#FELIX YOUVE KILLED ME

[threepoint14art]

I'm gonna word vomit about the nightmares because GOD I'm listening to great escape on loop and i feel like I'm going insane so yeah if you wanna read that im gonna put it under the cut because its probably gonna be LONG TLDR: I love them and they make my head hurt

We know the nightmares are not good people, like at all. The very first instance we see them is in the episode literally titled "BONNIES NIGHTMARE" and yeah, they sure are his nightmare.

They harass him for money as a "tradition", Bonnie doesn't have any, they try and take his guitar, until there they’re pretty standard random assholes, then meg says "they know where you live" when Bon tries to intervene and refers to them as a complete group, "the *nightmares* know where you live" and then the stakes become weirder. Because aside from just very visibly being horrible people, they already have a reputation of being actually dangerous besides just mugging, they know where people live. You can argue they know where Meg, Fox and Spring live based on past history with all of them, and they could know where Bonnie lives based on how they harass him and all of that; but for them to know where Bon lives? someone who they appear to have literally no biases against and who is, up to that point, just completely unrelated to any of what's happening? It’s weird

You could say it's because he's friends with Meg, but I sort of doubt Bon would bring anyone over with how his dad is, so we are back at "why the actual hell would they know that" If they are mindless thugs it’s a bit weird that they would keep track of specifics like that. And I like to think that that’s the point. They make it a point to know sensitive information about people so that they are less inclined to go against them, just like Meg was. 

Then Fox appears and they seem really put off by it. The series tries really hard to sell that Fox is angry, violent and just a hot head. Which I don't really agree with? as in rewatches I've found myself going "yeah that's a valid reason to be angry" but whatever, going off the series alone and what they intend with each character, Fox is someone who is sort of dangerous, guy who gets into fights and all of that, they seem sort of familiar with each other too. "this is low even for you guys" and then Deuz calling Fox by his name. 

So they are 1) known 2)violent 3) actively make a show out of it. They scare people by knowing their private information yet they don’t seem to do anything with it at all, they could harass Bonnie closer to his house and not at the literal school entrance full of people but they don’t. They could drag him out to somewhere more hidden to not get bothered, but they don't, it's almost as if they want people to see. It's performative, speaking loud and laughing louder, in direct contrast to Bonnie's quiet voice who tries to leave in the least showy way possible. 

We don't see them go to school, hell we don't even see them in uniform until after camp, so I used to think they were older and that  the entire thing with the nightmares vs spring was sort of "the adult drama" outside of school and its teenagers. Their entire group just felt heavier than the rest of the kids, probably fueled by being antagonists.

The next time we see them it's with the aforementioned Spring, they are graffiting a wall and Spring tells them to not do it and to go do it in the "legal area" the artistic zone made for that. 

This is really interesting to me, mostly because even though spring grew up in a similar situation to them, he carries completely different moral values. It even seems as if he's overcompensating. Spring is a hard worker, he has jobs upon jobs and tries to live honestly, and to see other people get by in the direct opposite way he does, he wants to be as separated as possible, have nothing in common because he is a “good” person and they are “bad” people. 

There is no way that his entire area isn't drowning in graffiti already, because even sub-urban areas have graffiti, both actual art and the standard weird drawings of dicks or random curse words. And while the latter are not exactly great to see, they are also inherently thoughtless. People walk around and go "yeah this would be funny" and do it without thinking twice.

With the way that Onnie and Onyx (I call oxy that) talk about it, what they were about to do wasn't thoughtless, they were literally looking for a nice wall. it seemed like they just wanted to do actual artistic graffiti which is a pastime that seems inherently way less morally evil than just harassing random kids at school. They aren't actively looking for Spring either, they are just there. Spring picks the fight, the police come

They run away from the police, there's a ruckus with the police after (as said by Fox). They didn't actually vandalize anything, hell they didn't even have any paint on them throughout that entire exchange. But they still run? They could have done something before going over there, but in that case it'd be strange that they would be so calm and giddy about it knowing full well someone could come, they don't seem to be carrying anything at all either, robbing school kids may be possible with only your fists but they were just around streets without any knife or anything at night, so i doubt they could mug someone if they tried. 

So why would they run? I think it’s because they are all mostly just show, and that their lives shaped them to be that way. The police are scary not on the basis of "they can imprison me for this wrong thing I did" but on the basis of "the police hates people like us." The police hates the poor, the police hates queer people, it hates anyone who fails to fit in the box of what"an upstanding citizen" should look like. Of course they leave with their theatrics still there, telling Spring to "be grateful they saved you!!!" trying to save face. But it's clear they didn't actually do something to warrant fleeing, and this is supported by Spring also hiding. 

The next episode, "the birth of evil" is where everything crumbles and by crumbles i mean comes together. Spring, Fox and Bonnie go to a talent show and they meet the nightmares there, once again the whole act starts again. An obnoxious laugh, a confident pose, an ensemble of people behind you to be able to have your back. Deuz calls them dogs and the other 2 bark, its a performance. Deuz adresses the group, Onyx talks to Spring, Onnie talks to Bonnie.  

They don’t seem to acknowledge Bonnie in specific as anything important, they don’t blink and demand he gives them the money he still “owes”, they don’t tell him he’s lucky that he’s not alone. They pick a fight with the conglomerate and that's it. 

The way Spring and Fox carry themselves in the exact same situation seems just fundamentally different. They insult back of course, but they are way less vitriolic with it, and they don't accompany it with an air of grandiose superiority or an encore of background laughs or barks to drive their point home. They seem honest with their comeback, they have fun with it. Onyx and Onnie GROWL. 

Deux stands in front of them, he has been doing that this entire time, and the other two behind him growl, genuinely upset or threatened by a comeback that let's be honest. Was not even that good. "You smell that? envy?" and "the rats came out to eat, shame we didn't bring cheese"

But it not being good is sort of the point, it feels less practiced, less rehearsed and less of an act, a stupid comeback that reads more like a 3rd grader fight than anything, compared to the more antagonistic "look at the stray dogs. though this was a talent show not a barking one." "give me paw, have you learned to play dead yet?" Those are way stronger, and yet it seems like they just lose the exchange, immediately get defensive and growl, and look genuinely upset. 

Funny thing is that their insults apply to them more than they apply to those three. Both Onnie and Onyx have been shown constantly barking and growling, to call someone a stray dog implies some level of poorness or a lack of belonging. They put down what may seem wrong with them, and apply it to other people to get a leg up. 

Maggie tells them to drop it, they go and perform what they came here to perform. Deuz says "dont waste your energy, let's prove what real talent is" which can certainly just be read as another insult, as a way to call them talentless, but i chose to interpret it as masking a sore spot. We HAVE talent, even if people say we don't.

And this is the main attraction. Great escape. My love. 

With all we know about them, you would imagine their music would follow through with the image they've been constantly pushing. Rough around the edges, loud, obnoxious, full of self adulation. But it's just... Not that.

Song starts, and it seems like they will follow through. It's strong, it's loud, it's overwhelming and yet awestrucking, the guitar is at the forefront and is going crazy. And then it suddenly becomes soft, not weak or pacifying by any means, but soft nonetheless. 

Deuz’s voice is calm, he’s not screaming and he’s not making himself louder than necessary, the mic is there and it WILL pick what he says up. So he’s just singing, he’s not struggling to be heard. The very first line is “if i wasn’t the one who i thought I was, could you show with conviction who you really are?” It’s weirdly wordy and self introspective for someone who is supposedly just evil, who has presented himself as an unmovable wall, as someone strong, foul mouthed and completely used and comfortable with his way of life. As someone who poses a real danger.

If I wasn't who I thought I was, if I wasn't strong and if I wasn't at the forefront, could you really show who you are? If he wasn’t like this, if he seemed soft or weak, could his group live in peace? Could they be who they want to be? It’s not like they are 100% free to be who they are right now. They too, keep an appearance of being unbothered, strong, but at least they get to live, they get to present themselves how they want and not be scared of someone hurting them because of it, because they ARE the harm, and they have a leader. He’s the pillar, and he has to be who he THINKS he is. He has to be there.

“Will you be able to not fall today without your costume?  your heart breaks just like a fragile glass” The idea of costumes, of keeping an appearance, making “the nightmares” a single intimidating entity that no one can mess with, could they live without it? Chances are not, life is cruel and they seem to know that. It’s a dog eat dog world, and they act as if they are on the top of that food chain.

The song is for all of them, it’s ADDRESSED to them, Deuz uses first person and second person, me and you against whatever is put in our way. And that is what makes the song so special to me, in a show were we see the protagonists in the process of becoming friends the nightmares have been together since forever. And this song is for them, to find hope in hopelessness and to simply state how important all of them are to each other. “and in the distance I can hear that your voice started to call me”.

And we see what has led them down this way of thinking. Not a justification, but an explanation.

We start with Deuz, whose first memory appears to be literally working. Working to sustain himself, working to be able to live better, “I know that I will wake up.” I know that I can get out of here somehow, people are horrible to a literal child trying to live, we see how it lasted a long while too. From the candy selling to when his hands are curled into a fist we can see that he visibly grew up, he kept living in those conditions and he never actually experienced sympathy for it, people laughed, people insulted him, people seemed to be grossed out by the mere idea of a kid who was BORN into poverty, because how dare he try and survive? “I fell into an dark abysm without an end”  

With this it would make sense for him to become cynical, to assume it’s him against the world forever, and that people are inherently evil. But the lyrics are hopeful. “I escaped swiftly and I saved my life, I felt as if i were finally breathing again. Today let’s break the walls at once” Life is cruel, people are cruel, but it gives him a frame of reference of what type of people stay at the top of the chain, to be mean, to be violent, not out of enjoyment but necessity, camouflage to survive and breathe again, make sure people don’t mess with him again. The image of a little kid with scratches throughout all his body looking angrily at the camera

“In a place of the world where light goes away and doesn’t want to come back. Could you be sure that you’ll find it?” He could stay alone, he could dish out the same disdain and disgust that people showed him when he was at his lowest, but despite it all he still has empathy, and despite everything he wants to help, “evil” was born through how he lived, but his true nature is still there. And when he sees someone his age at his lowest, he doesn’t hesitate to help. He doesn’t fall in the idea of “everyone should have it as bad as me, i had it worse, it’s not my problem.” He extends the kindness that he never had, and he helps. Could you really find light when everything seems dark? find hope in what seems hopeless?see a A scared little kid being beat in a closed alleyway, amongst all the trash. Could you be fine with it? Have any hope in such a situation?

“if everything breaks slowly and with pain. Could you pick up the pieces that fall?”  He stops it, he becomes the light that went away, a sense of hope and belonging, he offers a hand that was never offered to him. Onnies expression in this always gets me, he looked scared when he was alone, but once someone stands up for him he doesn’t look glad or happy. He seems shocked, in complete disbelief. Both Onyx and Maggie seem to be relieved when they are saved, but Onnie is just shocked. Why would someone just intervene or care? this was not a one time thing, he already had the bruises before any hit ever connected, he fled into a dead end and expected it to end like that. And it didn’t. Everything was already broken, why would someone pick up the pieces? 

“In the distance I can hear the quake of the world and its end. Today you’ll start from zero. I have to say see you later” I’ve seen some people be confused by this part or even laugh at it. Deuz just appears, punches onyx, and they become friends. But the very first shot is Onyx sitting slumped on the ground as if he had been beat up and was barely conscious. But he wasn’t, he had no injuries at all, the lyric talks about the end of the world, he had given up. We don’t know the circumstances of this, but given how clean his clothes are and how he lacks any injuries, it’s my personal headcanon that he got kicked out. A kid alone in the streets kicked out, he should give up, because what else could he do? how else could he live? A wake up call in the form of a fist, this place is dangerous and not what you are used to. But today you’ll start from zero, you just have to say goodbye to what you had. 

The chorus changes, it’s no longer a dark abyss, but a dark path. In the name of not being at the very bottom he has become something he isn’t, all of them have, their lives shaped them to be rougher, they are like the people who hurt them in the past. This is especially true to Onnie becoming a bully. And the path seems endless, because dropping the fake bravado doesn’t seem like a possibility. The world is cruel to those it perceives as weak, so they can’t show themselves to be. That's why we are shown the three of them looking angry, unbothered, the strength their life demanded but at the very least as a group; making themselves bigger, with Deuz at the forefront. 

And we cut to Maggie (who I use he/him for), screaming and trying to get away from someone who is clearly bigger, an adult. From the song “closer” at the camp arc, we can see how that person was enjoying causing distress, a crooked and mocking smile on their face “there will be people who think this is pure hypocrisy” To go from being the kid suffering at the hands of someone stronger, to the one causing said pain onto another kid, all to not be weak and not be a target again. 

The group doesn’t only defend Maggie, fight back against someone bigger than all of them. But Deuz goes out of his way to try and cheer him up, and gives him a sweet to calm down.  “incapable of forgetting the beast that’s hungry yet again” this world, it’s difficulties that feel like sharp teeth mauling at people who have not done any sin but to exist yet, people feed on others being miserable, on feeding on those who seem weaker and their suffering, like beasts. You can’t ignore it, you have to fight back, bare your own teeth.

“Beyond the storm my hand is waiting for you. That sword pierced depression with all it’s strength” After the suffering, after the hardships and the pain, my hand will be there waiting for yours. Together we are stronger, and together we can be happy despite what everyone else can say. “Before just falling like that…” before giving up, before falling, we have each other.

And it’s the chorus again, I fell in a dark abyss, but now what saved his life is not making himself scarier, it’s not the realization of what act he should put on, it’s not his anger freeing him. It’s having his group. And once they break the walls, once they break through their self imposed image, through “the wall” , they can live without fear or grudges. 

Next we see them is at camp, and it seems as if Deuz already started to try to break through said wall, they are actually going to school now, they are at a camp. And when Onyx and Onnie start with the theatrics, when they try to immediately establish themselves as stronger and crueler. He reminds them that they are not on the streets. They aren’t in that horrible environment they’ve always lived in, not everyone is bound to be outright hostile, and they try. 

Later on Deuz says “If being at this camp and learning to work in a team makes my boys finally get accepted by society. Then I’ll do it.” and after that “I’ll show them that we can all change for the better.” They all became hostile because of where they grew up, but if there’s a chance to not be like that, to live in peace, then he’ll take it. He wants the best for them.

And that’s not to say Deuz has always been the pillar of morality. He participated in Bonnies harassment as much as all of them, but their thing is to change, to let go of that gut reaction of cruelty to avoid being hurt. And Deuz also changes with time. At the start, anyone who participated in the event, who went to the docks which is their territory, he would have been annoyed, he would have called them talentless, insult them and their craft and claim he and his crew were better before completely disregarding them as a whole. He would have been defensive about the only place where he can actually showcase his thoughts and feelings. But no! Later on he has respect for Fred, calls him “the king of the docks” and tries to be friendly. Of course after that Freddy is completely confused and he gets pissed, but I think it’s because he tried, he attempted to be friendly and swallow his pride and his defensiveness about the one thing they all have, and he got (in his head) made fun of. It made his instinct of “be the one on the top of the interaction always” kick in, because they WERE on the streets at that time and it’s suddenly the same it always has been. 

Right after that pup kills him on a single punch and that didn’t happen ^^.  no waaaay he would go down so easy to a person like pup whose most athletic skill is gymnastics. Deuz has shown he's had to fight and fight dirty/lawlessly to survive since he was little. it just doesn't make sense and it’s not real TOT Pup is built like a twig

“pia what about onnies song” also didn't happen ^^. After this point the series tries to soften Onnie to be less of a willing participant of the group’s actions, and I just really do not like it. Let him have blue hair and pronouns AND evil in his heart. 

I think that’s all for all, i need to be tazed. I know i kept it very neutral till now but guys please tell me you see why i ship them all so hard. God. I need to kill them all

i hate them you need to be put down <3 like the dogs u like (the nightmares) - Loops

[jackienautism]

fe3h update! well i just finished my first playthrough and i am just sitting here.... the second to last battle was SO hard for me and it was definitely made harder by the fact that i like. played it weird. bc i thought if i just completely avoided her i wouldn't have to kill mercedes so i took all my units on a really weird path and then once i finally killed everyone else turns out. i still had to kill her.

i managed to get to a support between byleth and all of the eagles except linhardt (still mad about that.... i wanted to get the whole set </3), as well as marianne, sylvain, ingrid, and felix (who yeah, i did end up recruiting).

as for my ranking of the eagles... it's really tough to pick! it's closer to tiers for me, bc some of these characters are so close to each other in my ranking. i'd probably go... dorothea, caspar, bernie/hubie/edie, petra, ferdie, linhardt. dorothea and caspar are probably my absolute favorites now. and because of that, i think they're gonna be the eagles i recruit on my VW playthrough (and maybe. all subsequent playthroughs too LMAO) . from the lions, i think i'm gonna take sylvain again bc he's easy to get and he grew on me, as well as mercedes. mighttt also recruit annette and maybe ashe? i barely interacted with them the first time around but i hear ashe is interesting in VW and annette has supports with claude, but i'm also trying to limit myself here lmao. i'm probably not gonna try to recruit both of them, if i even recruit one.

anyway! i'm genuinely sooo excited for claude.... also since i enjoyed marianne so much, i'm excited for her to be like.. more relevant LMAO.

i'm also gonna look into how to like... successfully build my guys this time around because i have a feeling i was NOTTT doing it well at all. which like... i don't need to have the best builds in the world or anything, as long as i'm having fun i don't need to be doing things "right", but like. i think i could maybe be having a bit more fun if i. knew what i was doing lol.

thanks for letting me give you these updates lol! i am having sooo much fun.

HIII OHOHO HAPPY TO HEAR YOUVE FINISHED YOUR FIRST RUN :D AND THAT YOU REALLY ENJOYED IT.... i lowkey forget the second to last battle ebut i assume it was the one w/ dimitri right? or was it the silver maiden one w/ rodrigue? forgive me its been a bit since ive played crimson flower dfgnfg but anyhow! SORRY THAT YOUR DIVERSION MADE THE BATTLE DIFFICULT FOR YOU....AND THAT YOU STILL HAD TO KILL MERCEDES ANYWAY ):

and damn </3 atleast you got thr A supports between the rest of the black eagles! i suppose theres always next route or next CF route that you can get linhardt's... i could tell you the gist of it if you want but im sure youd rather get it yourself. speaking of A supports, which endings did you get :o? like between the other characters i mean?

good tier list<3333 dorothea at the top as she shoudl be. and edie and hubie togehter as they SJOULD be. dorothea snd caspar as your faves are such good choices... quite the duo. and them being the eagles you recruit in your other routes is very respectable as well.. still cant believe that youre willign to Not recruit everyone but i totally understand the mindset as well. angst is good. but it also hurts. MERCEDES..... ooohhh i love her oh so much. she would def be a good choice. good luck limiting yourself btw dfgkdnfg annette and ashe are very good very goodd. im not particularly attached to them as ive talked abt before but theyre both very sweet characters. and have a lot of substance to them. plus their family situations and whatnot are very sad. so yeah! recruiting any of the blue lions to learn more abt them would be a good thing to do! esp if you didnt interact w/ them much in CF

YESSS CLAUDES ROUTE WAS VEYR GOOD.... AND I LOVE HIMS O MUCH ANDHIS RELATIONSHIP W/ BYLETH.... and yessss marianne ): my girl.... i will say that something that happens in verdant wind def shouldve been saved for edie's route but :/ soon enough you'll see what i mean. hope you enjoy verdant wind!!!!

and kfdngdkfg yeah i feel that. its quite overwhelming at times isnt it? as logn as youre having fun though thats all that matter sbut i totally understand wanting to like know what youre doing. a few videos and reading up on classes should help! what were your guys' final classes if you don't mind me asking? if you think youd habe more fun if you knew what you were doing, then id def go for it! good luck w/ everything!

and omg of course!!!! thank YOU for being so kind to keep me updated and whatnot! i always enjoy reading what you have to say and how you've been doing in game and otherwise :] hope you have a good day / night!!!!

[jurdanhell]

fUCKIN-

i was going to tell you my favourite quotes but i can’t very well do that without quoting the whole damn fic back to you, so here’s a picture of a raccoon that currently expresses how you’ve made me feel on the inside

You Never Break ⚜ Part Ⅰ

⊰ ☘ ⊱ Cardan's POV: The Queen of Nothing, from the end of Chapter 13 through Chapter 17. ⊰ ☘ ⊱ A massive, pterodactyl-screeching thank you to my dearest punishment @euridce and the bombastic @figonas for dealing with my bullshit and allowing me to subject them to betaing this (and literally everything else), but especially for being my Hype Train Goblin Queens and not letting me lose to my perfectionism. ⊰ ☘ ⊱ { edit: the wordcount actually turned out to be 3,765 because I added more shit after I copypasta'd here but I literally cannot be arsed to change the graphic lol. }

≼ FIC MASTERLIST HERE≽

Contrary to erstwhile thinking, it is not quite as simple a task to travel at any expeditious speed whilst carrying a half-dead goblin through the biting nighttide—whilst also taking care to keep yourself and aforementioned half-dead goblin undiscovered by those who would very much like to lop your kingly head right off of your kingly shoulders.

And, if all of that is not enough of a juggling act, appending the minor detail that you’ve just taken flight on a steed conjured from the ragwort in your pocket, after leaving your wife below (at her behest and your protest) to fend for herself with naught but a magical cloak and her unspoken, mortal promise to do as you say...

Well. There are reasons you are not lauded for your prowess as a jester, just as your Queen is even less admired for her graces of verity.

Yet, surely by some feat of fortuitous magic, Cardan does manage it; the concealing mists part just enough to allow the flying mount and its travelers to slip through.

Braving a glance over his shoulder, he watches as the fog coils and swirls closed like a protective curtain behind them. It's disorienting—very like taking an overconfident step forward, only to find the ground is not quite as close as you first perceived. Even as one often besotted with wine and other such stupefacients, Cardan does not particularly enjoy that feeling.

Sea fret mingles with the haze of preternatural clouds as they begin a descent. It veils his lips, clings to his wool-spun clothing and weighs down his hair. He shakes the dampened curls from his eyes just as the four isles of Elfhame begin to take shape in the darkness beneath him, and lets out an unsteady breath; he wonders, absently, if he's exhaled at all since leaving Jude on the ground.

He cannot help the inglorious relief that the Roach, in his state, does not hear it.

It’s an odd sensation, to observe your kingdom from such a high vantage point. Perhaps, before now, he disallowed himself to feel the full measure of his obligation; the sobering comprehension that this vastness of soil and sapling and stone, along with all its inhabitants, will thrive, or decay, under his governance. Looking down at the land—his land—brings that realization crashing down upon him with as much force as one of Balekin’s punishments.

Cardan tightens his grip on the animal’s leafy mane against a bout of dizziness, abruptly wishing he had something a bit less insubstantial with which to steady himself.

The Crooked Forest rises to meet them, gnarled limbs twisting upward as if to embrace their sovereign. That seems illusionary, though Cardan does note at once the marked shift in the air; while still cool, no longer does each inhale carry an icy jab to his lungs or bite at the tips of his ears. It envelopes him and his company, gently carrying them above the mossy heads of slumbering root men and women. None of them stir, thankfully, but Cardan isn’t altogether sure his arrival goes unnoticed by them, either.

Welcome home, young King, the wind seems to whisper in his ear. Cardan shivers, and it has nothing to do with the weather.

Alighting just at the edge of the hollow hill, Cardan takes a half-breath to think—and reproaches himself for not doing more of that before they had landed; the Roach’s etiolated complexion, rattling breath, and stiffening limbs are not an entirely promising combination. Then, there is yet the matter of finding Liliver, who might not even be in the palace. And even then, there is the very real likelihood that he is already too late, that the deathsweet’s effects may have already reached its peak.

Cardan has to swallow against the bile creeping up his throat at that unsettling thought.

If only Jude had just come with him. Mistress of strategy and scheming, she would have drawn up a clever plan before they even took flight, as well as a surfeit of contingencies. Moreover, she would know better than he whether or not they held the favor of time; her province of poison is concerningly vast, as she had proven when Cardan himself very nearly shuffled off his immortal coil in dissolution.

Jude had known in an instant, merely by tasting the wraithberry that had stained his lips. How she knew its savour, to say nothing of how she knew it so intimately, Cardan knows not and she has yet to divulge. It is but another closely-clutched secret he must tack onto the growing list of queries for things a man really ought to know about his wife.

In the interim, the High King of Elfhame—and, more regrettably, the Roach—must rely entirely on himself.

Not much of a comfort, that.

Keeping a hand on the Roach to prevent his suffering an unnecessary fall from the horse, Cardan swings himself off of the thing’s back. With care, he lifts the inanimate body of his mentor into his arms. A low, distressed groan comes from the Roach at being jostled—the first sign of cognizance he’s shown since they left Grimsen’s forge. As pained as the sound is, it nonetheless gives Cardan a small hope that perhaps he hasn’t been too late after all.

Its magic spent, the ragwort pony dissolves in a puff of yellow perianths; an indolent breeze scatters some of the remnants across the dark hill, while others continue their aimless drifting to pollinate elsewhere on the isles. Cardan watches a lone petal catch in the wiry hair of the Roach’s brow and without thinking, he brushes it away. He justifies this allowance of rare gentleness with the fact that no one is around to bear witness to it.

As friendship goes, Cardan is all too aware he hasn’t known much in the way of loyalty or for reasons beyond selfish gain. His former companions had desired only what they could glean from him, the immunity his sway as a prince that had granted them the ability to carry out whatever deviant fancy they could dream up. Even Nicasia had had her own contrivances for being his lover, until she had ultimately found more excitement in the stories—and bed—of Locke.

He is not experienced in having a friend simply for the sake of it. In having someone—or a few someones, for that matter—enjoy his wit and cleverness and skills. That enjoy him, Cardan Greenbriar, rather than what advantages the crown atop his head can give.

Perhaps it is dangerous territory for a king to have bonds extending beyond those of mere allies. Perhaps the trust that comes with such friendships is a bit like handing over a blade to your enemy, freshly sharpened, and saying, Here you go, this holds all the ways with which to kill me. I’ll just turn my back.

Even so, when all you have known your entire life is the contempt and malignancy of those who ought to love you, it is not an entirely stunning realization that you would hand over that blade so willingly.

And he had done, in earnest; in his naivety with Nicasia. In his camaraderie with the Court of Shadows. In everything with Jude.

This is doubtless the reason Cardan’s feet begin to move now, carrying him and the Roach in his arms to the palace entrance with some new swell of confidence. Perhaps it is a detriment to believe that these new friends would not be so hastened and flippant as the last to betray him, but he believes it nevertheless. He also knows, albeit by way of unfortunate experience, that when the situation had been reversed, they had not wasted an idle moment in saving him.

So on he goes, through the wall and into the brugh, careful to keep the Roach’s pallid face hidden in the crook of his arm and denying any assistance his guards offer with a firm shake of his head. They move to follow, but halt at once and return to their posts when Cardan waves them off. Of the merits that come with being King, Cardan is especially grateful that denying explanations is one of them.

Even more fortuitously, his journey is not further hindered by any member of the Living Council—who have undoubtedly been tearing at their beards and skirts attempting to locate and descend upon their unruly monarch. Cardan imagines even now they are in the war room or assembled in his chambers, pacing and theorizing and crying out in panic. At the thought of the Minister of Keys pounding his fists on the table and cursing his luck for having such an impudent master to serve, the corner of Cardan’s mouth twitches. If only the wizened Randalin had the sense to make himself more difficult to nettle, perhaps Cardan would try to do so less.

Though the hill is yet alive, with lingering revelers still clutching the edges of twilight and servants clearing the remnants of food and drink, the many tricks of sly-footing he has been taught manages to keep him out of sight from any who might notice; it takes no time at all to slip through the hidden passage, into the wine cellar and emerge on the other side of the new Court of Shadows.

Cardan had hoped to show and consult Jude on the plans for these rooms, including the strategy chamber he had in mind for her—of which he was particularly proud: he had designed it himself—after she pardoned herself and returned to him. That hadn’t gone entirely the way he had imagined, and so they had gone on with the rebuilding without her. Cardan resolves that now, he can simply give her a full tour of them, should she come back posthaste. Should she decide to come back at all.

No, he rebuffs that line of thinking. Jude will return, just as she promised. When she comes home, Cardan will lead her through the rebuilt Court, and she will ooh and ahh and find him so ridiculously clever she’ll be too awed to do anything but kiss him for his prodigiousness.

She will forget she had ever been angry with him—or, at the very least, spare him the full measure of her wrath. She will forgive him for his trickery and assure him again that she had not fed his letters to the fire; she will tell him how desperately she missed him, that the mortal world is awful and terrible and nothing worth going back to. He will kiss her hair and tell her they need never be parted again. They will begin their reign as they should have done the moment their vows were made, and all will be just fine and well and as it should be.

These are all of the things Cardan tells himself as he steps into the main chamber.

He chuckles quietly to the darkness, a sudden incredulity sweeping over him; after all his prior distaste for mortals and those little hopeful deceits they allow, to wish away an awful thing or to make that awful thing seem less terrible, he has caught himself doing just that. He wonders what Jude might say, if he said her mortality was rubbing off on him?

Upon entering the main hall, Cardan is met with a collective gasp—either from the sudden, unannounced arrival of the High King or at the state of the Roach, he doesn’t know, nor does he have time to find out; before he can call for her, Liliver is already there, her dark face paled and taut. She does not seem to even notice Cardan, her frantic, wide-eyed gaze fixed on the Roach.

“What happened to him?” The Bomb demands, seeming to realize Cardan’s presence only as an afterthought, though he does nothing to reprimand her for her tone. The current circumstance, along with the raw fear on the rogue’s face, is enough to cast any necessity for formalities into shadow.

"Darts, poisoned with deathsweet," Cardan tells her, elaborating when Liliver's piercing glare flickers up to meet him. "We... misestimated the cleverness of the traps Grimsen set to protect his forge." The Bomb frowns at that, and Cardan is sure he’ll have much more explaining to do before the night is through and she is fully satisfied, but neither of them need reminding of the more important matter at hand. “Let’s—let’s get him to a bed,” Liliver says. Though her voice wavers, her eyes never leave the disturbingly still body of the Roach as she leads them into a small room carved out from the main one.

She steps aside to allow Cardan to enter and lower the Roach onto the single bed, before seating herself on the edge of it. A bundle of tinctures and salves rest in her lap, from where or how she procured them so quickly, Cardan doesn’t know and isn’t inclined to ask. By the deep-set furrow of her brow and the way she worries her bottom lip between her teeth, she is calculating the situation and he wagers any unnecessary queries might hinder—or annoy—her deliberation. So he simply stands there, silent and helpless, watching her work.

The light emitting from the small orbs hanging above their heads does little to illuminate much of the Roach’s features, but it’s bright enough to view the waxen sheen of his skin, the odd way his limbs lie rigid at his side. He looks as close to death as one could appear, and if not for the shallow rise and fall of his chest, one could easily believe he had already gone. Cardan swallows and looks away, as if staring instead at the rough stone floor will quash the disquiet he feels.

If the Roach succumbs to the poison, he knows with whom the fault will lie, and there will be none among them to scorn him as much as he will scorn himself.

As Liliver works, sifting through the assortment of small glass bottles in her lap until she picks one filled with a thick, amber solution, Cardan gives her as much detail of the night's emprises as he can in short order: their attempted (and rather unsuccessful) rescue of Jude, of the Roach’s poisoning; of why they had entered the smith’s forge in the first place.

Upon hearing the truth behind the Ghost’s betrayal, the vial slips from her hand and Cardan barely manages to snatch it from the air before it shatters on the ground. The Bomb’s eyes are wide as saucers as she takes back the bottle, but Cardan thinks he catches the smallest glint of hope in them, despite their current predicament.

“You mean, all this time... he was being commanded? Controlled by Locke and Madoc?”

Cardan nods. “Doubtless by my brother as well, though Jude didn’t say one way or another.”

He wouldn’t have considered it debasing of Dain's character to control someone in such totality. In fact, he has no misgivings at all that there was anything, save perhaps a grubworm, that had been beneath his brother. He shakes his head and shrugs, more to his own thoughts than the Bomb's question. “I’ll let her tell us which it is, when she comes home.”

It is too afflictive to imagine she will not, that he has yet again voraciously lapped up a lie she has fed him. He cannot believe that as he waits, Jude is riding off through the air with her sisters back to the mortal world, laughing as she tells them how effortlessly she has fooled the desperate High King of Faerie.

He will have time enough to wallow in his own selfish, agonized reveries; Cardan wills his attention back to the present, back to the Bomb and the Roach, who appears even less on the fortunate side of time since they arrived.

“Will he…” Live, or die. Both words are there on his tongue, but he cannot bring himself to say either and the question lingers, thick and unfinished in the air between the three of them. Liliver doesn’t seem willing—or able to answer, only giving him a small shake of cloud-white curls as she keeps her back to him.

Watching how carefully she wipes the Roach’s forehead with a damp cloth, hearing the hushed, unintelligible things she tells him, the understanding that Cardan perhaps ought not intrude further becomes all too clear. He has completed his task, what he promised Jude he would do. There is nothing more required of him.

With Liliver’s promise that she will send word of any changes, good or ill, Cardan excuses himself from the Court of Shadows.

Cardan spends the remainder of the day in his chambers attempting sleep, because he has proved himself of little use elsewhere, there is nothing else to do, and because if Jude were here she would tell him a High King needs rest if he is to go delegating and answering petitions and doing whatever else there is that good, proper kings are supposed to do.

However, it is precisely because Jude isn’t here that he cannot rest.

Though he does give it an honest effort. He tries lying on his back, drawing forth tiny white blossoms to count as they bloom above his head, aiming to bore himself into a stupor. He counts and counts and counts. The mingling fragrance of several different flowers permeates the room and penetrates his nose. When he reaches six hundred forty-seven for the third time, he gives that up.

Exasperated, Cardan flops onto his side, stretching an arm across the sheets. He stares at the empty space beside him, where Jude had rested the first night they had spent together—the night he had convinced her that becoming Queen of Elfhame, his wife, was the better choice for both of them.

It had all been true, of course: everything Cardan had said to get her to agree. There had been no deception or scheming in his words; he had desired his freedom, as desperately as Jude craved power, and their union had the ability to grant both in absolution.

The Living Council had become insistent on the idea that their King should take a wife anyway, for their own overboring political reasons, and so Cardan had.

The only addendum to all of this, the only detail that he had surreptitiously kept from both the Council and Jude, was that he wanted to marry her. Not Nicasia, as the Council had wanted, as Cardan had once believed he should and could enjoy. Not the hag Mother Marrow’s daughter, who likely would have found some clever way to cause his demise so that she might live on as the sole ruler of Faerie. None of them would have been well-suited for him, nor he well-suited for them. None of them could give him what he wanted, because what he wanted was Jude.

That is all he wants now—to have her home and here in his bed, to fill the space that has been empty since she left. Since he made her leave.

Cardan pushes himself off the bed in a frustrated huff. Deciding he could do with a little less sober thinking, he calls for wine, and when the servant arrives with a fresh decanter and goblet, he fills it to the brim and drinks it to the dregs. After repeating this process a few more times, Cardan rounds the large desk—his father’s desk, he cannot help to remind himself, no matter how many times he sits at it—to continue the speech he’s been writing. He picks up the slip of paper between two fingers and holds it to the guttering candle flame to examine it. It’s already a rather lengthy speech, admittedly, but more important than any he has articulated yet. It is one explaining to Jude that her exile had not been methodically planned, that he thought she would work it out much more expeditiously. He would further explain he had not accounted for the fact she hadn’t worked it out at all, and that he had come to fully regret his own cleverness midway through his second letter.

Of course, Jude had told him she hadn’t received any of those letters.

He cannot help recalling how she looked at him then, the last time they were here in his rooms: skittish and trembling, desperate as a wild animal backed into a corner.

Hardly a fortnight has passed since Madoc had taken her, believing he had heroically rescued her twin from nigh execution. And yet it feels as distant as any half-remembered dream upon waking, blurred on the details and every attempt to grasp the memory only causes it to slip further away. Like a hand waving smoke.

Except a dream is something usually pleasant; smiling faces, a kiss one might yearn for in the waking world and only receive when they close their eyes. Dreams are things of wonderment. Pretty visions and heart’s desires.

No, it had not been like a dream at all—not the way she had looked at him.

That hatred, burning into him like white-hot iron, the fear she could lie away with words but could not conceal from her face, the venom in her voice when she spoke. It was more terrible than any of Cardan’s nightmares.

Everything you say to me, everything you promise, it’s all a trick. And I, stupid enough to believe you once.

He had wanted to reach out to her, to take her hand and tell her his trick had been only that, a hasty plan to keep her out of Orlagh’s grasp. He had wanted to pull her to him and breathe in the comforting scent of her hair, to feel her warmth against his chest. To beg her forgiveness and will away her anger with a kiss.

Then he had seen the glint of the blade in her hand.

Even after Vivi’s flustered explanation of her sister’s capture, after he and the Roach had set out from the mortal world to find her—even after their brief moment in Madoc’s camp just hours ago, when Jude swore she hadn’t thrown in her lot with her betrayer of a foster-father, Cardan cannot rend from his mind the image of her holding that knife.

He passes the paper through the flame and watches it burn until it is nothing but a stain of black ash on the desk.

Waving away the lingering smoke, he rises and goes to dress for the night ahead, without rest, and knowing that no amount of sleep or drink or honeyed words will erase what he has done—or may yet do.

⊰ ☘ ⊱ okAY so this first bit turned out a lot longer than I'd originally intended (legit this whole thing was supposed to just be a oneshot lmfao) but if you made it this far, I'm very sorry but thanks for taking the time to read. I hope you enjoyed it, and as usual—if you didn't, don't tell me about it.

If you want to be added to my tag list, just yeet a reply to this post and I'll add you.

⊰ ☘ ⊱ @euridce @figonas @jurdanhell

[impossiblefangirl0632]

👀 what is your inkpot gods letters wip? i am v curious

I have a published fic called Inkpot Gods and Stolen Time where Bruno had a vision that made him choose between either him or Pepa dying young. Obviously he chose to protect Pepa. The fic starts on the day he dies (not permanently dead if the miracle (and the author) has anything to say about it) and Pepa is there with him at the end.

Inkpot Gods letters is when I thought it was going in a slightly different direction and they weren't gonna know what happened to him until Casita shows then the letters Bruno wrote for all of them.

And because I'm never going to post it otherwise this is one of them. (Fair warning for heavy angst and I won’t be offended in the slightest if it’s doesn’t sound like your cup of tea)

"Pepa, I'm addressing this to you because, well you'll see I guess but really it's for all of you (don't tell the kids tell their older this isn't going to be kid friendly) I guess some part of me is still naively hopeful that you'll never read this. But that kind of defeats the purpose of seeing the future, I mean we already know prophets aren't immune from denial. I guess I should stop trying to think of a better way to say it but here goes. If you're reading this I'm dead. I don't know if you already knew that or not. If I'm missing well maybe knowing will help? The fact of it is I can't see anything past when I'm murdered. I don't know if anyone will find my body I don't know how long it will take for anyone to be concerned given that I routinely disappear for days on end. I guess you can know now that that's on purpose I just I just don't want any of you to see. I mean I was scared for life watching it happen in a vision when I was a teenager I don't want any of you to have to carry the memory of seeing it in person. I'm rambling aren't I? Even on paper my thoughts don't make sense. But for you Pepa I'll try to be clear for once. 

When we were 14, the night before your first hurricane,  I had the vision at the bottom of this box (please dont look, everytime I break it it ends up back in here). It was … different. I saw two paths that branched off of one decision. Your hurricane happened, it was always going to, you were a teenager it's NOT YOUR FAULT. You died in one path and I died in the other.

It wasn't a difficult decision. So I made you angry, I told you and everyone listening that the hurricane was my fault because I saw it happen. You've been mad at me for that for 20 years. Well now you know why. That's why I never apologized. Because I refuse to regret my choice. If it came down to me or you anyone with a brain would chose you to live. You deserve to be happy. And then a few years after that I saw your future family with Felix. It made me happy because I knew that you were going to be okay. Because to be frank I haven't trusted a single person in this town to that day. You all thought/think? Tense is hard when speaking of my future that is your past. You all thought I was being paranoid, well knowing sometime in your 30s someone is going to kill you will do that to a person.

Pepa youve been angry with me about that ever since. I wish there had been another way. That somehow we could have stayed close after that but, I couldnt risk it. In order to make sure they didnt blame you I had to make them hate me instead. Which honestly wasnt even that hard everyone already thought I was evil before that anyway they just needed a bit of a push to cement me as the black sheep and you two as the angel sisters with the misfortune to be stuck with me as your demon of a brother.

Please help Julieta to not blame herself. We both know she will. I've known how this was going to play out for 20 years and I chose not to tell anyone. This was always going to happen. Even before that vision I knew I wasn't going to live very long. I've always been able to see both of your futures. I've seen what your grandkids look like. But I've never seen myself looking any older than I do now. 

This really is getting too long. If I have time I'll rewrite it maybe make it make more sense. If I have time what a terrible thought. It's soon. I know it's soon. I can feel it. The morning of our last birthday I knew I wouldn't make it another year.  

Don't worry about me. I made my peace with this a long time ago. Doesn't mean I'm not terrified but I know there's no point trying to avoid it.

I know you'll be okay. All of you will be okay. Thank you for being my family. I love you. -Bruno

[scolopendreverie]

Time to cave a little and be a bit horny on main actually. I'm just gonna dump some abstract mixed thoughts tm probably a bit incohesive but if youve followed me for a while you should be used to that by now anyways.

If you know me irl don't read this I'm deadass serious I will kill you you know who you are.

It should go without saying that this is nsfw btw lmao if you're under 18 LEAVE

Anyways I already said this like 2 minutes ago but I'm still thinking of sensitive Fe Moany panty and whimpery Fe even. Fe who can't control his volume. Fe who can't keep his body still and bucks at the slightest touch. Greedy Fe who wants more and more and more. Oh you know he gets so very excited.

Thinking about... Felix trembling post orgasm. Hands and thighs just shuddering. Trying to catch his shaking breath right beside his partners ear.

Thinking about how pretty his back would look arched. and I know I talk about how grabbable his waist is constantly but imagine how much more grabbable that would make his waist. so easy to just pull up and pin right against you. His hair splayed out on whatever surface you've got him against giving you full view of his pretty face. His quivering eyelids. Pulling himself together just long enough to give you a smirk that you can wipe right off his face with a single well placed touch. Possibly even thinking about watching his chest rise and fall faster and faster as he gets more n more worked up. Mayhaps even wrapping his legs so tightly around his partner like he couldn't possibly get them close enough, so that he can have them all to himself,,,

I think one should simply pin his wrists above his head and kiss on his neck and work their fingers in a his right spots until he's completely undone and desperate to go further.

I think. I understand why rime has a thing for choking now.

Thinking about...: running hands thru his hair, pulling his hair to pull his head back (he has a beautiful neck and you know it, let it arch too. Also I want to see his throat bob as he moans,,), how beautiful his legs must be, still thinking about his legs trembling, the way he would look at you from under those lashes, his face painted with ectasy as it's pushed up against the sheets or his desk, him trying to maintain any composure during foreplay and failing miserably, gradually,,, him being so eager his teeth knock against urs, him unintentionally dragging his fingernails down ur back and leaving marks (it just felt that good), him covered in hickeys, him in thigh highs (STILL), how pretty he would look giving oral and the way he'd look up.... how very pretty he is in general.... N how much I want to see him completely ruined and unraveled.

Thinking about him getting hit with exhaustion like a train after getting off and falling asleep on/under you, hugging you close, looking like an absolute angel.

Hope you consider these deeply I have more thoughts on him but it's 6am and I haven't slept. If you have your own thoughts. Feel free and encouraged to add.

Also thinking about him being a bit of a cumslut but I'm not going to elaborate on that yet that feels too explicit

[corpsehusband-simp]

Not Alone Anymore

Request: So I am a huge simp for corpse husband as well and I watched his live stream and noticed how much he simps for Sukkyuno like kissing him, touching eyeballs, and follows him, so I was wondering if I could request where he does the same for the reader and makes comments about them while he streams then in the end he forgets to unmute his mic when they were voting so everyone hears him later even the reader so they call him a simp and the ending is up for you and could the reader be the opposite of him too please? Also could u add about the reader wondering why he is following her around and so?

A/N: I hope you guys enjoy!!!

“No Felix is the imposter! I swear on every that that is holy he was standing over the body!” You yelled trying to be louder than the Swedish man.

“Bullshit! I was minding my own business trying to do my tasks when I saw y-“

“LIAR!” Everyone laughed at your argument.

“Okay okay y/n” you smirked hearing corpses low voice.

“No I’m not lying!”

“Felix shut up corpse is talking!” You shushed him making everyone laugh more. It was a big pet peeve of yours when people talked over Corpse.

“Okay y/n deadass, did you kill Jack?” You took in a deep breath. 

“Deadass corpsie I did not kill Jack”

“Welp there we have it she didn’t do it.”

“I dont know Corpsie are you sure you dont want to question Felix” Charlie teased. Your cheeks turn a deep shade of red which makes your chat blow up even more.

“She said deadass”

Everyone voted Felix off and the game was won. You let out a deep breath sitting back in your chair. 

“Thank you for avenging my death y/n” Jack says in an accents that made him sound like a warrior(I don’t know if that made sense) you sit back up and salute even though you know he can’t see you. 

“Of course, I did it with honor sir!” 

Once everyone was loaded back in its decision to change the map to Polus. The game starts you let out a deep breath seeing you weren’t imposter and start making your way around doing your tasks. You freeze seeing that Corpse was following you around. 

“What the heck is he doing” you laugh. He dances around you a little before walking towards the snowmen. “Fuck it I’ll follow him” you slowly follow him and he dances around the snowmen. You can’t help but laugh more and dance around it with him. After a moment you stop dancing and decide you should actually start doing your tasks, so you start to head up to the laboratory. You bite your lip a little noticing that Corpse was still following you. You shake your head and continue to walk.

DEAD BODY REPORTED

“Jesus” You jump a little and look at whos all dead before unmuting your mic. 

“The body was in labs” Jack speaks first before anyone can start arguing.

“Okay where was everyone?” Toast is the first to speak.

“Y/N was with me, we were on a date by the snowmen.” Corpse speaks matter a factly. You cant help but laugh.

“Is that what we were doing? Damn, we didn’t even touch eyes.” you say with fake hurt.

“I was getting there but you walked away!”

“Okay you two we have two dead bodies and the time is running out.”

“It was Sean!” Felix yells out.

“Lies I would never kill Sykkuno!” 

“Okay im skipping we have no solid evidence” 

Once everyone skipped and you were back in the game. You paused for a moment before dancing around Corpse then lead him back to the snowmen. You both pause for a moment, corpse is the first to move forward touching his little among us characters eye to yours.

“Aww guys look were touching eyes! Is this first or second base?” You laugh trying to hide the deep blush that was still creeping up your face. The lights turn off and you make the mistake of stepping away from corpse for two seconds. 

DEAD BODY REPORTED

You gasp seeing there were only 3 people left and one of them wasnt Corpse.

“Okay I understand this looks really bad but I swear I didnt kill Corpse.” Poki scoffs.

“Liar youve been the only one near him this whole round.”

“Which is very sus of you to point out Poki, why would I kill the one person that was my alibi the whole game. Plus I would never Kill Corpse.”

“Siiiiiiimp” Toast yells. “Also its one hundred percent poki.”

“WHAT its Toast!!!!” With out another word you and toast vote for poki, she sighs and votes for herself.

“I knew I shouldnt have killed corpse.” Everyone cheers and laughs. You all agree to play one more games and as its loading in you hear something that makes your stomach fill with butterflies.

“I know chat shes really really cute, but Im gonna end up making a complete idiot of myself becasue im way to anxous.” 

“Corpse” You voice is soft, trying to make sure you didnt have any malice in your voice. “Youre not muted.” Everything goes completely silent. You mute your main mic so your stream couldnt hear you and you look up corpses stream on your other monitor. 

“I feel really dumb. Everything is gonna be really awkward now. Not gonna lie Im probably gonna get off stream after this.” You grab your phone calling Corpse, It takes a moment but he answers.

“H-hey..” His voice was shaky.

“I think youre really cute too. And you shouldnt feel embarrassed.”

DEAD BODY REPORTED

Youre eyes dart to the screen and sign in relief seeing you and Corpse were both dead.

“Im sorry if I made you uncomfortable.”

“Corpsie, you didnt make me uncomfortable. I promise. I wouldnt have called if I was uncomfortable.”

“Why did you call?” You bite your lip.

“Because I wanted to make sure you knew that I Felt the same way...and also wanted to thank you for the ice breaker because I was to nervous to make the first move.” Corpse chuckles.

“I know were in the middle of a pandemic but would you mayde want to have a facetime movie date?” You gasp and nod.

“I would love that, lets talk more after the game okay?” 

“Okay” you both hang up and return to your streams. You both end up playing a few more games before collectively ending your streams. You quickly run to your bedroom and change into something a little more cute but still comfy. You look in the mirror pushing out your hip a little. 

“Im a bad bitch, Im cute as fuck.” You givee yourself a little pep talk before going back to your room and facetime corpse. 

“Hey Y/N” You mentally curse youself for blushing before anything has ever happened.

“Hey corpsie, ready for movie date?” He chuckles.

“Yes but the more important question is who gets to pick the movie?” You think for a moment.

“You pick first then if you are sick of me yet then Ill pick the second movie.” 

“Deal.”

You guys end up watching three movies but sometime during the second movie you both had forgotten about what was playing and started talking. You lay face to face on the phone and talk for a few hours getting to know eachother better.

“I’ve just gone through life kind of alone, thats kind of why I dont leave very much. I dont want to go outside and be this ball of anxiety of a human while also being a lone while I do it.” You try and blink away the tears as corpse speaks. It broke your heart. 

“Well I’m here now, you arent alone anymore Corpse. I will drive my ass all the way over to you just to hold your hand and go outside. And if thats too much then send me a kist and I’ll get you what you need. You dont have to be alone in this.”

“Im not alone anymore” Corpse whispers. You shake your head.

“Not anymore. Ive got you.”

✨Taglist ✨

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[blossom-hwa]

ihi lina! these past 2 nights, i ve been staying up late until early morning to binge-read your works one at a time. i am one of those who already read most of your stray kids fics but your way with words made me want to try all your works. i really had a fun time looking through all the stories youve written. this may be a long ask but i really just want to share my reactions through some of the ones i recently read hehe.

Whispers of Nature (plus TTA): out of all the stories under this alternate universe, i ve only read bloom before. first in the list, brave. at first i thought this will end with the reader dying. fortunately it didnt! i wouldve cried more if it did. chan saving reader from self-hate really softened my heart. the words he told her. the words that encouraged her to face the truth head-on and gain courage. i love every single one those. next, constellation! if i were the main character, i dont think i would be able force myself to stay and enjoy the remaining days that felix has before going back to the sky. the love that l have for him will grow deeper after all. although, it is true that it would seem selfish in felixs perspective. and thats what i like about this story the most. how reader made amends with him after avoiding him for the past days (?). she made the last memories of felixs here on earth the happiest he could ever have even if it will hurt her so much in the end. its also comforting to know that even if the two of them are so far away from each other physically, their hearts and souls are the closest they have ever been. felix is watching over her by the border between sky and earth. its a bittersweet story that was the best read after something as sweet-ended as brave. time and time again is the third story i read on the first night. from the start up until the end, it made my eyes swell from tears. every single life that reader had to live through with the knowledge that she and changbin will never end up together hurt me like a bitch :< my favourite life story of hers was of her first reincarnation. if im not wrong, it was the time where changbin was a son of some noble while reader was just a seamstress in the village. maybe its because it was their first reunion after changbin died an unknown death from her first life. or maybe its because of how they fell in love only through, as you stated, "vivid conversations, knowing smiles, and in the end, the barest brush of his hand". i honestly also dont know. what im sure is though, this specific lifetime of theirs was the closest to my heart. lastly, moonstruck. perhaps i shouldve started with this one first given that the other spin-offs gave so much spoilers about changbins history. but i guess, im also thankful that i read it last. it readied my heart for what was about to come. out of all the WoN aus, moonstruck was the only one that ended with the readers death (not including bloom since she was still alive at the end of the main story). still, it was inevitable that i would sob no matter how much i know about the outcome. their love is just really wholesome. periodt. plus the moon goddess (?), his mother. i love how supportive she was about everything changbin did. the end was depressing and intense! i figured out as much that she will die, given that it was mention on brave that someone special to changbin was killed off by the opposing kingdom. they almost got away from the king but i guess fate, or maybe you, have other plans for them :<<

Pearlescent + Bloom, Bloom, Pow!: these were the stories that i finished last night! starting off with pearlescent. the first part was so intense in a way that i really had no idea how it will end. i love the readers transformation from being a helpless child who got taken away from her mother to a woman who knew how to fight for herself even if it was just the simple 'talking back'. what happened to her was very traumatizing, just uttering a simple yes right in front of that king (🤢) wouldve needed a lot of bravery. yes, she was broken about her mothers death that she witnessed firsthand, but still, props to her for staying strong. something as disturbing as that wouldve wrecked and crushed anyone to pieces. still, with her determination and the help of sangyeon, she was able to break free from the shackles that bound her down. and in some way, im really proud of her character. when younghoon appeared unannounced and brought back happiness to her, i felt so happy for them. younghoons really understanding :"> i can see why reader fell for him. their progress as romantic partners were slow and thats exactly how i love it. after all, you need time to gain trust within one another. the closing for this ask, bloom, bloom, pow! there were two moments where your story gave me a bunch of butterflies in my stomach. first! when changmin got jealous of eric when he and reader bumped into each other. the second time was when reader jumped on changmin and they almost kissed. the whole story was full of fluffy moments, my heart didnt take it lightly. after the awkward silence of their moment with them being on top of each other (?) , i remember changmin walking out without dancing. it made me remember kevins words that at times he doesnt dance, it means hes pissed as fuck. when i realised that, i screamed so loudly :"> and the cafe scene from where changmin got envious of eric because reader and eric had been conversing too long with each other. after separating ways and reader looked back when she felt someone starting at her back, it really made me flusterd. i can imagine a changmin wearing round glasses in a big sweater just staring back at her. other than those two, the shenanigans of TheBoyz schemer line got me enjoying the story to its full extent. kevin being a loudass, eric being the chill and mature type, and younghoon being, well younghoon. it was really hilarious. contrary to the previous works of yours that i read, it was a breathe of fresh air. so far, this is my favourite of yours, sorry bloom. i was smiling and giggling all throughout. it was so cute huhu. i love every charavter so much. younghoons “Tell me you fucking kissed. You better have.” is literally me, please.

it may sound so stupid, but reading your tbz fics got me listening to their songs. ive heard of them before but was just too lazy to start trying them out. for some reason, your stories gave the push and motivation i needed to finally start HAHAHA anyways, im still continuing on finishing every single scenario from your tbz masterlist so maybe expect another ask? once i find the time away from my studies. maybe start your ateez and golden child masterlist after that. im just basically after your writing lol if youve reached this far in the ask, thank you for taking the time to read it. just knowing that you acknowledge this brings me joy since youre undoubtedly one of my favourite authors here in tumblr. i hope you have a nice day/night lina!

- anon who liked bloom and under the snow, now all your works lol

okay I'm sorry this took so long to answer but I really really wanted to address everything here because GOD anon I was feeling so much like shit when I saw the notification for this ask but as I kept reading, I kept feeling better and better. just want to emphasize that. because oh my god, leaving these brief reviews on so many of my works all at once is just?? anon it's so overwhelming but in the best way possible, I swear I almost started tearing up when I was reading this ask for the first time. I remember your ask about bloom/under the snow and I appreciated that so much but I never imagined you coming back to binge my works in just a couple of nights like?? first of all make sure you're getting enough sleep !!! but second of all thank you thank you thank you THANK YOU for taking the time to read all of those works and then taking more time to send this lovely ask. the fact that you said I'm one of your favorite authors here makes me feel very warm and happy :) so thank you so much!!!

also, what the fucK my works have gotten you into tbz?????????????? I feel like god what the fuck anon I'm so glad you stan them now and to know that it's because of me..... >:) does that mean I can get you into ateez/golden child as well??? JK JK but really, this made me smile so much when I first read it :) just as a plug for some of my mutuals here, if you're interested in reading more for the boyz I'd recommend checking out @wavesmp3 (shawna) and @thepixelelf (casey), they've got some really really good stuff!!!!

good luck with your studies, anon, and I hope you have the loveliest day!!

[ivyuns]

skz masterlist by ivyuns

✰ - fluff ❆ - angst

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            ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆　　 ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆   

bang chan

- the day you left ❆

↳ y/n was in a horrifying accident, making chan suffer and maybe some other person too.

- love me in a year ✰❆♞

↳ chan kidnaps a girl who he’s been looking for 5 years. with his tricks, he makes y/n fall in love with him in under a year. (from 365 days)

lee know (minho)

- hours without you ❆ ✰

↳ minho and y/n got into an argument, a bit too heated. making y/n leave the house. they meet again at a park, but someone special to them is now lost.

- 09:19PM ❀

- love again ❆✰

↳ after falling out of love with minho during high school, you see him again after 4 years and learn to love each other again.

seo changbin

- lost ✰❆

↳ on the way to visit your boyfriend at the studio and surprise him, you get into an accident, making the life inside of you be in danger.

- take a break ✰

↳ having a collab with 3racha, the four of you go on break and changbin asks you if you could help him with his english.

hwang hyunjin

- a little jealousy ❆♞♣

↳ hyunjin becomes jealous as he sees his girlfriend hanging out with his friend.

- violation ❆♞♣

part one | part two

↳ hyunjin as your childhood best friend, years go by and his mafia gang has ordered hyunjin to kill you.

- gone ❆✰

↳ after accidentally sleeping with hyunjin and start having feeling with each other, you two part ways due to the forbidden feelings. then you have pregnancy symptoms.

han jisung

- moral of the story ❆ ✰

part one | part two

↳ you went to visit your boyfriend on his tour since you missed him, only to find some other girl in his hotel room, alone with him.

- we’ll be alright ❆✰

↳ y/n has suicide thoughts and jisung is on the way to help you and bring sunshine into your life again.

- landing in my heart ❆ ✰ (currently on hold)

chapters

↳ unexpected weather has entered while y/n goes paragliding. she ends up waking somewhere illegal and only one person who can help her go back to her home country, who is in a SK military. (based off of crash landing on you)

lee felix

- airplane ✰❀

↳ you surprise felix with his dream vacation on his birthday <3

- 1:04 am

↳ after your mom passing, you were in deep depression until felix came to save you

kim seungmin

- 08:12AM ❆

- summer feelings ✰

↳ the love never ends in summer

- come back to me again ❆ ✰

↳ seungmin and y/n breaks off their relationship right as seungmin is about to debut. two years later, you finally debut but seungmin happens to now know what youve been doing the past years.

yang jeongin

- breaking glass ❆✰

↳ on the way back home after your third year anniversary dinner with jeongin in the dark roads, a deer runs into your side of the car which results you in serious injuries.

- a failed valentines date ❆✰

↳ jeongin was too busy with his job and ends up forgetting his valentines date with y/n. after coming home and seeing everything set up but you weren’t seen, he knew he messed up.

          ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆　　 ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆   

last updated: january 15, 2022

[actor-mark]

Youve always been a huge story teller. Xould you maybe tell us a story here? Anything off the top of your head? -🐝

-PREEEEEEEEEEEESH-

-Mark has gone into full Chaos mode. A kill right off the bat in the opening room right under everyones nose and he’s getting away with it!- 

“A story? Hmmm... Alright Chaos story it is, one sec” 

-Mark proceeds to get a skipped vote and the game continues, immediately he waits out his timer following Jack out of the room, killing him and hopping in a vent immediately and just waits there- 

“Ok so... Story time... There was this moment about a week ago, while we were filming Camp Unus Annus. There’s a river there, leads to this huuuuge waterfall basin, we took a day from filming to just enjoy the camping and went for a swim” 

-Mark hops out of the vent as someone comes for the body, kills them too, hops back in and waits- 

“so me and Ethan head all the way up this giant ass waterfall, and we dived off the top down into the basin and I swear to god ! NOT A LIE! We found treasure down there”

-Felix spots the two bodies, but Marks timer isnt up yet, he hops out and immediately runs after Felix, who runs, Mark doubles back, hops in the vent, shifts ahead, hops out, kills Felix, hops back in, shifts himself up to the upper corner and wanders into a room with Ethan and pretends to do a task until the bodies are found-

[the-epsilon-ai-moved]

rvb 17×09 spoilers

locus you babey i missed you

felix you fucking RAT i missed you more

tucker is good SO GOOD he could have saved wash, he could have killed felix, but he didn't!!! he really is the strongest motherfucker out here

every time miles luna opens his mouth i be like: *in love noises*

poor lopez

fuck. genkins.

TUCKER'S SPEECH YES FUCK IT UP BABY

"so yeah, ive got faith in him" brb gonna cry

"ok yeah he has so much concussion" felix SWEATY i love you

sarge quit fucking up the timeline I KNEW I SHOULD BE SCARED

do you think that that one video they uploaded last week (the unlisted one) is canon?

would kinda make sense maybe

it's ridiculous i know

maaaaaaaaaiiiiineeeee

so donut talked genkins into it huh?

siblings carwash,, fuck YES

"carolina, you know i love you right?" SHANNON MCCORMICK YOU PIECE IF SHIT YOUVE MADE ME CRY EVERY EPISODE FOR THE PAST 4 WEEKS I LOVE YOU YOU LOVELY TALENTED MAN

YOU TOO JEN YALL DESERVE AWARDS

"but i no longer need that little orgy genkins bc you have utterly FUCKED ME" I.LOVE.HER.

genkins is gross

"ah my second favourite companion, dont feel bad ive known the utter silence of confinement for longer" im cackling i love her

genkins is a slimy eel i hate him

give her back her power you ugly amphibian

i dont think eels are amphibians

are they? are they fish? what the fuck are eels?

ANYWAY i hate him

wash tossing his gun away and tposing was so dramatic i love him

cant wait till they kill genkins?????

CHROVOS REDEMPTION ARC PLEAAASEE

[skizmin]

you’re my favourite constellation.

stargazing!au, friends to lovers with han jisung

(this giF IM SCREAMING CUTIE)

request from @straybin: Can I request a stray kids jisung friends to lovers star gazing au! Your aus are super sweet I loved the seungmin one!

(thank you so much ily 💝💓💖💕💞💘💗)

alright lets get straight into it

so youre a highschool student with an affinity for astrology, like, you love it

for your birthdays you get astrology books and maps and even once a really cool telescope!!

its just what you love, okay?

anyway, recently youd moved in with your cousin who lived alone and needed a roommate, plus it was closer to your school than your own home.

you parents practically shoved you in there with short notice (at least they were paying rent and grocery expenses) and you were like well okay

you didnt mind your cousin at all, but she can be a bit excitable and overbearing sometimes but you have to deal with it really

“dUDE i gotta show you something follow me”

you were unpacking when your cousin said this, you set down your telescope and followed her out the front door. your cousin lived in an apartment block basically, she was on the third story out of five. there was a very cute young family across the hall from you guys n stuff

anyway she kept going up and up these stairs and you were like where the fUck are we going im so tired

she laughed and said you were almost there and proceeded to push open a big heavy door

wow

you were in complete awe

in front of you was a massive open roof, the setting sun and the wide sky completely in view from all points, and when you looked up? oh my god it just seemed so clear

“you like stargazing dont you? youre allowed to come up here all you want as long as you dont make a ruckus yeah?”

you agreed, smiling W I D E and attacking your cousin in a hug

like,, two weeks later?

you still hadnt gone stargazing on the roof yet

on top of moving in and mid term school, it was a struggle to deal with so you just didnt have the time at the moment

untillll you had a falling out with a friend. it wasnt anything too serious but a few hurtful truths were said and the added stress of everything else going on, it was just overwhelming

so when you got home that afternoon, you packed a small box with your telescope, your notebook and pens, a couple of your astrology study books and two big blankets

then, after you made and ate dinner with your cousin, you made a big cup of hot chocolate (or coffee or tea or a moccha, whatever you prefer) and told your cousin you were going upstairs and youd probably be back late so youd take a key in case she was asleep

your cousin agreed and watched you balance the massive mug and your box in your hands and also the two big pillows you spontaneously grabbed as you walked out

arriving on the roof, you laid everything out, not bothering to set up your telescope just yet and you sat back sipping your hot drink

you didnt know when you started to cry but it happened, and soon enough you where silent sobbing on your own letting out a few sniffles here and there. life was just too busy and overwhelming at the moment

it was about half an hour later when you stopped sobbing, you were still crying, wiping your tears from your face every minute or so, this was when the door to the roof opened and shut

you thought it would just be your cousin so you stayed still and aited for her to find you and comfort you

the the felt a foot hit your thigh and heard a whisper shout of “hoLY FUCK”

you sat up, hastily wiping your tears as you tried to see the dark figure in front of you, they had turned on their torch and were now shining it directly into your eyes

“i am so sOrry i didnt even see you there, were you sleeping? oh god i cant believe i just almost stepped on you- wait? are you crying? oh my god”

it was some sort of god in front of you, you were sure. perfectly tanned skin, gorgeous doe like eyes, soft cheeks and pink lips. you were pretty much mesmerised, even as he crouched down in front of you

“hey, im sorry. i really didnt mean it its just dark out, are you okay? i didnt hurt you did i?”

he sounded so unbelievably guilty that you felt bad, snapping out of it you responded with a choked out “im sorry, im fine, its okay!”

the boy in front of you smiled out of relief, eyes lingering on you before looking at the set-up around you

“im jisung, i live on 2nd floor. i havent seen you around before, i didnt know we had new neighbours”

he looked at you and tilted his head in confusion, his eyebrows furrowing and his lips set in a slight pout. your heartbeat involuntarily picked up at the sight

“oh! im uh- im y/n, i just moved in with my cousin y/c/n, she lives on third floor...” you awkwardly and shyly looked down to the ground, hastily tidying up the mess of notebooks and your hot drink as he replied

“oh! y/c/n! i know her, shes really nice. how old are you? you look a bit younger than her honestly” his brows furrowed further and he smiled lightly when you looked up at him, he was still crouching in front of you

“oh, im 17, she lives closer to my school than my parents and she needed a housemate, so here i am!” you laughed really nervously and looked down at your fingers again

jisung smiled to himself, ah, theyre cute

“oh, im the same age then!” he laughed before looking away slightly, asking the difficult question, “are you sure youre okay? you look like youve been crying,”

dread crushed your chest, he’d seen you crying, this was really embarassing for you

“oh nothing! i was just- uh, i was just a bit stressed is all” you held your breath, hoping jisung wouldnt pry any further, you really didnt want to talk about it

he laughed good heartedly, “ah yeah, we all get a bit like that sometimes. what are you doing up here though? its freezing, are you studying or something? waiT IS THAT A TELESCOPE?!”

it was your turn to laugh, this kid was really positive and seemed to know how to take a hint

“im stargazing! my cousin said i could come up here but, if you need to roof then dont worry ill go down its no porblem”

you looked at his face this time as you spoke and oh my god stop smiling at me like that 

“stargazing? thats so cool! dont worry, i only came up here for some fresh air, my housemates are a bit loud. so what, do you just look at the stars and planets or?” he finally sat dwn next to you. “can you show me a constellation?”

you giggled and nodded, you whole body tingling because of the close proximity of your bodies and the idea of the stereo-typically romantic thing you were about to do. “we need to lay back okay?”

you laid back, he followed, his head was lost to to yours and his hands rested on his stomach, he turned his head to look at you

m i s t a k e

you didnt turn to him. you were bright red at the feel of his breath fanning across your face you kept your head straight on the sky

“now what?” he softly whispered it to you, your stomach violently dipped and your heart practically stopped

youre all “uhhhh uh- well, uh, you just um- see that sorta diamond of stars over there? and then it sorta uh, has a triangle on top?”

jisung follows your line of eyesight and tries to focs on specific stars that make out the shape, he sees it “oH! i see it!”

“yeah, thats lyra, its a harp basically.”

jisung squints and you lightly turn your head to him, not fully, just enough to see his face. “oh, it does look like a harp i guess, whys it there?”

“it represents the lyre of orpheus, who was a greek poet and musician, he was killed though...”

“wow, thats sad but also so cool...” jisungs phone buzzes, you see its a message from someone called minho, asking where he is

“crap, y/n, ive gotta go but um. i really liked talking to you and im really interested in the stars now, it seems like theyve all got stories. would you mind teaching me again sometime?”

he was scratching the back of his neck awkwardly

“oh! um- yeah of course i will, i mean, yeah definitely!”

you realised you didnt have his phone, so you couldnt really get your number for him

he saw you looking and spoke up “uh, maybe just next time, um, come and grab me? my apartment is number 6, im almost always there if im not at school really. just, whenever youre going up and you feel like some company, come knock on the door or something?”

you smiled, the thought made you nervous but you did want to see jisung again. “okay, of course.”

he smiled brightly at you, you cursed your heart again, “great! ill get going then, dont stay for too long okay? youll get a cold.” he stood up and waved to you

“bye jisung!” you call out softly as he walks away

you leave not long after he left, it felt boring on your own suddenly. you didnt even remember youd been crying at all, it felt like a massive weight was lifted off of your shoulders.

you slept so easily that night, dreaming of the stars and jisung.

a week and a half later? it was a friday night 

you were packing your box to go stargazing again when you remembered jisung, you wanted to bring him along with you. he might be busy, but you packed an extra couple of blankets and soem pillows and placed them just inside your door before you went downstairs to go and get him

you were so nervous as you knocked on the door, preparing for utter embarrassment. the door opened up tho

“oh, youre not the complex owner thank god.” you were greeted by someone possibly younger than you, he had reddish hair and a sweet smile. “how can i help you?’

you tried to block out the screeches coming from inside the apartment, you could hear about five voices screaming at once “im uh, im y/n, im from upstairs? i was wondering if jisung was here at all?”

he smirked, like he knew something you didnt. “sure one sec, im seungmin by the way.” he turned away from you and screamed into the apartment “jiSUNG, SOMEONES HERE FOR YOU, HURRY UP.” 

“coMING!!” was heard throughout the apartment followed by a “fELiX gEt ofF Of mE” and seungmin smiled awkwardly at you before a head popped past the wall into the entrance way

“oh! y/n! you came!” he tried to walk over to the door but you noticed a body dragging on his legs.

“jiSUNG PLEASE DO MY CHORES FOR ME.” the boy yelled at jisungs feet

seungmin laughed, looking at you saying “ill leave you to it” before jogging over to a tangled up jisung and who you presumed was felix and tearing felix from jisungs body, dragging him away

“uh, sorry about that, hes lazy and pathetic.” jisung laughed, so did you

“i was just wondering if you were free? i was about to go up to the roof..”

jisung smiled brightly, “of course, let me get my coat and phone.”

once he was ready you two went up to your apartment, you told him to come in and wait a bit while you made him a hot drink of hit choice, then you grabbed some pillows and your box and you both walked up the remaining flights of stairs to the roof

it was the beginning of a tradition really, youd go down and grab him, his housemates would call for him as soon as the saw you, before he left theyd whisper things into his ear that made him blush but you simply shrugged it off

after about two months of going up to the roof together, you admitted to yourself that you liked him

a lot

you liked his smile, his voice, how he was endlessly making you happy, you liked he warmth of when hed lie next to you and the way he’d rest a hand on your lower back, guiding you up the stairs. you liked his goodbye hugs and the way he’d hold your hands the one week you couldnt find your gloves. you liked how he was so interested in the stars like you, but you considered giving up looking at the sky to simply look into his eyes because they held galaxies within them. you liked the way he’d whisper your name to check if you were awake and the gentle touch of his fingertips when he brushed your hair out of your eyes

you liked him so much, you couldnt deny it. it crushed you in a way, you thought he would never like you back, and you increasingly got more nervous and drifted away bit by bit

one night, you were up on the roof and jisung sighed loudly, you asked him what was wrong

“can i rant a little bit? please?” jisung had puppy eyes as he sat up and looked at you, you sat up as well and nodded for him to go on

“ah, this is hard,” he started before looking at the pot plants next to your set up that were the centrepiece of the rooftop, 

“i um, basically i like this uh, this person right? i like them as more than a friend,” your heart clenched and dropped to your stomach. oh. this was heart break. “we’ve been friends for a while and i thought, well, yeah i thought id been quite obvious with my feelings. i hoped that their shyness was them maybe reciprocating my feelings but? maybe not. lately theyve just-”

jisung huffed and looked up at you again, your heart got caught in your throat, you could see he was nervous about telling someone about his crush and he looked sad talking about the unfortunate circumstances

“theyve been distancing themselves from me. they flinch away we i try to be more affectionate and- and they just dont seem like they like me anymore. not even in a romantic way, in a friend way. and im just upset i guess. ive never ever liked someone this much before, every night im filled with these feelings of just wanted to cuddle with them and take them on dates and hold their hands and- and kiss them. the whole package. it hurts, y/n. why dont they like me?”

the sad feeling you was feeling showed in your voice as you replied. “youre a great person jisung, theyd be an idiot not to like you, seriously. i cant think of someone more deserving of love than you.” you tried to nervously look into his eyes

“then why dont they like me y/n? no one ever likes me.” he was still looking down onto the ground

“i like you jisung.” 

oh no

oh no oh no oh no oh no oh no W O R D   V O M I T

you clenched your eyes shut, your heart was beating rapidly, you cant believe you just said that when hed just been speaking about liking someone else. you wanted to cry, to bury yourself alive, anything to get out of that situation.

“really? what?” he snapped his head up, staring at you wide eyed and shocked

“nevermind jisung, forget i said it, i didnt mean to make it awk-”

jisung cupped your cheeks, you felt his warm palms and cool fingertips before you felt his lips, slightly chapped yet soft

your mind was going crazy, you barely managed to move your lips along with jisungs before he parted away, still holding your cheeks and smiling widely

“out of all the stars in this world, youre the brightest y/n.”

you died inside before realising he liked you, all the things he said earlier were about you

jisungs eyes were hopeful, happy, loving, especially when you smiled at him so purely

“jisung, kiss me again.”

and he did, pulling you into his lap and letting you tangle your fingers into his hair

he even kissed you outside your apartment, giggling in happiness and tugging you into his body before saying goodbye

jisung couldnt remember a time he’d been this happy, and honestly, neither could you.

finish!! hope you liked it omg

[neo-shitty]

toffee!

no dont apologise! i didnt check until just then so np :)

mmm yeah it is a bit trippy. hehe ITS TRUE THO. yeah sadly i think ur right, and tag blocking is probably a good idea. sometimes smut written well or not in excess is okay but goddamn when its abt 01 line and thats the whole fic... *silently blocks tags*

hehe i do that all the time lol this conversation is carrying on threads from a month ago :) mmm yeah ur probably right sadly, same. HA HE DIDNT HAVE A CHOICE and now i have someone to talk to abt them, so thats good! I KNOW felix was actually the one who got me into skz with his iconique gods menu line so i guess i have a soft spot for him. i always tell myself my bias is chan but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ guess im more whipped than id like to admit. mmm yeah that does make sense dw i hope they do that as well. YES king seungmin hIMSELF. GODDAMNIT DONT GET ME STARTED ON MINHO IN GODS MENU I DIDNT EVEN KNOW HE WAS PART OF THE GROUP UNTIL I STARTED GETTING MORE INTO THEM. BITCH (affectionate) THE LINE DISTRIBUTION HAS BEEN UTTER DOG SHIT but *deep breath* its better now so were moving on adn hoping it stays that way. sis same but i may or may not have gone thru a rlly depressed phase and actively sought out the elimination episodes so i could actually force some tears out of my emotionless shell of a heart but what cna you do? lmaoo i feel that irl, binnie deserves more vocal lines. yesss channies accent is rlly prominent then, i think also the way he structures his phrasing? is more english speaking than korean? but yeah i totally get what ur saying. AJKSAL lmao

okay then! im excited for whenever it gets done! (maybe tag me?) ahh the cold shrivelled heart of a dark au writer beats again at the thought of torturing another poor characters very soul (/j) :(( yeah that would suck not being able to see them. ohhh ur on the other hemisphere to me! were just going into spring rn. mmm smth to look forward to! YES you put it into words. they rlly are pretty independent from the company (remember how jyp rejected that other dudes songs after like 3 seconds and then how he was apparently nervous to show the song hed written to chan cos chan was so good at writing hits ahhh sweet revenge) mmmYES we rlly need a mute and remove notifications button for our brains dont we?

YES CORRECT i totally agree. some people jsut dont give it a try, adn assume its bad cos its korean smh racist assholes. yes! im coming up to my 6 month anniv actually! sis sAME, i feel like theyre being tugged into appealing to the western american market and theyre not staying as true to their artistic flair as a group, especially with only writing english songs atm. *sigh* ah well, at least theyre bringing recognition to the kpop world. AHUH dead on, theyre going to be discarded pretty soon and then where will bp be? theyll prob go solo paths which is rlly sad but what can you do when the company is run by a prideful asshole? yg is not going to last much longer in the big four if they keep this up.

hehe you get it. oooh very cool! whos ur ult? (sorry if youve said this before) mmmm yeah good decision, i feel liek thats probably a wise decision. this is my first album release as a kpop stan (not counting mixtape oh) so i think ill get it for sentiments sake. yeah! im excited for the new music! mingi was the one who got me into them, but atm my bias is seonghwa followed by san, wooyoung and ateez but jonghos high notes man *swoon* he, yeah atm ive got jake, jay, nikki, jungwon and sunoo down so just trying to get the rest :) heh, yeah kard i rlly only got into cos of bm, ive seen him like interacting with a lot of idols and he seemed nice so i decided to check out the group. ikr gunshot man *another swoon*

no noe! i didnt know what it was until i got it lol. thx toffee ill try and take that to mind :) yeah lol im on a waiting list thats not going to be free until late september so hopefully i can hold on until then. hope ur okay, that sounds like it sucks, hope you can find someone. maybe ill just take you along on my phone and the therapist can get a two for one patient deal lmaooo. mmm, sorry no i havent mentioned it before, i dont rlly talk abt it much. uhhh basically hypermobility? if you google it, it doesnt seem bad, jsut joint flexibility but ive got the severe end of the stick, leaning towards ehlers danlos syndrome so thats fun. basically it just makes it hard for me to exercise, run, jump, stand or just walk for long periods of time and gives me a lot of joint and muscle pain so... thats fun! but obviously so many other people have it worse than me, so i try not to complain. normally in young people it will improve as they get older, but my doctor said bc its severe in me, its unlikely to get much better. but again, i dont have the worst lot in the bunch, so its all g.

oh its good that its not the bad type of rain, a light sprinkling can be relaxing sometimes. aww thx darl, the concern is appreciated but it went pretty well and i managed not to cough too much on stage or kill myself trying to run around to the other side of the stage in the pouring rain so thats good! oooh tea buddies! my dogs a labradoodle, but shes a bit more of a feral poodle lol not much labrador in her at all, unless its her relentless urge to hunt down every bird that has ever walked this earth smh :((( hopefully they can come back on soon, does uni have dances?

ahhh a mood if i ever heard one. hopefully things will get better for you soon, ik anxiety sucks ass. ooh thats always good! when its sunny here, its always melt ur thongs to the pavement hot so the nicely cool sunny days are a lovely change. hehe impatience is not so good for you, but good for us that get to see ur beautiful theme early. ahh no worries, itll come eventually hopefully. and if not, then just things that make you not anxious are good. it doesnt have to be black or white, sometimes gray is good. mmmmm sames i have midterms this week to catch up on and then two weeks of end of terms so thats fun! i hope u can overcome that a little, heres some channie to be ur motivation https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a8LWyNjzOww. hah! i hear that all the time, he seems to be everywhere. did you see that tiktok of hans slowed back door rap, i stg it sounded EXACTLY like namjoon, it kinda scared me. also teh beginning of another day, sounds so much like joon i swear.

that reminds me! idk ur biases! i feel like this should be smth i should know so please! feel free to elaborate!

ahh im glad, i was worried it is. mmm same, so no hard feelings if either of us misses a day or smth. ill start worrying if weeks/months have gone by, but if its just a little while thats more than fine. ill just picture you studiously completing notes and i wont worry lol

<3 w.a. 🐺

at some point i really think i'm going to start blocking accounts because blocking tags won't be enough. i saw ask tags the other day and it just made me want to bleach my eyeballs.

i could talk about god's menu felix for hours man. the teaser for god's menu that featured his part on the bridge made me look forward to the mv release. you: biases chan, also you: lixiesbabyhands. yes you are more whipped than you think. i can't believe orange haired minho was given NOTHING during that era but they kind of made up for it in the b-sides. i also hope it stays that way. the distribution for this era was pretty fair.

"torturing another poor character's soul" in all honesty, i used to live for this. 2017 me leading up to early 2020 wrote nothing but angst. i have another aussie friend on twt and tbh i'm still really (O.o) about the seasons! jyp should be terrified skz could easily take over that company. heck if skz grow old and start their own company, they'd probably do a great job at running it. PLEASE. i have issues on muting/notifications both mentally and in real life. sometimes, i just wish to disappear.

some people in my country are just disgusting tbh. not only racist but homophobic too. they label kpop as 'gay' and it DISGUSTS me. it's a problematic behavior/mindset people in my country need to fucking get rid of. anyway, HELP ME 6 MONTHS??? and i've been in this shit for like a decade eye. tbh, i’m not fond of kpop groups trying to appeal to the western audience :// it feels like they’re losing their identity in a way. yes recognition but at what cost? yg has my favorite groups but that’s one shitty company when it comes to promoting.

okay my ult! it’s haechan from nct but i consider chan an ult too. like a close second above my whopping list of kpop boys. oh yes! you should get the album just for like a keepsake? remembrance? how did mingi appeal to you? omg did you start getting interested in ateez back when he was still on hiatus? NOT YOU BIASING THE SAME PEOPLE I DID WHEN I FIRST STARTED STANNING. the infamous ateez thot-line. jongho is easily one of the best fourth gen vocalists out here, no one can change my mind :( good luck with memorizing the rest of enhypen! just in time for the comeback too. i hope i’ll get into kard soon but i’m pretty content (and a tad bit overwhelmed) with the amount of groups i stan right now.

please hold on though, feel free to vent here if you like. thanks for the offer tho HAHA but like i’ll try to get checked here too when the cases die down a bit. i’m sorry to hear about your condition though :( please don’t ever overwork yourself to the point that your joints/muscles would ache. it’s completely valid to complain about it tho. i get that you have others in mind but keeping that mindset really doesn’t do you (like you internally) any better? so if you need to, vent your frustrations out and don’t keep it in.

oh my god, about your performance last sunday. was the stage out in the open? glad you didn’t cough too much and did well on your concert. i’m proud of you! i can never understand dogs and poor birds T_T uni doesn’t have dances unfortunately. i think there’s just one party at the end like a graduation ball. what year are you in anyway? if it’s something that you’re fine with sharing. if not, it’s cool.

good luck with your exams! and thanks for the link! AHA what a cutie. i think he does this motivation thing once in a while during his lives and it’s just comforting. yeah joon and han my irl just freaked when we made that discovery. ult crumbs for her. oh god not me forgetting about every biases when you asked. you can ask for my biases in a few groups just list down the one’s you’re interested in knowing. 

i missed yesterday because i was grinding and finishing what if we stay + school work. finally did it today. i’m sure i’ll reply in like a day or two, definitely not a month unless i state otherwise. if i ever decide to abandon this blog, i’ll let you know.

[binniesthighs]

UHMMMM WHAT JUST HAPPENED IN THT NEW CHAPTER FIRST OF ALL THE “FRECKLED BASTARD” IS NOW MY FAVOURITE THING AND THATS WHAT I WANT TO BE CALLED NOW AND THEN SEUNGMIN JUST BEING SEUNGMIN AND MINHO SAVING BEE AND CHANGBIN JUST AHHH AND THE FUCKING ENDING MY GUY YOU DID IT AGAIN WHAT THE FUCKKKKK YOUVE KILLED ME THANK YOU FOR THIS HEAVEN SENT WORK I AM 💀

ROSETTA MY BB afdsjajfdasdfa hehehee thank you so so much 🥺🥺 i had a whole ton of fun writing this chapter over my break and really getting to delve into the characters! teehee i’m so glad that ya like “freckled bastard” bc i knew that i couldn’t call him Felix AHA i was very interested to see what Felix would be like as an antagonist rather than our sunshine as usual! I loooove him! 

and seung...poor seung...i can’t stop putting this boy through the ringer LOL it’s because i love him so much 😏 Minho coming in cluch and CHANGBIN holy shit i was bursting at the SEAMS waiting to introduce him!! oh my god i love him so much in this fic! cocky sexy and expensive bin >>>>>>> 

thank you so so much for reading and your feedback my sweets!! 💕💕

[plushievash]

setion one 13 through 16 for felix?

13. Something your OC would say?“its because im better than you!” (in general)“do you even realize who i am?” (towards velia)“on some level, even i care about you mikolaj” (when they were just starting to bond)“you know leonardo im thinking...when were older if we...andrej and i are still together..id like to...you know get him a ring” (present thought :^)c)“you really are a heartless bastard.” (towards maxim;; far future)“dont roll in your grave but im going to do everything i can to protect leonardo. were losing everyone too fast. ive got to finally do something about it.” (to mikolajs grave;; far future)"you at least owe it to me after what youve done" (towards maxim;; far future)“dont worry darling i promised you id get you out of here alive” (to _____;; far future)

14. Whats their morality like?generally its goodbut if he dislikes you he can get very rude very fasthis morality has been skewed since lodovico forced him to kill leonardos adoptive parents

15. Would they live in a city, rural area, or suburb?city!

16. Which actor would you like to portray your OC? (Or a voice actor)im not sure! no one is perfect enough tbh :^/but for a voice actor since i already said..probably brotherhood ezio!! (here)

[plusultrachaos]

i sometimes wish id never been born at all

prompt: dan, one day, wishes hed never been born. he is then visited by a "ghost" (another youtuber) who shows dan everybodys lives if he was never born. dan doesnt believe that anything is worse off until they show phils life which is simply a gravestone.

A/N: i did change somethings from the prompt. i also envisioned the prompt as something similar to the Scrooge.

word count: 2113

genre: angst and if you squint fluff

tw: there are mentions and a viewing of two suicides (the viewing is against dans will  and is only on one of two suicides) there are mentions of depression and bullying. if this is something that could trigger, harm, or cause you pain of any kind, i recommend not reading this oneshot.

________________

its one of dans bad days. its one of the bad days where hes trying to be social, at least talk to phil some, maybe a bit of action on social media, before his inevitable departure from society and hopefully his own exsistance for a little while.

while hes browsing on said social media, he feels phil leaning toward him and picking something from under dans eye, pulling his hand away to reveal a small, thick eyelash.

"howd you even notice that, phil?" his voice was soft, fond, and holding no surprise at phils ability to notice the little details.

"make a wish and i might tell you." phil wore a teasing smile as he failed to wink, the corners of his mouth crinkling, showing the smile wrinkles that had developed as the years of their friendship passed.

'i wish i were never born' was the wish dan had made, he wanted to go hide away, hide the wish hed made in his brain to echo there for hours. everybodys lives would be better, easier, if he hadnt been born in the first place, all the haters wouldnt have to hate him in the first place. phil would probably be further in life. his family wouldnt have him as a disappointment.

"i have to go to my room." he looked at phil, whos face was still in  sort of close proximity to his own face. he didnt say why, or what he was going to do once in there, but phil knew him well enough to understand why the younger man had been quiet the entirety of him being up and out of his room, why he hadnt laughed at a single funny thing that phil had shown him.

"okay. remember to drink water and come out of there when you need food, okay?" phils eyes held the usual, useless, concern that dan knew phil didnt actually feel. dan wasnt worth the concern and he definitely did not deserve the concern or a friend like phil at all.

he nodded, knowing that if phil didnt actually see dan out of the room to get food or water, hed personally bring the food and drink to dan. dan got up and numbly left the lounge for his room. he left his laptop there, knowing he wouldnt need it the next few days or so.

he collapsed on his bed, his thoughts going on about him being worthless and a disappointment, along with other degrading things. he turned his phone off, setting it on his nightstand. he curled up into a ball and became even more numb to the world. when he fell asleep? dan wouldnt have been able to tell you.

when dan woke up, it felt weird. it felt like what his lucid dreams used to feel like when  hed been a kid. he also didnt feel as he did when he assumed hed fallen asleep, furthuring the feeling of this being weird and unusual. well, those things, and the youtube god himself, pewdiepie, or felix as hed told dan and phil to call him when theyd met up in the past, standing at the end of dans bed.

"felix? why are you in my room?" he was slightly creeped out. he only ever really saw felix at youtube events anymore, and even then, it wasnt much.

"i know who this felix person is, but i am not him. i am the ghost of youtubers past." felix, or rather the ghost, said, the voice was eerily similar to felix' and it creeped dan out further. "recently, youve wished for something along the lines of never being born at all, am i correct to say this?"

"yeah, but hold up, why in bloody hell are you in my -me and phils- flat? howd you even get in?" dan looked confused, he was staying as far as he possibly could be from felix, or the ghost or whatever the fuck it was, which meant he was huddled against the headboard of his bed. "what has my stupid eyelash wish have got to do with any of this?"

"daniel, im here to show you how your friends and family would have really been if you hadnt been born. you see, your thoughts after the wish, about everybody being better off without you, were mostly wrong. your family, that thought, was the only one that was partially correct. yes, if they didnt have you as their son, all of the things that you think they think of you would disappear, but they would have still had two children. your grandma wouldve been just as close with them as she was to you." then suddenly, at the end of the ghosts words, dans room transformed, his fairylights  and comfortable bed morphing into something else. all dan could do was watch.

his surroundings had changed into a huge decorated and lit up christmas tree with wrapped gifts underneath. there were two children, a teenaged girl and a younger boy, perhaps a toddler, pulling at a christmas cracker. when the young boy ended up getting the bigger end of the game, the older sister said "happy christmas!" with fondness that made dans heart ache. the siblings looked close, and happy. happier than dan and his younger brother had been at those ages.  it made dan long for that kind of relationship with the lad. it also brought a bitter taste and thoughts to dan. the girl, for obvious reasons, wasnt dan. their mannerisms very  different, her smile lacking a dimple.

"yazzy, go help your mum in the kitchen." an old woman, that dan immediately recognized as his (or rather not his) grandma, walked in to the room. he hadnt visited the kind, aging woman in years, and seeing this made him feel guilty.

he turned to the ghost, tears forming and wetting his eyes. "can we leave? i already knew i was insignificant in their lives." he said this, his voice small as he looked away from the scene playing out before him. the ghost nodded and then they were in a different location once again.

it was his friend, louises current home. but it was empty, no baby toys or anything in the flat hed gotten used to being busy.

"louises success mightve been all her, but you helped in the process, being there when she needed a friend. she didnt have darcy because she never met her partner." the ghost said this with a grim look. dan looked around, sad eyes gazing everywhere. it was then he realized he hadnt rung up louise in weeks.

"fuck..." was dans whispered response to the situation.

the location faded again, taking them to a park. pj sat on the bench in front of dan and the ghost. he was talking to people that dan didnt recognize. "pj and chris never became a couple because you werent there to help them realize their feelings for each other." dan looked down at the ghosts words. they stung, knowing his friends hadnt gotten together just because dan hadnt been born.

" and chris? what would his fate have been if id never been around?" the ghost pointed at a man walking behind them, talking on the phone. he didnt spare pj a single look.

"without your constant encouragement, he dropped youtube. he got an office job and quickly climbed the ranks." the words sounded sad.

the location changed yet again, to a sight he never wanted to see again. they were in an unfamiliar bedroom, it was dark and there was an even darker silhouette hanging from a ceiling fan. dan feared the worst. the sight of it made dan want to curl into a ball. there was pounding on the closed door.

dan watched in silence, mouth open in a silent cry as the parents of the silhouette opened the door. the mother fell into the fathers arms, crying loudly. the father was frozen, terror shining in his eyes as he took in the sight of the cold and lifeless body. the  room faded into a plain, white room that had no soothing qualities to dan.

"that was ben. in a world with you in it, he would have found the courage to come out as a transmale and gay. without you, he never learned of his parents acceptance. he wouldve committed suicide if not for your videos." the ghost said this softly, its eyes sad. "this is the sad reality of the fans. some are not in good situations and so they turn to youtube for an escape. without your videos, a lot of fans dont have that escape." dans face grew even more sad as he realized that had been the same reality that he had faced before becoming a youtuber.

"and phil? what would have happened to him?" this question had been on his mind the entire time they had been in this weird dreamland. the ghosts already sad face saddened even more and the scenery changed once again.

dan looked confused as his eyes wondered around the area. they were in a graveyard in the middle of the day. except dan couldnt see any services being held that phil wouldve attended.

"where is he? why are we in a graveyard?" his questions were frantic as he continued searching for the wonderous blue-yellow-green eyes and the dyed black hair of his best friend. then his gaze landed on the gravestone of the grave they were in front of. he dropped to his knees, his face blank as he read the stone.

Here lies

Philip Michael Lester

January 30th, 1987-June 22nd, 2012

He was loved dearly by fans, friends, and family.

"phil didnt have a number one fan to skype him to take his mind off his problems, to correct him when he thought of how weird he was and how weird everybody was bound to think of him."

"unique. phil is unique, not weird." dan corrected without hesitation.

"that is what i mean when i say that. he didnt have somebody to do that when youtube comments started telling him he was weird. he didnt have someone to be an iconic duo with. he killed himself when it all got to be too much." the ghost went quiet after telling that to dan, most likely letting the man grieve his best friend.

dan had started sobbing loudly. "n...no no no. take me home, this cant be real, this is not real." he whimpered, his eyes were screwed shut as he sobbed over the possibility of his optimistic, cheery best friend taking his life. he missed the transformation of the landscape, still sobbing loudly by the time hed been back in the comfort of his bedroom.

the ghost was no longer there and there was loud knocking. and to dans relief, phil called out his name with concern that dan was now certain was genuine. phil came in, rushing to the side of the monochrome bed to take the brown haired crying man into his arms. he knew better than to ask what was wrong right away, so he just held him.

"phil, promise me you wont believe people when they say hateful things toward you?" he asked this in a panicked rush, his words stuttered as he looked with terrified eyes at phil.

" i promise." phil held dan close, the sound of his heartbeat tethering dan to reality.

"i had a dream." dan proceeded to tell phil about what hed wished and then about the dream he had afterward. when he was done, phil held him. dan was still crying, but it had subsided a lot with the knowledge of phil being alive. "im sorry, phil. i know i shouldnt have wished for something so morbid and sad, but it was before an episode and i cant control my thoughts during those." he cuddled to phils chest, sniffling.

" dan, you know i love you. you know im always going to be here to support and comfort you." phils voice was soft and supportive, deep unlike what the viewers usually heard. "you dont have to apologize at all for the way your brain works, just like i dont. im glad you realized that that wasnt real, but i dont want you thinking that i wouldve been better off without you because i wouldnt be as far as i am today if i didnt have you by my side. dont ever tell yourself otherwise." he smiled his amazing smile that was saved just for dan.

dan leaned into phils chest, breathing in the comforting scent.   he sighed as he realized that life would be better with him and phil still alive.

____________________

i did end up mentioning dans family, but i only did briefly dont hate me.