#FOR REAL though. she wants to die so bad but her life cost too much to waste | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

chainelunaire · 2 years ago

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yandere tendencies

shigaraki

he has almost zero yandere tendencies. you can thank the photo of his grandma for this. deep inside, even though he no longer wants to be like a hero-hero, he still views himself as some kind of a heroic figure to those he cares about (read, the league, mostly). he’s almost a gentleman in that sense. he won’t pressure you into loving him out of the blue. he’s awkward with feelings of course, but he’s not that stupid. it’s like a game to him, where the main prize is you. he could cheat and use brute force, but like really why do that? no fun, you’re not an enemy, and also, it kinda throws off his image to you, don’t you think? he’s calculating everything, and he figures that scaring you might really be not useful in the long run. he’s the one who’s learning from his mistakes, so he longer is that impulsive brat from the very start of the story. and because of his strategic thinking, even his some really troublesome qualities, like possessiveness, impulsive and manipulating behaviour, could be overcome.

ways to deal with: basically, just don’t lie to him. he’ll be okay with anything you throw his way, he’s no stranger to harsh words. it’s his way to improve himself. if you learn about his heroic origins, do not ever, i repeat, ever, use that as the way to stop him from being violent. that’s the tricky part. he still views himself as a hero - to the league, to you, but in his very twisted way. you may get it all you want, but the rules are that you keep your mouth shut. he is violent. he’ll continue to be violent. he is a villain, the future king at the end of the day. if you don’t want to face his angry breakdown, know your place. he does not cross your boundaries (even for sometimes wrong reasons), your turn to do the same.

how hard to escape: he won’t even kiss you without your consent, so dont worry about your freedom. you’re not a hostage to him. you’re free to go wherever and whenever you want.

likeliness to survive: very high. do not betray him and you won’t die from his hands (literally).

rate: 4/10, not even a yandere in a full sense, let alone dangerous one.

toga

surprisingly, ranks the lowest on this list. she has the image of a cliche yandere, and this image has nothing in common with the real toga himiko. the only things she’s obsessed with are her own thoughts and ideas. she’s very observant and she is a realist. she clearly distinguishes between the reality and her own fantasies about other people. it might upset her very much (it usually does) but she’s still the molst self-aware from the gang, even though it might not look like it. but! because of how upset she can get, she might become dangerous to even close ones. she tries really hard to be in control, but she’s still very young and she only learns. she wants love, she wants to give and to recieve love. of course, with how lonely she feels, it might swing her mood drastically. because she’s not delusional, even when she wants to be. she’s too smart to be fooled by the false feelings.

ways to deal with: well, if she’s in a bad mood, whining that no one loves her, you better either run or hug her. it’s just you do you situation. again, lies are highly not appreciated, she can see right through it, and even if you think you’ve fooled her, trust me you haven’t. with how she views the world, she’d learnt to be okay with being unloved. she desperately wants to be loved, so if you’ll love her for real, that would take her by surprise. and if not... nothing will really change.

how hard to escape: she won’t hold you hostage.

likeliness to survive: high, but you need to be able to run fast, especially when she’s in a bad mood.

rate: 2/10, not a yandere.

dabi

you think with how cold and aloof he looks, he doesn’t care about anything, like he himself states? you’re not a fool, are you? don’t fall for his lies, it may cost you a life. so if it’s you he’s currently obsessed with, it’s really bad news for you. when he sets a goal, it all goes tunnel vision to him. man’s held a grudge for more than 10 years, you really think he let’s go easily? whatever he thinks of, it possesses his mind, like it’s all already done. but, he still needs to build some courage. he’s not cruel or bloodthirsty by nature. he was raised in a heroic household, and it has a hold on him to this day. don’t mistake it, unlike shigaraki, he doesn’t see anything heroic in himself. quite the opposite, he fully recognizes he is a villain in any perspective. it may seem like he doesn’t have a moral compass, but he actually does. his moral standarts are very, very high. he just explicitely chooses to ignore it to fullfill his goals. he’s very self-aware and like any human being who recognizes that what he's doing is bad, he deals with self hatred. and because of it he has that negative nihilistic perspective, like if nothing matters anymore and i’m that evil being, why not be even more evil? it doesn’t matter anyway.

ways to deal with: he’s not cold, nor is he aloof. he’s very sensible and unstable, but, he’s still predictable. his mood swings are highly dependable on whether everything went according to his plans or not. his family is also a huge factor, because even if he himself states that he doesn’t care about them and wants to kill his small brother, well, he lies. he’s self-aware, yeah, it doesn’t mean he knows his own feelings very well. do that for him, he’ll actually be grateful, because it might lessen his self-hatred a bit. but sometimes it might anger him even more, because you may give him the reason to be a decent person, and he’s very aware he’s long past it. you can’t fix him, no one can fix him, and he doesn’t want to be fixed. he chose to be a bad, bad person, and it took years for him to seal the deal. but, however much he craves your attention, he has some boundaries. yes, he likes to play with you, and he enjoys his little manipulations and lies. but he’ll never rape you, or even kiss you without asking you first, if it’s not something you initiating. it’s just disgusting to him, and however morally corrupt he is, he’s not that low on morals bar. he doesn’t even really want to have sex with you, to begin with. he just wants his attention and fun, mainly being him gaslighting you. he doesn’t find your body necessarily attractive, because his mind doesn’t work like that. look at him, yours or even his own body are not his priorities. your mind is what he wants in his pleasure. to your advantage, he’s very bad at it, being manipulator. it’s against his blunt nature, so you better just play along. another thing is that you need to remind him carefully, that he has some greater goals (than you). you need to find them for him, so his focus changes from you and you only. best case scenario is when he finds something new (preferrably not another human) to be obsessed with.

how hard to escape: well, you’ve never lived together to begin with, and it was his choice only. he really enjoys his alone time, but he has his eyes on you anyway. you can’t really leave anywhere without him knowing somehow. but, as stupid as it sounds, it might be very easy, actually, because he might just simply forget about you if there’s any next grand goal. that’s your chance to escape. stay on the low. the sad part is, he always finishes what he’d started, even if it takes years. and if he finds you again - because he will try to do that, no matter what - what he’ll do to you then?

likeliness to survive: 50/50. there’s a thing with him, that his self-hatred shows that he’s still capable of mercy. he might just let you go one day with no regrets, out of the blue, because he said so. but here’s another way; and he knows that killing you is bad. he knows it all. he might still choose to do it regardless.

rate: 7/10. impulsive, manipulative, shows zero remorse. he doesn’t even love you, he loves to play with you. protect your mind, don’t fall for his tricks, and maybe one day you’ll escape.

hawks

crème de la crème. charming, funny, friendly, polite and is a hero, a gentleman’s kit. he remembers everything you’ve ever said to him (mark that part), he’ll follow you home, he’ll bring you small gifts and snacks, the dates are memorable, he compliments you all the way. you both want to create a beautiful family. a fairytale personified. and like with all fairytales, there’s a twist: he’s delusional to a point he can’t distiguish his desires from reality. the thing is, in his world, when he’s a highly trained asassin, his desires are a reality, because he never really had any. he was an asset, a tool. and what he was told to do, he repeated to himself and then he did what was asked. so in his mind, what he thinks is what he does. and it’s okay, if you think similarly - at the beginning of your relationship it feels like a dream how in sync you are. he’s very careful with what he’s showing to you, and if you don;t dig deeper, it may stay this way for literal years. he’s in no rush, so all your connections he cuts one by one, thoughtfully and carefully. he’s everywhere you want him to be. and he always knows what exactly you want. it is, until one time he gets it wrong, and his reaction is anything but what you’ve expected from your always sweet and gentle partner.

ways to deal with: the effect of the uncanny valley is developing with more time that you spend with him. you see his strange looks, but you don’t know how to explain it, and he’s always so ready to tell you it’s just because of how beautiful you are! but you see how he looks at you, like you’re a lab rat in a glass box, and at first you think you’re just imagining things. he’s so ready to confirm your stupidity. he wants the best for you, and since he’s seen it all, he knows best. it’ll took a lot of time for you to unpack how sick he is, how many lives he’d ended because he decided what they did was wrong. he has no moral compass, actually, he’s like a parrot, repeating what he have heard from his supervisors. so he doesn’t really know what’s good and what’s bad, he’ll find an explanation for any atrocities he’d caused. he’ll do everything in his power for you to never find out, but even if you do, he won’t drop the act. he’ll still be gentle and soft with you, trying to convince you you got it all wrong. he has his ways: he’s still attractive to you, of course he is, with his gorgeous looks, and he knows that. he’ll definitely use sex as a distraction - another thing to be wary of. and it might work, because he never in his life harmed you physically. you may fall for it again and again and again, letting him put you on a shorter leash. maybe, it’s even better for you to stay as delusional as him? because if you keep your sanity and believe your own eyes, it might become unbearable to live with him under one roof. he won’t rape your body, but he’ll torture your mind and soul constantly. unlike dabi, he mastered his manipulation skills to a degree he manipulated himself into believing his own lies. you’re ruining you both’ perfect little life. like, what bothers you exactly? it doesn’t matter if he may kill people in cold blood, he never hurt you, did he? the main survival strategy is to play along. he lies a lot, and he likes his lies. he’ll be happy to hear yours. don’t let him in your head again, pretend you’re back to his ‘normal’. or he’ll destroy you like no one but him could.

how hard to escape: your chances to escape are none to zero. you see, you may live with him for years, not realizing how crazy he is, because of how good he is at hiding it. you may even have kids at this point (which makes situation far, far more difficult). he can and he will threat you with harming others, if you try to leave him, by yourself or with kids. he won’t hurt them, but your other relatives, friends? say bye to them: he won’t kill them (again, not necessary blood is not appreciated), but you’ll never heard from them again. if you have kids, he’ll keep them. if you somehow manage to escape, however long it takes, he will find you and bring back home.

likeliness to survive: very low. he’ll probably break you in the end, that if he won’t die himself. his pressure on your mind is unimaginable. he’ll twist it in the ways only he can understand. the man has no morals, no goals, no friends, nothing but you. it can become physically impossible to live with him, while recognizing he’s like batshit crazy and he’s trying to make you like him. he won’t kill you, no matter how much you want him to. he won’t kill you no matter what you do, even if you stab him, no punishment for you other than staying with him like that, untill the day you or him finally die. and even if it’s him who dies - on a mission or from by your hand - you’ll never ever be the same.

rate: 10/10, The Madman.

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heavenlyakin · 1 year ago

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Part 3: I Took All My Things

Summary: Your life is forever changed when your most trusted advisor arrives home with an engagement treaty. As Queen of your Kingdom, you knew there would be sacrifices but little did you know how much the cost of these sacrifices would be. What do you do when your mind wants one thing but your heart longs for another?

Characters: Reader (some descriptions apply), Ella and Bella ( oc chambermaids), Suguru Geto, Camilla (oc advisor), Sebastian (oc butler), and finally the arrival of Satoru Gojo

Warnings: none

Length: 1.6k

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“Do you think this is a little much?” You ask Bella, one of your chambermaids, as she does your hair. She’s pulling the red strands up into an updo with pearled pins.

“It matches your dress,” she says, not giving an opinion but rather a statement.

Your dress is a cream underskirt with gold lacing on top and pearls adorned all over the skirt and bodice. Your breasts are pushed up so high you’re worried they’ll pop out if you move too suddenly. You giggle at the thought, the scandal that would cause.

“Are you excited to meet King Gojo?” Ella, Bella’s twin, asks you.

“I met him once before,” you say, not really sure yourself. “That was long ago, though.”

“I’ve heard he’s to die for gorgeous.” Ella smiles, bringing Bella more pins for your hair.

“Ella,” you scold, trying to keep from laughing. “Maybe you’ll catch his eye.”

“Since you banned the color red, I doubt that.” Bella teases you and her sister.

You laugh this time, letting the nerves take over. Your fingernails are in disarray from the picking, and your ladies have given up on polishing them for the events. They’ve even called in specialists who claim to make fake nails that look as natural as real ones.

“I do wish the rain would stop,” Ella sighs, sitting on the chaise in front of the window of your dressing room.

“We all do,” you sigh with her. “Perhaps it’ll subdue soon.”

“Your Highness,” Suguru’s voice at the door perks your ears up.

“Is it time?” You ask, looking at his reflection in the mirror.

Suguru is dressed in a navy blue coat, gold trim, and lacing on the cuffs. His pants match, and the white shirt beneath looks good on him. His hair is tied back with it falling in long strands behind his back. ‘

“The scouts spotted his convoy a few miles out. We need to be there to greet him when he arrives.” He shifts his weight from one foot to the other. “It’s best we go now.”

You nod, and Bella and Ella exit through the servant's passages. Suguru takes your arm, walking with you to the hall and down the steps that lead to the front gates of the palace. In the foyer, many members of the court are dressed in their best, eager to see who could be their future King.

The front doors open, revealing the giant tents you had strung up so you and your guests would not be soaked to the bone by the rain. The ground has been covered with long rugs, to keep your shoes and feet dry. It must look ridiculous from afar, but once you’re under the tents it’s not so bad. There are decorations and plants, making it look more lively. The only annoying thing is the sound of the rain pounding down on the tents and the constant stream of water on the sides.

The sound of horns startles a few of your ladies in wait, their gossip stopping abruptly. You fold your hands in front of your gown, staring forward as Suguru and Camilla join you, one on each side. Camilla squeezes your arm once for reassurance then drops her hands to her side. You look over to see that she’s wearing a pink gown with white lace.

The sound of King Gojo’s convoy becomes louder than the rain, and within moments a grand black carriage arrives in front of the tents. A few guards trickle out, and then you see that infamous white hair.

King Satoru Gojo is adorned in a long white cloak, covering most of what he’s wearing underneath. The cloak itself looks warm, something you’re wishing you had in this dress despite its long sleeves. He smiles at you as he steps forward, his advisors and guards slowly making their way behind him.

He extends his hand, “Queen —--,” your last name sounds foreign to your ears.

“It’s a pleasure to officially meet, Kind Gojo.” You take his hand, shaking it and releasing it. He steps closer, and you have to look up to meet his eyes. He’s as tall as Suguru.

“Please, call me Satoru,” his smile is infectious. You can’t help but smile back at him.

“Shall we get out of the damp air and into the warm castle?” You suggest and he nods.

You lead him inside, speaking a few orders to the staff waiting at the door. They take his cloak from him, revealing the dark blue attire he wears beneath. The silk fabric looks soft, and comfortable to travel in, but well enough to wear to greet you.

“I can have my butler, Sebastian, show you to your chambers if you’re tired. However, I would suggest some tea to warm up before resting until tonight.” You suggest, folding your hands in front of you and politely smiling at Satoru.

He smirks, stepping closer to you, uncomfortably close for someone you don’t know. “Will you be joining me for tea?”

Your face heats up and you're concerned you’re blushing. “I have a few things to take care of. However, if you would like I can have my schedule rearranged.”

Behind Satoru, you see Suguru sigh and shake his head. The rest of your advisors are smiling beside him, Camilla particularly happily grinning at you. She nods and you look back at the King in front of you.

“I’d be flattered if you joined me.” He holds out his arm and you slip yours in with his.

It feels foreign to hold onto another man as you walk down the hall, followed only by a few guards, a mix of yours and his. As you walk, you tell him about the castle, some facts you’d share with any guest in your home. He comments on the art on the walls and you find it interesting that he’s actually interested in what you’re saying.

“Do you have a preference for tea?” You ask, sitting on one of the blue velvet chairs in the tea room.

“Sugar, and lots of it.” He admits with a grin. “I am fond of sweets.”

“As am I,” you tell him. “I will have some cookies and cakes brought up with the tea,” you tell him and look to Sebastian who nods before leaving the room.

Now it’s just the two of you, alone in the room. There’s a long silence, you looking down at your hands in the lap of your dress and King Gojo looking around the room. After a few more moments, you decide to break the silence.

“Did you-”

“Are you-”

You and him speak simultaneously. Both of you begin to laugh, sighing at the awkwardness.

“I was going to ask if your travels were well, despite the rain in my country.” He looks at you as you speak, his blue eyes something you find hard to look away from.

“It wasn’t terrible, just a bit cold.” He admits. “The rain doesn’t bother me usually, but I will say it must be exhausting having an onslaught of it for weeks.”

“Months,” you tell him. “Nearly three.”

“I see why you’ve been looking for treaties then, given the drought from last year.”

“It has been a tough year,” you admit. “I’m doing what I can to keep the people at ease.”

Sebastian appears with a few others who set the tea and treats down between the both of you. You thank them before dismissing everyone. The hot tea warms your body, allowing you some time to think about what else you can talk about with Satoru without sounding like a weak ruler.

You watch as Satoru pours you both a cup of tea, setting the pot down and dropping six sugar cubes into the cup. You smile, taking three for yourself. Perhaps your sweet tooth is nothing comparable to his.

“Have you considered my offer?” He asks, and you cough.

“I believe that should be handled between our advisors in council.”

He laughs, “You don’t have to say yes to me now or even no. I would just like to know if this trip will be in vain. You’re not the only one with something to lose or gain.”

“What could you have to lose if I rejected the amendment and decided to look elsewhere for help?”

He frowns, turning to look out the window. “This rain isn’t natural,” he suggests. “What is to say it won’t creep up on my borders or that your people decide to leave because of it, seeking refuge in my kingdom, stretching our supplies thin?”

You hadn’t considered that possibility. “I have been considering it. I just can’t say yes without meeting you officially and knowing what I’m getting into.”

“We have met,” he teases. “If I recall, you left crying.”

“I’m sure most girls would cry if a cruel prince pulled her hair.” You shoot back, making him laugh.

“I was an unruly teen,” he admits. “I hope I can show you that I have matured.” He sets his teacup down.

“I hope I will show you I am more than a whiny child.” You smile and stand. “I’ll see you tonight. Please don’t hesitate to ask any of my staff to show you around. Sebastian is at your disposal as well.”

He nods, and you leave the room. You clench and release your fists a few times, trying to ignore the racing of your heart. Nothing you discussed is remotely concerning, but you are curious about his concerns. You need to meet with your advisors about this.

You need Suguru.

#suguru geto x reader #geto suguru x reader #satoru gojo x reader #gojo satoru x reader #📜. somebody else

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liquidstar · 1 year ago

Note

your ocs

BUT

in Re:Zero

how would they end up causing Subaru's deaths?

Omg that's such a fun question 😭😭😭 poor Subaru I'm about to kill him with ocs sorry

But here's what I think would happen:

In the case of Polaris I can see it being a fight caused by somekinda misunderstanding on her end and also on Subaru for being terrible at explaining shit. I don’t think she’d kill him on purpose through this but she does NAUGHT have good control over her powers so he might get an icicle through the heart or something. Typical day in the life and death of Natsuki Subaru though, who has been frozen like? 3 times? At least?

Saiph also can’t control his powers well once his sword is unsheathed- but it’s less so a case of physical control like with Polaris, and more so the kinda thing where the power overwhelms him and the more flames there are the less he realizes what he’s doing. So I’m picturing a scenario in which his sword is unsheathed for too long and Subaru is just caught up in either the fire or the sword. Preferably the latter, to be honest.

Bella has a very strict NO KILLING rule so in her case I think it would have to be a pure accident. Not like the other two did it fully intentionally either but I was still thinking of fights against each other. Idk exactly what it could be in this case, maybe something like Bella swinging her weapon at a monster but it ends up dodging, and Subaru somehow ends up in the way before she can redirect the swing. In this case for Maximal Drama it would totally have to be the case that she managed to redirect it just enough to make it a much slower death than it would’ve been if she had done nothing. This is important bc it would fuck her up more to kill than him to die, at this point, and hes gotta see that. For the drama.

Al is probably the most prone to not listening to Bella’s orders, is the thing. Meaning that even if she has a “no killing” rule as the leader, he’d break it if he felt he had to. Subaru can come across suspicious at times, due to a variety of factors, and if Al believed him to be somekinda genuine threat and saw no other alternative. I mean he’s probably the only one who’d actually be willing to kill a guy on purpose really. He’s always been just a little bit unwell and whenever he decides to enter his shounen rival “villain” era maybe he’ll kill him again who knows. I will say though for the record that either way it wouldn’t be something he’d find any sort of joy or pride in at all, and ideally he’d prefer to avoid bloodshed at all costs. But, you know, he wants to protect people At All Costs too. And when weighing the lives of your friends vs some random sketchy dude… Sorry dude.

Also like the thing about Subaru is that he really wants to help people and sort of play therapist even when he’s clearly encroaching on sensitive territory. Mira is repressing quite a lot- If not outright deluding herself in a few ways. I think that if Subaru tried to scratch the surface of this mind palace of hers, she probably wouldn’t react well. If she has a mental breakdown it could fuck with the wind real bad, and would probably get worse if he continues to try to talk to her. Basically imagine something like the “choose me” scene (iconic) but wind instead of fire. And this time the person he’s talking to is not listening at all but closing herself off further, air ball style. So there’s not really any escaping the winds, he’d either get swept away by them or hit by something and that’d be that. If you wanna get a bit darker with it she could end up using all the air present to create her “bubble” and there’d be no oxygen around so he’d just suffocate.

Felis kills him for knowing someone with the same name as her. She has to be special. The end. (Joke answer. They'd actually probably love each other lol)

#finn's ocs #im not putting it in the main rz tag since its moreso abt them than that

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chidoroki · 1 year ago

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182 Days of TPN - Day 95

Chapter 95: “Let’s Go Home”

Oliver is essentially the male-version of Emma with his view of Goldy Pond very similar to what she believed of Grace Field and the demon world itself.

We love a supportive parent, even if their kids wish for destruction. And aww the trio are so small and adorable. I’d love a story just about them and their several years spent at Goldy Pond. Hell, there needs to be more content of the GP trio in general. I’ll take literally anything.

Not to discredit Nigel and Violet, but it would be so much work for two people to watch over and guide 50+ kids, even with Lucas going with them.

Catch me crying over how sweet Oliver is. Also, that tiny flashback of Lucas being confused about Adam is cute. That kid certainly has a lot of questions surrounding him.

Y’all are just a bunch of self-sacrificial idiots and I love it. Ray could get along with them so well. I’d die to see him interact with the whole crew too.

Lucas once again being such a great dad by owning up to his mistakes (though I don’t think this one was even that bad since he was also suffering) and refusing to leave any of the children behind. I usually see people wish about how entertaining it could’ve been if Isabella met Yuugo, but Lucas is the real parent she needs to chat with. She could learn a thing or two from him.

Look how much my boy has grown! From not wanting to escape GF with the younger children simply because they were too young to understand and were bound to be a huge burden outside the wall, to now refusing to give up on anyone, no matter their age, potential, or how injured they are. Emma’s influence is so strong.

I wanna thank these kids for being so kind and ready to help out, but I also feel the need to apologize to them because aside from Theo, I remember none of their names. Wonderful additions to the family regardless!

Oh, I gotta say sorry to Adam as well because I forgot he was still around.. he’ll definitely be a big help during the long trip back.

Next on my list on content wish list is more of Ray just wearing the turtleneck. I know I should focus more on how he’s basically reciting both Norman & Emma’s words here, but c’mon, the turtleneck is such a good look! (Also, he looks super cute here.. and calm, which is surprising since he’s about to cauterize Emma’s wounds. I’d be freaking out but hey, he’s seems confident enough about it, so good on him.)

Aahh, even more memories I desperately wanted to see.

Emma’s dream continues to flourish and so quickly too, as it’s only been about two weeks since the escape. And Ray’s eyes look so pretty here wth.

Favorite panel/moment:

I can’t possibly just choose between these two moments because they’re equally as important to me as they are to the characters. Firstly, we got Ray offering his assistance to Violet & Nigel by guiding the 50+ kids along the three week route back to the shelter. This is so very important because he’s choosing other people over Emma aka his best friend/the girl he would give his very life for/the girl he promised to protect at all costs. This something he probably would’ve never done a couple months ago, but because it was Emma’s hope for everyone to survive and escape GP, of course he’s going to take charge of her wish when she’s down and out.

“He chose to escort a large group of children to safety, knowing he would be on edge for three weeks constantly worrying about Emma’s condition, instead of making the quick trip back with Yuugo because he knew how important it was to her that those kids, new members of their family, remained safe and feel what true freedom is.” - me, once again quoting myself because I’m lazy.

It isn’t like Ray’s making this decision haphazardly either. He goes the extra step to make sure Emma is well protected and given the best chance at survival, which means he’s gotta put all his trust into Yuugo (aka the dude he very much despised the previous day for allowing Emma to be snatched up by the poachers in the first place) to bring her back to the shelter in time. Also, this is the first time Yuugo calls Ray by name and I love how it parallels Yuugo using Emma’s name in ch90, as he agrees to follow each kid’s respective plans on both occasions.

#the promised neverland #tpn manga #182daysoftpn #chidoroki used chatter

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late-to-the-magnus-archives · 2 years ago

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Judgment Day: A Malevolent Fic

Faroe is nearly six.

It's time for her to take a step into the broader world of ruling as Hastur sees it, and that includes declaring judgment on guilty parties. But condemning to death is not easy for anyone, much less a little girl - and Nibbles, who couldn't care less about life or death, takes issue with Faroe's tears.

So Hastur gets her out of the way.

Written with @sepiabandensis.

Part of the Surrogate series.

AO3

---------

Faroe didn’t want to do it.

“You must, my child.”

She didn’t want to do it.

“My daughter, I have prepared you for this. You have witnessed my hand move against our enemies; you have watched as I mete out justice. It is time you learned to do the same.”

No.

The goat joined in, bleating.

“It is necessary, my dear one. Life feeds life. Life is, on occasion, the cost for transgression. It is necessary for ruling.”

Then maybe she wouldn’t rule.

“Faroe!”

It was so rare for daddy to be displeased with her. The shock of it sent her into an even rarer tantrum, even though she knew very well it wouldn’t get her what she wants.

She just needed to yell.

And then Nibbles tried to headbutt him. Actually tried.

Hastur had a headache. He’d received bad news. He was in a bad mood. That stupid goat almost pushed him right over the damn metaphorical edge.

But this was Her get, and he dared not kill it; and it was Faroe’s pet, and she would cry. So instead of raining fire and brimstone, he made a bubble-like pocket dimension and shoved the goat inside, then put them both in Faroe’s room for a time-out.

He was trying very hard to focus on the issue at hand. “He would dare?” he said to his spy.

“From all accounts, oh glorious lord,” said Tarn, on his knees, looking up as if Hastur hung the moon. “That which I overheard was not complete, yet had gone too far to be considered anything but intention.”

In other words, actual planned regicide. “Do we have proof?”

Tarn looked terrified. “I could gather none, my lord. Only what I heard.”

Hastur did not need proof, honestly—but it would be such a good opportunity to continue Faroe’s lesson.

Once she was done being absurd.

In the other room, muffled, his daughter continued to scream. He knew what this was. He recognized it: this was Arthur’s defiance, coming through.

His headache worsened. “I see,” he said to his spy, noting the tension of shoulders, the wild hope for approval, and sighed. That was, after all, the downside of breaking a human so their personal gardens flourished or died on Hastur’s good will: one had to provide that good will to water them. “It is well done.”

Tarn looked ready to cry for joy. “Th-thank you, my lord! My glory! The sun of my soul!”

Yes, yes. “Dismissed.”

Tarn bowed and scraped out, backward, genuflecting and all but singing praises.

So now there was a plot to kill his daughter, fomented by one of his stupid, forgotten offspring, and he couldn’t even talk to his daughter about it because she was currently melting down over perfectly reasonable education.

This was Arthur’s fault. Directly or not, it didn’t matter.

Blame gave him something to do (Tempt John? Infuriate him so Arthur was in pain? Where was the downside?), so Hastur headed his way.

He hadn’t expected to walk into the middle of a blazing row.

John didn’t want to do it.

“John, we have got to talk about this.

He didn’t want to do it.

“John… this is a problem. We have got to figure out our next steps.”

No.

The piano reflected Arthur’s frustration, translating it into big chords and fortissimo banging.

“What are you going to say? That we can just ignore it? That you don’t feel the pull, that you’re not in pain? You said I’m life support. The only people who need life support are dying, John!”

Then maybe he’d just die.

“John! You fucking moron!”

It had been so long since John and Arthur had had a real argument that John almost didn’t know what to do. He loved hearing the passion; he hated seeing the anguish on Arthur’s face, reflected in his direction no matter where he looked (Hastur had even put mirrors on the fucking ceiling).

But they weren’t going to talk about this. It was bad enough that John wanted, deeply, to be whole again. The last thing he needed was fucking Arthur Lester even pretending he had the right to make that choice.

“John, listen to me!

Nope.

He just needed to sulk.

What were they fighting about? Was this why his head hurt so much today?

(Hastur dismissed that thought before it had time to take root.)

It wasn’t hard to listen in, to lean on the mark, to peer into the nastiness that was Arthur’s mind and ignore any little thrill he might feel while doing so.

Well.

Arthur was on board?

That was unexpected. He hadn’t planned for that—for Arthur, of all people, to be considering that John had to rejoin.

What an unexpected gift! It was as if one of the two locks stubbornly keeping Hastur from his own treasure suddenly jiggled loose.

He had to be careful with this. Arthur was… obstreperous. Contrary in the extreme. If he realized, actively, that he was on Hastur’s side, he’d do an about-face out of raw, cussed stubbornness.

He could use the Faroe situation. Yes. That would do.

Hastur backed down the hall an appropriate amount, and let his power bloom.

“You’re being a child,” Arthur snaps, banging away at the same three chords just because. “You know, I was trying to be gentle about all this, but you’re being such an ass that I—”

Fuck. He’s coming.

Arthur stopped talking with an aggravated puff of air, and banged even harder.

A concert grand, John thought, could really take a pounding.

Hastur entered with the self-importance of a god in his own realm, wafting atmosphere like ozone. “Composer. Piece.”

“Oh, look, John,” said Arthur, who had the gall to be mutinous today. “We’ve lost our names and gone back to titles.”

Really? I hadn’t noticed, John jumped in, because they couldn’t only do one asshole at a time, apparently. I didn’t even realize we had company.

“We do,” said Arthur “Does it matter?”

Not one little fucking bit.

“Good.” And Arthur kept playing.

You’d think a human he’d already broken once would have the self-preservation not to behave like this, but it was Arthur.

Which brought Faroe back to mind. Which…

“Gentlemen,” said Hastur as though none of that had occurred. “I am here to inform you that there has been a direct threat on Faroe’s life.”

Arthur spun. “What?”

“It is nothing you need be concerned with, directly,” said Hastur as though it was all just fine. “I am informing you as a courtesy. You do not have a say in this.”

“She… will she be safe?”

“What do you think, Arthur? Do you think she’ll be safe? With me? Her father?”

Arthur. He’s riling you.

Arthur’s breath came faster. “You… what… what’s going to happen?”

“Simple: I am going to crush their stupid little settlement so hard that the very earth will reject their bones out of fear—once I have the evidence I need.” He didn’t really need it; the one behind this was one of his offspring, and he had the right to do as he pleased with it. Still, he wanted to teach her to start with evidence and move to intuition later, so for this case he had to—

“Can we help?” said Arthur.

John made a noise like somebody choked him.

Arthur was just fucking full of surprises today. “What?” said Hastur.

“Help. Can we help?”

Arthur, don’t be an idiot.

“No.” But now, Hastur was thinking. “Though I find it interesting you would offer. You’re not upset? I’m exposing my child to things I hardly think you’d find appropriate.”

A beat of silence, heavy, thick. “She’s a five-year-old girl. Anybody wanting to murder a little girl gets what they get. Can I help?”

Fuck, he was easy to point sometimes. Threaten Faroe, and all his stupid human morals went right out the…

Help… help! Oh, such an idea, Hastur now had! “No. You can’t.”

“What?”

“Enjoy his wellness today, John,” said Hastur. “It’s rare.” And he left, heading back the way he’d come.

“What did he mean by that?” Arthur said.

John sighed. He meant I’m being an idiot and wasting a good day.

“A good day?”

Play one of those stupid folk songs for me. The weird dirty Russian ones?

Arthur snorted. “Really?”

Yes. They’re funny.

“You’re not wrong.” Arthur clearly understood they weren’t going back to the topic.

They’d been dancing around it for a full year. If John had his way, they’d continue to dance, and never, ever discuss it.

He wasn’t going back to Hastur. He didn’t care what it cost.

Arthur played, and John enjoyed, and grudgingly admitted (only to himself) that he was grateful Hastur had talked some sense into him.

Help! What an idea! What a brilliant thought!

The plan came together as if he’d spent months crafting it. This would work so well.

Hastur swept toward his daughter’s bedroom, no longer concerned if she were still crying, because she, in this instance, was not the goal.

The gods-damned baby goat was.

Oh, Mother Goddess, Nibbles was pissed.

She couldn’t get out of the bubble.

She couldn’t even make it go in a chosen direction. It was connected to Faroe, somehow, following her through the room, but Nibbles’ many hooves and powerful bleats did nothing. She was stuck in the air like some damned wraith, unable to touch Faroe, watching her melt down.

Admittedly, Nibbles found Faroe’s distress confusing. Life fed life. Threats must be taken out. Nibbles had killed rats and more on Faroe’s behalf already. That was how it worked. What was the problem?

Maybe that didn’t matter. Faroe was so upset. And this baby human still wasn’t quite able to communicate the problem, leaving Nibbles to try to piece it together herself, which—

Hastur the Asstur came floating into the room.

“My daughter,” he said that gratingly warm voice, gathering Faroe up without hesitation, cradling her in his many squirming arms. “I am so sorry this has been so hard for you.”

She clung, of course, because Hastur was safety, because Hastur’s approval meant much.

Nibbles bleated her challenge.

And then, the unexpected: “Nibbles. I need to speak to you after this.”

Eh?

Nibbles was not sure she’d heard that right.

“There, there. It is a hard day, my precious Faroe; but you shall do what you must, as we who rule must do, and then it will all be over.”

“I want it to be over,” she sniffled, burrowing into Hastur’s squirming limbs.

“The only way for it to be over is to do what must be done.” Hastur held Faroe, and cooed at her, until she calmed down. “My daughter,” he said. “May I borrow your friend for a moment? We are going to discuss something important.”

Faroe sniffled. “What?”

“I have a secret mission for Nibbles. She can tell you after, but right now, it is of utmost importance. After all, I trust her, as do you.”

Well. Of course, Faroe trusted Nibbles, so she was all for it.

That was all well and good, but Nibbles didn’t trust Hastur for a second; he’d let Arthur be peeled in front of Faroe, after all.

Hastur crooked a tentacle in Nibbles’ direction and walked out the door, keeping her in the bubble until they were safely in the hall.

He didn’t even pop it in the air like a jerk. He lowered it to the floor first, gently.

Nibbles did not think she could be more suspicious now if she tried.

“I know you overheard earlier what is at stake.” Hastur was speaking to her as if she were…

Not a pet.

He’d never done that before.

She just eyed him from a hundred different eyes, a hundred different angles.

Hastur sighed. “I intend to move against these fools before they can harm her. And make no mistake—they fully plan to murder her. They possess some confusion that, once she is gone, I will accept a creature of their choosing in her place. Preposterous.” Hastur somehow gave the impression of smiling with a thousand teeth. “Foolish. Fatal.”

Nibbles could get behind this. Things that threatened Faroe should die.

“The challenge is that my spies are…” He hesitated. Sighed. “My spies are not enough to find the proof I need before acting. And then it occurred to me… you, spawn of Shub-Niggurath, Dark Young… you love her nearly as much as I do.”

Nibbles graciously let that bullshit slide. She knew who loved Faroe more.

“And you… are far more capable than any spies I currently have on hand.”

Then came silence, and Hastur clearly expected her to do something, or respond in some specific way.

She glared at him, suspicious, ears pinned–but head cocked. Listening.

“Would you be willing to spy on our enemy? To send to us direct proof of their plotting. To provide that which cannot be dismissed—the plot from their own mouths, spilled like poison? For you, I do not believe it would even be dangerous. For Faroe’s sake, we must make an example of them—but in order to do that, I need incontrovertible proof that they deserve the wrath coming their way. Then, and only then, can this be a proper warning to all who would follow.”

Nibbles was being given a mission.

An actual task, proper and important, to help keep Faroe safe.

But she would have to leave.

But Hastur would be there, to watch over her. And Hastur loved Faroe, even if it were only a fraction of the amount that Nibbles did.

These conspirators thought they could get past her. That, she realized, was the crux of the matter. She would not let them. She looked up at Hastur, standing as tall and as proud as she could, and she nodded.

Hastur sat with Faroe at his side. Their thrones were identical, though differently sized—black now, gold like marble veins running through them—and placed under grim, spare spotlights that made them all that was visible in the room.

There were many important beings here, but from the view of the throne, they stood in the dark.

They were silent, hulking shapes with occasional glinting eyes, with accidental power-leaks flashing green or arcing yellow.

Faroe did not wear one of her usual glittering dresses today. She looked tiny; she looked pale. She wore a sheath of black, thickened with leather armor; and atop her head was a crown, black and gold, the only point of reflection in the room.

“My people,” said Hastur, and it was a terrible sound, barely a voice, more an underground storm. “There has been… a breach of trust.”

Deathly silence in the room.

“The city of Sarkomand faced justice for its arrogance in ancient times,” Hastur said, “meeting deserved fate at the claws of the moon-beasts. Of late, it has been… repopulated.”

The word was damning.

“And those who chose to live there are fools.” Hastur waved his arms.

Between them, hovering in the air, appeared a war room.

There was no question of its purpose; upon the table was laid out a blasphemously accurate model of Carcosa, with significant points marked in tiny red flags.

The beings leaning over that table were varied, vast, not any one thing, but united in purpose and point. They were viewed, somehow, from above—as if from a dark corner, perhaps, a gathering of innocent shadow.

“She sleeps here,” said one, tentacle stabbing with frightening accuracy into the tower that held Faroe’s room.

“And the guard?”

“The goat.”

“Fuck,” muttered another. “Any luck finding an opening during the day?”

“No. She’s more guarded outside than in. This is our best shot. It has to be at night—and for the love of fuck, don’t shoot the fucking goat.”

“She’s human,” scoffs another. “It’ll only take one spell.”

Hastur made a motion as though ripping the image from the air, the violence of it and anger of it shuddering reality and making the witnesses groan.

He waited until they were silent again. “Faroe.”

She looked so tiny.

She looked so pale.

Her tiny rosebud lips trembled. Her cheeks were red, as if from crying. But damn if she wasn’t going to make her daddy proud. “They are guilty,” she said, as taught.

“Very good. And your judgment?”

She did her best with the word, and the over-pronunciation somehow made it more terrible, more powerful, more damning: “Execution.”

A soft whisper of movement among the gathered crowd; her word carried doom.

“So let it be written. So let it be done.” Hastur touched her back with one tentacle, gently.

She trembled, but sat tall, staring into the dark.

“I will discover the source of this leak,” Hastur said so casually, so calmly, not at all a threat in any way. “And what I do to those involved will make what becomes of Sarkomand seem like a dream. You are all dismissed.”

One by one, the important people shuffled out, afraid, subdued. Most had no idea who was guilty.

All were afraid they might be declared so.

And none—not even one—could see that tiny human as naught but a child anymore.

She cried into the night.

Hastur held her.

He waited, past the time Faroe fell asleep, for Nibbles to return.

“You did well,” he told her, as if Faroe had not clearly been sobbing. “You saved her life,” he told her, as if Faroe weren’t visibly upset even in sleep.

And then Hastur just fucking left, and Nibbles stared at her charge, so tiny, face blotchy and pale, and knew something had gone terribly wrong.

Hastur was not at breakfast. Scuttlebutt said he was laying waste to a city with severe prejudice.

Arthur and John were subdued. Whatever argument lay between them had soured things, and they weren’t talking much.

Faroe was subdued. She still sniffled, on and off, and poked at her porridge without joy.

Nobody at breakfast spoke, but the palace was abuzz, and soon enough, Nibbles figured out just what had been done: she’d been gotten out of the way for what Faroe was made to do.

This was not the victory she had envisioned.

She tried to feel better. She hunted through the palace, smashing rats, scaring anyone who’d ever so much as looked sideways at her charge.

Nibbles did not feel better.

After breakfast, Faroe went to her room—not outside, not to play, not even to lessons—and that’s where Nibbles found her. She opened Faroe’s door with a practiced ease.

Faroe sat up in bed, startled. “Nibbles?”

Nibbles walked to the girl’s bedside, head low. Ashamed. Slowly her head turned towards the golden crown, its black stones glittering in the dim light of evening.

It was beautiful. It was cruel.

Faroe curled up, pulling her knees to her chest. “...I had to, Nibbles. I saw what you showed us—everyone did. Daddy was right.” Her breath hitched. “Daddy w-was right.”

She broke down into sobs and Nibbles stepped forward, a soft noise of despair leaving her as she nosed against her Faroe’s arm.

The girl twisted, wrapping her arms around the goatling’s neck, and nestled her face into one of the gentler cracks in Nibbles’ plating while she sobbed.

Nibbles lay her chin on Faroe’s back, which rose sharply with every desperate inhale and sob, and tears welled in Nibbles’ many eyes.

This was no victory.

This was a failure.

Hastur did not return until evening, when he threw a party to celebrate the destruction of his enemies (including his offspring, which no one was willing to say).

Nothing more was said about it at all.

#malevolent fic #malevolentpod #kiy malevolent #faroe lester #nibbles lester #malevolent fanfic #surrogate series #hastur malevolent #arthur lester #john doe malevolent

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augment-techs · 2 years ago

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What happens now? Do we have another go?/Do we bow out and take our separate roads?- Allies or enemies by the crane wives

Kim and Sharkie

(I'm not gonna lie, this was really hard and after five drafts, this was also as far as I could get without tossing my computer out the window. I apologize.)

Of course since Tommy had a tragic backstory, it really did stand to reason that maybe Kim had one too.

Not tragic, not fully in the style of Shakespeare or Bronte, but...less than idyllic.

Kim was made for the bright lights, big city setting of Los Angeles; born and raised, and raised in the manner of the upward mobility of her family money and "good breeding" as her grandparents used to say when she saw them at holiday parties that included fake snow on pine trees three stories tall and covered in decorations that cost more than some families made in a year. She went to ballet when she was three and moved onto gymnastics when she was five; had the best tutors and trainers and parents who (she thought; was pretty sure) loved her and only wanted the best.

She also went to a private school before they moved to Angel Grove, from kindergarten to Freshman year, with her best friend that, well...

Sharkie reminded her of Bulk and Skull, when she thought about her between being a Ranger and her so-called "normal" life.

Pretty girl with a petty, mischievous attitude, a preference for nonconformity that often left her in trouble with teachers, and a complete disinclination to ever use her real name--though why, Kim never understood; Stella Angel wasn't such a bad name.

(It was the roots that the name carried that the girl didn't like to think about. If she had told Kim...well, she might not have fully comprehended what it was to be an immigrant and an abuse survivor, but she might have been more sympathetic. Even though there was no certainty in that, either. Kim could look back and realize she was rather innocent in her sheltered life and in that way, ignorant.)

Sharkie picked Kim up off the floor in gym class the day she got her first period and thought she was going to die, the other girls sneering and giggling and the teacher trying to keep Kim calm as she hyperventilated. Sharkie just told the others to get out of the way and carried the tiny brunette princess style into the shower room so she could rinse off and calm down, and handed her a thick pad for the spare underwear she yanked out of her own locker (they were cute and purple with a pair of pink ribbons sewn into the sides no bigger than a dime) and asked rather calmly if she would have preferred a tampon, "Since they last longer and you won't have to freak out if the pad leaks a little."

Kim had been too out of sorts to really think about it at the time, except that she didn't want to put anything inside her that looked like it would hurt, and the instructions weren't very helpful. Sharkie had merely shrugged and gave Kim a couple for later in case she changed her mind.

She walked out to tell the teacher Kim could talk to her, and spent the rest of the week tormenting the "little bitches" that tried to give Kim a hard time about something, "Totally normal; not her fault her parents weren't looking out for her with basic information."

Kim had her own sort-of friends, and her parents had their expectations of her that kept piling up and stifling her as they got closer and closer to the date she wasn't yet aware of that marked their moving to Angel Grove and away from all that she knew, but she tried to be something close to friendly with the girl that had looked out for her best interests in her own abrasive little ways.

They had lunch together in the art room sometimes, Sharkie chewing on a tongue sandwich between drawing charcoal shadow monsters and breaking glass and ceramics just to paste them back together into something else entirely that looked both scary and wonderful; kind of like her.

They went to the mall, sometimes, when being at home got to be too much for Kim, trying to block out her parents sniping at each other, and Sharkie sometimes goaded her into trying out new styles; grunge and punk and extremely femme or academic or--something that nobody would ever see the pictures of or Kim would walk directly into the bottom of the ocean--honest to god southern gothic. Everyone at school gave them a wide berth for a week when they made a bet that Kim couldn't handle wearing so much black and makeup and Sharkie couldn't handle going for something so pastel and girly.

They both lost because it was the summer five days before Kim's parents told her they were moving; Kim came close to suffering heatstroke and Sharkie almost caught on fire from showing so much pale skin without remembering to put on sunscreen for the boardwalk or getting Kim to go to the fair before it moved on.

When Tommy talked about Tyler and growing up in New York in the aftermath of her being so fucking mad at him for going off on his own to infiltrate a secret society of ninja, she didn't let up on her pouting and guilt tripping, but she could understand the need to do what you could for someone that cared about you when you didn't know you needed someone like that.

He showed her a photo they took at one of those little booths for tourists, tiny and with clothes too big for them, but happy in the moment with each other.

Kim showed him one similar, but not quite after the Eltarian War and the new surge of rebuilding sites and feeling like she kept missing running into a familiar face she almost didn't think about so often, phantom feeling of her hanging out in the girl's bathroom that almost none of the teachers went into, smoking a joint with the dates Bulk and Skull had at their failed Homecoming.

"A drug Renaissance in Angel Grove? Really?"

"Yeah, I know, it's fucking stupid, but Grace asked if I--if we, actually, because I am not good at this--could look into this on the down-low because the police are worthless and some of Grace's employees are worried about their kids dropping like flies at the college."

"Is it really that bad?" Matt steepled his fingers like the roof of a house before waving them a little back and forth, thumbs hooked and reminding her--awkwardly--of a little child trying to make shadow puppets.

"Bulk beat the shit out of some guy that offered to sell him some last week for distribution after the guy had already tried his luck following Skull around like a creep and asked basically the same thing but, like, the wrong way? And the poor bastard reported him to the school security guard under the impression that he was gonna snatch some Freshman. So, yeah, I'd say it's pretty bad."

"No, I meant the drugs--although, thank you for that information; that actually explains...some stuff going on with those two," the two of them keeping court with the other loners and stragglers and being less impulsive and more protective lately came to mind, but Kim needn't comment on that when Matt knew too, "Anyway, is it something like meth or cocaine?"

"Eh, I think it's more like some fast acting roofies? Terona tried to explain it like I'm five, but all I got was that the first symptoms are usually waved away as just general dizziness from drinking, followed by either lowered or increased body heat, and then blacking out of memory even while conscious at the time. Most of the people reported not remembering anything beyond looking for water or a bathroom and then waking up in various states that heavily implied assault. Two college students ended up in a coma because the offenders used to much of the drug and just left them to the elements after...Just after."

Kim sighed, thinking of all the schoolwork she already had piled up, the little class of beginner gymnasts as Ernie's she needed to teach the next day, the promise to take Aisha on a girl's only shopping quest after realizing both their closets were in sorry need of improvement...

Still, she was getting better at doing the right thing, and the words just fell out with as much ease as anything else in her life, "Yeah, yeah. Lemme just talk to the others. Maybe me and Billy can get Bulk and Skull talking about the party circuit they mentioned and we can grab an invite without seeming too suspicious."

Salt and water poured in a glass and pressed to her lips.

Between the swallow and the burning of the vomit it brought up--bright blue, never a good sign when she'd been drinking her precious color from the wine cooler selections she'd heavily watered down--Kim was aware of the girl holding her hair back and the look of distaste across her face as she told Skull to get Bulk and start clearing out the drugged drinks (bless him, bless him for noticing and getting someone with more experience; she'd hate to think what would have happened otherwise).

When she was done vomiting up the foam and toxin, and blinked at the other girl, Kim suddenly felt as though she'd scratched open an old wound without realizing it.

"Hope you didn't develop an eating disorder with all the monsters that run around here, Kimmy."

The hair was longer and wilder, the clothing not too different from what Kim expected the girl to grow into liking, the makeup popping in such a dark shade compared to such gray skin. The accessories of silver hoop earrings and black pewter knuckle rings shouldn't have drawn Kim's eyes, but they stood out in the kitchen as she slowly came back into some semblance of her right might and kept her from looking directly into the other (beautiful) face.

Then she doubled up and puked on the combat boots that went thigh high and looked expensive, yet well used.

"I was kidding."

#ask fill #prompt fill #boom! comics power rangers #MMPR #mighty morphin comics #ggpr #go go power rangers comics #Sharkie #Kimberly Hart #eugene skull skullovitch #matt cook

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zwiebelii · 3 months ago

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uhhh tw animal sickness, bc my cat isn't doing well right now, and tw for general me not getting along with my parents, especially my mom

My cat is currently sick, he was basically vomiting out all the kibble right after eating it, for 4 days. He's sort of fine now, we bought more expensive food which is specifically for cats who have stomach problems, and he can eat that. He also poops normally now (he didn't poop for a while because, well, he puked everything right up), and generally he seems fine, but today at 6 am my mom and I woke up because he was coughing and choking, and trying to vomit, even though nothing came out. So the timeline is, he was vomiting for 4 days, now he had 3 days where he was sort of alright, and now this, and yeah - I'm worried. Especially since my parents have never really cared about his health that much, and he is morbidly obese, because whenever he started meowing because he was bored and wanted to play, they would just feed him to make him shut up. He's now 15 years old, and generally it would be good to take him to a vet to just see if he's alright.

Also, my best friend works as an assistant to a vet, and I've been texting with her about all this, and she also stressed that it is time for him to visit a vet for once, no matter how much it costs. Plus he is still alright mood-wise, he still plays a lot, he is very curious, and just not at the point of seniority like my parents like to pretend he is. He won't die from a visit to the vet, ffs

Now all of this has been making me worry, and I've spoken up more about how my parents are overfeeding him, or that the sausage they like to feed him is unhealthy, etc. etc., and this has led to a fight, and it's just once again made me realise just how miserable i am here

In 38 days I can finally move out for real. Until the end of february, it's just a temporary accommodation, and I have to look for a flat for the time after that, but jesus christ. I am SO glad that I will be gone from here for real. My parents' behavior is not normal, specifically my mom's behavior. She's constantly controlling everyone, everyone needs to do as she says especially me because, well. haha, sexism and internalised misogyny, am i right boys 😎.

i am currently writing my thesis, and i have to stay home to do that. she gets pissed at me for staying at home. for a while i would go to the library to write - she would get pissed because i could easily work from home, why are you away all the time? is it because you hate us? you want to avoid us? you ungrateful bitch of a daughter, you're just trying to avoid cleaning, yadda yadda yadda

if i cook something, i get criticized for my choice of food, for using too much of the ingredients, for cooking too slowly. if i don't cook, i get called a freeloader.

it doesn't matter what i do, it's always bad in my mom's eyes, and i am always the worst and dumbest and most stupid daughter anyone could have. if i mention the tiniest criticism of something, i am "just like my dad's shitty family", i get called a "jew who never stops complaining" (yeah the antisemitism is still going, babes 😎), meanwhile she starts screaming out of nowhere, never pays attention to something like her facial expression (which is fine! i dont think everyone should be hypervigilant about what their face looks like. but she tells me to fix my face at nearly every occasion), and she's just all around rude to everyone here

my whole life she's been telling me that i am a rude, gross person, that i'm controlling, that i snap way to quickly, and you know what! i'm not! i have enough people in my life now that i know that that is not me! she is, in fact, projecting her own issues at me. and that sorta brings me to the last point-

there's hope. only 38 more days of this hell. i won't have to deal with them daily, i won't be confined to my room anymore, i'll be able to cook whenever i want, to leave the house whenever i want, to freely pick and choose what i want to do with my life, without this constant cloud of criticism for, quite frankly, RIDICULOUS things looming over me. technically, after 34 days, i have to submit my thesis, and after that, i do not need to stay at home. i can just fuck around all over town, and then, on December 1st, full move out.

maybe i should try doing a countdown to that? i would post it on my other blog (@zwiebel-studies). that might motivate me to get my shit together and get more organized, and provide me with a sort of.... "guiding start".

#my posts #sorry for the long rant #i'm just so pissed #but also. i only have to hold on a tiny bit longer #then i hopefully never have to return to this shithole

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an-illusion-no-a-mirage · 9 months ago

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My sister is praised , her beauty astounds I love her but still the jealousy grows

Like a dark rooted seed it takes place in my heart and while I starve it and try to let it die , others words water it and give it affection

Shes so beautiful she will be a real stunner when she grows up...

And of course you will be pretty too..

Not I am beautiful

Not I will be beautiful

Just im pretty too

My features are mine and unusual I think

My nose too big and my eyes are too small

My chin is weak and my lips too thin

I know from a young age that my face is not model worthy

But it doesn't matter

My brain is quite quick and it's only in the dark that the voices taunt ..

Such a shame for a beauty to birth a beast

I grow and my body stretches

My limb are long and my movements are awkward

I don't understand how people make friends

It's ok though because I live in a dream

In my mind I'm smooth and I'm witty I'm strong and I'm fierce

I attract attention with ease and everyone sighs at how stunning I am and how I control the crowd with a laugh and a smile

In my real life its hard I become aware that men's gazes linger on young girls and young men,

Questions between men about how much I would cost , send me deeper into my dreams where everything's safe,

I never quite get it the gift of the gab my voice is full of excuses and dreams I can't speak

I day dream and forget what the point of anything is,

I struggle through school always wondering why

Am I not pretty enough for the men? So I don't even try.

I'm 16 and suddenly boys pay me heed but their attention is bad and makes me feel weird

I'm 17 and finding myself wooed by a much older man, he's horribly smooth

I'm 18 and a mother I'm terrified inside,

I'm 19 and single a mother to 1 and one on the way

I'm 20 and there is 2 children in my life, I'm drowning please help me, I can't survive

I lose my children, It's for the best but now there is nothing of me left I turn to sex it's the one thing that helps and I find myself afraid to say no

If I say no , then what am I worth?

It's the only thing left that I can control

So I say yes to everyone who asks

Sex is just sex so why do I cry

My emotions are numb

Yet I still open my legs or go down on my knees

What else am i good for ?

How else can I please?

Its 2009 and Im dying inside

I hate who I am so I drink away the pain

Panadol is fine, just take 2 more

Another 2 is fine

Just keep adding more

It's fine because it's legal, I say to myself

As I drink some more vodka and take some pills

I end up with a partner that said i was his

It's nice to feel wanted

For more then my tips

It's hard

Hes mean and he's cruel

So I start gaining weight

No one wants a fat chick right?

I get my kids back

But this is not right!

There is another life with me

I NEED SOME HELP please

It's 2014 and I'm finally free

But I'm broken inside

#my writing #poem?#vent #needed to get this off my chest #im mostly ok now #for the void

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deadsince1973 · 7 months ago

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THANK YOU!!!! I'M SO GLAD SOMEBODY SAID IT!!!!

I've been meaning to make a post about this for the past couple of weeks and I've been putting it off because I'm lazy, but now I don't have to, because this post said everything better than I ever could!!!!!!

I'm sure what they were going for was the reveal a few episodes later that he wasn't locking her up for selfish reasons but to protect the whole universe, since she's the last seal and all. The most generous thing I can say about that is that it was a writing choice I don't love. The same as with the reveal of why Xing Zhi was toying with her emotions (because, as an Ancient God, he's not allowed to fall in love), I believe that information was kept from the audience in order to create suspense at the cost of making Xing Zhi an unsympathetic character.

However, personally, I don't buy that. The idea that Xing Zhi had trapped Shen Li in the Heaven Beyond Heaven in order to protect her and thereby protect the whole universe was suggested by other characters and never confirmed by Xing Zhi himself. I take him at his word, that his primary motivation for locking Shen Li up was to keep her for himself.

OP added in the comments that even if he locked her up for her own protection, that's selfish and taking away her agency. I completely agree! I might have even liked that less, because such actions are usually framed as romantic sacrifices on the part of the protector, and I think we can all agree that locking someone up to try to force them to love you is horrible, and I would rather watch something obviously horrible than something horrible framed as romantic.

But this theft of Shen Li's agency applies to the idea that Xing Zhi locked her up to protect everything and everyone else too. Imagine if he had told Shen Li that the Three Realms depended on her staying alive. And then Shen Li had still insisted on charging into a battle she was likely to die in. In that case, I wouldn't have minded Xing Zhi locking Shen Li up at all! If all their discourse in the palace had been about duty, I would have been on Xing Zhi's side!

(Actually, that might have been a nice way for the drama to follow through on its theme that duty is more important than love. As it is, I feel like that really fell through in the last two episodes when Shen Li gave up her duties to join Xing Zhi in living a life of idleness. It might have been nice for Xing Zhi to finally be the one to put duty before love and tell Shen Li he was locking her up in order to fulfill his duty of protecting the Three Realms, even though if he had his way, he would see the woman he loved be free and strong. That would also have been some real character growth from when he was constantly clinging to her and wanting to protect her.)

But that's not what they talked about! All he talked about was how much he loved her and how much he wanted her to love him! Even if the most generous interpretation is true and his primary motivation was to protect the Three Realms, why did he do that? What in-universe motivation did he have for not telling her why he was locking her up? All he was doing was taking away her chance to save the universe by choosing *not* to fight. This whole idea doesn't make sense to me, and even if it did make sense, it would still be a bad one.

In conclusion, there are three possible motivations for Xing Zhi locking Shen Li up: because he was insecure about her returning to him if he let her go, to protect her, and to protect the Three Realms. While the second motivation is the most consistent with his character, only the third motivation is unselfish and is the one I believe the show wanted us to believe. But what they actually showed us was the first one.

I didn't like this, and it is my biggest problem with this show by a mile.

haven't posted about cdramas in a bit, but I've been burning through The Legend of Shen Li this week and while I've been enjoying the slower pace while plot threads gather in the background, the romantic aspect, the not so subtle discussion of fate and responsibility, etc. something popped up around EP 33ish and now I have to rant about it.

(Spoiler warning)

The biggest obstacle to Shen Li and Xing Zhi is the fact that He's a divine Immortal and as the last one left, he has a responsibility to protect the three realms without using his powers for selfish purposes.

At the same time, Xing Zhi is lonely and bored and utterly isolated by being the last of his kind so he's definitely a sympathetic character.

Right up until, having saved Shen Li and nursed her back to health, finally returning to the heavenly realm, Xing Zhi brings her to his realm and proceeds to basically imprison Shen Li there where she won't get hurt

and. like.

this is what gets me. the whole show builds up to this. Shen Li is engaged to someone else, but after leaving the human realm, she acknowledges her duty and tries to convince herself to focus on what her role ought to be. Xing Zhi on the other hand can't help but tease and fluster Shen Li, keeping her emotions entangled with him and keeping her from her duty. She calls him out on this and he tries to course correct several times only to fall back into bad habits again later.

at the end of the day, Xing Zhi's love for Shen Li is selfish. he's lonely and bored and here comes this captivating woman who loves him! but when she matures a little and sees that she can't be with him for the sake of the world, she tries to back away and stay focused on her duty, to her realm, her soldiers, etc. And! without! fail! Xing Zhi drags her back. until finally, having recovered from torture and regaining her powers, she's determined to return to her realm and resume her responsibilities and see her people after being presumed dead and what does he do? he traps her. against her principles. why? to keep her forever for himself.

the most telling and frustrating thing is a conversation where Shen Li says, "this relationship isn't the sole reason for my existence." talking about how she loves him, wants to be with him, but also needs to be with and protect her people. to which Xing Zhi replies, "Not the sole reason, but a reason for your existence." So the audience is relieved for all of 10 seconds before, in response to Shen Li claiming that she is not his pet bird that he can't keep her in a cage, Xing Zhi proceeds to cage her.

I just—

I would root for them much more if there was some sense of duty on his part instead of him continually pulling her away from hers. Like, yeah it's unfair, we get that. However love is not selfish. It needs to be selfless or it just becomes possessive obsession.

i haven't finished yet. Still have 5-6 episodes to go, but I needed to rant for a sec

might post again about this one, but who knows?

#The Legend of Shen Li #opinion #original #<- even though I'm not the OP on this post I put a lot of ideas I wanted to put in an original post here so I want to be able to find this #post with my other hot takes later

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playmiya · 3 years ago

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SERIOUS GAMERS! — one piece as genshin players

luffy is an ar 43 childe main

childe main luffy !!! mayhem !!! maniac !!! cannot use bow mode for shit!

basically explores his overworld like crazy ... has 100% exploration on dragonspine because he said fuck sheer cold we die like real men :D aka a 100 times until he realises .... fire .... fire good

does not use healers. what are they. whats this wack 1000+ hp increase. is it free? do the game gods suddenly like him?

can't build characters asks law for help who fucking busts a blood vessel seeing all the 5 stars hes sacrificed on shitty artifacts (DEF% circlet on diluc, cries real tears)

has bad luck on pulls though its crazy

he doesnt even save primos,,,,

ust pulls and didnt know about losing the 50/50 he'd just be happy either ways

"haha look a character!"

THIS IS YOUR 5TH QIQI BRO

also randomly joins worlds and steals stuff . he has no etiquette Smh

does not do abyss or if he does its just a headache he has no idea he doesnt read the opponents info he has no team synergy he is just random bullshitting go in this sanji is an ar60 yae main

has raised all thee waifus but he has a thing for being humiliated by women so ... yeah .. yae

yae defender since day #1 !! he has fought whole wars for her on twitter when people were saying her kit is shit ... he started not one but 3 fan accounts

his team is basically yae, raiden, jean and lisa (whos going to tell this man theyre all girlfriends)

is now getting ready to ascend to the title of no.1 yelan main in the whole wide world .. is sacrificing his sanity to give her 300% crit damage

like luffy he does not give a fuck about the storyline, just plays for the characters (ahem.... ladies .... is also subtly growing on ayato)

hes also a big whale. does that surprise anyone? no?

r5 donut c6 kokomi and is trying to get her to deal big damage #RoadTo100K

skips dialogue

tries to cook some ingame dishes, his almond tofu and sweet madame are actually kind of good! robin and nami have benefitted from this one

zoro is an ar56 ayaka main

got into the game because luffy and sanji were heavily into it and he's fallen into a deep whirpool of genshin ayaka impact

does not give a fuck about the story + dialogue

initially played it for funsies but as soon as he saw ayaka Goddamn

compares sword styles with her secretly its so Cute

has raised her shes insane crazy 500k when he coops people clap they scream they shout

too bad shes the only built character he does not give a fuck about anyone else

ayato came and hes building him also but everyone else is irrelevant. THIS IS AYAKAS WORLD!

does not like traveller since hes not interested in ayaka

wants to punch the shit out of him

generally annoys him

keeps on whining about how traveller uses a shitty ass blade, how ayakas much better than him etc etc.

takes boss fights very Seriously is very Good at them also

does not know how hes gotten to ar 56 but will #grind until shes c6 (hes f2p and benefitted GREATLY during the ayaka banner)

ace is an ar60 eula main

whale whale whale whale

needs to touch grass hes spent his LIFE INSURANCE MONEY on this game

loves everything about it

follows the story, loves the characters, worldbuilding everything

surprisingly dedicated a lot of braincells to it! built his characters fr

he streams it also does stupid challenges n shit, ie. i die i roll

it's him and his eula against the world! he loves a woman that can kick serious ass

very fun to coop with. will go to heart island with you. will carry you.

36 stars spiral abyss like bro is full mental illnessing it he wants the primos even though he can go to the shop and basically go batshit

his luck is very bad though like he has NEVER gotten a character before 60 pity

his c6 mona speaks for herself! and so does c6 keqing!

would have mained childe but heart of depth domain sucks 4 years out of his lifespan per run (1 like = 1 decent crit piece for ace)

has hit 1mil with eula . but at what cost?

law is an ar57 xiao main

im sorry he instantly connected with him

the emo fatherlessness is universal

basically built the entire team around xiao, eg. xiao/jean/albedo/zhongli

also admires zhongli and would have mained him but he saw emo boy first

has primordial and him at c1 but he has never paid, he's not that deep in yet

just has decent luck and saves pragmatically

like luffy he has his evil moments and steals stuff from players (has gotten threats of doxxing/being cussed out)

but other than that his genshin routine is doing dailies, event and then hes out!

follows lore actively though, finds the various cross cultural references very fun

would probably pull for baizhu if he becomes playable

#genshin impact #one piece #law x reader #zoro x reader #one piece headcanons #sanji x reader #luffy x reader #ace x reader #one piece fluff #one piece x reader #monkey d luffy #straw hat pirates #portgas d ace #if this flops im going to kms ... also genshin girls add me 😍😍 !!#[ tracklisted ]

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sortasirius · 4 years ago

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Dean Winchester be like:

I hate myself because it’s what my father taught me to do. I hate myself because it’s a defense mechanism. I use sarcasm to cover up the fact that I believe I am worthless. I raised my brother into a good man, that’s the only good I’ve ever done. I’ve saved some people, they don’t say thank you, but that’s okay. I wish I could have been the man my father wanted me to be. I break everything I touch. All the people I love I end up killing or leaving me. I am broken. I don’t do romantic love, it’s asking for me to get my heart broken, more broken than it already is. I sold my soul to a demon so I could save my brother, because he’s the best thing I ever did, the only good thing. I’m afraid to go to Hell, but I pretend I’m not, because what’s the alternative?

Hell proved that I was the person I always knew I was, a bad person, willing to torture to get out of pain. I met an angel, he’s not like I thought. He’s a soldier, like me, he’s taking orders from a father he can’t see. He starts out as an ally, but he’s different than the others, they say he likes me. He’s awkward, he stands too close to me sometimes. I started the Apocalypse because I wasn’t strong enough. My brother is going down the wrong path, and I don’t know how to stop it. The angels tell me Lucifer has to rise, but the one that pulled me out of Hell disobeys to help me stop it. I think I should consider him a friend. Lucifer rises anyway.

The angel is on the run from Heaven, he’s a good guy, I like him a lot, more than I think I should. I don’t know what to do, if I say yes to Michael, we can save some people. Maybe I’ll get to know peace, maybe my father will be proud of me then. The angel and my brother are angry at me, but I’ve always been a coward, they just don’t know it. But they know me best, I can’t say yes to Michael if it means disappointing them.

My brother goes to the cage with Lucifer and Michael, the angel disappears, and I’m left to pick up the pieces, living a life I feel like I stole from somebody else. I always sleep with a gun and holy water under the bed, even though I know every entrance is secure. My brother comes back, but he’s different now, he’s not the same, I should have looked for him. I feel guilty. We found out his soul is gone, his soul, his soul. The angel is back, but he’s no real help. I kill myself to speak to Death, who brings back his soul in exchange for me playing Death, where I learn a few hard lessons.

I find out the angel has been working with our enemies. Why does it feel like my heart is broken when he won’t meet my eyes? I leave him to the demons, but not before one last look. I’m not sure why. The idiot, he ends up dying trying to get souls from Purgatory, desperate to win his war in Heaven. Why does everyone leave me? The Leviathan are out there, a new threat. At least I know how to kill, so I won’t have to think about the muddy trenchcoat in the trunk of my car. I lose the closest thing I have to a father with a bullet to the brain. I feel like I’m spinning out of control. My brother loses his mind. The angel comes back, he doesn’t recognize me, that hurts. When he does remember me, I tell him we need him, but I really mean that I do.

I get sent to Purgatory, I meet a vampire turned ally turned new best friend, but I won’t leave without the angel, I can’t leave without the angel. We find him, he was running from me, why does everyone run from me? We make it out of Purgatory, the angel gets left behind. It turns out my brother didn’t look for me. Why am I so dispensable? The vampire is the only one I can trust now. I dream about the angel, about the way I couldn’t save him. I feel like I can’t save anyone these days. I see the angel in the air around me, am I going crazy? But then he shows up behind me, why do I care so much about him? I don’t even care where he came from, as long as he’s here. My brother takes on trials, they start to hurt him. We find a place to call home. I’ve never had my own bedroom before. The angel is distant, I wish I could reach him. He doesn’t answer my prayers. He and I find the angel tablet, he hits me. I tell him I need him, never able to tell him that I think I might love him too. He snaps out of it then walks out of my life again. I wish I was lovable. I almost lose my brother to the trials, he has to know I can’t lose him, he’s all I’ve got. The angels fall, I wonder about my angel, if he’s alright.

My brother is dying, and I make a deal with an angel to save him. My angel says he’s a good guy, and I’m too desperate to vet him properly. I watch my angel, now a human, die in front of me, the angel in my brother saves him, it’s one of the only times I’ve ever put someone else over my brother. I feel guilty about that. I have to kick my angel out, it tears me in half to do it, but I have to protect my brother. I watch the angel from a gas station window, I try to find the courage to go see him. I use humor to hide how much I miss him. My brother finds out about the angel, which cost the life of a kid I was supposed to protect, he’s so angry at me. Well, I deserve it this time. I take the Mark of Cain to defeat Abaddon, it can’t be all that bad. I start to lose my grip on myself. My angel gives up an army for me, and it’s the closest I feel to being me in months. My brother and my angel try to stop it, but it’s too late. I die in my brother’s arms.

I wake up with black eyes. I don’t care about anyone, anything. There’s a tiny part of me that’s screaming to wake up, but I drown him out easily enough. My brother finds me, says he wants to cure me. I don’t want it, I don’t want to be me, not feeling is the best thing that’s ever happened to me. They do cure me though, my brother and my angel, and waking up from the blackness is like surfacing from deep water. For a while, I feel loved. But after what I did, I don’t feel like I deserve it. I’m still not me, and when my friend, who I loved like a sister is taken, I go off the deep end again. It’s too easy, but violence is all I know. The angel tries to stop me. I have him where I want him, a blade to the heart and this is all over. But I still can’t kill him, I still can’t kill the angel. Death tells me I have to kill my brother. I almost do it. But killing Death releases me, and I’m me again. Sometimes I still wish I wasn’t.

I have this connection to this Darkness. It scares the hell out of me. I wish I understood it, I wish I could stop it. Am I pulled towards the Darkness because I, myself, am darkness? Is it because I am, because I’ve always been bad? I lose the angel to Lucifer himself, how did I not notice until it was too late? Why would he leave me like this? Will I ever get him back? My head is foggy around the Darkness, but not when it comes to him. I just wish I could get through to him. Lucifer taunts me, my heart rips in half. We get the angel back, but nothing good can last in this life, can it? God himself returns, I have to sacrifice myself to stop the Darkness. I’ll do it, because of course I will, if I have an opportunity to do some good, I’ll take it. The Darkness doesn’t kill me. She thanks me.

My mother is alive. It’s everything I’ve always wanted. I have to learn fast that she’s not what I thought. That’s hard. Me and my brother end up in prison for trying to kill Lucifer, and we find out this girl is going to have his kid. How will we kill someone innocent? I can’t think about that, I’m a killer, I’ll kill if i have to. The angel kills a reaper to save me, but what will happen to him? We start looking for this kid, but do we even want to find it? The angel nearly dies for me, he tells me, my family he loves us. I wish I could tell him the same, but the words won’t work right in my brain, so I do what I always do, I look away. The angel finds the girl, but the kid inside her gets to him, and he runs away from me. Why does everyone run from me? We find them just in time to find a rift to another world, and my brother has to drag me away from the angel, who is going to sacrifice himself to kill Lucifer. He comes back, but before I can say the words I’ve been holding onto for so long, he dies in front of me, only this time, it’s real. My mom is taken from me too, and I’m left by the angel’s side, staring up at the sky, wondering why, why me?

I bury the angel, my brother insists we can’t kill the kid, even though it’s his fault my mom is gone and the angel is... I beg God to bring him back, please, bring him back. You owe me this, please bring him back. He doesn’t listen. I’m alone. We burn the angel, and I try to learn to live with regret and grief and crippling pain all at once. I hate the kid, this is his fault. I kill myself again to save some souls, but also because I want to die this time. I can’t take it anymore. Death tells me I have work to do, but how much more work can there be? How much more can I take? It’s like the Universe reads my mind, because my angel comes back, and it’s like the last few weeks haven’t happened. I still can’t say the words, but maybe this time I’ll get there. Maybe this time. We go to the other world, we save some people, I find my mom. I let another Michael from the other world possess me to defeat Lucifer, but then I can’t expel him. Before he shuts me in my memories, I am desperately afraid.

My brother and the angel find me in my own head, the snap me out of it. I should have known this bar was too good for me, I knew I didn’t deserve it. I shut Michael in there, but I know I won’t last long. I think I’m too weak to hold him, so I build a box designed to hold me forever. I dream about it, claw the sides of the wall until my nails are bloody, but if it’s my eternity or Michael’s rule? I’ll take the ocean every time. The angel will always try to save me, I still can’t say the words. The kid, my kid, he destroys Michael, but something is wrong, and I don;t realize until it’s too late. My mother is dead, at the hands of the kid, and I have never been angrier. I hate the kid again, I hate the angel too, I hate myself more. I pull a gun on the kid, but I still can’t pull the trigger. Sometimes I wish I could put it to my own head. God comes back, turns out he was the villain all along. Typical. He kills our kid. I can’t let myself feel.

The angel tries to convince me that we’re real. How can I believe that? Is everything I am just a story? Have I ever chosen anything? Does the angel really care about me? Do I really care about him? Another one of our friends dies. I blame the angel, I push him away, because I can’t look at him if I think what I feel for him might not be real. I meet up with someone I loved. He’s a monster now, I have to kill him. He dies holding me. I wish I was dead sometimes too. My brother is sick, he gets kidnapped by God. I’m spinning in circles. Me and the angel end up in Purgatory again. He gets taken from me. I’m so alone, so scared, I break down in the one place I could get lost in forever searching for the angel, I don’t want to leave him, please, don’t make me leave him. I have to keep looking, get back to the real world to save my brother. How will I choose? Thank god, or, whatever, I find the angel. I’ll tell him this time, but he stops me. He must know. He doesn’t want me, no one wants me. Why would they? Chuck has taken everything from me. I have to kill him, no matter the cost. The cost is gonna be our kid, raised from the dead by Death. I guess the one thing we have going for us is we don’t stay dead for long. I’m ready to let my kid die for my freedom. My brother stands in the way, I pull a gun on him. He talks me down, he’s the only one that can. I decide to take it out on Death, my pain, my anger, my rage. I take the angel and we find her, she chases us. Another trap. I realize that I’ve trapped us both. Why am I so worthless?

The angel looks at me. He smiles. He tells me how worthy I am, that I’m good, that I changed him. How can I tell him how he changed me. He tells me he’ll die for loving me. Then he shouldn’t, I’m not worth his life. Don’t leave me, please, I can’t lose you, you don’t know what it does it me when you leave me. He tells me he loves me. I try to tell him a fraction of the things I feel for him, but it’s too late. He’s taken before my eyes, and this time I know there’s no getting him back.

I’m left on the floor, unable to move.

This time I know, I’ll never let myself love again, because my heart is so shattered that it’s powdered, there’s no repairing it now. I’ve always been broken, but this time I’m not just broken: I’m destroyed.

#so uh yeah idk what this is #dean #spn #my writing #supernatural #dean winchester #destiel #im so sorry????? idk where this came from #I have never loved anyone the way I love him

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undertale-writing-times · 3 years ago

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Have I ever told you guys about my skeleton next gens? If not, I am now :)

You can ask about them in the asks if you want! I can even write X Reader things with them :D I think that that would be fun. I love these guys!

Horrorfarm- (they’re still together. Shockingly enough Horror carried them.)

Snack. A real sweetie. Didn’t get his fathers heights, and is very small standing only at 4′6. He was the first born and he didn’t get a whole lotta magic. He’s tiny and real sweet, very cute but he’s able to twist words around and make anyone look like a bad guy. He doesn’t like to do that too much though. One of his eyes is green with a red circle around it while the other eye is just black.

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Sprout- One of the smaller ones standing at 5′3. He got a bit more magic than Snack did, but was still smallish. Sadly, he sometimes gets sick easily and will often need a lot of bed rest. His bones are weak and he needs to walk with a cane and sometimes he needs to even use a wheelchair! He can’t do much around the farm because of that. Not that he’s weak, but because Corn is overprotective. He normally goes to the town to get things with Harvest instead of helping out around the farm a whole lot. He normally just stays in the wheel chair unless he has a good day. He’s really nice and really innocent, getting upset at the thought of killing things which is why sometimes he gets worried around Axe. His eye shines are green.

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Orchard- A girl who loves to garden and will often help her fathers pick the fruits and things. She's able to, somehow, figure out when it's the best time to pick them and she handles the oranges and fruits like that mostly. She's tallish, and has orange eye shines. She has freckles, and a gap in her teeth because she lost one of her teeth when she was younger, and it just never grew back. She cares strongly for her siblings and will protect them at all costs, though seems to talk to trees like they're real creatures and really able to understand her. Maybe they can?

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Sun Flower(or Sunny)- A pretty tall skeleton, around 5′11, who got her dads eye color! It’s a bright yellow but unlike her father(one of them) there’s a light reddish brown in the middle which is why they named her Sunflower. She’s very sweet and will give people flowers randomly but if you touch her or try to mess with her siblings she’s one of the scariest people around. Her teeth are very sharp on the inside but the pair on the outside don’t look sharp at all. She can open her mouth really wide and her teeth on the inside are much sharper.

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Nester- Just like Axe, she loves the farm creatures and will protect the babies with her life. She has sharp 'claw' like finger tips just like Axe, and sharp teeth. She has almost the most magic out of them all. She really likes the baby chickens but will try to protect the baby animals. She has one red eye socket and the other is never there and working. She's blind on that side, just like her dad! Corn likes to call her 'Hatchet' as a joke cause that's like an Axe.

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Rodeo- The tallest at 6′9.5. She loves to ride bulls and takes care of them on Corn’s farm. Has pretty strong magic and loves to go to those contests where they try to get bucked off bulls. She can talk anyone into buying their stuff and much more than they need. Both of her eyes are a greenish brown color like a leaf just starting to turn orange.

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Executor. The one most like Horror, standing at 6′ on the dot. He believes that people need to die sometimes, his magic is the strongest out of his family and can sometimes get out of his control so sometimes it bursts out and has cracked his skull in a few spots. He guards the farm, and if anyone tries to come on that he ‘sees’ as bad he’ll take them out. He has one red eye and one green. When he thinks someone is good, he shuts the red eye and when he thinks they’re bad, he shuts the green one.

Afterdeath- (Still together)

Quietus- A quiet boy who knows when it's someone's time to pass on, and he walks with them to the after life, making sure that they understand what's going on. He stays with the lost souls until they're ready to pass on. He's shy around the living. He's kind of small at 5'1 and always has on a hood. Both of his eyes are glitched out, but can still see.

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Mirror- The shortest of them all at 5' he'll help when people have left over business or when they don't believe that they're dead. He always carries around a mirror with him that if you look into, shows either how you die or your happiest moment. Whichever is closer. His eyes are just black holes.

Errorink- (on and off but still always together)

Delete- The oldest and meanest. He hates the idea of his parents always fighting and being 'on and off' so doesn't even think of them as his parents anymore. He deletes aus that are just bad, like the joke aus because he thinks that they're just cluttering up the multiverse(no hate from me) I think his eyes change shapes like Ink but they’re normally in either x’s or o’s and if he finds an au he likes, they’re O’s but if he finds one he dislikes they’re X’s.

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Abstract- The second oldest. When he gets too excited he throws up ink like his dad does but his ink, instead of black, is whatever color is close to the emotion he was feeling in that second. So if he's happy, it's yellow, if he's mad it's red and so on so on. He loves to create things and likes studying au's because he finds them so cool! He has ink dripping from his eyes at all times that is always slowly changing colors and the pupils are just black but with white in the middle.

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Blending- The third oldest. She loves and pretty much watches the aus that mix two different aus together. So like Fellswap, Swapfell, and all those. She likes to watch them from in the void resting her hands on her face. She has swirls all over her bones which glitch on and off her sometimes and she can pull them off to use them as weapons like Error's strings. Her eyes are rainbow colored and all bended together and glows with whatever emotion she’s feeling at that moment. If she’s overwhelmed they’ll turn all the colors then white until she can recharge. The outer part of her eyes are red like Error’s.

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Charcoal- The fourth oldest. He hates AU's and wishes that they would all just disappear other than the dark ones. Like Horrortale, Underfell, and those? He likes those. He's one of the meaner children and instead of teleporting he'd poof into black dust leaving a trail of it where ever he goes. Looks up to Delete a lot. His eyes look black but if you look closely you can see very dark gray shapes that are always changing with his emotions.

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Muff- He can go around in the multiverse and find AU's that have yet to be completed and he can either take out ones that have been finished so they don't get deleted, or delete the au himself. Depending on what he thinks is the best choice. He has black bones and rainbow eyes that always change colors as he blinks. When he sees an AU he needs to erase, his eyes go white

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Typo- a skeleton who’s bones are all white that slowly fade to black near his hands and the tips of his fingers. He can write and has ink that comes from them! He can let out inky strings that would wrap around things and he has the same back strings coming from his eyes that go down his face. His sockets are all black though different shades of black. When Misprint is born, he loves his little sibling. He’s pretty small and hates it. He doesn’t do anything for AU’s, just watches them.

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Misprint- the one created right before the twins! He thinks that AU's are fun, yet sometimes they need to be deleted because they're cluttering up the area. He dislikes Delete, a lot, and thinks that Charcoal is a brat. He has white bones with black markings all over them that look like writing though also look like tattoos. He can pull them off and start to 'type' on the words. His eyes are white then black sockets.

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Spray Paint: you guys know this boy! Another child of Ink and Error... oops -w-' he comes from an AU where they accidentally made him fully out of magic and it was enough to where he didn't need to form and they left him on accident. They find him later on but... yeah ^^' he's this little weirdo and I love him.

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Blue- The oldest of the primary triplets. Just by an hour or two. His bones are blue while his sockets are black with random blue shapes. The shapes tell his emotions and his tears glow in the dark because they're magic and he can catch them and change their shapes. He's the easiest to make cry and will whine and whimper if he doesn't get what he wants. He has red and yellow markings all over his body in like swirls that he can't control but they come off to protect him if he's in danger. He glitches out and stutters. He finds AU's fun and listens to their stories and cries whenever his favorite 'character' dies. He sees all AU's as just shows.

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Red- The middle of the primary triplets. His bones are red with black markings down from his eyes like tears like Error has. He has blue and yellow markings on his bones that glow when he's using the strings from his eyes. His eye shines are a bright glowing red color with yellow and blue pupils that don't glow. He's easy to anger and very protective of his two brothers and will fight anyone that tries to hurt them. Even if they annoy him sometimes. He hates AU's and thinks that only the original should be there, even if that means he has to die too now that he thinks about it.

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Yellow- The youngest of the primary triplets. He’s easily excited and loves the idea of fun things! He hates when things are boring and gets bored of things easily, and when he gets bored of those things he’ll forget about them or even want them to go away because he gets annoyed. People are thing to him and he dislikes the idea of them trying to get away from him. He has yellow bones with red and blue markings that he can pull off his bones and use them as ropes. They’re almost unable to be cut unless he isn’t focusing on them. He has a whole lot of energy and dislikes it when people don’t listen to him or something.

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Diddy Doodle- The youngest. Still just a baby so doesn't do much but doodle which is where they got their name. One of their eyes look like a scribbled in color of whatever emotion their feeling while the other one is blue then yellow then blue then yellow with a tiny white pupil.

NightBlue- (they’re together but it’s a secret until they have their kids)

Midnight- The oldest, and the scariest looking. He has tentacles like his father which have lighter blue speckles which look a little like stars, which is why he was named Midnight! He's very sweet though and takes after Blueberry a lot more than Nightmare, but if someone gets on his bad side or hurts his siblings, then they're going to see a lot of pain. His eyes are like stars like Blueberry Sans often enough. He's the tallest as well, 6'10.

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Blackberry- The one that looks the most like Blueberry. He can summon those tentacles but they're not drippy and more of a deep blue/black color than just black. He acts sweet but will stab you in the back if you try to take what he wants. It's hard to get on his good side because he's learned that people will take and judge you based off your looks. He's 5'3

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Horror Story- The second scariest, and he uses that. He likes that people fear him, because normally fear means respect. If you get to know him though, you'll see he's pretty sweet he's just scared to be too nice because he worries about being taken advantage of. He's 5'6.

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Sleeper: another child of Nightmare and Blueberry! She acts like two different people, one while she's awake and the other comes out when she's asleep. She has orange eyeshines that has a slight purple gradient and tentacles that are either yellow or purple , they only come out whenever they're needed. She loves her oldest brother.

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Eclipse- Almost the youngest and has white goop covering his bones instead of black like his father. He has random blue speckles that look kind of like stars and one on his forehead that looks like a moon. He’s an asshole. Dislikes most others other than anyone who’s ‘soft’ and needs help then he’s strangely protective. He’s 4′11

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BabyBat- Instead of tentacles, he has wings that look kind of like a bat, which is why he's called that! He looks kinda gross and drippy like his dad, but he's very sweet and will hug anyone that he thinks is nice. His eyes are a bright blue which stand out from the darkness of his well... body. He's the smallest standing at 4'1 and likes to fly around and squeaks when he gets really excited.

Dream X Killer

Sunset: A female skeleton with yellow eyeshines but she has goopy yellow stuff coming from her eyes that looks like melted gold. They believe it’s extra magic that is leaking because she can’t have that much in her body? She’s very sweet, caring, and loves attention! She’s everyone’s best friend, and anyone finding themselves disliking her she would tell her group of friends and it’s hard to make them fight against her.

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Raven: A non-binary skeleton who has blackness dripping from their eyes and no eyeshines. A smile a lot like Dream’s though, and they have wings! Neither of them are quite sure where that came from, but they’re black and feel kind of like moving your hands through bubbles when you move your hand through them. Raven cannot fly and dislikes people touching their wings without asking first. Only Sunset can. They have very sharp finger points.

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Lucid: another child with no gender, agender this time! They have one soul with three circles around it, one yellow, one purple, and one black. The black one will sometimes move and cover the soul which makes them pass out and they won’t wake up for a few days. The parents are unsure on what causes that but it happens whenever they get too angry or sad about things. Their eyeshines are blue and they have blackness coming from their eyes that look like tears but it’s part of their bones unlike Killer. It’s kind of like they can see what people are thinking for some reason.

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Vantablack: a skeleton with black bones, and no eyeshines, eyes fully black. He can control shadows and seems to be a guardian of darkness because he can blend into the shadows or anything that’s colored black. He looks scary but he’s the one that acts most likely Dream! He just knows that darkness is needed and loves anything colored black but still wears some pastel and light colors. He’s really cute.

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Peril: One that Killer was able to name. She has golden eyeshines and only one of her eyes has the black stuff coming from it, that sometimes covers the eyeshine. It only comes out when she’s using her magic. He thought that naming her that would make her kinda ‘scary’ but she’s a real sweetie… she seems to know when people are in danger, though!

Nightmare X Ink(not together in any timeline the child was an accident)

Pastel: The child of Nightmare and Ink from a different Timeline! She's covered in goop stuff but it's all in pastel rainbow colors and she loves colors and anything bright but she can only really feel negative feelings, so any positive ones are fake. She studies people to see how they react to things a lot. She travels through the multiverse a lot.

Nightmare X Error X Killer(Not really together in this timeline)

Nyx: She was born after the goddess of night, and she's covered in that black goop, the same as her father, and she has glowing light blue lines going down from her cheeks that look like tears. Her eyes are fully blue, and glow a little in the dark. She is the child of Nightmare and Error. She has tentacles that are thin and a lot of them which she can wrap around people, kind of like strings that Error has! They have a gradient of blue just like the color of her eyes.

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Apollo: Another child of Nightmare but this time with Killer! He has blackness coming from his eyes that is always dripping but it never hits the ground, it just looks like it's moving. He doesn't have any tentacles and, for some reason, he has purple eyeshines. He's pretty small at 5'4 or so. He doesn’t really show much emotion and likes to mess things up and Killer likes to joke that he’s a destroyer just like Error even though Killer is the other dad.

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Hades: Another child of Nightmare! This one is covered in an inky blackness, and his eyes are always closed. He's blind anyway, and he can sense when people are around him. He has two tentacles and is always seen with a :| face and he has black and blue lines going down from his shut sockets. None of them know who the other parent is since... Hades kinda looks like a mix of them all.

Red X Sans-

Jokester- A boy skeleton who's eyeshines are two different shades of purple. One with more blue, and one with more red. He loves pranks, loves to tease people, and always is trying to get people to react to things but it's mostly because he hates the idea of being ignored. Sometimes his pranks could be a little dangerous but he's normally really careful with that stuff.. he has sharp teeth.

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Lilac- A female skeleton monster who’s eyeshines are purple in color! She has nice white bones and no sharp teeth. She has two small cracks under her eyes but nothing too noticeable.

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Comic- He loves to tell puns, and hates it when people don't laugh at them so he might sometimes threaten people... mostly because he hates the awkward silence as he waits. His favorite thing to do is to write down his joke ideas and draw pictures based off them, comics! Like his name suggests. He doesn't have sharp teeth but he wishes that he did and hates Jokester for having it. He hates affection but loves it at the same time, so he's a bit like a cat... his eyeshines are purple with a small blue circle around them.

Red X Sci(Not together in this timeline)

Atoms: The son of Sci and Red! He has one red eye shine and the other is gone because he's fully blind in that eye and the one with the eyeshine is very blurry so he needs to wear glasses. He likes science but he gets embarrassed and aggressive if people ask about it too much or tease him about it.

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Proton: The daughter of Sci and Red! She's always happy and loves to talk to people. She's pretty positive and can see the good in everything even if she's fully blind. Legally. She can see faint shapes but not very well. Sometimes she falls asleep randomly, and she has sharp teeth.

Cream- (Together)

Stars- Stars was the first born of Cross and Dream, and she has bright orangey yellow eyeshines. They're often in the shape of stars which is why she was named that! She has sparkly freckles on her cheeks and has a gap in her two front teeth. She's very strong and a great fighter and will fight if she needs to but tries to settle everything without hurting anyone. She hates Eclipse and often the two of them will get into fights. She’s the only one that she really fully hates, and she has no idea WHY

Killerdust-

Hunter- A male skeleton who has the normal white bones but his eyes are all black other than the stuff that leaks out. It's a bright red and he can't stop it from happening. He's always pretty excited about going out and he's always so sure of himself and when something bad happens, he'll find a way to go around it. He sees things that aren't there sometimes but tries to ignore it. He's pretty average in height at 5'6

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Hood- Another boy and he hates everything. Everything gets on his nerves and he'll snap at people often. The only creatures he likes are animals, since he feels like they're the only ones that trust him and won't hurt him. He hates his four youngest siblings because they got so much attention. He has thought about running away a lot of the times. His eyeshines are fully red and he has black stuff that comes from his eyes just like Killer. It comes out more when he gets angry. He always wears a hood.

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Scourge- He's very shy and quiet, staying away from people a lot because he doesn't want to have to fight. He dislikes violence and flinches when people shout at him but sometimes something else seems to take over his mind, and when that happens, he's very violent and aggressive, and will hurt anyone around. He hurt one of his siblings before and he doesn't remember because when the other thing takes over, he doesn't remember what happens afterwards. He's got two different colors of eyeshines, one being an orange yellow and the other a bright red. He has blackness dripping from his eyes all the time.

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Outbreak- A honestly very sweet and nice skeleton. Nobody knows where that came from, but she wants to grow up to use her healing magic to save people’s lives. She’s a born healer and tries to never argue or get mad but her anger is very aggressive, and she will try to kill if pushed too far. Her eye sockets are fully black but when she uses her healing magic, she gets green eyeshines but only then. She has a few cracks in her skull one very large one from an accident when she was younger. It gives her memory issues.

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Toughie- She's an aggressive monster who honestly really doesn't want to fight anymore she just feels like she needs to be tough and aggressive because if not, others would walk all over her. Her eyeshines are a bright red color and she has a single line of red dripping down from her eye sockets and it swirls into a circle on her cheek then down dripping off all the time. She likes to wear baggy and comfortable clothes. She worries about being the oldest out of the four all the time and wonders if she's being a good older sister.

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Toughy- Toughy is a boy skeleton with one red and blue eye and the other is pure black with dripping red stuff while the other is dripping black. He loves to fight and enjoys beating people up but only really bad people! Like bullies. If they're bullies he doesn't feel bad. Also people who make fun of trans, he thinks those are the worst kinda people. He has a weird lil dumb crush on Nightmare. He's also trans. He looks up to his sister a lot even if he thinks it's annoying that she brings up how she's older than him even if it's just by a small amount of time... he does the same thing to his younger sibling.

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Roughie- She's a skeleton that likes to dress up as a boy even though she's a girl, and it isn't because she wants people to think she's a boy or anything, she just thinks it's funny to see them make the mistake. She loves to go play in the mud. Sometimes she talks to people that aren't there, and hates it when people look at her like she's crazy! She knows that the people aren't there that's why she's trying to get them to shut up. She might attack someone if they bring up the fact that she's being weird... She has full empty black sockets and her eyeshines only appear randomly and she can't make them appear herself or she'd get a really bad headache.

‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵ ‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵ ‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵

Rioter- A skeleton that believes that the world shouldn't have violence, so often will riot against laws and such that he doesn't agree with. He goes by anything people wanna call them, and thinks that sticking to one is boring. It's a little funny she'd try to settle violence with violence but eh, it works normally. Her eyeshines are a mix of red and green and he has sharp fingertips and can't not smile even if he doesn't want to smile. He has quite a few cracks in his skull and a few scratches.

Killer X Cosmos-(Not together in this timeline)

Blackhole: The child of Cosmos and Killer from a different Timeline. She has fully black eyes that have black liquid dripping down that sparkles like it has stars in it. She has pearly white bones and floats sometimes because of her powers. She has a hard time feeling emotions and can't understand other people's emotions. She always has a blank look on her face.

‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵ ‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵ ‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵

Astra: Another child of Cosmos and Killer. This one feels emotions much too strongly but only good ones, she can't feel sad or upset, and is always happy and smiling. She has black lines from her eyes that has star shapes at the bottom. Her eyeshines are sparkly and blue.

Oak X Lover-

Beau- A female! She loves to use her looks to get stuff that she wants but she will hurt people if they try to force her to do anything. She has sharp fingers just like Oak does, not as strong or long, but still just as sharp and she paints them the color of her magic! A very nice shade and mix of red and purple. Her teeth are sharp just like Oak's and it embarrasses her so more often than not, she would file down her teeth just so they're less pointy. She wears charming clothing that don't show off too much.

‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵ ‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵ ‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵

Suitor- He is very much like Lover. He uses his charm to get things from people that he wants but in true, he's easily flustered when he really likes people and he'll blush and stutter. He has one red eyeshine and one pink. The pink one is in the shape of a heart while the red is the normal circle shape. His teeth are the smallest amount sharp, which he thinks adds to his bad boy charm.

‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵ ‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵ ‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵

Willow- Willow is the tallest of the family! A full 8' she has long arms and long fingers as well that are very sharp that reach down to the ground. When she stands up straight, she reminded Oak a bit of a weeping willow which is why they named her Willow! She has sharp teeth and purple eyeshines just like her momdad. She looks scary but she's one of the sweetest and enjoys gifting food and snacks to people who need it but she often hides herself in a cloak because she doesn't want people to fear her. She and Orchard are very close friends.

‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵ ‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵ ‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵

Herb- The cook in the family! Other than Oak, of course. He really loves to cook, and has a lot of fun doing it. He's the 'cute' one in the family with soft looking cheeks and big eyeshines but he's a little shit and loves to use his cuteness to get things from people. He's really selfish even if he cooks for people he would either want something back from them or might 'accidentally' under or overcook their thing if he thinks that they're not treating him well enough. He has the smallest points on his teeth and freckles covering his cheeks.

‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵ ‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵ ‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵

Seedling- The youngest and the sweetest. She can see the good in everyone and everything, and she seems to know when something is going to grow well or not. She carries around seeds with her everywhere she goes and will plant them randomly. Her favorite types of trees are ones that can give fruit or pretty flowers. Her fingers don't look it but they're very sharp, and she only will eat meat. She can't eat anything but it, for some reason? She will bite people if they try to touch her and her teeth are very sharp as well. She's really sweet but will attack if someone tries to touch her without asking first.

Cosmos X Alpha-(Together)

Dwarf- A very short skeleton. He stands at only around 4'3! Shocking based off the heights of his parents, but a lot of people think it's just... something to do with his magic? They named him Dwarf after the dwarf planets, you know? Plus cause... he's tiny. He has sparkly red eyeshines that have random swishes and stripes of blue. His eyeshines and magic is his favorite part about himself. He has sharp teeth but only the front two other than that, they're normal. He’s very sweet and shy but gets really mad if his height is brought up.

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Milky- A female skeleton with bones that seem to sparkle like they have stars or glitter on it! It does not. Her eyes are always shut and nobody ever knows why other than her family. She's blind and dislikes trying to see things when she knows that she can't, so she keeps her eyes shut. She's very out going and very trusting but always seems to know if someone has things that they want from her. Nobody can keep secrets from her.

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Lumi- This skeletons bones seem to glow the faintest amount when they're left in the darkness. Their eyeshines fill their whole eyes instead of the normal blackness, there's just a glowing whiteness that they can't seem to stop. They can't have just empty black sockets. They're very pretty but a lot of people say almost... unnerving to look at. They can never be lied to because they're able to tell liars right away. They go by They/Them and greatly dislike it whenever people misgender them.

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Celestial- A female skeleton that is just as shy as her father. She would hide behind her siblings and it's easy because she's only 5'3 but when someone tries to threaten her or her siblings, she lets out her Alpha side. She'll curse them out and bring up every single thing that's wrong with them. She'll make them cry if she has to! Her eyeshines are blue with sparkles in them that look like stars, and she has normal teeth like Cosmos instead of the sharp teeth her father has. She has a few cracks and stars going down her cheeks that were drawn on a long time ago.

‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵ ‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵ ‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵

Astronomy- One of the only boys birthed to these two. He is a total nerd who needs to wear glasses and he loves space! He studies it all the time and is trying to find a star or a planet that has yet to be found so he could name it himself. He wears a suit and he has freckles on his cheeks that look and sparkle just like stars. He has sharp teeth like Alpha does but tries to file them down because... he dislikes the idea of having sharp teeth. He believes that it makes him look less smart and he wants people to think that he's smart. He's almost the youngest and his sisters are so cool! He needs to have something.

‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵ ‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵ ‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵

Night Light- The youngest. He gives off a faint glow all the time, something that comes from a being of too much magic. It sometimes makes him sick to have so much but he thinks that the glow looks cool so he doesn't mind too much. He has sharp finger tips like Alpha does and treats life as if it's a joke just like his dad does. He doesn't know how long he'll have to stay here so... why not make it fun? He can't go out too often because of the over magic he has, but when he does go out he will go feral.

Pinks X Chum(They’re together I think :)

Algae: The oldest child of Pinks and Chum! A fairly large merfolk that has tentacles and a long tail. He's very pretty and knows that he is and he likes it when people get crushes on him but he has never gotten a crush on someone before. His colors are more purplish and he knows how rare that color is so he feels pretty proud of himself. He has sharp teeth and sharp finger points. He enjoys watching humans.

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Kraken: One that looks a lot like his father, Chum, he's very large and has tentacles that hang down and he's really big. His bones are tinted a little blue in color and he's more blue but with pink stripes on his tentacles and the hooks are pink. His eyeshines are pink, just like Pinks though! He's shy, and quiet, and really doesn't like to be seen by a lot of people so he's normally hiding. He's a total 'mama's' boy and follows Pinks around whenever they have to go out together. He sticks close to Pinks because he feels like Pinks could protect him, even though he could easily protect himself.

‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵ ‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵ ‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵

Swimmy: A little tiny thing. The daughter of Chum and Pinks, she might look the most like Pinks with her flowing fins and pretty sparkly scales but she's the most aggressive out of them all. She has very sharp teeth and sharp finger points, she has this toxin in her fins that causes a stinging feeling and it hurts if you touch it. Neither of her parents know where she got that from. She gets crushes easily and loves affection. She's closest to Chum.

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thewitchandtheassassin · 4 years ago

Text

What Would An Angel Say, The Devil Wants to Know Part Four (Lena Luthor x Reader)

(Part One) (Part Two) (Part Three)

Summary: Why can’t you learn to control your emotions?

Words: 1576

Warnings: Language, angst, talks of violence.

Taglist: @natasharomanoffswife @natasha-danvers @aaron-despair @username23345 @xjiasx @nowthisisliving27 @higherfurther-romanova @summergeezburr @marvels-writings @onlyafewfindtheway @captain-josslett @hayleyokami @aznblossom

A/N: So I did a thing. And here we are.

-X-

Planning a demise wasn't terribly time consuming when someone like Lockwood was helping. Dastardly and vile, his ideas were straight to the point as you discussed your options. While you couldn't outright end the human's life with your own hands, he was quick to point out the most effective options that even a great angel like Lena couldn't stop. Cars were too uncertain and, while the elevator had been a good touch, something like that was too preventable.

"You need quick. Abrupt. No possible room for survival," Ben advised, sunglasses obscuring his face despite having no need for them as he eyed the blonde strolling briskly past you, none the wiser of your existences.

"True, but we have to be smart," you added, glancing around in search of Lena's tell: her "heavenly" glimmer.

"Yes, yes, I know. Your little angel is cunning but I think you give her too much credit," Ben replied, his eyes undoubtedly rolling as he sneered at the humans walking along.

Snorting, you jabbed your dagger into his side, ignoring his hiss of pain or the way he swatted at your hand. "No, I'm just not arrogant enough to underestimate her."

Your eyes strayed back to Kara as she slipped back into her office building and then - only then - did you seem the shine of the angel that often haunted your thoughts. The cretins of the earth couldn't see her but you could, her dark locks fluttering in the wind as she gazed back at you pleadingly.

Pieces of you hated her. Truly. Deeply. You would bear marks for the rest of eternity because of her.

But in the same token, you couldn't deny that your memories with her often left your stomach twisted in knots as you reminisced over the smile that made your heart ache. It hurt, remembering how things had once been. Before you were forced to fight with her; fight for your life.

You could see Lena's expression shift the moment it dawned on her who was standing beside you. The way her eyes narrowed and her lips pursed, defiantly glaring at the smug demon beside you.

"Uh oh. I think your little angel recognizes me," Ben cackled, fingers curled into a taunting wave.

Snarling your lip, you growled, "She's not my angel, you ass. Now shut up before I cut your fucking tongue out."

Ben clicked his tongue disapprovingly. "Testy, testy, (Y/N). Such a killjoy."

Cutting your eyes at him, your grip tightened on your dagger. "Shut. The. Fuck. Up."

You glanced back over to the building, but Lena was nowhere to be seen.

-X-

Querl studied his ward curiously, occasionally reading whatever Nia was writing though his stare always returned to the woman he was sent to protect. She was so entrancing and for once in his existence, Querl wished to be human again. If only for a day.

So enthralled by Nia, he didn't notice Lena's presence until her voice startled him off the desk he'd been perched on.

"Gods, Lena, you scared me!" he yelped, clutching his chest as he stared at the openly bothered woman.

"Maybe if you had been paying attention to your surroundings and not gawking, you would've noticed me," Lena scolded, though her words held no real bite to them.

"You seem troubled." Querl's brows furrowed together worriedly. "Are you okay?"

Shaking her head, Lena snagged her bottom lip between her teeth before sighing. "No. Complications have arisen and I'm unsure of what's going to happen."

"What complications?"

Peering over at Kara's messy desk, her nostrils flared slightly. "It appears (Y/N) has been given a helper. Lockwood."

Inhaling sharply, Querl's eyes flitted between Nia and Kara. "What should we do?"

"Be watchful. And careful. (Y/N) might have once been a friend but with Lockwood here, we must be vigilant or they'll both be dead before we can stop it."

It was difficult, accepting your new role in her life. Mortal enemies instead of teasing rivals you'd once been. Friends no longer, especially if you were willing to work with him.

A monster in every sense of the word.

"If she's working with him, you need to be careful. This seems way more personal than just an assignment," Querl advised sagely. "I want to believe it isn't but I can't imagine Ben will let this finish without trying to end you. Or having her try to kill you, to prove herself."

Your punishment had been no secret, most of the guardians far too aware of what your friendship with Lena had left you with, the bad blood thick and the scars deep.

"(Y/N) wouldn't..."

"Maybe the old (Y/N) wouldn't but now? Everything is different, Lena. You must accept that. Putting too much faith in her could cost us everything."

Swallowing dryly, the angel nodded. He was right...

She just wished he wasn't.

-X-

"We could always send a helicopter crashing into the building," Ben mused, scratching his chin thoughtfully. "If that didn't kill the human, surely the building collapsing would."

"That would kill too many others," you argued, resisting the urge to pinch the bridge of your nose. "We're supposed to be discreet. Dropping a building on a bunch of them definitely wouldn't be discreet."

Lockwood shrugged, completely unbothered by his suggestion. "The human must die. At least we'd know for sure she was dead. Plus Querl's little charge is up there. Two sad, pathetic birds. One mighty stone."

"Not a chance, Woody, pick a new idea."

Ben sneered. He hated that nickname and you knew it, only using it to get under his skin. "Fine."

Smirking at his obvious annoyance, you peered up at the sky absently, noting the darkening clouds. You couldn't remember life as a human (if you'd ever been one to begin with) but you almost wished you could if only to feel the rain on your skin. It seemed like such a peaceful experience, the water trickling over flesh, soaking into clothes instead of rolling off dark wings.

"I'm going to see if I can come up with a better plan," you jeered, heading for the building before he could reply.

Stretching your wings, you kicked off the ground and slowly maneuvered to the floor your mark resided on, eyeing the oblivious blonde through the window. You were well aware you'd be attracting unwanted attention but you couldn't stand being around Ben any longer. If you didn't get a few minutes of space, you were likely to ram your dagger into his throat and send him back to the underworld without his body.

The shift of the air was apparent and you smirked knowingly at Lena's reflection in the glass.

"Stop smirking at me," Lena demanded, arms crossed in frustration.

Snorting, you twisted to face her, brow arching in amusement. "Or what?"

"You're working with Lockwood now?" she questioned, ignoring the challenge hidden in your words. "You hate that spawn of Hell."

You shrugged nonchalantly, peering at the throngs of people below. "He's my ticket to survival."

"He's a slimy coward who wants you dead!"

"Clearly so do you!" you shouted, eyes narrowing into a venomous glare dripping with disdain. "At least he's trying to keep me alive a little longer."

"You're an idiot if you really believe that."

Rolling your eyes, you inched closer to the infuriated woman. "No, I was an idiot thinking you ever cared about me, Lena. At least Lockwood doesn't lie to my face and pretend to be my friend."

"I am your friend!" Lena screamed, the green of her irises dissolving as energy flowed through her. "I don't want you to die!"

As if sensing the tension, the sky went alight with lightning as rain began to flow, startling the humans and hurriedly soaking them to the bone. If only it could wash away the anguish and pain twisting your insides; silence the beasts banging around in your head.

"Bullshit! You pretend to be some pure, precious guardian but you're really just as manipulative and cruel as every other angel. You think that energy of yours makes you above everyone but you're no better than me! And I should've seen that instead of falling in love with some white-winged bitch!" You shoved her, hard, barely containing the want to strangle the guardian who'd ruined you.

Fury washed over you in waves, rendering you heedless of the unwitting admittance that had passed your parted lips, only the sounds of your enraged breathes ringing in your ears. A flurry of emotions crossed Lena's features but you didn't care, simply wanting to either bolt away from the angel or toss her into the sun.

Whichever was easier.

"Y-you're in love with me?" she whispered, the power draining away and leaving behind imploring emeralds that were glassy with something.

The blood drained from your face as you poured through your last words. You had never meant to say that. Because you weren't in love with her. Couldn't be. There was no love in your heart, especially for her.

"I..."

Lena's fingers twitched, the urge to reach out overwhelming as she silently begged you to stay. To help her understand.

"(Y/N)-"

Shaking your head violently, you jerked backward. "No! No, no, no. I don't - I can't - fuck!"

Red lips dipped open but you didn't stay long enough to hear what she had to stay.

Fire erupted...

And then you were gone.

#lena luthor x reader #supergirl imagine #lena luthor imagine #dc comics imagine #arrowverse imagine #lena luthor #dc imagine #supergirl #reader imagine #reader insert

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