#Eskel being that brother

[toss-a-coin-to-your-stan-account]

BLOCKING s3 vol. 1 haters on sight i am. blocking you all ON FUCKING SIGHT!!! last season we had to deal with eskel being turned into a goddamn fucking tree and then wolf food and now with the MOST fun and MOST enjoyable and LEAST Actively Pissing On The Books season of twn since literally season one that came out before the FUCKING PANDEMIC you wanna HATE??? not having it NOT having it. we literally have the "jaskier being ciris fun uncle" content we craved post-s1 for three years and Geralt literally called him "jask" and you wanna be MEAN???? NOT on my feed no sir

[inexplicifics]

What or rather who are the Eldritch Trio? It sounds familiar but I can't place it.

Heh, the eldritch trio are what happens when I go "alright but what if Geralt and Eskel and Gweld got some interesting alterations to their Grasses and ended up a little more inhuman than possibly the mages desired?"

Lambert knows he got a different blend of mutagens than his older brothers did. That’s because everyone got a different blend than they did. Their year, the mages decided to experiment, and even the sort of mages who go in for mutagen research are sane enough that after they saw the results, they decided not to do that ever again. There were only three survivors of that year: Geralt, Eskel, and Gweld. Geralt, the mages gave twice the usual Grasses, and he still came out looking the most human of the three. His hair is white as bone and his eyes are a startling true gold and his teeth are very, very sharp, but he looks mostly normal. Until he moves, with a liquid grace and speed that makes something in even witcher hindbrains shudder and draw back in fear. He’s much, much stronger than a witcher ought to be, and he can move as silently as a shadow, and something in his roughened voice makes terror skitter down a listener’s spine when he is angry. He doesn’t talk much anymore. Gweld got a different mix, and it’s probably a good thing he only got a single dose of it, because it gave him the sort of inhuman beauty only mages and incubi have, the sort that it’s hard to look away from. His eyes are the color of coals, deep burning orange, and if he meets someone’s gaze, it’s like Axii: they melt to his will. Also his hair is made of fire, now, instead of just being fire-colored, and his body temperature is just a little hotter than is truly comfortable to touch. Lambert suspects if Gweld had gotten a double dose of that, he wouldn’t have made it off the table…and also the entire keep might have gone up in unstoppable flames. And Eskel, poor bastard, whatever the mages gave him, it forced his latent connection to Chaos wide open, so that his power spills out around him…into vast, writhing tentacles of black shadow edged with amber light the same shade as his eyes. They’re only solid when he wants them to be, and they’re terrifying to face on the training field, because they’re impervious to pretty much all damage and they’re stronger than an angry chort. And Eskel has absolutely perfect control of them, including being able to cast Signs through his godsdamned tentacles. Most of the time, they look like a strange cloak, shrouding him in shadow-and-amber; and then, at least when he’s comfortably at home in Kaer Morhen, one of them will flick out to grab something off a shelf or pull one of his brothers closer, and Lambert is reminded all over again that his brothers are something that’s not even a little bit human anymore.

[casually-eat-my-soul]

Okay so after the mountain breakup Geralt wants to apologize but he’s not sure how too. When he goes home for the winters he’s much more grumpy then usual and his brother and vesmir can smell his angsting. It take them nearly all winter to figure out why Geralt is so sad, but when they do they try and help.

All three of them try to figure out a way to have Geralt apologize. But they are Witchers and treat this in the same way they treat a monster hunt. They also don’t understand humans, and Geralt isn’t really that helpful as Jaskier is so different from humans.

When they finally come up with a decent plan, that has backups of course — “what if he escapes out a window instead of listening to Geralt?”

“Humans don’t jump out of widows lambert, they wouldn’t survive”

“Hmm no Jask jumped out of a three story widow when he heard that Valdo Marx was in the same building.”

“Fuck, we got to block out all the exits”

— Geralt sets out to apologize, and unbeknownst to him Lambert and Eskel follow him. They decide that since Geralt bard is well a bard, Geralt obviously needs to serenade him as he apologizes. (Ye old boombox)

So they buy cheap instruments and lay in wait. When Geralt finally starts to apologize it comes off awkward they jump in and start play horribly. They are both sing two different songs while they play hit cross buns. — “I fucked up and now I’m an angsty bastard without you, please fuck me again.”

“Lambert shut the fuck up, the lyric we agreed too was I’m deathly in love with you and being without you leaves me heart broken and berate” — It’s not really a surprise though lambert only followed to make fun of Geralt, while Eskel is a true romantic at heart.

They end up getting into a fist fight, in front of one mortified Geralt and dying laughing Jaskier. but while they are distracted with fighting each other Geralt pulls Jaskier aside and properly apologizes. It’s a sweet moment and they are both slightly crying — “I know that you may never forgive me, but I wish for you to travel with me again, to be better for you, to you.

“Geralt I forgave you two days after the mountain, I missed you too.” — Coen appears out of nowhere with a flower bouquet and gives it Jaskier and claims it’s from Geralt. He also kisses Jaskier hand before stepping away. Geralt nearly decks him. Jaskier makes a joke about swooning over Coen, so Geralt in a fit of confidence kisses him.

Next winter when Geralt brings Jaskier to the keep, they roast his ass. There isn’t a day that goes by without lambert or Eskel bringing up how angsty Geralt was last winter. Jokes on them they don’t have someone like Jaskier to wake up too.

[geraskierfanficprompts]

Prompt 142

Prince Geralt is the second of three sons born to King Vesemir. Court... Isn't his thing. Court isn't really any of the three boys' things. Eskel was certainly polite enough for it, but many thought him too intimidating looking to even approach. Geralt detested the finery and the clothing that made him look like a sad silk trader. Lambert nearly killed a woman with a heart attack the last time he was in court and opened his mouth to speak. Geralt doesn't like court, or meetings, or what-have-you. He much prefers riding his favorite mare, Roach, into the nearby woodland. Whether they'd just go for a trot, or hunt something, or swim in a creek was a choice he usually made up on the spot. One afternoon however, as he dismounts from his trusty steed, he hears a noise on the wind. A rather lovely one, at that. It's singing. Someone's singing, and they've the voice of an angel. Geralt freezes in place for multiple minutes, too engrossed in just listening. Geralt glances around, attempting to make sense of which direction it's coming from. He doesn't even tie up Roach before he sprints off in the direction of the singing. He doesn't know what he'll do. Applaud? Say 'thank you, that was great'? Faint? But he does want to get closer. Just the slightest bit, so he can hear the singing better. After a moment or two of trompsing through the underbrush, however, the singing stops. Geralt loses all traces of the voice, and is left to return to his horse, stood where he left her, in disappointment. He tells his brother of the encounter, tells them to try hearing the voice in the woods. Lambert warns him it might be a troll in disguise, and Eskel gets so caught up correcting Lambert's thoughts on trolls that Geralt can't even gush about the voice any more, and returns to his room, eager to set out to the forest as soon as he can.

It's been two weeks, and Geralt is saddened by the voice's disappearance. It was a once-in-a-lifetime blessing he'd just have to hold onto. Even as he hears the voice in his thoughts and dreams every night. It's not the same. Not the real thing. Geralt is being moody about all of this as he lays on his back, floating in a small pond. Roach is there, on the shore, occasionally bending her neck down and taking a sip. He tried to invite her in to swim with him, at least get her feet wet, but she'd harshly declined, giving him a little nip on his arm. And then, he hears it. The voice. The singing. Geralt is so shocked, he flails in the water, and inhales some. Geralt rushes to the shore, hacking like a cat about to present it's owner with a hairball, and rushing to put all his clothes back on. As soon as he's fully dressed, the voice has stopped. He hadn't even had the time to try and seek them out again! He kicks the dirt, and sits down to pout next to his horse. Despite the failure, he was overjoyed when he revealed the news to his brothers. "My siren is back!" He said with a grin. Eskel loved when Geralt grinned, he didn't do it nearly enough any more. Not since they were all children. "I was in the pond when-" "Can't be a siren if you were in the water and they weren't." Lambert points out, mouth full of food. "I know they're not really a siren, that's just what I call them!" "Why is that?" Eskel inquires, raising an eyebrow. "Every time they sing, I- I feel as if I'm bespelled." Geralt whispers with awe, his eyes sparkling. Lambert begins chortling as loud as possible. "Prettyboy is whipped over a VOICE!" "You would be too, if you could hear them!" Geralt argued, just before a servant came in to alert them all that it was getting rather late, and their father requested them all in bed.

Another few weeks go by without his siren, but Geralt knows they must still be out there. They're just biding their time before they enchant him again. Geralt is home after a long day of messing around in the woods hoping to hear them. He's stood on his balcony, looking out toward the forest, sighing. It's just as he's about to walk back inside when he hears it... Ever so quiet, ever so soft, in the distance, coming from the woods. His siren. He freezes, and listens for a moment, before shaking his head. He slams his door open and races down the hall, only to run straight into Eskel. "Geralt? What's wrong?" "My siren! They're singing! I have to go to the woods!" "Geralt, it's the middle of the night-" Eskel worries. "You haven't found them yet, but you think you can find them now?" Lambert pipes up from the room farther down the hall, rubbing his eyes, evidently annoyed he was awoken by his brother's urgency. "I have to try." is all Geralt tells them, as he pushes past Eskel and continues down the hall. After a few minutes, both Lambert and Eskel are out on their own balconies, hearing nothing but the ambient sounds of night. "He's gone fuckin' batty!" Lambert shouts over to Eskel's balcony. "SHUSH! You'll wake father!" Eskel hisses back. Geralt came back that next morning, disappointed, and no closer to finding the mysterious vocalist.

Two entire months pass, and Geralt is distraught. It's beginning to feel like his siren is really gone for good this time. "Smiiiile, it's a happy day for you." Eskel lovingly reminds Geralt. They're all sat on their thrones, awaiting nobility and gentry to pass by and give Geralt gifts, for it was his birthday. All Geralt wanted for his birthday was to hear from the siren again, but even if his siren came back, he wasn't in the woods to hear them anyhow. "The Pankratz family!" A servant loudly introduces, snapping Geralt out of his thoughts. They looked the same as every other noble family did, though there was an exception. A boy around Geralt's age was the first to give Geralt an actual, genuine smile. "We are delighted to present you with our gift, it's a-" "I have a gift for the prince, too!" The boy interrupts his father, taking a step closer. "Julian!" The mother hisses. "It's a song." "Julian, don't embarrass us like this." The father snarls. Geralt holds up a hand. "...I'd like to hear it." The boy, who was quite handsome in retrospect, races to their bags and finds a lute he smuggled along. He steps in front of his family, looks into Geralt's eyes, and begins to sing. Geralt freezes. Eskel glances between the viscount and his brother, who was seemingly in a trance. Eskel was at first worried about the way his mouth parted a bit in shock as he realized what was happening, but then he looked to see Lambert was gaping like he was physically incapable of shutting his mouth... Which... It being Lambert, was actually quite possible. When the boy finishes, everyone politely claps, except for Geralt, still staring in awe. The boy flushes and fidgets in place. "..I cannot accept this song as a gift." Geralt says. "We're so, so, so dreadfully sorry about Julian, your highness-" Geralt shuts the man up with a wave of his hand, still staring at the musician who captured his heart. "I would rather my gift from your family to be your son." The Pankratz all gasp and gawk, as Julian's eyes widen. King Vesemir leans over and whispers "What the hell are you doing, boy?" "I would like to give him the official position as court bard, and I'd like to hear him sing again. Every day, if I can." Geralt explains. "Your highness, we simply can't just give away our dearest son-" "I'll do it!" "Julian-!" "I'd love to be the court bard, Prince Geralt!" Julian crows, bouncing up and down in delight. "...Then it shall be." King Vesemir said, giving a confused glance to Eskel. Eskel and Lambert are alone that night. Geralt was busy being serenaded, they assumed. "So. Geralt found his siren." Eskel says softly. "I really thought he was just nuts." Lambert snorts. "Apparently not." "..." "..." "..." "..." "Wanna bet on how long it takes until they start fucking?" "You know it."

[thedemonofcat]

Jaskier has taken to saying “Geralt’s bloody tits”.

It was a joke at first, but it’s become an actual habitual phrase for him. Geralt’s also become desensitized to it (when you hear “Geralt’s bloody tits, it’s cold out!” 50 times in an hour, you get numb to the phrase).

And then Jaskier says it unthinkingly in front of Geralt’s brothers.

The words tumbled out of Jaskier's mouth at an alarming speed, leaving Geralt mortified. He didn't need to glance at his brother to sense Eskel's growing concern.

“Did Geralt hurt his tits?” Eskel was the first to break the silence.

“No,” Geralt sighed, shooting a look at Jaskier. “That’s just something *he* came up with.” He tugged the bard closer, until Jaskier was practically perched in his lap. “He thinks he’s being funny.”

“But I could make them bleed,” Jaskier murmured into Geralt’s ear, his tone suggestive. The implication was unmistakable, especially with the faint smirk tugging at Geralt’s lips.

“Get a room, you two,” Lambert groaned, rolling his eyes.

[thewolvesandtheirbard]

Just sitting here thinking about how Lambert probably gets sandwiched in between Geralt and Eskel the first few nights they all get back to Kaer Morhen for Winter.

Eskel rocks up to KM first and he and Lambert get to spend a lot of time together. Lambert’s pouting, missing Geralt but not admitting it. Calling him names and stuff instead to mask his worry.

Eskel snuggles up with baby wolf that night and his warm cuddles fix all the problems for the time being…

Then Geralt arrives late in the night, and Lamb awakes to feel himself being squished between his brothers.

He, annoyed, asks Geralt where he’s been, and the white wolf just replies with lots of kisses ❤️

[shy-urban-hobbit]

“I mean, you’ve got to feel a little sorry for them really haven’t you?” Jaskier said from where he was mopping up the last of the evidence of the half dead rat Roach had thoughtfully decided to gift them (the first time it happened he’d shrieked in surprise before Geralt put it out of its misery with a matter of fact “Welcome to country living, city boy”). Geralt gave a non committal hum from where he was warming milk up for Ciri on the stove. The little girl sat colouring at the large kitchen table - too large for two, but that would change when Geralt’s brothers and any guests they decided to bring descended on them.

“I mean they’re just minding their own business like, Oh I’m a hungry rat. Please don’t kill me.” Here Jaskier put on a slightly squeaky voice and held up his hands in imitation of paws, still holding onto the mop, “And then wham one of the last things they see is Roach’s teeth coming towards them. So many teeth.” He gave the resident farm cat a critical stare and received a dismissive tail flick in response.

Ciri giggled at his antics which caused him to grin back at her in return. It always felt like a special sort of personal victory when he managed to coax a laugh out of the little girl.

Despite being together for six months, he was still being introduced to her as her father’s ‘friend’ (which was true enough, they wouldn’t be dating if they didn’t get along) and Jaskier was happy to go along with it. Geralt had explained without revealing too much that the little one had been let down by too many adults in her life already, himself included, and ‘boyfriend’ was maybe just a little too official sounding for the time being (and if he said his heart hadn’t broken a little for the five year old smiling at him from Geralt’s phone, he’d by lying), especially after the shit that had gone down with his ex. Geralt hadn’t gone into detail but from what Jaskier had gathered, the woman had had a hidden agenda in wanting to get back with Geralt and Ciri had almost gotten seriously hurt as a result. Geralt had blamed himself for jumping back into the relationship too quickly and so, any potential partners now had to pass what Jaskier had dubbed ‘The Ciri test’.  

He liked to think he’d passed the first portion with flying colours, the tiny blonde seeming perfectly comfortable with him in public places. Now they were dipping their toes into Jaskier staying in their home for longer periods, with Jaskier having graduated from the guest bedroom to sharing with Geralt the previous visit (the brunette wanting the ground to swallow him up when she happily informed her Uncle Eskel of ‘Daddy’s sleepover’ when the man had dropped by unexpectedly the following morning. Geralt had just shrugged and told him to be thankful it hadn’t been Lambert; who could and would, happily take the piss forever).

“Alright Ciri, put your things away and then go get your bedtime book. I’ll be in in a minute.” Geralt said, pouring the warm milk into a plastic My Little Pony cup.

“I want Jask.” Ciri declared form where she was trying to force the crayons back into their box by the (relatively small) handful, Causing both adults to stop what they’d been doing and stare at one another. This was new.

“You sure you don’t want daddy?” Jaskier asked, looking to Geralt for some sign as to what he should do.

“You do better funny voices. Daddy’s all sound the same.”

It took everything Jaskier had not to burst out laughing at that as he took in the minute eye twitch from the other man at that statement, “Geralt?”

Geralt nodded, “Mind if I stay and listen? You know how much I love The Gruffalo.”

Jaskier snorted and felt a surge of fondness. The lies we tell for our children.

It ended up being a joint effort, with Geralt guest starring as The Gruffalo “On account of you being so, well...gruff.” and admitting to a slightly too smug looking Jaskier and a mostly asleep Ciri that “Yes, Jaskier does better voices for everyone else. Especially Mouse.”

"Everything ok? You’ve gone all quiet on me.” Jaskier said from where he had his head in Geralt’s lap as they watched some mindless Netflix show. “I didn’t overstep did I?” He was suddenly frantic, his anxieties bubbling back up to the surface now that he didn’t have a performance and an audience to focus on, “I know you probably just said yes so things wouldn’t be awkward. I probably should have told her no and come up with an excuse but how can anybody say no to that face-“

“Jaskier. It’s fine, honestly.” Geralt said, rubbing his hands up and down Jaskier’s arm in a way he knew calmed him, “I’ve built up something of an immunity to Ciri’s puppy eyes. I would’ve said no if I had a problem with it. I’m just thinking.”

“About?”

“About how I might have a question for Ciri.”

The next morning saw Jaskier seeing both of them off with a hug (also accompanied by fishing a stray cheerio out of Ciri’s hair which he had been too tired to question) before heading back to his city apartment and his job as a music tutor.

“Ciri?” Geralt asked, putting her school backpack by the door as he knelt down to help her button up her coat, “You know how Aiden is Uncle Lambert’s boyfriend?"

It had slowly been killing Jaskier not to check his phone as soon as the text notification came through but he was nothing if not professional and he would not check his phone when he was in the middle of a lesson. Thank the Gods he did wait as he was prettu sure he gave his retreating student a minor heart attack with the squeal he let out at Geralt’s message:

‘Ciri has been proudly announcing to her classmates this morning that Jaskier is her daddy’s boyfriend. Much disappointment from the single mums.’

[wren-of-the-woods]

Hello! Thank you so much for what you do- could I please have some recs for geraskier fics where geralt is the one pining harder?

Here you go!! I wasn't sure how to categorize who was pining harder in all of these (since our boys are masters of longing lol) but these are all stories where Geralt loves Jaskier very much, and I highly enjoyed them all!

~

favorite by @asweetprologue (Rated G, 5.8k)

Jaskier gets Geralt a gift, and it makes Geralt realize he doesn't know enough about what Jaskier likes. He forms a plan to figure it out.

i’ll kiss you slow by @paintedcrayons (Rated T, 4.9k)

Geralt is not being creepy. He’s not. He’s just looking out for his friend (with a questionable choices in lovers). Lately, Geralt has started to notice the way people treat Jaskier’s affection like a means to an end. They kiss him only to move to the next step, dance with him as pretense to get him into their beds. He would like nothing more than to kiss Jaskier for the sake of it. (He does.)

time and time again by @samstree (Rated G, 5.2k)

Marriage proposals, through the years.

The Best Laid Plans by @dhwty-writes (Rated T, 5.5k)

Geralt is in love with Jaskier. In order to finally get him to admit his feelings, he devises a ten step plan with Lambert, Eskel and Vesemir.

A Friend in the Wild by @samstree (Rated G, 1.6k)

In which Geralt acquires a tiny friend who wouldn't stop following him.

Weak and Wanting by @sociallyawkward--fics (Rated T, 36k)

Geralt had thought that inviting Jaskier to Kaer Morhen after all these years would be a good thing. What he didn't plan on was his brothers deciding to have a little fun with their situation. Lambert and Eskel really needed to stop meddling in things they didn't understand, especially when it came to his bard.

Tell It With Your Heart by @bambirex (Rated G, 2.5k)

While Jaskier always says what's on his mind, Geralt works a little differently. That doesn't mean he cannot tell Jaskier how he feels - he just does that without words.

Repeat After Me by @onwardorange (Rated G, 7.3k)

All it takes is (nearly) three years, two meddlesome brothers, and one exasperated sorceress to get Geralt to admit his feelings for Jaskier.

Love Me Better, Send A Letter by @rebrandedbard (Rated T, 12.5k)

Geralt and Julian have been exchanging letters since participating in an inter-school pen pal program in high school, and Geralt has been pining away for Julian for over a decade since meeting by chance one faithful day in Posada. Between work and Ciri, he hasn't had much time for travelling, but he and Julian still exchange their letters faithfully. Finally, Julian's equally busy life coincides with Geralt's long enough for a short visit, and Geralt has the chance to finally introduce Ciri to the man she knows only on paper. Things would be perfect ... if Julian's visit didn't fall within the week of the concert of Ciri's favorite musician, Jaskier.

Music is no solution by @thecrownprincessbride (Rated T, 4.3k)

Jaskier has self-doubts, and Geralt is there for him.

A Careless Omission by @samstree (Rated T, 5.4k)

Jaskier reveals he has a type. Geralt behaves strangely.

Highway Angel (To the Dark I Said Pour and Forgot to Say When) by @fangirleaconmigo T, 2.8k

Geralt is a long haul truck driver. With long stretches on the road away from his family, and with no one to keep him company but his loyal dog Roach, he has to brave most of his life completely alone. Then one day, just as he is passing the city of Oxenfurt, he turns on the radio and hears a voice.

zero for ten by @yaelathewordsmith (Rated T, 10.4k)

The blue-eyed boy on the school's cricket team seems determined to bowl Geralt out. The worst part is, he isn't even fucking trying. * Or, the ten times Jaskier held Geralt's heart in his hands without knowing, and how Geralt grew to want him to keep it.

~

(You can find my other reclists here!)

[endiness]

personally, i don't care about eskel or his death at all, but that being said. likE.

"In interviews, Henry explains how he felt strongly that Geralt NOT be bumbling, nor a struggling father figure. In fact, a lot of S2 is about how Geralt does come from a loving (albeit unconventional) family. Henry was passionate about this shift, and we discussed it a lot, and ultimately thought it was wonderful for his character development."

"In the books, Geralt struggled with what it meant to be not just physically responsible for Ciri, but emotionally; however, in the show, in both writing and performance, Geralt had already learned a lot about loving and being loved from his brothers and from Vesemir. The conflict for our Geralt wasn’t about how to be a father… but the lengths he would go to protect his child of surprise. […] So how could we take the growth that we need to see in Geralt, but have it have all the appropriate ups and downs and cliffhangers and devastation and action that modern audiences expect? Enter the idea of a mystery Geralt needs to solve in order to learn about Ciri and her powers. And enter the idea that the mystery should unfold in the place where Geralt should have felt most protected and safe: his home. With his family. With the people he knows best. Except what happens when one of those people comes back home, and is acting completely differently than what Geralt expects? […] Geralt makes a choice that breaks his heart: he sacrifices Eskel to save Vesemir. And now we have a mystery for Geralt to solve: what happened to Eskel? And how does it involve Ciri? And further to that, we’ve got a dilemma that will play out through the whole season: just how far will Geralt go to protect the girl that is his destiny? What wins out: being a witcher, or being a father? Can he save both? And how?"

oh, so this is another thing that henry cavill fucked up? lol. lmao even.

[hanzajesthanza]

about geralt and eskel (crossroads spoilers)…

even though eskel wasn’t in crossroads himself, i love how he’s a recurring motif. damn it, i would love to see more about these two. they are like the epitome of “he’s not heavy, he’s my brother”. (and as an only child i find that fascinating, very unique and curious).

and something which hit me. is how geralt and eskel’s relationship changed over time, as they got older.

the first story we ever hear of them is about the bumblebee, a memory from childhood: incredibly innocent and silly, boyish, mischievous. of course, they are disciplined pretty brutally for it* but it’s a real childish game

later, at the beginning of this book—when geralt is still more innocent—he “brightens up” at being able to mention something funny about his brother, recalling his name… he’s left kaer morhen, he’s not side by side with him anymore, but still his memory brightens with a mention of him

towards the end of this book—geralt is still young, but no longer innocent—he uses eskel’s name as a psuedonym, as he’s stalking a man to murder him in cold blood.

it’s a bit of levity to an otherwise predictable situation (we know when the white wolf goes on the prowl, he catches his prey, haha, similar situations can be seen in the saga so we pretty much know how this will turn out)

but despite the dark subject matter, it’s still tinged with a bit of mischief. eskel won’t actually have these murders pinned on him, because geralt uses his name that he doesn’t use anymore, but it’s still a bit like how a boy geralt might respond to vesemir asking who knocked over some alchemy equipment: “noooo, wasn’t me, it was eskel”. funnily shoving the blame onto his brother, who is miles and miles away from him at this point. and wholly unable to retort, “what?! nooo, wasn’t me, geralt did it!”

by blood of elves, both of them have matured, they’re men in their 50s now, they’re professionals. witchers. they’ve both managed to survive. their bond still persists, but is that of men, not boys—a comment, “you’re alive,” a sudden, quick, wordless embrace… a brief moment. and yet they are so similar, carbon copies, just with different color palettes. (select > ctrl-C > ctrl-V > ctrl-U > adjust the hue slider).

and what their bond is now is not so many jokes and mischief, but a shared responsibility, to raise a child, to take care of their home, to bide by their old father, to groan at their younger brother. and between them, a shared sense of nobleness, eskel was very polite and upstanding to triss merigold, geralt was too, and in his emotionality… yeah.

they grew up.

(* note, one could argue that belt whippings are normal discipline in this universe, but i ask you to look at how geralt never beats ciri with his belt, only threatens it once, but never goes through with it—rather he shares with her his food and relents to her the two apples. how tuzik never beat his daughter until he came home one day and she had dressed herself up as falka. and how andrzej sapkowski himself, in historia i fantastyka, said he is such a pacifist he cannot even spank a child. imo, it’s pretty obvious that belt discipline is considered an extreme, it’s used to invoke a sting of pathos in the witcher, it’s unable to be glazed over)

[blackberrywars]

♥️Lambert/Aiden Fic Reclist!♥️

For anybody and everybody interested in Lambert, Aiden, and/or their relationship! I've been obsessed with these two since the start of the pandemic, and they inspired me to start writing my own fic, so making a reclist has always been an idea in the back of my head. Plus, it's come to my attention that the tag can get crowded sometimes, so, Laiden fans, this one's for you.

Parameters: I've decided to divide my recs based on common story types that explore Laiden both in and out of canon. Other ships are allowed, but the focus is Lambert/Aiden. Additionally, I put a cap on 3 fics max per author. These are not arranged in any particular order beyond the categories.

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♥️Lambert's Revenge/Aiden's Death or Return♥️

(i know dead people, and you are not dead) by @brighteyedjill (Explicit/5,940/Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings)

Lambert finds Aiden after ten years of torture, maimed and broken. They retire and learn each other once again, mind, body, and soul.

I imagine death so much it feels more like a memory by CamilleDuDemon (Mature/2,327/Graphic Depictions of Violence, Major Character Death)

Aiden dies on a beautiful sunny day, while Lambert waits for him in their usual meeting place. Witchers cannot love and witchers never die in their beds. If only neither of those were true.

No Grave by @blackberrywars (Mature/2293/No Archive Warnings Apply)

A shameless self-rec, because I'm very proud of this fic. To the tune of Hozier’s Work Song, Aiden crawls from her almost-grave, determined to see her baby wolf again.

Fair Trade by Anoke (Mature/40,373/Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings)

Karadin sells Aiden to a mage, and he becomes an experiment, trapped in his own head while searching for a way out. It's a series, and this is the part where shit gets ugly.

Very Dark Magic by @bomberqueen17 (Mature/23,683/No Archive Warnings Apply)

Aiden is once more getting tortured and mind-controlled by a mage, but luckily enough and via the power of psychic beams, Keira and Lambert find him. And Lambert's pissed.

Roses Fall but the Thorns Remain by @t4tlambert (Teen/1,458/No Archive Warnings Apply)

Lambert holds Aiden's medallion in his hands, and he knows what it means. He pays for the privilege of having this last piece of his lover, and falls apart for just a moment.

No Grave Can Hold My Body Down by @t4tlambert (Teen/14,414/No Archive Warnings Apply)

A fellow Hozier-lyric-title user. Aiden crawls out of his grave and is found by Eskel, who begrudgingly decides to not piss off his little brother and does his best to keep his Cat alive.

Fortunes of the Fearless by @tumbleweedtech (Teen/627/No Archive Warnings Apply)

Lambert is a vicious bastard, and Aiden is lucky enough to be around to appreciate it, even if Lambert's victim is long dead and drowned.

Survival by @kitdubhran (Teen/1,278/No Archive Warnings Apply)

Aiden wakes up in enough pain that he kind of wishes he hadn't. But he does wake up. And we all know who he's gonna go find.

♥️Getting Together & Being Together♥️

Intent by tnico (Teen/18,551/No Archive Warnings Apply)

Lambert does everything in his crotchety (open to interpretation) power to get Aiden to reveal his devious plans and fuck off, except all he wants is to be by Lambert's side. Incredible characterization, funny as hell, and awesome research footnotes.

Bad Blood (Runs True) by @fairytrashmother (Teen/8,368/No Archive Warnings Apply)

The Tournament never happened, and the Cats and Wolves are actually trying to make peace. A young pup and a young kit might just solve their problems

Silver for Monsters by @crimsonherbarium (Explicit/108,559/Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings)

A canon-compliant look at the development of Laiden with awesome cover art and plenty of angst in later chapters. Lambert is slow to trust, so the burn follows thus.

Lacebound by @heronfem (Mature/39,391/Graphic Depictions of Violence)

Lambert and Aiden as young witchers in winter, lacebound by the fucked-up system they live in, and soon, lacebound to each other. Extremely nuanced politics, people, and circumstances, but also something like a college AU, if Bombs 101 was a class

Denial by tnico (Teen/16,989/No Archive Warnings Apply)

This fic quite possibly wins the award for bitchiest Lambert dialogue in existence, and no one loves it more than me and Aiden. They go a-curse-breakin' and have a grand old time together. More awesome research footnotes

Therapeutic Effects by @laurelnose (Teen/900/No Archive Warnings Apply)

Lambert finds Aiden purring himself back to health, and it's mad cute (but also hilarious because Lambert is Lambert)

Fuck Off: A Love Story (In 5+1 Parts) by @skaldingrayne (Mature/17,080/Graphic Depictions of Violence)

Despite all his efforts to appear the contrary, Lambert is just a bit too noble (and then a bit too horny and a bit too in love) to let this mangy Cat die by his own stupidity. He's still gonna bitch about it tho.

i won't say i'm in **** by @purpurred (Mature/5,848/No Archive Warnings Apply)

Keira arranges for a Cat to fulfill one of Lambert's more private fantasies, and Lambert takes it in the worst way possible. That doesn't mean he can stop thinking about the way Aiden held a poisoned knife to his throat.

ease me of its fever by @inexplicifics (Mature/5,226/No Archive Warnings Apply)

Omega Lambert has spent so many years saying absolutely-the-fuck-not-i'll-rip-your-cock-off that it's more than a little difficult to say yes. Aiden is so, so patient.

mountains that are stacked with fear by @xianvar (Mature/11,171/No Archive Warnings Apply)

Lambert, being Lambert, assumes the beautiful love confession he found in Aiden's bag was actually a prank, and lashes out accordingly. He gets his shit together, and his Cat, eventually.

♥️Meeting the Family♥️

Lambert's two orens' man by Ledgea (Teen/1,861/No Archive Warnings Apply)

One part in an incredible series about the slow development of Aiden and Lambert, but it's just a fun bit of Eskel getting to see his baby brother happy

Hide and seek by Ledgea (Mature/6,617/No Archive Warnings Apply)

Lambert sneaks Aiden into Kaer Morhen, and his whole cohort of bastard pups work hard to cover his ass while causing as many problems as witcherly possible; part 1 of 3

a promise to keep by @all-hail-the-witcher (Teen/983/No Archive Warnings Apply)

Tooth-rotting fluff of Aiden in Kaer Morhen, appreciating the effects of good, regular meals on Lambert's physique. Cutagen biscuits are made.

Winter with the Caravan by @damnbert (Teen/14,229/No Archive Warnings Apply)

Lambert goes home with Aiden for a while, and all the other Cats take the opportunity to take the absolute piss out of them both (and maybe do a little matchmaking on the side)

Lambert's Family by @freudensteins-monster (Teen/5,901/No Archive Warnings Apply)

Lambert hides his biological family until he finally feels safe enough not to. They might be growing up around him, but they still welcome him home every year, and they welcome the Wolves and Cats too.

Did he who made the Lamb make thee? by @tumbleweedtech (General Audiences/1,461/No Archive Warnings Apply)

Being the (asshole) older brothers that they are, Geralt and Eskel constantly rib Lambert about being the littlest wolf, and that his mysterious cat must be pint-sized to match. Lambert is happy to prove them wrong.

♥️Good Old Fashioned Smut♥️

wild green wonder by elizabethgee (Explicit/42,554/Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings)

Laiden smut in just about every configuration you can think. Sweet and tender, rough and wild, this one has it all. If you like a dom!Aiden and repressed sub!Lambert, this is stellar

Lambert's (Not-So) Mysterious Vial of Oil by @on-a-lucky-tide (Explicit/11,291/No Archive Warnings Apply)

The Lambert-kicks-ass-at-alchemy headcanon applied to sex. He receives (heh), and then passes his glorious knowledge of lube onto a his student, Aiden

Sweeter Than Pride by @blackberrywars (Explicit/2524/No Archive Warnings Apply)

Another self-rec for the f/f lovers. Lambert is a sweet brat and earns herself a spanking so good she cries. Aiden freaks out a little, but after it all, they fall asleep spooned together

An Evening of Frippery by @bard-llama (Explicit/3,105/No Archive Warnings Apply)

Lambert being a power bottom whose gender is "mind your fucking business," but who nonetheless looks fantastic with his exquisitely tailored skirts hiked to his waist

I Like how the day sounds through this new song by Lynge (Explicit/9,222/Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings)

Some porn with plot where Aiden forces Lambert to confess to petty theft and also his deep and abiding romantic feelings (in that order).

Problem by elizabethgee (Explicit/1,977/Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings)

In a fic I've just now realized has the exact same premise as one of my wips, Aiden is obsessed with Lambert's thick ass thighs and will do anything to ride them

Cut You Clean by GreenBird (Explicit/4,203/No Archive Warnings Apply)

Lambert loses a bet and has to let Aiden shave him. It has some... interesting effects on him.

Thicker than Water (and Other Poetic Bullshit) by @kushielsmercy (Explicit/2,835/No Archive Warnings Apply)

A mini-character study of Aiden and Lambert through the lens of some filthy blood-play. They're both far more possessive and codependent than they'd want to admit.

Puppies Don't Talk by @damnbert (Explict/8,725/Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings)

Very kink-heavy fic of Lambert going fully into subspace and getting to be taken care of for a while. He can't bring himself to really ask for what he wants, but puppies don't talk anyway.

all dressed up (with no place to go) by @childoffantasy (Explicit/6,707/No Archive Warnings Apply)

Lambert fulfills the redhead contract of wearing green and killing it dead, and there's just enough room under his pretty skirt for Aiden to crawl right up it

Thief's Reward by @inexplicifics (Explicit/1,592/No Archive Warnings Apply)

Maybe Lambert shouldn't reward this handsome Cat for stealing his kill, but it's been awhile, and he might as well get something out of the bargain (it's orgasms. and 60% of the corpse profits)

Dichotomy by @tantumuna (Explicit/25,054/No Archive Warnings Apply)

Extremely kink-heavy fic where Aiden and Lambert switch to see whose methods can get Aiden pregnant the fastest.

Kneel For Me by @alllthequeenshorses (Explicit/2,269/No Archive Warning Apply)

Lambert can only really let go with Aiden, and as soon as he can, it's a freefall. Aiden's there to hold him tight. It's some kinky reunion smut, come get a helping.

Catch and Release by @top-notch-swords (Explicit/9,570/No Archive Warnings Apply)

Aiden is deeply possessive and more than willing to manipulate the situation to remind Lambert exactly who he belongs to. Filthy alley sex and a little codependency that they should probably talk about but actually just fuck about

♥️One-Shot Roulette♥️

A Logical Conclusion by @heronfem (Mature/18,674/Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings)

Essentially the thesis of Laiden shippers, seeing Lambert's prickly ass and knowing the only logical conclusion is that he must have loved Aiden very deeply, even across space, time, and AUs

Wheel of the Year by @crimsonherbarium (Explicit/20,717/No Archive Warnings Apply)

A series of Lambert and Aiden celebrating the holidays on the outskirts of society, but finding twice the joy for it. Lots of smut, but also sweetness and angst.

You and I (and what we get up to) by @iwillpooponthefloor (Explicit/19,396/No Archive Warnings Apply)

ABCs of Laiden that focus on them as a team of two. They pull off contracts, schemes, and each other, from time to time.

Purr For Me by @round--robin (Explicit/8,407/No Archive Warnings Apply)

A whole bunch of short and sweet snapshots into Laiden. I couldn't put them on this list, but Robin has a lot of other fics combining Laiden with other ships.

♥️Modern AUs♥️

A Beginners Guide to Exploiting the Kaedweni Tax Code For Fun and Profit by @heronfem (Mature/167,193/No Archive Warnings Apply)

Lambert and Aiden get accidentally married and decide to make it work for the tax benefits. And then they fall in love. And work through trauma. And get a cat. And it's gorgeously written.

What Happens at Waffle House by Anoke (Teen/1,993/Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings)

The rituals are intricate, and Lambert's sometimes involve mutual combat with the Waffle House line cook. Somehow, the feral gremlin gets a date out of it.

All those wonders sit in wait for us by Theladyknight23 (Teen/14,847/No Archive Warnings Apply)

My fellow fem!Laiden crusader with a delightful modern take on witchers as a combination between truckers and pest control workers. Americana themes and the best additional tag ever: "love is like bread."

The Bark that's to Your Bite by @theimpressionablelizard (Explicit/12,976/No Archive Warnings Apply)

Where Lambert is Deadpool pre-mutation and he falls in bounty hunter love with Aiden, who I personally imagine looks like Dev Patel from the Green Knight. A little romance, a little co-worker wolves, and lots of swearing.

Three Cats Walk Into A Bar by @halehathnofury (Teen/2,607/No Archive Warnings Apply

Inspired by the lovely @whyzowl's art, it's the Wolves + Ciri dressing Lambert up to get him laid, and Aiden taking the bait.

Helpless, Feckless, Far Too Young by @keirametzbrassknuckles (Mature/14,605/Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings)

The Wolves are a traveling group after a death in the family, and Lambert is so fucking sick of them acting like nothing is wrong. He meets Aiden, and they get on like a fairgound on faire. Written by my personal mistress of angst.

♥️Miscellaneous♥️

Once, Again by @brighteyedjill (Mature/4,521/Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings)

Aiden has to save Lambert in a time loop without explaining anything, but we all know Lambert doesn't trust easy. Sometimes the simplest solution is the right one.

The Art of Living by Ledgea (Explicit/25,636/Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings)

Lambert loving people as the story of an art gallery, a skill honed from his cohort to his brothers to Aiden, The Damn Cat, when he makes his appearance.

Fields of color by @witcherscrane (Mature/2,057/Major Character Death)

In the wake of Aiden's death, Lambert follows a beautiful illusion with a smile on his face. His brothers help him find rest.

Give Us A Smile by @etcorsolus (Mature/2,945/No Archive Warnings Apply)

A 5+1 of Aiden making Lambert smile. Textual adaptation of that one post "look at you! you're so handsome when you're not being a bitch."

The Basics by @kushielsmercy (Mature/375/No Archive Warnings Apply)

Aiden gets possessed, and Lambert has a choice to make. Ambiguous ending.

Ashes in His Mouth by Faetality (Mature/3,924/Graphic Depictions of Violence)

Fear makes humans cruel. It makes them not care who gets tied to the stake, so long as they can breathe easy while the victim drowns in smoke. Or, Lambert suffers, and Aiden watches.

remember me as i was not as i am by @all-hail-the-witcher (Explicit/40,248/No Archive Warnings Apply)

Aiden has been dead for a very long time, long enough that Lambert has long since forgotten his face. It's just in time for a beautiful man with green eyes to break in through his window and ask for his services.

Deafening Silence by @wolf-and-bard (Explicit/13,230/No Archive Warnings Apply)

Destiny is a stubborn bitch, but it hasn't Lambert, who doesn't give a rat's ass that he's never meant to see Aiden again.

A Spot of Blood by MsThunderFrost (Explicit/3,440, No Archive Warnings Apply)

How the phrase "Pops didn't raise a quitter" turns into a "sex sent me to the ER" story for Lambert, because he's a stubborn bastard who would rather injure himself than communicate.

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Let me say a few things outright, because I want zero drama.

This reclist is for the benefit of Laiden fans, and is not meant as a criticism of any other ship or fic.

The fics chosen for this reclist are only ones I have read. It is by no means comprehensive, and definitely favors older fics, since that was when I was deepest in the fandom.

I actually had to cut this short because I hit some kind of content block limit, which. Oh welp. If anyone wants me to remove their fic from this list for any reason, PM me and I'll do it asap

[inexplicifics]

A nutcracker retelling? All I can picture is Geralt, Lambert and Eskel trying to defeat the rat king whilst all the candy people run around in terror and Jaskier plays the sugarplum theme on the lute. Perhaps this is a modern day Geralt having a fever dream after toddler Ciri starts ballet classes.

Okay, Geralt having a very weird dream involving his daughter's new ballet teacher and his little brother and of course Ciri being Chaos Incarnate would indeed be a funny way to make that story work.

[catscraftsandcommentary]

I need Lambert/Milena in a Shrek AU.

Just imagine with me:

Duke de Roggeven insults a powerful wizard (we all know he would - he'd be lucky if it was only ONE) who then curses his daughters. All three of them.

(ETA: he pissed off Yennefer. Probably insulted her mixed elven heritage and/or her inability to have kids, so she went "alright. Let's see how you feel when YOUR daughters are inhuman and infertile monsters.")

By night, each of them transforms into a different non-human humanoid: Marta is a succubus (all her lust for power and a crown turned into a different kind of lust - and we'll pretend that succubi *can* live without sex, but they feel sick and hungry the whole time), Marika is an elf (still elegant and pretty, but inhuman enough to shock everyone - Marika didn't piss off Yennefer), and Milena is a witcher (Yennefer saw her strength and kindness and went "this suits you.")

Marta, of course, spends the entire time being FURIOUS at being some "sex obsessed half goat! I am the daughter of a DUKE! The ELDEST DAUGHTER! How dare she!" Marika isn't happy, per se, but she privately goes "it could be a LOT worse. I'll take it." Milena actually enjoys her new abilities - she's so strong! Her senses are much sharper! - and the eyes are rather pretty.

After being COMPLETELY HORRIFIED that his daughters (well, mostly Marta) are cursed to become non-humans by night, Duke de Roggeven locks them in a castle guarded by a dragon and then pretends that he's sent them abroad to stay with distant relatives.

Meanwhile, Marta is getting on EVERYONE'S last nerve with her constant bitching, Marika is trying to keep their lifestyle as pleasant as possible, and Milena...

Milena befriends the dragon. She thinks Villentretenmerth is fascinating, and when she learns that the three ladies who showed up to help the sisters are also dragons, she wants to learn as much as they can teach her.

(Marta refuses to acknowledge any of them. "I will not consort with beasts," she sniffs hautily, and locks herself in a private bedroom every night before sunset.)

So! Back in Redania, Duke de Roggeven has convinced everyone that Yennefer's line about "whoever breaks the curse will gain a treasure greater than gold or gems" means that they can gain literal treasure (and/or magical treasure) by rescuing and marrying his daughters, and not - to take an example COMPLETELY at random - their true love as a bride.

(Yes, true love is the cure. Of course it is.)

So the asshole king of Kaedwen hears about the supposed princess and holds a huge tournament - and Lambert shows up because "that fucker dumped a bunch of refugees in our mountains, the fucking bastard. Who does that?!"

Jaskier, being one of the refugees - and also a bard who can sense the potential for a good story - insists on coming with him. They 100% do the "Donkey won't stop singing until Shrek snaps at him to shut up - and then he hums" scene.

About five times.

(Geralt and Eskel either stayed home to help Vesemir manage the refugees or hang around the Kaedweni court to remind the king of his promise - and make sure he doesn't get any even WORSE ideas.)

(Lambert REFUSED to stay in Kaer Morhen when Vesemir was being bossy - "I get enough of him riding my damn ass during fucking winter, NO GODSDAMNED WAY." And his brothers very sensibly refused to let him stay in court longer than absolutely necessary because, uh, they've MET Lambert and they know exactly how badly it would go. So he gets rescue duty by default. At least the princess will be happy to get to Ard Carraigh and away from him. They send Jaskier with him to try to temper some of his, uh, Lambert-ness.)

Anyway! Lambert and Jaskier arrive at the tumbledown castle guarded by a dragon, and Jaskier is immediately like "oh how wonderful! How majestic! Look at that wingspan!" And Lambert is like "...remember how we're here to fight the bastard? We have to GET PAST HIM to rescue whatever noble bint got stuck out here."

Jaskier pouts.

Villentretenmerth finds all this terribly amusing, especially since he recognizes a witcher when he sees one. So he sticks his nose in their camp and asks (rumbles) "what makes you think that even a witcher can defeat the greatest and oldest of dragonkind?"

So Jaskier introduces them - as dramatically and fancily as possible - and states that they are here to rescue the princess.

Milena creeps out from Villentretenmerth's wing. "We are the daughters of the Duke de Roggeven, and there are three of us. I hope you will still take us home?"

Villentretenmerth sighs. This girl. Always getting underfoot. "I will let you take the ladies with you - but you must convince them to leave freely. If they refuse - now or later - I will take them back."

"He sent THREE girls to some remote fucking castle? Fucker. Yeah, I'll take you all. Jask, let's find 'em and get out of here."

So Milena leads them up to the tallest tower where her sisters spend their day. I can't decide if I want Marta to do the whole "sleeping beauty waiting for a kiss" thing (assuming that JASKIER is her princely rescuer and Lambert is just there as a guard.) If she does, she'll get a rude surprise when Lambert shakes her awake and tells her to pack anything she's taking with her, they're LEAVING.

So the guys get the ladies and lead them out - pretending to ignore the hissing and squabbling that said ladies are doing behind the men's backs - and are unhappily surprised AGAIN because not only are their rescuer(s) NOT a prince and his retinue, they don't even have HORSES.

The dragons, of course, are watching this with amusement...and no little relief at getting rid of Miss Complainer the Eldest.

I'm gonna say it takes less than two days for Marta and Lambert to have a truly nasty fight. She wants a horse. A private carriage, really, but she'll SETTLE for a horse. Purebred, obviously. And fashionable new dresses, and BATHS, and food cooked in an actual KITCHEN, and a private bedroom from sundown to sunrise, and...

Lambert is just like "look lady, I don't get any reward until I deliver you, I don't have the coin for any of that, and I wouldn't waste on stupid fucking luxuries if I did."

This does not go over well. At all. There are very angry words shouted about his lack of preparation, decorum, breeding, proper dress...the list is endless.

Lambert gives exactly zero shits.

Milena is watching the fight with interest - she finds him FASCINATING - and Marika is mostly trying to stay out of it. She agrees with Marta on most of the points - their tower-castle was reasonably comfortable, certainly more so than this long hike back to civilization - but also, freedom.

If only they were returning home instead of to a strange country...

Which is about when Villentretenmerth - as the human Borsch - walks into their camp, accompanied by the three dragon woman who have been tending to the sisters. "Marchionesses. Wolf. Bard. I warned you I would take the ladies back if they wished to leave your company."

"The TOWER is better than staying with this BARBARIAN," Marta sniffs. "And Father arranged for marriages for Marika and I already!"

(She knows she gets the crown prince - and she knows that Kaedwen's king is a murderous asshole. Being queen doesn't count if she's not alive to enjoy it...and she won't have allies there to help her plot regicide. She's ambitious, not stupid.)

Somehow, it works out that Borsch and his friends take Marta and Marika back while Lambert and Jaskier continue to Kaedwen with Milena. There is ABSOLUTELY a scene where Lambert is out hunting when bandits try to attack the supposedly unguarded noblewoman and bard, and Milena thoroughly kicks their ass.

Lambert runs back just in time to be HELLA aroused impressed at Milena. Jaskier is already composing an ode to her.

They arrive at Ard Carraigh. Stuck up knights send for the king, who pretends he's a decent person long enough to carry Milena off on a fancy horse. Half an hour later, just as Lambert is moping about losing his new friend, his brothers arrive and go "quick, where's the lady? We have to get out her out of here!"

A very confusing but short explanation-argument later, Eskel and Geralt are chasing after Lambert as he storms the royal palace BY HIMSELF, because like hell will he leave Milena to that monster!

The confrontation is absolutely the most dramatic thing Ard Carraigh has seen in decades, with the witchers storming in just after Milena is crowned but before she can kiss her new husband...

...whom Lambert immediately punches in the face. "HOW MANY WOMEN HAVE YOU KILLED?!? HOW MANY, ASSHOLE? Did you even bother to COUNT THEM?"

Everyone gasps. Eskel and Geralt keep the guards back with drawn swords.

"NO MORE! I *WILL NOT* let you murder Milena for your sick fucking games!"

The king tries to splutter something, but Lambert takes his head off before he can get it out.

And then the sun sets.

And Milena...changes.

Scars from her training with the dragons, greater muscles than any noblewoman should have, and her eyes...

She shrieks - not at the king's death or the witchers' violence, but at her own secret coming out. She's hidden it for so long, and so carefully...she'll never survive this. The Kaedweni court will turn her out, if they don't execute her with her (very briefly) husband -

And then Lambert takes her hand.

"Milena? Are you...okay? Did they hurt you? What happened?"

"I'm CURSED! My sisters and I are cursed - for years now!"

He looks at her. "Y'look fine to me. It suits you."

"Really?"

"I wouldn't lie to you. Never have, never will. And I think you look - good. Really good. The dress is kinda silly - "

Milena giggles. She thought the same thing, when her maids were lacing and buttoning her into the massive thing.

"But YOU are gorgeous. Always have been."

"You still like me? Even..."

"As mutated and scarred up as I am? I'd have to be a fool not to. You're the bravest, strongest, most amazing woman I've ever met."

And she kisses him. She has to, can't hold it back.

(Cue the curse breaking - and leaving her as a witcher.)

Obviously there's cleanup, but Milena IS the queen, and is suddenly betrothed to the man who killed the murderous previous king - so it works out.

And then Villentretenmerth comes back.

[geraskierfanficprompts]

Lambert and Eskel have made a game of seeing how many times they can get Geralt to rant/gush about Jaskier.

Without Geralt catching on of course.

You only get half points if Geralt is drunk. The game also stops around midwinter because it gets too easy once Geralt starts missing his bard too much.

WPGIHWAPGAIPWAHIGWP My favorite shit is the kaer morons being brothers

[thedemonofcat]

After nearly being captured by Nilfgaard, Jaskier is saved by a chance encounter with a witcher—not Geralt this time, but Eskel.

As it turns out, Nilfgaard had plastered wanted posters of Jaskier all over the region, aware of his importance to Geralt. Determined to protect the bard, Eskel set out to find him.

With his life now in jeopardy, Jaskier decides he must learn to defend himself. Eskel, eager to help, agrees to train him.

When Jaskier and Eskel later reunite with Geralt and Ciri, Geralt can't help but feel a twinge of jealousy over the growing bond between his bard and his brother.

[artistsfuneral]

today my brain provided me with some modern au supernatural vibes but it's all aound the idea that "Thurday evenings are family time" at that's an incredibly holy rule in the Wilkson household.

started out with Vesemir having to leave his boys behind to go on hunts and always saying "I'll be back by Thursday so we can watch that show together alright?" and always keeping that promise, no matter what

Gealt and Eskel being rowdy teenagers, going through a "our little brother Lambert is a brat" phase and still, like clockwork, they're there, every thursday, on the couch next to him

lambert, as a teenager, having to deal with terrible anger issues, getting into fights with Vesemir regularly, running away periodically to blow off steam, sometimes going missing for a day or two and yet he always comes back every thursday evening

and then one day, eskel goes on a hunt and it's thursday and he's still not back yet and oh boyyy, Vesemir is cocking his gun and tells Geralt and Lambert to get on their feet "Eskel will be back with us in time for the commercial break."