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babiebom · 1 year ago

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What Kind of ~dere the bachelorette's would be

A/N:it's the girl's turn<3333 it took me 5ever to finish this for some reason. I'm only writing it now because i'm watching doctor who and need 2 different kinds of stimulation and i have no snacks tbh(doctor who started buffering so now im watching the little mermaid Im not trying to give play by play of me writing this but Im so hyped rn and its 2 in the morning)

TW: maybe some spoilers, maybe some cursing, idk yet nothing that bad! There is some brief mention of childhood trauma and abuse on Penny's part but nothing graphic.

Genre: Headcanons

WC: about 10 bullet points per person

Abigail

Hiyakasudere

Penny

Described as light-hearted and flirtatious, often mischievous and playful on the outside and constantly teases their loved one as a sign of affection.

Would playfully bully you to try and make her crush on you not obvious

Makes it painfully obvious to everyone but you

"This sunset is cool but you know whats cooler?" "What?" "My sword collection"

Probably smacks you when laughing

Smacks you when you do something funny

Laughs extra loud

"Lmao I'll fight you idiot"

You two probably get in trouble to playing around in serious situations

Invites you to the mines with her

Or to the woods past the wizards tower

You two probably get into trouble together and think its funny that you were attacked by slimes

Does make fun of you even when you get together

"Ew you have a crush on me that's so embarrassing"

Undere

described as a "yes-man" to their loved one no matter what the consequences are their devotion doesn't allow them to betray their loved one easily and is an extension of the Goudere characterization.

Leah

A Kekkondere

Which is described as some who believes in love at first sight and wants to get married right away. They have a deep desire to remain close to the person they meet for better or worse and this can sometimes evolve into them becoming a yandere type

So I could not choose which she fit more so I will try to fit everything within 20

I feel like due to her being a more submissive type in my mind that she would 100 percent be a yes man

Especially with a woman like Pam as her mother.

She has probably learned that disagreeing with her led to consequences that she does not enjoy.

So due to her childhood trauma she is more likely to just agree with whatever you say

And even if you try and get her to actually say her own opinion I don't think she fully grows out of it but it develops into a more shes a yes man because she feels safe.

Does not matter what will happen to her you are her main priority now so it is whatever you say goes because this is her fairy tale ending

On the other hand I think she is on par with us fanfic girlies on how delusional she is

Spends time constantly reading romance novels and imagining herself as the female love interest or heroine

So when she meets you and is immediately attracted to you

It turns into oh yeah this is love at first sight

This is meant to be because look at how i feel

This is like in the books I read

And she wants to get married very quickly

Brings it up maybe once at the beginning of your relationship

If you dont agree she doesnt say anything again

Just tries to manipulate you into marrying her quickly by doing wifey things

She will put it on you and make you wanna marry her

Will have you forever and ever just don't try to leave because she will enter yandere territory

Deredere(explained on Emily's part because I did hers first)

Honesty I thought none of these fit her thoroughly

Shes too....normal I guess?

At least to fit these categories

She's literally just an artsy girl i don't know

Like shes a creative but not delusional like Elliott so yandere is out of the question

Especially because her last relationship moved at a pace she disliked and was going to restrict her and what she wanted to do

So obviously shes not going to be the type of partner to hold you back in any aspect

But shes not going to let you run over her

Shes just a stable adult

Love that for her tbh

Could never be me where can I learn to become a Leah?

Emily

Deredere

Described as someone who is energetic, kind, and caring and while they show their affection to their loved one they can still hold normal relationships with others.

The sanest one here

Would not let herself get swept up in romance to the point of where its her whole life

There are other things she has to worry about

Like her sister, the wellbeing of all of her friends, being the chilliest woman on the planet

Emily tingz

Is the least likely to do something deranged because she knows that your relationship is stable and she doesn't need to do anything special

Because you love her for her and she loves you for you

Like yeah shes a weird(affectionate) person in general

But I also think she's the oldest out of the bachelorettes(hcs maybe?)

So she does have a clear head most of the time.

Amd she has probably been around and knows that she doesn't have to be crazy because trust is a good thing and luckily she has trust in you

Was probably insane in her younger years and its why shes chill now

Tbh overall a green flag

Maru

Hajidere

Haley

Described as someone shy and nervous around their crush and can socialize with anyone who is not them. Usually blushes or gets flustered at them making the first move

Gives me vibes like she will become super clumsy in front of you

And 100 times more socially awkward

Will stutter and trip over her words

Or drop things

Is the definition if the shy anime girl tbh

"O-oh Farmer! D-did you s-see that?"

I cringed writing that pls

Like it isn't very apparent in the game she just gives me these vibes

Especially because she does sort of go on about her sciencey stuff but i think that's just her being a nerd

I feel like she would be fine before she has a crush

But the second she realizes her feelings it becomes a problem

Obviously you notice but I think you would be too nice to say anything

Unless you're an Abigail type then ofcourse you say something

Becomes dumber the longer you are in her space because you're so attractive and now she cannot breathe

Mayadere

described as someone who is usually the antagonist who switches sides after falling in love with the main character. Usually first appears hostile or intimidating but a change of heart allows them to reveal their true feelings later on

Mostly this because I think she's a butch

But then she becomes cute after getting to know the farmer

Honestly I did not really like her and wanted to fight her up until I actually started gaining hearts with her

So I feel like this fits totally because like

She was the antagonist of my story at least

And she became cute and lovable the second she started feeling feelings

Like with one of her heart events

You literally take pictures with animals

She gets mud in her hair and doesn't even complain like

How she got me on her side Idk

Would probably be the type of girl to be like

Oh farmers here? And then very loudly say things like

"Oh yeah i could TOTALLY grow a few crops no big deal AT ALL"

"Did they hear it? You think they want me to move in yet? Do you think they're in love with me yet? Of course they are i'm Haley duh."

Not quite tsundere because she wouldn't do the whole "its not like I like you" thing

She would make it clear that she likes you but that she's the prize and not you

Sometimes is still hostile before she remembers she can let down her walls.

Its a journey to get her to say what shes actually thinking about certain things but you get there!

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utilitycaster · 1 month ago

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Would you be willing to share your thoughts about The Salt Grows Heavy if you've finished it by now? When I read it, I was left quite disappointed/it felt pretty lackluster to me on several points and I'm very curious about your opinion, especially beyond the prose style (I have a higher tolerance for purple prose than you, it seems, but at points it could get over the top imo. If I wanted to read flowery words that sound pretty when strung together, I'd read some poetry or a thesaurus and not a prose horror novella.)

So this is a little tough because when it comes to body horror, I tend to have to judge it on the Ebert “does it achieve what it’s intending to do” metric rather than “do I think it’s awesome” because I’m not very into body horror as a genre; either it grosses me out too much or, more often, I’m just like “was there a point to this other than trying to be shocking.” I do like retellings of fairy tales, and I do think the Little Mermaid often gets made too cute, though I think this swung the pendulum way too far in the other direction. I particularly enjoyed the relationship between the mermaid and the plague doctor, and found that the core of truth and real poignancy amid the rubbish of way too many adjectives. I also enjoyed the fact that the mermaid could regenerate, since explorations of immortality are very much my thing and since a lot of Little Mermaid Darker and Edgier retellings lean way more into how she is forever voiceless and hobbled by sacrifice; I like that she has far more power here.

I also came in with truly basement-level expectations because I was so put off by the writing style, so if you were coming in with a lot of hype, that might mean we felt the same but I was pleasantly surprised that it was OK and not awful, and you were disappointed that it was OK and not incredible.

If I can be a little dismissive, the book does seem geared towards the Cannibalism As Devotion Girlies and I find all that shit kind of tedious. Like live your truth and I know we are on the Cannibalism As Devotion/Loyal Like a Guard Dog website but actually I vastly prefer when people are independent and do not throw themselves on a pyre when their love dies; ironically the part of the story that interests me most (the ten years of figuring out how to bring back the plague doctor) gets skipped over. Which I get, because that’s not the story being told, but basically the whole time I’m like “I feel there’s a better story with these characters that didn’t have enough random gore in it for the author’s taste, and they are entitled to that taste, but it sure ain’t my taste.”

This probably doesn’t help you because the above is all extremely idiosyncratic which is why I’ve tried to stress that Khaw’s style is just not for me on a multitude of levels, and reserved my judgements beyond “boring to me specifically but that is just me.” I will say the final bit at the end is maddening (And in Our Daughters We Find A Voice) because it is written more sparingly and it’s MILES better as a result, although Khaw might be going for the contrast.

Would also add. Khaw uses "slants a look" (or occasionally "cranes a look" the way R.A. Salvatore uses "lavender orbs" and I WILL be slanting a look with my olivine orbs at the Laudna book for this phrase and keeping count, bc it's like, if you use this phrase once or twice it's whatever, it could even have an effect depending on context, but using it repeatedly is like. what does this achieve that saying "I look at him" doesn't? This isn't adding anything. I may have lost my attempt to maintain my stance of "it's just not really for me" here, but increasingly I feel like this is one of those writing styles that only impresses the kind of people who have gotten into impassioned arguments on Twitter about how YA and fanfic are the most valid forms of literature and all books for adults are just about middle-aged white people divorcing. The thing about embellishment is that if you use it constantly on everything it just becomes a literal and figurative drag.

#answered #Anonymous

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rememberwren · 18 days ago

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ok so I started reading an actual booktok romance book w smut just to see what it was like

it’s Coleen Hoover’s super popular book “it ends with us” that was recently made into a movie

I wanted to see if

1) her writing is as good/bad (depending on who you ask ofc) as everyone says it is

and

2) to see if it had smut and how it compares to the fan fiction I read everyday lol

so far, the writing has been okay 🤷‍♀️ not super exemplary, but not awful to read either

but the smut…..hoo boy

it definitely has smut…..but I think I’ve been spoiled by fanfiction because it only lasts a few seconds and is barely descriptive. He gives her no or very little prep every time, and he literally lasted like thirty seconds??

“He thrusts against me several times and then holds still, groaning into my mouth. He drops on top of me, tense, yet shaking.”

when you read this, keep in mind that he got inside her just two paragraphs before and then that was the end of the sex after that quote

so….yeah. maybe I’m just ruined forever after reading about cod men going for hours and rounds on end but the smut does not do it for me….or maybe it’s also bc I know the main male love interest (from the quote) ends up domestically abusing her, but….

maybe Colleen is just scared/nervous/uncomfortable writing smut, which I could understand! But then why include it at all? Maybe she’s only had short sex before, idk 🤷‍♀️ maybe booktok girlies are just chaste and have never read fanfic smut before but I desperately wanna hook one up to this app and make them read a dark fic or smut lmfao

— puppy teeth �� anon

I think the market for smut is just so particular, these more mainstream authors don’t want to devote themselves to it and risk their wider audiences. That being said, I did giggle a little at the thought of people finding that smut hardcore. We’ve dead some stuff that would make their hair curl. Or their toes.

#wren answers #puppy teeth anon

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arielgobuss · 10 months ago

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Hello, we have aready translated and added 5 new chapters of our Snarry ff "Desiderium Intimum" in english. We've also added almost all of 75 illustrations that has been created to our story 🥰 We plan to post 3-4 chapters a week, so the translation should be finished soon.

We wanted to share with you one of over 5000 comments we received to our story over the years, which is one of our favourite comment and amazingly sum up the whole story and the most important characteristic of our fanfic 🥰 Maybe it can let you have a brief idea about what to expect.

Comment by Wilczyca:

"This story is... substantial. I have never read something so well written, with such a narrative that the readers feel like they are standing right next to the characters, and it's all really happening, right in front of our eyes. No, it's not addictive, it sucks you in and makes you feel a need to read, read, read, forget about God's world, about the fact that you had to study, eat something, go to the toilet, and sometimes you even forget about breathing!

All the other Snarry fics are so... girly. What I mean is that Severus and Harry may have a bit of a quarrel there, but it ends very quickly and, true to a girl's sense of romance, they very quickly come to an agreement and head towards eternal happiness. Because it's so... good. Because everyone likes good endings and stories about reciprocated love. Because we were brought up in such a culture that basically everyone dreams about it. However, this romance shouldn't be easy, because there are too many differences between the characters for them to just get together and be happy. The second problem I noticed in other texts is that Snape is completely flat and does not behave at all like a thirty-something man who has had a hard time serving a psychopathic murderer. And this does not surprise me, because it is difficult to realistically portray such a character, it is difficult to empathize with him. Your Snape... is Snape-like. There is no sense of absurdity in your text, it's not read with a pinch of salt, it's not bus-reading and I think it makes an impression on the reader regardless of age, as long as they like such atmosphere. The narrative is absolutely amazing, Harry's stream of thoughts and feelings are described so smoothly and naturally that you feel as if you are thinking all these thought yourself, feeling all these feelings yourself.

Snape is so… frightening! Haha, that's the first thing that comes to my mind! He is also incredibly intelligent, mysterious, and sexy. At the beginning he is so aloof and closed off, but later, thanks to Harry's efforts, he opens up more and more, allows him to do more and more, and I really like how it was presented. Nothing changes too suddenly, it's 'transformation' occurs subtly and logically, the reader does not feel like there is a sudden jump. Snape is a very complex character and it's not easy to portray him, and I think no one has ever managed to do it like you did (not even Rowling xD)

Harry is absolutely delightful and disarming. At first I thought to myself; why is he so blinded, so naive and devoted?! But then I remembered that damn, he's only 17! And Severus is his first love. And basically his behavior reflects the idea of first, crazy, uncompromising love. Every scene of his fighting for Severus and trying to get closer to him is read with such warmth in the heart 😊

I also really like how Ron and Hermione are portrayed, but I like Luna even more. She is an extremely colorful and interesting character whose strangeness adds to her charm. Despite the fact that she seems to be constantly in the clouds, in between these strange behaviors she sometimes makes extremely accurate, hardheaded comments, and that's great!

The story is phenomenal as a romance, comedy, erotic and psychological text. Erotic scenes, even though there are so many of them, are very varied and there is no feeling of monotony. They are described in an extremely graphic way, with an emotional background and interesting poetic metaphors, which makes them very hot. When it comes to comedy scenes - I love your slightly mischievous and playful sense of humor! I'm sitting in the office and reading this, smiling like an idiot at the monitor and I just have to hold back with all my strength from bursting out laughing so as not to attract curious glances from other employees!

Love… well, love is always beautiful. But in your fic it's described in a wonderful, realistic and such sensitive way and blooms slowly like the most beautiful flower. Ultimately it overcomes all obstacles and changes an extremely mocking, mean person into… a slightly less mocking, mean man! But that's good, because if Snape suddenly became a cuddly mascot, the charm of this text would disappear forever xD

You can simply feel this text, I think you have great empathy, sensitivity, sense of humor, emotional maturity, and the ability to express it all with words. Each scene evokes great emotions.

Now that I've gone through the whole thing so pompously, at the end I wish you a long, happy life, lots of inspiration to write a thousand more Snarry pics and I suggest you start writing a novel with a world presented by yourself, because it will definitely win the Nobel Prize! Whatever you write, it will be great and I will definitely read it, even if you decided to read a book about planting beans xD I live in hope that I will soon see some new Snarry on the website or a sequel to Desiderium or a small miniature of your own creation! Good luck, girls! You guys have talent, I'll be damned if you don't!"

We want to thank all readers that's been with us for those 4.5 years of writing and helped us to finish the story and we hope that those, who haven't read it yet will love it too 🥰

Ariel & Gobuss

#desiderium intimum #snarry #ariel gobuss #harry potter #severus snape #snape/harry #snarry fanfic #hp fic

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riyuyami · 7 years ago

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celepom replied to your post “You guys really like that puzzle post I made today. :o I might have to...”

Would LOVE to see more. Maybe Yugi could commission/ get his publisher to hire Atem to do cover or promo art for the books? Fanartists sometimes get picked up because of their fanwork after all

I’ve got a great idea for this.

“You didn’t!”

“I did!”

“How could you betray me like this?!”

“Baby, it’s just one li’l commission, nothing too bad! Besides, it’ll totally bring in more people for the book signing! And come on, you like his art, you still won’t shut up about that painting in your living room.”

Yugi glanced over at said painting, the beautiful work of art that wasn’t suppose to be in the gallery last month, but was, and Yugi bought it on impulse... right in front of Atemu...

He turned back to his laptop screen, glaring daggers at the video image of his older sister, who was happily painting her nails a lovely shade of indigo. “Oh, don’t give me that look.” Mai scoffed, giving him a look of her own.

“Maaaaaiiiii...! I can’t just have you commissioning him all willy-nilly! He doesn’t even know I’m the author of Millennium World, he just thinks I’m some dorky fan who really likes Heba...” Which, wasn’t too far from the truth, considering that Heba was basically just a self-insert character, right down to the eye color and the golden necklace he wore around his neck that the character also wore.

“Yugi, as your publisher, it is my job to get your business and to sell your books. And as your big sister, I have ever right to play match-maker with you and your neighbor.”

“You sound like Anzu!” Yugi groaned, rubbing his face. “She’s been trying to get me to hang out with Atemu for weeks now, and I keep saying something is keeping me busy, or I only join him out on the town if someone else is with us. There is only so much I can bribe Bakura with to be a third wheel...”

Mai sighed loudly. “Well, whatever the case, he gladly accepted the commission.”

“WHAT?!” Yugi screeched, wincing when he banged his knee under the table in his reaction. “You already set up the commission?! Without consulting me?!”

“I did consult you. I asked you what you wanted in a new promotional image, and you told me everything in detail. So I copy-pasted the message to an e-mail and sent it to him.” Mai laughed. “It was that easy, baby. Come on, don’t you want his pretty art being seen? Advertising the newest volume of the book? The one everyone’s been dying to read?”

Yugi sighed loudly, yes, this was the big book, the one that Yugi’s been building up to for so long... the arranged wedding of the pharaoh and what it will do to his relationship with his most devoted scribe...

He had told Mai that what he would love for a poster for it, is an image of Heba when he leaves the throne room, after having to be forced to write the proclamation of the wedding of Atem and the foreign princess, with a distraught Atem calling out to him. It was an image Yugi had wanted for the book series for so long, he wanted something bold, dramatic, cliche, to catch the reader’s attention!

It wouldn’t be the cover, obviously, seeing as he always just went with simple, yet eye catching covers for the books. But this picture would be in the book, that’s what he wanted, and it he had told Mai it would be great to show at the book signing in two months for the previous and the latest books.

But he had told her all of this the other night, drunk on some box of wine that Anzu gave him after she got it from her dancer friends. Uhg, this is why he didn’t drink, he had a problem of opening his mouth and never closing it. Well, in this case, he typed up everything he said, but he was still talking while he typed, like he always did, so it counted.

Glancing at the wall, the one that separated the apartment from his neighbor’s, Yugi turned back to the laptop. “He doesn’t know it’s me, right?”

“No, I used your author name. He still has no idea who you are. Though at this point, I think it’s pretty damn obvious. You don’t exactly hide anything in your apartment.” Mai replied, seeing the powers for the book covers on the wall.

“That was Anzu’s doing, you know she’s my biggest supporter.” And she is, which is great, but did she really had to frame all the cover art... now he felt embarrassed.

“Baby, don’t worry so much, okay? Your favorite sister has this all covered!” Mai smiled as she typed something on her laptop. “If there are any problems, I’ll handle them.”

“Well... alright, thanks Mai.” Yugi smiled at her, before jumping at the very loud shout from the apartment next door, followed by someone screaming ‘shut the fuck up’.

Getting up, Yugi opened the sliding glass door to his balcony, seeing Atemu happily do the same, the biggest grin on his face as he looked at Yugi. “Yugi! You’re not gonna believe this!”

“W-what?” Yugi blinked, raising an eyebrow at the eccentric man who fumbled with his glasses, and his hair. He looked like he just woke up, but then again, it is about nine in the morning so...

“I’ve been commissioned to do art for Millennium World! Can you believe it? My favorite author has asked me to do art for his book series, especially the new one! I can’t say what it is, since it’s a spoiler, the book isn’t out yet, but it’s just like how I imagined it going down! It’s like those fanfics we were talking about the other night, only real!”

Yugi’s cheeks burned red as he looked at how happy the artist was, the man clutching his phone to his chest. He looked... like the whole world was perfect in this moment and Yugi couldn’t help but feel his heart skip a beat. The smile on Atemu’s face was too good for this world, like that annoying cinnamon roll meme that Honda kept using to describe Yugi with a few years back, it was... nice.

“I’m so happy for you!” Yugi finally spoke. “That’s amazing, I can’t believe he commissioned you! Oh, wait, I can, your art is great! It’s so beautiful, you’ll totally make the art come to life!”

“Heh, thank you, I mean... I’ve seen some way better artists out there, but thank you, Yugi, that means a lot to me for you to say that.” Atemu replied, his grin softened into a smile as he looked at the other man, before something flew out of the open door of Atemu’s apartment, just missing the red-haired man’s head by mere inches.

“Get your gay ass back in here!” Bakura yelled from inside. “I just lost a People magazine, now you gotta get me a new one! And make breakfast, since you so rudely woke me and Marik up with your girly scream!”

Atemu sighed loudly, flipping off the door, before looking at Yugi. “Sorry, I bet you heard that scream.”

“Heh, it’s alright, you’re excited, it’s understandable.”

The other nodded. “Well, I best get the king his breakfast, before he throws something of mine out into the streets. Talk to you later? Maybe... over coffee today? I’d love to talk to a fellow reader to help me get into the right mindset to start work on this.”

Yugi’s face burned even more and he dumbly nodded. “S-sure, how about at noon...! At Duke’s place?”

“Great, it’s a date!” Atemu lowered his glasses, winking at Yugi, before going back inside, muffled shouts coming from behind the glass.

Stumbling, Yugi went back into his apartment and closed the door, leaning against the glass. He let out a loud, heavy sigh, and slid to the floor, his heart beating so loud and hard in his chest.

“I take it that he got my latest e-mail? About you agreeing to have him do the art?”

Blinking, Yugi looked over at his laptop, seeing Mai’s smug expression on the screen. He stuck his tongue out at her as he stood up. “Oh shush, I would have said yes eventually. Now if you excuse me, I’ve got a... a d-date to get ready for...!”

“Sure, baby, you’re welcome.” Mai grinned before she ended the call.

#celepom #yugioh #puzzleshipping #yugi mutou #Atem #atemu #mai kujaku #john's drabbles #in plain sight

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parentsperspectivetest · 7 years ago

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Original article can be found here

“Thomas the Tank Engine had to shut the hell up to save children everywhere”

So, this is, effectively, the title of this piece. It was written around the time Martin T. Sherman, the voice of Thomas since 2009, quit his job due to a salary dispute and this is what the title is referring to. I’ll give that it’s fairly attention-grabbing (it made me read the damn thing), though I can’t ignore that it’s also clumsily worded and deceptive. Sherman did not quit his job to “save children everywhere”, (nor did his departure slow the success of the franchise, if I’m honest) he quit his job because the company refused to pay him the amount he sought and felt was apropos for the growing popularity of the franchise. He made it quite clear in the follow up of this development that he lamented having to leave the show and blames HiT entertainment for their lack of professionalism, not the Thomas franchise itself (which he still seems to admire for the very themes Van Slyke will go on to criticize); “I find it ironic,” Sherman said, “that most of the shows that Hit Entertainment puts out are about worlds where good people get rewarded, justice happens, and bad things happen to bad people. They themselves don't live up to that world in any way.”

What’s more, Van Slyke only takes the first few sentences of this piece to comment on Sherman’s departure, yet she’s using it as the pulling point to read her article. Already she’s put herself in a less-than reputable position for capitalizing on a very disappointing moment in an actor’s career, while simultaneously refusing to expand on it past its attention-grabbing potential.

My son, now three-and-a-half years old, thankfully never never went through a manic train fascination like so many other children. But once in a while, he'd get a bug in his brain to watch Thomas, and every time I sat and watched with him, I winced and groaned almost as much as Percy.

We have to commend Van Slyke on her heroic amount of patience to sit down and watch something her child enjoys despite the lack of personal entertainment she might find in his choices (such is the life of a preschool parent). That does seem to be the accolade she’s seeking, along with one for her child that he “never went through a manic train fascination like so many other children”. Evidently Van Slyke Jr. is already on the path to moral sainthood and social enlightenment nirvana just like his mother. I’m sure his being spared the Thomas fascination (as the spawn of the rest of us peons so often fall prey to) was just a happy coincidence, a result of his superior breeding and not due to a controlling parent that upholds the values of fascist-like censorship in the household.

When I heard the news this week, that the voice actor behind Thomas's incessant whinging quit the series because he was underpaid, I remembered all of the reasons that I cut my kid off from the show in the first place.

Having read this article already I can promise you that Van Slyke does nothing to connect Sherman’s departure from the show with her reasons for banning Thomas and his steam engine friends from her morally pure, socially enlightened household (begs the question why she had to “cut [her] kid off” from a show that she claims he never really cared for anyway). This makes one wonder why a contract dispute between an actor and a company made Van Slyke remember her own desperate reaching. I’m going to guess that the news simply gave her relevant leverage to alert everyone to her own parental martyrdom- after all, what is an act of heroism if there’s no one there to pat you on the back for it/and or feel inadequate in comparison?

Thomas and those friends are trains that toil away endlessly on the Isle of Sodor – which seems to be forever caught in British colonial times –

This odd little non-sequitur continues to haunt me. While I won’t deny the given fact that the rest of Van Slyke’s points in this article are varying levels of ridiculous, this assertion that the comings and goings on the Island of Sodor are like that of British colonial times is a special kind of strange. What colonial period in British history is Van Slyke referring to? In my US-centric mind I immediately think of our 1700’s colonial period, but that, for obvious reasons, is completely inapplicable. I looked deeper into it and realized oh, of course, British imperialism, how could I forget? “The sun never sets”, the time with India and all of that. And yet...literally nothing about the world of Thomas alludes even indirectly to imperialism or the colonial period (of any country’s history), so far as I can see. Of course, Van Slyke doesn’t mention this again, much less explain where and how she came to this conclusion. Maybe she’s thinking of Misty Island and how Topham Hatt basically helped himself to it after the discovery of the Logging Locos. And, yet, he didn’t really at all. Crash, Bash and Ferdinand pretty much continue on their island as usual and TH occasionally appeals to them for Jobi wood, which they’re happy to provide. Sometimes they come and help out on Sodor which, again, they’re happy to do. Seems like a pretty symbiotic relationship to me. The point is moot, anyway, because I’m willing to bet serious money that Van Slyke is basing this entire op-ed piece off of two or three haphazardly watched episodes from the dismal 15th or 16th seasons and has no idea the Misty Island/Logging Locos thing even exists.

It should be noted, ‘colonialism’ is one of those shock-factor buzzwords people sometimes throw into an argument to make something sound worse and more socially irresponsible than it is, whether it actually applies to the object in question or not (it usually doesn’t).

For one, these trains perform tasks dictated by their imperious, little white boss, Sir Topham Hatt (also known as The Fat Controller)...basically, he's the Monopoly dictator of their funky little island. Inevitably, the trains get in a fight with or pick on one another (or generally mess up whatever job they are supposed to be doing) until Hatt has to scold one of them about being a "really useful engine", because their sole utility in life is their ability to satisfy his whims. Yeah, because I want to teach my kid to admire a controlling autocrat.

Where I will -half heartedly and with much reluctance- concede to understand the point is the troubling nature of the steam engines’ sentience and their devotion to working without pay. There have been nights I, too, have laid wide awake wondering at the moral responsibility of this in a children’s show...and then I remember that we’re watching a show about steam engines. Locomotives. Literally, working and performing tasks is what they were built to do and this doesn’t change just because they’ve been made sentient for the sake of telling a story (how boring would the show be if the engine characters didn’t have personalities just to avoid any allegories to slavery? The show would instead have to be about humans and that defeats the whole purpose of Thomas entirely- unless the show were like my human au fanfic where all the engine characters are, instead, human...but I digress). To the franchise’s credit in this respect, they make it pretty clear that the engines are usually given the choice of whether or not to go work where they get slated to work (in terms of location, like Thomas got to choose to come work on Sodor, Victor received the same offer, when Hiro wanted to leave and go back to Japan he was permitted to do so without argument- even in the very early stories when Topham Hatt first goes and gets Percy, he asks him if he’d like to work for him). Yes, there are the occasional complaints, but such is true in most jobs. The concept of, ‘you don’t always get to do the jobs you like’ is a very universal truth of life and prevalent in Thomas, however bitter a pill that is to swallow for those living in idealistic dream worlds (as I suspect Van Slyke is).

Van Slyke is also wrong in that the steam engines’ “sole utility in life is their ability to satisfy [Topham Hatt’s] whims”. Sir Topham, for all the villain that he apparently is, is as much bound to the duties and obligations of the Sodor economy as the rest of his fleet. Yes, it is true he tasks them with the personal missions of transporting his mother, family members and so on, but most of the jobs we see the engines tasked with are public transportation and shipment of goods- much the opposite of Topham Hatt’s whims.

But, really. If you take honest personal offense with steam locomotives being used for their constructed purpose, I really don’t know what to tell you. Take the protest to an actual railway, I guess.

James is mortified that he has to travel while pink and proceeds to hide from all the other trains along the way. When he's caught, the other trains – including Thomas – viciously laugh and mock him.

Van Slyke is speaking now of the episode where James is tasked with picking up Topham Hatt’s granddaughter while covered in his pink undercoating. James is vain (which Van Slyke also naturally takes issue with- a bit ironic, considering) so he feels embarrassed to have to tool around Sodor while painted such a silly color, a color that is inherently feminine, Van Slyke will later attest: “You think a little boy watching Thomas is going to file away the lesson that pink is OK for boys? No, what kids remember is that James was laughed at, cruelly, over and over again, because he looked different and was clad in a "girly" pink color.” “Girly” is not a label that any of the trains place on James, even during their “vicious mocking” (vicious for Van Slyke apparently equates to good-natured, mild ribbing between friends at the expense of all-too fragile ego) but rather one that Van Slyke invents on account of the fact that Topham Hatt’s granddaughter happens to like pink. Van Slyke’s logic is infallible, folks: if one girl likes pink, then they all must like pink right? What’s more, the fact that girls like pink must indeed be why the engines thought James looked silly and not because, as is evidenced in the episode itself, being that shade of pink means an engine is only half-painted (the steam engine equivalent of moving around in one’s underwear) or that, as an undercoating, this particular shade of pink looks flimsy and dull and unremarkable. No, no, Van Slyke insists, the explanation just couldn’t be that simple.

I think we also need to commend Van Slyke on knowing exactly what each and every child is going to take away from this episode- which is, without a doubt, the fact that pink is not okay! It’s not for boys! Despite the fact that by the end of the episode James accepts his pink proudly because it made someone happy and he doesn’t care what anyone thinks of him, even if they do continue to poke fun. What a terrible message for children.

(For the record, all the "villains" on Thomas and Friends are the dirty diesel engines. I'd like to think there was a good environmental message in there, but when the good engines pump out white smoke and the bad engines pump out black smoke – and they are all pumping out smoke – it's not hard to make the leap into the race territory.)

No, it’s not hard at all, not when you’re explicitly looking for a white versus black allegory, to the point that you’re more than willing to invent one. Once again, Van Slyke’s ignorance of this franchise shows; only two of the many diesels in the show have ever been portrayed as villains and not even entirely shameless or irredeemable ones at that. Diesel is shown to have a heart when he goes to great lengths just to make some school children happy, Diesel 10 (for as Snidely Whiplashian as he can be) only ever acts of malice when he wants equal treatment for the diesels, which he always gets in the end when he makes amends. Most of the time the antagonist role either falls to one of the steam engines or, in the most recent film, Legend of the Lost Treasure, an old white guy. A white guy, Van Slyke! A white old guy who was, without a doubt, one of the most irredeemable and shameless villains the franchise has ever produced (in canon- let’s not forget the ill-fated PT Boomer that was cut from the final version of The Magic Railroad, another old white guy villain though I’m not sure if he counts).

Also, steam engines don’t pump out smoke, they pump out steam (the clue is in the name, Van Slyke, come on). Diesel engines puff out exhaust. If an engine or a diesel were pumping out smoke something would be seriously wrong so, no, they are not “all pumping out smoke”. (Also, there technically is no such thing as “white smoke”)

It’s rather unbelievable how adamantly opposed Van Slyke was to doing any research into any of this whatsoever, despite feeling this article deserved publishing. The future of journalism, everyone.

And that's not even to get started on the female trains. Well, actually it's hard to get started on them, because they barely exist. Take a quick scan of the more than 100 trains and characters in the Thomas universe – it spans multiple books, toys and continents in addition to a TV show – and you can quickly count on two hands the number of lady trains that populate is Isle of Sodor. Emily – the only lady train to get name checked in the opening credits and the only one who regularly hangs out with the boy trains – is said to "know her stuff." That's the sole description of her personality. What does that even mean?

I imagine it means exactly as is written on the packaging, that Emily is knowledgeable about her job. Is that really so hard of a blank to fill in, Van Slyke? The other male engines don’t get much better descriptions in this roll call song either, for whatever that’s worth (apparently nothing). In fact, I personally think Henry and Toby are the ones that get the bum deal as their only character description in this song is “toots and huffs and puffs” and “well, let’s say, he’s square”, respectively. At least Emily’s lyrics give us some insight, however shallow, into her character’s personality. Since Van Slyke is so good at making leaps, I’m gonna go out on a limb here and guess that if all the main characters had been made female her critique would be that their 2 second description line in a roll call song was too vague, because characterization in the actual show means nothing in the wake of a minute long theme song. Apparently.

Now, I do have to give that the female presence in Thomas was sorely lacking for awhile. Yes, even in the first few books the cast is entirely male! What Van Slyke doesn’t mention is the effort the franchise has made to introduce more and more varied, colorful female characters to the line up; Marion, the endearing, upbeat, talkative steam shovel with a very active imagination; Caitlin, the lively streamlined engine that can best the speed of the fastest engines on Sodor; Mavis, the stern, matronly diesel engine that even the most fearsome engines on the island fear and respect; Belle, the powerful but kind fire engine that everyone admires (just to name a FEW) and that says nothing of the incoming swath of female characters being introduced in The Great Race later this year. Last year, we saw the airing of “The Best Engine Ever” which features Emily and Caitlin deriving strength from one another and turning envy into a respectful friendship while realizing their own individual talents and merits (not to be left out is Marion’s cameo encouragement for Emily to be proud of herself and lift her metaphorical shovel high). This 10 minute episode did better at responsibly writing female characters and their relationships than most hour long adult shows I’ve seen recently.

What I can’t agree with is the assertion that the show is somehow undeserving and lacking in any other value just because the male cast outnumbers the female. The fact that Van Slyke ignores all the things the show does right with the female characters, however small in number, makes this probably the weakest way someone could’ve brought the argument forward. Such can be said of the rest of this article.

When it comes to female characters with regard to feminist ideals quality is always more important than quantity- after all, what good is an entire cast of female characters if they’re all bland and stereotypical and one-dimensional?

Last year, the British Labour shadow Transportation Secretary even called out Thomas for its lack of females, saying that the franchise setting a bad example for girl wannabe train engineers everywhere.

Though this is one of the only times Van Slyke makes an effort in this article to back up her sources (the first being, simply, the article about Sherman’s departure from the show) she still completely disregards Mary Creagh’s mention of a whole host of other children’s shows that are also, in her opinion, falling behind in female representation. Creagh also commends the Thomas franchise for having “wonderful stories”, something that was suspiciously left out of this mention. Gee, I wonder why Van Slyke so conveniently skims over that part and otherwise colors Creagh as bitter about the Steam Team as she is? For that matter, why would the Transportation Secretary go to the trouble of trying to improve a show that was just an irresponsible, irredeemable garbage heap, like Van Slyke so desperately wants us to believe Thomas and Friends is? She also neglects to mention the part of the article where HiT entertainment weighs in: “Hit Entertainment, the company which owns the rights to Thomas & Friends, admitted there was a "historical imbalance", but said more female engines are "in development". A spokesman said: "Every engine has a job to do whether that's hauling materials aroudn the Island of Sodor or pulling passengers - gender is irrelevent."

And so it should be. When we start valuing characters more for their decided gender identity rather than the quality of their writing, the integrity of the story and the character falls apart, making it meaningless whether they’re male or female or otherwise. Either way, they’ll still be shoddy.

At first blush, Thomas and his friends seem rather placid and mild. And there are certainly a lot worse shows in terms of in-your-face violence, sexism, racism and classism. But looks can be deceiving: the constant bent of messages about friendship, work, class, gender and race sends my kid the absolute wrong message.

I suppose it depends on what your definition of ‘wrong’ is. Let’s briefly dissect each of these themes into how they pertain to the show, according to someone who is actually familiar with the Thomas universe:

Friendship: No, this is not a show where all the engines are consistently sweet and patient and generous with each other, like in some children’s programming. To do so would mean to water down the Thomas characters to the point of unrecognizability, to make them bland and one-dimensional and boring just in the name of being inoffensive. It wouldn’t make sense for a character like Gordon, for example, to be nice and sweet all the time. Gordon is a haughty, serious, but secretly vulnerable engine that takes a lot of pride in his abilities. To be kind and friendly, to him, means weakness and so he often employs defense mechanisms in the form of boasting, bragging, teasing, etc. For this reason, it’s all the more satisfying when he does humble himself, when he shows avid concern for his friends, when he defends their honor. Gordon is an interesting, well-rounded, well-written character because of his pride, because he’s also an extremely loyal friend with a soft underbelly. The fact that the characters are so layered and unique and well-written is something that sets Thomas apart from many other children’s shows where supporting characters have a tendency to be interchangeable, flat, forgettable, more prop than character...mostly because they always agree, are always sweet to their friends and lack vital conflict. Personally, I’d rather my son see examples of well-written characters at an early age than bland character after bland character just to shield him from the very natural personality conflicts people run into with each other in real life, even with their friends. This kind of complex writing shouldn’t just be reserved for adult-oriented shows. What’s important is that, in the end, Thomas and his friends find ways to work around their differences and continue being amicable. To me, that’s more helpful for developing children and their sense of relationships with people than an unrealistic ideal of everyone being sweet and considerate all the time.

Work/Class: Van Slyke has already made it pretty clear to this point that she doesn’t appreciate the kind of work ethics that Thomas is promoting. She also doesn’t appreciate that Sir Topham exercises his perfectly legal right to have his engines transport him for personal outings. How dare he be a successful businessman, I guess? How dare he use his steam powered locomotives for exactly what they were built to do! He should just let them run freely out in the track-less fields! (I’m trying to play along, Van Slyke, I really am) While I can sort of understand taking issue with the blind loyalty to the boss thing (and I certainly take my own halfhearted issue with Sir Topham’s lack of professional boundaries in the live action snippets with Perkins- seriously, dude, you were hired as an engine driver, why are you making cakes for this guy? Babysitting his mother’s parrot? Putting on magic shows for him?) I still don’t really agree that caste systems and class discrepancies on Sodor really even play that big of a part. As far as the humans are concerned, Sodor seems to have a thriving economy with a strong middle class. The ‘rich’ characters, the few that there even are, are never depicted treating anyone as inferior or even getting that much more privileges. It bears mentioning that the Earl of Sodor, Sir Robert, only ever takes public transport (apart from his first appearance, in which he seemed pretty uncomfortable in Spencer’s coach), always hangs out with the locals (even rallies and tailgates with them before a soccer match), and made his castle open to the public, for everyone to enjoy. Again though, I don’t think Van Slyke bothered to watch King of The Railway or anything past the handful of episodes that so deeply offended her, so she’s blissfully unaware of the facts outside her own echo chamber. Engine-wise, no one is ever above doing menial tasks. Even Spencer, the private engine of the Duke and Duchess, is occasionally given railway jobs like being a back engine or helping to transport freight. I don’t see the alleged glorified class discrepancy in Thomas, but then again I’m not reaching for it with my football field length pole either.

Gender: For someone like Van Slyke who believes that a feminist narrative is only as good as the amount of female characters rather than the quality of their writing, Thomas is indeed a disappointing show. It really doesn’t matter that the female cast is ever expanding, that each of the lady characters are unique and strong and endearing in their own way, it only matters that there’s simply not enough female character filler to fulfill her arbitrary quota, I guess. For someone that likes to see well-written, important female characters with no specific concern to the exact number, Thomas is a great show. There’s strength and pluck to be found in all of them, along with the same flaws that all of the male characters have too. They’re all factoring in more prominently to the plots, taking on the same tasks as the boys, and are often even seen as smarter and more capable than. Thomas and Friends deserves every accolade for what they’ve been doing to add a female presence and Van Slyke really has no room to be commenting one way or another as Emily seems to be the only female character she’s aware of.

Race: It really takes a special sort of person to find race issues in a show that focuses on steam locomotive characters with grey colored faces but, god bless her, Van Slyke has defied the odds. To put it plainly, the engines do not have assigned races (nationalities, sure, but that’s not the same thing)- and if, for some reason, they do and I missed it, it literally plays no role in how the engines are treated or how they treat each other. As Van Slyke briefly mentioned through that rather silly allegory about the ‘smoke’, there are tensions between the diesels and the steamies (though it’s almost non-existent in the more recent episodes and movies, as the diesels and the steamies seem to get along fine). This is not a race thing, not even in metaphor; it’s a result of the natural progression of diesel engines replacing steam-powered locomotives, a thing that happened in real life. This is something of a moot point anyway because, as stated previously, Sodor has achieved some kind of peaceful, amber-stasis utopia where time doesn’t move in a productive way and the steamies and diesels coexist without much incident anymore.

Listen, I firmly believe a parent is well-within their rights to choose the best programming for their child. A parent is perfectly entitled to not like some of the shows their children do. A parent is also allowed to decide that a certain show or movie or game or toy etc is not conducive to how they’re choosing to raise their child and keep their child from being exposed to that thing. My motive here is not to deny Van Slyke her right as a parent, but rather to challenge her weak, publicly-posted argument that Thomas is a poorly written, irresponsible narrative that encourages things like racism and sexism just because she doesn’t like it.. The fact that she would drum up such an argument with so little of an understanding for how the Thomas universe works is offensive in and of itself.

There are many good, valid reasons not to like something, even Thomas. This article doesn’t present any of them.

And really, that theme song makes me scream. Thomas can just go bust my buffers.

Ah, there it is.

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bellringermal · 7 years ago

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I have a low key headcanon that gherman used to craft things like dolls in his spare time before the hunters workshop perhaps as a means to make extra money, albeit smaller ones for children, which explains why he made such a lifelike doll so easily and maybe even why he's good at making clothes and weapons for hunters

Daisy and I have a pretty similar headcanon :)

Gehrman was always fascinated by small, pretty things since childhood. He used to cut figurines from newspapers and make little toys out of straw and scraps of clothing that he then had to keep hidden in a box under the floorboards because his father would’ve considered them girly and infantile.

[Pic from “Andersen. Zhizn bezlyubvi” because obscure period dramas are my jam. And if you read some of my posts before, you probably know that my fan fiction, from which 90% of my lore theories stemmed from, is a massive mixture of period dramas/gothic novels/historical figures’ biographies and even fucking Tchaikovsky ballets that I like very very VERY much.)

He hadn’t the worst childhood ever, but it was tough for a scrawny, quiet boy like him to be forced into combat training at such a young age. When he got hired at Byrgenwerth (and escaped his father’s clutches, so to speak) he could finally do whatever the heck he wanted in his free time and Dores and Edmund, being respectively a scholar and a handyman, encouraged his love for books and for tinkering with anything within range.

In our story, Master Willem selects his students and assistants because of their special talents and is (to an almost unbelievable level :P) able to ‘see greatness’ in them even before said greatness manifests. Willem is, to put it simply, a talent scout :P That is why he often recruits extremely young people like Caryll (9) and Micolash (14) only to then groom them into loyal students while enhancing their innate abilities.

With Gehrman, it was no different. And when many of his ‘hobbies’ became an integral part of his job, he began to take them really seriously and actually devoted entire years of work and research to the development of the spring mechanisms that made trick weapons possible and basic hunting gear, reason why all future hunter uniforms are based on that first model that he made out his own everyday clothes. When asked about his profession, he doesn’t see himself as a ‘weaponsmith’ but as ‘something more akin to a clockmaker’.

He obviously has his own (quite creepy) collection of little dolls and carillons but he keeps it in his room reason why not many of his students are aware of it, just like they don’t know about his secret stash of cheap romance novels :P. The rough instruments of death that he crafts at the workshop with Archibald’s assistance are in stark contrast with the delicate clockwork toys that are found on his desk next to the tiny tools and watchmaker magnifying glasses.

[Pics from “Nutcracker the motion picture” 1986]

Lil extract from my fanfic below the cut because I think I’m getting decent at translating this crap XD

[Picture from ‘Crimson Peak’. Thomas Sharpe lil workshop in the attic. It’s a trope and I love it.]

As she looked around, Maria could see that that wasn’t the workplace of an amateur. Screwdrivers, pincers and labeled boxes brimming with bolts and stain springs of any size filled the dustless shelves of cedar wood as two big oil lamps lit the quiet, humble room of the First Hunter uniformly projecting their glow on the desk. The floral wallpaper was almost completely hidden by three huge cork boards covered in blueprints and heavy metal chains ran down from the ceiling just like they did in the actual Workshop. But instead of dangling siderite blades, what floated over the noblewoman’s head were cogs as big as those she has seen on the pedestal of the Lunarium’s telescope.

It was then that she remembered that Gehrman was also asked to keep the elevator at the edge of the woods in working order so that students could get from Yharnam’s outskirts straight to the college without venturing too far into the forest.

How many tasks was that man assigned to, again? Hunter Chief, groundskeeper, weaponsmith, handyman… Master Willem better be paying him generously, she thought as she wondered if her teacher’s room was always that organized and clean or if he had tidied it up for the occasion.

No matter the answer, it felt like something WAS out of place. Actually, it felt like something was missing. As she scanned the shelves, one in particular caught her eye. Like the others, it was perfectly clean but instead of harboring meticulously organized tools and parts it was empty except for one small, bizarre shiny thing that Maria mistook for a golden egg at first glance. She took the weird object in her hands only to discover a small key inserted in its round side. A wind-up toy? She herself owned a few of those when she was little, one had the shape of a carousel and its curtains lifted once the key was turned, revealing a row of tiny running horses. What was hidden inside that golden egg? A mechanical goose, perhaps? She knew the fairytale by heart.

Won by her own curiosity and without even asking herself why stern old Gehrman would even possess such a thing, she turned the key three times, balancing the egg on the palm of her gloved hand. When the mechanism clicked, she realized that something was not working as intended since the petals in which the golden-finished surface was split into could barely move. Perhaps it was broken, or some parts were missing. Still, the tiny clockwork prisoner trapped inside the shell kept bouncing and clicking inside the egg, almost begging to be freed. She gently pressed upon the tip, parting the petals with her thumbs as a twinkling sound filled the silent room with a familiar tune. It was the central portion of a folk song often sang during weddings and Spring celebrations. Finally free from its golden shell, a graceful female figure now danced on the huntress palm. The little automata was unpainted and naked, clearly unfinished, with only a ribbon tied around her metal torso, probably marking her waist point before a dress could be made for her. Her hair was cast in copper, each lock finely chiseled.

Gehrman snatched the toy from her fingers before she could even realize he had entered the room. How did she remain oblivious to his presence for so long, she didn’t know, but the entrancing dance of the little figure was most likely to be blamed.

“I-it’s not finished! Don’t look at it!”

“Have you made it?” She asked with a smile, seeing how he cradled the little thing in the cup of his large, bony hands. “It’s lovely. I am no expert, but it looks really well made.”

He nervously brushed the back of his head “Well… thanks.”

“I didn’t know you were into such cute little things. It… suits you. Somehow.” The ballerina was still spinning on her pointy feet when the First Hunter placed the carillon on the shelf and turned to the desk.

“Have you brought your gun, Maria? Let me see what’s wrong with it.”

She blinked. She had almost forgotten why she came to the hunter’s room in the first place. “Oh, yes I believe the flintlock is broken. Or at least parts of it.“

“Let me see it.” She handed the Evelyn to her teacher, but her attention was still on the little doll. “Have you made more of these?” She asked as the mechanism came to a stop and the ballerina froze in place, her body tilted in a slightly unnatural position.

“Of what?”

Maria raised an eyebrow, unamused. “Wind-up toys, Gehrman.”

The silver screwdriver he was using to remove the flintlock from the beautiful wooden frame of the Cainhurst gun shook between his fingers, but a warm smile appeared on his lips. “It’s a guilty pleasure of mine.”

Maria rested her back against one of the shelves “Why ‘guilty’? I know people that would pay a fortune for stuff like this.”

“I guess I could devote myself to it once I retire. If I don’t get killed first.” “Gehrman’s toyshop, mh? Doesn’t sound bad. You could make tiny stain hunters and beasts that open their jaws and roar. I used to steal my cousin’s stain soldiers and wooden swords. Why do boys always get the better toys?“

“Not fond of your dolls, I presume.”

“I had so many, but truly cherished only one of them, Janice, a brunette. She was engaged to one of Ghislain’s stain officers even if she was almost three times his size. Perhaps he went to war because he was afraid of her.”

Gehrman chuckled, as his capable hands carefully replaced the gun’s splinter “I’m not sure about that, as our dear Konrad proves, some men really like their women tall.”

Maria sat down on the desk next to him to watch him work, oblivious to the sudden blushing of his cheeks now that her well-toned thighs were so close to his elbow.

“Janice really looked a bit like Gratia now that I think about it. Now… why don’t you tell me where you hid all your other creations? That empty shelf is really suspicious, you know?” She teased him, crossing her legs.

It was in moments like that that Gehrman questioned his own judgemental skills. Was she truly flirting with him or was it all just wishful thinking?

He snapped out of confusion bringing back his attention to the Evelyn “You have a good eye.”

“So I’ve been told.”

“I stored them all in the drawer right under the shelf. Not so imaginative. Nor that far from their original placement.”

She didn’t move, her eyes wandering on the First Hunter’s angular face. “Why have you hid them?”

“At times I just feel more comfortable around machines than people.” he admitted, letting out a long sigh. “At times I even prefer beasts to people.”

Maria threw her head back, dangling her legs like a child on a swing. “Don’t we all?”

He moved the gun closer to the oil lamp “…it should work now. But let’s wait till it’s morning to try it. We don’t want to scare everyone to death by firing a few shots so late at night.”

“Definitely not. Thank you so much, Gehrman.” She took the short musket from the man’s hand and placed it back in her holster. “So, about that drawer…” “FINE! I’ll show you.” He blurted and Maria returned his slightly annoyed glance with a smile.

Gehrman rose from his chair, suddenly reminding the young woman of his impressive height. Considering his quiet and reserved behavior, it was easy to imagine him as one of those small fellows who always get trampled upon in boisterous crowds, but his appearance didn’t fit such a mental image at all.

He crossed the room and pull out a key from the pocket of his sage green vest to open the mysterious drawer. “Promise me you won’t laugh.”

Maria tilted her head “I can’t promise such a thing. Your expression is already pretty hilarious to look at.”

He sighed again, slowly opening the drawer. It was well worth the risk. After all, Maria looked even prettier when she smiled.

#anon ask #headcanons #gehrman the first hunter

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mittensmorgul · 8 years ago

Text

I can’t believe Dean and Cas are STILL making out...

Inspired by @elizabethrobertajones‘, uh, inspired fic entitled I can’t believe Dean and Cas made out, wherein I was asked to imagine a completely different scenario to fit that single sentence prompt. *Dean voice: I think I delivered it.*

(updated for the weekend crowd, and because it just reached 666 hits on ao3 and that seemed ominous, you can now read the whole fic on tumblr. I waffled about putting this many words under a read more, but it’s friday so I went nuts)

4.8k, AO3

Dean walked into the coffee shop where they’d arranged to meet up after having spent most of the morning running down multiple leads all over town. They’d started looking into the case when local fly fishermen going out for a leisurely afternoon at the riverfront stopped coming home. After the second disappearance in as many days, a curious hiker had discovered the first of two trashed campsites littered with abandoned gear.

Cas had suggested it might be a Mari-Morgan, and Sam countered with the assertion that it could just as easily be a naiad. Just to be contrary, Dean had laid even odds on it being a witch. Hey, if you went in expecting the worst you’d be less likely to be disappointed. And in Dean’s mind, there was nothing more disappointing than having to deal with a witch.

Both fishermen had been presumed dead, their equipment and campsites stained in blood, with not a trace of what had attacked either man left behind. No footprints, animal tracks, or any signs of a struggle outside the blood splattered heavily around each site. Everything that had been collected at the two scenes had been brought to the morgue for further examination, to determine if the blood belonged to the missing men, or if it constituted enough blood lost for the coroner to declare them officially dead. It was a grim case, witches or no.

They’d Rochambeau’ed that morning to divvy up assignments, and Sam had thrown rock like Dean expected he would; which is why Sam got to spend the morning interviewing the two missing men’s wives, while Dean had trudged through the woods with a grizzled old Park Ranger named Duke. It hadn’t been all that bad, Dean thought, despite the damp and the mud and the bugs. The ranger guy sort of reminded him of Bobby, right down to wearing a tattered old trucker cap instead of the usual Smokey the Bear hat with his ranger uniform.

After swearing to Dean that he wouldn’t sniff any dead guys (well technically Cas hadn’t sworn it, but he’d rolled his eyes at Dean’s admonition, which was good as swearing on it in Dean’s book), Cas spent the morning at the morgue examining (but not sniffing!) the recovered fishing gear. If that lead didn’t pan out, Cas was going to head to the local history center to check their archives for any similar disappearances along that stretch of the river.

Dean wasn’t surprised that he was the first to arrive back at their rendezvous point. His job had been the roughest and dirtiest of the three, but if Sam ventured into the local library after finishing up his interviews and Cas got caught up searching through dusty old archives at the history center, Dean could potentially have a long wait on his hands.

They’d picked the coffee shop because it was the only place in town other than the library with free wifi, and unlike the library they served a fantastic cheeseburger and a half-decent slice of pie. It’s not like taking an hour or two waiting for Sam and Cas to catch up was gonna be a huge burden on Dean. He glanced around the cafe just to make sure he hadn’t somehow missed his gargantuan brother hunched over his laptop at one of the booths in the back of the small seating area. The coast was clear, so he sauntered up to the counter to order. A young man in a black apron and a deep purple polo shirt grinned at him as he approached.

“Welcome to Wired, what can I get you today?”

Dean quickly scanned the menu board bolted to the wall above the cashier's head. “Yeah, I’ll have a cheeseburger, medium rare, with onion and Swiss, and a side of fries.”

“Anything to drink with that?” the man asked, his fingers hovering over the cash register buttons.

“Yeah, um,” Dean paused, noticing an entire section of the menu devoted to the kind of froufy specialty coffee drinks that Sammy ordered just to annoy him, and thought fuck it. He’d been hiking along a muddy river, battling his way through the underbrush, and triumphing over the wilderness all morning. It wouldn’t kill him to have a girly drink to balance out all that manliness. He composed his face as best he could and muttered out his order. “A large salted caramel frozen mochaccino.”

The dude behind the counter grinned at him, but typed in his order without comment. “Your food’ll be up in about ten minutes,” he said a minute later, handing over Dean’s drink. “Have a seat anywhere you like, and someone will bring it to your table.”

Dean picked up the tall paper cup, a little relieved that the barista hadn’t labeled it something like pansy-ass coffee. If Sam showed up before he finished it, he wouldn’t even have to make an excuse about what he was drinking. For all Sam would know, it could’ve been a nice, perfectly manly cup of Coke.

The seating area was nearly empty. It was too late for the lunch rush, having just passed two o’clock. The town was small enough that Dean had a hard time imagining any sort of rush in the little cafe. He instinctively wove his way between the few empty tables to a booth in the far corner so he could sit with his back to the wall and have an unobstructed view of the entire place.

In the next booth over sat two girls, the only other patrons hanging around in the otherwise deserted cafe. Dean guessed they were probably high school students judging by the mess of textbooks scattered across their table. They both ignored their books (and Dean) entirely in favor of taking advantage of the free wifi and messing with some sort of social media app on their phones. It was a good thing, too.

Dean nearly did a double-take when he got a good look the first girl. At first glance, she bore a striking resemblance to a very young Cassie Robinson. He restrained himself from blurting out her name, but the fluttery feeling came right back when he nearly mistook her friend for a much younger Lisa Braeden. He’d gritted his teeth together and shook off the creeping feeling of deja vu times two and got his breathing under control. These girls were complete strangers. Any similarity to women from his distant past was purely coincidental. He couldn’t help wondering if the universe was trying to personally torment him anyway, but he did his best to let it go.

Dean sipped at his salty, caramel-y drink for a minute or two, passively listening in to their frequent outbursts over whatever their friends were saying online. It helped him move past the his stunned initial reaction to both girls, reminding him that they were just two ordinary local teenagers and not specters from his failed romantic history. For the most part, he was just enjoying sitting on his ass for a few minutes, trying not to think about having to hike down that steep and slippery riverbank after dark if it turned out they needed to go back to gank some kinda river monster.

He scanned the room once more for good measure before tipping his head back and closing his eyes for a few seconds, enjoying the moment of peaceful relative safety and the mouthwatering aroma of sauteed onions wafting out from the kitchen. His attention had turned completely to the burger he knew was only a few minutes away when suddenly his peace was shattered with a single sentence.

“I can’t believe Dean and Cas made out!” one of the girls exclaimed.

That got Dean’s attention. His eyes snapped open, but he restrained himself from jumping up and demanding a clarification of that random outburst. He even managed to (barely) maintain the disinterested facade he’d been wearing since he’d sat down.

The other girl, the one who’d reminded him of Lisa, snorted and shook her head. “It’s gotta be some sort of publicity stunt. The publishing company’s probably trying to drum up interest in the new series.”

The Cassie girl nodded slowly, and Dean couldn’t see her face, but when she replied she sounded dejected. “Yeah, you’re probably right. Edlund’s got what, seven years worth of fanfic to compete with? If he’s really planning to start writing again, he’d need to do something huge to hook fans back in with new canon.”

Dean almost groaned when he heard the name Edlund, because they couldn’t possibly be talking about Carver Edlund, aka Chuck, aka God. Because he’d floated off to who the fuck knows where with Amara months ago. There was no way in hell he was actually bothering to keep writing the Supernatural books, or the Winchester Gospel, or whatever he was calling it nowadays. Surely he had better things to do than to keep fucking with Dean’s life. They had to be talking about something else. Right?

“Sam and Dean already saved the world and stopped the apocalypse,” the Lisa girl replied. “Can’t really get much bigger than that.”

Dean couldn’t help it. He let out a pained little groan. As if the fact that their case that was going absolutely nowhere wasn’t irritating enough to deal with, apparently he and Sam were about to be used for story fodder again.

The Cassie girl laughed. “True. The only way they could go bigger is if Sam somehow came back from the cage, or Dean finally confessed his feelings to Cas.”

Feelings? Dean thought, the fluttery rush of a few of those unconfessed and repressed feelings threatening to break free. He stomped them down as usual, refocusing on the girls’ conversation.

“Yeah. I wonder where the series picks up again. Right after Swan Song, maybe? Dean prays that night, and Cas comes back to him and they finally tell each other how they feel. Maybe the new books will be about Dean out hunting with his angel by his side for all time.”

While she’d spoken, the Lisa girl’s voice had gone all dreamy and far away, and Dean had to shake himself a bit because his thoughts were wandering off in a dangerously similar direction. It was easier than picturing Lisa-- of all people-- speculating on his post-apocalypse love life. It just felt wrong.

He also couldn’t deny that he’d been wondering more and more what it might be like to settle down like that; if Cas would ever stick around long enough to even try. Dean thought they’d make a good team, anyway. Since they didn’t currently have an apocalypse hanging over their heads and Cas had been sticking around to hunt with him and Sam more and more, maybe it was a good time to give the thought some closer attention. Dean's mind had begun to wander off down that dangerous path when the Cassie girl scoffed.

“No, Rachel. I’m serious. Read the press release for yourself.”

The Cassie girl handed her phone over to her daydreaming friend-- not Lisa, mercifully, but Rachel-- who read aloud, “Flying Wiccan Press, the original publisher of the Supernatural series by Carver Edlund, will reopen its doors through a generous grant from an anonymous donor. After nearly seven years, Edlund promises that the long-awaited new installment in his iconic series will be just what fans of the series have been waiting for.”

Long-awaited? Dean thought with a barely restrained laugh. Iconic? What was that publisher lady smoking? Rachel stopped reading long enough to raise a suspicious eyebrow at her friend, and Dean decided he liked her right then and there. That press release was a bunch of self-aggrandizing bullshit if he ever heard it.

“Are you serious right now, Andi?”

“Keep reading,” Andi-- not Cassie-- insisted, and sat back in her seat with her arms crossed over her chest.

“In our exclusive interview, Mr. Edlund shared a few juicy spoilers of what fans of the series are in for. The first novel will deal with Sam’s resurrection from Hell. The second will test their understanding of the hunting lore, bringing both old and new friends and foes into a battle that spans heaven, hell, earth, and… purgatory.” She stopped reading for a second, but Andi egged her on.

“You’re almost to the good bit.”

Rachel rolled her eyes, but kept going. “The third book will introduce a nearly catastrophic fate for Castiel, but his ordeal will give him profound new insight into humanity, especially where it concerns the one human he shares a more profound bond with.” She stopped reading for a few seconds, and Dean watched her eyes go a little buggy as her friend started squealing like a teakettle. Rachel cleared her throat and went on. “Will they finally clear the air between them enough for a kiss? All three novels will be published together and can be preordered blah blah oh MY GOD. I can’t believe Dean and Cas made out!”

The two of them were too busy squealing at each other to notice Dean quietly having a heart attack one both over. It took everything he had not to leap from his seat and snatch the phone out of Rachel’s hand to read the words for himself. What the fuck was Chuck even thinking, publishing something like that? He and Cas had never kissed. That hadn’t been what happened at all.

Yeah, Cas had met with a nearly catastrophic fate, back when Metadouche had cleared out heaven and left Cas human for a while. But it had done the opposite of clearing the air between them or whatever the hell Chuck wrote in his new books. They’d all met with a long series of pretty damn catastrophic fates over the last seven years, come to think of it. The whole sun-nearly-imploding thing had been pretty damn catastrophic in itself, and they were only a few months past that particular disaster. Still, Dean hadn’t yet properly worked himself up to completely clearing the air with Cas.

What, he was working up to it. Slowly. Probably.

These kinds of things took time.

“Seven years of nothing but angst and fanfic, and now it’s finally going canon,” Andi said.

“I know, right?” Rachel replied. “The tension must be insane between them by now. I couldn’t even imagine it.”

“Being that in love with each other, sacrificing themselves over and over for each other, and never getting any of the benefits? Yeah. I would've exploded by now. They deserve at least a make out after all that.”

Okay, Dean thought. So maybe he really had taken too long. Then again, Cas really had stuck around this time (finally!), and he hadn’t seemed interested in leaving again. He’d even taken over one of the spare rooms in the bunker instead of haunting the library and hallways all night. Maybe for once he really did intend to stay.

But what if suddenly springing his years of pent-up feelings on the guy scared Cas off? Dean stared out the window and thought about what might change if he were really to sit Cas down, uninterrupted for once, and lay out the whole truth. Then again, if Chuck had written it, it was destined to happen one way or another. How desperately awful could the fallout be if God himself had predicted it happening?

How bad could it be if Dean simply refused to fight against one of Chuck’s prophecies, just this one time?

If anything was worth setting aside his stubborn instinct to rebel against the Grand Plan for, this was probably it. So why the fuck was he so scared?

He was contemplating the long list of potential scenarios that could result from giving in to what was supposedly his destiny (as if simply thinking of Cas as his destiny wasn’t mind-bending enough) when an older woman brought out his cheeseburger and set it in front of him. Dean absently picked at his fries for a minute until he noticed Cas walking up the to the front door of the cafe. He picked up his burger and took a huge bite so he’d have an extra minute to compose himself before he’d be expected to say so much as hey, Cas.

Cas saw him and waved, but detoured to the front counter to order a cup of coffee. He didn’t always eat, even if it was something he’d been doing more and more often lately, but Cas would never turn down a cup of coffee. That gave Dean two precious extra minutes, time enough to appreciate a couple more bites of his burger and battle down his nerves. He scarfed nearly the entire thing while Rachel and Andi began packing up their books. That was probably for the best, he’d thought. The last thing he needed was a couple of nosy fangirls… fangirling over him while all these thoughts about Cas and Chuck and prophecy and destiny floated around in his head.

By the time Cas slid into the seat across the table from Dean, the two girls were making their way toward the exit. Dean followed them out with his eyes before finally turning to Cas and swallowing the last bite of his cheeseburger. It landed in his stomach like a rock.

“Hey, Cas,” he said, picking up his half-melted frozen whateverthehellitwas and taking an overly large gulp to wash everything down.

Cas smiled back at him, cradling his warm mug between his hands. “Hello, Dean. Did you have any success at the river?”

Dean sighed and sat back from the table, his appetite suddenly gone. This wasn’t some weird, awkward date with Cas. They were supposed to be working a case, not... flirting with each other, or whatever Chuck thought was supposed to be happening here. The last fifteen minutes evaporated like an impossible dream, and he disappointingly focused back on the real world again.

“Nah. There was nothing to see. I fell on my ass a couplea times and frightened a deer, and that’s just the highlight reel. You get anything at the morgue?”

Cas hummed and took a sip of his coffee. “I didn’t sense anything from the fishing equipment, either. Other than the fact that all of it was brand new, and yet covered with old blood. There were still price tags affixed to some of the gear, and none of the blood was even human.”

“What, some kinda monster blood you think?” Dean asked, finally wondering if they had a solid lead on what they were hunting. “You think the guys maybe fought back against whatever grabbed them?”

Cas shook his head. “It was pig’s blood, obtained from a local butcher shop about two weeks ago. I questioned the butcher, and he confirmed that he sold a middle-aged woman two gallons worth just before the first disappearance.”

Dean made a disgusted face at that. “He didn’t think that was strange?”

“Oh, he did. The woman said was testing out several blood pudding recipes.”

“Sounds like way too much blood pudding.”

Cas shrugged. “He’d never seen the woman before or since, and she doesn't fit the description of anyone else involved in the case so far.”

“So another dead end.”

Dean sighed and toyed with what was left of his fries. At least he’d managed to gobble down his cheeseburger before the mention of blood pudding killed his appetite for red meat for the rest of the day.

“You hear from Sammy yet?” Dean asked, giving up on his fries and turning back to his salt caramel slush.

Cas shook his head again. “After I left the butcher shop I examined the records at the historical society. These disappearances seem to be unique in the town’s history. Nothing like this has ever happened here before.”

“So is this even a case? Or did these two dudes get together with some mystery chick and fake their own deaths for the insurance money or something?”

Dean’s phone buzzed in his pocket, and he pulled it out to see a text from Sam.

>>Starting to think this isn’t a case. The detective just texted to tell me that both fishermen were found alive and well two towns over

“What the hell?” Dean said aloud, before furiously typing out a reply.

“What did he say?” Cas asked, and Dean held up a finger before finishing his message.

<<Where the hell have they been all this time?

>>They both woke up in this little B&B about an hour ago. No memories. The owner insists they both checked in of their own free will and have been hanging out together for the better part of the last two weeks.

<<WTF?

>>I’m heading back to the station to interview them both. If you and Cas want to meet me there in an hour or so, we can probably head home tonight.

Dean relayed the messages to Cas, who agreed with Sam.

“We should probably interview both men to determine if they’d been possessed or otherwise influenced to behave so strangely.”

Dean nodded, studying Cas’s sincere concern. “Maybe this is still our kinda case,” Dean agreed after a few seconds. “Freaked their wives half to death worrying about them. It sucks to have a loved one wander out of your life like that with no explanation.”

Cas’s shoulders slumped and he studied the remaining contents of his mug with an intensity that had Dean concerned that the mug was going to shatter under the force of it. He was about to make a joke about it when Cas looked up and focused that intensity right on him. Dean was now concerned that he was the one in danger of shattering...

“I’m sorry that I ever left you that way, Dean.”

“What?” Dean’s heart rate doubled. This was it. They were gonna clear the air, right here in the corner booth of this tiny cafe. He sucked in a fortifying breath of coffee-scented air and hoped to Chuck he wasn’t about to ruin everything. “No, Cas, I get it. You had important stuff to do. And hey, just like these guys, you always come home eventually.”

Cas finally smiled a little bit. “Home? Yes. I feel like I’m home now. I think I’d like to stay this time.”

Dean blinked a few times and tried to remember to breathe. This was really happening. “Stay. Like, permanently?”

“If you’ll have me. Yes, Dean. I’ve spent a long time trying to determine where I belong. I know you said in the past that I was part of your family, that I’d always have a home with you. I think I finally understand that that’s where I belong.”

“What, at the bunker?” Dean blurted out.

Cas smiled wider. “With you, Dean. Wherever that happens to be.”

Dean nodded and ventured another shaky step out onto the limb that Chuck had written for him. So far, so good, and the branch was holding steady. “Maybe we could try hunting together more. Just the two of us.”

“I think I’d like that very much,” Cas agreed.

Dean’s mind ran back over the good-as-gospel prophecy that he’d fortuitously overheard right before Cas had arrived. For once in his sad, sorry life, Chuck hadn’t steered Dean wrong. They were definitely clearing the air at a rather alarming rate now. All that was left were the big confessions and then, hopefully, the making out. He tried to ignore the feeling that he was about to be strangled by invisible hands and choked out the words he’d been pushing down for years.

“That’s good, Cas, becauseyouknowIloveyouandIjustneedyoutostaywithme.”

As soon as he got it out, his eyes went wide with panic and he stopped breathing entirely. Dean was sure he’d fucked everything up. He’d let one stupid overheard conversation between a couple of teenagers fill him up with the ridiculous notion that their words had really had Chuck’s stamp of approval pasted over them. And really he should’ve known better. For an omnipotent god, Chuck didn’t exactly have a perfect track record with his prophecies. Dean had found a way to bork Chuck’s grand plans a couple of times now. For a few terrifying seconds, he was positive he’d done it again.

Across the table, Cas looked just as stunned as Dean felt, but at least he hadn’t run away. And he’d mercifully not demanded that Dean repeat himself, despite his rushed and garbled delivery.

“I… I love you too, Dean.” Cas tentatively reached one hand out across the table and rested it atop Dean’s.

Where Dean’s palms were damp with panic sweat, Cas’s were warm from cradling his coffee. Even so, Dean didn’t hesitate, flipping his hand over and grasping on to Cas’s. He reached into his pocket with his free hand and tossed down a tip for the waitress before sliding out of the booth and dragging Cas along with him.

As they reached the door Dean muttered under his breath, “We are so not making out in a coffee shop. I don’t give a rat’s ass what Chuck has to say about it.”

They made it all the way back to the Impala before giving in to destiny.

***

“I can’t believe Dean and Cas made out,” Sam said, walking down the sidewalk a few blocks away.

“I know, right?” Chuck agreed, looking and sounding as enthused as a chipmunk rediscovering a lost nut stash.

Amara rolled her eyes at her brother’s glee, but appeared to be quietly content. “That was a lot of trouble to go to, but I believe the result is more than worth the effort.”

“Quite rewarding,” Chuck agreed, dumping the bag of school books he’d borrowed in front of the local high school as they walked past. “That was definitely better than any of the plans I ever came up with for those two. I never could quite get them on the same page. You’ve got a real knack for writing, Sam. You should think about taking over the Supernatural franchise. There’s not a lot of money in it, but maybe you’d be better at it than I ever was.”

“So you’re not really publishing new books, then, right?”

“N-no!” Chuck exclaimed, as Sam loomed over him dangerously.

“He’s retired his typewriter,” Amara confirmed. “It was interesting to play so many different characters this week, though.”

Chuck smiled at his sister, counting off all the people they’d invented to make Sam’s script come to fruition. “Two fishermen, two distraught wives, two teenage girls, one park ranger, one police detective, one nosy and slightly traumatized hiker, and one morgue attendant, and one nice lady with a slightly unnerving passion for finding the ultimate blood pudding recipe. I think it was worth it in the end. Plus, we’ve got new fishing gear!”

He pulled the former "evidence" out of thin air and handed one set of slightly bloodstained fishing gear to Amara, who took it happily.

“So now you’ll teach me to fish?”

“I think so. There’s a few natural wonders I think are best taken in with a few hours of quiet contemplation. Even if it’s occasionally interrupted by a trout.”

“You promised to show me all of your greatest creations, brother. I’ll hold you to your word.”

Chuck grinned at her. “I think you’ve already seen my greatest creation, but the National Parks are worth a visit anyway. Bears are pretty cool. And elk. Arctic foxes are super cute, too... at least when they’re not noshing on even smaller and cuter animals. I think we’ll start with Alaska, then.”

Amara nodded at him, taking in Chuck’s excitement with an equal measure of seriousness.

Chuck turned to Sam. “Give us a call if you need us for anything. You know how to reach us.” And then the two of them disappeared.

Sam smiled at the empty air for a minute and then congratulated himself on a job well done. He wouldn’t have to deal with Dean and Cas pining all over each other anymore, at least. And hey, maybe he really could write better stories than Chuck did. He wasn’t half bad at it, if he said so himself. Not to mention the fact that he now held all the publishing rights to his own life story. It was a win all around.

He strolled slowly back to the parking lot outside the cafe feeling pretty damn proud of himself. Until he reached the Impala, anyway.

He groaned and squeezed his eyes shut against the new reality he’d created for himself, and wondered for a moment if it was too late to get Chuck back here to undo this. Dean and Cas were way too busy in the front seat of the Impala for a weekday afternoon in a public parking lot. Sam really had no one to blame but himself for the spectacle he was now forced to live with. He gathered his nerve and marched forward into his own self-made future, grumbling under his breath, “I can’t believe Dean and Cas are still making out.”

read it on AO3

#spn fanfic #destiel #i can't believe dean and cas made out!#well yes i can really because i wrote the damn thing! sam's probably grumbling to himself still but i can't regret any of this #LET'S JUST SAY IT'S SUPER CUTE and sam regrets some of his life choices but hey it's all worth it in the end right?#continuing my tradition of attaching my meta tags to my own fic because that's just how I roll...#the scheherazade of supernatural #using your words #or the one with the prophecy that dean didn't tear up the ending of #things i have written

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nugasilem · 7 years ago

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CRAZY TEENAGE FANGIRL

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An installation consisting of posters, magazines, miscelleanous merchandise, t shirts, CDs/DVDs, candles. The posters are stuck onto the wall using tape. Merch is displayed on a shelf. The candles are lighted to signify a worship to the ‘ gods’ . The lights are turned off to create a more personal/private atmosphere, like that of a bedroom.

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Disclaimer: I do not intend to pit fangirls against fanboys/non-binary fans, nor support these assigned stereotypes.

Fangirls have been demonised.

Why does the term ‘ fangirl’ carry such a negative connotation? whY?? Nowadays, it’ s ‘ cool’ to be seen as a fanboy/ nerd who plays Dungeons & Dragons and quotes Star Wars, but fangirls are seen as this whole other species, a colony of rabid, hysterical and immature girls, just experiencing another ‘ phase’ . This exact malicious stereotype has been used to dismiss female lawyers, politicians etc by claiming they’ re too hormonaland unreliable everytime its that ‘ time of the month’ .

This is violent misogyny.

I was laughed at and taunted for my ‘ phases’ and it did not make school a better experience. I had a friend who actively avoided me as she did not want to get ‘ infected’ with my ‘ crazy’ . Overall, it just made me feel invalid and stupid, like it was just ‘ a matter of time’ before I ‘ got over it’ . Your teenage years are when you’ re supposed to find your ‘ niche’ /‘ identity’ . When you’ re so impressionable and insecure, and that one thing that means everything to you, is seen as a joke, it’ s a stab to your self esteem.

It’ s just impossible for girls to like anything without it being made fun of. Look at makeup, fashion, etc. It’ s as if the idea of a girl enjoying mindless entertainment and, at the same time, being able to think rationally and critically, is unheard of. Anything associated with girls is automatically deemed as vapid, shallow and stupid. By automatically dismissing our interests because its ‘ girly’ , it seems that what matters to girls is just not quite as important as what guys like.

Fanboys --> superheroes, comics / Fangirls --> boybands, celebrities

There seems to be a connotative link to specific cultural modes. However, what I do know from experience is that if you’ re a guy who likes ‘ girly’ things, then you’ re a faggot and if you’ re a girl who’ s like ‘ one of the boys’ then you’ re cool.

I do feel like my current personality is a culmination of all of my previous obsessions (for better or for worse). I have interests that extend beyond those, of course, but here I am exploring that focused devotion to these ‘ idols’ and how that shapes who I am today. I’ m not just inspired by their selves, but the ‘ world’ surrounding them by extension, its own ‘ alternate universe’ . This process has exposed me to things I didn’ t even know I was interested in.

A huge component of fangirl culture is fan art (visual) and fan fictions (literary) created by the fans themselves. I have such respect for these content creators for transforming raw material into a work of art that’ s so much More than what it started out as. Fanfics however are treated as a joke, despite there being a number of insanely well written, structured and developed plots of alternate universes and canons. Some of which are even better than published novels. And they do this for free. My drawing skills have actually significantly improved through making countless fan arts, even doodling their faces and lyrics on my table at school. My teacher was not impressed.

Copyright: it seems that the legal status of fangirls is similar to their social status: marginal and tolerated, rather than accepted as Real Content. There’ s been some progress where some creators acknowledge it and give their blessings, but it really ultimately depends on their attitude towards fan works.

How much is too much?

Is it possible to be overly infatuated to the point where it becomes debilitating? Fangirling can definetely be a form of escapism where you start to ignore your responsibilities and what’ s happening around you in favour of what’ s on your screen. Then again, it can be a powerful coping mechanism, a sanctuary from the harsh realities of modern life. It ultimately depends on how you make use of it.

If it has a positive function in your life, it helps to remind you of what matters to you. It’ s interesting that these personas can be compared to saints and figures of worship. I find that this sacred connection is really similar to the purpose of religion that can be broken down into:

A need to feel comfort or stress relief. A need to not think. A need to feel awe. A need to feel heard.

“You only like them for their looks!!” There is literally zero connection between their looks with the quality of their work. That being said, it definetely helps to catch your attention in the first place. I don’ t think its a coincidence that most ‘ idols’ just happen to be attractive, after all, who isn’ t attracted to beauty. Its not definitive, yes, but it just really helps.

As much I’ d like to think I don’ t need any validation and can be totally independent, judgment still affects me to some degree. I guess that embarassment stems from wanting to seem ‘ cool’ . In the end this also reflects on how I still need to keep working on eradicating these toxic shameful ideas from my head. I hope that this can be a safe space for fangirls, by extension girls, and encourage understanding and tolerance.

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spirit-of-creativity16 · 8 years ago

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My Kingdom Hearts OCs Bios List.

These are all of my Ocs that created for my Kingdom Hearts AU: Fated Stars. The list contain main, sides, and futures Ocs infos.

Kingdom Heart:Fated Star OCs Bio(updated version) by SpiritDreamWariors on DeviantArt

Main Ocs( Features in story and play a big role).

Name: Akira Knightfall Age: 15 Gender: Female Family: Terra(KH/Older Brother:Unknown), Gemma( Mother: Deceased), Raven(Father: Deceased), Alan Royal(Surrogate Uncle: Active), and Sorin Royal(surrogate cousin/brother: active) Looks: Fair skin, dark blue eyes, and waist-length choppy, brilliant brown hair with messing bangs frame her forehead and sides of her face. Also have a scar on her right palm. Personality: Loyal, caring, foul-mouthed, tomboyish, adventurous, neutral, adamant, introvert, bright, aggressive, protective, spirited(sometime), unyielding, blunt, free-willed, and reliable. Like: constellations, grim fairytales, old legends, archeology, swordsmanship, hiking through the woods, exploring the unknown, going to the museum, pastries, candy, music, her family and her closet friends. Dislike: choosing sides, anything girly, failing, losing people she grew attached, abandonment, deep water, and her brother spending too much with his friends. Weapon: Double-edge sword Magic Elements: Dark, Light(weak), Thunder, Ice, Fire, Earth and Water(weak) Weakness: Light magic(sometime), melee attacks, at times her emotions get the best of her, and losing control of her magic Anything Else: Akira had been raised by her older brother, Terra, in her early childhood. Once she was old enough, Terra made the best decision to let her lived with a close family friend, Alan Royal, just for a while so he could focused on fulfilling his dream. While she could lived a normal life with her uncle and his son, Sorin. She managed to live a good life since Alan raised her like his own daughter, and Sorin is like a little brother to her. However, Terra haven't come back for her for the past ten years, and nover gotten any messages of his whereabouts. Also she does has difficulties socializing with other since she was raised somewhere far away, and she doesn't know how to interact. Trivia: Both Akira and Terra are consider to be second generation of fighters of their father side. Akira have a fear of deep water starting at age of five. Lastly, Akira have many fails friendships in her childhood.

Name: Kitigin the Kitten Relatives: Unknown Age: 14 Appearance: First-version-Silver-furred anthropomorphic cat, peach-skinned face, bright pink nose, unusual blues eyes, and black ears. Short hair with bangs split into three, and a fluffy tail. Second version- a small kitten with silver fur, bright blue eyes, tiny sharp claws, and sleek-pelt styled. Personality: Selfless, supported, promise keeper, moral compass, naive, innocents, merciful, courageous, childish, and a dreamer. Likes: Her group of friends, learning magic, helping other, seeing new places, natures, sweet treats, tea, herbal bath, aroma thereby, and having fun. Dislikes: Deaths, failing, Akira's anger issues, seeing her friend fighting, lying, thunderstorm, and fire. Weapon: Magic Staff Magic Elements: White, Water, Aero, Nature, and Light Weakness: Physical Attack, dark magic, Fire spells, and Snipers Background: Nothing much know about past, but her training to become a healers at very young age. Also given a task to search for someone important. Trivia: Kitigin is based on Hummy from Suite Prettycure. Originally she was supposed to be a wolf to matched with Akira's personality, but then changed into feline for character development between her and Akira since they are total opposite.The idea of her becoming healer was from Warriors by Erin Hunters: a book series that focuses on cats living in the wild, and also have healers that have special connection to the stars.

Name: Sorin Royal Relatives: Alan Royal(Father: Active), Unnamed Mother(Deceased), and Akira Knightfall(Surrogate Sister/Cousin: Active) Age: 10 Appearance: Peach-skinned, leaf-green eyes, and golden brown hair. Personality: Open-minded, knowledgeable, spunky, friendly, helpful, rash, sophisticated, sociable, bold, and outspoken Likes: Wildlife, exploration, going to museum, being with his big sister, video games, vegan food, bike riding, playing the drums, taking care of the environment, taking pictures, and doing animal research. Dislikes: His father being too protective, Akira's stubbornness, inaccurate facts, treating as a underling, not being useful, meat, and pollutions. Weapon: Beast Stone and Small Sword(only for emergency) Magic Elements: Fire, Aero, Earth, Water, and Light Weakness: Status effect spells, bigger foes, unable control instinct, and Beast Slayer. Background: Sorin was raised by his single father, Alan Royal, and was able to live a normal childhood. Along with his sister, Akira; however, he does question if she really is his sister since they are nothing alike by traits. But he keep to himself and happy to have her as his big sister. Trivia: Sorin is vegan ever since he was seven. He unaware that Akira and Alan are keeping secrets from him. Sorin is based on a Grim Fairytale called Brother and Sister.

Name: Lucy Quartz Relatives: Unnamed mother and father(unknown) Age: 14 Appearance: Creamy pale skin, light orange hair, that is perfectly straight. When left alone it will hang just below her shoulders, Lucy ties them up with yellow hair ribbons pigtails high on each side of her head: the only part that is left alone is the bangs that fall just above her eyes and shorter hair on the side of her face. And blueish green eyes Personality: Artistic, kind-hearted, short-tember, protective, strong-willed, sociable, strong, stubborn, feisty, and dependable Likes: Drawing a lot, singing her favorite music, being with friends, cute stuff, training, going places, and martial arts. Dislikes: Her friends fighting, artistic works not turning out rights, being spoil by her parents, selfish people, snobs, and injustice. Weapon: Scythe Magic Elements:White, Thunder, Fire, Ice, and Earth Weakness:Underground attack and status affect spells Background:Lucy is not originated from Seikastu Valley, but she came from one of the four major towns: Hippocampus Coast. She used to lived with her parents who are wealthy, but one day she encountered a mysterious creature and vanished. She now lived with a group of kids who went missing like her. Trivia: Lucy is capable to punch through steel. She and along with another Oc are supposed to be Akira's childhood friends, but the idea dropped due to new story purpose. Also the idea of being one of Akira's childhood friend is too clinched and overused in the KH Fandom.

Name: Ren Tomcat Relatives: None Age: 15 or 16 Appearance: First Version- A small (like Kitigin) human that carries a strong resemblance to a cat - with cat ears, paws(for hands), and a tail. He has golden eyes and dark blue hair. Second Version- Tall, tidy dark blue hair, two blues marks on both cheeks, and human hands(ability shift into paws). Personality: Mischievous, laid back, nosy, brave, caring, friendly, wanderer, loyal, creative, devoted, and mysterious. Likes: Sleeping, catnips, listening to soft music, exploring, his human companion(Lucy), gazing at the night sky, seafood, and climbing. Dislikes: Water, Robin's cocky attitude, anybody who want to hurt Lucy, mad scientist, and dogs. Weapon: Claws Magic Elements: Dark, Fire, Ice, and Thunder Weakness: Water, Easily Get Distraction, Attacks from underground. Background: Ren met Lucy when Lucy found him injured and alone, she took care of him and stayed by him and because of that Ren sticks to Lucy like glue, he doesn't like being separated from her for long periods of time. Also he doesn't know his own past. Also suffer identify issued since he's mixed between human and feline. Trivia: Both Ren and Lucy are created by same fanfic writer, CatLoverX33. Ren also based on Yoru from Shugo Chara(the creator favorite anime). Also he like to say "Nya" at end of his sentence when he in his first form. Also his second form is based Final Fantasy's Miqo'te race.

Name:Robin Tormenta Relatives: Unamed parents(status: unknown) & Unnamed multiples brothers(status: unknown). Age: 15 Appearance: Slightly tan skin, brown eyes, inky black hair, and messing hair-styled. Also a permanent bruise on his right leg. Personality: Cool, cocky, easy-going, compassion, athletic,funny, show-off, quick to anger, loyal, strong-willed, sometime jealous, brave, courageous, humorous, impatient, and quick-thinker. Likes:Video games, being with his friends, spicy food, trying something new, running, soccer, parkour, playing guitar, break dancing, hang outs places, break dancing, and Rock n' Roll. Dislikes: Losing, Ren(ocasusily), someone make fun of his friends,heartless, doing nothing, feeling useless, his nasty bruise, and cheaters. Weapon: Dagger Magic Elements: Wind, Thunders, Water, and Ice Weakness: Paralysis effect, unable to be patient most of the time, Earth and Nature based spells. Background: He originally came from the city until he got into a car accident. Ever since then he lived at home until he suddenly disappear. Leaving his family behind, and now lived group of kids who left their family. Trivia: He based on Sonic the Hedgehog because he and Robin are the best runner and loyal to their friends. There are some hints that he's Mexican descendant; however, nationally doesn't exist in Seikastu Valley. Instead they are describe as "Bronze" folks.

Name:Froze Nimbus Relatives: Unnamed parents( status: unknown) Age: 16 Appearance: Neck-length platinum-blonde hair, icy blue eyes, well-muscle, and pale skin. Personality: Calm, good-hearted, easy-going, serious, patient, intelligent, careful, resourceful, useful, loyal, well-organized, unconventional, bibliophilic, caring, uptight sometime, sociable, logical, and mature. Likes: Swimming, going to the library, reading, archery, darts games, snow-covered field, fighting tactics, keeping stuff organize, his closet friends, reading novels, mediating, hacking and tinkering devices. Dislikes: Disorganization, hate getting interrupted, Akira's temperament, Robin being too cocky, not doing anything useful, hearing his comrades argue, and judgmental people. Weapon: Bow n' Arrow Magic Elements: Ice, Wind, Thunder, and Fire Weakness: Close range enemies, shield and armor that the protect opponents, and blinding spells. Background: Froze's family own a tailor shops, and worked their for almost his entire childhood. His family home schooled him, but Froze feel he is not getting a good enough education. One day he disappeared with no trace or motive. His old home town declare him dead, but he's not really. Trivia: Froze's hometown thrived in mountains and harsh cold weather, and people who come from the cold land are label as "Cold" folks. Froze's glasses are just accessories for him since his eyesight are more enhanced thanks to a certain ability.

Name:Makayla Belladonna Relatives: Nyra(older sister: active), and unnamed parents( status: unknown). Age: 16 Appearance: A bit tall, short, black hair, and tanned skin. On her left ear and a bit on her left cheek she has a port wine stain birth mark. Personality: low self-esteem, cold-hearted, quiet, over-protective, sharp-minded, sometime manipulated, empathy, good-listener, useful, good-hearted at times, friendly sometime, middle ground, and a bit childish. Likes: Fighting, anime, rabbits, making accessories, writing dark stories, playing rpg makers games, being with her sister, the color white, and friends. Dislikes: Bullies, bad people, someone tried to hurt her sister, being around a lot of people, getting caught, failing, losing her precious creations, and unable to get things right. Weapon: Sai Magic Elements: Ice, Fire, Poison, and Wind Weakness: Relying too much on her manipulation ability, larger enemies, low defense, and light spells. Background: She and her older sister, Nyra, came from a long line of fighters. Their family are in charged of oldest guild in Seikastu Valley. One day, Makayla was given a gift and later disappeared along with her older sister. No one know what happened to the two sister, but many consider the two dead. Even though their bodies were never found. Trivia: She's the second Oc to be contributed by none other than my supporter called RequimeofKingdomHearts. Her last named "Belladonna" was based on the deadly plant, fitting because she delicate and also dangerous in a fight. ******************************************************************* Sides Ocs( already features in story, but play a small role). Name:Alan Royal Age: late 40th Gender: male Looks: Neatly comb black hair and stubbled beard. Well-muscle for his age, and has bright green eyes. Personality: Level-headed, calm, intelligent, wise, fatherly,kind,and brave. Alan have dry sense humor and sarcastic wits. Like: Studies, reading, going places that he never been too, meeting new people, and cooking Dislike: Akira's stubbornness and reckless, People who are quick to judge, war, annoyance, and anything that creeps or crawl(ex: Snakes, rats, and scorpions) Occupation: Professor

Name:Nyra Belledonna Age: mid-twenties Gender: female Looks: Dark brown eyes, tall-figure, pale skins, neck-length ebony hair, and slender. Nice curved body and modest-sized chest. Personality: intelligent, cunning, caring, protective, good-leaderships, and flirtatious. Likes: Makayla(baby sister), Froze(assistant), Mocktails, everything going as plan, organizing, tactical games, yoga, and practicing fighting. Dislikes: Anybody who hurt her sister and Assistant, being tricked, keeping secret, and judgmental people. Occupation: Headmistress(formerly)

Name:Hana Sakuragi Age: 10 Gender: female Looks: Bright red hair, brown eyes, and pale skin Personality: gentle, shy, strong-willed, weak, and soft-spoken Likes: Cartoon, coloring, flowers, going places, Sorin and Akira Dislikes: bullies, being weak, her illness, seeing Akira and Sorin arguing. Occupation:Student ******************************************************************* Future OCs(feature in future stories and one-shots).

Name: Harmonia Age: 15 or 16 Gender: Female Looks: Shoulder-lengths blonde hair, peach-skinned, and lavender eyes Personality:Serious, brave, complex, caring, and cold-hearted Likes: Music, theater, fairytales, and swordsmanships. Dislikes: People getting in her ways, her mother, and monsters

Name:Magia Age:16 or 17 Gender: Male Looks: Black hair with slight curls, dark brown eyes, and Personality: Wise, determined, stern,good-hearted, and logical Likes: Magic, books, owls, astronomy, helping other, and leaning something new. Dislikes: Monsters, distraction, friends being mischievous, and disorganization.

Name: Shade Shinozaki Age: 14 Gender: Male Look: messing silver neck-length hair, golden-colored ears, tanned skin, slightly pointing ears, and a large bite marked on his right shoulder. Personality: Friendly, out-spoken, loyals, spunky, courageous, dreamer, and rash. Likes: ghost story, his girlfriend, going swimming, surfing, Dislikes: Secrets, being compare to somebody else, and killers.

Name: Euphemia Albinoni Age: 13 or 14 Gender: Female Look: curly, black shoulder-length hair, dark skinned-colored, dark brown eyes, and slight-curved body

#kingdom hearts #an AU where Terra have a baby sister and other characters defendant as well that aidthe main heroes

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fanficlandofkazamcra-blog · 8 years ago

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“How Bad Can I Be?” A keemstar x onceler cross over fanfic.

Keemstar was sitting at his desk, wondering what he would do in his life. He was a drop out and he still needed adult diapers. Standing up, he exclaimed to himself, shaking his fursuit around, “ I know! I’ll do youtube videos about the NEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWOSSSSSSSSSSA “ he smirked. He visited the wonderful land of Youtube. It was glorious, full of youtubers having a great time, fulfilling their fandom’s ships. Jack and Mark were STILL not together, and the fangirls were crying. Most, if not all of them were playing videogames. There were also some who thought they were dragons.

Keemstar strutted to the youtube channels in his fursuit, watching them be far more successful than him. He was jealous, very jealous. Eventually, the sky got dark, so most youtubers left the area, but some stayed because they had no life and sold their soul to the devil, to be devoted to posting 18 videos a day. After creating his channel, “Drama Alert”, he exposed a man named XxAlexIsAGoodManXx, ruining his channel. It fell to ashes over the period of a month, brutally getting torn apart from the inside. Drama Alert collected the ashes, ready to make a batch of suscribers. He walked away, holding the remains of his youtube channel in his hand. He was heading towards his cabin in Youtube land, taking off his fursuit to repeal a pink Rainbow Dash adult diaper. He changed his own diaper, but it was extremely difficult, as he had never done it before. He tried to strap it together, but he was too fat, and too stupid. Either way, he crafted a video exposing XxAlexIsAGoodManXx, and walked to town. At day, the youtubers mourned over their loss. Alex WAS indeed a good man, and he helped the youtubers over the years advance. Meanwhile, fursuit man Keemstar was showing off his “Alex Exposed” video, screaming enthusiastically for everybody to call Alex a stupid nigger. They threw tomatoes at him, booing him. After being called out, he sighed, stomping away aggressively. “Maybe my mother was right..” He teared up, and threw the exposed video away, in the hands of a young adult, with beautiful luscious blonde hair and blue eyes. Keemstar was already at his cabin, deciding to move on from diapers due to his heart break. He took off his fur suit and put on a suit to appeal to the Fangirls. Suddenly, everybody rushed towards his cabin, chanting for more videos, subscribing quickly. They begged and begged for more videos. Keemstar sweated nervously at all the people, he’s only seen this many people when his mommy took him to the shop once.

“Keem! We want exposure videos! We need DRAMA!” They scream, beginning to stomp their feet, holding money in their hands. Keem calls his mom on the phone, screaming in utter joy. ��MOMMY!! GET MY CEO’S I’VE SUCCEEDED IN LIFE!” his mom replied with a relieved sigh, thinking that keemstar would finally make his parents proud, but then she realised it was in youtube. She frowned, but thought it was better than nothing. Keemstar began exploiting other channels, laughing as they suffered. His CEOs were behind him, as he grinned smugly.

Youtube CEO Susan Wojcicki rushed to his hut, while listening to channels internally bleeding to death. “Stop!” She cried. “Hurting all these channels will cause extreme chaos! It’ll be your final regret!”

Keemstar spinned around from his office chair, and smirked, laughing like one of those hot anime boys, munching obnixously on popcorn. “Sorry, Susan, but the newwwssssssssaaaa must be reported by somebody.” He says, spinning back around to watch some newwwwwwwwwwwwwwwssssaaa, his own newsa of course. He began to sing, suddenly changing his voice to sound like a fantastic pop star, “ How ba-a-a-ad can I be? I'm just using the news that comes naturally,

How ba-a-a-ad can I be? I'm just following the news’ lead. How ba-a-a-ad can I be? I'm just using the news that comes naturally. How ba-a-a-ad can I be? How bad can I possibly be? Well there's a principle of nature (principle of nature) That almost every 'tuber knows. Called survival of the fittest (survival of the fittest) And check it this is how it goes. The ‘tuber that wins gotta expose and yell and send and hate! And the animal that doesn't, well the animal that doesn't winds up someone else's ne-ne-ne-ne-news! (new new new new news!) I'm just sayin'. How ba-a-a-ad can I be? I'm just using the news that comes naturally. How ba-a-a-ad can I be? I'm just following the news’ lead. How ba-a-a-ad can I be? I'm just using the news that comes naturally. How ba-a-a-ad can I be? How bad can I possibly be? There's a principle in the news (principle in the news) That everybody knows it’s sound. It says the people with the good news (people with the good news) Make this ever-loving world go 'round So I'm biggering my set-up, I'm biggering my news, I'm biggering my internet connection Everybody out there, take care of yours and me? I'll take care. of. Mine, mine, mine, mine, mine. (shake that news you swines!) Let me hear you say 'tobuscous exposed!' ( tobuscous exposed!) ‘He raped me!’ (’he raped me!’) Complain all you want, it's never ever, ever, ever gonna stop. Come on how bad can I possibly be? How ba-a-a-ad can I be? I'm just building a news channel How ba-a-a-ad can I be? Just look at me pettin' this child! How ba-a-a-ad can I be? A portion of proceeds goes to charity! How ba-a-a-ad can I be? How bad can I possibly be? Let's see. (How ba-a-a-ad can I be?) All the customers are watchin’! (How ba-a-a-ad can I be?) And the money's multiplyin’! (How ba-a-a-ad can I be?) And nobody starts exposin’! (How ba-a-a-ad can I be?) And the lawyers are denyin’! (How ba-a-a-ad can I be?) Who cares if a few channels are dyin’? (How ba-a-a-ad can I be?) This is all so gratifying. How bad. How bad can this possibly be!?”

He says, his CEOs singing along. Susan sighs, as she watches the last 5 channels limp down, wondering when they’ll get exposed. She looks at them and pats them. “I’m sorry, Pewdiepie. I tried, senpai.” she begins walking away, eyes watering.

SLAM!

Two days later, the last channel tumbles to an end, sending a final goodbye to the viewers. Susan sheds a tear, as the precious Pewdiepie that was always valued’s channel was ended. She walked up to Keemstar, eyes watering.

“I knew it. You would’ve done it no matter what I said.” She sighs, desperately grasping onto the last tape of Pewdiepie’s video. The fangirls were running to our good friend Keemy’s house as they spoke. “Now, unless you find someone who cares an awful lot, it’s not going to get better.

it’s not.” She says, before leaving to let Keemstar get attacked by the fangirls.

The fangirls cry and scream, hitting Keemstar’s door. “WE DIDN’T THINK THIS’D HAPPEN! WE WANTED SEPTIPLIER TO BE TRUE, BU-BUT Y OU RUINED IT!” They snapped, disliking Keemstar’s videos. Suddenly, the once beautiful land of youtube was wiped clean of it’s previous beauty. It was now dull, and grey, and covered in the ashes of old channels for others to mourn on. After locking Keemstar in his own house, the fangirls left. Keemstar had been holding the last Pewdiepie video in his hand as this happened, grasping it tightly. He sighed, turning to all his videos.

He would be here forever.

12 YEARS LATER

Hunched over, Keemstar was rewatching his old videos, remembering all the praise and attention he got. He glanced at a large stack of money, reminding himself of better days. Suddenly, he heard a little girl run to his house. Her name was LtCorbis. She was 11, and was trying to impress her friend idubbbzTV with a youtube video. He had always been funnier, better, and smarter than her, and she always tried to copy Idubbbz, he was always tired of her. He said to her one day, that if somebody gave him a youtube video, he’d just go homo for them (no homo) on the spot. The little girl yelled to Keemstar. “ARE YOU KEEM!?” Keem nodded, waiting for her to continue. Corbis yelped to him, “I REALLY NEED THAT VIDEO!” “Why?!” Keem questions, as Sophia continues. “I need it to make..” She read the smudged writing on her palm, stammering. “ Sus-Susy W-wo-wojoockky ! I need to make Susy Wojocky proud! “ She exclaims. He nods, ready to pass the video. “ Once Susan told me ‘ if you don’t try to fix it, it’s not going to get better. it’s not ‘. I wondered what this meant for years, but I finally found out-” Sophia was tapping her foot, honestly not giving a fuck about the backstory. She just wanted to appeal to Senpai edupps like the filthy fucking weeb she is. “What are you, fucking gay?” She says to Keemstar, fed up with his story. “You need a toilet roll to wipe that shit from your mouth, girly?” He hisses, dropping the video and a toilet paper roll from his barricaded window. “Thank you, daddy Keem!” She says, happily, skipping away with the video.

She passes it to Idubbbz, and iDubbbz starts wheezing. “What are you, fucking gay?” He says aggressively, flinging the video away. “I don’t want this shit I was joking, holy fuck.” Sophia cries and runs away. Neither of them realise Youtube was being revived when Edupz flung it away, people were creating channels again. They were mainly reaction channels, but it was better than nothing. Idubbbz made a channel, and got way more famous than lil Corbis.

From Daddy Keem’s house, he shed a tear in joy. “Thank you, Corbis.” He said, putting on a pink fur suit.

THE END

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