#Especially when superheroes are depicted as assholes

[yoinkschief]

Sigh,,,, [Makes an entire new AU]

Would you like to hear about how he literally destroyed the world and now Edd plays superhero (and miserably fails at vigilantism) while his friends flee Earth and instead become space's brand of UPS?

[linkspooky]

Oh I want you to go all in deep! As deep as you can go!

So plz tell me. How is Kitty Pryde from X-Men is like Mai Zenin from jjk?

I'm going to take this joke ask completely seriously, watch me.

Why are Mai Zenin and Kitty Pryde from X-men the same character? To begin with a brief history on comic books at the time. The Uncanny X-men is one of Marvel's most popular series, it features a school full of children who are gifted with great super powers but otucasted from society because of it and need to be taught by older people with the same powers how to use them. So you know, nothing like Jujutsu Kaisen.

X-men is the original "superhero high school" story. If a story features a bunch of teenagers with superpowers it's probably at the very least indirectly inspired by X-Men. When there's worldbuilding where some people in the world just happen to be born with superpowers, that idea probably came from X-Men. X-men is iconic! Kitty Pryde was introduced to the comic as a result of a Marvel Comics editorial dictate that the series depict a school for mutant children.

Kitty Pryde was the youngest to join the X-men at the time of her creation, and served as the archetpyal "Kid Sister" character to all of the older teams in the group. Not only does she play the part of a literary foil, she's also someone who provides an audience perspective especially to younger readers. The whole point of having a bunch of teenagers have super powers is to make the characters relatable so you can imagine yourself as one of them, so as the other characters got older they added Kitty Pryde to give the audience a new perspective character.

Except, Kitty Pryde is one of the most famous X-Men. Bar none. There's something about how young and normal she is that makes her appealing, especially around a band of freaks, a lot of whom have much more dramatic backstories than her. She's a lot more interesting than just "the baby sister" or "the normal one" because her perspective is unique, she's literally a kid who's thrown into this new world. She's sympathetic because the world she's just stumbled into is bigger than her and she just barely knows what's going on and she's just a normal person who happens to have the ability to walk through walls.

Then we have Mai Zenin, the most teen girl of teen girls. She is a character who should be as immediately sympathetic and relatable as Kitty Pryde, because she also is a completely normal girl thrown into a world she doesn't like, but we the audience don't see her that way because she's not the perspective character, Nobara is.

And Nobara thinks Mai is an asshole.

This is where I go back and introduce you to more comics history. Running at the same time as Marvel's X-Men and just as popular was a series that was also about teenage superheroes, the New Teen Titans. They decided to add a younger teenage girl to a team filled with young adults mostly in their late teens or early twenties but with a twist.

George’s strength was he also understood the characters 100 percent as I did so there was never any question. He knew. We had talked enough about the characters to know we were exactly on the same page with them. So I said, “Everyone keeps complaining that we’re like the X-Men” and the X-Men had just gotten Kitty Pryde. I said, “Why don’t we really screw around with them completely?” — this is the fans — “…and make them think we’re stealing Kitty Pryde only she’s gonna be bad from Day One.” You always had characters pop up, certainly at Marvel, who were bad that get redeemed. But this character would never get redeemed. She was insane. In fact, she was the catalyst for everything. She wasn’t working for Deathstroke. He was working for her in many ways and she was leading him because she’s crazy. She’s a total psychopath… and she’d be 15. 

In a famous interview Marv Wolfman admits that the concept of Terra came from everyone accusing Teen Titans of stealing from the X-Men, so they decided to make a character exactly like Kitty Pryde... but an asshole.

Terra is the exact same character as Kitty Pryde, young teenage girl added to the team, feels like she doesn't belong anywhere, completely new to life, can't control her powers, but Marv Wolfram and George Perez decided to write her as an antagonist to the main characters so despite having sympathetic traits, the audience doesn't sympathize with her.

Terra's the asshole little sister.

Which is essentially the same concept for Mai, especially in regards to her relationship with Maki. Mai doesn't present herself right away as a loving little sister who looks up to Mai, and loves her in spite of the Zen'in's treatment of Maki. She piles onto the Zen'in's abuse and throws the same insults at her. She's immediately unlikable as Nobara the audience perspective character decides to hate her. After all they grew up in the same household, Maki can be strong and fight back, Mai is just weak and blames others.

Mai, just like Terra too doesn't really want to get stronger, she doesn't want to change. She pouts, sulks, whines, makes excuses, blames others, all ways that we don't like to see victims acting because Maki can be strong right? So why not Mai? Terra was created to be everything that Kitty Pryde is not, and Mai was created to be everything Maki is not.

That's why Kitty Pryde and also Terra remind me of Mai Zen'in, because she is literally created to be the little sister of Maki Zen'in a character we're supposed to love and sympathize, with the exact same backstory of Maki... but an asshole.

[goingrampant]

The Boys #1 notes: page 5

On page 5, Robin is fridged in a particularly gory way when a superhero villain named A-Train (an evil version of the Flash) throws a supervillain in such a way that his body smashes through Robin, completely pulverizing her, on the way to smash into a wall. A-Train doesn't register the civilian casualty and is even rude to Wee Hughie as he passes him to resume the fight. Wee Hughie is left holding Robin's dismembered arms ending in bloody stumps. His horror is the motivation leading him to hate superheroes in their roles as symbols of the corrupt world. It's communist-friendly and also fash-friendly. I'll tell you when we reach something the fash can't use.

The panel depicting the fridging is brutal... but also has a shot of the villain's buttocks and crotch area for a bit of bathroom humor. It is tonally wrong for this part of the plot. Deadpool does something similar in the film intro, where he basically humps the camera while trying to squirm into the taxi passenger seat through the little window.

That works there because it's a small bit of humor in a quiet moment, breaking up the awkward intro, but the scene in The Boys should simply be a moment of horror. Trying to make it funny--especially with something so vulgar--ruins the emotional core. We're supposed to relate to Wee Hughie seeing the depth of corruption in the superhero industrial complex, but our view of him and his situation is rendered unempathetic.

The TV show simplified this scene, made it even gorier, and has much more of an emotional core for removing the supervillain entirely and just making A-Train run through Robin at supersonic speeds. It's in-line with the theme of "What if superheroes were real? What horrible consequences would there be?" by exploring something going awry with a superpower and connects more with the plot as we wonder who A-Train is and where he's going in such a hurry. It's more empathetic by centering the gore and Hughie's reaction as about the horrible loss of human life instead of just superheroes being random assholes.

In the show, A-Train's corruption is handled better because he stops, cognizant of his horrible mistake, mutters, "Can't stop," in an apologetic tone, and then runs off. Later, he doesn't take responsibility and indicates Robin died because of her own carelessness. That is a much better take on corruption. A-Train is corrupt, but he's still a human being and expresses some genuine empathy in the moment. That makes us care about him and realize we could be that guy. He's not just some random asshole we can dehumanize into The Enemy, which is how the comics frame him.

Also, comics A-Train is darker than Wee Hughie and Robin while still somewhat light-skinned. The show translates this as him being black, which is reasonable, but I see a lot of racists online complaining that he was white in the comics. Was he? Ugh. It doesn't matter. It makes sense to have the main cast of a TV show have racial diversity in it regardless of whether the comics do or not. I say the only time it really matters is if the character has a part to play in a racially-charged dynamic and even then can be racebent if the writing is good (like Namor changing from Jewish-coded to Indigenous in Wakanda Forever).

As for the fridging itself, it seems more gratuitous and sexist in the comics because of the surrounding tone. Women aren't characters the reader is supposed to see themselves in or really respect. Robin is just a hot girlfriend for Wee Hughie--reader stand-in--to appreciate, who is immediately killed off and that's that. The show just makes everything more feminist and treats Robin with more respect, even in death. Thank you, Rebecca Sonnenshine.

[softgrungeprophet]

the batman (and riddler) thoughts

most of my criticisms of the batman def come as criticisms of superhero and action media as a whole ie

evil mental illness, “not ALL cops are evil see?” etc. (tho ofc both of these are baked into batman as a property in a way that is probably actually the genesis of a lot of these tropes in superhero media as a whole, considering the longevity of the character)

but like okay

i found aspects of the riddler to be—to me—very obviously tied to like... american trends of mass violence as perpetrated by usually white dudes who feel wronged by the world and thus, shoot up a school or invade a building of people or whatever. i was thinking about the way he so clearly fit into that role for most of the movie and how obvious it felt to me the whole time i was in the theater. so like to ME personally the ending with the attempted massacre didn’t feel out of left field because for *me* the entire time i was viewing him specifically through the lens of american mass shootings and domestic terrorism as enacted on the small scale by hyper-privileged white men who will literally kill anyone who doesn’t cater directly to their wants and needs

but then! the mask came off and I found myself intensely frustrated by the way they turned this around. the severely obvious autisticly homoerotic coding that is so rampant in media for very specific kinds of obsessive villains, and the weird attempt at a sympathetic backstory—those just didn’t click for me and made me uncomfortable because they didn’t feel like they fit the MO that was actually displayed on-screen, which felt very heavily influenced by certain kinds of far-right online groups, IRL streamings of mass shootings, etc. like i don’t think that can be uncoupled from the depiction because to me as an american it felt extremely deliberate and very clear, but then again everyone is going to have different interpretations so i can’t say this is the correct way to view it, just the way i viewed it and thus the way it influenced my reading of the movie as a whole

like, to me, selina’s stuff felt like it fit pretty well. her struggles specifically, and her hatreds and personal motivations, and the way she and bruce responded to each other in ways obviously informed by their very different socioeconomic backgrounds, and her response when bruce has like zero empathy for her roommate, like that all made sense and fit with this story of this dude whose life does suck in a lot of ways but when compared to her life and her friends’ lives obviously he has waaaay more privilege and is still in the process of learning empathy and learning that other people matter (like alfred) so like THAT stuff worked for me. bruce realizing, oh, i should care about people, and selina trying to give him the hard truth that it sucks that he lost his parents but he had it fucking easy compared to most people in the world. THAT worked for me especially as i’m not looking for a hero who is inherently some paragon of virtue ordained by fate to be a perfect good-hearted soul. like fuck that, yeah he’s an idiot and an asshole sometimes but that doesn’t mean he shouldn’t learn to do and be better.

but the stuff with the riddler felt like a really clumsy attempt to kind of emphasize that role of privilege and socioeconomics (and mental illness) but pasted onto the kind of person who is almost always privileged above their peers socioeconomically or emotionally, who is often catered to, and who feels it’s their right to make choices about the rest of the world, and that other people deserve whatever they get—like he absolutely does feel like he’s meant to be a direct mirror of what bruce could be, of that “she had it coming” attitude, but i don’t think that the poor crazy orphan bit really supports that in a way that feels genuine or interesting to me personally especially because of the way i read him and thus the way shooters and far right trolls were embedded contextually in my mind the entire time i was watching the movie. the way those kinds of people are treated by society at large—which is to often be given a pass that other people (especially black and brown, or mentally ill or disabled people) do not get. to have a platform, and not be removed. to commit a crime, and be detained without being murdered for existing, and so on and so forth.

like to me it genuinely would have made more sense for the riddler himself to be some fucking up-his-own-ass educated middle or upper class shithead who thinks he’s real clever, more than the dude who was raised in a shitty orphanage and is mentally ill and spooky for it, especially with as mentioned the lens that seemed to be present for me—that of the mass shooter.

but like i said my reading is probably different from other readings and is of course informed by my personal status as a poverty-line, neurologically disordered queer living in a country where death has become kind of a constant presence in the form of mass shootings, and racism-driven killings and state-sanctioned ableism and for-profit medicine and limited financial safety nets and domestic terrorism so on and so forth, even though i obviously don’t live in jersey

but also brief aside about the ~spooky craziness~, separate from all of that. the like, idk if it was the director or the actor or both or more than that, but his performance outside of the mask was deeply uncomfortable for me to watch because it feels intensely like, “one of these dudes saw an autistic or schizophrenic or other type of disabled person make weird noises in public once and that’s what this performance is” especially in the form of his aggrieved wailing in the prison cell. like that was SO distinctly familiar to me and it made me very uncomfortable to see that very specific behavior used in this way.

but it’s SO rampant in horror media especially, but also in superhero stuff where either it’s oh the spooky crazy weirdo or else the baby crazy pitiable creature, and it drives me nuts cause it’s so obvious how little understanding or empathy the people making these decisions have for mental illnesses, neurological disorders, learning disabilities, i mean even physical disabilities and birth defects are either treated as a punishment for some sin or else as a physical manifestation of a character’s evilness (dr doom) or even just as a fucking... it’s your fault you’re disfigured/disabled/whatever else (cough spider-man/deadpool cough)

so like, even with the minor plot about bruce’s mother and potentially the implications for bruce himself, as someone with my own disorder that genuinely prevents me from functioning (but not in a way that is “inconvenient” for others, just for myself and my mother) and with a younger sibling who is very visibly and noticeably autistic, having to sit in the theater and watch that performance was incredibly frustrating and uncomfortable for how obviously purposeful it was.

like i genuinely liked this movie a lot and i think it did a lot right especially tonally and stylistically, and there was a lot about its cinematography and script and sense of humor and seriousness that was really refreshing, and paul dano’s actual performance is like, well-done, but even though it was well done from a technical standpoint the notes it hit throughout the film felt deeply frustrating to me for the reasons i mentioned

i liked the other shit though, love the weird slapstick and the cinammontography and the use of darkness as a framing device and so on and so forth

it just, like every other superhero movie on the planet (including my beloved tasm) has a few glaring flaws that don’t inherently make it a movie that isn’t worth watching but that do instill a certain level of frustration in me (or sometimes just eye-rolling lmao)

[maxwell-grant]

any thoughts on james bond??

Not really a fan and I don’t think that’s gonna change. I don’t have much experience with the character to begin with, I watched the Daniel Craig movies which bored me to death. I watched Goldfinger, which I remembered as being fun the first time I viewed it as a kid, but I find it hard to stand as an adult because Sean Connery was an awful man and oh yeah, that’s also the movie where James Bond rapes someone (I get that it was supposed to be a slap-slap-kiss thing but that is very much not what it’s in the scene). And I read the original Casino Royale novel, which is a must-read largely for it’s importance in pop culture and has some interesting aspects to it but, again, nothing that really got me to seek out the character.

Look, I get why Bond has become this huge cultural institution and the spy of popular fiction ever since his debut, why the 60s was the era of “Bond, Beatles and Batman” and why he’s kinda become the new standard for non-superhero action protagonists. I am extremely fond of that particular style you see in media like The Incredibles and Team Fortress 2, and that style owes a lot of it to the Bond films, hell I just posted above a screencap of Venture Bros, my favorite cartoon series. I’m certainly not gonna knock on popular enjoyment of a morally dubious man of action in a slick suit who charms and shoots his way through problems, after writing my most popular posts on my unabashed worship of Vincenzo. 

The things I like the most about Bond’s character in Casino Royale and the Bond of the original novels are largely the ways in which he almost betrays the impossibly competent image he’s been set up with later. I like that he gets picked specifically just because he’s the Service’s best gambler and not because he's the best everythint, I like that he’s uncomfortable with killing and especially the targeted assassinations, I like that he has vices and struggles because of his job. His job kinda forces him to be by default an unfeeling asshole who exploits people, and I think that’s an interesting perspective to develop, even without the context of it being James Bond before “being James Bond is the coolest thing ever” was the driving thesis of the franchise.

Thing is, I never really found any reason to give a damn about anything in Bond, other than enjoyment of the stylistic trappings and absurdities which just get kinda old after a while. I don’t enjoy the titular character or the hordes of largely one-dimensional "Bond Girls”, I don’t think the villains are interesting despite their supposed reputation in pop culture, I don’t get that much enjoyment out of death traps and car chases and gun fights if I don’t have anything at all to care about in the situations. I don’t think characters inspired by Bond tend to be interesting and even Bond parodies have gotten largely old and stale (I do like Johnny English but that’s solely because Rowan Atkinson is my favorite comedian and I’ll watch him in anything, and even then I didn’t even remember there was a third film).

As a kid, the idea of being a secret agent in service of the government has never really been terribly appealing to me, and as an adult it appeals even less. I don’t entirely dislike government agent characters by default, I really like Dale Cooper from Twin Peaks and An Gi-Seok from Vincenzo and agents of fictional organizations like Hellboy’s BRPD and Carmen Sandiego’s ACME, but I can’t shake off the stink of imperialism off my perception of Bond in particular. Again, I know it’s fiction, I know I talk about morally dubious protagonists I love all the time, but it’s the fact that Bond is so closely tied to his role as a government-sponsored murderer, my disdain for real-life governments and secret services being depicted in fiction as a swell and cool thing and not at all what they actually are, and the fact that I do not find Bond at all convincing or interesting enough for me to overlook that and buy into the fantasy, all blends together to make me dislike him.  

And yeah, Ian Fleming had utterly wretched views on gender and race and that bleeds a lot into the stories. People knock on pulps for racism and sexism a lot, and it's not undeserved, but even then I’ve seldom read anything in them as appallingbas the kind of shit you get on the Bond novels, and it’s harder to separate those from the character when so much of it is framed as the thoughts and opinions and attitudes of the character to the world around him. I would still not like James Bond even if I could put aside all the racism and sexism, and I very much cannot, but the fact that they are there, atop everything else, atop the character being an actual rapist at worst and his most iconic actor being unabashedly proud of being a wife beater and somehow still remembered fondly as a pop culture badass, and you end up with the one time Alan Moore did a comically grotesque exaggeration of a character in LOEG and I thought “you know what, I acknowledge that this is overblown and stupid and immersion-breaking but fuck it, I can’t blame you for your thoughts on this particular character manifesting with such bile”.

I know there’s good stuff in James Bond novels and films, I know why the character is super iconic and popular, please don’t misconstrue anything I’m saying as me thinking James Bond fans are horrible or something, because I don’t want to get that across at all. But I personally do not like Bond, and I don’t think I have to force myself to when there’s so many other types of characters and even spies that I prefer so much more. I don’t think I’m ever really going to be a Bond fan (I do like Timothy Dalton as an actor though, and if Sam Neil ever got to play Bond like he auditioned for, I probably would have at least some affection for the character since I really like him). 

I do like Austin Powers also. A lot of the jokes have aged really poorly and apparently Mike Myers is kind of an ass on set, but I think the concept of the eternally outdated parody spy still works, the films still have pretty funny scenes, and most importantly, he spoofed the concept to death so hard that even Daniel Craig said “Mike Myers fucked us”. Austin sucked out and absorbed all the fun parts of James Bond and then made them so funny and ridiculous that the Bond franchise has never again been able to have too much fun with itself, and if I gave a shit about Bond I would probably dislike that, but I don’t so, you go Austin. 

[thefledglingdm]

full information is below the cut, BUT! with this fic finally complete, i wanted to re-share it. *slaps word doc* this bad boy can fit so much:

kurapika as a badass vigilante/lawyer who doubles as a pining gay disaster for tall drink of water leorio (same tbh)

leorio as a clinic doctor and exhibiting just some true KING behavior

killua performing the magic trick of being everyone’s favorite snarky, sarcastic asshole AND a marshmallow man when it comes to his siblings

political intrigue! mystery! suspense! investigations!

the zoldyck siblings being the world’s smartest and most disastrous criminal peanut gallery

the family is found, your honor

hisoka makes some cameos and he is truly just a feral little man

coffee shop au meets superhero au

ANGST and FLUFF and FEELS

lots of hxh character cameos

the line “this is the family baja blast”

essentially the vibe “so you’re gonna suffer, but you’re gonna be very happy?”

if that sounds like a way to spend a day, give it a click!

Chapters: 8/8 Fandom: Hunter X Hunter Rating: Mature Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Relationships: Kurapika/Leorio Paladiknight, Minor or Background Relationship(s) Characters: Kurapika (Hunter X Hunter), Leorio Paladiknight, Gon Freecs, Killua Zoldyck, Senritsu | Melody, Biscuit Krueger Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Aged-Up Character(s), Vigilante Kurapika, Doctor Leorio, Blood and Injury, Violence, Swearing, Intrigue, Trans Kurapika, Trans Alluka Zoldyck, Trans Nanika, GNC Kalluto, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Pining, kurapika is a gay disaster, Kurapika is similar to [REDACTED] from the Spider-Man DLC, Killugon is Background, Transphobia, Found Family Summary:

Yorknew was a vile city.

But from these depths rose a - hero was not the right word. The have-nots loved him and the haves feared him, hated him, wondered who this mole was in their ranks who took the upper echelon’s dirty laundry and flung it out to dry. Backroom deals and recordings made it to the paper. Especially corrupt or violent officials were left strung up (alive, though he didn’t seem to care much if they lasted or not) with clippings of their wrongdoings fluttering around them.

To some, he was a folk hero. To others, he was a nightmare given flesh. To all he was a reckoning dressed in black and silver and red.

He signed his letters and elaborately staged scenes with Bloody Chain.

--- a vigilante hunter x hunter au.

[destieltropecollection]

Destiel Trope Collection 2019 Day 12: Enemies To Lovers

Mine | @dean-cas-in-the-impala Rating: Explicit Word Count: 5095 Main Tags and Warnings: Hurt/Comfort, Romance, First time, Demon Dean, Angel Cas, Enemies to Lovers Summary: With his grace bound and wings injured, Castiel stumbles into a bar full of demons. Someone saves him from inevitable death, but at what cost?

Coffee Spills and Subway Sandwiches | @asexualcas Rating: General Word Count: 2710 Main Tags and Warnings: No Warnings Apply, College AU Summary: Castiel hates the cold. But not as much as he hates Dean Winchester. When Dean spills scalding coffee on Cas’s new bee shirt, that does nothing to help his dislike for the man. Spending an afternoon hellbent on inconveniencing him? That just might.

Scars | @lemonsorbae Rating: Explicit Word Count: 147565 Main Tags and Warnings: Hate at First Sight, Enemies to Lovers, Slow Burn, Domestic, Hurt/Comfort, Angst, From Sex to Love, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, Drinking, Underage Drinking, Drug Use Summary: Dean Winchester doesn’t answer to anybody about anything. Not about his ever changing hair color or tattoos, not his music, and definitely not about all the fucks he definitely doesn’t give. Of course, then he meets pretentious, skinny jean wearing, ugly sweater buying Castiel Edlund who’s hardest lot in life is probably alphabetizing inventory at his uncle’s record store, and suddenly Dean has to answer for everything. Castiel, on the other hand, had long since accepted his fate as an anti-social, directionless, and misunderstood soul, with his cat, Meg, and a bottle of whiskey being the only company he needed. But then fate threw him Dean, the abrasive, infuriating punk who wears guyliner, and walks around like the chip on his shoulder is something to be proud of, and Castiel’s carefully constructed life was turned ass over teakettle. After a heated exchange upon first meeting, a mutual loathing afterwards, and the glaring opposites in their lives, neither of them sees the point of mixing oil and water. Which would be all good and well, except neither of them seems to be able to stay away from the other.

The Difference Between a Pirate and a Gentleman | @pimentogirl Rating: Explicit Word Count: 67739 Main Tags and Warnings: graphic depictions of violence, mentions of slavery, pining, slowburn Summary: The Righteous Man, feared pirate captain of The Black Impala, scourge of the Caribbean, is rapidly climbing the chart of The Royal Navy’s Most Wanted list. Although, it’s hard to get the message out: Woodcut wanted posters mysteriously disappear from the noticeboards as fast as they are posted, to be secreted in diaries and scrapbooks, and tales of his daring do are so popular in the taverns and brothels throughout the region, he’s rapidly becoming a folk hero. Lieutenant Castiel James Milton on the other hand is relatively unknown, but well-regarded by the crew of HMS Swallow. They should be sworn enemies, of course, but then being an anglo-french aristocrat born in Tortuga to parents who should never have been together in the first place, Castiel has never been very good at ‘should’, despite his best efforts to do his ‘duty’ to his domineering grandfather, the Earl of Northumberland. By the time his real enemy catches up with Dean, it’s pretty obvious to everyone that there’s very little difference between a pirate and a gentleman…

don’t go breaking my heart | @breathingdestiel Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 2485 Main Tags and Warnings: au, past friends with benefits, misunderstandings Summary: Dean absolutely hates Castiel Novak. He’ll do whatever it takes to stop that asshole from getting the promotion.

The Galaxy’s Most Wanted | @saltnhalo Rating: Explicit Word Count: 10160 Main Tags and Warnings: Space pirates, enemies to lovers, sci-fi Summary: Dean had been the one always up to mischief, running around with his father’s broken laser pistol and constantly getting into places he shouldn’t have been. Sam, in comparison, always seemed to be the smart, studious one – until he reprogrammed the AI in their neighbours’ house to play ‘Happy Birthday’ at the loudest possible volume while keeping all the doors and windows firmly locked. It had taken two experts seven hours to undo the coding that Sam had managed to integrate into the house’s programming. So, yes. They had been exceptional even from the beginning. And when John Winchester crossed one too many people, his sons inherited his beloved ship, and took to the cosmos doing what they knew best: stealing. And they were damn good at it too. Almost unrivalled, across their own galaxy and even those neighbouring. Almost.

Shot Through The Heart | @peanutbutterjelly-pie Rating: Explicit Word Count: 156327 Main Tags and Warnings: Alternate Universe - Supernatural Elements, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, UST, Slow Build Summary: As a hunter Dean finds himself more often than not relying on the help of the Men of Letters. Most of the time that’s not much of a problem - if it wasn’t for Castiel, the smartass bookworm with the piercing blue eyes, the messy hair and the rude attitude. Yeah, he’s been an annoying thorn in Dean’s side since day one - and nothing will ever change that! Seriously NOTHING!!

Dean Winchester is Not Afraid of Ghosts | @DesiraeLovesDestiel Rating: Explicit Word Count: 481000 Main Tags and Warnings: photographer Dean/Medium Castiel, paranormal AU, enemies to lovers, hurt/comfort, smut, fluff, angst, humor Summary: When photographer Dean Winchester is not capturing momentous occasions like weddings and graduations with his Nikon, he is moonlighting as the cameraman for the South Shore Paranormal; a ghost hunting series on YouTube, headed by his brother Sam, and Sam’s best friend Gabriel. Despite his brother’s adamance, Dean Winchester does not believe in ghosts. And no one is going to change his mind. Certainly not a scam artist like Castiel Novak. Castiel is a self-proclaimed medium… and Gabriel’s brother. When a member of the SSP team has to leave the crew, Castiel is the replacement, much to Dean’s dismay. But the more they work together, the more Dean is drawn to Castiel, the man stirring up protective instincts usually only reserved for family. What happens when Dean realizes that Castiel is not the fake he always thought he was, but instead, a generous soul that Dean is rapidly falling in love with?

Just A Gigolo | @sheinthatfandom Rating: No Rating Word Count: 1658 Main Tags and Warnings: escort au, escort service, escort dean, escort cas, mentioned clients, switch Dean, implied sex acts Summary: Dean Winchester is the one of the top escorts of his company and uses his charms and personality to steal clients from his friendly rival. Castiel is the top escort of his company and is known for being high class and able to network with politicians and many powerful men. So stealing Dean’s clients is just a bit of fun for him, especially when he gets to rub it in. But what will happen when Castiel decides to see for himself what the draw is to being with Dean?

Classroom Conflict | @galaxystiel Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 5616 Main Tags and Warnings: AU, Human!Castiel, Professor!Castiel, Professor!Dean, university, enemies to lovers, 5+1, Summary: Five times Literature Professor Castiel Novak and Physics Professor Dean Winchester clashed, and one time they didn’t.

You Shook Me | @braezenkitty Rating: Mature Word Count: 12317 Main Tags and Warnings: Alternate Universe - Rock Band, Dean Plays Guitar, Singer Castiel, Singer Dean, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, Frottage, Implied/Referenced Homophobia Summary: The Salty Demons are set to compete in a battle of the bands, but when their lead singer drops out at the last minute, they need someone to fill in. Bass guitarist Meg brings in her friend Cas to audition and Sam thinks he’s a good fit, but Dean is worried he’s too punk. With the competition looming though, they don’t have much choice, and Castiel is the best option they have. Dean has to come to terms with the new lead singer and the attraction he feels towards him before he ends up sabotaging the band’s chance at winning the competition.

For This Night and All Nights to Come | @thursdays-fallen-angel Rating: Explicit Word Count: 14554 Main Tags and Warnings: Game of Thrones Fusion Summary: Back in the southern castle Castiel once called home, cold was used to describe a bath that had sat too long and was no longer steaming, or a room with a draft. It was cold if one had to put on a tunic with sleeves to go riding. North of the Wall, cold takes on a whole new meaning. Here, cold means frozen rations and endless snow, frostbitten limbs and stolen breaths. Cold is steel biting at your throat in a wordless threat. Cold is when the dead rise again.

The Age-long Rivalry Between Pilots and Engineers | @cas-lost-grace Rating: Mature Word Count: 7786 Main Tags and Warnings: Alternate Universe - Science Fiction, Roommates, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Aliens, Spaceships, Engineer Castiel, Pilot Dean Winchester, First Kiss, Space Battles, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD Summary: Living on a space station isn’t easy. Especially when you share your quarters with someone like Castiel Novak.

Hot Men, Unmasked | @castielrisingabove Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 43195 Main Tags and Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, DC Comics, Nightwing, Red Hood, AU, implied past Meg/Cas Summary: Castiel’s a superhero who just wants to make his big break. When he stumbles upon an attractive anti-hero, he’s left with a choice: turn him in, or work together to solve a crime bigger than both of them.

It’s Affection | @funnywings Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 7711 Main Tags and Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Angst with a Happy Ending, AU, Enemies to Lovers Summary: After getting catfished by a federal agent, Dean is angry at the world and the world is angry right back at him. When one of Sam’s friends from Oxford comes to stay at Mary’s house, he’s determined to be as unpleasant as possible to the newcomer. However, being pissed at the world can only get you so far, and Dean finds in Castiel someone he can confide in truths he rarely likes to admit to himself.

Enemies Closer | @almaasi Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 5291 Main Tags and Warnings: Alternate Universe - Teachers, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Teacher Castiel, Openly Gay Castiel, Student Counsellor Dean Winchester, Openly Bisexual Dean, Nerd Dean Winchester, Middle School, Vandalism, A.V. Club | Audio-Visual Club, Children, Doctor Who References, First Dates, One Shot Summary: A “You caught me keying the wrong car in our middle-school parking lot, but when you found out my motivation you wanted to help me… except now we’re both complicit in the same crime, and we have the power to end each other’s teaching careers – and as they say, keep your friends close but your enemies closer – sooooo is a nerdy date at your after-school A.V. club close enough for you?” AU

Drop Anchor | @almaasi Rating: Explicit Word Count: 42124 Main Tags and Warnings: Alternate Universe, Historical, Romance, Fluff, No Angst, Pirate Castiel, Sailor Dean, Domestic, Settling Down, Desert Island, Hate to Love, Grumpy Castiel, Dominant Castiel, Gardener Castiel, Bi-Curious Dean, Bottom Dean, Shipwreck, Storms, Sharing a Bed, Masturbation, Touch-Starved, Hammock Sex, Cuddling, Tickling, Rimming, Virgin Dean, Epistolary Summary: AU. A sailor and an enemy pirate are marooned on an island together, and while awaiting rescue they accidentally achieve domestic bliss. Or: Dean Winchester is lieutenant of the Royal Trading Ship Echelon. On a pleasantly sunny but particularly catastrophic day, he is marooned on an island somewhere in the middle of the Pacific Ocean with only one man for company. That man is Castiel, captain of the black-sailed Leviathan: a pirate, no less. Given the circumstances under which they are stranded, rescue seems unlikely, and it could be aeons before a ship even comes by. The two of them may as well make the most of their own private island, personal differences be damned.

We’re the New Romantics | @almaasi Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 8138 Main Tags and Warnings: Alternative Universe - High School, Summer Camp, Hate to Love, Bullying, Dean Has a Crush on Castiel, Charlie Bradbury & Dean Winchester Friendship, Smart Dean, Fanboy Dean, Smart Castiel, Hipster Castiel, Punk Castiel, Pierced Castiel, Fanboy Castiel, Aromantic Castiel, Smart Charlie, Star Trek References, Holding Hands, Cuddling, First Kiss, Long-Distance Relationship Summary: “He’s so pretentious.” “Who is?” “Castiel.” Dean sneered as he said the name. “Look at him. He only brought one bag, and it’s tiny. And orange.” “Maybe he doesn’t like carrying a lot of stuff,” Charlie said, shouldering her own rainbow-coloured weekender bag, leading Dean out of the crowd and towards the picnic benches. “Gifted-and-Talented Summer Camp is only four days. A change of clothes and a toothbrush, that’s all most people need.” “What about when he sleeps? Doesn’t he at least need a pair of jammies? And that freaking nose ring. Seriously, he looks like a bull. I wonder if anyone’s ever told him.”

The Law of Fire (WIP) | @katekarnage7 Rating: Explicit Word Count: 42624 Main Tags and Warnings: Western AU, Mentions of Child Abuse, Torture, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Main Character Death. Summary: When Castiel was young there was a fire, a fire which caused much pain and grief for many, however, there was one shining light, one good thing that came from it; Castiel’s adopted little sister, Anna, who had been orphaned by the very same mysterious fire. A year went by, it was relatively happy for the Novaks, but just like all good things, it had to end… It ended when Castiel’s mother died, sending his father into a downward spiral, which left Castiel alone to take care of Anna. Eventually, they were found and raised by the Sheriff of a small town in Kansas. Years later Anna and Castiel would learn that the fire that took so much from both of them wasn’t an accident, it was arson, and that the man who had done it has a bounty on his head, a man by the name of Dean Winchester. They start their mission to track down this man who ruined their lives and the lives of many others, however, when they finally catch up to him, they learn that when it comes to Dean Winchester, there may be more than meets the eye.

Close Up and Personal | @sternchencas Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 19358 Main Tags and Warnings: paparazzi!Dean, celebrity!Cas, Cas with cats Summary: To help his brother Sam to pay for law school, Dean Winchester works as a paparazzi. His current target, award-winning author Jimmy Novak, is so camera shy that most people don’t even know what he looks like, unlike Dean, who finds out when he literally runs into the man. When Jimmy confronts him about ruining his life, Dean tries to change his ways, and in a sudden turn of events, he gets to unravel the secret that is Jimmy Novak, or better, Castiel.

one thousand and ninety-four days ‘verse (Series) | @envydean  Rating: Explicit Word Count: 8096 Main Tags and Warnings: Prison AU, inmate!dean, Inmate!castiel, Rough Sex, Mild Pain Kink, Come Marking, dubcon but mostly con, bottom!dean, top!cas, sassy!cas Summary: In which Dean and Cas are in prison. “Get in your bed.” “Make me.” He teases. Dean smirks, standing up and facing the man. Before Dean can even blink, the man is out of his bed and shoving Dean up against the wall with a deadly quietness.

[f4liveblogarchives]

Fantastic Four Vol 1 #201

Tues Aug 27 2019 [12:08 AM] Wack'd: So this is the last regular issue of 1978 [12:08 AM] Wack'd: There's also an annual. And also last year's annual because there's literally no room in 1977 or 1978 for it to have happened, so Marvel Wiki shoved it here [12:10 AM] Wack'd: We opened with us still being in Latveria! Okay, sure [12:10 AM] Wack'd: Definitely the outfit of a man who's planning on putting together some meaningful democratic elections

[12:11 AM] maxwellelvis: That hat looks familiar... [12:11 AM] Wack'd: But he confirms he is. He's real happy that political parties are forming and that there's "fighting and endless squabbling" because it means progress is happening [12:12 AM] Wack'd: Political parties never result in anything bad happening, ever, especially when they hate each other's guts [12:12 AM] Umbramatic: yes [12:12 AM] maxwellelvis: SupercalifragalisticexpielaWACKY! [12:13 AM] Wack'd: So the team returns to the Baxter Building, mostly because it's the only place in NY they can put the Pogo Plane [12:13 AM] Wack'd: Reed is still kinda iffy on reforming the team, which naturally everyone rolls their eyes at [12:14 AM] Wack'd: Collins is there to greet them! Good old Collins [12:15 AM] Wack'd: Even though the Four are a damn nuisance there's literally no one who wants to rent the Four's old headquarters, for fear of supervillain attacks, so he offers to let them back in..."for, ahem, a raise in the basic rent, of course, to make up for my losses" [12:15 AM] maxwellelvis: Yer a peach, Collins [12:15 AM] Wack'd: Ben is like "actually, fuck you, we want the rent lowered, a promise that the heat will stay on, and a promise of no solicitors" [12:16 AM] Wack'd: Collins...doesn't really have a choice unless he wants to keep losing money on like a sixth of the building [12:17 AM] maxwellelvis: Y'know, I think I'd take Mr. Ditkovich as my landlord over Collins. [12:17 AM] maxwellelvis: How about you guys? [12:17 AM] Wack'd: And so within the day contractors are on the scene to get the Four back in working order [12:17 AM] Wack'd: Just, uh, regular ol' contractors, apparently! Who are a little baffled by Reed's talk of "ion displacer cables" and "Negative Zone locking mechanisms" [12:18 AM] Wack'd: But they're doing their best [12:20 AM] Wack'd: Johnny maybe you're not having any luck on the dating scene lately because you're a misogynist

[12:21 AM] maxwellelvis: Frommage? Sue, I think you've been swindled. [12:21 AM] Wack'd: She means From Mage. It's a magic dress [12:21 AM] Wack'd: It's actually really impressive Johnny managed to set it on fire [12:22 AM] Wack'd: Hey hey! A good ol' fashioned Baxter cutaway. I've missed these.

[12:23 AM] Wack'd: And, for the first time, an acknowledgment that the building has two other walls on which rooms can be constructed [12:23 AM] maxwellelvis: Interesting that Ben's quarters are marked "when he's staying at the building" [12:23 AM] maxwellelvis: and also "Room X" [12:24 AM] maxwellelvis: Bet we're going in there soon. [12:24 AM] Wack'd: Ben and Alicia are living together, presumably. [12:24 AM] Wack'd: In siiiiiiin [12:24 AM] maxwellelvis: If it's good enough for Sweet Aunt Petunia, it's good enough for them, I guess. [12:24 AM] Wack'd: So, uh [12:24 AM] Wack'd: Franklin is now ten years old, assuming time is still moving [12:25 AM] maxwellelvis: You'd think that it is, and yet... [12:25 AM] Wack'd: He still has a crib. And a door that opens directly into his parents room [12:25 AM] Bocaj: Room X FROM OUTER SPACE [12:25 AM] Wack'd: But I think my favorite detail is--and I'll admit there's maybe no way to avoid this problem--there's a rocket launch pad right next to Franklin's room [12:26 AM] Bocaj: Amazing [12:26 AM] Wack'd: That kid is gonna have some sleepless nights [12:26 AM] maxwellelvis: Maybe that's how Comic Book Time gets you. It creeps in, in small doses at first, until you have something like that staring you in the face. [12:26 AM] Wack'd: I mean probably that makes a fuckton of noise wherever you put it but Franklin needs ten hours a night! He's a growing boy! [12:26 AM] Wack'd: Right next to his room is by far the worst option! [12:27 AM] Wack'd: Also, hey. No place for Agatha. So I guess we're done with her being a live-in nanny [12:27 AM] Wack'd: In fairness Franklin is back to having the regular presence of two parents. In theory [12:28 AM] Wack'd: So back to the story [12:29 AM] maxwellelvis: She might be living down the way at Avengers Mansion. [12:29 AM] Wack'd: Reed, the police exist to oppress minorities. And other superheroes...are probably fine, relatively, that's a good point. NYC is fucking packed

[12:30 AM] Wack'd: Anyway Reed is attacked by "Microbe 201-B" and now I want to see them try and shoehorn the issue number into every story somehow [12:31 AM] Wack'd: 201-B has grown a lot and escaped its test tube, baffling Reed [12:31 AM] Wack'd: This is probably why you don't hire normal contractors to set up a superscience lab [12:32 AM] Wack'd: Anyway 201-B eats Reed. Bye Reed [12:32 AM] maxwellelvis: Oh no, it's the Intruder! Everyone run! [12:33 AM] Wack'd: Ben and Sue are also attacked [12:33 AM] Wack'd: Ben by his own superscience exercise equipment and Sue by lasers and then a water main break [12:35 AM] Wack'd: Sue, honey, you spent 20 issues divorced and another ten with the team splitting up and got basically no character development. Being away from the team does not guarantee you an interesting arc

[12:36 AM] Wack'd: Johnny is also attacked. But also these are his thoughts so something big is coming, maybe, possibly.

[12:36 AM] Wack'd: Johnny is attacked by fire extinguisher foam because of course he is [12:37 AM] Wack'd: But he manages to escape by flying outside the building and manages to rescue Ben and Sue [12:37 AM] Wack'd: Sue who, I'll remind you, was attacked by a burst pipe [12:37 AM] Wack'd: And is unconscious in a pool of water when they find her [12:38 AM] Wack'd: Reed has escaped from being ate off-panel and is now instructing Johnny to go shut down the main power core [12:39 AM] Wack'd: Johnny is immediately taken out by some gas traps because obviously the main power core is booby-trapped, c'mon [12:40 AM] Wack'd: So Sue goes in after him and manages to stop all the traps with her force field. There's a sequence code to turn off the main power core that if you get it wrong it explodes, because sure [12:40 AM] Wack'd: The obvious solution is to put in the wrong code on purpose and then contain the explosion with a force field so she does that [12:40 AM] Bocaj: This is why you more carefully choose contractors [12:41 AM] Wack'd: If that's the moral of the issue I will be mildly shocked [12:41 AM] Wack'd: I totally believe any given Marvel writer would have a bad experience getting their home fixed and then write a mean-spirited story about it [12:42 AM] Wack'd: So Reed goes over the computer and finds no problems but is gonna call Tony Stark to look them over [12:42 AM] Bocaj: I like the guy but Tony Stark is the last person you should call about a computer malfunction [12:42 AM] Wack'd: Tony Stark: the best at knowing when machines have turned evil [12:42 AM] Bocaj: His whole life is a computer malfunction [12:43 AM] Bocaj: You'd think it would give him expertise but consider also that it keeps happening and never stops from happening [12:43 AM] Wack'd:

[12:43 AM] Wack'd: A few things to note here: [12:44 AM] Wack'd: 1. Yes, those were Ben's exact words. Which means Ben was making fun of "with great power comes great responsibility" like half a year before it was a thing. [12:44 AM] Wack'd: Anyone who doesn't like when Marvel gets self-deprecating or too meta can shove it [12:45 AM] Wack'd: 2. This is still a hilariously simple rationale for getting the team back together, especially since it has nothing to do with why the team split up and only addresses concerns that were first raised this very issue [12:46 AM] Wack'd: 3. Steve Martin was presumably real big in 1978 [12:46 AM] maxwellelvis: He was, actually [12:47 AM] Wack'd: 4. "The Osmond family" is still a metanym for wholesome togetherness. I don't think I need to tell any of you that's not gonna last very long, which is fine, because the Four aren't a very "wholesome togetherness" kinda group anyway [12:47 AM] Bocaj: They get more wholesomeishesque as time goes on [12:48 AM] Bocaj: At least they have a very dangerous edge in the early stuff [12:48 AM] maxwellelvis: The late 1970's is exactly when Steve Martin was at his peak, at least strictly as a comedian [12:48 AM] Wack'd: It's weird when rosy memories of a thing retroactively whitewash their sharper edges. Happened with Jiminy Cricket and Kermit the Frog something fierce [12:49 AM] maxwellelvis: Oh yeah, I remember Jiminy Cricket being surprisingly horny. [12:49 AM] Bocaj: wut [12:49 AM] Wack'd: He's also kind of a snarky asshole, too [12:49 AM] maxwellelvis: Especially to that rotten Lampwick kid. [12:49 AM] Wack'd: Most of his moralizing at Pinocchio takes the form of yelling or lectures or just making fun of him [12:50 AM] maxwellelvis: He HATED that boy. Not Pinocchio, Lampwick. [12:50 AM] Wack'd: Anyway I think the Four are mostly wholesome by comparison? Like Bart Simpson. They're never gonna be flawless role models but as time goes on and you can depict more bad stuff they slowly slide towards the acceptable end of edginess [12:51 AM] Wack'd: Like, they're closer to Mickey Mouse than Deadpool but mostly because Deadpool is waaaaay out in the deep end [12:51 AM] KarkatTheDalek: Bart isn't that wholesome [12:51 AM] Wack'd: Yeah but compared to. I dunno. Stewie Griffin. Which is a real comparison Family Guy spent like an hour making that one time. Also Cartman which is something South Park also got into [12:51 AM] maxwellelvis: He isn't the iconoclast he was in 1989 anymore either, Karkat [12:52 AM] Wack'd: Edgy cartoons love making fun of how mundane Bart's troublemaking is [12:52 AM] KarkatTheDalek: That is true [12:52 AM] Bocaj: It has the same energy as Spawn declaring that "Only SISSIES change their costumes in a phone booth" [12:53 AM] Bocaj: It immediately fills me with disdain towards the property trying to be so edgy in comparison [12:53 AM] KarkatTheDalek: But I do recall an episode where they were at the dentist, and Bart saw Skinner loopy on the laughing gas, so he went in, pretended to be the dentist, then practically beat the shit out of him before pointing the x-ray machine directly at his balls [12:53 AM] Wack'd: We're getting off track [12:53 AM] KarkatTheDalek: Probably, yes

[franzbiblio]

Where in the comics are Professor X and Magneto?

So it occurs to me that those not up-to-date with comics might be interested in a "where are they now?" for Professor X and Magneto, especially if you might be interested in jumping into the breach with this new launch of House of X/Power of X making it a bit easier than usual to jump into the insanity that is comics in general and X-Men comics in particular.

The short answer is that there isn't really a status quo established for this particular era of X-Men as of yet and as for Magneto and Charles Xavier's potential place in the coming status quo, I can't even really predict, which is both exciting and terrifying if I'm being honest.

Magneto:

I will start with Magneto who is a little more complicated to explain how he got where he is, but I do at least have a vague notion of the general trajectory we might be seeing from him in the next several months:

Until recently Magneto has spent most of his time running about being an anti-hero type from leading a distinctly shady team of the X-men in Uncanny X-Men (2016) #1-19, until Psylocke (Betsy Braddock) decided that he had been too shady and stabbed him and apparently killed him.

This being comics means that he got better immediately, but decided to not make this fact known and instead served as the secret mentor for the teenage time-displaced original five X-men in the pages of X-Men: Blue (2017) #1-28, that is until during the arc during issues #23-28 (collected in the X-Men trade titled Cry Havok) when Magneto is shown disillusioned with trying to be hero because his teenaged wards had run off into space (let the record show this is not the first time that Magneto has been driven back to villainy because his wards have a predilection for running off to space without so much as leaving a note) during a huge international crisis leaving Magneto to pick up the pieces in the only way he knows: being shady. This is then exacerbated when at the end of the arc Magneto is forced to kill brainwashed mutants he was attempting to save, fleeing to the future (there was a time machine in the basement… let’s not go into it) where he learned that him being an asshole is the only way the future will be saved, he then returns to the present seeking revenge on Emma Frost who was complicit in the whole brainwashing mutants thing. The original five X-Men freshly back from space objected to this whole killing Emma Frost thing and Magneto and the original five make their formal break in X-Men: Blue (2017) #31.

We are then shown Magneto fully returning to villainy with the destruction of a research facility, killing all the scientists inside, but because this is Magneto there are sympathetic "trying to prevent the future destruction of mutantkind" motivations behind this, but still kind of a dick move. He is then shown with a new Brotherhood of Mutants on a new Asteroid M (you know the secret asteroid base he has because he is not a dramatic bitch at all) setting him up clearly as a future threat for the X-Men.

Then Uncanny X-Men relaunched with an event called X-Men Disassembled that spanned Uncanny X-Men (2018) #1-10 where Magneto appeared as the brainwashed, bearded minion of Jean Grey's sort of alternate universe son who is now a reality warping messiah figure, Nate Grey AKA X-Man. While Magneto shakes off the brainwashing in Uncanny X-Men #10, joining the X-Men in attacking said reality warping messiah, he, along with every other mutant present, end up sucked into some kind of pocket dimension/alternate universe (it's a little unclear at the moment what exactly it is) and the results of this is being explored in the crossover event Age of X-Man. Magneto specifically is a principal character in the Marvelous X-Men (2019) #1-5 miniseries, which depicts Magneto as a part of the X-Men team in this alternate universe utopia with no memories of the regular universe. He has a half cape with a fluff and is pretty dapper, so I'm a fan. The last few issues have shown him along with the rest of the cast beginning to have flashbacks of the other universe and begin to doubt the Utopia.

This miniseries will be running until sometime in June where we can only assume that all the mutants currently trapped in the pocket dimension will return to the regular universe with their restored memories. It's impossible to know what the exact fallout of this will be.

It seems unlikely to me that Magneto would go back to being an ally of the X-Men after all the build-up to making him a proper "villain" again. They released a whole series dedicated to X-Men "villains" one-shots called X-Men: Black and there was a Magneto issue and the cover of Uncanny X-Men #13 that came out in March sorted Magneto along with other X-Men villains like Sinister, Apocalypse, and Cassandra Nova.

Most likely Magneto coming out of Age of X-Man will go back to being a “villain”, though whether future writers will necessarily follow-up on the story threads that were left dangling by the end of X-Men: Blue, I can only speculate.

For Charles Xavier:

So, Charles is a little easier to explain insofar as he was dead for a lot of the past decade of comics.

For those unaware during the Avengers v. X-Men crossover event back in 2012, Charles Xavier died at the hands of one of his oldest students and son-guy-figure, Scott Summers, in Scott's defense he was possessed by the phoenix force at the time and felt really, really bad about it after (like not bad enough to stop being part of the rad mutant rebelz, but you know, bad).

From thereon Charles would only appear in a limited capacity as some kind of ghost or psychic shadow or whatever you want to call it. Most prominently Red Skull would grave rob his brain and use it to manipulate the world in Uncanny Avengers (2012) eventually leading to the crossover event AXIS.

He'd also pop up as a spirit in heaven alongside Kurt Wagner in Amazing X-Men (2013) #2 and #5 and Charles's son David Haller would spend the majority of X-Men Legacy (2012) fighting against a malicious psychic entity that looked like Charles Xavier but is actually more of a manifestation of David's hatred... or something (the actual details are kept purposely vague).

It's not until Astonishing X-Men (2017) does the actual Charles Xavier appear and even then it's ambiguous until basically the end of the series whether it is really Charles Xavier back (it... mostly is) but in #7 he rejects being called Professor X, saying it doesn't feel right (I mean he's thirty, has hair and is drawn by Phil Noto, it makes a person feel different) and instead adopted the moniker X. At the end of the arc in Astonishing X-Men (2017) #12, Charles forgoes returning to the X-Men, claiming that Kitty was doing fine without him and then wipes everyone's mind who had been involved in the matter except Psylocke (Betsy Braddock), asking her to keep an eye on him and stop him if he's being too shady (sound familiar?) and then just vaguely refers to his "new dream".

Our next and as of writing last time seeing resurrected Charles is in Astonishing X-Men (2017) Annual #1 written by Matthew Rosenberg. It's a standalone story where the four of five original X-Men (Scott wasn't there because he was busy being dead or effectively dead at the time, I mean he was a student of Charles Xavier, he learned from the best) meet up and have a bitchfest about their fucked up lives. This is interrupted by Charles just strolling in, not explaining how he got back, stealing their wine and sort of apologizing for involving them in traumatizing superhero shenanigans.

He then promptly takes them out for some family bonding through more traumatic superhero shenanigans that ends with a warehouse full of people dead. It's capped off with Charles mind-wiping them, but they then get to have a do-over reunion dinner where they show that they can appreciate what they've accomplished instead of dwelling on missed opportunities, which I interpret as Charles's messed up apology to them, which is kind of sweet while being really messed up. Which I think is kind of what this take on Xavier is going for. He was trapped in the astral plane with the Shadow King for effectively centuries so I guess strange coping mechanisms are to be expected.

So with Cyclops back from the dead in Uncanny X-Men (2019) #11, it seems that some kind of reunion between the two is inevitable and it's more of a question of when, under what circumstances and will Scott get to remember it even happened after? With Legion (David Haller) being a part of how Nate Grey was able to suck everyone into Age of X-Man, I wouldn't be surprised if Xavier plays some key role in getting the X-Men back from the Age of X-Men. I really doubt that Xavier will blame Cyclops for the whole killing him dead with cosmic fire thing, but other than that I can't say.

The Charles Xavier we are getting is definitely a darker take on the character who is more comfortable with taking extreme measures, but how exactly this plays into what his "new dream" is remains to be seen. I definitely don't want Xavier to get too much exposure, he really works best right now as an enigma doing his own thing, with the Astonishing X-Men Annual playing this up to good effect with Charles being used sparingly but completely stealing the scene when he does appear. Since Rosenburg that wrote the Annual and is now writing Uncanny X-Men I'm feeling slightly optimistic, though I can't help but be worried that since things established in Astonishing (like Warren being in control of his Archangel persona) was ignored by later writers.

In a previous X-Men Monday on Adventures in Poor Taste (http://www.adventuresinpoortaste.com/2019/03/04/x-men-monday-featuring-jordan-d-white-2-nightcrawlers-soul-sacrificial-goats-and-weezer/) senior editor in charge of the X-Men line at Marvel, Jordan White mentioned that Professor X will be back and play an important role in the future of the line and included an image of X, but absolutely no more context on what his role might be. So at least he doesn't seem lost in limbo.

In the back of my head I can't help but vaguely hope that since this Xavier is darker and seems to be cleaning up loose ends in secret that might threaten his students that we could see him joining up in some capacity with newly villainous Magneto since we've had Magneto join Xavier's side several times but never seen the reverse. That could at least be novel, but at the same time I can't really see Charles fighting against his old students even if he thought it was in their best interest as we saw in his emotional breakdown during Avengers v. X-Men.

From what we’ve seen of the promo materials from House of X/Powers of X, I kind of doubt that direction, Hickman has been making vague references to X trying to take the X-Men in a new direction, I guess that “new dream” vaguely referred to at the end of Astonishing.

All of this being a long-winded 1.5k way to say: we'll have to wait and see.  

[theheavymetalmama]

And now, some Unpopular Opinions!

Because at this point, why the hell not?

Iron Man was better than The Dark Knight

I am in no way, shape, or form suggesting that The Dark Knight is a bad movie. Far from it, in fact. It’s a damn good movie with some fantastic performances, a gripping story, and some of the best written characters and dialogue in the history of movie making. So is Iron Man the better movie? For one, it’s not so stuck up its’ own ass about its’ message. The Dark Knight is a lot of things and one of them is pretentious as fuck, come off as less of a love letter to Batman and more of a method of the director Chris Nolan showing how much he has nothing but contempt for superheroes and comic books in general. Iron Man, in contrast, embraces it and has fun with the idea of a guy who builds a mech suit and fights bad guys. There’s also the question of influence, and that right there is no contest. The Dark Knight influenced Batman; Iron Man influenced the entire movie industry.

Final Fantasy XV was a massive disappointment

I kind of feel bad for dunking on this game considering they just cancelled the last of the DLC. Then again the last of the DLC was going to expand on Lady “Show Up and Blow Up” Lunafreya and Aranea “I’m here and now I’m not” Highwind’s stories and now we’re not getting them and I’m still bitter as fuck for the director’s pathetic excuse for why a girl couldn’t attend the coming of age road trip, so all bet’s are off! Okay, the ladies getting shafted aside, there is a lot to like about Final Fantasy XV, but was it worth the tedious development time? No way in hell. The game looks good but like many open world games feels mostly lifeless and empty, and of the four main characters only one of them is likable and isn’t even playable in the game’s vanilla form. The story is a broken mess that requires other forms of media to fully grasp (dick fucking move there, Squeenix) and the summons coming at random times serves as more of an annoyance than anything, especially since they always seem to show up except during times when and where they’d be useful. It also doesn’t say good things about a company’s management when a game can sell millions of copies in record time as well as do gangbusters on downloadable content and then still manage to lose over 30 million dollars.

And for the record, let it be known that Noctis is far and away the whiniest and most emo protagonist in Final Fantasy history, which is saying something considering this is a series where one such protagonist’s entire character is being so jaded and world weary to the point that his name is the sound a crying baby makes, and he doesn’t whine and complain as much as Noctis does.

Just because you’re a cop or a soldier, that doesn’t automatically make you a good person

I’m in favor of police and law enforcement and even though I believe our military budget makes Caligula himself look frugal in comparison I do support our troops. Having said that, being a cop or a trooper doesn’t mean jack shit if the person under the uniform is a complete and utter scumbag, which happens more often than many care to admit. In fact some people, many people, become cops and soldiers not to protect and serve or out of a sense of honor and duty, but simply because they like making others miserable and want to do it for a living. There’s a reason songs about fighting the law and unflattering depictions of authority figures date back as far as authority figures have been a thing. Respect is earned, not given.

‘White Nationalist’ and ‘Nazi’ are the same things

Calling a Nazi a white nationalist is like calling somebody who abuses their spouse a rough lover. Stop beating around the bush and tell it like it is. Also, don’t debate Nazis, punch them. Punch them as hard as you fucking can. If they punch you back, punch them again, and again, and again until they either run away (which most of them do) or stop moving. Trust me, nobody is going to miss them. That goes double for the alt right. Oh, and speaking of which...

Far Cry 5 chickened out

As somebody who grew up in a dead gold mining community that was mostly Catholic, when the first trailer for Far Cry 5 came out I was stoked as hell for the chance to gun down religious fanatics and skinheads in a place in rural America that didn’t look all that different. Then the game came out and it was abundantly clear to anybody that something somewhere in the game was changed at the last minute. Some have argued that it was their intention from the get go, others claimed they didn’t want to alienate their core demographic. It doesn’t say nice things about your core demographic if you’re worried about depictions of white supremacist cultists scaring them away, but okay, fine. Then make a game that takes place during the decline of the Ku Klux Klan, or in a post World War II Europe where you hunt Nazi war criminals, or failing that make something akin to Black Dynamite or a wacky 70′s Kung Fu movie where everything is purposefully over the top and exaggerated, I don’t care! All your other games have you gunning down hordes of brown people, let people like me and my husband kill some skinheads god damn it!

If you still support Donald Trump after all the vile and abhorrent things he’s done, you’re a bad person

There’s no beating around the bush on this one. I don’t blame people who were swooned by this conman thinking he’d genuinely make a good president and have since regretted their decision. I have nothing but sympathy for them. No, I’m talking about the people who STILL trip over themselves to defend this vile, homophobic, delusions, misogynist, narcissistic bigot. Like when he called Nazis “very fine people,” or is still pushing for a stupid wall along our border that will be bested by two extension ladders and a pair of tin snips. The travel ban, the rollback on regulations that kept food insecure people fed, kids dying in his fucking concentration camps, yeah, no. He’s a treasonous scumbag who deserves to be locked in an 8x8 cell until he rots, and if you still support him then you can claim the top bunk.

Climate change is real and coal can fuck off

Coal is dead. Let it lay down and rot. What, coal is your only source of income in the area you live in? Then move somewhere else! You think I would have left my hometown if there were any opportunities other than timber, fishing, and tourist traps? Sorry, but the longer we stay in the past with coal the lesser we can look forward to a future where a planet can sustain human life. If we want our planet to live then coal needs to die.

No, the left isn’t “just as bad” as the right

This is a fucking gas lighting farce that immediately falls apart when put under scrutiny. Are there extremists and crazies on the left? Of course there are, but they’re entirely different beasts as those found on the right. The left is more of a “eat enough kale and you can talk to dolphins” or “sleep with crystals under your bed and you can see the future” kinds of crazy, whereas the right is more of the “kill all the queers and let the brown babies starve” kind of crazy. Oh, and to each and every single person who said “Clinton is just as bad as Trump,” y’all can cover your reproductive organs in honey and stick them in a mason jar filled with live bullet ants and tarantula hawks, you ignorant scare mongering shitheels!

“Captain Marvel doesn’t smile!”

So what? She’s a space Navy Seal, not a boy scout like Captain America or Superman; she’s not supposed to smile.

No, the ‘alt left’ doesn’t exist and Antifa aren’t the same as Nazis

Are Antifa breaking the law? Yes. Should they be held accountable for their actions? Yes. Are people who want to kill Nazis exactly the same as people who want to exterminate the Jews and subjugate anybody who isn’t white while wiping other people’s culture off the face of the Earth under an authoritarian rule? Hell to the no and “Antifa is just as bad as the Nazis” is right up there with “Vaccinations cause autism” and “the Earth is flat” on the scale of “If you believe this, you are STUPID.” If Nazis and white supremacists went unopposed they’d go around raping and murdering Jews and non whites until there were absolutely none of them left. You know Antifa would be doing if there weren’t any Nazis around? Sitting in their crappy apartments smoking weed, sipping craft beer, eating pizza, and laughing their asses off at 20 year old Saturday Night Live skits. Ooooooh, scary! Yes, Antifa are assaulting people and destroying public property and yes they should be held accountable for their actions. But I’m not going to pretend, even hypothetically, that Nazi apologist scumbags like Tucker Carlson having his door banged on or actual Nazis like Richard Spencer getting punched in the face is on the same playing field as babies being put in cages, innocent black people being murdered by cops, or Jews being put into ovens, you fucks!

New She Ra is better than Old She Ra and 80′s cartoons in general

If you don’t like the new She Ra and prefer the old one, fine, you do you, but don’t act like the original is “So much better” because it isn’t at all. The villains were jokes, the animation was beyond cheap, the characters all looked the same, there were stupid talking animal sidekicks, and the story went nowhere really fucking fast outside of “Bad guys are doing bad guy stuff, our heroes must stop them” because they were commercials to sell toys. Nothing more, nothing less. If the new She Ra isn’t your bag then that’s all well and good, but don’t be a stupid asshole about it, talking about how it wasn’t featured at PowerCon like it’s a big fucking deal when only sad dorks like us give a shit about conventions, or whine about how you’re being oppressed and censored because a 16 year old isn’t rocking 44DD’s, or talk about “CalArts style” like that’s a real goddamn thing. Oh yeah, and speaking of which...

“CalArts style” is not a thing

Shut the fuck up, no it isn’t. It’s a stupid, meaningless buzzword hurled at people who never fucking went to CalArts in the first place. If you’re perplexed as to why modern cartoons all look like Steven Universe, the simple fact is that cartoons are made predominantly for children and shows are made to be aesthetically pleasing to them. With shows like Adventure Time, Regular Show, Steven Universe, Star vs the Forces of Evil, and Gravity Falls being soaring success stories while shows like Young Justice, new GI Joe, and 2011 Thundercats ambitious failures, it’s obvious that formal abstractionist non angularity is in while aspirational human physical fitness is out, and a big reason the latter was even a thing in the first place is because they were toy commercials first and there were only so many variations on plastic molds to form the fucking action figures and because it was the 80′s and Arnold was the biggest star at the time.

“Star Wars: the Last Jedi” is a good movie and fanboys can eat bantha poodoo

I’ve heard all the reasons for why The Last Jedi is a bad movie and they’re all either stupid nitpicky bullshit or meaningless fanboy gripes. I could write an entire essay debunking those reasons point for point, like how the reason Holdo didn’t tell Poe a damn thing because no admiral would ever a tell a lowly grunt anything about their plan, especially after being demoted for being a hotheaded little fuckup. Or that Rey being related to Obi Wan or any previous Star Wars character didn’t happen because that would have been stupid and the definition of predictable. Or that the reason Akbar didn’t do the suicide run is because he’s a meme that the general audience doesn’t give a shit about and that there’s no way in Hell that the Mouse would allow a character named “Akbar” to do a suicide run. Or that Kylo Ren not being an intimidating villain is the whole point and that you’re supposed to hate him because he’s a petulant Darth Vader wannabe and a snake to boot. Or that the effectiveness of said suicide run, where Snoke came from, or the state of the Resistance by the end of the movie, or that any other so called ‘plot hole’ doesn’t matter because this is a movie about space wizards for children and paying obsessive attention to meaningless and pedantic details is exactly how we end up with stupid subplots in the Beauty and the Beast remake and Metropolis and Gotham City being across the river from each other! But the biggest one is Luke wasn’t portrayed as some Jedi Clint Eastwood (why fanboys want that eludes me; the EU did that a few times and they were all terrible) and that him exiling himself doesn’t make any sense.

Sorry, but no, Luke running off to a far and unreachable island makes perfect sense. For one, it’s kind of a thing that disgraced Jedi do, and for two, Star Wars is a fairy tale in space. All of the characters draw inspiration from characters and archetypes from fairy tales and fables of old, and the one Luke Skywalker resembles most (largely by design) is King Arthur. Think about it. Common boy who doesn’t know who his real parents are, meets an old wizard, gets a legendary sword, discovers he’s of noble lineage, tags along with a few colorful characters, goes on a quest that’s bigger than him and the life he knew, hits a few bumps down the road, and then eventually he saves the kingdom by overthrowing his father who once was a great man and a hero but gave in to power and corruption and became a dark reflection of his former self.

You will never unsee that. 

Oh yeah, and remember how things turned out for King Arthur in the end? He started a whole new kingdom, he had a few good years, he grew arrogant, things started to fall apart, and suddenly he and everything he worked to build up were undone overnight by a younger, more vindictive relative. Disgraced, Arthur was whisked away to an unreachable island deep rooted in his own legend and mythology where he remained until Britain had fallen to darkness and needed him again. Now of course Britain as we know it has yet to see such a thing (we’ll see how Brexit turns out) but Luke did exactly that. And no, sorry fanboys, but The Last Jedi wasn’t a failure in any sense of the word. It grossed over a billion dollars, received critical praise, the DVDs and BluRays sold like hotcakes, and was adored by kids, teenagers, and young adults, the primary audience that Star Wars is for in the first place. And I don’t give a shit what the audience score on RT says, because for one aggregate sites are a blight on film criticism and we went from this;

“Batman v Superman and Suicide Squad are AMAZING, Rotten Tomatoes is biased and paid off by Disney!”

To this...

“Star Wars: the Last Jedi is TERRIBLE, Rotten Tomatoes says so!”

In just over a year. To say nothing of the fact that what you’re currently saying about The Last Jedi was also said about The Empire Strikes, and like ‘Empire’ twenty years from now people will look back on the fanboy outrage and say “Wow, what a bunch of babies.” And before the inevitable response...

“But Solo bombed because of The Last Jedi!” 

Nooooo, Solo bombed because it came out right between Infinity War and Deadpool 2, was rife with development issues since day one of production, it was aimed overwhelmingly at fanboys obsessed with Star Wars deep lore answering questions that the general audience doesn’t give a shit about, nobody was even interested in the thing until the Lego Movie guys were signed on for a hot second, moviegoers aren’t currently hurting for cocky space cowboys...

...and because of the simple fact that it’s a solo movie about Han Solo...and it’s not 1995 and Harrison Ford isn’t in it. See, fanboys don’t realize that just because nerd and geek bullshit is mainstream now doesn’t mean that everyone is now a fanboy deep rooted in everything from where the characters are from to where they’re going, because when people say “I love Star Wars and Han Solo is my favorite character” what the vast majority of them mean is “Those movies with the space wizards and the laser swords are a lot of fun and Harrison Ford is a great movie star.” That’s it. That’s extent of why people like Han Solo. Sad dorks like us may care about stuff like where and when he got the Falcon, how he met Chewie, where the dice came from and all of that and more, but the general audience just wants to see Harrison Ford do cool shit in space. That’s it. To say nothing of the fact that nobody was even interested in the spinoffs in the first place. When Disney announced that they were making episodes 7,8, and 9 everyone went “Oh Hell yes, sign me up!” Then when they followed up with that they were also making spinoff movies about stuff that happened off screen or between movies the same audience was like “Oh...well that’s neat, I guess.”

And no, that stupid fanboy boycott had nothing to do with. Even the dude who started that petition to strike TLJ from canon admitted that he was in a bad place and that he was being stupid and angry, and I can promise you that all the shrieking dorks on Youtube are the buzzing of flies to Disney. If that crowd had any box office and movie making decision influence whatsoever, the next spinoff we’d see a trailer for would be “My Twi’lek Waifu: a Star Wars Story.”

PewDiePie is the worst thing to happen to video games this side of the gaming crash of 83 and he needs to fuck off

Yes, you read that right, and I don’t say that lightly. All sorts of terrible things have happened in the gaming industry since the gaming crash of 83. The console wars, the Atari Jaguar, the Philips CDi, Jack Thompson, the death of the Dreamcast, WoW, an entire console generation packed to the gills with homogenous gray and brown shooters with protagonists who all looked the fucking same, GamerGate, microtransactions, DLC abuse, the death of Maxis, an increasingly toxic fandom, “women are too hard to animate,” the degradation of E3 from a showcase of the biggest and bestest in gaming to a corporately sponsored circlejerk of self congratulatory backslapping and so much, much more.

I don’t care how much PewDiePie gives to charity, or how many fans he has, or how many people think he’s just the greatest, because he’s not. He’s an embarrassing, stupid asshole who constantly gets busted for making stupid racist jokes and by extension making his fans and everyone who has even the vaguest ties to the word ‘gamer’ look like stupid, racist assholes. He’s a corporate ass sucking apologist who gives exposure to anti Semites and racist wastes of space to his audience of mostly 10 to 15 year old boys, and he’s more terminally obnoxious than an Adderall addicted Pomeranian. 

The day he posted his first video of him overreacting to a jump scare while making loud screeching noises on top of edgy rape jokes was the day the progress of “gaming as an art form” was shot between the eyes, placed in a box that was then filled with concrete, and thrown into the ocean. He’s a dumbass man child that’s making all of us look bad and he needs to take his millions worth of corporate sponsorships and fuck off forever into some dark, lonely corner of the Internet where he’ll never be seen or heard from again until an inevitable meltdown that lands him on an episode of Down the Rabbit Hole.

And that concludes this post. I’ll give my final thoughts tomorrow, and on Saturday I’m closing this account forever.

[deyageka]

Spider-Man FFH review/ramble??¿? Spoilers

This is out of order so get ready to anyone who dares (also sry if I’ve repeated smthing someone said already But this is me going off on a tangent):

I liked how they handled the romance with Peter and MJ. I’m not much of a Spideychelle fan in general but even a casual fan can agree that their relationship is adorable in this one. I did wish that they developed them more in Homecoming and how Peter suddenly got a crush on MJ (cuz tbh it wasn’t fair for Liz to just be up and forgotten). But overall, I didn’t mind their romance and would prbly start shipping them in the future.

I also liked Michelle’s character here more. In Homecoming I just felt like Zendaya was just playing herself and was more of a guest star there. I wasn’t really hooked on her character. But in this movie they made her charming in an awkward way, and also pretty badass. I’m glad they didn’t go with the damsel in distress route with her character. I can’t wait to see what they do with her in the next movie.

Also Ned and Betty’s relationship was hilarious and adorable. They were the best couple in my opinion even tho they broke up in the end :P I hope they’ll remain good friends.

The Happy and May romance was cute too even tho it felt like a crack ship. Happy “I’m in love with Spider-Man’s Aunt” Hogan. Honestly, same.

I liked how they handled the sort of love triangle thing going on between Peter, MJ, and Brad. While I would’ve liked to do without that, I appreciated how MJ had her focus on Peter instead of a will they won’t they flirting thing with Brad. They didn’t stretch it out too far. (We’ve already seen the whole love scenarios with MJ in the OG movies, no need to add unnecessary romantic subplots).

Speaking of Brad. What a poor guy, but an asshole. I didn’t like him since his only purpose was to be Peter’s love rival for MJ. Sorry Brad.

Thing is unlike Brad I never really had a problem with Flash. A lot of people in fanon like to depict him as a one dimensional bully (which to me tbh is an overdone trope), but even as far back as Hoco, Flash always seemed to be more of a douchebag who was a little annoyance in Peter’s life. His scenes are pretty comedic and I’m here for him being the #1 ultimate Spidey fanboy. I felt sorry for him when his parents didn’t show up. His character in some aspects has some relatability to him as well.

Anyways, also May was dusted???? I thought she survived the snap, but apparently she didn’t??

And Happy got dusted too???

Kinda sad that Pepper didn’t show up, but it was very generous of her to send that big check

Happy was the MVP there, I’m so happy (lol get it) that he and Peter hav a close familial relationship now and that Happy is looking out for Peter on his own accord. They’ve come so far compared to their relationship in Hoco. Honestly that jet scene was one of the best and most emotional scene out of the movie I almost cried. AND PETER REMINDS HAPPY OF TONY I AM JUSTASHLLJWFJL—that broke me.

Btw that tribute in the beginning was a true piece of art👌🏽👌🏽👌🏽

Also is Steve dead now??? Or did he just hav Sam and Bucky tell everyone he is dead instead of being really old??

The action scenes 😖👌🏽❤️❤️💯‼️💵💰❤️

ESPECIALLY SPIDER-MAN WIELDING THAT SHIELD LIKE HE’S CAPTAIN AMERICA B R O

Can we appreciate how badass Peter was??? CUZ HE WAS FREAKIN BADASS

WHEN HE CAUGHT THE GUN HOLY SHI—

Also THAT scene with Mysterio, Peter and the illusions. It was beautiful but horrifying

TWO WORDS: ZOMBIE IRONMAN

WHY THE FUCK DID THEY THINK THAT WAS OK HGNGNGG

I got a mini heart attack when Peter got run over by that train I’m just im crying my poor boi

When Nick Fury was yelling at Peter, making him feel incompetent, look,,, i was ready to throw my hands and fight, Peter is more of a superhero than u ever could be motherfuccing BITHC

Also I never trusted Mysterio >:|

N E V E R

But the end tho can I just *throws myself out the window*

BITCH WAT THE FUCK

WAT THE FUCK

YOU CANT DO THAT.

•   NO 

but eyyy J. K Simmons back playing J. Jonah Jameson holy shi—

• BITCH WAT THE FUCK

You. Can’t. Just. Out. His. Identity. Like. That.

After that little tease scene beforehand with May, Peter and Happy

WHY WOULD YOU—

Hooooooo I hate you. I hate you so much hmmmmmmhmhm.

it’s just,,, Peter has been through so much already,,,I just wanted him to be ok,,, but he’s not ok,,,*breaks down crying*

So apparently Nick Fury and Maria Hill are Skrulls???? And the real Nick Fury is commanding a Skrull ship??? Wtf how long????

Overall I thought I’d be able to get some closure with Spider-Man: FFH and maybe relax but Marvel’s like NOP

I’m gonna have to wait another year or two for the next movie oh boy.

TLDR I’m gonna die. 4.3/5 (idk I’m not a movie critic)

PS. WHERE THE FUCK WAS KAREN???

YOU HAD EDITH AND U COULDVE HAD KAREN INFILTRATE EDITH WHILE EDITH WAS UNDER MYSTERIO’s POSESSION OR WATEVER

I just,,, i miss Karen.

[lesterlatte]

In the Dawn of Danger (Chapter 1)

Fandom: Henry Danger

Chapter: 1

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18661309/chapters/44255260

Words: 1138

Warnings: Swearing (more may be added later)

Here we are lads, Chapter one of my first ever Multi-part Henry Danger fic! It’s also my first piece of angsty ish writing for the fandom so its all completely new to me. Angst seems to be the fandom’s new obsession and I’m honestly loving it haha

I hope I am able to actually finish this entire fic and not nope out halfway through.

Tags: (don’t feel pressured to read this! I just want to show some appreciation to this amazing fandom) I feel like Niah needs a specific S/O here bc shes the reason I actually came through and made the final decision to start this because of her replies to my posts about it. Ilysm girl! Also wanna tag ya’ll for being the best ily all <3 @up-the-tube @bijerbear @xanderdewitt @max-thunderman @ciara-knightly @youngbloodthekilljoy (if you want to be tagged in updates lmk and I’ll add you~)

“Watch out Captain Man and Kid Danger. I’m coming for you and your precious little town and you’ll just have to sit and watch as I destroy everything and everyone you love...

Dawn is coming...”

Henry knew, as soon as the video message ended, that they were all fucked. Even though Ray was indestructible he knew deep down that would not be enough to keep them all safe if this person meant every word they said.

In the time Henry had been Kid Danger he had never felt true dread from the job but somehow this villain, dressed up in an abyss of black material which covered their face rendering them unrecognisable, had an aura of pure evil and Henry didn't like it one bit.

He closed his eyes, a hand roughly brushing through his hair through pure habit, and turned towards everyone else. Ray was still hyper fixated on the screen, not even sparing a glance from it. It was clear that even he couldn't figure out what to do as if he had never had something of this sense of urgency. Of course all crimes were urgent but this? This was far more than your regular robbery or petty crime. This could and probably would end up being a life or death situation if they didn't act fast.

Turning around Henry saw Charlotte and Jasper sitting on the couch, just blankly staring at each other, a mix of fear and worry painted on their features. Of course they had never even thought about this possibility, well not as much as he had anyway. Jasper turned around to face Henry with an expression which Henry could only depict as worry and a hint of hope. Hope that maybe Captain Man and Kid Danger could sort this out without a sweat but as soon as they he made eye contact with Henry that sense of hope fell.

A sharp cough could be heard from behind him. He turned to a very worried, yet composed, Charlotte.

“Okay this is bad but staring at a blank screen won't do anything to help” she got up and dragged Ray away from the screen. How could she be so calm at a time like this? If they weren't careful Swellview could be in big danger and if anything happened to the town? His family? His friends? Henry wouldn't be able to live with himself knowing he didn't prevent it happening. They had to come up with a plan.

“Charlotte I get that you're trying to help us here but this?... This is bad and as much as I hate to admit it I have no clue what the fuck we are going to do.” Henry could feel the stare Ray was giving Charlotte from the other side of the Man Cave. If looks could kill Charlotte would have been obliterated instantly.

Ray averted his glare from Charlotte and gave a forced laugh.

“This whole thing is so screwed up. In all my years i've never seen someone with an intent of murdering innocent people and just the idea of it makes me feel sick.” He fell down onto the couch with a loud thud and hung his head back.

“Well we won’t be able to do anything right now anyway because we don’t even know who this person is. I think we should just all go home and come back tomorrow ready to figure out what we’re actually going to do.” Charlotte put her hands on her hips and turned to the boys. She knew if she didn’t make them sleep they would stay up all night figuring this out but at this stage? There was nothing to use to figure this out, especially if they were all exhausted.

Henry stood up and walked over to join Charlotte.

“Guys she’s right. We’re all terrified but right now there is nothing we can do other than come back tomorrow and put all our energy into finding out who this asshole is and how to stop them.”

There was a murmur of agreement before everyone got up and said their goodbyes for the evening. They would all meet up tomorrow morning and get started on figuring out how to protect Swellview.

--------------

To say Henry had gotten no sleep last night would be an understatement. He spent most of the evening staring at the ceiling, his mind wandering off to think of the mysterious figure who had threatened the safety of the city. It was crazy to think that someone like this exists in the world but you can’t have light without darkness just like not everyone cares about other people.

He sat up and let out a large yawn before rubbing his eyes and getting up to get ready for the day. Hopefully today they could find out at least something about this person which was useful. Maybe a name? Or a rough location? This would be a good start but Henry knew that finding this asshole wouldn’t be that easy.

After grabbing an apple from the kitchen Henry wandered over to Junk N Stuff and took the elevator down to the Man Cave, to which he was partially greeted with a backhanded wave by Ray who had his nose in the monitor as he analysed the video they received last night.

“Have you figured anything out yet?” Henry moved closer to Ray and studied what he was looking at.

“Not quite. This person has made it impossible for us to locate them” he span round to face Henry and groaned.

“Why is this so hard? The last time I struggled this much with a crime was back when we had to deal with the Phone Shark but that seems like child play compared to this”

“Maybe Charlotte will have an easier time figuring this out. She’s good with this kind of thing so let’s wait for her to get here before-” at that moment the elevator opened and Charlotte stepped out and greeted them.

“Well I guess we didn’t have to wait long then” Henry let out a faint chuckle. Of course he knew how serious the situation was but he couldn’t help himself.

“Where you guys waiting for me?” Charlotte asked, wondering over to the two superheros.

“Only for the last ten seconds so don’t think that we’ve just been sitting here counting the minutes you’d take to get here” Ray stated, half jokingly, as he turned back to the screen. Henry and Charlotte made eye contact and rolled their eyes at Rays remark. They needed Charlotte there was no doubt about that, to be honest Henry would probably be dead by now if it wasn’t for her.

Moments later an audible gasp could be heard as Ray made a frantic gesture for them to come over.

“Guys… we may have a location”

[the-purple-hero]

The Mun Behind The Muse(s)

The rules are simple. Repost, don’t reblog, and just tag the first five muns you think of to do this meme!

PERSONAL

Nickname(s): Blake

Gender Identity/Sexuality: Male/Straight

Married?: No

Have Kids?: No, unless pets count XD

Mun Faceclaim: Toothless The Dragon

Three Favorite Disney Movies: Coco, Wall-E, Zootopia

Three Favorite Disney Villains: Scar, Dr. Facilier, Maleficent

If You Had a Catchphrase: “Gotcha!” (Lame I know but I got nothing better XD)

If You Could Be a Mythical Creature: Dragon, no question about it.

Favorite Texture to Feel: I tend to like soft things, from fur to smooth things.

Favorite Smells: Cookies, Scented Candles, Chicken

Favorite Genre(s): Fantasy, Adventure, Horror, Action

Best Childhood Memory: Spending many summers with my Grandmother and on these occasions I found visits very enjoyable.

Worst Childhood Memory: Perhaps when my two dogs years ago needed to be put down because it was hard, I was denying it and it didn’t hit as hard at the time but it did later and it’s one of the big things I can think of.

If You Could Tell Your Past Self One Thing: “Never be afraid to be yourself and learn to stand up for yourself.”

If You Could Go Anywhere in the World: Egypt, Greece, France, London

One Lie You Told in the Last Year: I have told my sister that some of the things I currently own were bought as gifts by my S/O. They weren’t. I bought them for myself with money that should have gone to rent. (She won’t see this because she doesn’t have tumblr, but it’s good to say something about it.)

One Interesting Thing You Learned Recently: Sirens were not originally depicted as fish-people, but were instead actually bird people, and male sirens were a part of the early texts about them.

Random Useless Fact You Know: I know how to sex hermit crabs. I don’t know how that applies to adult life except in that particular situation.

Plans for the Future: I hoped at one point to become an animator but now I’m not so sure, I mean yes I’m still fascinated by that stuff but in terms of a dream job idk right now.

Least Favorite Interview Question: “What are your weaknesses?” Like, as if I want to tell you that I’m an ADHD, depressive asshole with severe anxiety who has stolen small things from previous jobs and might be a mild kleptomaniac and also may have multiple personalities. You won’t hire me if I tell you that shit. Also I hate when they ask “Why do you want to work with us?” Um.. Because money. I don’t necessarily care about your business but I have to tell you I do just so I can get a job, because I need money to live.

ROLEPLAYING

Note: The muses don’t have to be yours. They can be a partner’s muse, or one you’ve seen on your dash.

Favorite Muse: Oh man it’s really no contest, I’ve gotta go with Spyro of course. Not only is he a major part of my childhood therefore part of my life for a long time, he’s also someone that has a lot of potential for cool plots and ideas. :3 

Not to say I don’t have other muses I really enjoy using because I definitely do but I’d say Spyro is probably my top muse, and my favorite of them all and if I were to keep only one muse to stay it’d be him.

Least Favorite Muse: Hard to say, because there are a couple of muses I’ve got on another blog that I’ve been holding onto but don’t really see the reason yet I keep them anyway like Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde from Once Upon A Time. Not really sure why they or Nimue (OUAT) are still there, especially the former because they never get used and some muses I hold onto just because of one or two plotlines that needs them XD. 

Besides that though I like all my muses and they all became muses for a reason cause I liked them in some way.

Favorite Thread Plot: I love action and adventure, and I also like me some angst and fluff threads. 

Least Favorite Thread Plot: Don’t know if i could really say this but sexual subjects because I really don’t write it anyway not even with adult muses I’ve got. 

Favorite OC: I’ve only got one OC I actually rp as around here, but that’s not my only OC I have at least 2-3 more that I don’t have as rp characters but they were formerly in very old fanfics I wrote that are very cringey. 

So for now I’d have to say Andrew Goldberg, because the other 3-4 OC’s would need a lot of reworking in order to be considered I’d say because sure Andrew is a kidnapper and not a good person but still despite many rewrites on him I think he’s pretty good and can get good plots.

Least Favorite OC: Probably one of the OC’s I don’t have a blog so I’ll just say one I called Richard, because I had a randomly dark story connected to him just for the sake of having a big scary villain. 

The other could be one I called Brian Ravencroft or Nightwatcher, he was a superhero of sorts but would need some reworking I’d say cause his story is confusing and connected to a canon character. 

If You Could Meet One Muse: SPYRO, no contest really any of the dragons from Reignited I could say or even Crash Bandicoot but pls let me meet my precious purple boi!

Which Muse Would You Punch: Probably either Fiona/The Black Fairy or Thanos, cause they’re both terrible but I would definitely not live long past doing that I imagine. XD

Which Muse Would You Hug: Again Spyro, he’s just a super tough strong little guy but you can’t deny he’s adorable so I’d gladly hug him.

For the Other People

Tagged By: @jabbers-wild-world​ (Thanks and nice job making this ^-^)

Tagging: @chief-n-alpha @timekeeperlindar @nihoneshi @musesmansion @bluebirdsmuses @adventurouswind

[maxwell-grant]

Batman: The Idiot Root Part 2

Following @mirrorfalls​ ‘s ask and Part 1, in which I continue my look at the Batman storyline called “The Idiot Root” 

I feel a strange disconnect reading this storyline, in the sense that this comic is definitely hitting on some really, really good ideas, ideas that could make for a really gripping and incredibly disturbing storyline, but is passing them by too quickly for any of the ideas to sink in, which I’m starting to realize is a problem I may have with Batman comics in general.

But I’m definitely welcoming what this story has to offer. Peter Milligan really knows how to bring out the disturbing in Batman, and when paired with Norm Beyfogle it’s a winning duo.

...Huh, I guess Zeno is indian? Definitely doesn’t look like one, I just thought he was a random white dude getting too much focus. “Zeno” is not a Brazilian name, and I guess the intent was for it to be exotic on purpose? He did say he was “born here” when they arrived in the jungle, but...bruh, no

“my people”

Moving on

God, this should be harrowing and dramatic, and I feel like if this was a prose narrative you could get such delightfully unsettling descriptions of Crosby destroying the children one by one as the great horror from another world feasts on their minds and then the heads tethering him to this world explode as said horror bursts forth and talks about "dipping his tongue into all that succulent consciousness”, and I’m already sounding like I’m about to write a pulp horror story just describing it, but

but he looks so STUPID

he is just a GUY

I’m not even opposed to great horrors looking silly or ridiculous, I’m firmly in the “Mxyzptlk doesn’t need to be anything more than just a little guy in doofy clothing, and any attempts to make him “scarier” than he already is are hokey as shit” camp, but The Idiot’s not even that silly, he’s just a white guy in a straight jacket and a doofy haircut.

Like at this point I think the whole “Idiot” gimmick stopped being cute and funny and now it’s just frustrating and feels like it’s getting in the way of what could easily be a really, really great Batman horror story.

Not that it isn’t a GOOD Batman horror story or even nearing a great one, mind you, because this is still Peter Milligan with Norm Beyfogle at work, and they sell the hell out of the idea. But, again, it’s a couple steps short of being potentially the Batman horror story for the ages it could have been.

I do definitely like the “Zombies are the gateways to the real world” and the idea of a cosmic horror story where the great monster only uses the zombies as means to travel and sustenance, and the zombies themselves are just helpless victims. It’s almost like a Cosmic Vampire kind of thing.

Frankly, I would have liked it more if it was The Queen of Hearts from earlier that transformed into a cosmic vampire needing to hijack minds to survive, then you could blow up her inner struggle from before to greater proportions, as Batman tries to both save her as well as Rio from being consumed by an unholy abomination ever growing in power and bloodlust.

In fact, I’m gonna save this idea for later.

I get that De Freitas here is supposed to be a fairly typical “unsympathetic authority figure who doesn’t like the superhero and is going to be proven wrong by the story’s end”, and I’m definitely not about to start defending a cop character, especially a Brazilian cop, but I get the feeling that his constant remarks that he doesn’t trust Americans and their arrogance, and doesn’t trust American vigilantes, don’t quite make him as unsympathetic as Milligan intended. I absolutely think he’s right to be wary of Batman and to want this American superhero to stay the fuck away from Rio’s streets, which are more than enough of a handful to deal with as is without vigilantes and superheroes.

Well, I sure know who this asshole voted for in the last election.

To the story’s credit, getting torn apart by a crippling fear of birds is absolutely the kind of rushed, horror-movie finale that’s befitting The Idiot’s nature. It also means that The Penguin could kick this guy’s ass if warned beforehand of his capabilties and I absolutely want to see that happen.

Okay, I get that this is also very much an appropriate ending for a horror story, the hero finds a brief return to normalcy that’s forever tainted by an encounter with horror beyond imagination, and definitely not what I expected from a Batman comic, but...

That’s it? Batman just, left them? Didn’t drag the victims and Zeno to a Wayne Enterprises hospital to look after them, didn’t try and find a cure for their condition, didn’t stay in Rio to try and see where else the Idiot might have winded up, nothing? Didn’t even try to completely eliminate said idiot root from existence? Just, took a plane back to Gotham and brooded about it?

...Look, I don’t want to make this a pissing contest, I genuinely detest and never want to do those, but I gotta point that, in the one storyline where The Shadow encountered an ancient, all-powerful evil puppeteering the mindless husks of children to telepathically prey on mankind, the very first thing he did after temporarily putting it down was learn where it came from and travel halfway across the world to take a flamethrower to it.

And frankly I don’t see why Batman would have any reservations about doing the same thing, to a being that’s killed at least 60 people by the story’s count. But, really, he just feels bad about himself for a bit and leaves Rio (and Brazil by extension) to deal on their own with the potential return of a godlike murderous monster created by American machinations and perversions.

...Again, definitely wasn’t expecting that level of authenticity from a Batman story set in Brazil.

I guess overall I’d say I liked reading The Idiot Root, but it’s also one of those things that I keep having mixed feelings about due to the story not living up to it’s incredible potential. In regards to it’s depiction of Brazil, it’s definitely a lot better than I was expecting, considering the writer’s British and this is a Batman comic after all. I can definitely say there was some effort here (really undercut by the baffling decision to draw a supposed indian character as a white man but, hey, can’t win everything).

I can definitely say I’ll be mining some ideas out of this story for my own writings, thank you very much for introducing me to it. It’s quite fascinating, and if nothing else, if I ever get a job writing Batman, I’m definitely going to bring Mister Slim (under a more fitting name like Zé Magrão) back, definitely the most pleasing surprise from the book.

[journeyinyourhand]

January Round Up

All reviews will be non-spoiler (anything that might be deemed spoiler-y, you can find on the books goodreads page)

The D.U.F.F. (Designated Ugly Fat Friend) - Kody Keplinger 

This book was a reread for me and rereading it reminded me how much I loved this book the first time I read it. The main character is Bianca Piper and her two best friends are a little different than her. They love going out, dancing, and care about how they look - Bianca doesn’t. She would rather sit next to a 30 year old “bar tender” (he sells soda to teenagers) than party with her peers. This character is written so well that if it was in the hands of a lesser writer, Bianca could be really annoying. There is this boy she goes to school with named Wesley and he is super hot but is a man-slut. One night at the teenager club (I forget the name of it), Wesley dubs Bianca the duff. Wesley stated that she is neither fat nor ugly but she was less attractive than her friends, who he wanted to get with at the time, and therefore is the duff of her friend group. This really upsets Bianca (as it should) and she throws her coke in his face. Side note: This is the only scene from the book that made it into the movie. The movie is not a representation of the book because it changes almost everything from the book by trying to add characters, change plot, change character personalities (one character in particular who is a nice guy in the book and it a total asshole in the movie). Back to the review: Home life is not so great for Bianca at the moment in time of the book and one day she kissed Wesley. Bianca tries to use physical pleasure to distract her from her problems and who better to do that with than the man-slut of the school. I loved this book the first time I read it but rereading it after I have had sex myself really makes me understand Bianca decisions a little bit more than when I read it the first time. I highly recommend this book, especially for those who ever feel like the odd man out. The characters learn some really good lessons by the end of the book that everyone should carry with them. 

The Last Black Unicorn - Tiffany Haddish 

I think Tiffany Haddish is hilarious and so is her book. It tells her life story through the good and the bad and shows that sometimes you have to laugh at the bad times because things will eventually get better. I listened to the audiobook which is read by Tiffany and highly recommend consuming this book in that manner if you want to read this book because you get all her inflections as if you were listening to one of her comedy shows. I recommend this book for those who like Tiffany Haddish.

Yes We (Still) Can - Dan Pfeiffer 

I listen to Pod Save America (crooked.com) and love listening to all the people on that podcast. Through being a “friend of the pod” I signed up to get this book for free and I did (I never win giveaways and I was so excited I won something). Dan Pfeiffer was senior advisor for strategy and communication to President Obama and wrote this book that depicts his time on the campaign, in the white house, and the presidential election of Donald Trump. It was a very interesting read. I recommend this book for anyone who is into politics. I also recommend going to crooked.com and see all their podcast and news articles. 

Shatter Me - Tahereh Mafi

Imagine a world where you couldn’t touch anyone, where any skin to skin contact can cause the death of a person, that touching someone gives you immense power while you drain the life out of another human being: That is the life of Juliette in the book Shatter Me. We first meet Juliette while she is in a mental facility that is more like a prison. Throughout the book, you find out that she is there because she accidentally killed a little boy when she was trying to help him from his abusive mother. The problem is she touched him, and that touch caused the death of that little boy. I will admit that this book has a little bit of a slow start and that I really didn’t get into it until a few chapters in. The thing that fascinated me the most is the backdrop of the world Juliette lives in. She lives in a world where the environment is completely destroyed, food is scarce, the weather fluctuates extremely, and life is very difficult to live. What really got me in the description of the environment is that its not to far from what will happen in the real world if we don’t reverse the man-made harm we have placed on our earth. Scientist have told us we have about 12 years to fix what we have done, yet we live in a world where we let corporations take charge and do what they want. No matter how green you are as an individual person, if the big corporations don’t also go green and fix the damage they have done, it will be all for nothing. While reading this book, I read it as a warning for what is to come if things don’t change and it was a very scary thought. By the end of the book, my first thought was that this was Juliette’s superhero origin story and I can’t wait to see what happens next. I highly recommend this book. 

Destroy Me - Tahereh Mafi

Destroy Me is the novella companion to Shatter Me written from the perspective of Warner. Describing the plot to this book would spoil the above book so I will write a spoiler review of this book and Shatter Me that will be coming out soon. 

[jamiebluewind]

Bluewind's Massive List Of Fic Recs

Here are some of my favorite fics. Please be mindful of the tags on the fics as I was unable to note them all myself. Let me know if any are abandoned, if a link doesn't work, or if you just want to share a fic I might want to add to my list ^_^

Also, I didn't have time today to add all the Tumblr ones, so click here to see all the fanfiction under my fic rec tag.

Also also, if you get a minute leave a little comment on the fics you enjoy (especially for the AO3 writers who tend to rarely get noticed if at all).

The Hidden Rose by jamiebluewind (wc 10196): Warning! Please read the tags! Roman will be okay. He can handle the self loathing building up inside of him. He can ignore the weight pressing down on his shoulders as he plasters on a convincing fake smile. He can hide his pain from the others. He'll be okay... until he's not.

A Different Side Of Hogwarts by notalwaysthevillian: Four boys travel to a magical school to learn to be wizards. A brave muggleborn, a nervous pureblood who doesn't quite fit in, an intelligent loner with his nose always in a book, and the friendly ball of fluff that keeps them all together. Can they survive their classes and everything that seems to try and pull them apart?

In The Witch's Nest by a_forgotten_note: Virgil is considered bad luck. Nobody wants to adopt him and everybody who does returns him due to the fires that always happen around him. Then one day, two loving men come into his life and show him what he never knew existed. They do their best to teach their new son how to use his magic. One could expect no less from the two Ilvermorny professors.

To Build a Home by AValorousChoice: Nobody ever wanted Virgil. Nobody had ever shown the slightest bit of interest in adopting him. He never believed he was good enough for a loving family. Then one day, Patton and Logan walked into the orphanage and changed everything. (I love this one so much. Angst and fluff and well written)

This Love Hate Relationship by insanelycoolish: Roman has followed The Witching Hour since he was in high school. Last time they were in town, Roman not only got to meet the lead singer of the band, he kissed him as well. The band (Virgil included) is in town once more. Roman drags along his friend Logan for moral support as he tries to find the answer that's been plaguing his mind for a year: Will Virgil remember him and their kiss?

Keep Him Safe by Whatwashernameagain: Warning! Adult content, so please read tags! Officers Logan and Roman are unlikely friends. Roman is a flamboyant flirty rainbow and Logan is... decidedly not that. When their regular stop closes, they decide to try out a new place. The pastry shop is owned by a sweet bubbly man that quickly pulls in all who meet him with his genuine kindness. However, pain can be hidden beneath a smile. Meanwhile, a gang is quickly growing in power. (a mixture of fluff, angst, and dark undertones)

A Lesson in Practicality by ResidentAnchor: Four seemingly random strangers all answer an ad to move into a downtown apartment. After a few month together, they all realize they've been hiding a secret from one another... they each have a unique special ability. Can they keep living their day to day lives in a house full of superpowered humans? Will their powers bring them together or cause a rift between them? And how long until somebody starts running around in tights?

Patmalian by patentpending: Patton loves Logan more than anything. He just doesn’t understand why his friends are lying or why they’re saying there’s something wrong. He’s not obsessed or deluded. He’s just in love. Desperately, terribly, helplessly in love. (will stomp on your heart and you will say thank you)

Out Side Observations: The sides become real. Thomas is left scrambling as he tries to figure out how to handle the situation. The sides are not much better off. (linked to current newest chapter so yall would have the links to all the previous ones)

Illuminated by altruistic-skittles: Most humans are born with a soulmark that glows in the presence of their soulmate. Some are platonic. Some are romantic. Those without one or with a faux one are often treated badly by society. This is the story of a group of men trying to find where they belong.

A Wolf in Sheep's Clothing by I_Live_In_A_Trash_Can: Warning! Dark themes so please check the tags! Three superheroes face off against vilian Nightmare. Patton tries to become friends with a lonely guy named Virgil.

Partial Prints by satan_copilots_my_tardis: Warning! Basically all the warnings so check the tags! Patton is a serial killer who feeds victims to Virgil who is a monster who eats people, Deceit is a demon, Roman is a muse, and Logan is the poor human caught in the middle. (for god sakes read the tags)

An Unconventional FamILY by EmPhoenixCat: Warning! Dark themes so check the tags! Human Logan adopts a vampire (Remy) and a werewolf (Roman). Virgil is a good kid despite being possessed by a morally gray demon.

Another Line That Comes With Age by SmolTownFangirl: Warning! Graphic depiction of violence so please read the tags! Roman takes care of his 3 sisters despite his dad being king of the assholes. Patton and Logan are teachers. Virgil is their son.

We'll Be Together Never (Forever) by Lady_Akuma_Wolf: Warning! Extreme abuse/neglect so please read the tags! Patton befriends a mostly elective mute outcast said to be Soulless. However, Patton believes Virgil's soulmate is just shy (unlike his own dramatic soulmate Roman). Virgil isn't use to kindness especially since his own parents are abusive assholes.

Could You Imagine by FebruaryFun: Imaginations take physical form. Logan is not taking very good care of him imirage Virgil and needs a helping hand.

Blank by Shay_Nioum: Logic is gone. There's only Apathy. The other sides are heartbroken.

A Whole New World by mandeebobandee: Virgil and the others were just watching a movie. Now he's lost in the real world.

Fanged Friend by Demon_Wr1ter: Warning! Graphic violence so please read the tags! Virgil is a vampire with three great roommates. Now all hell is breaking loose and he's scared of killing one of his friends.Fangs by TessaTheDreamer: Warning! Assault so please read the tags! Logan was turned into a vampire. At least he's already a nightowl.

The Seeds We Sow by ResidentAnchor (wc 67435): Warning! Graphic depiction of violence so please read the tags! In one kingdom, magic is embraced. In another, it's outlawed and those with any magic are executed. Prince Logan has to travel to the other kingdom for a meeting.

Even Nobody Has A Tale To Tell by AlliDaMeme: Warning! Abuse so please read the tags! Roman isn't happy with who he's being paired with for a group theatre project. Virgil the dark loner. Patton the boy that always smiled. Logan the nerd who skipped two grades. Dex the dangerous delinquent. What none of them realize is that everybody has a story to tell and not all of them are happy.

Behind the Yellow Door by FangirlOfPower: A story of Deceit's adventures in the Light Sides' version of the Mindscape. He's usually very confused, especially by idioms that are taken literally.

Family Matters by IRegretNothingAndEverything: Warning! Abuse so please check the tags! Virgil runs away from an abusive home only to be scooped up by a strange collection of two adults and the runaways who became their children. Now if he could only save his little brother.

Ceremony of Innocence by Acantha_Echo: Warning! Abuse, violence, and isolation, so please check the tags! Sir Roman is captured by the evil warlock terrorizing the lands. Locked away in a cell with his only company being a kind man in glasses and the handsome servant who brings them food at night, Roman struggles to find a way to protect the kingdom and save the others.

The Witch's Secret by Arcadian_Skye: Roman rushed back to meet with the other sides. He was going to regret fighting the dragon witch with so little time to spare before brainstorming with the others. Pain. Glass breaking. Darkness. Will the injured prince find someone worth fighting for?

Blanketverse by SoDoRoses (FairyChess): Wet Blanket and Life Of The Party: Roman wants to host a party in his realm. Virgil feels like a wet blanket (when he's not worried about having a panic attack). Personal Space: Patton won't go near Logan and Logan worries why.

adventures in gender by riverblujay: Virgil discovers they're nonbinary. They're later joined by Roman resulting in the two bonding.

It's Still a Good Life by IsaacTheGreat69: Logan is in pain after a breakup. Virgil is supportive. (Analogical)

Silk Gloves by Dorktapus42: (more of a jacksepticeye/markiplier egos fic with mentions of Sanders Sides). A hectic day in the life of our favorite silent grayscale boy, Jameson Jackson aka JJ.

Powerless by patentpending (wc 187953): Warning! Graphic depiction of violence and mental abuse so read the tags! Almost everyone in the world has a superpower. The unabled 0.04% are treated as lesser and subjected to bigotry. Virgil has tried to fight back against the system that oppresses people like him, Patton, and Logan. When Patton’s bakery is targeted in a hate crime, he finally snaps. With the help of a mysterious sponsor, Virgil becomes a villain, ready to remake a broken society. The only thing standing in his way is the world’s most powerful superhero: The Prince.

Overworked and Underpaid by IsaacTheGreat69 (wc 7349): Thomas has been really busy and hasn't been seeing his friends. Virgil gets hit hard by the stress.

A Stitch a Day Keeps The Bad Thoughts Away by ShadeCrawler (wc 8407): Virgil has found serenity in knitting. Whenever he knits, he tries to make the other Sides a gift. It never ends well.

Love and Other Fairytales by SoDoRoses (FairyChess): Wickhills is a town that never stays in the same place forever. The people there do there best to keep themselves safe when surrounded by fae and other magical creatures. Not all beings are kind. Not all gifts are wanted. Not all paths are safe.

lavender for luck by lovelylogans (wc 66391): (LAMP) Virgil's uncle castes spells, reads fortunes, and listens to houses talk just like Virgil's father when he was alive. You see, the Fae family is born with both magic... and a curse. Those who fall in love with a Fae and have that love returned all die, so Virgil refuses to ever take that risk.

How not to be an idiot about your feelings by Tiili97 (wc 5475): After staying up for 3 days studying, Virgil convinces Logan to get some sleep. Logan wakes up the next day not remembering that he had randomly kissed his roommate on his way to bed.

The Low Light by a_forgotten_note: Warning! Graphic violence and sexual conduct so please read the tags! Logan is a cold-hearted vampire who runs a funeral home with the help of Patton who takes care of the daytime business. Patton's boyfriend Roman is... there. While out walking the graveyard, he happens upon a boy being stalked by a ghoul. Virgil survives and gets entangled in the world of nether creatures and the sudden influx of vicious ghouls in the small town.

Second Chances by callboxkat: (Sequel/series page) Roman is homeless and just trying to survive. With no room left at the shelter, he was tossed out and left to fend for himself on the streets. A former high school rival offers to help.

The Last Days by EdgyCatSkull (wc 10383): Warning! Major Character Death so please read the tags! Patton, Logan, and Roman have lived in their apartment together for years, along with a fourth reclusive man. While the three grew closer, the other never even told them his name. But one day, the man they had started referring to as simply Anxiety came out of his room and began to bond with the other three men. Maybe there is a reason, but one Virgil would rather leave unspoken. With Roman's play coming up and everybody seeming very happy, it would almost seem like things would finally work out for them... almost.

Of Course by A_Travis: Anxiety existed in a gray area of not good or bad. Just gray. When he lends a hand to the others, he only has one response.

Lovesick by Jackfruit: Roman can smell lovesickness and Logan REAKS. Logicality

Ever After by creativenostalgiastuff: Virgil is death and must guide souls to the afterlife. (very sad)

What? by just-an-anxious-mess: The sides are acting strange

Chemically Imbalanced by NyxWordsmith: Warning! Read the tags! Roman’s first mistake was taking Mr. Sanders History class, expecting an easy ride. His second mistake? Hitting on his son. (very lose adaptation of the sides and so much angst)

Stains of a Soul by sanders-sides-fics: Warning! Abuse so read the tags! Virgil is torn. He loves writing to his soulmates and the marks on his arms from their replies. His parents don't. They called having three soulmates unnatural. He's punished. Insulted. His pens are broken. He just wants to make his parents proud.

Scribbles by SketchyNebula: Virgil watched as the ink appeared on his arm followed by a second and a third. His soulmates. He would never muddy their relationship with his presents, but as he watched the happy colors take up every last inch of blank space on his arms, he couldn’t help but be happy that fate chose him to be lucky enough to witness it. The unfolding of this relationship was going to be something akin to a fairy tale and if that was the only light in his dark existence that fate would grant Virgil, then he would take it without regret.

Silence and Duality by xaandiir: Warning! Read tags! Children make mistakes and the Sides were no exception. When Thomas was young, they locked up the one who was hurting him. They thought they were only protecting Thomas. Now that Fear is out, they have to face he consequences of their decision.

On Impossibility by theotherella: Student body president Logan is in a precarious balance of power. In order to save the football team, he was forced to cut the unsusessful theater program. Roman hates him for it. Virgil isn't too happy either. Logan is fine.

A Virgil Affliction by creativenostalgiastuff: Warning! Read tags! Thomas has high anxiety over his friends moving. Virgil becomes overwhelmed with all of the changes in Thomas’ life. He struggle to cope and starts taking it out on everyone and everything. What will help them get through this tough time?

Innerworks by Prplzorua: Warning! Author may not be able to finish! Because of an "Incident" Anxiety falls ill, Thomas won't speak, Logic is mad, Morality is just trying to be a good dad (they tell the best jokes) and Prince is trying to figure out what in the world is going on.

Inks and Tallies by Skittlesun: Roman has an odd tattoo client asking for tally marks

Sleeping on Secrets by novusavis: Virgil is worried his curls will make the other sides not take him seriously, so he tries to hide them

Splat! by Listless_Songbird: Patton hears a curious noise coming from Roman’s room and peeks in to investigate

Mimicry by On_Sonnshine: Warning! Dark themes and violence so read tags! Virgil looks broken as he confesses something terrible that happened. Roman sees red.

Patton Will Fight You by RLCinderella: Virgil talks bad about himself. Patton did warn him. (Pure fluff)

Wynken, Blynken and Dad by SilversEdge: Virgil is having trouble falling asleep, so Patton decides to help (Pure fluff)

Neuro Logical by musicmuse0609: After being insulted by Roman, Logan decides to do some research to figure out why he's so different. Discovering the reason only seems to cause him more stress than before.

Love hurts by TheGhostOfBenjamin: Warning! No comfort so read tags! A merman falls in love with a human. One needs air, the other doesn't. How far will he go to get to his loved one?

Everyone can leave by Vampirtulpe: Warning! No comfort so check the tags! The sides and Thomas have been stuck on an imaginary island for months. Roman is convinced that he will find the exit, but what if everybody doesn't want to leave?

Must Be Dreaming by rosesandstuff: Remy loves kissing his boyfriend, Roman. However, when it’s obvious there’s something much weighing on Roman’s mind, Remy stops so they can talk.

Unspoken by IronWoman359: Warning! Read tags! Virgil stomps off in a downpour after he and Logan have a fight. When tragedy strikes, will Logan get the chance to make amends.

Noose - Oneshot by imthederpyfox: Virgil walks into the woods with a rope and a piece of paper. A noise in the distance startles him.

Love at firtht thight by shiverfawkes: (analogical) Virgil is use to not being taken seriously. He has a strong lisp which causes "s" to sound like "th". Then he meets a boy at his new school who changes that.

Silence Is Your Loudest Scream (I Don't Know Why You're Hiding) by maxiswriting: Roman is an actor. He can hide the truth behind a wall of convincing lies. The dark thoughts aren't there. He's fine and happy for the others. Everything's fine. (LAMP)

Lessons by DemonicPresence (wc 2732): Roman loves guitar. Logan doesn't understand why.

High Five by periwren: Virgil is a shy lonely school kid that always gets picked on. His classmates have made it a new game to jump scare him and eventually it all ends in tears.

Cat's out of the Bag by YouDontKnowMeIDontKnowYou (wc 2262): After wandering into the imagination to find Roman, Virgil turns into a cat. He's not happy about it. Hilarity ensues.

Nail Polish and Princes by novusavis (wc 3207): Virgil has trouble with his hands shaking. It makes it impossible to cleanly paint his nail, so he decides to ask Roman for help.

The Kind of Pain That Doesn't Hurt by warcatscat: Warning! Read tags! Roman has bad habits. He knows that. He knows they're not good for coping. But when everything else is so deeply overwhelming, what else can he really return to besides old habits. They die hard, right?

The Betting Pool by Skittlesun: Drama teacher Roman Hart and music teacher Virgil Knight have this little game they like to play. The objective? Make the other blush first. Place your bets!

Did You Lock The Door? by periwren: Warning! Sexual situations so read tags!Patton and Deceit just want to fool around without the other finding out, but the other sides keep spoiling their fun. Hilarity ensues.

The Smell Of Leather Jackets And Alcohol by Sp00nhater: Warning! Extreme child abuse so please read the tags! Virgil and Roman are very different. Roman is popular and loud. Virgil is a quiet loner that's feared. A class protect forces them to work together and brings some dark truths to the surface.

It's Only Logical by TSTrashCaptain: Warning! Sexual conduct and past abuse so read the tags! When Logan (a florist with a PhD in botany), decides to hire someone to work the counter in his flower shop, he assumed it would be no big deal. His life would continue to be calm and as predictable as Roman unsuccessfully flirting with the emo owner of his favorite coffee shop. He could never have expected what a disruption one single Dad could make to his neatly ordered life.