#i dont have to surround myself with people who only want me for what i can do or give. i can surround myself with people who love ME

[oh-cramity-its-amity]

i love my friends so much. i feel like yesterday i had a lot of shit going on in my head and i woke up to my friend explaining things in a way that put my mind at ease. i dont feel as anxious anymore because i know i was overthinking. i think my dad said it best when he told me that he thought my wonderful brain of mine just wants to think problems are bigger than they actually are. he is right! im just inexperienced in life and half of the time im scared im doing something wrong but- HEY. i need to be more confident in making mistakes. making mistakes doesn't define me as a person!! i need to stop worrying about doing life right and just live for the sake of living and doing what makes me happy!!!!!!!

[thegreatestheaver]

i love my friends thank you to everyone who is patient and kind to me whenever im busy or weird or having an episode or whatever. i love you

[tgcg]

this is my element (+ album)

asking me to pick my fave album is like asking an orphan matron to pick her favorite baby boy

thats some weird and cruel circumstances to put upon me i feel like it changes every damn week like a rota

i mean what if my beats misbehave and i gotta put 'em in time out i cant play permanent on that theyre too cute

but yknow what i can show you one thing thats been on my mind lately

===

so when i was a kid we had this skateboard vid by "element skateboards" on DVD

they were this skateboard kit slash apparel company that was all about progressivism and shit and they did these much lauded comp tapes of dudes riding around on their boards and doing the dopest of macho tricks on the shit

flipping it turnways

putting the rock in the house like a big man

we had some of their merch actually

===

so anyways the one we had back then was This Is My Element

released 2007

mostly clips from cali i think and i mean the camerawork is fucking insane on some of those shots

this is gonna sound lame as fuck but i prob spent so many cumulative hours just peelin through the footage and ogling the shit outta it

that framing was tight

===

so you may be asking yourself or me

dave you genuine dicksucker i asked about your fav album not your favorite sordid ass display of smooth dudes hardcore riding and grinding them boards in public dude you have a problem

ok well that wasnt a question first of all so jot that down

but anyways to THAT i say

listen to the music

the whole thing has an original soundtrack of ambient beats

got some abstract hip hop jams, got some more indie stuff, lots of acoustic sampling

HELLA underground

and basically every track minus one is done by sampler beast david p. madson AKA "odd nosdam"

dude is my hero seriously

he is the master of the beat machine i shit you not hes always been kinda my idol on this stuff

aside from bro obviously

===

obviously.

===

anyways he had an E-mu SP-1200 which is a really oldschool sampler invented by dave rossum in the late 80s

revolutionary to the hip hop scene

nosdam had this mega distinct sound to his music that i always wanted to replicate on my own beats

still do

i dont know for sure if he used it on T.I.M.E. but he uses some of the same samples from "vol. 9" which was exclusively SP-1200 so im gonna get a lil j’accuzi on that

it couldve been a boss dr sampler SP-202 though idk

he had one of those

===

so aside from beating the shit out of the pause/resume button to flip my whole cranium at the cinematography or whatever i would also kinda play it on loop to listen to the soundtrack and space out at 2am

the lonely broner seemed to free his mind at night

ok shit broner is good but i didnt mean it like that

that was goofy lets just keep movin

it was the only way i had to listen to it back then but i mean the video is 50 mins long so its basically just an odd nosdam album with accompanying ambient skater sounds and random expletives and whatever

random car sequence

yknow what i dont think people respect enough?

the dude who catches all the "mad stunts yo" on camera

i swear to god at least half the time hes ALSO on a board and that shit is bananas to me

bros gotta be on some whole other level of zen to skate good AND catch all them glamor shots of his fellow skater

thats like an express ticket to the ER imo

the ambulance is already on the scene watching you like an eager crow watches a half dead dog

===

ok gonna go ahead and lay it out flat

not great on a board myself

kinda dogshit at it actually

so maybe im not exactly an arbitrator of skateboard heinousness

but i always kinda liked watching THEM do it i mean who doesnt?

whats an even crazier layer to stack on the "dave" cake is

and dirk told me this because unfortunately it kinda happened post-2009

he would do all these collabs with one of my childhood favorite underground rappers david cohn aka serengeti

surrounded by daves left and right dude even before all the time travel horseshit

thats like

serendipitous as fuck i think!

===

if sburb was just a revolving door of artists called dave that i could bump fists with

instead of other mes in various states of aliveness tending toward extremely dead

i wouldve probably given it something higher than 2 stars on my TGN review

===

so yeah you ask me my favorite album its T.I.M.E. by odd nosdam i guess

bump that shit on a walk your mind will go places unknown to man

[pachimation]

redrawing my very first chiscara comic/art i ever did for chscr day!!

old comic under the cut!!

lol a bunch of sappy semi serious stuff below bc i cant help but be a bit genuine about this ship today :’3

i cant possibly put into words how important this silly little ship and its community mean to me haha,,,, this comic was made in 2021 but i didnt really get serious about chscr until late 2022 after a bunch of pretty bad interpersonal stuff happened and i needed an outlet,, COINCIDENTALLY a certain someone was announced to be playable around then and i was already thought chscr was Pretty Neat™️ so i ended up diving headfirst into the ship. it also gave me a good excuse to work on more comics too!! i’d done a pretty big zhongven comic earlier that year in the summer, but in terms of lore there was only so much i could have worked with at the moment.

childe and scaramouche have that perfect combination of silliness and angst and violence that could be explored or expanded in so many ways and i love love love seeing other people’s interpretations of their dynamic and relationship. they’re so complex,,,,they’re narrative foils,,,they’re narrative parallels,,,they’re trans allegories,,,they’re flies in the spiderweb of the games lore,,,they’re my stupid little meow meows,,, they’re just two losers i want to see make out,,,

in a nutshell, they’re everything to me. well, i hope i get that kind of sentiment across in my own comics,,,,

and i cant get started on all the people ive met through chiscara or the way that having something i can call “my thing”, as in, the thing that i like and that i will spend a lot of time and effort (and money, but lets not talk about that) to surround myself with because it makes me smile. its stupid to say, but being a nerd about these two stupid guys who have never had a single canon onscreen interaction in some random game has made me a much happier and confident person that i could have ever imagined back in my freshman year of college,,, when i say i dont know who i’d be if i hadnt gotten into chiscara, i really do mean it lol

i’m actually surprised i’m making it to over a full year of regular-ishly making art, especially for the same game and ship! thats never happened before and my art has improved so much over this past year!! more than anything else, i’m happy! i get to be excited talking about these characters with my friends and i love to see art of them pop up on the tl. i make stickers of them and decorate my phonecase with them and have little figures of them in my room that i look at when im up late at night working on schoolwork. sometimes just the thought of finishing a comic or daydreaming about a scenario or seeing what my mutuals are up to are some of the few things getting me through a tough day.

,,,,so believe me when i say, to both childe and scara and to everyone else as obsessed with these pathic losers as i am, thank you! i’m having a lot of fun!!!

(also i just found out tumblrs copy/paste doesnt work on my ipad??? idk if this ends up legible i may or may not have deleted smth by accident and im not in a mood to proofread haha)

[ganondoodle]

actively fighting a full blown panic attack born out of sadness and anger after having to drive by yet another victim on the side of the road

it makes me livid how accepted it is to just let cats suffer and die disgustingly horrid deaths and live awful short lives just so what, for what?? so you dont have to play with them for an hour a day??? when i was little it was just kinda normal that they disappeared at some point, i didnt understand what it actually meant until our outdoor cat i loved dearly was found in the bushes near our house in a condition so horrible my dad has never told me and i have never dared to ask, she only made it to 6 and had horrible scars and infections before that i allowed my family to convince me to let my first own cat outside, we only had her for a year, she died at only 2 years old, i am still suffering from the guilt, it has never let me go, she went missing for a week and i walked the entire vilage up and down every day, yelling her name, wandering into the forest alone, talking to every stranger i met until one morning my mom told me that our neighbour who works for the city asked if we had a white cat with a very specific collar she had- he found her on a busy road crossing in the next bigger city, i never even got to bury her, its haunting me, the thought of her wandering lost and scared in the city for a week until meeting an awful end gives me headaches, the fact that i was the last one to see her alive, that i put her outside bc we were late for school and had to leave quickly, that she had come home with oil in her fur from crawling through maschines and cars before, that i was worried but still didnt act, that it is my fault, any time i am up to late its coming back, it will never let me go, if i had stood my ground and not allow her outside unless on a leash or similar shed still be alive today, any time i read a description at our local shelter it comes back, they still advocate for outside cats, all of them, even if they have only been an indoor one before, its madness my older sister had a cat, i dont even know how old he got but it wasnt long either, he got hit by a car in front of their house, she has two now again and the only reason she hasnt let them outside is because they havent shown much interest in it, i tried to warn her before and she didnt listen and shes still resistent, even after losing one too

i have seen so many on the side of the road, anywhere i drive i see them, i cannot forget a single one, we are surrounded by farm land and all its giant maschinery, its still common to poison rodents, why do people value them so little, you wouldnt let your dog just live outside in the woods and streets for half the day or more, you wouldnt just throw your guniea pigs on the road and tell them have fun, you wouldnt just let your bird roam outside, there probably assholes that do that too but you cannot tell me its as common as outside cats

i dont understand it, i dont, i wont, i never will, i will never forgive myself this poor little animal that was my responsibility having to pay the price of my ignorance, or my own weakness letting my family convince me despite the awful way we lost one before, it makes me want to explode it hurts my brain in grief and anger i can barely contain

cats deserve to live a safe and long life, i get only having them inside may feel like you are locking them up, but do you think that not doing so is worth having them die a painful death? being poisonend? on purpose even by disgusting people that hate them? abused and chased by other animals and dogs? hurt and lost? cutting their lifespan in half? if they even make it that far? the amount of wildlife that they kill unnecessarily so when all of that is already in a steep decline everywhere? and if they eat what they hunt get infected with diseases or again, poison? die somewhere in agony? if cared for they dont care about going outside, plenty can be leash trained or given a secure way to roam like those cat proof aviary like things, if you dont want to put effort into caring for a cat DONT GET ONE, ALL pets require adequate care, and if you think cats are the easiest bc you only have to feed them every now and then IF they come home? you suck, you are an asshole, i hate you and you do not care about them, if you just want to occasionalyl feed and pet an animal go to the petting zoo

(this is about pet cats of people who can absolutely afford to keep them healthily inside, i know feral cats and those in poor neighbourhoods are a thing, even if not here where i live, and thats a whole other but still similar problem and not the point of this post)

[amarayys]

DRDT episode 13 theory. So.

so i was meant to be making a general episode 13 analysis video. but um. i dont have the energy for that. so what am i gonna do instead? TALK ABOUT TERUKO try find out wtf david is doing in this scene

SO. time to find out what possibly the FRUITIEST look ever from david means!!! disclaimer:

I suck at theories. And formatting. Yipee.

I'm painfully unfunny so excuse any dumbass jokes i make.

I'm going to find any and all excuses to rant abt teruko. be prepared...............

4. I may repeat myself a lot. Forgive me if it sounds really repetative... :( 5. Any points surrounded by - these things - are just things that are unlikely, but I think should still be adressed.

So, the context of these images is Teruko revealing "her secret"; You're constantly blaming yourself for the death of your parents and siblings. It doesn't matter that it's not your fault, just that you didn't go with them.

(pls excuse the shitty quality.) She has to be either lying or MAYBE unsure about her secret. Here's why: 1. She had a conversation with Whit (and technically charles, but he was just listening in) about her family. She reveals that she's never known her parents and grew up in an orphanage. She did grow up with her biological brother, but he was adopted by another family when Teruko was five, and she says she doesn't remember him much.

2. The wording of the secret is quite specific - You're constantly blaming yourself for the death of your parents and siblings. Like I've mentioned, she's never known her parents. Even if she *somehow* knew they were dead, why would she blame herself for it? I could see it maybe working in some way, but the next bit disproves it - SIBLINGS. Teruko has only mentioned having one sibling, and this wording is plural. This secret cannot be hers, she only has one brother. - To add on to this

2.5. Maybe one could argue that siblings and parents could be her friends/people she considered family in the orphanage she grew up in. However, the specific wording of parents and siblings, instead of just using the word "family", makes me think otherwise. - Okay, so let's dissect what this means. - I think if maybe she was unaware/TRULY thought that this was her secret, the only point that would support it is 2.5. Maybe she considered people she grew up with in the orphanage her "parents" or siblings", but its just not very likely. While I wouldn't be surprised if Teruko blew up an orphanage or something (/hj) , I think it's a stretch to say this secret is referring to that. - With that out the way, we come to one conclusion - Teruko is lying about secret. "Amari, we know that already, can we move on??????????" yeah yeah whatever i may have just wanted to rant about teruko. MOVING ON. So, what is Teruko's secret? It's pretty wildly agreed upon that Teruko's secret is the one regarding the killing game, which David recieved - "How could I even select what secret to be your motive? Just about everything you've done in your life is worth killing for. The killing game is all your fault."

We think that this is Teruko's secret because: 1. She's the only one that fits it smh. /hj 2. The guy at the start of the prologue (who is probably xander but that is a WHOLE other theory you can find here ) mentions having to kill Teruko Tawaki (how DARE they) after talking about ending the killing game.

My interpretation of this is that Teruko is the reason the killing game is actually happening, though I doubt she's aware of this/the mastermind (or she could be, idk??). A really good theory that I feel explains what I mean by Teruko causing the KG but not being the mastermind is the time loop theory which is linked here. (accirax i love you for this theory /p) Obviously, this lines up with "The killing game is your fault." 3. David gives her THE LOOK right after she "admits" her secret, which sort of maybe kind of implies that he knows she's lying, which he does, since he has the secret. - As for the remaining secret: Xander's secret (which we assume min recieved) is the one Teruko claimed to have:

"You're constantly blaming yourself for the death of your parents and siblings. It doesn't matter that it's not your fault, just that you didn't go with them." Why do I think this? 1. In Xander's bonus video, it is VERY heavily implied that he has survivor's guilt as well as outright confirmed his family is dead. Go check it out for the full context.

2. Xander's secret message on the DRDT tumblr is the definition of survivors guilt. Really self explanatory, huh?

3. XANDER ACTUALLY HAS MORE THAN 1 FUCKING SIBLING. anyway. okay, this is getting a little confusing to remember, so here: Killing game: Teruko's secret, recieved by David. Survivor's guilt: Xander's secret, recieved by Min. (all remaining secrets remain the same.) MOTIVE

So, why would Teruko lie about her secret? I mean, shouldn't she just point it out? And why didn't David point it out? - 1. Teruko is aware that her secret is the killing game one and is lying because she's the mastermind or something. We see her thoughts, so I really doubt it. To further disprove this theory: Teruko has stated like 15 times (/ex) that she doesn't know which secret is hers, due to her having too many secrets. So, yeah, pretty unlikely she knows which secret's hers. Discard this theory. -

2. a) Teruko doesn't know her secret, but knows it's probably bad, and therefore doesn't want to share it, so she lied. Pretty straightforward, really. Now, for the theory that I think is most likely: 3. Teruko doesn't know which secret is hers, but she knows neither of her secrets are the ones left unrevealed. She knows somebody is lying about a secret - but she's come to the conclusion that secrets are irrelevant to the trial and murder, so she's lying about her secret to avoid everyone getting off track once again.

We know that's she's accidentally led the trial in the wrong direction twice now (motive secrets, time of murder) Also, this is the most in character.

As for David: A. David knows her secret, but keeps it hidden in order to cause distrust and just generally fuck Teruko over. He plans to reveal it either post trial or in a future daily life. B. David knows her secret, but earlier, he and Teruko made a pact to keep it hidden. However, since he's a little bitch boy (/j), he's going to reveal it anyway, either post trial or in a future daily life. - Just to add on to this point ^ - I know Teruko's protag and we see her thoughts and all, but Kaede happened, so I don't think this is out of the question. - I think the most likely combination is point 3. and point A. : Teruko's lying about her secret to avoid the trial heading off topic. David isn't calling her out because he wants to use it in the future to throw suspicion onto Teruko and cause havoc.

SO. Let's recap! Secrets: Teruko: "How could I even select what secret to be your motive? Just about everything you've done in your life is worth killing for. The killing game is all your fault." Received by David. Xander: "You're constantly blaming yourself for the death of your parents and siblings. It doesn't matter that it's not your fault, just that you didn't go with them." Received by Min. Rest remain the same as canon. Why can't Teruko's secret be about her family? 1. Teruko never knew her parents, and never mentions them being dead. 2. Teruko hasn't seen her brother since she was 5, and she never mentions him being dead, just adopted. 3. The wording of the secret refers to siblingS, which is plural. Teruko has only one sibling. 4. The secret fits Xander much better - His secret quote is the defintion of survivors guilt, and his bonus episode heavily implies he has survivors guilt, and it is confirmed his family died in the same bonus episode. Why is Teruko's secret about the killing game?

• The guy at the start of the prologue mentions having to kill Teruko Tawaki after talking about ending the killing game. This implies Teruko is the cause of the killing game, whether on purpose or not. Motive for lying: Teruko doesn't know which secret is hers, but she knows neither of her secrets are the ones left unrevealed. She knows somebody is lying about a secret - but she's come to the conclusion that secrets are irrelevant to the trial and murder, so she's lying about her secret to avoid everyone getting off track once again. David knows her secret, but keeps it hidden in order to use it in the future to turn everyone against Teruko and just generally cause distrust in the group. He plans to reveal it either post trial or in a future daily life. **btw, just a fun afterthought - i think either whit or charles will eventually point out the conversation regarding teruko's unbringing and how it contradicts her secret - and david will use that opportunity to reveal teruko's secret. ANDDDD that's it! feel free to correct/add on any points you'd like. this took AGES but i had so much fun!!! i love you drdt. (ESPECIALLY TERUKO.)

[x--sinner--x]

to the anon who struggles to cum bc of their meds: first of all, know that it is OKAY if you don’t finish!! it can be frustrating for sure, but an orgasm isnt the end all, be all, only goal for sec/masturbation!!

but there are certainly some routes you can take.

you could lean into it, turn it into a denial thing. its not that youre not cumming because of your meds, youre not cumming bc you havent been given permission! and good toys dont cum without permission 🥰

OR amp up the stimulation. add visual/audio stimulation if you aren’t already using it, use both insertion (whether it be a toy or fingers or a cock) and stimulation on the clit. add anal stimulation if thats something you’re into. completely overload your senses and overstimulate yourself until you reach that peak. at least, this worked for me.

or… just roll with it! just go until you’re satisfied, orgasm or not.

apologies for the longer message, but i saw that you were unsure of what to say so i thought id chime in!!

OMG!!! To the anon who wrote this - thank you so much for sending this. It makes me so happy that I'm surrounded by people who want to help each other out and be a better community - so I truly appreciate your words here.

Sometimes I don't know how to respond to certain asks as I'm not well versed, but having people like this where other people could get help through my page is so good to see.

I'm sure if the other anon is someone who regularly follows my page, this would be of much help to them.

And I love the phrase "good toys don't cum without permission"..

And just for myself - you can indulge me with some of your filthy fantasies too 🤭🤭

[yuri-for-businesswomen]

„but she wants to be a prostitute, so she should be allowed to be one“

the nordic model is not criminalising prostituting yourself, but prostituting others. the statement above actually means this:

„but she wants to be a prostitute, so men should be allowed to buy access to her body for their own sexual gratification“

and „i want to be in prostitution“ is not a statement that really says anything. it can mean:

i need money/im in debt

i dont have any viable alternatives or i would take them

im being discriminated against on the regular job market (due to misogyny, ableism, racism) and i dont know how to make enough money any other way

i have a family to take care of and exploring other options is too risky

i have substance abuse issues/im homeless and no employer will take me

being a sex object has been normalised and glamorised by the people surrounding me

i have been used and abused by men before so i at least want to make some money off it

im out of touch with my own sexuality and do whatever my sexual partner wants/want to experiment which means i let men do what they want to me

im mentally ill and this is self-harm to me, or i have issues keeping down a regular job

i want to rebel (against my parents, against religion, whatever) and its way too easy to enter prostitution so i chose this

i have been groomed and manipulated from a young age

my self-image and self-worth depends on men wanting to use me as a vessel for their desires

ive become numb to my abuse/ive accepted my fate of being abused by men

the brothel is my family and i have no security net or connections outside prostitution

i live in the brothel so i would be homeless if i exited

ive intellectualised prostitution to a degree i can rationalise the inherent abuse to myself and others

im very privileged and in the fringe minority who can actually pick and choose who pays me for sex but i dont see that only the fact that marginalised women make up the majority of prostitutes allows me this position

my level of education and skill hinders me from getting a job with a viable income

i need flexible working hours that no employer is willing to offer me

i want to open my own business but no bank is willing to give me a credit

im saving for something and there is no other option to make enough money to save some due to capitalism, misogyny and marginalisation

im desillusioned and disappointed with heterosex

ive been told this is my only option

ive been in prostitution too long to exit even if i wanted to

i cope with the abuse by defending it

ive been failed by institutions and people that were supposed to support me

i want to get out of an abusive relationship so i endure the abuse of prostitution to make enough money to leave him and prostitution/my boyfriend makes me

i want out but i cant right now

etc etc

these are not mutually exclusive either. it is clear that entering prostitution hinges on other mechanisms without which no woman would choose to enter prostitution: there is no intrinsical will to prostitute oneself. the ways that lead girls and women into prostitution are diverse but they all lead to one thing: being used by men as a sex object, which means being dehumanised on a regular basis.

[exhelluvafan]

The ValAngel print from recent has made me start looking more into Vivzie and co.’s flaws and… wow. I feel so dumb for having defended her and her shows so blindly before. And the fact it took seeing the VAs commission a piece of abuse to open my eyes…… I feel dirty ngl. And its so weird how other Hazbin fans will bash on you for saying how wrong the ValAngel print is, like I was one of them and just saying I felt so uncomfortable by it and then other fans casted me out just because I didn’t like seeing VAs sign an art piece between an abuser and his victim who he is literally abusing in the art. Its not funny and its not quirky its so uncomfortable….. I feel like I was so blinded by wanting to be cool and liking mainstream media and blindly liking Hazbin and Helluva and forcing myself to like it despite all the weird sex stuff that made me so uncomfortable before but fans would put you down if you spoke out on it. Like fans literally would call you a traitor. I dont think its a healthy fandom.

Hey, Anon, first of all, I'm proud that you managed to finally see through all of Viv's bullshit and realized that all this "hot" and "quirky" SA is actually wrong, that already puts you leagues above the rabid Viv stans.

And also, I'm so sorry you've been cast out from others just because you had a differing opinion, but don't worry, you're not the first and you'll hardly be the last, after all, that's what the Hazbin / Helluva fandom is currently: just communities filled with gatekeeping stans that won't hesitate kicking you into the curb if you have a slightly differing opinion from Viv or the fans themselves, and you're right, this isn't a healthy fandom, but this situation ain't going to get any better since Viv only keeps rewarding the toxic behaviors of the fandom.

My advice for this is... Run, run and keep running and never look back, Anon, the Hazbin fandom won't miss you and they would rather keep dickriding Viv before admitting their faults, so you did well realizing all this, I just hope you're doing okay by now, Anon, and remember to surround yourself with people that actually like and appreciate you for who you are.

[pathologicalreid]

omgggg hey it’s me the odyssey anon i hacked your super awesome mutuals account ahhahahahahahaha moving on

ok so people are saying knowing what the odyssey is is a privilege because they’re under the impression that it’s strictly an english novel and not everybody knows english?? and THIS is coming from the people who are on classics twitter??😭😭 do they know google is free

i’m not really on twitter so i don’t entirely get it but going off of what you’ve said for the sake of an interesting conversation here (which you can choose to engage in or not! i am by no means trying to harass my fav spencer reid writer and i understand not everybody likes to debate for fun and it can come off as aggressive but im actually just a loser and a nerd😁), i still think whether or not you have even heard of the odyssey is inextricably a matter of cultural context informed by your socioeconomic status and location, whether that be in america or abroad. i ALSO acknowledge media literacy and literacy in general are at an appalling all time low. it is generational and socially reinforced so kids just aren’t socialized to pay attention in school or be interested in what they learn which sucks and is so hard to watch like these kids are gonna be impossible to have a conversation with one day because the culture and the system are failinggggg them soooo hard

also though a lot of people just don’t engage in media to the level that they’d realize it’s a retelling of or incorporates themes from classic literature, but beyond that, it would require a familiarity with classic literature that is just not ubiquitous!! lots of people who’ve read the book don’t realize that a court of thorns and roses is a retelling of beauty and the beast, and even fewer people know that beauty and the beast is a retelling of eros and psyche. it all depends on how much quality education is available to you. so i guess in that sense it sort of is a privilege, because culturally pervasive or not, even the most bare bones knowledge of classic literature requires an education and the ability to actually engage with your education. but also like i said these kids are just NAWT locked into their schooling at all i dont know what it is in the zeitgeist that encourages the active dismissal of education among students. maybe they’re all just pessimists and disillusioned by the world they’ve been born into so nothing matters to them or maybe im projecting

n e wayzzzzz promise this is NOT mean spirited at all i literally just like talking and think this is super interesting and nobody ever wants to talk with me about this stuff so i am seizing my opportunity but i also know my intense desire to debate is actually a deeply unappealing trait so if you hated this and you want me to deactivate my blog let me know i will show myself out🎀 also jesus i am yapper of the century omfg and watch none of this even be relevant IM SO SORRYYY FOR PUTTING AN ESSAY IN YOUR INBOX

sam odyssey anon nereidprinc3ss this is like a marriage proposal to me i'm not necessarily interested in debating the reach that the odyssey does or does not have i do want to share this because it raises an interesting point surrounding media literacy and literacy in general which is unfortunately one of my favorite topics ever. school-aged kids these days are victims of their environment where they are not only being encouraged to develop critical thinking skills but they are also going online and developing an attention span catered to seven second tiktok videos and depending on having information fed to them as opposed to contributing to their own edification. i elected to entertain this topic as a whole on tumblr as opposed to twitter because i believe twitter is a more vicious platform BUT im digressing!!! from what i've seen thus far it's much less of a socioeconomic issue and more of a location issue but i'm basing that conclusion on my irl social circle and tumblr following/mutuals. i will have to come to terms with the fact that i will likely never have a true answer to this conundrum but c'est la vie.

[0prettygirl-jay0]

~•little stalker•~ pt2

dabi x reader

context: the stalker becomes the stalked.

warnings: smut, caught, oral sex, fingering, name calling, masturbating.

—————————————————————————-

~•dabi’s pov•~

I have to say, 'm not the kind of guy pretty girls stalk, I'm not the kind of guy that any girls stalk or even look at. So what's the deal with her? That's what I've been wonderin’ these past two months. She's so fucking pretty, that night when she took me down like some rag doll, I could've sworn I was in love, then and there. I haven’t felt this way ever…i just couldnt, way to possessive for that shit. Why her? No one should have her but me…i could treat her better then anyone else, kill for her, love her and only her, be there for her.. Fuck I need her. one thing i needa find out, is she a hero or what? there’s nothing about her anywhere..and her fighting skills were too suspicious for a eighteen year old.

name: y/n y/m/n y/l/n

parents: deceased

age: eighteen

address: musutafu city, japan. 275 kinto street, apartment 214, Shizuoka Prefecture.

quirk: blood manipulation

This is the eleventh time this week I've had to jack off to fuckin’ flashbacks, i needed more, need her. Fuck.. This is not okay, especially at the fucking base, i really need to get my own apartment. that way i can have her all to myself. her black leather that clung tight to her body that night, her hips, her thighs…fuck, her face. The office chair i sat on was squeaky, every time i would thrust my hips up, it would sound. It didn't matter at this point, looking down towards my hips, my hands glided over the glistening purple, tip.

——-—————-three hours later————————

now why the fuck would she be at a hero event? there stood the most wanted villain across from a met gala, a building that was surrounded by heros and filled with heros. dabi had been smart enough to place a small chip in a cut toga had made on her body while she was distracted fighting them both.

—————————————————————————

~•reader’s pov•~

i couldn’t handle being that close to him, all i wanted to do was take him right then and there, infront of toga, infront of everyone. taking the cart out my mouth while looking at my smokey eye makeup and fixing my hair in the mirror..he’s a villain, he kills innocent people, maybe im in way over my head..i mean a villain liking me? be so for real, exhaling the smoke from my lungs and out my mouth, i went to fix the bottom of the red, silk dress i wore. my father is a hero, and here i am obsessing over a murderer who doesn’t even feel the same way over me…he couldn’t, right?

“Whatchu doing here dressed like that?” the calm, hoarse voice says as he watched the smoke exit my mouth. in the reflection of the mirror, i could see, it was dabi. shit, how the fuck did he find me.

“dabi..how’d ya’ find me? y’know at a hero event they dont really like your kind here..” i laughed a bit as i turned around to look at dabi, black on black with a gold chain looked really good on him.

“Real question, is what the fuck are you doing here, princess? You a hero?” walking up closer to me, dabi took it upon himself to take my cart and hit it himself, putting it to his pink lips and inhaling, he kept eye contact with me. giving me back my cart, dabi put his hands on my hips to admire the red dress i wore, blue eyes looking me up and down, slowly one of the hands on my hips moved up towards the back of my neck where he held my body firmly. Exhaling the smoke out his nose, the smell of marijuana filled my nose.

“answer me princess, cause i dont fuck wit heroes.” his gruff voice spoke in my left ear and the feeling of now both of his hands grabbing handfuls of my ass to pick me up and put me on the counter, a gasp left my lips as i was so easily picked up and placed on the counter. the only thing i could do was sit and admire the man that stood in front of me, this is all i’ve ever wanted. he wants me the same way i want him.

“my dad is..im just here with him.” now with what i said just now, caused dabi to raise his brow and smirk at me, his eyes glancing at my lips and back to my eyes.

“i love the way you feel, the way you smell, the way your eyes are glassed over and i haven’t even touched you yet, the way you just let go and melt in my hands.” he said this softly with a scoff and a slight chuckle, his big rough hand moved its way up my body and to my face, grabbing my chin to look up into his dark, blue eyes, looking down at me with a smirk, he tilts his head to the side and leans down but doesnt place his lips on my own, not just yet. his other hand kneaded the flesh of my hip, uncontrollably i leaned in to connect our lips.

“dont lean into me like that..im not gonna kiss you.” dabi chuckled a bit again before he continued speaking. “i’ll kiss whats mine, i’ll fuck what’s mine, i’ll satisfy what’s mine…are you mine, little mouse?” his voice spoke again and chills ran down my spine with excitement.

“i want to be..” i said as soft as can be while looking in the man’s eyes.

“…you want to be, is that so? ima be honest with you princess, all i want to do is rip that little red dress and bend you over this bathroom counter until all you do is say my name over and over again.” finally his lips sucked on my neck and his hands got to work, kneading my hip as he grabbed the back of my neck to hold me straight. looking at his finished product with a smirk, his hand bunched up my red dress above my hips. looking at my soaked red lacy underwear, one of his big hands grabbed my thigh to put around his waist and the other moved the red lace to the side.

“such a pretty girl, arent you?” his fingers admired the swollen bud and dipped down lower to the wet folds and then to the tight hole where i desperately needed something to fill. whimpers flooded out of my mouth, throwing my head back to lay on the mirror behind me i covered my mouth with my hand.

“Sweetie, you okay in there?” knocking was heard on the bathroom door as i heard my dad’s voice on the outside, he sounded worried..fuck dad, wrong time to be cockblocking. i lifted my head off the mirror to see dabi’s cocky face looking back at my disheveled one that tried to keep quiet with my hand still around my mouth.

“my dad..dabi.” my hand moved from my mouth as i got both to try an push away the man that had his hand between my thighs.

“your dad’s..aizawa? well shit, guess i wont be killing him on my camping trip next week.” dabi spoke casually and quietly as if his one finger wasn’t inside of me trying to loosen me up.

“fuck- yes dad, im fine. just y’know girl problems…” my head fell onto dabi’s shoulder trying to muffle my moans. hearing footsteps walk away with a muffled oh, i looked at dabi in anger but pure bliss as he entered another finger inside of me.

“so god damn tight, y’know that? but you’ll take me right? all of me, like my good fucking girl.”

“you are so fu-…cking annoying, y’know that.” dabi smirked at me as his free hand put a stray hair behind my ear. taking his two fingers out of me dabi flips me over to lay me on my stomach as his leg moved the both of mine apart. now the only thing i could do was look at his dark eyes through the mirror infront of me. the sounds of a belt unbuckling was what got me out of my dazed state, i wiggled my hips in anticipation with a whimper. slapping his dick on my bare pussy dragged a moan out of my mouth.

“oh, fuck your tight.” finally pushing the tip into me, you could hear my wetness squelching, bottoming out, dabi stilled for a second while biting his bottom lip and his eyes halfway closed. this view in the mirror was the best one yet, at this point dabi was shirtless, his purple scars added onto his tan skin, he had abs and big shoulders.

“shit, only half way, princess, were almost there. you wanna stalk me, you wanna be mine? then take it.” lifting one of my legs on the bathroom counter, dabi grabbed both of my arms to put behind my back while pushing all the way in.

“this is what it means to be mine, little mouse, to be my doll.” he said in a gruff breathless voice as he bent down to whisper in my ear, his abs almost pressing against my back with his hips slapping against my ass. the sound took over the room along with dabi’s whimpers and groans, one of his hands held both of mine hands behind my back and the other covering my mouth.

“this pussy is all fucking mine, doll, and no one is ever taking it away from me. dont fucking close your eyes, look at me y/n.” snapping back into reality after hearing his voice whispering in my ear i open my eyes to look at dabi in the mirror, my teeth bit my bottom lip as dabi sped up his pace, i couldnt help but want to close my eyes and focus on his voice and the feeling.

“im gonna let go of your hands and your gonna fucking play with that pretty little clit of yours for me, got it, doll?” i nodded my head vigorously as i felt the relief of my hands being released. both of his hands roughly grabbed my hips, probably leaving bruises in the morning.

“now ‘m gonna make you cum, and your gonna say thank you. understand?” nodding wasnt enough for dabi, he needed to hear it.

“words, mouse. use them.” his thrusing became so rough you could hear the sink slamming against the wall.

“yes, dabi. thank you!” my hand between my thighs circling my clit and the other covering my mouth, dabi’s voice in my ear and his thick cock slamming into me. it was all becoming too much before that knot in me snapped.

“i dont care if youre too sens-..stive keep rubbing that clit for me princess...” a loud moan erupted from me as stars filled my vison, eyes rolling to the back of my head and my toes curling.

“fuck, yes! keep milkin’ me like that, mouse. please, fuck! say your mine!” coming back to my senses, while shaking and whimpering, i rub on my clit.

“all yours, touya, thank you…~” thats what makes him snap, a loud groan was heard and i looked in the mirror to see dabi’s head tilted back and a hand covering his mouth, the other hand that held a bruising grip on my hip ignited in a blue flame but only for a second as dabi came to realize what he did.

“fuck! dabi?!” my face was still fucked out as i gripped the sides of the counter in pain. orgasm tears slipped down my face and i looked at dabi through the mirror.

“shit! mouse, im so sorry.” he looked down at the flesh wound on my hip with his dick still inside me.

“mouse..what did you call me, just now!?” dabi said with his blue eyes glaring into mine, there was no malice, or anger and i knew exactly what he was talking about, but i wasnt gonna spoil our fun on how i got my information.

“what else would i call you? daddy of course.” with a joking wink and a smirk i would only pray and hope dabi would drop it. slipping out of me, dabi helped me get dressed while watching out for the new wound.

“leave your window open..were not done yet.” was the last thing i heard from touya’s mouth as i watched him leave through the bathroom balcony.

[anacoreee]

random, very messy shifting rant (but im mainly just yelling at myself) ♡

this is very random, but i think one of the reasons why some people might not be in the best relationship with shifting is because they're afraid of failure.

for example, some of my earlier shifting attempts. i attempt shifting but i don't end up actually shifting because im so worried with the idea that i won't or can't do it to the point where shifting becomes a burden because I'm trying to escape this reality instead of actually focusing on shifting. I realized that this may be the main thing holding me back. i know I'm capable of it. i know anyone can shift because people have done it and we are infinite beings. we are so capable. period.

this is why i want to get rid of the thoughts that come to mind the second im about to shift. literally who cares? why are you even thinking about it. "but then ill have to go to school tmr morning if i dont shift! yadayada cri cri cri" .. ok, but like ur physical body is going to anyway.. and like... what if u do shift, genius??.. yk whats cooler?? being in ur damn dr! like be soo fr if u want to shift and you believe in it why are you so worried about 'failing' like it's not even failure. that's lowkey just a step closer to shifting. you're finding out what you could do differently, what may work for you better.

also linking to the part about being worried about this reality, they shouldn't be burdens. they're just experiences. experiences are things everyone who is consciously aware of their surroundings will experience(literally everyone ever?? everyone in every reality. even this one, even in ur dr, even in some reality where ur dad and ur science teacher are having an affair and literally only your mailman knows) for example, you go to school in ur dr and u have ur least favorite subject first thing in the morning, for me, I'd be like, 'yeah but like... it's my dr... I'll still be in my dr..' ... ok but like... this reality is a reality just like your dr. be so fr, there's nothing special about that reality more than this one. yeah, it might be ur fav anime, but anyone who's in that reality might just think like how you think in this reality. humanize ur damn reality. It's not much more special than any other one. it might be based off opinion(thats literally why we shift awareness in the first place), yk morally. but actually. every physical reality is a reality that is not much more special than any other one.

sorry this is literally just what it sounds like in my head. ill be thinking about one thing then another thing in like a milisecond. but even just ranting some of my feelings about shifting, this really made me feel much better.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

aita for pretending to be cis online? im a trans man and have been trans for almost ten years now. i am pre-most transition even though i would like to fully transition, due to money and medical phobia complications. i do not pass irl.

a few years ago i attempted stealth (saying i was a cis man) on a discord server before ultimately admitting to being trans because i was afraid everyone could tell, and was informed that even though they even heard my voice on the server, no one there suspected i was afab, and even when i said i was trans, some people assumed i was coming out as transfem, because i had passed myself as a cis man so well. this gave me euphoria, of course, and made me regret telling anyone since i was apparently passing so well.

i held onto those feelings, and a year or so after that, quietly changed my bios and stuff to remove the trans part. a little while after that, i started actively saying i was cis male in my bios and to new friends.

i should clarify this is not out of safety or fear of transphobia, all my family and irl friends know im trans and are 100% supportive, im lucky enough to live in a very progressive area, and my online existence is small and filled with tons of trans and supportive people. it's only because i feel dysphoric when i know people can perceive me as afab, and since i don't have control over that irl, i just want someone in the world to see me as amab, even if im not and never will be.

i also am not by any means a transmed. i myself am also gnc, and many many of my friends are loud and proud queer weirdos, and i am too with everything but my agab. i love the wacky ways other trans folks present their genders and refuse to sanitize themselves for cisciety. i do not think anyone should ever have to water down who they are for any reason and i don't think being afab makes anyone less of a man, just i personally don't like facing the fact that i am afab and would rather people see me as a cis man whenever i can control it.

this might be where the asshole comes in here, because being gnc, being surrounded by so many trans people and being in many "afab dominated" spaces (such as fanfic writers, tumblr, fandom in general honestly) as well as having a lot of trans headcanons makes me paranoid people are going to clock me and even if they don't say anything they'll know im faking being cis. because of that, and to avoid the dreaded "egg" conversations (people trying to insist or imply that ill soon "find out" that im transfem) ive sometimes been telling people when the subject comes up that i had experimented with my gender before and thought i was transfem or nonbinary in the past, so i sort of fit the idea of cis+ and that might be why i feel more trans than cis even though im definitely cis.

i also tell them im intersex and have trans family (both of these are true, though obviously im intersex in a different way than i say) to get them off my scent.

i know i dont owe anyone my agab, but when all is said and done, i am lying about my gender and history with gender exploration, and i kinda feel like im disrespecting other trans folks by implying it would personally feel better to be cis, like i can't relate to other trans people saying they never want to be cis and the goal of being trans isn't to be cis. but i do. i also worry that having trans hcs (including in sexual contexts) for characters while im presenting myself as cis makes people think im a chaser.

anyway sorry this is long, but aita for lying about my gender?

What are these acronyms?

[nuikasa]

dunno i feel like i can talk more freely here bc i dont have too many people here following me and because certain things you say on other spaces can be taken in a very different way lmao, that's one of the reasons why i don't like twitter at all.

and I dunno if it's just me but this fandom it's super competitive and childish (well the childish part it's pretty obvious) and i that's the main reason why I'm picky with who i interact and with I don't ... artists seem to care only if you give them attention, if you don't interact with them in any form, they ignore you and just vibe around people who gives them that which is valid, if you like that, as long it doesn't harm anyone in some way, i don't think is bad.

but I personally don't like to get involved with that kind of people, i don't feel i can nutrite myself with their energy which is mostly centered to themselves than others, of course I can't even expect people to personally care about me for real, we are strangers online after all and it's getting harder to make a genuine bond with people you meet on here.

so i'm just stuck here thinking, i should be grateful with what I get and I truly am, I feel I've improved a lot this year in the artistic side and there's other sides of my life I also want to improve but i'm struggling a lot.

I'm starting to feel a bit frustrated, there's a lot of things I want to do but ...it's like I still haven't started moving to that direction, that there's something I'm lacking. I want to focus on my comics more for example but it's been like almost two weeks and I've progressed from one or two pages per au lmao and it's annoying to me.

I know I shouldn't be that hard with myself and sometimes inspiration comes in and out in a blink of a eye but still, it's frustrating.

I wanted to write down how I felt, maybe that would help a bit how I'm feeling right now with the things that surround me, this is just a personal rambling with myself lmao.

[drdemonprince]

How do you learn to love yourself if your internalized bigotries makes you radioactive to others?

Ive been learning that, tragically, it's not possible to only hate yourself and be cool to everyone else. Self hate always manifests outwards and hurts others, especially if it comes from a place of marginalized identity. I know this because I've been on the receiving end: I've known people with ED whose judgement makes me feel worse about eating food. I've known trans girls who call themselves cross dressers because they haven't figured out they're allowed to be girls, who make me feel like a crossdresser because of this. And I've known autistic people who are clearly trying to be "not like those autistic people" who leave me wondering if I'm the kind of autistic person they don't want to be like.

I recognize this phenomenon in others, and I recognize the self hate inside myself, the internalized ableism, fatphobia, and transmisogyny. I try my best to love myself, and I believe doing so means I need to surround myself with fat, autistic, trans women, but I'm scared that in my current state, my own self hate will hurt the very people I need to be in community with. Do you have any ideas of how to navigate this? Thanks

The long and short of it all is that it's a multi-pronged process. While you work on healing your self concept, working on your trauma recovery, and finding yourself supportive relationships that accept you as you are, you also have to work on targeting your own behaviors that drive people away, shut them out, shame them, or otherwise make these dynamics worse. The good news is you dont have to eradicate shitty ideas and reactions from your head -- you can accept them as a part of the reality you have long lived in, and focus on changing your actions, which is what actually affects people. Your feelings and thoughts can never be evil and never do any harm on their own.

I hate to be this person but I have a about 20,000 words on this whole dynamic you are describing in my next book, Unlearning Shame! It comes out in Feb but please please feel free to pirate it at libgen.rs if you're not good for the $20-30. lord knows the people most affected by these dynamics are also the most financially marginalized so please grab it for free if you want.

I also have a related piece in my Substack queue, specifically about how unmasked Autistics can better love the still masked and still self hating among us...so look out for that. that will be free to read as all my essays are.

[ultra-raging-ghost]

Im real nervous main tagging this because ive said my main peace and i dont wanna clog the tag up, but i will say after some context given i have a couple more thoughts?

tw// SA, r//pe mention, etc.

This will be a controversial statement. Me personally, i dont really honestly care? About what he said? It was eight years ago and he hasnt repeated the actions so i dont honestly and truly care what he did eight years ago, he was 19 then hes like 26 now theres honestly and truly a BIG maturity distance between 19 and 26, but also it was. Eight years ago? Thats all i have to say on that?

I Also dont really care for how it was brought to light, from what ive heard from pt speakers the expose was done by someone whos publicly anti towards the Brazilian CCs and ive heard they've dug up some dumb things about pac that werent "hot" enough to get trending i guess and definitely werent condemnable enough to get him cancelled, so it's honestly and truly in my heart something i see as being done in bad faith.

Alongside this, ive seen translation screenshots from one of the "victims" (not sure her stance on being called this so its in quotes) stating she does NOT want to be aligned with these allegations and has changed her username and profile picture because she honestly doesnt wanna be involved and doesnt want it being spread around, this is something else i view as bad faith and if anyone was affected by this then its the best thing to do as they wish, this not only affects the person being called out but also their victim negatively, especially if the victims profile is easily attached to their real life and especially when the victim is a female victim of assault or rape or anything like that, i hate to say it but as an afab person ive seen it firsthand that thats honestly the culture surrounding assault victims, and most people dont want that being brought up or put out in the public. Im a victim myself - people view you differently, it affects platonic and romantic relationships, it affects jobs, you are actively hurting the victim by spreading this if they dont want you to do so and arent prepared for that to be spread around.

From what ive seen, some people are condemning Forever for getting a lawyer - i dont view this as him being automatically guilty. I view this as him getting a lawyer because this person on twitter has been actively harassing not just him but all the brazilian CCs on the QSMP. This is harassment, the case against them will hold up in court and Forever has said he will speak about this more when everything is said and done

Alongside this, i will say im unhappy with Forever specifically for his statement on the situation. It wasnt handled the way we wouldve liked it, but it also wasnt handled via ukelele, it wasnt handled the worst way it could've been. Ive heard pt speakers say it was kind of formal, there was some slang in there but overall i've read the translated statement and to me it sounds more like a legal statement than anything - he mentioned having a lawyer, chances are the lawyer helped him write it. To me it doesnt sound like anything he'd fully say which is why i was so put off by it at first but this makes more sense to me honestly, i dont know if anyone would agree with this.

TL;DR

All in all, i think its a shitty situation but nothing to condemn Forever over. I ask people be thoughtful regarding the girl affected, and dont spread shit around with her name or profile attached to it unless she states otherwise. It was handled badly on Forever's end and blew up WAY too fast on twitter.

I've generally seen people be well behaved on here, ive seen some strong statements but otherwise i like to think we're better than twitter.

This probably wont be my last post on this as we get more on the situation over the next couple days, but this is my main thoughts right now. I'm still choosing to remain neutral, but more mixed than anything.