how it started: 2 FULL bags of gummy clusters, no cat whiskers, 2 water bottles downed, level needing to pee: 0
how it ended: 0.5 bags of gummy clusters left, cat whiskers, 6 water bottles downed, level needing to pee: 7 (+ 2 office siren sister daniel sketches)
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On the Road, Just the Two of Us
Chapter Four: An Electric Razor and Just the Two of Us
Masterpost | First | Previous | Next | Ao3
Summary: This was written for @dukeceit-week-2024, @dukeceitweek
Janus and Remus are living in a campervan at the moment. Are they going somewhere? Who knows. The only thing that’s important is that they’re together.
Content Warnings: Innuendos, Hair cutting
🌻🌻🌻🌻
“Remus, hold still,” Janus growled after having had to jerk the electric razor away from Remus head. He was trying to touch up on his boyfriend’s undercut, but Remus was practically vibrating in his chair which made his work incredibly hard.
“I don’t want to take your ear off, so stop wriggling.”
“I caaaaan’t,” Remus whined. “I’m too worked up. Maybe if you give me a hand-“
“No.”
“Ugh, you’re no fun!”
“We are in the middle of dying your hair and cutting it! I’m not gonna get you off!”
“This is the fucking worst.”
“Stop being dramatic. That’s your brother’s job.”
Remus started giggling and that made holding still only even more impossible. Janus sighed and clicked the razor off.
“I have no idea how any professional deals with you.”
“I don’t either! But I tip well!”
“How generous of you,” Janus quipped, and Remus grinned at him, showing off his teeth. “Anyway, we’re in a motel for once, a place with actual appliances that has decent sanitary standards, and I want to get this done, so can you please cooperate?”
“I’m really trying, Jan, but it’s hard to. You’re so close I can smell you! You know I can’t control myself around you. I wanna eat you up already!”
“Fine, a compromise then.”
Remus looked at him with a raised brow and Janus smirked at him before straddling his lap and sitting down heavily. His boyfriend groaned at the sudden increase of weighed and his hands flew to Janus’ hips immediately.
“Now, this I like,” he purred after his brain caught up with the situation, his hands starting to lightly massage Janus’ sides.
“I thought you would. Now, I’m gonna continue cutting your hair. Which means, you turn your head how I want and no jostling me. You can feel me up a bit if you must, but no distractions! We have to wash out the dye soon and I want to be done with this before then.”
“Fuck yeah!”
The next five minutes, Janus carefully directed Remus’ head around to get an even cut, as his boyfriend let his hands wander around his body, sometimes squeezing the flesh lightly but mostly just… touching. It felt nice.
“Alright, I think I’m done. Now let’s get that dye out.”
“Thanks, Janny. You’re amazing.”
Janus smiled and pulled Remus into a kiss.
“So are you. Now c’mon, I wanna see my handsome man in all his glory.”
“Yessir.”
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my pro tip if you're on T and starting to grow facial hair and you were at first really excited but as it grew in you start to feel like something nebulously "looks bad" in your appearance: you should try styling or shaving your beard. not like shave it off but square it up and make some clean lines. obviously you don't NEED to do this and plenty of cis men do not and it really doesn't impact your appearance that much— but this is about how you feel about how you look. and especially if you learned to shave on your own i think you sometimes miss out on/are slower learning some of the smaller things like the different ways you can shave or about how long you feel comfortable going between shaves (and how long other people are typically going between them) or in what ways caring for facial hair is the same/different from caring for head hair or what kind of razor you like/is best for the shave you want or anything of the like.
you probably have a sense of about when you want to shave. the problem is that if you aren't used to shaving, instead of thinking "man i need to shave" you think "man i look like shit" & one of these things is actionable and the other is just going to make you feel like shit. and you only discover that it was the shave when (or IF) you finally do shave & the fog lifts and youre like ohhhhh i wasnt fundamentally unlovable and ugly i just disliked this minor thing about my appearance and did not have the experience yet to detect my dislike was about this specific thing.
one thing about living with dysphoria for many years is you can end up alienated from your body and develop avoidance behaviours about even considering how you feel about how you look, because it is so painful. these behaviours will persist even if the dysphoria itself starts to lessen or subside in the course of transitioning (thinking "i hate myself and if i think about my body for longer than 10 seconds i'll throw up" every single day for many years will have an impact on you even after you have started changing all the physical things that made you feel that way), and it will take a lot of time to work through this and slow your brain down enough to try to identify what is actually bothering you before jumping to immediate shutdown of thinking about your body. also you probably have regular insecurities about how you look that previously were completely overshadowed by the all-encompassing dysphoria hell. it can sometimes feel like you're doing something wrong if you don't love everything about your body all the time after you start pursuing transition, but that feeling is a lie. you are a human being, and nobody loves everything about how they look all the time.
hormones are a boost to getting you to be the person you want to be, but they won't get you to the finish line. for that you gotta do the same thing as everyone else: really think about your body and how you want to look, and try a bunch of stuff out if you're not sure. a decent shave is one of those things that is often overlooked but can dramatically change how you look and feel. learn from my life lessons & try a shave before you spiral. okay love you goodnight sleep tight dont let the bedbugs bite
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