#F/8.2

[photoncatcher]

Full Circle

Canon Powershot A470; 1/900; F/8.2; ISO 80; 6mm

21/02/2011

[maeedrg]

Ghostface Gojo x Reader

ᯓ★

Synopsis : In which reader and Gojo desguised as Ghostface play a dangerous game of cat and mouse. Just like in the movies.

Words count : 8.2 k

Warnings : afab reader, smut, pet names, p in v, reader is implied fem once, knife, slight blood, missionary, foreplay, doggy style, creampie, pinning, unprotected sex, oral sex (f receiving), praise and correct me if there should be more warnings.

જ⁀➴ ⠀ׂ Autor’s note : English is not my first language. It’s my first time posting on tumblr ! Hope you like it.

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“What’s your favorite scary movie ?”

Halloween, the day that you celebrated since you were a child. Sometimes, it happened that because of busy missions or other personal problems, you couldn’t celebrate it as you wanted. Nevertheless, this year was your year !

Inside the campus of Jujutsu highschool, songs like Goo Goo Muck were playing loudly in the background, almost making the walls shake the closer they were to the vibrations of the music. Indeed, every year, the campus of Tokyo hosted The Halloween Party. Students, teachers, sorcerers in general, were all happily invited to participate.

Gladly, you accepted. Like the past years. Memories of Highschool come to your mind as you look at some students disguised spookily. You smile : back in the days, you used to do so with Satoru, Suguru, and Shoko. It makes you nostalgic.

Tonight, you dressed up as a broken vintage doll. Pale makeup, dolly eyes, fake broken porcelain on your cheeks and forehead, you followed tutorials on the internet. You were wearing a cute but old and dusty dress. It was sweet, but still had this creepy and uneasy feeling to it. Shoko also played the part, she threw some vampire fangs and added blood on her lips. Nothing much, but hey, at least she participated ! Suguru… of course, it’s been years since you last saw him. Halloween parties had this bitter feeling since he left, even almost 10 years after. And Satoru…

On the contrary, he loved to disguise himself and pull pranks on you, or students. Sadly, he sent you a text this afternoon : the elders threw to his face a last minute mission. And that, exactly at the same time of the party. He wouldn’t be able to attend it. Satoru being your friend (your best friend even), not being by his side this year made you somewhat gloomy. You sulk, bored and annoyed to death by this turn of events. At least this facial expression went well with your outfit. You think…

You continue to talk with some students, smiling as they try to scare you by telling you scary stories while eating candies. You chuckle : it was hard for them to spook you. After all, you were an S grade Sorcerer. How could a silly scary story even make you have goosebumps ? But you still indulged in their shenanigans, thinking it was funny coming from them.

Suddenly, a slow shiver runs down your back. In the end, did their little stories spook you ? You raise an eyebrow to yourself and look around, an eerie feeling in your gut. Your eyes fall on a tall shadow in the corner of the busy room. Someone with a ghostface mask, staring right back at you. You couldn't recognize who it was : after all, many of your fellow coworkers were disguised with masks too. You couldn’t see much, only that they were tall, very tall.

You snap back to your student asking you if you were okay. Well, that was something…

“Hmmm ? Yeah, ‘was just checking around who was at the party,” you answer.

“Is teacher Gojo here ? He never misses Hallowen to pull pranks on us and bring tons of candies !” asks the second student with a smile and a laugh.

You smile at yourself at what the students said. You check your phone : 22h36. You look back at the text that Satoru sent you, sighing as you read it again quickly.

[From Satoru : Hey pookie, sorry can’t be here tonight. Stupid elders sent me out on a mission

Satoru : Keep candies for me, i'll come check on you later in the night, yeah ?]

You look back up at the students.

“Yeah, sorry guys. He is busy on a mission tonight. Let’s hope that next year he will not !” You try to cheer them up, more like you are cheering yourself up.

They continue to talk, meanwhile you look around in a tiny sigh. The ghostface person disappeared from their spot, you frown. Did you imagine things ? You shrug and excuse yourself, going to the snacks table that is closer to the speakers that were sharing the halloween themed music. You actually were in charge of making the playlist, with Satoru. Sadly he is not here to listen to it with you. You plop a candy in your mouth, when all of a sudden you feel a presence behind you. Another student wanting to chat with their favorite teacher ? You wonder.

As you spin around, you are directly met with a wall : more like the torso of someone. You lift your eyes only to see the ghostface of earlier looming over you. Your breath catches in your throat for one second, wondering how he appeared like that out of nowhere.

“Oops, did I scare you ?” they almost purr their sentence, like a mockery.

You squint your eyes. At first, you had no clue who it could be. With the loud music it was almost impossible to distinguish their voice among the ones you know. The person was wearing a tight black shirt, with black jeans. Around their thighs : a long fake knife, like the ones the slashers possessed in the Scream franchise. And of course, the mask. Hiding their identity.

“Just startled me,” you correct.

“Hmm, you sure ? Looks like scared to me, y/n,” they answer, insisting on your name.

For the third time, you frown because of them. Oh, they know you. You felt a bit uncomfortable, unable to really recognize who it was. But you weren’t dumb : your first thought was Satoru, after all who else could be that tall ? But you remember his text, he was out on a mission. 15 minutes ago he even sent you a pic of his face happily smiling at the exploded and defeated curse at his right. Yeah, he finished his missions, but the place he was at is around three hours away from here by car. How could he have reached the campus that fast ?!

Seeing your confusion, they laugh.

“Aw, come on. You wound me here, pookie. Can’t recognize your own friend ?”

Only him could call you that nickname. You tilt your head to the side.

“Satoru… ?”

He slowly lifts his mask, and you are directly met with his striking blue eyes, staring right back at your soul. You don’t know why, but the way he grins at you makes your heart skip a beat.

“Took you long enough.”

“Oh my God, I thought you wouldn’t make it ! What are you doing here ? How come ?” you exclaim, surprised.

He takes one step closer, still holding the mask up his face with his hand.

“Do you even know me ? Nothing is impossible for me. How could I let these old geezers ruin my fun ? You know I love Halloween. The perfect day to pull pranks on my students and favorite person. Couldn’t miss it.”

You roll your eyes and smile at him, relieved to see his familiar face. Now, you were content. Having him by your side was all you needed to have your perfect Halloween. At the same time, Satoru eyes you down as he takes some candies from the snack table and throws them into his mouth.

“I like your costume. A vintage broken doll ? Cute. It suits you. But not scary.”

You smile at his grin, and look down at your outfit as you touch the tissue of the dusty dress.

“Thanks, could say the same for you. Ghostface ? I'm not scared either.”

He chuckles and he narrows his eyes. He licks his lips as he hums. Satoru slides his white locks backwards while he puts back the mask, hiding his wolfish smile at your statement. You felt like he took it as a challenge.

“Oh yeah ? Why not ? He is a slasher, though. Shouldn’t you be scared, y/n ?”

You tilt your head on the side, and then shake it after you analyze his lean figure for the split of a second under his burning gaze. Even with his mask on, you could feel it.

“Easy answer : I'm in the middle of a crowded place full of other fellow sorcerers. If there was an actual slasher, I would say that I'm safe… for now. Not to brag too, but I don't think as an S grade sorcerer it’s a mere murderer that will scare me. I fought way worse,” you explain as a matter of fact.

After all, you were right. You saw things and went into battles against way scarier curses and sorcerers. It’s not some guy with a knife that would defeat you. Satoru, on the other hand, just stands still before laughing at your words.

“I could agree with you, pookie, only if it wasn’t me, the slasher. I don't think you would even stand a chance,” he answers quite confidently. That made you annoyed, but he was mostly right. You knew it. Yet, you had pride, and you couldn’t just let him say these things about you.

“Are you sure of yourself, Satoru ? If it was the case, I wouldn't let myself be an easy victim. Even against you”

“Oh but yes, yes you would be an easy target for me, y/n,” he purrs your name in this arrogant way that makes your skin crawl.

You bite the inside of your cheek, sighing by your nose as you narrow your eyes while glaring at him. You were sure he was grinning like a damn idiot. Always.

“What makes you even think that ?”

“Well, I don’t deny that you are strong, because you are strong. But, even if we take off cursed energy, I think I'll still overpower you in a physical fight.”

That pissed you off. Satoru was the only person that could tell you that, and the only person you would agree with. Even if you were way stronger in physical fight against tons of other sorcerers (you took pride in this skill you built), you knew damn well that Satoru was part of the very few people that could hold your ground. More like winning easily. That was annoying to admit, but in front of Gojo Satoru, it was hard to be better than him in anything considering fights.

“Maybe, yeah. You are not The Strongest for nothing, Satoru. But I’m still confident in my skills. I wouldn’t let you win that easily,” you retort as you cross your arms on your chest.

He steps closer to you, closing the distance as the music continues to play in the background with all the chatting and laughing from the crowd.

“Hmm, I would still win. But hey, if that makes you happy, I’ll toy around with you, letting you think you got the upper hand for a bit. But in the end..,” he starts to say as he leans towards you and then speaks in your ear in his arrogant tone, “I’ll have you dance in the palm of my hand until the final blow. Yeah ?”

You shiver at his last sentence. You were used to Satoru being blunt in general, even more when talking about cursed energy and fighting skills. Sometimes, it could even be seen as mean, but you were used to it. He never meant it like that. For him, he was just telling the truth. Yet, this time it felt different. As if he was saying these things on purpose. He then taps gently, like you were a child, your head.

“Don’t look at me like that, doll, ‘m just telling the reality of things,” he feigns innocence as he uses this new nickname. Logical, with your costume.

“Right, I'm the helpless victim,” you say sarcastically.

“You are.” He hums before he suddenly grabs your arm and makes you follow him quickly out of the crowded room. At each step in the corridor, the music becomes less and less loud, along with the light. The hallway of the school was only illuminated by the moonlight outside, giving an eerie atmosphere.

“What are you doing ? Don't tell me you took your ghostface role at heart and now you wanna stab me in a dark corner ?” you ask confused with a nervous chuckle. Nervous ? Why were you even nervous ? It was Satoru, after all. Your best friend for years now. Not some random stranger.

He stops and lets your arm go as you both are standing in this gloomy dark corridor. The windows at your left were letting some light caress your skin, and the tall figure of Satoru. His mask even shines with the reflection of the moon.

“Don’t be stupid, doll. I just wanted to be alone with you. The loud music and all these people made me have a starting headache.” He explains himself as he takes off his mask and lets it rest on the side of his head. His blue orbs gaze at you, up and down.

You smile softly. You knew how overwhelming things could get for Satoru. With his Six eyes, he would have quickly a tsunami of informations. It’s for that he always had his blindfold on. Many times, during your friendship through the years, you ended up massaging his head to ease and smooth the throbbing pain of his headache when things got too overwhelming for him. So, you directly believed his words.

“Or maybe I just wanted to kill you secretly…,” he continues, not letting you have the time to answer.

You scoff as you roll your eyes and nudge him. As you do so, you touch his skin : he didn’t have his infinity on.

“Yeah, of course. Or maybe to pull one of your pranks or silly jokes on me.”

“Maybe I would, only if… you are scared,” he whispers his last words as he gets closer and winks at you, playfully.

“I’m not scared,” you answer, laughing. At the same time, he disappears and teleports somewhere else, leaving you alone in the darkness of the place. You directly stop your laugh.

“Are you ?” he says from behind you. You jump slightly at his presence in your back, and you lift your head up only to see white and black. Satoru was wearing the ghostface mask again.

“Fuck- no. I'm sure.”

A low ramble makes his chest vibrate. He scoffs and then slowly, in a step by step way, walks in circles around you. You need to turn your head and eyes to follow his movements.

“You look… tense, y/n. Seems like you are lying to me, am I right ?” he says in a less lighthearted tone. The atmosphere started to change, and you just told yourself that it was one of his halloween pranks. Surely.

“I was just surprised, nothing more, nothing less.”

Satoru hums, and then swiftly slides the knife out of the thigh pocket he was wearing. He toys with it, the glim of the moon reflecting on the metal. It looked almost real, but you knew better.

“So, you are not scared. I see.” He continues to circle you, slowly coming closer, sometimes slightly touching your skin or clothes with his own body.

“Why would I be ?” You retort.

“Sweet y/n. I thought you were smarter. Didn’t you watch the Scream movies ? You should know better than being here, all alone, with no one around that could hear your cries or come save you, when you are stuck with the murderer. You are the victim here.”

“Satoru, I’m not the helpless victim.”

“Awww. Wanna bet ? It would be.. fun.” He stops right in front of you, still playing with the knife, twirling it around easily like a pro. You swallow your saliva, feeling goosebumps on your arms. When did the corridor suddenly become so cold ?

“You don’t wanna play that game.”

“Your reversed psychology trick will not work on me, y/n. You are the one that is scared to play that game. Scared to lose. Because you know that I will win.”

You could swear you saw the blue shine of his eyes through the black orbs of the mask. You bite your lower lip, adrenaline slowly heating up your body, with a mix of… challenge. You look at the metal of the weapon, then slowly back at him. Satoru knew exactly what buttons to push to make you speak, to indulge you into something. Just like him, it was pride. With the years, he learnt how to make you dance in the palm of his hand when he wanted something from you. Of course, he never used it badly. He truly and genuinely cared about you, and would never intentionally hurt you. But right now, it feels bad. Bad, yes, but strangely in an exciting way. You lick your teeth as you sigh.

“Don’t think I'll let you win like that.”

“Of course I know you wouldn’t. You like to give me a challenge. You are one of the very few people that can in this world, isn’t it right, doll ?”

Even if you weren’t as strong as Satoru, the fact that you could understand his condition as the strongest bonded you both more than you could ever imagine. He was obviously referring to that. After Suguru deflected, you were the only one to be able to keep up with him no matter how hard it got. You both kept each other on your toes : in skills, battles, relationships, and life in general. His words went right through you.

“It is, Satoru.”

“Good, good. Then how about I'll be nice for starters, and let my sweet hopeless victim some time to run away from me ? Not like it would really help you, but I like to give you hope.”

He was toying with you like a cat would do with a mouse. He didn’t mean it in a mean way, but in a provocative way.

“Im ready.” You decide to accept the challenge, stepping back. He smiles, a big smile behind his mask. Not like you could see it. He steps back himself and bites his lower lip out of excitement.

“I’ll give you 30 seconds. One, two…”

You nod, and without thinking you spin around and run as fast as you could in the corridor. Of course, this little game wasn't about a real fight. If you both indulged in such things, the campus would be long gone and destroyed to dust. It was a chase, a game of hunting. Who would break first. If you will be able to be fast enough to escape this new fate of yours. He wanted you to be the victim ? Then you will play so. Actually, it was funnier than you thought.

You were in a rush of adrenaline as you turned in the maze of corridors of the empty school. After studying here for years, and being a teacher, you knew the campus like the back of your hand. But, Satoru too. And escaping from his Six eyes was nearly impossible. Yet, you took the challenge.

As you continue to run, thinking where to hide (if possible a place where you have enough free room to escape if he finds you), your phone vibrates. You check it up and see that it’s a hidden number. It doesn't take long for you to know that it’s Satoru. You decide to indulge him and answer the phone, whispering in case he would hear you in the corridor and locate you :

“I think you have the wrong number.”

“Do I ?” his voice resonates through the line.

“It happens. Take it easy,” you answer, exactly the same lines as in the movie, and then hang up. You enter the library : with all the shelves full of books, it would be easier to slide in between them to hide and escape.

Your phone vibrates again. It’s the hidden number.

“Do you like scary movies ?” Suddenly asks Satoru.

“Uh-huh,” you answer as you roam through the library carefully, trying to sense any presence. You were alone.

“What's your favorite scary movie ?” Satoru asks with a more flirty voice. You smile at that.

“I don't know.” Of course you know. But, you wanted to act like the character in the movie, to follow the script. It was all just a game… right ?

“You have to have a favorite,” continued Satoru, you could hear his soft breath through the line. He was walking calmly.

“Uh...Halloween. You know, the one with the guy with the white mask who just sorta walks around and stalks the baby sitters. What's yours ?”

“Guess.”

“Uh...NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET,” you half whisper half scream, giggling slightly at yourself for remembering so well the lines of the movie. Maybe you watched it way too many times at night to spook yourself. Alone, or with your friends. You even did once with Satoru, Suguru and Shoko back in the highschool days.

“Is that the one where the guy had knives for fingers ?” Satoru fake asks, still walking so so calmly, and slowly. You could hear it by the way his steps sounded at the other side of the line. You didn't know where he was, so you carefully checked around the library. Still no one. Just in case, you change your hiding spot.

“Yeah...Freddy Krueger.”

“Freddy-that's right. I liked that movie. It was scary.”

“The first one was, but the rest sucked.”

Satoru makes a pause, before you hear his voice again. You feel your heart beating faster and your anxiety growing. Yet, this feeling felt… weirdly good.

“So, you got a boyfriend ?”

Even if he was just replicating the lines of the movie, the way he said it and these particular words made you flustered. You didn’t know why. Or maybe you just didn't want to know why you did. You always thought it was better like that in between Satoru and you. Yet, it felt like you both were crossing a line that no one dared to really cross this past years.

“Why ? You wanna ask me out on a date ?

“Maybe. Do you have a boyfriend ?” he asks again, this time more seriously.

“No.” You swallow your saliva. You were hiding behind a shelf, one that let you see the door and if someone was entering the place. Another silence before Satoru continues :

“You never told me your name.” You knew where this was going, making your blood pressure escalate.

“Why do you want to know my name ?” You didn't even realize, but your voice was shakier now. Fuck, really ? You curse internally.

“Because I want to know who I'm looking at.” You wanted to know if he was really watching you without you knowing, or if Satoru was just saying the line of the movie and nothing more. Chills and goosebumps, again. You felt like it was the first option. Yet, you couldn’t see him. You were alone in the library… you thought.

You rarely saw Satoru get excited in battles. Usually, it was boring for him. But God, the very few times you saw that unhinged expression on his face when he had fun fighting : you got the chills, happy to not be on the receiving hand of his madness. But now, you were the target. And heavens, it was probably scarier than any curse you ever fought.

“Don’t hang up on me”. His voice resonates again through the phone. You frown, you didn't hear his voice in the library. So the question was : was he really watching you ? You felt watched, stalked even. Maybe you were just getting paranoid.

“Gotta go”. You hang up the phone nonetheless. Shit, you were stressed as fuck now. You take a deep breath to both calm yourself, and to be sure you made no noise. You squint your eyes in the darkness, but there was still no cursed energy around you or any malicious presence.

It’s as if this game with Satoru wasn’t a game anymore. But a real hunt. The phone rings again, you almost jump of surprise. You really were getting on your own nerves.

“I told you not to hang up on me,” drawls Satoru, a hint of dangerous playfulness in his voice. He wasn’t joking anymore.

“What do you want, Satoru ?”

“Nuh-uh, doll. You gotta play the game and not know my name. Where is the fun then ? Try again…” This asshole was toying with you. You sigh through your nose, now sitting against the shelf on the cold floor. You play with the hem of your dress to distract yourself.

“What do you want ?” you repeat again, like in the movie.

“To talk.”

“Dial someone else, okay ?”

“You getting scared ?” he taunts you sweetly.

“No- bored.”

Normally, the character of the movie hangs up the phone after this line. You didn’t. Because you knew what happened once she did : he would call her again, this time angry, and threatening. You didn't want to get to that part, because it felt way too real now. You check again around you in case there was someone. Nobody. Yet, you still heard Satoru walk on the other side of the line, soft steps on the ground. Was he walking in circles ?

“Aren’t you gonna ask me what I really want, hmm ?” he asks again, waiting for you to dance more in the palm of his hand and fall in his trap. But what trap ? Maybe there was no trap. He was just playing around, to spook you. Satoru always loved pulling pranks on Halloween, after all.

You started to grow impatient. Minutes went on, you still didn't see one hair of Satoru. Maybe if you ended the lines of the movie, he would finally show up. Once he would, you could put an end to this game and go back to the main party.

“What do you want ?” you end up asking again, this time standing up from your spot. He laughs, and then he stops walking.

“I could answer “TO SEE WHAT YOUR INSIDES LOOK LIKE !”. But, y/n, you know that it’s not what I’m really looking for, right ?”

You don’t answer, letting him continue.

“I think you know the answer.”

“I don’t.” You think you don’t.

“Well… it’s you.” He hangs up.

You breathe faster, and you slowly put down your phone in your dress pocket. He wasn’t here, you were sure of it. Yet…. You shake your head, on guard, and step back slowly to have a better look at your surroundings. The fifth step, your back hurts something- no, someone. Your reflex was fast and sharp, but not as fast as him. The knife, a long sharp knife that was nothing fake but damn real, was on your throat. Your breath stops for a second.

“Caught you.”

You swiftly try to turn around and kick him, but you almost forgot who you were fighting against. He turns you around as he grabs your arm and brutally pins you against the shelf. Your arm was now behind your back, his hand firmly squeezing your wrist to leave you no room. Your torso and face were pressed against the books in front of you. You groan. It was impossible to move, you even felt his infinity press you harder against the cold wood of the shelf. Not to add the sharp knife grazing your throat.

“Come on, you know you can’t do anything, y/n. You are the hopeless victim, I told you so. Yet you didn't believe me… look where it brings you.”

“You fucking asshole.” You grit in between your teeth. Your pride took a tool, and you were pissed. It made you insult your own best friend.

“Aw, so mean. I’m not.” He taps his finger on your wrist, getting closer to your ear.

“You are ! This is a real knife, I thought it was a fake one. You lied to me.”

“Lie ? I never lied, because I never told you it was fake.”

“It’s a real knife, Satoru. And in your hands, it’s a very dangerous tool.” You breathe out as he chuckles. At the corner of your eyes you could perceive his ghostface mask.

“And ? It’s your problem, not mine, doll.” He turns off his infinity, now you could feel his torso against your back.

“Fuck you !”

“Oh, but we will,” he jokes, maybe. You don’t think it’s a joke.

“What do you really want, Satoru ? This is not funny anymore,” you say again, annoyed as you make a second attempt to move away, but he firmly keeps you straight up.

You could use your cursed energy to escape. It might work. But you didn't want to destroy the library. So you suck it up. He toys again with the knife against your throat, never really touching harshly your skin : just soft caresses to taunt you.

“Who said it would be funny for you ? It is for me, though. And I already answered, y/n. What I want... is you.” He smacks his tongue in his mouth, doing a small noise of slight annoyance at your cluelessness.

You frown. You ? In what way did he mean that ? Was it again one of his jokes ? Satoru liked to sometimes flirt with you, using his charms in a fake arrogant way. It was all part of the dynamic of your friendship. Yet here, it had this double meaning that you couldn’t ignore. You started to sweat.

“What-” You don’t have the time to finish your question when suddenly Satoru loosens his grip on your wrists and lets you go. You stumble forwards but stabilize yourself quickly in front of this new liberty and turn around, stepping back dizzily from all the adrenaline.

“Run.” He simply says.

“Satoru, I’m not playing that game anymore-”

He takes one step closer, playing with the knife dangerously. The moonlight slightly shines on his figure, a dark contrast with the rest of the library.

“Y/n, come on. You know you need to escape. Or else…” He shakes his head.

Your gut and instinct scream to you that you need to get out. Your body, without any more seconds, works again and makes you run. You dash towards the door, but Satoru suddenly teleports in front of it. You curse to yourself and decide to escape into the maze of the shelves of the library. He laughs at your attempt.

“You can run, but you can’t hide,” he hums, licking his lips.

Your heart is hammering, fast, loudly. You feel dizzy from fear, and utter stress. A pool of heat travels your body to your legs. You slide in the shelves, and Satoru keeps appearing and disappearing behind them. You breathe heavily, big inspirations rhythming your respiration. He was just having fun, finally having a fight that made him excited. But it wasn't a fight : it was a damn hunt ! Your own hunt.

He suddenly appears in front of you.

“Boo !”

In front of your look of horror, he explodes of laughter, and suddenly rushes towards you. He was so fast you just had one second to dash on the other side of the library. Again, like a kid with his toy, he catches you with such easiness and pushes you against a table, making some books scatter on the floor. You let out a gasp of surprise.

“You scared ?” he whispers while leaning towards you.

Your eyes were wide open, and, yes. Yes, you were scared. Yet it was strange. A dangerous one, in between knowing Satoru for years, that he would never really hurt you. And in between the fact that you never could really know. It was exciting. Endearing, even. Both of you had horrible fun in this game, but you weren't ready to admit it.

“Don’t look at me with those eyes…” He continues as he keeps you restrained against the table, before taking off his mask and throwing it on the side. His hair was messy, some sweat from the warmth of the mask on his forehead, and then his eyes... God, his eyes ! You never saw them in that electric shade of blue before. You knew that his Six eyes were analyzing every inch of your skin, of your reaction, of your beating heart and heavy breath. His smirk was wild, big, unhinged.

“What eyes ?” you finally answer, biting your lower lip to control your nervousness.

“As if you wanted something bad, but you don’t have the guts to ask.” Satoru licks his lips, eyes roaming up and down your body before landing back on your face. He then grabs his knife and uses it to tilt your chin towards him. You swallow hard.

“Something bad ? Yet you are the one that said you wanted me. Don’t reverse the situation, Satoru,” you snap back, narrowing your eyes and smirking slightly.

His eyes widen, but then he smiles. He stabs the knife on the table, right next to you. He thought that it was alright, he had enough money to buy the campus a new one. In an instant, he flips you over and bends you on the table, grabbing your throat and forcing your back against his torso.

“I love playing with you, y/n. You really are the only one that can get me excited. I have to give you that.”

“You are quite eccentric, Satoru. You get easily bored, it’s hard to keep up with you.”

“And you never failed me, never. ‘M kinda proud, y’know ?” he chuckles in your ear, tapping his finger against your throat as his minty breath caresses the skin of your neck.

“Well, you are welcome,” you answer through your teeth, trying to keep down your heavy exhales. This situation was making you crazy. Were you thinking straight ? Was he too ?

“Chasing you down is an amazing feeling. We gotta do that again, right ?” he purrs as he gently kisses your neck. “Sweet”, he whispers at the taste of your skin. The heat in your body increases.

“Again ? This chase wore me out.”

“Do you ? Yet it’s still not done… I’m not finished with you.” He turns your head, so you can look at him.

Now you understand why the enemies of Satoru, curses or sorcerers, begged him for mercy.

“Still not ?”

“Nuh-uh.” He smiles, and then looks down at the way you were biting your lips earlier. You didn't even realize that it was bleeding. His pupils blow out, and then without any warning, he presses his lips to yours, tasting the metallic taste on his tongue. You couldn’t register what happened that he already slightly backed away.

“You have to be careful, doll. The hopeless victim shouldn’t hurt themself. Only the murderer can. That’s the rule.”

You didn’t want him to have the upper hand on the situation, not like that. You take the opportunity that his infinity is turned off to swiftly free one of your hands, and then grab his collar before smashing your lips against his in a heated kiss. You did it, after years of subtle flirting, dangerous closeness and ambiguity, you crossed the line. At first, he looks happily surprised by your move. But he quickly puts his palms on your cheeks and deepens the kisses, turning you around to face him. He hums of approval against your mouth, moving his lips with desperation for more. With need, you part your lips to let his tongue enter your mouth.

The heated make out makes you both lost in the moment. His left hand caresses your body, at first safely, then dangerously more intimately. You do the same, grabbing his white locks that you always dreamed of touching like that. His skin was so smooth, and warm. Warm like what was happening in between your legs.

He presses himself against your hips, his cold fingers sliding under your dress and hinching on your burning thighs. He lets out a rumble that is captured by your lips. For a second, he stops the kiss to softly lick your neck while playing with the helm of your panties. His eyes meet yours, asking for approval as you moan at his teasing.

“You good with that ?”

You could just breathe out a poor “yeah”, way too caught up in the need and want of his fingers on you. He grins, biting his lower lip as he uses his thumbs to press on the wet patch of your underwear. You let out a burning exhale, and with his other hand he unbuttons the top of your dress, letting out your breast to the fresh air of the night. In the moment, you felt no shame about your body, no matter your insecurities, no embarrassant, nothing of that. Just : desire, need, love and insatiable passion.

“That’s my girl.” His voice vibrates against your breast as he softly kisses it and licks it, sucking on your nipple while maintaining eye contact. Each time you looked away, he would stop his thumb from moving on your panties, just to force you to stare right back at him for him to continue.

It was torture, teasing you like that through your cloth, not letting you have the relief you ached for. In a tortured whimper of need and despair, you call his name. You were angry at the way he was taunting you.

“So impatient…” He muses, and immediately takes off your panties in a swift motion. All at once, he makes you lay on the table and gets in between your thighs ; grabbing them strongly and parting them. Your dress rides up, letting your flesh exposed to his hungry eyes. You just have the time to lift yourself on your elbow to try to look at what was happening, that Satoru went straight down and kissed your throbbing clit.

You let your head fall, scoffing a moan of relief. But you had no time to breathe. The man was starved. He was hungry, and you just gave him the tastiest dessert of all. You always knew that Satoru had a sweet tooth, but never thought that one day his unsuitable need for sweets would be about you.

“This is where you’re weak, right ?” he says, his voice rumbling against you before he digs in between your thighs.

He licks all the way from your hole to your bundle of nerves, and sucks it till you squirm, before licking it as if it was his last meal. The expression “eating you out” made all its sense with Satoru. Every drop of your juice : he drank it. He latched on your folds, tortured your poor sweet clit, and slowly ravished your hole with his long and slender fingers. At this point, you just were a moaning mess, but a oh so captivating moaning mess. You were seeing stars the moment he used his infinity to make it buzzle like a toy on your cunt.

He continues to force you to keep eye contact. He couldn’t miss one second of your delectable facial expression, the way your lips parted, how your eyes got hazier, your voice cracking… It was torture, but such a fucking good torture.

The moment you reach your high, legs shaking and an explosion in your lower stomach, you dig your nails in his broad shoulders. He chuckles, riding your orgasm as he continues to softly lick you. Only after some seconds, he stops, kissing now your inner thighs like a praise for doing so well. You tried to catch your breath, you never felt something so strong before. Satoru rises on his feet and looms over you, kissing your lips to make you taste yourself. You feel him grinning against your mouth, mind still on cloud nine.

“Now sweetheart, run.” He suddenly says, stepping back to let you have the room to do so.

You looked at him confused, not understanding what he meant as you were still panting heavily.

“Y/n, I told you to run. I’m letting you escape.” He continues, this time taking off the knife from the table and twirling it around menacingly.

You didn't get what was happening, but you decided to follow what he said. Danger screaming you it was time. Your mind was still hazy, so you tried to stand up from the table, your dress falling back on your thighs, yet your legs were incredibly shaky.

You do some weird steps to run away, one, two, three, and fou- your escape is cut short as he grabs you back and yanks you this time on the small couch of the library. The one that normally students used to sit on to read some books. You were now laying on it, Satoru stradling you dangerously. You don’t know how, but he was wearing back the ghostface mask.

“Sorry sweetheart, just wanted to play with you.”

He takes off his shirt in one go, chuckling as he presses his painfully hard erection against you while he opens your legs, humming at the nasty sight.

“Satoru, you damn asshole ! Stop playing with me…” you struggle to say, panting.

He bucks his hips against yours, taking off your dress to admire your soft skin and how your body looked under his.

“Yet you love it. Right ?”

You just glare at him. You didn’t have to answer, he knew your response. It was obviously yes. He smiles to himself before grinding his clothed cock against your wet pussy.

“Yeah, you do…” he whispers to himself before sliding up his mask slightly to be able to kiss you, swallowing your answer as he unbuckles his belt and zips down his pants.

“Are you okay with no condom ?” You ask in between kisses.

“I don’t have one, but I'm clean, no worries, pookie.”

You laugh at how unsexy he just called you.

“I’m too.”

“What a perfect duo we are.” He coos, deepening the kiss.

He bites your lower lip, showing you to let him have access to your sweet tongue. The moment you do, you feel his hard dick finally grinding on your flesh, skin to skin. The mix of his precum and your juices makes it drip down your ass. He continues to tease you like that, making you beg for more, until he finally complies and softly enters you. At first, it’s sweet, inch by inch, making sure you are comfortable enough. He breathes out your name, moaning a curse at how good and tight you felt. If he could, he would stay inside forever.

“Fuck, I could die inside that pussy.” You moan at his words, you thought the same in the heat of the moment.

Once you showed that your body was now used to it, he grins and puts back his mask, suddenly grabbing your waist and then slamming his hips against yours. You choke, almost, and arch your back as he directly hits your sweet spot. He ravishes with no mercy your gummy walls. Each thrust goes deeper and harder, sometimes changing the path to make your head spin. He presses you down, parting even more your legs to leave him enough free room to handle you as he pleases.

“You doing so good for me- yeah ? I did well to- fuck, to buy the fucking ghost face mask on last minute.” He grits in between his teeth, his respiration growing heavier. You were panting too.

“Couldn’t have found anything better.” You mutter in between choked moans at his hard thrusts. You truly were going crazy of pleasure, your walls twitching around his cock. He chuckles a “yeah” and sucks his lip in between his canines, trying to suppress his own sounds to not be too loud.

He flips you around, lifting your ass and putting your face against the couch. He slaps, once, twice your left cheek. It was already red from the strength of his hand. He digs his fingers in your hips, slamming harder your cunt to fuck you to oblivion. It would for sure leave bruises at this rate. You couldn’t even have coherent thoughts, Satoru was just fucking you stupid. Dicking you down so good you could be in Heaven.

At the same time, Saroru hears a student passing by the corridor to return back to his dorm. He directly lifts your torso up and slams his hand against your mouth to prevent you from making any noise. Your moans get muffled now, as your sticky back is glued to his skin.

“Shh y/n, wouldn’t want you to alert anybody. Try to keep it down, yeah sweetie ?”

You didn't even understand what he was implying. You were far too gone into pleasure to realize that someone was passing outside the library. You just nod, like a dumb puppet. Satoru slides off his mask and bites hard on your shoulder, trying to calm his sounds of pleasure. His strong arms encircle you ; one around your waist, the other grabbing your breast and playing with the nipple. Your eyes almost rolled down your skull the moment he was bullying your G spot. You bite on his hand, contracting all your muscles to try to not let loose completely.

The moment the hallway is free of anybody, Satoru finally lets his hand go out of your mouth and he kisses your cheek.

“Bravo, y/n. Should I reward you ?” he whispers in your ear, panting.

You simply nod, nothing more nothing less. He grins at how far lost you were. He was jealous, Satoru was still trying to keep control of the situation for your own sake. But once he would let you cum, he was thinking of how he would just finally let it go and pound you until he ascended heavens. He wasn’t the honored one for nothing, after all. He smirks to himself as he then slides his thumb in between your folds and comes to play with your overstimulated clit while he destroys your insides with his dick.

The moment you become so lost in the pleasure that you dig your nails on his arms, he inhales your scent as he slams his cock right where you wanted him to, and accelerates his path. It was too much for you, you cum finally, hardly, whole body a shaking mess. You even feel hot tears trailing down your burning cheeks, smudging your makeup.

Yet, Satoru doesn’t stop. He finally lets go : something hard to do when being The Strongest. This time, he ravishes you with no more thoughts, finally chasing down his own orgasm. He turns you around and supports you against him, lifting you up. To not fall, he grabs your ass, and you circle his waist with your legs. You hold onto him, while he is too busy slamming again and again and all over again his cock in your dripping cunt.

“Fuck- can I come inside ? Please, can I-” he asks with a shaky voice, clearly out of himself. You try to think straight, remembering that you were using birth control, so you simply nod and whimper a poor yes.

The moment you accept, Satoru clearly loses control. The following seconds, as he continued to chase down his orgasms, he suddenly threw his head back and cums. Thick white loads of cum splashes inside your walls, and he whispers your name like a prayer that would open the gates of the Garden of Eden. He muffles his own moans by kissing you senseless.

Satoru sits back down on a loud thud on the couch, you still on him. You fall on his lap, both of you trying to catch back your breath. Everything was blurry around you, aside from the blue orbs of Satoru staring right back at your face while you were basking in the afterglow of sex. He smiles and kisses your forehead so so softly. You butterfly open your eyelids, smiling back at him.

“round 2 ?” he asks cheekily with a hoarse voice.

You roll your eyes, nudging him.

“What the fuck- Satoru, already ? We are in the school library,” you half complain, resting your head on his neck. He chuckles, playing with the skin of your back.

“I can teleport us in an empty dorm. ‘M not tired, I want more.”

“Seriously ?”

“This pussy got me on a chokehold, baby.”

You end up laughing at his words, he smirks at that. You sigh and lift back your head.

“Alright, round 2.”

“And round 3, then 4, then 5…”

“Hold down your dick, Satoru.”

After again some playful banter, you find yourself ready for an endless night with Satoru inside an unused dorm of the campus. He of course took back the knife, wanting to keep it for good use later, then your dress, panties, and his shirt. Erasing any clue that could show that you both ended up there.

Yet, on purpose or on accident, on the cold floor of the library remains the ghost face mask laying down. The waking sun shines on the white of the mask, proving that indeed someone was here during this Halloween night.

If every Halloween ended up like that : getting tracked down by your best friend disguised as an horror movie character, then getting fucked senseless till the end of the night… Well, you would gladly do it all over again every year.

***

“What’s your favorite scary movie ?”

“Shut up Satoru, it’s 7 am. Let me fucking sleep.”

“Sorry, sorry, geez. Good night.”

THE END

｡⋆˚⋆✩₊⋆˚｡⋆♡⋆｡⋆ ˚｡⋆⊹⋆ ˚⋆｡⋆✧⋆˚｡⋆⋆ ｡⋆˚⋆✩₊⋆˚｡⋆♡⋆｡⋆ ˚｡⋆⊹⋆

[cpericardium]

Compilation of Megafire's Wildbow Essays (Imported)

I haven't read all of them myself, but the few I did were always worthwhile and interesting, so I thought I'd index them here for anyone who hasn't heard of them or checked them out. As I recall, these were written by Megafire as the chapters were coming out.

CHARACTERIZATION OF CAROL IN WARD

REDDIT INDEX

Chapter 3.6 

The Warden's HQ, or, Playing With Time

Chapter 4.6 

Natalie, or, Working Through Proxies

Chapter 5.9 

Power Dynamics, or, Why Carol Love(s/d) Mark

Chapter 6.3 

Trust, Safety and Control, or, General Opinion

Chapter 7.4 

A Glimmer of Hope, or, Victoria and Carol have an Actual Conversation!?

Chapter 8.2 

Meeting the Parents, or, Never mind, Carol is Back to Being Carol

Chapter 8.9 

Baby Steps, or, Carol Manages to Respect Boundaries for Once

Chapter 9.12-9.13 

Bonus Damsel Interlude, or, This Will Pay Off Later, I Promise

Chapter 10.1 

The Diner, or, I Yell a Lot

Chapter 10.y 

Bonus Chris Interlude, or, This Has Nothing to Do With Carol, I Just Really Like This One

Chapter 12.1 

Ruminating on New Wave, or, Why Mark Loves Carol

Chapter 12.2 

Carol vs Damsel, or, I Told You It'd Pay Off

Chapter 12.f 

Ryan and Cradle, or, What It Means to be Good, and, Competing Access Needs, or, Why the Dream Room is the Worst

Chapter 12.9 

The Bubble, or, Making You Feel Even Worse About Carol Getting Hurt

Chapter 14.5 

The Greenhouse, or, Carol Brought Low

Chapter 14.6 (Sort of) 

Drawing Similarities, or, What's Left for Carol

Chapter 14.7 

Chris' Crossroads, or, Screw It, I Guess I'm Talking About Chris Too Now

Chapters 14.9 + 14.10 

Her Mother's Daughter, or, What Amy Learned From Carol

Chapter 14.12 

Piecing Together Chris, or, What Do Monsters Mean?

Chapter 15.7 

Slaves to Fate, or, Predictions and Responsibility

Also Chapter 15.7 

Ultimate Agency, or, Who Is Contessa?

Chapter 16.4 

Mockeries and Funhouse Mirrors, or, Paths Not Taken

Chapter 16.y 

Attempted Therapy, or, Amy Is Not Doing Well

Chapter 17.1 

Family Issues, or, Confrontations Vis-a-Vis Parentage

Chapter 19.1 

The Curious Case of Sarah Pelham, or, A Basic Overview of the Shit That Happened to Sarah

Chapter 19.9-19.10 

The Talk, or, How To Screw Up Your Kids In One Easy Conversation

Chapter 20.e6 

Carol: Final, or, What Has Carol Learned? (Hint: Not Much)

---

PALE ANALYSIS

REDDIT INDEX

Verona and her Dad, a Transactional analysis

Why Verona's Dad is a Literal Manchild - mostly about Out on a Limb 3.1, but with references to 3.4

Adults, Parents and Children

Lucy is Verona's Only Good Parental Figure (and That's Kind Of Sad) - Leaving a Mark 4.2

Pale: Justice

The Cast Of Law And Order: Kennet - Cutting Class 6.z

Practitioner Supremacy

Boy There Are Some Real World Parallels Here - Gone Ahead 7.1

Practitioner Parenting

Regular Old Bad Parenting - Vanishing Points 8.4

Abuse

Brett is an Absolute Bastard - Shaking Hands 9.9

Avery's Games and Gimmicks

Breaking Patterns Is Hard - Dash to Pieces 11.10

Transgressive Acts

Why the Mussers are like the Spartans - Break 5

Practitioners and Others, a Binary

The Binary is a Lie! - Gone and Done It 17.x

Judging the Judiciary

What About the Judges? - Crossed With Silver 19.z

Hostile Environment

Power Plays for the Future - In Absentia 21.12

[chiriwritesstuff]

The Girl in IT- 8. The Panic! in the Breakroom (Christine's Version)

A Boss! Joel Miller x IT Specialist F! Reader AU

The LIST │ Series Masterlist

Chapter Rating: M

Chapter Summary: Joel and Sugar spend some time apart and have serious conversations about their relationship's future. Everything is about to change...

Chapter Warnings and Tags: No outbreak AU, Boss x Employee Relationship, Sugar Daddy Lite, Reckless Driving, Talks about Periods and Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) and all of the shitty things that could happen with it including blood loss, miscarriage, and painful pregnancies, Someone gets punched (it's Joel, he gets socked in the face), Sugar takes a backseat as chaos ensues, Badass Ellie Miller, Ellie is going through it, Joel is going through it, Sugar's going through it!, Badass Survivalist Bill to the rescue, There is no smut in this chapter (like at all), no beta we die like men!

Word Count: 8.2 K

A/N: Here it is, the first chapter of my big rework, as I mentioned in this post. If you've read the original posting of this chapter, you know it ended with a surprise pregnancy and a proposal. As much as I know many of you enjoyed that outcome, it was also a departure from my true intentions for Sugar and Joel's relationship timeline, which set off a chain reaction for this story. I was afraid of alienating my readers- I thought by avoiding a darker or more heartbreaking storyline, I wouldn't upset anyone and felt like giving a happy ending to this chapter was the right move. Upon reflection, I started to regret it. Trying to censor myself out of fear of losing readers and not staying true to myself is not the way to go, and I've learned from this lesson.

There is a massive plot change in this chapter. Most of the story is the same, but I have included several pivotal moments with Joel and Sugar that will change the tone of the rest of the series. I do promise that we will be getting our happy ending, just at a different pace. This chapter does have some triggering moments, so please read the tags before reading. I also want to note that chapters 9 and 10 will be completely rewritten. I have set those chapters to private as I continue to rework them, and I hope to get those chapters out promptly before we dive into 'My Wife in IT'. Thank you so much for reading and for sticking around. I really do appreciate it.

"The conference should only be a few days, baby," Joel reassures you, planting a soft kiss on your forehead before disappearing into the walk-in closet to grab a flannel.

As he starts getting dressed, he catches your lingering gaze and teases, "See something you like, baby?" A mischievous smirk plays on his lips as he zips up his jeans.

Unable to resist, you slide out of bed and join him. Wrapping your arms around him from behind, you pout and playfully protest, "Do you really need to go, though?" You reach around him to button up his shirt, meeting his gaze in the mirror. "The bed will feel so empty without you... and it's kind of weird being here alone."

"Well, with Ellie being in the house I bet you'll hardly feel alone, hell, I can just see her attached to your hip the whole time," Joel replies, spinning around and pulling you into the warmth of his broad chest, kissing the top of your head. "You won't even notice I'm gone when she's around, she'll keep you on your toes plenty."

"Have you spent time with Ellie lately? You know anything could happen when she's around."

Joel smirks, "You've got a point there. I still need to fix the oven from her latest kitchen mishap. But hey, don't stress. If you bring Sir Bubbles along, she'll be entertained for days. It's like she's more attached to him than she is to both of us combined."

"But do you have to go, Joel?" you protest once more, "I'm sure Tommy can handle things; he's a big boy."

Joel raises an intrigued eyebrow. "Bigger than me, Mami?" he murmurs, giving you a little pout.  

"No one is bigger than you, Papi," you tease, giving him a wink. Gazing up at the ceiling, a sudden wave of unease twists your expression. You find yourself clutching at your middle, groaning slightly in pain.

"Baby? Are you okay?" Joel is suddenly at your side, his face etched with concern. He pushes your hair out of your face, giving you a small smile.  

"I don't want to call it, but I think my period is coming," you reply sadly. 

"You would think with all of the times we've tried to get pregnant, surely it would take," you sigh, frowning as you stare at the ceiling, not wanting to face Joel and his disappointment. "I'm sorry, Papi."

"Why are you apologizing to me, Sugar? We have all the time in the world! Besides, I'm loving all of the attempts," he wiggles his eyebrows, pressing a kiss on your forehead. I'm more concerned about your health than anything else, okay?"

"Okay. I'm just worried because we're not getting any younger, and I don't think your knees can handle chasing a toddler," You tease, pulling him into a slow and languid kiss.  

"I'll have you know, all of this sex we've been having has given me a new lease on life, I haven't worked out so much in my damn life! I'm in my prime, baby." Joel runs a hand through his hair as he walks over to the bedroom door, scanning the hallway for Ellie. He turns back to look at you on the bed. "Promise me you'll see a doctor if you get any worse?"

"I can't make any promises-"

"Sugar, I'm serious. If you start to get worse, you call Ellie and have her take you to the doctor. I mean it, baby. Please. Just put my mind at ease, okay?"  

"Okay."

"Ellie!" Joel's voice echoes down the hallway. "Come here for a second!"

"Yeah?" Ellie pops her head out of her bedroom door. "Are you heading out now?" She strolls out, securing her hair into a ponytail as she settles beside you on Joel's bed. "Hey, why don't we swing by your place after the old man leaves to pick up my buddy? I can't wait for Sir Bubbles to see his new cat jungle!"

You flinch slightly, adjusting into a seated position next to Ellie. "Sure thing. We can grab some lunch on the way, too."

Joel clears his throat, retrieving something from his dresser and handing it to you with a smile. "I've been meaning to give this to you sooner, but since I'm leaving for a few days-"

You open the envelope he hands you, eyes widening at the realization that he's giving you an American Express card that matches his, your name etched onto the metal surface. "Woah, Joel, I don't think this is necessary-"

"If you're going to be spending time under this roof while I'm gone, I don't want you using your own money for things like groceries and necessities, especially if it's for you and Ellie. Use this card while I'm away; go to the mall and go wild," he glances at Ellie, who grins conspiratorially. "But no more guitars, Ellie. Not after the last time."

"How was I supposed to know the guitar was $10,000? The one in your office is twice the amount, I swear!" Ellie groans, knocking her shoulder against yours. "I'm sure Sugar will keep me in check, you have nothing to worry about, old man!"

"Hey, are you ready yet, asshole?" Tommy's voice suddenly booms from the front door. "We needed to head to Waco ten minutes ago!" he exclaims.

Joel sticks his head out of his bedroom door. "Yeah, just give me a damn second!" Grabbing his weekender duffle, he presses a kiss on your cheek. "Okay baby, I need to go. I'll see you in two days, okay?"

"Okay," you reply with a smile, pulling him into a kiss. "... and don't worry, nothing bad is going to happen to me, okay? Promise."

"Reservation for Miller," Joel tells the hotel receptionist, retrieving his wallet from his back pocket to produce his Amex. "It should be under Joel Miller."

"Welcome back Mr. Miller!" The receptionist beams, tapping away at her computer. "Let me just pull up your reservation. Give me a moment... Ah, yes, reservation for Joel Miller, one room, two keys."

"Wait, hold on," Tommy interjects, nudging Joel aside. "What do you mean one room?"

"The reservation for Miller only indicates one room," the receptionist replies with a sweet smile, her head cocked to one side.

"Well, there must be some mistake, miss." Joel's brows furrow with concern.

The receptionist glances at the screen, her brow furrowing slightly. "I apologize for any confusion, but that's how it's listed in our system. One room, two keys for Mr. Joel Miller."

Tommy exchanges a perplexed look with Joel, a touch of frustration evident. "Look, we need two separate rooms. Must've been a mix-up. Can you check again or maybe offer us an additional room?"

The receptionist hesitates for a moment before typing away on her keyboard. "I'm sorry for the inconvenience. Let me see if there's anything available." After a brief pause, she looks up. "I'm afraid we're fully booked tonight, with the conference and all, and the reservation is for a single room. Is there anything else I can assist you with?"

"Please tell me there's at least a cot or a pull-out couch in the room," Tommy groans, shaking his head.

The Receptionist hesitates, giggling awkwardly. "Well, there's a king-size bed? I guess it's pretty spacious?" 

Joel and Tommy exchange glances, silently communicating their dissatisfaction with the situation. "Alright, fine," Joel concedes with a sigh. "We'll make do with what we have. But this better not become a habit."

The receptionist offers an apologetic smile. "I assure you, Mr. Miller, we'll do our best to make your stay enjoyable. If you need anything else, please don't hesitate to ask."

Joel and Tommy head towards the elevator, resigned to share a room for the night. As they walk away, Joel mutters to Tommy, "We'll sort this out tomorrow. Let's just get some rest for now."

"I guess it'll be like old times, brother, sharing a room and all," Tommy grunts. "I swear, if you snuggle up with me or fart in the sheets, I'll punch you right in the balls."

"If my memory serves me right, weren't you the one sneaking into my bed when things got a bit dicey in the night?" Joel retorts, arching an eyebrow while casually checking his emails on his iPhone. "Oh, Joel, I'm so scared of the boogeyman, can I sleep with you tonight?!" he imitates in an attempt at a childish voice, smirking.  

"It's really gonna be like that, huh? You're gonna play that card? What about that time after we watched 'A Nightmare on Elm Street'? Weren't you begging Mama to let you sleep in her bed, thinking Freddy's gonna suck you up from your bed like Johnny Depp? Am I gonna wake up to you screaming?"

"Oh, go fuck yourself, Tommy, you ass-" The elevator dings to their floor, a family staring back at them. Tommy clears his throat, navigating around the family, shooting Joel a look as he heads to the room. "Evenin'," Joel murmurs, tipping his head to the family. "Excuse me."

Tommy is already in the room by the time Joel casually strolls in, rummaging through the welcome basket the conference organizers had prepared for Joel. "Well, it's nice of you to grace us with your presence, 'Mr. Austin's Entrepreneur of the Year 2023,'" he teases, extracting a bottle of Johnny Walker. "At least they give you the decent shit." Taking a swig straight from the bottle, he hands it over to Joel.

"Nah, I'm not drinking tonight," Joel murmurs, dropping his weekender unceremoniously on the floor as he plops onto the bed, pinching the space between his eyebrows. "I want to stay sober just in case Sugar calls me."

Tommy takes another swig, settling on the couch beside the window with a view of the city of Waco. "I noticed that she was looking a bit pale. Something going on?"

"She told me that she's about to start her period, I'm assuming that they can be quite an ordeal," Joel muses, glancing at his phone screen displaying a photo of you and him at your birthday dinner. A smile creeps across his face as he observes the image, capturing the moment when you kissed his cheek while he smiled at the camera. "I just have a really weird feeling like something's wrong," he groans, stretching his back onto the mattress.

"Well, Sugar's a big girl; I'm sure she'll be okay. Hell, I know how periods go, with Maria and all. Maybe I'll have her check in just in case." Tommy looks out of the window. "This is nice, you know. The two of us. Feels like it's been ages since we've done something like this."

"That's because the last time we were like this, it was your bachelor weekend in Vegas, and you ditched me and fucked off on some strip club crawl with your friends," Joel chides. "Then you had the fucking audacity to crawl into my bed, only to throw up on me in the middle of the night."

"I told you I was sorry! Shit, you could have come out with us, but you were still hung up on Sugar, even then. I don't know if that girl knows just how much you've loved her all these years."

"All that matters is she knows how much I love her now. Besides, I think it's only a matter of time before I ask her to marry me," Joel muses, revealing a ring from his jeans pocket.

Tommy's eyes widen at the sight of the diamond ring, whistling. "Shit, Joel, you're serious. How many carats is that puppy?"

"Just about 2 carats. Do you think she'll like it?" Joel asks nervously.

"I think she would say yes even without that rock; the girl's been crazy about you."

"I'm scared shitless, to be honest," Joel murmurs. "Never would have thought I would be put in this situation again, getting married and all... wondering if it's the right thing to do since my first marriage crashed and burned."

"Well, it's not like you married for love the first time around," Tommy muses, taking another swig.

"Now I have a second lease on life, time to get married for real. For love, this time."

"So, you get the girl, you ask her to marry you. But what about after that?" Tommy asks, taking another swig of Jimmy Bean. "... are you guys planning on having any kids? Do you want any more kids? You're not getting any younger, brother. Surely you don't want to be chasing some toddler when you're pushing 60-"

"I mean, we talked about the prospect of having kids, Sugar's only 36. I'm not gonna deny her of something she may want because I'm older than her." Joel responds with a heavy sigh. "Truthfully, I would give her anything she wanted, no questions asked... but sometimes I think to myself, what about our kids? I don't want to die before they become adults, you know?"

"... but is kids something that she wants? Sugar's a beautiful woman, surely if she wanted a family, she would have already gotten one, you know?" Tommy muses, chuckling to himself. "Maybe she would have gotten her head out of her ass sooner and sought you out beforehand."

"What are you trying to say, Tommy?"

"I'm saying, maybe before you ask her to marry you, you both have all of your cards on the table, brother."

"What if she wants kids, though? What if she wants a family, and I'm too old to give it to her? I don't want to lose her, I can't lose her. Not when I've just gotten her. I didn't work hard for these last ten years only for me to lose the girl because I can't give her what she wants."

"I have a feeling you don't have to worry about losing her, Joel. I do think that you should talk to her, at least."

Joel nods, a knot forming in his stomach as he contemplates Tommy's words. "Yeah, you're right. I need to have an honest conversation with Sugar about this. I owe her that much."

Tommy claps Joel on the shoulder, offering a reassuring smile. "She loves you, man. Just be open and honest with her, and I'm sure you two will figure it out together."

"Yeah, I hope so," Joel murmurs, a mixture of determination and anxiety swirling within him.

"So, what's the plan for dinner tonight?" Ellie asks, idly toying with Sir Bubbles by the towering cat tree in the family room. "I was thinking of whipping up some homemade Hot Pockets. I saw Sam snacking on them the other day, and they smelled divine!"

"You know, Ellie, you could just buy them at Randalls for $2 instead of going through the trouble of making them."

"Yeah, but where's the fun in that?" She grabs her phone, tapping away at Safari. "I found a great recipe that seems easy enough! Why don't we head to Randalls and grab the ingredients I need?"

"The whole beauty of Hot Pockets is the convenience," you groan, shifting on the sofa while flipping through channels. You wince as you manage to sit up. "You're not one to do things half-assed, are you?"

"I'm a Miller; we don't do things halfway. We must embrace chaos in all its glory, you know?" She glances at you from the corner of her eye, frowning at your pained form. "Are you sure you're okay? You look really uncomfortable sitting there."

You offer her a small smile through the discomfort. "Yeah, I'm just fine. It's that time of the month for me, always a bit uncomfortable."

Ellie nods in agreement. "Yeah, I hate it when I have my period. The cramps, especially! How do you deal with it? Midol?"

"Well, I have a condition that makes periods hell for me," you admit. 

"PCOS is a beast I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. It's like period symptoms on steroids, honestly. Bad cramps, nausea, heavy period flow, the whole nine yards and then some."

Ellie frowns at that. "How long have you had PCOS?"

"Since my mid-twenties?" you muse, scrolling through your phone. "It's been a while, that's for sure."

"Bullshit! That's like a decade! How can you deal with such painful periods like that every month? I would be yelling at the doctors to rip my uterus out!" Ellie pets Sir Bubbles, her face deep in thought. "I heard that women who have PCOS have a hard time conceiving. Is that why you haven't had any kids yet?"

You snort. "Yeah, well, I haven't been trying to have kids, either."

"But I bet it's different now that you're with Joel, huh? I bet he's been wanting to knock you up since you agreed to be with him," she smirks. "I mean, for someone who built his own house, you'd think he would insulate the walls a little more, make it more soundproof-"

"Ellie-" you grit through your teeth, cheeks burning with embarrassment.

"What? I know it's just human nature to want to be intimate with your partner-"

"Ellie, deciding to have kids is a big step in any relationship. It's something that changes your life forever."

"...and is that something you want, Sugar? To have kids?"

"I don't know what I want, really," you respond truthfully, shrugging. "I never really allowed myself to think about the future like this before, and now that I'm with Joel... it's making me question whether or not I would be a good mother. I... I didn't grow up in the most nurturing home when I was a kid, but I do remember promising myself that if I were to have any kids, I wouldn't raise them the way my parents did."

"That's understandable," Ellie quips thoughtfully, settling herself into the couch as she faces you. "I don't think I would ever want kids. It seems so freaking scary and overwhelming; I can't fathom the kind of pressure you're feeling about it. Have you talked to Joel about this?"

"We've talked about it," you admit, the weight of uncertainty evident in your voice. "I don't know if he wants kids, but I'm just not sure if I'm ready. I don't know if I'll ever be ready, you know? I'm scared of disappointing him. What if he sees it as a deal-breaker?"

Ellie nods sympathetically, her demeanor softening. "I get it, Sugar. It's a tough spot to be in. But Joel loves you for you, not for whether you want kids or not. And if he's the right guy, he'll understand your concerns and respect your feelings. Joel's a lot, but I know that this man would do anything for you. I don't think you have anything to worry about. Trust me, I live with the guy."

You exhale slowly, feeling a bit lighter with Ellie's reassurance. "Thanks, Ellie. I guess I need to talk to Joel and figure things out."

"Exactly," Ellie responds with a hopeful smile. "Communication is key. Just be honest with him, and who knows? Maybe you two can find a way through this together."

"You know, you're pretty wise for a little shit, but I do appreciate the words of wisdom, Ellie Bellie. Maybe you're not so bad after all," you tease, a chuckle escaping your lips. "Thanks for the armchair therapy. Should we get a move on to buy the ingredients for these hot pockets of yours?"

"Yeah, yeah," Ellie sighs. "We might as well head to Target, so we can get some Midol too. Grab your key; I'm driving! Can't have you navigating these streets in your condition. Plus, I've been meaning to take the Tessie out on a joyride!"

The next morning, you wake up to find blood on the sheets. Panic grips you as a sharp, stabbing pain surges through your lower body, causing you to double over in agony. You suppress tears as you carefully slip out of Joel's bed, realizing that your flow was so heavy it soaked through to the mattress. Gathering the sheets, you remove your stained pajamas and underwear, wrapping yourself in a towel to avoid waking Ellie down the hall.

On tiptoes, you make your way to the laundry room, groaning with each step. After depositing the soiled linens and clothes into the wash, you hobble back to Joel's bedroom. Sighing, you enter the bathroom and draw a hot bath. Glancing at your phone, it's 5:34 am. You meet your reflection in the mirror, eyes widening at the sight—your skin is pale and clammy. Quickly splashing water on your face, you try to shake off the discomfort.

You recall your recent FaceTime with Joel. You remember the sadness and concern in his eyes as he saw your pain. It's not like any period you've experienced before.

"Baby, I really think you should go to the ER," he pleads. "Wake Ellie up, have her take you-"

"It's just my period, Joel," you assure him, smiling through the pain to ease his worry. "Sometimes they get really bad, maybe this time is one of those times."

"I just wish you wouldn't be so stubborn, Mami. This is really concerning, maybe I should drive back-"

"I just think I should sleep it off. If it's not any better, I'll go to the hospital, okay? Sleep makes everything better," you promise, knowing your stubbornness may hold true. It's not new to you, but how is Joel to know?

"I wish I could keep you on FaceTime all night, just to make sure you're okay, but I don't want to keep you up with all of Tommy's snoring-"

"I'll be fine, baby, don't worry. You have a big day tomorrow, Austin's Entrepreneur of the Year," you tease, hoping to divert the conversation. "I love you so much, Papi. I wish you were here with me."

"I wish I was too, baby," Joel smiles. "Call me tomorrow? And please, if it doesn't get any better-"

"... I'll go straight to the doctor. I promise."

"Hey, Sugar, you don't look too hot."

"I'm fine, Ellie. Just a little headache," you assure her, managing a weak smile while holding up your Owala water bottle. "Probably just dehydrated, nothing a little water can't fix. I also got my period last night, and it always gives me problems. It's just a bit heavier than usual."

Ellie eyes you with concern. "Maybe it's time we get it checked out. Joel did say-"

"I know, Ellie, but I'm already behind on my reports, and Tess will flip if I don't finish them by the end of the day. I'll tough it out. If it gets worse, I promise I'll get myself checked out. I'll even let you drive me there, okay? Let's just keep this between us for now. I wouldn't want to bother Joel by being a baby about period cramps."

"Well, could you at least try to eat something? I swear the last time I saw you eat was yesterday. Joel's gonna kill me if something happens to you, and I really don't need that kind of stress right now. Not before the apprentice exam," Ellie urges, sliding her glass container into the microwave. "Besides, you can try out the Hot Pockets we made last night!"

"Isn't this supposed to be the other way around? I'm the adult in this equation; I should be looking over you, not the other way around," you chuckle. "What would Joel say if he saw us right now?"

"He would give us his best frowny face and bridal carry you out of here, taking you to the doctor," she replies, taking the seat across from you. "I'm not lying when I tell you that you look sick as hell. You should be at home, resting! I'm really worried about you, Sugar. For real this time. You need to at least eat something so you don't pass out!"

She places one of her creations on a plate, presenting it in front of you with a flourish as she begins to devour her own, inhaling it in a few bites. "Damn, that was good," she exclaims to herself, leaning back in her chair, taking a sip of her Baja Blast. "Come on, Sugar," she pleads, "Eat!"

You take a deep breath as you eye the hot pocket, your stomach churning at the overwhelming smell. With a hesitant smile, you lift it off your plate, taking a small, careful bite to avoid offending Ellie. "Mmm," you say softly, placing it back onto your plate. "You really outdid yourself this time, Ellie!" you commend, pushing the plate away. However, the effort to conceal your discomfort becomes futile as your head starts to spin when you attempt to stand.

Ellie's eyes widen as she quickly rises from her seat. "Sugar-"

"Ellie, I'll be right-"

Before you can reach the door, everything turns black.

"Sugar!" Ellie screams, dropping to her knees as she attempts to lift you, panic evident in her voice. "Somebody, help!"

Bill bursts through the door in an instant, his eyes wild as he assesses the situation. "What the hell happened?"

"I don't know!" Ellie exclaims, cradling your head in her lap as tears stream down her face. "She wasn't looking too good, so I gave her a hot pocket, and she took one bite and fainted! What am I going to do? Joel's going to freak!"

"Bill?" Frank calls out as he enters the breakroom. "What the hell is going on?!"

"Frank," he says calmly, "Call 911. Tell them that someone passed out." He turns his attention back to Ellie, his eyes focused. "Ellie, do you know if she hit her head?" Ellie is frozen in place, her breathing erratic, the weight of the situation settling in.

"Ellie!" Bill shouts, trying to maintain control. "Focus! Did she hit her head or not?"

"I don't know!" she says shakily, her hands trembling. "Everything happened so fast!"

"Bill," Frank says uneasily, "She's bleeding," he points to your lower body, his eyes widening in fear. "It's a lot of blood, fuck, is she... what if-"

"Fuck this!" Bill mutters, urgency in his voice as he picks up your limp body. "Frank, get the van, we need to go to the hospital, NOW." He looks over at Ellie, who is crying uncontrollably. "Ellie, call Joel."

"But Sugar begged me not to call Joel-"

"Joel won't forgive you if you keep him in the dark. Get him on the phone, NOW," he commands, darting towards the door behind Frank. "... and pick up the pace! You're coming with us!"

Ellie grabs her phone from her back pocket, her hands shaking as she scrambles to call Joel. She curses as it goes straight to voicemail. "He's not answering! It's going straight to voicemail-"

"THEN CALL TOMMY, ELLIE!" he shouts as Frank parks near the entrance, engine still running. He hurries out of the driver's seat, opening the back door. "Ellie, sit here! I need you to elevate her head!" 

Ellie jumps into the car, phone in hand. Bill gently places you in the van, positioning your head across Ellie's lap. "Keep it elevated, okay?" Ellie nods, looking at you with concern. "Do you think she's going to be okay?" she whispers, placing a hand on your cheek. "This is all my fault-"

"Ellie," Bill says, heading toward the driver's seat. "This is not the time for that," he steps on the gas, swerving to avoid an oncoming vehicle. "Put Tommy on the phone, now!"

Ellie fumbles with her phone, quickly dialing Tommy's number. As the line rings, Bill navigates the van through the chaotic streets, tension thick in the air.

"Come on, Tommy, pick up," Ellie mutters anxiously, glancing at you still cradled in her lap. After a few tense moments, Tommy's voice crackles through the phone.  

"Ellie? What's happening?"

"It's Sugar. We're on our way to the hospital. Something's wrong," Ellie replies, her voice shaky. "I tried to call Joel but it's going straight to voicemail! Could you put him on the line? Please!"

"Shit, Ellie-" Tommy stammers, "He's about to go on stage-"

"What's going on?" Joel notices Tommy's unease. "Who is it?"

Tommy hesitates as he puts the phone on speaker. "It's Ellie, something's happened at the office-"

"Joel? Dad?" Ellie cries, her voice quivering.

"Ellie? Baby girl, what's wrong?" Joel asks worriedly, peering out to the stage as the emcee begins. "Baby, what's going on?!"

"It's Sugar, something happened at lunch-" she sobs, looking down at your pale form.

Tommy's eyes widen as he witnesses Joel's demeanor change rapidly. "Ellie, what happened to Sugar?" he soothes, trying to get her to calm down through her sobs. "Come on baby, breathe-"

"She passed out at work! I know, she shouldn't have gone in, but she swore that she was fine! I tried to get her to eat something and she looked sick all of a sudden... and then she was on the ground, bleeding! It all happened so fast, I swear! I'm so sorry, Dad! It's all my fault!" she cries.

"Joel," Bill cuts in, honking as he narrowly misses a car he overtakes. "I'm heading over to Austin General, ETA 2 minutes. She's lost a lot of blood." He runs a red light, a barrage of horns erupting from the maneuver. "I don't know what's going on, but I'm going to get her there."

"You're driving her there? Why didn't you call 911?" Joel demands.

"They would have taken too long, Joel. Minutes we do not have. Trust me, I'll get her there faster than they could," Bill hesitates. "Joel, I think she's-" The line cuts off as Ellie's phone dies.  

"BILL? ELLIE??!" Joel screams into the phone frantically as he runs his hand through his hair. He tries to call Ellie back, only to be met with voicemail. "Fuck!" he shouts, trying to call Bill. "Why aren't they answering?"

"Joel, you're gonna have to tell me what the fuck is going on-"

"Sugar collapsed at work. They're on their way to Austin General now. Grab your shit, we're leaving."

[and it's with my great pleasure to introduce you to our keynote speaker and Austin's Entrepreneur of the Year, Joel Miller!]

"Okay Mr. Miller," the assistant interrupts, hand on his earpiece. "You're up!"

"I have a family emergency, I need to leave," Joel replies, attempting to make a quick exit.

"No can do, Mr. Miller; it's your turn!" The assistant insists, pushing Joel towards the door.

"Are you deaf?!" Joel shouts, forcefully removing the assistant's hands from him. "I already told you, my wife is being taken to the hospital right now-"

"Just get on stage, say your piece for five minutes, and then you can go straight to the hospital," the assistant insists, shoving Joel towards the door, unfazed.

Joel's frustration boils over, and he shoves the assistant back, his anger reaching its peak. "Listen, I don't give a damn about your schedule! My wife needs me, and I'm not wasting another second here!"

The assistant, angered by Joel's defiance, clenches his fists. "You're not going anywhere until you fulfill your obligations. This is important!"

"Joel, we don't have time for this!" Tommy grits, glaring at the assistant. "If we leave now, we can miss the rush on 1-35."

The assistant grabs Joel's forearm, pulling him as he makes his way towards the door that leads to the stage. "You're getting on that stage, give your fucking speech, and then you can fuck off and get to your little wife-"

Joel pulls himself out of his grasp. "Are you fucking kidding me? Don't put your hands on me!"  

The man glares at Joel. "Look asshole, we fucking paid for you to come here, and you're not going to make some half-assed excuse about your sick wife-"

Joel's patience snaps, and he throws a punch, hitting the guy square in the face. "Don't talk about my wife like that!"

"Fuck! You broke my fucking nose!" he shouts, tackling Joel to the ground. He manages to land one good punch before Tommy intervenes, pulling the man off of him and shoving him to the ground. "What the fuck is your problem, man?" he yells as he tries to get up.  

"Joel, are you okay? Come on, let's get the fuck out of here before they call someone!" Tommy hoists Joel onto his feet, his lip split and a bruise forming on his cheek. They run towards the parking garage, Tommy throwing his keys at Joel as they jump in, peeling out of the parking stall. At the corner of Joel's eyes, he sees security guards running along the lot, searching for them.  

"Stop!" one of the guards yells, trying to block the truck at the exit. Joel swerves around, narrowly avoiding the guard as they pass the parking attendant booth. He hits the gas, driving through the parking arms, pieces flying over the dashboard as they merge onto the main road. "Joel, think they'll chase us?" Tommy asks, the tension thick as they speed away. "I don't think Maria will appreciate watching us on a high-speed chase on the evening news-"

"Shut the fuck up, Tommy!" Joel cuts him off, navigating towards the freeway out of Waco, heading to Austin. "Just let me fucking concentrate on the road!"

"Slow down, Joel! Dying on the way there won't help anyone!" Tommy yells as Joel narrowly avoids a car while speeding down the freeway. Fortunately, no police cars are chasing them as they make their way towards Austin. "I can't believe that guy wanted to fight you, and you just started throwing punches!"

"Tommy, not now," Joel grits his teeth, gripping the wheel tightly. "I knew I should've stayed home. If I were there, then-"

Tommy's phone rings, displaying Sarah's face on the screen. He answers the Facetime call, and Sarah's concerned face fills the screen. "Where are you guys?" she asks nervously. "Ellie's phone died, but the hospital just called asking for information. You're her emergency contact, Dad."

"Do you know what's going on?" Joel inquires as he navigates down the freeway. "I don't have my phone, but we're on I-35 right now, should be there in about 30 minutes."

"They can't release any information because we're not family," she says hesitantly. "I'm legally supposed to call her parents, but-"

"You can't call them, Baby. She wouldn't want them there. Tell them she's my wife, and I'm on my way," Joel insists.

"Dad, I don't think we should lie about that-" Sarah expresses her concern.

"I'm all she has, baby. I can't be kept in the dark. Were you there when it happened?"

"No, but Dad, she was bleeding. There was a lot of blood-"

"Damn it!" Joel slams his hands on the steering wheel, his eyes wide as he overtakes a few cars, stepping on the gas. "I should've followed my gut and stayed home. She was already in pain when I left yesterday!"

"Well, speeding down the freeway isn't helping, Dad!" Sarah shouts through the phone. "We're all concerned for Sugar, not just you. I sent Tess to the hospital to bring chargers and Bill and Frank's phones. I need you to relax; it's not going to help her if you two get into an accident!"

"I can't help it, baby girl. I love her, and it's hard to think straight. All I'm thinking about is how scared I am. I can't lose her. I've already known how it feels losing her all these years; I don't think I can survive a second time."

"I know, Dad," Sarah replies. "Just get to her in one piece, okay? I'll let you know if I hear anything back."

"What do you mean I can't go in with her?" Ellie groans, attempting to keep pace with the gurney as they rush you down the hallway towards a room, with Bill and Frank following behind.

The doctor raises an eyebrow at her. "Are you her family?"

"She's my sister!" Ellie asserts. "I was adopted by her family!"

"Doctor," the nurse interjects urgently. "She's lost a lot of blood; she's going to need a transfusion... she might be in the middle of a hemorrhage-"

"If you know she needs a transfusion, then what are you waiting for?"

"The patient has O Negative, and we don't have any on hand-"

"I have O Negative!" Ellie tells the nurse, showing her wrist. "I found out my blood type after an accident as a kid. Take it from me, please!"

The doctor eyes Ellie warily. "... and you're sure she's your sister?"

"Not by blood, but by heart. Please, doctor. She's important to me, and I know she would do the same for me in a heartbeat," Ellie pleads.

The doctor sighs, nodding his head in agreement. "Fine, if you say that she's your sister, then I'll just take your word for it. Nurse, prep her for a blood draw. She's a match."

"Hey! You can't park here!" The hospital security guard shouts as Joel and Tommy hastily exit the car, leaving it right outside the ER. Joel sprints through the hospital, Tommy trailing behind him. He reaches the receptionist's stand, his chest heaving. "Where is she? Where is my wife?!" he demands, attempting to jump over the partition, with Tommy trying to hold him back.

"Sir, I'm going to need you to calm down," the receptionist replies, glaring at both of them. "I'm going to need a name."

Joel hesitates but states your first name, adding 'Miller' as your last. Tommy shoots him a look, signaling the obvious lie, but Joel gives him a warning glare. The receptionist's eyes narrow at Joel. "She was just brought in 20 minutes ago. She's currently under observation but will be put in a room soon. Should be room 203. You can wait for her if you'd like."

Joel breathes a sigh of relief. "Do you have any idea what's going on?"

"I don't, but the attending Doctor should be with her. He could answer any of your questions," she hands him a clipboard. "I'm going to need you to fill this out for me with her information, and then you can head down the hall and take a left. Her room should be a few doors down that corridor." She assesses his disheveled state. "Sir, are you needing assistance as well?"

"I'm fine," Joel dismisses her as he fills out the form. He takes out his Amex and hands it to the receptionist. "I don't have her insurance card, but please put all charges on this card."

The receptionist's eyes widen at the color of his Amex. "Certainly, sir."

Joel strides down the hallway towards room 203, catching a glimpse of Ellie in the room adjacent to yours, a nurse tending to her bandaged wrist. His heart lurches at the sight, but he pushes the worry aside for the moment. As he approaches your room, he sees Bill and Frank sitting on a nearby bench, their expressions heavy with concern. Frank rests his head on Bill's shoulder, a distant sadness clouding his eyes.

"Bill!" Joel's voice echoes in the hallway. "Thank you for bringing her here!" He notices their somber demeanor and furrows his brow. "What happened-"

Bill hesitates, his gaze flickering with reluctance. "Joel, I think it's best if you go inside and talk to the doctor," he suggests softly, his voice strained with emotion. "He'll be able to explain everything to you." He offers a weak smile, though it fails to mask the worry etched on his face. "Frank and I are gonna head back to the office, alright?"

"Yeah," Joel stammers, nodding. "Thanks again, Bill... for everything."

"Anytime, Joel," Bill responds, his eyes watery. "Take care of her, okay? She's gonna need you."

Joel's stomach churns with apprehension, but he nods in understanding. With a final glance at Bill and Frank, he takes a deep breath and steps into your room, steeling himself for whatever news awaits him. He nods as he walks into your hospital room, audibly gasping at the sight of you, unconscious. A doctor is tending to you, engaged in conversation with a nurse. He turns around at the sound of the gasp.

"Mr. Miller, I presume?"

"What's going on with her, Doc?" Joel asks, his face reflecting a mix of worry and tears.

The doctor eyes Joel silently, a heavy sigh escaping from his chest.  

"Why are you not telling me anything? She's my wife-"

The doctor, catching on to Joel's distress, gives a serious look. "Mr. Miller, let's maintain a level of seriousness here."

"But she's practically my wife! I'd give my life for her, you understand? Please, man to man, wouldn't you do the same for someone you love?" he pleads, Tommy, looking away from his brother to keep himself from breaking down.  

The doctor, unyielding, emphasizes, "We have legal protocols to safeguard those who can't speak for themselves. I can't divulge information to just anyone; there are procedures that must be followed for the well-being of the patient."

"Well, what can you tell me, then?" Joel's voice wavers as he pleads with the doctor. "I'm in the dark here, doctor. Please," Joel begs. "Just give me something. Tell me she's going to be okay."

The doctor takes a deep breath before delivering the news, "She was pregnant, Mr. Miller. She has Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome and is anemic. Due to significant blood loss, we had to perform a blood transfusion. Luckily, someone who accompanied her was a match."

Joel's heart sinks as the words hit him like a ton of bricks. "Was? So, Sugar and the baby... Are they okay?"

The doctor's demeanor shifts, his eyes reflecting a mix of empathy and gravity. "Mr. Miller," he begins cautiously, "Sugar lost a lot of blood during the procedure. She was suffering from a hemorrhage and was going into shock. I did everything in my power to save them both, but... I'm sorry, Mr. Miller. The baby didn't make it. Sugar almost didn't make it out herself. Without that blood transfusion-" He trails off, the weight of the situation hanging heavy in the air.  

"Ellie..." Joel whispers, realization dawning on him as he connects the dots. "That's why she's bandaged up?"

The doctor leans in, a glimmer of understanding in his eyes. "Yes," he confirms, his tone somber. "What we did was highly unethical and illegal. I don't appreciate being lied to, but your daughter's quick thinking saved Sugar's life. Despite the miscarriage, Ellie's actions kept Sugar alive. It was incredibly brave of her. I'm willing to keep this between us if any issues arise. Sugar is still with us because of her. That girl has nerves of steel," he chuckles softly, his gaze distant with memories. "Reminds me of my daughter. Us fathers need to stick together, right?"

Joel nods, his gaze unwaveringly fixed on you lying on the hospital bed. "I knew something was wrong... I should have stayed back. I can't imagine the pain she must have been in-"

"Unfortunately, this is highly common for women with her condition," the doctor interjects, his tone gentle yet matter-of-fact. "As much as we can dwell on the what-ifs, most times the baby won't make it past the first trimester. It does give us a little hope that she was able to conceive to begin with. Have you two been trying long?"

Joel's shoulders sag slightly at the doctor's words, a mixture of grief and understanding washing over him. "We've spoken about it, but only decided to try recently," he admits, his voice tinged with sadness. "But we never imagined it would end like this."

The doctor offers a sympathetic nod, his expression reflecting empathy. "I'm sorry for your loss, Joel. Losing a child is never easy, but please know that you're not alone in this. If either of you need support or someone to talk to, we have resources available. I want to have Sugar spend a day or two here, just to make sure her blood count gets back to normal. You're welcome to stay as long as you need to, okay? I'll make sure of it."

Joel manages a faint smile, grateful for the doctor's compassion. "Thank you," he murmurs, his gaze drifting back to you, his heart heavy with sorrow yet filled with love and determination. 

The doctor nods, glancing at Joel's disheveled appearance and the split lip. "I can get someone to fix that for you if you'd like. Waking up to see you like this might frighten Sugar. You must have been through hell to get here."

"Pretty much," Tommy says sadly, his eyes filled with tears. "Thank you for saving Sugar, doc. We really owe you one."

The doctor nods. "Yeah, well, thank your little girl; she's the real hero today." He gestures behind Tommy and Joel. Ellie stands at the doorway, nervously fiddling with the bandage on her wrist. Giving Joel one last nod, the doctor makes his way to the door, giving Ellie a comforting pat on her shoulder as he walks away. Joel turns his attention back to Ellie, a sad look on his face as he tries not to lose his shit in front of his brother and his daughter.  

"Ellie-" he starts, his voice shaky. "Baby-"

"Oh, it was nothing, you know, just another day at the office," she casually says, downplaying herself. "Besides, she's family, and we do anything for family." 

"You're damn right we do," Tommy boasts, pulling Ellie into a side hug. "You saved the day, Girlie."

"You sure did," Joel cries, pulling her into a tight hug, his tears soaking into her hair. "You did so good, baby girl. Thank you, thank you, baby."

Ellie hugs Joel back, sobbing into his chest and clinging to his shirt. "I was so scared, Joel. It made me think about what happened with Marlene, and I just froze! If Bill didn't step in, I don't know what would have happened—"

"Ellie—"

"... and I told her that she should tell you. She looked so sick, so I told her that she needed to eat something, and I gave her a hot pocket—"

"A hot pocket?"

"Yeah, we made it last night, and even then, I knew something was up. She was always wincing and flinching in pain, told me that she was on her period—"

"Ellie. She was bleeding out, then. It—" Joel takes her face in his hands, his expression serious. "She was pregnant, baby girl. She has a condition that makes her bleed heavily. Fuck, she must have been in so much pain—"

"Wait," Ellie says, her eyes reflecting shock. "What do you mean, she was pregnant? Does this mean that she lost the baby?" she says solemnly, turning her attention to you. "Joel, I'm so sorry, maybe if I had been more stubborn and firm with her, maybe-"

"Ellie, trust me when I say that none of this was your fault, baby girl," Joel pulls her into his chest as she sobs, his hand soothing her back. "These things happen all the time with women that have the same condition as her. Honestly, I'm just happy that she had you to watch over her, you did everything perfectly, alright? No more tears, baby. Sugar's still here with us, and that's all that matters, okay?"

"Okay," Ellie murmurs into his chest. "Joel, what's going to happen now? are you going to tell her? We need to tell her, right?"  

"Why don't you head back to the office with Tommy and let me worry about that, alright?" Joel responds, sighing as he sits at the edge of your bed. "I think you've had too much excitement for one day, I can talk to her when she wakes up, okay? Don't worry."

Tommy places a comforting hand on Joel's shoulder, pulling him into a side hug. "I'm really sorry, brother. If there's anything you both need, just let me know, okay?"

Joel nods. "Thanks, Tommy."

"Ready to go, Ellie?" Tommy asks, wrapping an arm around her shoulder. "We better get moving before they tow my truck out front." Ellie nods as they both give you and Joel one last glance, making their way out of your hospital room.

"Let me know if you need me to bring you anything from home, alright?" Ellie tells Joel, giving him one last smile. "Take care of yourself. I love you."

"I love you too, baby. Get some rest, okay?"

Joel looks back at them helplessly as a sob escapes his mouth. He buries his face in his hands, finally allowing himself to fall completely apart. As heartbreaking as the miscarriage is, the thought of losing you at the same time is unbearable. How could he have turned a blind eye to the pain you were going through? How could he have almost lost you, just like that? The guilt and anguish weigh heavily on his shoulders as he grapples with the harsh reality of the situation.

"I'm so sorry, baby," he cries, reaching for your hand. Joel presses a soft kiss on your forehead, his tears falling upon your face. He wipes them away as he settles himself on the seat next to your bed, his eyes never leaving your face as he waits for you to wake up. Every fiber of his being yearns for you to open your eyes, to assure him that you're still here, still fighting alongside him.

Taglist: @sarcasm-theotherwhitemeat@gwendibleywrites@brittmb115@joeldjarin@drewharrisonwriter@littlebunnybigheartfics

@missladym1981 @auteurdelabre @quicax3 @casa-boiardi @amyispxnk

@untamedheart81@paleidiot@laurrrra@la-vie-est-une-fleur29@bbiophiliaa

@thewiigers@survivingandenduring (I apologize if I missed anyone, but if you are looking for any of my fic updates, please feel free to follow my updates blog @chiriwritesstuffnotifs!)

[justanamesstuff]

Chapter 5

Seasons

Matty Healy x f!reader A/N: And one day she uploaded the fifth chapter! I'm very happy to bring you guys this new chapter I had fun writing and editing...it's full of emotions but so am I. I also want to thank you all for patience and understanding while I'm going through this difficult time of my life, i really dont know where i will be without your unconditional love and support!! Please let me know what you think and what you expect for this tangled story <333 love you lots! Warnings: ANGST, anxiety, so many feelings...fluff, cuteness, surprises, typos. Word count: 8.2 K

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< Chapter 4

Few weeks later, LA

Matty felt the mild temperature on the air caressing his cheeks as he opened the door of his rented car at the airport. Denise and some of her friends were supposed to step out of the big doors in only minutes. Trying to be a good son, he offered himself without being asked. One because he wanted to see his mother and, two, because staying at home with Hann’s eyes following around all the time was driving the frontman insane. They had been going through a weird phase after the talk involving Matty’s feelings and problems. They were good but, at the same time, they weren’t. Just as Matty with Y/N. Why that kept happening to him? No clear answer.

While he waited, Matty walked around the rented car, his hood up and trying to wake up massaging his face harder than intended. He was trying to keep his mind at ease. He couldn’t think about his issues. Quickly, Matty’s hands reached quickly for his pack of cigarettes. 

Matty deliberated a hundred of times if asking his mom about the situation would help, even though it was complicated. He would put her in a sketchy situation, and he was against it. At the same time, he knew very well –deep down– his mother would see through his eyes with her x-ray vision and say exactly what he had to do but was avoiding. 

Matty didn’t feel ready.

He had to decide. To accept what was really going on with his feelings, say those out loud and risk a lot in the middle. Or keep the same behaviour, not only the one he maintained for the past months, for the past years. Either way, he’d continue  hurting himself.

Lies -no matter how suited they could be- at the end are lies anyway. Denying feelings you have, don’t make them disappear…you only sweep them under the carpet and wait for them to explode in your face sooner or later.

The process of accepting is painful most of the time, but isn’t more painful to believe something that is not? Isn’t it worse to maintain a relationship that deep down you knew you don’t want?

Matty was protecting his heart. He was getting himself ready for the next part…for the inevitable. 

After a couple of more minutes, the singer spotted his mother looking for him. At the same moment, his phone rang.

“’Ello?” he answered, throwing away the butt of his smoked cigarette. 

“Hi Matty, where are you?” his mother asked. He gave her the directions, as he waved his free arm in the air. The whole group approached him. “Hi, love!” Denise greeted him, embracing him on a hug.

“Hi, mom.” Matty muttered, feeling the warmth of her arms. He didn’t realize how much he had needed that hug. “How was the flight?” the singer asked politely while greeting his mother’s friends.

“It was good.” one of them responded.

“Where are the others?” Denise asked.

“At the house, I volunteered to pick you up.”

“Aw, my son.” Denise took his face between her hands. 

Matty laughed feeling the tight squeeze. “Mom, stop!” he moved away, feeling like he was a teenager all over again.

“Oh, shush!!” she protested making the rest laugh.

Shortly after, Matty and the group of women got on the car. He started driving, chatting a little with Denise’s friends and her mom. He made jokes, trying to be the nicest he could be.

“So, how’s the record going?” Denise inquired.

Matty didn’t give her much information, “Good, good.”

“You look tired.” she noticed.

“I am.”

“Are you sleeping well?”

“Mom!” Matty whined, stopping at a red light. 

“What? I want to know if my son is alright.” 

“I’m sleeping just right, okay?”

Denise scoffed. “What that even means?” her accent thickened warming Matty’s heart thinking about home. 

“Oh god, I was missing you but…now I don’t know-” Matty teased her. He felt the urge to divert the attention.

“Excuse me, boy? First, I know you missed me- “

Matty smiled wide, “I did.”

“-and secondly, you can’t get fussy. I’m angry with you.” she folded her arms, emphasizing her sayings which was answered with a frown from Matty.

“What are you on about now?” Matty asked her.

“And you dare to ask!”

“Denise…” Matty warned her.

“Y/n? Ireland?“ Matty’s mother started counting, Matty’s face dropping. “Does that ring any bells?” 

Matty scratched the back of his head. “No? I mean- Yes, she’s working over there.”

“Not that! I know that!” Denise shouted. “Well, I’ve already known that.”

Denise’s son turned for a split of a second, staring at her puzzled. “What else then?”

“She’s dating someone! Don’t fake like you don’t know…” she continued rambling, but Matty’s ears closed. His mind was foggy while he imagined Y/n and a boy with no face doing a ton of shit he couldn’t do with her. 

“Like actually dating?” Matty’s voice came out strangled. He didn’t dare to look at her mother.

Denise hide her mouth behind her right hand, gasping, “Oh, you don’t know! She’s going to kill me!”

“Mom…”

“Do you remember Tom?” she exhaled.

“Tom?”

“Tom Blyth.”

“Yes, I do. I saw him at an even, I reckon? Not sure.” Matty’s mind desperately trying to remember how this Tom looked like. 

“Well, they… I don’t know how much I can tell you. I shouldn’t say a thing.” Denise explained, worried. Y/n never told her not to tell, but still.

“Don’t worry, I knew she was dating someone.” Matty lied. Y/n told him about a boy she fancied, not this. Why didn’t she? They talked a week prior, why hide this?

“Oh, okay. I’m really happy for her.” Denise felt a wave of relief washing over her.

“Yeah, me too.” Matty said through gritted teeth.

“It’s lovely she’s dating someone! He sounds like a good lad.” Denise continued ranting, unaware of Matty’s emotions.

“Yes, it is.” Matty couldn’t say more. His heart was aching. 

“Anyway, how’s Nadia?” his mother changed the topic.

“Ah?” Matty snapped out of his daydreaming. “Oh, Nadia- She- Yeah, she is alright. I guess, she’s in Italy right now.” Matty responded. Hoping his mother didn’t ask more. Luckily she didn’t.

Matty drove the group of women to the hotel they were going to stay at. He promised to come back later for dinner, and then he continued his driving.

His mind was nowhere to be found. His heart was hurt. Matty’s body was on pilot mode, he only wanted to arrive at the house and sleep. Just forget the news.

This Tom and Y/n? This new dude and his best friend? He couldn’t picture it. He didn’t want to. Why Y/n never said his name?

Matty was sure that the last conversation they had had was a fully sincerely one. He knew they didn’t talk about many important parts but…why she didn’t tell him?

…………………………………………

Hours later

Matty woke up suddenly. He sat on his bed, trying to calm his breathing. His heart beating so fast, he could perfectly sense it and hear it in his ears. 

After dropping her mother at the hotel, he came back home to sleep for a couple of hours before leaving to set. His life was hectic right now. His mind was troubled. And now his body was showing it more than before. He had to decide sooner than later. This thing was going to drive him insane.

His mother told him a lot of information he hadn’t considered. In fact, he forgot about this guy Y/n talked about. Matty was so focused on his relationship with her. On his relationship with his girlfriend. With maintaining both alive and going. But in the end: one, he wasn’t fulfilling the task, and secondly, he was only focusing on him.

The guy, well, Tom…never was in the equation for him. He kept Y/n in a place, in his head, where she was single and no seeking for a relationship right now. Did she tell him that or he believed it? She did tell him about this guy she had a crush on…but Matty knew that Y/n never took the lead. Probably Tom made a move. 

Matty ripped the blankets from his body, irritated.

He had to be happy for Y/n. He wanted to be happy. Matty couldn’t. He was more than screwed, he realized. The singer couldn’t say it out loud, not even to himself only. But he knew why this bothered him so much.

For a while he sat on his bed, running his hands –desperately– through his curls, trying to find the answer to his sorrows. 

Nothing helpful came to mind, but his breathing settled a little. His mind kept running. 

And then he remembered his dream.

He could picture it so vividly. It wasn’t fully a dream. It was more a memory with Y/n.

The dream took place months after they became friends. That time the rest of the gang wasn’t there, just Y/n and Matty. They had this kind of tradition, like a movie night but different. Instead of films they watched series. Sitcoms in particular. One of them picked two numbers, one for the episode and another for the season.

This time they were watching the office. They loved it. And Y/n particularly loved Pam and Jim’s relationship. Every time they appeared on the screen doing something remotely cute she screamed or remarked it for Matty in case he missed it.

He couldn’t care less about the episode. He was focused on her. How beautiful she got cheering for some random characters. Matty tried to look at her without her noticing. Y/n made him feel so many things back then. 

“Omg, he’s going to propose. Matthew!!” Y/n screamed turning to look at him, and then again to the screen.

“He’s not.”

“He totally is!”

“You already know what happens!” Matty accused her, chuckling. 

“Shh, I want to pretend that I don’t know.” the singer remembered how she snuggled closer to him. “Let…” she pointed a finger on his chest. “me…” again. “be, Healy.” Y/n looked up at his brown eyes, so close and yet so far. Matty’s heart was going to explode on his chest. He stayed there, just looking at Y/n. “Stop.” she looked away after a few minutes without a real reply from him. 

“I’m not doing anything, darling.” he smiled.

“You are.”

“What am I doing?”

“Looking at me.”Y/n said, drawing patterns on his clothed chest around his heart where his tattoo was imprinted. The girl wasn’t aware of the power she had upon him.

“Well, yeah, I’m not blind.” Matty was so surprised about how well he was faking being unbothered. “What’s wrong?”

“You are looking me like that night…” he made a puzzled face. “The night we met.” Y/n clarified. 

“Ohh.” he cooed.

“So- yeah- stop.”

“What if I don’t want to?” he asked cheekily. Matty touched the redness of her cheeks gaining her attention again.

“Dunno.”

“You’re beau-” Matty couldn’t help to start saying. Y/n moved her head forward hiding her face on his shoulder.

“Shh. Don’t. Let’s continue watching.” she made herself comfortable on his left side. Using his shoulder as a pillow this time. Matty couldn’t complain. He was happy there, with her, even when the words got stacked on his throat.

Y/n was everything he wanted back then. Why did he stop trying? Yes, they were friends. That was the most important part of this mess. Although he hated himself for not trying enough, for not waiting enough, for being an idiot, to realize late all of this when she was apparently starting a relationship with someone else, and he was in a former one already.

Nadia. He kind of used Nadia. He loved her, but not in that way…or not any more as the beginning. Matty couldn’t keep with that. He was going to hurt her so much..if he wasn’t already. Why he convinced himself he was ready for a formal relationship with someone else when in fact he wanted her? 

 If he broke the relationship, both of them would get hurt. Nadia doesn’t deserve that, in fact, she deserved better than a half love. It was the best, in the way that he had to let her have a better opportunity.

Matty ran his hands through his hair anxiously for a million time. He needed to know about this Y/n and Tom thing. He had to be sure if it was a real thing. Not because it would help. It would hurt in fact, even though he had the urged to know. He couldn’t ask Y/n though. Matty was sure that George knew something. He had to ask him.

Matty walked the short distance from his room to the studio downstairs where he knew George would be. 

He opened the door without announcing his presence. 

“Everything okay, mate?” George said in a calm tone without turning, his eyes still on the board in font of his eyes. 

“Do you know Y/n is with a Tom?” Matty didn’t wait a second. 

His best friend’s body stiffened visibly. “Tom? What Tom?” G tried playing dumb, although Matty saw right through him.

“George, I’m not in the mood for this. I know you know. So fuckin’ start talking.” he stated.

“Mat-“ 

The singer cut him short, “Don’t use that stupid tone with me.” Matty pointed his finger even though George couldn’t see him. He sat down on the couch behind G set up. “Please, I need to know.” Matty almost begged. “Can you tell me what you know?”

“Mate, you know I can’t tell you- “ George turned around on his chair. 

“So, she’s…mom’s right- Fuck!” Matty said more for himself, resting his entire body on the couch. 

“What’s going on? Why is making you so anxious?” G asked, with a patience he only had for Matty.

“I- I’m not in a good place right now…everything is- I don’t even know what to say.” Matty chuckled dryly.

“What do you mean?”

“George.“ he hissed.

“C’mon…say it.”

“I’m not ready to talk about this. I can’t- “

“This has something to do about the same feelings you had a while back?”

“Yes.”

“I know.”

George let the silence linger for a second, feeling like a pause between topics. 

“And Nadia?” the drummer asked.

“I don’t know.” Matty closed his eyes, cringing.

“Matty- “ G said in a worried tone.

“I know, okay? I’m going to talk to her…”

“Okay, it’s not going to be nice- “

“Believe me, I know.”

“I think it’s the best.”

“Yes.”

“And… Matty?”

“Yeah?”

George got serious after stating clearly, “You can’t say this to Y/n.“

“I know that too.” Matty responded defeated, hitting his forehead with the palm of his hands rhythmically.

“Mate- “

“I have things to figure it out, but I’m okay.” Matty lied to G and to himself.

G knew he was far from that state, but he wasn’t to push Matty more during that moment. “Okay…” 

“I’ve to go now.” Matty exited the room as fast as he came in.

G moved his face from side to side, praying silently that none of his best friend got hurt after all. 

………………………………………………

A week later

End of March

“What else could go wrong in this story?” Hann thought on the flight from LA to New York. He had no idea what he somehow manifested to happen after that without even knowing.

The first few days were fine, but when the fifth came everything changed. Hann and Matty didn’t talk much, they were still in this particular position since they had the talk. Hann decided to leave Matty alone for a while, but keeping his eyes close in case something happened. 

Strangely, Hann was left alone in the posh studio while the rest of the guys, the producer, and people he couldn’t retain their names even five minutes after meeting went out to get food. It would be easier ordering from an app or something even though all of them needed a break. 

The line connecting the front desk with the private area they had been working in rang startling Adam out of the zone. He left his guitar to the side, running to answer the thing.

The guitarist cleared his throat before asking, “Yeah?”

“Hello, I have a woman here that says he knows you.” the woman’s voice was tinted with suspiciousness. 

“Name?” 

Adam waited for longer than expected, listening quietly while the woman at the front desk asked the other person waiting.

“Nadia Parton.” she finally gave Adam a name.

‘Shit, what was she doing there?’

The receptionist did a strange sound urging Adam to inform her what he wanted to do with Nadia.  “Do you know her?” Hann rolled his eyes at the question and her urgency when she took longer than him asking Nadia only her name.

“Yes, I do. Let her pass, please.” he was short and polite, although he didn't give her much information. 

Adam hang up begging for a moment of peace that didn’t arrive.

…………………………………………….

Matty entered the room first, agitated as well since he played a bet with George that we would get up there before them and proceed to run upstairs. The run didn’t take his breath as much as witnessing Nadia talking calmly with Hann. 

Nadia was there.

To say that Matty didn’t expect her was to highlight the obvious. Matty had been trying to push the conversation as far as he could, and she was there, three meters away from him. He believed he had more time. The universe works differently.

“Hi, baby.” she approached him excited. “Surprise!” Nadia said while hugging him. Matty didn’t know what to do really. He hugged her back and looked at his best friend. Adam moved his shoulder as a sign he knew nothing about this, he even didn’t dear to ask the girl in the half hour they shared.

“I wasn’t expecting you…” the words fell from his mouth.

Nadia took a step back still with her arms around his neck. “That was my intention. I wanted to surprise you, as you did for our anniversary.” she said sweetly. Matty felt a little bit more miserable with each word she dropped. 

“Oh, right. I forgot some special occasion?” he inquired, lost.

She gifted him a big smile. “No, silly! I was missing you so much.” Nadia said, leaving a peak on his lips. A move that made Hann much more uncomfortable, sitting there just watching the scene as in a film. The studio’s phone rang once more, and he hadn’t been happier to hear that sound in his life. 

Adam spoke with the secretary once more informing him that Jack was in his way up.  

After he hung up, Adam tried to gain his friend’s attention at the same time he heard the guys approaching the studio. 

“Matty.“ he said between his bandmate’s name and a cough, getting the attention of the couple, not only Matty’s.

The frontman looked at him for a second time in only minutes, “What?” his face expressionless. 

“Jack is coming, and I think I hear the guys in the kitchen. ” Matty looked at him as if a second hand were growing beside the one holding the phone.

“Alright?”

Adam didn’t dare to look at Nadia. It wasn't rare that friends or family stay during the record sessions, but he was aware that Matty didn’t want her there right at that moment. Hann was trying to gain time and Matty wasn’t taking the hint.

Something must’ve clicked inside the singer’s brain because he continued saying, “Ah- Yes…I mean, top secret.” Matty moved far from Nadia’s embrace one because they were blocking the door and two because he was feeling guilty receiving so much caring he couldn't reciprocate. “Nad, would you give us a time alone? We won’t be long…just Jack checking some stuff about this-”

“Yes, yes…I knew I’ll have to when I planned the surprise.” she said, walking towards him. Matty couldn’t help feeling cornered, although he let her kiss him shortly before heading out of the studio.

When she was out of sight, and they were sure she wasn’t listening, Matty dared to ask, “Did you-?”

“Tell her something? Hell, no!” Hann said.

“Alright, alright…good.” Matty said, under his breath, passing around.

Neither of them continued the conversations. Adam looked how Matty walking in circles before turning around with his eye full of certainty. 

“What?”

“I- “ Matty mumbled the words making it impossible for Adam to hear.

“Come again?”

Matty stood in the middle of the studio, opening his chest, “I’m going to break up with her.” Matty admitted and Adam doubt it.

“Right now?”

The singer chew on his upper lip, “It wasn’t in my plans she was going to- “

“Yeah, I can tell.” Hann said sarcastically.

“This is not funny!” Matty looked at him with a stern look.

“Yes, sorry. And then…?”

“I can’t focus on that now. I have to work”

“Yes, you have to.” neither of them knew if he was speaking about work or something else.

Adam grabbed the collar of his forgotten guitar, leaving his friend with his own thoughts. 

……………………………………………….

Few hours later

Nadia wasn’t an idiot. She knew from a long time up to that moment the fact that Matty was dealing with something. She was confused though. Matty kept sending her way a lot of mixed signals. One day, she was everything to him, he followed her around, being the attended boyfriend or travelling for their anniversary, even though the next day, he was cold and doesn’t seem happy to see her in NY.

She continued dismissing it, thinking it was part of being with a rock star, or ‘Matty is Matty’, or ‘the album is stressing him’; everything instead of thinking he didn’t want her any more. 

The woman was deeply in love with him, Nadia was sure of that. She was head over heels for him. But, was he? ‘Yes’. Why would he be with her if he wasn’t? Matty wasn’t that type of guy, and Matty had shown her that he loved her. Still, something was wrong. Nadia didn’t want to think about it. She was happy with him. Matty was everything she sought in a man. She could deal with this bad moment of their relationship because it would past…or she wanted to think.

After they wrapped for the day, Matty and the rest of the group returned to the hotel. Matty was drained, very tired, so he decided to wait for the next day to talk with Nadia. That’s why she stayed with him in his hotel room, and he was in peace with his thoughts for just a moment.

“Finally, alone.” she said, smiling at him.

“Yeah. I’m going to take a shower.” he said, going to his suitcase.

“Can I join you?” Nadia said cheekily.

“Nad, I’m not in the mood.” he responded, searching for his clothes.

“Oh, okay…” she said feeling slightly embarrassed. “I’m going to call room service, what do you want to eat?”

“I’m not hungry.” Matty replied without looking at her, meanwhile he stood up walking slowly towards the bathroom.

Nadia left the phone on the side table, turning her body to face her boyfriend. Before Matty closed the door behind him, she exclaimed, “Fine, what’s going on?” 

“What?” he didn’t turn around.

“Matty.“

The singer quickly got defensive, “I’m not hungry that’s all.”

“I’m not talking about the food and you know that.” she kept glancing at him. She could tell he was nervous, his back muscles were tight.

“I don’t- “

Nadia left the comfort of the mattress, standing in the middle of the room. “I know you, tell me what is going on.” with a courage she didn’t feel, Nadia approached him, placing a hand on his back and sensing Matty got stiff felt like a dagger ripping her heart.

“I’m knackered, okay? Can we not do this right now? “

“I’m tired of this, Matty. I need you to speak to me if you are going through something. We’re a couple!” she let her hand dropped to her side.

“I- “

Nadia felt desperate. “Please, tell me!”

“Okay.” he turned around. “Please, take a seat.” she obeyed, returning to her previous position.

“I wasn’t expecting you to show up- “ he started to say.

She couldn’t stay silent, her anxiety making her interrupt his rambling, “That’s everything? Me surprising you?”

“Please, let me finish.” Matty scrubbed his eyes. 

“I’m sorry.”

“I didn’t expect you to show up in fuckin’ New York, at the studio. I was waiting to fly back home and talk with you properly.” Matty continued, starting to gain power on his words. “I know my behaviour during the last months weren’t the best- In fact, they were the worst. I’m being a horrible boyfriend, and you don’t deserve this. Don’t- “ Matty stopped Nadia with a signal of his hand when she moved and before a single word fell from her lips. “Please, let me finish. I wasn’t expecting you, but when you showed I decided the best would be talking tomorrow when I’ll be more awake than now. I guess this can’t wait any longer. I know this is going to hurt you, and me too. You’ll hate me for this- “

“You’re scaring me, Matty.” Nadia said worriedly.

“I- I’m struggling a lot with myself. And I don’t think you should…you have to deal with it too.”

Nadia’s eyes stung with tears.“What are you suggesting?” 

“I think we should break up.” ‘I said it, I finally did it’, Matty thought.

“What?” she asked surprised. “If it’s because I didn’t tell you or any of the guys that I was thinking on coming- I’m so sorry.” Nadia tried explaining quickly.

“That’s not why.”

“Then what? You don’t love me?”

“I- I do love you.”

“Then?” she moved on the bed anxiously.

“I love you, but there are things I can’t tell you that I’m dealing with…and you don’t deserve this.”

“There’s someone else?” Nadia hatred herself for asking that. She sounded so cliché.

“It’s not- It’s not exactly about that- “ he said sitting on the bed, reaching for her hand.

“Then what?” she asked again, looking down.

“I can’t- “

“Don’t you trust me?” she inquired, this time crying. She wanted to seem strong, she couldn’t.

“I do. I do. This is- I can’t even think about it without going insane.” he admitted.

They stay for a moment in complete silence. Both of them were hurt. Nadia’s heart was shattered in hundreds of pieces. Matty suffered watching her in that state. Fully knowing that he caused it.

“I’m so sorry.” Matty said verily out loud.

Nadia chocked on a sob, saying, “I love you, Matty.”

“I love you too, Nad.” he reached for her cheek, while she continued crying. “Please, don’t hate me. I mean, I understand if you want to punch me or kick me in the nuts.” she chuckled. “Please know that I’m doing this because you deserve so much better.”

“I don’t know.”

“I know it. It seems like the most horrible excuse, but I mean it. You’re an incredible person, women, and you deserve someone that loves you and treat you better than I do.” Matty admitted.

“I want you…”

“I know- “ Matty sadly said.

After a while Nadia tried to dry the tears that never stopped falling. She told Matty, “I better go.” 

“You can stay till tomorrow.” He offered.

“I preferred not to.” she took out her hand from Matty’s grip. 

“I’m so sorry.” Matty apologized again, staring at her form while she moved around the bed grabbing her stuff.

“I’m too. I wish you the best, Matty.” 

“I don’t deserve it.”

Nadia titled her head, staring for a last time into his soft brown eyes, “You do. I hate you right now, and I don’t want to see you for a while.” she stated, meanwhile Matty answered with a nod. “Don’t reach for me when you are sad, well, you stop doing that a couple of months ago. I don’t understand why this happened but above all, I love you and I know you’re a good guy. You gave me a lot of beautiful moments to remember, you’re a kind soul. I know I don’t deserve this, although you have to know that I stay because you're worth the wait…and if you tell me there is a little part of you that wants me to wait I’ll probably wait. I know you don’t have that part.” she said when Matty opened his mouth to speak. “It hurts so..so much, because I know, I’m sure, that in your own way you love me, you said it too. Sadly, not as much I love you. Because I love you fully. When I love I do it that way.” Nadia stopped and dried her tears once more. “For all we shared and how much I cherish you…I wish you the best. Goodbye, Matty.” she finally said, turning around, graving her suitcase and then left the room.

When the click of the door made a loud noise in the silent room, Matty started to cry. He hurt one of the most important people in his life. Nadia was gone. Matty knew it was the best, and he also knew it was going to hurt. Not that much. He couldn’t complain though.

She didn’t shout, Nadia didn’t even raise her voice. Which, made it more difficult to deal with. Sometimes, it is easier to hate the other and shout. Not the best, or healthiest, just easier. That time was the opposite

Why does he keep hurting the people that love him deeply?

………………………………………………..

The next morning Hann found an obviously tired Matty. The guitarist wasn’t sure if he wanted to ask or not. Something clearly happened, the singer’s face showed it.

They had a free day, luckily for everybody. A couple of days ago, they decided to be the typical tourist and walk around town. Matty wasn’t in the mood for that even though it might help.

Adam knocked on Matty’s door two hours before the activity started. The frontman took his time to prepare even though he ended up showing with a simple shirt and jeans combo. Hann was expecting to encounter Nadia, but she was nowhere to be found. That gave him the first hint. He also remembers what Matty told him the day before. He wasn’t expecting his friend to be so quick about it. Although, he couldn’t assume anything. Adam didn’t want to. He was going to wait for Matty to come around and speak about it.

They stayed in silence for a good amount of time. Matty plopped himself on the bed and rest his head on his hands after opening the room’s door for his friend.

“Nadia left.” he informed Adam when the eyes of the guitarist scanned the room.

“When?”

“Last night.”

“Mhm.” Hann only dared to express. 

“We- I broke up with her.” Matty looked at his best friend, waiting for a reaction.

Adam showed nothing, “Okay.” 

“It was the correct thing…right?” he hesitated.

“I’m not going to tell you what it’s or what it isn’t right, Matty.” Adam clarified. 

“Damn it!” Matty projected himself out of the bed.

“Take it easy, mate.” the guitarist said with a calm Matty envied. 

“How? I mean, HOW? She hates me now. I’m an asshole!”

“Okay, no. Yes, you did pretty fuck up things…although you can’t beat yourself up like at. Everybody makes mistakes, you’re trying to solve them. Focus on that. It’s not nice, because you realize big things, feelings and I understand you’re hurt- “

“I can’t make myself the victim. I know.”

“No, you can’t. Although this is not a Disney film, there’s not a good guy and a bad one.”

“Yes, you’re right.” Matty let a big breath out. “What I do now? I broke up with Nadia, and Y/n is…” the singer started to tell him, and then stop.

“Y/n what?”

“Nothin’.” Matty muttered.

“Oh, no. You’re going to tell me.” the frontman was satisfied with Adam’s nervousness. 

“Don’t you know?” Matty inquired. 

“About what?”

“Y/n is in a relationship.” just saying the words hurt as if someone was ripping his heart out of his body.

“Oh, shit. Did she tell you?”

“No, mom did.”

“Your mother told you?!” 

“And then George quite of confirmed it.”

“Fuckin’ hell.”

“Yeah, exactly. I hate my life right now.”

“Don’t..”

“Let me be miserable for a minute, okay?”

“No.”

“Please.” Matty begged without caring.

“No.”

“Hann!”

“You said it…you’re not the victim. Suck it up, mate!”

Matty scoffed, “Very kind of you.”

“I’m trying to help!”

“Well, you’re not helping…at all.” Matty snapped at him. And quickly regretted it. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” the frontman took a sit on the bed once more and Adam copied him. 

“I understand.”

“Why didn’t she tell me? Or you? Instead, she told George and mom…”

“I don’t know.” Hann lied. He perfectly knew why. He wasn’t even hurt. Hann knew the reasons why Y/n tend to skip talking to him about this stuff. He couldn’t tell Matty though, it wasn’t his thing to tell.

“Should I call her?”

“What? Are you insane?” Adam exclaimed.

“Fine. Yeah, I’m not going to…” Matty hesitated even when the urge to do it was big.

“Please promise me you’ll not.” Hann begged, massaging the bridge of his nose.

“I promise.” No matter how hard it will be, Matty had to stop hurting the people he loved. The first one was Y/n. Somehow, he hurt her. He doesn’t understand why quite well, but he knew it. He can ask her about how was she doing and all of that, although if she didn’t want to tell him about Tom…he had to stay out of that.

Matty had to focus on work again and work only. When he returned home in a month or so he could think what to do. For the time being, he had to fix himself and stay out of more problems.

————————————————————————————–

On the other side of the ocean

Spring was one of her favourite seasons. Y/n loved all of it. From the flowers starting to blossom to the mild temperatures and all in the middle it was a lovely season. Or maybe this year she was looking at it with other eyes.

The woman was happy beyond the imagination. Finally, after many months she was in fact and without a doubt happy. She longed for that moment and now she had it. The positivity she irradiated was amazing. Y/n was giving so much, and the universe responded or herself in a state of pure happiness wanted to believe that.

Y/n was euphoric for all the work she had done in the previously few months with herself, how much she grew. She took a step aside from the horrible place where she was, Y/n took a place aside from being the cliché girl in love with her best friend. But it wasn’t all her merit, she had a big helper. She had a handsome helper: Tom.

Y/n never felt what she felt with Tom.

Tom was everything she ever dreamed of: he was always attentive with her, but not overwhelming her, he understood her reserves and didn’t complain; they talked about everything and nothing, every conversation was perfect. Sometimes, they fought about their strong beliefs, but they also end up kissing and hugging. Y/n was happy with Tom.

She didn’t tell Tom about Matty. Y/n didn’t see why. She wasn’t thinking about that as well. Tom and her talked by text and she was okay with that. After all, he was her friend, and she promised not to disappear. She still had affection for him of course.

Anyway, Y/n was living in a dream. Work was going well, she was kind of sad because they had only one week left of filming, and then she would be back home. This time with Tom. They talked about it fully, feeling extremely happy that both of them were in the same page about continuing dating. Tom lived closer to the centre of London, and she was only 20 minutes away by car from there. They could make it work out.

Since they were in the last week of shooting, Y/n had a lot of work in hand. They had to leave everything perfectly done, and she had pressure about helping Lily accomplish all of what was expected from her.

“Please, could you leave those papers and hung out with me?” Lily begged, sitting in her trailer’s couch.

“You know I really want that, but I can’t.” Y/n continue going through the schedule.

“Agh!” Lily scoffed. “You’re not fun any more.”

Y/n rolled her eyes at her, “We see each other every day! Don’t overreact.”

“That’s exactly why…we have only a handful of days to be together and then- “

“And then, we’ll see each other as well.” Y/n turned around, looking at her.

“You’ll be so busy with your prince charming!”

“Omg, don’t call him that!”

“Being all happy and loving each other.” Lily continued with her rant, making weird sounds that tried to emulate kissing.

“You’re impossible.” Y/n returned to her papers.

“Talking about Romeo!” Lily exclaimed. Y/n didn’t understand until she heard a voice.

“Were you talking about me? I’m flattered.” Tom looked at Y/n, approaching her and the woman couldn’t help noticing her stomach sprung to life with excitement. 

“She was talking about you.” Lily pointed like a little girl.

“Oh, really?” Tom crocked an eyebrow while placing his arms around Y/n.

“Yes, about how she’s going to ignore me- like right now- and be all lovely jolly with you.” 

“I don’t want to brag but- I’m pretty cool so- “ Tom joked. Leaving a kiss at the back of Y/n’s head.

“Oh, you shut up!” Lily said standing up. “I’m going to leave you two to it…” and then she left without waiting for an answer.

“Lily!” Y/n exclaimed, shaking her head disappointed but laughing before turning to face Tom. “Hi”

“Hi.”  Tom looked down at her eyes. His height always amused her, Y/n felt secured with him being so tall, she didn’t know exactly with, but she did.

“Did you need something?” she inquired, placing her hands on his chest.

“Yes.”

“Oh, what?”

“You.”

“Cheesy, way too cheesy, Tom.” she laughed.

“It’s the truth.” he replied, kneeling down to meet her lips. 

…………………………………………………

Sad day, last day

The last day of shooting and the day before that one with the big wrap party, Y/n felt really emotional. This production gave her more than she could ever ask for: a lot of experience and work, of course, but also friendships and a lovely boy. She was more than grateful with it.

Y/n was leaving that day with Tom and Lily. He brought his stuff a couple of days before so when they had to leave, they went straight from the Airbnb that Lily and Y/n shared towards the airport. It was more practical and that let Tom and Y/n spend nights together.

Y/n woke pretty early sensing the warmth that Tom’s body spread. Her head was in his chest, and his arms were around her form. She let a sigh out in pure bliss. Tom moved a little, waking up as well.

“Morning.” he said in a raspy voice.

“Morning.” she smiled, propping herself up staring down at him. “How did you sleep?”

“Like a baby. After that intense activity- “

“Tom! Stop that!” she whined.

“Okay, okay. Now you’re shy but last night- “

“Omg, shh!” she shushed him, trying to leave his side.

“No, come back here.” he begged.

“Such a baby.” she teased.

“Thanks.” he answered laughing after she was only centimetres away from his face. “I need my morning kiss, y’know.”

“Oh, really? I don’t know.” she played dumb.

“Please? I’ll stop saying how hot last night was.” he chuckled.

“Exactly, no. You lost your opportunity.” she tried to stand up, but quickly Tom pulled her into the mattress.

“Why so shy so suddenly, darling?” Tom asked. The nickname made her think about Matty, making her instantly felt bad. Now she was fully aware they were coming home. “Hey.” he tried to get her attention when Y/n’s sight fell elsewhere, lost. “If it’s so bad to kiss me and think about us having- “

“Stop!” she placed her hands on his mouth, laughing at the same time. “I just- I don’t want to get back home.”

“Why?”

Her hands found his curls quickly, “I’m not going to see you every day.”

“And then I’m clingy?” he inquired, leaning down to caress her throat with his nose, taking her in.

“Oh, forget it!”

“No. I’m sad about that too, believe me. But, we don’t live that far from each other.”

“I know, but…”

“Stop with the but’s. I want my kiss.” he said, reaching her face to finally kissed her.

Tom’s kisses were like no other ones in her life. Y/n didn’t kiss many boys but she was sure none of them kissed like him. He made her feel inexplicable feelings. He was tender and kind, but hot and torrid at the same time. Tom treated her as if Y/n was made of porcelain, with so much love and caring. She was getting addicted to him.

Tom was like her favourite season. Tom felt like spring. 

………………………..

After the three of them left for the airport, Tom acknowledged quickly how clingy Y/n was being. In fact, he was making most of it because she was rarely like that around other people. Neither of them was. He kept her close. Hugging her or taking her hand. Subtle forms of ‘I’m here, we’re okay’. Y/n was glad he noticed. It amazed her how well he understood her when they had only known each other for nearly 10 months. He was going to miss him, no matter if he was close, and they already had plans to meet in London.

Y/n was trying to avoid overthinking her behaviour. She succeeded until they took the plane home, and Tom fell asleep. 

For a while, she admired his face and features. She didn’t want to appear creepy, so she turned her sight to the clouds. The sky was almost black. She could still picture the lights of the city, of Ireland. Then, the sea came into her view. Y/n always felt a big connection with the water no matter how much she loved the earth, the land. There was something so deep and meaningful about water that amazed her. Maybe, it was the fact that you can reflect yourself on water. At that moment she couldn’t picture her figure from so afar even though the colour and the depends on the Irish Sea made her look inside herself.

The inner talk was something she avoided a little since her relationship with Tom started. On the other hand, you can’t stop yourself from thinking. You have to, if you don’t talk with yourself how would you know what you want and what you have to do to get better?

Y/n felt that she failed to herself in that part. Yes, she wanted to be happy. She was happy. But she repeated something she acknowledges a way back. She avoided Matty. Well, she didn’t, they talked even though she avoided her feelings or not feelings for him. She avoided thinking about which position she was in about him. And that was a little bit wrong. Not because she was happy with Tom she could keep avoiding her problems, avoid Matty. 

Y/n wanted to solve her situation. She wanted to get back to her friendship with Matty as it was. Without knowing, she drifted more apart after she repeated that to herself.

She didn’t tell her best friend about the amazing relationship she was in now. Of course, Y/n had her reasons. Although, if she wanted to get back to be just friends…didn’t friend tell each other things like this? Matty told her about him and Nadia back then.

She wanted to tell him, but after two months or so Y/n wanted to do it in person. Matty was in New York at the moment, which made that quite difficult. Maybe when he returned. She knew he would get angry, that’s why she wanted to somehow explain it to him. She would have to lie a little bit longer…for the last time. 

Y/n had to admit to herself, she missed him. She missed the whole gang. She missed her English family. That was why she was also happy to be back. Not everything was awful.

Y/n came back to real life once the plane started the descended and Tom woke up. She tried to enjoy those last minutes. Yeah, she knew she was kind of overreacting, but she couldn’t avoid it. As well as oceans, she was restless…to many feelings. As well as oceans, she was going to settle. The calm was here. Or that was what she liked to think.

………………………………….

Two weeks after

Two more weeks went by during which Matty was still unhappy and troubled. That time not only due to Y/n and his feelings, this time because of the coronavirus. They had to return home. Sadly, the cases were rasing in so little time, that the government was closing down everything again.

For the album, Matty wasn’t preoccupied because with the rumours of this happening they managed to do most of the works left, and they wrapped a day before the announcement. And they could always continue from home. 

Staying in New York was an option, although they had been gone for a long while. George was missing his girlfriend, Adam his child, Ross his family and Matty the comfort of home. They preferred to return home. Back in England, the situation wasn’t bad but also not good. The government was considering closing everything again, they didn’t have news about it.

A part of Matty wasn’t sure if he wanted to get back. Part of him wanted, he missed his family, his shared house with the boys, and everything. Another part, didn’t want to get back though. Too many things to deal with. Being out of the country, wherever work took him, he was available to stay far from his normal problems, or he had that illusion. 

Anyway, coming home was exhausting. More during the corona time. Having to use the face mask and all the protocols. He wasn’t complaining, he supports taking care of the rest and his wealth. It just adds a lot on his shoulders and made him more tired.

Once he returned, Matty spent a lot of time inside his room playing games or writing, he even went on a walk with Denise for a short time. 

He knew Y/n was also back home, and she sometimes met up with George and the rest. Although, he wasn’t ready to see her. They still talk by message, they avoid the topic. Even when Y/n knew very well he was at home, she mentioned nothing. She didn’t want to push him, and at the same time, she was spending time in London for a good amount of time with Tom.

So, yeah, Matty wasn’t ready for what life, the universe or God had under her/his sleeve this time.

……………………………….

Sunny Sunday

A week prior to the dinner, Denise started begging and bugging him to get all together. She said, ‘let’s share a nice meal at this place closer to you guys now that we’re allowed before everything closes again, Matty!’ and no matter how much he tried she won. The boys were excited to see new faces after weeks of only seeing each other working to get the record ready to publish.

Matty and Hann arrived at the restaurant first but they waited at the car park for the rest to arrive. They did minutes after.

“Hi, boys!” Denise said, very happily.

“Hi, mom.” Matty was the first greeting her.

“Hello.”

“Why so happy?” George inquired.

“Can’t I be happy for seein’ you handsome boys?” she asked, innocently.

“Mom…” Matty knew better.

“Okay, okay. I have a surprise for you all!”

Ross got all excited like a little kid during Christmas, “What?” 

“Patience, dear. We have to wait a little longer before it arrives. Well, it’s not a thing, is a person.” Denise’s smile was wide. 

“I’m not following.” Adam interrupted.

Louis interfered,  “Me neither. But, you get used to it.” and the rest chuckled.

“Wait and see. She is arriving!”

“Oh, she?” George inquired.

“Yes, she. Not whatever you’re thinking- I don’t want to- “

“Mom, could you just tell us!” Matty was growing anxious.

“Oh, she is here!!” Denise cheered so loud.

The whole family looked at how a very familiar car parked beside theirs. Shortly after, Y/n came out smiling nervously at them.

“Hi, guys.” she greeted the group.

Matty’s heart stopped beating right there.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Taglist: @hollybrislen @sinarainbows @eaglestar31 @sugarkane1001 @brittluvs1975

Chapter 7 >

[thatoneguy56fanfic]

Inspired by this awesome post I decided to try my own version!

Excerpts from The White Lotus Avatar Guide Book (Unofficial)

Or updated protocol concerning Avatar Korra.

1. Get used to the nicknames.

1.1. Avatar Korra does occasionally give multiple nicknames to the same person.

1.2. If you value your life, DO NOT ever call Chief Lin Beifong “Chief Cranky Pants”.

1.3. Avatar Korra is the only one allowed to call General Kuvira “General Eyebrows.”

1.4. Detective Mako asks that you no longer call him “Sharkbrows” no matter how much Avatar Korra does it.

1.5. Please only address Avatar Korra as “Korra”, “Avatar”, or “Avatar Korra” instead of whatever nicknames she tries giving herself.

1.6. No, we cannot address Avatar Korra as “The Most Badass Avatar Who Ever Lived.” Avatar Kyoshi still holds that title.

2. Please try to limit Naga’s treats to only per person.

2.1. Do not try to take away any of Naga’s toys/bones.

2.2. If you have recommendations on how to remove polar-bear-dog hair from clothes please contact the Grand Lotus.

2.3. Naga is permitted at least one hour of play time every day.

3. If you cannot find Avatar Korra search all nearby rooftops. Seaside cliffs and mountains are a good choice as well.

3.1. Checking Avatar Aang Memorial Island is also recommended.

3.2. If she still isn’t found, try asking Master Katara.

3.3. On further consideration, do not ask Master Katara. She can and will mislead you for amusement.

3.4. So will Meelo, Ikki, Rohan, and Jinora.

3.5. Detective Mako and Asami Sato will as well. Bolin most likely doesn’t know where she is, but will insist he does.

3.6. Naga is the best choice. She can track.

3.7. If Naga cannot be found either, contact Chief Tonraq or Senna. Or Master Tenzin.

3.8. If she still cannot be found, contact General Kuvira.

4. DO NOT GIVE AVATAR KORRA CATCUS JUICE.

4.1. Please do not challenge Avatar Korra with dares. She will do them.

4.2. Please do not participate in any drinking games with Avatar Korra. She will win.

4.3. DO NOT GIVE AVATAR KORRA CATCUS JUICE.

4.4. If Avatar Korra goes out in public while drunk, please contact her publicist. Master Tenzin has the number.

4.5. Drunk Avatar Korra can be persuaded to come home by mentioning Naga, or food.

4.6. If that fails call General Kuvira.

4.7. DO NOT GIVE AVATAR KORRA CATCUS JUICE.

4.8. On the rare chance that Avatar Korra gets her hands on cactus juice, please notify the local authorities. As well as General Kuvira, and the Avatar’s publicist.

4.9. After the last incident we’d like to remind everyone NOT to encourage drunk Avatar Korra to go streaking.

5. Under NO circumstances is Avatar Korra allowed to drive any vehicle.

5.1. President Zhu Li banned Avatar Korra from ever getting a driver’s license. Do not believe her if she tries to convince you otherwise.

5.2. Chief Lin Beifong herself promised to arrest anyone who helps Avatar Korra drive.

5.3. After the incident in Ba Sing Se, King Wu has permanently banned Korra from ever having a driver’s license.

5.4. Do not believe Asami Sato when she says she has “special permission” to teach Avatar Korra how to drive.

6. Do not try to interrupt Avatar Korra and Chief Tonraq while they’re listening to Pro-bending on the radio.

6.1. Please don’t encourage Avatar Korra to gamble on Pro-bending matches.

6.2. Please don’t encourage Chief Tonraq to gamble on Pro-bending matches.

7. For the last time, we are not allowed in Avatar Korra’s family home.

7.1. Please do not try to interrupt Avatar Korra’s time with her parents. It will not end well.

7.2. For the love of Agni, DO NOT try to interrupt Avatar Korra’s alone time with General Kuvira.

8. No, Avatar Korra will never stop saying “I’m the Avatar and you have to deal with it.”

8.1. Avatar Korra is also very fond of terrible puns and “dad” jokes.

8.2. Please do not tell Avatar Korra sex jokes. She’ll never stop repeating them.

8.3. Also don’t ask for sex stories unless you’re prepared to hear them.

9. The Avatar Fund is NOT to be used for Avatar Korra’s personal investments.

9.1. After the Varriwash incident, we’d like to remind everyone to carefully screen Avatar Korra’s mail for scams.

10. Avatar Korra would appreciate it if you didn’t mention her PTSD publicly.

10.1. Talking about Avatar Korra to ANY newspaper, radio show, or magazine will result in immediate termination.

[travelella]

A Red Panda at Memphis Zoo, Prentiss Place, Memphis, Tennessee, USA

Joshua J. Cotten

Conservation status: Endangered (Population decreasing) 

Scientific name: Ailurus fulgens

Mass: 8.2 – 14 lbs (Male), 6.6 – 13 lbs (Female)

Class: Mammalia

Domain: Eukaryota

Family: Ailuridae

Genus: Ailurus; F. Cuvier, 1825

The red panda, also known as the lesser panda, is a small mammal native to the eastern Himalayas and southwestern China.

The global red panda population has declined by 50% in 20 years and there may be as few as 2,500 remaining in the wild. Habitat loss is the #1 Threat. Rapid human population growth in the Eastern Himalayas is causing deforestation and the degradation and fragmentation of red panda habitat.

Red Panda Network

[diabolus1exmachina]

Borgward Isabella Coupé 

Has any automaker gone from oblivion to success and back again as quickly as Borgward? Mention the name today, and you're likely to get blank stares, or questions along the lines of "Borgward? Who made those?" It's hard to imagine any European posing that sort of question in 1955, when Borgward had risen from the post-war rubble to outsell all other German automakers but Volkswagen, or 1958, when the Bremen firm very nearly nipped Porsche for the German sports-car championship. And yet, by 1962, the company was gone, the victim of a tragic and avoidable series of circumstances.

The Isabella was a bull's-eye in the mid-priced sedan market segment. Volkswagens were less expensive, but smaller and less powerful. Mercedes-Benz's 180 sedan had the sophistication of an overhead cam, but no greater top speed, and cost 30 percent more than the Isabella's list price of 7,265 Deutsche Marks. Opel's Olympia Rekord couldn't touch its top speed, or its all-coil-sprung suspension; and BMW had nothing between the fantastically expensive "Baroque Angel" 501 and the Isetta-based 600 microcar. On top of it all, the press loved the car. By the end of 1954, more than 10,000 Isabellas had rolled out the factory gates.

The Isabella had thoroughly up-to-date underpinnings, with a coil spring at each corner, swing axles in the rear and A-arms up front. The engine, a pushrod four designed by Karl Ludwig Brandt, wrung 75hp from its 1,493cc, with its relatively high 8.2:1 compression ratio and good breathing. The intake manifold was entirely enclosed atop the engine, making for a tidy design that could have been mistaken for an OHC. So sound was the engine that, developed for racing, it powered Cooper-Borgwards to many Formula 2 victories in the Fifties. The Borgward RS, or Rennsport, became Porsche's nemesis in the hands of drivers like Stirling Moss, Jo Bonnier and Hans Herrmann.

If the Isabella had a flaw, it was that its development had been limited, and early cars suffered from weak engine bearings and front-end components. Competitors started a whispering campaign about "die Traumfrau mit der schmutzigen Unterwäsche," or "the dream girl with the dirty underwear," but Borgward, unfazed, worked with its suppliers to iron out the bugs, and no real harm was done to the model's reputation.

Just as with the Hansa 1500, new models were quickly spun off the Isabella. In 1955, Borgward launched convertible and station wagon versions, as well as a hot TS ("Touring Sport") model with a two-barrel carburetor that could top 90 MPH, leaving Porsche 1300s behind. As the decade wore on, new designs from its competitors and a softening economic situation led to declining sales, prompting Carl F. W. to add the most glamorous model yet to the Isabella lineup: the Coupé.

[hcguesstheauthormessageboard]

HCGTA2024 STATS AS OF JULY 4

THREE DAYS to the deadline, we now have 49 works in the collection, it's time for our favorite... STATS!!!

FANDOMS

Hermitcraft SMP (49) [+5]

3rd Life | Last Life SMP Series (5) [+1]

Empires SMP (2)

Minecraft (Video Game) (2)

Naruto (Anime & Manga) (1)

CHARACTERS - TOP TEN

Grian (15)

GoodTimesWithScar (15) [+1]

GeminiTay (11)

TangoTek (11) [+2]

PearlescentMoon (11) [+2]

EthosLab (10) [+1]

FalseSymmetry (10) [+1]

SmallishBeans (8)

Xisumavoid (8)

impulseSV (7)

RELATIONSHIPS - TOP TEN

Grian & GoodTimesWithScar (3)

FalseSymmetry & Rendog (2) [new!]

impulseSV & Skizzleman (2)

ZedaphPlays & TangoTek (2)

EthosLab/ZombieCleo (2)

Grian & PearlescentMoon (2)

GeminiTay & impulseSV & PearlescentMoon (2) [new!]

InTheLittleWood/ZombieCleo (2)

FalseSymmetry & FalseSymmetry (2) [new!]

No Romantic Relationships (1) [new!]

ADDITIONAL TAGS - TOP TEN

Hermitcraft Season 10 (6) [-1]

Hermitcraft Season 8 (5)

Horror (5) [+1]

Angst (4) [+1]

Hurt/Comfort (4) [+1]

Alternate Universe - Modern Setting (4) [new!]

Body Horror (4) [new!]

Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence (4) [new!]

Grief/Mourning (4)

Humour (3)

then! just for funsies, let's do ratings and warnings and categories :)

RATINGS

General Audiences (24) [+1]

Teen And Up Audiences (21) [+4]

Mature (2)

Not Rated (1)

Explicit (1)

WARNINGS

No Archive Warnings Apply (36) [+2]

Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings (8) [+2]

Graphic Depictions Of Violence (4) [+1]

Major Character Death (2)

CATEGORIES

Gen (38) [+4]

F/M (2)

M/M (2)

F/F (2)

Other (1)

on request, I will also be doing word count stats!!

37 fics are completed! that's about 75.5% of the total fics.

that leaves 7 incomplete, implying that at least 10 are multi-chaptered fics!

15 works are under 1k words, which is about 30.6% of the current total

26 works are between 1k and 5k, which is about 53.1% of the total

4 works are between 5k and 10k, which is about 8.2%

2 works are between 10k and 15k, which is about 4.1%

2 works are between 15k and 20k, which is 4.1% of the total

there is 1 work above 30k, and it is exactly 33,245 words long

[dailyanarchistposts]

F.8.2 What was the social context of the statement “laissez-faire?”

The honeymoon of interests between the early capitalists and autocratic kings did not last long. “This selfsame monarchy, which for weighty reasons sought to further the aims of commercial capital and was… itself aided in its development by capital, grew at last into a crippling obstacle to any further development of European industry.” [Rudolf Rocker, Nationalism and Culture, p. 117]

This is the social context of the expression “laissez-faire” — a system which has outgrown the supports that protected it in its early stages. Just as children eventually rebel against the protection and rules of their parents, so the capitalists rebelled against the over-bearing support of the absolutist state. Mercantilist policies favoured some industries and harmed the growth of others. The rules and regulations imposed upon those it did favour reduced the flexibility of capitalists to changing environments. As Rocker argues, “no matter how the absolutist state strove, in its own interest, to meet the demands of commerce, it still put on industry countless fetters which became gradually more and more oppressive … [it] became an unbearable burden … which paralysed all economic and social life.” [Op. Cit., p. 119] All in all, mercantilism became more of a hindrance than a help and so had to be replaced. With the growth of economic and social power by the capitalist class, this replacement was made easier. As Errico Malatesta notes:

“The development of production, the vast expansion of commerce, the immeasurable power assumed by money … have guaranteed this supremacy [of economic power over political power] to the capitalist class which, no longer content with enjoying the support of the government, demanded that government arise from its own ranks. A government which owed its origin to the right of conquest … though subject by existing circumstances to the capitalist class, went on maintaining a proud and contemptuous attitude towards its now wealthy former slaves, and had pretensions to independence of domination. That government was indeed the defender, the property owners’ gendarme, but the kind of gendarmes who think they are somebody, and behave in an arrogant manner towards the people they have to escort and defend, when they don’t rob or kill them at the next street corner; and the capitalist class got rid of it . .. and replac[ed] it by a government of its own choosing, at all times under its control and specifically organised to defend that class against any possible demands by the disinherited.” [Anarchy, pp. 22–3]

Malatesta here indicates the true meaning of “leave us alone,” or “laissez-faire.” The absolutist state (not “the state” per se) began to interfere with capitalists’ profit-making activities and authority, so they determined that it had to go — which the rising capitalist class did when they utilised such popular movements as the English, French and American revolutions. In such circumstances, when the state is not fully controlled by the capitalist class, then it makes perfect sense to oppose state intervention no matter how useful it may have been in the past — a state run by aristocratic and feudal landlords does not produce class legislation in quite the right form. That changes when members of the capitalist class hold state power and when the landlords start acting more like rural capitalists and, unsurprisingly, laissez-faire was quickly modified and then abandoned once capitalists could rely on a capitalist state to support and protect its economic power within society.

When capitalism had been rid of unwanted interference by the hostile use of state power by non-capitalist classes then laissez-faire had its utility (just as it has its utility today when attacking social welfare). Once this had been accomplished then state intervention in society was encouraged and applauded by capitalists. “It is ironic that the main protagonists of the State, in its political and administrative authority, were the middle-class Utilitarians, on the other side of whose Statist banner were inscribed the doctrines of economic Laissez Faire.” [E.P. Thompson, The Making of the English Working Class, p. 90] Capitalists simply wanted capitalist states to replace monarchical states, so that heads of government would follow state economic policies regarded by capitalists as beneficial to their class as a whole. And as development economist Lance Taylor argues:

“In the long run, there are no laissez-faire transitions to modern economic growth. The state has always intervened to create a capitalist class, and then it has to regulate the capitalist class, and then the state has to worry about being taken over by the capitalist class, but the state has always been there.” [quoted by Noam Chomsky, Year 501, p. 104]

In order to attack mercantilism, the early capitalists had to ignore the successful impact of its policies in developing industry and a “store of wealth” for future economic activity. As William Lazonick points out, “the political purpose of [Adam Smith’s] the Wealth of Nations was to attack the mercantilist institutions that the British economy had built up over the previous two hundred years. Yet in proposing institutional change, Smith lacked a dynamic historical analysis. In his attack on these institutions, Smith might have asked why the extent of the world market available to Britain in the late eighteenth century was so uniquely under British control. If Smith had asked this ‘big question,’ he might have been forced to grant credit for Britain’s extent of the world market to the very mercantilist institutions he was attacking.” Moreover, he “might have recognised the integral relation between economic and political power in the rise of Britain to international dominance.” Overall, ”[w]hat the British advocates of laissez-faire neglected to talk about was the role that a system of national power had played in creating conditions for Britain to embark on its dynamic development path … They did not bother to ask how Britain had attained th[e] position [of ‘workshop of the world’], while they conveniently ignored the on going system of national power — the British Empire — that … continued to support Britain’s position.” [Business Organisation and the Myth of the Market Economy, p. 2, p. 3 and p.5]

Similar comments are applicable to American supporters of laissez faire who fail to notice that the “traditional” American support for world-wide free trade is quite a recent phenomenon. It started only at the end of the Second World War (although, of course, within America military Keynesian policies were utilised). While American industry was developing, the state and capitalist class had no time for laissez-faire (see section F.8.5 for details). After it had grown strong, the United States began preaching laissez-faire to the rest of the world — and began to kid itself about its own history, believing its slogans about laissez-faire as the secret of its success. Yet like all other successful industrialisers, the state could aid capitalists directly and indirectly (via tariffs, land policy, repression of the labour movement, infrastructure subsidy and so on) and it would “leave them alone” to oppress and exploit workers, exploit consumers, build their industrial empires and so forth.

Takis Fotopoules indicates that the social forces at work in “freeing” the market did not represent a “natural” evolution towards freedom:

“Contrary to what liberals and Marxists assert, marketisation of the economy was not just an evolutionary process, following the expansion of trade under mercantilism … modern [i.e. capitalist] markets did not evolve out of local markets and/or markets for foreign goods … the nation-state, which was just emerging at the end of the Middle Ages, played a crucial role creating the conditions for the ‘nationalisation’ of the market … and … by freeing the market from effective social control.” [“The Nation-state and the Market”, pp. 37–80 Society and Nature, Vol. 2, No. 2, pp. 44–45]

The “freeing” of the market means freeing those who “own” most of the market (i.e. the wealthy elite) from “effective social control,” but the rest of society was not as lucky. Kropotkin makes a similar point: “While giving the capitalist any degree of free scope to amass his wealth at the expense of the helpless labourers, the government has nowhere and never … afforded the labourers the opportunity ‘to do as they pleased’.” [Anarchism, p. 182]

So, the expression “laissez-faire” dates from the period when capitalists were objecting to the restrictions that helped create them in the first place. It has little to do with freedom as such and far more to do with the needs of capitalist power and profits. It should also be remembered that at this time the state was run by the rich and for the rich. Elections, where they took place, involved the wealthiest of male property owners. This meant there were two aspects in the call for laissez-faire. On the one hand, by the elite to eliminate regulations and interventions they found burdensome and felt unnecessary as their social position was secure by their economic power (mercantilism evolved into capitalism proper when market power was usually sufficient to produce dependency and obedience as the working class had been successfully dispossessed from the land and the means of production). On the other, serious social reformers (like Adam Smith) who recognised that the costs of such elite inspired state regulations generally fell on working class people. The moral authority of the latter was used to bolster the desire of the former to maximise their wealth by imposing costs of others (workers, customers, society and the planet’s eco-system) with the state waiting in the wings to support them as and when required.

Unsurprising, working class people recognised the hypocrisy of this arrangement (even if most modern-day right-“libertarians” do not and provide their services justifying the actions and desires of repressive and exploitative oligarchs seeking monopolistic positions). They turned to political and social activism seeking to change a system which saw economic and political power reinforce each other. Some (like the Chartists and Marxists) argued for political reforms to generalise democracy into genuine one person, one vote. In this way, political liberty would be used to end the worse excesses of so-called “economic liberty” (i.e., capitalist privilege and power). Others (like mutualists) aimed at economic reforms which ensure that the capitalist class would be abolished by means of genuine economic freedom. Finally, most other anarchists argued that revolutionary change was required as the state and capitalism were so intertwined that both had to be ended at the same time. However, the struggle against state power always came from the general population. As Murray Bookchin argued, it is an error to depict this “revolutionary era and its democratic aspirations as ‘bourgeois,’ an imagery that makes capitalism a system more committed to freedom, or even ordinary civil liberties, than it was historically.” [From Urbanisation to Cities, p. 180f] While the capitalist class may have benefited from such popular movements as the English, American and French revolutions but these revolutions were not led, never mind started or fought, by the bourgeoisie.

Not much as changed as capitalists are today seeking maximum freedom from the state to ensure maximum authority over their wage slaves and society. The one essential form of support the “Libertarian” right wants the state (or “defence” firms) to provide capitalism is the enforcement of property rights — the right of property owners to “do as they like” on their own property, which can have obvious and extensive social impacts. What “libertarian” capitalists object to is attempts by others — workers, society as a whole, the state, etc. — to interfere with the authority of bosses. That this is just the defence of privilege and power (and not freedom) has been discussed in section B and elsewhere in section F, so we will not repeat ourselves here. Samuel Johnson once observed that “we hear the loudest yelps for liberty among the drivers of Negroes.” [quoted by Noam Chomsky, Year 501, p. 141] Our modern “libertarian” capitalist drivers of wage-slaves are yelping for exactly the same kind of “liberty.”

[photoncatcher]

Pebbles 2

Canon Powershot A470; 1/110; F/8.2; ISO 75; 6mm

11/08/2010

[heresylog]

do you have pokemon sleep?

No, I collected snippets of their privacy policy. I was very uncomfortable with them collecting this data about my sleep habits.

5. WHO WE MIGHT SHARE YOUR INFORMATION WITH

In connection with the purposes and on the lawful grounds described above, we will share your personal information when relevant with third parties such as:

(f) Ad network. Service providers that deliver information to you via ad network system regarding Pokémon's current or future products and services (Adjust KK, based in Japan, and its subcontractors, such as Adjust GmbH, Lease web Germany GmbH, Lease web Netherlands B.V., and Leaseweb USA, Inc., based in Germany, Netherlands, and USA).

(g) Other third parties (including professional advisers). Any other third parties (including legal or other advisors, regulatory authorities, courts, law enforcement agencies and government agencies) based in the UK, USA, Japan, and other countries/regions to enable us to enforce our legal rights, or to protect the rights, property, or safety of our employees, or where such disclosure may be permitted or required by law.

We, and others, use cookies, web beacons, device IDs, and other tracking mechanisms to ensure that you get the most out of our App. Cookies are small amounts of information in the form of text files which we store on the device you use to access our App. Cookies and other tracking mechanisms, such as device IDs, allow us and others, to monitor your use of the software, simplify your use of our App, and to help us and others associate the mobile devices you use, your activities across websites, and your browsers for advertising purposes.

7.2 Our website may contain content and links to other sites that are operated by third parties that may also operate cookies and other tracking mechanisms. We do not control these third-party sites or their tracking activities, and this Privacy Notice does not apply to them. Please consult the terms, conditions, and Privacy Notice of the relevant third-party site to find out how that site collects and uses vour information and to establish whether and for what purpose it uses cookies.

8. HOW WE LOOK AFTER YOUR INFORMATION AND HOW LONG WE KEEP IT FOR

8.1 We use appropriate technological and operational security measures to protect your information against unauthorized access or unlawful use.

8.2 We will retain your information for as long as is appropriate to provide you with the services that you have requested from us or for as long as we reasonably require to retain the information for our lawful business purposes.

[offbeat-manga-ships]

AMAYO NO TSUKI (雨夜の月)

The Moon on a Rainy Night / Kuzushiro

Ongoing, with 7 volumes

F/F; Girls Love, Shoujo Ai, Slice of Life, Drama + lgbt, queer & ambqueer, queer character, disabled character

SUMMARY: One day, while rushing to a piano lesson, a girl named Saki collides with someone on the street. As Saki collects herself, the stranger picks up the sheet music Saki dropped, hands it to Saki together with a band-aid, and continues on her way—all without saying a word. Saki is left wondering about the identity of the tall, lovely stranger, only to discover the next day that she is one of her classmates at her new high school. The girl’s name is Kanon, and though she is hearing impaired, she refuses any kind of support or “special treatment” from her teachers or classmates. Over the course of the year, Saki slowly grows closer to Kanon and begins to chip away at her cold exterior.

MAL score: 8.13 AL mean score: 82% MU average: 8.2

PERSONAL SCORE: undecided*

*currently unfinished; still ongoing

[proselfshipsafespace]

Oh my gosh? Ratting f/os?

Here's my boys. Thier from hetlaia or more specifically. 2ptalia which is an concept which got snatched into fannon

first image dude on the left looks like he can not let a fight go to save his life. like the black knight from that monty python movie

6.7/10

dude on the right looks quite dandy. i think itd be funny if i put his hair in pigtails

7.2/10

what a angry little guy he looks like he has hate in his heart. too much of it.

7.4/10

i literally thought this was that one guy from road to el dorado. idk man i just woke up LMAOOO

8.2/10 i like him

[recapitulation]

ok. mahler symphony tierlist

S: 2.1, 2.4, 2.5, 3.6, 5.2, 7.1, 10.1

A: 1.3, 1.4, 2.3, 3.1, 3.2, 3.3, 4.3, 4.4, 5.1, 5.4, 6.2, 7.2, 7.3, 8.2, 9.1, 9.4

B: 1.1, 1.2, 2.2, 3.4, 4.1, 4.2, 5.3, 5.5, 6.1, 6.3, 7.5, 9.2

C: 6.4, 7.4, 8.1, 9.3

D: 3.5

E:

F:

Some notes:

As you can see I've included symphonies 1-9 and 10.1 only.

This changes ALL THE TIME

I tried SO hard to pare down the S tier I know it doesn't look like it but I DID 🥴

Please please post your own I would love to see it. Goes for any composer really!!

AAAAAAUGHHGHHGHHHHHHH

[brandulox]

Forget Samsung: Xiaomi 14 Series Ready to Dethrone Galaxy S24 as King of Android

The Xiaomi 14 series has been officially unveiled in China, and it looks like it will be the Android flagship series to beat in 2023. The new Xiaomi 14 and Xiaomi 14 Pro come with improvements across the board, including bright displays, the latest Snapdragon 8 Gen 3 chipset, upgraded cameras, super-fast charging, and a titanium frame option for the Pro model. While we wait to get the Xiaomi 14 and Xiaomi 14 Pro in for full reviews, here is a preview of the key specs and features to expect from Xiaomi's latest flagships. We'll update this preview once we have the devices in hand and can provide more details from our hands-on testing. Xiaomi 14 Series Key Specs Xiaomi 14Xiaomi 14 ProSize, Weight152.8 x 71.5 x 8.2 mm, 188 g161.4 x 75.3 x 8.5 mm, 223 gDisplay6.36" OLED, 120Hz, 3,000 nits6.7" OLED, 120Hz, 3,000 nitsProcessorSnapdragon 8 Gen 3Snapdragon 8 Gen 3RAM, Storage8/256GB, 12/256GB, 12/512GB, 16/1TB LPDDR5X12/256GB, 16/512GB, 16/1TB LPDDR5XCameras50MP main (f/1.6), 50MP ultra-wide f/2.2, 50MP 3.2X telephoto f/2.0, 32MP front50MP main (f/1.42-4.0), 50MP ultra-wide f/2.2, 50MP 3.2X telephoto f/2.0, 32MP frontBattery4,610 mAh4,880 mAhCharging90W wired, 50W wireless120W wired, 50W wireless The highlights include the latest Snapdragon 8 Gen 3 chip, fast LPDDR5X RAM, bright 3,000 nit displays, and extremely fast charging speeds. The Pro model also introduces a variable aperture main camera and titanium frame option. We'll need to thoroughly test out these phones to see how all these specs translate to real-world performance and experience. Stay tuned for our full reviews! Xiaomi 14 Series Design The Xiaomi 14 series retains the premium design identity of the previous generation, with curved displays and backs, rectangular camera modules, and slim profiles. The Pro model introduces an eye-catching new titanium frame option. Both phones also utilize Xiaomi's new proprietary Ceramic Glass material on the front and back for added durability.

Xiaomi 14 Pro Color options include: - Xiaomi 14: Jade Green, Black, White, Pink - Xiaomi 14 Pro: Titanium, Black, White, Green

Xiaomi 14 Xiaomi 14 Series Cameras The Leica-tuned cameras on the Xiaomi 14 series bring some exciting upgrades. The main 50MP sensor on the Pro model features a variable f/1.4-f/4.0 aperture for more flexibility. The new 50MP ultrawide camera promises improved quality. The telephoto camera uses a floating lens element for better edge-to-edge sharpness. New AI tricks like eye tracking autofocus and Night OIS should also help boost photography. We look forward to putting these new camera systems through their paces.

Xiaomi 14 Series Software The latest Xiaomi 14 series introduces an exciting shift from MIUI to the new HyperOS. Running on Android 14 out of the box, HyperOS promises an improved user experience focused on four key areas: performance optimization, seamless connectivity, predictive intelligence, and robust security. While full details on HyperOS are yet to come, early reports suggest substantial AI and on-device neural processing. This enables advanced contextual awareness and personalization. Software support remains unconfirmed, but if last year's models are any indication, the Xiaomi 14 line should receive major OS updates for at least four years. Xiaomi 14 Series Availability The Xiaomi 14 and 14 Pro launched first in China, but global availability typically follows a couple months later. Pricing is also usually a bit lower for global markets. We expect the Xiaomi 14 series to compete head-to-head with the Galaxy S23 series in many regions later this year. The Xiaomi 14 in particular looks like excellent value if they can hit a competitive price point. In summary, the Xiaomi 14 and 14 Pro bring some exciting upgrades and look very promising on paper. We can't wait to get them in hand for full reviews. They have a good chance of being the top Android flagships of 2023 if their real-world performance lives up to the hype. Stay tuned for our detailed analysis. Read the full article