#Even though we said absolutely nothing about heterosexual relationships one way or the other

[ourladyoftheflytrap]

literally who are any of you people to decide that one decision is "the right decision" for every woman. If you go into a discussion assuming that You alone know what is the best path to a happy, healthy life for Everybody in the world then that is hubris. Everybody talks like they are so smart and have all the answers to everything and whenever someone disagrees with you then they are sensitive and antifeminist. At the end of the day yall have nothing of value to say and get your panties in a twist over anyone expressing an opinion that you disagree with and it's so obnoxious

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

I think part of the trouble with reading ML as a magical girl team is that it’s really written to be Marinette as the Lone Hero.

Sticking with Winx Club as an example (which I absolutely loved), even though Bloom was clearly the main character, the other girls got focus and attention and their own narratives unrelated to Bloom’s. Alya doesn’t have that; nearly the entirety of her scenes and focus are still for or related to Marinette’s story, which the writers have outright told us is always meant to come first.

As such, I think the more solid reading of ML is that it’s a poorly written superhero romcom that pretends to be a magical girl team, but only ends up offering crumbs. It’s why we’re shown the extra Miraculous and given a “core four/five,” only for it to be revealed that the new holders aren’t actually permanent team members. A decision I remember thinking at the time made absolutely no sense, but now in hindsight can be perfectly explained by how doing so would necessitate that attention/focus be taken from Marinette, which ML absolutely refuses to do.

In fact, I’d wager that’s the actual reason Chat Noir has a crush on Ladybug before Adrien falls for Marinette: it keeps his attention even as a hero focused on her. There’s plenty of salters who love to deride him for not focusing enough on the “job” and making LB pick up his “slack,” but that fits the show’s intentions perfectly. Chat can’t be written to (as) capable if LB is to shine. Hence why we had the whole Catwalker argument being nonsensically centered around “perfection.” 😭

(Post with the Winx club example for context.)

You're absolutely right. Miraculous is trying to be a loan hero show (or perhaps a serious hero and silly sidekick show) where Marinette is the only important character outside of the villains, a magical girl team show where female friendships are the most important relationships in the show, and a heterosexual rom-com all at the same time which leads to a ton of nonsense choices because those are three genres that really don't mix!

While I never outright said it, the post about rom-coms vs magical girl team shows was spawned by the fandom conflict over Alya's writing in the later seasons. I wanted to take a moment to point out why she keeps being given the roles that people expect Chat Noir to get and why both sides of that fandom conflict have very valid feelings given the way that the show is being written, so I didn't talk about the lone hero thing since that doesn't really play a part in Alya and Adrien's fight for narrative importance. If we're looking at Miraculous as a whole though, then it's 100% a piece of the puzzle when you're trying to figure out where the writing went wrong.

I've mentioned a couple of times that they're putting way too much on Marinette's shoulders. The main reason that I feel that way is because they also decided to give her a full team of heroes to work with which is deeply confusing. If they really wanted to go the Marinette-is-the-only-real-hero route, then we should have never gotten any additional heroes beyond Ladybug and Chat Noir. Keep Chat Noir as the comedy sidekick and let Ladybug use all of the other miraculous as powerups without ever handing them out.

After all, when it comes down to their actual role in the narrative, most of the team feels like nothing more than a powerup since they basically just do whatever Ladybug tells them to do. Outside of Viperion and Bunnyx, there's no reason why Ladybug can't just dual, triple, or quadruple wield. This is extra true because they took the time to tell us that Marinette is able to wield more miraculous than most people and then... never really did anything with that. Why have a line like this one from Kwamibuster if you're never going to have Marinette do more than the occasional dual wield?

Master Fu: No Miraculous owner in all of history has ever been mentally and physically strong enough to use that many Miraculous at the same time. Wayzz: Marinette truly is special, Master.

Switching from a team back to a duo would also fix the awkwardness of Adrien's writing as that really wasn't a problem back in season one. The hero who does all the cool stuff and their wacky comedy sidekick who keeps things fun is a classic setup for a reason!

[whatsjulietslastname]

expending on the mlm pricefield thing (and i’m not talking about double exposure anymore), i think if pricefield had been one of the first mlm pairing to be openly queer in video games history, it would’ve been way more of a big deal back when the game was released and years later. i also think little to no people would be debating whether their relationship is platonic or not, and people would’ve been way faster at jumping to the conclusion that you were homophobic if you thought they were.

historically, the most popular mlm pairings (i’m thinking johnlock, kirk and spock from star trek, merlin and arthur, all the h*rry p*tter and marvel gay ships) have a way bigger fanbase and are way less denied than the wlw ones (i’m thinking supercop, emma swan and regina mills, betty and veronica from riverdale etc). (for the record, i looked up “queerbaiting” to make this post and have examples, and found like a dozens of mlm pairings and always the same few wlw ones…) AND it is way more socially acceptable to say “those two women have a platonic relationship” whereas, if you do the same with johnlock, for instance, you WILL get an angry twenty paragraphs long reply about how there was nothing platonic about it (even though John Watson married a woman).

my point is not “he married a woman so he wasn’t queer” my point is, whenever one part of a wlw pairing has a boyfriend, or a man who she shows a glimpse of interest in (*cough cough* Warren Graham *cough cough*), it is IMMEDIATELY used as ‘evidence’ that this character cannot be queer since she can be in a heterosexual relationship — which is an argument that, again, you will practically never find directed at a gay ship. and, again, the few people who do use this argument against mlm pairings are called ‘homophobic’.

AGAIN, i am not saying that you cannot ship Warren and Max or are homophobic if you do, i’m saying that if Chloe and Max had been two guys, people would’ve been so focused on them, on Max’s diary’s entries, and the two possible kisses they can share onscreen, and the flirting and implications in their relationship, and Chloe’s obvious attraction to Max, that grahamfield would’ve had a way smaller fanbase — or no fanbase at all. and people would’ve absolutely disregarded the fact that you can make Max romance Warren (who is a girl in this scenario). they would’ve seen Warren’s nearly one-sided flirting, and would’ve immediately gone “she (Warren) is in love with him (Max) and he doesn’t give a fuck” (and the kiss in the Two Whales would’ve been collectively ignored by the entire fandom, as is Mary Watson, or Pepper Potts, or Tonks, or Ginny Weasley).

but BECAUSE Max and Chloe are girls, people are still debating whether she is even queer or not by saying “if i make her romance Warren she experiences no attraction towards Chloe and therefore is straight” which is false, because the attraction is HERE. all you, as a player, get to decide is whether or not Max acts on it. and no matter how much evidence there is that Max is indeed romantically interested in Chloe, you will NEVER convince those people, because to them, the moment a woman and a guy interact in a non-platonic way, this woman has to end up with said guy, no matter how queer-coded her relationship with another woman is.

and now that pricefield is broken up, people who would’ve been rioting if it had been guys are calling people who are rightfully upset ‘dramatic’. just try and imagine the reaction of the Sherlock fandom if Sherlock was returning without Watson because “they argued off-screen and decided to stop seeing each other”. those guys aren’t childhood best friends, are never romantically involved, their fandom hasn’t been begging to have a glimpse of them together for ten years, and yet i can’t even imagine how angry people would be. all this fandom was asking was to at least not destroy Max and Chloe’s friendship, and look where we are now.

[real-total-drama-takes]

mod courtney can u rank courtney ships? (Including rarepairs)

I did a while ago, but I’d happily do it again! I’m not sure how much my opinions have changed.

Courtney/Duncan - 10/10 I talked about this in my Duncan ship ranking. I love duncney. certified classic to me. They’re my Roman Empire. Courtney’s allowed to be unhinged with Duncan, and he’d never admit it, but he loves her for it. Their build-up feels so genuine. Ugh, I just. I’m going to die a duncney fan. Free me from this hell.

Courtney/Scott - 9/10 honestly I really like scottney but I think the main detriment is that it didn’t get enough time to develop. It easily could’ve been on par with duncney if only they got more TIME. Courtney’s crush on him felt like she genuinely liked him for HIM. Scott is a little evil and a little gross, but that’s okay. She likes that, actually. I think they could bring out the best in each other (like Duncney), but Scott is much less unashamed of his desire to be bossed around. He’s so unashamed that he’s smitten of her and completely lacks Duncan’s ego. It works really well for me.

Courtney/Gwen - 10/10 absolutely a yuri classic. I gotta say, Courtney and Gwen did have real chemistry in all stars. I get that gwourtney is kind of overblown in the fandom, but it really does work. Every time Courtney and gwen are friends, i think it feels like a REAL friendship. The way they banter, the way they gossip, etc. it feels very genuine. I really do love it. In another universe, I think gwourtney could be endgame. There is nothing heterosexual about the way they interact in all stars. Courtney is so sweet and kind to Gwen, and we rarely see her like that. I really do love gwourtney.

Courtney/Bridgette - 8/10 I LOVE BRIDGNEY. Bridgette might be courtney’s only real friend by the end of the series. I think Bridgette loves and cares for courtney despite all her faults, and that makes for a pretty good ship. I also think brigette could work as a foil for courtney— bridgette is kind and forgiving, which is something courtney lacks. And then bridgette sometimes struggles to stand up for herself, which courtney is VERY good at doing, lol. There’s so much potential here. More bridgney content please.

Courtney/Heather - 10/10 this might actually be my favorite courtney ship. I know I said that about duncney, and as far as nostalgia is concerned, yeah, I’m a duncney fan first. But heathney has really grown on me over the years. While bridgney involves courtney and bridgette learning and growing with each other, heathney is exactly the opposite. They’re both evil. But always correct. And that’s fine.

Courtney/Alejandro - 9/10 another sleeper hit for me. I think I do prefer aleheather as far as Alejandro ships are concerned, but i think he and courtney could really work. The end of TDWT was basically heather using Alejandro the way Alejandro used Courtney. There’s a really interesting dynamic there. Total Drama Cruise Control also won me over with this one. Even though they weren’t endgame, the relationship between alecourtney was SO. *chefs kiss*

Courtney/Jo - 10/10 TDCC what more do I need to say

I’ll do more if you guys send me them! I’m not aware of most crack ships, but I’m sure I could form an opinion of them lol

[gay-david-tennant]

@theredsky of course i will :) let's just preface it by saying that i'm not an expert in any way and this will probably amount to a aroace mad man's rambling but i will try to make it coherent...

First the definition part: Elizabeth Brake describes amatonormativity as "the widespread assumption that everyone is better off in an exclusive, romantic, long-term coupled relationship, and that everyone is seeking such a relationship." This of course also means putting romantic relationships/feelings on a higher pedestal than any other sort of relationship (see the absolutely dreadful phrase 'just friends'). Heteronormativity is the belief that heterosexuality is the norm and that sexual/romantic relationships are most fitting between man and woman. (Heteronormativity also implies a strict view of gender as a binary).

The one phrase that made me think of this all in the first place is "they would already be together if they were a man and a woman" which we all probably have heard at least once about a same-sex friendship in a story. And this describes the connection between amatonormativity and heteronormativity in media and queerbaiting pretty good. Because most of the time that isn't actually that far from the truth. But the reason why it's pretty accurate is not that the scenes between those friends are particularly romantic but that it takes almost next to nothing to establish a heterosexual romantic relationship in movies. The idea that a romantic relationship is the ultimate end goal and the prevailing heteronormativity is so present that sometimes man and woman just need to coexist on screen for a majority of the audience to see a good reason for them to get together. And, yes, there are tropes used to convey romantic attraction but i'd still wager that most of them could be as easily interpreted as platonic as they can be interpreted as romantic in nature. And, you know, i do get the argument mentioned above, mostly because even though the trope used may not be a particular strong indication of romantic attraction in real life it's a whole other thing in a movie. If a trope is used primarily in a romantic context in movies then it may not become inherently romantic but it becomes a good indicator that whoever was writing it was thinking of romance at that moment and wanted the audience to do the same.

A good example for that would be the 'person C remarks they thought character A and B were a couple. In real life this can mean anything from 'C is the most astute obsever ever' to 'C is a victim of amatonormativity and doesn't know shit'. It says something about what C thinks but nothing about the nature of A and B's relationship. They could be sworn enemies for all i care. In a movie however C's comment has a Reason and that reason is not only that C does think that but also that the writer wants the audience to at least entertain the thought of A and B being together. You wouldnt mention it if it wasnt something that the audience was supposed to see and think of. So if i take care to write a scene like this about two friends of the same sex (looking at you Sherlock) then i shouldn't be surprised that people pick up on that and assume romantic subtext. It's as valid an interpretation as seeing them as friends.

However it's still important to note that it's not the only interpretation. Although amatonormativity makes you believe that there are certain things only romantic partners do most thing are pretty ambiguous. The amatonormativity that was always there in media now directly contributes to amatonormativity in queer readings of said media. (not that there isn't plenty of other amatonormativity from other places going around like the focus on romantic relationships as queer representation). And i'd love for this amatonormativity to lessen but since when do we get what we wish for? 'Cause of course there was a way to make it worse and that's exactly what happened. Instead of accepting that there are queer readings of their work too many creators, no matter whether they intentionally queerbaited or not, tried to discredit those interpretation (greatly helped along by a generous helping of queerphobia behind as well as in front of the screen). Queer readings were called 'delusional' and people were mocked relentlessly. And what do people do when people very irrationally (once again there are always multiple interpretations) tell them they're wrong? They try to prove they're right with all their might. Which is the point at which people tried to argue that actually their interpretation was the only one that's right. Phrases like 'there's no platonic explanation for this' were born and are still used heavily. This is the amatonormativity in fandom i am talking about. Now in addition to the general amatonormativity (the one that puts romance above all else and is seen in the preference for queer romances as representation) there seem to be some people who think of queer romance as the only acceptable queer representatiom. I have, for example, seen people call the first season of Good Omens queerbaiting because Aziraphale and Crowley aren't in a romantic relationship while ignoring the actual queer representation that in it. Something can be queer without a romantic relationship and not shipping two characters together does not mean that one doesn't see them as queer in any way or that one is homophobic (which i've also seen people claim). All this does not benefit the LGBTQIA+ community! If actual queer representation like trans/intersex/genderqueer/aro/ace/etc. characters get ignored in favor of a ship which isn't even canon then that doesn't help to make queer characters more popular. It just helps the people who don't actually want to see it because they can say 'look, nobody is interested in this anyway'. This is not an attack on shipping btw. You have every right to ship characters all you like, it just shouldn't be the sole focus when it comes to queer representation and calling someone homophobic for not canonizing a ship when they have shown their support of the community again and again is absurd. I just wish that the attitude that one headcanon is the one and only true interpretation would stop. Stories are works of art that are meant to be interpreted and will have a different meaning for everyone and we shouldn't be fighting about which one is better but instead we should be fighting against people policing what the 'correct' interpretations are.

I hope this is in any way understandable and you are very welcome to add something to this. Thanks for coming to my ted talk :)

there is an essay about the connection between anatonormativity and heteronormativity in media, queerbaiting and amatonormativity in fandom forming in my head and anyone who asks (and probably anyone who doesn't) could be subjected to it

[kazz-brekker]

wait tell me more of your thoughts on interview with the vampire (1994), i'm intrigued

Okay SO, me and my friends watched the Interview with the Vampire TV show (I persuaded them by being like "I hear it is extremely good and also gay and also vampires and also dramatic unhinged gothic romance" and so dragged them on a journey that involved a lot more fake blood and levitating sex than we originally thought it would) and to cope with the stress of final exams we then later watched the 1994 movie. I think it was definitely an … interesting experience to have watched the show first and then the movie rather than the other way around.

So, thoughts on the movie. The movie is incredibly not heterosexual and yet still, somehow, not gay enough. Louis and Lestat are basically a married couple raising a daughter but the movie can't quite seem to commit to making them canonically a couple even though there are, like, scenes of Lestat lying on top of Louis whispering to him about how great it is to be turned into a vampire. There is a scene where Louis and Armand have an entire conversation with their faces approximately half an inch away from each other, there is basically no other way to interpret their relationship than gay, and yet they DON'T KISS. It's absolutely maddening.

Another weird thing is how … compressed the movie feels? I'm pretty sure I would think this even if I hadn't seen the TV show first, it's just really hard to fit 100+ years of plot into a 2 hour movie. Louis is turned into a vampire so quickly in the movie that I have absolutely no sense of why on earth Lestat is so obsessed with this guy that he HAS to turn him into a vampire and live with him for eternity. The whole Louis-Lestat-Claudia household drama also unfolds wildly fast (there's like, one scene with Lestat and Claudia having drama and then she kills him). The vampire theater in Paris is pretty fun (all vampires are secretly theater kids, this is a simple fact of the world) but it only gets introduced in the second half of the movie. It felt like there was so much to fit in the story that things didn't have time to breathe.

Every single act of this movie ends with arson, which is kind of iconic and I do have to support that.

Louis owns slaves in the movie. This is extremely bad and awful. It is never remotely portrayed to be as evil as it is and the whole thing is basically forgotten as soon as he and Lestat leave the plantation. I support the slaves for burning down his house. Yvette should have gotten to stake him and set him on fire.

Louis in this movie is just … sad and kind of whiny and drinks blood from rats. He almost feels like a Nick Carroway sort of character where he is a very boring guy narrating a story full of people much more interesting than him, except those interesting people (Lestat, Claudia, and Armand) are all totally obsessed with him. One of my friends said that Louis is the most boring character in the movie but everyone acts like he is the most interesting, which is 100% correct. Brad Pitt you are nothing compared to Jacob Anderson.

Lestat is fun though! Not as good as Sam Reid (who could be!) but he is at least entertaining to watch. At one point he dances with a corpse.

There are fun 18th and 19th century outfits. The coats and dresses in this movie are pretty cool and according to one of my friends at least somewhat historically accurate.

Claudia's actress was very good! Apparently Kirsten Dunst was only 10 when she filmed this movie which is nuts, she honestly acted circles around everyone else and did a great job pretending to be an adult stick in a child's body.

The interviewer in this movie is basically a non-entity and I had sort of forgotten he existed until he came back at the end. No interrogation of the narrative going on here!

The ending of the movie is quite obviously a sequel hook for a movie of The Vampire Lestat that never got made but is still kind of fun.

End verdict: not a horribly, irredeemably bad movie, I had a somewhat entertaining time watching it and I don't regret doing so, but the TV show really is light-years away from it. I am now EXTREMELY hyped to see Louis and Claudia go to Paris in season 2.

[therealvinelle]

Hi I love your meta, especially the one about Aro's brain and Aro/Carlisle! What do you think is Carlisle’s draw to Aro?

Glad you like it! And that’s a great question.

(This is the post anon is referring to.)

Alright, so we can all in this fandom agree that Aro is a fan of Carlisle’s, to the point where we just take it for granted. Aro loves Carlisle because he loves Carlisle. (Insert joke here)

However, I haven’t seen any posts addressing why Aro likes Carlisle so much in the first place, so here’s my attempt to explain.

Before I start listing my reasons, though, I should clarify one thing - I do not see Aro as a heterosexual man, nor as someone who sees his marriage to Sulpicia as a monogamous thing. I mean, you have a beautiful man from Mycenaean Greece form a close friendship with another beautiful man, commission artists to immortalize his beautiful friend, they live together for decades- I’m getting ahead of myself. Point is, I think Aro is gay.

(And yes, I know that everyone on this site already knows that, but I am orderly. Also, I’ve seen people post “Aro has a crush on Carlisle” like that’s a hot take)

So, Carlisle. What about him makes Aro think he’s so great?

Carlisle is hot even by vampire standards Frozen in his best age, tall, muscular, exotic eye color and with a hair color that has been considered desirable among many civilizations, the Ancient Greeks among them, Carlisle’s features would be considered ideal to a lot of people. More, he is so ridiculously beautiful that when Bella is awed by his beauty when she wakes up a vampire. The only other vampire to get that kind of reaction is Edward. Not even Rosalie, nor any of the Volturi or the guests who come in BD, get fawned over the way Bella fawns over Carlisle. So, Mr. Hottie walks into Volterra, and I think that even if he’d been a himbo who couldn’t read Aro would still have tapped that. He wouldn’t have been invited to stay for several decades, though.

Carlisle is smart Aro is a scholar who lives for knowledge, but finding someone who shares his interests is easier said than done. And even if he does find someone who likes arts and academics, they could still be an idiot. True intelligence is hard to come by. And then if he does find someone intelligent, what if they’re an ass? What if they’re boring? Carlisle is a very intelligent man, ridiculously charming, and loves the academics so much that his first thought after deciding not to kill himself was “I’m going to study all the things!” Just, Carlisle, you absolute nerd. Aro must have squealed when he saw that brain.

Carlisle is a saint 99.9% of vampires drink human blood, rat blood drinker George is an outlier and should not have been counted. Seriously, though, when Carlisle woke up as a demon, he would have thought his soul to be forsaken already. He had nothing to lose by giving in and quenching his thirst, and yet he defied his newborn instinct to feed and tried to kill himself so he wouldn’t hurt anybody. There’s being a good person, and then there’s being the kind of person who’ll destroy themselves before they hurt others. I’m not going to get into all the ways in which Carlisle is a saint, that’s a post of its own. What I’m getting at is that being beautiful is great, Aro’s tapping that. Being a nerd is also great, now Aro has a BFF. But Carlisle’s more than that. He’s a good person, the kind of good that’s daunting. And Aro can see his mind, see his every virtue and his incorruptibility. I think Carlisle rocked his world. I mean, he’s so impressed that the poor guard has been listening to him go on about how amazing Carlisle is nonstop for the past three hundred years. Jane thought he was exaggerating. Just... Carlisle’s wit and beauty was already great, but the whole saint thing appears to be what made Aro become the hardcore fanboy we meet in canon. (I also think the whole “Stregoni Benefici” thing was at Aro’s behest or at the very least with his hearty approval. It happened in Italy, and on his own Carlisle is actually pretty damn good at keeping the secret. I strongly doubt something like inspiring his own myth could have happened without Aro’s involvement and consent. Caius, of course, cried)

The Didyme Factor This one is really a post of its own, because boy do I have thoughts on Didyme. What I’ll say is this, from what we hear about Didyme she is reminiscent of Carlisle. An absolutely wonderful person, loved by all, her gift was to make everybody happy, she was so precious to Aro that he came back for her. And he ended up killing her. And since I don’t subscribe to Ever So Evil Aro, I think this was an Agamemnon and Ifigenia kind of situation where he sacrificed the thing he loved most for power, and now he has power but no sister. The Didyme Factor isn’t so much one of the things that draws Aro to Carlisle, so much as it is something hanging over Aro and affecting his relationships.

So, these are my five cents on why Carlisle rocked Aro’s world.

[sjw-publishings]

A Le’Silver Lining

Based on a story from Midas Touch, by @dumb-and-jocked

“Finish up pronto, or you’re fired.”

Aden sighed, he really wanted to get that promotion, the next step up the corporate ladder, but because of some desperate plea of a ‘millennial-life crisis’, he ended up revealing to his incredibly hot Boss...hoping he had been closeted this entire time.

He was wrong.

Recalling the many words and verbal insults from the strict CEO, it was far from a ‘privilege’ throughout these past few years.

And to be paid a similar wage while handling this douchebag’s laundry is just the icing on the cake.

All he wanted to do was to head towards the top with a faithful partner, but instead his arrogant boss reduced him to some laundry ‘boy’. He was in his mid 20s and treated like some joke.

“This is humiliating!”

Stuffing in the last few piles of clothes, he grumbled, but not too loud just in case his boss spied on him. Turning on the laundry machine as it whirled, done for the day...though not for long knowing how unreasonable that homophobe was.

Folding his arms, pocketing the white gloves he had to wear. As the douche puts it, ‘so he won’t catch the gay’. He rubbed his palms all over his youthful face, trying to contain himself from tearing over his demotion a couple of hours ago, hoping there will be a way to get some power back.

*Shone*

From the corner of his eye came a glint of something shiny, alone at the corner of the clothes basket was a singular watch, which was without a doubt very costly.

Not like his boss’s that shone gold, but rather one of silver. ‘A promising shine...yet dull’. One of the many insults that alpha would arrogantly scoff at him.

“Better polish this before he starts complaining about it.”

As he said that, he grabbed a cloth that appeared to his side and began polishing the accessory. Not realising how the watch voluntarily attached itself to his wrist as his eyes were laser focused on polishing the silver lining.

Le Silver Lining.

His fingernails began trimming themselves short, hands were bigger and more worn...yet eloquent. The changes trailed down his arms, tightening his biceps with lean muscle of a servant who had been tasked with numerous duties beyond laundry.

The boss eventually demanded more from him after all, as the shirt he wore had split into two, the lower layer ironing itself to his chest, sculpting his abdominals to six stones as two modest arches formed the front side of his chest, tightening as the solid foundation gets filled with pectoral muscle.

Starch blue Sleeves rolling down to his wrists, regaining the familiarity of a buttoned down as the upper layer rested over him like a navy suit jacket. He had to look presentable always, even if he was Mr. Conrad’s servant, especially when he had visitors.

Of course, his snobbish boss was always in control, living under his roof meant a rigid schedule with tons of tasks always needing to be done. Buttocks tightening...ensuring there will be no time for any poking from behind.

“He did give me some leeway though.”

Connecting his legs, as the stress pitched a tent beneath his trousers, which shifted to a more expensive quality that he missed, tightening on those knees in dark blue like his suit jacket, as he stood tall over 6ft, slightly shorter than his boss...but definitely the height of a man who was in charge of many things.

The man in the older twenties nodded, as with every swipe, the new reality of his situation became clearer and clearer.

His pouch rested comfortably in those briefs, which came with the uniform ‘to set ‘boys’ straight’ as so he proclaims. Being dedicated to his boss meant he had no time for a long term relationship, seeing men less and being forced to chat with women.

Though with the amount of ladies chatting with him....

“He has been exceptionally generous.”

Huffing out an arrogant flair, starting to appreciate his employer. Yes, he was bi-curious, nothing too serious though, at least with the men.

Plus the watch was, after all, a symbol of gratitude and position from the older male. Despite the consistent banter during his first few years, he really grew on him despite the excessive homophobia.

Because, it was as his boss said, working under him was a privilege.

Both things, he too had inherited from his long time boss. He did serve under him over 16 years, and while Conrad was demanding, he was absolutely generous, as long as one fits into his mould.

Which its something he slid on in perfectly.

“Still, not really my type, no?”

The age gap was less than a decade, but he was not interested in such acts with the man. Putting his foot down, shoes being polished into a prim and proper wing-tip, strictly professional like their relationship.

The strictness was something he did admire in a superior, alongside the pompous arrogance, he probably wouldn’t date the man even if he were gay! Despite it being so arou-

“Non non...what am I thinking?!”

His voice deepened, darkened. His nose wrinkled in disgust, disapproval to his more...’immature’ ways. Aging out to a matured thirty eight, as his skin took on a more elegant and healthy glow. Raised in the life of the wealthy, but with the humility of a servant.

They were simply, Sir and b...Monsieur. A Boss and his trusted butler, a respectable relationship between gentlemen.

Standing up straight, a posture he maintained throughout his years at the CEO’s house, shoulders filling up nicely on his uniform, buttocks being disciplined shut as though he vehemently made a decision to stay far from those kind of acts.

And of course, this choice was made solely on his own.

“Unacceptable, no?”

Smirking to himself, recalling the many rants from Sir Conrad about ‘faguettes’ and how disrespectful youths nowadays were, and the many nights they had fine women over as a result.

Giving a few combs to his hair, tight and thorough hairspray glued his slicked back cut to his scalp, maintaining it since he started as one of the servants in the mansion, the prim and proper look for someone who belonged underneath his employer, yet dashing enough to stand out for the ladies.

And of course, he had a level of authority unlike the supervisors of his boss’s company. Bringing his palm to his face, brushing against the dark brown bristles, stubbles, beard on his chin down to a more concentrated ‘chin strap’ as the locals call it.

Jaw sharpening itself to a cleft, moustache dressing above his upper lip, trimmed and twirled to the ideas from the CEO, with a modest patch of fuzz below his lower lip, mirroring his superior’s well groomed moustache.

Like a shadow, he would do as his employer says, and behave like him...with a Parisian twist.

The experienced servant giving a few final swipes to the watch with ease as the polished beam shone into his eyes, lenses. A pair of rectangular spectacles framed his new perspective, with utmost appreciation to his employer.

Brows arching downward, trimming away any resistance to the loyal affluence of the frenchman’s dark brown eyes. Pocketing away his hankerchief, he turned on the washing machine and made his way to the living room with a pre-prepared cart of treats.

Knowing, according to his watch, its tea time.

“As expected as always, Monsieur.”

Antoine bowed down to his waist, proud of his accomplishment of being second in command to the CEO of C.O.N. Corporations. And while he may not have a title like the fine gentlemen sitting at the boardroom, the Butler had more say in who stays than any of them ever could.

That enough was of satisfaction to the eloquent Parisian.

“Now if you would excuse us, we would like to have the rest of the afternoon undisturbed until a quarter past nine...”

As his boss said that, a fancy looking Madame climbed on top of him, and initiated an intense make out session like every other evening after a special occasion.

“Understood sir, enjoy your session.”

The french butler walked on auto pilot out of the room, leaving them to their heterosexual pursuits. Of course, while he was a fellow ladies man, he wasn’t going to steal the spotlight from his boss. He wasn’t a ‘boy’, but a ‘Monsieur’, and besides...

“Heehee~”

There was someone far more interesting on the staircase...

A french maid, dressed loosely in that typical frilly attire, winked at him. That cheeky vixen...she was literally asking to be painted, pulling his attention from his multitude of assignments to be done, and onto her.

Alas, the ladies do come first, his boss always encouraged his many trysts with women across the mansion, as long as he did a clean job.

And this blonde was no exception, most definitely another generous reward from Sir Conrad, something his eyes savoured by examining those pillows on her mattress.

Removing his glasses, he gave a dashing look at the lady, and daringly spoke.

“Bonjour Mademoiselle, Coffee, Tea, or me?”

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

So more on the Beauford Swan AU, how do you think Alice and Rosalie's relationships with him are different? I assume Rosalie doesn't compare herself to Beauford the exact same way she compares herself to Bella, and Alice's Barbie Bella dream probably doesn't translate directly into a Ken Beau. How would that effect their initial relationships and the eventual family dynamics (Let's just assume this is the Beau Gives Up and Asks Carlisle to Turn Him version)?

Ooooh, interesting question anon.

For reference the Beauford AU: one, two, and three.

Specifically, we're in post number three, where Beauford survives Edward (huzzah for Beauford).

Rosalie

Rosalie's relationship with Beauford is a rollercoaster of weird.

At first, Beauford is a nothing special human. Rosalie's a little amused the girls are going wild for him, and she sees the appeal if you're into sensitive pretty boys (not Rosalie's type), but it has nothing to do with her.

As you point out, Rosalie doesn't have that conflict with her own beauty and comparison to Bella. Just per being a man, Rosalie will not compare herself to Beauford constantly.

Then Edward has his Biology breakdown and becomes increasingly weird.

Rosalie probably still suggests they kill off Beauford for nearly being crushed by a van. While Rosalie did have inner conflict over Bella, most of what informed that was Rosalie's lack of desire to move, that wouldn't change because of Beauford.

She probably wonders what the hell Edward's deal is, why is he obsessed with this guy, and then she has her "oh" moment.

Edward is gay.

Edward has always been gay.

Suddenly everything makes sense. The fact that Edward has shown 0 interest in Rosalie, that he showed 0 interest in Tanya who was practically throwing herself at him, that he shows 0 interest in any woman period.

Rosalie never suspected as much before, or at least, never put two and two together. But of course Edward is gay, it all makes sense now.

Edward doesn't like that idea, not at all, and accuses Rosalie of being a jealous shrew who is so offended by the idea that Edward isn't attracted to her that she accuses him of homosexuality.

Rosalie never said a word of this out loud.

The family has the biggest fight they've ever had. And, somehow, it's not over the murder of Beauford, but Edward's sexuality. No definitive conclusion is reached, but if you ask Edward, he is most definitely a heterosexual hot blooded man. Now, if you excuse him, he's going to go sneak into Beauford's room to crush the spiders that might sneak onto his pillow.

But back to Rosalie and Beauford.

Rosalie becomes increasingly exasperated as Edward romances Beauford without admitting he's romancing Beauford. He also does ridiculous things like adamantly refuse to turn Beauford into a vampire.

Rosalie tries to point out that he and Edward have no future like this. Edward doesn't care, he'll nobly leave Beauford anyway, as soon as he has the strength to. Rosalie tries to point out that a man doesn't take another man to a romantic Italian dinner (where he can't even eat anything) unless he's romantically interested. Edward tells Rosalie that she's never been as beautiful as she thought she was!

Rosalie decides, "fuck it", and she will be a part of Beauford's welcome committee when Edward invites him to meet the family. She's only given a few hours notice, but she just feels so bad for this guy. Edward's stringing him along, but is too in love with his own closet to ever have a real relationship.

She has no idea what Beauford thinks about it, but she's just dying of secondhand embarrassment. And yes, she thinks that Beauford should probably live a human life, and that Edward should either leave him alone or turn him, but at the very least she has to explain that her brother's an idiot.

Well, turns out, Beauford is also an idiot. And he's weird.

Rosalie finds herself meeting the most sensitive, womanly, man she's ever seen in her life. This guy is a delicate flower, she feels like if she breathes on him he might shatter into a thousand pieces.

He's very polite, very charming, but she watches as he does things like cry at Edward's piano playing and then let Edward eat his tear.

What the fuck?

Rosalie throws her hands in the air. There's no helping these two, they deserve each other, Rosalie out. Well, the baseball game happens, which turns into a disaster and a half.

Rosalie still likely gives her "Why are we risking our own deaths over this guy we don't even know" and Beauford assumes that Rosalie hates him (not helped by Rosalie giving him "are you crazy" looks all the time as well as Edward telling Beauford that Rosalie is jealous of his beauty and Edward's very platonic affections for him).

That summer Rosalie barely sees Beauford. When she does, he and Edward are cuddling on the couch. She asks if Edward's admitting he's gay yet, the answer is always no. She rolls her eyes and leaves to work on her cars.

New Moon happens, Rosalie doesn't know what to think anymore, but she supposes this is a decent outcome. Beauford gets to live a normal, human, life and move on.

They're back six months later.

Fast forward a bit and Beauford is turned by Carlisle. Rosalie sits down to think about it, Carlisle makes it clear why this happened, and she's back to feeling bad for Beauford.

Edward treats him like trash, he's downright vicious to Beauford, and Beauford looks like he's about to cry constantly. Rosalie reaches out and the pair have a good long talk about life, the universe, and her Pig Brother Edward.

Rosalie assures Beauford that Edward will get over it, he'll forgive Beauford eventually, and someday he'll stop being an ass. Beauford is comforted, but Edward never stops being an ass.

Rosalie and Beauford end up best friends instead.

They have nothing in common.

Alice

Alice still makes Beauford her Barbie Beauford, but with a slightly masculine twist.

She buys him fabulous clothes, so that his closet is filled with blazers, turtlenecks, and very tight pants. She still throws him a sweet sixteen eighteen, only instead of a million pink candles the candles are now blue.

Beauford is still utterly mortified.

She gets him a tux for Prom and Beauford ends up going with Edward though neither Edward nor Beauford realize they're in fact going to Prom together as a couple.

Alice still sees Beauford as her best friend and is absolutely ecstatic for his and Edward's "friendship". As Alice never sees the pair having sex, she is absolutely fine with the platonic label and fully agrees with Edward that theirs is a very platonic relationship.

Alice is still the best friend Beauford ever had because he has no friends and doesn't know what friendship is. Though he kind of wishes she'd stop buying him clothes.

Their relationship goes down the drain after Beauford is turned.

As Beauford and Edward's relationship falls apart, he looks to Alice for comfort, but she has none to provide. She doesn't see him and Edward working out any time soon and, well, glad you're a part of the family?

Alice realizes that her and Beauford's friendship isn't going to work out either. She's upset about this, but doesn't see any way to salvage it without completely alienating Edward. Alice will choose Edward.

Alice ponders over might have beens and wonders when the future shifted but quietly watches as Beauford becomes closest with Rosalie.

[trutrustories]

Okay, this will be probably long and with many errors (my english isn´t very good) But I saw several posts here on Lokius tag, talking about this ship as result of gay fetish, and about non existing chemistry and  how this ship doesn´t make sense etc… And from what I understood there is tagged Lokius because of genuine interest to understand others point of view, so here is mine: I wil try to explain where my frustration comes from, and how I feel about Lokius, Sylkie, AND representation + some other things which I saw here somewhere. But first of all: I like Sylvie, I don´t hate sylkie shipers, and after so many years reading fan fictions, I don´t mind selfcest – I read weirder things. I have some issues with this ship (the mainlythe fact that it isn´t Lokius), but  this is not one of them. Also, I am not about to tell anyone, they shouldn´t ship sylkie.Ship whatever. And I LOVED the show as a whole. 

I just want to defend my standpoint, that Lokius does make sense, people shipping it does make sense and whether it will happen or not, (I don´t have my hopes very high, and I learned to be very skeptical in this regard ) it is more than just about crack ship, or fetish. I´m honestly blown away that people are still surprised that this ship became a thing :D First of all, let´s look at some romantic story telling and tropes: I mean the way they introduced them in the first two episodes set the tone for all series and how the heck this isn´t romantic? Somehow there are all these romantic tropes existing in a show. They´re just there. Just chilling between Loki and Mobius and large portion of audience can´t even see them. (and some of those tropes were used for Sylki as well, so you could actually see them side by side)

For example: 1) traveling to the apocalypsis 2) breaking law/rules for the other 3) literally changing for the better thanks to the other 4) arguing like old married couple 5) saying secrets, personal things to the other 6) sharing glances, touches, visibly being happy around each other - in case of Loki happier then we´ve ever seen him before 7) being completely themselfs around each other 8) One knowing everything (even the worst) about other and still accepting him completely 9) teasing, being comfortable and domestic around each other 10) one being literally enthusiastic FAN of the other 11) Mobius defending Loki whenever he has a chance 12) Freaking amnesia trope that they pulled of in the end??? (It could be different Mobius, but point is he suddenly doesn´t know him - and Loki knows more, in contrast with the beggining) 13) the jealousy in ep4 14) Misunderstanding - when Mobius thought Loki betrayed him and Loki (thanks to Ravonna) thought Mobius betrayed him... 15) witnessing death of the other and being absolutely broken afterwards 16) The goodbye hug with romantic music in the backround 17) Saving life of the one (even when it means problems for the other ) - like Mobius saved Loki´s ass at least three times when he was trying to stop others from pruning him. 18) sharing deep conversations about meanings of life, freedom and how it would be fun to make some chaos and ride that fucking jet ski!!! 19) Inspiring the other 20) looking for each other (Mobius didn´t believe for a second, that Loki would die in the Void and the way how in the last minutes of the series Loki run through all places they were together when he was looking for Mobius... and I could go on. Point is, even if they are not planning to make Lokius canon, all these things are used on a daily basis to describe romance in media and they are used here. On top of that it´s just very poetic and cute, that this drama queen and powerful god of Asgard who looked down on people would find his match in someone, who is so quiet, ordinary on the first sight, and basically is just human from 90s, who loves jet skis. Mobius can´t even fight. But is highly inteligent and he also happen to be as good manipulator, such as Loki himself. - That´s why they work together so well. Mobius sees right through him and once Loki understands that, he drops his evil persona. Almost nobody expected to ship it for real. But story itself and chemistry between them just made it probably the most exciting duo in the whole MCU. And I mean it genuinely. Third episode, even though it was beautiful and Sophie was great in it (and is literally dipped in bisexual colors), is the least favorite for a reason. And that reason being, there is no interaction between Loki and Mobius whatsoever. Lot´s of people though that series slowed down a bit. Even when in fact there was more action, then when we watched Loki and Mobius working at the TVA.

(and let´s just talk about evil!Mobius narative for a bit and how some people say he is manipulative and toxic for Loki: show itself explore heavy themes and one of them is in Loki´s line: no one bad is ever truly bad and no one good is ever truly good. And as a theme in a fictional world, it is working as it should, for the  story. When Loki and Mobius meet, one of them just killed lots of innocent people and destroyed almost whole city. The other one is a part of fascist organization – and in the beginning of the series they both believe what they´re doing is right. They´re both bad, they´re both good, they´re both broken. And they are changing with the help of the other.) From all reactions I watched - and there was many of them, lots of people actually didn´t see dynamic between Loki and Sylvie as romantic in the third episode. So it´s not like Sylvie and Loki had unequivocally love story right from the start.

The only difference is that lots of people won´t see romantic tropes, when it comes to two men in a mainstream show – show that isn´t primarily about relationships and problems that queer people has to face. Because in super hero story and science fiction we have to warn audience, that they´re about to watch two man in love, right? At this point It´s just frustrating really. There were many M/M dynamics that used similar story line, as for example Lucifer, or X-files, or Bone collectors. -  But unlike those M/M pairings, no one was making fun of people for shipping main characters in these shows. But when it comes to two men suddenly you´ll see from all corners of the internet: “why can´t it be just platonic?” “There is not enough platonic relationships” “why can´t two man just be friends?” (They can and they almost ALWAYS are) and “if you think there something romantic between them, you´re delusional” “fetishist“ “And for god´s sake just let them be friends, Loki needs a friend more then....” oh wait, but Sylvie is allowed to kiss him. Sylvie doesn´t have to be just friend. (And I must say, that I love Sylvie, I liked most of the interactions between her and Loki and I think she is a great character ((I hope we learn more about her in the future)) it just doesn´t work for me as well as Loki´s dynamic with Mobius. Maybe partly because of chemistry between actors, partly because combination of characters and they´re personality and also because I had two whole episodes to fall in love with the pair before Sylvie was even introduced.)

First of all: people can be friends and then evolve into lovers. Not only it is common romantic trope, but it is also the most realistic one. And those relationships are usually strongest. second: If people want to see Loki in a platonic friendship so desperately, why can´t it be a woman for a change? They were acting like chaotic siblings for most of the episode three anyway. The age gap aspect is also very funny. Owen is only about 12 years older (That is not that much. But I imagine, some people would get uncomfortable. But If it was man and woman, most of them wouldn´t even blinked. But two men, that has to be somehow automatically son and father figure dynamic) And If you want to dive into age of an actual characters, then good luck with that in a series about gods, variants and time travel. Almost nobody cares about age gap between Lucifer and detective Decker, or Bella and Edward. On top of that, it was heavily implied, that Loki slept with older, silver haired guy in Ragnarok, so it´s not like he would have problem with that.

Different standards are projected in a way how we see romantic dynamics between fictional characters depends on what we are used to, how are we perceiving world around us, what we are expecting to see and ALSO, what we would like to see, that much is true.  When people are used to make no differences between heterosexual and homosexual pairing, then everything what happens to the characters is measured with the same meter. (Even though I experienced queerbaiting many times (( Once upon a time, Sherlock, Supernatural, Good Omens – the last one hopefully is not the case, but I guess we´ll see)) I also saw lots of lgbt shows like Queer as folks and Sense8.) And when we are not used to see it the same way, well… then it looks basically like that one comment under Castiel´s “I love you” scene on youtube, that said  “what a beautiful friendship”.

If we forget about all that chaotic mess behind the scenes (all those articles and contrary messages)  What is happening in a show between Loki and Mobius can be objectively considered romantic and what is happening between Loki and Sylvie in a series can be objectively considered platonic (until the kiss) and vice versa.  And then to see comments about how absurd it is to even think they have chemistry, and about gay fetish - it´s hard to swallow. I read posts about absurdity of a ship and how there is absolutely nothing that would suggests romance.  Well there is, actually. But whether creators are going to work with it or not, that´s something we can only speculate. They already made Loki officially bisexual. So why should it be so absurd to assume, that there is an actual possibility of romantic subplot between Loki and Mobius? Oh right… it´s Disney and Marvel we are talking about.

So on a subject of bisexuality: Bi people can date whoever they want.  But It is a little frustrating, when there is so many heterosexual pairings in the mcu and disney but when there is a promise of lgbt character (speaking of endgame) we get one line about date from a man we´ll never see again. And when there is a promise of lgbt representation you can´t even blink during movie, or you´ll miss it (Star wars, Beauty and the beast). And then Loki said “A bit of both, I suspect the same as you”. And I won´t lie, I was happy. And I think creators made biggest step yet with this one line (which is honestly terrible, that “a bit of both” coming from Loki of all people, is the biggest step forward.) But they played it VERY safe. Obviously, both Loki, and Sylvie are bisexuals, and in three episodes, we had Loki flirting with female flight attendant, Sylvie talking about her relationship with POSTMAN and then they fall for each other. So the only thing that suggests they are really as bi as Lamentis 1 is that little sentence, that can be edited out, or easily overheard. It´s the bare minimum. And I think that frustration with how freaking slowly we´re moving into some progress is understandable. From all those great M/M dynamics I talked about, those, that could make great love story, nothing happened, because too many people “don´t mind gays but don´t need to look at them” or are scared for their children. In 2021.

It is not a fetish to wish for a gay love story in superhero movies/series. (But anyway, I don´t think there is anything bad about it. Some men like to watch lesbian porn, some woman like to read gay porn. AO3 wouldn´t be were it is today, without people reading and writing slash :D – but that has little to do with what we actually see on tv)

I´m not delusional. As much, as I love these two characters together, I know how little chance it has.  I´m not delusional. I´m just in the future, old and tired, waiting hundreds of years for at least one of my OTP to finaly become a fucking canon.

[heathersdesk]

Thank you so much for this! You've given me subjects and search terms, which is exactly what I needed to go meandering and gathering. I appreciate the time it took to put all this together. I think the West African traditions are a great place to start for exactly the reasons you gave.

To answer your question about the LDS church, I think it's important for me to point out that I'm a convert and Mormonism is my chosen faith. Because I wasn't raised in it, I approach everything with a greater feeling of autonomy than many others who were raised in the faith feel they have/were allowed to have by their families. I was able to explore the folklore roots and things like female faith healing early on without anyone to tell me what I was doing was wrong. And to the extent that I want to reincorporate those things into my personal worship, there's nothing/no one to stop me. I have no other family in the Church to police me. There's no mechanic for the local leadership to do so, other than ordinance access (which has a very short list of openly stated standards through which those can be revoked), or through instruction that I can ignore. My relationship with senior leadership is even more hands off. The only exception to that I personally make is senior female leadership (which we do have) because they've been on the forefront of reconnecting LDS women today with the women who came before us, their faith and perspectives.

Much of what my social media presence is dedicated to us encouraging LDS folks to claim the autonomy and freedom to experiment I've enjoyed. Nothing bad is going to happen.

The attitudes you've observed are absolutely valid. Even though we're similar to Quakers in how much we value personal revelation, with an established understanding that spiritual gifts are accessible and openly shared with all people by God, there have been a lot of gendered ideas that go unspoken and really shape how women feel like they can access them. Like, I used to teach teenage girls and gave a lesson on the spiritual gifts from the New Testament, with examples of women using all those gifts, and the middle-aged woman who was definitely more conservative than I am was writing down all the examples I gave. It was a kind of messaging about direct divine power access that is simultaneously Very Mormon, but has been gendered in such a way that she had never heard it said that directly before.

We're in a place of profound cultural shift in our community right now with things like that where the younger folks who stay are exploring, deconstructing, purging, and challenging these kinds of things. As women reclaim their sense of divine power and autonomy in their own worship (which was dismantled back in the 60s and 70s as reaction to the ERA), what's emerging is really robust Mormon feminism that I really feel at home in.

So like... is Mormonism in a really messy place right now where all the racism, sexism, heterosexuality and anti-trans nonsense is a point of public conversation that gets really ugly at times? Yes. Is the senior leadership aware of that and trying to carve out space for those cultural transitions to take place? I think so, and I can point to a lot of examples of our most recent general conference that speaks to that. And it's going to continue as a few more of the oldest senior leaders pass away.

We just need to hang a sign that says "Pardon our mess while we remodel" for the next 5-10 years. But I think/hope a lot of good changes will come from in, including affirmation of our LGBTQ community, more gender parity for women, and finally putting so much of the institutional racism to bed.

I hope that answers your question. I can talk about all of that in so much detail for hours. Feel free to ask any questions you have. I'm never going to be the one to take offense or play the part of an apologist.

NO, REALLY. TELL ME ABOUT YOUR RELIGION.

I'm coming to an understanding that I'm on the spectrum somewhere and religion is my special interest. Like, the amount of information I possess on all kinds of Christian denominations is not normal, I'm realizing. Between all the experimentation my family has done, the invites from friends that I always accepted, my own experimentation, being in a fringe Christian community that many people don't really recognize as Christian, living abroad in South America to see the permutations of Christianity that exist there, and deep dives I've done on my own into various religious movements my ancestral family members have belonged to, I've got a library in here 👉🧠👈 on various Christian traditions. It also includes Judaism and Biblical Hebrew (which I did in college), and what I'll call a trinket box of stuff I've collected about Islam and Buddhism from the wild. I want to know more about Islam inside and outside of the Middle East, as well as more east Asian religions I've largely only been exposed to by name only.

I probably(?!) know more than the average person on a large number of Christian traditions. I always want to know more. I'm in a constant state of trying to get people to infodump on their religious traditions in a culture that teaches (but in no way enforces) that it's rude to talk about religion.

[wonder-womans-ex]

When In Vegas

It was loud in the locker room the next morning, but Saint was quiet.

Three days had passed since someone else’s world had been turned upside down, and Saint wasn’t sure whether he was more angry or scared—or relieved that it hadn’t been him.

Those fucking pictures, god. He had stared for hours, maybe more, hands frozen around his phone. The knowledge was unbearable—someone had done this. Someone was out to get people like them.

People like him.

But, in a way, it was also liberating. If he had to guess, he would say that no one had known about Black and Lupin. Judging from the way Tremblay had acted at All-Stars, they probably hadn’t even told their team, and god knew Saint hadn’t told his.

So, really, who was to say he was the only one? Any of the guys here, unlacing their skates beside him, could have grown up amidst thoughts of don’t look and stay silent and focus on the hockey. Any of the guys here could have had boyfriends in high school or college. Any of them could still.

He reveled in the thought. Maybe he wasn’t alone.

Black. Lupin. Tweedle.

Three names on a list wasn’t many, but it was better than one.

Saint glanced up when he felt someone watching him. His eyes met a pair of gleaming yellow ones—before meeting Greyback, he hadn’t even known that eyes could be that colour—and he steeled himself, resolutely not looking away.

Greyback smiled, and Saint recoiled internally. If there were others on the team—others in the league—Greyback was certainly not one of them.

As if Saint would ever, in a million years, want him to be.

He pulled off his second skate with one good, sharp tug. His helmet sat on the bench beside him, and he rested one elbow on it briefly. It was common knowledge that playing professional hockey was difficult, but the thing most people didn’t know was how near-impossible it was just putting on and taking off the necessary gear.

Next, after his skates, were his shin pads—big, bulky things that got hot altogether much too quickly, but at least they protected his legs. Then his jersey, his shoulder pads, his pants, until he Saint could finally lift his undershirt over his head and make his way to the showers.

The warm water felt like bliss against his aching muscles, but a part of him still pleaded to skip this bit and head straight home. All he really wanted was to curl up in bed with a bowl of ramen—decidedly not on his diet plan, but, hey, a guy could dream—and an episode of Drag Race.

And, of course, Luke. But he wasn’t allowed to think about that. Not here.

Or maybe, he realized, mind darting back to pictures taken through the windshield of a car, he could.

He had just begun to put on a pair of jeans and a tank top—grey, with the Golden Knights logo on the front and his name and number on the back—when there came a shout from the other side of the locker room.

“Hey, Tweedle!”

It was Pettigrew, one of his teammates, brandishing a ring of keys in the air. “Need a ride?”

Saint forced a smile. “Nah; I’m good. My roommate’s picking me up. Thanks for the offer, though.”

Pettigrew smiled back. “All right. See you tomorrow, Tweedle.”

“Yeah,” said Saint as he turned back to his stall. “See you.”

He packed up his gear in a sort of half-trance, thinking less about where he was and more about where he was soon to be. Saint loved hockey, true, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t love other things, too.

Other people.

The army green jeep was already waiting for him outside. He glanced around briefly, scanning the parking lot for any of his teammates, then pulled open the passenger side door. He wasn’t entirely sure why he’d checked to see if anyone was watching—it was, after all, nothing out of the ordinary: just a completely heterosexual hockey player getting into his completely heterosexual roommate’s car.

“Hey,” Saint said, meeting Luke’s gaze in the rearview mirror and grinning.

“Hey yourself,” Luke responded, a teasing tone to his voice. “How was practice?”

Saint just shrugged. “Same as always, I suppose. What are we having for dinner?”

Many things could be said for Luke Deveaux, and one of them was that he was a master of recognizing a subject change when he heard one. “Thought I’d finally cook up that chicken that’s been sitting in the freezer. Sound good to you?”

“Sounds fucking incredible. You really do know the way to a man’s heart.”

They smiled at each other again as Luke pulled out onto the main road—the soft kind of smile that said everything for them. Carefully, Saint reached out, resting a hand on Luke’s leg. The simple contact was really all they needed as they both looked back out to the road ahead, letting silence envelop them.

Finally, when they came to a stop at the second or third red light, Luke looked over. “What is it?” he asked quietly—genuinely, in a way only he could.

Saint made a noise of confusion. “What’s what?”

“You’re thinking.”

This time, Saint didn’t say anything for quite a while. He kept his eyes forward as the light turned green and Luke began to drive again. Eventually, just as Luke had begun to think that he wouldn’t get a response at all, Saint spoke up: “What if I introduced you to my teammates?”

Luke had a feeling he knew what Saint was getting at, but he wanted to be sure. “I’ve met a couple of them,” he said, slowly. “Pettigrew. Reaves. Dearborn. Greyback—though I didn’t like him much.”

“That’s not what I meant,” Saint said, and took a breath before continuing. “I meant like… what if I introduced you to them as my boyfriend?”

“Husband,” corrected Luke idly, jerking the wheel to the right.

“Right, yeah. But I’d still probably introduce you as my boyfriend, because, y’know—”

“Nineteen.”

“—Elvis.”

Another beat of silence. Another deep breath. “And I just thought—I was thinking that—that…”

Luke waited.

“Obviously I wouldn’t want to come out to the whole world. Not yet,” said Saint, starting again, “but… you know. People know about Black and Lupin—though they didn’t get to tell people; people were told for them. And if I said something, maybe… maybe, if there are others, they’d know… they’d know they aren’t alone.”

It was Saint’s turn to wait, now, as Luke took a left onto a side street and narrowly missed the curb. He swallowed back the slight lump in his throat—he’d said his bit; now it was time for Luke to say his.

“I love you.” Luke’s words were hushed, and, yeah, it was always nice to get reassurance, but that didn’t really clear anything up.

“I love you, too.”

“And I—” Luke sighed. “Can I have a little while? To think about it? Or, rather, not to think about it, but to think about how I’m going to say it.”

Tilting his head, Saint looked thoughtfully over at the man in the driver’s seat. “Yeah. Yeah; of course. Take all the time you need. It was just something I was thinking about.”

“But you’ve been thinking about it for a while.” It wasn’t a question.

“Well, if the better part of three days counts as ‘a while,’ then, yeah; I guess. Consciously, at least. Subconsciously… maybe longer.” He shrugged. “Who knows. All I do know is that I’m absolutely crazy for you, and I’d like someone who isn’t us or the guy who officiated our wedding to know that.”

“Especially because he almost definitely doesn’t remember either of us anymore.”

“Exactly.”

This next pause was different from the previous ones—more pause-like, though that didn’t make sense, even in Saint’s head.

“It’s like,” said Luke, thoughtfully, as he turned onto their street, “remember when we got married? And neither of us said anything about it for almost a month?”

“Yes?”

“Do you remember why?”

“Um, because typically you don’t get married to someone you’ve only been dating for a week and a half?”

The car slowed to a stop in front of their house. Luke pulled the key out of the ignition and sat back in his seat. “Bingo.”

When he didn’t elaborate, Saint asked, tentatively, “And, uh, what does that have to do with anything?”

“It’s like that, because I could only see that going one of two ways: either we stayed in a marriage neither of us was ready for, or we ended both the marriage and the relationship. And so, of course, the solution my nineteen-year-old and slightly stupid self came up with was to ignore the situation entirely. You can’t annul a marriage that you don’t acknowledge exists, right?”

Saint furrowed his brow. “But… we didn’t annul the marriage.”

“Exactly.”

“...I think you’ve lost me.”

“Yeah; probably.” Luke sighed “I’m going about this all wrong. I suppose the thing I keep getting stuck on is that it would make everything more difficult if—you know.”

“No,” Saint said, “I don’t know.”

“If we broke up.” It all came out in one breath, and Luke looked anywhere but at Saint while he said.

Suddenly, Saint found it difficult to breath. “You—you think we’re going to break up?”

“No. No; god, of course not. It’s just one of those irrational fears; yeah? Like, you know the elevator isn’t going to break and send you falling to your death like Tower of Terror, but you still worry about it.”

“Not quite sure I follow.” Saint waited a moment, then added, “So… I take it you aren’t planning on breaking up with me?”

“Nope.” Luke smiled as he said it, popping the p. “I’m afraid you’re stuck with me for a little while longer.”

“A lot longer, hopefully.”

“Amen to that,” said Saint, then reached to unlock the car door.

“Wait,” Luke said quietly. “I’m… there’s something else.”

Saint turned back, letting go of the door handle. “Yeah?”

“I—” He shook his head. “Never mind.”

“What was it?”

“I just—it’s been five years—or it will have been in a week, technically, but still—and… and I guess I was wondering if you… might like to do it again. That. Without Elvis, this time.”

“What, get married?”

Luke took a breath. “Yeah.”

“Again?”

“Jesus Christ, Saint; weren’t you listening to anything I just said? It doesn’t matter, anyway. Just—forget I said anything.” Now it was Luke’s turn to begin to open the car door, a rush of cold air seeping in through the gap.

“Wait—Tweedle—”

Luke paused. Saint didn’t often call him that, and, even when he did, usually when he was trying to be serious. It was something Saint would say when they were fighting—it was his way of saying I love you; I don’t regret being with you. It was not something Saint would say to someone he didn’t want to be married to.

“Yeah?” Luke didn’t look over—he kept his gaze on the sliver of pavement he could see in the space between the door and the rest of the car—but he could imagine the look on Saint’s face.

“I want to.”

“What?” He knew what Saint had said. He wasn’t asking for clarification. He was giving Saint one last chance to change his mind, and hoping desperately that Saint wouldn’t take it.

“I want to marry you. Fucking hell, of course I want to marry you. Again. Preferably sober this time. Definitely without Elvis.”

A noise that was halfway between a laugh and a sob escaped Luke’s lips. “Is that your way of proposing?”

“Actually, I think it was my way of accepting your proposal. And, either way, it was better than last time, when I think I just stuck my hand up your shirt and called it a day.”

This time, Luke really did laugh. “And they say romance is dead.”

“No kidding.” A pause, then, “Do you still have your ring?”

“Do I still have my—what kind of a question is that? Of course I do! I—” he cut himself off, clearing his throat. “Why? Do you still have yours?”

Saint looked down, avoiding Luke's eyes. His hand went to his neck, where he pulled out a thin gold chain. On it hung the ring Luke had given him so long ago: slightly battered and riddled with notches, but in a way better than it was when they had exchanged them all those years ago, giggling on the alcohol. "Of course I do." His voice was soft—almost timid. "I'm not sure I could have gotten rid of it if I wanted to."

Luke let himself smile. “I wear mine, sometimes, you know,” he said, in a voice nearly as gentle. “When you’re not around.”

“Yeah. I—I do, too.”

“I love you.”

Saint didn’t even think before he did it. He knew, somewhere, that it was a terrible idea—that this was exactly where Black and Lupin had gone wrong—but he couldn’t bring himself to care. Luke was his husband, goddammit, and if he wanted to lean across the console and kiss him until he forgot his own name, then nothing in the world was stopping him.

Well. Nothing except his seatbelt, and even that only took him a few brief moments to discard. Then he was turning in his seat and reaching out and cupping Luke’s cheek in the palm of his hand and whispering “I love you, too,” against his lips.

"God," Saint said, pulling away. "How could I ever have stopped."

Luke quietly laughed, pulling himself away from Saint's lips. "I don't know, love; it could have been you withdrawing yourself from me. It… it almost made me think you—well, not hated me, but at least that you regretted ever getting married."

Saint made a small sound, as if Luke's words were paining him. "I would never." His eyes were starting to water. "I could never. Sure, we were too young; sure, we were drunk. Sure, it was stupid. But it was the best mistake of my life."

Another laugh, this one slightly louder. “Best mistake of mine, too.”

Luke leaned in for another kiss. “Wait,” said Saint, ignoring the noise of protest he got in return. “I have to…”

Saint reached around the back of his neck, sighing in frustration as he fiddled clumsily with the clasp of his necklace. It took him a good ten seconds, but finally he was able to lift it off and slide the ring into the palm of his hand.

The thin gold band fit perfectly around his finger—the weight was familiar; the cheap metal had already been warmed by his body heat, almost as if he had never taken it off.

“People—” Luke cleared his throat. “People will ask questions.”

“I know.”

“And what—what will—”

“What will my answer be?”

“...Yeah.”

“Sweetheart,” murmured Saint, leaning in to brush their noses together, “there’s only ever been one answer.”

“And what’s that?” At this point, Luke was just playing along—and they both knew it.

“You.”

.

amazing characters by @lumosinlove

thank you so much to @im-oknutzy-trash for being my #1 supporter while I tried to get the words to work (and letting me use some of their words when mine inevitably didn't)

note: this is based off that one ask hazel received literal months ago about how if saint were in SW he'd be on the golden knights bc he looks good in gold. no one else seems to remember it, however, so maybe I imagined it. who knows.

and, yes, Saint's last name in this is Tweedle.

[floatingbook]

so I’ve been following you for quite a while and I agree with most of your opinions on separatism and I was having a conversation with my (heterosexual) friend yesterday and for my first conversation with any women in real life about it I’d say it went pretty well. she agreed with me a lot but said even though she thinks lots of women are better off without men and she certainly doesn’t prioritise having a boyfriend in her life she’ll still probably eventually settle down with a man and said that she’s thinks it’s slightly hypocritical of me to believe she shouldn’t when I wouldn’t want to live without romance and I guess I was just wondering what you would say to that. I’m bisexual and in a long term relationship with my girlfriend and I’ve never really found the idea of separatism difficult at all but perhaps she’s right that the fact that my attraction to men is very slight and I can perfectly happily live a fulfilling romantic life with women might mean I have a different view on it then her

Saying separatism is hypocrisy when coming from women who are attracted to other women is technically false. Hypocrisy describes the behaviour of someone who do what they tell others not to do. That’s not what either of us are doing, or the point we’re trying to make. The point isn’t that heterosexual don’t deserve love or romance or whatever you want to call it. The point is that, given our current circumstances and the overwhelming pervasiveness of misogyny, entering into an intimate partnership with a man is a terrible idea for any woman. The point is that there’s no way of loving your oppressor into your own liberation. The point is that any sort of relationship with a man is a gamble on your health and safety. The point is that any sort of relationship with a man means accepting misogyny.

If you’re not dating a man, then you’re not being an hypocrite. Is the world unfair? Definitely. Do you want heterosexual women miserable? I’m almost certain you don’t. Did you form your opinions out of care and concern? Highly probable. Men being what they are means that dating one is always contrary to women’s liberation. And that is indeed unfair, and it sucks for women attracted to men, especially for those who’ve been raised all their lives on the dream of a husband and a family. None of that unfairness is any woman’s fault; the blame belongs squarely with the men. Separatists aren’t the ones doing the oppressing, men are. We aren’t the ones upholding misogyny. It’s easy to shoot the messenger. It’s harder to face the facts and recognise that idealism is rarely congruent with reality. Sure, many women’s lives would be better if they could have the romance they deserve. But, from a pragmatic standpoint, dating and partnering with men is a terrible idea for women. I didn’t make the rules; you didn’t either. Pretending all is fine and continuing to entertain misogyny isn’t going to grant us liberation. Pretending women are all powerless little victims doesn’t help either. Pretending there’s nothing we can do to change things isn’t helpful. Chasing an idea (love, romance) that’s been oversold to us to make us more compliant with our oppression is a dead end.

The whole point is that we don’t live in a vacuum and that some of the things we can do have bad outcomes for us, because of men and their misogyny. Laying it out like dating a woman and dating a man are the same things is illogical; those two actions are absolutely not comparable, because of the whole oppression factor.

[qt-pop]

I am still seeing responses to Mackie's Variety interview that are a bit baffling.

I will absolutely defend Mackie. He’s not homophobic and nothing he said was grounds for a twitter roasting or cancellation. It was misguided and messy but not irrecoverably harmful. His argument is rooted in homophobia, though, and I don’t need to defend that.

This idea that it is a problem when m/m characters who are close friends get shipped because it, in any way, negatively impacts the important work of showing non-toxic male friendship is homophobic. Mackie also had some pretty classic straight panic in his answer. ‘I can’t hang out with my guy friends without worrying about how it’s perceived.’ Again, it doesn’t make him homophobic, but this fear is rooted in homophobia.

Yes, there are a lot of problems in fandom, there is a lot of toxicity. There are issues of exploitation. All of that is vastly more complicated than, gay fandom won't just let two guys be friends.

It is not the lgbt community that has hindered m/m platonic intimacy. We aren’t the ones that for centuries have insisted the only way men can interact with one another is through toxicity. Us projecting our queer desire onto fictional characters, especially when there isn’t actual or good queer representation, is not the reason men are uncomfortable in expressing their friendships however they see fit. Men did this to themselves/each other. 

Homophobia and heterosexism created the conditions that Mackie is concerned about. It’s that logic that has decided that physical and emotional closeness between men = gay. In that way m/m non-toxic platonic relationships are queer. They directly challenge heterosexist ideals of m/m relationships. 

Queerness isn’t about sex (or even romance) exclusively, and to have a bias towards believing it does is also classic homophobia (as well as anti-ace/aro). This bias seems founded in truth because sexuality in the gay community feels flaunted, but this comes out of the history of our sexuality being criminalized and punishable by death. Along with the normalization of heterosexual desire which makes it invisible and queer desire hypervisible. Fandom seems overly sexual (and can be) because it is one of the few spaces where queer desire can be expressed in relative safety. Where we can explore sex, along with a slew of other topics that aren’t touched upon elsewhere. 

And it’s not just lgbt folks who are exploring queer desire. Fandom is filled with straight folks who are drawn towards gay ships and not solely to fetishize it (though yes that happens a lot). Homosexual desire is not exclusive to gay folks, it’s something everyone experiences in some capacity, whether it is sexual, romantic, platonic, or pragmatic. In TFATWS, Zemo was literally reading about this on the plane when he stole Bucky’s notebook. 

There is not as much separation between queerness/gay relationships and m/m platonic friendships as we are led to believe, and that’s not an issue. We don’t need to distance these things. In fact, they also often coexist, gay men regularly experience platonic intimacy. 

We can take issue with the way fandom interacts internally as well as with the media we consume. These are symptoms though, not the cause of the issue. Heterosexism (interconnected with racism, settler colonialism, and capitalism) creates the conditions for a toxic fandom, a Hollywood that does not provide space for queer storytelling, and the discomfort men experience in their friendships.

[thomotomo]

Through everything part.1

Pairing: Namjoon x Male Reader

Summary: You have been dating Namjoon for a while. You’re now seeing him again for the first time in 4 years and both of you agreed on disclosing you relationship to everyone.  

Words: 3.5k

Today was a great day, maybe even the best day of your life, you were going to see your boyfriend after what felt like a lifetime without any physical interaction between both of you. In fact, it had been nearly 4 years since you last kissed you boyfriend.

Your boyfriend was an idol, Kim Namjoon from BTS, so he had a very tight schedule, and when he had breaks it didn’t always matched when you had breaks sadly. But this year, after a lot of discussions with him and him with his manager and the CEO, you were finally able to see each other.

You both met back in High-School when you went in Korea for an exchange that was organised by your school after they set up a pen pal thing between both schools. You ended up in his class, even though he wasn’t your pen pal, you discussed with him and both of you immediately hit off and you absolutely wanted to keep contact even after you left Korea.

It wasn’t easy every day, specially because both of you were in different time zones, so often you were the one who stayed up at night so you could discuss. You also sent each other packages, which was pretty expensive, so you didn’t do it often, probably for Christmas, each other’s birthdays and for each other’s new year (the “common one” and the Lunar new year). Luckily for both of you, your parents were cool enough to come in Korea every two days, mainly during summer break, so you could see each other. You also helped each other in your native languages and with English, soon you became fluent in both Korean and English and Namjoon easily spoke (your language) and English.

Slowly you fell for each other, you easily accepted your feelings, as you always wondered why you didn’t felt the same attraction toward girls like your comrades so in the end you agreed with your feelings pretty easily, but not saying anything to Namjoon, you didn’t want to lose the friendship you both had.

On the other hand It wasn’t easy for Namjoon, sexualities other than heterosexuality weren’t talked a lot, if not at all, in Korea, so he struggled to understand why he had such hard feelings toward a boy, especially when he knew he could still feel attracted to girls. Few times before you, he arbored a kind of a crush on other guys but tried to pass it as just finding them attractive and nothing else. He spent a lot of time online on anonymous servers, discussing about sexuality and trying to understand who he was and what his sexuality was. In the end he determined that he was fitting the definition of pansexual pretty well and thus, adopted it for himself and internet friends.

He thought few times about coming out to his parents, but he read so much stories of Korean who were left by their families once they came out, and even though he tried to drop clues about him and test their reactions to LGBT+ people on TV shows or something he didn’t find the force in himself to come out to them, too scared. He also kept that from you, in case you didn’t want to be friend with him anymore.

You both didn’t talk about your feelings to each other and life followed its pace. You congratulated him when he told you about the song he wrote for another band and when he spoke to you about the group he’ll be in. In return he was happy for you when he learned that you graduated high school and got accepted to the college you wanted to go to.

In 2013, when you were both 18 you organized your trip in Korea, alone this time, so you could enjoy “fully” the trip alone. You met Namjoon at the airport and congratulated each other for graduating high school. You went to deposit all your thing at the hotel, and then you both walked around Seoul, him showing you his favourite places since he started to live at Big Hit’s dorms. He was allowed to go back home so you went and installed a bed for you to sleep in. You were happy to see his parents once again, they were always sweet to you, so it was always a pleasure to see them again. It was the same day that you came out to each other.

Around midnight you were both laid in the bed when Namjoon whispered:

“Hey…”

“Yes?”

“Would you stay by my side no matter what?”

“Of course Namjoon! Why are you asking me that?”, you stood on your forearms, looking at him.

“I… Need to admit you something…”, he was still laid in the bed, looking at the ceiling

“You can tell me everything, I’ll be here to support you.”

He took a deep breath.

“I’m… Pansexual. I can be attracted to everyone no matter their gender...”

You smiled at him softly and sat on the edge of your bed.

“It’s okay, I have to admit something too then.”

He turned his head toward you, frowning a little bit.

“I’m gay, I’m exclusively attracted to men.”

He looked at you, a bit surprised. His brain was trying to understand what you meant as he sat on his bed too.

“You… Really?”

“Yep. Don’t feel ashamed to be you. It’s okay. If it’s not too indiscreet, are you out to your parents?”

“N-No… I’m pretty scared, you know I’ve read a lot of stories about LGBT+ Korean people that got thrown out of their households when they came out… And I’m becoming an idol, it could ruin my career and I don’t want to abandon my dream because of that…” He lowered his eyes, as if ashamed of what he just said to you.

You came closer, seating right next to him and hugged him.

“It’s okay if you’re not out, your safety always comes first. Don’t force yourself to come out if you’re not ready you’re not. I love you the way you are.”

“Y-You love me?”

You blushed, wondering why you said that. You looked away from him and tried to take off your hands from him but looked at you, whispering.

“I love you too…”

You flushed even harder and smiled at him while he was looking at you with bright eyes.

“(Y/N)… Can I kiss you?”

“Yes of course!”

Your faces slowly got closer from the other’s and your lips gently touched, his lips were soft, softer than you anticipated (and fantasized), you felt as if you whole body was set on fire. The kiss was a little bit sloppy, but you didn’t had much experience and you were pretty sure than he didn’t have much either.

You stopped kissing after a few seconds, air already starting to miss. You looked at each other and you observed a pink blush covering a great part of Namjoon’s face. He looked back at you with a bright smile and your heartbeat already fastened by all these emotions, quickened the pace even more.

“So… Boyfriends?”

“Yes Nam… Boyfriends.”

He smiled and hugged you before yawning. You smiled a little to him, touching his hair softly.

“Maybe we should go to sleep, you seem tired.”

“Yes, good idea. Goodnight (Y/N).”, he said as he left your arms and laid back in his bed.

“Goodnight Namjoon.”

You moved to your bed, falling asleep with a content smile.

This is how you spent the next 7 years with Kim Namjoon as your boyfriend, of course it wasn’t easy every day, as living in different time zones, and him being a full-time idol who grown more and more popular every day passing. Like every couples you had your fights and being unable to make up with either sex or cuddles was pretty frustrating. You were able to see him sometimes when he had breaks and you enjoyed and cherished those moments very dearly, but sadly you couldn’t see as often as you would. Nobody except your family knew that you were dating. Of course, at firsts your parents had been sceptical, thinking that it was just some hormonal teenagers feelings, but after noticing that you were serious and engaged in your relationship they supported you.

So here you were, inside your plane to Korea to meet your boyfriend you weren’t able to see in a while. You were quite excited, and the trip was long, so you slept for a long time, hoping that when you woke up, you’ll be in Korea or close enough. Sadly for you, you still had half of the trip that you still had to do.

You occupied yourself as much as you could do but luckily, in the end the trip went pretty quickly. You landed at Incheon airport after around 12 hours of flight, when you took your first steps on the Korean soil you couldn’t help but grin.

You took out your phone, sending a text to your lover, before going to the conveyor, reclaiming your belongings before going toward the public entry, you felt you phone vibrating, you opened it, it was a text from Namjoon that he was going to wait for you in a car at Incheon City Hall to avoid any commotions in the airport, he also gave you the brand, the colour and the first number of the car.

You moved as fast as you could to catch your bus, even though it was hard for you to know that you’ll have to wait for another hour before finally being reunited with him.

Once you reached the station you went to the parking and you looked around before noticing the car Namjoon was in. You grinned and trotted until you reached it. You knocked at the window and Namjoon perked, his eyes lighting up as he saw you. He got out of the car to meet you. Once he was close enough he lowered his mask and kissed you hard.

You felt a laughter bubbled in you throat. You put your luggage on the ground and put your arms around him. After a few seconds he stopped the kiss and put his mask back in place.

“I’m sorry we can’t kiss longer for the moment, but I want to avoid any risks for your to be exposed.”

“Of course don’t worry.”

He helped you with your bags and opened the trunk of his car where you put all your things. He closed it while you went to the front of the car and sat in the passenger sit. He came few seconds after you and took your hand with his, softly kissing it through his mask.

“I missed you so much (Y/N)”

“I missed you too… I’m glad to be able to spend some time with you.”

His eyes crinkled and he started the car, he told you that both of you were going back to his parents’ houses, it had been a while since you saw them (along with his sister) and you couldn’t help but being anxious about it, last time you saw them it was in 2016, and it was before Namjoon came out to them and told them you were dating. He told you they reacted pretty well, and it seemed it didn’t disturb them more than that when you did call with them, but it was the first time you’ll see them as Namjoon’s boyfriend and that was frankly scary for you.

After maybe an hour in the car you reached Namjoon’s family’s house. The car stopped and you felt you hand starting to shake slightly. Your boyfriend noticed that too and he took them in his hands.

“It’s okay, they love you already so much.”

“H-How?”

He snorted.

“I’ve known you for more than 10 years, and you didn’t saw my parents since I came out to them, of course you’re going to be stressed. It’s okay, they love you too.”

You nodded at his reassuring words as he quickly kissed your lips. You both left the car to get you things that were still in the trunk, you suddenly stilled when he closed it.

“I didn’t thought of that before but… How should I call them?”

“Aaah you worry too much love! Just call them as you did before they knew we were dating, it’s okay.”

You nodded and took you bags trying to calm down. You followed Namjoon until he reached the front door. He took out his keys and opened the door. As he did that and entered first in the house you could hear your heartbeat pounding loudly and you took a deep breath before following him.

“Appa! Eomma! I’m back and I brought back (Y/N)!”

As you took off your shoes you heard footsteps coming towards where you were located, when you rose you head both of his parents were here and Namjoon was kissing them hello.

You slightly bowed you head when they looked at you and quickly took your backpack.

“Hello Mrs. and Mr Kim! I’m glad to see you again… Erm here! I brought you a little something from (country) I hope you will like it.”

Behind them Namjoon laughed silently at your stress and you frowned at him discreetly. His parents told you to come closer and they hugged you. His mother spoke first.

“It’s okay (Y/N)-suh-bang, call us appa and eomma you’ve know us for a while and you’re dating Namjoon!”

You flushed bright as she called you her son-in-law, you weren’t engaged to Namjoon and she called you that way. Behind your boyfriend seemed to tell you with his eyes “See?”, you set your gaze back on his mother and smiled shily at her.

“Ah- A-Alright Mr- Eomma.” The back of your neck was burning as you said that, the new appellation being completely different from what you got used to.

His father stepped next, taking you hand in his and shaking it.

“Thank you for being friend and lover to Namjoon, you seem to take a great care of him, I’m glad he met you (Y/N).”

“I’m the lucky one A-Appa, he’s the one who brighten my days when I have a message of him.”

Namjoon blushed hard as you said that, and you flashed him a little grin. His parents thanked you for the gifts and you thanked them for allowing you to stay here for a little while.

“You can put your things in Namjoon’s bedroom, we will let you be lovebirds! Also, your sister will come later, she’s still in classes.”

Namjoon and you nodded before you moved your things into his bedroom. When all your suitcases where put in his bedroom he caught you off-guard by gripping your face with both his hands and kissing you deeply. You were surprised at first but then you relaxed and deepened the kiss. One of your hand slided around his waist, the other putting itself on his face. You sighed as his tongue poked at your lips and you gladly accepted it. You felt like two teenagers, but it was fair, it’s been a while since you got one of his mind-blowing kisses and you just wanted to pounce on him now. Sadly for you, you were in his parents’ house so it wouldn’t be a good idea to go all the way with his parents close enough to surprise you.

You stopped after a while, both of you panting Namjoon suddenly softly rubbed his nose against yours, making you laugh. He watched you with a little smile and suddenly looked a bit more serious.

“I… I’d like to talk to you about something.”

“Of course, you know I’ll always listen to you.”

He took your hands in his and kissed softly your fingertips.

“I’d like people to know about us.”

“What?”

“I want my fans to know about us, I don’t want to have to hide even more than usually to go on dates with you. I want… I just don’t want to hide anymore, the other members know about us because we’re literally living together and I had to tell them. And the company only know that I have a significant other because . We’ve been together for like 7 years, it’s not fair that we have to hide even more because I just want to claim my love for you from the highest building of Seoul and I just can’t…”

You were shocked at what he said, of course you badly wanted to announce how in love you were with Namjoon but you were also very scared, you knew by watching scandals and all that fans weren’t always happy when and idol dated another. How would it be for an idol and a random who’s a male on the top of that?

“Namjoon… That’s… I’d like to do that, but have you seen how fans reacts to straight couples between two idols? How would they about us? What about your company? If they want us to break up or I don’t know, if they don’t allow you to see me anymore? What about your carrier it could affect the group badly too!”

“I’ve thought about that and I know it could badly impact my carrier but maybe it would help other LGBT+ Koreans to not be scared of affirming themselves, and yeah… I want to tell the world how much you count for me.”

You enveloped him in a hug, your eyes were stinging a little bit from hearing his confession.

“I can’t promise everything will be okay but I’ll be with you through every step of it.”

You nodded and kissed his shoulder; you couldn’t help being worried for his safety and yours. You stood there hugging each other for a few instants.

“Let’s stop thinking about that for the moment, we should just have fun. Let’s chill and you can tell me what you did for the last few weeks.”

You both sat on his bed and talked for a few hours until you fell asleep to him talking about his latest concert.

Later that day Namjoon’s parents came looking for you as his sister arrived home. They lightly knocked and opened when none of you responded and found you intertwined, your head lied on Namjoon’s torso as he was enveloping you protectively. His parents smiled and took a picture before waking up you.

You both went downstairs where you saw his sisters. The five of you ate dinner, talking about everything and nothing but mainly catching up with the family. Once the meal was finished you stayed talking a bit more before you and Namjoon retreated so you could go sleep. You had both discussed with the family about Namjoon doing his coming out and announce your couple and they had agreed that you should talk about that to the other members and mainly to the company. Namjoon had sent a text to his manager asking to talk about your relationship with you being present

Once both of you showered (together of course ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ) you installed the bed and both of you cozied yourself under the blanket and cuddled with Namjoon. You spent a good time kissing and whispering sweet words to each other. After a while you once again fell asleep peacefully together.

The next morning Namjoon woke you up sweetly with soft kisses on your back. You sighed softly as he asked you to wake up so you could take the breakfast with his family. The thought of a real Korean breakfast was making you salivate, it actually had been a while since you ate a real one, as you couldn’t get any fresh ingredients to prepare it in (country).

You were about to put some “normal” clothes when Namjoon told you it wasn’t worth it as everyone would be in pyjamas.

You ate the breakfast with the family, eating a little bit more than usual as you missed that kind of food. After a good half an hour eating and discussing you both left to prepare yourself to the meeting with Namjoon’s manager.

He helped you finding clothes that wouldn’t attract the fans and paparazzi’s attention, hiding the bottom of your face with a mask and putting your hair under a cap. Once you were ready both of you went to the car and you could feel the adrenaline rise inside of you and your body felt suddenly quite hot, and not the pleasurable kind. Namjoon turned his head to look at you and he smiled trying to reassure you.

“I can’t say everything is going to be okay and everyone will accept our relationship easily but I’ll be here for you, I won’t leave you alone with them."

He put his hand on your knee and caressed it with his thumb, trying to calm you down. After half an hour driving in silence, sometimes discussing to reassure you, you arrived in front of Big Hit. Luckily there was a parking underground for employees and idols. Once he parked his car he took your shaking hand in his and kissed it.

“Don’t worry love, I won’t leave your side. Everything is going to be okay.”

_________________

You nodded at him and exhaled a shaky breath before following him outside the car and to the elevator that was going to bring your to your death to where the manager was waiting for you.

A/N: Oh wow finally published this! And I decided to make it a small series of it! Please leave me your thoughts about it!

Well I hope you enjoyed this first part! And don’t hesitate to leave a comment and reblog if you enjoyed it!

[norahastuff]

Just one more post about why the “Cas’ love is unrequited” thing makes no sense, and then I’ll shut up about it. The thing is, Dean and Cas have always been the same thing to each other, so why all of a sudden would that change? Let’s play a game: I’ll list a bunch of things that have textually happened on this show between two characters, let’s call them Fred and Daphne, and you tell me if you can figure out which one of them is Fred and which is Daphne.

So how does Fred see Daphne?

As friends? Yes above all else they are best friends. Daphne’s the best friend he’s ever had.

Kindred spirits? Battle tested companions? Trusted confidantes? Absolutely. Daphne’s proved many times over that he is all these things.

Daphne is someone he forged a bond with almost immediately and recognised how despite being from completely different worlds (dimensions really) how similar they really were. They understood each other in a way that no one else ever really did. Even when it made no sense to trust him or open up to him, he did it anyway.

Fred  has very complicated feelings for Daphne, feelings he could never really articulate but feelings he recognised were different to anything else he’d ever felt for someone before. It was just different with him. And as a result of not being able to properly communicate these feelings both to Daphne as well as to himself it often led to misunderstandings and to Daphne not knowing where he stood with him.

Fred wanted things from Daphne that he didn’t think he could ever give him and at times that got incredibly frustrating. Unbeknownst to him though, that’s exactly how Daphne felt too. He just wanted Fred to say it to him. And oftentimes was dealing with his own struggles with duty, desire, self worth and what he believed he deserved.

How about no matter how intense and mired in pain, duty or darkness he was, just the sound of Fred’s voice saying something so quintessentially Fred made Daphne smile? A moment of peace in the midst of all the intensity. Not an isolated phenomenon but rather something that happened over and over again, to the point where really it was just their role in the other’s life.

Fred wanting Daphne to want to stay. Daphne wanting Fred to want him to stay. Ridiculousness all around.

Beings from every dimension remarking on how Fred and Daphne feel about each other and in fact only claiming it’s unrequited when they’re trying to play on Fred’s insecurities and trying to get him to give up on Daphne.

Fred defending Daphne’s actions when other people couldn’t understand him. Because he did. Even when he was hurting because of the things Daphne was doing, he still understood him. He saw him - they saw each other more clearly than anyone else ever did. In fact the only time he didn’t quite understand him was in relation to how Daphne felt about him, or rather just how deeply he felt about him. I think he understood the general feelings just not quite their magnitude and intensity.

One of his most significant emotional arcs in the final season being to finally untangle how he felt about Daphne and to stop dancing around the issues they’d been steadfastly refusing to address for so many years. Issues that would be raised but then pushed aside either because there was bigger life and death, duty related stuff to deal with or because they were too complicated and it was simpler to just not look to closely at them. They were doing fine with things staying unspoken between them for so long. Except they weren’t and they couldn’t. The box was open now and they couldn’t go back to the way it was before. He had to say it, he needed to say it.

Ok I’m going to stop now, but we all know I could have kept going with more and more examples if I’d wanted to. So do you want to take a guess at who’s Daphne and who’s Fred? Yeah exactly, it doesn’t matter because every single one of these things applies to both of them. Dean and Cas have each been the Fred to the others’ Daphne in every single one of these scenarios. Also of note - not one of the things on that list is me reading into things or deeply veiled subtext - it’s all just stuff that happened on the show.

Anyone trying to claim this is an unrequited story is really going to have to give me a better explanation than “Dean didn’t say it back.” The confession (and the finale I guess) don’t exist in a vacuum. They’re preceded by 12 years of character development and emotional interactions that point to them both seeing each other the same way.

And if you were someone who saw their bond as purely platonic, well I honestly don’t know how considering all of the above as well as things I didn’t mention like mixtapes, endless romantic tropes not to mention the very direct and not at all subtle paralleling of them to the explicitly romantic main heterosexual relationship in the final season between Sam and Eileen, but fine if you saw it as platonic, again I could buy that but it would have to go both ways. Except by Cas unambiguously saying he was in love with Dean, unless you go through some truly ridiculous mental gymnastics, basic deduction skills dictate that Dean feels the same way.

The argument against Dean and Cas never really revolved around an unrequited reading. The argument was “you’re delusional, there’s nothing romantic there just broship.” It’s textual now that there was romance and I personally don’t see any reason to let the narrative be shifted by people who were never going to admit they were wrong to shut down anyone who believed even the potential for that existed in the story. It’s pointless.

(Usual disclaimer that none of this is me excusing or even trying to make sense of the baffling decision not to have Dean and Cas meet again, or for Dean to not even acknowledge Cas’ importance, both to him personally as well as to the story.)

TLDR: Dean said it best when he carved it into the counter in his dream bar