#is that all the character names mentioned in the vid to be tagged? idk

[sialater18]

I find myself agreeing with this woman’s thoughts on Alicent’s character this season. Which is a shame in many ways…

(Tagging those who might be interested in what this video has to say, I apologize if any of y’all have been trying to get this off your mind only for me to tag you here lol)

@alicentsgf , @lemonhemlock , @thewitchqueenofharrenhal , @spacerockfloater , @gwenllian-in-the-abbey , @forgotten-fossilised , @florisbaratheons , @applepie2523 , @tessarionbestgirl , @queenvhagar , @the-daily-dreamer , @chocobroing , @lunamond , @gojuo, @fearthhereaper , @abla-soso

[furrysmp]

decided for giggles to see what dsmp has been up to in the. Two and a half years since I last looked

Anyways so canon is trashfire but the part of me that started sunbringer in dsmp is now stirring to make More stuff. Like a "the universe reset thing but dream is still in prison so it doesn't reach him" thing that I'm trying to remove from brain bc I actually didn't do the catching up via vods and instead looked at fandom reaction for instructions and uhm.

Yeah no I genuinely want to write this it's gonna be so interesting but also who even does dsmp anymore like is there an audience

[little-eye-guy]

ryan.....

[rainbowcolored7]

TAG NINE PEOPLE YOU WANT TO GET TO KNOW BETTER

Tagged by @evil-moonlight Thanks doll!

I think I've been tagged by a few others for this and I'm sorry I never got around to it! I'm going to be going through and trying to respond to the ones I've missed, but if anyone wants to tag me again feel free!

Favorite Color: Cerulean blue, baby/hot pink and bright yellow has been growing on my for a while now.

Currently reading: Uh, well, I think the last actual book I picked up was the first in the Shadow & Bone series, but as I usually do with books I got distracted by fic and fandom things. I have been meaning to go back and reread (and finish reading) all of Cherie Priest's novels, but they're all packed away in boxes in my storage unit unfortunately. If you're into zombies, supernatural themes, and steampunk I HIGHLY recommend reading her stuff because it's fucking amazing.

Fanfiction wise I'm making my way through @godotismissingx -Bedroom Hymns series for like the fourth time - https://archiveofourown.org/series/2475169

@kinnsporsche True North https://archiveofourown.org/works/39011805/chapters/97582617

And of course anxiously waiting every day for updates on @yeetlegay Fake Love and Hennessy https://archiveofourown.org/works/39083298/chapters/97769772 and @luckydragon10 A King's Tree https://archiveofourown.org/works/39298218/chapters/98339034

(I just spent an hour fighting tumblr to get the coding to work to do click through links and it still isn't working idk so sorry about that...)

Last song: Well, this is difficult to answer because I'm currently listening to music so I'll just name the few songs I've been listening to obsessively for the past week etc. Hindi Sad Diamonds - John Leguizamo, Nicole Kidman & Alka Yagnik from Moulin Rouge (yes this is entirely Tong's fault from the world tour, thank you sir), Always Remember Us This Way - Lady Gaga (it's kimchay and it hurts and I love the pain), Small Doses - Bebe Rexha (ofc a kp video turned me onto this one), Smother Me - Kelaska and OF COURSE Why Don't You Stay by Jeff Satur because, I mean, come on.

Last Series: Working my way through a 3rd/2nd and a half rewatch of The Devil Judge (I never finished my second rewatch), um, KinnPorsche of course, that one is just a constant. Also watching My Liberation Notes, but I had to to take a break because every single character in that show is so damn depressed and human that it really brings me down to the dirt and I was getting a bit too sad. When I can finally tear myself away from all my wips I'm really looking forward to watching the newest season of Virgin River (yeah, I know, don't look at me like that. It's sweet and wholesome and corny and hetero but it's yummy okay).

Last movie: Went and saw Thor Love and Thunder with the fam sunday evening. It was predictable, very marvel (derogatory), but I laughed a lot and it was a fun watch. Oh, and I watched Moana again last night as well because I heard Jeff Satur's cover of How Far I'll Go and promptly cried and lost my entire mind. Go ruin your life and listen to it right now. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ex_NRs9VyNw

Currently working on: Oh gawd please don't make me say it... several vid edits on the backburner, peteporsche fic, lawyer!kinn assistant!porsche fic request by @moerusai , kp fantasy royal au, the haunting of Theerapanyakul house (a haunting of hill house vegaspete au) for the lovely @liyazaki , another armpol fic, the kp greaser!era fic and Vegas character study I may or may not be giving up on 'cause the sparks just aren't hitting right, AND several pieces of artwork. *cries in not enough time*

No pressure tags - Everyone I mentioned above! As well as @acacia-luna-royal @ahdriking @omarandjohnny @mematryoshkame @minisculecosmos @suga4mycoffee

Pretty sure that's more than nine but I cannot count. ❤️

[itsclydebitches]

I found your post about character bashing tags intersting. In the modern Harry Potter fandom on Ao3, they are still in use because I think it's become such an integral part of that fandom's culture as a relic of early fandom. But you can see in some more modern fandoms a sort of convergent evolution, for example, in the Sanders Sides fandom, the tags 'Sympathetic' and 'Unsympathetic' get used to warn of character portrayals. I find it interesting how some fandoms have these tags and others don't

It really is fascinating, especially since Sanders Sides isn't exactly a traditional canon, yeah? I mean, just the format of Sanders' vids feels, to me anyway, like it shouldn't produce the need for sympathetic/unsympathetic tagging. They're very archetypal characters that belong to short comedy sketches and aren't following a standard plotline. So my guess (and I'm not in the fandom, so I really am guessing here), is that these more complex portrayals stem from the fandom expanding on the characters past what Sanders actually produced? There just seems to be a fundamental difference between tagging for, say, an unsympathetic Snape when the ethics of his actions are a focal point of the canon vs. taking a character like Patton and going, "But what if we depicted him like an evil stepfather instead?" (With perhaps some comedy-based details for justifying that in the vids. Again, idk the sketches well.) Though there is something intriguing in the idea that, since they're all only one part of a whole personality, each will inevitably cause problems simply by virtue of, you know, not being a "real," balanced person...

Anyway, yeah, I'd love to know how and why each fandom does/does not develop such warnings, though it's notoriously hard to trace that sort of work back to its beginnings. Especially for a fandom as old as Harry Potter, given that so many works have been lost to purged accounts and dead websites, to name just one challenge. My guess (and this is another guess) is that it's a combination of whether the canon is inclined towards needing such warnings and whether the more popular fic writers end up using them. Harry Potter certainly needs them. I can remember the intense conversations surrounding Snape, Ron, Dumbledore, and how much each deserves the readers' sympathy after various types of failures. Again, that was the point in the story, to demonstrate those flaws, but the radically different conclusions fans came to meant that many wanted to warn when their fics were using an "obvious" reading of the characters that others might not agree with. And those fans, likely, had some sort of standing within the community. The golden age of Harry Potter fic (so to speak lol) was also the age of Big Name Fans, so if any of them utilized such warnings, their massive audience was likely to follow suit. And at that point it just perpetuates itself. Yeah, nowadays it's such a staple of the fandom that unless we were to get an influx of new fans who don't bother to read previous fics/emulate them (which is not only really unlikely in general, but feels particularly unlikely as communities like tumblr push for a complete rejection of anything Harry Potter related), then those trends will just keep popping up.

Newer fandoms like RWBY though... they don't have that history. More importantly though, it looks like there's some difference between its community and something like Sanders Sides, which is comparatively new too. I mentioned in the last post a lack of respect and though all fandoms absolutely have their problems and though RWBY absolutely has wonderful pockets (hey, friends!) I stand by my claim that it's one of the more bullheaded fandoms I've come across. Harry Potter has its insane discourse simply by virtue of its popularity, size, and subject matter, but back in the day, debating the actions and worth of characters was fun. Friends online and off got into heated debates specifically because we enjoyed providing evidence, hearing new ideas, and testing our convictions. Arguing (in a respectful manner where everyone implicitly understood that none of us were truly mad) was a Saturday night pastime. Now, it feels like more fans believe in a right and wrong answer, perpetuated by RWBY's black and white canon in recent years. The idea is no longer to acknowledge the complexity inherent in these characters and likewise acknowledge that individual fans will react to them in vastly different ways, but rather to say, "No. They're 100% bad (or good) and that's all there is to it." The tagging acknowledges that this is just one interpretation, whereas many recent fandom pockets believe that one interpretation is all that exists.

[allsassnoclass]

15, 18 (specifically for the tie me down 'verse ending since i KNOW you were talking about that but if you don't want to disclose then that's cool i just think about it a lot), and 20 go crazy love you a lot xoxo bella

Thank you bella :)

okay these are going under a read more because they got ridiculously long. I really enjoy talking about my writing lol

also some spoilers ahead....

15. Which is harder: titles or summaries (or tags)? I think this really depends!  On occasion, I’ll have a title while I’m writing a piece, but otherwise titles are pretty difficult for me because I really want them to have some sort of meaning. I don’t like just plucking song lyrics for them unless the song has some sort of significance to the fic, but sometimes I have to because I can’t think of anything else and that’s the accepted way to name fics.  Something like All I Really Want Is You is okay because I referenced slsp in the fic.  Something like Puzzle Pieces was taken from a running metaphor in the fic, which I feel better about because it’s something that is more specific to the fic itself.  Summaries are also difficult because sometimes I don’t have a few lines that I feel properly introduce the fic and hook the reader without giving things away, but I feel like people are less likely to read if there isn’t an excerpt??? idk.  tags are pretty easy though even though I’m always guessing a little and worried that someone will say I should have tagged it with something else or that it doesn’t fit a tag I added.

18. Do any of your stories have alternative versions? (plotlines that you abandoned, AUs of your own work, different characterisations?) Tell us about them. For the most part, I don’t have alternate versions unless it’s a prompt fic that I started out going one direction then deleted and flipped it around.  HOWEVER the Tie Me Down trilogy DID have a possible different third installment (spoilers ahead)

If I had written the epilogue from Jack’s perspective, it would’ve been a little bit of a different ending.  Something I mentioned in both of the first parts was Jack’s restlessness and Alex’s desire for something more settled, and one day I was listening to peace by Taylor swift and was like “wow this is Jack from the tie me down verse,” and that song could’ve very easily been the inspiration behind the third part.  Alex’s epilogue was based on best years because he recognized that he hadn’t treated Jack the best but resolved to then make up for it by giving Jack the best years possible ahead with all of his love.  peace as an epilogue song would’ve pushed the story away from a crystal-clear resolution.  that would’ve focused a bit more on the struggle of making it work with two people who want/need fundamentally different things.  It would’ve had much more to do with the compromise of Jack being able to give Alex infinite love and devotion, but not the peace that he craves.  Inevitably, something would go wrong.  “The rain is always gonna come if you’re standing with me.”  The epilogue would’ve then been about Jack living with that knowledge and trusting that Alex would stay anyway and that their relationship would be enough, but there’s still a lot of uncertainty of an imperfect relationship in that song, and it inevitably would’ve ended up in the fic.  that’s why the Alex epilogue was the one I went with: I needed a strong, conclusive, and positive ending for them, and Jack’s epilogue would not have given that

otherwise though I don’t think my fics shift too terribly much between when I think of them and when they get published.  nothing is coming to mind, at least not for things that I have completed.

20. Tell us the meta about your writing that you really want to ramble to people about (symbolism you’ve included, character or relationship development that you love, hidden references, callbacks or clues for future scenes?) Okayyyyyy a lot of my symbolism is in the short angsty fics and when I talk about it I feel like I didn’t do it well lol but for my unrequited lashton (I was done but you undid me) (spoiler) the buckling of the seatbelt was something I thought about a lot and ending the fic with that action was important to me because it was Luke making the conscious decision to protect himself in this situation.  there’s a lot of symbolism in the lie to me music vid in general but back seat of the car/no seatbelt is very significant because 1. he can’t swerve, he just has to take the crash and 2. he isn’t doing the bare minimum to protect himself from the hit, he’s letting himself take maximum damage from it.  while Luke may be in the passenger seat in the fic, he can still take that little step to protect himself metaphorically, which goes along with the decision to protect himself by not trying to pursue something with Ashton or try to get the validation from him that he wants but that would ultimately be a lie.

also fun fact! my angsty Luke song is putting the dog to sleep by the antlers, which partially inspired the bear-trap metaphor despite bear traps not being mentioned in the song at all.  when I wasn’t listening to a version of lie to me while writing that, I was listening to that song.

the tie me down trilogy also included a whole bunch of metaphors that first appeared in tie me down and I hate that for you.  when I do song fics, I really look at the songs for inspiration, so a lot of the figurative language and images in the songs were incorporated into the fics, then I combined stuff for the third installment.  best years arguably had the least amount of influence over the installment out of that trilogy.

I have had a few people ask if the cocktail chats reference in off-screen was intentional.  it was.  that moment in cocktail chats inspired the entire fic.  it all stemmed from a desire to put that one little moment into a fic.  also my personal thought is that off-screen Ashton pretends to dislike petunia but he actually adores her and calls her darling all the time when they’re alone.  Luke heard him do it once and teased him mercilessly.

now for puzzle pieces!!!! sorry bella I know that you asked this question and haven’t read this one yet but I want to talk about it so you can stop reading now because that’s what the rest of this ask is.

I talked about this briefly once, but the colors for puzzle pieces were chosen specifically!  there was thought behind it! 

Michael got red not just because of the iconic red hair, which is how I almost think of younger Michael, but because it’s a pretty loud and brash color.  Michael (especially when he was younger) doesn’t really filter things and wears a decent amount of his personality on his sleeve. that’s red to me, baby!

Calum has always been forest green to be.  This is partially influenced by the empathy hoodie (even though that’s a bit brighter than forest green), but it’s more because my associations with green have always said it’s a very dependable, stable color.  It reminds me of pine trees, and I think Calum can give off that same sense of reliability in weathering the seasons.  It’s a quieter color but can really pop next to another one.  It also worked out nicely that Calum and Michael’s colors were compliments

Luke gets gold because he is a sunshine boy!  Luke actually was the person I had the most trouble with, because I was flipping between gold, a lighter blue, or pink.  Pink ultimately was too close to red to make me be able to visualize what the marks looked like on each boy to my satisfaction like it just looked ugly.  I went with gold because there is a lot of outward brightness in Luke.  He’s the kind of person where if he’s happy everyone else gets a bit happier, and gold also seemed fitting for the eventual shift into a rockstar and the amount of talent he has

Ashton gets purple, but a deeper purple.  Dynamic but still relatively stable, has a lot of depth.  Purple is a secret color, but it’s still beautiful and it draws people in.  When I visualize it it ends up being a really dark shade, but in reality he’s probably more of a royal purple than a plum purple

I have a lot of favorite moments in that fic but one that’s standing out now is right when Ashton and Michael do their first touch: “The dark purple reminds him of spilling grape juice on his clothes as a kid, and when he collapses into Ashton he feels like they could have known each other at that age, too.”  There is something so charming about meeting someone later and feeling like you’ve known them your whole life, and that was significant here because Michael has known Calum and Luke since they were younger (although Luke did come in the picture when they were tweens/young teens instead of kids).  I wanted to be sure that although Michael, Calum, and Luke are the triangle, Ashton is an equal part of their soulmate group.  He doesn’t have the same history, but that doesn’t matter because it feels like he does.

also pretty early on in the fic (I think it’s when Calum is in Brazil) I say that Michael is always touch-starved for Calum, and I brought that line back in the hair dye scene because baby seasons change but people don’t!  one thing is consistent about Michael and that is his love for Calum, expressed here through the love language of physical touch

As for clues for future scenes... :)

anyway! ask me some fun meta writer asks!

[alchemist-shizun]

As expected, Dealing with intrusive thoughts is now one of my favorites

Here I come with almost all of my reactions on the episode, even though I tagged the spoiler warnings I put everything under the cut just in case. Enjoy the emotional rollercoaster while I'll probably go and rewatch it again.

Okay kinda expected one or two of the warnings but all of them together what is gonna happen???? (Though they make sense after reading the title)

HELLO FRESH BACK AGAIN

"I'm awesome and I can do this" there goes my boy. *said boy falls flat on the floor* ...come on

I felt that yawn bc I stayed up all night waiting for the video but it dropped at 8 am, I'm an idiot who should've gotten more sleep

"help me" why is he such a mood "everything is going wrong in my life" same but YOU SHOULDN'T SAY THAT LET ME HUG YOU

They're all sinking up so fast god I missed my bois. Also the general awkwardness of Virge and Pat, greeeeat something will go wrong

Virgil just ignoring everything and touching the railing, a mood

ALSO PLEASE LET ROMAN IN THE SITUATION

SECRET SECRETS ARE NO FUN TELL ME NOW OR ELSE WE'RE DONE

wait why does Ro want to be deeply troubled- man are you okay-

LOGAN'S HERE

"your most extreme reaction is an eyebrow raise" "FALSEHOOD" "I stand corrected" omfg

"what are you ta- what are you talking- what are you talking about?" I loved that whole take it made me feel complete

"Look I barely got any sleep" this can apply to a lot of us and I love just how we're all always like "TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF" but in the end this is where we all end up anyway

Okay I'm very curious about these troubling thoughts though

"so sushi" FUCCC I DIED RIGHT THERE

"Don't act like that was an accident" "everybody, Virgil. Let's give it up for the Purp Man" these speak for themselves. Also the purp man is my new fav nickname and I'm gonna use it.

4:17 Patton is adorable bye

"if you continue to push this we're going to end up in really dangerous territory" AND THAT'S WHERE THE TENSION STARTED TO BUILD UP

great flick

"am I delirious or is this the funniest video I've ever made" I felt that

YOU HIGH-JOCKED

okay but when Thomas starts disassociating I also feel really weird like as if there was something blocking my own hearing for real?? And not just the audio edited like that?? Maybe I'm just too tired

WHAT WHO WHHH first intrusive thought making its way what is gonna happen

OH MY GOD ROMAN WATCH OUT ALSO THAT'S DEFINITELY A NEW DARK SIDE OR SMTH LIKE THAT

W HO THE FUCKLKDSL IS THAT A MOUSTACHE IS THAT GLITTER WHAT IN THE WORLD IS HE WEARING WHAT IS HE DOING THERE PLEASE- okay but he looks crazy af I like that

"-evIL" "-SHOW UP"

First time I watched the scene where Ro gets knocked out I literally just screamed "ROMAN" in a high pitched sound I was shook wtf my bOY

Patton and Thomas's yells in unison plus "YOU KILLED HIM" I just I JUST

"Ah, he's the Duke" "....... boo" AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Okay but his voice is so on point with his character portrayal he's so weird it's awesome?

SONG SONG SONG and oh goodness the visuals I can't fathom how much editing work must have gone through this, they're all so talented.

"aunt patty naked" A G AI N??

"IM GONNA WHIP YOUR BUTT"

a snaKE IT'S DECEIT oh my these silouhettes are so great this is my favorite scene

this is gonna be stuck in my head all day

THE COOL MIRROR EDIT.

god i hate him so much already but i'm super intrigued he's so chaotic the whole team made a wonderful job i'll never stop saying this

"i'm really stupid right now" just how much out of context relatable content are we going to get on this fine day?

omg the dark version of creativity, which can be associated with intrusive thoughts, that's very clever

THE JUICY STUFF DANCE

"Repression can be very bad indeed" I mean he's right tbh it leads to never solving the problem at all

GO LOGAN GO HAVE YOUR TIME TO SHINE FINALLY i missed him

"i can't hear youuuuuu" much like "I don't understand what you're saying I don't know anything about words" THE DARK SIDES ARE ALL SASSY LITTLE BITCHES

pattonnnn did a real good job

THE BRAVE HANDSOME UNBEATABLE ROMAN and mashed potatoes

"scary" and Virgil just gives Thomas a look idk I live on the little details (Im ten minutes into the vid and look how long this post already is)

GEE Remus (already using his name bc it's shorter) looking so offended at the label and then pointing out it should be a Virgil problem whAT DOES THIS MEAN IM SHAKING

WHY WOULD HE BE DECEIT AGAIN IM DYING. "Idk if you guys can tell but I'm a little silly"

"then why are you lying" no everybody I don't need angst

THE BLACK AND THE WHITE THEORY I SAW GOING AROUND good job to whoever thought of that

JOAN

the forbidden dance

INTO A BUTTHOLE WHAT IS IT WITH HIM AND BUTTHOLES

there u go thomas said it too

haters gonna hate hate hate hate hate FHDSLAKLFD

irresponsible parenting, Logan completing the parental unit of the sides

"maybe there's hope for you after all!" me looking at all my wips

REMUS' LAUGH IS PERFECT. also "BITCH WHAT IS *YOUR* DEAL"

"you've never been one to soften the truth" OH BOI HERE WE GO

"do we have some case of brain swap???" I legitly said "maybe" in unison with Patton the first time

Vee pls stop putting Thommy boy down he's having a bad time

Logan trying to put some sense into the situation is my only spark of hope for this to turn back good

REMUS IS SO DRAMATIC

That lick was ....... let's pretend it never happened

"you know who can help us with that???" DECEIT'S SONG COMING UP that was great, imagine the chaos that the duo would create

"THATS WHAT REPRESSION IS?"

gasp Remus trying to make Virgil angry at Logan shall not stand DON'T PUT THEM AGAINST ONE ANOTHER HE'S JUST TRYING TO HELP

"you all are not listening to Thomas" this is the development I needed

"you're just para-" and he cuts himself. You all know what I'm talking about. Foreshadowing probably? This happened too back then when Roman was almost calling him the same. And then Virge looks so hurt I- "thank you for being on guard" that made me want to cry idk

the whole speech Logan gave? Pure gold. That was perfect.

HE SAID FIGURATIVELY *CLAP CLAP CLAP*

"UH RECORD SCRATCH?"

"does this make me cool?" djslagrkglhf also the teeth thing right after what the

... the deodorant eating ...

DUKEY

The first time I watched I thought his name was spelled Remis that's how dumb my Italian ass is

Still I love his name bc I'm a nerd for ancient culture, ESPECIALLY Roman (and ancient Greek but it isn't mentioned here) and I love the little thing they did with both Creativity names, super clever and very much liked on my part.

"I would never hide anything from you" and he looks at Virgil JUST ALL THIS FORESHADOWING

LOGAN SHOWING HIS TEETH BACK UP

"how about you shut up" Roman what the hecc man

THAT THING INTO LOGANS HEAD UNSETTLED ME A BIT

what are they doing to him today let him rest

double blow

"can we logic our way out of that?" everybody nodding was so pure

"shit"

THAT FUCKING JUMPSCARE I'M SORRY WHAT THE FU

"not all thoughts are meaningful"

He's go- no he's back again

THE CALLBACK MENTION AND PATTONS REACTION... probable foreshadowing to what Joan said about there being a part two of SvS?

"When are you actually gonna jump out of a moving car I've been bringing it up for years" so it's not just me..?

"it is okay if the thought happens to cross your mind"

"everything is okay" I'm going to cry I needed that

I love how Logan touches the topic that there is no problem in seeking help from therapists. There's a lot to say on this, but I was really glad that was pointed out since the are a lot of stereotypes on the matter

why did Virgil look like he was about to cry

Patton I love you

Thomas going to rest is what everyone wanted to see

Virgil confronting Remus I'm living you're doing amazing sweetie

"you tickle me emo"

"it was just like old times" then Pat and Lo's looks in this essay I will

ROMAAAAN

VIRGILS SMILE

"YOU'RE ALIVE"

"I LOVE YOU" ME TOO!! ME TOO ME TOO

"are you good?" "are you hurt at all?" I love when the sides look out for each other

"I'm sorry Logan" right through the heart. Another development.

I need y'all to look at Virgil in this exact second because. he.

that's my point.

All those smiles while Logan's talking are making me alive

"No seriously, you're ... really ... cool" I started tearing up right here. Twice. And then Logan sinks down cause he's not at all used to this and he's feeling t h i n g s please keep on being appreciated you deserve it

Also Patton always learning from his mistakes and understanding them when he does something wrong or he thinks in the wrong direction, that's something I think a lot of people need to learn, including myself. Like, it's okay to be wrong and make mistakes, just do your best to make sure you're improving yourself afterwards, instead of dwelling on it too much

"I don't like him" makes two of us

"Soooo you have a brother?" oh boy

The m i r r o r it's making me cry

"He's gone now and he's never coming back!" "I don't think that's-" "BYEE" what was all that talk about repression for if you contiNUE TO DO THIS ROMAN please I beg of you let us hELP YOU he's making me die inside

Oh boi the big moment. I already expected a bomb to drop since Virgil was the last one remaining.

"You okay buddy?" "Huh?" op somehow was already found crying

"I'm a little disappointed in myself" istg all that foreshadowing mixed with me wanting to hug him

The music picking up tension, this is poetic cinema let me tell you

I noticed how he calls them "the others", all these tiny details is what I'm living for

"I should know better" I couldn't beLIEVE IT, also how he seemed to be so frustrated made something inside me break

the pause and then "Because I was one of them", the music stops for a second, a little second in which you can hear my distant screaming "GOSH HE SAID IT IT WAS TRUE"

Thomas is speechless and just stares at him while the music picks up again and then Virgil's sigh and expression sinking down like "there you have it. that's the truth. and you can't do anything about it" he looks so defeated I'm breaking down.

Did I already mention poetic cinema? I just love angst and this scene was perfect

First time watching I, too, barely understood anything I was listening to in the last parte because all of that was really a lot to take in.

"Those thoughts that you may have thought do not define you"

"[the thought] may simply be that we are really okay"

"Go to bed!" me

no im not in the mood for food because for some unfathomable reason I had anxiety before the video dropped yay me

WHY ARE U DRINKING RED WINE WITH THAT DISH

GAVIN BEST BOY EVER

and last but not least: are you fucking serious Remus

THERE'S A SNAKE IN MY BUTT FANDFKJL

I didn't expect this topic at all and I am so glad it was talked about, thankfully my intrusive thoughts do not bother me as much as I realized other people's do. And I never saw anyone talking about this before, which is why it makes this video so important. I saw a tweet recently about someone saying that it is okay if you think about weird things, the important is that you never act on them, that's what makes you a good person. But I think this video really explains it far better and I never realized how common something like this was? So yeah another time in which I've been educated and couldn't be happier about it. These people really are bringing light to the world gah I LOVE THEM.

oKAY guess I'm done this was a wild ride and yeah I tend to point out EVERYTHING, so here you have it, as I already mentioned if you feel the need to geek out too, I'm here for ANYBODY! (pls I have no friends)

[insertofalord]

Even Numbers plus one for Bart for the F/O as the self shipper asks!!!!

1. What kind of blog does your f/o have? Do they selfship on main? Do they look like a regular fan? Quiet reblogs or lots of gushing? Lots of analyses of your character and your source or incoherent blabbering? Do they have a headcanon blog? Do they try to roleplay as you?

Oh Barto seems like he would self ship on main???? No shame, cringe culture is dead and if you make fun of the selfshipping blog he will know where to find you. The blog will also have reblog about the straw hats.

Oh LOT OF GUSHING. He's a dork and smash those key emojis and incoherent babbles in the tag, with ALL THE POST. Me doing something stupid?? "OMG SO CUTE." Me doing something badass, being sarcastic and dangerous???"SWEET ANGEL I LOVE YOU."

Oh no idea if he would have an hc blog?? I don't really see it, tho I can imagine him trying to roleplay me and that's adorable dkdkdn

2. Do they prefer selfshipping by inserting themselves into your source,  or by daydreaming about you in their own little / personal world, or by  imagining you by their side during their daily life? Hmmm, I would say first option or last? Both??? 🤔

For the last I imagine it more being motivational, like "Lixan would be proud of me!!!!" or something haha

4. Do they spend more time on wikipedia, on your fandom wiki, on your TV tropes page? Looking for official content they might’ve missed, like fun trivia? Looking for fanart, for fics? Looking for information and details and references for fics or art or other fancontent they’re making because they want to make sure they get everything right?

I can imagine him being like me, a pic hoarder. Just becausr he does that in canon LMAO

The fandom wiki, details and references, but not sure it's for getting art references or anything, just the joy of hoarding it and knowing everything! He would 100% read every x reader he can find and sometime cringe at the mischaracterization! He cries when there it's angsty and will mope a little if it somehow involve my death/me getting hurt/me doing something immoral I wouldn't do.

6. Does your f/o have a selfship wedding with you? Do they celebrate it on their blog or more privately, with their fellow selfshipper friends? Do they make any content (like art, fics, etc) to celebrate?

OH NO IDEA??? Probably!!! Seems like something he would do! I am divided between public or not but... Maybe a very public announcement but the wedding is with his friends(the barto club, who would be hardcore into my media as well lol)

I... don't think Barto can draw and I'm not sure he knows how to write or read in canon?????? A playlist and a moodboard maybe

8. Do your f/o and your friend’s f/o plan for double dates since their f/os (you and your friend) are from the same source? How would that go?

... I have no friend's f/os who is close to Barto so no idea vdijjmqh

10. Does your f/o have very creative ship names, or are they bad with finding tags / ship names, or do they just use regular fandom tags?

No shame, regular fandom tag! He tries to be very creative and poetic but fail and goes nevermind. He uses my name or a petname!

12. Do they post any videos related to your source? Like AMVs? Or reaction vids (with them reacting to your source as they read / watch / play / etc)? If your source is a game, do they make a walkthrough? Is it a perfect walkthrough, a more casual one?

He has a badly edited amv of both of us to EVERY TIME WE TOUCH (I GET THIS FEELING), bad boy or womanizer idk dbdjdb

I have no idea what my source would be(I could see a fantastic or sci fi cartoon haha), but anyway every time I'm mentioned/on screen he screams and fanboy. It becomes almost incoherent because he cries. Yes not only in sad scenes, sometime he just needs to cry because I'm on screen dbdbd

14. Do they have merch of you? What kind of merch? Posters? Keychains? Stickers? Stuffed toys? (And if they have a plush of you, do they kiss it and sleep with it?)

Hahaha his whole room is covered are you kidding?? In canon he formed a whole crew as a fanclub for Luffy after meeting him ONCE. He has plushes and all official merches and probably a cosplay.

16. Which of your f/os has 1341 pics of you saved on their phone / laptop? What kind of pic did they choose as their phone / laptop background? Is it a canon pic of you, or fanart, or art of their selfship with you?

Yeah that's Barto, he has 1341 pics of me(which is weak. Just for All Might I have more than 2600 only in the phone gallery). He chose those lovecore edits as his background, I could see it... or those flowercrown edits. Canon pics... Or maybe a fanart of us getting married that he commissioned???

[pinkvhs]

hi!! i love your blog but ngl im kinda lost with jse lore, if its not much problem could you help me out with it?? i have no idea what people are freaking out about n it makes me kinda sad cuz i love him but i dont watch every single video :(

thank you so much !! your art is super sweet by the way !!

ah I will try my best ! ! 

Here is a mayhem2k18 master post and Here is another post describing past events too

this blog is pretty good too with Anti  / ego stuff and @fear-is-nameless have some good content when it comes to ego stuff and figuring out & finding this stuff

Mayhem2018 or Mayhem2k18 is also a tag people used this year to talk about the mass ego videos Sean did back in May so there might be more posts there too that I missed! 

Egopocalypse is another tag too! 

Idk how much you know or don’t so I am really going to info dump Im sorry

( Im also going to tag this so if anyone wants to add on go ahead but please add a “read more” if its long. Also correct me if I get some info wrong this is all I remember and have read / heard of in the past )

So basically, back in August of 2016 we were first introduced to Marvin the Magnificent during a Jacksepticeye Power Hour. At first these videos were named different titles but Sean changed them to be the introduction videos to his characters. Marvin is a magician video and it ends with him getting frustrated with magic and ends up coloring a cat mask. Thats the only video to this day that we have of him until later in May of 2018 when we got a mask hiding in the background on Sean’s white board both on his Insta story, during the Am I Color Blind video, and on his Twitch stream. However, when someone pointed it out during the stream he went for a bathroom break and when it cut back the mask was gone. Later on in videos like First Winter it is debated if Marvin shows up in a glitch near the end of the video because people have pointed out a shot of him wearing the mask. He also seems to briefly show up in a glitch like form in Try To Fall Asleep along with Jameson Jackson (who I’ll get to in a bit). Its also debated if Marvin is actually powerful since during Sean’s tour it was asked what the egos majored in with college and he said “magicians don’t go to college but maybe literature so he can say some Shakespeare as he sends you into the mirror dimension.”  But again, it is unsure. He is also suppose to have long hair as stated that Sean liked the idea of long hair Marvin over some fanart he saw and during the tour he mentioned that Marvin wanted a haircut for his birthday. 

Next is Jackieboy Man, a superhero character who was introduced in July 2016. He has been in videos like south park for game play, however, Sean has said those videos are not canon. It also seems like he shows up in Ninja Sex Party’s music video Cool Patrol and some fans think this is Jackie’s back story but that has yet to be confirmed so it is mostly a fun thing. There is sadly nothing of major or hints of him except for an occasional “Where is Jackieboy Man when you need him?” from Sean during the summer of this year. We don’t know much about him at all he is in a similar boat as Marvin. 

Next is Henrik von Schneeplestein or Doctor Schneepletein. He is a doctor character we first saw in September of 2016. When it comes to medical videos like Bio Inc he shows up. He is a German doctor who has a family but there seems to be some issues with that as it was briefly mentioned in his first appearance. In August of 2017, Kill Jacksepticeye was posted and it involves him, Jack, and Antisepticeye. After the events of what seems to be Say Goodbye, Jack is dying and Henrik doesn’t want to lose him again. Henrik is good friends with Jack along with Chase Brody and has saved him before and got Chase help (who I will get to soon). Slowly during that video, Henrik begins to be taken over by Anti. He starts to laugh manically, tries to “hang” himself with his own headphone cords, each time he says antidepressants the word Anti is emphasized and glitches / echoes sounding. More glitches occur on screen both to Henrik as his eye bleeds, voice changes, and begins to beg for us (the viewer) to please help him, “I need your help! Save Jack  Anti “. It ends with Jack dying and Henrik crying out for his friend and it cuts to black. Then Anti appears. Since then, it was months since anyone has heard of Henrik till Sean uploaded a postcard saying Wish You Were here with a beach that can be found in Germany.  Then the start of Mayhem 2018 happens with The Doctor is Back . Its a doctor game but “Doctor Jacksepticeye” plays it but the video ends with Henrik opening the door and Jack seeing him asking “Who are you?” and Henrik being angry saying “I am the good doctor and that is MY chair!” and it ending there. Since then we haven’t heard or seen Henrik.

Chase Brody we were introduced to in April of 2017. He is a dad who runs a Dude Perfect like parody channel called Bro Average. He seems like a happy fun dad who is energetic and kind of like a “suh dude” kind of guy. Later in his video we see he is having family issues with his wife and she is taking their kids away from him. It cuts to him sitting down on the phone talking to Stacy, his wife, back to him doing trick shots and playing with nerf guns and a puppet named Chad, then back to him sitting down asking her to “please just let me see the kids”. He briefly gets on the phone with one of his children saying “hi sweetie, daddy loves you “ but getting cut off and him crying (comedically but still). It then cuts to him being passive aggressively angry but still smiling and doing tricks. It ends with him putting a nerf gun to his head and pretending to shoot himself and falls to the ground. However he gets up and is fine at the very end. The next video we hear from his is Stories Untold, at the end of the video we hear him calling out to his friend Jack saying “Jack! Jack! This is Chase…you need to wake up”  with the morse code saying “Where Am I”. The know for sure we see him in is May 2018 with TIE, a game about depression. This slowly grows from Jack playing and cuts to him being in Chase’s shirt explaining how his friend is in a coma and how things have been rough for him and he wishes things could go back to how they were “Back to when I was happy. When I had people in my life”. It is also revealed that this whole time we have been watching Chase take over the channel for Jack since he is in a coma.  It then cuts to a live action bit with Chase sitting in a dark candle lit room, sitting alone, face hidden as he drinks many cups whiskey and looks at and old photo (assumed to be his family) and cries. He then walks off leaving his hat on the table and the video ending there. The next video, as confirmed by Robin (Sean’s friend and editor), was Dark Silence.  At the end of the video we see Chase walking around his house with a lighter hearing children’s screams and cries. He walks up the stairs and the whole hallway turns red. Standing in front of him is Anti with his back turned and then slowly turning around. Chase screams out “Where are they?! What do you want from me?!” as Anti walks towards him in a new glitchy way and the video cuts to black. The only recent theory of him being in a recent video was 60 Parsecs with the mentions of Stacy. Sean is also the most excited to go deeper into Chase’s character as talked about recently this year. 

Jameson Jackson is the newest character of his and was introduced in Halloween of 2017. He is a silent film type of character that you would see in old 1920s films with the dialogue appearing on title slides. It starts off with Jack giving his intro and it fading / cutting to him dressed as Jameson or JJ. The video is cheery for the most part and he is carving pumpkins but later on it spirals when he slips and cuts his hand with a knife and is in pain. Anti once again shows up and seems to have possessed him as he makes neck slicing gestures to JJ’s neck, slides saying “watching” “puppets” “smile” “still here”, holding up the knife used to carve the pumpkin, laughing,  and music takes an eery turn. He removes JJ’s mustache while grinning but also cuts back to JJ still having. But then it stops and JJ seems fine and cheery then the video ends with an outro too. As mentioned, he then seems to be in Try To Fall Asleep with Marvin back in May of this year. The next video we have any word of him was Akinator when Sean tried to see if the game would guess JJ. Here we got that JJ is British, but also didn’t get many answers to things such as “is your character a puppet”.  Along with glitches in that video too and it ending on a note with Jack screaming into a dark, static, broken septiceye sam tank outro screen. There is also apparently Anti’s laugh at the end too. Its also seems that JJ is mute or has no voice again as stated that for his birthday Jameson wants a voice

AAAANNND for the glitch himself, Antisepticeye. First video back in October 10th of 2016. The concept of Anti has been around awhile, some calling him darksepticeye, but this was the first time Sean actually started to have fun and turn him into a character. During October of 2016 there were many Anti videos in places people today, and even during the time, didn’t think he would be.  [playlist of all October 2016 Anti videos and a few 2017 vids ] However, the major appearance we see him in was Say Goodbye where Jack carves pumpkins and things slowly start being strange like giggling, camera glitches, Jack’s nose bleeding, him hearing footsteps and noises in his house. It escalates where Jack looks dead in the camera and with a shakey hand, slices his neck with a knife and falls dead into the pumpkin. Anti then gains control of Jack’s body and laughs as he reaches out to the camera and it cuts to black with a distant “HELP ME!” yell coming from Jack. It fades to Anti laughing, waving his knife at us and himself as he talks about how Jack is gone forever with it ending “say goodbye”. He then shows up again for a Pax panel opening video in March 2017 called Always Watching. Again, its Jack talking to the people at the panel and the screen starts to glitch and Anti shows up again saying that “he is always there. always watching” till it ends saying “enjoy the show”. This was more of a fun Pax intro than anything but its still an Anti appearance.  August of 2017, Kill Jacksepticeye is when we see him in video next but before that Jack had left pictures and other things leading up to his appearance so we were all on edge. But then again, this is nothing new. Once the screen fades to Anti he says “Who do you think you’ve been watching this entire time? My puppets” and “I wonder what will happen to your favorite boy next time?” meaning, all the other characters are in control of Anti and are his “puppets” and our favorite can die next time we see them again. Next video he is in is Jameson Jackson’s in October 2017  and then Overnight Watch in December 2017. This happened during Jacksepticeye’s Holiday Special charity live stream but Sean pokes fun and denies this ever happened  (even though it infact did). From then on we didn’t hear from Anti until May of this year with his full body and completely different appearance in Dark Silence. Leading up to this, its important to note that the colors red & blue are shown throughout mayhem like an indication that yes, this is an ego video. Since before that, Jack(or Chase) wakes up from a nightmare with whispers saying “I remember what he did to me” at the end of Stories Untold  and seem to go together due to the noises.  Not too long after Dark Silence,  Exiles was uploaded and it has an abrupt Jack showing up on screen confused as to where he is until he finds out he is in the hospital. It ends abruptly with Jack staring blank in the camera, his eyes and mouth opened and gasping for air as blood runs down his eyes with whispers saying “you did this its all your fault” and the ending screen is Sam covered in red light playing in reverse while a siren goes off and some think its an evacuation or warning siren . Shortly after that First Winter is uploaded and close to the middle of the playthrough it shows a dead Jack looking at the camera with blood still running down his face along with a door opening. There was also added Anti bits in the audio that some believe he is saying “Let me out ” along with other things that were not part of the game audio. Close to the end of the game, Jack expresses how “he has never been happier to be home” when even more Anti glitches happen and it seems like a body is walking behind him.  Now the most recent Anti appearances are from Transference of September 21st, 2018 . The first video there was nothing (from what I know of) but the second video there are plenty of hidden Dark Silence Anti moments that are VERY hard to spot the first time viewing. 

Some other mentions are:

Sean changing the FNAF Sister Location video titles back in August of 2018 and how the description has been this from the start

Sean changing his twitter header to Anti after Dark Silence 

Some skeptical connections with Chase and some other Power Hours

Sean possibly hinting the First Winter video since the first Stories Untold video. He has done date hinting in thumbnails in the past. 

Comparisons to Anti now and other Anti videos  

Sean has also said that we have missed some things in his videos before and that alone is enough to make me want to commit perish 

SO OVERALL 

[kkamist]

tags (ღ˘⌣˘ღ)

ok so ive been tagged in different tags by different people ,,, nd have procrastinated on actually doing them ,, so i decided to compile all of them in one post !!

warning: this will be a v long post ,, read only if u wanna ,, know more abt me i guess (why would u lmAO)

fact tag?? i guess

rules: tag 9 people you want to get to know better and answer the questions

was tagged by maria !! @s0ftminho ♡ඩ⌔ඩ♡

Relationship status: single

Favourite colour: yellow,, peach,, nd black

Top 3 ships: oof idk?? oo nomin probably !!

Lipstick or chapstick: i dont use them :”)

Last song: im listening to gfriend - rough rn!

Last movie: spiderman homecoming hAHHAHA ( i was doing a mini marvel marathon bc my dad had the movies and didnt ! tell ! me ! but i uh stopped there lmao )

Top 3 shows: i dont watch shows often,, but i do rly like knowing brothers, night goblin :”) nd its dangerous outside the blanket! oooo theres also cafe amor that is p cute too !!

Currently reading: ok if manga counts, kimi no todoke nd bnha ,, if not ,, waking gods by sylvain neuvel (but i paused like ,, last yr prob hAHHA)

kpop + music tag!

ok so i was tagged by @01yoonjin to do ,, both of these tags if im not wrong,, and @maetaamong tagged me for the music shuffle tag and @hyuunjins tagged me for the kpop tag thingy aha

music shuffle tag

rules: put all of your phone’s music library – no playlists! – on shuffle. list the first ten songs that play. bold the song(s) that lift your mood and italicise the song(s) that makes you the most emotional. then tag ten people!

mad city - nct 127

campfire - svt

us now - vixx

hold me tight - bts

talk me down  - troye sivan

paradise - nct 127

too good - troye sivan

grr 총량의 법칙 - skz

another world - nct 127

blue - troye sivan ft alex hope

kpop tag

rules: answer the questions!

1) 5 favorite groups?

skz

nct

nuest

sf9

w1

2) Top 5 on your bias list? (no particular order)

hyunjin

(lee) chan

(lee) mark

chanhee

jr (jonghyun)

3) Ult Bias group and why you love them?

oof ok i,,, dont know? im not the type to actually Stay ulting a group?? like ill stan then ,,, then,, get into another grp,,, yeah,,,, im not v loyal aa my friends always ask what grps i stan and im liek ,,,,, idk,,,, i stan a Lot,,, (that was a real convo between a new friend i made weeks ago) but i guess,, atm its skz? their music is,, my taste? like the meaning of it nd all,, and uh theyre also v v fun to b with,, there isnt a moment when i dont smile whenever i see one of their vids or during their vlives :”) tbh what i like the most in groups i stan is their humor lmao,,, like if theyre v funny, i automatically love them even more :”))

4) Ult Bias and why you love them?

again,,, idk man,, i dont think i even Ult hAHHA ok but i ,, rlly like bae jinyoung nd chani hHAHHA ok but also ,,,, hyunjin. that boy,,,,,  id do anything for him tbh ,,  also bjy wasnt even mentioned in  2 but,,, i rlly love him ,, like idk,, i dont stan w1 as much now but ,, whenever i see him im like :-))))) (same goes for chani aa) fiuwe idk y i like them sm tho aa

5) Favorite Kpop Meme

iiiiii dont have any guawdeij

6) Favorite pic of your ult? (I dare you to only pick one)

ok what,,, i dont even know my ult hAHAH

7) 5 Favorite Kpop MVs

dont stop - twice (this is in jap tho,, does it count?)

nuest - daybreak

blooming days - exo cbx

you&me - kisum

go - nct dream

8) 10 Favorite Kpop songs?

vivid - loona/heejin

heart attack - loona/chuu

singing in the rain - loona/jinsoul

scentist - vixx

boss - nct u

rollercoaster - chungha

shine - pentagon

blooming days - exo cbx

trigger - vixx

my valentine - vixx

nd a lot more auief

9) Favorite Kpop crack video?

oof i dont watch crack often-

10) Favorite content creator within the fandom?

all of them!! :”)

11) What fandoms would you say you’re an active member of?

aa atm the sk fandom !! i was q active in the svt fandom in my main blog but i dont make content anymore :-( i do want to b active in other grps (like nct nd sf9 nd mayb nuest) but i dont have enough Commitment to run other blogs at the same time :”)))

12) Take your top 3 biases- fmk

these arent my top 3 but-

F(riendly convo with) - murk leeeee

M - oof tbh id marry seungcheol or mingYU OmG :-)))))))) hes not my bias but ,, hes such husband material tbh ,,,,,,,,

K - lee chan bc he,, keeps Killing me w those looks even when im tryna stan another grp ughrei

13) If you could be best friends with any idol, who would you choose?

chani? or chenle!! for chani ,, we’re q similar nd we both like chicken !!!!!!!!!!!! so yes. for chenle ,, we’re also kinda similar but we def have the same humor ,,, which is always great  :^)))))

14) If you could date any idol, who?

hm,,, tbh these days ive been feeling Soft for mark (lee) nd !! also bjy ,,,, ahHa im sorry hyunjin yshvriIHFED

15) What’s one Kpop album you think everyone should have listened to?

vixx - eau de vixx bc nO ONE i know talks abt it :-((((

16) Are you a soft or a hard stan?

swoft??? or medium idK HAHAH

17) An idol that makes you go into soft mode?

100% hyunjin,,, Also bjy.

18) An idol that makes you want to smash the empire state building with one single punch?

o man is also hyunjin aLSO mark lee :-))))))))))

19) Favorite vocalist?

oof hm,, defo seungkwan ,,, seokmin,,, basically svt’s vocal team :-))) oOF reading this again ,, yo haechan???? God tier vocals,,, pls stan nct :-)))

20) Favorite Rapper?

oo ok so i watched high school rapper nd i really like osshun? nd oH bang jaemin :”) aa i need to watch s2 soon jgafiue

in terms of idols, defo 3racha,,, theyre So Good uiahrfiu

21) Favorite dancer?

aAA in terms of girls: cHUNGHA!! for boys its ,, basically all of svt performance team nd,, ten and taeyong- (i like a lot of dancers its hard to choose ifajoiwe)

22) Things you have in common with your ult?

ok i,, dk my ult but ill just do it w the idols i put in in that q - for hyunjin i feel like we ,, both struggle w cooking lmAo nd have troubles waking up early :”) ,, actually now that i think abt it,, were both v quiet nd shy but when u get to know us? were v Loud nd savage (same w bjy nd chani) also again ,, chani likes chicken, i do too so :-)))))))

23) The mot beautiful trait any idol can have?

hm,, confidence? it takes a lot for someone to just go on stage and sing/dance etc,, like i would Never b able to do that- (proven today: had a skit and had a shaky voice the whole time , also laughed alot oops)

24) Songs that will always make you jam along?

vIVID by heejin nd singing in the rain by jinsoul nD ALL THE OTHER LOONA SONGS-

also rock by skz !!!!! nd nd omg rollercoaster by chungha nd,,, scentist by vixx nd many others hAHAH

25) Your worst wrecker?

in skz its ,,,,,,,, ***** :-)) also nomin have been wrecking me these days ,, rip

26) Any kpop concerts you’ve been to?

0 bc my parents wont let me :-(

27) Favorite choreo?

there r too many-

28) Favorite live performance?

also too many- but i do like concert performances where the fans sing along too- like those Hit me in the feels everytime (eg: smile flower - svt!!!) iahfnie (does this even count lmao)

29) Favorite debut mv?

adore u- svt !! (3rd anniv coming up ihHIWU)

30) Recommend a rookie group

skz obv, loona, unb ,, (g)i-dle !!

31) A kpop song you could listen to every day for the rest of your life?

there is a Lot but prob vivid - heejin hAHAH I RLLY LIKE THAT SONG AUWIFHIAU

20 question tag!

rules: answer 20 questions and then tag twenty people you want to get to know better

i was tagged by em !! @realstraykids  (´∀｀)♡

name: hazirah (oo name reveal :^))

nickname(s): haz

zodiac sign: scorpio

height: i am smoller than em ,, barely 5 feet :-)))))))))

languages spoken: ok ,, eng, malay, arabic, uuuh tiiiiiny bit of chinese and im now (kind of) self learning korean :^)

nationality: singaporean

favourite season: ok we dont have fall in sg,, but fall !!

favourite flowers: baby’s breath!

favourite scents: the scent of fried chicken :-)) or fresh laundry ,,, also petrol smell :-) 

favourite color: i answered above but yellow, peach nd black

favourite animal: shiba inus !!

favourite fictional characters: mmmm kacchan nd aizawa nD TODOROKI IFIAEUR HOW COULD I FORGET HIM O Mg frm bnha !! also baz nd simon frm the book carry on, simon by raindow rowell (one of my fav books tbh) ,,,, also tanaka frm tanaka kun is always listless bc hes goals tbh. ALSO oMg USUI TAKUMI FRM KAICHOU WA MAID SAMA OH MY GODUIHF

coffee, tea, or hot chocolate: ok in cold countries i Always get hot chocolate,, here in sg i always get green tea,, or ice lemon tea sometimes :-)))

average sleeping hours: 5-6

dog or cat person: both but more towards cats tbh

number of blankets you sleep with: 1

dream trip: the world !! or like japan/england ,, 

blog established: feb 1 2018

followers: a number :-)

random fact: mmmmmmmm i broke my fast w two of my friends last night nd caught up w each other nd im v happy :-)))))

nd thats the end !! (not really,, theres like 2 slefie tags but i have 0 pics oops) but if you read through all this,, congratulations,, you probably know me more than my classmates :-))))

[relatablepicturesofkpop]

Yes um hi, please bless me with the knowledge of what kpop groups you stan, thank you🖤

Oooooh GLADLY! :D

So there are three groups I stan to the point i think about them 3462789154 times a day: (i.e. watch every day and can pull random factoids about their debut date, birthdays, hometowns, etc.) and those are BTS, EXO and Astro

-BTS i found in 2015 and they are my ult group, Taehyung is my ult bias. So HYYH has a very special place in my heart :”) At first i saw I Need U and was like ‘what on earth is this’ and Youtube offered me ‘HYYH Full Movie’ (I Need U +Prologue+Run and later on + Young Forever but i found them before Young Forever dropped so that was my first comeback) and i cried harder than i ever had before at Taehyung’s drowning scene and i loved how everyone’s characters are so complex and just— yeah im a THEORIST and i RANT on MAIN (also that vid of Taehyung from Boy In Luv era dorkily dancing? confirmed for me he was my ultimate bias from Day One and ‘till forever) you could show me any bts photo and i could tell you what video its from & what they were doing-Astro! I noticed them around Breathless era but by Baby era i was sucked in. The first song i heard was Fireworks and Breathless acoustic version (THE UNDERRATED VERSION) Sanha became my favorite kid in the whole world & guess what,,, i watched the Cicada video,,, all you Arohas out there know what im talking about,,, THAT vid where they are all terrified of a little bug im so sOFT FOR THAT VIDEO (#tag urself im MJ) how can you Not stan after seeing it(also i just want to let it be known I went to their fanmeet and I dabbed at Rocky and he dabbed back and also that i have gummy bear packets given to me from Sanha Eunwoo Rocky and MJ and that Eunwoo and i touched hands when he gave it to me and also that i shook Sanha’s hand okay sorry for that yeeeeee)-EXO okay so exo was probably the first kpop group i listened to the Most, i COULDNT pick a bias at all but i settled between Chanyeol Xiumin and Baekhyun but eventually Xiumin claimed that bias spot because what a cute baozi he’s like a little kitten whom i wanna cuddle and i cant believe its his Birthday Month… its that time of year where im in denial he’s almost another year again lads (dont ask for my favorite song because i Cannot Deliver)

Other groups I stan (i.e. know all the songs and member’s names but i sometimes miss out on new content)

-Twice alrighty Twice really SHOULD be up there with bts/astro/exo, I knew Twice when Cheer Up released but I didn’t become a fan until Knock Knock. Technically I started becoming a Once when TT dropped, that’s when i decided to be a Once but i didn’t learn the members until after Knock Knock. My first comeback was Signal and boy did i love that era @ signal haters its a bop so fite me i even learned the choreo and everything. catch me trying to learn Likey’s choreo and looking like a Mess. Sana was the member i thought was going to be my bias when i was trying to pick during Knock Knock but Dahyun is my ultimate female bias now.

-Golden Child DAMDADI WAS THE BEST DEBUT I COULDVE HOPED FOR! I lowkey stanned Golden Child before debut actually. If anyone doesn’t know Golden Child google their song Sea, its like that song you wanna listen to in the warmth of the sunlight and just embrace idk its so??? SO!?!?!? I’m currently in a dilemma because i can’t choose my bias, it’s either Donghyun, Sungyoon or Jibeom, but i think those three are my top of the Golcha bias list, in that exact order

Groups I have decided to stan (i.e. i know the members’ names and most of the songs but probably could only tell you the order of the eras and I haven’t gotten around to catching up on all their personal videos but i still hype the comebacks)

-Gfriend im not a new Buddy but im not an old one either? Ive always liked Gfriend but i never really got into the group as a whole until after a year. My bias is Umji !!! She’s in my top female idols she’s a pure angel istg

-SAY THE NAME, SEVENTEEEEEEN i found them during Very Nice and I learned as much as i could, after exo i told myself ‘no more groups with over 10 members’ but… SEVENTEEN RIGHT HERE~ My bias is Joshua Hong and my favorite song is Swimming Fool. However i’m a baby carat because i JUST started to look into their personal videos in December of 2017. So forgive me but im a baby carat! I’m definitely a newer fan and I’m still learning. also rn ‘My I’ is on repeat for the 21th time send help

HONORABLE MENTIONS aka Groups I might stan in the future but for now only keep up with their comebacks-

-Victon I am THIS CLOSE TO STANNING THIS CLOSE YOU HEAR ME-VAV i LOVE their music but i need to see more till i decide!!-TRCNG, they recently debuted and I liked Spectrum (their debut song) but i’m waiting for a concept i really like before i decide to stan or now. Utopia is my favorite song tho -Snuper is a solid ‘i listen to them but idk them’ but that might change-Seven O’ Clock i loved Echo but… i need another comeback to rly see-JBJ i saw Fantasy and was like ‘aite i see you’ then My Flower was all ‘you best bet you gonna be seein’ more of me’

(also is it too late to stan Boyfriend and Super Junior ive always kinda just… been there watching from the sidelines for years lol)

okay WOW SORRY FOR THIS BIOGRAPHY AND WHATNOT but yup that’s all of ‘em accounted for

Just to clarify though, i listen to ALL groups to the majority of Kpop!! This is just a list of groups i really really like both musically and personally, but  music-wise I listen to… everyone i know everyone. i’ve been apart of kpop for 3 years so these are the just groups that have stood out to me The Most™

[candlewisps]

Will you write anything related to Bloodline? In the Metas, I mean. Because while I think that Kylo's fight with the dark voice in his head (aka Snoke) has apparently been longer than initially expected, I think the fact that he learnt about his connection to DV rather violently if Leia's ominous reaction tells us smtg, with learning that his family had been keeping smtg that important from him... Must have been hard. Any thoughts? (I love your meta)

Sooo many thoughts @luciemiddleford, but I’m almost positive my response isn’tgoing to answer your question in any kind of satisfactory manner whatsoever.

My reaction to Bloodline, while mostly positive, is a bit ofmixed bag, and that’s due entirely to inconsistencies about The Family™ betweenthis book and the information we were given in TFA. Aaaaand how Bloodlinemesses with the timeline we more-or-less had previously established (more onthis later) and how this new set just feels wrongto me. In order for me to get across just how I feel in regards to him findingout about Vader in this manner, its necessary for me to discuss why I don’tfeel confident whatsoever about what little info we did get about the Organa-Solo Family Dynamic. Like, at all. I don’ttrust relying on the glimpses we got in Bloodline, including Ben finding outabout Vader in such a jarring manner.

I haven’t gone through the tags on here so idk if otherpeople have broken down some of the inconsistencies and issues with continuitythat Bloodline through into the mix, or if anyone has noticed them at all. Justto start off: I loved the novel. Fucking loved it. One of the best Star Warsnovels ever, in my opinion. I’m a sucker for politics/undercover/conspiracystories, so this was right up my ally. Basically everything related to Leia,the New Republic, the First Order already working within the Senate, anythingthat set up the political outlook for TFA had me overjoyed and I found itincredibly well-grounded in that regard.

It was just those few throwaway lines (I read the wholething twice and I think there are only like six or seven references) about Ben+ Luke that threw everything off. I was expecting this book to give us piecesof the puzzle to put together about HOW exactly everything went down, or atleast glimpses into how the Organa-Solo family life was pre-academy training.Instead it just made me scratch my head and question the canon-ocity of ClaudiaGray’s work. And there’s honestly good reason to question it??? Gray clearlystated that she had not seen/read the script for TFA prior to writing the book,she was clearly Surprised when she saw TFA and it didn’t outright contradictwhat she wrote in regards to the Fam, and beyond that any information shewould’ve been given about The Family™ in order to make Leia’s relationship tothem seem believable would’ve been pretty cut-and-dry (as in: they have a kid,here’s his name, he and Luke are busy doing ~something~). Rereading it justseems like they told her to name drop Ben and Luke a couple times just to makeit clear that she keeps them in her thoughts. They didn’t give her anymore towork with because obviously they’re saving that stuff for TLJ and didn’t wantto spoil it. When Gray was going through the details with Pablo Hidalgo andRian Johnson on what to center the novel around, the only information shereceived for how to make this a setup for TFA was concentrated solely aroundThe New Republic government, the Vader Scandal, hints of the First Order, andthe forming of the Resistance. Just another reason I don’t feel confident withany of the information that isn’t strictly political in nature. The familyaspect just feels like a fill-in-the-blank game (minus what we got with Han,that was all very believable).

Two of the prime problems I have, inconsistency/generalproblem-wise, are in regard to Ben’s age and in how he found out about Dear OldGranddad.

For starters, it was established pre-Bloodline that Ben leftfor training when he was 10 (still canon). It was also the prevailing andaccepted idea pre-Bloodline that Ben fell to Snoke and did-whatever-deed-he-didat the Jedi Academy when he was 15 (I believe I even saw a source at one pointthat confirmed everything went down at 15 but idk where it would be hiding,someone link me if you find one). Makes sense. HOWEVER. According to Gray’sbook, Ben is still with Luke at the age of 23 and hasn’t gone all Dark Sideyet. Here’s the inconsistency: according to the TFA script, when Kylo takes offhis helmet, “Han is JOLTED, seeing the face of his son for the first time as aman”. So Han hasn’t seen his kid since early adolescence, probably. That iscanon. Unfortunate and heartbreaking, but canon nonetheless. I imagine, butcan’t firmly say, it’s been the same amount of time for when Leia last saw Benas well.

This Bloodline continuity hogwash actually creates a majorproblem for Han and Leia’s characters. If we go pre-Bloodline assumption thathe turned at 15, then it means that, at most, Han/Leia went 5 years withoutseeing their son, in person or holo-vid (that assumption is pushing it btw, theystill could have visited him in early teens). We don’t know how busy they were,don’t know where Luke’s Academy was, don’t know if there were any rulesattempting to limit disturbances in the kids’ training. The only thing we canglean is that the Academy, wherever it was, was fairly isolated and hard toreach. So 5 years (again, pushing it) sucks, but is understandable under the rightconditions. BUT. If we adhere to Gray’s timeline, then it means that they went13 years without seeing their kid. It goes from sucky-but-understandable tofucked up in a big way. It is canonically established that Han hasn’t seen hisboy since he was an adolescent, but 23 is an adult. If Han hadn’t seen his kidin that many years, and was able to with him presumably just chilling with Lukeand not off doing dark deeds, then it makes Han and Leia look bad for notputting in any effort to see Ben (or Luke for that matter #rude). It reflectsbadly on Leia and Han. It was already canonically established that Han and Leiaweren’t there enough to guide him—this makes the setup for his upbringingunfortunate, heartbreaking, sorta-kinda understandable. But going 13 yearswithout seeing your kid when you have the means is not understandable andmakes one a shitty parent. This is why I don’t like it one bit. At the previouslyaccepted 15-year age mark, everything flowed together naturally and made sense.At the “new” 23-year age mark it just makes everyone seem like an asshole. It’sjust pushes things a little too far to be believable imo.

In addition to this, Leia states, “I never should’ve senthim away. That’s when I lost him”. This strongly implies that what happenedwith Ben happened relatively quickly (and that there was probably minimalcontact), as in FIVE years, not THIRTEEN. Thirteen years is a long time to sitback, think, and pinpoint exactly when you lost your son without actively doinganything about it. Which is not in Leia’s character. And Han says, “There wasnothing we could’ve done”, which also implies to me a relatively SHORT periodof time between when they actually had personal contact with him and when Bensplit for the Baddies™. Someone who has had repeated personal contact, evenfavorable/positive with their child (messages or otherwise) over a period ofthirteen years after training began would not be making such absolutiststatements. Again, five years makes a certain amount of sense, thirteen has mewtf-ing. Also??? Both Leia and Han’s statements sound like ones to familiar topeople who have had years upon years to come to term with things (as in, 15years ago, not a measly 6).

Onto my other major problem: how Ben found out about Vader.I have a really, reallllllllyyyyyy hard time imagining that Ben found out abouthim out of the blue. I can see where Gray is coming from, but actually thinkingabout it in terms of how Kylo is portrayed in TFA makes no sense with theBloodline timeline. Just for starters: as a descendant of the Chosen One, Benis ridiculously Force sensitive?? So despite the fact that Leia and Han keptthe Grandpa Bomb from him (I imagine Luke would’ve wanted to tell him the truthbut had to adhere to Ben’s actual parents), I don’t see how he would’ve gonehis entire upbringing not picking up on, at the very least, that they werekeeping something huge from. When Han says that there was too much Vader inhim, it implies there were many signs from him as a kid that made his parentsuncomfortable/nervous. For a Force-sensitive who can sense emotions and readthoughts, he would’ve at least picked up on that kind of ~vibe~ they sometimesgot around him and been curious about it. I even have a hard time believingthat, after a while, he might not have “pried” a little bit by trying to readthe thoughts of his “weaker” parent (Han) without detection. He wouldn’t havemeant anything inherently malicious about it, just a curiosity/desire foranswers for why some things made his parents ~share a look~ if you get mydrift. Kids pick up on things. Not to mention he might’ve picked up a vibe fromLuke himself. While I don’t doubt that Luke would’ve agreed to let Leia/Hanreveal things on their own terms, I still think it would’ve been difficult forhim to maintain the façade of “Vader was the enemy and I hate him to this day,glad I killed the bloke”. Ben would’ve been raised on stories of his family’saccomplishments, especially of Luke’s vanquishing of two Sith Lords, so I thinkhe would notice when they either tried to avoid discussing such things or thatmaybe his uncles retelling just didn’t feel right.

The other problem with the “he found out about Vader out ofthe blue” is the fact that that doesn’t organically coincide with hisdedication to Vaders cause that we see in TFA. For Ben to have gone 23 yearsclueless ala Bloodline, his unnerving conviction to finish what Vader startedfeels out of place. Six years is a little short to go from clueless to the “Iwill do everything in my power to finish what you started” idolization we havegoing on. FIFTEEN years on the other hand…well, you get my point. There’s alsothe issue of Snoke. Snoke was in this kids head from the beginning, so I can’timagine that he wouldn’t have used Vader’s identity as an additional tool toget Ben to mistrust his family as early as was feasible/useful. I already madethis whole post about how Vader’s identity/”ghost” was one of the integraltools Snoke was using to secure Ben’s loyalty, so there’s that as well.

While Bloodline is “technically” canon, it is still dubiouscanon at best, prone to changes and mistakes. There are only three “officialofficial” sources of canon (more or less indisputable), and those are the films,the scripts, and the official novelizations of said films. Any othernovels/comics/etc that doesn’t accompany one of the actual movies is canon only until/unless details within it areproven false or clash with Official Canon. And there’s enough weird informationin Bloodline regarding everyone’s favorite Family™, combined with the fact thatGray never even saw the script for TFA, that has me questioning just howin-universe I can take it.

It’s not that I have a problem reorienting myself intobelieving that he made his dark turn as an adult (I do actually), it is just afar less organic and natural string of events compared to him turning at 15. Samewith how he found out about Vader. Bloodline-timeline requires a suspension ofdisbelief. And it affects the narratives of other people around him as well, ina mostly negative way.

Maybe it’s just me that this really bothers. But theinformation Claudia Gray gave us (again, dubious canon at best) just fills liketrying to fit a square peg in a round hole and it throws me off thinking aboutit. I’m just gonna wait for TLJ to confirm/deny anything regarding the Family.