#Even destructively so
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Can you tell us a bit more about your Sharpclaw? Why is he so concerned with loyalty when he likely was on his own before and this whole “being loyal to a clan” thing is probably as new to him as any cat else?
Long ago, Spiderstar realized that her Clan would not be able to survive if they stayed together.
No matter how many times they killed the rats, they would come back. For every warrior lost, it seemed like the hordes gained another. Her cats were admitting taking food from twolegs, always ready to run from the gorge at a moment's notice, looking at her with guilty eyes. She began to wonder if she was wrong for admonishing them, the way a leader is expected to.
The story goes that one day, she observed a web of spiders hatching from their eggs. The mother watched as her children created small plumes, and floated away on the breeze. It hit Spiderstar, in that moment, that this was how they would survive. Connected by a great web, but scattered to the sky, where they could not be found.
BB!SkyClan never fully disbanded. Like a web, they would share news, come to help one another and inform of safe twoleg houses, trade kittens to each other to raise as apprentices.
From Spiderstar, to her successor, and down to Skywatcher, there was always a "keeper" of this information. When Firestar and Brokenstar arrived, Skywatcher simply spread the news on the breeze. His connections told their connections, and soon, a dozen cats had answered the call.
And, of course, Sharpclaw was one of them.
He may be a rogue, lived most of his life on his own, but in his head that just means he knows more about what it's like to not have a Clan. He's happy to work with ex-Kittypets who choose the Clan above their humans... but even them, how can they ever truly understand what it's like to have nowhere else to go?
He's been waiting for this moment his whole life, from the time he was a young kit being told the stories of Old, from the second he was first introduced to old Skywatcher as a child. "And here," He argues, "Are kittypets who see our way of life as a game. The time of SkyClan's Scattering is over, we are upon the days of a new dawn, and these outsiders are clinging to the past. We don't need twolegs, or the kittypets that can't choose between US or THEM. Leafstar, loyalty is the value that this Clan is built on-- we have to be strong without the help of these Daylight Warriors."
"Lol," Leafstar says, "Lmao even"
I'm bit a bit hyperbolic, but that's how Sharpclaw FEELS about her responses. She's not LISTENING to him (because his ideas suck) or TAKING HIM SERIOUSLY (she is, she's just telling him no and he doesn't like that). She has him as her deputy exactly because she is seeking opposing viewpoints, but this doesn't matter to him in his perceived entitlement.
And this is the resentment that Darktail eventually targets, realizing that his pride and ego is the perfect wedge to drive between him and Leafstar.
Leafstar wasn't picked by SkyClan, someone else picked her for you.
She doesn't want to listen to you, you're so correct and she doesn't appreciate you.
She's letting weakness into your Clan, and if you wait too long it'll be too late
PROVE it to her by taking YOUR supporters and attacking her at night. Show her how good of an ally her kittypets are when they can't defend their Clan, safe in their human nests.
Take leadership from her, you will lead your Clan to the new dawn you've always envisioned.
#I disagree with the idea that you can't be violently committed to new ideas though#You don't have to have been raised with something to think it's important#Even destructively so#especially when you're talking about entitled assholes like my version of Sharp#It's a bit confusing to me how many people kinda like... meet the idea of a BB!Skyclan cat being xenophobic#They're very different from Forest Four but that doesn't mean they don't have their own flavor of xenophobia#Being Forest Four isn't the root of all evil and there are other ways of being bigoted#For a heavy handed example it's kinda like being confused at the idea of an american being xenophobic#because the country was built on immigration#bigotry doesn't really Make Sense. It's emotional and reactionary#better bones au
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lead balloon (the tumblr post that saved me)
if this comic resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you donated to this palestinian family's escape fund.
--
no creative notes because this isn't that kind of comic.
I know I don’t owe any of you anything but I still felt compelled to write about my long term absence. And I feel far enough away from the dangerous spot I was in to be able to make this comic. I have a therapist now, and she agreed that making this could be a very cathartic gesture, and the start of properly leaving these thoughts behind me. I am still, at seemingly random times, blindsided by fleeting desires to kill myself. They’re always passing urges, but it’s disarming, and uncomfortable. I worry sometimes that my brain’s spent so long thinking only about suicide that it’s forgotten how to think about anything else. Like, now that I've opened that door for myself, I'll never be able to fully shut it again. But I’m trying my best to encourage my mind in other directions. We'll see how that goes.
I am still donating all proceeds from my store to Palestinian causes. So far, I've donated over $15K, not including donations coming from my own pocket or the fundraising streams which jointly raised around $10K. In the time since I made my initial post about where this money would be going, the focus has shifted from aid organisations to directly donating to escape funds.
If you'd like to do the same, you can look at Operation Olive Branch, which hosts hundreds of Palestinian escape funds or donate to Safebow, which has helped facilitate the safe crossing and securing of important medical procedures for over 150 at-risk palestinians since the beginning of the genocide.
#cw: suicidal ideation#cw: suicide#cw: self harm#cw: mental health#cw: depression#i made the balloon the main representation of my self destructive urges for a reason but im not going to explain it#i tried to keep a lot of the details in this vague#it would be my worst nightmare if this comic encouraged someone to hurt themselves#so. please dont#for a long time even the thought of making this comic felt so insipid and narcissistic#with the state of the world as it is#having the only threat to your life be yourself felt so privileged and trite and shameful#but doing this comic made me sit down and process things in full#and im just. very grateful i didn't give in to my thoughts back when i sincerely felt i'd be more useful to the world dead#i also feel the need to say that this wont represent everyone's battle with mental illness. its unfortunately different for all of us#there is no fix-all#and im afraid this might be one of those comics that either resonates a lot or misses the target by a mile#i made it for myself foremost. and now that its done im glad i did it#thank you for reading#and please stay alive#stillindigo art#stillindigo comics
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Have you seen my little lad?
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#jin zixun#Everytime I have to write his name I feel like I'm running outside in a blood rain trying not to get wet. Misspelling it feels so inevitabl#But so far so good! He doesn't have too many more appearances before he gets Cheesed.#Dear god I love it when characters go on the war path for someone they care about.#And I love it even more when you have an ambiguity between personal debt and genuine act of selflessness.#WWX saving WN is purposefully messy! Like a lot of our real life reasons for how we act - there isn't a clear single cause or answer.#Sometimes we forget that we are a collection of experiences and learnt reactions.#Sometimes we forget that what we see on the surface is not the point to address. Everyone is more complex than we think. Even yourself.#And yet...it always comes back to love doesn't it? Attachment styles and self-esteem and bonds and relationships to others.#Everything comes back to love and our perceptions of it.#WWX is on a self-destructive war path and he will absorb as much damage as he can for those he feels obligated and attached to.#Does it make him feel needed? Does it give him purpose? Does it ease anxieties of the past? I do not think there is an answer.
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I recall saying this before, but it bears repeating:
There could be a billion trans people in the world and it still wouldn't be a bad thing because being trans is not a bad thing. Even if the rate of people discovering they are trans is "disproportionate" to trends from decades ago, that is not a bad thing. In fact, it's a natural consequence for there being more trans people being able to stay alive, and, overall, being able to live in a slightly more tolerant world. You'd only see that as a bad thing if you actively didn't want trans people to either live or live a life that facilitates wellness.
#trans#transgender#lgbt#lgbtq#ftm#mtf#nonbinary#like even with there being more OPEN AND OUT trans people there are still more cis people by volume#even in my high school with three trans girls and three trans guys (including me) and a few NB people...#...there were still a THOUSAND cis kids going to school with us. imagine complaining when cis people are still 'dominant'#i don't know what my secondary school's population is because it's a big campus so you can deal with high school stats lol#like thank gd we are beginning to live in a world where the trans population CAN grow#i want there to be more trans people. because trans people will continue to be trans#we will continue being trans no matter what laws you put into place. no matter how dangerous you make the world for us...#...we will continue to be trans whether or not you approve. and that's fucking beautiful. i want us to live. i want us to eat well.#i want us to not worry about anything in this world. and that's going to happen one day. it will happen just like the sun rises each morning#if that is a threat to you then that is your own fault - your own self-destructive and sad thoughts about people and our world#and that is not my burden to carry - i have my own.
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I CAN’T BREATHE
#WHY IS JOEL EVEN HERE THIS IS HERMITCRAFT 9 I’M GONNA BE SICK#IM LAUGHING SO HARD PLEASE#dbhc sillies#dbhc art#dbhc#dbhc etho#destruction#dbhc doc#dbhc xisuma#dbhc Joel#I CAN’T#art escapades
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[ ID in ALT ]
he giggles
#wriothesley#neuvillette#wriolette#neuvithesley#genshin impact#he goes aheeheehooheehoohee#i think once neuvillette figures out how to make him laugh. he'd do it all day. and the formula is simple too he just gotta say something#really stupid. and absurd. in his usual super serious iudex voice#and wriothesley is in stitches. it's so easy. he just gotta say 'yippee' and profit. 'slay queen' and wriothesley is incapacitated#also. imagine he's ticklish. but i dont think Neuv would tickle him intentionally I think he's like. 'i heard tickling gets violent fast'#'i will not resort to that to summon moethesley'#he doesn't want to Hurt Him he just wants to see him smile and laugh and be all pink in the face. but I do think he accidentally#sets him off all the time. with kisses (neck/ears) or just like grabbing his waist and suddenly wriothesley violently Wriggles yknow.#the tickled reaction. wriothesley laments the destruction of his scary big dog image every day#but. neuvillette would only make jokes at home anyway. and to be clear it's the simple fact that neuvillette is trying to Be Funny .#that's really funny to wriothesley. or just like his awkwardness. back before he figures out he can Intentionally make wriothesley laugh#he'd bewitch him with his his gap moeism#the layers to it. Wriothesley gets embarrassed later on when he catches on because he Knows Neuvillette likes seeing him all tickled.#and flustered. and that's like so mortifying bro what do you mean you're happy just seeing me being moe#and he's embarrassed because he should not be falling for it every single time. it should not be this funny#the nerves just makes him laugh even harder. and the whole time neuvillette is just sitting there. silently delighted. waiting for the#perfect comedic timing. so he can drop a 'cowabunga!' with the exclaimation mark and all. wriothesley can't even catch his damn breathe#art#my art
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give this angle another tri
#doctorsiren#gravity falls#the book of bill#bill cipher#scalene cipher#euclid cipher#stanford pines#theraprism#gravity falls fanart#digital art#my art#procreate#yeah I finally checked out thisisnotawebsitedotcom hooray!#don’t ask what everything on the second page says#I don’t even remember at this point LMAO#I just wanted to make it look neat but now my hand hurts from all that coded writing#there also may be some spelling errors in there bc that always seems to happen with me HAHUIHS#by merely messing up the cipher lmao#I based Scalene and Euclid off of old cartoon parents#Scalene is based around just like…50s cartoon mom#and Euclid has that 50s cartoon dad thing but also Professor Utonium#little billy….he’s just my young Miles Edgeworth…he’s Astro Miles real…#when I think of his home world I envision it all 50s styled#like cartoon depictions of that time with bright colours and bold geometry#in my head it’s idealistic but done so on purpose so that destroying such a place would be an even more absurd thing to do#destruction caused by his hubris and thirst for wanting something MORE wihtout appreciating what it was he already had#and now he has nothing in the end and it’s his fault and he knows it#thinking about him missing his parents and regretting that decision every single day hurts me 😭
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house's little laugh as wilson openly flirts with him through an MRI microphone is Doing Things to me
#they're just. they're#idk they're sure something#house md#hilson#damn it wait i just realized why this moment is getting to me so much#there is just something so *genuine* about it#like it's the tiniest little chuckle but#no one can see house right now#wilson can't see his reaction#he can't even hear house laugh because it's soundless except for the little breath house takes before returning the banter#house is in a ton of pain from his leg and he's self destructive and generally miserable#but just for a second wilson made him happy#and as tiny a moment as it is#there's something so precious about it because it's a rare moment of complete sincerity from house#and we know it's sincere because literally nobody can see him#so yeah as i said. it is Doing Things to me#house s02e13#house season 2#videos - house#op#house 2x13
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(guy who has never played cotl) haha au time
#this started as a design exercise bc i couldnt get sphinx/devon rex narinder out of my head#but the whole time i was thinking man imagine if the lamb brings him in as a follower but nobody knows he was actually. you know#and the followers are like haha wow our leader channels the power and wisdom of the one who waits almost as if they were them#would that be cool or what. anyway heres narinder reassuming his pre-bishop form and everything his flesh remembers before godhood#ok now im gonna ramble abt design notes#the singe marks were inspired by fallen angels like how some ppl say they burned while falling from heaven. i wanted smth like that when#the lamb is resurrected by nari.. their outfit is inspired by papal cloaks while narinders is based on crusader armor#the lambs name 'bellwether' is also a term used for sheep that wear a bell and lead the flock and i thought that was cool#idk what the thuribles do yet but i do have smth in mind where theyre linked together. and ofc the lamb has a shepherds staff#very proud of nari's little devil tail!! and it was hard to see bc its so dark but he has wrinkles around his forehead to conceal his#third eye. even he isnt aware of it (for now)#idk where im going with this au i just have a bunch of ideas?? basically the lamb is keeping nari's identity a secret from him so he doesnt#go down that path of powerhungry destruction. smth like trying to lead him down a better path but feels guilty lying to do that#also theyre in love with each other and theyre stupid pining idiots abt it. mwah#cult of the lamb#cotl#cotl lamb#cotl narinder#the one who waits#cotl the one who waits#narilamb#art#au#myart#my art#character design#cotl au#false prophet! au
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Do you think god lives in fear of what they've created.
#i like to think so#honkai star rail#hsr#hsr stelle#hsr nanook#i should make one for yaoshi too because yaoshi is ALSO extremely fine#but then i'd have to go down the entire list of gilfs (gods i'd like to f-)#and we'd just never be done then would we#especially since the trailblazer is canonically thirsty for a couple aeons without me even needing to do anything#we all know they're super normal about lan#per a certain swarm disaster occurrence#who would win: the godly incarnation of the concept of destruction or one feral human with a bomb in their body and zero self-preservation#i spent way too long making this#we commit to our bits here#even against all common sense#ray's records#nanook please show up in the simulated universe again i miss you
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was drunk at my friend's place yesterday and her bf was given some throwing knives, played around for a bit and i still got it 🧐 that was my last push to get back into knife throwing, haven't been into it since i was 17/18 lol. i ordered these ૮ ᴖﻌᴖა
edit: if ur here from my top posts you can see me throw them here!
#throwing knives is so fun...#i do the no spin technique and he was tryna see if i was as accurate by having me move back and he was like ur scary 💀#“you're so accurate and u don't have to calculate the distance for the spin to make it stick‚ u can just go straight for it frm anywhere”#i sure can buddy. I'm gonna get even better at it thanks 👍🏾#briefly considered a foot long throwing spike but feel like i cannot be given that kind of destructive power#i am going to obliterate something that is an outdoors toy 💀#i can make it stick most of the time but we drew little targets and pictures on a board and i could hit the smaller ones w mixed results#i wanna hit bullseye 🎯#my favorite flexes from last night were the times where Id throw the second knife in the same spot as the first n knock the old one down 😈
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I just think he deserves a glitter bazooka
YOU UNDERSTAND.
Scar, standing directly in front of the glitter bazooka: cub I can not allow you to use the glitter bazooka. I am looking you in the eyes. You are a danger to yourself and others. I am telling you that you can not use the glitter bazooka. Hand over the glitter bazooka.
Cub, with the glitter bazooka:
#scar misunderstands cub in the way that he believes that if he asks nicely#cub will simply not blast him with the glitter bazooka#scar is wrong. every time.#even grian is growing concerned after scar’s 15th time getting cubguy’d#hermitcraft#gtws#goodtimeswithscar#cubfan#cubfan135#btw THANK YOU?#he’s serving cunt??????????????#this is so sick#cubfan135 will craft weapons of mass destruction in this au.#this is a promise#amen#CUBGUY#CUBGUY‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️#I think actually the only person cub respects enough to have any restraint is mumbo#they r equally scared of each other#to me#as a treat
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sylvia plath, todd anderson and virginia woolf (aka ACTUAL tortured poets) watching taylor “im breaking up with my boyfriend for his intense depression and blaming it on him, im dating a racist who enjoys watching woc being brutalized and harasses young woc artists, i sent my fans out on a hate train to attack a young woc actress for a line she had to say as part of her job to show how mentally ill her character was, im dating a maga supporter, i refuse to say anything about a current genocide despite being the most influential person in the world right now, i am a billionaire, i fly 13 minute flights and have the highest carbon emission of any celebrity, i am a known white feminist who only speaks about issues when it affects me and has constantly let my fans get away with extreme racism and even encouraged it by associating myself with known racists” swift call herself a tortured poet (her writing sounds like a bunch of thesaurus words slapped over gabba hanna and rupi kaur-esque poetry that was created purely as a trinket for an edgy pinterest board)
#anti taylor swift#like she can be problematic that’s okay#there are SO many problematic artists i like#but she’s not even that good#like read sylvia plath or virginia woolf or listen to LDR or fiona apple or mitski or lorde or boygenius or olivia rodrigo#aka her peers#and realise how much better they are#they truly write art because they have a compassion and rawness for it#whereas taytay only writes to get more money LOL#she’s so extremely privileged that her life is not at all relatable and now she tries to make it so#by romanticizing the most mundane#thats never been your brand babe now it’s going to sound like dogshit#GUTS by olivia rodrigo is better because it has such an intensity to it. liv means what she says and you can feel it!#fiona apple means what she says when she writes about begging her lover to love her back!#mitski means what she says when she writes that she is self destructive and puts herself in bad situations since that’s all she knows!#lana means what she says when she writes about her suicide attempt at 15 because of constant abuse from her mother and crippling depression#all of it such haunting and beautiful works because it truly comes from the soul and isn’t a cash grab#Anyway i’m so sorry virginia and sylvia and todd#todd anderson#AND JOE ALWYN#joe alwyn my favourite man ever#joe alwyn#dead poets society#anderperry#sylvia plath#virginia woolf#the bell jar#lana del rey#fiona apple#mitski
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How awful do you have to be for Heaven to nickname you “the three tumors” when Feng Xin and Mu Qing are around constantly destroying the capital while everyone laughs about it??
Ling Wen, Shi Wudu, and Pei Ming. What did you do??
#I mean yea I KNOW what they did#but that’s just so iconic okay#feng Xin and mu Qing are knwn for mass destruction and all the officials are giggling as they watch placing bets#the three tumors on the other hand are considered terrors even though I’m pretty sure they DONT cause mass destruction and chaos#and at that point no one even KNOWS what Shi Wudu did to He Xuan they just all hate him because he’s a dick#feng xin#fengqing#mu qing#pei ming#ling wen#shi wudu#mxtx tgcf#tgcf#tgcf donghua#tgcf manhua#tgcf spoilers#tgcf novel#tgcf season 2#tgcf mu qing#tgcf feng xin#tgcf fengqing#tgcf pei ming#tgcf shi wudu#heaven official's blessing#heaven officials blessing#heaven official’s blessing#mxtx novels#mxtx#mxtx characters#mxtx fandom
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Homeward Bound - Smokey Old Man Outis and Heathcliff
#gettit cus Outis has bound her course towards her home and Heath is bound to WH.#ngl this has really hammered in that these two are two sides of a similar enough coin. no wonder they share so many EGO#the 'before I take your home' bit fits specially well with Heath and how he sees himself as bringing inevitable destruction#and with Outis it connects to how her icon says 'I have my family. They had theirs.' implying that the home she took away was the families#of either her men or her enemies. probably both#also smoke#other quotes:#'I wanted to go home but couldn't make it.'#'like it was wishing to let go of a longing'#'It was my only home...'#'Yes... This is my home I can't return to. It saddens me just to look... but if I can't do even that my mind wouldn't be at ease'#really reversed engineered an abno outta them huh.#normal tags:#fanart#limbus company#heathcliff lcb#outis lcb#⛈️👢#fan E.G.Os
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#ep 2 is for their very particular form of dating 😉
Loki 1x02 // 2x02
#mobius#loki#lokius#mcuedit#lokiedit#marveledit#owen wilson#tom hiddleston#the agents of chaos that they are#once again i ask who's doing it like them 😘✌️#now with that said the struggle is real not to go full on angst with my giffing but i'm trying to keep it light for the month of romance lo#and there's something so hilariously lovely about how they don't even hesitate to show excitement about enjoying this stuff together??#'this stuff' being. y'know. total destruction and all but let them have their moment 🥺#marvel#owenwilsonedit#dianagifs
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