#Evan and Barty are just as bad but Evan is more personable

[deathnguts]

Barty: Why do you always get mad at me and never at Evan?!

Regulus: Because you’re a repeat offender.

Barty: So is Evan!

Regulus: *gasp* He would never.

Evan, cuddled up with his head agaisnt Regulus’ chest and Regulus’ fingers scratching his totally innocent whittle head: I would never.

[crescenthistory]

I saw that you wanted to write the girlies into your fics more often, so I wanted to make a request 8) Can I request a reader x Regulus where reader is crushing BAD on Reggie, and the girlies take it upon themselves to try and do a little matchmaking? I love your work, and your recent Barty fic was AMAZING btw!!!

the girlies<333 oh how i love them and their silly little adventures, thank you for giving me an excuse to write them babes! and for being soso sweet omg you're an angel

Summary: Dorcas has had it with two of her best friends walking on eggshells around each other to avoid their feelings. So, she puts her best meddlers on the case to end it once and for all, and make the idiots kiss.

Words: 5.7k (i am unwell)

Warnings: not proofread, mutual pining believed to be unrequited love, use of y/n, slytherin!fem!reader, background girlies, rosekiller and dorlene, teasing, awkwardness, language, confessions of love, really cliche but makes up for it in sweetness?

Note: who wouldn't be down bad crying at the gym for reggie?

Though you believed being humble was virtuous, you did pride yourself with being a particularly kind person.

Most people in the castle got over well with you, and you had been able to float in and out of all the major friend groups in your year. The self-declared Marauders often ran to hide with you when chased by a consequence in one form or another, and the Hufflepuff quidditch team seemingly adopted you after you cheered them up after their first loss of the season. With all the pressures of Hogwarts and the lives you were soon to embark on afterwards, it was the least you could do to spread some joy, and perhaps receive a bit in return.

At the end of the day, you always came back to your friend group, though – a heap of entangled limbs and snickering, usually found in the same trusted corner of the Slytherin common room. Barty was always in some way or another physically on top of Evan, rarely conventional cuddling positions, while Pandora sat cross-legged on the floor by them, preferably braiding someone’s hair. Dorcas would sit on the table or lounge chair, waving her arms emphatically, often hitting either you or her girlfriend Marlene – the one Gryffindor you all collectively accepted – square in the face, multiple times throughout the night.

Oh, how you loved them.

And if their cheers every time you returned to them from your little friendship tours, as Barty called them, were anything to go by – they loved you too.

Then, there was Regulus Black.

The victim of whatever positions Evan and Barty felt like sitting in, as he always sat at the other end of the sofa they inhabited. The calm and collected of the bunch, except for when Dorcas or Barty said something particularly outlandish he just had to argue with. The multitasker, always with a book in hand, whether for personal enjoyment or study-related, somehow devouring them while catching every word around him. The wittiest one, well-timed remarks hitting people – usually Barty – square in the chest.

The object of all your desires.

Because while you were a kind person, and arguably well-liked, Regulus was the one person you never managed to get quite close to. You were in the same little circle of friends, sure, and had been having friendly conversation and banter for the past 7 years. In theory, you know each other like the backs of your hands, but in practice you had never been alone in a room with him for more than a few minutes before he runs off.

It hurt you once upon a time, wondering what was wrong with you to make him seemingly be repelled from you like oil from water. Over the years though, you realised that is just kind of how Regulus operates. There is some reason behind all the mechanics, but they are not for others to know, just him to sulk over, and you have to accept what you’re given until he’s ready to offer more. Though you tried not to dwell on the fact that it was only you he seemed to avoid to that extent. You had to leave it to him to figure it out, you had decided.

You could live with that, but distance unfortunately made your heart grow fonder. Painfully so.

Regulus Black with his gorgeous black curls that have been so soft to the touch every time you have been close to it during your late nights around the fireplace. Regulus Black with his flowy white shirts and silver rings, gleaming in the glow of Hogwarts’s many candles. Regulus Black with his stupidly beautiful laugh whenever one of his friends could withdraw a real one from him, as if fished from the depths of his chest. Regulus Black with his striking grey eyes that you could get lost in, and have embarrassingly so, many a time. Regulus Black with his–

“Y/N would you quit pining for just a second and listen to me!” Dorcas’s exasperated voice cut through your musings, as you looked up at her with a non quizzical hum, only causing her to groan louder.

You were laying on your bed, almost ready for the night, while Dorcas apparently had tried to get through to you from her own bed mere metres from yours. Your best friend was sat on her bedside, hands on her knees as she looked just about ready to tackle you. Lovingly, of course.

“How’d you know I was even thinking about that?” you challenge, but there is no real fight in you as Dorcas’s gaze has already levelled you.

“You think about much else?”

“Rude.”

“Ruder to call him ‘that’. Put some respect on Reggie’s name.” You rolled your eyes, and had to fight the urge to shush her.

“Oh, don’t worry, he can’t hear us all the way from the boys’ dormitories.” 7 years of friendship had taught her almost too much about you.

“Would you stop trying to read my mind?” You climbed over in her bed to give her the attention she so craved. “It’s a bit intense.”

Dorcas flopped down on her back, sighing at nothing in particular. “You love that I know you so well. And someone ought to read your mind, if you’re not going to speak it.”

“Maybe some things are better left unsaid,” you teased her, but she kept giving you a narrow stare.

“I simply refuse to believe that.”

“Hey, where’s Marls?” you ask, not necessarily because you missed the blonde and pink haired menace you had come to view as a sister. Mostly just to shift the topic at hand. “Wasn't she supposed to stay the night?”

“Yeah, but she’s running an errand for me.”

“An errand?” You quirked a brow at her, looking over at a clock you kept by your bedside. “12 minutes before curfew?”

“Yes,” Dorcas said, giving you a duh look. Stupid you.

As if on cue, Marlene all but kicked down your door with a grin plastered on her face. “How ya doin’ ladies? I brought friends.” In behind her came Pandora and Lily, smiling a bit more softly, though there was a mischievous glint in Lily’s eyes that could only be a poor habit picked up from a certain Gryffindor bunch.

You gave enthusiastic greetings in return, happy to see your friends, but your brow still furrowed at the unexpected guests. A quick glance at Dorcas, whose lips curled into a grin so innocent that it immediately raised suspicions, only deepened your confusion.

“What’s this about?” you asked, voice laced with curiosity but also a growing sense of foreboding. A roomful of your closest friends this late at night – this had all the hallmarks of an ambush.

“Oh, nothing,” Dorcas said, too casually. She was still sprawled on her back, her eyes half-closed, but you didn’t miss the smirk playing on her lips. “We just thought it would be super fun to have a little... chat.”

Pandora was already situated on the floor right in front of you, humming some unfamiliar tune as she twisted her locs absentmindedly, while Lily leaned against the doorframe, arms crossed, a knowing smile dancing across her face. Marlene, never one for subtlety, was practically bouncing on the spot, barely containing her excitement.

“A chat?” You narrowed your eyes at them, already sensing that you were the centre of whatever this was. “That everyone knows about beforehand except me? I think that's called an intervention.”

Marlene’s grin widened. “You’re smarter than you look.”

“Hey!” You threw a pillow at her, which she easily dodged, cackling. “Okay, seriously girls. What’s going on?”

Lily stepped forward, eyes twinkling with mischief. “We’ve been talking. Well, more like observing.”

“Observing what exactly?” you asked, a sinking feeling creeping into your stomach. You knew these girls, and you knew when they were up to something.

“More like observing who,” Marlene interjected with a wink, as she casually threw herself onto Dorcas’s bed beside you, almost kicking her girlfriend in the face.

Pandora hummed softly, eyes now trained on her chipping purple nailpolish. “It’s just… you’ve been staring at Regulus like a lovesick puppy for years, and he’s been acting all distant and broody in response. Now that we're in our final year, the harmony should be set right before we all leave.”

You sat up straighter. “I have not–”

“Oh, come off it, Y/N.” Dorcas finally sat up, folding her legs beneath her. “You practically melt every time he so much as glances your way, and we’ve all seen the way you fawn over his hair like it’s spun silk. It’s borderline painful.”

Your face flushed, but you tried to play it off with a wave of your hand. “I don’t fawn.”

“You do,” Lily said, with the smallest hint of a smirk. “And Regulus? Merlin, that boy has been pining for you for too long. If you're a lovesick puppy, he's a kicked street dog.”

Your heart stumbled in your chest. “Wait– what?”

Marlene clapped her hands together in delight, as if she had been waiting for this exact moment. “Oh, darling, it’s so obvious. He’s completely smitten. Why do you think he’s always avoiding you? The boy’s terrified he’ll do something stupid like… I don’t know, confess his undying love for you in front of everyone.”

You blinked, completely taken aback. You expected them to give you a get it together speech, not... whatever this is.

“But– but, what, no, he’s always so cold around me. I thought–”

“That’s because he’s a socially inept idiot when it comes to feelings,” Dorcas interjected with a shrug, never one to sugarcoat it, though her voice softened when she took in your confused face. “Look, Regulus has spent his whole life trying to remain in control, but when he's around you he can't. So, if he can’t figure out how to act, he just… doesn’t.”

Lily nodded. “He’s not used to wanting something as much as he wants you.”

"Oh, he would not be happy knowing you're psychoanalysing him like this," you mumbled, mind whirling, to which Marlene and Dorcas just cackled.

Humour at the expense of their friend – what could be better?

You struggled to process this new information. You had left your relationship with Regulus to fate, an open invitation for friendship without pursuing anything more than that. As long as you could admire him from afar, you figured it was enough. The thought that he might have felt the same, but not know how to go about it felt foreign to you. It seemed impossible, and yet, when you thought back, the signs were there. The way his eyes lingered on you just a bit too long when he thought you weren't looking. The way his laughter – rare and beautiful – sounded a little softer, a little more genuine, when you were around. The way he physically ran away from you when you got too close, always some handy excuse ready...

You had chalked it up to his aloofness, to his enigmatic nature. A large part of you, fragile and uncertain, still wanted to.

“I don’t know…” you started, still hesitant. “What if you’re wrong?”

Pandora smiled softly at you, her eyes gentle but firm. “We’re not wrong, Y/N. The stars told me as much. But if your heart needs proof, we’re going to help you get it.”

Your gaze snapped to her, as blood rushed through your head. “Help me… how?”

“That’s the best part!” Marlene all but squealed, bouncing up from the bed and throwing her arm around you. “We’re going to play matchmaker!”

You stared at them, wide-eyed. “What? No! You’re not– no meddling! You’ll make things worse.”

Dorcas just gave you a knowing look, leaning back on her hands. “How can we make things worse if there is nothing at fuck all going on between you right now because you can't get your heads out of your asses?"

"We're friends, Dorcas!"

She sighed, as if you were a child, but gave you a soft look. You think she was trying to be reassuring. "We’re not going to make things worse. We’re going to force you two to face each other, and maybe then you’ll finally stop dancing around your feelings.”

“I don’t–”

“Too late, darling,” Marlene interrupted, her grin wicked. “Plans are already in motion.”

Lily smirked. “We’ve got it all figured out.”

You were about to protest again when Pandora placed a soft hand on your shoulder. “Trust us,” she said, her voice a soothing balm against the rising anxiety in your chest. “This is going to work.”

You sighed, rubbing your temples. There was no stopping them, you knew that much. Once this group had an idea in their heads, there was no turning back. Still, the thought of whatever they had planned made your stomach twist in both excitement and dread.

Marlene clapped her hands together once more. “Right, first things first. Tomorrow, we’re going to get you two alone.”

“And then what?”

Dorcas’s grin widened. “Then, you’re going to talk to him.”

"Talk?" you repeated, your voice squeaking slightly.

"Yep," Lily said with a satisfied nod. "Just talk."

"That's the worst plan I've ever heard in my life. Scratch that, not even really a plan. Just the worst I've ever heard."

"You're lashing out 'cause you're scared." Marlene said in a fake-hurt voice, wiping invisible tears from her eyes as Dorcas shoved her.

You swallowed hard, your mind spinning with a hundred different emotions.

“Don’t worry, love," Lily almost cooed at you. "We’ll make sure everything goes perfectly.”

"How?"

"We'll see where the day takes us."

Your eyes flitted between the four of them, realising then that there was no getting out of this, and that you were not sure any of you even knew what this was yet.

You let out a groan as you flopped ceremoniously down on the bed, hiding your face in your eyes.

All girls cheered as they knew that was your sound of defeat, and thus their green flag to go crazy.

The next day, your nerves were buzzing like a poorly-executed Cheering Charm gone wrong. The plan – their plan – was apparently in full swing, and you had absolutely no control over it. In fact, your only plan was to somehow avoid being alone with Regulus Black at all costs.

Despite Dorcas's little lecture to you this morning about just ripping the fucking bandaid off love, gosh, you were entirely not on board anymore. Not that you ever were.

You had tried pleading with them again at breakfast, but they had brushed you off with reassuring pats and sly grins, as if your rising panic was nothing but a trivial detail. And so, here you were, pacing in the common room while the rest of the girls casually lounged, casting side glances at you and whispering like they weren’t blatantly scheming.

“Stop fussing, would you,” Marlene drawled, draped across one of the armchairs, looking far too pleased with herself. “We’ve got it all handled.”

“You’ve got nothing handled,” you hissed, feeling the dread creep up your spine. “You’re going to ruin everything. I mean, what if he freaks out? Or worse – what if he laughs at me?”

Lily, who was lounging with a book in her lap, raised an eyebrow over the top of it. “Y/N, Regulus Black doesn’t laugh at anything that isn’t Junior falling down the stairs. You’ll be fine.”

“Yeah, and even if he does freak out,” Dorcas added, casually tossing an apple in the air, “it’s because he’s an emotionally stunted mess, not because he doesn’t like you.”

Your face burned. “That’s not exactly comforting.”

“Trust us, Y/N. We wouldn’t be doing this if we weren’t sure," Marlene groans. "He likes you, okay? He’s just too much of a brooding, melodramatic git to do anything about it.”

You opened your mouth to protest again, but before you could, Pandora, ever the quiet voice of reason, gave you a soft smile. “It’ll be okay. Just be honest. You might be surprised by what he says.”

For half a second you dwelled on the fact that Pandora was the one everyone went to as their little therapist, and maybe her reassurance is not just speculation, as with the other girls.

You didn't allow that second to drag out, lest your head explode.

The sincerity in her voice almost made you believe them, though. Yet the idea of being locked in a room with Regulus, of all people, and forced to confront the swirling mess of emotions you had been harbouring for years? That was terrifying.

“I don’t know,” you said, backing toward the door in a desperate attempt to flee. “Maybe we should just–"

Dorcas was quicker than she looked. She slid in front of the exit, blocking your escape route with a triumphant grin. “Nope. You’re staying put.”

Before you could make a break for it, Marlene hopped to her feet, suddenly all business. “Right. It’s time. Pandora, Lily, you ready?”

“Ready,” they both said in unison, as if this were a Quidditch match and not the absolute destruction of your sanity.

“Wait– what’s happening?” you asked, voice rising with panic.

“We’re just going to have a little chat with Regulus,” Lily said with a wink, standing up and smoothing her skirt. “Should only take a minute.”

You watched in horror as the three of them sauntered out of the common room, leaving you in a state of rising dread. Dorcas remained blocking the door, arms crossed and a gleam of determination in her eyes.

“You don’t have to do this,” you said, trying one last desperate appeal to her better nature.

“Oh, I really think I do,” she replied with a grin. “Now, be a good sport. You’ll thank me later.”

Dorcas with her quidditch strength, picked you up and carried you to your dormitory despite your many loud protests. She practically shoved you inside, landing awkwardly on the floor, heart pounding in your chest.

“Just… read something and try to relax,” Dorcas called over her shoulder, slamming the door shut behind you. “We’ll handle everything.”

“Dorcas!” you yelped, but she was already gone.

You groaned, pushing yourself up off the floor and onto one of the beds, grabbing a random book from the bedside table in a futile attempt to calm your racing thoughts. It didn’t help.

Not even five minutes later, you heard the faint sound of footsteps outside the door, accompanied by hushed whispers that made your stomach drop.

“Marlene, what are you up to?” you muttered to yourself, sinking lower into the bed. You barely had time to brace yourself before Marlene’s voice echoed from the hallway, far too chipper for the situation.

“Oh, Reggie!” she called out in a sing-song voice that was dripping with false innocence. "I think I saw the creature run in here!"

Your heart immediately stuttered in your chest. No, no, no–

“In behind this... closed door?” came Regulus’s unmistakable voice, low and suspicious. There was always something about his tone, that subtle roughness to his otherwise smooth words, that made the hairs on the back of your neck stand on end.

“Ugh, yes, please go fetch it,” Lily chimed in, her tone too casual to be convincing.

There was a beat of silence, and you could practically feel Regulus’s confusion through the door. “In the girls’s dormitory?” His voice was flat, unimpressed. "Can't you guys?"

"No, you're the one who got an Outstanding in Care of Magical Creatures. Please."

They couldn't be serious. What a master plan.

“It's important, Reg,” Pandora added, ever so softly, but with an edge of persistence that could sway anyone who wasn’t keen on questioning her.

There was another pause, and you held your breath. You could picture Regulus now – his sharp, silver eyes narrowing, a flicker of doubt crossing his face, his brain probably piecing together that whatever this was, it wasn’t something he should agree to. Not even Regulus is immune to charm and coercion from his friends though –and he probably couldn’t fathom the idea of Marlene calling for his help if it weren’t truly necessary – and you clearly heard his reluctant sigh through the door.

“Fine,” he muttered, footsteps nearing the door.

You had just enough time to consider how humiliating it would be to try and throw yourself out the window, but alas, Hogwarts windows didn’t accommodate such escapes.

The door creaked open, and there he was.

Standing in the doorway, looking like the very embodiment of a storm in human form, all brooding energy and understated elegance. His black curls were slightly dishevelled, his usual pristine appearance marred just enough by the casual looseness of his shirt collar, which somehow made him look even more effortlessly intimidating.

He looked around the room, eyes landing on you and widening slightly.

"Oh, hey Y/N, have you seen–"

Before you could answer or before he could even finish his sentence – slam. The door shut behind him with a loud click, the lock snapping into place.

Regulus’s head whipped around, his hand immediately going to the doorknob, shaking it lightly. “What the bloody hell?”

You watched in horror as the unmistakable sounds of footsteps retreated down the hallway, followed by Marlene’s faint, gleeful laughter.

“I’ll kill her,” you whispered, more to yourself than anyone.

Regulus sighed deeply, his hand dropping from the door. He turned back to you, jaw tight, a muscle twitching at the corner of his mouth. "That makes two of us," he said, having clearly heard you across the room that felt increasingly smaller.

You laughed lowly, but couldn't quite meet his eyes.

“So… I’m assuming this beast was part of some master plan.”

You nodded, feeling your face heat up. “Yeah, pretty much.”

There was a heavy silence between you, the kind that felt both unbearably awkward and strangely charged. Regulus stayed by the door, leaning against it as though contemplating whether he could somehow break through it with sheer willpower. You, meanwhile, sat on the bed with your heart pounding in your chest like it was trying to escape the mess your friends had created.

Regulus’s eyes flicked to you, his expression guarded but curious. “You don’t… know what this is about, do you?”

You tried to swallow past the sudden lump in your throat, your fingers gripping the edge of the book like it might anchor you to reality. “I have a guess.”

He raised an eyebrow, crossing his arms over his chest in that way that made him look even more imposing. “And?”

“And,” you echoed, your voice faltering under the weight of what you were about to say, “they seem to think that locking us in a room together is the perfect opportunity for us to, uh… talk.”

Regulus let out a humourless chuckle, shaking his head as he leaned his back fully against the door. “Talk. Of course. That sounds exactly like something Marlene would come up with.”

There was a pause, and his gaze, which had flickered away momentarily, settled on you again. You could swear his eyes softened ever so slightly as they swept over you – taking in the awkward way you sat on the bed, your hands still gripping the book like it was a lifeline. You noticed the way his shoulders, usually squared with tension, seemed to relax just a fraction, as though being here, with you, wasn’t as unbearable as you had feared.

He cleared his throat, clearly struggling to find something to say. “So… what were you reading?”

“Oh, uh…” You squinted at the title, stifling a laughter as you realised what it was. “It’s, um… Hogwarts, A History.”

Regulus’s lips twitched, amusement flickering in his eyes. “Really? You’re reading that?”

Your face heated even more, and you quickly abandoned the book, tossing it to the side. “Okay, no. I was trying to look busy while panicking over the fact that I was about to be locked in a room with you.”

"You knew?"

"I got a small warning after I was thrown in here."

"By Dorcas or Marlene?" he asked, amusement gleaming in his eyes because he knew you meant it literally.

"Dorcas."

He hummed in approval before his brows furrowed, as if registering your whole conversation, and he took a step closer, his usual guarded exterior slipping just a bit. “Why would that make you panic?”

The one question you didn’t have a safe answer for. You could feel your heart racing again, but there was something about the way he looked at you, something soft and searching in his gaze, that made it impossible to retreat.

You swallowed hard. “Because… I don't know. You’re Regulus Black.”

The words came out in a rush, like they explained everything, and to you, they did. Regulus, though, just stared at you, his expression unreadable.

“I don’t understand,” he said quietly, his voice low but noticeably not cold. “Why would my family matter?”

You laughed nervously, standing up from the bed as if that might help calm the chaotic swirl of emotions in your chest. “Not your family. You. Regulus. You’re just... you. You’re smart and brilliant and intimidatingly beautiful and–” You stopped yourself, suddenly horrified by the direction your rant was going. “And it just didn’t seem like you’d ever want to be stuck in a room with me.”

Regulus blinked, his posture stiffening as if your words had physically hit him. For a moment, the usual cool facade he wore cracked, revealing something vulnerable beneath.

“You think I don’t want to be around you?” His voice was barely above a whisper, but there was an edge of disbelief in it.

You looked away, unable to bear the intensity of his gaze. “I mean, yeah. You always seem so distant when I’m around. Like you can’t wait to get away.”

Regulus was silent for a moment, the air between you growing thick with tension. When he finally spoke, his voice was softer, quieter. “That’s not because I don’t want to be around you.”

You lifted your eyes to meet his, surprised by the raw honesty in his voice.

He stepped closer, his movements slower, more deliberate, like he was unsure of what he was doing for the first time in his life. “I… avoid you because I don’t know how to be around you without making a fool of myself.”

You blinked, completely thrown by his confession. “What?”

Regulus exhaled a shaky breath, running a hand through his hair, clearly frustrated with himself. “I’m not good at this – at feelings. At talking, like the girls wanted. You make me feel things I don’t know how to handle. So, I do the only thing I know how to do. I keep my distance.”

Your heart thudded in your chest, a mix of disbelief and hope rising in your throat. “Regulus…”

He met your gaze, and for the first time in the years you had known him, you felt as if you actually saw him in his eyes. The real him.

“I’ve liked you for longer than I care to admit,” he said, his voice low and steady now. “And it scares the hell out of me.”

You felt your breath catch, his words sinking into your chest and settling there, warm and heavy. It was as if the entire world had shifted in that moment, the tension between you now a living, breathing thing, pulsing with the weight of everything left unsaid.

"L– liked me?"

Regulus couldn't do anything but nod.

Without thinking, you closed the distance between you, stepping closer until you were just a breath away from him. You could see the way his chest rose and fell, his eyes flickering down to your lips for the briefest second before he caught himself, jaw tightening.

“Regulus,” you whispered, the world narrowing to just the space between you. “I’ve liked you too. For so long.”

His breath hitched ever so slightly, eyes wild.

He didn’t respond with words – he didn’t have to. In one swift motion, he closed the remaining gap between you, his hands gently cupping your face as he leaned in and pressed his lips to yours.

The kiss was tentative, as if both of you were still testing the waters of something too fragile to fully comprehend. Regulus’s hands, cool but steady, cradled your face with a gentleness that sent shivers down your spine. The rest of the world faded away – your racing thoughts, your anxieties, the locked door behind you – none of it mattered in that moment.

It was just him. It had always been him.

As the kiss deepened, Regulus’s usual restraint seemed to dissolve, replaced by something raw and urgent. His fingers curled against your skin, one hand suddenly on the small of your back, drawing you closer until there was barely any space left between you. You felt his heart beating against your chest, fast and unsteady, matching the erratic rhythm of your own.

It was everything you had imagined, everything you needed.

You melted into him, lips, body and soul, before you pulled away breathless. The room felt impossibly still around you.

You were both standing there, eyes wide, inches apart, as if neither of you could quite believe what had just happened. Regulus’s lips were still parted, his gaze flickering from your eyes to your lips and back again, as though he was trying to memorise everything about this moment.

"Do you mean it?" he murmured. You felt his lips brush yours as he spoke.

You didn't need to ask what he meant. Instead you whispered a passionate yes before kissing him again, lingering against him. You could feel him begin to smile against you.

"This is not what I expected to come out of this," you whispered, your voice shaky but filled with a quiet, disbelieving laugh.

Regulus let out a breathless chuckle, one that sounded almost surprised, like he couldn’t quite believe it either. “I can't say I did either.” He paused, his thumb brushing lightly against your cheek. “But I’m not complaining.”

You smiled, warmth flooding your chest, and for the first time in what felt like forever, there was no uncertainty hanging between you. Just you and Regulus, and the quiet realisation that maybe, just maybe, all those years of longing and misunderstanding had led you exactly where you were meant to be.

You were about to say something – something witty, maybe, to break the tension – but then–

BANG!

The door flew open, slamming against the wall with such force that both you and Regulus jumped apart, your heads whipping toward the entrance just in time to see Marlene, Lily, Dorcas, and Pandora tumble inside, practically tripping over each other in their mad dash to get through the door.

“There they are!” Marlene shouted, grinning like the Cheshire Cat. She pointed dramatically at the two of you, looking like she had just witnessed the Quidditch World Cup. “I told you it would work!”

Lily snorted, pushing past Marlene and raising an eyebrow as she glanced between you and Regulus, both still slightly dishevelled and very much caught in the act. “Honestly, Marlene, you could have given them a few more minutes.”

You groaned, heat rushing to your face as you buried it in your hands. “Were you all just waiting outside the entire time?”

Pandora gave you an apologetic smile, but there was a mischievous twinkle in her eyes. It made her look all the more like Evan. “We were just… keeping an eye on things.”

Regulus, who had taken a deliberate step back when the door burst open, gravitated slightly more towards you again as he ran a hand through his hair. “I can’t believe you lot talked me into this.” For all intents and purposes he looked exasperated – but his lips twitched in amusement.

“Oh, don’t act like you hated it,” Dorcas teased. “You’re welcome for the facilitation by the way.”

“Facilitation?” Regulus repeated, his voice dry as he glanced around the room full of over-enthusiastic matchmakers. “That’s one word for it.”

Marlene was practically bouncing on the balls of her feet. “I have no words for how pleased I am with myself right now.”

"Evidently." You and Dorcas chorused at the same time, causing you both to giggle, though you tried to stifle it.

“You’re all completely insufferable," you said through an ever-growing smile.

“And yet,” Marlene drawled, throwing an arm around Dorcas’s shoulders, “you love us anyway.”

Regulus caught your eye, and despite the absurdity of the situation and the embarrassment of being ambushed by your meddlesome friends, you couldn’t help but laugh. His lips quirked up in that rare, almost-hidden smile he reserved for moments like this.

“Alright, alright,” Lily said, clapping her hands together as if trying to herd a group of first-years. “Now that this mission is accomplished –” she shot a pointed look at you and Regulus, “– we should probably leave them alone.”

Marlene looked like she was about to protest, but Pandora nudged her toward the door. “Give them some space.”

As they filed out, Marlene shot you one last wink over her shoulder. “Don’t worry, I expect all the juicy details later.”

You groaned again, shaking your head as they finally disappeared down the hallway, their laughter echoing faintly behind them. When the door closed with a soft thud, the room seemed impossibly quiet again, save for the soft crackle of the fire in the corner.

You turned back to Regulus, who was watching you with a look that was both amused and affectionate, his usual mask of indifference nowhere to be found. He stepped closer to you, arms circling around your waist.

"Your friends are idiots," he said with no real malice in his tone.

"Yeah, but so are we."

In privacy with you, Regulus's smile widened in a way that made your stomach flip, as he leaned in for another kiss.

[marauder-misprint]

Date

Series Masterlist

Sirius Black x Fem!Slytherin!reader

2k words

cw: fluff, mention of Walburga's A+ parenting

Dorcas watches as you pace around your dorm. You look ready for your Hogsmeade date with Sirius. Mentally? You’re a mix of freaking out and angry. You aren’t sure why you’re freaking out but you know why you’re angry. Regulus. You knew you shouldn’t be too mad at him. It was just one date and then Sirius would be in his debt for some unnamed favor. But it was going to be a wasted day. This was a sentiment you repeatedly reminded Dorcas. She was waiting for you to get out of your own head so the two of you could meet your dates outside the Great Hall. 

“Is it too late to fall mysteriously ill?” you ask, pausing your pacing momentarily. 

“Yes,” Dorcas answers curtly. “And we really should get going. They’ll be waiting for us.”

“Marlene is always waiting on you. We’re in the dungeons, remember?”

“Yes, I’m aware. But Black doesn’t need to be waiting on you.”

You make a sound that says he does. 

“He doesn’t. Come on.”

Dorcas grabs your hand and pulls you toward the door. Pandora, Barty, Evan and Regulus are all sitting in the common room. You send Regulus a death glare as Dorcas continues to drag you out of the Slytherin Dungeons. You swear you can hear Barty and Evan’s laughter through the common room door after it closes behind you. 

“So sorry we’re late,” Dorcas says, finally releasing your hand outside of the Great Hall. She kisses Marlene’s cheek. “Someone,” she gives you a pointed look, “was dragging her feet.”

You roll your eyes before giving Sirius an unapologetic look. He just smiles and throws an arm over your shoulder.

“Nervous for our date, are you?” he asks cheekily. He knows it’s not nerves.

“Whatever helps you sleep at night,” you grumble. 

Sirius steers you out of the castle and to the path to Hogsmeade. Dorcas and Marlene linger back, letting Sirius put some distance between them. The girls had been recruited to ensure that you at least got to Hogsmeade with Sirius. It wasn’t exactly a secret that you yelled at Regulus for saying ‘yes’ to his brother.

“So, what do you usually do in Hogsmeade?” Sirius asks. 

You shrug. “Aren’t we just going to Honeydukes and Broomsticks?”

“If that’s all you want to do. That was just supposed to get you here”

“Here,” you repeat. “Under your arm, is that where you want me?”

“It’s a nice place to have you.”

“What a line, Black…” 

“What?” he asks, cocking his head slightly. “It’s the truth. I wasn’t lying when I said that I enjoy myself when I’m around you.”

You snort a laugh as you pull out from under his arm. “Name someone you don’t enjoy yourself around.”

“My parents.”

The immediateness of the answer throws you off guard. As does the answer itself. You had heard some of the horror stories from Regulus, but you didn’t know how deep it went. Regulus seemed… fine. 

“Yeah? That was a quick answer. Want to elaborate?”

“Are we getting into the deep stuff right away?” he asks with a raised eyebrow. “We haven’t even made it to Hogsmeade yet!”

“Just curious how bad your parents actually are. Regulus only opens up so much about them.” 

If you had been looking at Sirius, you would’ve seen his face go stoney. It was one thing to talk about his parents and childhood with the Marauders; it was going to be another to discuss it with you. You knew Regulus. You were friends with him, and in Slytherin with him.

“There’s more than one reason I ran away over the summer. There’s only so much a person can take.” 

“So much of what?” 

“The abuse.”

You expect him to leave it at that and finish the walk to Hogsmeade in silence. But he doesn’t.

“The yelling. The curses. The bigotry. The goddamn blood purity mindset. I had to get out of there. And I’m not leaving him behind, if that’s what you’re thinking. I’m going to get him out of there too.” 

“I wasn’t going to-”

“It was just so spur of the moment this summer. I just snapped. I needed to breathe. And now that I can, I can help him get out.”

“Sirius-”

“I didn’t want to leave Regulus behind. He’s my brother. I hated leaving him in that house. And-”

“Sirius!” This time you interrupt him. “Are you okay?”

You reach up and wipe a tear off his cheek. He isn’t sure when he started crying. He stops walking and wipes the rest of his face on his sleeve. He chuckles but it sounds wrong. It sounds sad.

“Yeah. Yeah. I’m good. I’m fine.” He pauses to take a deep breath. “Very cheerful way to start this date, huh?” 

“‘Fraid that’s my fault, isn’t it? I asked you to elaborate.”

“And how could you know about Walburga and Orion?”

“You said it was deep stuff. I should’ve left it…”

Sirius shakes his head as you approach the small bridge to Hogsmeade. 

“Just don’t go treating me and Reg differently now that you know. He’d hate it.”

“People walk on eggshells around you?” you ask softly.

“It flips a switch and suddenly I’m back to being a child who needs taking care of.”

You laugh. “Well, you may be a child, but you certainly don’t need taking care of.”

“Oh, if you want to see a child…” Sirius says, a happier look returning to his face, “then we should start at Honeydukes.”

“Lead the way, Black,” you say rather nonchalantly.

He grabs your hand and pulls you through the village toward the sweets shop. Once inside, you understood fully what he meant. He flits around the store like a hummingbird, never at one stand for too long, but soon enough, he has his arms full of candy. You followed him around and picked out your own treats. As promised, he buys everything you picked out.

“Black family fortune,” he says casually as he hands several galleons to the shopkeeper. 

“Would you mind if we went to Scrivenshaft’s?” you ask Sirius.

“Anywhere you want to go, we’re going.”

You smile and this time you lead him to the store. He holds your bag of candy as you wander the quill shop. He diligently follows you and listens to you ramble on about the pros and cons of different quills, which tip types you preferred and which feathers you thought were the prettiest. After you picked a gorgeous set that came with a fresh ink pot, Sirius insists on paying again. 

“You’ll be using them to write to me over Christmas. It’s the least I can do.”

You roll your eyes but oblige him. Could you really complain about not having to spend your own money? Sirius saw it as a win that you didn’t retort with something about not writing to him. Maybe you were warming up to the idea of him. Maybe he was converting you to a Sirius Person.

Once you leave that store, you and Sirius make your way to the Three Broomsticks. Your conversation is lighthearted and teasing. He asks about your family, which is quite different from his. You tell him about your mother’s disdain for pets. You talk about what careers you’re thinking about for after Hogwarts. You talk about his life at the Potters’. 

“So James’ parents… They don’t mind Padfoot?” you ask with your butterbeer in hand. 

“As long as I clean up after him,” Sirius says, which he tells himself isn’t a complete lie. 

Effie and Monty didn’t really know about the animagus forms of the teenages in their home. Any mess the boys made in their animagus forms could easily be a mess they made in their human forms. They never got too irritated with the boys as long as they helped clean up. The Potters liked animals but thought pets required too much time and energy. And James had never asked for one growing up. Sirius was certain that if James had, the Potters would have had a pet. 

“There is one thing I’d like to know,” Sirius says semi-cautiously as you work through your third butterbeer. 

“Shoot.”

“Do you think I’m attractive?”

You choke on the butterbeer you had just sipped as he asked his question. Your mug slams into the table loudly. You’re coughing. All Sirius can do is look at you concerned. 

“Excuse… me?” you manage to rasp between coughs. 

“Regulus said…” Sirius says quietly as if regretting bringing it up.

You squeeze your eyes and take a cautious sip of your drink in an attempt to soothe your burning throat. 

“You’re asking if I think…” you say after a moment. 

“If you think I’m attractive. Pretty. Handsome. Dashing. Ravishing?” 

“You’re quite forward, you know that?”

“That’s not what I asked.”

You shake your head in disbelief. Embarrassment floods your features as you realize that he might interpret that as you saying he wasn’t attractive.

“I don’t want to feed your ego,” you say quickly. Then you sigh defeatedly. “Yes, you’re attractive, Sirius. I don’t think you need me to tell you that though.”

“Oh, but it’s so nice to hear it coming from you.”

“I’m sure it is.” You pause as a deep blush covers your face. “Regulus told you?”

Sirius laughs. “Yeah. He said that you think I’m pretty and then threatened to murder me if I hurt you.”

“How nice of him to warn you.”

“Let’s be honest. He didn’t need to threaten me. It was understood when you made me get his permission.”

“I wouldn’t call it permission. He just had to think it’d be a good idea. Which I’m unsure if he actually thinks it is.”

“It’s permission,” Sirius asserts. “If he had said no, we wouldn’t be here.”

You hum. “And what a shame that would be.”

“It would be,” he says solemnly with a nod. “This has been a lot of fun. Genuinely.”

“It wasn’t as horrible as I was expecting.”

“I told you it wouldn’t be.”

You roll your eyes. “You could still ruin it.”

“Hmm, don’t think I will though. I like being right.”

“As do I.”

“You’ll just have to be wrong this time, darling.”

You raise your mug in a toast and take a drink. Sirius mirrors you. He asks you about an essay Professor Flitwick assigned earlier in the week and the conversation begins to flow into light topics again. After you finish your mugs of butterbeer, Sirius pays and you head out of the pub. He walks you back to the castle and you’re half expecting him to try to kiss you. You know his reputation. He doesn’t until you’re at the Grand Staircase and about to split ways, but it isn’t in the way you were expecting. 

“Good night, lovely,” he says before he gently presses his lips to your knuckles. “I truly had a lovely time tonight.”

Then he drops your hand and turns toward Gryffindor Tower. You’re left to stand in utter shock for a moment. Then you turn and slowly walk to the dungeons. Once back at the dungeons, you avoid all of your friends. They watch in slight confusion as you book it to your dorm rather than collapsing on the couch to complain to Regulus. You essentially go straight to bed and close the curtains around you. Your head is spinning. You hadn’t hated the date with Sirius. It was pleasant and, god forbid, fun. You couldn’t figure out if it was just friendly fun or something more though. 

Regulus’ intention of you figuring out how you felt about his brother on this date didn’t go quite as planned. If anything, you were more confused about your feelings for him than before. And you had to debate with yourself if you wanted a second date with Sirius to figure it out or if you should just tell everyone it was fine and you survived and that was it. You knew which was your gut was leaning, but you didn’t want to accept it. 

tags: @2dloveshp, @yearninglustfully, @made-for-oliverwood, @ilovejamespottersomuch, @hisparentsgallerryy, @itsseaberri, @corawithfanfiction, @devilslittlehelper, @jllyunn, @barnes70stark,

tags: @crowleythesexydemon, @flow33didontsmoke, @navs-bhat, @louweenier, @l0g0phobe,

@ellouisa17, @theendofthematerialgworl, @marina468, @bmyva1entine, @ravisinghs-wife

my brain hurts and I'm blaming the stress from visiting my parents for Christmas

[youleftmenochoicebut]

Part two of gold rush where they get their cottage in whales please 🙏🏽

PEACE — regulus black.

SUMMARY. — you and Regulus live happily ever after. that's it.

PAIRING. — regulus black x fem!pureblood!reader

WARNINGS. — fluff, kinda au cause reg doesnt get the dark mark

A/N. — i didnt plan on doing a part 2 but oh well <3 anyways! heres part 1; this is so short im sorry!!!

war is over. as much as you can't believe it, it's true. Voldemort is dead, mostly thanks to Regulus' brother and his friends' actions, and to the Order's activity. it ended weeks ago.

meanwhile, you and your husband have been hiding here for the past three years, ever since graduating Hogwart's. you've been hiding, like cowards, and unfortunately you can't feel shame or embarrassment in that regard. at least you're alive, unlike some of your friends. Evan didn't make it, which led to Barty's psychotic break. Dorcas' girlfriend, Marlene and her family didn't make it, killed by Voldemort personally this summer. Peter, who turned out to be a traitor, didn't make it either. there are a lot more loses on both sides of the war, of course, but you try not to think about it much.

it's early morning when you sit on the edge of your shared bed, reading through the letter from Lily that your owl just delivered. you take in the latest news from London, a small smile on your face. Lily's pregnant again, Sirius and Remus moved in together into Grimmauld Place, Mary's got a new cat. it all seems so mundane, after months and months of bad information, you shake your head at it.

you place the letter on your nightstand, then settle back to bed, turning around to find Regulus staring at you sleepily. your baby girl is still fast asleep in her crib by your bed.

"what's with the letter, huh?" Regulus rasps out, reaching his hand out to graze his fingers over your bare shoulder, leaving goosebumps in their wake. "is it Lily or Remus?"

"s'Lily. m'gonna write her back later after you read it." you murmur, careful to keep your voice down, and you sigh. "i have to feed Astra. can you make pancakes for breakfast?"

"sure." your husband nods, leans in to plant a quick peck on the bridge of your nose (he knows how much you despise morning breath), and gets up. as you watch him leave the bedroom you thank Merlin that he sleeps in only his boxers, and you can ogle his backside like a horny teenager as he walks away.

you roll onto your back, letting out a heavy breath, then glance at the crib just few feet from you, your four month old sucking on her dummy with her eyes already wide open.

almost forty-five minutes pass before you finally go downstairs. Astra is fed, changed and completely awake, swaddled in a baby wrap close to your chest. your steps are slow and deliberate as you make your way into the kitchen, where you are met with the sight of Regulus moving around the space, humming some tune under his breath whilst flipping pancakes. you stand in the doorway, just watching him happily before Astra betrays you with a bubbly shrieking laugh, her eyes focused on her daddy too.

"i'm almost done, ladies." your husband looks up at you, nodding you to come closer, and so you do. you lean back against the kitchen island, your hands resting under Astra's swaddled body, making sure she's held up alright. your baby keeps sending Regulus toothless smiles, cooing and babbling. she's been like this for only a few days after she hit a milestone.

you spend your days in peace like that. being a family. sometimes you go out for walks in the nearby woods, letting Astra nap in the fresh air. sometimes you sit in your garden, by the pond. sometimes you don't leave the house, lounging around all day and marvelling at the miracle your daughter was. today is one of these days. so domestic, most would deem boring. but that's what you love.

when you and Regulus go to bed that night, it's late. past midnight. you're certain Astra is starting teething, because she's been fussy ever since her afternoon nap. for now she's back asleep in her crib, although tossing and turning a bit, and you stare up at the ceiling mindlessly. you feel Regulus' hand creep over your body and resting on your hip, but you're too tired to even look at him now.

"ma chérie." he whispers, his thumb moving over your hip in soothing circles, and his other hand grips your chin lightly, turning your head in his direction. "hi."

"hi." you whisper back, nibbling on your lower lip as you stare into his grey eyes. you snuggle closer to him, your head resting on his chest and your arms wrap around his torso. "Merlin, you're always so cold."

Regulus snorts, and without looking up you know he's rolling his eyes, squeezing you in with his hands settling on your bum. you shiver at the feeling, reaching down to pull the covers over the two of you, and the moment you close your eyes a piercing wail sounds out from the crib. you practically jump out of bed, but Regulus brings you back down.

"stay. i'll go"

[marauders-bs]

the joke amongst the skittles friend group is that they're all like coke and mentos. separately, they're fine and easy to handle, but you put any of them together and you may die. allow me to explain myself

i'm... gonna put a cut here this is long af

barty and evan- barty's just a little out of it by himself, same as evan, but you put these two together and something relatively human is getting dissected and fucking killed. or they're kinky fucking somewhere they Should Not Be. they might also be in the white house.

evan and dorcas- new clothing brand out in 0.0003 seconds. also your mom is dead, sorry.

evan and dora- these two are in the walls of jkr burning shit. oh, your next door neighbor when you were ten who's been dead for six years was homophobic? she better fucking run through hell

dora and dorcas- you may not think they're crazy but there is Satanic Ritual Shit going on in the forbidden forrest and it's because they're high. no one will ever believe you :D

dorcas and regulus- you think you're safe with them. you're not. they're stealing your valuables and fucking your parents as we speak

dora and barty- she's possessed and he's high. need i say more.

evan and regulus- put these two in a room with anyone else and that person will exit crying. they will verbally rip anyone to shreds if they're in bad enough moods. a n y o n e. no one is safe.

regulus and barty- these two. oh man these two. you may think that regulus mellows barty out, no no no. if you leave these two in a room alone for too long someone will die in minnesota and they will have an alibi because they were in england, but they did it.

dorcas and barty- they will bring about the End Of All Days at some point through the experimental potions they try. they accidentally created the most dangerous potion in existence attempting to make regulus testosterone. also they're probably in the walls of parliament or backstage at a blackpink concert, wherever they are they're not doing it legally!

regulus and dora- they are genuinely worse than james and sirius. gryffindor tower blew up last time they were together, but the were never actually caught because reg was braiding dora's hair and no one could imagine the sweet duo doing anything like that

[unconventional-lawnchair]

A Second Chance pt.3 {Blurb}

Poly!Marauders+Lily x Fem!Reader - Zombie Apocalypse Au

Stick Season Noah Kahan

Masterlist

Summary: Reader has sometime with Remus, before she is sent out alone with Sirius}

Cw; Guns, death, zombies go nom nom , a lot of baby talk, cussing, minor character death, Zombie apocalypse typical violence, infants)

a/n- This is totally just filler, but next chapter is going to be very intense, so warning ahead of time

Wc-2464

Amazing People- @mooonyxoxo @sippinpeachtea @amethyistheart @zjasminelouvre3 @idonotknowenglish @le-clair-de-lune @shylahstarzz

You hadn't slept a wink. Still staring out the window with Hermione against your chest. She had fistfuls of your shirt, and you couldn't bring yourself to put her down, far too anxious of what would happen to her. Your mind wandered to the worst but just because you were terrified didn't mean the world stopped turning.

Eventually, Hemione woke up and gave her soft fussy gurgles. You stood up and tried to stay quiet. Lily had laid in the bed last night, and must have fallen asleep with Harry. They were both sleeping soundly, so you didn't want to disturb them. 

If last night had happened any other time, at any other place, with anyone else, you would have kicked them out. Send them straight back to the woods. It was cruel, but you weren't going to keep around people you didn't trust. However, they had Harry and your friends have done dumber things in the past. They seemed like truly good people, that was rare nowadays, and company of your own age wasn't entirely awful. 

Everyone was going through this for the first time. You did know one thing, however, Sirius was not to be trusted to have Hermione’s best interest at heart. 

You went about your routine, making your way to the kitchen, feeding her with what little milk you could find. You don't know much about about babies, again, you used to find them extremely annoying, but you knew that when Mrs. Granger first had Hermione, she could hardly lift her limbs.

Her husband had asked you to scavenge any nuts you could find, specifically almonds or cashews, he said it wasn't ideal but if he could use it with his water supply he could make a suitable replacement until his wife was better. It was crazy to think they were gone. Did they even think that it was a possibility? That you would be looking after their baby girl?

It was life or death in the moment, but they had made a point to involve you from day one. You hadn't been entirely close, but even if they were just a few years older than you, you looked up to them. So much resolve, tenacity, and with a bond you saw in the movies. It's crazy to think you had been traveling with them for two years, and suddenly, they were gone.

Thinking about it now, Mr. Granger made a point of teaching you what he knew, Mrs. Granger had made sure you were the first person Hermione was comfortable being held by at such a young age. For nine months you had to hear the nervous but excited soon to be dad rattle on facts about newborns that you now used day to day. Barty used to joke you were ready for your own, you could still remember the absolutely horrified look Regulus had when the thought of you as a mother came across his mind. Evan’s laughter rang in your ears as you elbowed Barty in the side for the sly comment.

Maybe they did have a feeling. They were always smarter than you.

You were snapped out of your thoughts when you heard Hermione give another gurgle, quickly you set the milk down and began to rub her back. You were distracted, again.

Using as little formula as you could with the abomination of handmade nut milk was the most sustainable option. Just three more months and it would be time to worry about getting your hands on mashed food. The stress of it all wasn't necessarily bad, you found yourself waking up every morning with someone to be awake for.

Cooing at her as you swayed around to keep her calm. You had to admit, she was a cute little thing. Even if it wasn't what you wanted, even if you lost the people dearest to you, you wouldn't go back. The idea that any other outcome would have resulted in those monsters getting their hands on her terrified you more than anything.

Those bandits, the so-called “Death Eaters” like some pathetic indie rock band name, were ruthless. They first started appearing about a year ago, they had even attempted to recruit your group. 

Some religious ramblings about the worthy and the righteous, always fell on deaf ears for you. Even then, they seemed particularly insane. Speaking of the rapture and innocence leaving the community around you. That the most dignified should step up and show why they were worthy to be on earth.

That was when, of course, you had just met the group.

You weren't as skilled as you were now, but you had been alone for months when this all started. Trial and error had your best interest at heart, until skill slowly took over. When you met them, you were not the most.. easy person.

As in you stabbed, who you later learned to be Barty, right threw the hand. To your absolute horror he called you hot for it. The damn psycho. You missed him. 

Evan wasn't far behind in thinking you were just the best thing since sliced bread. Maybe it was the change in faces around their boring camp, but you quickly went from some stranger they hunted with, to someone who would pop up at their camp. Eventually, you never left. You made friends with the people there, and being a part of a group made you feel safe since the first time it all happened.

Maybe that was another reason why you were so determined to keep these people around. You wanted nothing more than to be witnessed. 

You were once again rudely snapped from your thoughts at the feeling of being watched. You hated that feeling. You turned to look at the doorway from the hall to the kitchen and locked eyes with that Remus boy. He looked to be sweating, but trying to hide how much pain he was clearly in. He seemed startled to see you, slowly smiling and you nodded to him, turning to look out the window.

He joined you in silence, using two chairs to prop his ankle up above his heart. 

Eventually, he spoke up.

“How did you sleep?” 

“I didn't. Couldn't.” You mused and after a moment of silence you turned to see him again. His eyes were closed but he didn't seem to be dozing. “... did you sleep?”

“Couldn't.” He responded and you nodded. “The pain or your friend?”

“Both.” He mumbled and slowly opened his eyes. “He.. we'd known him since we were 11.” 

He seemed so solemn. It didn't even cross your mind they may have known each other from back before the change. You walked over and took a seat beside him, and he continued. “He was always a bit of an anxious kid, maybe he did some things I need to think twice about but.. I never would of figured him to..” 

“Yeah.” You whispered. “No one wants to think of a friend that way.”

You rolled your tongue. It was hard to hold a conversation, truly. You had been alone for a month, before that you spent two years of your life with people you mostly listened to. 

“So,” Remus began. “If you don't mind me asking, where were you when this all started?”

The question grew worn and weary with each new encounter, gradually losing its significance. It was more common than normal formalities at this point. 

It held a certain importance, though, as it let many saps share their story with another person. It was a way to ensure that, even in your absence, at least one person would know your story. That you weren't lost in this world like the thousands of others who were gone. So, when the inevitable end came, whether in the tearing grip of zombies or other perils that watched you in the tree line, someone would carry your memory until it became their turn.

It just seemed to hit you, everyone in that camp. Regulus, Barty, Evans, the Grangers. Their stories were now all that was left of them. Right.

You hoped to be so lucky to tell Hermione of the heroes her parents were. The lives they saved, including yours and her own. 

“It's a.. long story.” You sighed and he nodded. 

“Is there anything else to do?” Remus offered and you purse your lips. 

“Actually,” You looked out the window and bit your cheek. The sun was rising slowly, you didn't need to be anywhere just yet. “Short version.”

Remus leaned back against his chair and nodded before you took a deep breath.

“My dad, he worked for the military. He used to take me on these hunting trips with his coworkers. These two idiots and a pretty cool veteran.”

“Is that how you shot down that buck?”

“Learned from the best.” You nodded, smiling down at Hermione as you ran your hand soothingly down her back. “My dad and I got into this big fight.” You whispered, smile fading. “I took a hike early to get away from them all. They were being.. men.”

“Men?” Remus smirked.

“Men.” You cheeked. Remus was easy to be playful with. “On my walk, there was this guy. He looked unconscious. It was.. it was a bit jarring. Then when I called for help he got up. He was eating meat of some kind.”

You shuttered as you remembered so clearly the crazed and red faced man looking at you. Like you were his next meal. “And then my dads friend, Mr. Prewett came out of nowhere. He jumped in front of me and this guys just- well.. you can assume what happened. I went back to camp and I told my dad. He panicked and called the sheriff office.” You waved your free hand. “Useless. Eventually, there was this mass panic and people chasing each other. My dad packed up the car and told me to drive. To go home and wait for him and his friends there. He just.. never came back.”

Remus nodded along thoughtfully.

“What of you five?” You asked in kind. He fiddled with his nail. 

“We had just been sent home from boarding school. We were on a train home and suddenly it just stopped.” Refused recounted the horrified screams and the mass panic. Remembering locking their compartment and drawing the curtains. The sounds of tearing and horrified screams etched into his memory.

You winced a bit. “A train?”

“Right? I mean, who starts these things off on a train?”

Okay, that made you laugh. The cheeky bugger. “How did you make it out?”

“Lily broke a window.” 

“That.. makes sense. She seems like she has a thing or two going for her upstairs.”

“Something the other two lack.”

Okay, he was definitely charming too. A sense of humor could go a long way. A comfortable silence settled over you, before you saw how late it was getting. You began to stand and Remus winced as he shifted to look at you. 

“Where are you headed?”

“The spring further down the forest line. It's fresh water and I have an embarrassing purifier.” 

“You're taking her?” 

“...” You usually did take littler Hermione with you, you hated to be so far from the house without her. You knew it would be easier, however, to leave her behind. 

“I-”

“I'll watch her.” Remus offered gently.

Your eyes locked onto his hazels. You searched them with a determined tightness in your chest. Remus had never done anything to make you think he might hurt her. Something about the boy reminded you of safety in its purest form.

But you weren't going to just trust your gut. Not again.

“I'll set her down in the livingroom. If she cries-”

“I'll be here. I promise.” 

You slowly nodded and gave him a brief pained smile. His eyes were soft and so was his curled lips. Showing you a gentleness you only saw after you met the group. It frustrated you to no end, to not understand why your heart was clenching so painful and desperate in your chest at just a look.

You turned sharply and walked into the livingroom, past the sleeping figures to hide her away in the corner as you always did. You made a point to not look at Sirius nor James.

James seemed distraught, holding his curly strands of hair in between his fingers. Eyes bloodshot.

Seems no one slept.

“I am going out, down to the stream. It's a walk, so I'll be back by the time the sun goes down.” You informed them, it felt odd to have someone to report to again.

Walking past them, James suddenly stood up on his feet before he stumbled a bit. “Alone? You're going alone?”

Sirius came to grab his wrist and help him stay up.

You looked back at them with a quizzing look. “Yes. We need water. I figured the idea would make you happy.”

James shook his head. “No- no- water, it's- it's great.” He mumbled and stared at you. His eyes were low and filled with concern. You should have walked away, but he looked like a wounded puppy.

“Is that.. okay, James?” You whispered back. It was hard to stay too stern with him. 

“It is just.. just alone?” He pushed and you slowly crossed your arms.

“I have survived plenty long without-”

“I-I'll go with you! We can be quicker too, I'm pretty strong I-”

“James.” You cut in on his words sharply and his eyebrows pinched together with a sad look. “... yes?”

Merlin, you see why Lily was so taken with him. If the current situation was anything else-

“I will be fine alone.” You insisted before Sirius cleared his throat. 

“You?” You glared at Sirius, this time, unlike yesterday, he didn't shy away. “I'll go with you.”

“No.”

“Can't really stop me, can you?” Sirius mused and picked up James's gun. You glared at him harder and he sighed, handing it back to James. 

“No weapons.” He comprised.

“And you travel ahead of me.” You huffed, the black haired boy slowly smirked. “Darling, I don't have a clue where we're going.”

You rolled your eyes. “Just bloody- follow me then.”

Before he could make another comment you walked to the door and began to leave. James seemed to visually relax, and Sirius hurried after you.

“Don't slow me down.” You warned him, stepping into the porch. The outside was calm and serine, but there was this sinking feeling in your chest that only grew worse as you tried to catch something in the tree line. 

It felt like you were being watched. You hated that feeling.

Your thoughts were suddenly cut out of your mind when you heard Sirius.

“Wouldn't dream of it.”

[lupiinist]

barty is a great cook.

like, not only because his mum taught him how to cook (gets even better if you hc him as italian or spanish [or latino, too]), but also because his friends can't cook even if their lives depended on it

regulus is a menace in the kitchen, he once burned a kettle trying to make tea, evan is too lazy to try to learn, pandora was banned from the kitchen after making something (no one really knows what it was) that got them all sick, and dorcas can do the basic, but she likes having barty cook for her

it surprises a lot of people when they learn it that that goth, punk, edgy, slightly off guy with too many piercings and tattoos to count could be the chef of his own restaurant if he wanted to. his specialty is main dishes, he's superb with pasta and meat, but also rocks the desserts

he bonded with james over food, because james is also the cook of his group of friends (he makes the most amazing desi dishes [which i won't go into much detail because honestly it's 3 am and i can't research properly right now])

opposite to what many people think, the skittles rarely order food when they're hanging out together. barty almost always cooks. more than knowing how to, he likes to cook. it's something he shares with his mum, something his father never had any influence over (after all, he was never home during supper)

most of all, barty loves to cook for evan. evan is the type of person who tends to either get into hyperfocus and forgets to eat or has a very bad week and forgets to eat. either way, he doesn't take good care of himself. barty helps by popping up in his house, making him get up from the couch and help him in the kitchen. evan doesn't cook, but he sorts the ingredients out and occasionally chops a tomato (not onions though, he hates how they make him cry). he makes barty company, and they both have slightly better weeks just because of that

so, in the end, barty loves to cook.

[thebestofoneshots]

Gilded Constellations | (wolfstar x reader)

Series Masterlist | Previous episode

Pairing: Wolfstar x Reader Word Count: 8.2 K Warnings: none Prompt: The Marauders x Vixen parank is finally about to happen.. How will the students react to a school flooded with frogs? This IS a Wolfstar x reader fic, but it's incredibly slow burn. They won't start all dating each other until we're very deep into the story, but I promise the long wait will be worth it. Proofread by lovely @aremuslupinsimp

Chapter 62: Born to be Wild

Wednesday 12th, 1977 - 08:20 AM

“So? You think she’s too hurt?” you asked as you leaned over the Slytherin table. 

“You said she crashed on the floor and rolled a couple of times, yeah?” Solacis asked. He was the one person you knew had a lot of knowledge of owls, so you had gone to him as soon as he appeared at the door. 

“Yeah, she was trying to crash onto me, but I got out of the way.” 

“And she bit you?” 

“But that’s been taken care of,” you said reassuringly. “I’m worried about her, though. She was stunned. I don’t think James used much strength but–” 

“But she’s way smaller than a human,” Solacis nodded. Nieve was still asleep, but she stirred as Solacis extended her wing to check on her. His delicate pale hands were softly touching her feathers when Nox and Regulus arrived at the table. 

“Hey, Vix,” Nox said. He’d heard Prongs calling you that one day and it had stuck. 

Reggie said your name quietly with a nod and sat down beside you. You hadn’t had a proper talk since that day, and something told him that then wouldn’t be a good moment to do it either. “How are you?” 

“Good,” you replied with a genuine smile, he could tell. “You?” 

He smiled, although it seemed like it was hard for him to do it, “Yeah, that too.” 

Nox and Solacis were talking about the owl while you looked at him with a bit of a frown. He cleared his throat and handed you a piece of bread. You knew he was trying to divert the attention from it, he probably couldn’t talk about it there. “I’ll see you later about that homework, yeah?” 

“What homework?” Nox asked, clearly worried he’d forgotten his own.

“Reggie’s gonna help me with something,” you excused and then turned to Solacis. “Is she okay?” 

“She’ll be all right,” he reassured you. “Mix some Boswelia and Chamomile with her food, and keep an eye on her. She’ll be like new in a few days. I think she just took a bad hit, but she won’t be able to fly for a while. So if you need to take a message somewhere I suggest you use your other owl.” 

“Right, will do,” you said with a smile. “Thanks, Sol, I owe you one.” 

“You can pay back by not being so savage next time we play quidditch.” 

“Oh, no, you’d have to pick something else,” you added with a smirk and a wink. 

“Indeed, you have to practise more, Solacis, not get your opponents to go easier on you,” Dorcas said as she sat right in front of them. “Nice to see you, Luv.” 

“Same,” you smiled as you stood. “I better get to my table before I’m called a house traitor.” 

“I think you should just change your robes to green and join us.” 

“I could make room for you in my chambers,” Dorcas offered with a smirk. 

“And have to share a common room with Snivellus? No, thank you!” you joked. Dorcas cackled while the others laughed, even if a little more discreetly. Severus, who wasn’t that far off, threw you an angry look, which you noticed out of the corner of your eye. Even Barty was concealing a smile as Evan told Severus something related to their homework. You smiled and picked Nieve from their table carefully. “Thanks again,” you told Solacis with a smile and walked back to your table with the owl in your hands. 

“How did it go?” Remus asked.

“Great, I know what plants I should feed her… Mind coming with me to the herbology classroom later?” 

“Sure,” he retorted with a smile. “Perhaps after the thing.” 

“What thing?” Asked Marlene as she leaned towards you. 

“Oh, just a thing,” you retorted, making it sound as casual as possible. “Nothing to worry about.” 

“Don’t tell me you’ve gotten yourself involved in another Marauder’s prank? Last time we lost James and Sirius in the game, and we’re playing Slytherin again, we’ll need James! Regulus has been practising since you beat him to the snitch.” 

“I’d never do such a thing,” you said as you looked at Remus, complicity dancing in both gazes. “Quidditch comes first, pranks come later,” you added resolutely.  

“Aye!” James said as he took a bite from his toast. Lily, who was sitting beside him, rolled her eyes and handed him a napkin since he’d gotten crumbs all over his face. 

Breakfast came and went without much more eventualities. Peter didn’t wake up in time but you saved some food for him and handed it over when he caught up with you on your way to charms after you went back to your room to leave Nieve in a small heap of pillows. 

“Thanks, Vixen,” he said as he took out the sandwich from its napkin. “And it’s roast beef with brown sauce!” He said after he gave it a bite. “Brilliant!” 

“No problem,” you said with a simple shrug. 

By the time you arrived at your classroom, the five of you were beaming with the excitement of the imminent prank. Peter had gobbled the last half of his sandwich just before walking inside the classroom. 

“That can’t be good for your health mate,” James said with a frown as he pointed at Peter.

The latter cleared his throat before retorting “Shut up, Prongs!”

“Just looking out for you,” James said as he raised his hands in surrender. “I think you’re going back to nervous eating. You know your mum told me that–” 

“James!” he complained now, motioning to the fact that there were plenty of people around. James didn’t know why it was such an issue for Peter to talk about it but didn’t press further. Peter, on the other hand, hated the idea of talking about his food issues in front of people, especially in front of Sirius and Remus who seemed to be so fit without putting any effort into it –according to him.  Sirius literally did quidditch every morning with you and James. And while Remus didn’t do anything special, he did do a freaking intense amount of exercise whenever he was a wolf, not to mention he often took walks around the school when he wanted to be alone. 

“Sorry, sorry,” James retorted. “We’ll talk about it later.” 

Peter tried not to roll his eyes as he rushed inside the classroom. 

Professor Flitwick was already inside the classroom, standing at his little podium like he often would during classes, you smiled and nodded his way as you walked inside along with the boys. As you were walking to sit next to Remus (as you usually did on Charms), Lily pulled you from her spot near the front and had you sit beside her. 

“You’re not going anywhere,” she told you as you fell onto the chair. Remus threw you a questioning look and you shrugged in response. When Sirius realised Remus wouldn’t be sitting with you, he went straight to take your normal spot and sent you a daring sort of gaze, as if to show off the fact that he was sitting next to Rem instead of you. 

“Are you even listening to me?” Lily asked as she shook you by the shoulder.

“Yes, sorry,” you replied as you turned to her, “you said we had to hand in an essay today but you totally forgot about it.” 

“And you forgot it too, you dumbass, I’ve checked your notes,” she said as she pointed at the pile of papers you had now left on the table, including a few scrolls and a notebook, the essay was nowhere in sight. 

“I didn’t forget,” you said with a smile. 

“Well it’s not here either,” she said as she moved your papers around again. 

“No, I just didn’t do it.” 

“You what?” she asked in shock. You had been in study club since the start, and you had always handed in your homework on time. In fact, she thought you were as dedicated as her, if perhaps a little more relaxed. 

You smirked. “You really shouldn’t worry so much. For one, I’m sure Flitwick would forgive and forget if one of his favourite students forgot to bring their homework. Two, I have the feeling everyone’s gonna forget about the homework in a few minutes.” 

“Oh no, the toads,” she whispered, the grip on her wand tightened. “You know, I blame you for forgetting it, I spent all of last night looking up spells in case of an emergency.” 

“Oh, that’s so not on me,” you retorted with a smile. 

“Welcome, welcome,” Flitwick said, voice slightly louder than it had been previously. “I hope you all had an excellent Christmas break…” 

You tried not to think too much of your Christmas break, although there had definitely been some a few –although very few– things that you would have considered excellent from the tumultuous time the past few weeks had been for you. 

“… today we’re going to be looking at complex charms combinations. Does anybody know what charm combining consists of?” 

Lily and Remus raised their hands. You would have raised yours as well but decided to let either of them answer instead. 

“Miss Evans,” Flitwick said as he pointed at her with his wand. 

“Combining spells consists of taking the main properties of two or more spells and weaving them together to create a new spell that either does both things or something slightly different.” 

“And what’s a good example?” 

Lily frowned and licked her lips as she thought of an answer, and then she smiled. “Lumus Solem,” she said. “It combined the brightness of Lumus with the heat and rays of the sun. If done without care it can be extremely dangerous due to radiation.” 

Flitwick smiled, seemingly satisfied at her answer. “Precisely–” he started but got interrupted by a boy who raised her hand and spoke before being indicated. 

“Can Lumus really be dangerous?” he asked. 

“Certain variations of the spell definitely can. A potent enough Lumos could blind you either temporarily or permanently. Lumos Solem, has been used as a torture device in the past as well. Long exposure has been known not only to cause severe dehydration but even grade 3 sunburns–” 

Flitwick was interrupted yet again, this time by a girl’s shriek You turned to the source of the scream with the most surprised face you could pull off. 

“What’s with this fuss?” he asked in a rather stern tone. Flitwick didn’t get angry very often, but he’d gotten interrupted twice already and he really didn’t appreciate being interrupted.

“Toads, Professor,” replied the same boy from before. 

“Excuse me?” 

“There are many of them,” added another girl who was moving her feet out of the way. The students in the back had were already getting on their seats. 

“Please sit down,” the small professor said as he shook his head in exasperation. From his position, he couldn’t quite see the tsunami of toads that was about to reach him. Besides, he quite liked toads, after all, he was planning to reopen the Frog Choir that had been lost after 1959 when Professor Marcus Bonnknott passed away. 

Filius had only heard them play a few times during his first and second years in Hogwarts, and he was very upset when the choir died along with Marcus, who he thought was fascinating. It was in fact, because of said professor that he had gotten himself into music after graduating and before being offered the Charms Teacher position by Dombuldore in the early 70s. 

But neither of the students seemed to listen, which obviously exasperated him and forced him to walk down from his podium only to see a small toad jumping his way. He leaned down and picked it up carefully. “Is this little guy the one causing you to leave your seats so hastily?” 

“No, Professor,” said Imgoen as she shook her head. “It’s the amount of them.” 

By then both you and Lily had gotten over your seats and were currently sitting on the table. What could only be described as a herd of toads was approaching the front of the room. The stone floor of the classroom turned green and brown as the toads jumped around, trying to find some space within the now swampy water running from the end of the classroom. 

Lily threw you a look and you just shrugged as you straightened up and looked at the mess you’d created along with the boys. 

“Oh Dear, quite a catastrophe, I see,” said Flitwick as he took his wand out and waved it in the air. With a swish and a flick, about a hundred toads were lifted from the ground and started floating above everyone.

“Ugh… that’s gross,” said a Hufflepuff boy as he nudged one of the toads further from his face using his wand. 

“Please refrain from touching the animals,” Flitwick said as he threw the boy a stern look. 

Another girl had picked a salt shaker from her bag and was diligently throwing it around her. 

“What do you think you’re doing, Miss Griffith?” 

“Salt will make them squirm, I’m keeping them away from me,” she said urgently as she continued, even if none of the frogs seemed to mind. 

“That’s with slugs, you dumbass,” retorted Tom with a cackle. He’d been sitting next to her because after Lily pulled you to sit beside her, the normal sit arrangement had been skewed and his place –next to Beth– had been taken by Marlene. 

“Shut up,” the girl said as she continued throwing salt. 

Peter was laughing as he stared until a toad got on his feet and he shook it off with a short scream as he also got on top of the table.

James, Sirius and Remus were definitely enjoying the absolute chaos as they all stood at their desks, they didn’t even bother to sit on them and looked riddicolously tall in comparison to Flitwick which just made the whole scene all the more amusing.

“Please, calm down,” Flitwick said, as he managed to lift a few more toads into the air. All of them with their small legs extended and looking as confused as you’d imagine a flying toad would. And then another swamp bomb fell to the floor, the water level increased and tons of toads started appearing. “Goodness,” he said as another bomb fell from the other side of the classroom. 

Lily had her wand up in the air as she stared at the toads with a “ready to attack” sort of gaze and you suppressed a smile as some other students were already using protection spells around themselves and keeping them up as the toads walked past the feet of the chairs and table. 

“All right, perhaps we should exit the classroom instead,” he said as he tried to lift some of the toads that had just appeared along with the others. “Please form a careful line and–” 

It was useless, the moment he said they could leave, most students bolted towards the exit like runaway horses, pushing each other while trying to keep themselves as far away as possible from the toads, which was pretty much impossible, since they were all over the floor, not to mention everyone’s pants and socks were now pretty wet with murky water. 

Lily sighed and took out her wand. “Bufonem repelleare,” she said and waved her wand around her shoes, as she placed her feet on the murky water, the toads seemed to form a circle around her, as if avoiding her entirely. 

Beth gasped as she pointed at her, “Lily, come and save me!” She said as she pointed at her feet, which got some other students staring quite impressed at her. 

“Masterful use of spell combination, Miss Evans,” said Flitwick as he pointed at her and continued to move the toads as far away from the students as it was possible for him to do. 

“You’re coming?” Lily asked as she offered you her hand.

“Don’t worry, I’ve got an escape my plan for myself prepared,” you told her with a wink, and as she walked towards Beth you finally got on the table. Your seat was rather close to the windows, and the door was on the other side, which meant you had quite a walk to make before exiting the toadtrap you had created; but you weren’t looking forward to getting your feet wet, let alone your socks, which Lily had taken in as a necessary evil. 

You stood on the chair and then on your table, and from there, you jumped to the table in front of it, the students there were already outside of the classroom, and then you jumped towards the table next to it. The boys, upon seeing what you did, were now imitating you. And they were much faster since they had longer legs. 

By the time you got to the third row of seats, Remus was standing on the desk right in front of yours and Sirius was right next to it. You raised your eyebrows at the boy in front of you and he smiled, placing one hand behind his back and extending the other towards you, “Allow me, my lady,” he said in the noblest of tones. 

You chuckled under your breath as you diverted your gaze to hide the smile you just couldn’t keep away from your lips at this point. He really had read an excessive amount of romance books. 

“Kind Sir,” you said as you took his hand, not because you needed his hand to cross to the other side, but because you wanted to hold his hand. It was a simple gesture and helped you stand right next to him. 

“Oh Moony, you’ll make me jealous,” Sirius teased. “How come she’s getting preferential treatment?” 

It was the smirk on Sirius’ lips that told the both of you that he was just teasing. “It’s all right Puppy, I’ll help you to the other side.” You extended your hand towards him and he used it to jump onto the same table in which the two of you were standing. Now the three of you were stupidly close to each other, not that either of you cared. 

There was a short exchange of glances between the three before Moony jumped to the next table and you followed shortly afterwards. But by the time you extended your hand for Sirius, you felt the table tremble underneath you, even if it was just for a second. You looked around, the feet to try and spot if there was something that was causing it, perhaps a toad that got stuck or something of the sort, but there seemed to be nothing happening down there. Sirius took your hand and jumped towards the two of you, but the second he landed next to you one of the legs gave out, and the three of you plummeted to the floor.

While the toads managed to escape being crushed by any of you three, you did not get away without being completely soaked in the swampy water.  

You groaned, the water hadn’t done much to cushion the fall, and you and Sirius had been the ones to cushion most of it for Remus. 

“Should have come with me,” Lily said as she shook her head and walked towards the door. While you were sore, you still had enough energy to lean your head towards her and pull out your tongue. She shook her head, clearly amused. “Suit yourself.” 

You huffed and then let yourself rest back in the water. What does it matter at this point, it’s already soaked, you thought. A toad jumped closer to you and Sirius scared it away before it reached your fave.

“Sorry,” Remus muttered as he tried to get up since he’d fallen on top of both of you but his hand slipped and he ended up falling over the two again. 

Sirius groaned and you let out a low “uff!”

“Sorry again,” Remus said hurriedly, trying not to think too much of how nice it felt to be that close to you, given the conditions around.  Those being the fact that half of your heads were submerged in murky water and that the frogs now seemed to want to approach you.

“It’s all right, try slower this time,” you told him, offering your hand for some stability, when he finally got up from the floor he realised that most students –and the teacher– had already found a way out of the mess. Once he was up, he helped the both of you stand. 

“They left us?” Sirius asked with a gasp. “We fell, and they left us!” 

“Vixen stuck her tongue out at Lily,” Remus pointed out. “She would have probably waited.” 

“Never mind Evans, It’s Prongs that offends me,” he added with a huff that made you chuckle. 

What neither of you knew was that he had made that table fall and that he had left the three of you at your own luck in retaliation for the bomb that he had left in his pocket and that you had knowingly not warned him about.  But he also thought the three of you could benefit from some time alone, so he was both, taking his revenge, and playing cupid. 

You leaned your arm up towards you, smelled the sleeve of your sweater, and made a slightly disgusted face. “We stink now,” you said as you pulled it as far away from your face as possible. “How about you throw some relashio my way?” 

Remus extended his wand towards you but Sirius was quicker and stopped him, “I’ve got a way better idea than that.” 

“Sirius we’re not swimming on the black lake, I know you’ve wanted to do that all year, but it’s literally snowing out there, it’s a terrible idea.”

“Not that!” Sirius said as he shoved Remus. “It’s a great idea, I promise,” he added with his signature smirk and stepped forward, taking the lead. “Follow me, pretty things.” 

“Did he just–” Remus said as he pointed at Sirius and turned to you.

“Yup,” you said with a nod. “You better get used to it,” you added before nodding your head to the side, inviting him to follow behind Sirius who was already near the door. At least the toads were kind enough to jump out of the way as you walked towards it. 

The hall wasn’t much better either, some classrooms were still figuring their way out and their doors were crammed with people trying to leave, the stone was coated in a rather thin layer of water that only got more and more filled by the minute and everyone was trying to find somewhere safe. 

“What is going on?” Someone shouted, tone laced with desperation as he had to turn to the side when he spotted another tramp of toads coming from the hallway he intended to take. 

While in the world, “all roads lead to Rome” in Hogwarts, “all roads lead to the Great Hall” and you were counting on that to get most students in there, all for the sake of ending the prank with a cherry on top. But some students were already using their brooms and the windows to get out of the buildings and that would ruin the plan. 

“Your idea’ll have to wait,” you told Sirius as you stepped forward. Thankfully just the right person was in sight. “Alex!” You said. “Alex Wood!” 

The Hufflepuff head boy, who was riding his broom flew towards you, “Yeah?” 

“They said we should go to the Great Hall,” you said. “That’s where all the students are going.” 

It was luck, and perhaps your good student reputation, that made Alex nod almost instantly. “I’ll spread the word, thanks!” he added and took off, shouting to everyone on his way to walk towards the Great Hall.

You smiled as you saw him leave towards one side of the hall and you turned to the other, “We have to go to the Great Hall!” you shouted towards everyone and none in particular, “spread the word!” 

The three of you continued walking towards the new direction and kept telling people they had to go, and since people recognized Remus as a Prefect, it was much easier to get them to follow the direction. By the time you reached the Great Hall, there were already other prefects helping everyone walk inside in a much more ordered manner than when they had left their classrooms. Students were walking towards their seats at the table, and the older students were using Lily’s spell to keep the frogs away from the door as everyone tried to walk inside. 

You smiled, looking quite satisfied at the result of your little ruse, and also got in line, but this time Sirius pulled you out of the way. “Follow me, I know a better spot to enjoy the show,” he said with a smile. Remus probably already knew of said spot since he walked next to Sirius as if he too knew the way.

You followed the two of them down a set of stairs –spotting the kitchen entrance– and then a little further inside, where there was a rather large statue of a dragon who moved as if he were breathing. Sirius got up on the small pedestal where the dragon lay and Remus was behind him shortly after, yet again extending his hand for you to follow. You took his hand at once and he pulled you up with ease, not letting go of it even as you were fully there and giving you a reassuring squeeze as Sirius got even closer to the dragon. He crouched and walked inside the crevice left between the tail of the dragon and his head. 

This time around you followed right after him and Remus was close behind. The statue wasn’t really designed to be walked behind, or at least it hadn’t been placed to be walked around, and therefore the spot behind it was slightly darker and a bit colder than the rest of the castle, as if the heating spells didn’t quite reach that spot. 

Then Sirius walked towards a torch holder and pulled on it, a small passage opened underneath the spot where the dragon lay. You smiled and walked down the set of stairs alongside both boys. It was a small room, perhaps something like a broom closet, or a secret hideout for a treasure, but there was nothing inside other than a window that looked remarkably similar to the ones in the great hall but much smaller. 

Sirius approached the window and fumbled with the latch for a few seconds before he managed to flip it open. The bitter cold flew in alongside a few snowflakes and Sirius climbed outside. Remus followed, sitting by the seal, his feet propped to the outside. But just before he jumped he turned to look at you.

You were looking at him from your spot, seeming somewhat hesitant of stepping out. He was about to speak, but Sirius beat him to it, pushing his head under Remus’ arm and leaning it near his ribs with a teasing grin. “You’re not scared, are you, Starshine?” 

“Of course not!” you retorted. “ Just waiting for you boys to open up some space.” Sirius laughed while Remus jumped outside, you got on the seal seconds after. 

Sirius smirked as he turned to Remus, who was wiping some snow from the back of his pants and shaking his head in disapproval, although he was still smiling. Once the three of you were outside, with the bitter cold making your wet clothes all the more uncomfortable, you figured out exactly where you’d be enjoying the spectacle from. 

“You have to be kidding,” you said as you spotted the large windows of the great hall over a few feet of rock.  “Is that where you were on the first day of the year?” you asked as you pointed towards some of the windows.

Sirius nodded in return, “Pretty cool, yeah?” 

“You’re all deranged!” you retorted with an amused smile and walked through the snow and towards one of the windows. The end of the cliff wasn’t so stiff that it would be easy to fall, but if anyone did fall, then it would be nasty.

“Not more than you, Luv,” retorted Remus who was behind you in seconds. 

Sirius had a small, rather proud smirk on his lips as he watched the two of you speed towards the window. “Watch your step, it can be slippery,” he warned. 

“Who's the scared one now?” you asked as you turned to him with a teasing smirk, your hair flowing behind you while some bits of snow from the side of the rocks fell over it.

Once you reached the spot under the window you looked up. It was rather tall. At least a few feet above your head. Sure Sirius and Remus could reach the top by extending their hands, but your fingers barely reached the edge. Narutally, you started jumping to try and get your hands on the seal. Remus caught up with you a few seconds later. “Thought you were a fox, not a rabbit.” 

You huffed, narrowing his eyes at him and turning back to the rocks. There was snow covering them, and you didn’t have your gloves around. Didn’t matter though, you tried to get a hold of one of the rocky edges to climb your way up, but they were stupidly slippery and you ended up slipping towards Sirius who caught you with ease and looked down on your pouty face with a wide smile. 

“Are you done trying to do it by yourself?” he asked. You gave him a mouth twist in return. “Nous sommes une équipe, Starshine, don’t be afraid to ask for help.” He pressed a kiss to your forehead and pushed you to stand straight again. 

You grumbled something intelligible as Sirius climbed his way up using a rather specific rock that they had charmed and that was slightly worn out as support, and once he was up he extended his hand while Remus linked both of his and extended them for you to use as a step on the way up. You hesitated, turning your gaze to the side before placing your foot between Rem’s hands, who pushed upwards and allowed you to reach Sirius’. 

Once your elbows were on the bitter-cold stone of the seal, you managed to push yourself up the rest of the way. Rem used the same rock Sirius had to climb  and in between you and Sirius pulled him the rest of the way up. Not that he needed the help, he would have done fine without it, but neither you nor Sirius would waste a chance to hold him close.

“Shouldn’t we use a disillusionment charm?” you asked as you leaned over the windows to see what was inside. “Shit it’s cold,” you added as you shivered. You’d taken your cloak off at the little room under the dragon but your pants and thick sweater were still pretty wet.

“Nah, they can’t see us,” Sirius said as Remus stood closer to you. He was the least wet of the three, coincidentally, his body heat was always warmer due to his furry little problem. “There are special charms on the windows so that the weather outside matches the one in the enchanted ceiling,” he waved through the window, “we’re virtually invisible.” 

“Neat,” you said as you leaned your head on the window again, most students were now taking their seats. Professor McGonagall was helping some of the students accommodate their tables. Spellman was making sure all the Ravenclaws were all right alongside Flitwick who had been a Ravenclaw when he was a student, and Seraphina was making the Hufflepuffs do the same while forcing them into a neat line and counting through them. 

“Where’s Dumbledore?” you asked with a frown. 

“He is overseeing some plans with the order,” Sirius said. “Moody visited the Potters when we were about to leave for Kingscross. He said there was some urgent ‘Order’ business they had to oversee.” 

“Order? Do you mean The Order of the Phoenix?” 

“The what?” 

“Ugh… never mind I’ll tell you about it later,” you said as you shrugged it off and pointed towards the Great Hall. Slughorn had walked towards the podium and seemed about ready to say something. “I think it’s about to happen,” you said. 

Remus looked at you with a frown, still wondering what that was about before he too turned to look at the window. Slughorn seemed to be calming the students down, by giving some sort of speech. And then a screech so loud, that even the three of you heard, broke through his words. 

“Oh, it is happening,” Sirius said, as he too stepped a little closer. Both boys were now practically glued to you and the window, which was at least helping the cold subdue, even if you still felt like the bottom of your clothes, where gravity had accumulated the water, was slowly freezing as well. Not to mention your back felt a little more cold than it should have. But then again, what was a little cold? You’d had much, much worse. 

The girl jumped backwards as she screamed and fell on the floor as a bunch of toads started appearing from under her table. You saw Lily’s mane look around and fixate her gaze on James, she was clearly expecting the classroom and the rest of the hallway mess to be the end of it.

You chuckled as the toads from her table avoided her and jumped in all sorts of directions and towards the rest of the people. The funniest part was, that the toads were also shunning the entrance because they had used the toad-repelling charm all over it, so the more swamp bombs that exploded, the more frogs without anywhere else to go appeared.

McGonagall pressed her wand to her throat before speaking, loud, clear and in that same tone she used in class that was equally unwinding and terrifying. “Prefects, have your houses form a neat line and walk towards the courtyard. I believe it’s the only spot in the entire school not infested by toads at the present moment.” 

You chuckled, and it wasn’t only after your laughter subdued that you noticed that were not only shivering because of the laughs, but also because of the cold. You sneezed.

“Bless you,” Said Remus almost automatically, and then pressed his hands to your face. “You’re freezing! Why didn’t you say anything?” 

“I said it was cold!” you argued with a shrug and then crossed your arms over yourself. 

“But you said it as a casual comment, not as ‘I’m freezing, let’s use a warming spell’ kind of way,” Sirius retorted.

You hummed in response. “Next time, I’ll make sure to sound extra dramatic when complaining about the cold,” you said sarcastically.

“Yeah, you better,” Sirius said as he jumped down from the little window bannister and nodded for you to do the same. 

It was slightly awkward as you got down, but Sirius was there as you landed and he gave you a thumbs up as you wiped some of the snow that had gotten stuck in front of your trousers. Remus was down shortly after and the three of you walked inside the little room. 

Sirius closed the window as soon as you were inside while Remus started with a simple warming spell. He leaned close to you, his wand slowly spreading heat on your back, causing the already-frozen bits of clothes to melt. 

“Wait, it’s too hot,” you said, taking your sweater off almost in a second. You had a simple turtle neck shirt underneath, and while it wasn’t freezing anymore, it was still pretty wet. 

“I mean you can continue taking your clothes off here, or we can go to that place I’ve been telling you about,” Sirius said with a smirk and both of you turned to him with a frown. 

“Where exactly do you want us to go?” Remus asked.

“You’ll see when I take you,” he retorted as he tilted his head. “I think by now most students will be in the courtyard, what do you say?” 

Remus swallowed, “Are you sure that’s a good idea?” 

“All my ideas are great,” he retorted, “Right, Starshine?”

“Some have certainly been,” you retorted. “Besides at this point, anything that gets me off this stinkyness is good.” 

Sirius’ smile widened and he gave you a wink before climbing up the stairs and both you and Remus followed closely behind him. 

It had been a few minutes of you scurrying around the castle while trying to avoid being seen by any lost student, and the toads that were now all over the halls, jumping around freely. 

Remus, who finally recognized the way you were taking gasped, “Sirius are we going to the–”

“Yes, don’t spoil it.” 

Sirius had purposefully taken a tricky way there so neither of you realized where it was you were heading but Remus had figured it out anyway. You had a vague idea of where that might be but you weren’t sure, and you had never been there either, so even if it was where you thought it would be it was still a surprise. 

You looked over a corner you were about to cross and instantly pulled back, grabbing onto Sirius’ shirt to stop him from stepping any further. You placed your hand over your lips and nodded. He looked at you with a frown, and you pointed at the corner. 

Sr. Pendragon’s ghost was there, up in his horse and patrolling like the hallway was his own, even when his horse seemed to be much more entertained by the toads. He was comically jumping around while trying to avoid them (it didn’t seem to matter that being a ghost, he couldn’t touch them).

Sirius nodded as soon as he spotted him and took out his wand, but Moony beat the both of you by sending a spell towards one of the portraits on the other side of the hallway. The old man in the portrait started shouting silly complaints and screaming something about the toads attacking him. 

“To the rescue!” Said Sir. Pendragon as he pulled on his horse’s reins to force him to move. Said horse was not cooperating, and it was while he was distracted by them that you cast a disillusionment charm over the three of you and continued to follow Sirius through the halls. 

Skipping through the toads was much harder with the disillusionment charm because they wouldn’t immediately jump out of the way as they spotted you, but it wasn’t impossible. They seemed to have a sort of sixth sense to not be squashed, even if it took a little longer for it to kick off than sight. 

It was when you spotted the large frog in the corner of Ricchie’s “make-out room” that you figured out where Sirius was taking you as well. “How are you planning to get in?” You whispered as you pointed towards the door.

“Easy, we have our own Perfect, he knows the passwords,” Sirius said with a smirk. 

Remus tried not to roll his eyes as the three of you approached the doors, he cleared his throat before leaning into one of the corners of the door. “Whispering Woods,” he said, low so nobody beside you would hear, and the doors split open right in front of the three of you.

You didn’t waste time before walking inside, since you didn’t want to risk anyone noticing the three of you were sneaking into the “only prefects” bathroom, even with the disillusionment charm. You were still looking at the hall as you rushed to the door to shut right ahead of you. Some magic doors were faster if you gave them a little push, which was always a good trick when you were sneaking around. 

Once you made sure they were shut you sighed and turned around, only to gasp in shock. It’s not that you hadn’t heard about the Prefect’s Bathroom being grand and elegant, but you were expecting spacious shower stands and perhaps even a nice toilet, not a bathtub the size of a pool.

“I know, right?” Sirius said with a smile and started walking towards the tub, flicking his wand to dissolve the disillusionment charm and opening the faucet in the side. Colourful water started streaming out of the centre, filling the pool with bubbly water. A stained glass mermaid was combing her hair just behind the tub, and she had a sort of mischievous smile going on as she spotted Sirius. 

“I’m going to start thinking you have a water kink or something,” you joked as you followed him, your eyes getting lost on the mermaid before turning back to him. She didn’t look exactly like the mermaids at Lupin’s Cottage, which made you think she probably was from a different species. 

Her nose was slightly longer, and she was looking at the three of you in a sweet, and yet sort of like ‘I’d want to eat you’ glance. 

“Don’t worry about her, she can’t even talk,” Remus when he noticed your staring. 

“Yeah?” you asked with a frown. “Why?” 

“Mermaid portraits can be very temperamental, that’s why wizards rarely use the special brushes that make them talk,” Sirius explained as he threw a wink her way. You’d swear she blushed after that.

“Did you ever read ‘Siren’?” Remus asked, and you shook your head in response. “It’s about an artist that really wanted to paint a mermaid,” he explained. “And he did it, exceptionally well, so well that the portrait even had some of those enchanting abilities mermaids have. He talked to her every single day, she convinced him to put her in the bathroom since she would feel closer to home, and he would see her every single time he bathed.” 

“Yeah?” Sirius asked with a smile as he continued to play with the faucets. Now there was a small fish statue blowing soap bubbles all over the place. “Sounds awkward…” 

“It was,” Remus confirmed. “But she was clever and knew how to make him feel at ease. More time passed and they grew used to each other, until that wasn’t enough for her either, she ended up convincing him to drown in his tub so he could be with her.” 

“Damn,” you said as you looked back up at the mermaid. She was still giving you that same curious look. “I can definitely see it happening, though…” 

“A man falling for the portrait of a beautiful mermaid?” Sirius asked, clearly amused.

“A portrait being more powerful than they originally thought,” you said, not keeping your eyes away from the stained glass window. “Enchanted items can be as delightful as deceitful. There are plenty of stories of wizards who’ve gone mad over a portrait.” 

“I think the water is ready,” Sirius said as he dipped his hand in the marbled pool.

“Yeah?” You asked as you leaned closer to it, leaning over and also digging your hand in the water. 

“Mhm,” he nodded and then turned to Remus with a sort of mischievous look in his eyes. The way they shone told Remus enough about his plan for him to know what a terrific idea it was. “Pourquoi ne l’essaies-tu pas, Étoile?” 

You didn’t even have enough time to turn around and ask what he was going on about when he picked you up from the floor and threw you into the water, the splashing from your fall was enough to leave the two of them wet and filled with bubbles. 

By the time you resurfaced –not that it was very deep– both boys were shaking with laughter, their voices echoing through the bathroom in such a compelling way that you couldn’t even stay mad at them for it. That didn’t mean you wouldn’t retaliate. You looked at them both with a sort of saddened pout that had Remus lose his laughter as fast as he’d found it.

“I think I sprained my hand as I fell,” you said as you took your hand out of the water, “It’s swelling and all…” 

“What? That fast?” Remus said as he approached you. 

Sirius seemed concerned at first, at least until he saw the faintest shadow of a smirk as Remus approached the edge of the tub. You threw him a look, simple, almost too fast, but he instantly knew what he had to do. 

“Perhaps it’s because it’s the hand I sprained at the Leaky Cauldron…” you added and extended it towards him. He was now so close, half of his body was over the water. He had your hand in his, yours was limp and his were careful, feather-like touches to make sure he wouldn’t hurt you further. He moved it to one side and then to the other, carefully. 

“Does it hurt?” 

“Slightly,” you retorted. It wasn’t a lie, your hand was still kind of sore. Perhaps it had been a worse hit than you thought originally.

Remus shrugged, “It doesn’t look all that swollen to me, Little Witch, but it could get worse. Perhaps we should call it and go to Pomfrey instead–” 

“You don’t see it?” You asked nonchalantly and threw a look at Sirius. Remus was about to respond, “Maybe if you look closer,” you added before pulling your other hand out of the water and gripping onto his arms as firmly as you could, pulling him towards you. 

Alone, you wouldn’t have done shit to move him unless he had been genuinely distracted, but with Sirius’ help, who threw him off balance with a light kick on the back of his knee and a push, it was as easy as it had been for Sirius to lift you up and throw you into the pool. When Remus resurfaced from the water he was so shocked that he’d been manhandled that he ended up being more confused than anything. 

“How the– you didn’t even hurt your hand, did you?” 

“It’s still sore, but no,” you said with a shrug and a smile. You then stepped a little closer, you’d never seen Remus’ hair wet, at least not fully wet, only fluffed out of the shower, it was way longer than you assumed, it reached almost all the way to his nose. You swam closer to him in an instant and pushed it off his face. It’s something perhaps you would have done even back when you were just friends –you had always been that close to him– but it was because you weren’t just friends anymore that he felt his heart hammer on his chest as you approached. He could kiss you if he wanted to, would you want it to? 

And then you gave him a look. He knew that look so well. You placed both hands on his neck after you stopped playing with his hair and then you raised your eyebrows. He gave you the basic “Are you sure?” Remus Lupin look. You just raised your eyebrows again in return. 

“Hey, Pups,” you said casually, “do you mind passing me my wand? I think I dropped it when you threw me into the water…” That last bit was slightly accusatory, to add up to that guilt and have him lose some of the weariness. 

Sirius picked your wand from the floor and squinted his eyes at you as if deciding just how close he could get without getting pulled into the water by his favourite little fae, although you looked more like a tempting siren than a sprite in that particular moment. 

“What?” You asked with a simple smile. 

“You’re not going to pull me into the water, are you?” 

“Of course not, I just need my wand,” you said with a smile, gently squeezing Remus’ wrist from under the water. 

“What for?” 

“Girl stuff,” you retorted. 

“You can’t just say girl stuff whenever you want to avoid my questions.” 

“But what if it really is girl stuff?” Remus intervened as he eyed Sirius. 

“I won’t throw you into the water, swear,” you added, hands held up in surrender. “Just hand me my wand, you can stay out and watch while Remus and I make out or whatever.” 

“What?!” Sirius asked confused, amused, and a little too keen on the idea, which was ridiculous. But damn, didn’t the both of you look stunning when you were kissing each other? 

“What?” you said as you approached. “Come on, hand it over,” you said as you opened your mouth for him to place your wand in between your lips. Sirius was hesitant as he approached you, but eventually, he was close enough. And when he did, Remus, who had been casually leaning his back on the side stood up and pulled him into the water as you moved out of the way.

Series Masterlist | Next Chapter

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Read more Marauders Fiction

[tiredofthehumanlife]

EvansFavMasochist

Barbie dolls: rosekiller x reader

Word: 1.8k

Summary: modern fame au you and Evan are famous acting professionals and Barty runs an edit fanpage of you 2

Warnings: you ride Barty but no genitals mentioned, mentions of bondage blood choking cocaine degradation praise, mentioned that Evan sucks Bartys dick and also mentioned that you sucked Evans dick, Barty posts parts of your sex tapes with your permission, i'm going to lose it dude, a bad username for Barty listen I could only come up with tiredofthehumanlife and that was in sixth grade what more do you expect of me, you used pet names

Acting was a strange profession to explain. ‘I play pretend for money and millions of people know my face.’ If the person didn’t already know what you did or who you were you just said you did accounting. Evan did the same, he said he was a mortician instead. Evan Rosier was your coworker at the moment, and also your boyfriend but that was not public knowledge. Neither was your shared boyfriend, Barty. You and Evan were currently working on a pretty popular show. Popularity caused more paparazzi. You and Evan had to sneak around a little more, frowning at each other and keeping your distance in public.

In the show you were working on, your characters hated each other. They constantly got into fights and glared at each other. They had to see each other frequently due to the shenanigans in the plot. The fanbase wanted to see your characters kiss. Bad. Edits, fanfics, and tweets begging for you two to just shut up and make out already were some of the most popular things in the fandom. It puts both of you in the spotlight. It caused more edits of you in interviews to go viral, theorizing about the obvious tension between the two of you. Try as you might you couldn’t hide your attraction for your gorgeous boyfriend(s). It gave the show free publicity. Which is why your bosses told you to keep the act up.

Within the fandom, there was a particular editor that was extremely popular. If you knew the show then you probably knew EvansFavMasochist. EvansFavMasochist was most popular because he somehow managed to get clips and photos of you and Evan that the fans have never seen before, and he was a fabulous editor. None of his millions of followers understood how he could find these pictures and videos, they were never posted on your or Evan's socials. You knew. He was your boyfriend. Barty loved editing, he spent most of his time on his phone tapping away. He also loved the confusion he caused. Fans asked how and where he found these pictures. He always answered with a joke. It made him giggle when people would make videos or comments theorizing how he got them.

“I hate filming late, like eating staight rusted nails,” Evan muttered, flopping into his seat and letting Makeup do retouches. Barty sighed next to him, in his hournary guest chair.

“Tell me about it,” Barty grunted. Evan shoved Barty’s shoulder. You sat in your chair next to Evan’s letting your own makeup artist fix the parts that got messed up in the process of filming. Evan intertwined his fingers with yours as Barty left without a word. Eventually, the makeup artists backed up letting you both take a small moment of meditation. Barty returned with two bottles of water, handing one out to each of you.

“You’re a blessing, B.” You sighed, chugging it. Evan did simaily. You both closed your bottles, handing them to Barty. You lightly pecked Evan as the director called places. You moved back to your taped starting place. Hours passed before the director finally yelled that you were done. You let yourself relax as you got out of your costume as fast as possible and into your comfy clothes. You were skittering over to Evan’s trailer in a few minutes. Barty straightened up when he saw you. You smiled at him, greeting him with a kiss. He had his hoodie pulled up and, a highly decorated jean vest pulled over it. He had spikes on the shoulders that Evan liked to fiddle with. Barty had huge bright green glasses that covered half his face. You looked similar to be perfectly honest.

You had to keep most of your face covered, even though the paparazzi could still recognize you it was worth a shot. Eventually, Evan joined you both. He looked nothing like you two, in his full gorgeous outfit with nothing covering his face. You rolled your eyes at him. You hugged him bye and said you’d meet him at home. He left first. A few minutes later, you pushed your glasses further up, Barty pulling his hoodie down more as you both left the gates into the parking lot. A large group of flashes and yelling following you. You reached back and grabbed onto Barty’s jean jacket, dragging him through the crowds of questions.

“Are you and Evan Rosier dating?”

“Are any of the characters going to die at the end of this season?”

“Do you have a cocanie addiction?”

“Do you have any idea who EvansFavMasocist is?”

”No comment.” You said with a monotone voice as you shoved through the crowd, finally reaching your car. When you finally made it home Evan was already on the couch, feet propped up on the coffee table. You collasped into his lap, and Barty laid ontop of you.

“What if we just made out in front of them, maybe they’d rest a little.” You whispered against Evan’s pant leg. He gently reubbed your cheek.

“Maybe.”

You wrapped up filming soon after that. After months and months of interviews and late-night shows pretending you haven’t sucked Evan’s dick or even knew his favorate color, the last season of the show was released. The fans were beyond joyous when in the very last episode you two did shut up and make out. They were excited to see what EvansFavMashocist would do with new footage.

Barty was excited too. He was schemeing, hardcore. He decided since the season came out, so could your relationship. Barty was going to do it the only way he knew how, in a slightly immoral way. He was editing for hours and finally, he had the finished product.

It started with a picture of you. It was a picture that got pretty popular in the fanbase, you were looking at a fan as they talked and people thought it was attarctive. Over the picture was the caption ‘how they look at you’. The picture flipped to show a picture that you never posted. You were on your knees, staring up at Barty as you licked his blood off the knife in your hand with the caption ‘How they look at me.’. Then it transitioned into regular editing things, clips of you varying postions and clothes but one clip that could easily slip past if the viewers weren’t paying attention was an EvansFavMasochist specialty.

Another clip that woudn’t see the light of day until he posted it. Fully from the one of the many recordings of you fucking. It was from below. Barty’s veiw of course. You knew you actively were riding Barty with Evan behind you in the video but Barty cropped it just right. The audience couldn’t see past your mid-forearm. They could see how you were moving, your bare shoulders, blissed out look and put two and two together. Evan’s head was pulled over your shoulder, staring down at Barty. He had one hand around your neck and the other was out of frame but in the original it was traveling past your belly button. Your head dropped back against Evan’s shoulder before the clip quickly changed.

It was squeezed between two regular clips barely noticeable. Next after a few more clips of you it was showing you and Evan’s on screen kiss. It flipped to a photo of Evan smiling at a fan, another popular one, with the same caption as yours ‘how he looks at you’ before it switched to another picture of Evan. It was really just a picture of the top of Evan’s head his hair and only his eyes visible. You had seen the original picture before the cropping and knew if it was zoomed out you'd see Barty’s dick halfway past Evan’s lips. This picture had the same caption as yours had, ‘how he looks at me.’ It transitioned into another regular edit, classic clips seen a thousand times before it wasn’t anymore.

Then it was a recording you had taken this time of Evan tying Barty’s hands to the headboard. Barty was out of frame mostly, just his arms and tufts of hair. Evan was the main focus, his focus and trained fingers moving quickly. With a handful of regular clips after that, the edit ended.

One thing you noticed was the sound in the background. It was a regular edit sound until you heard voices you recognized. Over your portion oof the edit, it was your moaning, Evan’s name slipping past your lips followed by a lot of curses. While it was Evan’s portion of the edit, it was his dirty talk. Degrading and praising Barty at the same time. Barty’s name wasn’t in the video but you knew who Evan was talking to, he used a different tone for you. You slowly looked away from the screen, up to Barty’s big smile.

”So? can I post it?” You waited a moment, thinking it over. It would be fun and dramatic.

“yeah sure I don’t care.” You said, sitting back on the couch. Barty turned to Evan.

“Could not care less.” Barty celebrated by running around the living room before he posted it.

The fans were shocked to say at the least. Firstly, you and Evan were in fact dating or at the very least sleeping together. Secoundly, this random editor somehow had your sextapes. Thirdly, you guys were a little more freaky than they were expecting. They thought this EvansFavMasochist guy released these clips of your tapes without your permission, resulting in a lot of backlash. Barty was chuckling his way through all the comments before he finally decied to make a follow-up video. He started with the camera low, pretending he wasn’t recording. Barty walked into your shared bedroom while you and Evan were cuddling, waiting on him.

“Guys I have a question that I need you to answer because the people in my phone are upset with me.” You both hummed at him as he jumped into bed with you two, snuggling between you. You and Evan pulled your heads over each of Barty’s shoulders so you three were in the frame.

“Okay are we dating?” Barty asked, a wide grin on his face.

“mm-hm for years.” You whispered in response.

“And I posted that last video with your permission?”

You and Evan agreed.

“And we fuck regularly?” You tilted your head back in forth in a ‘so-so’ motion. Evan snorted, pulling his head up to peck Barty on the cheek.

”Yeah, B. Whatever you want.”

“And you guys love me more than your fans because they're stupid and can't please you in the ways I can?” Barty asked, his smile edging on cheesy. You grinned at him.

“Oh yeah baby, you’re perfect.” You whispered, kissing his temple. Barty’s face got hot. He grimaced, standing up from the bed.

"Alright alright, get off me. You harlots.” He muttered as he stormed out of the room before posting his brand-new video to clear up a couple of things. Barty giggled his way through all the comments talking about how his partners talked to him and how oddly attractive it was.

[bri-cheeses]

| Rosekiller microfic | Word count: 369 |

-

“Barty. Stop stealing the blankets.”

Evan heard a sleepy groan from the boy next to him, nothing more than a shapeless lump underneath a thick comforter.

“But I’m cold,” came his response.

“That’s too bad,” Evan replied flatly. “Now give me some of the blanket.”

Barty burrowed down further in the blankets, managing to further ostracize Evan. Which was just mean, because it really was cold when you didn’t have a blanket.

“No,” Barty said, tone resolute. And Evan loved him, he really did, but he wanted some of that blanket, for goodness’ sake.

And so he made the only decision he could in such a situation.

“Fine. But just know that you’ve forced me into this course of action.”

With that warning, Evan shuffled closer to Barty and wrapped an arm around his middle, then began to incessantly tickle every available part of him, causing Barty to laugh loudly.

“Stop, stop,” he gasped, breathless from Evan’s attack. “You can have some of the blanket.”

Evan smiled victoriously—not that Barty could see it. It was quite dark in their room.

“Good,” he said as Barty lifted a corner of the blanket. The warmth it offered was more than inviting, as was the idea of being close to person beneath it, and Evan happily slid next to Barty. And thank goodness for Barty’s mercy—or his weakness to tickles—because Evan finally felt warm for the first time that night.

Next to him, Barty shifted, causing the bed to dip ever so slightly. Evan groaned; if Barty was doing that, then something was wrong.

“I’m still cold,” Barty complained, and Evan sighed. He could be so fussy sometimes.

The bed shifted again. And then, as if a stellar idea had just occurred to him, Barty said gleefully, “You know, you could keep me warm instead.”

Evan chuckled. Barty was an idiot, sure, but at least he was his idiot.

“Come here,” Evan said, and Barty complied easily. Evan hummed as he wrapped an arm around Barty’s waist, drawing his body into his own. “That feel any better?”

“Much,” Barty murmured, and Evan hummed contentedly and closed his eyes.

Don’t tell anyone, but this was how he preferred to sleep anyhow.

-

[mightbeimpossiblenotto]

Show - Oct 30 - @rosekillermicrofic - 808 words - Warnings: none

“Will you please stop by Spellbinding Sound for me?” Pandora begged as soon as Evan picked up her call.

“‘Hello, Evan, my dearest brother,’” Evan said dryly. “I think you’re supposed to greet me at the very least before asking for a favor.”

Pandora sighed noisily. “I just need a new pack of reeds for my clarinet, and you know which ones to buy.”

Evan sighed back at her. “I suppose it is on the way home. I’ll drop by for you, if you make me dinner.”

“Deal,” Pandora said, hanging up immediately. Evan looked at his phone blankly, offended for a moment, before remembering she was probably in the middle of practicing when she called.

Spellbinding Sound was a small music supply shop that Pandora favored, and Evan had been sent there a few times on errands for her. He usually didn’t mind; the owner, an older man named Albus, was kind and patient. When Evan entered the store, though, he was already helping a customer.

“Would you like me to restring the instrument for you?” Albus was asking the man in front of him. The man was shorter than Evan, with dark, tousled hair and several face piercings: two on his lip, another on his eyebrow, another on his nose, too many to count on both ears. He was wearing a graphic band t-shirt over ripped-up jeans, a leather jacket slung over his shoulder. His bare arms were covered in tattoos, and they continued up his neck and down his hands. Evan found himself wondering where else the man was tattooed.

“No, thanks,” the man said in a smooth voice. “I like to do it myself.”

He picked up his strings, which Evan assumed were for some sort of guitar or bass for his punk band, based on the man’s appearance. The man nearly ran into Evan when he spun around and walked towards the door with a swift gait.

“My bad,” the man said, worrying one of the lip rings between his teeth for a moment. “I’m Barty.”

Confused as to why the man gave his name, Evan responded with his own. “Evan.”

Evan tried to step around Barty, but Barty stepped into his path again.

“You like music?” Barty asked, and before Evan could answer, he continued talking. “You should come to my show. Friday night at the Slytherin Stage. I hope I’ll see you there.”

Evan watched him walk out the door, raising both eyebrows at the man’s gall. Inviting him to a show was one thing, but leaving directly after the invite was just dramatic. Evan shook it off and stepped up to the counter and greeted Albus.

“Does Pandora need new reeds?” Albus asked knowingly, his eyes sparkling. Evan nodded. They chatted amicably while Albus grabbed the reeds for Evan, and processed the payment for them. Soon enough, Evan was on his way home to Pandora.

Evan didn’t even know why he was attending the concert. He wasn’t a punk music person — but something about Barty had made him want to learn more. Maybe it was his overconfidence or attractiveness, but Evan felt compelled to come to his show that evening. He was surprised that attendees were dressed so nicely, and he was glad that he had come directly after work, so he was still wearing his nice work slacks and a button-down shirt. As he took his seat in the audience, in a gorgeous emerald-green auditorium. He was starting to think he had greatly misread the man he’d spoken to, because there was no way he was about to see some sort of punk band performance.

Nerves flew in his stomach as he wondered what he had signed up for, just as the curtains pulled back and revealed an entire full symphony orchestra. Evan scanned the faces of every single person until he found Barty, sitting at the very front left. He was first chair violin, the goddamn concertmaster. Evan had him pegged completely wrong.

To make matters worse, Barty looked even more attractive in the emerald green suit and tie, with his instrument propped on his knee and his bow in his other hand. Evan had been so stupid to assume he played the guitar, when clearly Barty’s body had been made to hold the violin. The conductor raised his hands, and then lovely music filled the auditorium as the orchestra began.

Evan was entranced. He watched Barty throughout the entire performance, never taking his eyes off Barty’s graceful movements. He ended up lingering by the side stage, waiting for Barty after the show. When the man emerged, he looked surprised to see Evan there.

“You came,” he said softly, before seemingly shaking confidence back into himself. “You liked the show, didn’t you?”

“I did,” Evan said. “I really did.”

And then he stepped forward and kissed Barty.

[inkshroomz]

oh my gods the Evan Rosier brainrot is getting bad.

something I don't really like in rosekiller fics they always focus on barty, even if Evan is narrating it's like he only exists as an accessory for barty,,,,and like I love barty he's my favorite character but like Evan exists too.

and like it feels like we don't have too much of a defined personality for evan like the way we all kinda agree barty is really impulsive, a player, obnoxious etc. but for Evan his personality differs so much on the fic. and I don't think we need like a VERY defined personality for Evan because the marauders fandom is supposed to be just headcanons and having fun but also aw :(

ALSO we talk about barty's relationship with his parents all the time but I really wish Evan's family relationship was discussed more, like were him and Pandora always very close growing up? do his parents like him? Does he like one parent more than the other?

[vinylfoxbooks]

June 2 - Night | @jegulus-microfic | wc: 691 Warning: drinking, talks of alcohol, James is in a state of inebriation 

It’s always joked about that when people get drunk, they call up their ex and it’s always a bad idea. James never assumed that it would be his problem -- he only has one ex and, as much as he loves Lily, his love for her has turned completely platonic and even if he did text her a random ‘I love you, please take me back’ text, Lily would be immediately concerned and ask him how many drinks he’s had. However, with Sirius and Remus having wandered off to, probably, shag in the bathroom and Pete left early because he has work in the morning -- on a Saturday, the poor bloke -- James is left alone, scrolling through Instagram with the hand not nursing his Sex on the Beach, which Sirius did in fact make fun of him for upon order because ‘only the single man would order something like that.’

And then there’s a post from Pandora. It’s a simple one, just a photo dump of her life for the past couple weeks, a couple pictures of her, Lily, and Mary, some with Barty and Evan, a picture of all of the girls together, and finally a picture of her and Regulus at some fancy event. Pandora is wearing a beautiful green sparkly dress that reaches the floor and hugs her body in the most flattering way possible and has her arm thrown around Regulus, who is- 

James takes a deep breath.

And before he knows it, he’s stepping outside with a lit cigarette between his lips and his phone pressed to his ears, calling up Regulus in the middle of the fucking night on a random Friday in June. 

To his surprise, Regulus answers. It’s with a tired, groggy voice that indicates he just woke up that he says into the phone, “James?” James doesn’t answer at first, he doesn’t know what he’s doing, he doesn’t know what he’s going to say, he doesn’t- “Hello? James, are you there?”

“Regulus.” Is the only word that manages to escape James’ lips, quiet and almost desperate, “Regulus.”

“Jamie?” Regulus asks, and James hears some rustling as though Regulus is sitting up in bed, “Are you okay? What’s wrong?”

It takes James a minute to respond, not having much to say, “I’m not very… sober, I’m sorry.”

“There’s no reason to be sorry, Jamie.” Regulus says, his voice light and comforting, “Where are you right now, let me get you home.”

“At the…” James starts, “I went out drinking with Remus and Sirius.”

“Are you at the pub near their place?” James just hums in response. He’s not that drunk. He’s only had a couple drinks, why is he acting like this? He’s always been the type of person to grow quieter the more drinks he’s had, usually because he gets even more emotional when he’s drinking and those emotions overwhelm him, leaving him quiet. But not like this… “Alright James, I’m on my way, give me a couple minutes. Are you outside?”

“Mhm, ‘m smoking.”

“Good, just stay outside for me, it’ll be easier for me to find you.” 

“Mkay.” James hums, “‘m tired.”

“I’m sure you are, it’s late.” Regulus hums, “I’m getting into my car now, do you mind hanging up so I can focus on driving?”

“Yeah.” With that, James pulls his phone away from his face and moves to press the hang up button, muttering, “I love you, Reg.” Then the call disconnects. James is just stubbing out his cigarette when Regulus comes driving around the corner and parking just in front of James, stepping out of his car. He helps James into the car silently before hopping in himself and starting to drive them to his flat. 

James doesn’t remember much of the rest of the night other than Regulus helping him inside and James bursting into tears for no apparent reason, but the next morning he wakes up laying in Regulus’ bed with the younger watching him rouse and he definitely remembers Regulus’ first words upon them making eye contact, “I love you too, James.”

James grins, “Let me take you out on a date?”

“Of course.”

[miyagic]

How they wake you up

– marauders era

CONTAINS (in order): James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, Peter Pettigrew, Regulus Black, Barty Crouch Jr., Evan Rosier, Lily Evans, Marlene McKinnon and Pandora Rosier (Lovegood).

a/n: I was bored, so I decided to make a scenario, I had this idea when I compared the way my mother wakes me up and how my sister-in-law wakes me 😭 I know I said I would do a Sirius one, but I haven't ideas, so...

w/c: 1.2k

English isn't my first language, sorry for any mistakes.

—★ JAMES POTTER

If there's one thing James Potter knows, it's how to love somebody. He's caring by nature, always trying to make others happy, always putting other people above himself. However, he can be poisonous before you actually get to know him.

James likes physical contact and as your boyfriend, he expects you to like his physical contact too, so I feel like James wakes people up with touches.

I think with friends, James would grab that person's arm and pull lightly while whispering their name. However, when he gets tired (and it doesn't take long) he would throw himself on top of the person and just start screaming.

However, with his girlfriend, you, he would leave kisses all over your face and then fan you. If you are a heavy sleeper, at some point he will get tired and tickle you. If you don't wake up with the tickles, or don't have them, he will throw himself on top of you and say your name louder.

Well, and if you're a REALLY heavy sleeper, James will ask Sirius or Remus for help because he's starting to get worried and completely out of ideas of what to do.

—★ SIRIUS BLACK

Uh, well, Sirius isn't the best person to wake someone up, but he's not bad!

With the energy he naturally has, he would already enter your room talking loudly, so if you are a light sleeper, his presence in itself is a good wake-up call.

With friends, Sirius would shake them carelessly and then start shouting their name while complaining about talking to that person and them being asleep.

With you being his girlfriend he would be a little different, not much because he's Sirius Black, but still different.

I think he would try to be careful, but he would run out of patience. Then he would go, shake you lightly while saying your name, run out of patience and shake you hard and say your name more loudly.

But after you wake up, he would give you an apologetic kiss, because he feels bad <3.

—★ REMUS LUPIN

This man in a professor in waking people up.

If you have a right way to wake up, he knows, just like he knows about all his other friends.

He also does a lot of blackmail, like "if you wake up I'll do..." or simply lie and say that something is going to happen or that there is some type of food that the person likes.

However, with a girlfriend, Remus would be more careful. He would walk up to you and kiss your cheek and shake you lightly.

He helps you get up and if you're really sleepy he helps you wake up too.

He knows how to wake someone up and you can be sure that he will find a way to wake you up without any difficulty.

—★ PETER PETTIGREW

Peter isn't the best at waking other people up. But... He's good too?

Peter just shakes people while speaking on their behalf, if you're a light sleeper it's peaceful and really nice. But if you're a heavy sleeper... sorry, my love, but with Peter you'll stay in bed.

He's sweet and really tries to wake the other person up calmly, but there are people who wake up that easily and Peter can't wake people up any other way, he feels bad.

So if you don't wake up, he gives up.

To be honest, Peter ends up sleeping with you more often than actually wakes you up.

—★ REGULUS BLACK

Regulus is sweet, but he doesn't have much patience.

If he's having a bad day, I feel sorry for you. But it's rare for his parents to send letters.

First, with friends, he shakes lightly, the force with which he shakes increases.

If his friends don't wake up, he just gives up and leaves.

With girlfriends, oh he's the best. Waking up with Regulus, being his girlfriend, is the best feeling of your life, you can be sure.

He kisses your face, shakes you carefully while whispering your name. If you really don't wake up, it shakes harder, but nothing too exaggerated.

When you are a little awake, he kisses your mouth, which makes you more awake. He picks you up and puts you on your feet so you can't end up falling asleep again.

A sweet and loving cupcake with his princess treatment <3.

—★ BARTY CROUCH JR.

Barty is... horrible.

He has no patience, much less care.

It doesn't matter if it's a friend, it doesn't matter if it's a girlfriend, he does exactly the same thing.

He shakes hard, screams your name and, scariest of all, grabs your leg and pulls you.

It hurts. But he doesn't care.

He drags you to the floor without any care, if you manage to hold on to the mattress, well, the mattress goes to the floor too.

I am really sorry. The most he can do is give you a kiss if you really hurt yourself when you fall.

—★ EVAN ROSIER

Evan is simple, he shakes you and calls you.

If you don't wake up, he gives up.

It depends on whether he really likes you and calls Regulus or if he doesn't and calls Barty.

On a day when he feels particularly good, he may stay until you wake up.

When he sees you later, he hugs and kisses you, pretending that he simply didn't try to wake you up.

If it's a friend, he simply says "ask Barty".

—★ LILY EVANS

There's not much to say about Lily.

She's sweet and usually knows how to wake people up.

First, she shakes lightly while calling your name, if you don't wake up she gives you little kisses on the cheek. But if she loses her temper, Lily goes downstairs and gets a glass of ice-cold water.

And you know what happens.

If you're her girlfriend, she'll give you an apologetic kiss too <3.

—★ MARLENE MCKINNON

Uhg, one of the worst people to wake others up.

There's not much to say, she screams, shakes hard and throws water too.

LOTS of water. And as cold as she can get.

If you date her, maybe she'll just throw a half of a glass with water and if you get upset, she'll give you a hug, but she doesn't really feel bad at all.

—★ PANDORA ROSIER (LOVEGOOD)

Pandora is the sweetest, she is a vanilla cookie.

Kisses, hugs, shake your body as carefully as you've ever seen someone do.

She doesn't really lose her temper, she likes to wake people up.

If it's a friend, depending, she gives them a few kisses on the cheek, but if you're her girlfriend, she completely fills your face with kisses.

She kisses you until you wake up, lots of hugs, she even lies down next to you.

She helps you get up, chooses your clothes and combs your hair.

She spends all her time with you, until it's time to go to class or until you're actually awake.

Her excitement wakes you up, honestly.

The best girlfriend you could have <3.

[grimst4rs]

marauders era unpopular opinions, once more

i really don’t like fanon regulus. i don’t like him being helpless and kind and a sirius variant. he’s morally grey, leaning towards morally dark, he’s selfish, he agreed to his parents’ and voldemort’s ideologies, having joined the death eaters most likely by his own will (unlike draco malfoy). but obviously, everyone is allowed to characterise characters the very way they want to

and while we’re on it, i don’t like evan and barty either, for the same reason. maybe i would, if they were realistically characterised (i LOVE reading morally grey or morally dark(er) characters), and once again, i believe that just because one likes a character, that doesn’t always mean that the character is a good person

and continuing on the same topic, the sunshine james potter, although being a topic that i like and delved deeper into myself, is nice, but i would also love to see more of arrogant, spoiled james potter, too

not liking severus snape and peter pettigrew but liking evan, barty and regulus is kind of hypocritical

i don’t like jegulus

i also don’t like the casanova, bad boy characterisation of remus, and the helpless, needy characterisation of sirius either. to me, they’re out of character, overly done and absolutely not enjoyable

and because i earlier mentioned severus snape, i think he’s an interesting character, actually. that doesn’t make him a good person (once again, i believe him to be morally grey, too) and i can’t call myself a lover of his, however i find his story and character very interesting and compelling

i don’t like a lot of the wolfstar dynamics in current fandom

“we need more content about the girls!” literally do it yourself. please. whenever i write content about the men, i get a wave of new followers, and whenever i post about the non-men, suddenly i have tebs of people unfollowing me. oh, and my posts about the men have twice or thrice the notes of the other ones

sirius > regulus

and speaking of which, sirius is such an interesting character, and he was reduced by many people to nothing, or whatever is relevant to the plot

james would pick sirius over regulus any time, with literally no hesitation

i don’t care about popular fics (read or don’t read, i generally don’t read popular fics to be honest), however i do care about the way creators, especially writers, are treated in this fandom. i made a few posts about this topic, feel free to ask me to link them to you, but the way some people feel entitled to fic and fandom content is horrible

“x is the female version of— !” please stop. i’m going to stop you right here.

stop tagging jegulus and wolfstar and other mlm ships with wlw and nmlnm tags, for god’s sake. you’re just clogging the tag, and if i came looking for a certain ship, that’s what i’m going to expect to find. besides, why would you tag jegulus with, say, pandalily, when jegulus is by far more popular?

jegulus < jily

[alter-ego-xxx]

Can we talk about trans evan and rosekiller for a minute (this is longer than i meant im sorry in advance!)

Because straight away you have barty being the most protective bf there has ever been, even a whisper of evan pre-t or "feminine" features ends up with someone cursed and him grinning

Barty, who looooves all the effects of T on evan, the muscle definition, the little stubble moustache that evan keeps even if it's wispy, how his smell changes, and its suddenly so much hot

Then the sex? oh god, i personally hc that if dysphoria isnt bad evan looooves having a cunt, Barty who just keeps evan sat on his cock, playing with evans T-dick and all the sensitive places that are worse because of the hormones.

It could also be an experiment, he probably has a little journal dedicated to what makes evan cum and react. Pages dedicated to different ways to stroke him, suck him, how he reacts to being touched, how his skin flushes etc

My exact reaction when I read your ask, anon.

nsfw

Barty loving the t effects just as much as Evan himself??? YESYESYES. And also, the cock warming is so hot, but Barty also loves to just have his mouth on Evan's cunt whenever possible. Evan is his breakfast, lunch, snack, dinner, and dessert. He's teasing and sucking him with the excuse that "you have to apply suction to your little cock, love! He'll grow much bigger like that!"

And Barty taking notes of all his observations? So fucking hot (when is it my turn?). I usually see Evan more as the observing scientist of the two, but what if they do it together? Evan also wants to know what brings him to an orgasm the fastest and wants to compare his results with Barty's. Oh god, they're just so deranged and hot, they drive me insane.