want to enter hermit mode so bas#I’m not gonna do anything stupid don’t worry#but I sure Feel Like Doing It
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living thru the 90's and 00's ive seen this change happen thats pretty much taken us from,
then: a man/boy does [xyz], u must be gay!! 🤨😡🤢🤡🤬🤮
to
now: a man/boy does [xyz], u must be gay!! 😌🤩💅🏽🤪🤭🫦
and its not really the improvment some ppl think it is!!
#i cant be the only one who sees right??#i would articulate more but my brain is actually fucked rn#this is mostly referring to celebs but also relevant to everybody#yes this is relevant to certain disk horse yes im probs gonna regret posting this lmao#hel yaps#homophobia#bcos thats what it is
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Not even funny how MASM has been taking ahold of my mind. AND TO SEE ONLY A HANDFUL OF SHIT ONLINE ABOUT IT IS A CRIME I WANT TO FIX. Hopefully this food is enough for today. I go back to lurking🙏
#masm#moondrop#sundrop#art#masm sun#masm moon#LOOK I NEVER USE TUMBLR BUT FUCK IT WE BALL#I WANT TO HELP THIS SMALL FANDOM#BECAUSE THESE SILLIES ARE INFESTING MY BRAIN RN#Whether I'll post my fanfics we will see#chibi#MASM is probably gonna be the reason I start posting tbh#rahh I go back to my cave now#also yes they are holding hands#they are gay lovers your honor#moon x sun#sun x moon#sundrop x moondrop#moon and sun minecraft
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I find myself agreeing with this woman’s thoughts on Alicent’s character this season. Which is a shame in many ways…
(Tagging those who might be interested in what this video has to say, I apologize if any of y’all have been trying to get this off your mind only for me to tag you here lol)
@alicentsgf , @lemonhemlock , @thewitchqueenofharrenhal , @spacerockfloater , @gwenllian-in-the-abbey , @forgotten-fossilised , @florisbaratheons , @applepie2523 , @tessarionbestgirl , @queenvhagar , @the-daily-dreamer , @chocobroing , @lunamond , @gojuo, @fearthhereaper , @abla-soso
#the way I can’t even elaborate on my full thoughts yet#that’s how jumbled my brain is rn#Alicent what have these terrible ass writers done to you#Jesus they fucked up badly#I’m gon take a nap after this#alicent hightower#pro alicent hightower#aegon ii targaryen#helaena targaryen#aemond targaryen#criston cole#alicole#alicent x criston#gwayne hightower#daeron targaryen#otto hightower#is that all the character names mentioned in the vid to be tagged? idk#hotd critical#hotd#house of the dragon
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#help i drank c4 and this legit feels like im on crack rn#my adhd brain can’t take it omfg#also hiiiiiiiii#basil omori#omori art#omori something#omori fanart#fan art#artists on tumblr#digital fanart#omori#omori fandom#digital art#hunii art#omori sunny#omg the lady at the store was right c4 energy is crack#don’t drink it this shit is like 200 fucking mg#poor basil#what did basil ever do to you omori??#goodnight#memes#funny memes#art memes#omori fixation is hitting too hard
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Okay. Genuinely seriously here is your reminder that there are people in the south. There are a lot of queer people down here, there is a very large POC population down here, there are disabled people, and poor people, and people who's rights are getting stolen during this election just as much as yours are. We're fucking devastated. We're terrified. Possibly even more than the "good pure blue states" because our governments already hate us too. We didn't vote for Trump, we do not control every other person in our states, and honest to FUCK if I see people posting things like "let's just leave the southern states and save the blue states" or whatever just because of this, I will block you on sight. My sister was so upset she was scared to drive to get me from the airport. My DAD is so upset that he texted me to let me know that he and my mom were still there for me. I'm so upset I haven't even fully processed anything at all. It feels like a fucking fever dream.
We're going to be so much more vulnerable than you, with our governments, the number of people in our communities who would choose to do this to us, the people we all know irl who would see us dead.
#okay sorry im just pissed off. i will probably delete this in a minute.#but genuinely the south isn't your enemy and you are fucking abandoning us.#there is literally only a 2.2% difference between trump and harris in georgia and atlanta hasnt finished coutning yet.#leave us ALONE.#im trying to not doomscroll rn cus im still foggy brained from my trip but just. ugh.#shh ac#election#us politics
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Sol
#I’m just gonna put these here so I can rant about all the issues I see in the#so like I as an idiot was like let’s see if I can do a style study on qwille using my favorite boy right#but qwille a brain works in mysterious ways cause like I’m trying to hard to firgure out how they know where to put stuff#and of course the rendering is like that in between fully rendered and that more soft vague#which is gorge#but my brain when I do it is like you need to fix you need to fix this looks bad you suck blahblah#not to even mention the anatomy#which is completely fucked here#I can’t do shoulders to save my life#and he looks so dumb sitting on that box#like what’s wrong with his shoe#I know something’s wrong#I think I need to take a moment#I’m caught in one of those logic loops rn#blahhhhhh
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oh no alien
#i never rlly liked alien stuff but the ikea alien..........fuck#also i love watching joey play voices of the void rn so ALIEN ON THE BRAIN!!!!!! BLACK ARMS SHADOW!!!!!!!!#shadow the hedgehog#sonic the hedgehog#ikea alien#aftonsparv#sonic#my art
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all this to say: i think it'd be cute if Barnaby literally howls with laughter
#self conscious ouppy...#big ouppy... big howl....#this has been in my head for Days#and i had to get it out. i had to Share The Thought#wally is included mainly bc i Needed to add him reacting to hearing a Delightful New Noise from his dear bestie#also in my head barnaby has Absolutely heard that joke before#but howdy's delivery & fullchested enthusiasm got him#GOD THEYRE SO *breaks drywall & eats it*#scribble salad#welcome home#laughingstock#barnaby x howdy#howdy x barnaby#now im thinkin about howdy doing his damnedest to try and get that howl outta barns again#ouuughhhhh im emotional im So Fucking Emotional#the dopamine flooding my brain rn. unparalleled#im not used to it... it may kill me... but its so Worth it#the happy howl!!! THE HAPPY HOWL!!!!
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Ah fuck my gf turned into a big chicken
#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#dungeon meshi spoilers#marcille donato#marcille#falin touden#falin#farcille#chimera falin#chimera#dungeon meshi fanart#art#digital art#my brain is ONLY thinking abt dungeon meshi rn#i love them#so much#im so fucking excited to watch more im literally already planning on buying the manga
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See how easily they bleed
#I’m on an evil mom Gil kick sorry for this#I don’t know if I’d call this generational trauma#it probably is but I’m calling it generational bloodlust#hws prussia#hws germany#hetalia fanart#hetalia#I like how I looked up a historical reference for Gil’s uniform but then did fuck all for lud#put him in some rich boy frilly thing#wooow look at me posting at a time that is not precisely 11:32 on the spot#digital art#my art#experimenting with more messy sketch pieces as warmups#I’m trying to do warmups but then I draw them and my brain is like welp that’s our daily quota done!#he probably wouldn’t have coddled young Ludwig like this at this time period#but I’m channeling mother gothel for him rn
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it is all chaos and entropy. the thing is that the chaos and entropy make it beautiful and lovely.
yes, it's true that nature and the universe are uncaring and unspecific, and that is terrifying. i have lived through some of the unfairness - i got born like this, with my body caving into itself, with this ironic love of dance when i sometimes can't stand up for longer than 15 minutes. i am a poet with hands that are slowly shutting down - i can't hold a pen some days. recently i found a dead bird on our front porch. she had no visible injuries. she had just died, the way things die sometimes.
it is also true that nature and the universe are uncaring and unspecific, and that is wonderful. the sheer happenstance that makes rain turn into a rainbow. the impossible coincidence of finding your best friend. i have made so many mistakes and i have let myself down and i have harmed other people by accident. nature moves anyway. on the worst day of my life she delivers me an orange juice sunset, as if she is saying try again tomorrow.
how vast and unknowing the universe! how small we are! isn't that lovely. the universe has given us flowers and harp strings and the shape of clouds. how massive our lives are in comparison to a grasshopper. the world so bright, still undiscovered. even after 30 years of being on this earth, i learned about a new type of animal today: the dhole.
chance echoing in my life like a harmony between two people talking. do you think you and i, living in different worlds but connected through the internet - do you think we've ever seen the same butterfly? they migrate thousands of miles. it's possible, right?
how beautiful the ways we fill the vastness of space. i love that when large amounts of people are applauding in a room, they all start clapping at the same time. i love that the ocean reminds us of our mother's heartbeat. i love that out of all the colors, chlorophyll chose green. i love the coincidences. i love the places where science says i don't know, but it just happens.
"the universe doesn't care about you!" oh, i know. that's okay. i care about the universe. i will put my big stupid heart out into it and watch the universe feast on it. it is not painful. it is strange - the more love you pour into the unfeeling world, the more it feels the world loves you in return. i know it's confirmation bias. i think i'm okay if my proof of kindness is just my own body and my own spirit.
i buried the bird from our porch deep in the woods. that same day, an old friend reaches out to me and says i miss you. wherever you go, no matter how bad it gets - you try to do good.
#writeblr#warm up#i can't write rn but i have SO much words in here bc im reading the chorus of dragons books#(just started book 4)#and this woman's writing is just LIVING in my brain. let me out!!!#(i read roughly like 2-4 books a week usually bc i go on long walks with my dog but when a book is REALLY good like. it eats my life. )#anyway ...... so like here's a story that idk i've tried to explain to other people as being wild#but maybe im the only one who thinks it is wild???#so i play pokemon go (i just started in jan) bc i love pokemon and as i have mentioned i walk goblin for like an hour in the morning#and i don't like a lot of fitness trackers due to the fact it makes me .sad. but i also wanted the little digital rewards. enter pokemon go#anyway so they make you make friends to complete quests. so i used a reddit thread. i do not usually use reddit. i don't have an acct#i lurked. i just googled like ''pokemon go reddit '' and randomly added a bunch of numbers#i was on that page for all of 15 minutes. there are THOUSANDS of responses on that page.#here's what's wild: in that group of people. even though i am not on reddit and it was one random event once#it turns out one of those people lives in the town i live in. or at least very close. i only know this because#when we send each other gifts. it's from the same freaking area.#i can't ask them to meet up bc pokemon go doesn't have a messaging app lol but like . what are the fucking chances that#a random person posts in a random reddit thread and HAPPENS to get added by someone ELSE from their SAME TOWN#who by pure fucking CHANCE is ALSO playing pokemon go and looking for friends#i googled it there's only 42000 people in my broad region. the .......... smallness ! of the world!!!
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pygmalion and galatea for aroace people
you should tell your friends what I look like, riz gukgak.
#fantasy high#fantasy high sophomore year#fhsy#riz gukgak#baron from the baronies#fh class quangle#class swap babeyy! bard!riz that's whats goin on!#I really need tags for these now I think lmao#ask to tag#I feel like this should be tagged something. but I dont know what#in my brain after the initial kidnapping class swap baron's thing is every time riz keeps his story abt them up in front of his friends#they get a little bit closer. they send him pictures of where they supposedly are n stuff#theres a scene in my brain only of kristen and riz on top of the van and kristen is like everything kinda sucks rn can u tell me abt baron#cause what you guys have is so nice and beautiful. and riz almost doesn't but he ultimately can't deny kristen a little peace#lmao I feel like dipping into baron stuff with the class swap is like showing my whole ass online again I just. I'm a#horror person before all else... I cant stop myself. canon baron is Great and Cool but that is kind of the thing. for a horror thing theyre#Too Cool. I think cool is kind of the neutralizer of scary. when a monster is a certain amount of cool it overrides the scary#and now u just have a Cool Monster#its so fucked for bard!riz this year bc he doesn't have an office (he's mooching off the school wifi from the AV club room lol)#so there's no buffer between adventure and home life. so baron just shows up in the strongtower apartment lmao#sophomore year bard!riz looks like a slasher protag so I just leaned into it I guess. he gets a mr. x if mr. x is made up by leon kennedy#well. its worse actually. they can show up where he is at any moment theyve proven this. but they dont#they choose to punish him slowly as he lies to his friends instead. baron is mr. x if mr. x is made up by leon and also a bitch#I think its gonna pop up if class swap baron ever speaks in a comic I do but their voice comes from like. inside their hollow face#it sounds like it's a lot deeper in there than that skull should be#tbh what I have rn is kinda like a bag of loose pieces that Can fit together into something great but I dont have the energy to#really sit down with them yet lol. Im doing this inbetween other things#it comes or it doesn't! it's fine. funny how today's bad comic day also. I wont say this is for bad comic day bc all my comics are#flawless and beautiful and perfect and awesome and beautiful and the best#but u should. if u havent drawn a comic today or at all ever u should draw a comic
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