#Erode heart physician

[digimgl]

Cardio intervention - care24 Hospital erode

https://care24hospital.in/cardio-intervention-hospital-erode/

The Best Cardio Intervention Hospital in Erode is likely one that offers state-of-the-art facilities, experienced cardiologists, and a reputation for high-quality care. It's important to research and consult with local healthcare professionals to find the most suitable option for your needs.

[eretzyisrael]

by Chuck Ross

The New York Times over the weekend published a splashy profile of Arab-American activists in Michigan, detailing Muslim voters' anger over President Joe Biden's handling of the Israel-Hamas war.

It didn't tell readers, however, that several of the people featured in the piece, titled "Here’s How Joe Biden Loses Michigan," have praised Hamas or called for the destruction of Israel, providing a window into the nature of the opposition even to the Biden administration's tepid support for the Jewish state.

The activists featured in the video essay include:

Amer Zahr, an activist based in Dearborn, Mich., told the Times the United States is "actively funding" genocide in Gaza. What they didn't tell us: Zahr, a former surrogate for Sen. Bernie Sanders (I., Vt.), said at a Dearborn rally in December 2017 that he "stand[s] with every resistance against Israel and every resistance against the occupation … whether it's called Hamas, whether it's called Hezbollah." In a Facebook video in December 2021, Zahr urged Muslims and Arabs to "stop condemning anti-Semitism."

Imran Salha, the imam of the Islamic Center of Detroit, told the Times he would only vote for Biden on a ballot signed with "blood" thanks to Biden’s funding for "genocide" in Gaza. What they didn’t tell us: Salha said at a pro-Palestinian rally in Detroit days after Hamas's invasion of Israel that Muslims have a "fire in our hearts that will burn that state until its demise," the Washington Free Beacon reported. In a sermon at the Islamic Center of Detroit in May 2023, Salha referred to the "sick, disgusting Zionist regime" and prayed: "may Allah eradicate them from existence."

Wissam Charafeddine, whom the Times identified as an employee of the Dearborn public school system, told the paper he would not vote for Biden, "and no one will be voting for Biden that I know of." What they didn’t tell us: He has called in social media posts for the "elimination" of Israel and sided with Hamas over the Jewish state. "Israel deserves elimination more than Hamas given the genocide and thousands of massacres," Charafeddine wrote in April. In February, he stated: "Hamas should not negotiate with terrorists."

Nidal Jboor, a physician, asserted to the Times that "no Americans should vote for a president who supported genocide." What they didn’t tell us: Jboor is the cofounder of Doctors Against Genocide, an anti-Israel group that planned to hold a protest in December against the Jewish state inside the United States Holocaust Museum. The museum called the protest "deeply offensive to survivors and the memory of the victims to exploit Holocaust history."

Biden, who beat former president Donald Trump in Michigan by 150,000 votes in 2020, narrowly trails the Republican in recent polls, according to FiveThirtyEight. And according to the Times, anti-Biden sentiments among Michigan’s sizable Arab- and Muslim-American communities are "more than enough" to swing the battleground state against Biden. "This enclave may pick America’s next president," a Times narrator says.

Biden has sought to alleviate his eroding support in Michigan, dispatching White House and campaign officials to meet with Arab-American leaders in Dearborn, some of whom have expressed support for Hamas.

Team Biden met earlier this year with Arab American News publisher Osama Siblani, who has referred to Hamas and the Iran-backed terrorist group Hezbollah as "freedom fighters." In 2022, Siblani urged Arabs to "fight" Israel with "stones" or "guns," the Free Beacon reported. The Times has quoted Siblani in multiple stories in its coverage of Biden's relationship with Arab and Muslim voters without mentioning Siblani’s sympathetic views of terrorist groups.

The Times did not respond to a request for comment.

Here is a 2021 Amer Zahr Twitter post - EY

[normanthedove]

THE DEATH OF BRIAN THOMPSON UNDERSCORES THE RISE OF HEALTHCARE ENSHITTIFICATION AND MASS END-STAGE HEALTHCARE DECAY OF YOUR PHYSICIANS, DENTISTS, PHARMACIST, NURSES PRACTIONERS AND HOSPITALS: DELAY! DENY!! DEFEND!!!

HEALTHCARE POLICY VOID OF SCIENTIFIC INTEGRITY Doctrow’s “enshittification” aptly captures how the promise of progress in the so-called Age of Aquarius has been degraded into the banal tyranny of streaming algorithms and hollowed-out civic values. According to the recently published article Doctors of Courage by Blue Lotus. “..The country’s mental health providers are getting shafted, too. Health and Human Services (HHS) and Drug Enforcement Agency, in a quest to combat the opioid epidemic, launched the Pill Mill Doctor Project, an initiative with ambitions grand enough to rival the Manhattan Project, which developed the atomic bomb to end World War II. But instead of brilliant breakthroughs and national security wins, we got Qlarant, a team of mathematicians and scientists who have seemingly traded J. Robert Oppenheimer’s genius for questionable algorithms and bureaucratic inefficiency. Further, a knack for data manipulation constructed upon a foundation of junk science erodes the integrity of medicine’s scientific truth, rendering it void of a retractation methodology. The Manhattan Project was a convergence of the greatest minds of the 20th century, developing the atomic bomb, a technological marvel in wartime secrecy.

?What can we learn from this debacle? Translation: “When the accused are confounded and doomed to flames of woe, call me among the blessed. I kneel with a submissive heart; my contrition is like ashes. Help me in my final condition.” DELAY Enshittification of Medical Protocols, Profits over Patient Care an Anesthesiologist Testimony: WAOK 1380 Atlanta, Ga Friday, December 6, 2024 Donald E.…

[tmarshconnors]

Assisted Dying is Murder

This Friday, the House of Commons will debate one of the most contentious issues of our time: assisted dying. The proposed bill seeks to legalize physician-assisted suicide under certain circumstances, purportedly offering terminally ill patients the right to end their lives with medical assistance. Advocates argue it’s about dignity, autonomy, and relieving suffering. But let’s not mince words—this is state-sanctioned murder disguised in a cloak of compassion.

As MPs prepare to vote, they face not just a political choice but a moral reckoning. Legalizing assisted dying is not a slippery slope; it’s a moral cliff edge, and stepping over it would fundamentally change how we value human life.

The Sanctity of Life

At the heart of this debate lies the sanctity of life—a principle that has underpinned our civilization for centuries. Life is sacred not because of its quality but because of its inherent value. Allowing assisted dying shifts the cultural narrative: life becomes conditional, and its worth is measured against suffering, convenience, or perceived "burdens." This is not just a danger to the terminally ill; it risks redefining our collective ethics.

Once we legalize the idea that some lives are not worth living, where do we stop? It won’t take long before subtle pressures arise—financial, emotional, societal—on vulnerable individuals to consider ending their lives to ease the burden on others. That’s not autonomy; it’s coercion wrapped in faux liberty.

The Role of the State

The government’s primary role is to protect life, not to facilitate its destruction. Enacting a law that permits assisted dying would cross an ethical boundary that no legislature should breach. The moment we allow the state to sanction killing, even under tightly controlled conditions, we open the door to future expansions. History teaches us that such boundaries rarely remain static.

Consider the experience of countries like Canada, where medical assistance in dying (MAID) has led to a widening scope of eligibility. Initially intended for terminally ill adults, the law now includes those with chronic illnesses and, in some cases, mental health conditions. This mission creep demonstrates how quickly safeguards erode when human life is reduced to a question of utility.

The False Promise of Safeguards

Proponents of assisted dying assure us that strict safeguards will prevent abuse. But no safeguard is foolproof, especially when it comes to subjective judgments about suffering or consent. How do we ensure someone isn’t being subtly pressured by family members, caregivers, or even their own feelings of guilt about being a burden? Vulnerable people—elderly, disabled, or financially strapped—could easily feel obligated to choose death.

Moreover, once the principle of assisted dying is established, it will inevitably be applied more broadly. After all, if it’s compassionate to help a terminally ill patient die, why not someone with chronic pain? Or severe mental illness? These "logical" extensions lead to a world where the most vulnerable are encouraged, even subtly, to end their lives rather than live with dignity and care.

Real Compassion

True compassion isn’t about helping people die; it’s about helping people live, even in the face of suffering. Palliative care, mental health support, and community resources are where we should focus our efforts. We can alleviate pain and provide emotional and spiritual solace without resorting to lethal injections.

The argument for assisted dying often stems from a place of fear: fear of pain, fear of dependence, fear of loss of autonomy. But instead of addressing those fears with care and support, this bill offers a permanent, irreversible solution to what are often temporary or manageable problems. That’s not compassion; it’s surrender.

A Call to MPs

On Friday, MPs must confront a fundamental question: will we remain a society that values every life, no matter how fragile, or will we take the first step toward normalizing state-assisted death? Assisted dying may seem like an easy answer to a difficult problem, but it is a betrayal of our moral responsibility to the most vulnerable.

Assisted dying isn’t about choice—it’s about abandoning those in need. It’s murder under the guise of mercy. MPs must reject this bill and reaffirm our commitment to life, dignity, and genuine compassion.

[egcarlos]

Doctors Without Borders

“Why would I want to see the world any other way than the way it is?” - The Imperfect Offering

James Orbinski, Canadian Physician, Doctors Without Borders President 1998-2001 There’s this book that I have read and reread several times in my adult life called The Imperfect Offering by James Orbinski. It is a highly intense book that gives a grave and often graphic account of his time in Rwanda during the genocide that took place between the main tribes, Hutu and Tutsi. The history between the tribes is very complicated and goes all the way back to the colonist rule by mostly Belgium. Tribal fighting is never as simple as we like to think. Politics, colonialism and pinning one tribe over the other by the colonists are just three out of a plethora of reasons why fighting and ultimately acts of genocide occurs.

Beyond that, he gives little hints and insights on to what drove him to a career in medicine; that includes his immigration from England to Canada, to his spiritual and mostly Catholic upbringing and to his questions about suffering, it’s existence and what he can do about it.

There’s this line in the book that comes up at a very crucial time after Orbinski returns from Rwanda back to Canada. In the paragraphs before, he discusses hints of PTSD that has eroded his mind from the inhumanity that he observed from his time in Rwanda. He talked about his meeting with his spiritual advisor, Benedict and how he also spent time in counseling talking through his experience. And then, after all that he drops this quote, Why would I want to see the world any other way than the way it is?

That line in the book has stuck with me ever since I first read it back in 2015. I love that quote so much that I placed it as a signature in the bottom of all of my emails. There is something so deep and profound to me after hearing that quote, because it gets me asking, why would I not want to see the world any other way than the way it is? I can see how easily I can live my life in a bubble; in pure, utter ignorance to the plight and struggles of the world. I could choose not to turn on the news or radio to hear about the disaster happening in Palestine. I could choose to not think about the suffering of this world and not wonder about how in the world did I get so lucky just to be able to eat, breathe and live. I could choose to continue to avoid unnecessary inconveniences and suffering for myself and live my life with comfort. But that quote, Why would I want to see the world any other way than the way it is? It hits so hard and so deep. The quote above makes me want to see suffering, it makes me want to feel suffering. It makes me want to feel the truth. Because really, at the end, the truth is that we live in a beautiful world that is suffering greatly. Despite all the good that is out there, despite the art, the beauty, the music, the altruism that I know deep in my heart that exists in our world also lies so much pain, so much suffering and so much unnecessary sadness. So many lives go unlived. So many potentials, goals and dreams go unnoticed or realized. Why would I want to see the world in any other way? --- In less than 2 weeks, I will be on a plane for my second project with Doctors Without Borders. I have no idea what to expect. I don’t really know exactly how I feel at the moment because the next few weeks will be busy filled with last minute things that need to be done and a lot of tennis (trying to squeeze in all the tennis that I can before I leave). I have a family who has always supported me to do the crazy things that I choose to do and a wife who understands the importance of not only dreams/goals, but the importance of Dharma and believes in me and my duties in this life. Last, but not least, it is going to be the hardest thing leaving my baby boy. He is 17 months now and he will be almost 2 years old when I get back. I don’t even want to think about not being able to see his smiling face in the mornings and kissing him before he goes to bed at night. Why would I want to see the world in any other way than the way it is? Most importantly is that I am just so lucky. I have been incredibly lucky to have the life that I have right now; to be able to breath, eat and live; the be able to laugh, love and play; to be able to grow, learn and suffer. There’s this obligation somewhere that I don’t really understand. Some people may call it an obligation to maybe God, or the universe, or to just something bigger than myself. I’ve just been given so much good in my life that I have to keep finding ways to keep giving it back.

[iamazadkhan]

New Study Reveals Alarming Cancer Risk in Meat Consumption

According to new research, the data is insufficient to support advising people to consume less beef and pork. Critics claimed that the findings "erode public trust."

What the Research Says?

Because of worries that these foods are connected to heart disease, cancer, and other illnesses, public health experts have long advised Americans to reduce their consumption of red meat and processed meats. To know about the Cancer Risk in Meat we are discussing a lot facts on this post. But in a surprising turn of events, a group of researchers from around the world came to the conclusion on Monday that the advice—which forms the basis of practically all dietary recommendations—is not supported by reliable scientific data. Bradley Johnston, an epidemiologist at Dalhousie University in Canada and the head of the team that published the new research in the Annals of Internal Medicine, stated that "the certainty of evidence for these risk reductions was low to very low."

The New Findings

The new findings, which rank among the largest such reviews ever performed, could affect nutritional advice in the future. They highlight a number of unsettling issues regarding dietary recommendations, nutritional research, and the kind of criteria that should be applied to these studies. Public health researchers have already criticized them harshly. The results and the journal that published them have drawn criticism from the American Heart Association, the American Cancer Society, the Harvard T.H. Chan School of Public Health, and other organizations.

Some More Reviews

In a statement, academics at Harvard warned that the findings "harm the credibility of nutrition science and erode public trust in scientific research," and several called for the journal's editors to postpone publication completely. -Research.” Dr. Frank Sacks, former chair of the American Heart Association's nutrition committee, called the research "fatally flawed." Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine, an organization that promotes a plant-based diet, filed a petition against the journal with the Federal Trade Commission on Wednesday. Particularly beef is more than simply another food item; it served as a beloved emblem of post-World War II wealth and was firmly placed in the middle of the American dinner plate. But from the middle of the 1970s, consumption of beef has progressively decreased, mostly being replaced by poultry as worries about its health implications have grown. The Harvard T.H. Chan School of Public Health in Boston's nutrition department chair, Dr. Frank Hu, stated that red meat was once a sign of high socioeconomic class, but that this was changing. He pointed out that Americans today consume less red meat the more educated they are.

The Final Take

The new papers are the result of three years of effort by a team led by Dr. Johnston, which included 14 researchers from seven different nations and three community leaders. The studies were conducted without any outside support, and the scientists disclosed no conflicts of interest. Although supporters of popular high-protein diets are likely to be pleased with the latest findings, they are almost certain to increase public concern over dietary recommendations that seem to alter every few years. The findings add to a long list of startling dietary changes affecting salt, lipids, carbohydrates, and more. Read the full article

[uniquecollectionhideout]

Shut down Discomforting Smells With Helpful Fundamental Oil Diffusers

Have you been encountering foul smell in your lounge room or room? Did you feel disgusting, while at the same time driving in your vehicle due to the smelling scent? Would you like to leave your kitchen while cooking, when you experience that impactful smell once more? On the off chance that responses to these inquiries are indeed, it is absolutely an ideal opportunity to search for some strong arrangements. Fundamental oil diffusers are a definitive answers for avoid a wide range of dirty smell or scents from your area. Curiously, these fundamental oils have a restorative quintessence and help in reestablishing a harmony between your whole self. 

A ton of people particularly be careful sedating fundamental oil diffuser jugs with themselves any place they go. The motivation behind fundamental oil diffuser jugs is to assist individuals with staying away from sort of inconvenience or disquiet experienced because of some impactful smell or foul scent. To add, a great deal of people can't stand such smells and feel like regurgitating. Likewise, it is recommended, a pregnant female should avoid such disturbing scents as it might make disappointment the developing hatchling inside her. Same is the circumstance with the heart patients, who are prompted by their primary care physicians to avoid unwanted smells. 

Fundamental oils have their establishment from fragrance based treatment. Fragrance based treatment utilizes refined substances of an assortment of plants which prompts the prosperity and strength of our psyches, feelings, and bodies. Despite the fact that, fragrance based treatment has been characterized differently, however it is essentially the way toward diffusing aromas into the air to help individuals in general. The utilization of fragrant healing has been followed since antiquated occasions because of it's property of being remedial in nature. Fundamentally, it is utilized to loosen up the body and thusly assuage the pressure. Be that as it may, fundamental oils diffusers are put away close by blown glass bottles which have a circular base. In contrast to, antiquated diffuser jugs, contemporary diffuser jugs don't contain any plastic parts that would erode when in touch with the oils. Truth be told, on the off chance that you notice legitimate consideration, your diffuser containers will keep going for a long time. Great quality fundamental oil diffusers don't utilize warmth or water to work, keeping the fundamental oil in its normal state as it turns into a fog. 

In the event that you have decided to purchase helpful fundamental oil diffuser jugs, you can look online for charming aromas. Lavender, rose, eucalyptus, cedarwood, sandalwood, grapefruit, and a few different smells can be viewed. You can submit your requests on the web and get these wonderful diffuser jugs hand conveyed.

For more info :- Freshscents Ghana

Freshscents Products in Ghana

Greenleafgifts Ghana

Greenleafgifts Products in Ghana

[digimgl]

Comprehensive Cardiac Care at Care 24 Hospital, Erode

https://care24hospital.in/cardio-intervention-hospital-erode/

Care 24 Hospital is recognized as the best cardiology hospital in Erode, offering exceptional treatment and care for heart-related ailments. With a team of highly qualified experts, we provide world-class care under the guidance of the best heart specialist in Erode and leading cardiologists in Erode. Our hospital is regarded as the top cardiologist hospital in Erode, ensuring accurate diagnoses and effective treatment plans for every patient.

Expert Cardiology Services in Erode

At Care 24 Hospital, we have the best Cardiac doctor Erode who provides expert consultation for all types of heart conditions. Our cardiologist care consultation Erode service is designed to offer patients personalized care and the best medical guidance.

We conduct advanced cardiology diagnostic tests in Erode, including comprehensive cardiology tests in Erode that help in early detection and effective management of cardiac diseases. As a premier Erode cardiac care center, we ensure timely screenings and accurate reports.

Advanced Cardiology Appointments and Services in Erode

For those seeking specialized heart care, we provide seamless Erode cardiology appointment booking services. Our Erode cardiology center appointment system ensures that you receive prompt medical attention from our experts. The Erode cardiology clinic at Care 24 Hospital is equipped with state-of-the-art technology to deliver top-notch Erode cardiology clinic services and unparalleled care.

We specialize in Erode cardiology consultation, where patients receive expert evaluations from our highly trained Erode cardiology expert team. With extensive Erode cardiology expertise, we offer a full range of Erode cardiology services, making us a preferred choice for heart care in the region.

Specialized Cardiovascular and Heart Health Services in Erode

Our hospital is home to experienced Erode cardiovascular specialists who provide expert treatment for various heart conditions. As a leading Erode heart care center, we focus on patient-centric care with specialized treatments. We take pride in being an advanced Erode heart care specialist hospital that caters to all heart-related concerns.

We provide detailed Erode heart check-up programs that cover a variety of tests and screenings. Our Erode heart clinic appointment services ensure quick access to expert consultations and medical evaluations. For accurate Erode heart condition diagnosis, our specialists use cutting-edge technology and expertise to determine the best course of treatment.

Expert Treatment for Heart Disease in Erode

At Care 24 Hospital, our dedicated Erode heart disease specialist team is committed to delivering high-quality heart care. We provide specialized Erode heart disease treatment to address various cardiovascular conditions. With convenient Erode heart doctor appointment booking options, we make it easy for patients to access the care they need.

We offer comprehensive Erode heart health assessment programs that help in the early detection of heart issues. Our expert Erode heart physician team ensures accurate Erode heart screening services, helping patients stay informed about their heart health. If you're looking for the best Erode heart specialist consultation, our hospital provides unmatched expertise in the field.

Trusted Experts in Heart Health in Erode

At Care 24 Hospital, our specialists offer complete Erode heart test and diagnosis services. If you’re searching for an Expert heart doctor Erode, we have the most experienced professionals available. Our Heart disease doctor Erode team is dedicated to providing accurate diagnoses and effective treatments.

For those looking for a Heart doctor near me in Erode, Care 24 Hospital is your go-to healthcare provider. Our team includes the best Heart health expert in Erode, ensuring top-quality care for all heart-related concerns. Whether you require routine check-ups or advanced cardiac procedures, Care 24 Hospital is the trusted name in heart care in Erode.

Book an appointment today and take the first step toward better heart health at Care 24 Hospital, the best cardiology hospital in Erode.

[daysnoches]

Atlantis The Lost Empire

Literacy 

“You mean you can understand this?” “Yes, I’m a linguist. That’s what I do. It’s my job. Now getting back to my question...” “Here you can read this?” “Yes, yes I can read Atlantean. Just like you… You can’t? Can you?”

[Gif of Princess Kidagakash “Kida” Nedakh reading the Shepherd's Journal]

Atlantis was the home continent to a people so advanced that even modern technology could not compete. They were a people of powerful warriors, talented physicians, and were said to be blessed by the gods with a mystical power source. Their own language is considered to be the origins of all human languages. That is a huge influence on other cultures, because language influences how humans see and frame the world. With all their prosperity and influence the Atlanteans’ still fell into the ocean; they became myths. Only those in the capitol survived, buried under the sea. They survive on what little land they had left, with the crystal elongated their lives. This means that the majority of the current adults were alive when their society fell. Yet they are unable to use their own technologies, or even read their own writings.

Cultures do change with time, but it takes more than that to lose an entire writing system, or even a culture. All writings must be destroyed, and anyone who is literate must be disposed of. Those who kept and taught history must be silenced. All of this happened because their king, King Kashekim Nedakh, wanted to conquer the world. But in the king’s own words, he was arrogant and used the Heart of Atlantis. The missed use of the Heart led to his people's destruction. That very destruction was responsible for his wife’s death. He was responsible for his wife’s death. The guilt of all of that and knowing that if the Heart were to be used again the only one capable of being picked would be his daughter Princess Kidagakash Nedakh. He made the choice to protect his daughter.

He ordered all the writings to be destroyed and thrown into the water where they will eventually erode away. As for the people. In many ancient societies only those at the top of the noble class are literate. In many others only the warriors are nobles. They were at war when they fell; many of their warriors either drowned or were crushed. Those left were rounded up by King Nedakh. To avoid a civil war it is probable that King Nedakh tricked them into an out of the way hole, had their crystals confiscated, and left them to die. As a mercy it is probable he poisoned them. To cover the sudden disappearance of an entire class King Nedahk probably told the people that they were sent on a mission to find a way back to the surface. When they did not return it was framed as another lost.

The Atlanteans accepted they were stuck, buried under the ocean. They did the best they could with what they had and continue to live with what little remained. But like the writings tossed into the water they too were eroding away. Princess Nedakh saw this and began to search her history for a way to save her people. Then Milo crashed into her world.

[vexed-to-nightmare-from-chaos]

A Frozen Story

This is not yet a fic, but it might be. Right now it’s just a conglomerate of ideas that I need to have in front of me or I’ll lose em.

To tell the story of Frozen and its sequel, we have to back up all the way to Iduna as a child. In almost every way, she is the crux of everything that happens.

Imagine young Iduna, favored by the four spirits, and none moreso than Gale (she has no name for him, only a lyrical call to which he responds with the greatest speed. I will still call “him” Gale for the purposes of all of this)

She’s curious about the Arendellians, but watches the interactions of Arendelle and the Northuldra from a distance. When Gale whips past Agnarr to pick her up, Iduna thinks he’s prompting her to go out with the others and enjoy the day.

He isn’t.

Gale deposits her in a tree as the fighting reaches the clearing, and she sees everything that happens after. The spirits are angrier than she has ever seen them, responding to the rage of the Knokk’s discovery that when his land needs his help the most, his power within its borders has been reduced to but a trickle by the dam.

Water dwarfs fire and erodes earth, and so those spirits have no chance of defying the Knokk. They are in chaos with him.

But Gale is wind, and wind is notoriously difficult to grasp or manipulate. He sees everything, discerns the Knokk’s intent to lock the forest away.

Iduna calls for him, and he’s pulling apart with the panic of trying to stop what’s about to happen. She calls again. He can’t fail to come when she needs him, and he abandons the scene to get to her.

“You have to help him,” Iduna says, and the boy king is lying hurt in her arms. “He didn’t do anything. He’s a child, he’s not like them!”

Those words are truer than she knows.

He is a child, and Gale – lover of all children and their free spirits and their capacity for change – sees the possibility before him.

If there is ever a hope that things will be restored, it rests with Iduna and Agnarr.

Iduna isn’t expecting Gale to sweep her along too, but he does and he bears them to the horses at the border with frantic speed, though he is infinitely gentle as he deposits them in the cart.

Iduna’s face is uncertain, but she is clever and brave and Gale knows she will find her way. He can only hope that the boy king will grow into a man who will help her save the forest and come back home.The mist descends, and Gale startles the horses.

A last rush of cool air under the blanket and in her ears, loud whispering and an overwhelming sense of loss, and then everything is silent and Gale is gone.

********

When the horse carriage stops, it’s not at the castle, it’s in a grassy field dotted with boulders that turn out to be alive and magical, but not earth spirits.

Still, the oldest of them seems to understand what’s happened and offers to help Iduna. He carefully alters not the memory of Agnarr, but something in Iduna herself.

Arendelle will look at her and see one of their own, a girl who came to them with no past and who had befriended the prince during his many excursions outside of the gates to play.

She can’t help it, she has to ask if it’s true that the spirits have left forever. His smile is kind as he says there is hope, but the details have not yet been made clear. Only that Iduna and Agnarr have a role to play in the future of both lands.

He makes sure to tell her he can feel how much the spirits loved her. Even the Knokk, proud and fierce, recognized in her an unshakable courage.

It doesn’t help Iduna feel much better right away, but the knowledge will comfort her in dark nights ahead.

********

Iduna grows up with her secret safely hidden. Through the resiliency of childhood and her own vivacious spirit, she finds happiness in this strange new world and in Agnarr.

She’s nearly decided to tell him as it becomes more apparent that they are drawn to each other, but when he speaks of the memory of the People of the Sun, the word “magic” falls from his lips with a mix of sadness and distrust.

His eyes still hold curiosity and wonder for the world around him, but that light dims when he mentions magic, and Iduna finds that she can’t risk losing him. Not after losing so much of everything else.

Agnarr grows into a kind and good humored man, and Iduna into a wise and gentle woman with a cold fist of a secret tucked behind her ribs. Her vivaciousness never fades, but there is a kind of loss that lingers in her expression at odd moments.

Agnarr always sees it, and he always takes care to make sure that Iduna knows that he understands she feels as though something is missing. He is kind and steadfast, and he feels no fear of inadequacy when he finds her out on the balcony staring out across the water in the middle of countless nights.

*******

If Iduna could have a painting made of the expression of joy on Agnarr’s face as he watches Iduna and the white-blonde baby girl the physician has lowered into her arms, she thinks might never feel that longing again.

The first time they attend to Elsa’s cries and find the bassinet covered in a fine layer of fuzzy frost, Iduna is terrified. Agnarr misunderstands and reassures her that these things just happen sometimes, nobody had done anything wrong, his love for Elsa will never falter.

She almost tells him then, but the next day he swears the inhabitants of the castle to complete secrecy, and Iduna thinks better of it.

Elsa looks up at her with her own eyes, and Iduna thinks her heart might break.

Could Elsa’s power have been a gift from Gale and the Knokk? It doesn’t make any sense. The Knokk does not forgive easily, and he has been asleep for nearly twenty years now.

********

When Anna comes into their world, Iduna sees Bruni in the hungry way her eyes take in everything, in the way she experiences joy and anger and everything in between at the fullest degree, with hardly any filter. The earth giants are there in her stubborn bottom lip and the purposeful way she approaches everything.

If she seems a little stronger than other children her age, neither of them comment on it out loud.

********

The day Elsa flinches from their touch in fear, Iduna tells him.

His reaction to understanding the secret she’s been carrying for 28 years contains every reason she’s always known that he was the right choice.

“You carried that alone this whole time,” he says with such sorrow that she almost breaks down in his arms. “We can’t let that happen to Elsa too.”

Preparations are made immediately, a coronation of distant family given as an excuse.

Iduna looks at the fear on Elsa’s face as she sees them off and tries to smile reassuringly. She wants nothing more than to be able to tell her everything right this second, but she has to know if they’ve been given to her for a reason. Maybe, just maybe, Ahtohallan can tell them.

*********

They never make it, of course.

*********

Iduna stands with Agnarr’s arm around her waist, looking longingly out at the mist obscuring her home, and there’s suddenly a whip of wind, familiar and playful and tugging at her dress.

Gale makes a mess of everything on the deck in his glee, dancing over and around her cloak and her arms and brushing against her face while they Iduna and Agnarr laugh in delight.

Agnarr bows and thanks Gale sincerely, and he teases the king’s hair in response.

Suddenly Gale goes as still as he ever does, a gently wafting sort of breeze in one spot. Iduna looks around, alert, and the next moment Gale is up the mast and hurling himself into the sails. The ship is big and slow, and there’s a mound rising in the water ahead, just slightly. It’s not going to turn in time.

Cold fear numbs Iduna’s hands, roots her to the spot. The Knokk is here, and he has not forgiven. A horrible truth rising in her with the rapid swell of the waves: whatever the fate of the forest, she and Agnarr will not be there to see it. Her daughters will face the world having only each other.

The water heaves back and up with terrifying force, and she can see him now, beautiful and enraged. The spirits haven’t been sleeping. They’ve been hiding, and Iduna and Agnarr are trespassers.

Gale is rushing at the wave now, blowing sheets of water back over its top, but there isn’t anything he can do.

The shadow towers over the ship; even the crew are standing slack jawed, knees shaking. Iduna is calm, but her heart breaks to think of Elsa and Anna.

Iduna and Agnarr were supposed to come back home with answers.

They were supposed to come back home, period.

Iduna turns and looks up at Agnarr as the roar of water lifts the boat.

“I love you,” she says.

Agnarr holds her, and the world ends.

********

The Nokk retreats back into the ocean, and Gale lifts the wreckage of the ship and brings it to rest in a small bay north of the island.

Time means very little to spirits, but to the Northuldra, it feels like the entire autumn and subsequent winter pass with hardly a breeze. Only when the world around them blooms with the promise of new life can Gale be heard in the trees and felt by the children of the village once more.

********

Three years later, Elsa freezes an entire fjord in the dead of summer. The spirits murmur but do not stir.

Hours later, she creates a castle out of solid ice.

Days later, everything is thawed.

The spirits notice.

Gale may not be able to leave the island, but Gale is the personification of wind, and wind goes where it wishes through any cracks it can.

He gives his voice – Iduna’s voice – to the winds blowing high above and around the forest towards Arendelle, and then he waits.

********

Regarding the true source of Elsa’s powers:

Iduna had been more correct than she knew about Elsa’s power. The reckoning of Gale’s will and The Knokk’s, equal and opposing, had both laid claim to the fate of the forest. As that fate had rested with Iduna, the last connection she felt from them before the severing was the sum of their conflict, and it was passed to Elsa.

Water takes the shape of whatever container it fills, as Iduna had stepped in to fill her role in the future of the forest. Water is patient, and it always gets where it needs to in the end.

Wind is life itself, the breath of everything, the physical experience of being alive. Wind is the desire to keep moving, to never stagnate.

Northuldra have always been magic’s chosen people, and Iduna was the only one to leave with its essence.

Where else would the explosive reckoning of wills have gone?

The Northuldra had told of a fifth spirit – never seen, only rumored.

The rumors never said the spirit existed in the past, and time is a flat circle.

The fifth spirit was a creation of their own making, always there in potential and only realized through catastrophe.

******

I have much more to add, but this is already so long and the rest of it is kind of its own thing anyway (possibly comprised of 2 segments – we’ll see.)

I keep itching to go back up and try to edit this like it’s a proper fic but it’s not, it’s just ideas. If they’re somewhat repetitive or inconsistent, I apologize but my focus is more on getting the fics in my head on paper and editing them instead.

I haven’t worked out what this means for Ahtohallan as a place that would have ostensibly already existed, since it’s on a map. The only thing I can think is that all combinations of spirits have homes elsewhere in nature: Earth + Fire = Volcano, Fire + Water = Geyser, and so on. It just happened that since Elsa’s powers come from the opposing wills of the Knokk (who dwarfed the other two) and Gale, the conflict manifested as ice.

Iduna carried the essence and the favor of all four spirits, and Anna’s gifts were from the two spirits diminished by the Knokk’s will and manifested almost solely in her attributes, with a little bit of extra strength (and some very red hair, perhaps.)

Between the two of them, all four spirits are accounted for. To me, that feels correct in order to truly have a bridge with two sides. And it feels truer than the idea of an entirely separate fifth spirit. The fifth spirit would be the bridge they made, not just Elsa, and they form less of a separate entity and more a representation of the sum of their parts.

[wisdomrays]

TAFAKKUR: Part 86

Biorhythms and Time Management: Part 1

And We made your sleep to be rest (to you) and the night to be a covering. (Qur'an 78:9-10)

Most time management experts agree that the essence of time management is self-management. A successful time management strategy requires the setting of goals, and then assigning priorities and identifying important activities that help achieve these goals. People then will organize their time into a 'time map' (just like a floor map), writes Morgenstern, and place important activities in fixed blocks of time.

This general strategy, which has worked for many, requires strong willpower. According to Taylor, it is 'self-management with respect to time.' We can achieve more important goals by increasing the time we spend on them and/or by increasing our productivity. To use our mind and body in the most effective manner, we need to understand the psychological and physiological aspects of our selves and act accordingly. This article considers the relationship of hormones, our body's biorhythms, and self-management with respect to time.

Hormones

Hormones, which are produced in certain parts of the body, are chemical signaling molecules that travel to another site to have an effect. Many researchers believe that these messenger molecules are the basic channels of mind-body communication. The periodic release of messenger molecules regulates our mind-body activities, but this does not mean that we are controlled by our hormones. We know that our thoughts, attitudes, and emotions can influence the release and flow of these messenger molecules just as they can influence our thinking, feeling, and behavior. By focusing on positive thoughts, we can induce the secretion of hormones associated with calmness and serenity, and vice versa (the mind-body communication flows both ways). Let's examine several important hormones that regulate our energy, stress, activity, and rest.

Energy and stress hormones. Energy is crucial for performance. Two important hormones, among others, are secreted to provide a steady level of energy for the brain and other organs: insulin and glucagon. Insulin, released when the blood sugar level increases, helps various organs consume sugar and hence decreases the blood sugar level. Glucagon, the other pancreatic hormone, tends to raise the blood sugar level.

Both hormones work together to help maintain the blood's normal level of glucose so that this critical energy source's supply is always constant and even. While different bodily organs can use other forms of sugar for energy with the help of insulin, the brain's only energy source is glucose. Therefore, it is vital to maintain a steady level of glucose in the bloodstream for the brain's healthy functioning.

Insulin is important because its excessive release causes large fluctuations in the blood sugar level, which affects our mental performance. High glycemic index foods, such as high-carbohydrate and sugar-loaded processed foods (e.g., cookies, cakes, sweet carbonated drinks etc.) raise the blood sugar level too quickly when they are digested. The body responds by releasing insulin, which causes the blood sugar level to drop too much.

Normally, various bodily mechanisms collaborate to ensure that the glucose level remains within certain limits. But if the brain cannot get enough glucose, it first may reduce its activity in the form of sleepiness or unconsciousness. Continued deprivation may cause brain damage and even death. To achieve maximum mental performance, high glycemic index foods should be avoided, and steady blood sugar levels should be maintained.

The adrenals glands, located just above the kidneys, often are referred to as the stress glands, because we could not survive stress without them. Cortisol, DHEA, and adrenaline are the three adrenal stress hormones that raise blood pressure and heartbeat. Under their influence, glycogen is converted to glucose for additional energy. A normal adrenal rhythm will produce correct amounts of these adrenal stress hormones at appropriate times during the day.

Occasional surges of stress hormones temporarily raise the heart rate, blood pressure, and mental acuity so that the task at hand can be accomplished. They give us the energy to escape danger, fight (verbally, psychologically, or physically), and generally survive the pressures of our lives. The downside is that too much of this activity erodes our health in insidious but serious ways. An excess of stress hormones compromises health, from damaging blood vessels to weakening the immune system. Some physicians blame stress for most disease.

Stress hormones play an important role in time management. Natural stress hormone secretion is at its peak during the early morning so that it can awaken the body and prepare it for the day. Cortisol and insulin secretions reach their maximum around 6:00 am, and we awaken. Lubeck states that German researchers have discovered that two hormones, ACTH and cortisol, send a message that alerts the brain. Even the blood's contents are enriched to get ready for the day. The early morning increase in stress hormones is part of our circadian biorhythm, and we can take advantage of it by scheduling demanding activities at this time.

However, an artificial increase in stress hormones may sometimes hurt us. A frequent cause for excess stress is the use of such stimulants as cola drinks (e.g., Coca Cola and Pepsi) and coffee. When trying to focus on a task, mental clarity is very important. When we are under stress, we may find it hard to concentrate and thus spend a lot of time to achieve very little. Continued stress depletes our energy and prevents us from undertaking important tasks. An abnormal release of stress hormones also affects our REM sleep, which is very important for memory consolidation. People who find it hard to wake up in the morning may suffer from an abnormal stress hormone cycle.

Some neurohormones such as pinoline and DMT, which are linked to spiritual imagery, reflection, and out-of-body experiences, are secreted at their peak level around midnight. Early Islamic scholars, following Prophet Muhammad's tradition of night prayer, used to wake up at midnight for reflection, study, and prayer. The discovery of these hormones may explain why this time of day might be the best time for such activities.

The rest hormone. The pineal gland's cells secrete the hormone melatonin in a 24-hour (circadian) cycle. The amount remains low during the daylight hours but increases during the nighttime hours. Melatonin regulates the 24-hour circadian biorhythms, and its secretion is affected by light. As a biological timekeeper, melatonin is critically involved in synchronizing hormone secretion and is responsible for regulating many biorhythms, including the sleep-wake cycle.

Since it is the 'rest hormone,' it generally is more productive to rest when its secretion is high, namely, the dark hours. Trying to work or study with the help of caffeine and other stimulants despite increased melatonin levels is like fighting the body's natural rest and healing systems. Students sometimes cram on the night before the exam. While this strategy may work for short periods, continued disruption of the body's rest cycle may leave the person weak and susceptible to diseases. Melatonin secretion turns off around 8:00 am.

[rhiannonroot]

BOOK REVIEW: ‘Being Mortal’ by Atul Gawande

Content warning: This book deals with aging and dying, if you are remotely sensitive to this topic, you may want to skip it.

Atul Gawande’s “Being Mortal” is one of the most important nonfiction books I’ve read in a long time. There’s never an easy time to read about the declining years, but I know after reading this I’m going to be more open about this subject with my loved ones.

Gawande is a surgeon and brings a medical perspective to aging and oh, boy, it’s rough and a little scary at points. I finally understand why so many folks in vampire stories are like “Screw aging, I wanna be a vampire!”

Unfortunately, vampirism isn’t an option.

With warmth and heart, Gawande shares cases about illness and dying. There’s one story about a mother with cancer that was particularly difficult to read. The woman had a horrible form of cancer and it’s one of those awful forms where you’re toast sooner rather than later. But because the woman was so optimistic about treatments and rallying, her doctors kept putting her on treatments that eroded all her strength and made her last days miserable. Worse, because she was such an optimist, there wasn’t a plan in place for how to handle her last wishes.

YEP. It’s awful. It haunts me.

Gawande makes the point that there’s usually something that doctors can do for treatments because of the nature of medical technology, but that doesn’t necessarily mean it’s a good idea or that patients should pursue it. (He advocates pretty hard for hospice care.) Sometimes the treatments are worse than accepting that you will die of an illness.

And, again, when you have that shift in perspective your final days can be more fulfilling and meaningful, don’t we deserve that?

Another tough story is when Gawande talks about his father’s final years. It was emotional and tugged at all my heartstrings.

Here’s where the book stumbles a little for me, there’s some talk about systemic issues (particularly poverty) in how we treat our elderly and disabled folks, but Gawande doesn’t really about how to solve these problems. And he only briefly ever mentions physician-assisted suicide and says how he’s not a fan of it. (Fair, but I wanted more detail.)

But the important thing here is to have these conversations about death and dying with your loved ones and what you want in your last days. While we all hope these days are in the far, far future, it’s better to begin this difficult and ongoing conversation now and make sure your wishes are known.

[jedimaster941]

A Declaration of Lost Independence

A Declaration of Lost Independence

As we get older, as we live life, like stone eroding under the power of crashing waves, our bodies break down. And as our bodies break down, we become more and more unable to do things. Sometimes not to the standard we once did, and sometimes we lose the ability completely. We lose things that bring us joy, and we lose things that bring us to life. Whether it be slowly or quickly, we all lose our independence. Aging is something, like it or not, we have all signed up for. We will get older, our bodies will break down, and we will lose our overall independence. It’s not ideal, but we understand it to be true.

For Chronically ill people, however, we can lose our independence rather suddenly, and it has absolutely nothing to do with natural aging. If someone aged 78 years has trouble walking, getting dressed, or going to the bathroom, very few would question it. But imagine you are 28 years old and you have the same difficulties. Think of how you would feel. In this article I will discuss the ways in which people with chronic illness lose their independence in the areas of physical, mental, social, and dietary, and the toll it takes on us when the things that we should be able to do becomes out of reach.

*This post features responses from chronically ill patients whom I asked…*

------------------------------

Physical

Loss of physical independence is the area that most people think about when illness takes over. It is at least the most public. People see wheelchairs, walkers, canes, crutches, and handicapped placards. They are also readily aware when someone takes a little longer to stand up, when they have trouble buttoning a shirt, or their handwriting becomes illegible. If someone gets to know a disabled person well enough they may also become aware of PIK lines, feeding tubes, and colostomy bags among others.

When someone is chronically ill/disabled their bodies are the primary victim of their disease. In one way or another, our bodies are malfunctioning. As my primary care physician said to me once, “We are all getting older, you're a just doing it a lot faster”. (If anyone is curious, I did not take offense, I appreciated that he acknowledged my illness and my lack of certain abilities)

Our independence is very much directly lost in these examples. We lose the ability of climb stairs, walk short distances, wash ourselves, cook food, and one I’d like to discuss a little more, exercise.

Doctors and online experts tell us we need to exercise. I can’t disagree with that. Exercise is important to keeping what we have left tip top. However, when we can’t climb stairs, walk short distances, or wash ourselves, how do you expect us to get the the gym to do some Cross Fit? I know for me, exercise of any kind hurts and has lasting effects. Some of my readers may remember how not long ago I walked a peppy poodle for half a mile and my legs hurt for three days after. This wasn't from being out of shape, this was due of my condition. Yes, exercise, but understand sometimes it's more harm than help.

I used to be a distance runner, a golfer, and could give the best piggy back rides. Now, due to Ankylosing Spondylitis, I can’t do any of that. And believe me when I tell you, that hurts me mentally as well.

Mental

With chronic illness and disability there comes a mental toll as well. Both in the areas of cognitive ability, and depression.

First, let's touch on cognitive ability which will then (as all of these sections do) we will move on to depression.

I imagine many of my readers are already well versed in the words and terminology used in the discussion of chronic illness. However, if you are new to this world, let me share a term that I, and all of us use probably on a daily basis: “Brain Fog”.

Brain Fog is exactly what it sounds like, a thick layer of fog on your brain. You know how hard it is to see through a covering of fog? Now, imagine that fog is in your head and your brain is trying to see thoughts, feelings, and ideas through it. It’s not easy and often things are lost.

Brain fog is caused by pain and the inability to actually shut down and rest. When people go to sleep their bodies and minds go into power saver mode to recharge, refresh, and do diagnostics checks. However, what happens when you drink caffeine, or you eat a big meal before bed? Well, if you can sleep, your body has now been given other things to work on. The caffeine makes your heart work harder, and your body needs to work to digest that big meal. So what happens? You don’t wake up rested because your body never actually got any rest. The same thing happens every night for people with chronic illness, but without the caffeine and steak dinner. In my case, with Ankylosing Spondylitis, my body is always working to fight off a foreign invader known as the lining between my joints. (I guess it’s actually a domestic invader) For most of us, because of constant pain, we can never get comfortable and even when we do sleep, we aren't actually resting. This lack of true sleep causes our brains to process at a diminished rate limiting our abilities to remember, problem solve, and function.

When I go to the doctor, I bring my wife. Not because I need a supportive hand, but because I need a partner and coach to help me tell the doctor what I need to say, and then remember what the doctor tells me. There have been times I have come home from an appointment solo and either forgot what treatment we discussed or, through my fogginess, made up something completely different because I could have sworn the doctor said she wanted to try bloodletting. (Or was it Methotrexate? I can’t remember) Although I love my wife, and I will always welcome her to join me at an appointment, I'm 37 years old, I shouldn't need someone to be my brain while the doctor checks out my body. While I am not depressed about this, this loss of mental and physical independence can also lead to depression.

I used to run, and I loved running. When my health got worse I took up walking long distance. However, only a few short years later, I couldn't even walk short distances without great pain and weakness. I was 34 the last time I walked with any kind of purpose. Far too young to lose so much ability. When I see people out running, or I drive past the local health club with overly large windows, I get sad longing for my glory days. When I watch American Ninja Warrior I’m sometimes heartbroken. Believe it or not, I used to be able to do stuff like that. It’s crushing to think that somebody actually has the freedom to wake up in the morning, pop up out of bed, and then think to themselves “Well, I think I will run 10 miles, shower, go to work, spend an hour at the gym, play with my kids, and then get 8 hours of restful sleep before doing it all over again.” Here I am thinking, “I hope I can get out of bed.”

Chronic illness can take a great toll on our mental state and subsequent independence.

-------------

Diet

With the chronic illness life, more often than not it seems, comes a list of dietary restrictions. 90% (not actual figures) of life comes from our gut. What we eat and drink. Other than breathing and IV treatments, it’s the only way anything gets into the factory known as our bodies. So, there is much stress put on us by our doctors, friends, family, TV, and the woman on the corner to eat right to better our condition. And not everyone is wrong. There are certain things that improve or worsen our condition. We will listen to the “experts” and try certain things. Excluding things like sugar, dairy, nightshades, and gluten. Or “fad diets” like Paleo, Keto, Vampire, or Atkins.* We might even try Kale! Many of us will try anything if it means we reduce our pain and get a little life back. But, the more foods we give up, the more independence we lose.

Personally this area has been my biggest struggle. Two years ago I went dairy free at the suggestion of a nutritionist, and one year ago I totally cut out sugar. And, I won’t lie, excluding both of those have been fantastic for me! I may not always notice the improvement, but if I happen to slip up on purpose of by accident, I certainly notice then. I am solid and confident in my sugar free/dairy free life, and for the most part I am happy.

However, this does not mean everything is butterflies and unicorns. I still struggle as I’m sure many many of my chronically ill brothers, sisters, and non-binary siblings do. Two examples: My birthday, and the ice cream aisle. On my birthday my co-workers wanted to know what to get me for my party. Typically the birthday treat is cupcakes and fudge. Hello sugar and milk! After much thought, I received the treat of peanuts and pickles. (And I didn't complain) However, it didn’t mean it didn't hurt. My co-workers needed to avoid yummy delicious treats because of my AS. They were supportive, but it didn’t mean I didn’t feel like a party pooper. As for the ice cream aisle, they have dairy free ice cream, and they have sugar free ice cream, but as a friendly store clerk told me, diary free & sugar free ice cream isn't ice cream. I'm out of luck there.

When it comes to dairy and sugar, I have lost my independence. People need to accommodate for me. Oftentimes meaning they might miss out on what they want. When my school does nacho day, frozen custard day, cookie day, etc for staff wellness days, I’m the only one not well. I could tell the people that sorry I can’t eat this, but that opens me up to feeling bad for making them feel bad.

Or when you need to find out if a restruant is accessible. Many would think that with all the handicapped parking spots all places would also be accessible. This is not always true. I have seen places where the "accessible" table is in a door way or up against a wall. The freedom to go to any restaurant one wants is never a guarantee.

When friends want to go out those of us with diet restrictions need to be “that guy/girl”. The one who has hard opinions on what we can eat. Ever stand behind the person at Starbucks who insists on soy milk and Stevia? Have you ever thought “Just take your coffee and drink it! You're holding up the line!” Yeah, that’s us, the ones holding up the line. Doesn't feel good.

We are jealous of those people who can eat whatever they want. Go to any restaurant, order anything off the menu, and even have dessert. This isn't about gaining weight, it's about being able to get out of bed in the morning.

Social

The next topic of how we lose our social independence ties into the three topics above and any others I have not mentioned. Humans are meant to be social. We aren't bears where we can just crawl into our cave and sleep for a few months. If any human crawled into a cave, nobody would be friends with them. Why? Because interacting is one of the standards of human life. We need other people! Sure, there are the mountain folk who go out, kill a deer, make clothing from it, light a fire and live their life in seclusion. (And there is nothing wrong with that) But, most humans need other people to cook our food, make our clothes, work on projects, drive us, and socialize purely for fun. The problem is, for many chronically ill people, getting out of the house and socializing sounds equal to climbing up and living in a mountain.

We are exhausted! Chronic illness takes a lot out of us! Every day can be a struggle to move, breathe, think, and complete other daily activities. Showering can be one of the most difficult activities for some. Doing laundry is pure hell! When most people hate it for the fact they have to do it, for me, folding makes me want to die! Seriously, I don't fully know why, but it hurts so much and takes so much out of me. After doing everything we have to do, we don’t have energy left for what we want to do.

I come home from work, my shoes come off, and I’m done! Very little is going to convince me to put my shoes back on and go out with friends when all I want to do is sleep. Because of this, many chronically ill people are forgotten. We bail on friends two or three times, and they just stop inviting us. But, then we have a good day, we are ready to accept an invite. Do we take it? No. Why? Because, we feel good now, we don’t know if we will feel good later.

Chronic illness symptoms can come in waves. We can have good days (or at least the start of a day) but then we drop. We don’t always know why we drop, but our feelings and mood are in no way guaranteed. So, we don’t risk it. It’s far better to be at home near our bed than 30 minutes away with a group of people you will need to apologize to for leaving early. Declining the invite or simple ghosting is far easier and less harmful to our psyche.

-----------------

Chronically ill patients lose all sorts of independence. We can not truly live free with AS, Fibro, EDS, POTS, Lyme, MS, ME or one of the many other chronic illnesses that totally sap us of life. We are not free do do as we like.

While others wake up and get to choose between running, biking, partying, fixing cars, eating amazing food, and/or playing with their kids. We wake up and.. well.. that's it.

In closing. If you know a person with a disability/chronic illness try to be understanding of their limitations. Don’t give them a hard time when they can't do everything you want them to. Our lives are hard enough dealing with all the independence we may have lost.

*I might have made up one of these diets

[northamptoncouplestherapy]

What Can I Do Instead of Couples Therapy?

Contrary to what many marriage therapists will tell you, couples therapy is not rocket science.

In my couples therapy fantasies, everyone would attend couples therapy for preventative and wellness care. We’d see couples for a quick tune-up and send them on their way. Marriages on the cusp of catastrophe or locked in years of gridlock and loneliness would be a rare occurrence. We’d be more like primary care physicians who emphasize wellness than cardiologists who do open-heart surgery.

But those are my fantasies, not reality.

The reality is the average couple waits six years to seek marriage counseling from the onset of a problem. That everyday relationship challenges like bumps in communication and differences in spending habits metastasize. Cracks turn into chasms, and trust erodes. Love rarely dies from one swift blow. It more often fades (think death by a thousand cuts) slowly over the years. When COVID-19 hit, it created a national mental health crisis, and this crisis was not unique to individuals; it hit families and couples—hard. For the first time in 10+ years, people calling my center routinely burst into tears when we told them we had no openings—that the wait for a weekly therapist was indefinitely long. Desperate spouses reiterated intake after intake that they were hitting a wall—that most couples therapists were not even returning their calls, and they feared there was nowhere (or way) for them to receive help.

So I set about doing what I always do when I feel I’ve hit a roadblock. I scratched my head and took a deep dive into creative brainstorming. I got to work.

What (if anything) could I offer couples on the brink and people who can’t attend couples therapy? Is it even possible to digitally provide a quality, impactful and meaningful service that benefits failing relationships as much as marriage counseling; or, even better, a private couple retreat? I was skeptical for sure.

Ultimately, I landed on the idea of creating my signature (digital) class, Crisis to Connected (C2C). I knew from the get-go I had my work cut out for me as I was determined that the course hit multiple benchmarks (I’m a stickler for quality); otherwise, I’d be wasting people’s time and money (and my own).

As I gear up to launch Crisis to Connected again, I’m more excited than ever. C2C continues to improve each time I teach it because I enhance it based on the feedback I receive from C2C students every time the class ends. I can confidently say that C2C is the most comprehensive program for helping you break free from gridlock and crisis in your relationship and in supporting you with better communication, deeper connection, and repair that sticks.

Why?

C2C is Interactive

As a relationship expert, I built C2C to be interactive because you need to have a relationship with me to trust me. In my experience, couples who trust me are more likely to do the hard work and improve their relationships. It’s my job to earn your trust, and I do that by showing up wholeheartedly, with my humanity, skills, humor, knowledge, and passion for helping people to love well. Plus, my relationship with you allows me to create the best digital class possible by keeping a pulse on your unique needs and situations. The last thing I want is to have C2C be another cookie-cutter online class; for you to feel alone during an already lonely time. I built C2C to be a pillar of support, with me as your guide as you navigate the class materials and exercises.

Additionally, I’ve designed each module (there are seven) to be released weekly: one at a time. And every week, I devote a third of the 90-minutes in each class to live Q&A. Plus, I’ve discovered a fantastic tool called Videoask. Videoask allows you to send me a message (via video, audio, or text) and for me to respond (via video, audio, or text). The communication is “asynchronous,” so my responses are personalized, and there is a back and forth quality to the interactions. Through Videoask, I offer supplemental relationship coaching to the weekly modules and where to go from here feedback.

C2C is Customizable

Some of us are visual learners, and some of us prefer audio. Some people like to take deep dives (I’m in that camp), and others want to sample or handpick what they need and disregard the rest. For this reason, I built C2C to cater to a range of people, styles, and needs. Whether you are flying solo due to a reluctant partner refusing to attend couples therapy or want specific guidance in healing from an affair, the class has modules, resources, and tools to support you. You can take what you need and save the rest for later.

Lifetime Access

Nothing frustrates me more than spending money on a class only to find out I have access to it for three months, and then it’s gone! Once you pay for C2C, you have lifetime access to it. Including Videos, modules, homework assignments, resources, worksheets, and your complimentary copy of Developing Habits for Relationship Success, Brent Atkinson’s groundbreaking book on how to end gridlock and empower yourself (and your partner) to get unstuck and heal from betrayals.

C2C is Affordable

I built C2C to be affordable. Couples therapy (even with insurance benefits) can cost well over a thousand dollars. Private retreats (due to the nature of skill and time involved) start on average at $3500. C2C covers everything you would get in one year worth of therapy or private intensive(s) with me. Plus, the cost of a failed marriage is immeasurable. C2C is $975, including everything: Videoask coaching support for the entire duration of the course, 7 Modules, The Ultimate C2C Relationship Resource Libary, a personalized copy of Developing Habits for Relationship Success, Worksheets, Exercises, Downloads, and more.

C2C Emphasizes Quality Over Quantity

There is a reason I only offer C2C two times a year, which is the same as why I don’t have a collection of couples therapists scattered all over the US. It takes years for me to train a solid couples therapist. NCCT comprises a handful of phenomenal relationship experts we’ve handpicked based on talent, brains, life experience, and a passion for helping couples through tough times.

The reality is if I produced C2C for the masses, I would not be able to offer much of what makes it exceptional. Things like supplemental relationship coaching via Videoask and Atkinson’s Developing Habits for Relationship Success workbook. Most importantly, I would not get to know you or be able to customize each class to meet your needs and requests.

C2C is Private

When your relationship is struggling or in crisis, you feel vulnerable. Even if you don’t succumb to the stigma inherent in a culture that romanticizes couplehood, it is understandable to crave privacy while working through the tough stuff. To want to avoid suffering unnecessarily from the angst that you will bump into a neighbor or colleague virtually. To want to protect your children from more information than is good for them when things in your marriage are uncertain and without resolution. Given this, I’ve built C2C to provide you with total anonymity. You will be able to see me, interact with me, and participate in discussions, but you can opt to keep your face and name confidential and any correspondence we have. Because even though C2C is a relationship class, I treat it with the same privacy standards I apply to all healthcare information, not because I have to, but because I get that your privacy is essential.

(Most importantly) C2C is Hopeful

I believe that couples therapy is not rocket science; that the field of marriage therapy sometimes takes itself too seriously and under-emphasizes the power and potential inherent in every individual and, in turn, every couple. With the proper tools, knowledge, and practice, you can have sparks flying from your fingertips that are game-changing in love and that you never have to set foot in a couples therapist’s office to accomplish this if you are committed to the work. Relationship wellness is doable, and C2C is the most comprehensive roadmap if you are stuck in relationship-limbo-hell or crisis. That’s why I have C2C students offering testimonials like:

“This online course resulted in more breakthroughs in understanding my partner than years of therapy had previously accomplished.”

If your relationship is in crisis or stuck in gridlock, or you are on the fence and unable to decide whether couples therapy, a private retreat, or a digital class is right for you, consider attending my upcoming webinar, Is My Marriage Worth Saving? I am offering it three times in the coming months. Plus, there will be a live Q&A with me at the end of each discussion.

Talk With An Expert.

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Grace Notes 2

I spent a week as part of a team of friends and family sitting vigil for Maureen, who lay dying. A long eroding illness had occupied her last few years and she had successfully integrated into a wonderful hospice program which I believe prolonged her life through exemplary care. When we all got the call that she was suddenly and rapidly deteriorating, we answered.

A good deal of life is about just showing up. It would appear that the same is true of death. Maureen’s body had suffered greatly while her mind remained sharp and full until it began to show some cracks a week before her death. Who knows if her lucidity was affected most by pain, fear, fatigue, brain tissue deterioration, or most likely some evil cocktail of all of those things. Her pre-approval  for legal physician-assisted death came with the proviso that once she chose her date, there must exist a 10 day window of time in which she could change her mind. But when Maureen began to lose ground, the lapses in her lucidity invalidated her ability to invoke assisted suicide. It was also highly unlikely she would survive the 10 days.  Either way, it was a cruel twist in a carefully engineered self-determined plan. She had wanted to have a party with all of us and then quietly slip away into a bedroom for her final curtain. We knew she didn’t want any of us to see her suffer, to witness the messiness of a body shutting down and the very personal, mildly invasive professional care that would entail. We showed up anyway.

A handful of women went in and out of Maureen’s lovely hospice room, in shifts, to the best of our abilities. When someone you love is dying, life otherwise goes on and must be factored in to the schedule. She’d turned 69 last December and most of us are within 10 years of her age either way. We have learned our limits and are realistic about how best to cope. We all knew we would be there as much for one another as for Maureen, and through the process of bearing witness together, would come to know one another better.

Texting made things a little easier. We kept one another apprised of Maureen’s status as it changed: “She opened her eyes for a bit, she seemed to respond to the music.” We kept tabs on who was coming and who was going from the room, trying to ensure that one or more of us could be with her always. A couple of days into the process, a Saturday, the Director of the hospice came in to prepare the staff for Maureen’s departure as she had been with them 16 months and formed many heartfelt bonds. On shift or not, they each came in to say goodbye. We tried to give every one who came the courtesy of a few minutes alone with Maureen, to speak their hearts as they might, in privacy and sacredness. Saying a final goodbye is indeed sacred; even when its wordless. 

Over 7 days, we saw at various times Maureen’s twisting physical pain, watching in trust as the nurses adjusted and added medications to reduce her constant, relentless tremors. She hallucinated, not from the medications, but from some battle within herself to gain any modicum of control over the spiralling conflict between “here” and “not here”. Her emaciated face was a movie screen of emotions. We could see the terror so clearly in frantic eye tics, deeply furrowed brows and a grimacing, gasping mouth. She tried so hard to express herself, to release words. We sat in turns at her bedside, murmuring soft soothing sounds, stroking her face, holding her hand.  In the middle of one rather harrowing night, she convulsed her knees to her chest and amid the wails, we heard very clearly: “I huuuurt!” The nurses were right there, doing everything they knew how to do, but it took 2 hours before Maureen retreated into an exhausted sleep.  At 8 am the next morning, she opened her eyes and responded to the nurse’s cheerful good morning with a smile and: “Good Morning Shannon” in answer. We were stunned, but cheered her for the gift of that moment, and hoped she recalled nothing of the night before. Those were her last pain-free words. Over the next days, she spoke hardly at all, made few sounds beyond a yawn or a sigh. All of her energies went into the rasping rhythm of one breath after another after another.

There could be up to 6 of us in the room at any given time. It is a large room painted butter yellow, high-ceiling-ed, with one wall a bank of white shutters overlooking the garden. Staff wheeled a tray of coffee and snacks into the anteroom. The vase of black licorice was a special hit. Stories constantly flew across and around Maureen’s bed and I wondered how much of them she heard, whether she was frustrated at not being able to get her two cents in, to participate in the surprising amount of laughter. We tried hard to include her in the conversation.

“Redhead, pee the bed, 5 cents a cabbage head! Maureen you are shaking so much, do you have a vibrator under there? ” teased her middle sister.

Some stories referenced the traumas in Maureen’s life, including the death of her only son less than 2 years ago. Did we contribute to her discomfiture I wonder?

Those stories were the touchstones between we handful women of who may have known Maureen originally in different ways but over time and through her became more familiar with one another. Most of us were at her son’s wedding, and also at her husband’s funeral. We may have danced in a circle at a fundraiser or sat across committee tables in heated discussion. We may have met over a meal or at a political protest. At the hospice, we found ourselves balancing cups of tea on the couch in the fire-lit parlour while PSWs tended to Maureen’s body and bedclothes, and we tried to reconcile the elegantly-dressed hummingbird of the ready-made laugh, with the wizened, crepe-draped skeletal wisp under the quilts in Room 1. It took its toll on each of us, but we offered it with clear hearts.

There is a rare intimacy in the wait for merciful death. When you sit either side of a bed, in the dimmed light, taking turns swabbing parched lips with a lollipop sponge ; when your eyes meet across the divide, something changes in both of you, forever. The maelstrom of emotions you share when your dying friend is trying to cry, or the relief that comes when at last she sleeps without tremors and you stop holding your breath for her...it forms a fierce bond between witnesses. Some moments we share, we will simply never forget.

Each one of us in some way tried to help Maureen die. We gave her “permission” in reassuring her that it was okay to go, that we would be fine, that we would watch over her loved ones in her stead. We reminded her that perhaps her son, her husband, her parents, were waiting somewhere to assist her transition into whatever comes after this life. We sat with the musicians who played and sang at her bedside, songs of comfort and of peace: Hallelujah, Imagine, I Believe In Angels, What a Wonderful World. We wept or sang along with them. There is a 20 minute video of the day staff clustered around Maureen’s bed, all of them singing her and themselves into solace.

I think in the final 24 hours of her life, we all managed to spend a little time in Room 1. There is a comfy chair by the window, and when one of us was holding Maureen’s head, offering the energies of Reiki, she remarked: “Well, that’s a first. I felt her swirling above the bed in time to the music on the radio.” We speculated jokingly that perhaps the chair was a portal between worlds.  Maureen was very much a dancer, and a figure skater, when her legs were still free. From her room, I took a homemade CD on which someone has written: “The Best of Gloria Estefan”, because it will make me sing and dance in the car on long trips,and I will feel Maureen in the music. But not yet, not yet.

I re-read a poem a friend had suggested, just before I said my own final goodbye at 10pm on a Friday night:

You have been called from the place of your dwelling,

After times, after, duties, after separations.

May blessed soul-friends guide you,

May helping spirits lead you,

May the Gatherer of Souls call you,

May the homeward path rise up under your feet

And lead you gladly home. (Caitlin Matthews, Celtic Devotional)

The woman who was with Maureen as she took her final breaths about 2 am on Saturday morning said this:” ...it was so sweetly, peacefully, and so quickly over...”

The calls and texts began and the relief spread like fresh honey through the circle of women whose week had been focused on safely seeing a beloved friend, and one another, home. In time, we will gather once more, as you do, for some kind of farewell service and a meal. We will giggle and reminisce, but among the toasts we will quietly raise a glass to ourselves as well, for fearfully, but also so fully, sharing the gift of showing up. Sweetest of dreams, Maureen.

[proketobuy2]

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