#FUCK ME THAT WAS HARD UGH!!!
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this is how i feel talking to achilles after failling a run w his aspect smh
#its so fucking hard augh#wasted 1 death defiance IN TARTARUS#the shield wouldn't do this to me#hades game#hades supergiant#zagreus#should i tag this ith#its barley it#i'll do it tho#ith#in the heights#i'm breathe whenever i fail an attempt#ugh#juuust breeeatheee#fanart#art#silly
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Thinking about Martin Blackwood. Thinking about how he took care of his mom even though she hated him. Thinking about how he did this for Jon too because once his mom moved to the care home he had some distance between her and now he met Jon, who he had a similar relationship with at first, and assumed the same role of a caretaker/one-sided companion. Thinking about how he said that he only went with Anabelle Cane in MAG198 because he was sure she was going to hurt Jon but not himself because he “wasn’t important enough to kill.” Thinking about how when he was in his own domain he constantly made excuses for his mother’s hostility. Thinking about how he shamed himself for negative feelings towards his mom and tried to keep the guilt over her death by saying he was the one that stressed her out. Thinking about how he constantly deflected the fact that she didn’t treat him right and only focused on what he didn’t do right. Thinking about how Martin Blackwood views himself as a disposable device of assistance/comfort to everyone else and berates himself when he fails to live up to that role he’s been put in time and time again. Thinking about how, when Tim said “This isn’t about you” Martin said “it never is” because his importance is always chalked up to the importance of other people, and his job is to help them in one way or another, however he can. It is never about him because he is not made to he important.
#not writeblr#congratulations me you made yourself fucking cry#Idk if this fully came out the way I wanted to word it but like there’s something about him I want to express and it’s SO HARD to verbalize#he’s just. Ugh. Such A Character. I am having Thoughts that I need to Articulate#tma#martin blackwood#tma martin#the magnus archives#tma jon
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hi i have literally zero art to post rn but here's my favorite shot of the main character from my thesis graphic novel so far
#she is trying very very very hard. i am also trying very hard because i dont want to draw all this fucking exposition#just let me get to the lesbianism and the fight scenes PLEASEEEEEE UGH#anyway. 4/5 pages for this week complete. slay#art school is very much art schooling. the fact that i went to a metal concert last night#and danced so hard and screamed so loud that my entire body hurts is also definitely not helping. anyway#i promise i'll have art for you soon. you know how it goes. no art in september because im preparing my linktober backlog
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i just think lois lane should put tim drake in her purse like a little dog. a scrunkly little companion who's even better at picking locks than she is, which is saying something. a nosy little freak after her own heart. the rubber duck she uses when talking her thoughts out loud to put clues together. her coffee gofer. her purse ferret.
#rimi talks#lois pulls the ''steal a uniform/badge and pretend i work here'' trick and gestures to tim to follow her lead and tim is DELIGHTED#need him following her around the daily planet offices just chattering constantly at her elbow. like a duckling. that canNOT shut up#as enrichment in his enclosure she directs him to sneak her some coffee without clark noticing#(he never manages to not get noticed bc. superman. but he still tries really hard)#<- now that ive mentioned coffee in the same post as tim drake. everyone be fucking cool ok. be normal about this.#i just know tim manages to charm so many people at the planet bc his annoying baby brother energy is just SO POTENT#tim drake daily planet summer internship au that lives only in my mind. speak to me#lois is out there like. ugh. fucking simone wants to run clickbait again. can you believe? the NERVE of that woman.#and tim nods seriously. fuck simone!#[Lois Lane approves. +10]#tim#lois
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#neil newbon#this gives me a VERY heavy heart#astarion#bg3#beating a trauma survivor is always so fucking hard#and i feel that bc you experienced that pain and abuse and decided to try and find a better version of yourself#you also understand how it is for other people and you try to act with care#maybe that's why he's trying to be so understanding and so forthcoming#i respect and appreciate him for that#even how he himself wants to hug astarion#I'm FEELING#*being a trauma survivor#ugh
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Y'all ever cry when you think about how everyone in Eddie's life assumed he'll make a terrible parent without even offering him the help he needed to prove himself except for Buck?? He hears about Eddie's struggles with parenting and doesn't think 'you're a bad dad' he just thinks 'you need a bit of help' and then proceeds to make that happen for Eddie.
Calling Bobby to get permission to have Chris with them because Eddie doesn't get the time to, introducing Carla to go through the shitty red tapes he's been struggling to figure out, driving him to pick-up Chris after the earthquake, throwing a surprise Christmas party so that Eddie can be with Chris, and being the person Chris can turn to when he doesn't feel like talking to Eddie.
I don't think Buck realizes how much Eddie probably values all the things Buck has done for him to allow him to be the parent that he's always been capable of being. Buck downplays the things he does and probably thinks it's not much but for Eddie it's everything. It's everything Eddie didn't get from his partner or his parents. Buck just... does it for him, as easy as breathing.
This is why it was so, so easy for Eddie to choose Buck as the legal guardian for his Will but it was a shock for Buck. Buck doesn't know how integral he's been to Eddie being a good dad. For Eddie, it's easy because be knows Buck is already capable of stepping up. For Buck, it's surprising because doesn't think all the things he does matters.
#now I'm not saying Buck is the only reason Eddie is a good dad okay#because Eddie does so much of the work himself#but parenting is hard especially if you're a single parent#you have so much to do that people often judge you for not being perfect#so the fact that buck steps in and helps out in little ways so that eddie can actually be the fully awesome dad that he is#ugh they are so fucking precious to me#i love getting into their heads and dissecting what their thought process is like#remember the way eddie looked at buck when he introduced carla to him??#yeah that#that's the look of someone who can't believe what the other person is doing for them#co-parenting buddie is everything#buckley diaz family#buddie#911 abc#eddie diaz#evan buckley#evan buck buckley
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I truly believe Will Wood is an incredible musician and songwriter and is one of the top lyricists in the last decade both in and outside of the genres that he chooses to play in with absolutely zero irony. I also believe that you can only fully understand that if you’ve either had a pet die before listening to his music or you have a history of drug abuse and mental health crises. Or you’re trans.
#this may sound like a snooty post where I’m just upholding my own favorite music as the best#but honestly it’s in response to a lot of fans I’ve seen be really self critical?#like yeah haha I listen to bad music#and I also have been known to joke about my own weird taste#but here’s the thing! from a technical level! his music! goes hard! it is experimental and that is GOOD#and lyrically listen I listen to a lot of music#I’m even familiar with top forty stuff and while yes the content of his songs is very niche#the lyricism is so genuinely clever and playful and ugh god#ok anyway. sorry#listened to Will wood again#and also this post is about the fact that I first I didn’t get it.#and then I went to a really low point. and suddenly I got it#ok it cracked me open like a fucking egg#music#text#personal#kinda
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crayons are pretty fun
#chelldos#bayyyybe im going to hell with you mayyyyybe#hit me like a emd sd70 :3#portal 2#portal#chell#glados#uhhhh#im in the hole amd theres women here so 🫡🫡🫡🫡🫡#freedrawing with pen is fucking hard too#i didnt have a pencil can you tell. ugh
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wdym you won’t bounce on it, i called you bunny, didn’t i?? SO BOUNCE LIL BUNNY!! GOOOOOO
#eff yaps#thinking about her riding me but then getting all pouty and bratty and refusing to move any more#ugh!!! in those cute fucking bunny ears too?? kill me dead rn#i feel like i can get her to correct her brattiness in like. 4 seconds max. maybe#so this would probably work#also a really hard slap to her ass#EEHHHH actually maybe her pretty face too#or a firm grip around her throat or on her cheeks smushing em togetherrhbfnnrnrhj FUCK#what am i !!! doing to myself !!!!!!!!!#like an hour ago i was about to start begging to be bullied into subspace#COS I WANNNTTTT ITTTTT >;|#but here we are
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You ever think about how in spite of knowing their exact locations, the game never gives any indication that templar Carver has reported his mage sibling, Merril (a blood mage) or Anders (an abomination) to his superiors?
I do think about that a lot, even though I tend to ignore the Templar Carver route because I know Warden Carver to be true in my heart and soul... but I totally get the appeal of Templar Carver within DA2's narrative, y'know?
It's so fascinating, really. I've never played a run with Templar Carver, I just can't bring myself to do it, so I know I'm missing out on smaller details of it. From what I do know, this drives me crazy in the best way possible.
Deciding whether to bring him or not to the Deep Roads is such an important choice, not only because it affects his fate, but how it affects his relationship to Hawke. He tells you that he wants to go, he makes it very clear that it's important to him that he goes, too... and Hawke can just leave him behind and it hurts him. I don't think that registers enough with some people just because of how Carver is, like it doesn't matter what Hawke's motivations are [staying behind for his safety, not wanting to bring him, thinking someone should stay with Leandra, etc] it still hurts him because it tells him that Hawke doesn't need him, and Carver wants to be needed.
And yes, there are other contributing factors to why he joins the templars, but it doesn't matter what your relationship is to him, it doesn't change the fact that he doesn't turn Hawke or his companions in.
Sure, the meta reason is it's a video game and you're playing the main character. You're never in any actual danger of being captured by templars, and you're not going to lose your companions to them that easy.
But if we look at it through the narrative and Carver's character, that's when it gets interesting. You can max out his rivalry and be an utter asshole to him [there's a point where you can call him a brat and mock him for being stuck in your shadow, like Hawke can be real cruel about it] but it doesn't matter, you're still his sibling. He even makes a remark about how you might not know what that means [referring to leaving him behind] but he does. He refuses to kill Hawke in the end when Meredith makes the order, too.
Which can I just point out that Hawke has the option to let Bethany die in the end if she's with the circle and they side with the templars? Just saying, Carver NEVER does that no matter what, but Hawke has the option to betray Bethany like that and it's fucked and interesting and it makes me want to eat my chair-
As for Merrill and Anders, I think he knows that if he turns either of them in, then the chances of Hawke being brought in as well skyrocket. They're all friends, they're in the same group... bring one in, and you'll probably get the other two.
I also think Carver just genuinely likes Merrill. Yes, I'm a Carver/Merrill shipper, so I have a bias, but even if you remove anything romantic from their dynamic I believe that's true. Of all the companions, Merrill is the only one who doesn't make fun of him, or find him annoying, in party banters. He never snaps back at her, like he's never defensive with her, he's just a little awkward and nice.
Like, HE'S SO NICE TO HER! He tries to find common ground with her! She asks him about "swording" and he's taken aback by her saying he's good at it, but you KNOW that if someone like Anders asked him the same question, he's be all, "shut up, you're stupid, stop talking to me >:["
Think back to that banter Carver can have with Aveline post-act 1 where they're talking about how the guard wasn't the right place for him [hard disagree with you there, Aveline] and Carver says he was a bit of a tit, wasn't he.... and every companion will agree except Merrill. She doesn't say anything, whereas other companions like Anders will be like "ugh maker YES" and if you have a purple Hawke, they'll go on to other ways Carver was a tit like?? I think Carver and Merrill got along and he doesn't want to turn her in because she was nice to him! And she's a blood mage! He knows what will happen to her if the templars get ahold of her! He doesn't want to see her made tranquil or killed!
At that point, he's witnessed what bad blood mages can do, assuming you've brought him along for those quests, but even so. He knows Merrill isn't like that and he likes her, so of course he's not going to turn her in despite that being his literal duty.
Then there's Anders who Carver doesn't like. If you're in a romance with him, Carver will tell him that's why he doesn't turn him in but c'mon Carver, you know that's not the only reason. My theory is Carver may not like Anders and he knows the man's got a spirit of justice inside of him... but Anders also runs a free clinic. If he's ever taken in by templars, then so many people [including a LOT of Fereldan refugees] will be without free health care and will suffer for it. I think in Carver's eyes, Anders might be irritating but he doesn't more good than harm. Carver knows first hand how shitty refugees and poorer people are treated in Kirkwall. Anders' clinic is the one place they can go for help and actually get it, and he's not going to be the one to take that away because the templars say "magic bad."
So yeah, I'm not as informed about the Templar Carver route, but I do think about how if I did do that route, he wouldn't betray Hawke or their companions no matter what and what that says about him.
#asks#dragon age 2#da2#carver hawke#da2 merrill#da2 anders#listen i love carver hawke okay he and bethany are my favorite companions in da2#i could talk endlessly about the twins and their roles in story and how unfair it is that only one of them can make it to kirkwall#meaning we hardly get to see them interact with each other before one dies and UGH#like i get it their stories rely heavily on them being the only mage or non-mage in the sibling trio so both of them living#would've meant writing two different origins stories for them with different attitudes affected by having another siblings that like them#but also i think if hawke's a rogue then leandra should've died and we could've worked it out okay#ANYWAY... templar carver amirite? i know i should go that route just to say i have and to see it for myself but hhhnnnggggg...#it physically pains me to think of not bringing him to the deep roads though it's so important to him and my hawke works so hard#to repair his relationship with his brother okay i max out carver's friendship every time and it's so worth it#you don't understand okay friendship carver is the best he's so goddamn sweet i can't handle it#it's actually so interesting how bethany and carver start out versus how they end because bethany starts out as the super sweet one#whereas carver's surly and bitter... but past act 1? it's like they flip?? at least on the warden paths like bethany is BRUTAL#she's so fucking bitter and rude and I love it?? like her relationship with hawke is in the trenches whereas carver's is vastly improved#again no matter your approval with him when you reunite in act 2 he will ALWAYS tell hawke that 'i'm sure you did your best'#referring to leandra's death but bethany's response will change depending on your approval with her#and if i remember right the rivalry response is OOF#carver and bethany turn me into a little giggling gremlin i love them so much
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!!! FLASHING LIGHTS WARNING!!! [IM NOT FUCKIN AROUND!!]
REACHED THE CUSP OF 'THIS MAY NEVER BE ABSOLUTELY FINISHED N IF I DONT SHOW IT NOW, IT WILL NEVER SEE THE LIGHT OF DAY.' SO HERE, A PROJECT IVE BEEN ORBITING AROUND UHH SINCE 2021 OR SO.
#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#jrwi riptide#gillion tidestrider#cw flashing lights#LOOORRD OF LIGHTNING SAAAAVE ME!!!!#RAAAHHHH I LOVETHIS SONG SO FUCKIN MUCH AND I LOVE GILLION SO FUCKIN MUCH RAAHHHH!! RAAHHHH!!!#BUT YES YES I HAD LIKE A WHOLE OTHER HALF TO THIS SKETCHED OUT BUT IT WONT FINISH COOKIN FOR A MILLION YEAARS!!!!#MAYBE SOMEDAY.....#ANYWAY. this is my first time actually syncing audio to my animations. normally i domnt know howww.#i animated it all in fire alpaca AND THEN i mixed everything in a pirated movie maker. it kinda uh. sucks. but its WHAT I GOT BAYBE!!#i relaly like how i animate swishy hair... i was inspird by eris from sinbad. i can only HOPE i got on that level w the watery flowyness#LIUGHTNING IS HARD TO ANIMATE TOO. I WATCHED ALOTTA VIDEOS ABSORBED MINIMAL TUTORIALS AND UHH I THINK I DID OKAY!!#better than bad!!! but i can still do better. eventually. ugh. FLASHING LIGHTS TOO HUH? U LIKE ANIMATINGB FLASHING LIGHT?#U LIKE MAKING THE BLACK N WHITE FLICKER RLY FAST UNTIL UR EYES BLEED OUT UR SKULL?? YEAAAHH YOU DO!!!#im also vry proud o the title cards i made at the beginning teheheheh. dependign on where riptide goes i MIGHT change it#BUT HEY THEORY TIME? I HOPE ONE OF THE GODDESSES COMES DOWN TO PILOT GILLIONS BODY SO THEY CAN BEAT THE FUCK OUT O THE OTHER GODDESS#WHO IS ALSO IN SOMEONE ELSES MORTAL BODY. GODS COMING DOWN TO WREAK HAVOC OVER PETTY DISAGREEMENTS OOOGH HOW FUN!!#GOOD ON YOU CHAMPION!! YOUR VESSEL HAS BEEN TRAINED TO BE STRONG AND HARDY. PERFECT FOR CHANNELING DIVINE ENERGY.#OHHHH WHAT A PERFECT WEAPON YOU ARE. NOW GO AND IMMANENTIZE A WATERY ESCHATON#PARAGON OF OCEANS WRATH I WANT TO SEE YOU DROWN THE LAND. DESTROY!!! EAT!!! BURN!!! RAAAGHH I NEED GILLION TO GET MORE POWER!!!!#ALSO in other news i uh. actually posted this onto twitter forever ago but forgot to post it here bc i can only post it from pc and BABY!!#IM NOT ON THE COMPUTER OFTEN! NOT ANYMORE!! NOT ANYMOREE!!! IM FREE BAYBE!! i used to be so miserable. sometimes i think abt that.#ANYWAY. pls enjoy. just this much took so long. i love makin the lil guys move.... ouh.... hava good day if u get the chance to.
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how we feeling about that ace lore drop from tilly guys…. (she cooked so hard)
#i’m so sick it’s so fucking good she cooked so hard#she devoted this to the fanfic girlies and the fanfic girlies only#legit i’ve been rereading it and UGH#aces father???? her mother????#steve being like her brother???#her being sexualized from a young age????#she’s everything to me forwver and ever#ace outsiders#the outsiders broadway#the outsiders musical#the outsiders#steve randle#two bit mathews
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that godforsaken drawing on the right was so hard and took me so long I might never color it so here you go
#Sol says they’re going to kill him. Karamatsu says he doubts that#his stupid outfit was so hard to draw i swear im never doing it again .#sketch took me like 3 days and 4 tries and this lineart took me like two days or so#they’re so fucking. ugh#Sol is a vampire Hunter for reasons that I talked about in another post and I like to think that karamatsu was just another random target#but uhm obviously things did not go as planned#I have more ideas for this AU but I never wanna look at his overcomplicated vampire outfit ever again#they hate each other. It’s awesome.#my art#ososan#karamatsu#vamp au#solkara#sol ososan#self insert#karamatsu matsuno#osmt#hesokuri wars#vampirematsu#i’m gonna self reblog this one like a bunch because yall don’t understand the pain that I went through trying to draw that stupid pose
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WE'RE GIRLFRIENDS. WE KISS AND STUFF.
#obey me#obey me shall we date#obey me nightbringer#obey me spoilers#obey me nightbringer spoilers#obey me nightbringer hard lesson 19-14#i know she said SOUL that one time#but every other time she referred to us my name#so we're official now#i don't care if she's not yet dateable#WE'RE OFFICIAL NOW K?!#mephisto is like ugh these fucking lesbians
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the ongoing transmisogyny situation on this website is becoming something that would be almost comical if it wasnt you know genuinely impacting the lives of marginalized people. ive been using tumblr for over a decade and i dont think ive ever seen this level of cartoonish incompetence and thin-skinned behavior from staff members much less the fucking ceo. get a fucking grip guys.
#i feel sometimes my attachment to this place is a bit of a sunk cost fallacy situation#its hard for me to imagine really moving anywhere else after all this time but idk!#and when i start thinking like that i cant help but think how insulting it would feel to have some guy obliterate my whole blog and fucking#scour my posts and pictures clear off the site for no fucking reason! and then lie about it!#fuck matt mullenweg fuck this culture of transmisogyny thats been allowed to go wildly unchecked on this site#just!! ugh! whatever!!!!!!#off topic#ungodly screeching
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saw your tags on the romance poll dudes edition, im curious how the iron bull romance in your brain differs from the in game one if you wouldnt mind sharing!
hey, thank you so much for the ask!! i'm happy to talk about it, though im not sure i'm going to be the best in wording it, lol
my biggest gripe with the iron bull romance that we have in canon is that i just think its... not pulled off very well. it feels clunky, and a fair bit of the dialogue is more cringe-worthy or red-flagy than it is romantic or hot. i just don't think there were enough moments where the inquisitor and bull sit down and talk about their dynamic for it to be a healthy one to me. they kind of just jump into it with a few vague warnings from bull and then another conversation after they hook-up for the first time. the inquisitor is also locked in as being submissive to bull– he canonically won't switch with the inquisitor and let them take charge because, "it's not what they need.". it feels... idk, icky? for that choice to be made for the inquisitor.
and then, of course, there is the oversexualization/fetishization of the qunari and the racial stereotypes we see attached to them throughout the series. i think making iron bull, the first romancable qunari in the series, have such a sex-focused romance was a mistake. just as i think having taash's romance in datv be the "spicest" is a mistake. no matter how it is written, i think was a mistake. just because iron bull is aware of the stereotypes doesn't mean the fact that he plays into them is written well, i guess is what i'm trying to say. we see this even when dorian and bull get together and their banter surrounding their relationship.
that all being said! the romance In My Brain has more time dedicated to setting up the terms of their dynamic and does not lock the inquisitor in as being submissive. i think there should be some sort of choice between it being strictly sex between bull and the inquisitor, or if it eventually shifts into something else. or even if they start off hooking up and it shifts to not having sex at all but still being in some form of relationship. i know the game is limited for what it can do for various reasons, but i'd like for there to be more choices! and more soft moments. bull actually has a lot of them, but i would like More. i would also like for there to be a proper conversation between the inquisitor and bull about why, exactly, he feels the need to consistently play up the overly sexual/aggressive/clueless persona he presents. or some sort of option to return the care he gives the inquisitor beyond just giving him the dragon necklace. idk! im yapping and im not sure how well im explaining it lol, i'm a better writer than i am an explainer. i just wish it was different
#ask#symphorine#i misread your user as sympherobrine at first.. herobrine in my inbox#dai#dragon age#dragon age inquisition#the iron bull#iron bull#iron bull-critical#the iron bull-critical#i guess?? idk#i want to kiss bull so bad but his romance icks me a lot#i hate how the qunari are written#“here is an entire group of people who are stereotyped to he brutish and violent and guess what. they dont love romantically but the fuck#and they fuck a lot and HARD.“ is. well. it sure is. ugh.#i love bull. but bioware sucks ass#bioware-critical#unfortunately due to how the game is i just find a lot of the romances to be kind of.. shallow? or lacking in some way? which is fine#i can just fill stuff in#but it feels especially ehhh with bull
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