#Even if someone tells me they care i dont feel its true

[ganondoodle]

im watching a (slow) streamer play thorugh elden rings DLC and have barely seen anything more but ... i have seen some vague hints on twitter that theres something up with radahns lore and now im WORRIED/FEAR TM

hes my fav and thought that the lore in the base game was all he would get and i was honestly fine with that (heyo another unpopular(?) one to add to my list of favs lol) and was just happy he was mentioned by name bc that one lady NPC at the start-- BUT NOW??? i dont even know if its true but .............

im not gonna say anything more dw, ... i dont even know more anyway, but feel free to tell me bc the not knowing and then see it get discovered on stream might be worse than any spoiler could be (i dont even care about that much anymore)

[thegreatestheaver]

i love my friends thank you to everyone who is patient and kind to me whenever im busy or weird or having an episode or whatever. i love you

[autisticlee]

it always pisses me off when people start ghosting me and completely cut me off and think i'm annoying because I didn't ~get the hint~ all because they're too much of a coward to be straightforward and honest with me!!!!

i'll keep asking about a thing or when we are hanging out or try to converse with them, because their response is always excuses and not straight up "no" so how am I supposed to know?! either short responses of 1-5 words that I can't really respond to or things like "I'm busy this weekend/I'm too tired today/I forgot about it/we can try next time/I'll get back to you and le you know" are apparently all hints and lies to hide the truth. what they really mean when they tell me this is "no, stop asking. stop talking to me. I do not want to hang out with you or talk to you anymore"

why can't you just say that?! it will save you the annoyance of me asking you 20 times because i took your words at face value. your excuses sound temporary and you didn't get back to me so maybe you forgot. there are rare times people say these things and it's the truth or they really did forget!!!! when I say it, it's the truth. I also have a bad memory. you can't just suddenly ghost me for that! it's on you if you aren't being honest with me. it's up to you to be straightforward and tell the truth so you don't waste both our time. (what's worse is this is usually one of the first things I tell people when we meet. that I need then to be straightforward and honest. they promise they will but that's also a lie)

ghosting is so cruel (when the other person has no bad intentions/isnt causing harm). more cruel than telling me to my face you hate me and never want to speak again! i actually prefer that, so i at least know and can give up on your useless ass and stop wasting my time. don't give me false hope when i'm really excited to be friends and hang out, don't waste my time and energy and efforts, and don't lead me on with lies only to crush my entire soul when I find the truth much later. just say it and get it over with!!!! it's your fault if I annoy you by "not taking the hint" because there was no hint, lying isn't a hint. spill the truth and don't blame me for it!!!!!!

this is why i've given up with people and now only give attention to the ones who contact me first every time continuously, and I put little effort into anything anymore. I know that will end up making some people give up on me by thinking i dont care. but I'm tired of wasting my time and energy on the people who put no effort into me. you must prove yourself and keep doing it or I won't try at all. the people who ghost me and hurt me are to blame. yes, I live a very lonely existence with maybe one friend I talk to once every week or two for a total of 5 minutes at most. yes I wish I had more connections or closer ones. but i'm SO FUCKING TIRED. i'm tired of trying so much and so hard just for people to shit on my efforts and disrespect my needs and boundaries!!!!!!

why should I keep trying when it always ends bad and adds yet another layer to my trauma.

[kamileonik]

slowly realising that i think i won’t make it

[soulpoweredvocalist]

i hate having death related ocd

[phagodyke]

prev post reminds me a friend told me last week she doesnt believe i actually struggle with emotional volatility/dysregulation like ive mentioned before bc shes never seen it firsthand...............

[snekdood]

ppl who say you’re “tainted by your past/upbringing” are hypocrites. yall are not born leftists. not here in this country we know as america. please get your head out of your ass.

[seung-mong]

seung-mong's kinktober 2024!

gulp~ they're right behind me arent they? well... more like on top!

☆BANGCHAN☆

whats your favorite scary movie? - after a mysterious call in the middle of the night threatens to ruin horror movie night with your friends, you cant help shake the feeling that someone's watching your every move. at this point you dont know what's worse: a creepy stalker managing to sneak his way into the house, or how awkward and fidgety chan's been all evening!

includes: ghostface!bangchan x fem!reader, stalking, choking, slight knife play, blood kink, +more!

☆LEEKNOW☆

and so the lion fell in love with the lamb - after moving to romania against your parents' wishes to live a peaceful life with your dying grandfather, your dreams are plagued with visions of pale, almost shimmering skin, droplets of crimson red blood with the taste of the sweetest wine, and sharp fangs that make you sweat in your sleep. your grandfather can only urge you to pray, despite the growing dread in the pit of his stomach at the sight of the bruises that linger on your skin. not to mention the puncture wounds right by the side of your neck!

includes: vampire!leeknow x inexperienced fem!reader, stalking, religious themes, marking, +more!

☆CHANGBIN☆

not all monsters do monstrous things - changbin's been acting different lately, and you're hesitant to talk to him about it. after the accident that left him bloodied and bruised, the last thing you want to do is bring up how he's become so distant lately, passing up on opportunities to hang out, refusing your physical affection, ditching you for the new group of friends that seemed to appear out of thin air. but when he stands you up on your birthday dinner on Halloween, you know he's crossed the line!

includes: werewolf!changbin x fem!reader, childhood best friends trope, depictions of gore and violence, size kink, manhandling, strength kink, + more!

☆HYUNJIN☆

its amazing, the love inside, you take it with you - finally, a space of your own! a safe space for you to practice your spells without accidentally setting your mom's heirlooms on fire. a safe space for you to brew your potions without your mom complaining about the smell and how you're doing it wrong (you've figured). a safe space for you to chat with your cat companion, milo, without your mother rolling her eyes. a safe space... with an awkward, clumsy, GOSSIP of a soul with unfinished business!

includes: ghost!hyunjin x witch fem!reader, voyeurism, pervy hyunjin, subby hyunjin, femdom raahhh, overstimulation, dacryphila, +more!

☆HAN☆

you could be happy here, i could take care of you. i wouldn't let anybody hurt you. we could grow up together! - han thinks hes seeing things. he usually enjoys camping by himself, but when a bright light and a high pitched noise makes his head throb and his nose bleed, he genuinely thinks he could die. now he REALLY thinks hes seeing things because.. is that someone falling from the sky? after deciding to sleep on it, he meets you. and uh, oh yea. he's definitely seeing things!

includes: loser nerd!han x alien fem!reader, subby hanji, han jisung is a SIMP LOSER, bondage, use of some kind of aphrodisiac, choking, +more!

☆FELIX☆

absence makes the heart grow fonder…or forgetful - never being one to believe in fairytales, you were the only one in your village brave enough to explore the thick woods across the train tracks just south of your home. finally, a place where you can think in silence, with no one to disrupt your writing. when the creatures of the forest begin to make themselves known to you, you ignore all the signs telling you to run. especially when the so-called evil trickster fairy is the most beautiful boy you've seen in your life!

includes: faery!felix x fem!reader, kinda inexperienced felix, lowkey corruption kink (litrally if u squint), felix has wings (that r sensitive), overstim, +more!

☆SEUNGMIN☆

this is true love- do you think this happens everyday? - seungmin is too young for this, he thinks. the youngest prince to take the crown in centuries, and the war between his kingdom and the kingdom of the forest is intensifying. his people are going missing, and he has no idea what to do. it does not help that the king of the forest scares him shitless. he turns to you for help, the last witch of your line- you can thank his family for that!

includes: prince!seungmin x witch fem!reader, kinda enemies to lovers (the trope belongs to him i fear), hatefucking, biting, bondage, +more!

☆JEONGIN☆

we all go a little mad sometimes. haven't you? - you really should have filled up your gas tank. your car breaks down in the middle of nowhere, and the storm outside only further dampens your spirits. its dark and empty for miles, besides the little light that flickers on the side of the road. you brave the journey on foot, shivering, and soaking wet. your heart drops when you see the shelter, old and run down. thank god the young gentleman inside is kind enough to offer you a bed for the night!

includes: serial killer!jeongin x fem!reader, primal play, fear play, choking, knife play, jeongin is really rouch, +more!

☆INTERLUDES☆

got a horror concept for a fic? dont be shy and request! (submissions open until september 20)

wanna get tagged? (specify the kinktober special!)

[princessbrunette]

puppy!reader trying to break up with rafe or just distancing herself because she overheard someone saying they couldn’t understand how rafe could be with a pogue and it hurts her feelings and has her overthinking :( (obviously rafe later on gets her to tell him who said that and he deals with it)

꒰ ౨ৎ .ᐟ .ᐣ ᡣ𐭩

he was used to you being all over him. if you weren’t constantly yapping in his ear, you were using him like a climbing frame, subtly rubbing your needy cunt on his leg or trying to stick a body part of his in your mouth. so, the difference in your behaviour all of a sudden was palpable.

you’d been at the country club. not particularly because you liked it there, you knew despite recently joining the kook life people still saw you as less than — but you had to say, the icecream they served was top notch, and you wouldn’t keep yourself away despite being told off plenty of times by rafe for overdoing it on the sugar and then getting hyperactive.

you step away from the counter with your cone, smiling to yourself at the small victory when your ears picks up on a conversation round the corner. you stop in your tracks, realising it’s about you.

“i mean she’s definitely hot, i’ll give him that. in like, a weird way. she’s got the whole ‘fuck me daddy’ thing going on, you know. she’s helpless. rafes gotta be fuckin’ her.” a kook you didn’t even recognise comments, sipping at his beer.

“dont be weird, bro.” another turns his nose up.

“its true! i dont care man, i know rafe — he fuckin’ hates pogues, he wouldn’t be caught dead with one, ‘specially not one as obvious as her. the girls a mess, and mommy and daddy suddenly coming into money ain’t gonna change that about her.”

your heart sinks as you continue to listen to the berating. in the north carolina heat, icecream didn’t stay structurally sound for long — and you’re only dragged out of your eavesdropping session when the dome of strawberry icecream slides straight off its podium, splatting on the floor besides your sandals, leaving you with just the cone in your hand. you stare down at it, barely registering the loss.

you’d overthought it— something rather uncommon of you. when a few hours had passed, and rafe hadn’t had you hurtling through his front door with a ladybug on your finger or something of the sorts, he actually wondered where you might be— so he showed up at your door.

you wasn’t expecting him. he never chased you, always letting you come to him first — but something felt off, and his curiosity got the better of him.

“w—what is this, you not comin’ over to bother me today?” he shakes his head and your brows crease, staring at the eldest cameron in your doorway.

“no…” you reply quietly, even going the extra length to avoid his eyes. you weren’t trying to be obvious about it, but you couldn’t help that you were upset. he stares at you for a moment, unnerved by your unusual mood.

“…well can i come in or what?”

you allow him, purely because despite your mood you didn’t like to be impolite.

“whats up with you? i already told you to stop watchin’ those animal planet documentaries, kid. they upset you, alright i—”

“i wasn’t.” you snap, and he looks over — your tone grabbing his attention from wandering around your living room, seeing you standing in the corner clutching yourself like you didn’t know what to do. you were so used to being all over him that standing by yourself felt odd.

he scratches his cheek awkwardly, eyes flickering over you. “shit, you mad at me or somethin’?”

slowly, you sit down on the couch, tucking your feet beneath you.

“i’m just trying to give you space.”

he huffs a laugh out from his chest, thinking you’re joking — but his smile fades a little when he sees that you’re not. “yeah? you were all over me yesterday, now what — you shy?”

“i’m a pogue.” you raise your voice over his just a tad, bringing your knees to your chest. the statement catches him off guard, and he sways awkwardly on the spot, watching you.

“yeah no shit. so what.” he drawls, and his agreement stings.

“you hate pogues. so… you hate me.” you draw the conclusion and he fights an eyeroll, walking over to where you’re sat briskly.

“listen if i hated you you’d fuckin’ know about it, alright? i don’t hate you. you’re a pain in my ass, but… but nah.” he shakes his head, settling down on the seat next to you and pushing his hair back, not enjoying the idea of being vulnerable. it made him a little uncomfortable. “where… where is this coming from anyways? since when did you give a shit ‘bout all that?”

“since the people at the club were saying stuff.” you mutter, and now he’s really invested. his head snaps towards you, arm freezing in the air from pushing his hair out of his face. he could tolerate the weird moods, but he wouldn’t tolerate people disrespecting you or him.

“huh?”

your lip starts to tremble at the memory, voice growing higher as you speak. “there was a group of boys, and they were saying i was a mess and that im nothing and that you had to be fucking me because that’s the only thing i could offer you and i dropped my icecream and—”

“what?” he turns his whole body towards you as you let out a quiet sob, wide eyes darting between your wet one.

“i dropped my icecream!”

“no— kid, who was saying this shit?” his outrage is somewhat comforting and you sniffle, wiping your snotty nose on the back of your hand.

“i don’t know his name. he had a green shirt on.”

he leans back in his seat for a moment, wiping hands down his face — a little frustrated with your inability to identify the culprits. he pushes his palms into his eyes for a moment, realising it’s not your fault — and you were already upset. sighing out his nose, he looks at you once more, shuffling as close to you as he can.

“quit listenin’ to nobodies at the club, a’ight? you… you think people don’t say shit about me? running their mouth about my private business? they — they do, alright— but what i don’t do is cry about it n’let them think they won. i handle that shit, like i’m gonna handle this.”

you blink at him, hanging onto his every word. you really were adorable, and as much as he’ll never admit it, his heart softens at how sweet you were by nature. you didn’t deserve to be picked on by people that weren’t him.

“how do you know who they are?” you tilt your head, really emulating a puppy and he presses his lips together, shrugging a shoulder and shaking his head.

“uh, you’re gonna point ‘em out next time we go to the club. i’ll… i’ll handle it from there.”

you nod, hating that you’ve caused any kind of conflict at all, eyes drifting towards as you burrow yourself into thoughts of guilt. before you can think too much, rafe grips your jaw — meaning well, but still carrying that boyish roughness. “hey. you’re my girl, alright? i don’t let shit slide.”

he’d never called you his girl before, so instantly — you’re all sniffly smiles, launching at him to clamber onto his lap once more.

꒰ ౨ৎ .ᐟ .ᐣ ᡣ𐭩

[basilpaste]

okay this isnt gonna be a coherent post please forgive me but i want to. talk about isabeau and the mask that he wears because it hits me SO hard in the chest.

all of it, the fact that he doesnt confess, the fact that he plays an idiot, the way he tries to come off as bold and brave? its all an act! siffrin, when going through his friendquest enough times, literally goes "you aren't the only actor in this play". its all a facade! its all fake! or, well, its not all fake, but its all stuff he kind of puts on. some of it is fake it till you make it, of course! some of it... isnt.

because thats another thing siffrin is right about! isabeau is a coward. isabeau is a coward who wants so desperately to be liked that he pretends he isnt one. hell throw himself into the line of fire when the people he cares about are at risk, sure, but when it comes to himself? he keeps himself sealed up under lock and key. he wont confess to siffrin because hes scared of letting the feelings out there, he tells mira that hes 'too stupid' to worry, he lets odile tell him that they dont count on him to know things. because hes worried that if people know who he actually is, with all the dumb buff and goofy exterior, they'll hate him.

"doesnt that feel like someone you wouldnt feel ashamed of knowing?" he says that to siffrin, someone he has a romantic interest in. thats something he genuinely believes someone he respects could think about him. isabeau likes himself better than he used to, sure, but he clearly isnt as comfortable with himself as hell lead you to believe. i also think it shows in how he reacts to siffrins outburst in act five!!! he outright says that its all true! even if it was mean, if it hurt, it was also accurate to him as a person. isa is comfortable with himself, he likes himself, but he doesnt... love himself. and its hard to believe that other people love you when you feel that way. even if, like isa, you know rationally that they do.

hes smart and stamps out that intelligence, hes emotionally intelligent in all matters but his own. his heart is so big to compensate for how small he used to feel. and sometimes he still feels that small. but he can always change, cant he? he can always move forward.

[sukunasweetheart]

That schoolboy sukuna art you reblogged got me thinking🤔its a bit basic but still😵‍💫 tsundere bully!sukuna being so mean to popular!reader cause he likes her‼️ Anytime one of his friends suggest that he likes her, he gets 10x meaner. Meanwhile reader genuinely thinks the dude that just tore up her homework HATES her. Then one day he goes too far and really embarrasses her so she starts crying while her friends try to comfort her (he threw dirty water on her or something🤷‍♀️) Obviously readers had enough of him so she confronts him the next time they see each other alone, only for that dude to end up blurting out how much he likes her. Readers standing there flabbergasted😦🧍‍♀️ and then tells him off (he deserves it💀) . They dont see each other until their highschool reunion 5 years later(?) Sukunas matured alot but of course readers still hesitant to even talk to him. Blahblahblah he apologizes, reader forgives him after they hang out a few times and then BOOM dating‼️

This was such a anticlimactic end but i hope you get what i mean. Reader doesn't start liking him until monthsss after the reunion. Sukuna still seeing her as his first love/crush except he's not a weirdo about it anymore. And cause he probably just threw all his focus on taking over the family business (this is canon gege told me)

Literally i lowk fw this idea sooo hard... like childhood bully that grows up around you, little sukuna has always been a harrassing you ever since youve moved into the neighbourhood, and it carries over into highschool as well...

Its like, to the point where you have personal beef with him, always ready to square up when he's around...

but the fact that he never has his lackeys with him when he does bully you, and the one time someone did try to give you some silly treatment while he was watching, he gave him the beating of his life behind closed doors...

Sukuna having silly wet dreams of you and then being extra mean the next day. You retaliate physically, giving dainty little punches and kicks, you know, the kind that does zero damage, but for some reason he backs off easier than usual that day and walks away, muttering something under his breath, something that you can't quite hear clearly.

after all those years of pretending to hate you by calling you names and teasing you relentlessly, sukuna has the gall to confess right after graduation. he just blurts it out kind of accidentally, in the spur of the moment, because he feels like it'll be his last chance to ever come true with his feelings.

except, he ends up getting the scolding of his life, as you tell him off for the pestering way he's treated you, only for him to turn around and tell you he has feelings for you?! you tell him that it was cowardly of him, and he should take this as a lesson to treat the people he likes better, before turning on your heel and leaving him in the dust. you're his first love, and also his first heartbreak.

couple of years later, there's a highschool reunion happening, and although you wanted to avoid it because of the awkwardness of having to meet sukuna, you still ended up going because you really miss your old highschool friends.

you're at a nice restaurant with your buddies, enjoying your time, yet also noticing sukuna's missing presence in the back of your mind... you probably think he's not coming to avoid you. not that you care for it.

things were going smoothly, but then he eventually did show up. late to the party, as if he were the protagonist... everyone goes silent for a moment when he shows up, because he's arguably changed the most out of you all...

the rather bold tattoos done all over his body, piercings, and the black nail polish, how much he's bulked up in muscle. and that black button-up shirt is... well, very erotic. no longer that awkward, juvenile teenager you've always pictured him as. sukuna was never ugly per se, but goodness, this kind of glow up was really unexpected. and it turned out that he ended up taking over his family business, which kept him quite busy the past few years.

you catch his eye for a moment across the table, but you quickly look the other way. maybe he might've gotten hotter over the years, but you're not sure about that damn personality of his.

it seemed like he was finding it difficult to approach you in front of everyone else - he chases after you only when the meeting is over, and everyone had begun to go home. you feel a little nervous about the encounter, but the first thing he does is apologise, which gets you feeling a lot better about him as a person. sometimes, time does change a person.

and then sukuna tells you he wants to take you out for a meal, and asks you for your number... your old, easygoing self takes over for a moment. certainly a meal or two wouldn't hurt, would it?

(sukuna goes home and starts kicking his feet in bed that night, after scoring your number - beginning his lovesick era.)

[mxqdii]

matt sturniolo headcannons

pairings: matt sturniolo x reader

summary: headcannons!

warning(s): mentions of mental health, fluff

not proofread

matt would def be the type of boyfriend to just ALWAYS be touching you, like i know it's said, but it is very true. his hand is either on your thigh, his fingers interlocked with yours, or just touching you in some way.

if theres any insomniacs here or just in general people who have trouble sleeping, matt would be there awake with you playing with your hair until you fall asleep.

if you're anxious or if anything is bothering you, you dont even have to tell matt and he just knows. i feel like he would definitely have you studied, the way you act when you're uncomfortable, the way you act when you're sad, everything.

pet names. matt is a big user of pet names, i can picture him calling his partner "baby" and "love" the most, but a few sweetheart and beautiful's would slip out.

long conversations are a definite.

you would be having a bad day and just see matt and break

"baby what happened? talk to me."

"its okay, you're okay." he says stroking the back of your head

you two would very much lean on each other when needed, he would have bad days and just times where he would be more quiet, and all he wants is to be near you.

this is very controversial but in my opinion i feel like matt wouldn't be completely against pda. in public there would be hand holding, short and sweet pecks, etc. nothing too crazy but i know he wouldn’t just stop touching you the minute you two leave the house.

in private though? this man is so clingy. kisses everywhere, always cuddling, his hand on your thigh, hugs, etc.

you in the car vids and vlogs (if you're comfortable with that.) occasionally sitting in the front with matt if you survive the war for it with chris.

chris always making jokes on how you're a home wrecker and how you stole his bf (he loves you though)

you taking care of sick matt and them him spreading his sickness to you the next week, getting each other sick has happened on multiple occasions.

can get VERYY jealous and/or overprotective, jaw WILL be clenched and he'll either get quiet or possessive.

you, matt, nick & chris have sleepovers in the living room and watch movies together, you always end up seeing pictures of you and matt cuddling when you wake up.

holidays with matt are unforgettable. this boy would always get such perfect gifts for you every. single. year.

i see a lot of fics where matt cheats on the reader, but being honest... he would never. matt loves his s/o too much to hurt them and i just cant picture him cheating or playing somebody.

now what would happen is matt being too scared to admit his feelings for you, !!!!mutual pining!!!! is a definite. (unless u bold)

speaking of mutual pining, tropes for a matt relationship would definitely be friends to lovers. like growing up with the triplets then falling for matt.

if you're also a youtuber he would appear in your videos constantly, AND would help you film whenever you need.

he finds it so adorable how much you love his tattoos, i saw someone write a blurb saying reader would color in his tats and i ADORE that idea so much.

him watching you look so focused as you use the colors on his arm, tucking your hair behind your ear when it falls, smiling non stop, etc.

[goremojiz]

Hey, by the way, there is ZERO shame in hating being autistic.

It is wonderful that the community allows for positive self image and self identification with being autistic, and its great that people are encouraged to find the light and be proud of who they are.

But there is no shame in hating having autism.

It's ok to say you SUFFER or STRUGGLE with autism

It's ok to wish you never had autism

It's ok to not disclose that you are autistic

It's ok to not have any pride in being autistic

It's ok to wish you could be 'cured' of autism*

What its NOT ok to do is push toxic positivity and identifiers on people you dont even know, generalizing everyone to be happy with and/or proud of being autistic is fucked up, because the WORLD WAS NOT MADE FOR AUTISTIC PEOPLE, which means autistic people are BOUND to SUFFER OR STRUGGLE in the world, denouncing that with toxic autistic positivity WILL NOT SOLVE THESE ISSUES.

"You can still accept and be proud of your autistic identity while these things are true!" LITERALLY MISSING THE POINT. People DO NOT have to be happy with their autism or positively identify as autistic to live a fulfilled life. I live with autism. That is ALL IT IS. Autism does not make me a worse or better person. It does not make me a happier or more positive person, and personally, it does not give me ANY REASON to be prideful.

What autism DOES is make it harder to live in a neurotypical world, which will CLEARLY make me resent its existence in my life, and i should be allowed to feel that way without people shoving cupcakes and rainbows down my throat.

I would never tell someone they should be ashamed of being autistic, or should be angry at their autism, or hate their autism, god forbid id ever tell anyone they should want to be CURED of autism.*

But god fucking forbid i ever ask the same of the opposite side. Stop shoving the "positives" of being autistic at me! Stop indoctrinating me with your pride! I feel the way i feel about my autism, and you feel the way you do about yours. You have no right to tell me IM wrong. You will never live with MY autism, you will never be in MY shoes, you will never experience what I experience. I am so happy that you are happy, but you cannot force this horse to drink your goddamn water.

All this to end with, i do not feel insecure over my autism, i am not ashamed of my autism, i do not hate myself because i am autistic, autism is a neutral force in my life and i do not care for it. What i CARE about is the world i live in not accomodating me, and it will not fully accomodate me for as long as i am alive, so yes, i DO wish i could get rid of my autism, even if it gets rid of "a crucial part of me" or i change forever, that is an opinion i am entitled to hold.

* Contrary to some beliefs, i DO actually HATE mega corps ( autismspeaks ) attempting to find cures for autism! I DO understand the problem with these things, the problem being non autism people wanting to cure ALL autistic people. I am NOT supporting these beliefs by wishing i PERSONALLY was cured of autism. Do not try and educate me on the morals of EVER finding a cure! Dont try and educate me on the SCIENCE of being able to cure autism! This is a PURE hypothetical where maybe people could be allowed to ethically decide on their own without neurotypicals shoving anti autistic treatments down their throats.

[gavisfanta]

can you do 8 with gavi plz!!

p.s love love ur storyss they are sl good:)))

STAY - GAVI

Doing these prompts, you can write a request by saying which number and a player i should write it with. I do every prompt once so please check before requesting!!

day 8 - arguing with one another

Another exhausting day for Gavi ended when he finally went home. Everything he thought about in that second he stepped through the door was to cuddle with you and fall asleep.

However that dream of his was shortly ruined after he saw you smiling at your phone. That wasn't the main problem, you looked cute sitting on the sofa, giggling at your phone, it was almost like you were talking to someone.

"Hey babe" He smiled widely and went closer to you, at the point where he was even standing in front of you.

You didn't give him much attention, just looked up at him for a second and mumbled a short "hello".

Gavi would have gone in for a hug but he was to annoyed now. With that he left you there with a scoff, just as he wanted to go up the stairs he turned around again.

"You know I was excited to see you, but that's ruined now." Gavi shortly let you know and you stood up immediately to walk closer to him. Your brows knit together as you looked at him.

"Why are you mad now? I didn't do anything?" You asked, raising your voice a little bit.

"Yeah, except for not even giving me a hug when I come home. We didn't use to be like this Y/n." Gavi said and turned around but you stopped him.

"Gavi dont fucking walk away now. What do you mean we didn't use to be like this? We still love eachother right?" You asked him, while saying the last sentence your voice shaked a little bit.

"I'm not so fully convinced about you." He muttered and your jaw dropped.

"You think I don't love you?" You asked and he shrugged his shoulders as a response. "Woah, okay, because I tried everything to make you feel loved, but one time when i dont hug you when you come home I don't love you anymore? Did you forget that yesterday I literally waited in the doorway for you to arrive." You convinced him, his gaze softened as he looked at the floor.

"Who were you talking to then?" He raised his eyebrows, the soft gaze gone again as he looked up at you.

"Why do you care." You answered in a harsher tone than you had anticipated.

"I care because we're in a relationship if you havent noticed yet, its because I care for you. We used to tell eachother everything and now you cant even tell me who youre talking to?" Gavi pointed at himself with his hand while moving his head slightly forward.

"I care for you too, but you're seriously getting mad at me for not jumping up and hugging you the first second I see you?" You asked and took a step closer to him. Your blood basically boiling by how stupid he could be sometimes. You didn't yell at him, you're not much of a yelling person.

"Ah," Gavi scoffed and turned around once again, walking up the stairs to the bedroom. You tried to call for him to stop but he didn't listen. You followed him into the bedroom and stood in front of him while he changed his shirt.

"You don't need to distract yourself with me, don't worry, go on and talk to those other men." Gavi made a motion with his hand and your jaw dropped once again. Suddenly it was silent, Gavi expected an answer from you, it didn't come, every second that passed he thought to himself. "Now, in a second, when is the answer coming?"

It never came, and as he turned around to look at you, he saw you, staring at him with glossy eyes. "You think I am cheating on you?" You asked with a shaky voice. You turned your head away as you felt a few tears rolling down your cheeks. Having your boyfriend who you loved more than everything and anything think that you could even think about cheating on him is bad, but his basically telling to your face that he had caught you cheating even tho its not true is worse.

Suddenly everything in your body switched off, you calmed down, your pulse went down again and then it was just that tight feeling in your throat and that awful ringing in your ears.

"You know Gavi, I love you but it's so freaking hard sometimes." And with that you walked past him and out the door. Uncontrollable tears now streaming down your face.

Meanwhile Gavi was still stood in the middle of his room, looking at the door you went through. Just a few seconds later he heard the door being closed and then followed by your car turning on and driving away.

"Fuck." Gavi muttered under his breath as he threw back his head. He knew he had messed up, he knew damn well that he went too far.

The bad thing for him was that he had absolutely no idea where you went, he tried to call you but as awaited, you didn't pick up.

He was still a bit confused as to why you just wouldnt tell him who you were talking to, but he knew he had to make it up to you, he just didn't know how. yet.

Meanwhile you were already on the other side of Barcelona, sitting on your friends couch. Luckiky Mikky and you were home alone because Frenkie wanted to meet up with his friends.

So there you sat crying, the person who understood you the most patting your back and telling you that it was gonna be okay.

No matter how strong your bond with Gavi was, Mikky had a view of life he could never have. That was because Mikky and you had one major thing in common. That was dating a famous footballer.

She knew all the cons that came with it and she knew how to react. During the time of being with Frenkie for more than 10 years she learnt some things.

She was the one to calm you down when the press started blaming you for Gavi's bad game, she was the one to calm you down after Gavis fans started to hate on you just because you were in a relationship with him.

And you hated to even think about it but Gavi would have never been able to calm you down those times. He lived with it, they taught you to play under pressure in La Masia, they taught you to handle the hate, but what they didn't teach you in La Masia was how people around you feel, people that didn't grow up in the academy and don't know how to handle that.

That's why you immediately stopped crying as soon as you stepped into Mikkys house. "Should I make you a tea? I know you loved the berry one." She smiled while pointing at you and walking into the kitchen. You followed her and sat down on the other side of the island in her kitchen.

So you two kept chatting with the low rumbling of the boiling water in the background. And as soon as the water was hot enough, she poured it into a cup and gave you a teabag. You put the teabag into the hot water and then kept on chatting with her.

Immediately you forgot everything that happened to you, every word that was said between you and Gavi in the last hour.

That's what you loved about being friends with her, she made you forget all your worries. Not that Gavi was a worry for you, but it was good to get a break from the futbolista.

"Here, put some honey in it, it's way better than sugar." Mikky grabbed a jar of honey out of her cabinet and walked over to you with a spoon in the other hand.

"Thank you" You smiled after she stirred it in and went to sit down in front of you. The rest of the one hour that you spent at her place contained of you two gossiping about your friend group and of course the players.

There were always some stuff Frenkie knew and Gavi didn't, you two knew everything that happened because of the constant gossip sessions. Luckily Frenkie and Gavi didn't know about their girlfriends telling their news to the others girlfriend because you two thought of it better as a secret.

And after it was time for you to go, you said goodbye and soon found yourself infront of your house with the keys in your hand.

Stepping into the house and closing the door behind you, you didnt hear anything other than the fridge buzzing quietly and the bugs making those noises from outside

That was until you entered the upper floor and heard tiktok playing in the bedroom, all the lights were turned off so you had to move around in the dark.

As soon as you stepped into the bedrooms doorframe Gavi's eyes shot up at you from his screen. He didnt think for a second before standing up and walking over to you.

"I'm sorry for not telling you a proper hello and also hiding who I was texting to." You immediately began and he nodded his head. You knew you were in the wrong, you knew that you had made the mistake.

"It's okay." Gavi took a step closer to you and pulled you into a heartfelt hug. Your arms tightened around his body, the best part after a fight was always making up, that hug couldn't be replaced by anything. When you hold him again after you held a grudge against him for a couple of hours. The relieving feeling you feel when you realize that "Everything is gonna be okay." Gavi's words made you smile as he leaned down and kissed your cheek.

Maybe everything does always turn out fine.

[savthemusic]

i need to put this somewhere that someone might see is someday so a part of my story can be told.

a couple days ago, i was on the verge of taking my life.

i had the pills in my hand and nearly downed the rest of the bottle before calling it a night. i didnt tell anyone. i didnt have anyone to tell. didnt write a note or anything cuz i figured nobody would care about what i had to say, they never cared before. all my life ive lived in an abusive household, always looking over my shoulder wondering if id suddenly set my stepdad off, never knowing what would make him tick. threats on my life had been made many times for small things, i never knowing if getting a glass of water would be the last thing i do. ive also been struggling internally with my gender and my identity, who i wanna be, what i wanna do. ive made attempts to take my life before, none of them successful, but i didnt expect to make it past 20. i always told myself if i wasnt out by 20 id just get it over with. im about to be 21 soon and i didnt plan to even be here, i have no direction, i dont know who i want to be. ever since i was a child i've always had flickers in my mind of wanting to be a girl, wishing i was born a girl, maybe id fit in. all of my friends have always been girls and id get teased for it by the adults in my life. calling me a "ladies man" and stuff like that, i hated it. not only did i hate that i didnt fit in with them enough to just be friends, i hated being considered a man. i didnt find out what "transgender" was until middle school and soon the pieces all clicked together but i had to hide it. from friends, from family and eventually from myself. my stepdad has told me many times that if he were to find out i was gay or anything that he'd kill me on the spot. just the thought of what he'd do if i told him i was a girl made me feel sick, so i hid. all of this has built up until the other day i decided id rather no longer live than continue to live like this.

i remembered seeing online people talking about a movie that every trans person must see. I Saw the TV Glow. i decided to watch it, it'll be the last thing i do. cross off one last thing on my forever-incomplete bucket list.

the movie saved me. if it werent for this movie i wouldnt be here today typing this. i related with the MC in every way and it hurt to see her live the life i wanted to avoid. i cried. i cried for the rest of that night, i apologized to people in my life and let them know i appreciate them and i vowed that i wouldnt let myself fall down the path of hiding from my true self until its too late. "there is still time". that quote has been playing in my mind ever since that night. ive had regrets of not ending it that night, knowing that if i did i wouldnt be feeling this way anymore, but the quote is true. just a few more years and i'll be out of this house, out of this state that wants me dead, i'll be free.

my mind is drifting, starting to overthink, i'll cut the story here, but i just wanted it to be known that anyone that comes across this that even tho things are hard now you just need to keep holding out, patience will pay off in time. even if things change and i end up grabbing that bottle of pills again or if my stepdad does it instead i'll know that at least my story is out there.

there is still time.

[noihavenosanitythanksforasking]

ableism in mha

okay so i was scrolling and i came across this post and it helped me reorganize a lot of thoughts ive been thinking sense i first started mha. ive always been not a fan of izuku getting ofa in the first place as it felt to me as it almost completely erased any meaning of his backstory. it felt like such a plot armor/mary sue moment but in the end i got over it, assuming that most likely he would loose it at one point (i was right but we'll get to that later).

after he enters UA its almost as if his entire past is just like- not important?? i have plenty of hcs about his suppressed trauma and if you read into a lot of the situations he goes thru in the manga i can see it but is not blatantly said/expressed that he struggles with a complex from how he was treated as a child.

in the end mha becomes a manga mostly focused on some sort of version of not judging a person by their cover. The fact that a technically "villainous" quirk does not make someone a bad person.

now ofc this is totally true. no one should be overlooked or declined rights or decency because of the quirk they have. this lesson is a valid one.

the analogy i have made up in my head is this.

people who are born with "hero-like" or "useful" quirks, for example: bakugou, todoroki, hawks etc are beautiful people

(for the context of this metaphor ignore the fact that beauty is complex and is in the eye of the beholder just roll with me)

and then you have the people with "useless" or average quirks that are just average people

and then you have people like toga or shinsou with quirks that are seen as inherently dangerous. quirks that are unable to be used for good. those are the ugly people.

now obviously we shouldnt discriminate people just because society says they are ugly. there is no doubt in that and it is a tragedy that it happened and still happens.

however

20% of the population cannot even fall onto this scale. the quirkless. aka the disabled. they are not even seen as being worth a label on the scale because they are so disgusting and strange that no one wants to remember yhey exist.

i wouldnt be as upset by the lack of talk about quirkless people if izuku wasnt quirkless, if the first arc of mha wasnt izuku struggling with the fact that no one in the world cares about him but his mom and that not even her believes he can achieve anything because of his disability.

the whole set up was izuku wanted to be a hero DESPITE his disability. even though truly he thought it was impossible. he didnt work out, he didnt try and do anything to become a hero because he believed everyone was right. that what society had been telling him his whole life was true and he couldnt be a hero. but he wanted to despite that. that was the hook of mha. at least for me.

a bullied lonely boy with a disability achieves his dream despite society. despite being told at every turn that he couldnt do it. he said he can and he does.

but thats not what happened at all.

instead some pillar of all that is heroic drops down from the sky and magically cures his disability. and suddenly hes just a normal kid.

and suddenly we forget all about midoriya izuku and how hard it is to be quirkless. how much quirkless people struggle. how many of them must commit suicide because of yhe seeming completely normalized harassment of them in everyday life.

and i dont want to blame izuku for this because in the end hes a kid with trauma who just wants to fit in. its frankly quite obvious that he whole heartedly agrees with bakugou and everyone else from his past that yeah quirkless people are useless.

the way he treated Melissa in the movie broke my heart. he belittled her like it was second nature and while he obviously had no malicious feelings toward her because of her quirklessness he sees her as a second class citizen. hes surprised that she is able to achieve things despite her disability. that she manages to be happy in a world where she isnt "normal".

and again in the long run i dont truly blame izuku for feeling this way. like everyone he is a product of his environment.

again, however:

i do blame horikoshi

do we need to be nicer to people with villainous quirks: yes ofc

but your manga isnt about that. your manga is about someone whose seen as even less than that. you can address both issues.

having bakugou break down about izuku becoming quirkless was good but that was pretty much all we got.

and what happenes when izuku looses ofa?? he gives up on being a hero.

how the hell does that make sense

everyone in japan knows this boys name. he is considered a top hero. and he just drops off the face the hero scene?

hatsume exists??? izukus face has been in her boobs TWICE for gods sake. yaoyorozu can make things out of thin and are they had to wait 8 years.

izuku is too smart to not think of that.

it would take hatsume 3 days max.

and ignoring that whole point again hori is pushing the idea that bakugou and everyone from aldera were CORRECT. that yeah u were right to think the quirkless of useless cause like they cant do anything :3c

izuku has had NO growth this whole manga. all hes learned is how to hit things how to kick things and awww kacchan sad :(((.

nothing about believing in himself. nothing about how he can be a hero despite the odds. nothing even about the power of friendship helping him to overcome.

im just like wtf hori.